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it won't be long before you'll spy i spy at a video store near you .
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this film looks like it was produced in 1954 , shelved for 48 years , and repackaged for a 2002 audience .
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propelled not by characters but by caricatures .
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there is not an ounce of honesty in the entire production .
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this extremely unfunny film clocks in at 80 minutes , but feels twice as long .
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earnest but earthbound . . . a slow , soggy , soporific , visually dank crime melodrama/character study that would be more at home on the small screen but for its stellar cast .
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the pivotal narrative point is so ripe the film can't help but go soft and stinky .
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for all its alleged youthful fire , xxx is no less subservient to bond's tired formula of guns , girls and gadgets while brandishing a new action hero .
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a predictable and stereotypical little b-movie .
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if i spy were funny ( enough ) or exciting ( enough ) then it would be fairly simple to forgive the financial extortion it's trying to reap from the moviegoing public .
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frustratingly , dridi tells us nothing about el gallo other than what emerges through his music .
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places a slightly believable love triangle in a difficult-to-swallow setting , and then disappointingly moves the story into the realm of an improbable thriller .
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stephen earnhart's documentary is a decomposition of healthy eccentric inspiration and ambition – wearing a cloak of unsentimental , straightforward text – when it's really an exercise in gross romanticization of the delusional personality type .
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a very average science fiction film .
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undone by its overly complicated and derivative screenplay , the glacier-paced direction and the stereotypical characters .
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how anyone over the age of 2 can stomach the touchy-feely message this preachy produce promotes is beyond us .
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the sort of movie that gives tastelessness a bad rap .
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the cold and dreary weather is a perfect metaphor for the movie itself , which contains few laughs and not much drama .
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the plot is straight off the shelf , the performances are television- caliber and the message of providing solace through deception is a little creepy .
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ordinary melodrama that is heavy on religious symbols but wafer-thin on dramatic substance
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a whimsical if predictable time-travel fable marred by a willful single-mindedness .
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those who managed to avoid the deconstructionist theorizing of french philosopher jacques derrida in college can now take an 85-minute brush-up course with the documentary derrida . or , you can do something fun tonight .
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jolie's performance vanishes somewhere between her hair and her lips .
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as with too many studio pics , plot mechanics get in the way of what should be the lighter-than-air adventure .
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static , repetitive , muddy and blurry , hey arnold ! would seem to have a lock on the title of ugliest movie of the year .
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for all of the contemporary post-colonialist consciousness that kapur tries to bring to the four feathers , the oddest thing about the movie is how it winds up affirming the same damn moldy values the material has always held dear .
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un thriller manqué qui tombe sur les nerfs presque dès la première image .
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when it comes to entertainment , children deserve better than pokemon 4ever .
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what the four feathers lacks is genuine sweep or feeling or even a character worth caring about .
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while benigni ( who stars and co-wrote ) seems to be having a wonderful time , he might be alone in that .
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yes , 4ever is harmless in the extreme and it'll mute your kids for nearly 80 minutes , but why not just treat the little yard apes to the real deal and take them to spirited away ?
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preposterous and tedious , sonny is spiked with unintentional laughter that , unfortunately , occurs too infrequently to make the film even a guilty pleasure .
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calling this movie brainless would be paying it a compliment : it's more like entertainment for trolls .
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none of these characters resembles anyone you've ever met in real life , unless you happen to know annoyingly self-involved people who speak in glib sentences that could have only come from the pen of a screenwriter .
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. . . just a big mess of a movie , full of images and events , but no tension or surprise .
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as elegantly crafted as it often is , anderson's movie is essentially a one-trick pony that , hampered by an undeveloped script , ultimately pulls up lame .
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splashes its drama all over the screen , subjecting its audience and characters to action that feels not only manufactured , but also so false you can see the filmmakers' puppet strings .
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. . . has virtually no script at all . . .
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will only satisfy those who can't tell the difference between the good , the bad and the ugly .
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this kind of dark comedy requires a delicate , surgical touch . but director danny devito and screenwriter adam resnick ( remember cabin boy ? ) just pound away .
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at times , however , dogtown and z-boys lapses into an insider's lingo and mindset that the uninitiated may find hard to follow , or care about .
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rather quickly , the film falls into a soothing formula of brotherly conflict and reconciliation .
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screenwriters scott abbott and michael petroni have turned rice's complex akasha into a cartoon monster .
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the writers , director wally wolodarsky , and all the actors should start their own coeducational fraternity : kappa rho alpha phi .
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bad beyond belief and ridiculous beyond description .
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the new faces are interesting , but the old story isn't , especially when it starts to seem more improvised than scripted .
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most of the action setups are incoherent .
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liman , of swingers and go , makes his big-budget action film debut something of a clunker as he delivers a long , low-heat chase , interrupted by a middling car chase .
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. . . surprisingly inert for a movie in which the main character travels back and forth between epochs .
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the problem isn't that the movie hits so close to home so much as that it hits close to home while engaging in such silliness as that snake-down-the-throat business and the inevitable shot of schwarzenegger outrunning a fireball .
