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biochemistry In mammals social defeat routinely leads to social withdrawal lethargy |
reduced exploratory behavior anhedonia decreased sexual drive and reduced levels of |
testosterone in males and females In humans it is linked to low selfesteem feelings of |
depression avoidance anxiety and increased levels of stressrelated hormones One of the |
most dramatic changes is the attenuation of the breath You may have noticed that after a soul |
crushing defeat the most notable change is that it sucks the wind right out of you |
There is good evidence that social defeat in humans leads to poor health and goes hand |
inhand with sympathetic upregulation Low social status is a robust predictor of death and |
disease in humans Several largescale public health studies have found that low |
socioeconomic status is strongly related to illness disease and mortality The lower a |
persons status the more likely they are to have cardiovascular gastrointestinal |
musculoskeletal neoplastic pulmonary renal or other diseases This association between |
disease and social status cannot be explained away by related factors such as age income |
health behavior race sex or access to healthcare and is thought to be a direct effect of |
stress In places where everyone is poor the effect is nowhere near as strong It is the |
inequality that affects health and it seems that social stress is the real culprit as socially |
isolated people and those who receive less social care and inclusion have a greater risk of dying |
from any cause |
Experiences of social defeat cause us to become preoccupied with matters of status Male |
chimps are obsessed with it They organize most of their lives around issues of rank allowing |
social struggles to consume their time energy and mental lives Chimps use intimidation |
bluffs isolation tactics and obtrusive social maneuvers to challenge and undermine others and |
dethrone the leader Similarly human gloryseeking behaviors personal vendettas crimes |
and even largescale political conflicts almost always involve efforts by individuals to improve |
their rank Innate tendencies to resist social defeat form the basis of human egotism hubris |
false pride and insecurity The primate ego is the source of much of our existential suffering |
Our egos reflect the place in the pecking order in which we imagine ourselves This is why |
the ego plays such a pivotal role in our mental lives The ego is a neurological mechanism |
designed to help us navigate the primate social hierarchy while avoiding defeat It causes us to |
compulsively compare our attributes to those of others and to use these comparisons to guide |
our use of dominance and subordination displays After using the exercises in this book to |
rehabilitate your breathing and other bodily functions hope you feel divested of your |
submissive inclinations and with them your susceptibility to defeat When this happens you |
should feel that your ego expands to include others rather than exclude them |
We want to develop egalitarian relationships in which there is no vying for dominion Dont |
bother subjecting yourself to the neverending backandforth game of status displays Rise |
above them To do this you must respond to other peoples aggressive and submissive displays |
toward you without feeling compelled to respond with those of your own Doing so involves |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
subduing four central mammalian instincts This means that whether they play submissive or |
aggressive you choose not to respond with either aggression or submission You will find that |
virtually anything else you respond with will be perfect |
Trauma Devalues Us |
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated It may even be necessary to encounter the defeat |
so that we can know who we are Maya Angelou |
This books premise is that due to our molecular heritage and primate ancestors |
preoccupation with social competition we are highly susceptible to becoming stress adapted |
This causes us to hold various lesions in modules throughout the body It poisons our minds and |
causes our behavior to be desperate combative and vindictive It causes us to perceive threat |
when it is not intended and appraise real threat as more dire than it really is The resulting |
tendencies cause unnecessary negativity that significantly impedes humanitys cultural and |
intellectual progress |
Stephen Hawking once argued that the human race is equivalent to chemical scum ona |
moderatesized planet used to think that we were scum in both senses of the world |
grotesque biological waste and miserable immoral miscreants Now think it is the |
symptoms and physical stigmata of stress that cause us to act reprehensibly For that reason |
think that they make us scum In my mind however if we can transcend our physical |
afflictions we can transcend our propensity for evil In doing so we would also rise above our |
lowly biological origins |
Dominant Animals Are the Least Aggressive |
What happens to an animal that reaches the top Does an ape that becomes an alpha |
individual in their group become more aggressive or less aggressive What is your guess Many |
people tacitly assume that dominant individuals are more aggressive than subordinate ones |
The opposite is true When an ape or monkey is accepted as the alpha of its group its violent |
tendencies evaporate They are the most assertive while also being the least aggressive There |
is no need for either violence or threat displays except under unusual circumstances as when |
a rival challenges the alpha This is true of both males and females It is therefore |
counterproductive for a human to act aggressively in an attempt to appear dominant What |
they appear as instead is impetuous and foolhardy According to primatologists Richard |
Wrangham and Dale Peterson |
The male chimpanzee behaves as if he is quite driven to reach the top of the community |
heap However once he has been accepted as alpha in other words once his authority |
is established to the point where it is no longer challenged his tendency for violence |
falls dramatically Personality differences and differences in the number skills and |
effectiveness of his challengers produce variation in how completely he relaxes |
However once males have reached the top they can become benign leaders as easily as |
they earlier became irritated challengers What most male chimpanzees strive for is |
being on top the one position where they will never have to grovel The difficulty of |
getting there induces aggression |
Chapter Persistent Adaptation to Chronic Stress |
Scientific observations like this document for us that acting aggressive is a sign of weakness |
and selfperceived inferiority believe that the main reason dominant primates are not |
aggressive is that their own subordination signals no longer haunt them As with apes so also |
with humans we are kept controlled by our egos and obsessed with issues of pride because we |
want desperately to stop having to submit know this was the case for me My nonverbals |
were so submissive that was embarrassed by them didnt want to appear weak so would |
instead get angry angry enough to cross ethical boundaries Deep down we know that |
submissive behavior is the source of much of our physical and emotional pain so we are always |
seeking ways to feel confident in leaving submission behind But the necessary confidence is |
elusive |
In the last chapter we discussed how once we stop sending submissive displays we no |
longer have to choose between assertion and aggression because being assertive without being |
aggressive will become second nature How is this so Imagine you were always blushing |
always sneering and that you always looked like you were about to cry Imagine how |
frustrating and difficult it would be to come across as assertive To be assertive you would |
almost have to be passiveaggressive Right Chapter will show you that the tension we hold |
in the muscles surrounding our cheeks and eyes keeps us continually on the verge of blushing |
sneering and crying |
Releasing the tension responsible for such displays will allow you to reach true equanimity |
and present you with a different option At this point you will have to choose between being a |
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