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"No murder thoughts! Not a single one!" Tav claimed in the distance.
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"I hope you have at least one murder thought to kill Gortash, soldier," Karlach said.
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"One murder thought!" Tav corrected themselves, pulling up a single finger.
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Jaheira sighed and stood up, leaving Shadowheart alone with Lae’zel’s barely alive form, not without first squeezing the cleric’s shoulder in a reassuring manner.
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"I’m going to help with dinner. Will you be alright?" She asked.
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"Yeah. Yes, thank you, Jaheira."
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"It’s nothing. Oh, and one more thing," the druid said before going away, "I now understand why you asked for some earplugs."
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(Jaheira also snored. Honestly, Shadowheart couldn’t be bothered at that point. Not when almost everyone else there also snored.)
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Shadowheart had been casting every healing spell in her repertoire since they had placed Lae’zel down in her bed. She would have started sooner, but Wyll insisted on first bringing the githyanki to safety.
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And he was right. Lae’zel had no visible injuries, no cuts or bruises. Her sleep seemed more like a stasis, her chest rising and falling softly, no snores coming from her either. What Orin had done to her was a mystery, but Shadowheart wouldn’t go away until she woke up.
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No way she was going to leave her side.
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Just as once Lae’zel had suggested, Shadowheart slept next to her that night.
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This time she purposefully hugged the githyanki as healing energy spilled from her fingers.
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She was too tired to go out the next day, so Tav insisted in letting her stay with Lae’zel.
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Shadowheart kept healing as she slept.
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"...heart. Pa'vrylk!"
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"Shadowheeart, I’m fine! Stop it already!" She felt the hands shaking her, trying to wake her up.
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She knew those hands. She knew that voice.
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Shadowheart sprung up and threw her arms around Lae’zel, keeping her as close as possible, burying her face in her chest.
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"You are fine! You are fine, you are fine, you are... you are fine," she felt Lae’zel’s own arms tentatively reaching to return the hug.
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"I was just asleep, my ghustil."
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"But you didn’t wake up."
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"Chk, I was tired."
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"The great Lae’zel? Tired?"
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(No, Shadowheart couldn’t resist.)
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"Oh, shut up."
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"You could shut me up," Shadowheart said with a small laugh.
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"I would if you stopped hugging me so tightly," Lae’zel groaned.
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"Who’s the weakling now?" Shadowheart looked up towards the githyanki, who, yes, was very flustered.
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(She was only hugging Lae’zel that tightly because she had made herself dizzy by straightening up so suddenly. She wouldn’t admit it, though.)
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And it was a no-brainer, really. Shadowheart pushed up, just a little bit, and closed the distance to Lae’zel’s lips.
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I Once Met a Wizard in Tammar and Other Goblin Poems: A Collection by Booyahg Piddle. Tav scrapes their thumbnail against the corner of the page, flaking off what appeared to be a dollop of dried blood. What the book lacked in substance, it more than made up for in character. The page makes an uncharacteristic crunch as they turn it over and they make a conscious effort to put whatever fluid would allow parchment to make that kind of noise far from their mind. A rather entertaining find from their last visit to the surface, all things considered. One that keeps them occupied as they lounge against a pile of pillows, legs thrown across their lover’s lap. The soft caress of Astarion’s thumb against their ankle soothes Tav as they focus on the there and gone brush of it, mind blissfully blank. It’s comforting enough to distract them from their task and they soon realize they’ve lost their place, not recognizing any of the words laid out on the page before them. With a soft sigh and a shake of their head, they drag their eyes away from their book and over to the source of their distraction. Astarion seems to be lost in thought, eyebrows knit together as he stares off into the distance. The dim candle light flickers and dances across his features, casting the contours of his face in soft shadow. Tav reaches a hand out, giving his forearm a gentle squeeze.
