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The woman was kind, and she gave her a cross to wear for her birthday even though she didn’t. She also told her that angels looked out for her. |
Astoria got back to the conversation. |
"I didn’t ask for that", she finally said, "I don’t think I would". |
Harry smiled at her. |
"You are good, Tori", his voice sweet like a melody. She shivered. Was there ever someone as kind to her as he was? |
"With whom are you going to the ball?" |
"Parvati Patill", Harry sighed. Clearly this wasn’t his wish. |
"She’s a nice girl", Astoria added, though her words were dry and somehow got lost in the silence. |
At least she could always be silent with him. There was comfort in that. She knew she didn’t excite him the way other girls did. She knew she was too shy, too unusual for him, but she hoped he felt safe with her the way she did with him. Harry was always there. He wasn’t a great friend but was a sincere one. And Astoria felt the same could be said for her as well. |
"Hermione told me she thinks she could be wrong about you", Harry added after a long silence. |
"She might actually be right", Astoria said coldly. "Those boys thought so too". |
"They were in the wrong", his words filled with anger. |
"Dumbledore has requested to speak with me". |
"I’m surprised it took him so long." |
"He once told me he deeply cares for you". |
"Only half of him cares for me. The other half is restricted to himself. You should know he is like that", Astoria said, her tone ice cold. |
"I think he means good". |
"Whatever the definition of good is in his mind, probably, yes", she rolled her eyes. |
"I’ll always be here if you need me", Harry said softly. His chest hurt. That’s the only thing that came to mind. |
Things would be so much easier if she was a Gryffindor. If she spent her nights laughing with him, Ron and Hermione while listening to Fred and George poke fun at someone or tell stories about their glorious pranks. |
They shared almost half of their classes, but he never felt as if she was there with him. There was always a wall that Astoria put between herself and others. He never knew how to tell her that. |
"I’ll always be here if you need me", Astoria repeated his words and smiled at him. |
The boys were instructed to wait for the ladies. Astoria was terrified. What if he finds her unattractive? Such a stupid fear, yet it ate her alive. She was amazed with herself. Since when did she care if Draco Malfoy found her attractive? |
Actually, she really cared. |
Her dress was white with silver lining around the tips of the dress. There was a touch of silver sparkling on her chest and on the lines of the dress. The emphasis of the dress was on the waist where the material perfectly hugged her body. It was a short dress, like he wanted it. |
Her hair was down, curled nicely by magic. It was hard to keep her hair from her eyes as it spilled everywhere around her body, but she could take it as long as it made her look beautiful. And that’s all she wanted to feel tonight. |
Am I pitiful?, she shook her head and headed down the stairs to meet him. |
Draco Malfoy wasn’t looking. Crab and Goyle stood around him like bodyguards. Theodore was there as well. He already had his lady of the night. Pansy, she realized with surprise. |
Draco wore a classic black suit. He wore the color more often now, Astoria weirdly observed. Theodore smiled as he saw her, taking her image in his eyes and then pushed his friend on the shoulder so he would turn. His eyes landed on her and pierced her. |
Draco didn’t react, he didn’t even smile and that hurt her. |
What a fool I am, she bitterly thought trying not to demonstrate her disappointment around Pansy who was already looking at her up and down. She wore a long black dress that sparkled. It looked great with her short black hair. It made her seem taller and elegant. |
Blaise Zabini came around the corner with Ginny who took all the attention in a beautiful red dress. All of her was on fire. But she was a Gryffindor and a Weasley which instantly turned heads among the Slytherins. That was an opening and Malfoy lifted his hand forward to greet her. Astoria took him by the elbow. His blue eyes met hers. |
They stepped into the ballroom. It was beautiful, white with light and flowers. So many flowers, Astoria immediately felt intoxicated by the sweet smell. A smile appeared on her face as she looked around. Unconsciously her fingers tightened around him. Malfoy noticed and looked at her, but she didn’t. Her attention was consumed by the beauty that surround her. Her feet felt light and she could almost say she was excited. |
He led her to a table that was also covered with flowers. There were drinks around them. This wasn’t a table for two. As Astoria looked around she noticed the tables were for six people and others came in, filling the room and finding their place. |
