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Hawken Trent. So polite. So sweet. Such an upstanding young man. A virgin, too, I hear. He never gets naughty with a girl. Probably because Jesus told him not to. And now here he is, trying to be the hero by protecting another girl from me. He calls me a bully. Irrational. Unreasonable. A criminal. He can call me anything he wants, I’ve heard worse. And he can try to stand between me and my money, but he’s never had to fight for food. That rich, clean, school boy doesn’t have what it takes.
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I surprised her. You should’ve seen her face. Just because I don’t have a record, honey, doesn’t mean I’m clean. It just means I’m better at not getting caught. That is until I realize I might’ve actually gone too far this time. She’s there. I’m there. The scene of the crime. It’s dark. The police show up. We have no choice. We run. Down High Street, into Quinn’s bake shop, and I pull her through the entrance to the old speakeasy that everyone forgot was here decades ago. The door locks, the cops circle the building, never knowing we’re right here, and I’m hidden in plain sight, indefinitely, with someone’s who’s awful. Mean. Rough. Dirty. A thief. A delinquent. Until one night, lost in all of these rooms together, I don’t see any of those things anymore. She’s smart. Daring. Soft. Hot…
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Penelope Douglas is a New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author. Their books have been translated into nineteen languages and include The Fall Away Series, The Devil’s Night Series, and the stand-alones, Misconduct, Punk 57, Birthday Girl, Credence, and Tryst Six Venom. They live in New England with their husband and daughter.23Jesus answered him, Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; and the word that you hear is not mine, but is from the Father who sent me.
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I have said these things to you while I am still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, I am going away, and I am coming to you. If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, because the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you this before it occurs, so that when it does occur, you may believe.
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What do you think inspired you to begin writing? What is it about literature that appeals to you – or do you consider romantic fiction to be literature? Would you say it’s harder or easier for a man to write romance? What about the sex scenes? I think it’s interesting how psychologists say women are more into feeling and men are more visual. Does this affect your writing – whether it be romantic or not? Does it make your descriptions more detailed, or more black and white?
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Let’s hear what you have to say because I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know anything about the writing or reviewing world – as I’ve never done either one.To begin with I made a card on my cameo silhouette for her, in the shape of a onesie, and I used another cute cute file to make the giraffe to decorate it and the word baby - suitable coloured in neutral yellow as she doesn't yet know if she's having girl or a boy.
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The silhouette came into play again to make this super cute favor box which I used to hold the money we collected for her - we were going for a gift card, but given the number of stores going into liquidation we thought that the folding gift vouchers exchangeable at any store were a much safer option ;-) She didn't know what she wanted to get so at least now she can choose stuff she really needs. I stamped some decorative panels on 3 sides and on the onesie on top, stamped a sentiment on the front (Waltzingmouse Compact Sentiments) and then wrapped all around it with some dotted washi tape.
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The "cake" is filled with lots of useful baby products - talc, wipes, shampoo and a few little mummy toiletries too. You simply tape your tallest items into the middle and then you need a lot of elastic bands and it's then just a case of adding lots of your rolled up nappies until you get nice round tiers of "cake" Here's an in progress shot of the bottom two tiers. I wrapped some bibs around the the baby cream to make the centre of the top 2 tiers nice and round.
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It's not as though we are turning every school into a charter school I went to the lowest decile college and have made it out the other side but many of my mates didn't many went to jail or are not here any more.i look at them and ask if it would it have been better under a charter or partnership school program and the answer is maybe but we won't know unless we try something new.It is about time this was about the kids not the teachers or more importantly the union lets see if we can make a difference to some of those kids rather than blocking every bit of change that is introduced.
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After packing up Paul and I headed out to the track where NHRA had saved us a great pit space which would give all the Meritor people who attended the race easy access to us. As I mentioned before it was now up to the weather to make this a great weekend for everyone connected to Meritor Motor Sports. Unfortunately mother nature was not really looking to make this anything but a weather weekend. Hot and humid along with intense thunderstorms was what we got and only the truly committed fan was willing to come out. We finally got our first of two (rain shortened) qualifiers in Friday night. We were in second place when it was all over posting a 5.85 second elapsed time at 252 m.p.h. We knew that that would not be good enough to keep us in the top half of the field but with the rain settling, in a second shot at the track was a long shot and having all three session next to impossible.
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The rain let up enough on Saturday to get a second session in but this did not help us as the right lane could not hold all our power. We missed on the setup of the car and the resulting shake forced Paul to abort the run. When it was all said and done our Friday number got us the #6 spot and because of it we did not have lane choice. On the bright side the car did not suffer any major injury and our evening service was very routine.
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Sunday rolled around again with changing weather conditions and that big question mark of could we get down the right lane. Very few good times were made in the right lane and we knew that was where we would be put by our first round opponent. Lance Van Hallen did indeed put us in the right lane, I’m sure he wanted every advantage he could get on us because if we got the tune up right, Paul and his starting line ability makes the Meritor Hotrod a tough race. Paul did his job and left first with a .023 reaction time to Lance’s .119 and for 200 feet the race was ours. 200 ft. is not a full drag race, again the car shook so hard that it deployed the fire bottles, popped the chutes and shut the car down. Another miss on the tune up, our race was over. Back to the computer to find out just what we are missing and then pack everything up for that long drive home.
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On a positive note Marty Hetherington (marketing manager) of Meritor joined us for the weekend and had a fine experience at the track. It was not what we wanted for his first time but now he has a very good understanding of the sport, commitment necessary and the thrillers it offers. Andy Bohl the #1 qualifier at the event ended up the winner posting the lowest elapsed time of each round of eliminations as he scored his second event win of the season. He has a firm hold on the #1 position in the North Central Division for this year.
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Here, because the camera follows our protagonists, Lance Corporal Schofield (George MacKay of “Captain Fantastic”) and Lance Corporal Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman, Joffrey’s kid brother on “Game of Thrones”), in their journey to call off a British attack and save 1600 men, we’re following them every step of the way, so we don’t have the cuts and fade outs from one scene to the next. They walk 100 yards or so and they’re in the next setting. Sometimes they don’t even have to walk. When Blake is stabbed in the stomach by the German pilot, and Schofield is holding him as he dies, Schofield is alone, horribly alone. Then two soldiers suddenly appear and help him move the body. As they do this, we see more men, and then the camera pans back and we see an entire regiment. When did they arrive? How did we not hear them coming?
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Schofield goes with them until their vehicles can’t get past a bombed-out bridge near Ecoust-Saint-Mein; but Schofield can. He says goodbye, climbs onto the remains of the bridge, and makes it halfway across when a German sniper on the other side starts shooting at him. So the men in the regiment return fire. Kidding. Schofield has gone maybe 50 feet, in maybe 30 seconds, but the regiment is already gone. That part of the dream is over. He’s alone again. Horribly alone.
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It’s a shame the way awards season is set up. We hear about critically acclaimed movies a zillion times before we have the chance to see them, so we go in with high hopes. I saw “1917” last week with my wife, knowing it won the PGA for best film, and the DGA for best film, making it the frontrunner to the win the Oscar for best film. Afterwards, we looked at each other and went, “It’s good.” Long pause. “But...”
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Initially, in silence, they traverse the grim realities of No Man’s Land, where the unclaimed corpses of man and beast lie rotting; then they jump into the German trenches, which are abandoned, and—hey!—so much nicer than ours. The trench is also boobytrapped, which Schofield spots; but a rat, a literal rat, trips the wire, the place caves in, and Blake saves Schofield. It’s the opposite of what we think will happen. Schofield is taller, leaner and braver; he’s already got the medal that Blake envies but he thought so little of it he traded it for a bottle of wine. But here it’s Blake to the rescue.