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"Something bothering you, Star?" Tav questions, eyebrows pitching up in concern. Ever since they’d shed their tadpoles and returned to the Underdark, they’d found themselves with some much needed downtime. The constant threat of ceremorphosis looming over their heads hadn’t allowed for many moments of relaxation and the ones they did get were few and far between, a fact they’d promised to rectify now that they were finally free of the parasites. Maybe Astarion was beginning to grow restless, itching to find a lead on the means to walk freely in the sun again. Or perhaps he'd grown tired of being the de facto leader of the spawn that had made their way down here with them. It wasn’t easy work after all, even with Tav's help. Astarion stirred underneath them, resting his hand over theirs in acknowledgment as he met their gaze.
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"Hm? Oh, no..." Astarion gives their hand a reassuring squeeze, thumb tracing patterns over their knuckles. "It’s just..." A sharp fang pokes out over his bottom lip, worrying the soft skin there as he searches for the words he wants to say. "Well- I’ve been thinking." Tav marks their place in the book with their thumb before shutting the cover, devoting their full attention to the man in front of them. Astarion notices this, flustering a bit under their unwavering stare before steeling himself with a roll of his shoulders. "Right- You know how grateful I am that you let me... indulge in your neck from time to time, yes?"
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Tav chuckles, bringing their entwined hands up to their mouth to press a kiss against the soft skin of his knuckles. "Of course, love. I’m more than happy for you to sneak into my bedroll whenever you please." Astarions lips part with a contented sigh before his gaze falls from their lips to his lap, finding a loose thread to pick at there.
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"Well that’s just it darling. I was wondering if you would be amenable to... staying awake this time." Astarion looks up at them through his lashes, their shadows stretched across his cheeks in the dim orange glow of the room. Soft curls fall over his brow as he tilts his head, an attempt at playing coy. As if Tav needed any persuading at all.
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"Oh, I suppose I could be amenable." A grin tugs at the corner of Tav's lips. "Can I ask what brought this on?"
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"I..." The question makes Astarion bristle a bit, clearly caught off guard. "The last time you let me feed on you while you were awake, we weren’t nearly as close as we are now. Yet you still seemed to... enjoy yourself." Astarion meets Tav's gaze, seeking confirmation on something they’re certain he already knew to be true. The comment he’d made about Tavs shakes of excitement wouldn’t be something they’d soon forget. They nod their assent in spite of this, encouraging Astarion to continue with a fond smile and a tilt of their head.
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"I just thought it might be a chance for us to be more... intimate. After everything. I’d like that with you." Astarion clears his throat, the vulnerability of the words tripping him up. "I know we’ve been easing back into physical intimacy as of late-" Astarion cuts himself off, caught between expressing his desire and remaining unpresumptuous. "Which isn’t to say that this potential encounter even has to head in that direction, necessarily!" The furrow of his brow creases divots of worry into his skin. Tav has the urge to reach out and smooth them over with the pad of their thumb.
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"Astarion." The deep timbre of Tav's voice seems to mollify Astarion well enough, whose shoulders immediately untense. A sigh of relief rushes past his lips, grateful his rambling had been brought to an abrupt end.
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"Yes, love?" The look Astarion gives them could almost be considered sheepish, if Tav didn’t know him any better.
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"I’d like that."
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"Oh thank the Gods."
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"Can I kiss you?" Tav asks, reaching a hand up to brush Astarions soft curls back behind his ear. Their fingers tangle themselves there, nails gentle scratching at his scalp. Astarion parts his lips to reply but all that comes out is a low, satisfied murmur. The weight against their palm grows heavier as Astarion leans into it with a nod. Tav cups Astarions cheek with their other hand, thumb catching on his bottom lip as it brushes against it. With a soft hum Tav leans in close, pressing their lips against the corner of Astarions mouth.
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"Tease." Astarion whispers, tilting his head to ghost the words against Tav's skin. The soft brush of his lips catch on Tavs, slotting together as they lean further into the kiss. Astarion makes a pleased noise against Tavs mouth, the sound vibrating across their sensitive skin. They glide their tongue over the seam of his lips in response, hoping to pry the noise free so they might feel the rumble of it in their chest instead.
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Astarion meets the gentle exploration of tongue with his own, guiding Tavs between his lips with a soft suck. Fabric shifts under Astarions wandering hand, drifting between Tavs hip and the dip of their lower back. Gooseflesh breaks out across their skin when Astarions thumb slips under the hem of their shirt, brushing over their hip bone.
