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Ford has the delivered the first three E85 Escape Hybrids out of a total of 20 in a demonstration fleet that will be delivered to select fleet customers in six states. (Earlier post.) The first three went to the Department of Energy, the Renewable Fuels Association (RFA) and the Governors’ Ethanol Coalition (GEC).
Ford first introduced a prototype of the E85 Escape hybrid prototype at the Washington AUto Show in 2006. (Earlier post.)
The E85 Escape Hybrid produces about 25% fewer greenhouse gas emissions than a gasoline-fueled Escape Hybrid, according to Ford.
The Escape Hybrid E85 research project is a learning lab for Ford's flexible-fuel vehicle (FFV) programs for 2010 and beyond. Tailpipe emissions of flexible-fuel vehicles still represent one of the biggest challenges and priorities.
Currently, no manufacturer’s FFV has been certified as a partial zero-emissions vehicle (PZEV). A full-hybrid application presents even more evaporative challenges because the vehicle operates on electric power alone without actuating the evaporative vacuum system that operates when the gas engine is in use.
Although we currently do not have plans to produce the Escape Hybrid E85, the research from this technology could lead to breakthroughs in even more advanced technologies.—Sue Cischke, Ford Senior Vice President, Sustainability, Environment and Safety Engineering
In 2008, Ford will add hybrid versions of the Ford Fusion and Mercury Milan midsize sedans to its current offerings of the Escape and Mariner hybrids. Last year, the company produced 250,000 E85-capable vehicles, including the Ford F-150 and the Lincoln Town Car.
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Today, we look at why more SUVs and crossovers don't offer hybrid powertrains, Faraday Future scales back production plans, and three battery energy-storage sites come online in California, including one from Tesla. All this and more on Green Car Reports.
See the Lucid Air electric luxury sedan hit the road in this new video.
Bowing to what seems like the unavoidable reality of its situation, Faraday Future is reportedly scaling back its U.S. production plans and cutting its planned vehicle lineup from seven models to two.
Volkswagen suggests engine downsizing may be done. It claims real-world emissions tests will prove too challenging for smaller engines.
Utility-scale energy storage is about to get its biggest real-world test yet. Three California energy-storage sites are now online, including one from Tesla.
After acquiring a controlling stake in Mitsubishi last year, the Renault-Nissan Alliance is now the world's largest maker of battery-electric cars.
SUVs and crossovers are extremely popular right now, but why don't more of them offer hybrid powertrains?
We test drove the 2017 Subaru Impreza, the latest version of one of the most fuel-efficient all-wheel-drive vehicles in the U.S. market.
Several high-profile recalls have brought more attention to recalled vehicles on used-car lots. A new lawsuit may compel dealers to repair those recalled cars.
Finally, the 2018 Ford Expedition three-row SUV debuts with a lighter aluminum body, as well as a 3.5-liter twin-turbocharged EcoBoost V-6 and 10-speed automatic transmission shared with the F-150 full-size pickup truck.
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Wilton Disney Frozen 2 Birthday Candle, 3.5 In.
Click Image for Gallery
Wilton Disney Frozen 2 Birthday Candle, 3.5 in.
- 365 by Whole Foods Market products give you that dance-down-the-aisles feeling, virtual aisles too! Our huge range of choices with premium ingredients at prices you can get down with makes grocery shopping so much more than tossing the basics in your cart.
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Pregnancy Yoga Flow
New Pre and Post Natal Yoga Flow Classes coming in NW3 - starting end of January 2023.
If you would like to arrange some private lessons online, please do get in touch. I would be more than happy to assist you in your journey.
'For pregnant women who love to move!' Pregnant women new to yoga also very welcome.
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I was in my Granny’s kitchen eating extra-special cake,when the walls began to tremble and the roof began to SHAKE.KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Ring! Ring! Ring! Oh MY – a dino’s at the door.And now it’s taken Granny ? SOMEONE STOP THAT DINOSAUR!Chase down the GRAN-NAPPING brontosaurus in this rollicking, rhyming, ROAR-some romp. Can you catch the naughty dinosaur and get back to Granny’s house before Mum comes home at six o’clock?From Alex English and Ben Cort, the bestselling illustrator of Alien Loves Underpants, comes an irresistibly rib-tickling book that kids will want to read again and again ? and AGAIN!
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With travel websites so easily available, does it still make sense to use a travel agent for corporate travel plans? Absolutely, because time is money and just getting there doesn’t mean your money is well spent. Business travel agency consultants work to help their customers have the best possible travel experiences. Here are some things you need to know about travel agents:
Travel Agents Don’t Cost You More
Perhaps the biggest misconception about using a corporate travel consultant is that it will cost your business more for travel. The reverse is true. When your company tries to use self-planned travel, you waste money. A recent interview with an industry veteran in The Atlantic points out that more businesses have gone back to using corporate travel agents because:
- Travel Agents have access to better deals than can be found online by individuals.
- Your employees waste a lot of time making travel plans.
- Needing to change itineraries can cost you a lot of money.
- Not knowing the fine print of travel details can be very expensive.
Travel Agents Have Your Back
Sometimes people are afraid that a travel agent will be pushy. As a matter of fact, your interest is all that a travel agency cares about. They know happy clients are the customers that give them referrals and more business, so their total concern is making sure you are taken care of on your trip. Here is what corporate travel agency consultants can do for you:
- Get you a better itinerary than you can find yourself.
- Get extra amenities, better rooms or an upgrade that is only offered to agents.
- Be available for your business travelers in an emergency or to answer questions.
- Make sure your business travelers stay safe.
Travel Agents Offer Priceless Advice
With a global network of consultants available 24/7, GTI travel consultants are able to understand the ins and outs of any business travel situation. Ever thought about what you would do if one of your travelers had an emergency? With a travel agent, you and your traveler have peace of mind. Your business traveler will have someone they can call who knows how to help in any situation, big and small:
- Tickets, restaurant advice, or rebooking a flight.
- Help with a personal problem or lost luggage.
- Assistance with a medical or dental issue.
Travel Agents Help You Manage Business Travel
One of the most important ways that a small business can save money while having better business travel experiences for their employees is to have business travel agency management. assistance. Management assistance can make sure you:
- Have effective and streamlined business travel policies in place.
- Use best practices in planning and executing business travel.
- Keep track of your business travel expenses effectively.
- Train your employees in compliance with policies.
- Track compliance and cost savings.
Who Wouldn’t Use a Travel Agent?
Considering all of the benefits to your small or large business to using a travel management company, the question isn’t whether you should use a travel agent, but why you wouldn’t!
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A pay stub is a document that is earned by an employee from an organization, which contains the salary or remuneration he/she has earned for a given period and other details. The document shows the salary, deductions made to calculate taxable income, as well as the effects of taxation on the final sum that is to be paid.
Some reasons why is it important
- Pay stubs are important papers that serve as a basis for the calculation of income tax. To avoid problems with tax calculations, an employer is required by law to provide a payslip to their employees for tax purposes.
- They display details on how much money you earn and how this money is calculated. All deductions from your salary such as taxes, insurance payments, and benefits are included in your pay stub. This way, you always know how much money you get after all these deductions have been removed.
- Employees can use their payslips when applying for bank loans or opening bank accounts since they contain information about their salary which will be used when calculating the amount that they can borrow or deposit into an account.
- From time to time, employee requests for payslips are used by managers to see if the way they calculate salary is correct. It is also easy to spot errors that have been made since all details are displayed on a payslip.
How can you make pay stubs easier with online payrolls?
The answer is simple, just use an online payrolls service. With the advancement of technology, especially in software development, there are now many companies that have come up with different online services that are based on payrolls for companies, including pay stub creator, which can sometimes really save the day. Online payrolls can improve an organization’s time and money since they do not involve files that need to be carried around from place to place. They also allow employees to see their payslips anytime, anywhere as long as they have internet access.
Why is this easier?
- Employees don’t need to go through their managers to request their payslips; they can directly log in and see them whenever they want. There is no need to wait in line at the human resources department, call or go personally for your payslip details when you can see them online anytime, anywhere you are.
- Managers won’t be overwhelmed by having many files of paper works that need supervision since all information will be stored electronically. All employees’ data can easily be managed because it is stored in one database, which makes management easier too.
- You save money transporting files from one office to another since all information is electronic and does not take much space on your hard disk drive or flash drive, which you can carry around with you.
- It is easy to track payslips since managers can easily keep track of all their employees’ files on the system without the use of files that are carried around from place to place.
- Communication between different employees is easier because they just have one portal which contains information about them and this portal can be accessed by everyone who needs it anytime, anywhere as long as they have an internet connection. This makes communication faster and more efficient since interactions will no longer need meetings where lots of time are wasted trying to reach a consensus.
- All information is stored electronically, therefore companies are guaranteed security against data loss or corruption caused by human error or natural disasters such as floods, fires, etc. Moreover, the system updates immediately when information is altered or added, thus security is not compromised.
Not only can an individual use a pay stub for tax calculations and applying for bank loans, but it is also a useful tool that helps employees and managers to communicate with each other in one place. Having a payroll system allows information access to be faster while ensuring security against data loss.
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In the new compliance Learning Management Systems trends, it is becoming an essential part of the online learning process that compliance tools should be integrated into the system. Most of the companies are on the way to implementing this in their LMS. This feature helps to meet some basic regulatory needs, and they are able to deliver eLearning solutions that are company-specific and generated in an automated way.
Today, it has become necessary for organizations and the Learning and Development sectors to train their employees about its work culture, rules and regulations, terms, policies, and safety guidelines. There might be a possibility that some of the employees may fail to follow workplace values and ethics. This may result in future risks and can turn into huge losses.
But with technological advancement, most companies are implementing corporate Learning Management Systems that comply with recent trends.
However, there are some effective ways for the utility industries to increase compliance and reduce risks with LMS. Let's have a look:
Irrespectively, the eLearning systems can be specially designed for compliance training that mitigates the risks in the industry. They could also be associated with workplace incidents. Employees may fail to engage with longer duration. Sometimes, the session might seem boring to them, and they lose interest in the compliance training sessions.
But, for a rescue, the modern Learning Management Systems can deliver compliance courses that aim to boost employee engagement and retention. Thus they entice learners to complete this training.
Modern LMS offers a special feature for the employees. They can keep the record and tracks of employees based on their training performance. There is a database of learners who have completed compliance training. There will be an option to monitor the progress level of employees. They are also able to generate reports based on their training performance.
There is also a need to set time rules for drawing some inspiration and motivate learners to undergo the possible compliance training. It is also needed for finishing the works within the targeted deadlines. For this purpose, there could be features that include generating automated reminders, messages, and notifications to ensure that the learning is on track. It also helps boost the eLearning training by delivering specially curated course curriculums and content and some reference study materials to the learners. Expanding the knowledge area will boost their energy to learn more and dive deeper into the subject that eventually help in employee engagement.
One more effective way to increase compliance and reduce risk with LMS is making the best use of content development strategies. In a Learning Management System, if they are able to deliver engaging courses that instill curiosity to learn more in the learner's mind, it could be a big advantage for the company. This could be done by incorporating scenarios, sketches and illustrations, moving images and animations, practical examples, infographics, and problem-solving skills. Consequently, these all strategies help keep the learners engaged in the training until they get certified once the training is completed.
In any learning management system, it is always an essential part of the training that the right talents should be acknowledged and recognized. Once an employee finishes the training, they must receive a certificate. In addition, after the completion of the course, there should be personalized emails that should be sent to the learners stating that they have done a great job and their hard work has been appreciated.
If they want, they can start learning something else that is relevant to their job roles if they wish to boost their knowledge and expand their skill sets. Some suggestions on the appropriate training courses could also be given to them. Modern LMS has these features inbuilt that they are able to provide the learners automatically generated certificates and words of appreciation.
It is equally important to administer the content for the betterment of the learners. Therefore, it becomes necessary to have an LMS that is able to deliver on the provision of newly engaged learners by providing them compliance content that is natively located within the system. This kind of off-the-shelf content development is indeed a significant advantage. Also, generally, an organization always wants to offer course material that incorporates the organization's Learning Management System in a simple and easy way with previously curated learning channels, books, ebooks, audiobooks, audio notes, and videos.
The new trends in compliance-specific LMS support the best kind of features to provide an advanced experience in reducing risks. They have specially built features to meet the mandatory regulatory needs of the companies. Organizations can vary from one to another and so they can have a varied range of industry verticals where some recent technologies are deployed to adhere to suitable learning needs.
In today's world, it is important to stay updated with trending policies and regulations. Modern Learning Management Systems are able to provide the employees' solutions to access relevant training modules and compliance courses. This, in turn, helps them to boost their engagement with the learning sessions and offer a great extent of retention levels. Thereby, these updated features help in reducing risks and increasing compliance.
At Gyrus Systems, you can develop and retain teams with a high level of performance by delivering innovation, efficiency, quality, and they eventually help you to increase productivity. Industries like power generation, energy resources, waste-water treatment, and other companies like transmission companies face complex and costly rules and regulations.
Here at Gyrus Systems, we pay attention to the recent trends in the regulations in the industry. We understand the basic needs and divert resources from business functions and slow down their internal processes. GyrusAim offers you an advanced experience by automating compliance by providing training functions to focus on your customers and business.
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Registered Agent Services 120: If you remain in the marketplace for a brand-new company, you might have become aware of Registered Representative Services however do not understand just how they can benefit you. This post will certainly supply you with a short introduction of these solutions, along with the Leading 6 Finest Registered Representative Services in the Northwest. Then, you’ll have a better understanding of exactly how these services can benefit you, as well as select the best one for your business. To get started, read this post for a consider why Registered Representative Providers are essential for services.
What is Registered Agent Providers?
What is Registered Agent Solutions? Registered representatives are people who deal with service correspondence on behalf of business. Every state needs that a company have actually a registered representative. Registered representatives need to be readily available during business hrs to take care of correspondence from government agencies. These people help business remain in conformity with the state laws. Generally, they bill $149/year for registered agent solutions. Some registered agents have a Worry-Free Compliance Guarantee.
There are lots of on-line business that use registered representative solutions. You can make use of LegalZoom, Rocket Lawyer, or IncFile to register your business with a registered representative. These services are economical, however you must take into consideration the expense. Some companies have a level cost, while others offer a regular monthly or yearly price. Registered agents can cost as low as $150 per year. If you need to change licensed agents, nonetheless, these firms have no extra costs.
While some states allow entrepreneur to designate themselves as a signed up representative, it is not suggested. A registered representative should have a business address and also have access to a mailbox. This address will certainly be released on the Firm as well as Business Entity Database, making it noticeable to every person. In addition to getting official government documents, a signed up representative service will certainly additionally get regular mail and other forms of mail that the business could have missed. A signed up representative service can assist services avoid the anxiety as well as frustrations of handling such important correspondence.
Exactly how can Registered Agent Services Aid You?
A registered representative is a necessity for company owner, particularly those that have several states in which they do business. Whether you require to do organization in a new state or if you’re transferring, having a registered agent is important. This specialist will certainly aid you handle the needed documentation as well as maintain your address public. Additionally, it will certainly minimize the chance of obtaining junk mail. With Northwest, you get a smooth experience, the very best customer care, and privacy protection.
When picking a registered agent, consider their performance history, abilities, as well as reliability. While numerous representatives agree to assist with inquiries concerning declaring needs, they are illegal counsel. When working with a registered representative, see to it they can accept and also provide essential records for your organization. Furthermore, you can request for a representative to help you respond to questions. The representative should be readily available throughout organization hours. You can likewise ask them to onward vital documents to you.
Leading 6 Ideal Registered Agent Services
There are several signed up agent services readily available. You can select from one of these 6 as well as conserve a great deal of cash. Many of these business use cost-free services for the very first year. If you don’t like their service, you can constantly ask for a reimbursement. You can check out genuine customer evaluations and also get a suggestion of the various solutions provided by each. If you’re not exactly sure which one to select, review these three suggestions to choose a registered agent solution that’s right for you.
Rocket Lawyer is one of the most preferred service as a result of its many features, including free annual reports, 24/7 support, and several repayment alternatives. It’s a great choice for small companies because it has multiple assistance networks as well as is open to inquiries throughout the day. Rocket Lawyer has a substantial experience and also has thousands of completely satisfied customers. You can also capitalize on the company’s reasonable prices. With over 20 million consumers, Rocket Lawyer is among one of the most knowledgeable suppliers in the industry.
Northwest Registered Agent
A totally free company telephone number is just one of the advantages of using the Northwest Registered Agent solution. These professionals will certainly address every one of your questions and address any troubles you might have. They are readily available to assist you throughout the entire organization registration process. On top of that, they provide excellent client service, and never share your individual information with 3rd parties. They guarantee never ever to offer your info to third parties, which is the supreme assurance of customer personal privacy. For more details, have a look at their customer reviews as well as start with your brand-new business.
The Northwest Registered Agent web site has various overviews on loads of different business subjects, from how to change registered representatives to establishing a series LLC. In addition to this, there are cost-free online legal kinds for different entities, such as the LLC formation procedure. The Registered Representatives Inc., a business considered “The Criterion” among registered agent services, additionally offers totally free legal types in their customer website. If you don’t intend to pay for every one of the fees upfront, you can select their month-to-month payment plan, which allows you to pay only the amount of service that you need.
Registered Representative solutions are important to protect your business’s personal privacy. A signed up representative, also referred to as a resident agent, obtains court papers and safeguards your service’s rate of interests. ZenBusiness is a signed up representative company based in Texas that offers firm and LLC solutions. The company’s plans are comprehensive and include every one of the services you require to start a company. You can find out more concerning registered representative services by seeing their website.
The customer care reps at ZenBusiness are highly professional, pleasant, as well as valuable. The business’s internet site provides a number of features and also benefits, consisting of on the internet account details, automated declaring notices, as well as document retrieval. The service supplies a network of lawful specialists to aid you. Consumer testimonials of ZenBusiness are normally favorable. Many customers admire the company’s cost as well as convenience of use. In addition to being a signed up representative, ZenBusiness offers other solutions, such as file storage as well as management.
Signing up as a representative might be an included cost, yet numerous organizations find it practical. There are lots of advantages to using a Registered Agent, and also the benefits deserve the price. However, it is necessary to know the details of each service before registering. You ought to carefully review the Registered Representative’s Terms as well as Problems, and also make certain that they meet your demands. You don’t want to miss any essential documents or lose your organization.
When assessing registered agent solutions, it is essential to understand what the firm supplies and also how well they support their clients. The internet site of Incfile is exceptionally easy to use and straightforward, and the company’s Registered Representative Dashboard uses a number of helpful attributes. It likewise notifies individuals when brand-new papers are gotten by their representative as well as allows them to download them from their internet site whenever they need them. Many individuals have noted that they such as the solution’s accessibility as well as consumer assistance, yet there are some issues with the system.
Of all, Incfile uses a free year of signed up representative solution, which makes them a great worth for cash. Hereafter complimentary year, consumers commonly restore their service. This guarantees that they do not miss any kind of due dates or non-compliance issues which they are able to manage their company while their signed up representative looks after the little points. Likewise, the service’s client assistance representatives are offered Monday through Friday, 9 am to 6 pm CST. The web site uses social media connections, as well as Incfile customers can upload reviews regarding their experience making use of the service.
When searching for a business formation service, it is essential to consider a selection of factors, including cost and also rate of service. Swyft Filings is a market leader when it pertains to speed up of filing, and it also offers night and day customer service. Along with a very easy application procedure, Swyft Filings provides detailed information and an insightful dashboard. While this online firm filing service may be a budget friendly option for several, there are better options available.
Registration with a signed up representative is necessary to make sure that your business stays certified as well as fulfills all submitting due dates. Nevertheless, it is feasible to be your very own signed up representative. This alternative includes particular negative aspects, consisting of the truth that your individual information comes to be public document. Making use of a signed up representative will certainly aid you prevent this. Not only will they file your records for you, yet they will also send you alerts when filing deadlines method.
MyCorporation is a prominent licensed representative solution that has actually been in business for 20 years. They have served over one million clients and also have an outstanding online reputation. Their signed up agent solutions set you back $120 annually as well as consist of no extra functions. Nonetheless, the firm is still reasonably cost-effective compared to various other registered representative solutions. MyCorporation’s signed up representative services have thousands of favorable client evaluations. They have a 3.5-star rating on TrustPilot, and they have an excellent credibility on Google as well as TrustPilot. Their customer service is additionally great, and also the chief executive officer has a Twitter account.
MyCorporation is compatible with US state regulations, and its pricing framework is competitive as well as clear. They also supply recurring assistance to help clients with company adjustments. While MyCorporation concentrates on the start-up phase, they supply a series of attributes that can be helpful for the life of your company. Their Silver bundle, for example, includes write-ups of organization, unlimited name searches, a year of totally free Registered Representative Providers, as well as a statement of resignation of the organizer. Silver additionally features endless phone and email support, online order standing monitoring, tax appointment, and also lifetime company notifies.
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Would you like to create some great curly looks on your krinky looking hair? Then you can get back to the basics of the process and how it is done in a simple and user friendly way. Try this hair style at home. It takes some time and requires patience as well.
The first step to curly looking hair
You would need some Avocado Oil for your hair at the beginning. Wet your hair and apply this avocado oil properly so that it covers your whole hair from the root to the tip.Avacado Oil is also known to be very good for your hair. After applying the avocado oil in your hair you can go on to the Avocado cold cream. The texture of this cream is soft, creamy and smooth. Start by applying at the ends and then through the whole hair.
Using the conditioner
You can use the conditioner as a leave in or a moisturizer. Apply this all over your hair. Finally, you can apply the hair polisher and styling gel. Apply this gel properly in your hair. Now part your hair into different sections and set with a clip. Use a wide toothed gentle comb to detangle the hair properly.
The last phase
After applying the styling gel, take a bit of icy gel on your fingertips and apply on your hair. It would help create the frizz in your hair. Take one part of the hair and braid it well. Make small braids in the same way and leave it to dry some sometime. Now take a hair permer and roll each and every twist one by one and work the way up in a spiral motion. Keep the permers on overnight with a cap that covers your hair. Now open your curlers one by one and you would find bouncy curls in your hair. Add some avocado oil in the tip of the twists and then fluff the hair slowly and gently. Smoothen out the edges with the help of a baby brush.
Your extraordinary hair curls have been done!
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Strengthening of the H&H Group Board
Ann Grevelius has a sound background in banking and finance, and is now an entrepreneur, angel investor and adviser, such as at the British investment bank GP Bullhound. She is also present on several Boards, on the Nasdaq Company Committee and manages capital for the Foundation for Strategic Research. As an entrepreneur, she recently launched the automated advisory service Opti together with partners.
