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I sit at the vanity, mechanically brushing my hair. Each stroke feels monotonous and repetitive as if I'm operating on autopilot. I glance at the vase of black roses that has mysteriously appeared on my dressing table. A courtesy of Eirhart, no doubt. The same Eirhart who moves through his duties like a somnambulist, a...
"Björn should be back by now," I murmur, the words barely more than a whisper, a thin wisp of sound that evaporates in the hollow space of the room. I lock eyes with my reflection, trying to muster even a flicker of emotion, some vestige of the vibrant being I used to be. "He's just caught up, that's all. Entangled in ...
But the mirror remains unyielding, revealing nothing but a barren visage, a pallid echo of the person I once was. My eyes are hollow chasms, sucking in light and hope, rendering them nonexistent. My skin looks almost translucent as if I'm fading away, dissipating into the unbearable emptiness that engulfs me. The cruel...
The air grows thick and heavy, like a suffocating fog, each particle-laden with the absence of him. It's as if the room itself is holding its breath, waiting for the moment I shatter, the moment I crumble under the weight of this agonizing void. Each tick of the ornate clock on the wall hammers into me like a nail into...
I tear my eyes away from the glass, unable to stomach the vacant look that stains my features. My gaze falls upon the black roses once more—those harbingers of eternal sleep. Even they seem to bow under the weight of my grief, their petals a dark, velvety epitaph to the life that used to animate this space.
And so I linger, a ghost haunting its own existence, suspended in a cruel limbo between a reality I cannot bear to accept and a delusion that grows more brittle with each passing second. I am nothing but a shell, a hollowed-out relic that echoes with a resounding emptiness, a cataclysmic silence that drowns out even th...
I rise from the vanity, each movement an exercise in defiance against the natural laws that tether me to this earth. My limbs are leaden, weighted down by an existential gravity that sucks the vitality from my very marrow. When I make it to the window, the latch seems almost too complex to operate. But I manage, and th...
Below me, people move in intricate patterns, a dance of life that seems to mock my own static existence. Their laughter rises, and their chatter ebbs and flows, a cacophony that should mean something but doesn't. They're mere specks, ants in a cosmic maze, blissfully ignorant of the cataclysmic void that has rented my ...
Vladimir has been notably absent, his usual charismatic presence replaced by a vacuum almost as oppressive as the one in my chest. He orchestrated the funeral—a grim, punctuated affair that I couldn't bring myself to attend. To be there would be to verify what I refuse to accept. To hear his name spoken in the past ten...
Returning to my seat, my eyes latch onto the black roses once more. Their velvety petals are drenched in a hue so dark it almost absorbs the light around it—a black hole in botanical form. In my seemingly endless life, I'll witness the birth and death of civilizations, watch empires rise and fall, and see friends both ...
"He'll be back," the words come out like a breathless prayer, a desperate mantra I cling to like a raft in a sea of infinite darkness. "Any moment now, he'll walk through that door, eyes twinkling, and announce it was all a grandiose joke. A prank of epic proportions."
"He will laugh. He will smile," I murmur, my voice barely rising above a whisper, as if the softness of my utterance could shield me from the searing intensity of the reality I'm avoiding. "His laughter, like a warm melody, should be filling this room, filling the gaping holes within me."
The silence in return is almost spiteful, punctuated only by the soft thud of my own heartbeat, as if mocking me for the tears that are perilously close but never fall. They scald the back of my eyes, a burning testament to the feelings I dare not release.
"I can still smell him—cedar and spice, a scent that fills the room but is never cloying. I can still hear him—his voice imbued with a blend of corny flirtation and earnest chivalry, the adorable contradiction that he was. So determined to be a gentleman, even when his inner nerd always won out in the end."
Breathing becomes a Herculean effort, every inhalation dragging like jagged shards through my chest. "He was only 73—a mere blip in the timeline of my existence but bursting with so much life, so much youthful exuberance."