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"How do you want me?" Tav mutters between kisses, words trapped between the press of their lips.
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"Oh!" Astarion leans back, wide eyes slowly blinking away his surprise. "You- Right now?"
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"Unless you don’t want to. We can leave it as an open invitation, come back to it another time." Tav is quick to reassure him, pressing another chaste kiss against the corner of his mouth.
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"No I- I think I’d like that... if it’s quite alright with you." Astarion mumbles, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Tav sweeps their thumb over his cheekbone, brushing their lips over the skin trapped under Astarions fang in a silent plea for its release.
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"Whatever you want." Tav speaks with as much conviction as their close proximity allows, feeling the words pass over Astarions lips as much as hearing them. Astarions eyes soften, breath catching in his chest. Not that he needs to breathe, Tav had come to find out.
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Inhale. Exhale. The weight of their lover against their back lulled them into that blissful place between rest and wakefulness. Astarions arm was draped over their middle, cool lips on the back of their neck. The hair on their nape rustled with every matched exhale, their bodies moving in sync. Perhaps it was the proximity that made them so forward. The only explanation really, for the graceless lack of subtlety their statement posed.
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"I thought vampires didn’t need to breathe."
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Astarion tensed behind them, movement halted the moment the words left Tav's lips. The quiet serenity of the moment shattered around them, the breath against the back of their neck noticeably absent. "They don’t."
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Tav turned over in their lover's arms, careful to move in a way that didn’t fully dislodge his arm from its place on their waist. They weren’t going anywhere unless Astarion willed it, they just needed to see his face. When they met his gaze Astarions eyes were cold and closed off in a way that Tav knew meant they’d misstepped, the carefully navigated depths of the man in front of them crumbling out from beneath their feet. "Forget I said anything. You don’t owe me any sort of explanation."
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Perhaps it was the assurance that Tav didn’t expect any answers from him. Perhaps it was their tone that all but proved that to be true. The bricks Astarion had begun piling up in a desperate attempt to close himself off crumbled around them all the same, leaving them clinging to each other in the rubble that remained.
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"When I was turned... it started off as a bad habit. When you’re alive you don’t think about breathing, your body just... knows what it has to do to survive." Astarion placed a palm flat against Tavs chest, letting the rise and fall of it guide his hand. "You might figure that on that same note, your body would realize when it didn’t need to survive... anymore." Astarion increased the pressure of his palm, the weight of it prompting Tav to hold their breath. Red eyes met theirs, waiting. Tav pulled a shaky breath back into their lungs. "It doesn’t."
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"So it’s... an instinct. Something left over from when you were human." Tav offered, grateful for every word Astarion chose to share with them. A flash of loathing passed over Astarions gaze and Tav knew enough by now to determine that it wasn’t directed at them.
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"Is it not the instinct of a wolf to bite?" Astarion smiled, a glint of sharp fang. It didn’t reach his eyes. A performance, then. "Even the wolf can be taught to keep their teeth away from the hands of their masters." Astarion shook his head, contempt curling his lip back into a sneer. "When Cazador learned of this... quirk, he was none too pleased. That reminder of who or what I used to be before him, no matter how small, had no place in the world he’d created for me. It was unacceptable to him and he’d sought to correct it. By any means necessary." Tav placed their hand on top of Astarion’s, pressing them harder against their chest.
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"Perhaps that’s why..." Astarions gaze fell away from theirs, focused on the place their hands joined together instead. "I fought so hard to never let it go." The tone of his voice wavered, thick with emotion, and Tav's heart ached for him. "Cazador knew how to break people down. Knew how to take bits and pieces of someone until they found they had nothing left to give. Then he’d find a way to take more. I’d never dream of letting slip that I had something I’d managed to hold onto." Astarion cleared his throat, steeling himself before continuing. "On the nights I found myself licking the wounds he gave me with nothing but cobwebs and cobblestone to keep me company, it... helped. The steady rise and fall of my chest became a comfort to me. It did little to soothe the sting, but it was something. Something he couldn’t take from me." Astarions eyes met theirs once more, wet with stubborn tears that refused to spill.