Ann Hellenius has worked with digitalization, innovation and leadership for 20 years, in both the private and public sectors. She has 15 years of experience as a management consultant in London and Stockholm. As a CIO, she has successfully driven Stockholm’s work to create a smart city. Ann now works to drive digital transformation as CIO at Bankgiro and is a member of the government’s digitization council, as well as on the Boards of Volvofinans Bank, Lantmäteriet and Tillväxtverket.
“During the year, the Nomination Committee has conducted excellent work to find the best possible candidates to strengthen our Board. We have a clear ambition to continue to develop the H&H Group, both organically and through acquisitions in a professional and long-term manner. A well-composed Board with external members in addition to the owner’s representatives can provide new perspectives, as well as deeper skills and experience,” says Anders Halvarsson, Chairman of the Board.
The H&H Group Board consists of Anders Halvarsson (Chairman), Ann Grevelius, Ann Hellenius, Claes Bodén, Staffan Lindgren, Johan Ramsten and Martin Petersson.
During the year, the Nomination Committee has conducted excellent work to find the best possible candidates to strengthen our Board.”
Anders Halvarsson, Chairman of the Board, H&H Group
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Hammers fans have been left reading between the lines of West Ham’s Maxwel Cornet injury update but why the secrecy?
It was rather typical of West Ham’s rotten luck with new signings and injuries when Cornet was forced off just 35 minutes after finally getting a Premier League start under David Moyes at the beginning of October.
When Cornet went off with that calf injury it was expected the Ivory Coast star would be back in a week or two.
But West Ham’s £17.5m summer signing has not been seen in claret and blue since.
Before the World Cup break Moyes revealed Cornet’s comeback had been hampered by a setback. The Scot said he would not be available until after the break.
“Cornet is not available,” Moyes told whufc.com before the Leicester defeat ahead of the Premier League pause for Qatar.
“He won’t come back until after the World Cup.”
The Hammers could really do with Cornet’s pace, powerful running and energy in a side seriously lacking all those things.
West Ham fans were fully expecting to see Cornet involved in the friendly with Cambridge on Tuesday night.
But yet again he was nowhere to be seen.
After the game assistant coach Mark Warburton issued a brief update on Cornet to reassure supporters.
“Maxi is coming back and has had a little tweak but he’s not too far away,” Warburton told whufc.com.
Fans have been left reading between the lines of West Ham’s Cornet injury update but why the secrecy?
We all know Moyes is old school when it comes to divulging anything he feels might give his opponents an advantage.
When West Ham are in the thick of competitive action it is completely understandable that team news and information on whether certain players are available would be kept close to the manager’s chest.
But it is still three weeks until West Ham face Arsenal in the resumption of domestic action.
So why don’t West Ham issue proper injury updates like other clubs up and down the country.
Why don’t the Hammers state exactly what the injury is, what the setback was and give a timescale for Cornet’s return?
It is the same with other injuries too. News of Kurt Zouma’s knee operation came somewhat out of the blue recently and the vague nature of West Ham’s update on that has given rise to speculation claiming the defender could be out for much of the rest of the season.
West Ham could nip all that in the bud by giving proper injury updates and return timescales like their Premier League rivals do.
This cloak and dagger approach just frustrates fans and lends itself to the social media rumour mill.
If the club don’t know how long a player will be out then say so – issue an update and state that there is no timescale on the return.
But it really is time West Ham started giving the media and fans proper injury updates on their players.
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- No products in the cart.
BEST SELLING PRODUCTS
Many children go through phases where they resist sleep, either in the day, at night or both! “How can I get my child to nap?” This question came to us from a parent recently. The mom’s
In this post on sleep issues, we talked about using play as a tool that helps children release the minor fears and tensions that hold them back from sleeping well. Sometimes those fears run deeper
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Yeast Balance (Formally Yeast Be Gone)
Regular price $12.99
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Yeast Balance is a wonderful herbal blend used to maintain your pure internal environment.
1-2 dropperfuls in in water or juice, three to four times daily or as recommended by a health care professional.
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How Green Hydrogen Will Fuel the Future of UAM – Hanwha
The future of urban transport is in the air, and deciding how we power travel will shape the way we commute, work, and live.
Urban Air Mobility (UAM) is still an emerging industry, but it has the potential to revolutionize transportation by making intercity travel not only quick and affordable, but also sustainable. Around the world, companies are racing to fast-track the development of electric vertical takeoff and landing (eVTOL) aircraft. However, moving the commute from the ground to the sky doesn't come without its challenges. One of the biggest things keeping UAM from truly taking off is the limitation of lithium battery technology, which most eVTOL manufacturers currently use. As a leading global total energy solutions company, Hanwha has been applying its expertise in clean energy technologies to explore how powering aircraft with hydrogen fuel cells could make urban air mobility even more efficient and sustainable.
In January of this year, Hanwha Aerospace officially announced its plans to develop hydrogen fuel cells for use in aviation and create a new ecosystem for the UAM market. The announcement came on the heels of the company's successful pitch to the Korea Institute of Energy Technology Evaluation and Planning (KETEP) and its "Fuel Cell Lightweight Technology Development for Aviation Mobility" project.
UAM is an exciting next step in urban transportation, and Hanwha is making strategic investments to usher in a new era of electric flight.
An Industry Taking Flight
UAM has gained attention from both companies and consumers for its enormous potential to disrupt mobility services, speed up travel, decrease aircraft emissions, as well as to reduce strain on existing public transportation. The global UAM market is expected to grow from $2.6 billion in 2020 to $9.1 billion in 2030, spurred in large part by UAM's promise to solve the problems of traffic congestion and air pollution.
The benefits for commuters couldn't be clearer. Even before the concept of UAM became mainstream, we could already see its potential impact on daily transit. For example, a select few in São Paulo can currently pay $500 to $1,500 to turn a four-hour ground commute into a 10-minute helicopter ride. Advancements in new technology promise to extend such benefits to more people in cities across the world.
With so many opportunities for innovation, global companies like Hanwha have been entering the UAM market to lead the charge to revolutionize transportation. Specifically, Hanwha Systems is partnering with Overair, an American eVTOL developer, to build the electric propulsion system for an emissions-free air taxi called the "Butterfly." At the beginning of this year, Overair announced the successful launch of the Butterfly's full-scale propulsion system test program, a milestone in both companies’ efforts to conduct the vehicle's maiden flight by 2023. This important step, combined with Hanwha Aerospace's recent announcement that it would be developing hydrogen fuel cells for aviation, makes this an exciting time for the UAM industry. Believing that an emerging industry with so much potential must be powered in a way that is above all sustainable, Hanwha is committed to advancing hydrogen as the fuel of the future.
The Hydrogen Revolution
What makes hydrogen a true fuel of the future? For starters, it's the most abundant element in the universe. It's renewable, readily available and its fuel cells are already being used in everything from passenger cars and buses to spacecraft. In fact, the hydrogen fuel cell vehicle market is expected to reach $42.03 billion globally by 2026 at 66.9% CAGR.
A hydrogen fuel cell works by fusing hydrogen with oxygen in a process that resembles a battery, creating electricity to power a motor. The only byproducts are water and heat, making it a zero-emissions mode of transportation. This means that, as long as the energy used to produce it is sustainable, hydrogen can be a truly green fuel.
Unfortunately, most of the hydrogen fuel supply today comes from processes involving natural gas or other fossil fuels. To combat this issue, Hanwha has been advancing a cleaner production method, known as electrolysis, which uses an electric current to split water molecules into hydrogen and oxygen – a process that still requires energy. If that electricity comes from a renewable energy source such as wind or solar power, the resulting “green” hydrogen is a renewable, zero-emission fuel.
Is the hype around hydrogen justified? While some obstacles still need to be overcome, technological advances by companies like Hanwha are making hydrogen production more efficient and sustainable. These improvements, combined with global goals to decarbonize, are helping to drive a new hydrogen economy.
Lightweight Materials, Heavy Impact
So why use hydrogen fuel cells for UAM? Because building a battery that’s capable of meeting UAMs’ demanding needs poses a significant challenge. Specifically, UAMs need an energy system that balances weight, power, and energy capacity.
The key to realizing a future of urban air mobility is developing a reliable power source. The battery must be compact enough without taking up too much room or adding too much weight, yet strong enough to power vertical takeoffs, landings, and sustained flight.
Because they have an energy-to-weight ratio ten times greater than lithium-ion batteries, hydrogen fuel cells could take UAM technology to new heights, fast-tracking our progression to a high-flying and efficient future.
While battery technology has advanced significantly in recent years, current lithium standards are still limited when it comes to packing enough power for long-distance flights. On the other hand, hydrogen fuel cells have a high energy density, which can significantly increase the operating time and distance of UAM compared to batteries. And, unlike batteries that need to be recharged, fuel cells have a longer life, faster recharge time and the ability to generate electricity as long as a fuel source - hydrogen - is provided.
Because there are no moving parts, fuel cells are also silent and highly reliable, which is preferable considering the noise pollution of other flying vehicles. City dwellers can sleep easily knowing that the sound of air taxis won’t keep them up late at night.
Innovating for a
Green Energy Future
While to some, UAMs may still seem like a far-off technology, mass adoption may come sooner than expected, thanks to Hanwha and other companies’ heavy investment into research and development. Considering the KETEP’s selection of Hanwha Aerospace to lead the development of a hydrogen fuel cell system for use in urban air mobility, the aviation industry has a game-changing opportunity to reduce emissions and introduce alternatives that address sustainability issues.
By 2025, Hanwha Aerospace plans to develop core technologies for hydrogen fuel cells for aviation, focusing on areas like improving fuel cell performance and reducing system weight. Hanwha Aerospace will draw on its years of expertise developing the Korean launch vehicle Nuri (KSLV-II) as well as various engine parts for civil aircraft. Combining technology prowess with a commitment to sustainability, Hanwha is laying the groundwork for a green, zero-emissions transport solution for all.
A New Era of
UAM has the potential to transform transit completely in a sustainable way – but there are numerous technical and infrastructure challenges still to overcome. Hanwha is setting its sights high by taking on two of those biggest challenges – improving fuel cell performance and reducing system weight – to build this sustainable vision for the future. Investing in hydrogen fuel cells technology will play a key role in overcoming these obstacles and bringing people closer to experiencing the benefits of eco-friendly aircraft. As urban transport heads into the sky, Hanwha will be piloting us all towards a green mobility solution that brings convenience, affordability and enjoyment to flights for everyone.
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Hope you’re all well?
NEVER ENOUGH is an endless, no-win MindGame that only ever leaves us exhausted, dissatisfied and sometimes even skint.
Have you ever been certain that when you get that new car, bike, bigger house or perfect job. THEN you’ll be #happy?
But the minute you get that thing, that you just had to have, that you were so excited about.
The minute you get it, your mind switches from a million reasons why you should get it, to a million reasons why you shouldn’t have it.
That’s your egoic #mind milking you for energy +/- It’s always seeking, never finding. Grass is always greener…
It’s an exhausting game that never ends until you become #aware of it.
If you want more #peace, #happiness and #contentment. STOP PLAYING THE GAME.
Reconnect with and live from your original-happy-self and watch your energy and enjoyment of life RISE, effortlessly.
In reality, we need very little. Warm clothes, nutritious food, clear air, pure water. A secure roof over our heads and a loving community /home.
And most important of all, INNER PEACE. The super-highway to genuine effortless reasonless happiness.
Have a lovely weekend y’all 😎🙏❤️
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Hey, Virgil, hey, Bri, top of the morning to you, are you feeling an influence coming from across the pond like you in a positive one?
No. Yeah, I mean, there's always negative vibrations coming from that part of the world in particular this week, eh?
You want me to fill this in like it's a thing that I wanted to talk about. I don't want to stand you over the top of the morning and now you're acting like I'm somehow pitting you in by talking about the subject that you want us to talk about.
I knew this was coming because I read the damn posts and Bri castigated me earlier this week for being too cool to care about the royal family. No, that's not exactly it.
It's that there was a lot of like very performative tweeting from the left about how they just didn't care, which was really clearly about how they felt left out, because this wasn't something that happened on the Internet. This is real people.
This wasn't a meme about for nigh on tick tock, but that dealt with issues of gender and racism, which are like not always very welcome conversations in certain segments of the left. And, you know, like I was like, you don't have to care. But the fact that people were smiling so loud about it seemed to me to indicate a little bit of insecurity.
Well, I think part of that is an aversion to the ancient British aristocracy that should absolutely not exist in this rigid, psychotic, class based society, which is not to say that we don't also have a rigid, psychotic, class based society, but it's like less serious than what we'll hear in the interview in a second is the Senate exists.
It doesn't stop us from talking about the shenanigans that happened there. I mean, like, yeah, we all get it. We all hate the monarchy. Now, this story opening at nine. You know, Prince, you know, somebody in the English royal family was concerned about the skin color of Archie, whatever their last name is, Bunker like, that's that spicy.
I mean, like, I don't know what that we have to tether a critique of the crown to every every bit of spicy content that's coming out of an Oprah interview like.
Yes, I mean, but I carried on this conversation that very much so was the tea to come out of it, as I understand it, from the million votes that people made.
I mean, I'm not a big real family follower myself, but I do think that even I understand, having watched the crown, that there is a certain amount of, you know, interest that secrecy breeds and the fact that there's so much privacy and there's so much control over the media surrounding the royal family. And the English press makes this event more salacious than your average period gossip because they're famous for being famous.
No, because they came to America and used the American I mean, in a way that they would never have been able to do in England, because there's one of the things that came out in the interview is Harry said, you know, this is a very close relationship between the tabloids and the Crown. And they have these events and like mixer's where they have the symbiotic relationship. And when you watch the crown, you see all these stories about how they call and get stories killed all the time in exchange for other little tidbits.
And that's part of Megan's frustration. Right? She's like they have a certain amount of control and over the narrative. So I hold them responsible when the narrative is that I'm like ruining England by having married your literal red headed stepchild.
So that's what the other royals believe, that it's like you should have married a black person.
I mean, again, this is all like second, third, fourth hand. But that the narrative is that, you know, when Kate Middleton married William, everyone loved her and she was the perfect princess. And, you know, she's got that wasp waist and wears clothes beautifully. And she was merchant's daughter, right?
Well, that didn't seem to be that much of an issue in the grand scheme of things. And her value was arguably cynically amplified. The fact that she was beloved was amplified as a way to contrast her to Megan, who was older. She's a few years older than Prince Harry. She's American, which they don't have a great history of royals marrying Americans over there.
No, they don't turn some fascist. Apparently they or it just makes them. I mean, yes, but like principally the issue wasn't that he was a fascist. The issue was that he just abdicated.
And then there's the fact that she's black. There's the fact that she her parents are divorced. There is the fact that her father seems to be a somewhat unsavory character. There's the fact that she was a working actress. She was literally one of. The suitcase girls had a deal or no deal. Yeah, deal or no deal, sorry, I mean, obviously none of those things are actually a problem. But in the world of there are for me, those are all big.
But you never did a suitcase girl, Virgil.
Yeah, I would not. Yeah. It's broken across America for all of it. I mean, is the show still on the air? It's like the youngest, you know, 40 to you think deal or no deal is still on the air.
I'm asking I don't know.
I don't watch cable. But the game that's about averages. No, it's not still on the air.
Why should that be an obvious fact to me?
There are exactly two game shows that are on the air that deserve to be on the air. And they've been on the air for decades and they are jeopardy! And Price is right.
Wheel of Fortune is on the air. I'm the one that is on my family feud.
OK, you're right. But Family Feud has not been continuously on the air.
I mean, I can't attest to the veracity of that statement. Actually, I don't know.
I kind of shot from the hip on that one now. Yeah. You know, I used to just be throwing stuff out. OK, all right.
All right. I know there's been like seven hosts of Family Feud. And also I have, like, serious problems with Family Feud, but I do like the format of it. Wheel of Fortune, I have zero respect for should never made it to air, period.
I don't care for Wheel of Fortune either. It's the steal for me.
And there's a little bit of this one family feud, but it's the it's the ability to like do all of the work and then have the other person steal it. Yeah. A little mistake. Yeah.
I mean that is also really messed up and family feud and I think that's one of the I maybe they have that into to heighten the drama of it, but I consider it a design flaw of the game.
It makes it less of a game of skill.
I think that mostly it's not an issue because if the first family if the original family gets far, you know, they've they basically, like, solved all but like one or two of the questions on the board and the other family gets a chance to steal. The remaining answers are usually very, very difficult. And they don't steal like it's dumb stuff because, you know, the the answers are collected via a survey and the nice people just say dumb stuff.
It's got to be like a one person responded out of one hundred. Exactly. Or it's something that's super obvious, like the number one answer and then they deserve to have it stolen from them. That's a good point.
That's a good point. I think that's fair. I mean, I still would want to toy with the format of the show some option to see how it plays out, do some AB testing, but generally. All right, fine. I will concede my point. Family feud. Yes. Has been on the air for a long time, maybe continuously, maybe not.
Had three separate runs from seventy six to eighty five from eighty eight oh ninety five and then ninety nine.
There's a lot of runs. I'm sorry I can't read this book for you right now.
There's a lot you do not have to. I did not requested so I think we're still in the Steve Harvey era or is that past.
We're still on the Steve Harvey era. I have a million or one critiques of Steve Harvey. I think that this is his best milia, not commercials for Green Dot or subprime loans or whatever the hell he pitches.
No, Steve Harvey is perfectly constrained in this family TV format so that any, like, weird, creepy, bad political instincts that he has can't really come out. He can make just the right amount of suggestive innuendo when called for to make it chuckle so he could just like laugh a little bit, cloud on the people who make bad guesses, just the right amount.
And that's all I need from him doing a little bit where he asks a question with sexual innuendo and then acts outraged when somebody responds in a sexual fashion. Correct.
OK, it can't be.
But there's no politics in our family feud, which is good is something I support part of a part of a movement called Commercial GamerGate. And I just want politics out of our game shows.
You get the SJW stuff out of jeopardy.
You know what's funny? Maybe we should all look at this, but I was talking to my friend the other day about Family Feud. I don't know if you do this, Virgile, but I know I'm not the only one who does this. When I see a family on Family Feud, I obviously I root for the black family, like, I just feel bad.
That's what you do for the you make it into a, you know, a racehorse.
I feel like you root for the black you and I don't know if you root for the Asian family. I don't know what your life is divided. Obviously I root for the black family. OK, so the other day I was watching a clip of it, like on my phone, you know, is it was like, you know, Instagram, family feud moments or whatever. They're close up on a family. It's an African family and they're dressing like matching like African print outfits.
They're really cute. I'm like, all right, they're doing the thing. They're answering the questions. I'm rooting for them. And then the chance comes for the steal. And when they come to the other family for the steal that family with the black American farm. Oh, wow. I was absolutely torn. I had become so deeply invested in ruins my day, it ruins my day.
That's like a real life playing out of the the descendants of slaves versus all the other people controversy.
You know, it's Steve Harvey Oswald for even pitting us against each other like that. I didn't want to participate any more, but it's OK. It's OK. The consumption of this clip, it's OK when it's black people versus Asians.
Well, that's you know, that's the Steve Harvey. That's the real royal family. That's the American royal family.
I was going to say, you know, his daughter is dating Michael Jordan, right? I did not know that. Well, yeah.
American royals right there still put a lid on the royal family chat that we've we've gotten sidetracked from.
It has been really funny to see the derange defenders of the royal family on both sides of the Atlantic, whether it's the the Ben Shapiro type American rightists who are just kind of saying this for, you know, just to get read tweets or whatever, you know, like I respect Prince Philip, like, why bother you?
But the what the British people, like the British right wing, which we could we could do like an entire frickin miniseries about the arrangement of the British right wing, just how much they love the royal family.
And there's just some weird just I don't know, it's a Bednall obsession. Yeah.
Like, you know, your country. I mean, because I don't know. I kind of think inherent in that is this is this recognition that, you know. All right. Well, my country is pretty shitty, but this makes me I get to play pretend that we have a noble lineage.
Yeah, it's interesting. I mean, obviously, there are some parallels to America. I don't want to get too glib. There are people with commemorative plates of various people. Folks had like Kennedy on their walls forever. Obviously, there's a lot of Obama memorabilia that's still floating around. Like we're not completely above the idea of this kind of hero worship, this whole episode. We end up talking, you know, a lot about people's feelings of fidelity and commitment to the Democratic Party and being unwilling and willing to critique them.
This does feel different, though, and I feel like because I watched the crowd here.
I do, I guess, understand it better than I used to. I mean, for one, I think the queen is just so old that she was there for everything. Every historical moment in your living memory and your parents living memory is going to have had that literal same woman. They're weighing in, giving words of comfort, standing on the sidelines, patting away the kids tears at the sight of the tragedy or whatever occurred. And so I do understand how you could have an investment in a person as kind of a witness to your country's history and to, you know, your personal history by extension.
So an old person, I mean, like but old by anybody's standards, not just like old for a head of state while everybody is old in America, the youngest senator is like eighty two.
But I mean, she's I mean, when you're watching the crowd and it's like, first of all they had to have like three or four different actresses play the woman because it's like nobody's range is that long and it starts in like nineteen eighteen or whatever. I mean it doesn't set. In 1980.
What was the Queen born, when was the Queen born. She's like a hundred so.
Well twenty, twenty tens I think. I'm sorry. 19 times I think maybe 1919.
Oh nineteen twenty six.
Yeah. Because she was like a teenager during the Blitz and stuff like that.
She was born on April 21st. OK, well you know what, that's older Hitler.
Betty White is older than that. That's true. Can we not talk about England because we're just the same.
But with Betty White, I mean, I'm not I think we should abolish Betty White. Also abolish the golden car.
Oh, come on. You're not part of the panic every time Betty White turns on Twitter.
I know. Not Betty White. Oh, she just did a funny.
You're just going to make me sound heartless. I want to lose, you know, I mean, even the British perspective we were given the American Prospect. I just want to give the Irish perspective for a second. This is from the Irish Times review of the Oprah interview. This is by a writer named Patrick Frain. I'm not going to do an Irish accent because I can't do one that's not cartoonish.
OK, having a monarchy next door is a little like having a neighbor who's really into clowns and has a house dubbed in clown murals, display's clown dolls in each window and has an insatiable desire to hear about and discuss clown related news stories. More specifically for the Irish, it's like having a neighbor who's really into clowns and also your grandfather was murdered by a clown. Beyond this, it's the stuff of children's stories. Having a queen as head of state is like having a pirate or a mermaid or iWalk is head of state.
What's the logic, bees have queens, but the queen bee lays all the eggs in the hive. The queen of the Britons has just laid four British eggs and one of those is the sweatiest creep, Prince Andrew. So it's hardly deserving of applause.
I don't think anyone's going to run to better your Ratliff's good luck right in the lead for your next MSNBC article.
Not so less.