Deep down, an unsettling realization gnaws at me. A biting, bitter truth that I can't keep at bay any longer. The room will remain this quiet, this agonizingly empty, a yawning void echoing only with the haunting reverberations of a life interrupted, a story with chapters left unwritten.
"Why didn't we do more? Why didn't I...?" The question trails off, a silent indictment hanging heavy in the air, choking me with its implications. The unspoken regrets, the missed opportunities, the "could-haves" and "should-haves" that will now forever remain in the realm of impossibility.
And so, I remain ensconced in my fortress of numbness, a sanctuary where every tick of the clock becomes an act of both agony and reprieve. I'm paralyzed, the weight of Björn's absence pressing down on me like a relentless, crushing force—a massive, incomprehensible black hole that devours all light, all feeling.
Because to acknowledge—to truly feel—would mean to confront the unbearable reality that Björn is forever gone. And that this massive, incalculable emptiness is now the lens through which I must view my endless existence.
At first, the castle seems to function as an echo chamber for my soul, amplifying the hollowness within. The walls that once reverberated with laughter and whispered secrets now seem to absorb sound as though reluctant to disturb the grim tranquility. I drift through the daily responsibilities that come with my station...
In this macabre theatre of life, my chambers serve as the wings, a hidden sanctuary that only amplifies the sting of Björn's absence. It's like walking into a room that's had its heart ripped out—the stillness is oppressive as if the air itself mourns his passing. His shirt still lies on the chair where he left it, as ...
As I move through the castle, trying to outrun my feelings, I notice a vase filled with black roses situated on a table in the hall—an aesthetic choice by Eirhart, who, despite his mindless drifting through an array of chores, seems to have picked up on my emotional disarray without fully understanding it. A latent rag...
A meeting with Vladimir in the grand hall has the emotional tension stretched to a breaking point. It's been a decade—ten grueling years since Björn left this world, and the suppressed agony within me has calcified into a brittle core, waiting to shatter. Vladimir lost in the fineries of the upcoming ball we're plannin...
"And what about the decorations?" he asks, his eyes meeting mine momentarily before descending back to the parchment. "Black roses, perhaps? They've always been a delightful staple, haven't they?"
The room appears to contract, the walls closing in as if trying to compress the whirlwind of emotions I've been wrestling with. In that instant, every repressed feeling, every untamed torrent of anger, sadness, and bitterness I've tucked away, manifests as a raw, visceral force. It's as if he's pulled the pin on a gren...
"Black roses?" My voice trembles, not with fear, but with unleashed fury, my eyes aflame with a decade's worth of suppressed rage. "You dare to suggest black roses? Do you take me for a masochist? To revel in the very symbol of my deepest anguish, of the love I've lost, of the gaping void in my life that's as dark as t...
The words spill out, a torrential downpour of raw emotion, and I can't—won't—restrain myself. "You think a ball will mend the fractures in my soul? Do you know what it's like to live each day as a monument to someone who's gone? To be haunted by the ghosts of memories so vivid they might as well be standing next to you...
Vladimir looks at me, and for the first time, I see something unsettlingly close to concern in those ancient, inscrutable eyes. "Arkhane—"
"Don't," I cut him off, a snarl escaping my lips. "Don't you dare try to placate me with empty words and hollow comforts? You, who have lived for centuries, must understand the unbearable weight of loss. But you will not understand my loss. Because I am not you. I will not bottle it up and store it on some dusty shelf ...
In that volatile moment, the boundaries blur—the line between mentor and mentee, between parent and child. "I refuse to romanticize my pain," I hiss, my eyes locking onto his, "and I won't allow you or anyone else to make a spectacle of it. If you understand anything about me, you'll drop this insidious idea of using b...
Vladimir sighs deeply, his eyes meeting mine with an almost unbearable weightiness. It's an unnerving silence that follows—both of us locked in a stalemate of raw emotion and unspoken truths. And then he does something that neither of us expected: he rises from his chair, strides over to where I'm standing, and pulls m...