Their table had a beautiful view towards the dance floor. That’s when she realized with horror she’d had to dance. She never did. She didn’t remember was there ever an opportunity to do so, an invitation maybe? Even if there was, she probably turned it down and now she was left with regret. |
"You look sad all of a sudden", Malfoy commented, carefully observing her. She realized that as she turned to face him. |
"I just realized I don’t know how to dance", Astoria confessed. |
"This might be a problem", he said. "As we are about to dance a lot tonight". |
Before she could say anything, a chair was pulled next to her. Theo Nott sat there and beside him Pansy Parkinson. The table was in the form of a circle so they could all see each other. Later came Goyle with his date – another girl from Slytherin named Athena. She wore a short blue dress with purple flowers on it. |
The room was filling with more people. Colorful lights glanced around them. The Headmasters came, all dressed in official wizard robes. Astoria turned so she wouldn’t have a chance to meet Igor Karkaroff’s gaze. Fear slid in her body as suddenly she was in the forest and a boy was pulling her hair. |
As she closed her eyes to take a breath a foot punched her under the table. She looked around with surprise to meet Draco’s eyes. He was serious, almost angry, staring her down. It was so she’d behave. Astoria understood and nodded slightly to show him that. |
The champions of the Tournament had the first dance. Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory passed. They made a beautiful couple. Then came Victor Krum with Hermione, Fleur with a handsome gentleman and lastly Harry with Parvati. They didn’t make a beautiful couple. Astoria wondered how she’d look if it was her that was there. |
"Horrible seeing your ex with a cheaper version of you", Pansy said to her. It was an obvious low-blow. |
Astoria turned to her. She forgot how it was, how it always was with them. The constant need to put the other down. The competition. The battle for power. |
"Keeping your bloodline pure is about more than who you fuck", Astoria said to her. Pansy’s mother was from muggle descent. You could say she was mixed. |
Everyone looked surprised. It was the first time Astoria used her supposed heritage like that. She knew this stung Pansy as she turned elegantly and raised her glass of wine. It was a good explanation to imagine Draco asked her because she was like him – pure-blooded. Was she though? |
"Since when are you more than an orphan?", Pansy said with a hollow laugh that gave away her insecurity. |
Some other couples started going to the dance floor and the night began. It was a slow song. Draco didn’t ask if she wanted to join. He got up and opened his hand so she’d take it. And Astoria obeyed. |
"It’s a rare find, someone who’s your equal", he said so they’d all hear. |
They went deep into the crowd. His arm pulled her by the waist. His body was against her. |
He’s handsome, a thought pushed through her consciousness. His blond hair was beautifully put together. His clothes fit him perfectly and he was tall. The pale skin, the blue eyes that seemed more grey under the light. As if he was a marble statue, but he wasn’t cold like one. |
"Watch your feet", Draco said coldly. |
"I’m sorry", Astoria quickly responded and swore to pay more attention to the moment than get lost in thoughts. |
"Lean on me", he said and she listened, "Good girl", he added as her face blushed. He was making fun of her. It was his part of the deal. |
Dancing was easier when he was the one who had the lead. He had perfect control over his movement and of her. His grip was tight. Astoria relaxed, even if she were to fall, he would catch her on time. |
"I never got to ask. How do you feel?", Draco said. It almost sounded to her as concern. |
"I’m okay. Thank you", she said and nervously added – "for what you did". |
"You’ll be safe from now on". |
His hand twisted as he spun her gracefully. He did that again after a few seconds and Astoria couldn’t help but smile. It was all she ever wanted. To be beautiful and to dance with a handsome boy. |
This time he pulled her back with more strength, she didn’t resist as she landed on his chest. Touching him was exciting even though it was through clothes. That made it safe and excusable. |
"You look like you’re having fun", Draco sounded surprised. |
"Shouldn’t I?", a sudden concern slipped in her voice as she looked at him with fear he might take it away. |
"Be my guest", he said and for the first time she saw him smile as well. It was a pleasant smile. It made his face glow up and warmed him immediately, as the ice melted away. |
"You never told me", she said between gasps of breath, "Why did you want to go with me?" |
