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Wyll winced in a way that made Astarion doubt his approach. But then he breathed deep, horned head bowed and nodded. |
"I... suppose you're right. Time will tell." |
Astarion risked stepping closer and took the wine as an excuse. He stayed close as he drank. When he passed the bottle back, that small, self-depreciating smile was on Wyll's face again. Perhaps the Blade of the Frontiers would rescue him from the prospect of going grovelling to Gale. |
"Why did you come out here?" Wyll wondered. |
"Oh, well it was no party without you, darling." |
"Really? I'm flattered-" |
Astarion had enough time to smile before Wyll added, |
"Flattered. But not convinced. Why did you come out here?" |
As plays for time go it wasn’t the best he'd ever come up with. But then it was so much easier with the fools he lured back for Cazador. Because if one didn't bite, he could always move on to another until someone did. This time... |
This time the pool was desperately small. |
"Well, the party was a disaster and I was hoping for a little... fun." |
"Fun?" Wyll echoed dubiously. |
Not a promising sign but Astarion kept the smile on his face regardless. Tried to look hopeful. Heroes liked "hopeful" didn't they? |
"I thought we could make our own entertainment. Get a little closer, so to speak." |
He could tell as soon as he’d said it that it wasn’t the right approach. It was in the way Wyll’s smile dropped, a sort of disappointment that just would not do. |
Not anger though. He |
wouldn’t draw his sword or conjure a spell or- |
Which was good because Astarion had seen him fight and wasn’t altogether sure he’d be able to walk away from that confrontation. |
"That’s- Um... I mean, I’m flattered." |
The only reason it hadn’t gone downhill more rapidly was that he’d caught Wyll off-guard. There must have been a way to salvage it, somehow. If only he had time to think- |
"But I’m, I’m not- I’m not interested in a quick tryst," |
Oh Gods Astarion wasn’t going to be able to pull this back was he? |
"I... I want, I prefer, something meaningful," Wyll continued, gentle and remorseless. "I... want to take my time, fall in love-" |
It occurred to Astarion that what heroes wanted, more than hopeful, was someone to save. |
He turned away from Wyll as quickly as he could. If he kept his head bowed, his shoulders raised- Because that could mean any of a dozen feelings and might give him enough breathing space to |
He could do this. He could even see |
. It would be simple... natural even. |
And it would hurt. |
do this. He could wrap Wyll around his little finger and then- Then he’d be safe. Safer. Tav listened to Wyll and, and if Cazador decided to do anything more drastic than send a solitary Gur... Well it would be easier to survive with the Blade of Frontiers beside him. |
He raised his head a little but didn’t turn because he didn’t have his face quite right yet. But what he needed to do, what he needed to say was- |
Laugh. Let it sound a little brittle, a little bitter. |
"You know I think that’s the first time I’ve actually seen you be cruel? Well done, darling! I’m- I’m impressed. Excellently played. I certainly won’t be bothering you again." |
Drop your head. Let your shoulders shake. Leave a moment silent before you start to walk. Take your steps slowly and deliberately. You are bait dangling on a string; moving too fast scares the prey away. So slow steps- |
"What do you mean?" |
Astarion turned with a smile every bit as brittle as the laugh had been. He probably looked like he was barely containing misery. It wasn’t that hard. |
"I mean that I expected better of you! After all you're the one going round telling us we should rescue children from trees and be kind to kittens and the like. And you've not shown any sign of hypocrisy before. But I suppose you feel differently when you don't have an adoring audience-" |
He was pushing a little too hard, Wyll was starting to look genuinely upset. Or... agitated at least. |
That was necessary. Part of the ploy. |
"If I've offended you-" Wyll began and Astarion laughed again. |
He half-turned away as he did, let the sound bleed into a choked off sob. "If! You could have just said you don't fuck monsters. It would have been kinder-" |
Wyll closed the gap between them, reached out and caught Astarion’s arm. Astarion shrugged him off. |
"Look Astarion, mate I, I really don’t understand what you’re talking about-" |
He must have struck well, to make Wyll’s carefully upper class wording crack. |
"I’m a vampire spawn," he whirled on Wyll, fangs bared, looking every bit as angry as he felt. And hopefully significantly more hurt. "I don’t get to fall in love. I don’t get to have one of your pretty, perfect romances. And I don’t have time. Because- Well what do you think is going to happen when Tav gets these tadpoles out of our skulls hmm? I mean, you’re a monster hunter, aren’t you? So you know how it works." |
"No. Please. Tell me I’ve got all the time in the realms. Tell me I’m free to choose whoever and whatever I like. Go on. Lie." |
For a moment he looked stricken and Astarion felt a sort of ache in his chest. Like he’d run too far and needed to catch his breath. It faded quickly. |
Wyll looked at the ground. |
"I, I’m sorry. I didn’t think." |
Astarion turned away again, dabbed at dry eyes. |
"I didn’t mean-" |
"Of course you didn’t, darling-" |
"Dammit, Astarion, I’m not-" he reached out again and Astarion managed not to flinch. "Come here." |
He pulled Astarion into his arms. |
Past the horns, into a tight hug. Astarion put his head on Wyll’s shoulder, where he couldn’t see his face. His shoulders shook. |