It's a jarring gesture, both tender and aggressive, and I freeze momentarily in his arms. There's an intensity to his grasp that signals his genuine fear—a fear of losing me to the cavernous depths of my own torment. It's almost parental, this concern, and it knocks the wind out of me, stripping away the last shreds of...
"We may never "get over" the death of someone precious," he whispers, his words tinged with an urgency that vibrates through me, "but we can learn to live again while keeping their memories close to us. So find something, Arkhane, to keep his memory alive. Before, I lost my adopted daughter to the abyss in her heart as...
His words crash into me, reverberating through every fiber of my being, and the dam bursts—the dam I'd so meticulously constructed to contain my grief. My breath catches in my throat, and for the first time in a long time, tears threaten to spill over, this time not of anger but of some untapped reservoir of sorrow and...
"Yes," I hear myself saying, the anger draining from me as suddenly as it had erupted, leaving behind a new space to be filled with something else—something I haven't yet identified. "Perhaps we could find a way to honor his memory at the ball. Though... maybe with some other flowers as well... so it's not just... him....
The atmosphere shifts perceptibly as Vladimir releases me from the embrace, taking a step back to allow us both to reclaim our composure. His eyes lock onto mine as he poses the question. "So, black roses are fine? Even if they might wilt in a single night?"
The question hovers in the air between us, dense and fraught with meaning. And for a moment, I consider deflecting, retreating back into the armor of my own defensiveness. But instead, I find the courage to confront the question and all that it implies.
"So did he," I say softly, embracing the painful truth that hangs in the air.
Vladimir's eyes meet mine, and for a fleeting moment, there's an understanding—a silent acknowledgment of the complex tapestry of loss and love, vulnerability and strength that binds us.
"Yes," he agrees solemnly, "so he did."
Oh, the tension of this place, the electric buzz that fills the air of my private sanctuary. My library is usually a realm of solace, filled with shadow and the soft glow of flickering candles. But tonight? Tonight, it's a prison for my mounting unrest. I pace the lavish rug underneath my desk, my mind a whirlpool of c...
It's like a nagging hex that won't let go—disrupting the sublime balance I usually keep between my external allure and the internal tempest that is my essence. My nails dig into the velvet fabric of my gown, the lush material mocking my inner turmoil. Each tick of the invisible clock is a scratch on the surface of my t...
I've loved precisely two individuals during my lengthy existence—Eirhart, my ever-present dark shadow, and Björn, cruelly ripped away by fate's capricious claws. Losing one almost obliterated me, hurling me into an abyss of darkness and sorrow that I'm still clawing my way out of. Losing Eirhart now? Unthinkable. It'd ...
Could it be Vladimir, finally moving from veiled threats to action? The bastard knows too much, and the idea that he's clocked onto how important Eirhart is to me? It gnaws at me like a necrotic spell.
My eyes keep swinging back to the door, each glance making it seem as if it's elongating, stretching farther and farther away from me—a looming sentinel carved from dark wood. What's behind it? Emptiness? An Eirhart changed in ways my mind can't even conjure? I'm paralyzed, torn between wanting to know and dreading the...
My hand involuntarily reaches for my chest, hovering over my heart as if to keep it from bursting out from sheer, frantic rhythm. Just when I think I might break, the subtlest rustle breaks the silence from the other side of the door. My breath stalls. The handle turns, guided by some unseen hand, and for a fleeting mo...
It must be him. It has to be.
The seconds elongate, pulling and stretching like taffy until they're unrecognizable. The door creaks open, and there he is. Eirhart. My heart, my constant, my walking experiment, my dark muse. A flood of relief surges through me, so palpable it nearly chokes me, but then our eyes lock.
Something's different. Something's—oh gods, what's happened?