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Then it’s onto the farmhouse, which after some suspense they determine to be abandoned, and where, with detached interest, they watch an aerial dogfight between two Brits and a German. The German, outnumbered, goes down smoking, and is it coming this way? No. YES! Inexplicably, after he barrels into a barn, they rescue the pilot and debate whether or not to mercy kill him. Why not just kill him? He's the enemy. Instead, he kills Blake while Schofield is fetching water.
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Is the second half of the movie a bit much? After Schofield kills the sniper but falls back down the stairs and knocks himself out? The shots of—is it a village?—are eerie, masterful, and reminiscent of the Do Lung Bridge sequence in “Apocalypse Now,” but the whole thing gets both surreal and unreal. Schofield is fired upon, ducks into a basement where he comes across a pretty Frenchwoman and a baby—but not her baby. He leaves them food. To escape a drunk German soldier, he ducks behind a pillar, only to come face-to-face with a young, sober German soldier, whom he chokes to death. The drunk tries to shoot him, several others give chase, so Schofield jumps into a raging river, down a waterfall, pulls himself up over a dozen, rotting, soggy corpses, walks in a daze through the woods, and plops himself down among a regiment listening to one of their own singing a high, plaintive, mournful song.
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There’s a few such false notes in the film, and the entire “single shot” (which isn’t a single shot) conceit creates a veneer of same for me. It felt too gimmicky for the surroundings. The casting of the officers was a gimmick itself. Our boys are tasked by Mr. Darcy, pointed in the right direction by the Hot Priest, given a lift by Merlin, so Schofield can deliver the message to Sherlock Holmes in order to save Robb Stark. It’s Masterpiece Theater. Nice, anyway, that the Starks and Lannisters are not only getting along, they’re now related.
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The thing is, when you are on the move and need something you don’t want to be opening several different panniers to get items you may need. The lesson I learned on the Camino was to pack a pannier with the most likely things you are going to need during the day (in the case of the Camino I packed it in a rucksack, as I had only 2 panniers then, where I now have 4), so you’ll only need to open one bag during the day, unless something out of the ordinary happens, which is not uncommon. I am, therefore, attempting to change the packing accordingly and moved several items around the panniers.
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When I finished packing everything (took me about 25 min yes, I am slow) brought everything downstairs, where the bike was, and started to load them in the bike. About 15 min later, when all panniers and the camping bag were loaded and fastened, I realised I was missing my Cateye cycling computer, which I thought I had placed in the handlebar bag together with the Garmin Edge 810. It wasn’t there. Went back to the room and searched everywhere as I knew I had it the day before… couldn’t find it. There was only one option left: Search in the panniers, which, as I mentioned before, were already loaded in the bike. I’ll give you one chance to guess if it was in the 1st pannier or in the last. Did you guess? Of course it was in the last. It must have fallen in the pannier as I was rearranging the packing. Altogether, I literally spend 1h looking for the damn thing. That meant I left the B&B only around 11:30am. For a pilgrim this is almost time of arrival, not time of departure. Anyway need to give no excuses to anyone as I am alone, but it was a bit stressful. My own fault.
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From Alembon I rode to Licques, where I managed to get a stamp from a water park there, as everything else was closed. Then to Tournehem-sur-la-Hem, where there was also nothing open. Not to say nothing, the church was open, but there was no one in it. From Tournehem my next destination was Thérouanne, where, according to my host the day before, there was a pilgrim’s hostel, but… everything was closed. I wasn’t planning to stay there anyway, as I wanted to ride more, so I rode further to Amettes where there is another hostel with special rates for pilgrims (€13/night). Guess what? Closed!
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So I decided to continue riding to Bruay-la-Buissière as I knew it was a bigger town and there was bound to be something open. As I got there I asked several people about “auberges” or hotels but I couldn’t find any near, so I turned to Google which offered me a few, with one of the cheapest being the Ibis Style in the outskirts of town. Had to ride another 4 or 5 Km to get there and the daily rate wasn’t the €53 Google suggested, but €69 with Breakfast. By that point it was late and I was too tired to go searching for something cheaper, so that is where I stayed. The room was great and the hotel was near several restaurants. Had a really good meal at the 3 Les 3 Brasseurs.
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– Review: A Fondant Farewell by H.Y. HannaI always believe happiness will be gathered if we make others happy first. Seeing others succeed in life because of ourselves, will create contentment and satisfaction in our heart. Many who asked me where I get my motivation and energy everyday to be cheerful and happy. I told them it is easy. As long as you are willing to give outwardly, the world in return will give you the happiness and energy of life back naturally.
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This was how I started my day to cheer a friend who is suffering from cancer and is on treatment currently. I sent Amrit a message while on the early run in my car, "My dear, how are you lately? Please be strong and have a strong mindset. I am sure you will make it. Please read my blog under this title, 'An ounce of courage to remove ton of distress'. It will help to build your strength." She replied, "Thanks uncle. By the way, I spend one hour reading your blog site. Very motivating. Thank you."
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Thank you Amrit, Daniel and Sim. Your messages gave me strength. Although they were just text message in words, they created values and hopes for me. These are the little thought and appreciation which could motivate a person, including myself. If I had not started to think for them first, these positive force would not have gathered. Their sweet words really made my day and I am sure there will be more to come tomorrow. Don't wait for something to happen, rather make something interesting happen and you would be amazed how powerful they are.
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I received this lovely phrase from Zarina who cares, "Sweet words are easy to say; sweet things are easy to buy; but sweet people are difficult to find."Breastfeeding is fantastic in terms of feeding and bonding along with your child, however it takes a toll that is negative the areas you will ever have. For instance, intercourse. Exactly What had previously been an enjoyable task for both you and your partner might be feel uncomfortable or perhaps downright awful if you are breastfeeding. Before you give up sex forever (or until your kid is not breastfeeding anymore), understand that it’s completely normal and, in many instances, it could be fixed. So just why does breastfeeding make sex hurt? Blame your lovely hormones.
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Breastfeeding makes your estrogen amounts plummet in the very very first 48 hours after pregnancy, Dr. Sherry A. Ross, composer of She-ology: The Definitive help guide to Womens Intimate wellness. Period informs Romper in a job interview. She claims it really is great deal like menopause, filled with hot flashes and drench-your-pajamas-sweat. Hormonal chaos hot ukrainian brides has begun that reduces your estrogen amounts while elevating your prolactin amounts, (prolactin being the hormone that promotes milk production) which ready your human anatomy for breastfeeding. This razor-sharp plunge in estrogen after delivery straight away causes your vagina to be thinner, less elastic, inflamed, and much more susceptible to damage, in accordance with Healthline. Also, there is less blood circulation to your vagina, causing a decrease in vaginal lubrication, Ross describes. Dryness, discomfort, burning, irritation, painful urination and painful sexual intercourse are typical signs. Once more this might seem like a terrible side effects of breastfeeding, but it is not really uncommon (nor hopeless).
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Fortunately more ladies are talking up and talking for their physicians about this. At six weeks postpartum, its reported that 50 to 60 % of females suffer with painful intercourse, and a 3rd of females continues to have signs 3 months after distribution, Ross claims. To repeat, this is certainly roughly 1 / 2 of postpartum ladies pain that is experiencing sex. Ross claims painful sexual intercourse, clinically referred to as dyspareunia, can occur to breastfeeding ladies and ladies who choose to not breastfeed (although on a smaller level). It is all area of the postpartum package.
