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"I didn’t realise I could be like that either. But, after seeing how Vern was acting with you..." Tadashi trailed off, averting his gaze from Akihiko as a flush blossomed on his skin. |
"Oh my god you got jealous over Vern?" Akihiko snorted a little, running a hand up and down Tadashi’s body. "He wishes he could be as attractive as you. I mean, you have the best tits in all of the guild!" |
Tadashi couldn’t help but shudder at the touch, though he did fling a stern look over at Akihiko. "I’m trying to have a serious conversation here." |
"Can’t help it, you’re just so gorgeous and I don’t wanna share a single bit of you with anyone else." |
"Do you know what you’re even saying, Akihiko?" |
"I do! I thought about you sleeping around whilst you were away and I wasn’t that big of a fan. But, we’re not a couple so it’s not really good of me to try and stop you from sleeping around." |
Tadashi let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d even been holding, pulling Akihiko closer. It amazed him just how well they fit together when cuddling, and just how much he liked Akihiko being clingy after sex. |
"I’m not ready to commit to a proper relationship just yet," Tadashi began, trying not to flinch at the hurt look that briefly crossed Akihiko’s face. "But... I also hate the idea of sharing you with anyone else. So, how about we become exclusive?" |
"How would that work?" Akihiko asked. His hand had begun idly tracing a pattern against Tadashi’s skin. |
"However you want it to work but if you want an idea, fucking other people would definitely be off limits. I don’t know how I’d feel with you going on dates with others, though..." Tadashi explained. If the Vern situation was anything to go by, he’d absolutely hate the idea, however he didn’t want to control Akihiko’s life like that, especially when he wasn’t ready for a full relationship. |
"So I get you all to myself, basically? I mean, I don’t think I like the idea of you dating other people but only getting to fuck me. Feels a bit wrong," Akihiko responded. |
"Glad to know we’re on a similar page then. Dating and sleeping with others would be off limits, the rest... well we can figure out the rest when we get there." |
"I think I like the sound of that," Akihiko said, giving Tadashi such a warm smile that Tadashi was wondering if maybe he could commit to a proper relationship with Akihiko. He didn’t want to rush things, however, worried that it’d only backfire and he’d lose someone he felt incredibly close to. |
"We should properly discuss this in the morning," Tadashi suggested, watching as Akihiko slipped underneath his bed covers like he owned the place. Tadashi was quick to follow him, casting a quick thaumaturgy spell to blow out the few lit candles in his room, plunging them into a comfortable darkness. |
"Showoff," came Akihiko’s voice, slightly muffled as he’d made his way onto Tadashi’s chest, using it like a makeshift pillow (despite the perfectly good pillows on Tadashi’s bed). |
"It’s the only spell I can cast. Besides, I know you like it," Tadashi remarked. |
"I do like it. I like you too." Akihiko’s voice was getting harder to understand as he slipped into sleep, but those words warmed Tadashi’s entire body. He wrapped his arms tightly around the half-elf, his tail draping protectively around him. |
"I like you too, Akihiko," Tadashi said as he let his eyes close and sleep took over. |
Tav stood in front of her, shifting their weight, hand grasping at a beautifully set jaw. Even the bard’s anxiety brimmed with charisma. Even now. Which made it even more...painful was not even the word. |
And Shadowheart |
Standing in their peaceful Baldur’s Gate dredge, under the light of her goddess, Tav was breaking up with her. |
"It’s not you. Or anything you’ve done or could ever do... I just... can’t help how I feel." |
The white haired cleric stood totally stunned, reflexively glancing at her scarred hand, which had long lost its power. |
"Why.." She braced herself. " I...I am not beyond sharing, you know that." |
Her resolve faltered as she met her lover’s steely gaze. She knew that resolve. She’d loved it just yesterday. The woman bowed her head, eyes stinging. |
"I can understand! It’s okay for you to want someone else too. We don’t have to end things... we can-I can-" The cleric tore her mind apart looking for answers. Had she slipped up somehow? Acted like her old self? She’d been trying so |
hard to be the perfect lover, the perfect Selunite, the perfect- |
Shadowheart felt her chest burn and hollow with sorrow and rage, her hands sparking with energy. She bristled as the smallest, most infinitesimal part of herself longed for Shar’s embrace.. It made the taste in her mouth turn from bitterness to ash. |
"You say it’s not me, and yet you |
leave me. When you could freely take another, if all you did was |
" She spat the words as her mind swirled in a whirlwind of nausea, pain, anguish, hurt and confusion. |
Worst of all among her feelings though, was what she’d been hunting for. A sense of |
