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drowsy but only at first Many people assume that becoming sleepy is an unavoidable part of |
relaxation It is not Performing the diaphragmatic breathing exercises in Chapter over several |
weeks will prove to you that relaxation sharpens attention in the long run The next chapter will |
discuss the biology of how becoming calmer paradoxically makes you more alert After |
coaching him to take many steady full breaths in a row took him to get a massage |
We went to an pound woman who gave hourlong fullbody massages for at a |
storefront on Hollywood boulevard She had to be more gentle than usual because he could |
Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage |
barely stand even mild pressure glanced at him and saw him shuddering convulsing in what |
took as the ecstasy of the womans touch meeting the agony of his painbody He started |
moaning and when she asked whether she should continue his reply was Please A few |
minutes later he started sobbing and didnt stop for the remaining minutes The other |
people at the parlor didnt even complain about all the noise he was making because they could |
tell what he was going through |
A couple of hours after his massage he looked bright fresh and reinvigorated His |
appearance contrasted starkly with his appearance described at the beginning of this chapter |
It was abundantly clear that various chakralike modules were finally given the break they |
needed to begin restoration and regeneration This included muscles that were never even |
touched by the masseuse His face voice heart diaphragm and gut had the brief respite they |
needed to recharge All because his inner animal was given minutes to forget about its |
interminable fear of death |
Having never had a massage he said it was the best experience of his life and asked when |
we could go again Of course his case is an extreme example Most of us dont carry this |
amount of trauma or have such deeply rooted pain bodies But massage be it professional or |
selfadministered is among our most effective and accessible means of treating both |
Spend Time Rubbing and Caressing |
Personal grooming or preening is widespread in animals and is a hygienic behavior aimed at |
extracting foreign objects from the bodys surface It is done to remove insects ectoparasites |
leaves dirt and twigs Social grooming is common in mammals and involves stroking |
scratching massaging licking and gentle biting of another animal Even animals such as birds |
horses bats lions and insects groom each other Apes and monkeys groom one another daily |
and the consequent trust and bonding are critical to group cohesion Grooming plays a role in |
establishing alliances is imperative for reconciliation after conflict and is one of the main ways |
that primates reduce stress and tension |
In humans and other mammals gentle wellmeaning touch stimulates the release of beta |
endorphin This natural analgesic attaches to the same brain receptors as morphine heroin |
and other drugs derived from the opium poppy Synthetic opioid street drugs increase the |
traumatic load on our bodies by leading to extreme withdrawal But increasing the levels of |
natural endorphins produced by your brain does not and may be among the healthiest things |
you can do It increases overall wellbeing Grooming massaging rubbing cuddling and |
caressing all have this effect This is partially responsible for the fact that primates with the |
most grooming relationships tend to be healthier on average |
Do dominant primates groom a lot or a little What would be your guess In fact they |
groom others the most Because the dominant primates usually have the highest circulating |
endorphin levels they typically do not need to be groomed to relax but are the most willing to |
groom others Most humans do not regularly rub or massage others Do you think that many |
people are apprehensive about being affectionate because they are concerned that their |
manual skills are not good enough or they worry about the social aspects of the interaction |
More than anything they dont want to have their efforts rejected But much of this is a |
question of familiarity and repetitionyou cant get good if you dont try A little bit of time |
and practice will allow you to pass that apprehensive barrier and feel at ease touching and |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
rubbing other people As with other skills weve discussed you can develop the ability on your |
own before perfecting it with others |
Massage Exercise Rub and Caress an Inanimate Object |
Find a pillow or similar object to rub caress or massage Know that the pillow will not |
judge your efforts allowing you to caress it in the most loving way that you are capable |
Imagine you are humbly trying to gain experience and work toward caressing a real |
person You might pretend to be finger painting a beautiful cursive abstract composition |
using a slow soothing cadence Think slow hand not heated rush Alternate between |
touching firmly and very tenderly Try to touch the object in the way you want to be |
touched and know that you can experiment with new flourishes and rhythms without |
someone critiquing you If you do this while practicing paced breathing you will find that |
your hands do not hesitatethe indecision and fumbling will be absent quickly making |
you into a pro With enough practice your loved ones will never want you to stop |
touching them and you will develop a healing hand |
When you find the opportunity practice stroking and caressing another person ina |
smooth rhythmic and doting way Alternate between using your whole hand and the tips of |
your fingers Dont hesitate or pause and try to keep your fingers from skipping along their skin |
Rather maintain fluid contact Lightly squeeze their skin between your fingers and tug at it |
gently You can rub their entire body alternating between pressing and caressing This kind of |
positive physical touch can work wonders for your spouse children or pets |
Caress like vibration does not release hypertonic muscles in the same way that |
compression or percussion does It undoes tension through relaxation by significantly reducing |
conscious bracing However if the person being massaged feels uncomfortable they may |
actually brace more like a pet that doesnt want to be picked up Many people cringe and |
reject touch due to past physical trauma As the one doing the touching it is your responsibility |
to touch them in a way that causes their bracing to subside Affectionate attentive and flowing |
movements will do this |
Try rubbing or caressing your significant other as you listen to music It can help coordinate |
and sensualize your movements Rubbing and massaging the scalp is one of the best ways to |
release endorphins One way to approach this is to start by pressing the tip of your thumb |
firmly into their upper neck and then the occipital muscles on the back of their head Sensually |
depress release and reposition once every two seconds Use your thumb to stroke firmly over |
the hair shafts around the nape of the neck making a crackling sound and stimulating the |
copious nerve endings in the area Massaging the entire scalp in this way rubbing it |
rhythmically with all ten finger pads can be intensely pleasurable Try lying next to your |
partner nestling against them and fondling their arms back and shoulders You might lie on |
your back and have a significant other lie on top of you stomach to stomach so that you can |
rub their neck back bottom and legs with both hands |
It is known that in primates the grooming animal enjoys levels of pleasure chemicals that |
are comparable to the individual being groomed It is the same in humans Stroking your cat or |
dog releases endorphins reduces heart rate and drops blood pressure in the pet as well as in |
Chapter Release Tense Muscle with Massage |
the human doing the petting Without question massaging and caressing someone else is the |
most pleasurable stressreducing and bonding activity know of believe that many people |
feel unsated because they mistakenly seek this form of satisfaction from kissing and sex which |
simply dont provide it One look at the pervasiveness of grooming in primates convinces me |
that our bodies are biologically prepared for and expectant of being rubbed and caressed |
We are doing ourselves a disservice by not doing it regularly |
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