Yes. Why don't you? You know, that's a reference. You know, he was named in one of the Eppstein lawsuits where one of one of his victims, alleged victims, said that he was sweaty and he responded by going on the news and saying, well, actually, I'm incapable of sweating. So case closed.
Oh, it's so bad. Yeah, but I think about it.
But after that interview, I'm starting to think they're bad.
Well, I am glad that Megan escaped. I think it's extremely weird that they escaped into the protection of Tyler Perry.
Perry Well, where where would you go?
I would use a different situation because I like being here, much like Britney Spears. I would have turned down the date with Prince Harry Shearer about.
Oh, I did not know that.
Yeah, she is a savvier judge of character than one might think of the fact that I also didn't know who is Piers Morgan when on a date with Megan Markle or they got they got drinks. I don't know.
I think that he thinks that they were it was right. He thinks it was a date. And she was like, I got drinks with this guy, but they met on Twitter.
So there's a lot more effort in that or her and Harry Morgan and Marcal. OK, so there's hope for me yet.
There's hope for you. What's Prince Andrew at?
All right, let's go to an interview that possibly rivals Oprah's interview. Oh, it's way in terms of sheer interview, brilliance, just sheer competence that we're just bringing to the table.
It's with one of my favorite journalists. I was so excited to meet him in the context of my work on the campaign. And really, it was really great to have a conversation with him that's more broad and far reaching and touches a lot of subjects outside of my purview as national press secretary. So I hope you enjoy this interview with John Nichols at The Nation.
Let's meet our guest. He is the national affairs correspondent for the Nation and associate editor of the Capital Times. He's also a book author, most recently of The Fight for the Soul of the Democratic Party, John Nichols. It's a pleasure to be with you both.
John, I feel like this is a really opportune time to have you here. This because if you scroll past the titles of all of your books, not just the fight for the soul of the Democratic Party, but all the way back to it's the media, stupid. It seems like you really have you're you're an expert of sorts on everything that seems to be going on in my country politically right now. In terms of the fight, the left is having to have any influence on the current administration.
So I'm curious, what is your read coming out of the somewhat tumultuous week where there were some disappointments around the 15 dollar minimum wage, but where the media is largely celebrating the genuine substantive gains that are in the covid bill, how do we continue to kind of wave the flag about what more could be accomplished if we had a different orientation among the Biden administration peers?
That's a great question. I think it gets to the heart of the matter. The fact of the matter is that Democrats, when they get power, tend to default to being a managerial party. They want to manage the situation that they're in and as better managers than Republicans, usually they are so far. And I think by a lot of measures, historically, they look at the situation. They say, oh, well, there are some things that need to be done.
We have to get some money to local governments. We have to get some money for the vaccine program. We have to get some money for health care because there's still a lot of people that are sick from covid-19. And that's all in this one point nine trillion dollar American rescue plan. And that's great. It's excellent. I'm all for it. And much of it is quite progressive. In fact, I think you could make a strong argument that it is a measure of the victory of progressives in shaping a lot of narratives and a lot of ideas because campaigning for economic and social and racial justice and making demands as we have as regards how we measure that has been integrated into elements of this plan.
Right. It's a more conscious plan, especially as regards people who historically have been left out and left behind. So all compliments, sir. Now, here's the problem that's managing and it's managing. Well, give it credit. But if we accept that we're not where we need to be, if we have not arrived at the cooperative Commonwealth, if we have not gotten to the high ground of this this more perfect union than what they bartered away in the negotiations, is that that climbing that going to the next step, when you barter away the two thousand dollar direct payment and take it down to fourteen hundred and say, oh yeah, we would get 600 someplace else.
So that's OK. And then when you say, yeah, we're going to means test it. So we're going to give it to millions of fewer people and even those who get it are going to get less at different thresholds. And then when you say add on unemployment insurance, we're not going to give you quite as much as as we propose. We're going to cut that down some. And then on the big one. On the big one, on increasing the minimum wage literally after the better part of a dozen years of literally locking in the hardest working people in America to poverty wages.
We just can't quite get there. We can't quite do that. And so the end result is you have a great managerial bill, but you have a lousy vision, Bill. You have a lousy sort of get to the high ground measure. And this is the problem, I would argue, for Democrats when they are in power. And it is why we kind of default to that position that the singer Bruce Cockburn summed up in one of his great song from the 1980s.
The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.
Suddenly, it's refreshing. Well, there's an episode titled, If There Ever Was One, I'm really glad you brought up the idea of a more perfect, you know, more perfect union, obviously, from the preamble, Barack Obama deploy that phrase to great effect.
But what it feels like often now is that the idea of more perfect for, you know, requires that you're not at perfect. And it's tacitly a criticism of the current administration.
And it feels like now any critique of the Biden administration is considered to be partisan and then their team Republican and your team Trump.
And it doesn't really leave a lot of space to say, hey, what if there were things we could have done to push harder for a 15 dollar minimum wage?
The response from a lot of the mainstream Democrat center is, well, why are you complaining? You guys will complain about everything. Can't you take a win?
And I'm curious from your perspective whether that is a more recent political development or something that has kind of always been the case in the history of left movements.
It's always been the case. It's not a recent development. There always is an argument that if you raise a critique, if you challenge, you're going to somehow undermine or weaken the administration. And the tragedy of that is that it's exactly wrong. The challenge is what strengthens an administration. And when I say it's always been the case, I mean that. Yes, I'm sure in 1787 there were people who said, in fact, I know there were.
We said, well, if you critique the Constitution, you know, maybe we won't get it. And that that could be bad. Well, no, critiquing it got us the Bill of Rights. And so it was kind of a good thing. I just wish that critique had gone even further on a whole host of issues. And so the critique is always healthy if you have leaders who are conscious of its value. And that's the great test.
It's not a test of the grassroots or of the left or anybody. It's a test of of Joe Biden in this case. And I can just reference historically to the proper response to which was Franklin Delano Roosevelt and the stories told in many ways. And so I'll tell it in one way, and that is that a.. Philip Randolph, the head of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters, arguably one of the greatest labor leaders in the history, not just of the United States, but the world, and also the guy who called for the 1963 march on Washington.
We all the advanced guard of a massive moral revolution for jobs and freedom. This revolution reverberates throughout the land, touching every city, every town, every village where black men are segregated, oppressed and exploited. But this civil rights revolution is not confined to the Negro, nor is it confined to civil rights for all white allies know that they cannot be free while we are not.
When he went to meet with Franklin Roosevelt again, as the story is told, with a list of demands. Roosevelt, very impressed with Randolph, said, You know, Phil, I agree with everything you're saying. Go out and make me do it, and effectively what he was saying there, if indeed the story is true, was that we desperately need a critique to get to that higher ground, to get to the point where we want to go to.
And I've came up as a kid covering labor struggles. That was my the main thing I covered. And I used to talk to labor leaders all the time who would say, look, I'm in negotiations here and it's going to be really good if my members are angry and agitated and riled up and picketing and making a lot of noise. Because then in negotiations, I can say I can't compromise with you on this. My people won't accept that. Right.
Well, it's the same in politics. If you're Joe Biden and you're in negotiations with centrist Democrats or with Republicans or whoever, if there is like a great bunch of people out there who are saying this is unacceptable, this cannot be we cannot sacrifice the minimum wage in the first major initiative of the Biden administration, that's that's a signal that is going to come back and haunt us. And it is going to resonate throughout this administration. If we don't do it now, there's great dangers.
If you're amplifying that, then when Biden sitting there with Joe Manchin or whoever is not got a problem here, I got to you know, I need I need some movement. I clearly am showing myself to be very militant on the view that internal dissent within a political party and then a dissent that comes from the edges of that party, perhaps from those who sympathize with it, but are not necessarily in and from beyond, from those who are clearly critical.
All of that, if it is well intended, if its goal is to achieve something better, like, I don't know, maybe the platform of the party, literally what they ran on. Right. I think that's OK.
That all seems very reasonable to someone like me. But then why is there, in your view, why is there such an aggressive current against intra party criticism?
Because it makes things harder, right? It requires you to do two things. Number one, if you are unprincipled to actually be principled, that's dark. Yeah. You know, it's like, oh, rats, I do this. They want to do this my way. But two, if you are principled, right, it requires you to work harder and it is tougher. I mean, there's no question if your party is in lock step with you.
Right. And you can literally say I decided this. So this is what we're going to do, that's very easy. And so you understand why people don't like it. But the problem with it is and I dare to use a word that Louisiana Senator John Kennedy used recently during a committee hearing, oh, we love him. I know he's a fascinating fellow. During that irritated, he said, I love the dialectic.
And I thought, well, it's not arbitrary love of a Southern Republican who backed it used to be a Democrat saying he loves the dialectic. But if we understand the dialectic, if we understand this this notion that a back and forth, a push and pull actually makes something stronger. That's why those of us who favor internal critique and external critique think it's useful and think it's good. I think it makes a President Joe Biden stronger. And frankly, when presidents resist it too hard, then you end up with Lyndon Johnson in nineteen sixty eight going on television, interrupting the Lawrence Welk Show, I believe to say he's not going to run for another term.
Right. Because it's just it's all been wrecked. Well, Lyndon Johnson didn't end up not seeking another term as one of the more successful domestic policy presidents in American history because of internal critique. It wasn't because there was an antiwar movement. It's because he didn't listen to the antiwar movement and it ultimately wrecked his presidency.
That makes sense to me for why policy makers and party apparatchiks and I'm sorry if this question is going too far afield, why policymakers, why politicians, my party apparatchiks, why they're opposed to intra party critique. But something I've noticed I know you've noticed this as well, especially in the past few years, is that this opposition to criticizing a Democratic president from Democrats has increasingly been coming from below as well.
That it seems to be a partisanship of this type has morphed into a distinct ideology. Almost in the way that we see people talk about these things. I'm curious if you have any thoughts on where that's coming from.
Absolutely. In fact, my dear comrade and colleague Bob McChesney have written about six books on this issue, and that is our transforming media. And the fact of the matter is that our media has changed. It's very, very different. It is less top down. You have many, many more entry points. But in this in this change, what has happened is we've democratized punditry. And so now everybody's a pundit. Everybody is sort of analyzing what danger might occur if you don't compromise here or if you make this move or if you do that.
And and in fact, people who are engaged with politics and who are good people, who are really passionate about it and follow all the news, they're looking at polls and they're looking at kind of higher level punditry, trickle down punditry, whatever we want to call it. But we end up in a situation where there's just a tremendous number of folks who are like, wow, I know what I want. I know what the right thing is, but I know I can't get it.
I have to we have to compromise. And so I'm horrified when somebody comes forward and actually says what I want because that I know we can't get that. And I know that's dangerous and I'm too idealistic and I'm too I believe in economic and social and racial justice and saving the planet and ending wars. And that's just more than where the American people are at. And people I do think that this is the great danger, because the fact of the matter is we get progress when people say, you know what, I'm just not going to tell myself what we can't do anymore.
I'm going to tell myself what we can do. And the word that I always kind of try to throw into the mix here is necessary. I think that too often progressives talk about what they want or even what they know is a good idea. But what they don't talk about is what is necessary, what has to happen. And I will tell you a couple of things that are necessary. First and foremost, by and large, the progressive ideology, the progressive vision is necessary because of the circumstance we're in, because of the economic, social and racial inequality that we experience, because of the threat to the planet, because of all of the challenges that we well understand, we don't have to go through.
But it is also necessary. That's sort of the moral side of it. There's also the political side. The fact of the matter is Franklin Roosevelt was the last Democratic president to win reelection every time with a majority of the vote and to win every midterm election. Every time he went in, he got it. All right. Franklin Roosevelt, it never failed. And you say, well, yeah, those were different times. I don't know. You had, like, really bad Republicans.
You had depression, economic downturn. You had wars. You had, you know, I mean, it's a pretty big challenges. And yet he won every time. And you think, well, OK, what was the trick? Well, Roosevelt administration, if you looked at it, got more and more progressive as it went along. It moved to the left. He replaced a centrist Southern Center right, Southern conservative vice president John Nance Garner with Henry Wallace.
And it really worked. Even when they got rid of Wallace, they still ran in. Forty four is a very, very progressive pop. And then Roosevelt dies. Harry Truman comes in, gets rid of all the new dealers, literally chased him out of the administration, starts to compromise on all sorts of things, loses the Congress for the first time since nineteen thirty two in nineteen forty six. And you say, OK, well that's one bad example.
No no. Again and again and again. You look at it, you start to compromise. Johnson went bad on the Vietnam War. Democrats started really have a lot of problems. We lost the presidency. Then you get it back with Jimmy Carter. He pulls his punches. He doesn't do as much as he could have or should have in those first two years. They have tremendous setbacks in Congress in nineteen seventy eight. Lose the presidency in nineteen eighty, you think?
OK, OK, that's a couple examples, but that's way in the past. Who remembers Jimmy Carter. Oh yeah, he's still alive. And then you say, well but what about Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton ran on this and I covered Bill Clinton. I'm old enough to have covered Bill Clinton and I was there with him on the last days. I was doing what's called close cover. You literally up near the candidate. And I was here.
He was literally people are saying, I'm going to vote for you because you're going to cure cancer. Right. The hopes for Bill Clinton were just immense. Well, that's Biden's agenda. Well, there you go. And it's a good agenda. But so Clinton comes in and suddenly says, oh, we got deficits and debts we have to pay. So suddenly you're pulling punches everywhere. You're doing free trade. You're abandoning all sorts of basic premises and nineteen ninety four, what he loses power, right?
He's still president but he can't govern and say, OK, well, that's Clinton excuse and pass. Oh, Barack Obama. He's elected with an overwhelming majority. Right. Sweeps into power to try to work with Republicans. They barter away half the stimulus to tax breaks and things like that. They don't do single payer. They don't even do a public option on health care. There's a lot of still free trade, things like that. 2010, you lose the house, two thousand fourteen, you lose the Senate.
I'm sorry. There's kind of a pattern here. And I think you don't like a lot of presidents.
You sound like a docent at the FDR Museum.
Let me tell you about this guy. He actually whipped everyone's ass kid.
I'll tell you a story. But no, but that's the point.
And the other reason I go through each of those examples, right, is to say that the history is so absolutely rock solid, clear that you don't come in and compromise. You don't Kosoff, you don't give people less. You give them more. You build this excitement, you build this enthusiasm. And yes, I'm sorry if it's difficult, right. You change rules again. I'm not bringing up Roosevelt ever going to mention them again.
So, yeah, OK.
So I feel like I feel but I just say, you know, I don't know people who others. Franklin Roosevelt. Right. Comes to the presidency. People are like, well why was he inaugurated on March 20th as opposed to January 20th? Because they literally amended the Constitution to restructure. When presidents come into office, they restructured issues. And how Congress worked there was so much they got changed in the early nineteen thirties and they restructured their relationship with Congress.
They move people around. They did all sorts of wild things. And why? Because Franklin Roosevelt said, well, we got a depression, people are suffering, we've got to do stuff. And they did stuff and it wasn't perfect. They failed on lots of stuff in that blank. Of course they were perfect when I said. But the fact of the matter is, what we like about the New Deal is not necessarily everything it did. What we like about it is that it had that ambition, that it tried to go from straight.
So the pattern being as clear as it is. We find ourselves, of course, falling into a similar trap in the conversation that's had by the left is why are they intentionally doing what they know has failed in the past? Are Democrats intentionally trying to lose midterms? And when you kind of poke that bear, when you ask them, you know, for example, when we asked Representative Condit when he's on the show a week or so ago, you know, why is it that so many of your colleagues don't support Medicare for all style, despite its overwhelming popularity rating and says, well, you know, a lot of them think it's a losing electoral issue.
And it's like, but my friend, you and I both know that's not the case. We see the patterns. We see what loses on what wins. At a certain point, the left says they're not mistaken. They're not myths misreading history. They're operating on some motivation that's different from necessarily winning and that there are other influences afoot here that are motivating the behavior of these elected officials. That isn't simply what's going to get them elected, what their constituents actually want, what's good for America.
How do you start to message around that and communicate that when it seems so obvious to the left? But that's just not a conversation that seems to be happening at all in the mainstream.
Instead, what you get is while the Democrats can't do X, Y and Z because the parliamentarian, because of Joe Manchin, because of Krysten Sinema, because Republicans at large, you know, how do you start to chip away at all of the excuses that the Democratic Party has been incredibly effective in building up to absolve them of any responsibility for the outcome of their policies?
You don't you don't try to chip away at it. You take a great big back and go for it. You try and knock it down in one one fell swoop because it chipping away at it. And Rubinoff says it's chipping away at it, finding like, oh, here's this little bit of evidence you're trying to make the case they love. That's like the comment section on, you know, like a blog post or something like that. It's like, OK, yeah, they want you to go into that and just say, lose yourself in the minutia of the.
Oh yeah. But what about this and stuff like that. No, no, no. You first off, you go with that basic concept. It always happens, right. It happens again and again and again. So clearly the problem is really it's not something debatable. It's not about personalities. It's this is structural. This is this is a reality within the party. Now, then you ask yourself, well, are they people? You know, they're not the overwhelming majority of them come at this for very good reasons.
There are some high level Democrats who are just ambition writ large. Right. You know, that they just that all they they do care about is getting the job and the gain and all that. Yeah, except they exist. There's a lot of people there who came in literally for incredibly noble reasons. Right. And then there it's almost as if we talk a lot about the trade union movement and we say one of the problems, the trade union movement is there's not enough union education.
You're not, you know, informed on how you got where you are and why a union is necessary. That's very true in the Democratic Party. There's too much party education. Right. And the problem is that from the top, there is this kind of constant well, this is how we do it. This is the only way we're going to win. We're not really popular. People don't really like us, you know. And so, you know, when we start to talk about, you know, all the things we really want, we're going to scare folks.
Right. And they're going to call us socialist. And that's why I wrote the book The S Word, because I wanted to argue and I continue to argue every day that until Democrats get comfortable with being called socialists, even if they aren't sure, let's say they have to be there. But until they get comfortable with that and they say, yeah, maybe this idea is a little socialistic, you know, but it's good until they get comfortable with that, they are going to always operate from a place of fear and it's trained to do.
Is that sincere, though, John?
Because we're not just talking about, OK, Amy Klobuchar doesn't want these left policies. We're talking about in this instance, the militancy that you called for before, the militancy that you pointed to that was able to but a Philip Randolph was able to leverage to make make a president listen. Right, to make him do it. Where is that coming from in a contemporary context, where a lot of the institutions that used to be the source of some of that militancy, whether or not it's some arm of the media, whether or not it's independent organizations, socialist organizations, whether it's not.
The handful of progressives we do have in Congress, what do you do if even those groups don't necessarily bring the militancy required of the moment and are for whatever reason, offering a degree of cover to a Biden administration who is pointing to the parliamentarian, for example, as though they are fourth branch of government instead of being very easily overturned, obstacle to providing people the minimum wage, a 15 minimum wage?
Yeah, and so that's that's exactly the right question. And the first off, let me re-emphasize that when we talk about Philip Randolph and Franklin Roosevelt, there's a debate about whether that conversation ever actually took place. So I always say, as the story is told.
Right. But is there a debate about the pressure that exists is behind? That's the Bible. And what we do know is that Randolph did meet with Roosevelt. We do know that Randolph threatened a march on Washington in 1940 into nineteen forty one and Roosevelt. So building up for World War Two, so concerned about that, that he issued an executive order integrating the defense industries. Huge, huge action that again, Randolph threatened a march on Washington in 1940, late forties, and got Truman to move on, integrating the military.
And then finally they did do a march on Washington in sixty three. And it had a profound impact on moving not just a constitutional amendment to get rid of the poll tax, but civil rights, voting rights. Except what we know is that a depression works. So then why isn't the pressure why do we try to talk it down? We can't deny money in politics. It's real. And despite all the talk we have of. Oh, yeah, now we've figured out how to raise money from the grassroots and stuff like that.
Most Democrats, at least in leadership positions, have not been trained to that kind of thinking. They're not inclined toward that kind of thinking. And in some cases, they really have spent so much time raising the money from those folks and hanging out with the lobbyists that they actually does leave it right. They believe that they need this money and they believe that they have to kind of like cut the corners and go into this centrist route because and this is the most dangerous argument that comes from the media.
You know, America's kind of a center right country. Right. You hear that. You've heard that a million times. And you hear that from supposedly liberal commentators say America's center right country. We're not the post. So quite the opposite. That's that's false. It's a scorching lie. And yet it has been so incorporated in and I'm not trying to give anybody excuses. This isn't to let somebody off the hook. It is to just say that if we're going to be honest about what the problem is, this psychology has gotten so integrated into the way that the Democratic Party works that even when people who maybe came in for very, very good reasons can a very progressive right there now in these positions of power and there's a whole there's a machine operating.
It's a it's an infrastructure that that they're so familiar with that they are frightened by and actually resistant to somebody coming in and saying, you could do this really differently. We could do this in a really better way. And you saw that happen in twenty sixteen, where it was clear at a certain point that Bernie Sanders was far more in touch with kind of where the moment was right. And yet Democratic leadership said we can't do that. That's that is totally unacceptable.
And so you actually see a situation where they will talk themselves out of winning. They would talk themselves out of winning because it would require them to do something in a way that they don't want to do because they actually are sold out to bad premises or B and I think this is actually just as dangerous that they don't think they can do because they so desperately fear being called radical or socialist or militant or whatever. The interesting thing about it is that years ago there was a big push by the Republicans to call Barack Obama a socialist right after he came in as president.
Instead, they everything everything is the socialist. It got to the point where on Fox one time Sarah Palin was on with Sean Hannity and they were talking about doing window treatments to keep the cold out. And the government had a plan for that. And they said this is socialism and weatherization is socialism. And the interesting thing was that finally The New York Times reporter asked Barack Obama in an interview, I believe, at the White House said, look, I know this is crazy and we're even embarrassed to ask it.
I ask you that. But is there a chance that I mean, there's all this talk about you being a socialist. What do you what do you think about that? Right. Obama's response was, no, that's silly. I'm not a socialist. Of course not. So. Double triple certification homosocial, it's totally not Kappler to my bones. Yeah, and so it's done the interviews done right.
The guy goes back and then in a relatively unprecedented thing, this is actually the guy reporter actually wrote about it in an article in a relatively unprecedented thing. The president of the United States called him up at his office and said, you know, about that socialism thing we were talking about. I just want to really super duper, double extra emphasize I'm not a socialist. Right. And you're thinking, why does Barack Obama, the brilliant man, one of the more capable people, I would argue, to to ever achieve the presidency in a very capable communicator as well?
Why does he feel the necessity to do that, that he has to make sure that that nobody would think that that's what he's doing, whereas the super successful Democratic presidents and if you look at Roosevelt and even Galai often criticized Truman when they came up with their case, they laughter they were like, this is this is what the Republicans always say when they don't want you to get Social Security. This is what the Republicans want. You know, I mean, Truman had a great on.