When had the person she’d drank with, kissed, and bared her heart to in the wee hours of the night changed? She could hazard a guess. Was it when they’d lingered a bit too long in front of the Mirror of Loss, promising that they wished to find a way to break it? Was it the smell of ash that lingered on their skin, when they’d exited Raphael’s boudoir, or the sporadic lustful shivers they refused to speak of once they returned? Was it that awful night where they were tempted by Mizora, and all they had to say for themselves was that they " |
what it felt like?" |
...Was it when she alone witnessed them killing that awful drunkard Hollyphant as an offering to Bhaal? |
She had dismissed each of these moments, one after the other. Tav had saved her from Shar, held her and kissed her tears away as she’d grieved her parents. She had broken Lae’zel’s shackles and given Astarion the dagger to kill his master. Each and every one of them had been rescued, saved from their inner darkness. How could she have disapproved of them taking some on for themselves? Of course |
knew better? Of course |
knew their limits? |
Now that too was in question. |
She looked into Tav’s eyes searching for any hint of her beloved.The eyes were marble black now, their face forever marred by dark branching veins. She saw nothing in those eyes but a familiar mewling darkness. An abyss. Loss. |
Her eyes scanned the camp. Astarion, Wyll, Karlach, Halsin, Gale...Lae’zel. They were her friends, surely...bound in blood. But she had lost her |
people, her parents... and now |
"I know that you would share. And I have always loved your pragmatism... your understanding, you know that. But Minthara..." The half-drow cast a glance toward the woman who Shadowheart did not see staring, but could still sense alighting her with haughty displeasure. |
"-Minthara will not." They finished in unison. |
"What do you even like about her so much? What can she give you that I can’t?" |
Tav rubbed their face, foot scraping at the ground. "Do you really want me to answer that?" |
"Being with her feels... |
." The half-drow scanned the ground, looking anywhere but at the Selunite as they gestured loosely with their hands. "I...my time with Mizora.. I saw things, felt things in my soul that I can’t..." They huffed. "And I never told you this but in Raphael’s room there was an incubus... maybe that’s where all of this started." |
Shadowheart felt like cracked glass, Tav’s words rapping at her breaking point, and the bard finally met her eyes. |
"I’ve changed Shadowheart. And so have you. When I look at you now, it’s almost blinding - your goodness. Your love is so... light and... |
. That’s what I always wanted for you. That’s what you deserve. But it’s no longer what I want, for me." |
The cleric felt like she could laugh if it wouldn’t make her throw up. Tav was saying that all the darkness she’d banished, all of the good things about herself that she gained at their side...were... |
How could she have let this happen? She had felt it in the way their conversations had petered out into meaningless drivel. There had been no more impromptu kisses and it had been |
since they had last laid together. |
If she were honest with herself, totally honest, this was no surprise. A part of her had already grieved and was ringing its hollow bell. But she had hoped that if she could just be good enough, if she could be |
, things might get better. |
Tav sighed and placed a gauntleted hand on her shoulder. "You are strong. You will endure. We need you. Faerun needs you." |
Shadowheart’s whole body shook with sobs but she did not remove the hand, knowing it may well be the last time she would feel it. Cold and iron as it may now be, she was too weak to move it. |
All of her lover’s anxiety dissipated now that the hard part was over, and they moved within inches of her - chin lifted - as if to kiss her forehead. As they had done so many times before. |
And then, they didn’t. |
They simply pulled her into a quick, uneasy embrace before turning on their heels and walking away. |
Shadowheart collapsed then, her rage blown to bits by that damning final kiss. She almost didn’t feel the eyes on hers. And to her chagrin, despite feeling utterly pathetic, could not help but glance up to see if Tav was shooting one more poignant look in her direction. |
But all she saw was Tav’s retreating back. |
She did not notice glowing, feline eyes widened in what could only be described as...pity. |
All had been agony that fateful night. Shadowheart had crawled into her tent, prostrating herself in front of an idol of Selune - one of Tav’s final gifts - beseeching her guidance before crying herself to sleep. She wondered if she’d be able to keep going without Shar’s emotion smothering blessing but found that Selune’s guidance was somehow more effective than dark, murky suppression. Even in the face of this awful truth, that Tav preferred her broken, ruthless and cruel, she would not relent. Her path had changed. If anything, she was even more emboldened. Perhaps if she could fully dedicate herself to Selune she wouldn’t have such horrible thoughts. |
The first day had been impossible. She’d all but sealed the flap of her tent closed, escaping to peck at leftovers once the camp was quiet and empty. |