"OK. OK, shush. It’s OK. I- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry mate." |
Sorry wasn’t what Astarion wanted. But it would do. It was step in the right direction, if his theory was correct. Could you really pity someone enough to protect them? Maybe Wyll could. Maybe that was all it took. |
Still it was better to be sure. |
He brought his arms up slowly and held Wyll tight. Slowed his breathing by degrees in a way that hopefully seemed natural. He could feel disgust or humiliation or something close to them rolling around in his gut. He didn't want to be pitied. He didn't want to play act this sort of weakness. Any sort of weakness really. |
But dammit all, it was working wasn't it? And Wyll was formidable and handsome and deliciously righteous. He'd tumbled into bed with worse prospects for much, much less and felt nothing. He didn't want to think about what he was feeling now. |
So instead he took a deep, deliberate breath. Let it out slow and shaking. |
"I'm not going to bite," he murmured. |
Then he leaned in closer and kissed Wyll's neck. He felt Wyll tense and half-wished he could see his face. That he had more to judge from. He paused. When Wyll didn't push him away he kissed him again, further up along the line of muscle and vein. |
Gods, he smelt divine. He would taste divine. Deep and rich and strong. Like all the spices Astarion couldn't eat anymore. Sweet as the fruits he could barely remember the flavours of. |
Astarion kissed him again. And somehow Wyll hadn't pushed him away. His hands had stayed at the same spot on Astarion's shoulders. He'd relaxed a little which was probably a good sign but- |
Astarion pulled back for a quick glance at his- Target? Partner? Wyll was staring at him, mouth caught between turning up and turning down. He had the same frown on his face he'd had staring at the floor in the Selûnite ruins. Like Astarion was a puzzle to be worked out. |
He didn't object when Astarion leaned in to kiss him properly. He didn't push away or hold his mouth closed or give any indication that he found this, or Astarion, repulsive. |
e kissed quite sweetly. Slow and gentle, savouring. He probably wasn’t entirely inexperienced then, thank the Gods for small mercies. |
When they broke apart Astarion stayed close, eyes downcast and hands resting on Wyll’s shoulders. |
Enough to create the impression of... Well he wasn’t entirely sure what he was aiming for any more, just that it would probably destroy the remains of his dignity. |
He felt Wyll sigh. |
"Astarion? Look at me? Please." |
Normally he’d say "Well, since you asked nicely’ or something to that effect but that distance, that defence didn’t fit with the weakness he was playing at. So instead he jerked his head up and looked at Wyll. Hoped that he looked hopeful. |
Wyll looked him in the eye, unbearably earnest. "Do you want this? Truly?" |
"Do you think I would have asked if I didn’t?" |
The fact that Wyll paused before he spoke made Astarion think he’d underestimated the man’s perceptiveness. |
"A clear answer, if you please." |
There was no way around that. |
"Yes," Astarion said, quiet but, well he sounded sure. Sounded serious. |
And it wasn’t exactly a lie was it? Wyll had his charms, plenty of them. |
If he thought that Astarion wanted this for the same reasons Wyll did well, that wasn’t Astarion’s fault. |
He stayed, looking into Astarion’s eyes for what felt like a very long time. Put a hand on the side of Astarion’s face and ran gentle fingers through his hair. |
"Alright," Wyll murmured. |
He leaned in for another kiss but barely stayed long enough for their lips to brush together before he stepped back. |
"Wait for me here. I’ll only be a moment." |
"What-" Astarion started to say but Wyll was already halfway up the track. |
"I’m not making love to you ankle deep in algae." |
Which Astarion supposed was a sort of explanation. |
"Have a little patience! I’ll just be a moment." |
There didn’t seem to be much point in chasing after him. So he didn’t. Once Wyll was out of earshot he started kicking stones into the lake. |
Astarion stood at the shoreline long enough to wonder whether Wyll was coming back or whether he'd taken the chance to run away into the woods. With luck and some well timed scorching rays he might have made it a significant way through the Underdark- |
Except it wasn't like Wyll. The Blade of Frontiers wouldn't promise to come back and then renege. It wasn't... well it just wasn't his style. |
So Astarion waited and tried not to think. Not about Tav. Not about Wyll. Not about other sweet, gentle men he'd fucked and wooed and whispered empty promises too. |
The stars were brighter out in the wilderness. The lake caught them and it made the thing look deeper, darker. Like the chasm going down into the Underdark, spotted with glowing mushrooms. |
He almost didn't hear Wyll come back. |
But he did hear it, something moving through the woods. And his eyes were still better than a human's in the dark. He watched Wyll struggle around trees and roots, stumbling occasionally. He'd picked up a pack, with at least one bedroll strapped to it. It made Astarion want to laugh but he wasn't sure how well that would fit with this part he was playing. |
So he choked it down and tried to get his face right before Wyll staggered close enough to see it. |
He was still struggling when Wyll appeared beside him and took his hand. He startled, but he managed to get a smile on his face quickly enough. |
"There you are darling, I was beginning to think I’d scared you off." |
Wyll's smile came out unsure. "We've faced worse things on this adventure then misunderstandings and a few harsh words." |
"The wine, for one." |
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