And I always, always note that John F. Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, you know, in a speech to newspaper editors in the late 50s, went on and on about Marx. So, you know, Karl Marx was a reporter for a New York newspaper at one time. This is in the midst of the Red Scare. And he was comfortable talking about this stuff. Now you've got this class of people who are terrified, these leaders who are just terrified of it.
And I know it's a long answer and I apologize for it. But the reason I give the long answer is because I think that people who get to the higher echelons of the Democratic Party have literally taken this in to such an extent that the question of whether they're doing it because they really are in the service of the moneyed interests and they just want to do it or because they just don't think they can do it any other way, whatever it is in this flurry of influences and pressures, that's where the Democratic Party defaults to.
And then they lose so many cities to part that they have to compromise and then they lose. So how do we break? That's right.
Right. And so that's why I'm almost like less interested. And what's motivating what I'm just going to call bad actors and more interested about what's motivating the people who should be the militant pressure points to not fulfill that role. I want to go back to the point you made earlier about kind of like pundit brain and everybody's feeling like they got to, you know, weigh in and seem like the smart person in the room, in the reasonable person and the pragmatic person, because I do think that that kind of thinking has infected the left in a really interesting and frankly frustrating way where there is a real allergy to being perceived as having tried something for fear that you might be perceived of having tried and failed something.
And I wonder if you can speak to the historical put that in the context of a historical trajectory of left movements and whether or not that allergy to failure is something that is new. Because to me, it's one of the most toxic influences that I that I see around here.
If if a plan doesn't have 100 percent risk of passing 100 percent certain, I'm sorry.
One hundred and seventy is passing. It is perceived as you're a moron. Basically, you're just the most, you know, immature person. The kinds of things that folks used to say about Bernie and Bernie supporters are you must just be a 19 year old living in your parents basement. Doesn't know anything about the world is the kind of messaging that I feel from other parts of the left.
One of the things that people say to me a lot, you've probably said to me at some point, oh, you're so optimistic. Right. And and the fact of the matter is that everyone says that to those of us who are optimistic and I'm a great optimist, there is simply no question that everyone who says it is implicitly saying. Yeah, you know, you've got this default optimistic position, right, you believe these things are possible, and so I can't really take that seriously.
Right. It's fun to hear you speak about it. But really, at the end of the day, I'm going to need to go find a cynic to tell me we can't do this because that person I know it's right. That person I know is more experienced. That person I know just kind of they've got their finger on the pulse better because cynicism. Right. And skepticism and a certainty that things aren't possible. That's realistic. We're actually that's we're taught that that that is hard core jammed into us not just in politics, but throughout life.
But here's the interesting thing about it. I actually think that, by and large, as somebody who's been a pundit, who's been around it a lot, that I think cynicism and skepticism, by and large, are there evidence that you're scared and that maybe you're afraid you really don't know what's possible? And the easiest thing to say is you could turn out bad. You know, maybe it's not a good idea to try that. And the people I learned from are the people who never had a chance.
It was never going to work. You know, it was it was always an uphill drive and it was unlikely to succeed and yet spent their lifetime doing it. When I was a kid, one of my first big projects ever worked on was an oral history of veterans of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade that fought in the Spanish Civil War against fascism. They were America's premature antifascists. They were people from not just New York City or San Francisco, but from rural Wisconsin, where I come from, who when Franco rose up against the elected government of Spain with the support of Hitler and Mussolini in the nineteen thirty, said, this is it.
This is the fight against fascism, and our government won't do what it needs to do. So they literally went illegally into Spain to fight against fascism, to join the people, the farmers, the peasants of Spain, to fight against Franco and the fascists and half of the Americans who went died. And the other half came home, survived, and then they were told they were premature antifascists and because they were on the left, they were chased throughout.
Sometimes they were even allowed to fight in World War Two because they were thought to be two antifascist in the aftermath. And I'm not kidding. In the aftermath of World War Two, they were red baited. They were chased out of jobs. They were even fired by unions. Right. And when I encountered these folks, men and women, mostly men in the 1980s, you know, kind of later 1980s, they were old by then. They had been at it for more than 50 years.
The youngest of them was gay. And AIDS Rowden, who had joined up with like 14 or 15. And he was like seventy. Right. So, I mean, they were they were old and yet they were still at it. They would show up at Central America protests. They would show up at labor protests. They would knock doors and picket and campaign and believe. And the interesting thing about it was that you saw at the end of the day that they were right about everything.
They got things wrong along the way, but they knew that they wanted economic and social and racial justice. They wanted an international order in which colonialism and imperialism were taken on. Some of them were communists, some of them were socialists. Some of them were just independent radicals. But they were clearly on the left and they got beat up a lot for you. Could any one of them, any one of them you can look at and say, why wouldn't you just give up?
Why wouldn't you not believe? And yet you do. The weirdest things that I interviewed were incredibly optimistic. They believed. They believed. And now we look at, OK, what were they for? A lot of the things they were for and the things that were we're still wrestling with, we're still trying to get around to. And so the lesson I take from it is we need to be optimistic. We need to believe in what is possible, because at the end of the day, those moments come right where everything's thrown out away.
You have a pandemic that the government is unprepared to deal with and mass unemployment that extends from oh, my gosh, I know that will never happen. But let's say that if that happened, right. And then suddenly we find out, oh, the government's got trillions of dollars, they can spend money like crazy. Right. And I thought we had deficits and debts and we couldn't do anything. No, no. It turns out we can do we can get as much money as we want.
Oh, really? So suddenly everything you told us we couldn't do was a lie. Right. All right. So if it's a lie, then maybe it's a lie that we can't have single payer health care and maybe it's a lie that we can't have a living wage for everybody. And maybe in these moments, those of us who believe in what is necessary, step in with our answers and we succeed. Now, you can tell me that's never going to happen, John, and you're just too naive and you're too optimistic and stuff like that.
But at the end of the day, I'm going to believe it. I'm going to believe that that's the point, because I think that was the point of the abolitionists in the period from the founding of this country and original sin until the Civil War, they kept pushing. You could you could be born, live your entire life and die an old person as an abolitionist and not see the end of slavery. And yet they carried that struggle forward. And the point came where something happened, something real happened.
You can be a Philip Randolph, right. The perhaps the most radical guy in New York City in nineteen seventeen nineteen eighteen. They called him the most dangerous man in America. He published the messenger of Socialist publication. He was radical. He ran for statewide office in New York on Eugene Victor Debs, his ticket. You know, I mean, boy, come on, what chance is that guy have? Right. And he ended up organizing the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters, got on the AFL-CIO board.
They still ridiculed and pushed him aside, said he believed too much. You never joined the Democratic Party. He remained a socialist throughout his life. And yet he got into those rooms with presidents of the United States. He made demands. He called the march on Washington in nineteen sixty three and on the morning after the March on Washington March on Washington was great. The morning after a Philip Randolph, they actually had the Socialist Party's gathering to kind of deconstruct the march in Randolph was there, right?
If you read the report, which, by the way, is covered by The New York Times because New York Times used to cover socialist. No. Did you? OK, and just much more thoroughly than they do now. If you read the article, which, by the way, on the front page, New York Times, Philip Randolph's response after that incredible march, after that incredible moment when they went to the White House and had sandwiches with John Kennedy and got their picture taken at the Lincoln Memorial and everything, A.
Philip Randolph said, folks, we're going to have to do some more marching. And he was completely unsatisfied. He said we got to do. And what did he turn around and do? In a matter of about two years, they had developed their freedom budget for all Americans. They literally proposed a social democracy and they got into Lyndon Johnson's office and he ending this and working on it. And I guess what I would say is I'm with those folks.
I'm with the folks who believe that we get ready for our moment. We have our marches, we have our pressure, we push. And sometimes it works. Right. It actually happens. You have you have a march. You have other incidents that occur of great consequence. And then you get you get accustomed. You'll never get real people to actually get Civil Rights Act. You get the Voting Rights Act, you get a war on poverty, you get Medicare and Medicaid or in two years.
Right. And I am always of the view that that two years is always out there. It's always possible. And I think that the only thing often that stops us from getting that is a Democratic Party that says, oh, this isn't the time. We're just not going to do it now. We'll do it someplace down the line. We'll have to build to it. And so the tragedy of it is, I can guarantee you that so many opportunities have been missed because of cynicism.
I guarantee you. Yeah, Bill Clinton had gone for single payer Medicare for all health care in nineteen ninety three. He might have lost the initial vote, but they would not have had the setbacks that they did. In nineteen ninety four, Clinton would have been reelected. Ninety eight, they would have done better. And at some point along that line we would have gotten single payer. I know that to be true and I know that so many other things that we should have now, we could have gone except for people at the top level of the Democratic Party who kept saying it's not the time, it's too far to go.
And so if we remember that history, if we understand that history and this is the point at which we have to say no more, what do you think that now is the moment to throw down over a fifty dollar minimum minimum wage?
Because the argument goes, if you have a must pass bill, the pressure should go both ways.
The pressure shouldn't just be that we concede to everything Joe Manchin and Christian sentiment. It should also be that it's an opportunity for progressives, potentially the six or seven or eight progressives in the House that could hold the thing up and demand the inclusion of a fifteen dollar minimum wage, the same way that we're told that moderate Democrats demand the exclusion of a 15 year minimum wage. You know, there's the understanding that we're not going to have more leverage during the next reconciliation process, but less you talked about the word necessary and what's necessary for millions of Americans with record levels of unemployment.
We all know it's disproportionately affecting black and brown people and women. All of the stats that are so horrible that you will hear when you turn on NPR divorced from the solution. So, I mean, obviously, there are risks to doing this and there's a public perception battle that will fall out around whether or not progressives are right to hold up all of this much needed relief. But what's your view on whether or not this is the time for that particular fight?
That's a great question. And I'm going to give you the best answer. I don't know. And I wish I could tell you for sure that that I know. What I do know is this frontline workers working for state and local government have been stretched to the limit in Mitch McConnell through all of twenty twenty on the Heroes Act, that the previous version refused that funding. And now we're in a situation where you have that ability to make government function, make it possible for government to function at the state and local level.
That is a very managerial response I acknowledge upfront as a critic of a managerial approach. But I also know that, hey, those people to make that happen, it's an incredibly valuable right. And a lot of the other things that are there in this measure are valid. And so at some fundamental level, I hate to say it, but I think we missed we already missed the open, tragically. I mean, when was the opening? It was when the parliamentarian came on.
That was the point at which to say no.
Should Bernie Sanders have declined to vote? For the bill, I think that British should have done it alone, but I think a group of people should have I think that they should have said we can't do this.
I mean, all it takes is Bernie. I'm not in the camp of and I'll say this bluntly and maybe people will be very uncomfortable with this. I'm not in the camp of saying one person should do that.
I mean, two people did it on the other end. Yes, I realize and that's what I think, is that you need to organize a group of people to do it right. And would there have been the group? I think there would have been. I think there was a sufficient number of people there. I think the parliamentarian fight was was the fight. And it was a brilliant, perfect argument. And it just horrifies me that it didn't happen.
So, yes. Do I think would I have preferred in that moment to have seen even an individual senator, but certainly a group of senators say this is unacceptable. This is this is absurd.
Who do you imagine it would have been along with Bernie? Conceivably, Jeff Merkley?
I think quite, quite likely. The fact of the matter is there's quite a few quite a few folks. There were clearly people who were willing to work with Bernie Sanders on what was a brief. It was like a 30 second theory of how they were going to do this, which was that they were going to use tax policy to pressure corporations to raise wages to fifteen dollars. And that was abandoned for reasons of complexity. But at that point, he had Ron Widen and other people.
You know, it wasn't just Bernie. There was there was a group of folks. The truth of the matter is you've probably got a good half dozen more Democratic senators now who are at that place, who are there. Elizabeth Warren is another example of somebody who who could be and should be there. And so then the question becomes, and this is true in the house as well. Right. The question becomes, how do you get that group to start working if you don't want the individual person to be the one who is said, OK, that's the one that's stopping everything good from happening right in our media system, in our political systems in this country are designed to destroy that person and are designed to to undermine them no matter how courageous they are.
And so I do think you need a block of people there ready to move as a group and to say we just aren't going to do this. This is not this is not going to happen. And so there is a Congressional Progressive Caucus operating in the House. I think you need a Senate Progressive Caucus. And I think you need or at least you need people who are ready to do that. But rather than get down to the individuals, because I'm often very cautious about a politics built around individuals and more interested in kind of where the movements are and what we do and how we make things happen.
And it strikes me that it was pretty clear the 15 dollar minimum wage issue was going to be the one that was going to be the fighting point. And this is where the movement needed to be there. And I'm not blaming people for this. Right. But I am saying, why not? Well, because I think individuals probably would have been I think there's individuals who would have come right. But where is the call to come? Where is the movement?
Leadership, I would say, is you deserve some critique here. Absolutely.
And that's the thing. I mean, where where is the presence? Right. And look, Washington's been through a lot of help of late. Right. You know, you had January six and everything in the aftermath of that. And I think there's a there's a lot of fences up right now, literally, literally. But at some fundamental level, if fifteen dollars, which I think is a really big deal, I think this is the fundamental thing.
You're doubling people's wages. And by the way, that's not radical to do. Harry Truman did that in 1940, not to get after one of the forty eight election became a Democrat Congress. They raised the minimum wage, not quite double that. They got pretty close to it. So it's not this is not unprecedented in our history. It's doable. It's within within the realm of reason to do a huge spike. And we knew that was going to be a battleground.
To their credit, Joe Manchin and Kirsten Sinema told us this is where they were going to say no. So at that point, why not have a fight? Why not do it? And if there is a loss, if it doesn't succeed, well, then we know the power, right? We know what we're at. But if you don't kind of rally in and you'll come to DC and go to those Washington, I go to those offices across the country and put the pressure on at an intense level.
We don't know what we might have been able to do there. And, you know, before a moment ago when we talked about those missed opportunities. Right. What might have been possible in nineteen sixty seven, what might have been possible in nineteen ninety three, I fear that we will look back at February into March of two thousand and twenty one and say what might have been possible moment. We had a moment where.
But isn't that a reason to say regardless of the risks, regardless of the media, the public battle that is going to what would emerge if that house progressives were to hold this up or appreciate why it would be better for Bernie to be acting as a block?
But absent a block, if someone like Bernie Sanders, who I obviously have immense respect for, but who was also by any metric at the end of his career, one would imagine, you know, at a certain point, what are you saving up cultural capital for? Why not go out in a blaze of glory under saying that this really does feel like a last stand of sorts? I mean, when do you anticipate us having an opportunity for a fifty dollar minimum wage?
Again, truly, because it looks like we're going to lose that. You know, given how Democrats are behaving, the odds that we lose the House, our real Senate, both, who knows it's going to be a bloodbath next midterms and then there'll be a perfect ready made excuse for why the Biden administration can't do anything at all. And then who knows what's going to happen four years from now. So that being the case and this crisis being looked at, being something that looms in the background, it's hard for me to value the abstract desire to have Bernie Sanders have backup or to say, I don't know that the progressives should take this on, given how needed the covid bill is, if we really say what we believe about the necessity of a 15 dollar minimum wage.
I agree with you.
Yeah, I think I think it's some fundamental level. That's where we get to. I think it's a credible argument that that's the right thing to do. And I write I'll write it up in a minute tomorrow.
But that argument and you'll note that today I wrote a piece for The Nation in which I my argument, I can never remember my headlines, but it was something along the lines of Democrats who are resisting a fifty dollar wage are the Republicans best allies. And that was actually looking toward the twenty twenty two, twenty, twenty four elections. And so I'm not going to argue with you. I think that is the credible that is the credible argument and it is a legitimate point at which to make the fight.
I think this was a point at which to make the fight and it frustrates me greatly that it did not happen. It has not happened. And again, though, I'm going to put on my optimist hat sorry, my apologies, but I'm going to put it on and I'm going to say that administrations do learn and also movements learn. They have a dance. There's a relationship in these early stages. The question now is, what do we do with the knowledge that we have?
What do we do with the experience of this covid bill? How do we come back? And it strikes me that there's a couple of things that are absolutely necessary. If you give the minimum wage in this process, you can get the increase in this process. And also, I would strongly emphasize, if you got the nickel and diming of unemployment, if you got the the means testing of direct payments, there's a lot of stuff that went awry here.
If that's the case, then how do we prepare for what comes next? How do we deal with what's going on? And it does strike me that that this is the point at which some absolute demands have to be made as regards Senate rules and filibusters. And I know that's boring stuff, but this is the point at which we have to call people out on this and make it kind of a fundamental fight. And the interesting thing is our comrade Joe Manchin on Sunday, if you watch the Sunday shows, he did an interview in which he said, yeah, I might be open to like a talking filibuster.
And now if you want to make it a little bit more painful, make him stand there and talk. I'm willing to look at any way we can, but I'm not willing to take away the involvement of the minority.
Well, that's all anybody's ever been talking about is making move into that. So if Manchin showing that openness, then I think we put the pressure on Chuck Schumer and Joe Biden and we literally say, OK, you can clearly negotiate with Joe Manchin on this, maybe even Kyrsten Sinema. What are you going to do this? How bad does it have to get before you make the change, before you make the rule change and you do the thing that is necessary?
It's it's one vote, right? It's a 50 50 plus Kamala Harris vote.
And I think it's unacceptable that Joe Biden seems to be signaling now that he's not there with that he's not there with filibuster reform, doesn't have any thoughts on a filibuster to support a filibuster, especially now that some more moderate Democrats are now saying that they would like to see some filibuster reform in his view and his position hasn't changed.
What the hell? I mean, what do we do that right then? We are going to have a situation where the House of Representatives is going to pass, as they already have, H.R. one. Right. They've got the politics. They passed the George Floyd reform policing. They're going to do the pro act, which is pro labor piece of legislation. They're going to do just kind of run down the list and it's something environmental will come. They're going to pass a whole bunch of stuff.
Going to be close votes right there, going to Pelosi will actually have to pressure some Democrats to do the right thing, but they'll get it passed and then all of these things will pile up at the Senate door and nothing will happen. And the fact of the matter is that will be unimaginably destructive. And now you bring me around to your to the argument or the discussion we were having a moment ago of at some point there has to be that the demand has to be that you got to fix this or you have to accept that this isn't going to work and you're going to end up with it sometime in November of twenty, twenty two.
And let me emphasize, in November, twenty, twenty two people aren't going to remember the American rescue plan. That isn't going to be remembered just like in 2010. In 2010. Did people remember Obama's rescue plan? He did a huge amount of money. Better part of a trillion dollars. Right. That didn't get it didn't work in November 2010.
Do you think it's different because of the checks, though, that people feel that better, will feel that more personally than Obama's?
You know, maybe they're going to get the check and cash it. And do you remember all the checks you got two years ago? What checks that I get two years ago?
I don't know how much you get from Vladimir Putin. No, man, I got to remember the checks you got two years ago.
I mean, I remember some, but I don't think I'd remember fourteen hundred. Maybe I would I'd be thrilled to get 49.
I mean, maybe if it's a physical check, like for my mother or something, that's the only time I would get a check. It's called direct deposit these days. Yeah.
Bitcoin and so it's. Yeah but it's in your Venmo or whatever. And so, but then it gets to the question of and again and this this is the heart of it. Maybe the biggest thing about David Bowie, who is best political philosopher, the modern and not the best apolitical, said in the 1990s. So things are moving so fast, everybody's having trouble keeping. Right, and this is one of the greatest innovators in music and so many other things, I bring that up because that was twenty five years ago, that a product 30 years ago saying things are moving so fast.
I think these have just sped up that we have so much coming at us and so much communication in so many ways. I don't think that anybody's going to remember the checks. I think they would remember the checks if you did what Rokita has proposed two thousand dollars every month until we get out of it, out of the problem. But I don't think that that I mean, hold it. Let me ask you this a different way. Do you remember the six hundred dollars you got?
I mean, I didn't get anything. There you have it.
I couldn't even get to be to be honest, I couldn't even get through and get unemployment when I was unemployed after that. The campaign like it just logistically. At some point they sent me a card, but the card never worked and I just gave up.
I mean, did people remember the checks that they got from Trump or did they remember the fact that they were not getting another check before November?
And when Trump was in trouble in December after he had lost, what did he become really enthusiastic for that two thousand dollar checks, man.
And, you know, great political instincts. Donald Trump did not say, let's means test him. Right. Let's let's not give them as much and let's not let's not give it to as many people. And so here's the bottom line on all of this. If the Democrats in power do not regularly deliver month after month throughout this period and keep getting things done right, the memories will be short. The frustrations could be to be large. And, you know, the fact is, I always think the most dangerous thing that is ever created in politics was the theory of the first hundred days, if you like.
Oh, yeah. Get it all fixed in one hundred days. Well, Roosevelt didn't do that into the Wagner Act, which gave labor rights in the first hundred days into Social Security in the first hundred days. The rural electrification, first hundred days. You know, the first hundred days was basically managerial. It was getting the banks literally collapsing most of what the New Deal was to place month after month, year after year, over a period of time.
And you know what? Ultimately, people came to love it. They came to like an activist government. They kept doing things. And so what I'm talking about here is the question of whether this democratic government, the party government that we have now will be activist throughout its just two years that it's been given this this narrow window of opportunity. If it is not, then pattern is very likely to hold and they're very likely to lose power and they're very likely to end up in a situation where Joe Biden, the second two years of his presidency, he can't govern in any kind of fundamental way that ought to scare all of them.
And it is sort of the answer to your question of who is the hero? Who is the villain here? I think those who have the critique, those who stand up and challenge movements and individuals in Congress, they're not villains. They're the ones who are actually trying to save this thing from falling apart.
John, I just had a couple follow ups as we approach the climax of this interview. We know we've been talking about this legislative fight, about the fight for 15. Looking at the broader horizon, what do you make of the argument that the Democratic Party in the neoliberal era, at least, is structurally designed to safeguard the status quo, to redirect or innovate radical passions and radical ideas?
I would say, yes, that the Democratic Party is not a political party that is inclined to go for it, to go for the big the big one. It's better. The Democratic Party is actually better than it was for two reasons. Right now it's better because the times are so demanding and it's literally there is a certain pressure to to step up. It's better because movements and movement, political figures have come in and influenced it both from inside and outside.
And so you are seeing evidence of the influence of the left on this party, right? It has. You'd see some real evidence that there's there's been some movement, but some movement is insufficient to the moment and runs the very profound risk that it sort of dials down the enthusiasm. The great progressive senator of the last century, Robert McFarlane, who was asked about reform versus change, fundamental change, and he referred to reform or a lot of reforms as half a loaf.
