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for anyone who grew up on disney's 1950 treasure island , or remembers the 1934 victor fleming classic , this one feels like an impostor .
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a clutchy , indulgent and pretentious travelogue and diatribe against . . . well , just stuff . watching scarlet diva , one is poised for titillation , raw insight or both . instead , we just get messy anger , a movie as personal therapy .
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meandering , sub-aquatic mess : it's so bad it's good , but only if you slide in on a freebie .
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the ending is a cop-out . what happens to john q ? i don't have an i am sam clue .
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has the feel of an unedited personal journal .
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remember when bond had more glamour than clamor ? no more .
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cry havoc and let slip the dogs of cheese , indeed .
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this charmless nonsense ensues amid clanging film references that make jay and silent bob's excellent adventure seem understated .
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it doesn't quite deserve the gong , but there are more fascinating acts than " confessions of a dangerous mind . "
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the subject of swinging still seems ripe for a documentary -- just not this one .
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. . . hudlin is stuck trying to light a fire with soggy leaves .
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unlike his directorial efforts , la femme nikita and the professional , the transporter lacks besson's perspective as a storyteller .
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the overall effect is so completely inane that one would have to be mighty bored to even think of staying with this for more than , say , ten . . . make that three minutes .
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lacks depth .
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most of the supporting characters in eastwood films are weak , as are most of the subplots . this one's weaker than most .
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there's no real reason to see it , and no real reason not to .
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audiences will find no mention of political prisoners or persecutions that might paint the castro regime in less than saintly tones .
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under-rehearsed and lifeless
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the film takes too long getting to the good stuff , then takes too long figuring out what to do next .
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you can practically smell the patchouli oil .
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to say analyze that is de niro's best film since meet the parents sums up the sad state of his recent career .
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the actors don't inhabit their roles -- they're trapped by them , forced to change behavior in bizarre unjustified fashion and spout dialog that consists mostly of platitudes .
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an often-deadly boring , strange reading of a classic whose witty dialogue is treated with a baffling casual approach
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this film was made to get laughs from the slowest person in the audience -- just pure slapstick with lots of inane , inoffensive screaming and exaggerated facial expressions .
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consists of a plot and jokes done too often by people far more talented than ali g
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another week , another gross-out college comedy--ugh .
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laughably , irredeemably awful .
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moderately involving despite bargain-basement photography and hackneyed romance .
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there is no insight into the anguish of heidi's life -- only a depiction of pain , today's version of greek tragedy , the talk-show guest decrying her fate .
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the editing is chaotic , the photography grainy and badly focused , the writing unintentionally hilarious , the direction unfocused , the performances as wooden .
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when [de palma's] bad , he's really bad , and femme fatale ranks with the worst he has done .
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tadpole is emblematic of the witless ageism afflicting films : young is cool , and too young is too cool .
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i doubt anyone will remember the picture by the time christmas really rolls around , but maybe it'll be on video by then .
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uncertain in tone . . . a garbled exercise in sexual politics , a junior varsity short cuts by way of very bad things .
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all's well that ends well , and rest assured , the consciousness-raising lessons are cloaked in gross-out gags .
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the only thing worse than your substandard , run-of-the-mill hollywood picture is an angst-ridden attempt to be profound .
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if you think that jennifer lopez has shown poor judgment in planning to marry ben affleck , wait till you see maid in manhattan .
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stars matthew perry and elizabeth hurley illicit more than a chuckle , and more jokes land than crash , but ultimately serving sara doesn't distinguish itself from the herd .
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it's best to avoid imprisonment with the dull , nerdy folks that inhabit cherish .
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culkin exudes none of the charm or charisma that might keep a more general audience even vaguely interested in his bratty character .
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in the end , ted bundy's only justification is the director's common but unexplored fascination with the frustrated maniac ; there's no larger point , and little social context .
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. . . ( like ) channel surfing between the discovery channel and a late-night made-for-cable action movie .
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a movie that , rather than skip along the seine , more or less slogs its way through soggy paris , tongue uncomfortably in cheek .
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shot perhaps 'artistically' with handheld cameras and apparently no movie lights by joaquin baca-asay , the low-budget production swings annoyingly between vertigo and opacity .
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imagine a really bad community theater production of west side story without the songs .
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soul is what's lacking in every character in this movie and , subsequently , the movie itself .
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a one-trick pony whose few t&a bits still can't save itself from being unoriginal , unfunny and unrecommendable .
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the worst kind of independent ; the one where actors play dress down hicks and ponderously mope around trying to strike lightning as captured by their 1970s predecessors
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it may be a prize winner , but teacher is a bomb .
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the production values are up there . the use of cgi and digital ink-and-paint make the thing look really slick . the voices are fine as well . the problem , it is with most of these things , is the script .
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it's got its heart in the right place , but it also wilts after awhile .