The moment was electric, a cataclysmic confluence of old magic and raw emotion. My eyes, so accustomed to locking onto his inert gaze, now found themselves captured by something profoundly different—alive, sentient, shimmering with an elusive, haunting allure. The eyes that looked back at me were a Pandora's box of fre...
"Eirhart," I practically cooed, leaning in as if to share a secret yet still maintaining that seductive, eye-to-eye contact. "You've finally decided to show up to the party. The library's been nothing short of apocalyptic without you, a veritable wasteland. As for the dust, darling—don't get me started. A travesty."
His eyes, once a reliable canvas of stillness, now played host to a kaleidoscope of emotions. Confusion danced with something darker, an unnamable urgency. "I'm sorry," he murmured, glancing around, his eyes losing their focus for a moment. "Could you remind me who you are?"
The words sliced through me, each syllable a razor-sharp claw shredding my very soul. Anguish and panic fought for dominion, each vying to devour me whole. But then it hit me. His voice! The dulcet baritone that echoed in the hollow chamber was something I'd never heard. A voice never used, now unfurling its timbre for...
In a giddy rush of elation and unchecked energy, my hand lunged for his forehead, smacking it far harder than I'd intended. It was as if all my pent-up excitement, all my hopes and fears, had crystallized into this singular, overwhelming gesture. My eyes bore into his, scanning for any sign of magical residue or feveri...
"You may call me Arkhane," I snapped, each word dripping with a venomous blend of contempt and anxiety, a stark contrast to the thrilling elation that had seized me moments ago. "A name I'd expect you to remember."
I touched his face, then his arms, my fingers tracing contours in a frantic search for even the faintest trace of magical interference. And found nothing. No arcane currents, no shimmers of lingering spells. The terrifying conclusion began to solidify in the pits of my stomach, intertwining with tendrils of an old, nea...
And so there I stood, on the precipice of an abyss I could neither fathom nor escape. A chasm filled not just with the magic I'd wielded for lifetimes but with raw, incalculable emotion. The man before me was both an old enigma and a new mystery, bound together in a form I thought I knew but clearly didn't.
The delicious terror of it all was intoxicating. Like a sip of the darkest wine, it filled my senses, reminding me that even for a warlock of my standing, there are things in this twisted universe that remain tantalizingly, agonizingly beyond my reach.
"Eirhart," he muttered, pointing to himself. "I recognize the name Eirhart. Does this belong to me?" His eyes searched mine, desperate for answers I didn't have.
Ah, the intoxicating blend of victory and fulfillment sings through my veins. The man—no, the *zombie*—before me finally regains a flicker of consciousness, a glint of awareness. It's almost too delectable to fathom. I've resuscitated the heart I've been aching to reach, the mind clouded by centuries of stagnant fog. E...
But it's not just Eirhart; it's also Björn. My human counterpart from an era long past, the man who broke through the limitations of his mortal coil to stand beside me in arcane pursuits. He'd loved me for my wild spirit, for my intricate darkness, and even for my absurd obsession with Eirhart. Our souls had intermingl...
A grin spreads over my lips, the delicious, mischievous arc of a crescent moon. "Oh, curious that you awoke, isn't it? It seems the talents of Arkhane-Ruinblood aren't quite as "ineffective" as some naysayers would have believed," I coo, drawing upon the esoteric tapestry of my blood magic with the mere prick of a fing...
My eyes dance with a flicker of arcane flame. With a flourish, I will turn my sanguine magic into a kaleidoscope of shapes—a set of bobby pins capped with black dahlias and poppies as dark and enigmatic as my own heart. Without even a whisper of consent, I lean in to thread them through his tousled locks.
"It's your awakening day, darling. Consider it a tribute," I murmur, the words caressing him like the velvety petals of the very flowers I'd conjured. Each bobby pin nestles into his hair as if finding its destined home. My heart swells with a riotous blend of emotions: love, victory, triumph, each sentiment as entangl...
