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"How dare you speak to the Minister that way!" Umbridge screeched. |
"Do shut your pie hole lady." Carmen snapped and handed the Minister a piece of paper. She began to walk around the room as she spoke. "You have mentioned quite a few times that the safety of the students is your first priority." The minister gave a short jerk of his head. "That’s one of the reasons I call bullshit." |
Carmen gave out the same copy of the paper she handed the Minister to the rest of the board and the staff. "In your hands you hold the injury reports for students that occurred on those Goddess awful school brooms. Madame Hooch. In your tenure here, how often did you ask for replacements?" |
"A few times a year. Each time it was denied." Rolanda wondered where this was going. She had been very grateful for the new brooms, and student and staff alike had taken great pleasure in destroying the old ones. |
"As to you the school board why was this not addressed? Why was it I who replaced them all and not those responsible for the task." |
"You replaced all of the school brooms?" Yaxley asked. On principle he did not like this woman. |
"In addition, I gave new brooms of various type to each of the four houses with their house crest. But that’s not the point. Why didn’t the board do it? I mean if safety is so important and all. Anyway, in your hands you hold the report of injuries due to those wretched death traps. It spans all houses and bloodlines s... |
"Quidditch is a very volatile game..." Lord Nott started. |
"I agree, which is why I can’t stand it. But of all the numbers that I listed only twenty happened during Quidditch. The rest was during training and just flying for fun. Those charms and twigs don’t last forever. Moving on." |
Carmen shuffled her papers and found what she was looking for. "Ah. If safety of all students is so important, why is there a colony of Acromantula living in the Forbidden Forest? Right on the threshold to access to hundreds of children?" |
She heard Albus’ muttered "oh dear’. Minister Fudge looked green. Even Malfoy for all his evil looked upset. Quite a few students shrieked in fear. |
"I beg your pardon?" Asked the steely voice of Madame Bones. |
Carmen gave her an incredulous look. "You didn’t know? You’re the Head of the DMLE." |
"I assure you Miss. LaVaunt I didn’t know. Do you know how many?" |
The new Warden looked down at her paper. Her eyes went wide, as she had not had time to read the specifics. She looked up. "It could well be over two hundred full adults, but no less than one hundred." She turned to the Headmaster in horror. "Albus?" |
Albus Dumbledore looked every bit his age. "I knew that there were Acromantula yes. But I swear to you never that many." Carmen believed him. He didn’t know it had gotten that out of hand. |
"Albus are you insane?!" Minerva screamed. "Those monsters sided with You-Know-Who in the last war. The only ones who can control them even remotely are giants. Or did you forget who they sided with as well?!" |
"You two could battle this out later. For now you need a plan. I’ll leave that in the hands of the capable staff and the law enforcement officers. Moving on. How in nine circles of Hades did a troll get in the castle on Samhain in ninety one?" |
"I can answer that madame. It was just a rumour started by school children. It happens quite frequently." The students did not look impressed at being called liars by the Minister. |
Carmen simply raised a brow and turned to Professor Sprout. "Madame Sprout." |
She nodded. "A troll was somehow let into the castle. The defence professor at the time ran into the Great Hall yelling that there was a troll in the dungeons and then fainted. The prefects were ordered to escort the students to their houses, which included those of us that reside in the dungeons." |
Lucius Malfoy hated Amelia Bones with a passion. They didn’t agree on most things. She was too head strong. A justice fighter who was aiming to take down the Dark Lord once and for all, including his Death Eaters. But as their eyes met across the table the look of pure rage was shared among them. He had put their Heirs... |
"Let me get me make sure that I understand this Albus. You ordered students who didn’t have a fully trained witch or wizard to leave a relatively secured area to go back to their dormitories. Two of which are in the dungeons that you were just told had a troll roaming around in them. Am I correct?" Lucius asked in a si... |
Severus smiled at his once longtime friend around his tea cup. |
Albus waived a dismissive hand. "You are reading too much into this Lucius. It was a simple mistake." |
"Then by all means explain it to me Albus." Amelia’s magic was starting to leak out. "How you sent my niece into the pathway of a troll! I suppose I don’t have that Slytherin cunning that Lucius possesses, but I have a badge and the DMLE should have been notified! How was the situation handled?" |