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dreary , highly annoying . . . 'some body' will appeal to no one .
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a prison comedy that never really busts out of its comfy little cell .
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there's something deeply creepy about never again , a new arrow in schaeffer's quiver of ineptitudes .
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the problem with concept films is that if the concept is a poor one , there's no saving the movie . sorry , charlie
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a painfully leaden film destined for pre-dawn cable television slots .
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blessed with immense physical prowess he may well be , but ahola is simply not an actor . and in truth , cruel as it may sound , he makes arnold schwarzenegger look like spencer tracy .
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the cartoon that isn't really good enough to be on afternoon tv is now a movie that isn't really good enough to be in theaters .
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shocking only in that it reveals the filmmaker's bottomless pit of self-absorption .
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this pep-talk for faith , hope and charity does little to offend , but if saccharine earnestness were a crime , the film's producers would be in the clink for life .
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all ends well , sort of , but the frenzied comic moments never click .
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if this is the danish idea of a good time , prospective tourists might want to consider a different destination -- some jolly country embroiled in a bloody civil war , perhaps .
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formula 51 is so trite that even yu's high-energy action stylings can't break through the stupor .
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only a few minutes elapse before the daddy of all slashers arrives , still with the boiler suit and white mask , which look remarkably clean for a guy who has been mass-murdering since 1978 but has never been seen doing laundry .
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when the painted backdrops in a movie are more alive than its characters , you know you're in trouble .
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[two] fairly dull -- contrasting and interlocking stories about miserable scandinavian settlers in 18th-century canada , and yuppie sailboaters in the here and now .
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the film is really not so much bad as bland .
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the central story lacks punch .
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though ganesh is successful in a midlevel sort of way , there's nothing so striking or fascinating or metaphorically significant about his career as to rate two hours of our attention .
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this may be the dumbest , sketchiest movie on record about an aspiring writer's coming-of-age .
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succumbs to the same kind of maudlin , sentimental mysticism that mars the touched by an angel school of non-god spiritual-uplift movies .
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a harmless and mildly amusing family comedy .
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what was subtle and mystifying in the novella is now broad and farcical .
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the kids often appear to be reading the lines and are incapable of conveying any emotion .
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" men in black ii , " has all the earmarks of a sequel . the story is less vibrant , the jokes are a little lukewarm , but will anyone really care ?
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sucking all the 'classic' out of robert louis stevenson's treasure island and filling the void with sci-fi video game graphics and disney-fied adolescent angst . . .
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this 72-minute film does have some exciting scenes , but it's a tad slow .
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while super troopers is above academy standards , its quintet of writers could still use some more schooling .
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a mix of velocity and idiocy , this ruinous remake lacks the brawn -- and the brains -- of the 1970s original .
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the low-budget full frontal was one of the year's murkiest , intentionally obscure and self-indulgent pictures , and solaris is its big-budget brother .
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the plot is very clever , but boyd weighs it down with too many characters and events , all intertwined and far too complicated to keep track of .
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the film seems all but destined to pop up on a television screen in the background of a scene in a future quentin tarantino picture
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a free-for-all of half-baked thoughts , clumsily used visual tricks and self-indulgent actor moments .
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apallingly absurd . . . the chemistry or lack thereof between newton and wahlberg could turn an imax theater into a 9 " black and white portable tv .
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a well acted and well intentioned snoozer .
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the smug , oily demeanor that donovan adopts throughout the stupidly named pipe dream is just repulsive .
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must-see viewing for anyone involved in the high-tech industry . others may find it migraine-inducing , despite moore's attempts at whimsy and spoon feeding .
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despite its good nature and some genuinely funny moments , super troopers suffers from a bad case of arrested development .
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it's hard not to feel you've just watched a feature-length video game with some really heavy back story .
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i watched the brainless insanity of no such thing with mounting disbelief .
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this limp gender-bender-baller from a first-time director and rookie screenwriter steals wholesale from that 1982's tootsie , forgetting only to retain a single laugh .
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kwan makes the mix-and- match metaphors intriguing , while lulling us into torpor with his cultivated allergy to action .
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while obviously an extremely personal work , it remains inextricably stuck in an emotionally unavailable rut .
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any movie this boring should be required to have ushers in the theater that hand you a cup of coffee every few minutes . like a marathon runner trying to finish a race , you need a constant influx of liquid just to get through it .
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i loved looking at this movie . i just didn't care as much for the story .
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has all the poignancy of a hallmark card and all the comedy of a gallagher stand-up act .
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it doesn't do the original any particular dishonor , but neither does it exude any charm or personality .
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fear dot com is so rambling and disconnected it never builds any suspense .
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a gorgeous , somnolent show that is splendidly mummified and thoroughly unsurprising .
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a semi-autobiographical film that's so sloppily written and cast that you cannot believe anyone more central to the creation of bugsy than the caterer had anything to do with it .
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it feels like a community theater production of a great broadway play : even at its best , it will never hold a candle to the original .
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