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This past weekend the Stanton County Sheriff’s office was dispatched to a disturbance call involving a 14 year old female who is on probation and caused a disturbance in the rural family home to the point that her mother was so concerned with her safety that she locked/barricaded herself into her bedroom away from her daughter. The response by the Sheriff’s office was immediate and swift and upon arrival the 14 year old was taken into custody for being an Uncontrollable Juvenile and Disturbing the Peace (A jailable offense for all adults). She was detained and transported to the Sheriff’s office where state probation was contacted and required to do an intake on the juvenile and this specific situation. Again the 14 year old is already on probation for similar behavior and her actions have led to multiple law enforcement responses by the Sheriff’s office.
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It should be noted that no juvenile can be incarcerated without the permission or approval of the probation office prior to an actual custodial hearing by a judge held days later. Therefore, whatever they decide we are stuck with. On this occasion it was determined the juvenile female would not be detained and therefore was to be released. At this time, she was taken home by a probation representative to the same house her mother feared for her life and called 911 for help. Our hands are tied because our Nebraska state legislature believes it knows best as to when juveniles can be detained in a juvenile facility. I would love to mention multiple incidents involving the same inability to detain and house dangerous juveniles within Stanton County and Northeast Nebraska, but I cannot because all juvenile records are sealed by the court after adjudication.
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The problem is simple the “System is Broken” and needs to be addressed sooner than later by those that can make a difference. Law Enforcement officers for the most part are not a trained social worker or counselor, yet we are doing the best we can with the abilities we have and then only watch with frustration as the problem is sent home to where the problem often lies. You have 11 year olds recently involved in homicides in our larger Nebraska cities and they can’t even be charged or detained and are often sent home to parents that can’t or won’t take responsibility for them. I just don’t think the public realizes this issue and how large a problem it has become for every law enforcement agency in the state, no matter the size of the agency. Someone has to be responsible and often it’s only the fear of media attention that gets things done. I have threatened many news conferences to get immediate action and it usually gets something positive done immediately. I have been doing this job for 41 plus years in Nebraska and we used to be able to detain and jail juveniles as needed and it worked. Now we have no say and most agencies don’t even call probation anymore as they know the answer and don’t want to waste more of their valuable time.
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Most probation officers that we deal with do a great job in a very difficult profession and they only get to play the cards dealt to them by those in Lincoln. Everyone deserves second chances, but giving problem kids and adults multiple chances and committing violation after violation before something more is done to correct their behavior is not the answer. As a steward of Stanton County funds, I don’t like to spend more than $200.00 a day sometimes to house a juvenile offender. But, sometimes you have to swallow hard to protect the community we serve. Another incident this weekend in Stanton also shows the ill-effect of Probation. A 31 year old male from Lincoln, had recently moved there from California after his prison release. He shows up in Stanton completely under the influence of methamphetamine and extremely paranoid. After contact with the Sheriff’s office he was transported by Norfolk Fire EMS to the Norfolk hospital where he refused treatment and caused another disturbance at that location. He also was on probation and when contacted about him, his PO seemed less than concerned and he wasn’t in Lincoln anymore. I believe the public needs to know these incidents happen all the time and maybe they just don’t care about that our “Broken System”!
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The hypocrisy of our food producers are laid bare; they advertise “farm fresh,” but what we’re really consuming is generated at a place more akin to a factory assembly line. And the factory isn’t pretty. Cows, pigs and chickens are bred in such close quarters that they’re walking around in their own excrement. They’re cleaned at the slaughterhouse, but living a life of spending your days in their own feces seems to reveal why cases of e. coli and salmonella have risen so much over the years. If an infected cow is taking a dump at the feet of non-infected cows, it’s no surprise that infection spreads.
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Another startling piece of information learned from watching Food Inc. is just how big a part corn plays in our food consumption. Corn, or a derivative of it, is used someway in about 90% of what you’ll find on your supermarket shelves. The main reason for this is that corn is subsidized to the point that it’s cheaper to buy it than it is to produce it. Corn is the main ingredient used in the feed of not only our livestock, but now also in farmed fish. When you get down to it, we’re becoming corn.
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You will find below the first five pieces of advice which are worthy of your attention if you wish to enhance your visibility and be appointed to leadership positions. Of course, some advice will resonate more with you and some less. It is important to note that while writing these pieces of advice I thought specifically about our challenges as women, our needs and leadership experiences, all the time taking into account the stories that I had heard during these last fifteen years. In addition, I believe that most (if not all) of this advice applies to men, too.
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My first advice is to focus on finding out how you can make a difference in your life, your company, your family and friends’ lives, instead of just chasing one or another position within your organisation. Commit yourself to living a life that makes a real contribution - a meaningful life. Be ready to make choices, and take ownership of your choices and desires, because whether or not you succeed in your career and in your life depends on you.
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Take for instance, Monica Jonsson, who decided back in 2002 to leave behind a very successful twenty-year corporate career working in Sweden, Hong Kong and Luxembourg. She chose instead to be a pioneer and create the first coaching company in Luxembourg, CoachDynamix. Why? Because she wanted to make a real difference on a human level, and not only chase after quarterly revenue targets. Nowadays, she feels blessed to have a profession that she really loves doing and that gives her a sense of purpose, joy and fulfillment. This is also what Stephen R. Covey recommends in “The 8thHabit. From Effectiveness to Greatness”, when he talks about two possible roads in life: one to mediocrity and one to greatness and meaning, pointing out that each and every one of us can choose which road in life to take: starting by choosing between having a good day or having a great one.
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The importance of introspection. Analyse what you want, what your ambitions are and what makes you happy. “Happiness is found through who we are and not by what we do or what we have.” Therefore, it is important as a woman to explore who you are and what you feel passionate about, which in turn will allow you to find out what makes you happy. Many women admit that they spend the majority of their lives trying to make those around them happy: children, parents, partners, colleagues, and so on. However, ensuring the happiness of those around you is also linked to your own happiness. Therefore, you need to make yourself happy first, and put yourself first in life without being constrained by feelings of guilt. Some women dream about high responsibility jobs, making a lot of money, having power and prestige, being respected and having opportunities to control budgets and resources, as well as helping others grow. Other women dream about more free time for themselves and/or their families and are ready to sacrifice opportunities for advancement or trade them in the short-term. An old Romanian proverb puts it in a very simple way: “Think twice of what you ask God for. He might give it to you…”
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Indeed, understanding and accepting yourself will help you plan your future the way you want and help you feel happier with your choices. When Dr. Friedman teaches his Total Leadership concept he recommends that you start by thinking and writing about your core values, your leadership vision, and the current alignment of your actions and values. He suggests that you talk to peer coaches to get the whole picture about who you truly are. “Why peer coaches? Because an outside perspective provides a sounding board for your ideas and your challenges. It gives you a fresh way to see the possibilities for innovation and helps hold you accountable to your commitments.”
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To be effective in an organisation, your values must be compatible with the organisation’s values, and there should be an environment in which you feel you make a contribution; you are not just a number, but you truly contribute to a higher purpose. Find your place in your company, be part of a team that trusts you, and have a manager who believes in you. It is important to work under and with people who have strong professional ethics and are not manipulative, e.g. blocking your career progress in order to take all the credit for themselves. If you find yourself in this position and you don’t feel comfortable in your team, department and/or organisation, don’t hesitate too long in searching for new opportunities, either internally or with other companies. I have talked to numerous women, especially in the financial sector who, despite their efforts in doing their jobs very well and having the necessary skills to be promoted, felt they were stuck in the same functions for years with no real chance of being promoted to leadership positions.
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“Nosce te ipsum” – This is something taught in school in Romania as part of our mandatory Latin courses and translates simply as: know yourself. It is important for us holistically, and not just in our working lives. This one statement encourages us to think about and identify our strengths and areas for improvement. Of course, as well as spending time capitalising on your strengths, don’t forget to spend some time focusing on improving your weaknesses. I try to teach this to my marketing students in Germany and used to also ask my interns to complete a SWOT analysis of themselves. This was usually not an easy exercise for most of them as they had difficulties seeing their strengths and areas for improvement.
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Nobody is perfect, but if you manage to identify your strengths and use them in your personal development, you have many more chances to succeed in life than if you focus on your weaknesses – which cannot by their nature build performances and will only serve as excuses not to succeed. Indeed, “Your life only gets better when you get better.” (Brian Tracy), so work on improving your strengths as well as filling in the gaps in your knowledge by acquiring new skills. Leading people or organisations requires not only technical knowledge but also soft skills such as relationship building and effective communication.
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If you find it difficult to identify or confirm your strengths and weaknesses, American psychologist and Harvard professor Will Schutz, suggests in his book “The Human Element” that you ask your friends and colleagues. You might be surprised to discover skills that you didn’t think of being leadership related, or to find out that what you thought of as being a weakness is actually considered a strength by people who know you. Additionally, pay close attention to how you use your strengths, because if overused they could potentially become weaknesses.
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Knowing yourself also involves becoming aware of the way you perform best – are you a reader or a listener? How do you learn? Do you learn by writing? By talking? By doing? Do you make connections with people easily or do you let them approach you first? Do you work better alone or in a team? Do you work better as a subordinate or as a decision maker? Do you perform well under stress or do you need a highly structured and predictable environment? Do you work best in a big organisation or in a small one? These are all questions to be given detailed thought.
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What is certain is that if you wish to become a leader, you will need to commit to lifelong learning! You need to follow conferences and seminars in your professional field, and attend personal development and networking events - even if you have to pay for it out of your own pocket. There is always something new to learn, and keeping your mind open to new knowledge will enable you to be more competitive. You also need to stay informed about what’s going on in the world – what events and new technologies might affect your company, the market place, and your customers’ behaviours - primarily because you need to anticipate change. Therefore, you need to read magazines and professional journals and talk to people from other fields about the changes occurring in the market and in the world (yes, networking might actually help you improve yourself).
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Live and act according to your values, preferences and needs. This is the route to a truly authentic life, compared with acting just to please others, or saying what you think or know that others would like to hear. Being authentic also implies being real and open in your relationships, and this is also true about the way you communicate. There are many people who we instinctively identify as “false”, mainly because they spend too much time acting and use too many words with little or no substance.
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Try to find the management and leadership style which corresponds to your personality and your core values without trying to copy your superior or your mentor. Learning from them is usually extremely helpful, but try not to be someone else. Not only will you fail to convince other people (within the company and externally), but also your style will not be successful, efficient or sustainable if it doesn’t really reflect who you are. Authentic people are generally more balanced, secure and self-confident and tend to be trusted more because they are seen to care and listen. Being authentic also means sharing what you stand for, and accepting yourself the way you really are without putting on a mask to please your superiors.
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When the issue of leadership styles is raised, men are more likely than women to describe themselves in ways some management experts refer to as “transactional” leadership i.e. job performance is viewed as a series of transactions with subordinates. So, when it comes to the style of leadership, many men recognise that their power is taken from their high position and formal authority in a traditional command-and-control style. Women are more likely than men to use transformational leadership: motivating others by transforming their self-interest into the goals of the organisation, Women, use power based around charisma, work record, and contacts (personal power) as opposed to the male approach centred on organisational position, title, and the ability to reward and punish (structural power), thus the differences between approaches to leadership are apparent. In the words of a female leader: “Throughout my career in business I have seen women practicing a masculine leadership style that focuses on authority derived from their position, and relies on rewards and punishment in order for them to climb up the career ladder.” Instead of being admired for their adjustment to an alpha male environment, most of these women were perceived as emotional, difficult to work with or for, and too aggressive. What one gender sees as a strength may be perceived by the other as a weakness, hence the need to “be yourself”.
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The International Women’s Forum Survey of Men and Women Leaders found that most men and women describe themselves as having an equal mix of traits that are considered “feminine” (being excitable, gentle, emotional, submissive, sentimental, understanding, compassionate, sensitive, dependent), “masculine” (dominant, aggressive, tough, assertive, autocratic, analytical, competitive, independent) and “gender-neutral” (adaptable, tactful, sincere, conscientious, reliable, predictable, systematic, efficient). However, a study of Fortune 1000 female executives by Catalyst found some more than 10 years ago that 96% of them rated as critical, or fairly important, that they develop “a style with which male managers are comfortable.”
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This is important because there is no need to reject the feminine side anymore, but fully accept it and embrace it. The French feminist Simone de Beauvoir wrote in her book “The Second Sex” in 1949 that “One is not born, but rather one becomes a woman.” Her objective in writing the book was most likely to defend the feminine sex by claiming that men and women are born the same way and that our more masculine side was taken away from us by societal forces. However, we now know for sure, and have substantial research to prove the fact, that men and women are born neurologically different. Aside from gender-related strengths, many characteristics of leaders such as IQ and energy seem to come naturally when we are born, while we learn leadership skills (especially self-confidence), at home and at school, in the academic world and through sport. “And you learn other things at work through interactive experience, trying something, getting it wrong and learning from it, or getting it right and gaining the self-confidence to do it again, only better”, as Jack Welsh was noting in his book “Winning”. In addition, neurologists have shown how men operate using mostly the left side of their brain; the analytical sphere, while women are able to switch between both sides; analytical and emotional, more easily than men.
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It is important to have the courage to be yourself, and to think outside the box, because the key to success often lies in the way you look at and deal with a certain situation. Following less traveled roads offers generally unsought possibilities and solutions. In order to leverage your strengths on your own personal journey to success, you will need to fight stereotypes about the leadership styles of women and men. Indeed, findings show that there is a certain resistance to women’s leadership, mainly a set of “widely shared conscious and unconscious mental associations about women, men, and leaders. In the language of psychologists, the clash is between two sets of associations: communal and agentic. Women are associated with communal qualities… being especially affectionate, helpful, friendly, kind, and sympathetic, along with being viewed as interpersonally sensitive, gentle, and soft-spoken. By contrast, men are associated with agentic qualities, which convey assertion and control. These include being especially aggressive, ambitious, dominant, self-confident, forceful, self-reliant and individualistic.” This difference of perception will make people call dominant women “control freaks” while men would be called “passionate”. Being aware of these stereotypes does not take away the danger of misconception; therefore, don’t be afraid of being yourself or of any obstacles to success, as they will make you stronger just as much as they will challenge you.
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The conclusion of today’s article is from a great Harvard Business Review article of Peter Bregman entitled “Want to keep your job? Stop trying to fit in.” which is extremely strong, clear and positive: “Face it: You’re different. And the sooner you realise it, the sooner you embrace and leverage it, the more successful you’ll be. The same goes for your business!”This not-so-little guy has been skittering around our beach the last couple of days. It looks a lot like the smaller sand crabs on the beach, but isn't nearly as shy. They dive for their burrows as soon as they see movement near by, this guy just ambles away. Also, the sand crabs are much more sand-colored; maybe this guy is about to moult which would explain both the color and slow movement. I know how he feels, shedding one's skin is a drag (how else do you think I keep so young looking).
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2 years agoWhat man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
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And he said, A certain man had two sons: And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.Ok, I have to admit it – despite what I wrote in my blogpost the other day, I have started preparing a bit for Christmas
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A media company is an entity who disseminates information in various one of many possible forms including although not limited to; print, radio, television, outdoor advertising or through social support systems. For many years it cost to buy your message seem to others however with the invention with the internet and internet sites, you are able to obtain your message out without cost. With the invent from the internet we showed the world to more details but at what cost? Now anyone can be their very own media company and broadcast whatever information they need with practically no consequences.
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Prior to the web if a company or individual wanted to acquire their message out they can need to buy ad’ space in a newspaper, radio, television or outdoor media. The costs were too prohibitive for someone to however, these types of media so they really were not able for getting their message seem to others. A company who can afford these sorts of advertising put on the extender responsibly from when they were spending money. The media company also helped control the content by money content. They would not allow advertisers to distribute false or misleading information. So there was clearly a system of controls allowing the individual to take the advertising at face value and still have some faith in what it’s all about.
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Since the net and myspace, anyone can afford for getting their message in front of an individual. For virtually no cost, you can have a website with a website, web 2 . 0 page, blog, video content and live broadcasts. This is a big shift within the market that permits people like me to have my message over to people like you. This is a victory for that small people and firms but the larger companies still need their advantage of their favor. The consumers follows and see them more frequently than they’ll see me. They will have always more money to waste on advertising and SEO than I do. But it won’t mean I shouldn’t still make an effort to get my message out.
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With everyone obtaining the opportunity to acquire their message across we aren’t all playing with the same rules. The larger companies investing in space have to assume responsibilty and held accountable for his or her message but a person might just go ahead and post something with virtually no repercussions for message. Sure, they could lose followers or get flagged for posting racist or misleading information but which doesn’t stop them from posting it again or elsewhere. I am all for your First Amendment and Free Speech but we ought to be smarter consumers of knowledge. We can’t just say well I watched it on the world wide web so it should be true.
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Is it the responsibility in the media company to test all the details posted on his or her form of media or is he or she just presenting the woking platform for us to write? I guess you can say when they are paying to promote or distribute information and the working platform is receiving money they should have some accountability for what exactly is posted on the platform. In this point in time of instant information, it can be tough to figure out what exactly is accurate and was is misleading. But we’re also crossing precisely what is news and what’s advertising. Advertising has regulations on content and stipulations on false advertising like bait and switch, but news stories are very different. There are the reality of a story including who, what, when, why and where however there are opinions. These days opinions, personal beliefs and/or company priorities become part from the stories. When this happens the stories become biased and lean within a certain direction. This is where the client has to be mindful of where these are receiving their information.
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How can we stop false information from being broadcast, be simple answer is for no reason. We do not regulate our news! It isn’t the media companies’ job to manage news and decide what exactly is fact or fiction. As consumers we should ask questions and call people and firms out when these are not telling the truth. The bottom line is we should be more educated consumers and fact check our news. We ought to find a source that’s going to be truthful and offer us together with the 5 W’s (Who, What, When, Where, Why & How) of journalism without bias!I have been on a cookie-kick lately. They are just what I'm craving and since I'm still eating for two (nursing) I don't mind the extra calories!
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One of our neighbors has one of those free "libraries" at the end of their driveway where people are invited to take a book and/or leave a book. On a post-Thanksgiving walk we passed by this neighbor's lending library and, lo and behold, there sat a copy of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. I didn't hesitate to snatch it up! Sometimes the wait in reading a book proves worth it and such was the case with this title. I will echo Susanne in saying, "Wow!" Only I'll put it in bold: WOW!
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This book tells the story of Henrietta Lacks who died of cervical cancer back in 1951. During the period of her treatment and hospitalization at John Hopkins Hospital, doctors took samples from her cervix and sent them to the hospital's lab. There, Dr. George Gey attempted to grow her cells using the samples provided. Up to this point in history, cells had not been able to be reproduced in a lab setting; the cells always died. In the case of Henrietta's cancerous cells, they not only grew but they did so at a prolific rate. In fact, her cells are still reproducing to this day and are known and referred to as "HeLa cells". Her cells have been used in scientific research for these many decades, being used to help identify diseases, were involved with the atomic bomb, and have even been sent into space. While other human strains of cells have been developed since 1951, none have thrived in the same manner that the HeLa cells have, making Henrietta immortal in some sense of the word.
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What makes the story of Henrietta's cells noteworthy? A few things. First and foremost, samples of her cervix were removed and sent to the lab without her permission. While I would say that it is remarkably unclear that Henrietta would have had any objections to this being done, she was not informed and her consent was not obtained. By today's standards, this is a deplorable situation. By 1950 standards, it was par for the course. Her children, however, were raised in our more modern society where permission must be obtained to take samples of any sort from a person's body and/or used in any form or fashion. Up until the 1970's her children (and husband!) were not even made aware of the fact that their mother's cells were growing and being used in science experiments. When they were made aware they were less than pleased. Her childrens' purpose these days is not to make money off of the HeLa cells (although I and others would argue it would be their due according to present day practices) but to let the world know who Henrietta Lacks was so that she can receive due honor and recognition for her contribution to science.
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The other interesting angle on this story is that while the rest of the world has been curious as to the origins of the HeLa cells, so have her children been. Henrietta died when her children were very young (her youngest being but a few months old) and so they really never knew their mother. Her daughter Deborah is featured heavily in this book as having provided much information to author/reporter Rebecca Skloot. Deborah spent most of her life wondering what it was her mother had ultimately died of as no one had ever told her; it was not talked about. Henrietta kept the diagnosis of cancer a secret and the family was left in a state of curious chaos as a result of her silence on this matter of her health. There is a prevalent opinion in the family that John Hopkins Hospital killed their mother by experimenting on her body (i.e., over radiating her, causing her abdomen to be burned black). Unfortunately there is reason for them to speculate that Hopkins mistreated and harmed their mother as back in the 1880's and first half of the 1900's surgeons and scientist routinely "stole" black people and experimented on their bodies, deeming them to be of lesser worth to society. These activities are deplorable and it is very hard for those of us with modern sensitivities to even imagine that such things occurred! Yet they did, and the issues of race and segregation also make this book a thought provoking read as well as a sickening one as it is a very painful thing to consider how white surgeons treated their black patients (that is, if they agreed to treat them at all!).
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I think Skloot presents the facts of Henrietta, her cells and her family in a straight forward manner which "simply" educates the reader without attempting to persuade them of something. Never at any moment did I feel that Skloot was trying to train my thoughts in any particular direction. The book reads very much as an informative explanation as to the history of HeLa cells and the person they originated from. It is an emotional read by its very nature but the emotions are not provided for you. You simply cannot help but feel something as you read along. This is the mark of a good work of non-fiction in my humble estimation. I much prefer it when non-fiction writers present the facts (tastefully) and allow me to make up my own mind on the issues. Skloot kindly allowed me the freedom to discern and I appreciate that.
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Now, I wouldn't peg The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks as your typical Christmas read but when some books land on your lap you make the time to read them and I'm glad to have made the time for this title. One of my friends (who is a science-y major at our local university) saw the book sitting on my couch when she came over this past weekend. She pounced on it excitedly telling me that she had just recently done some experiments in the lab using HeLa cells and had recently become aware of Henrietta Lacks and her story. I'll be passing this book along to her to read next. Her background should make this read even more fascinating than it already is!
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I feel kind of funny saying that I would recommend this book to other readers. Non-fiction reads either strike a chord with individuals or they do not. You'll have to make up your own mind about this book. In my case, I'm very glad for Susanne's recommendation which caused me to learn more about Henrietta Lacks. I'll not soon forget her name or contribution to science and society. Nor should I.We spent the past weekend at River Glen Horse Trials in New Market, Tennessee. All of our horses were so wonderful! Elliot was fifth in the OP division! (His first Prelim after colic surgery, thanks Dr. Cate Mochal!) So cool to see him competing after such an involved surgery! The young horses were brave and brought their game faces to the table and our students all came home without jump penalties. Rockstars!
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Recently I've been teaching more children and I must admit, I'm loving it. Seeing the kids come out and trot the first time, or realize that they can jump, too. The look in their eyes is priceless. The moment we realize that a special horse opens the door to a whole new world for us...nothing compares. And only other horse people will truly understand. We love our horses, young or old, not only because of what they do for us, but because of who we are and who we can become with them.
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The kids we teach often bring out pictures, art projects, and letters for the horses they ride. Truth be told, a lot of them ride Tucker, my former one star horse. I think of the things Tucker has done for me, and the place he has in my heart, and I feel thankful. I think of the things Tucker is teaching others now, and feel equally thankful. He's taught my students to ride at the one star level, training level, some how to trot and some how to canter...and it's cool. He gets pictures and treats, letters and hugs like no other horse in the barn.
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Every horse deserves to have someone to love him, but how lucky is Tucker to have so many to love him?I have combination skin, so in the summer months I like to switch to a lighter PM moisturizer (for my T-zone's sake). Right now I've been using EVOLOGIE's Stay Clear Cream ($62 for 1oz) to keep the acne at bay, because blackheads are loving me right now and it's just not cool. This is the sample size from their duo pack. It has 2% salicylic acid, and they don't advertise what the pH level is, but it must be somewhere around the right mark because it seems to be working. I use this everywhere else but my cheeks, since my cheeks have enough trouble staying hydrated and I never have a problem with acne there. My dry cheeks are divas and get a separate night cream. Wow, I never thought I would become the person that uses two separate night creams, but combination skin is a pain in the butt. (Read more: April Favorites, May Favorites)
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There is no better time to use a setting powder than when it is 80+ degrees Fahrenheit outside. My go-to powder is the NYC Smooth Skin Loose Face Powder in Translucent ($2.79 for .7oz), because it's cheap and it works. I use this on my T-zone whenever I apply any face products, and sometimes even when I'm not wearing anything. My current AM moisturizer has SPF 30 in it, which tends to make me look a little greasy, so this clears that right up. It's really an amazing drugstore powder. It's no Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder, but it does everything a powder's supposed to do, and did I mention it's $3? (Read more: 2013 Makeup Favorites, June 2013 Makeup Routine)
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An important hot weather staple to me is a cute, comfortable pair of sandals. I almost exclusively buy Sofft and Aerosoles shoes nowadays, because I have countless foot/ankle/back problems, and I don't like being any more uncomfortable than I have to be. I got these babies for $20 at Marshalls (God bless Marshall's), and they're so soft and cushiony! They're also cute, and the ankle strap really makes my feet feel secure, since I sprained my right ankle months ago. And yes, I took off the size-8 sticker before I wore them out. The world now knows what shoe size I am, rejoice. I think they might have been last season or something, since I can't find them on the website, but just check out Marshalls/TJ Maxx for discounted, comfy shoes!If you're still itching for more, check out these other lovely bloggers!
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Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Bloglovin' | Google + | Email NewsletterHi, friends! It's around that time of the month (no, not that time of the month) when I usually do my monthly favorites posts. Usually I'd talk about all the new products I tested and my favorite discoveries of that month, but things are going to work a little differently this month. For the majority of February, I was either using products I've already mentioned on the blog, or testing new products that I haven't made a decision on yet, so I'm not quite ready to share my thoughts on them so early in the game.
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So I figured, rather than talking about the products you guys already know I like in a redundant Favorites post, how about we start the train rolling on some new products? Here's a sneak peek to some of the products you'll see mentioned on the blog within the next month or two:Hi, guys! Sorry that I haven't updated in a few days! I have been off at the beach relaxing, but I'm back now, so things will hopefully resume in full swing. I'm very honored to have recently done an interview with with Rachel from The Style Line, and I want to share it with you all. You can read interview below, or by clicking the image above. Hope you all enjoy!
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SUMMER LOVIN: This summer has consisted of a little bit of traveling, as well as a great deal of relaxation. I traveled to NYC earlier this summer, and have two upcoming beach trips. This summer I’ve been listening to a lot of Florence + the Machine, The Black Keys, Dan Auerbach’s solo album, Kings of Leon, James Vincent McMorrow, Mumford & Sons, Diane Birch, Regina Spektor, Dawes, and Band of Horses. As far as what I’ve been wearing, being in the heart of the South, the main objective is to survive the ridiculous heat. So far, I’ve worn a lot of light, flowing fabrics. Chiffon is great for this time of year.By Leigh Clifton
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This is the original open letter (below) I wrote to Melissa Walker in August of 2011. I wrote it on the off chance that she might see it and that it might have some impact or maybe even change her mind. Little did I know that it would ultimately have the biggest impact and perhaps saved her life. I am proud of this; not for the writing, but for the reading of it. I’m proud that common words of sense and decency transcended an almost demonic grip on a young, vibrant, beautiful woman, and made her change her mind. It’s as simple as that.
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On Tuesday December 27, three days before Melissa Walker made her announcement on Fox News that she was divorcing David Perry, I received these two emails below the original letter. Because David Perry has written to me before and used aliases, I wanted to substantiate the source before I printed them. I made some calls and ultimately came to the conclusion that the one from her sister Cassandra really WAS from her; the other one from Melissa I had to conclude was genuine as well. I waited to speak to Melissa’s sister Cassandra because I wanted to give Melissa her privacy for as long as possible, knowing that once the news broke she would get no peace.
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He did this with Luana, and several OTHER women he was with; ask him about Ann Morris, who he left after almost 13 years when he met Kelly. He told his friends he had met a “rich bitch with money” and was moving to Florida. Ask him about another Kellie, a woman with who he had an affair AND a child while he was still married to Luana. He got fired from the Outback Steakhouse for trying to choke out a cook who didn’t cook his food right. Luana said that he would often choke her so tight that she would lose consciousness. He also told her he could kill her and they would never find her body.
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I hear he’s quite the charmer… has he tried to “teach” you how to iron yet? Has he done the laundry “for you” to be nice? Has he picked out what he wants you to wear? Has he shown up with flowers at the hospital or when he comes home to your place? Has he called you MANY times a day “just to say he loves you”? Have you seen him vacuum until he can see the lines in the rug? What about his car? Or yours? Is it meticulous? Can you eat a French fry in it if you want without him getting paranoid? What about the linen closet? Has he folded everything perfectly and lined the colors up just so? What about the kitchen cabinets? All the food labels facing forward and lined up like ducks in a row? How about the bathroom? Shower curtain just so as well?
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We heard that he applied for a marriage license… could it be to keep you quiet? So you couldn’t testify against him in a court of law? Interesting how things are working out, eh? What does your family think of all this? Do they even care about you? David Perry only thinks about himself, let’s be clear on that. It will only be a matter of time before you start to see the real abuser he is known to be… again... DOCUMENTED PROOF. Because trust me.. He WILL show his true colors and you will be blindsided by it. Be careful; you could be his next victim.
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I met Dave Perry in April. He treated me like an angel from day one, through and to the moment I told him I no longer wanted to speak with him. By the way, he has respected my request. Was it wrong of me to ignore the media? Maybe it was wrong. There was never any evidence to prove the accusations. Still there is no evidence. I wanted to believe his words that he is innocent. I pray he is. Was it stupid of me to follow my heart? Maybe it was stupid. I try to live life with an open, honest, loving, forgiving heart. Do I hope and pray that he who is responsible for the disappearance/murder of Kelly pay in full for what he has done? Yes, please, find the evidence today to put that person away. Whoever it is should pay and I have prayed for that from the beginning. Try not to be judgmental. You do not know me.
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First I want to say I am Melissa’s older sister, And I am just as disgusted as you all are, and I send my prayers to Kelly’s friends and family and I also want to say I want this case to be solved and the truth to be revealed. Then I want to say that Melissa is smart, she’s kind, she’s beautiful, she is a great sister, and a wonderful aunt to 2 little boys. She is also woman that was sucked in by Dave’s charm and his lies. She is not the only woman that has fallen for it RIGHT???? There is no way that she had any knowledge of his intentions to harm Kelly in any way, or that she even knew about Kelly until it was too late. I want to be clear one thing.... MY SISTER WOULD NEVER EVER HURT ANYONE, SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH A MAN WHO LED HER TO BELIEVE HES SOMETHING THAT HE’S NOT, DID SHE MAKE A MISTAKE? DID SHE HAVE BAD JUDGEMENT IN CHARACTER? IT SEEMS SO, BUT SHE WOULD NEVER, I MEAN NEVER, CONDONE, SUPPORT OR STAND BY SOMEONE WHO HAD DONE SOMETHING SO TERRIBLE.YES SHE HAS BEEN WARNED BY PINELLAS COUNTY DETECTIVES, BUT THERE’S THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF HORRIBLE CRIMES AND DONE YEARS IN PRISON THEN LATER RELEASED, ALL CHARGES DROPPED AND AN "IM SORRY", LIVES RUINED FOR NOTHING. WHAT I WANT IS FOR PINALLES COUNTY DETECTIVES TO GET THE EVIDENCE THEY NEED FOR A CONVICTION SO I DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY SISTER, AGAIN MY PRAYERS ARE WITH KELLY AND HER FAMILY, AND I WRITE THIS IN SUPPORT OF THE TRUTH.
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Have a great Sunday!Blackberry Winter by Sarah Jio was the final book of 2014 for me. I read most of it on New Years Eve and hurried up to finish it that night (DORK , I KNOW!) to bump up my stat ha. It felt like the right way to end the year since I began the year reading 2 of her other books. Now I think I have only two more to catch up on and I'll have read them all, but I do want to re-read The Violets of March. I know I gave it to someone to read and now I want to read it again, #bookproblems !
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There are times when our loved ones are far away, and we wish with all our hearts that we could share a moment with them, as if by magic. Historically, jewelry was used as love tokens, mementos and keepsake as far back as ancient Mesopotamia. These objects gave a tangible presence of the loved one, and the fact that the practice still endures in modern times, speaks for its importance. However, once given, the giver lost the thread of connection, and once received, the wearer had to rely on imagination. And despite being common folklore and sci-fi fantasies, being able to communicate through objects like jewelry was inconceivable just a few years ago.
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It does feel undeniably luxe, making the commercial residential. There’s a reason that most children don’t fantasize about owning a modest ranch home. They dream of an abundance that is bulletproof, fortress-like: getting locked inside a Costco, sleeping in the Mattress Emporium, having everything you need wrapped around you like a hug. And though even a child knows you can’t live in a store forever, the fantasy becomes achievable if you bring the store home. You can have a soda machine in the kitchen and a McDonald’s in the foyer, just like Richie Rich.
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A certain kind of affluent adult still nurses this dream. My dad’s parents — middle-class but pathologically frugal — wouldn’t even buy him a baseball glove, and he will forever be correcting this sense of deprivation. When he finally got a house with a guest room, the first thing he did was stock it with a minibar and one of those hotel-style luggage stands. He’s got the same set of steak knives that they gave you at a Lone Star Steakhouse, the exact sheets you sleep on at a Hyatt, and attics, garages and storage spaces filled with backups of everything he needs. For him, the American dream isn’t Rolexes and Ferraris. It’s inventory.
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This proposition is particularly seductive to people for whom a purchase is a fraught, wincing thing. Their dream of prosperity isn’t a store where you can buy anything you want but a store where everything is free because you already bought it. This distinction becomes especially striking in light of supply-chain shortages that continue to reverberate years after the COVID-19 lockdowns. During the pandemic, many Americans had the rattling experience of being able to afford something, but not being able to buy it. It makes sense, then, that the delight of the in-home pinball machine lies not just in unlimited gameplay but also in never having to scrounge for a quarter.
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Ray Oldenberg coined the term “third space” to describe the public spaces — cafes, parks, stores, churches — that are essential in fostering a sense of community outside of home (the first space) and work (the second). But as the cubicle class sees the second space fold into the first, the third space seems to be following suit. Why go to a park when you have a yard, or to a cafe when you can have barista-quality espresso in your kitchen? When anything you need can be brought to your door, there’s no need to go to a store. Essentially, we have the store at home.
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I want to deride this impulse as isolationist, a symptom of everything that’s wrong with America, but also, I get it. In my city, it takes me 30 minutes to walk to my favorite grocery store. Naturally, I wish it were closer. I begin to wish it were a 15-minute walk, but then I’d wish it were only five minutes away, or better, across the street, or best, on the ground floor of my building, so I wouldn’t even need to step outside. You begin with reasonable comforts: an in-unit washer and dryer, a little patch of green, a smooth commute. But if you follow this optimization to its logical end, if you design your perfect city, your perfect home, you can quickly find yourself alone in a bunker.
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Lietuvos Rytas notched a very important 70-65 win Thursday night at Siemens Arena over Unicaja Malaga to improve to 2-2 in Group E of the Top 16. The result tied the Lithuanian champs with Caja Laboral for second place after the latter lost to group-leader Panathinaikos in Athens. Unicaja fell to 1-3 with only two games remaining in the Top 16 stage. Both will be must-win matches in order to challenge for a spot in the Quarterfinal Playoffs. Khalid El-Amin paced the winners with 18 points and Martynas Gecevicius scored 17 to go with 6 rebounds, while Kenan Bajramovic added 12 points. Joel Freeland recorded 19-points and 8 rebounds to lead the visitors, while Berni Rodriguez and Robert Archibald added 12 points apiece. Rytas will travel next week to play Panathinaikos in Athens, while Unicaja will face a tough challenge in their visit of Caja Laboral’s Fernando Buesa Arena.
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The game was fast-paced, but defensive-minded in its opening quarter, with Unicaja trying to run on an alert Rytas defense that showcased its athletic ability. The first three minutes of play saw just a pair of buckets evenly split by both teams. It was only when Freeland opened things up with a triple that the offenses got going, with dynamic playmaker El-Amin leading the charge for the home side with a layup and a triple that tied the game at 9-9. Crisp ball movement and cutting at both ends made for an entertaining game throughout the quarter with plenty of good looks, but while Unicaja spread the ball in its half-court sets, El-Amin was still the main offensive catalyst for the Lithuanian champs, scoring 9 of his team’s first 13 points. Berni Rodriguez finally got on the board with a free throw for Unicaja and Gecevius did the same for Rytas, but the quarter ended pretty much the way it started: with some lock-down defense that allowed just one field goal in the final two minutes and a 17-17 standstill after one.
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A big-time block by Cemal Nalga hinted at a prolonged defensive battle and seemed to spark the home side, who pulled ahead on a DJ Strawberry triple before Rodriguez answered with another long-range shot that kept the visitors on top, 22-24. With the game slowing down to a halfcourt affair, Unicaja went to the pick-and-roll in an effort to get its big men involved, while Rytas got plenty of good perimeter looks, but was just not able to convert. Gecevicius finally nailed a triple that seemed to wet his scoring appetite and highlight a shooting duel with Rodriguez, who tied it at 31-31, also from beyond the arc. A Newley assist provided Bajramovic with a dunk opportunity and the forward did not pass it up, rattling the rim with a one-hander that preceded another deep ball from Gecevicius that scored it 38-33, tying the game’s maximum difference to that point and urging visiting head coach Chus Mateo to call timeout. Unicaja labored to get good looks but took long possessions to manufacture them, often settling for contested jumpers with the shot clock winding down. Again, the period ended with a defensive tone and a tight score, 39-35, that had Gecevicius surpassing El-Amin as the game´s leading scorer, with 12 points.
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The home point guard started the second half aggressively with a gorgeous right-handed shot over Simanovic, and Rytas was able to quickly establish the biggest lead of the game at 44-37 after a Bajramovic back-to-the-basket move. As Unicaja again struggled to get in a rhythm offensively, Mateos’s crew tried to push the ball, but it was El-Amin who burned them on the fast break with an accurate assist for a streaking Newley, who converted the three-point-play to establish the lead at 10 points. The Spanish side then went to Freeland and Archibald inside in hopes of establishing a post presence, but young center Jonas Valenciunas stood his ground on the defensive end and kept active on the boards. The hosts always seemed to be a step quicker when attacking, executing with constant motion, but Archibald was able to make it a double-digit difference again from the line and, once the visiting defense adjusted some and sealed the glass, Rodriguez narrowed the margin to 51-46 on a well-timed feed by Roderick Blakney. A buzzer beating alley-oop tap-in by Freeland allowed Unicaja to keep that difference, entering the fourth quarter at 53-48.
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Rytas wasted no time hitting first in the final period with a Gecevicius triple, but Freeland showed his range by answering right back with a long two-pointer. The charge kept coming by the visitors, as Rodriguez capitalized on Rytas’s soft defense to make it a one-possession game with a triple, and Archibald kept it that way, 58-55, after a nice left-handed scoop by Milko Bjelica. But just as a change of momentum seemed to creep up on the hosts, Rytas punched back with a Bjelica bank shot and a hustle play that started with a Newley steal, continued with an El-Amin assist and finished with a Bajramovic fast-break layup that made it 64-56 with just five minutes left, forcing Mateo to call timeout. But the break did little to stop the hosts’ attack, as El-Amin shook loose for a layup and Newley punctuated the 8-0 run with a powerful dunk. Unicaja clawed back with a Freeland face-up jumper at the 1:47 mark that made it a two-possession game at 68-62, but Terrell McIntyre’s first field goal of the game, a corner three that tightened the score to 68-65 with 7 second to go, was ultimately not enough. El-Amin calmly hit both ensuing free throws and Uros Tripkovic missed a late triple to give Rytas their second victory of the Top 16.
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If you’re ready to get after it today, click here to sign up, and I’ll see you on the inside!During this Thanksgiving season, we commemorate the coming together of English settlers and Native-Americans at Plymouth Colony, for what historians have dubbed “The First Thanksgiving.” This signal event brought the first Plymouth settlers and their Native-American neighbors together to feast, following a harrowing year that witnessed the deaths of half of the Pilgrim population during the winter of 1620-21. Yes, the survival of the remaining Pilgrims and the establishment of a viable colony is something to celebrate. Our national holiday, however, tends to overlook the momentous event that occurred on November 11, 1620: the signing of the Mayflower Compact.
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Histories of the Mayflower and Plymouth Colony have portrayed the settlers who came to Plymouth as religious dissenters, Protestants who were seeking religious freedom in the New World. That is mostly true, but a number of the Mayflower passengers were not “Separatists” escaping religious persecution, but rather were “Strangers,” men who came to America seeking to make money through trade. Indeed, the establishment of Plymouth Colony was financed by a group of London “Merchant Adventurers” who were expecting the Mayflower’s passengers to send back goods (primarily furs) from which they would derive substantial profits. When the Mayflower dropped anchor near Cape Cod in November 1620, therefore, there were essentially two classes of people who, when they went ashore, would need to co-exist, and work together to fulfill their obligations to the Merchant Adventurers. The leaders of the Mayflower voyage therefore thought it wise to reach agreement over how exactly the new colony was going to be governed. What emerged was a written “Compact,” or agreement, by which the settlers agreed to be bound in the conduct of their affairs once on land.
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Why did the Mayflower passengers draw up the Compact? We have to step back in time for a moment. Before the Mayflower ever set sail for America, the Merchant Adventurers had to obtain a royal charter from the King authorizing the voyage, much as the Jamestown founders had obtained a charter for their voyage to Virginia back in 1606. The Plymouth Colony charter set forth where the settlers were to go, what lands they were authorized to settle, and the physical boundaries of the settlement itself. In the case of the Mayflower, the charter specified “Virginia,” which at that time included the areas now encompassed parts of New York, New Jersey, and the mid-Atlantic region. The passengers of the Mayflower therefore thought that was where they were headed. But when the Mayflower approached the coast of North America, they were far north of their intended destination, where they encountered violent storms that threw them off course. The Mayflower found itself being tossed and turned on the coast of New England. Facing extreme danger in continuing the voyage south towards “Virginia,” the Mayflower instead dropped anchor at Cape Cod. And it was there that the Mayflower passengers decided to settle. The problem, however, was that the Plymouth Colony’s charter did not authorize them to settle there! They were violating the terms of their charter, and in choosing to settle at Cape Cod, they were operating outside the laws of England. For that reason, the men of the Mayflower concluded that they needed a legally binding agreement amongst themselves, while they sought to obtain a new charter from the Crown that would cover the new territory they were about to occupy in New England.
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Having undertaken for the Glory of God, and Advancement of the Christian Faith, and the Honour of our King and Country, a Voyage to plant the first Colony in the northern Parts of Virginia; Do by these Presents, solemnly and mutually, in the Presence of God and one another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil Body Politick, for our better Ordering and Preservation, and Furtherance of the Ends aforesaid: And by Virtue hereof do enact, constitute, and frame, such just and equal Laws, Ordinances, Acts, Constitutions, and Offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general Good of the Colony; unto which we promise all due Submission and Obedience. IN WITNESS whereof we have hereunto subscribed our names at Cape-Cod the eleventh of November, in the Reign of our Sovereign Lord King James, of England, France, and Ireland, the eighteenth, and of Scotland the fifty-fourth, Anno Domini; 1620.
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