"The professors took care of the problem." Albus claimed calmly."And that is lie and you know it." Ron Weasley shouted. |
"Ten points from Gryffindor!" Snape called out. Even though he knew that he could not actually take them. |
"Professor you could drain us into the negative, but I won’t have this swept under the rug any longer." Ron turned to Madame Bones. "Harry and me went looking for Hermione. I was a berk earlier in the day and she had been in the girl’s loo crying all day. She didn’t know about the troll. It had her trapped in the bathr... |
Harry and Hermione were in hysterics, as the professor clapped in glee. |
Ron pulled his wand. "I Ronald Billius Weasley swear on my magic that what I said was the truth. So say I so mote it be." Harry and Hermione gave similar vows and they all cast a successful Lumos. |
"Mr. Weasley, when time permits, I would like to see that memory." |
"Of course Madame Bones." Ronald bowed in respect. Aunt Andy’s etiquette lessons still scared him. |
"Of all the idiotic, ridiculous..." People were shouting to be heard over the others. |
"Calm down folks. I have brought these examples to transition to the topic of wards. Now they haven’t been updated in three decades. As much as you are mad at the Headmaster, he has asked repeatedly for allocation to update them. He has been turned down multiple time. Care to explain?" |
"It did not seem necessary at the time." Lord Nott explained. |
"And now?" She asked with a raised brow. |
"The Board shall take it under advisement." He nodded. |
"Riiiight." She said with clear disbelief in her voice. "Moving on." She picked up the book she had resized and dropped it heavily on the table. |
"It can’t be!" Dumbledore exclaimed. |
"Behold! The book of Incidents! Thank you Lady H." She muttered that last part and a gong sounded. |
"What precisely is the Book of Incidents?" Amelia Bones asked. |
"Funny you should ask that Madame Bones. It is a book of every crime ever committed in this school and on these grounds. Which includes by the way Hogsmeade, which was actually a part of the school until Gryffindor sold it to the town. Well rented actually. Now this book shows every crime committed. Every rape, robbery... |
"Yes yes! You’ve made your point!" Cornelius Fudge made a fetching shade of tomatoe. |
"My point is the wards are horrible and need to be replaced. I will do it at my own cost of course since it’s not a priority for the rest of you." She waved her hand and sent papers to every member of the school board. "You will notice in my preliminary report that many of the wards are inactive because someone deemed ... |
"My next point of order. Who is responsible for hiring the staff?" |
"The Headmaster puts forth a candidate, and we vote on it." Arthur Weasley stated. |
"So who was the genius who voted to hire Gilderoy Lockheart?" Carmen asked. |
"It was a unanimous decision as there were no other candidates." Lucius stated calmly. |
"And how was he vetted fully?" |
"Mostly on his reputation. As Lucius has stated, there were no other candidates." Madame Longbottom said. |
She felt her brother knock on her shields again as she was lost in thought on the multiple ways she could kill that old hag. She shook her head. |
"Hmm. Then it should surprise you to know that he is wanted in four countries for child rape and obliviation of both magical and non magical children. He prefers young boys, rapes them and then obliviates them. It only came to light after an elderly grandmother caught him in the act. Before she could blast him to piece... |
Some students had already run out of the great hall. Hermione actually sicked up. The staff and board members were doing no better. |
"It...that can’t be." Cornelius whispered. After he had finished cleaning his mouth. |
Carmen rolled her eyes and turned to Madame Bones. "Nothing came across your desk from MAGINTERPOL?" |
"I’m sorry to say I don’t know what that is." Director Bones conceded. |
Carmen sighed. "Given the state of...you know what? Never mind. Not my business." Carmen flipped through her pages. "If the safety of the students is of the utmost priority, why wasn’t it shut down when said students were being petrified?" |
"Carmen." Harry called out. |
"Huh?" she looked up |
Harry shook his head. "Not yet." He mind spoke his fear of what would happen if the ministry found out they had a basilisk carcass down there before the goblins came to render it. |
"Moving on. Mr. Draco Malfoy please come here. Madame Marchbanks, you will want to hear this. |
Lucius narrowed his eyes at the new Warden as his son approached. "Yes?" He was nervous but he didn’t show it. |
"Tell your father, in your own words what you have been learning in the current DADA class. Madame Marchbanks." Carmen pulled out another book from her case and handed it to the elder woman. "You might want to skim this. That is the current text that Dolores Umbridge is having the students study from." |
Draco looked at his father. |
His father looked back with a raised brow. Draco knew better than to embarrass him. |
"Nothing." Draco muttered. |
"Speak up Draco." His father ordered. |
"She teaches us nothing father. She assigned us a book that is not remotely useful. There are no offensive or defensive spells. The majority of the book tells us just to wait for the Aurors if there is an attack. We are not allowed to use our wands in class at all." |
Even the Dark faction on the Board looked thunderous. "Does anyone else have a copy of this book?" Yaxley asked. |
Hermione came up to the dour man and handed him hers. He was tempted to snatch it from the Mudblood, but decided against it with so many witnesses. As more students came up with copies of their books, the Board and the staff looked thunderous. |
"Cornelius. As you appointed her, you have until one month after the Yule holiday break to fix this miscarriage of education." The Lady Marchbanks stated as she spit on the book and threw it to the floor. |
"I agree." Lord Malfoy said reluctantly. He didn’t care if the Mudbloods and the Halfbloods learned anything or not, but he would not let his son’s education suffer. A Malfoy scoring subpar on OWLs indeed! It was put to a vote and was agreed to unanimously. |
The students from all houses cheered. |
Carmen conjured a simple chair and sat it less than a foot in front of the Minister. Their knees were almost touching. |
"I want to explain to you what my ICW classification actually means." Carmen started out as she had her forearms on here thighs, and her hands clasped together. She stared the Minister down hard. "I have what is known as diplomatic immunity. In the magical and the mundane world." |
Cornelius paled. |
"I see you understand what that means Minister." |
"What does that mean?" A student was heard asking. |
"It means..." Amelia Bones sighed. "That she could kill the Minister and we couldn’t charge her. And he signed the document allowing it." A few people heard her mutter "idiot’."I am bound by oath, blood, law and magic to act with honor. I have pledged myself to Mother Magick." |
Albus and Minerva gasped. |
"So." Carmen resumed her original position in her chair. "Back to the reason I call bullshit." |
"HOW DARE YOU SPE..." That was as far as Umbridge got. Without taking her eyes off the Minister she flicked her hand over right shoulder and then there was silence as a wand came sailing into her hand. She placed it on the floor. "A simple enervate will wake the cow." Madame Pomphrey did as instructed even as Albus sum... |
When people looked at Umbridge again, she was bound and unconscious. She looked at her brothers. They both looked back at her with a raised brow. She shrugged and returned to her conversation. |
"Unlike you Minister I truly do believe that the welfare of magical children is of the highest priority." |
"I.." the Minister was cut off. |
"Unlike you Minister I believe that ALL children regardless of race or bloodline is important." |
"Unlike you Minister and your worthless fucking lackeys, I know that magic is a gift and not a right." |
"Unlike you Minister I have had FOURTEEN students come to me seeking asylum from their abusive families. All blood statuses! From all houses! Madame Bones. What is the law regarding mundane born students and abuse?" |
Amelia Bones looked embarrassed. "It’s handled through the muggle authorities." |
Carmen looked at her and raised a brow. "So the magical authorities do nothing when a magical child is being abused." |
Madame Bones sighed. "It’s complicated." |
"Complicated. COMPLICATED! You have the only stellar reputation in the law enforcement community to come from Britain and all you could come up with is complicated. For fucks sake a student has been raped so badly by her step father that she may not be able to have children! He’s attempting to rape the demon out of her... |
Everyone stared in shock as the windows started to rattle. |
Before Morpheus could get to her, Caille popped in jumped up and smacked her on the side of her head. Hard. |
Carmen shook her head. Clearing the rage that was beginning. She looked down to a pissed off elf. "Sorry?" She hedged looking at the elf and her brother. |
"Finish this." Morpheus said sternly. Carmen gave a nod and turned back to the rest of the Great Hall. |
"My final food for thought is this. Get it out of your head that you are the best school in Europe. You’re not and haven’t been for a long time." |
"Start with the premise that you actually have thirty seven schools of magic in Western Europe. Five of which are advanced schools. Here are your rankings by the European Magical Education Authority. Keep in mind we are talking about the thirty two schools and the same courses. Although many of the schools offer far mo... |
"He is a filthy beast! He is not fit to be around children." Yelled Umbridge. Carmen thought to herself "I should have just let the bitch stay out.’ Many of the students glared at her. Including some of the Slytherins. Despite his condition, the vast majority of the students felt he was the best teacher that they had e... |
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