And people say, well, take a half a loaf. Right. That's that's pretty good. It's not a whole loaf of bread, but it's half a loaf in the Follette said half a loaf dulls the appetite for the meal that you actually need. And so I think that that the Democratic Party has. For a very long time, then a half a loaf. It gives you progress, it gives you things that that you want in many ways and some very good things.
And you're going to get some right now with the American Rescue Act and with some other things and you get some good executive orders and stuff like that. And that's good. That manages the moment. Did it? It's progress, I guess. But but if you go back to that government, the trouble with normal is it always gets worse. It's just managing doesn't get us out of the crisis that we're in. And if the Democratic Party is a managerial party, it's not getting us to where we need to be.
Then, as an optimist, how do you square that circle of people agree with that proposition, that that's what the party does, that's what it's built to do. Then what's going to change all this?
Well, I'm for multiparty democracy. I mean, I like a system where you have a lot of options. Our problem is that we have a rigged system in America. And it always one of the things that's striking about me is that you will hear politicians say, oh, the system is rigged, it's a rigged system. We'll talk about the economy being rigged. They'll sometimes even talk about politics being written, but they won't talk about the biggest rigging of all, which is the two party system.
It literally is a system set up so that you've got two options and you are overwhelmingly your energy into each of these parties, one or the other, and you kind of hope to move the ship one way or the other. And I'm open to that. I'm open to the I wrote a book about this long struggle for the soul of the Democratic Party, which now I would argue has been going on for 80 years, more than 80 years in some ways.
And some people say, well, yeah, but isn't that the evidence that you give up? No, it's not the evidence that you give up. It's fine. I have great respect for people who work within the Democratic Party to move it left. And if they could find a way to do that, fantastic. But I do not reject those who say, look, you know, an external pressure can also have an impact. And ultimately, do I favor political reform that would make us it would allow us to have multiparty democracy where you really had competing forces?
Yes, I think that would be better. Do you want to get me going on reforms also to talk about the US Senate? And I'm not I'm not so sure that's such a healthy institution either to start to really talk about what we need and how the changes we need. I always hear people say, well, let's get rid of the Electoral College. Yeah, of course, let's get rid of the Electoral College. But let's also talk about the United States, an incredibly unrepresentative body where a handful of people can literally stop what the great mass of Americans want.
If we object to the Electoral College, why don't we also question literally the constructs that give us the Senate that that is such a challenge. And I know that those are bigger conversations. Those are the conversations that take people way beyond the intricacies of the moment. But the fact of the matter is that when I look around the world and I cover a lot of politics around the world, I have been lucky enough to cover elections in twenty five different countries.
What I have seen in that experience of being in other places and looking at a democracy play out in other places is that there's a tremendous benefit to, at a certain point saying our system is not working, it doesn't function. We need to rip some things up and and create a new system. We need to restructure the way it works. And most countries in the world have done that. We are now an outlier. The country that was supposedly the great revolutionary country is now the one that hasn't had a lot of constitutionalism.
And I really want to get down to the heart. I know it's not necessarily the question you asked, but it's some fundamental level. It's a fundamental level. I do think that there is a very strong argument for a movement for radical constitutional reform in this country that gets us a couple of steps closer to democracy and that that does involve being frustrated with the Democratic Party.
I agree with you on closing things out and thinking about a.. Philip Randolph coming in to lecture these Democratic presidents about building social democracy.
Makes me wonder who other than people the judge is going to be the socialist to get in the Oval Office and tell Biden what's what?
Do you have any suggestions?
Yeah, look, look, the fact of the matter is, a.. Philip Randolph never took a cabinet post. Philip Randolph refused the nomination that was offered to him, or at least he was encouraged to seek in nineteen forty four to represent Harlem in Congress. And there was a lot of pressure on him to to make that move. He always refused the opportunity to be in the room officially. He chose to force his way into the room to demand that he get a hearing and he got that hearing.
Now I want to emphasize that Philip Randolph was actually very pragmatic, gets back to some of these discussions we've just had about when you stand up and when you make your demand. He did not do marches on Washington sometimes when he had threatened to do them because he got enough progress, not everything he wanted. He wanted an end to segregation and racism and discrimination. There's so much he wanted to address, but he was willing to take a win along the way.
But the genius of Philip Randolph was that he was ready to come back the next day and demand something more that line them. You know, I think we're going to have to do some more march. So I do think that that this is one of the biggest problems in America today. And I know it's a terrible way to run things out and finish off by saying, here's by the way, here's here's the biggest problem in America today, just what you want.
But I think this is one of the biggest problems in America today. Our media is almost entirely but almost incapable of covering people who aren't elected officials as they make demands. Now, tremendous credit to the Black Lives Matter movement, which was a grassroots movement that actually did get noticed. Right. But it took immense energy and weeks in the streets and dramatic demands, many of which have still not been met. Right. But there is there's still evidence that you can you can do that.
But here's the interesting thing. When I go and talk, Antonsen, I give a speech back in the old historic days when you actually spoke it physically. I would always before I got the speech, I'd always go to an antique store and I get a daily newspaper from that town because they always sell and they got a stack of them in the corner. You can get for like five dollars and you get one from some random date 50 years before.
And I'd go up to the crowd and say, well, let's take a look at the front page of the newspaper. First off, there's 20 stories on the front page, not five, because they actually had a lot of journalism and they didn't take a big picture to try and make you think the false longstreth that you're actually getting news. They actually put a lot of a lot of information. And who was on the front page? I remember being up in Duluth, Minnesota, one time and I had a copy of the paper from up there and his front page article, Ralph Nader talking about from 50 years earlier, talking about some consumer issue, civil rights folks talking about something else, anti-poverty campaigners talking about something else and going to the White House and meeting with the president.
And in a high profile, big deal way like this mattered as much as if Joe Manchin came over our media use to cover politics as if it was actually politics. Right. And that meant that the whole of the thing now our media has its narrow set of legitimized figures, those who we will listen to and we push aside movement folks. And so in a roundabout to long way, I'm sure the answer to your question about Philip Randolph, we need a new Philip Randolph.
We need a whole bunch of Philip Randolph. We need him to do exactly what Randolph did, which is to say, I will meet with the president and I will make my demands. If the president moves immediately, we will not have that march. If the president doesn't, we will have that march. And once we have that march, one way or the other, then we will start planning the next March, because it is a permanent opposition to whoever is in power, right.
Until those in power give you what you need. And at the end of the day. We talk too much about what politicians should do. We have to talk about that, what the people demand, but I'm not putting it all on the people. I'm not saying, oh, yeah. So the people have to make this happen. No, I'm putting it on our media system in this country, our failed, awful damaging media system in this country, which so diminishes independent and dissident voices.
And I'm quite bluntly saying I'm glad to be on this podcast with people who are asking questions that actually are a little tougher and push a little harder. And this is what media is going to have to be able to hear you say that.
I was worried you were going to close out by telling us to stop talking about Joe Manchin so much.
I was going to do that, John, if you really want to help us, how could you say nobody rocks like bad faith? Nobody.
Nobody rocks like bad faith. No, that's not real. As a as a as a person of faith. Right. Which I am I have to acknowledge to you that that I prefer a good faith.
But we have no I am surprising to anyone who listen to the show.
Virgil put out the name Bad Faith. He threw it out there and I said, that sounds kind of good, but what about good faith? And I think he was right.
I think that bipartisan adjectival at the better sounds like a Christian adult. Contemporary.
Yeah, I see that as a as a person of faith who actually does believe in some of that stuff. See, that's why it probably appeals to me. But I can tell you that my call him a friend, certainly somebody I've interacted with along a lot over the years, Wayne Kramer, who was from the NC five, one of the greatest rockers of all time, the My Guy.
I think his genius was that he understood sometimes to be the bad boy could have some power. And so maybe the Barnfather argument doesn't little I guess bad faith sounds more like a rock band than good thing.
My favorite story from Please Kill Me, which is a classic book. Everyone should read it. Bree, I'll send you my copy.
Sometimes it literally can I just tell you I want you to story because I'm done it, I think. It's the bookshelf looking to see if I sound like an idiot here, because we cannot we cannot see your books.
I got your look on to state. Stay with me.
Oh, he's got a ladder and everything. I'm jealous. He's putting us to shame right now. And they're like, I think they're doubled into this.
Like, so so please kill me. It's got to be on the other bookshelf inside. But I do have Julian Cote's we have our bookshelf a mess.
But I do have Julian Pope's history of head on its history of punk and alternative rock in Liverpool. So that's something. All right. Please tell me the story was I think it was Kramer.
They had some kind of debt. I don't know. It's like credit card debt or something like, yeah, they got a call from a debt collector and someone picks up and says, stop fucking calling us. We're heroin addicts. Want I pay our debts. And that's that story is why I never voluntarily paid my student loans.
That's kind of cool. That's that's a good one in the book. I think it's the book Detroit Rock City, which is a history. I hope I've got the title right. It's a history of rock and roll in Detroit. The guys at the Embassy five tell a story about how they had moved into the inner city. You know, like right before the Detroit riots of nineteen sixty seven. And they were out partying hard one night. And I know that's going to be shocking to you at the time.
And so they slept in a little bit and things have been pretty crazy the night before, but they had gotten used to sleeping in. As the story goes, they got up and they're like semi dressed and opened the front door of their place and there was a tank in their front yard with its turret turned toward them. And they said, well, this is getting serious. Things are getting real here in Detroit. And just to give you an example of why that matters to what we're talking about, I will argue again that most of what we should know comes from rock and roll, that Wayne Kramer is absolutely one of the most brilliant political commentators that I know and that Wayne Kramer from the AMC five still around, just played guitar, I believe, on the new Alice Cooper album.
Wayne Kramer in his incredible brilliance after getting busted and spend some time behind bars for this incredible prison reform group, Jail Guitar Doors, that gets guitars to prisoners and helps them to get into music that also works too long before it became kind of a thing just working on prison reform at a fundamental level. He's one of the most moral, decent people in the world. And, well, I love spending the better part of two hours talking about politics.
What I would rather have done is two hours of rock and roll, because my optimism tells me that there's there's always more good coming from rock and roll.
We can definitely make that happen on a future episode, especially if you can get Wayne on.
Oh, yeah, Wayne, I won't speak for him. But, you know, I mind you get in trouble for that. I think he would. Come on, you know, he's he's a totally he's a deeply political guy. You know, he played a gig for Bernie. I know that in Davenport, Iowa. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a fabulous thing in twenty fifteen. This is he was he was there early. I'm pretty sure it was Davenport. If I, if it's those years on the road you start to lose sight of some things, but I'm pretty sure it was Davenport. Wayne came out and played along with a bunch of other people and he was fabulous and he got the point he was really good. But the best thing, one of the best things we ever did, I can tell you that back in ancient Virgil, how old are you?
I'm thirty four. Thirty four. OK, when you were in I think it's before you were in high school we organized a movement for media reform because I've been complaining about the media all your life. So we organized a movement for media reform. We had a big event in Madison, Wisconsin. Tom Morello came and folks from the coup and and other other rockers and players and different folks and the Chambers Brothers who did the song Time Has Come Today. And we had this fabulous show right where we had everybody smart in politics had spoken, Bill Moyers and Studs Terkel and members of Congress and everybody at the end of the day, it was the the rockers and the soul folks who actually got the message across better than anybody else.
And so you want to do that? I'm ready. I'll even try and bring Wayne along. I love it. Let's do it.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. John, working our audience find you.
Your audience can find me in my garage where I'm at right now. No, The Nation magazine, we got the Nation Dotcom, the National Magazine of America.
Well, it's a magazine which I like quite a bit. Let me say a few things along the way. Also, I'm on Twitter at Nichols' Uprising. Which is an homage to the Wisconsin uprising of 2011 and your book, The Fight for the Soul of the Democratic Party is still available from Verso.
Better be. I'm doing an event with New Mexico progressives tomorrow night. And yes, I'm very enthusiastic about that, although I'm also enthusiastic that I'm writing the book right now about all the covid criminals and political horrible people. And it will include a lot of Republicans, but some Democrats as well.
Very much looking forward to that. Thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you. This is really wonderful. It's wonderful for me and I really like what you're doing. And I also like the two of you, so I'm glad to be here. Thank you. It really means a lot.
I really enjoyed that. Yeah, we sure kicked out the jams on that one.
I felt like we were talking to a kindred spirit. Yeah. Yeah, I like that a lot. I was great guest and a lot of interesting things. I never know what to say to him outright. Well, mainly because, like, I sometimes I want to make like an like a substantive point or comment on the conversation or continue on a line of argumentation. But then we'll be here for 15 minutes.
I mean, this was the worst and this was a long episode.
But generally speaking, sometimes I do feel like we should leave more room for, like post conversation hashing out, although you can stray into a realm where you're saying things that you probably should have said to someone's face, and then it can just feel like we're, you know, doing unfair editorialization. And it's a difficult balance.
I'll give you one thought that I had over the course of this interview, which is, you know, in Congress, Republicans have a lot of theory, people, a lot of ideologues who, you know, carry around their copies of The Fountainhead and they know their Ludwig von Mises, you know.
So the profile of George. All right. You know, so, you know, kind of fuck faces who are writing about, you know, free market shit in their college publications.
And there's no parallel on the Democratic side. I could not name a single Democratic member of a member of the House anyway who reads theory or adheres to a rigid set of ideological principles.
There's no one carrying around a copy of the Little Red Book.
Yeah, I mean, the right did a really good job of decrying Marxism. I'm not sure what else. I mean, even you know, I was I was quoted in an article as learning from the right or having some sympathy for the right. But really, I'm talking about Tea Party tactics that are Saul Alinsky tactics. But the the fact that these were left tactics have been completely forgotten or deliberately obscured. And so, yeah, there there was obviously a history and a tradition to draw upon.
But, you know, to Ralph Nader's point when he was on the show, there just doesn't seem to be any ideological interest in that or in a kind of storytelling which would be useful for messaging reasons to the public. Right. Well, we had the I think Eric Stiegel on and we were talking about the Supreme Court and all of that. My frustration with Fetlock has often been that the American Constitution Society, its counterpoint, doesn't really see itself as having to have an ideological vision.
They see themselves as like neutral. We're just neutral and the law is neutral. And to John's point, if one side is ratcheting far in the other direction and the other side is neutral, what you end up with is the right a rightward swing.
Yeah, I mean, you have I mean, you know, the right is, you know, mostly composed of frauds. But, you know, within the the super frauds are real ideologues who will really want to destroy the what scraps of social democracy we have in this country.
There's a lot of rancor on the left, to put it mildly, and there's quite a lot of pessimism, quite a lot of cynicism.
And I do think that to some degree, being able to articulate your principles in a way that's not focus group public relations crap, but like, you know, actually, you know, intellectually derive principles, theory and then say, OK, so this is what I follow and, you know, my actions are going to be based around that.
And maybe I'll compromise, you know, in order to get something done, whatever. But ultimately, that's my North Star. I think there's a great value in that.
You know, that's what I liked about our Rohana interview, where he was willing to really discuss these these distinctions between, you know, socialism and capitalism and why he believes that markets are necessary and things like that. I mean, I don't agree with him, but I am glad that he was willing to engage in some kind of intellectual discussion on those topics.
And, you know, you and every listener and listen to that interview right now by going to Patriot, not bad for podcast and becoming a subscriber to our humble little show that was smooth.
Virgile, I mean, maybe it is good to start off by commenting on the interview by saying something like less banal than that was fun.
Yeah, that's just five dollars a month at Patrón Dotcom. Such Bad Faith podcast. And look at all the great content you got. You get premium subscriber only episodes you've got. There's a comment section. You can abuse us by sending us messages.
You can be you can, you know, let your freak flag fly and just become a full friggin KARREN. Just complain about the show.
That's what five bucks gets you.
Those are the words of someone who doesn't read the comment and you can be found on YouTube dotcom slash bad people. As always, keep the debate was all about freedom when you're trying to be brave enough to let your. Thievin do it now. All need to system system.
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Not all sales jobs are created equally. Recently we surveyed our FB groups, email list and clients on what they thought the worst jobs in the sales industry were. I was actually surprised by the number one job. I figured the number two job would have been the top pick but … the facts don’t lie.
If you work in any of these five industries, then just know the public does not look favorably on you.
That’s a big-ass objection to overcome and my guess is that as soon as artificial intelligence can replace you, it will. Meanwhile, I’d urge you to look at other sales positions to occupy that might pay better and that will still be around in the next decade.
Lastly, don’t take this personally. I’m only trying to red pill you into the truth. I know the truth can piss you off, but only because you know it’s true. You work in sales. You have a choice in what you do and where you work. If you settle for any sales job instead of going all in and getting your dream sales job, you can’t blame anyone but yourself and that truth might sting a little.
This video was made to empower you and show you the other possibilities that lie out there, that are just waiting for you to make a good decision and take action. Sign up for my free training at www.funnelcloser.com
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Imagine a dog who could retrieve dropped belongings, turn light switches on and off or even hand packages or checks to a sales associate. Imagine one who works full time in a special education classroom or nursing home, helping engage students and residents in activities. Or even imagine one who can respond to noise alerts such as the end of a dryer cycle or a social media tone.
Canine Companions for Independence (CCI), the country’s “largest non-profit provider of assistance dogs,” breeds, trains and places working dogs all over the country who can do many of those things and more – over 40 specialized commands in all! With four specific types of dogs trained to provide assistance, chances are you’ve seen a CCI dog at her job, even if you didn’t realize it.
Types of Assistance Dogs
The four types of assistance dogs can be seen all over your community:
These pups assist adults with physical disabilities, performing functions ranging from pulling a manual wheelchair to handing items to a store clerk. They help their companions live more fully independent lives, and they also provide social support.
Skilled companion dogs
The folks who utilize these dogs don’t live alone but can use some extra assistance to help with independence from physical, cognitive or developmental disabilities. Skilled companion dogs offer a calming presence and can help the individual feel more self-reliant.
These hard workers put in a minimum of 20 hours a week at an approved facility working with a variety of individuals every day. A facility dog might work in a hospital, psychiatric facility, special education classroom, nursing home or even a courtroom. Oberto, a facility dog who works at a school for children with communicative disorders, was taught to turn book pages with his nose so the kids will want to read with him. Facility dogs offer companionship, encouragement and unconditional love.
CCI doesn’t train dogs to assist the blind, but they do offer working pups who can alert deaf or hard-of-hearing individuals to various sounds. These dogs are smart and adaptable and can quickly learn their companion’s schedule to respond to sounds unique to their lifestyle.
CCI, which opened in 1975, currently operates in all 50 states, with six regional training offices. This enables CCI to help anyone in the country get a service dog free of charge if they can demonstrate eligibility for one of their four kinds of assistance dog teams. It also makes their mandatory two-week training course relatively accessible geographically for the individuals granted an assistance dog.
Because CCI selectively breeds their puppies and has their own volunteers whelp and raise them until they’re old enough to be handed over to volunteer trainers, the organization can guarantee success every step of the way. The dedicated puppy raisers pay all the costs associated with raising the pups for the 18-22 months they have them. Harmony Animal Hospital is proud to partner with CCI by providing veterinary care for their dogs in the Triangle, including Oberto, Leith and Idle, all dogs that Monica Laliberte of WRAL – a long-time volunteer trainer for CCI – has raised. Recipients of a CCI dog have the peace of mind of knowing their companion has been carefully selected, cared for and trained up to the highest standard.
And CCI’s program works. In a recent bi-annual graduate study of every human-dog assistance team, all four types of working dogs scored over 90 percent in satisfaction ratings. Some highlights:
- 93 percent of service dog recipients have an improved emotional well-being.
- 97 percent of hearing dog recipients have an increased sense of safety.
- 97 percent of facility dog facilitators report clients are calmer than at the beginning of the dog’s tenure.
- 95 percent of skilled companion recipients report improved emotional well-being.
In addition to serving the general population, the nonprofit has launched the Wounded Veterans’ Initiative, a nationally recognized program that provides assistance dogs to wounded veterans. The dogs give a boost to returning soldiers trying to get their lives back after significant combat injury. So far, the program has been a resounding success. Says Matthew, a former athlete and Army veteran who became a quadriplegic following severe injuries in Iraq, about his new companion, “Gus allows me to be so much more independent. It’s easier to get around and having a buddy by my side to do things with has changed our lives.” Laliberte says she’s proud to help make “a wonderful difference for the people whose lives are forever changed by CCI Assistance Dogs – people who needed a hand and found a PAW!”
Canine Companions for Independence relies solely on private volunteers and funding to continue running. To make a donation that can help the organization with training service dogs, visit their site or call (866) 224-3647.
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On Saturday 1st October we take on Bradford City and a re-run of Team Harry Gator vs Team Black Sheep.Once again, we're teaming up with our official brewery partner, Black Sheep Brewery to offer you the chance to take part in a Half-time penalty shootout.
We're looking for two teams of five, from any home stand in the Envirovent Stadium to represent either Team Harry Gator or Team Black Sheep, taking penalties against each team's mascot - Harry Gator and a Pint of Black Sheep!
Each member of the winning team will take home an £50 voucher to spend online
To take part in the penalty shoot out, all you have to do is enter your details below. All entrants must be over the age of 18.
Entries will close Sunday 25th September at 11:59pm, all competitors will be selected at random and if chosen we will be in touch on Monday 26th September.
Terms & Conditions
- All entrants must be 18 years of age or older,
- Entries Close 11:59pm Sunday 25th September 2022
- All competitors will be selected at random
- Competitors must have completed the waiver form to compete
- The Winning team wins a £50 voucher to spend online at blacksheepbrewery.co.uk
- Prize is non-refundable or transferable to any other product or site.
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2023-09-29T23:26:15Z
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Nelson, B.C. Wadds Bros. 1902. Mounted Photograph. A wonderful image capturing the latest machinery being used in a Mine Concentrator in Ymir, British Columbia. It is interesting to note that this Wadds Brothers work of industrial photojournalism predates Dorothea Lange and Lewis Hine's famous American industrial photojournalism work by about 10 years. Photo measures 7.75 x 9.5 inches wide and is mounted onto a stamped photographer's card (Wadds Bros. / Vancouver and Nelson BC) measuring 12 x 14.25 inches wide. Photo is about Fine, mount w. pin holes, edge bumps, minor scratches and stains, verso with "Ymir, B.C. / 1902" and the initials "G.H.B." in black fountain pen ink. At Least Very Good. Item #4657
Ymir is a small village in the west Kootenay located just south of Nelson, B.C. It has a long history of both mining and gold strikes, which began with the famous Ymir Gold Mine in the 1890's.
Price: $275.00 CAD other currencies
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The church was originally built in 1791 for the Susquehanna Methodist Church congregation in East Durham, NY. After a period of time, the church moved to serve the Methodist Episcopal congregation of the neighboring community of Cornwallville, NY. The church building remained a meeting place for the small Methodist Episcopal population of the Durham area throughout the nineteenth and the first half of the twentieth centuries.