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proves that a movie about goodness is not the same thing as a good movie .
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well , it does go on forever .
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this overproduced and generally disappointing effort isn't likely to rouse the rush hour crowd .
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topkapi this is not .
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if shayamalan wanted to tell a story about a man who loses his faith , why didn't he just do it , instead of using bad sci-fi as window dressing ?
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ethan hawke has always fancied himself the bastard child of the beatnik generation and it's all over his chelsea walls .
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equal parts bodice-ripper and plodding costume drama .
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i'm not suggesting that you actually see it , unless you're the kind of person who has seen every wim wenders film of the '70s .
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while the film misfires at every level , the biggest downside is the paucity of laughter in what's supposed to be a comedy .
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if you liked the 1982 film then , you'll still like it now .
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a 93-minute condensation of a 26-episode tv series , with all of the pitfalls of such you'd expect .
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guillen rarely gets beneath the surface of things . she lists ingredients , but never mixes and stirs .
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audiences can be expected to suspend their disbelief only so far -- and that does not include the 5 o'clock shadow on the tall wooden kid as he skips off to school .
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to imagine the life of harry potter as a martial arts adventure told by a lobotomized woody allen is to have some idea of the fate that lies in store for moviegoers lured to the mediocrity that is kung pow : enter the fist .
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it delivers some chills and sustained unease , but flounders in its quest for deeper meaning .
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credibility levels are low and character development a non-starter .
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i would have preferred a transfer down the hall to mr . holland's class for the music , or to robin williams's lecture so i could listen to a teacher with humor , passion , and verve .
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for the most part , the ingredients are there . but an unwillingness to explore beyond the surfaces of her characters prevents nettelbeck's film from coming together .
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an earnest , heartrending look at the divide between religious fundamentalists and their gay relatives . it's also heavy-handed and devotes too much time to bigoted views .
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a mawkish , implausible platonic romance that makes chaplin's city lights seem dispassionate by comparison .
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yes , one enjoys seeing joan grow from awkward young woman to strong , determined monarch , but her love for the philandering philip only diminishes her stature .
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it's a film that hinges on its casting , and glover really doesn't fit the part .
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this is a throwaway , junk-food movie whose rap soundtrack was better tended to than the film itself .
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. . . with the candy-like taste of it fading faster than 25-cent bubble gum , i realized this is a throwaway movie that won't stand the test of time . it's a trifle .
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literally nothing in the pool is new , but if you grew up on the stalker flicks of the 1980's this one should appease you for 90 minutes .
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arguably the year's silliest and most incoherent movie .
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anyway , for one reason or another , crush turns into a dire drama partway through . after that , it just gets stupid and maudlin . too bad , but thanks to some lovely comedic moments and several fine performances , it's not a total loss .
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chao was chen kaige's assistant for years in china . he has not learnt that storytelling is what the movies are about .
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a mixed bag of a comedy that can't really be described as out of this world .
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unwieldy contraption .
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the film is a travesty of the genre and even as spoof takes itself too seriously .
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marries the amateurishness of the blair witch project with the illogic of series 7 : the contenders to create a completely crass and forgettable movie .
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the piano teacher is the sort of movie that discourages american audiences from ever wanting to see another foreign film .
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if it's another regurgitated action movie you're after , there's no better film than half past dead .
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so what is the point ? lovingly choreographed bloodshed taking place in a pristine movie neverland , basically .
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this is junk food cinema at its greasiest .
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when it's all wet , blue crush is highly enjoyable . when it's on dry land , though , this surfer-girl melodrama starts gasping like a beached grouper .
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most new movies have a bright sheen . some , like ballistic , arrive stillborn . . . looking like the beaten , well-worn video box cover of seven years into the future .
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the story is naturally poignant , but first-time screenwriter paul pender overloads it with sugary bits of business .
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you see robert de niro singing - and dancing to - west side story show tunes . choose your reaction : a . ) that sure is funny ! b . ) that sure is pathetic !
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a sermonizing and lifeless paean to teenage dullards .
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this dramatically shaky contest of wills only reiterates the old hollywood saw : evil is interesting and good is boring .
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before long , the film starts playing like general hospital crossed with a saturday night live spoof of dog day afternoon .
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the charms of willful eccentricity , at least as evidenced by this latest cinematic essay , are beginning to wear a bit thin .
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instead of accurately accounting a terrible true story , the film's more determined to become the next texas chainsaw massacre . but what about the countless other people who'd merely like to watch a solid tale about a universally interesting soul ?
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a silly , self-indulgent film about a silly , self-indulgent filmmaker .
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scarlet diva has a voyeuristic tug , but all in all it's a lot less sensational than it wants to be .
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the character is too forced and overwritten to be funny or believable much of the time , and clayburgh doesn't always improve the over-the-top mix .
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flashy , pretentious and as impenetrable as morvern's thick , working-class scottish accent .
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