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"Thank you. For telling me." Tav brought their palm up to press against Astarions chest, mirroring the palm on their own. A shaky exhale fell from Astarions lips, air that rushed to fill the vacant space beneath Tavs ribs, swelling there.
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"I didn’t even realize I was doing it." Astarion admitted, softly. The weight of what that meant wasn’t lost on either of them.
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Tav's face softens and Astarion flusters under the steadfast affection in their eyes. "You- lay back... on the pillows." He averts his gaze, clearing his throat softly and gesturing to the pile of pillows they’d previously cocooned themselves with.
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Tav props themself up against the pillows, making themself comfortable against the plush fabric. Astarion knees over to their side, keeping an almost clinical amount of distance between the two of them. Tav snorts, shaking their head. "Love."
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"You don’t have to worry about waking me up. You can get as close as you want." Tav gestures to the space between their bodies, an amused grin tugging at their lips.
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"Right! Yes, that was the point, wasn’t it." Astarion mumbles, assessing the distance before shuffling a bit closer with a nervous laugh. The tops of his knees brush against Tav's outer thigh, similar to the position they took up the first night Astarion had asked to drink from them. Better, but still lacking the intimacy Astarion had asked for.
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"Might I make a suggestion?" Tav tilts their head and Astarion makes a flippant gesture with his wrist, the "go ahead’ unsaid but stated plainly in his expression. Tav places a hand on his hip, sliding it down to the back of his thigh. The fabric shifts under their grip as they squeeze at the muscle, lifting it over their leg so Astarion is straddling the thigh his knees had previously been pressed up against. Tav's thumbs find the creases where thigh meets groin, slotting them there as they pull Astarion’s hips forward. "Is this okay?"
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"Yes! That’s... much better." Astarion fists the fabric of Tavs shirt, avoiding their gaze.
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"Hey." Tav kneads Astarions hips, who hums his acknowledgement without looking up. "Everything alright?"
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"Well yes, it’s just..." Astarion sighs, worrying the fabric between his fingers. "What if you don’t like it this time?" The words trail off into a mumble, his chin tucked against his chest.
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"Then I would tell you. Just like I hope you would tell me if I was doing something you didn’t like. But Star?" Tav pauses, waiting for Astarion to meet their eyes. When he finally does, Tav gives him a coquettish smile. "I think of the first time you bit me often."
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"You... do?" Astarion falters, head jutting back in surprise. Tav nods, reaching a hand up to toy with the string of Astarions shirt before wrapping it around their finger. Astarion’s confidence returns to him in a surge, chest puffing ostentatiously. "Of course you do!" Astarion preens under their attention, chin upturned as he looks down at his lover through half lidded eyes. "What is it, exactly, that you think about?" The tone is familiar, one he uses when he’s angling for flattery. They hum, eyes carving a slow path down their lovers postured frame in a way that makes him shiver.
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"Hm... I think about how you felt on top of me." Tav glides their palms over Astarions ribs, fanning their fingers out to wrap around his sides. Their gaze travels down to his mouth, focused. "How your teeth felt buried in my neck while your tongue laved my skin." Astarions lips part around a sharp exhale, body going taut.
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"I think about how arousal pooled in my abdomen and pleasure burst in my chest." The black of Astarions pupils have all but swallowed the red of his irises. Tension bleeds into the air around them, thick and heavy. Astarion hangs on to every word with rapt attention. "I think about how my body longed to feel the drag of your hips against mine." Fingertips catch on delicate fabric as their hands skim down to rest on Astarions hips, his body trembling against their palms. "I think about how beautiful you looked when you pulled away. How I left your lips stained a red so pretty it rivaled the rings of your eyes."
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Astarion presses closer, body shifting to lean further into Tavs space. "Keep going..." The whispered demand rushes from Astarion in a desperate exhale, ghosting over Tav's lips. They’d only need to tilt their chin to meet the firm press of their lover's mouth.