For a week the cleric spent all her time in intentional isolation, in meditation, as she prayed Selune would guide her toward peace. Acceptance. |
Finally though, on a night when she actually wished to see the stars, she emerged once she heard the chatter of her returning friends. With as much of her usual cheeky flourish as she could muster, she found herself asking if anyone was in need of healing. |
Jaheira, who had dedicated herself to Selune as a lunar druid after the misery at Moonrise, raised a brow. "I may be a few years your senior but I am capable of tending to these sorry folks while you rest." |
Shadowheart gave a weak smile. "I’ve been spending most of my time with our goddess lately so I’m practically |
with capacity." She approached the woman gingerly. "...And it looks like you’ve gotten a few enough injuries yourself." |
Jaheira attempted to relax the arm she’d been nursing only to receive a knowing look from the cleric. |
"Very well. When have you known me to ask someone to slack off twice. Get to work." |
Gale walked over to them. "I want you to know I did try to keep them all out of trouble." He threw a finger behind him. "But of course our resident doombringers could not possibly remain inside my globe of invulnerability no matter how large I attempted to make it." |
Karlach grinned as she clutched a wound at her side. "Don’t get me wrong - love my crossbow, but it just isn’t the same if you don’t see them shit themselves a little right before you bring down the hammer. Right, Lae?" |
Lae’zel was actually limping a bit, almost imperceptibly. Shadowheart might not have noticed had she not become so accustomed to her straight-backed gait and commitment to being |
"It is you that prefers hammers," the gith murmured coolly, "but of course I understand your meaning." |
The woman placed a gaze on the cleric with enough weight to concern her. |
"I am glad to hear that you will resume tending to our wounds. Jaheira is a competent healer, but she insists on accompanying her ministrations with lectures." |
Jaheira furrowed her brow. "Lectures? I simply asked that you not fly into an entire band of enemies with no plan but to try to hit as many as you can with one strike!" |
"Tsk’va! I am able to cut down as many as 12 enemies in a single greatsword maneuver but only if they are close enough. By descending upon them with the wrath of Mother Gith’s hrath ajak, I am able to put terror in their hearts and measure my swing." |
Karlach beamed. "In our first fight of the day at the fucking asscrack of dawn, she killed a whole ambush of cultists today before any of us could get a hit in. Even Tav!" |
Immediately, the tiefling’s expression shifted to mortification and she clapped a hand over her mouth. But , to her credit, she did not apologize for mentioning their leader’s name. |
The half-drow was finally approaching their camp as well, Minthara stalking wordlessly beside them. |
"What did Tav do?" The half-drow asked casually as they snatched up an apple from a crate. |
"Nothing helpful." Lae’zel gruffed. |
Tavlin’s eyebrows knit in confusion but they did not respond, only slowed their chewing. |
Shadowheart looked between the both of them as the Githyanki woman passed in front of her. "I will seek your healing last, cleric, once you have seen to the others." With her back turned she finished. "And after you have eaten." |
The white-haired woman looked after her quizzically, her behavior odd enough to distract her from her ex-lover’s appearance. After she had |
Was the woman implying that she cared whether she had gotten to eat before doing her job? And...was she mad at Tav for some reason? |
Sure she and the gith had become almost friends if each of their battles could be classified as get-togethers. They worked well as a unit, and kept each other from harm. It would be a lie to say that after overcoming the lionshare of her ire towards the gith, that she did not somewhat...treasure... her membership in their little party. She was an army all to herself for one. Rash, but never so that anyone but herself was in danger. If anything, she and Karlach made it their mission to protect the backline. |
And now she was... not |
nice but she was almost kind, and reliable. And she had been the first person she’d met on the Nautiloid as hateful and arrogant as she was then. In a way, she’d been by her side longer than anyone else present. Aside from... |
Her stomach twisted unnaturally, but recovered. |
But there was no way the gith was mad at Tav for what had transpired in their relationship. No, of course not. They were not |
close, and she was not that kind of woman. The bard must have just been exceedingly off her game today. |
Which was nice to think about, actually. |
So too was the feeling that she might not be the only person who didn’t currently think Lathander’s light shined out of Tav’s ass but...that was a much greater reach. And she did not wish to pray on the bard’s downfall. She didn’t do that anymore. |
The cleric was snapped out of her thoughts as Astarion bounded up, tunic matted with blood. "Well, if both you and the gith are feeling so charitable, I may as well oblige." |
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