In the nineteenth century, Methodist pastors usually stayed between one and two years and then were reassigned to another location. Because they often served more than one church, a pastor would travel between communities to lead church services and attend other meetings during the week. Today, many rural pastors still continue to serve multiple congregations.
Cornwallville Church as a Community Center
Rural churches also functioned as community centers as well as the site of baptisms, communions, marriages, and funerals. Churches reinforced and promoted acceptable social behavior. Like many churches in New York State in the nineteenth century, it was a place where the moral leadership of the community met.
Many congregations supported reform movements such as abolition and temperance. While men held church offices, women often played a dynamic role in the church as leaders of missionary, benevolent, and Sunday school organizations. The church functioned as a place where local residents, visiting summer guests, and tourists worshipped together.
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HorseRacing Central – March 15th, 2013
HASTINGS RACECOURSE A BEEHIVE OF ACTIVITY
With four weeks to go before the launching of the 2013 thoroughbred season there is a feeling of urgency in the air at Hastings Racecourse as morning workouts continue prior to the April 13-14 opening weekend.
“We have 550 horses on the grounds and we’re looking forward to an exciting start,” said Raj Mutti, Regional General Manager, BC Racing and Hastings Racecourse General Manager. “Our goal is to increase handle and field size for a third consecutive year.”
Mutti earlier announced both the 69-day racing calendar and 40-race stakes schedule that offers $2.5 million in purses. They are available at www.hastingsracecourse.com
ANOTHER ACCOLADE FOR MARIO GUTIERREZ
Hastings Racecourse long ago adopted jockey Mario Gutierrez as its own and the native of Veracruz, Mexico says that’s okay with him. By winning the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes on I’ll Have Another last year, Gutierrez gave Hastings a huge shot in the arm with his constant return visits last summer to his “home track” as he took mounts in key Vancouver stakes races. Mario began his career at Hastings at the age of 19.
The Bill Hartack Charitable Foundation has named Gutierrez winner of the 5th Annual Hartack Charitable Foundation Award. Mario will be presented the Hartack Memorial Ring by his Vancouver mentor Glen Todd at a dinner reception on April 17 at the Derby Restaurant near Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, California.
ROAD TO THE 2013 KENTUCKY DERBY CONTINUES
Trainer Bob Baffert will be looking for his fourth consecutive win with heavily-favoured Super Ninety Nine in the $600,000 Rebel Stakes at Oaklawn on Saturday, (2:48 p.m.). Rafael Bejarno rides Super Ninety Nine from post 11. The race is the last major prep at Oaklawn before the $1 million Arkansas Derby on April 13. The next major Kentucky Derby prep goes Sunday, March 24 at Sunland Park in New Mexico, a race that traditionally attracts some of the top 3-year-olds from California.
On Saturday, March 30 fans can watch and wager on the last thee races from Dubai on World Cup Day. The entire card will be available on HPI while the Dubai Duty Free (9:40 a.m.), Sheema Classic (10:20) and the $10 million World Cu (11:05) will be simulcast at Hastings Racecourse, Fraser Downs Racetrack and all TBC outlets.
$20,000 FINAL AT FRASER DOWNS
The $20,000 Muriel Fornwald Memorial Final is the Friday night feature at Fraser Downs. Muriel was a long-time breeder and owner in B.C. The feature goes as the third race on Friday’s card with the top two morning line choices being Degas Protégé (8-5, Rick White) and The Sin Bin (9-5, J.F. Gagne). The field consists of six pacers but just five wagering interests.
Start times at The Downs are 7:00 p.m. Friday and 12:45 p.m Sunday.
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MIIC User Guidance and Training Resources
How-to guides for the Minnesota Immunization Information Connection (MIIC). Select the MIIC features below to view step-by-step instructions.
Guidance on MIIC features
- How to Use Printable Reports in MIIC (PDF)
Information on the variety of printable reports available in MIIC.
- Using Lists
Create a specific cohort of clients in MIIC that you can use to run reports.
- Assessment Reports
Create reports to monitor immunization rates for your client population.
- Client Follow-Up
Identify clients due or overdue for immunizations and conduct outreach to improve immunization rates. You can also use this tool to clean up your population of clients in MIIC through mass inactivation.
- Running the Improbable Shots Report
Monitor your vaccinations that fall outside of routine recommendations.
- Managing Vaccine Inventory
- Vaccine Ordering and Management in MIIC
Resources for health care providers about state-supplied vaccine ordering and management in MIIC.
Requesting special event vaccine
- User Guide: Vaccine Usage (PDF)
Step-by-step instructions for generating a vaccine usage report.
- User Guide: Vaccines Given (PDF)
Step-by-step instructions for generating a vaccines given report.
- User Guide: Vaccine Summary Report (PDF)
Step-by-step instructions for generating a vaccine summary report.
MIIC webinar series
Webinar was recorded on April 19, 2023. Learn about participating and logging into MIIC, changing your password and managing clients.
To access the CEU for this webinar, complete the MIIC Webinar 1: Introduction to MIIC Evaluation.
Webinar was recorded on April 26, 2023. Learn more about searching for a client, reviewing their immunization history and the MIIC forecaster.
To access the CEU for this webinar, complete the MIIC Webinar 2: Understanding Client Immunization Records Evaluation.
Webinar was recorded on May 10, 2023. Learn about electronic data exchange, editing immunizations, Bulk Query, and special reports.
To access the CEU for this webinar, complete the MIIC Webinar 3: Getting Data In and Out of MIIC Evaluation.
Webinar was recorded on May 17, 2023. Learn more about assessment report for understanding immunization coverage and client follow up (CFU) for obtaining information about clients’ overdue/recommended immunizations.
To access the CEU for this webinar, complete the MIIC Webinar 4: MIIC Tools to Increase Immunization Coverage Evaluation.
- Submit Client Query User Guide (PDF)
Schools, health plans, and other organizations can use this guide to submit a list of individuals to MIIC and receive immunization data for those individuals to load back into their electronic system.
Resources for hospitals and nursing homes participating in the FluSafe program.
- MIIC and Child Care Resources
Resources to assist child care centers with using MIIC.
Information about the Minnesota Immunization Quality Improvement for Providers (IQIP) program.
- MIIC Regions and Regional Coordinators
Regional coordinators provide local outreach, training, and user support for primary care and local public health users. Find your coordinator here.
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2023-09-29T23:30:08Z
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Unbiased Analysis of Today's Healthcare Issues
I am Tamiru Demeke Eshetu, Ethiopian, PhD fellow in Martin Luther University, Germany, have BA and MSc in Economics from Addis Ababa University, Ethiopia and MA in Project Management from Addis Ababa University, Ethiopia. I am doing my PhD in Health Economics and my research focuses on the Economic Burden of Breast Cancer Treatment in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. I want to learn from this blog author and other participants.
My name is Sagir Musa Hassan Nigerian. PhD fellow in Maryam Abacha American university of Niger Republic have BSc Hunan Physiology (ABU Zaria).MSC in Public health and MBA (ABU). Am doing my PhD in Health Economics and my research focuses on the Economic burden of Viral Hepatitis treatment in Africa. I want to learn from this blog author and other participants. Thank you
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
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https://www.healthcare-economist.com/obamacare-overview/
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2023-09-30T00:51:21Z
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70% of Americans feel helpless to act during a cardiac emergency and as 88% of these types of emergencies occur, we all need to be prepared to save a life with CPR skills. Providing CPR in the first few minutes can triple a victim's chance of survival.
Public support of CPR education classes is rapidly growing, as evidenced by West Virginia passing legislation recently that requires high school students to be trained in Hands-Only CPR.
But how can we be sure of the quality of CPR Training
To understand how our attitude and education to life saving skills has changed over the years, we first of all need to understand how CPR came about:
A Brief History of CPR Training
The discovery and introduction of CPR and subsequent developments in the training of CPR techniques has had a relatively long history with a series of important landmarks in the latter part of the 20th century.
1740 – The Paris Academy of Science officially recommended mouth-to-mouth for drowning victims.
1891 – First documented heart compressions in humans by Dr Friedrich Maass in Berlin, Germany. "I now had to regard the patient as dead. In spite of this, I returned immediately to the direct compression of the region of the heart.“ Friedrich Maass, 1892
1904 – First American case of closed-chest cardiac massage by Dr George Crile
1960 – CPR was developed. The American Heart Association (AHA) started a program to train physicians with the techniques of closed-chest cardiac resuscitation.
1963 – Formal endorsement of CPR by AHA.
1966 – AHA begin work to standardize CPR training and develop performance measurements.
1972 – First mass training program by AHA took place in Seattle. Over 100,000 citizens were trained in the first 2 years!
1988 – AHA introduces first pediatric training courses.
2005 – AHA’s Family & Friends CPR Anytime Kit begins circulation. This enabled anyone of any age to learn core skills on CPR, AED and choking relief, in just 20 minutes.
2010 – AHA and the European Resuscitation Council (ERC) both published guidelines for CPR.
This also, coincidently, marked the 50th anniversary of CPR!
2015 – ERC are due to issue new guidelines in October 2015.
Making a difference! Quality Control…
The past decade particularly has highlighted the importance of “getting it right” as even fully trained healthcare providers require training to refresh their CPR skills.
Conducting high quality CPR care means making sure that the compressions are performed at the correct rate and depth with minimal pre-shock pauses and interruptions. Evaluation should always be in line with the standard guidelines from AHA and ERC.
Many people don't realise that you should give priority to chest compressions over mouth-to-mouth respiration. The act of giving chest compressions, so long as the mouth is open, is often enough to create a certain amount of gas (air) exchange in the lungs. This is one reason why West Virginia school students are being taught hands-only CPR.
It's vital that you keep checking for a pulse at the carotid artery – you can feel a pulse and often see visual pulsations – unlike the movies, your patient won't suddenly be revived. Keep going! Don't interrupt your efforts to attend to minor injuries either, it's imperative to ensure that chest compressions are consistent.
Call for help! If you're in an emergency situation you need to know that giving CPR is hard work and you will need support. Wherever possible get people to help you and make sure you call the emergency services as quickly as possible.
By learning how to perform CPR with high quality medical simulators, many common mistakes can be avoided. Errors such as: Learning the correct speed for compressions, keeping elbows straight, knowing the correct amount of force to use – all of these issues can be addressed before you ever need to use your skills in a real emergency.
Real Time Feedback and Hands on Experience
When it comes to CPR Training, direct, real-time feedback has been proven as essential to improve the skill, acquisition and retention of the potential lifesaver.
To provide this level of training, high quality simulators, real life heart models and cardiac charts are required to evaluate, track, measure and improve training for every student on an individual basis.
Saving Lives With Advanced Education
Combining regular training with the use of available tools means more lives can be saved as a result.
Learn, Enjoy and Save Life. Healthforce Training Center offer services such as Basic Life Support (BLS), Advance Cadiovascular Life Support (ACLS), Pediatric Advance Life Support (PALS), CPR AED, Pediatric First Aid CPR AED and First Aid CPR AED. Read more of our blogs.
Source: 3B Scientific
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https://www.healthforcetrainingcenter.com/post/quality-cpr-practice-needs-quality-cpr-training
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2023-09-30T00:34:30Z
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BLS stands for Basic Life Support. BLS certification may refer to two things:
Training that includes Healthcare Provider level skills such as 2-person CPR, pulse checks, bag valve mask use, and rescue breathing without compressions for people that have a pulse.
Countries outside of the United States will often use the term BLS when referring to CPR training. We have also found that many healthcare companies within the U.S. will recommend that their employees get BLS training.
BLS can be performed outside of hospitals by emergency medical technicians (EMTs), paramedics, and other qualified bystanders. Paramedics, nurses, doctors, physicians, EMTs, first responders, public safety professionals, and other healthcare related occupations tend to take BLS classes because of the additional skills that they need to use on a regular basis.
Both CPR and BLS classes will teach CPR (for adults, children and babies) for one rescuer, choking and first aid in the same way.
Learn, Enjoy and Save Life. HealthForce Training Center offer services such as Basic Life Support (BLS), Advance Cardiovascular Life Support (ACLS), Pediatric Advance Life Support (PALS), CPR AED, Pediatric First Aid CPR AED and First Aid CPR AED. Read more of our blogs.
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2023-09-29T22:50:29Z
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Total Enhance RX Review
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Men start experiencing the effects of low-testosterone in their thirties. However, testosterone decline can begin as early as the late twenties! This can lead to the low sex drive and even erectile dysfunction. So, what is the answer? Increase your testosterone! Now, this is made easier and safer with the Total Enhance Male Enhancement benefits. Total Enhance RX Male Enhancement can help promote a much healthier and far more satisfying sex life. Age doesn’t have to end your sex life, because now you can boost your hormone levels without a prescription. To try TotalEnhance RX free, click below to activate the trial.
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Visiting a doctor to discuss erectile dysfunction or other sexual issues can be embarrassing. Not only is it uncomfortable, but it is also expensive. But, you do not require a Doctor’s visit or prescription with the benefits of Total Enhance. This formula contains pure, natural ingredients that are both clinically proven and doctor recommended. Just take a look at some of the Total Enhance Male Enhancement benefits.
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A decline in sex drive can kill a relationship quickly. If you want to ensure that your love life stays strong, then spice things up with clinically proven Total Enhance RX Male Enhancement! This formula is a powerful pro-sexual nutrient matrix that is recommended by Doctors. You need no prescription to get medical strength Total Enhance RX pills. Once it enters your blood stream, TotalEnhance RX Male Enhancement provides nitric oxide fueled blood flow to the penis. This expands erectile tissue capacity for longer and stronger results. Just 3 steps to achieve results:
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Discover the power of a natural supplement that needs no prescription to be medical grade. Make a one-time purchase or activate a Total Enhance RX free trial today. Reclaim your manhood and feel young again. Stoke the fire of passion and restore your sex life with some added spice. If you claim your bottle today, you can receive an exclusive Total Enhance Male Enhancement free trial bottle. See why doctors are recommending this product more over prescription medications by claiming your own free bottle now. But, make sure you act now before this complimentary bottle offer ends.
Total Enhance RX Testosterone Review
Have You Checked Out Total Enhance RX?
How many years have you made the same New Year’s resolutions? It can sometimes seem like, year after year, you keep coming back to the same things that you never did the year before. And, we can guess one of the things that were on your list: weight loss or getting fit. Truly, millions of people make this resolution every year. Because, so many people are overweight, according to current statistics. And, many of those people dream of having a better body, with defined muscles and more energy and power. So, that’s one of the reasons for the major popularity of new supplements like Total Enhance RX Testosterone, which we’re going to be reviewing today.
You can order Total Enhance, or Total Enhance RX testo booster as we’ve seen it called, right now if you want. You can actually just click the button on this page to get your trial offer. And, don’t feel bad if you want to skip the long review we’ve got below! Truly, there are limited trials, so if you want to order yours now, you should do it sooner than later. Otherwise, you can continue to read what we have to say about it. Basically, we’ll talk a little about what you may be able to expect from Total EnhanceRX. Then, we’ll bring up some ways in which you could try to increase your fitness, whether you use this product or not. Again, here’s that order button right below.
What’s The Word About Total Enhance RX Testo Pills?
Your body confidence is ultra-important. Let’s say that you have a big event coming up: a vacation, or maybe even a wedding (congratulations). It’s incredible how many people end up dreading what should be happy events, simply because they don’t feel confident about how they look. And, some people even end up skipping out on what could be an awesome time. You don’t want to be one of those people who ends up sitting on the beach in full clothes because you don’t feel confident enough to get up and go swimming. So, that might show exactly why so many people are interested in new products like Total Enhance RX Pills. They’re definitely hoping that this supplement could be the key to finally getting the muscles and trim physique that you want. But, is it the answer?
We would love to see a little bit of evidence that Total EnhanceRX Muscle will work to help you. Unfortunately, there aren’t any existing studies that show that this supplement is proven to help increase your workout efficiency or testosterone & muscle growth. Of course, we would look up information for individual ingredients, but actually we couldn’t find a list of Total Enhance RX Ingredients, either. Pre-workout supplements often contain L-Arginine, which is an amino acid that helps the body build protein. And, L-Arginine is pretty much considered safe, but you should still talk to your doctor before taking oral supplements.
Total Enhance RX And Your Fitness
You can definitely order Total Enhance RX pills today, but there are other things you can and should do to take care of your fitness.
- Exercise frequently and consistently to maintain a schedule.
- Eat healthy foods that include leafy greens and fruits.
- Give yourself enough time to sleep every night.
- Use friends to help motivate you to work out and eat right.
- Chat with your doctor about the best course of action to optimize your health.
Total Enhance RX Trial Offer
If you’re done listening to what we have to say, you can jump to your own conclusions about this product. And, if you decide that you do want to order Total Enhance RX, you can do that now by clicking on the trial button. Just be sure to check out the Terms and Conditions – you want to make sure you know exactly what the trial consists of. And, if you qualify for the trial, you can order yours to find out if this supplement is something you end up liking or not. Just don’t hesitate too long – these trials are limited!
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Healthy Food America acts on science to drive change in policy and industry practice so that all people can live in places where nutritious food is easy to obtain and exposure to unhealthy products is limited. Chronic diseases caused by poor nutrition from unhealthy foods and beverages are the major causes of death and poor health in the U.S., including obesity, diabetes, heart and liver disease, and tooth decay. Communities of color and low-income families are hardest hit by these preventable conditions. Poor nutrition is the largest contributor to all these diseases, driven by the pervasive presence and relentless marketing of junk food and beverages, especially to kids and the most vulnerable. We are coordinating with other advocates to energize a national movement to roll back added sugars in food and beverages to healthful levels.
What We Do
Though obesity and diabetes epidemics have raged for years, current public policy and industry responses have had limited impact. The evidence that added sugars play a key role in fueling the epidemics continues to grow stronger and calls out for bold new approaches to reverse the trend of adding sugars to the products on our shelves. HFA works to identify the most promising such strategies and supports policymakers and advocates at the federal, state, and local levels to get them adopted. Our priorities for action are:
Changing policy and practice. HFA is focused on developing and implementing two key initiatives in areas we believe have the right combination of impact and public support:
- Taxes on sugary drinks. Taxing sodas and other sugary drinks – just like tobacco – can raise revenue to improve lives, reduce the appeal of harmful beverages and raise awareness of the health risks they impose, while sending a message to industry to stop pushing products that harm health. HFA offers technical support to efforts across the country to adopt taxes on sugary drinks.
- Healthy food access. It's hard for many people in the US to afford healthy food or find it easily in their neighborhoods. Incentivization programs, which stretch people's food buying dollars in a bigger way for healthy food and drink purchases, make it easier for more people to offer healthy options to their families and can drive up demand for these items at stores.
Raising awareness and driving change. HFA is committed to educating the public and policymakers about sugar and health and to alerting consumers about added sugars in the products marketed to them. We deliver these messages through the news media and paid advertising, foster conversation about sugar and health on social media, and encourage discussion among policy makers. As a result of our efforts and those of our partners, Americans will come to demand food that is healthy and free of excessive sugar, prompting manufacturers to respond with better food and less promotion of unhealthy products, and spurring policymakers to take action to reduce excessive consumption.
Translating research and evaluating progress. Emerging nutrition and health research can be difficult to interpret, allowing opponents of change to sow confusion. HFA tracks and translates research for the public and policymakers, and on occasion performs research to fill gaps in understanding and highlight key issues. We provide support to rigorous evaluation of policy actions to identify those worthy of taking to scale.
Convening key players. The growing numbers of people and organizations joining the movement to roll back sugar need a place to connect and a way to coordinate their activities. HFA convenes advocates, policymakers and experts to plan and collaborate.
Supporting state and local policy efforts. HFA provides technical assistance to advocates and decision makers in states and localities that are developing policies to curb excessive sugar.
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Vietnam is an amazing place to visit, whether you start in
the South and work your way up the coast or start in Hanoi and work your down.
But before you can start your amazing adventure you have to get through
immigration and customs, which in Vietnam is not an easy process.
Before heading off on our own Vietnam adventure we talked to
friend and family who had been before and we scoured the internet to find out
information on the best way to organise our visas before we left.
We were told a bunch of different methods and ways to get it
done, even being told to use a local to grease the wheels if you know what we
After hearing all this, we decided to use Vietnam eVisa (www.vietnam-evisa.org/),
one it was recommended by the embassy and two it seem on the up-and-up.
This was great, the forms were simple and easy to follow and
was straight forward to submit. With all the paperwork completed, we were told
that all we need to do is pay $25 USD each when we get there and we’ll be good
to go. What they didn’t tell us, is that you need to stand in a long line that
moves even slower for them to process your paperwork (they will take your
passport) and then wait again for your name to be called to then pay.
Now to give you a heads up this is not a process of, stand
in this lines that is set out with bollards and quite organised. Rather it is a
free-flowing line that just kinds of forms itself that doesn’t really have any
order to it. Once your paperwork is in, you then have to wait for it to be
processed and to pay your $25 USD (each), but again you don’t get a number or
anything like it. You simply are told to wait over there with a bunch of people
who also don’t know what is going on. People are crowded around the one window
that is calling out names because they don’t really announce your name loudly,
you just have to pay attention. The whole process is extremely unorganised and
can get frustrating.
Once your visa is processed, it’s not over. Depending on the
time of day you may have to stand in an even longer and slower moving
immigration line to be let into the country.
With the horror story out of the way, here are our tips to
get it done:
will need two passport sized photos of your beautiful self.
you don’t want to stand in long lines when you get there to get your visa
processed, we recommend having it done before you get there. What that means
is, you have the visa in your passport before you leave – not just the
There are a lot fake and not recognised
sites on the web so always double check on your local Vietnam Embassy’s website
for their recommended sites.
You can do through this through a few different ways.
your travel agent to organise and complete this for you.
your local Vietnam Embassy and follow their instructions.
These are the best ways to make sure your visa is right before you leave.
you have your visa, call the embassy to confirm it has been processed and
completed before you leave.
finally, make sure you have USD with you to pay for your visa as this must be
done in cash if you are processing your visa when you arrive.
We saw more than a few people scrambling because they didn’t have cash and no
one would help them.
find yourself in this situation: ask one of the officials to let you go to the
currency exchange which is just on the on the other side of immigration before
These are just are suggestions from our own experience, and
are not the definitive way to get it done. We just want you to have a smooth
trip through immigration and not have to wait around for hours when you get there.
So, if you have your own method, we can only say check that is valid once you
receive your visa to avoid any issues when you get there.
Good luck and happy travels!
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Top Live Sex Cams Sites
Omegle Sex Cams In Homes – Today, we ‘re going to speak about adult web cams which adult web webcam websites are safe.
I put my own face on the videos, so I ‘m I wait what I state in my videos and this site is an evaluation website that covers all the leading adult web.
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These are video chat websites where two people connect: cam decamp, so first we ‘re going to speak about the number-one-ranked camera website, which is called stream eight.
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If there ‘s an exit button, it ‘s extremely transparent, I believe it has a multi-million dollar market daily.
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One question I get asked frequently: what makes Waldorf music education unique? The short answer: a number of things! The long answer? I'll be walking you through it in a series of posts. These posts are written primarily for music educators and others with classical training, but I'm hopeful that other readers will get something out of it, too. In this post, I'll share what is the same or very similar to other music education styles, particularly the work of Zoltan Kodaly and Carl Orff as well as the key difference. In following posts, I will address various musical elements including rhythm, melody, and harmony.
What is the same/similar?
1. Waldorf music educators begin with singing. If you have gotten the impression that Waldorf music education is all about the flute (whistle), or recorder, I understand - that seems to be the hot topic whenever folks begin discussing music education from a Waldorf viewpoint. You will find flutes for sale, books of flute music, as well as numerous programs that are for teaching flute. Sadly, singing is completely overlooked or rushed through entirely! But singing is the foundation of any great music education - including a Waldorf music education! Steiner himself said that singing was the beginning for all that follows, and though flute playing often steals the spotlight, the star of the show is really the beauty of the human voice. Singing first, followed by playing an instrument or reading music notation is very like the work of Carl Orff and Zoltan Kodaly.
2. Another similarity is that the introduction of concepts and skills, including the introduction of harmony, follows a sequence. In my research in preparing to create Music Unfolds for Waldorf Essentials with Melisa Nielsen, I was delighted to discover that the signposts Steiner left us indicating what concepts and skills to teach and in which order dovetail nicely with the ideas of Zoltan Kodaly. The Kodaly teaching weave is an integral part of Music Unfolds, in fact. We proceed from singing to learning basic building blocks for rhythm and harmony, slowly creating a rich musical language based on the child's experience. As with any great music education, we start simply and build greater complexity as the child's ability and understanding grow.
3. Singing and sequencing work hand-in-hand to provide the student with ear-training. Any excellent music education focuses not only on performing and reading, but on developing "seeing ears and hearing eyes" - that is, the ability to hear music printed on a page and the ability to see notation upon hearing a musical passage. A true musician does not merely recreate mechanically - a musician feels. This skill requires a much deeper connection with music, more than an academic understanding that allows one to play or sing what is printed on a page. It demands developing the powers of imitation, observation, intuition, creation and more.
Where Waldorf diverges from other methods is primarily in the timing. Students following the Music Unfolds curriculum will eventually learn all of the concepts and skills in the Our Music Garden curriculum (Sprouts for preschool and Seedlings for kindergarten), they will just do them later. Music Unfolds is a Waldorf-true curriculum and Our Music Garden, though Waldorf-inspired, follows a traditional framework for when children are introduced to concepts and skills. If you are at all familiar with Waldorf education, this will come as no surprise! For those who are new to Waldorf education, as you learn more, you will discover that whereas Waldorf does indeed get to all the concepts and skills of a traditional education - and often more deeply and thoroughly - it does it in its own time. For example, we wait for academics until around 7 years of age - whereas children of 5 are expected to be reading in a traditional setting! Likewise, whereas in a traditional teaching situation, I introduce the concepts of fast and slow, short and long, high and low, loud and soft, smooth and choppy, same/different/similar in preschool and kindergarten, we wait to draw the child's attention to these spectra until around age 8. Of course, they are experiencing these things, but we do not give them a name or ask them to notice them until later.
In Part II, I'll walk you through how individual elements are treated - rhythm, melody, and harmony. I hope you'll join me Thursday, June 13 at 3 p.m. CST on the Hearth & Gnome Facebook page for my live event. I'll be talking more about this topic and providing additional info there. Questions you'd like me to address? Please send me a message - I'd love to hear from you!
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https://www.hearthandgnome.com/post/what-makes-waldorf-music-education-unique-part-1
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2023-09-29T23:58:25Z
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The Refurbished Physio-Control Lifepak 1000 AED is Available For Sale/Rental
The LifePak 1000 Package Includes:
- LifePak 1000 AED
- Soft Shell Carrying Case with Shoulder Strap
- (2) Sets EDGE System Electrodes
- Non-Rechargeable LiMnO2 Battery Replacement Kit
- Rescue Ready Kit (Scissors, Razor, Gauze, Alcohol Wipe, CPR Mask, Bandages)
- AED Check Tags
Flexibility: With a pair of display options, the 1000 is readily configured to your patient care protocols. Changes can also me instituted as recommended by the American Heart Association and/or European Resuscitation Council.
Power: Escalating energy up to 360J provides the options you need for maximum defibrillation success. For patients who need more than one shock, increasing the dose of subsequent shocks has been shown to be a better strategy for terminating shockable heart rhythms.1,2,3
Durability: The most rugged defibrillator ever built by Physio-Control. This medical equipment can be carried with confidence into the harshest environments.
Easy to use: The uncomplicated, intuitive user interface and clear, comprehensive prompts allow trained users to confidently respond to demanding circumstances in a timely manner.
Simple to use at a cardiac arrest scene, the LIFEPAK 1000 defibrillator features:
- Loud voice prompts and lighted buttons to guide you.
- Large LCD screen displaying graphics and text for quick reference can be seen from any angle and in bright sunlight.
- Pre-connected electrodes that help speed your response when every second counts.
- Pediatric therapy which can be readily provided using the Infant/Child Reduced Energy Defibrillation Electrodes.
Designed for and tested by emergency professionals, BLS users like the LifePak 1000 for its:
- Built-in flexibility to program the unit to your CPR and resuscitation protocols.
- High capacity battery to provide the power for up to 440 shocks or approximately 17 hours of monitoring time.
- Digitally recorded ECG rhythm and delivered shocks, which can be wirelessly transferred via IrDA port to a PC for post-event quality review.
The LifePak 1000 makes it easy for BLS and ALS teams to work in sync:
- From the streets to the emergency room, the 1000 is compatible with the full suite of lifesaving tools from Physio-Control, including our line of manual defibrillator/monitors.
- With the touch of a button, the 1000 operates in manual override,so you can decide when to analyze and shock.
- Lead II ECG patient monitoring** on large display via 3-wire cable provides flexibility for
- ECG-trained users and enables ALS teams to quickly assess patient rhythm.
**Physician’s Prescription Required by FDA
*** PICTURE MAY NOT DEPICT THE EXACT UNIT & OPTIONS
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https://www.heartlandmedical.com/product/physio-control-lifepak-1000-aed/
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2023-09-30T00:08:19Z
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When it comes to incident response, preparation is key.
Working with your team to walk through the “what ifs” of an incident in a safe, open environment is much easier than trying to handle an incident without having thought through the process first.
Whether you’d like to do a tabletop exercise part of our Cyber CPR program or on its own, we can help bring your team together and think how you’ll be able to handle an incident and work through gaps.
We will tailor our scenarios to your environment by learning your people, processes, and technology. From there, we’ll run through several scenarios with all parties (executives to junior team members) to ensure everyone involved can be aware of what to do. We’ll wrap up the engagement with a report showing strengths and weaknesses.
Helm Information Security LLC
1223 W Main St #279
Sun Prairie, WI 53590
info at helminfosec dot com
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https://www.helminfosec.com/tabletops
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2023-09-29T23:12:02Z
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Netbooks are the hot new thing in PCs – small, inexpensive laptops designed for web browsing, email, and working with web-based programs. But chances are you don’t know how to choose a netbook, let alone use one. Not to worry: Netbooks: The Missing Manual walks you through choosing and buying a netbook, setting one up, and all the common tasks you’ll likely want to perform on your cool new toy.
There’s info about everything from collaborating with others online and sharing photos to playing music and games. You’ll also learn about connecting speakers, printers, keyboards and other hardware to your netbook. And as this book explains, you can save big bucks by using free software and Internet-based programs with your netbook.
This all-in-one guide, by bestselling Missing Manual author and New York Times columnist J.D. Biersdorfer, covers all the basics of the popular new netbook PCs. It provides easy-to-follow instructions and lots of advice to help you:
- Learn the basics for using a Windows- or Linux-based netbook
- Connect speakers, printers, keyboards, external hard drives, and other hardware
- Get online using a wireless network, a public network, broadband cards, or dial-up
- Write email, browse the Web, transfer bookmarks, and add tools to your web browser
- Use business tools like Google Docs and Office for Netbooks
- Collaborate with others online via instant messaging
- Edit and share photos, play games, listen to music, and watch TV and movies online.
You’ll also learn about web-based backup and storage, staying secure online – especially when using wireless networks – as well as tips for troubleshooting. Netbooks point to the future of computing, and Netbooks: The Missing Manual will show you how to get there.
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https://www.helpnetsecurity.com/2009/09/25/new-book-netbooks-the-missing-manual/
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Perungudi, on OMR, about 7588 sq.ft. fully furnished IT space with 43 seater, Cabins, Director Cabin, Board Room, Lounge, Air Conditioning, Power Backup, Lifts. 4 car parks.
On OMR, close to toll, fully furnished IT space of 7500 sq.ft. with 48 workstations, cabins, conference room, printer room, UPS room, Server room, Air Conditioning, Power Backup, Lifts and 4 car parks.
Perungudi, Off OMR, about 35000 sq.ft. office premises with Air Conditioning, Power Backup, Lifts and ample parking. Ready for fit outs.
Perungudi, furnished office space of about 7588 Sq.ft. with 50 workstations, Manager Cabin, Conference Room, Training Rooms, Meeting Rooms, Admin Room, Cafeteria, Air conditioning, 100% Power backup and Lift. 4 car parks and 20 two wheelers will be provided.
Perungudi, abt. 4400 sq.ft, 4 bedroom west facing duplex apartment on the 14th & 15th floor with servant’s quarters & semi furnished premises is available for immediate rent. CCTV, Video door phone, Gym, Swimming pool, 3 car parks & Power backup are provided.
Perungudi, about 3500 / 5500 / 7200 sq.ft. Fully furnished office units with 1 car park for every 1000 sq.ft. Immediate occupation.
Perungudi, about 20,000 sq.ft. of office space on sale with power backup for common areas and 16 car parks.
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https://www.hemdevs.com/county/perungudi/
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2023-09-29T22:28:41Z
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Fast and fantastic quotations, informed advisers to help you choose the correct products that suits all your needs, a short manufacturing time, responsible good quality control and distinct companies for paying and shipping affairs for Dyneema Composite Fabric, Lightweight Ripstop Fabric, Slash Resistant, Uhmwpe Composite Fabric,Indestructible Fabric. We warmly welcome merchants from your home and overseas to contact us and set up business enterprise partnership with us, and we'll do our greatest to serve you. The product will supply to all over the world, such as Europe, America, Australia,Juventus, Bogota,Guatemala, Colombia.With the goal of "zero defect". To care for the environment, and social returns, care employee social responsibility as own duty. We welcome friends from all over the world to visit and guide us so that we can achieve the win-win goal together.
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https://www.hengruiprotect.com/dyneema-composite-fabric/
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2023-09-29T23:38:08Z
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Wash the vegetables and dice half of the onions, carrot, leek and celeriac.
Ingredients: onions, carrots. leek, celeriac
Gently brown the pimento seeds, juniper berries, cloves, black peppercorns and bay leaves in a pan. Add the red wine, the "Altmeister" vinegar, the sugar as well as the cut-up onions and carrot and bring to the boil.
Ingredients: pimento seed, juniper berries, black peppercorns, bay, red wine, Altmeister Vinegar, sugar, onion
The roast meat and the gravy
Take the joint of beef out of the marinade, pat it dry and brown it on all sides in a frying pan. This will create roasting aromas that are very important for the flavour later on. Important: Do not throw the marinade away – you will need it later to make a nice dark gravy! Now cut up the other half of the vegetables. Sauté the onions and carrot and add the tomato purée. Sieve the marinade and add the gravy to the vegetables. Once the gravy has come to the boil, add it to the meat again and put the joint into the oven – cover it and let it cook for approx. 3 hours at 150°C in the oven (heat from above/below).
Ingredients: beef, vegetables
The potato dumplings
Leave the peel on the potatoes and cook them in salted water for around 25 minutes, then let them dry off. Peel the potatoes and put them in a bowl or a pan with a flat bottom (to make it easy to mash them). Add the egg yolks, softened butter, a little flour, salt and nutmeg – now mash the potato mixture. Bring a second pan of salted water to the boil and, whilst you are waiting for it to heat up, form the mashed potato mixture into balls. Put the dumplings into the simmering water to cook until they rise to the top. Use a slotted ladle to remove them.
Ingredients: potatoes, egg yolk, salt, pepper,
The red cabbage
Put the red cabbage into a pan and warm it up for around 5-10 minutes.
Ingredients: red cabbage
The finishing touch
Take the roasted meat out of the gravy and cut it into thin slices. Strain the gravy and press the soft vegetables through the sieve with a spoon (this gives the gravy a better consistency). Add the thyme and rosemary to the strained gravy and bring it up to the boil (then remove them again). Finally you will need to take some cold flakes of butter and use a whisk to beat them into the gravy. The fat and the difference between the warm gravy and the cold butter make the gravy creamy and give it a smooth consistency.
Serve the sliced roast meat with the glistening gravy, steaming hot potato dumplings and warm red cabbage.
Ingredients: meat, vegetables, thyme, rosemary, butter
- Download & Print
For the pot roast:
1 kg beef rump
400 ml Hengstenberg "Altmeister" vinegar
5 bay leaves
5 tbsp rapeseed oil (for frying)
10 pimento seeds
10 juniper berries
15 black peppercorns
1 l dry red wine
3 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp salt
A couple of sprigs of thyme
A couple of sprigs of rosemary
2 tbsp tomato purée
For the dumplings:
1 kg potatoes (floury consistency)
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https://www.hengstenberg.com/en/recipes/recipe/classic_marinated_pot_roast_with_potato_dumplings_and_
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2023-09-29T23:15:28Z
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5 Reasons To Adventure Solo
Journeying into the backcountry with friends is much safer and can be a great time. However, people just piss you off sometimes, and they’re the reason to escape into the wild, I get it. Solo hiking can be a peaceful experience, it allows for a time to reflect and center yourself. Here are five reasons to go it alone on your next adventure.
Peace and Quiet:
One of the major advantages of going into nature is for the tranquility that it provides. There’s really no better way to get the full benefit than to experience it alone. All there is to listen to is the wind through the trees, the occasional rustling of small creatures and birds, and your own thoughts. Get out of the hustle and bustle of life and escape into wilderness.
Move at Your Own Pace:
When trekking with a group or even one other person we can find ourselves trying to accommodate others. We may be constantly trying to keep up or constantly slowing down so as not to lose the integrity of the pack. Either way, whether slowing down or pushing forward, this causes a loss in our own enjoyment and the reward of the adventure. Going solo allows us to choose the pace we prefer to enjoy the surroundings. Either at a slow easy pace or a sprint to the finish!
Be on Your Own Schedule:
Too often do we find ourselves relying on others to determine if we will go or not. If you’re going alone the only person holding you back or preventing you form hitting the trail is yourself. Constantly depending on your buddy to get their act together only keeps you from scrambling up steep trails, crossing waterways, exploring thick forests, and summiting mountains, which is what you really want, right? Going solo also affords you the ability to plan the trip how you like, you can hit the trail when you want and leave the trail when you want.
The best way to build confidence is to be confident and show yourself that you can do something. If hiking alone isn’t something you do regularly, but it’s intriguing and seems to be the best way to go, give it a shot and see what you think. Going solo is a freeing experience and pushes the edges of your comfort zone outward. You’re sure to get a ton more exposure to the backcountry. Nothing’s cooler than looking back and saying: “I did that, and I did it on my own.”
Every now and again we all need a reset, whether that’s from the mundane, work, relationships or just looking for more out of life. Going into nature will only provide a renewed perspective. As John Muir said: “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of autumn.”
#Canyon #Therapy #GettingStarted #Spring #Summer #Trekking #Planning #Recreation #Wilderness #Backcountry #Adventures #Camping #Exploring #GetOutside #Trail #MountainTrekking #Nature #Climb #Wellness #Hiking #Backpacking #AllSeasons
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https://www.highlandfrog.org/single-post/2017/09/14/5-reasons-to-adventure-solo
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2023-09-30T00:29:05Z
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Hikeseekers Hike to Sombasson Waterfalls
by hiker Merlana Henry
On Sunday 5th June I left home at 7 am and travelled along the Churchill Roosevelt highway to the Arima hospital, the meeting point for the hike. Once at the hospital, I excitedly jumped out of the car and walked towards the smiling faces that greeted me, some familiar, most new.
For me the adventure started as I manoeuvred my vehicle along the narrow and winding road of Guanapo. Several dark-bellied clouds scudded across and veiled the sky in grey. “It looks like we’re going to get some heavy showers today” I said to my fellow hike seeker. “So it seems but we can’t let a little rain stop us” he replied. After a 40 minute drive along the forest-lined dirt road our group of 20 (15 trinis and the Reed family of Colorado) arrived at a quarry, the starting point of our adventure. We were ready to conquer the Guanapo rainforest!
At the mouth of the rainforest we were welcomed by felled trees and huge tyre tracks. The forest’s pristine beauty fractured by man’s indiscriminate, greed motivated activities. A half hour later, after slogging through boot-sucking mud, we arrived at a small stream. Here we washed our feet before entering the wide expanse of virgin forest. We were led by Laurence “Snakeman” Pierre, hike master of Hike Seekers of Trinidad and Tobago club. “ Snakeman” is a boisterous man, well built with penetrating eyes. His warm personality punctuated by a raucous laugh quickly put the neophytes at ease. “Snakeman” is widely considered to be one of Trinidad’s best wilderness scouts. On this particular hike he was ably assisted by hike leaders Calvin Crawford and Leon Rougier.
With a slight drizzle as our blessing we proceeded in single file and disappeared into the dense electric greens and rain-soaked browns of the forest. The hike was gruelling with a series of steep inclines that required fitness and a large dose of endurance. At certain points, the trail seemed to be too much for 7 year old Sophia, myself and a few other hikers but encouraged by “Crawfie” and others we trekked along, dodging overhanging branches and thick vines, climbing rocks and crawling across the thick trunks of fallen trees. However, the demands on our bodies were a small price to pay for the breathtaking beauty that surrounded us in the forest.
The Guanapo forest hosts a rich assortment of inhabitants and we were fortunate enough to experience some of them. A variety of birds cried out their greetings from the canopy overhead, mountain crabs peeked out of their holes to bid us good day and a cloud of big blue butterflies danced ahead of us part of the way, as if welcoming us to their habitat. As we continued along the strenuous trail, the little streams of fresh, cool water were like oases in the desert. At last, after the three hour challenge the Sombasson waterfall loomed ahead of us, nestled in the hillside. Most of us were happy and relieved to see the waterfall and we rushed towards it to allow it’s powerful gush of water to massage our bodies and provide temporary pain relief. We spent an hour at the waterfall before starting off on our journey back.
The 2 hour hike back though challenging, was a little easier since we opted to swim through the Guanapo gorges. After a short hike across land, we climbed onto a tree branch and made an 8 foot jump into the cold river down below. From then on it was mostly swimming. We swam, tiptoed across slippery rocks and swam. Well-equipped with rope and life jackets “Snakeman” and the other hike leaders guided us safely along the Guanapo river, through the gorges, back to our starting point at the quarry.
It was a day well spent in good company. Hiking with this fun loving group is always a good form of stress relief and a great way to discover the hidden wonders of our beautiful island. Friendly teasing from “Snakeman” and “Crawfie” helped the less brave among us to conquer their fears of the wilderness and helped to take our minds off of the challenging activity.
As we got into our individual vehicles to head back to “civilization”, we called out to each other promising to meet up again in two weeks on the next hike. According to the schedule the next hike is on June 26th to the Guanapo waterfall and gorges and promises to be another wonderful adventure.
Hope to see you there!
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https://www.hikeseekers.com/246-2/
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2023-09-29T23:23:12Z
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Exercise Intervention in Breast Cancer PatientsView this Special Issue
A Cardiac Rehabilitation Program for Breast Cancer Survivors: A Feasibility Study
Purpose. The purpose of this study was to determine the feasibility and preliminary efficacy of a cardiac rehabilitation (CR) intervention in the breast cancer population. Methods. This single-arm feasibility study evaluated a 14-week CR intervention program in breast cancer survivors. Feasibility was defined as completion of at least 30/36 sessions of the program without serious adverse events (SAE) in 80% of patients. Secondary endpoints included the change in VO2 max, cardiovascular disease (CVD) risk factors, Duke Activity Secondary Index (DASI), Brief Fatigue Inventory (BFI), and QLQ-C30. All outcomes were reported as mean change and compared using paired t-tests. Results. A total of 25 patients were enrolled in the study. 18 patients of the 25 enrolled (72%) completed the 14 weeks program without SAE. The overall adherence to the study protocol was 60%. Of the 18 participants who did not withdraw from the program, 15 (83%) adhered to the study protocol and completed 30 or more sessions. There was a nonsignificant improvement in VO2 max (mean Δ0.5, ). The scores for DASI, BFI, and QLQ-C30 improved from baseline to posttreatment. Conclusion. A CR intervention in breast cancer survivors had high adherence in those who were able to complete the 14-week program. The program significantly improved patient reported physical activity, fatigue, and quality of life (QoL), without significant improvement in CVD risk factors. Implications for cancer patients are that early implementation of a CR program should be considered by practitioners as it improves QoL and exercise tolerance in breast cancer survivors.
Cardiovascular disease (CVD) is the leading cause of death among women in the general population and among breast cancer survivors specifically [1, 2]. Increased utilization of mammographic screening and adjuvant therapy has improved the long-term survival of women with breast cancer. There are now more than 2.5 million female breast cancer survivors in the United States . As more women survive longer, their risk of death from other causes has increased such that the majority of breast cancer survivors ultimately die of CVD rather than from cancer [3, 4]. Important risk factors such as physical inactivity, advanced age, obesity, and smoking are common to the etiology of both CVD and breast cancer [1–3]. A recent evaluation of National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey data highlighted the possible role of shared risk factors in the development of cancer, reporting that over 90% of cancer survivors have multiple CVD risk factors . Achieving favorable changes in risk factors common to both CVD and cancer are associated with improved CVD and cancer survival, as well as lower cancer recurrence [5, 6]. Better strategies for managing and preventing CVD are needed for this population.
Evidence suggests that exercise also decreases long-term side effects from cancer treatments among breast cancer survivors and may provide additional physiological and psychological benefits [7, 8]. A program of regular exercise may also reduce levels of CVD risk factors and the resulting risk of future cardiovascular events [9, 10]. Existing studies only touched the surface of the feasibility of outpatient cardiac rehabilitation (CR) programs for the reduction of CVD risk among breast cancer survivors, especially those susceptible to the late effects of chest radiation and cardiotoxic cancer treatments such as trastuzumab, doxorubicin, and aromatase inhibitor therapy [3, 11].
A CR program is a unique model for providing an exercise intervention to breast cancer survivors. As per the statement from the American Heart Association for the need for effective and viable strategies to mitigate cardiovascular disease risk in cancer population, cardiac rehabilitation can play a role for potential solution. AHA statement provides an overview of the existing knowledge and rationale for the use of cardiac rehabilitation to provide structured exercise and ancillary services to cancer patients and survivors .
The CR program is defined as “the provision of comprehensive long-term services involving medical evaluation, prescriptive exercise, cardiac risk factor modification, and education, counseling, and behavioral interventions” . CR is characterized by its evidence-based protocol and attention to exercise principles, including frequency, intensity, and duration , which is lacking in existing exercise studies [7, 15, 16]. CR programs are tailored exercise programs, which are modifiable according to the baseline cardiorespiratory fitness level and comorbid disease status of the participants and are designed to induce changes in the CVD risk profile of participants [17, 18].
Although CVD and breast cancer share many important risk factors, this current study is the first to study the implementation and feasibility of CR among breast cancer survivors posttreatment to improve cardiorespiratory fitness, reduce CVD risk, and improve quality of life (QoL). Earlier existing studies report increased CVD risk among breast cancer survivors but have not yet assessed the feasibility of outpatient CR programs for the reduction of CVD risk among breast cancer survivors, especially those susceptible to the late effects of chest radiation and medical treatments. Treatments including drugs such as trastuzumab, doxorubicin, and most recently, aromatase inhibitor therapy are associated with this increased risk of cardiotoxicity [1, 11].
The purpose of this study was to assess the feasibility of a CR program in breast cancer survivors and to evaluate cardiorespiratory fitness, CVD risk factors, and patient reported outcome measures before and after the intervention.
This was a single-arm prospective feasibility study of a 36-session (14-week) CR intervention in female breast cancer survivors. A sample size of 20 participants was initially planned to evaluate the feasibility of the CR program. An additional five participants were accrued to account for attrition.
Participants’ recruitment, eligibility screening, and consent occurred at the time of their appointment of their final breast cancer treatment and/or subsequent follow-up appointments. Women between the ages of 30 and 75 with stages 0–III breast cancer who were within 18 months of treatment including surgery, radiation, and/or chemotherapy, regardless of type and duration were eligible for the study. Patients could be receiving ongoing endocrine therapy or trastuzumab. Individuals with existing CVD, contraindications to exercise, or cardiac stress testing, metastatic breast cancer, other concurrent malignancies except skin cancer, active infection, psychiatric illness/social situation that would limit compliance with study requirements, or who were pregnant or breastfeeding were excluded from the study. An exercise prescription, approved per protocol by the CR program director and cardiac rehabilitation staff, was developed for each participant in the intervention group to guide the CR sessions.
This study was approved by the Ohio State University Medical Center Cancer Institutional Review Board and followed IRB guidelines.
Demographics, clinical data, and inclusion/exclusion criteria were obtained and recorded for all patients. Variables of interest were participants’ age, self-reported race/ethnicity, cancer treatment details, and medical history. Breast cancer patients typically progress through treatment in the following order: surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy, though not all patients progress through each step. We recruited patients from their treatment close-out appointment to participate in the study, regardless of type or duration of therapy received. The rationale for the proposed research is that cardiac rehabilitation programs have substantial extant infrastructure and may improve morbidity and mortality from both CVD and cancer among breast cancer patients posttreatment.
The CR program consisted of one-hour sessions, three times per week for a maximum of 14 weeks and for a minimum total of 36 sessions. The program took place at an outpatient CR center at the Ohio State University Medical Center that was designated for cardiac patients. An exercise prescription, approved per protocol by the CR program director and cardiac rehabilitation staff, was developed for each participant to guide the CR sessions according to the cardiorespiratory fitness level of the participant. During each session, participants started the intervention at a workload of 60–85% of their VO2 max as determined in advance by a graded exercise stress test using the Bruce protocol . The goal was to increase the duration of this workload to 45 minutes throughout the intervention period. Participants were encouraged to supplement their exercise program at home and to increase the frequency of exercise to five times per week.
A cardiac stress test was performed at baseline and week 14. The participants were instructed on the use of the Borg Perceived Exertion Scale for reporting their subjective level of exertion during the test . The stress testing technician monitored the participants for symptoms such as chest pain or shortness of breath and ensured that the vital signs returned to normal following the test.
Patient questionnaires were administered at baseline, week 8, and week 14. Systolic and diastolic blood pressure (BP), a fasting lipid panel, fasting glucose, height and weight, and body mass index (BMI) of participants were checked at baseline and at the end of the 14-week intervention period.
During the 14-week intervention period, the CR staff contacted participants by phone to remind them of their upcoming CR appointments for the week. The participants received a $20 per week stipend for the 14-week intervention period to help offset travel costs to and from the CR facility. Upon completion of the 14-week assessment, all participants received an additional $50 stipend.
2.2.1. Cardiorespiratory Fitness
Cardiorespiratory fitness was measured by the participants VO2 max in mL/kg/min at baseline and at the end of the 14-week intervention period. The VO2 max was directly obtained from all study participants using a face mask that measured the concentration of inhaled and exhaled gasses during a graded exercise stress test using the Bruce protocol . During the test, the intensity of exercise was gradually increased. The participants’ VO2 max was reached when the value of VO2 did not change with an associated increase in exercise intensity. If participant requested the graded exercise test to be stopped prior to reaching their VO2 max, their submaximal VO2 was recorded as their VO2 max. This test was performed on a treadmill. The graded exercise stress test protocol and related CR patient education classes including nutrition, weight training principles, medications, and heart disease followed the standard CR program. The participants’ BP, heart rate, rate of perceived exertion (RPE) , and any symptoms including chest pain or shortness of breath were monitored before, during, and after the exercise.
2.2.2. CVD Risk Factors
CVD risk factors including BP, heart rate (HR), BMI, fasting total low-density lipoprotein (LDL), total cholesterol, and fasting glucose were measured at baseline and at the end of the 14-week intervention period. The systolic and diastolic BP (mm/Hg) of each participant was assessed three times at one-minute intervals after the participant was seated with legs uncrossed for 5 minutes. The last two readings were averaged for the BP measurement. Height (cm) and weight (kg) were measured without shoes, and BMI (kg/m2) was calculated from these measurements.
2.3. Patient-Reported Outcomes
2.3.1. Physical Activity
The Duke Activity Status Index (DASI) questionnaire was used to assess self-reported physical activity among all participants. The DASI is a 12-item questionnaire that assesses both activities of daily living and leisure-time physical activity. The summed score correlates with peak oxygen consumption . Higher scores indicate higher functional capacity. The DASI has been shown to be valid, reliable, and independently prognostic of cardiac events in women .
2.3.2. Quality of Life (QoL)
The European Organization for Research and Treatment of Cancer QoL core questionnaire (EORTC QLQ-C30) and its associated breast cancer module (EORTC QLQ-BR23) were used to measure QoL and were scored according to the EORTC scoring manual . The EORTC questionnaires are validated tools designed to assess QoL among cancer patients across several dimensions, including global health status, social functioning, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, pain, dyspnea, insomnia, loss of appetite, constipation, diarrhea, and financial strain. The QLQ-BR23 expands the functional scales to include body image, sexual functioning, sexual enjoyment, breast symptoms, arm symptoms, and hair loss. The EORTC questionnaire was self-administered with paper and pencil. If the participants missed their 8-week visit or did not attend their 14-week visit, the EORTC questionnaire was administered by phone or mail.
The Brief Fatigue Inventory (BFI) questionnaire was used to measure self-reported fatigue. BFI is an instrument for evaluation of fatigue and its impact on daily life in patients with cancer. The BFI is a short, validated measure of fatigue severity which complements findings from the EORTC questionnaires .
2.3.4. Participant Satisfaction
Participants were asked to rate their degree of satisfaction with the exercise portion of the program, the education portion of the program, and the overall cardiac rehabilitation experience on a scale of 1–10, with 1 being extremely dissatisfied and 10 being extremely satisfied.
2.3.5. Adverse Events
Adverse events were reported using the Common Terminology Criteria for Adverse Events v4.0 (CTCAE) of the National Cancer Institute. Grade 3, grade 4, and grade 5 toxicities were reported as adverse events.
2.4. Statistical Analysis
The primary endpoint of the study was to assess the feasibility of conducting a 14-week CR program in women with breast cancer after completion of therapy. Feasibility was defined as completion of at least 30 sessions of the program without serious adverse events (SAE) in 80% of patients and was reported as a percent with 95% confidence interval.
Secondary endpoints of the study included the change in cardiorespiratory fitness and DASI. Tertiary endpoints included CVD risk factors, QoL, and patient satisfaction at baseline and 14 weeks.
Summary statistics for patient demographics and disease characteristics were calculated. The proportion of participants who completed the CR program was calculated, along with the 95% confidence interval (CI). The change in each endpoint from baseline to 14 weeks was calculated and summarized by mean, standard deviation, and 95% CI. The difference in these outcomes from baseline to 14 weeks was compared using either a two-sample t-test or sign-rank test. All data analyses were performed using SAS 9.4 (SAS Institute Inc., Cary, NC).
Twenty-five participants were consented and enrolled in the study (Figure 1). Participant characteristics are summarized in Table 1 and cancer characteristics are summarized in Table 2. The median age was 53 (range: 35–71), and the majority of women had ER/PR positive/Her2-neu negative (n = 13, 54%), stage I (n = 13, 54%) or II (n = 7, 30%) breast cancer.
Seventy-two percent (n = 18) of those participants who enrolled completed the CR program (95% CI: 50.6, 87.9). Seven participants withdrew from the study. One patient could not tolerate the schedule, one did not want to start the program, two developed an arrhythmia during the program and were unable to return, two withdrew consent, and one did not return for the program for undocumented reasons. 60% of those enrolled in the study (95% CI: 42.5, 82.0) completed 30 or more sessions and adhered to the study protocol. Of the 18 participants who did not withdraw from the CR program, 83% (n = 15) adhered to the study protocol and completed 30 or more sessions without SAEs.
3.2. Cardiorespiratory Fitness and CVD Risk Factors
Secondary outcomes included the change in cardiorespiratory fitness and CVD risk factors. There was a modest improvement in the VO2 max from the start of CR program to 14 weeks follow-up (mean Δ0.5, 95% CI: −20.0, 5.6, ) (Figure 2).
There was also some improvement in CVD risk factors including HR (Δ0.95, 95% CI: −2.8, 4.7, ), systolic BP (Δ1.76, 95% CI: −5.5, 9.0, ), and diastolic BP (Δ5.18, 95% CI: −0.5, 10.9, ) between baseline and 14-week follow-up. Improvements were also found in BMI (Δ−0.14, 95% CI: −0.9, 0.7, ), fasting blood glucose (Δ−0.53, 95% CI −5.4, 4.34, ), total cholesterol (Δ−4.71, 95% CI: −23.1, 13.7, ), and LDL cholesterol (Δ−4.93, 95% CI: −22.8, 12.9, . Although these secondary and tertiary outcomes did show improvement, the study was not powered to detect statistical significance.
3.3. Patient-Reported Outcomes
There was improvement in the patient reported physical activity according to the DASI (mean Δ13.2; ), mean BFI score (mean Δ−1.7; 95% CI: −2.9, −0.5, ), and QLQ-C30 (Δ5.66; 95% CI: 1.68, 9.63, ) scores during the treatment period. Figure 3 shows the changes in BFI and QLQ-C30 score at baseline, 8-week follow-up, and 14-week follow-up. Patients reported improvement in their fatigue and quality of life on the BFI and QLQ-C30 as early as at the 8-week study period. On the BR23 scales, participants reported improvement in body image, sexual functioning, breast symptoms, and systemic therapy side effects over the 14-week period.
3.4. Patient Satisfaction
Of those 18 participants who remained in the CR program until the end of the 14 weeks, 15 participants (83.3%) rated they were very to extremely satisfied, with the majority (n = 12, 67%) reporting extreme satisfaction, with the exercise portion of the program. Most of the participants (n = 11, 1%) were also very to extremely satisfied with the education component of the program, and 15 participants (83.3%) were very to extremely satisfied with the overall CR experience.
3.5. Adverse Events
Two patients withdrew from the study due to serious adverse events related to cardiac arrhythmias. One patient experienced ventricular tachycardia (grade 4) and required cardiac catheterization during the study period and could not continue with the study protocol past week 10. Another patient experienced supraventricular tachycardia (SVT), and the patient could not return to the study protocol following treatment for the SVT (grade 3). These events did not occur during the CR sessions, but are possibly related to the study intervention. Moreover, one patient experienced a headache during the study intervention (grade 1).
The breast cancer survivors who successfully completed the 14-week CR intervention have shown significant improvement in patient reported physical activity, fatigue, and quality of life (QoL), but without significant improvement in CVD risk factors. Our long-term goal is to decrease the burden of CVD among breast cancer survivors. Moreover, with our central hypothesis, the cardiac rehabilitation intervention will improve cardiorespiratory fitness, CVD risk factors, and QoL among survivors. To mitigate CVD risk in cancer patients, there is a need of effective strategies, and the use of a cardiac rehabilitation (CR) programs has been significantly helpful in selected patients. The cardiooncology rehabilitation (CORE) model has been used to identify patients at high risk of CVD including cardiotoxicity due to cancer therapies . Recent evidence indicated that a CR program is clinically beneficial and cost effective; also, the quality of delivery of a CR program is associated with the morbidity profile of patient population, and the role of exercise, physical activity, and nonpharmacological treatments are proven as a preventive measure for cardiovascular toxicity and modified cardiovascular risk in cancer survivors [24–28].
It is estimated that nearly 90% of women diagnosed with breast cancer will be alive in 5 years, which has important implications for CVD morbidity and mortality . Unfortunately, the effects of breast cancer treatment are known to cause cardiotoxicity . For example, anthracycline therapy, which is often a component of neoadjuvant and adjuvant therapy for high-risk breast cancer, can cause dose-dependent cardiotoxicity that leads to left ventricular dysfunction, congestive heart failure . Trastuzumab can increase the risk of heart failure and left ventricular ejection fraction decline . Radiation therapy to the breast or chest wall has been associated with dose-dependent cardiotoxicity which leads to radiation-induced fibrosis of the myocardium and microvascular damage to the coronary vasculature that accelerates atherosclerosis and development of coronary artery disease . As immunotherapy becomes part of the standard of care for breast cancer treatment, the cardiotoxic effects of monoclonal antibody-based or targeted kinase therapies may contribute to the problem . The shared risk factors combined with cardiotoxicity from breast cancer treatments increase the susceptibility of developing CVD, known as the “multiple-hit” hypothesis .
A recent report indicates that older female breast cancer survivors were more likely to die of CVD than breast cancer. Moreover, those patients that had comorbid conditions, such as CVD, had similar or worse survival compared to survivors with a higher stage of breast cancer without these comorbid conditions . Early recognition of patients who are at risk of cardiac toxicity from their treatment and other risk factors for cardiac disease is essential in improving outcomes for breast cancer survivors .
The primary objective of this study was to assess the feasibility of a CR program in the breast cancer population and is one of the first studies to prospectively assess the feasibility of a CR regimen in this population. Although only 60% of those enrolled on the study adhered to the protocol, 83% of those who completed the CR program were able to adhere to the program and complete 30 or more sessions. This rate is similar to an average completion rate of 60% for the general CR population . The findings are also consistent with completion rates in other studies of cardiac rehabilitation in cancer survivors and are much higher than that reported in a prospective study of breast cancer survivors using a community CR program who had an adherence rate of 30% . Consistent with a previous retrospective study of CR in breast cancer patients that found an increase in VO2 max in participants , we found a nonsignificant increase in VO2 max in participants from baseline to the end of the program. As Table 3 demonstrates, other non-CR based exercise interventions have also demonstrated a benefit of exercise on VO2 max for women with breast cancer by attenuating the effects of chemotherapy during breast cancer treatment and by allowing recovery of cardiopulmonary function after the completion of treatment for breast cancer . The study also found that participant’ self-reported physical activity increased based on the DASI during the program, which is consistent with other studies that have shown an increase in cardiopulmonary fitness and overall physical function after an exercise program based on the DASI .
There have been conflicting results on changes in cardiac markers from a CR program. One study did not demonstrate an improvement in heart rate and blood pressure from baseline to postintervention , while another study showed normalization of BP and lowering of HR with an exercise program [48, 50]. A previous study observed a significant improvement in circulating biomarkers such as insulin levels after exercise training in obese breast cancer survivors . The current study is the first study to look at changes in fasting glucose, cholesterol, and BMI during an exercise program in breast cancer patients. There was a decrease in cholesterol and glucose after completion of the CR program, but the change was not significant. However, since the study was a feasibility study, it was not powered to detect a difference between the values for these endpoints.
A CR platform is known to improve the quality of life for patients that complete the program, including improvement in fatigue [41, 47]. Several studies have also shown similar benefits in QoL in breast cancer patients undergoing exercise training [44, 51]. Our study found that there is a significant improvement in BFI and QLQ-C30 over the intervention period and at follow-up, supporting the previous evidence that fatigue and QoL improve after a CR program [41, 47].
4.1. Strengths and Limitations
The strength of this study was that it used an existing outpatient CR program, including its convenience to hospital-based services and treatments, which have been shown to be efficient and cost effective from a health services perspective . Most private insurance carriers and medicare reimburse for CR utilized for cardiac conditions but not for cancer survivors, given current lack of evidence. However, unlike many exercise programs, CR is characterized by its evidence-based protocol and attention to exercise principles. The AHA released a statement in 2019 emphasizing the importance of CR in the cancer survivor population . Additional strengths of the study include the broad eligibility criteria, which is more representative of the general population of breast cancer survivors. Moreover, the use of objective measures such as VO2 max, vital signs, biometric studies (such as cholesterol and fasting glucose), and the use of validated questionnaires strengthened the study [21–23]. Furthermore, the study is one of a few prospective CR intervention studies for breast cancer survivors.
The limitations of the study include the follow-up at only 8 and 14 weeks from the last treatment. Further investigations with longer-term follow-up are needed to assess duration of the positive effects of the program and to further evaluate changes in cardiac risk factors. Another limitation of the study includes the overall general health of the participants and lack of significant comorbidities in the CR program. Unfortunately, many patients in the oncology population have other comorbidities that would modify their CR program prescription. Moreover, the satisfaction results with the CR intervention are limited due missing data from the people who did not complete the program. Additional important limitations of our study include the lack of a placebo comparison arm, lack of blinding, and no treatment randomization. Therefore, the next step is to complete a double-blind, randomized controlled trial with significantly larger study population, comparing VO2 max in patients undergoing CR program to current standard of care follow-up, which does not include an organized exercise program.
Taken together, our study suggests that CR program in breast cancer survivors is feasible but does not meet is predefined criterion of feasibility. Adherence to the CR program among breast cancer survivors was similar to the general population. While a CR intervention in breast cancer survivors showed a modest improvement in VO2 max and CVD risk factors, it did demonstrate an improvement in patient reported outcomes of increased physical activity, fatigue, and QOL, in a significantly limited period of time suggesting that a larger randomized clinical trial would enroll much higher patient number that should be undertaken.
The patient collection data used to support the findings of this study are available from the corresponding author upon request.
Approval was obtained from the Ethics Committee of Ohio State University Medical Center (2016. #2014C0132). The procedures used in this study adhere to the tenets of the Declaration of Helsinki.
Informed consent was obtained from all individual participants included in the study.
Conflicts of Interest
The authors declare that there are no conflicts of interest.
All authors contributed to the study conception and design. Filadelfiya Zvinovski and Allison Quick wrote the first draft of the manuscript, and all authors commented on previous versions of the manuscript. All authors read and approved the final manuscript.
This study was funded by Heit Philanthropic Donation.
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hindawi.com/journals/jo/2021/9965583/
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2023-09-29T23:38:46Z
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Blessed with an outgoing personality, Natalie (affectionately known as “Nat-Nat”) is a dabbler in many things: diving, skiing, cooking, singing, and, most recently, Pokémon Go. Her curiosity takes her from hobby to hobby, but she never stays with any one hobby for long as she loses interest rather quickly. Natalie is also somewhat of a social butterfly. She is often seen stylishly dressed attending the races and a host of other social functions.
When not exploring new hobbies or socializing, Natalie focuses her time and energy on doing humanitarian work with the Lions Club. A charitable person at heart, Natalie is always ready to serve those in need.
As to golf, Natalie was introduced to the sport in 2016 when she was invited to attend the opening of her friend’s indoor golf center. Her friend soon persuaded her to take golf lessons, and before long she was addicted to the game. She is very eager to improve, playing on the course about once a week and often visiting the indoor golf center to work on her swing under the supervision of a coach. She has a genuine passion for golf and sees herself pursuing this newfound and fascinating hobby for a long, long time.
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hkpgs.com/copy-of-dan-s-bio
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2023-09-29T23:56:47Z
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This is a very variable species. It is very similar to A. ferrugana and can only reliably be separated by genital dissection.
Woodland, heathland and scrub.
Recorded in 25 (9.3%) of the 270 2km squares of Huntingdonshire.
Last recorded in July 2021
Recorded date range (Adult): 29 February to 15 December
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hmbg.org/index.php?id=138&caller=208&bf=1045
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2023-09-29T23:49:06Z
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s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
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en
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Woodland species active in the late afternoon into the evening.
Rough meadows, fields, waysides, uncultivated ground, chalk
downs, hills, and grassy glades and rides in woods and forests
Recorded in 4 (1.5%) of the 270 2km squares of Huntingdonshire.
Last recorded in August 2019
Recorded date range (Adult): 13 May to 09 August
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hmbg.org/index.php?id=138&caller=208&bf=1126
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2023-09-29T23:19:12Z
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Often called "Little Germany," Hermann was founded by the German Settlement Society of Philadelphia, 1836, as a colony where German customs and language could be preserved amid the benefits of America. Named for the national Germanic hero, the town was laid out on a part of the 11,300 acres bought by the society agent George F. Bayer for $15,612.
Though the society disbanded, 1839, the town had a steady German immigration. A German newspaper "Licht Freund" (Friend of Light) was founded, 1843, by Edward Muehl, soon known for his anti-slavery views, and a German school was chartered, 1849.
Hermann developed as a river shipping point and grape culture and wine making flourished. Here, before Prohibition, was one of the largest wineries in the U.S. George Husmann (1827-1902), famed viticulturist, had a vineyard near Hermann. