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Elendar had dreamt of kissing the pretty bow-curve of those lips, when they'd stood entwined in the Weave. Now, the same fantasy steals his thoughts once more. |
It would be so easy, to lean in and make it come true. |
When he closes his eyes, all he can see is Minthara’s ruined corpse. |
When he opens them, he sees a man he does not deserve. |
He draws back, ignores the pang in his heart. "And I ought to thank my stars that you trust me, I suppose. Especially after...earlier. The Nightwarden." |
"What about her?" |
Elendar’s mouth tastes of bile. "You saw what I did to her." |
"In case you hadn’t noticed, I was rather preoccupied with having the wind knocked out of me." His tone is light - too light, given the subject. "She could’ve killed us both, had you not killed her. Perhaps you did so with a zeal I’d ordinarily associate with our dear githyanki friend, but the deed was done nonethele... |
"I didn’t stop even after she’d died. I...killed brutally. Without reservation. As a drow would." He shakes his head, staring into the embers as though they hold the answers he seeks. Without the necklace, he feels oddly naked, stripped of the divine presence he’s sought. "Ninety years I’ve spent, trying to become some... |
"It mattered." Stars, Gale isn’t moving away. |
He laughs, bitter and dry. "Did it?" |
"Would you have healed me, before?" |
"I wouldn’t have known how." |
Before, his learnings of anatomy were a poisoner’s knowledge - knowledge meant to harm. Now, that understanding is turned to a nobler purpose. |
Or he’d like to think it is, at least. |
"There, you see? You’ve learned, and I for one am grateful you proved such a diligent student." |
"Then where did it come from? That...that rage ." Elendar balls his fists in his lap. "If not from my blood, then..." |
"Anger is human, Elendar." Gale speaks with a softness he’s never known. "Whatever happened to you before...from what I know of drow, they don’t exactly value their men." |
"Men are Urztehii . Unchosen." Chin in hands, Elendar gazes into the campfire. "To worsen the sin I was born with, I do not bear a noble name. Common Houses tear ourselves apart to survive. The things I’ve seen...but I’ll burden you no further." |
"You can say whatever you need someone to hear." |
Oh, goddess, he means it. |
Elendar swallows around a sudden lump in his throat. "No one’s ever offered me such a thing," he admits. "I wouldn’t know where to begin." |
Gale’s voice is still so quiet it aches. "That alone tells me that you’ve got something worth getting angry about." |
He pauses - gods, he’s worn out, the sort of exhaustion that seeps in down to his marrow. He’ll never admit how good that white-hot anger had felt, but it’s drained from him, replaced with a dull ache he does not know how to name. It’s something beyond tired . He shakes his head, once, strands of hair slipping from th... |
"Perhaps we ought to retire, then." Gale makes as if to stand, and suddenly, the thought of being alone with his thoughts is unbearable. |
"Wait." He barely keeps from reaching out to him. "I..." |
Gale hesitates, between stars and the campfire’s sparks. Even with weary eyes, he smiles at him. "What do you need?" |
"I was thinking...well, that is..." Elendar chews at his lip. |
Ordinarily, he’d seek the presence of his goddess to ease that gnawing loneliness. After what he’s done, he hardly feels worthy to. He’ll pray to her again, of course, come sunrise. Now... |
"Would you stay with me?" |
Perhaps it’s a mortal presence he needs, if only for the night. |
"You know, you always have been a veritable font of good ideas." Gale settles back down at his side, adjusting the skirt of his robes, that smile spreading slowly. "Very well. Let us while away the night together. I can think of far worse company to keep." |
Elendar can think of far more deserving company Gale could keep, but if he’s chosen to stay... |
He finds himself returning Gale’s smile - and gods, it aches, knowing he can’t lean in and touch him the way he’s found himself wanting to. |
"I think we’re better off together," Elendar confesses. |
If only together could mean what he wants it to. |
Even after all the times he's felt his touch, through his clothes or on his bare skin, Elendar still marvels at how gentle Gale's hands are. |
One is currently resting between Elendar's thighs, warm against the delicate skin where his leg meets his body. He traces aimless circles there, kneeling on the bed in the gap left between his parted legs. His touch is that of a scholar, soft and inquisitive, as if searching for the answer to unasked questions. He's cl... |
Distance grows more maddening the smaller it is - another thing to marvel at. |
"I haven't changed my mind, you know." Elendar spreads his thighs just a little further, ignoring the flush he knows is creeping down his chest. |
A furrow appears at Gale’s brow. "But you’d tell me if you had, yes?" |
He nods. "You’ll listen." It’s a statement, not a question - Gale has never given him reason for it to be otherwise. |
He doubts, sometimes, but he’s gotten better at telling senseless fear from rational concern. If Gale truly gave him cause for the latter, he wouldn’t be here, laying before him naked and aroused. |
They’d worked up to this point, lying atop a conjured bed beneath the wind-stirred branches of the trees and kissing one another half breathless, hands clumsy on the buckles of belts and the folds of robes, grinding their cocks together, Gale’s fist briefly closing around both their shafts to work them to hardness. Now... |
He wants this, he really does, but every first is like throwing himself off a cliff without looking at what lies below. |
Gale props himself back against the cushions and circles one arm behind his shoulders, leaning him back with him until he’s all but cradling Elendar against his chest. One hand trails down his torso - his skin paler by moonlight, Elendar's tinged almost blue. The contrast is sharper, somehow, in the soft hues of night. |
That warm hand slipping between his thighs brings any other thought to a shuddering halt. |
Gale presses a slick fingertip to his entrance, and he flinches at the cold oil left smeared on his heated skin. |
The touch retreats immediately. He can all but hear Gale frowning. "I have to ask - are you certain this is what you want? If you’d rather stop..." |
Gale knows it frightens him, the loss of control. He doesn't quite understand that this is the opposite. |
"I want this." He rests his hand atop the one on his thigh in what he hopes is a reassuring gesture. "I've gathered that this is...to your people, it is considered submission, to be taken like this. Among mine, it is the opposite." |
Gale tilts his head in ever so slight bewilderment. His fingertip circles his entrance once more, and this time Elendar expects the chill of the oil, taking it unflinchingly. "Then this doesn't feel..." |
"Vulnerable? Yes." He draws a deep breath. "Submissive? No." |
"However it feels, you take to it beautifully," he murmurs, almost to himself. |
Elendar's face heats up, but he takes Gale's hand nonetheless. "I want this," he says softly, a reply asked for only in the hesitation of Gale's hand between his legs. He meets his gaze, briefly, shyly. "Please?" |
"Anything you wish of me." Gale's eyes are impossibly warm - like he imagines the sun would be if its light didn’t burn. "Say the word, and I’ll stop." |
"I know." He feels himself smile at the words, or the truth of them - he’d never imagined how this trust might feel. "I don’t want you to." |
And then an oil-slicked finger is pressing gently into him, spreading him around it. He can't help the gasp that falls from his lips, nor the way his eyes go wide. |
"Don’t stop," he whispers, somehow feeling even more naked than he did a moment ago. With a soft caress to his shoulder, almost soothing, Gale obliges. |
It feels strange, more than anything, to be worked open like this. His body goes taut against the foreign sensation of being entered. |
"You’re tense." Gale’s hand stills. "I want this to feel good." |
Elendar meets his eyes as directly as he dares - they’re dark and steady, filled with that warmth he's seen directed at none but him. His breathing evens out. "Then touch me." |
Gale strokes his cock almost inquisitively - stars, but he's so gentle with him it aches. At his tiny moan, Gale takes him fully in hand. |
It doesn't take more than a few passes of his hand over his cock to send Elendar's muscles going slack. It’s a wonder, how one person can make him feel so good with so little effort. |
How much better can he feel? |
"You can..." He draws a breath. "You can, ah, enter me. As long as you...you'll do it slowly, will you not?" |
"Of course." A reassurance, a chance to back out - one he doesn't take. |
It's almost unceremonious, the moment he breaches him for the first time. That's how Elendar needs it to be. |
He doesn't quite tense up at the foreign sensation of being opened , but a sound somewhere between a moan and a sign falls from his lips. Gale's hand quickens on his shaft as he sinks a finger into him. A dark blush heats his face as he feels his body relax beneath Gale's touch. |
His own responsiveness almost terrifies him, but moreso, it teases at his curiosity. What more can he feel? How else will he react? |
That promise of discovery keeps him breathless and eager as Gale works him open until his finger slides in and out of him without resistance. He's biting his lip against the way his breathing hitches, verges on running ragged with pleasure. |
Gale is slow and methodical about stretching him open. It's certainly not bad, he's quickly deciding. Not notably pleasurable, but not bad, either. He's adjusting much faster than he'd dared to hope he would. There's no pain, just an unfamiliar pressure. |
It's rapidly approaching pleasant, when he lets himself relax into it. |
"How does that feel?" The question is accompanied by a kiss to his cheek. |
"It, ah...it doesn't hurt?" The right words slip from his grasp. Maybe they were never quite there to begin with. |
Gale goes still. "That sounded like a question." |
"It wasn't. Truly, it feels fine." |
"Are you certain?" |
"Yes." Elendar lays a hand on his arm. "I’ll not lie to you. Keep going." |
Gale obeys, slower than before. He's too gentle to feel real. |
The second finger slips into him once he's open enough to take it with no more than brief pressure at his entrance, Gale asking if he wants this in a soft murmur as his fingertips almost slipped into him, only opening him with two fingers when he received Elendar's quiet assent. It doesn't feel bad, certainly. He's r... |
"Is that still good?" Gale slips both fingers in as far as they'll go and pauses, letting him adjust. Elendar’s brow furrows. |
"It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just not..." He bites his lip. "It’s not good like when you, ah...when you touch my cock. If that’s what you meant." |
"Patience," murmurs Gale. "I haven’t started on that part yet." |
A thrill runs down Elendar’s spine. He relaxes into Gale, into the gentleness with which he’s working him open. |
Before long, those fingers curl strangely within him, and Elendar stirs with a noise somewhere between a gasp and a hitched breath. Gale stills once more. "Too much?" |
"No, I just didn’t think..." |
"Is that alright, love?" |
He steadies himself with a squeeze of Gale’s arm. "Yes." |
The motion repeats, a littler shallower this time. Then again, almost seeking, testing what reactions he elicits. He’s watching his face with all his usual care, each touch gentle. It’s mildly pleasant, certainly, but not-- |
Gale's fingers curl again, and this time they hit a spot that makes him see every star in the sky. |
His own startled moan echoes in his ears as Gale circles around that spot once, gently, before easing off. In an instant, it's like his pleasure has deepened , coalescing into a heated throb behind his cock. His nerves feel primed, on edge for another touch, and he belatedly realizes that his knuckles have paled aroun... |
His fingers have stilled within him. "Was that a good noise?" |
"Stars, don't stop!" |
The words come out in a frantic whisper, a plea he's not certain he's allowed to make, and then Gale curls his fingers again and Elendar's world goes white at the seams. |
Elendar wants to say something - his name, or another plea for him to never, ever stop what he's doing - but only a thin, high gasp escapes his lips. Gale's fingertips nudge against that spot again and again, until his eyes flutter shut and his cock is throbbing in time with the pressure on the excruciatingly wonderf... |
He'd known that part of him existed, of course. He's not naïve. He'd just never had the courage or inclination to touch himself like this. |
If he'd known what he'd been missing, that would have changed decades ago. |
Gale crooks his fingers and this time he does moan his name, back arching off the bedroll. He can't think straight enough to be ashamed of how eagerly his body reacts. Stars, he can’t think straight at all. His thoughts are a litany of yes and more and please - which, he’s coming to realize, he’s voicing in bet... |
"You’re so beautiful," Gale murmurs adoringly. "Such a good boy for me." |
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