And then, like the final stroke on a canvas—a surrender to a force more potent than my own will—the confession spills from my lips, raw and untamed. "Eirhart, I love you so intensely it's maddening..."
It hangs in the air, this declaration as if etched in the very aether that binds the world. And for a few fragile seconds, a radiant sense of contentment engulfs me, laced with a shot of arrogance and a sprinkle of snark. At last, the chains have been shattered, the words spoken, the feelings laid bare in their tumultu...
Fraygo’s Flophouse is teeming with patrons excitedly celebrating their various exploits and adventures. It’s loud and you can barely hear Jaheira speaking next to you. You’re both sitting at the bar having a drink. She’s taking refined sips of an aged Mermaid Whiskey and you a glass of Marsember Ice Wine. You’re here c...
Geraldus is sitting in a booth across from the inn with three other Harpers, tipping a stein of Balor ale to his full, smiling lips. The three other Harpers, all men, are ribbing Geraldus about his capture. The half-elf is halfway through his second stein of ale and his cheeks are blushed. He looks adorable, raven blac...
"Tav, if you stared any harder at that boy you may burn a hole through his skull." Jaheira laughs into her glass. You swivel your head back around to her and smile. Geraldus is handsome and his display of bravery was endearing to say the least. You’ve seen countless fearless fighters, soldiers, magic wielders and the l...
"And you’re sure he likes girls? I don’t want to make a fool of myself." You covertly sneak another look at Geraldus and play with a loose strand of hair, twirling it nervously.
Jaheira laughs heartily and slaps your back. "I’m sure. I’ve known him and his mother a long time now. She’s always trying to find him a nice girl to settle down with. The boy is bashful when it comes to the opposite sex and just hasn’t gotten brave enough to approach nor has he taken the hint from the girls his age ar...
"I’m not sure I’m in the market for settling down at the moment, but I think I’d like to get to know him." You say wistfully, gathering the gumption to approach him. "Barkeep, whatever that gentleman is drinking. Send over another stein of it from me will you?" The barkeep nods dutifully and prepares another stein of a...
"Go, now. Talk to him already. See?" Jaheira is lifting the back of your stool to shake you out of it. You slide out and begin to make your way over to Geraldus, nerves flooded with anticipation. He bashfully keeps eye contact with you until you’re standing at his booth.
"Hello, Geraldus." You smile shyly as you hold his stare. His eyes are gorgeous hazel. Deep and expressive. They make you want to melt.
"Oh, Tav is it? H-hello. Did you buy this for me?" Geraldus’ neck is getting red.
"Yes, I wanted to thank you for being so brave and using that code. It was impressive." You smile and look into each of his eyes before flicking yours to his mouth and back to his eyes again. "And I wanted to talk to you too." Geraldus’ fellow Harpers take notice of their friend’s new company and give one another telli...
"Impressive? No, it wasn’t. I’m not brave." Geraldus stammers. "I was frightened, and I almost got Jaheira – and you – hurt or-or worse, killed." He nervously thumbs the rim of his stein, looking shamefully into his drink. "Thank you for the ale though. It hardly feels as if I deserve it honestly." He gives a wry chuck...
"It was – you are – though. Impressive, I mean." You reach out to cover the hand holding the stein handle with your own. Geraldus freezes and you feel the flesh of his hand grow hotter. "It is a really difficult thing to do to be brave in the face of fear. I admired it." Geraldus’ gaze goes from your hands to your face...
"Thank you. That’s really kind of you to say." Geraldus’ chest is swelling at your praise and touch. He’s barely touched a woman before this. He’s always been to nervous, too clueless to their signals. He’s clearly getting this one. "You’re impressive too." Geraldus clears his throat before speaking again. "You’re a be...
"I’m glad you think so, because I was wondering if you wanted to speak some more with me." You slide the outer edge of your boot along the length of his leather armored calve.
