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e Being expressionless and keeping a stolid composure is empowering However keep in |
mind that you will generate animosity if you use your composure to elicit subordination |
displays from others |
e Aside from the physical benefits there are emotional benefits as well because you are |
wiping out the lowgrade wincing and frowning and the related microexpressions |
Chapter Massage Away Facial Tension |
Chapter Endnotes |
Eckman P Emotions revealed Henry Holt and Co |
Havas D A Glenberg A M Gutowski K A Lucarelli M J Davidson R J |
Cosmetic use of botulinum toxinA affects processing of emotional language Psychological |
Science |
Valentine T Darling S Donnelly M Why are average faces attractive |
The effect of view and averageness on the attractiveness of female faces Psychonomic Bulletin |
Review |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile |
Theres daggers in mens smiles Shakespeare |
The quote above from Macbeth hints at some of the complexity and ambiguity of the smile |
You might be used to thinking of the smile as something fairly simple an expression of |
happiness or affection And youre right but it is much more than that Smiles play a nuanced |
and highly variable role in social interaction They are central to how we present ourselves are |
loaded with contextdependent meaning and are used to display our intentions and feelings |
whether honestly or otherwise |
Smiles are also controlled by some of the same facial muscles that youve been working |
hard to free from bracing for the last two chapters Leaving those muscles braced will make |
your smile frail and submissive and make it harder to connect positively with others Relieving |
them from tension and then strengthening them under diaphragmatic conditions will make |
your smile beam Before we dive into the exercises you can use to do that it will help to have a |
look at how and why animals smile |
The Origins of the Smile |
The smile has a convoluted but fascinating origin In most mammals drawing back the lips to |
reveal the teeth is done in preparation for biting Baring the teeth keeps the animal from biting |
into its lips It is also used as a flash of the fangs warning other animals that it is angry |
When accompanied by a growl it is called a snarl Thus revealing the teeth is an expression of |
blatant aggression or the intention to take a bite In primates the signal is more complicated |
In monkeys lifting the top lip communicates that the displaying animal feels threatened |
This often occurs when the animal is cornered trapped or cannot take flight In nearly all |
primates the startle reflex is accompanied by a grin mouth corner retraction and a shrill |
vocalization This reflexive grinandshriek pattern communicates that the animal is |
jeopardized or intimidated As you can see baring the teeth is tied to the neural circuits |
responsible for fight or flight The flash of the teeth especially teeth held together is used to |
appease dominant group members exclaiming am stressed but my mouth is closed and |
am willing to submit It is a selfhandicapping signal and an admission of fear As submission |
increases the gaze is averted the ears are drawn back and the lips are retracted further both |
horizontally and vertically revealing more of the teeth and even parts of the gums This can be |
contrasted with the facial response associated with anger As anger increases the stare widens |
the ears are brought forward and the lips are contracted obscuring the teeth |
In short fear is associated with displaying the teeth and dominance with concealing them |
In many monkey species if a dominant male chases a subordinate and the subordinate grins |
expressing fear the dominant animal will relent stop chasing and leave them alone |
If the dominant male were to grin by contrast the subordinate would approach and embrace |
him Thus the precise function of the signal is contextbound |
Things get even more complicated when we narrow the field to our closest relatives |
the great apes Among apes baring the teeth can serve a range of purposes depending on the |
situation and what other expressions are involved Like the human smile an apes grin can |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
function to show submission attempt appeasement or solicit affection A quick grin is often |
flashed between social equals Chimpanzees for instance can often be seen grinning at each |
other before they embrace A silent baredteeth expression is usually associated with assurance |
and affiliation A relaxed face with an open mouth baring the bottom teeth is associated |
with play |
So where a monkeys grin communicates either surprise or insecurity humans and other |
apes have generalized and expanded the expression to convey compliance affiliation and play |
However because it has its origins in fear and appeasement even the human smile is |
neurologically linked to distressed breathing and the sympathetic system In other words |
our smiles carry within them both the positive and negative signals that were inherited from |
our ape ancestors Consequently they do not automatically communicate goodwill This is |
unfortunate because it means that fun and affection can be intrinsically tied to stress |
The exercises in this chapter will teach you how to dissociate this negativity from your smile |
aA |
Illustration A Baboon baring the teeth B Chimpanzee making a threat display Chimpanzee with a |
friendly grin |
Why Our Smiles Are Tainted |
We can start by reviewing how our smiles come to be linked to negative emotions in the first |
place Consider the people who have the best most reliable smiles models cheerleaders |
professional greeters or frontdesk staff These are people who have been expected to keep |
unflinching smiles on their faces for hours at a time At first the experience must have been |
uncomfortable for many of them causing defensive nervous breathing Over time though |
these professional smilers would have had no choice but to learn to breathe sustainably while |
smiling leading to the gradual pairing of relaxed breathing with their grins This is what want |
for you |
Most of us dont possess that healthy link because we have never had to smile consistently |
for long periods Without that kind of training a smile typically speeds up our heart rates |
makes our breathing shallow places stress on our vocal cords and activates trigger points in |
our faces The social smiling behavior of humans is often nervous and compulsory For instance |
we smile when something awkward happens because we feel like we have to Because most of |
us routinely pair smiling with distressed breathing we have badly strained smiling muscles and |
offer insincere uncomfortable smiles |
Chapter Strengthen and Tone Your Smile |
Dominant people are less likely to smile and more likely to frown On average bosses and |
managers smile less often than their employees for instance Highstatus individuals are |
permitted to display their negative emotions more freely and are not expected to provide |
appeasement displays to the people around them On the other hand lowstatus people are |
expected to stifle negative and competitive feelings and actively display signs of affiliation |
Studies have found that lowranking children smile more when approaching highranking |
children than high rankers do when approaching low rankers Studies also show that smiling is |
commonly associated with approval seeking and low social status in adults In children it is |
associated with low peer toughness ratings In light of such relationships smiling is often |
taken for weakness |
Several studies have found that women prefer men who dont smile Other researchers |
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