"You’re fishing for compliments", Draco said irritated by that, but without anger. He is having fun as well, Astoria realized and hoped to be true. |
"Please, spoil me", she whispered in his ear. It was naughty and not very smart of her to do so, but it made her laugh. |
"You look beautiful tonight", he said with a deep breath as if it costed him to say it. |
"You didn’t answer my question", Astoria whispered again, insisting. |
"To keep you close", he finally said. |
He was pushing back. It was an instinct as Draco made a small step back. He didn’t want to talk about it, she figured, but she didn’t care. Her steps were now the dominant one. She still had his hands around her but her own hands were free unlike his. She decided to rest them on his shoulders and narrowed the distance between them. Their faces were inches from one another. |
"You’re an Elroy", his face suddenly buried in her hair. She could feel his warm breath against her skin, "That made you vulnerable". |
"It matters? You wouldn’t ask me if I wasn’t whoever everyone thinks I am?", she shook her head to get away from him. He immediately stopped that intent. |
"You don’t know how they say about you", he hissed at her. There was the same cold rage in him again, "You don’t know the way they could use you and I know you’d late them". |
"You’re wrong", a desperate gasp left her lips. |
"Do you even know what that family name means in the wizarding world?", he hissed again at her. |
"No", Astoria confessed. |
"How is it that you didn’t try to even read about it? Are you an idiot?", his voice was still low but hard in her ear. Her hands curled in fists around his shirt. He felt her grab the fabric and he only pushed her closer to his body. |
"I don’t want to know", she finally said. |
"You are an idiot. Your oblivion on the subject is irrelevant because everyone else already knows. At least those who matter, those with power and important names. Not reading about it just makes you easy prey. A weak and naïve girl. Is that what you want to be?" |
She tried to push away, and Draco let her slip. A mistake on his part. She tried to find the table but instead met Harry’s eyes. He looked disturbed. And she realized they were all staring at her. So many people, staring and whispering. Her legs were weak. What was there to stare about? |
Malfoy’s hand grabbed her waist and pulled her back to himself. |
"I didn’t mean to be rough", he said softly. His hand brushed her hair and left her neck naked. She could feel how her body depended on his hold. |
"You’re horrible", she said through her teeth. |
"Actually, I’m going to be so good to you tonight. Try to enjoy". |
He smirked as his hand held her tight. Astoria wanted to run. He was mostly right, she bitterly realized. Her ignorance of the problem only made it worse and it made her weak. Open for attacks. Like that day. But she remained terrified of what she might find. Everything she had learned against her will from someone else was horrifying. It was something wrong and cruel that she couldn’t associate with herself. |
"Don’t you want to escape for a bit?", the proposition came suddenly to her. His hand was on her neck but there was no force in it. He was enjoying her skin. His grey eyes almost dark under the shadows of the lights around them. |
"Why?", Astoria whimpered. |
"I remember what you asked of me and I can deliver. I will dance with you and I will make you feel good", Draco responded slowly and then suddenly changed the topic, "Do you want wine?" |
"Yes", Astoria answered before she could think. |
He grabbed her hand and they left the dance floor back to the table. He offered her a glass of white wine. She took it and she tried to drink it in one breath. |
"What are you doing?", he snapped. |
Astoria blinked at him. "Drinking". |
"You’re supposed to enjoy it". |
He was being judgmental. She took another glass. So did he. His eyes refusing to leave her even when he took a sip. |
The wine tasted good on her tongue. The first sip was bitter but then it got sweeter and she tried to enjoy it. Then came Goyle and his date. The girl took Theodore’s chair and grabbed Astoria by her hands. Girls never approached her before in school. She had no friends. |
"Oh, my god! You two looked beautiful on the dancefloor!", Athena told her with a wide smile. |
"Thank you, you too", Astoria replied a bit confused, but her answer seemed satisfying. |
Concentrating on the alcohol seemed like a good excuse not to talk. Then Pansy came. She was alone and visibly upset. |
"I thought it was not about who you fuck, yet you had to be so loose In front of everyone", she hissed as she passed by the table. |
Astoria looked at Malfoy who was grinning. She couldn’t focus on Pansy, her mind a chaos trying to figure out what had just happened. He was being awful to her. He called her an idiot. He was cruel to her. Did they not see that? |
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