The redness of Geraldus’ neck creeps further up until it bleeds into the blush of the rest of his face. "S-speak more? Aren’t we already?" He’s gotten the hint, but he can scarcely believe it’s happening like this. He mostly asks because he wants to make sure this isn’t a dream. That he hasn’t misunderstood your intent...
"Well, yes we are, but we’re hardly alone." You give him a gentle smile and flick your eyes above you. "I have a room. It’s private. Do you want to meet me there in half an hour?" Your hands haven’t separated yet. Geraldus’ grip on the handle of his stein tightens. Geraldus’ eager stare answers before he does.
"Yes. I want to." Geraldus’ eyes are wide and pleading, his breath has quickened. "I’ll go freshen up and I will come to you."
"I’m pleased to hear that. I’ll do the same." You stand to go to your room and begin to withdraw your hand from Geraldus’ and for a moment he doesn’t let you go. "I’ll see you soon." You murmur softly. He releases you. As you ascend the stairs Jaheira gives you an approving nod and raises her glass to you. It makes her...
Once you unlock and walk through the door of your room you begin to freshen up. You take extra care to clean and moisturize your body. It’s been a long time since you’ve slept with someone. You admit you’re not the most focused on such things for the time being, but tonight is special. Geraldus is special. You let down...
Meanwhile, Geraldus fumbles in the bathroom. He doesn’t want to stink like body odor and sweaty armor. You deserve much more than that. He wants to be clean and smell nice when you hold him. He fantasizes about how you’ll smell and feel in his arms. Geraldus has never laid with a woman, much less held one before. He’s ...
Geraldus gently raps his knuckles on your door. You don’t answer right away, and he worries for a moment you changed your mind. Just as he goes to knock a second time you open the door. A waft of amber and musk billows into Geraldus’ face and into the hall. He deflates as he’s enveloped by your scent. His eyes droop cl...
"You smell – You look so pretty, Tav." He sighs. Geraldus’ eye dart over your body, back and forth before he shakes his head. "Can I come in, please?"
"Of course. I invited you after all." You step aside and let him into your room. It’s scantly lit with candles. You took the liberty of putting a few drops of perfume oil on your pillows and drapes. The ambience you’ve conjured has its desire effect on Geraldus and he is entranced as he follows you in. "You can sit on ...
"I’m alright. I’m more than alright. I’m just nervous, I suppose." He grins sheepishly, breaking his gaze from yours.
"I don’t want to make you nervous." You take Geraldus’ hand in yours. His hands are soft with long beautiful fingers. He holds yours tightly and takes a deep breath.
"I’ve never – " He starts. Geraldus is beginning to feel foolish. You feel his nerves and lean into him to place a soft, chaste kiss on his cheek.
"It’s alright. You don’t have to explain." He turns to meet your eyes again. His are pleading and beautiful.
"Can I kiss you?"
"I would like it very much if you did."
Geraldus has kissed before. A girl who sat with him during their school sessions at the camp. Once when they’d stayed behind after a class she’d kissed him. At first it was just one, but soon they became open mouthed kisses that stretched for minutes at a time. They’d only stopped when they were nearly walked up on. He...
Geraldus leans into you and closes his eyes before letting his lips meet yours. They’re plush and soft. You feel him exhale gently through his nose on your face, his breath sweet and warm. You press your lips firmly into his and return it. Geraldus takes his free hand and brings it to your face, cupping your jaw. He pr...
You release Geraldus’ hand and place yours on his chest. You begin to lean forward, pushing him with you. Without breaking the kiss Geraldus follows your lead and draws his legs up onto the mattress, scooting back to lie onto the pillows as you crawl atop him. You pull your robe up and gather it at the front of you, co...
Geraldus breaks away and gulps. "Can I touch you?"
"Please." Your quim reacts to his pleas. The way he asks for every little thing makes your heart soar. You want to bless him for his tenderness. How beautifully he surrenders himself to you, humbly requesting your affections. Geraldus slides his hands down your thighs and slips them under your robe. Your warm skin is e...