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"I think about all of this late at night when I’m on my own, a battle lost to lust as my hips rock forward to meet my hand and my body yields to pleasure." A groan spills from Astarion’s lips, his forehead meeting Tav’s with a gentle thud. "I think about how you’d react if you chanced upon me in those moments of weakness, looking for a meal. I’d wondered if you’d let me continue while you fed... If you’d pull back to press your lips against mine so I could taste myself there while I shook apart against my palm." Astarion nods along with the words flowing from Tav’s lips, completely enraptured. Tav tilts their chin, brushing their mouth against Astarion’s in a fleeting caress. A soft sigh of pleasure parts their lips, glancing off of their lover’s skin.
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Astarion’s lips collide with Tav’s in a frantic show of urgency, a clash of tongues and teeth. Tav groans as their mouth is pried apart by Astarion’s eager exploration. Astarion’s hips press down against Tav’s thigh in his haste to get closer, trapping his hard length there. A gasp hitches in his chest and Tav nips at the skin of his bottom lip, peppering soft kisses around his mouth and against the side of his chin.
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Tav moves their hand up to cradle the back of Astarion’s head, fingers threading through the silky strands of his hair. Fingertips dig in, massaging his scalp as they guide his face to the side of their neck. Astarion’s lips part as he drags in heaving breaths against Tav’s warm skin, scenting them. Hair tickles the underside of their chin. Tav can feel their pulse beat against Astarion’s lips as he lets out a whine, tongue darting out to wet the skin there. The blunt anterior of his fangs prod at the sensitive skin of their neck without drawing blood, overeager in his pursuit, and Tav’s hips rock forward with a pleased sigh.
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"So patient... so good for me." Tav tilts their neck to the side, further into Astarion’s waiting mouth. Their hands fall to Astarion’s hips, rubbing small circles with their thumbs against the bones protruding there. "I want you to let go for me, love. I want you so drunk on pleasure you can’t even fathom thinking of anything else. Can you do that for me?" Astarion nods, shaky exhales cool against Tav’s heated skin. "Use your words."
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Astarion shudders, hips fucking forward against Tav’s thigh. "Yes. Yes... I can." The fabric of Tav’s shirt is pulled taut, clutched in Astarion’s fists. Tav lets out a pleased hum.
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The instant the word is spoken Astarion’s fangs sink into their skin, flesh giving way as warm pulses of blood flow into his waiting mouth. Astarion groans, sending vibrations against Tav’s skin as he pulls in mouthful after mouthful. The steady stream of blood is aided by Astarion’s tongue working against the muscle. Tav lets out a shaky sigh, fingers flexing on Astarion’s sides. "Fuck... that’s it. Take what you need." Their voice is hoarse, rough with arousal. Astarion whines, rolling his hips forward against the bulk of Tav’s thigh in a short aborted thrust.
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Astarion pulls his fangs from their skin, brushing his lips across the puncture wound and smearing their skin with a stroke of vibrant red. The blood flows from the wound sluggishly, rolling down Tav’s neck at a languid pace. The warm liquid heats their skin, the bead of blood trailing across Tav’s freckles like a comet amidst stars.
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Astarion’s lips are parted, eyes hazy and unfocused. Blood is smeared around Astarion’s mouth, dripping down his chin. It’s completely undignified. It’s absolutely arresting. Tav’s breath hitches in their chest. They tilt their head, forcing more blood to surge from the wounds in their neck. Astarion’s pupils dilate, locking onto the movement.
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Before Tav even has time to register the motion, Astarion is back on their neck. Unlike before, he keeps his fangs away. Soft presses of tongue prod at the slits those sharp teeth had left behind instead, laving the bloodied skin. Tav hums, eyes fluttering shut.
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A dull throb surges through the muscle of their throat when Astarion pulls their skin between his lips, sucking a bruise in the space between the punctures. Tav groans, hips arching forward at the sensation. Astarion’s cock drags against their thigh through the layers of fabric and a gasp tumbles from his lips, unlatching him from Tav’s neck with a wet pop.
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"Hah..." Astarion looks up at Tav through his lashes, eyes half lidded and chest heaving. The blood he’s taken in has left his cheeks flushed a brilliant red.
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"Hedonism is a good look on you." Tav drags their thumb over the apple of Astarion’s cheek. "Your cheeks are flushed so prettily for me." Warmth radiates against their palm, a striking contrast to the usual chill that possessed his marble-esque skin. Tav tilts their head down to press the corner of their mouth against Astarion’s cheek, guiding him into their touch.
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"How far do you think I could get that rosy flush to spread under the drag of my teeth?" Their lips ghost their words over his blood flushed skin before they pull back to meet their lover’s gaze. Astarion leans his weight into the hand cradling his face, soft pants of breath parting his lips enough for glistening fangs to peek through. Heat curls in Tav’s abdomen as Astarion fucks himself forward against their thigh, hips rolling with tremulous repetition.
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Thick rivulets of blood cling to the stained skin of Astarion’s bottom lip, glistening in the dim glow of the candlelight. Tav sweeps the pad of their thumb over them, smearing thick streaks of red over Astarion’s mouth and collecting it on the tip of their finger. Astarion shudders, letting the drag of Tav’s thumb guide his lips apart. A low moan vibrates against Tav’s skin when they push the crimson slicked digit into Astarion’s waiting mouth. Their lover latches onto it greedily, bringing his hands up to wrap around Tav’s forearm as he sucks the blood from their skin.
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Astarion whines when the skin is sucked clean, brows furrowed. Tav hooks their thumb over his bottom row of teeth and grabs underneath his chin with their middle and pointer fingers, tilting Astarion’s head up until he meets their eyes.
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"I could watch the sun caress the sea a thousand times over and it would never once match the brilliance of your gaze." The soft orange candle light flickers against Astarion’s iris’, illuminating them a lustrous amber. How lucky they were to be suspended there, in the reflection of his gaze. "Beautiful."
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All of the breath in Astarion’s lungs leaves him in a shaky exhale, lips parting even further as a choked moan tumbles from him. The drag of his hips stutter against Tav’s thigh as his eyes dart between theirs, pupils blown wide. Tav releases their hold on Astarion’s chin, sweeping the pad of their thumb over his bottom row of dull teeth. Then, up over one of his fangs.
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Astarion’s eyes widen, deep pools of black shrouding circlets of scarlet.
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Tav slowly applies pressure on the pad of their thumb, testing the resistance of their skin. Astarion keeps his mouth agape, exhaling harshly through his nose. With a final press the fang bursts through the skin and a droplet of blood beads up at the surface, surrounding the sharp point of the tooth. Astarion is shaking with the intensity of his anticipation, body wound tight. Saliva pools on his tongue.
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Tav drags the pad of their thumb over Astarion’s slick tongue, pressing against the muscle and sweeping the blood across it. Astarion relaxes his tongue, making a point not to swallow. The spit soaked muscle is held firm under Tav’s thumb, trapped. Tav leans in closer, their bottom lip caught between their teeth.
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Astarion’s lips wrap around the digit with a groan, sucking as much blood from it as the shallow wound will allow. The wet heat of Astarion’s tongue curls around Tav’s thumb, hips rocking forward to meet their thigh. Tav’s other hand falls to Astarion’s hip, guiding the jolted thrusts into a more continuous roll.
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"Ah!" Astarion gasps, eyes rolling back into his head at the relentless friction. Muffled noises of pleasure fall from Astarion’s lips as he drops Tav’s hand to bury his face against their neck, lapping up the remnants of blood that had pooled in the dip of their collarbone. Tav buries their hand in the hair at the nape of Astarion’s neck, scratching at his scalp.
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The heat of Astarion’s cock seeps through the layers of fabric as he works himself against Tav’s thigh, mouth hanging open as he pants against their throat.
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"Oh, look at how hard you are for me." Tav angles their thigh up further, applying more pressure to Astarion’s groin. Every shift forward pulls the fabric of his pants tight over his cock, revealing just how stiff Astarion is in their confines. "Did you drink enough of me, my love?"
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"Mmmhm..." Astarion hums, nodding his head against Tav’s neck.
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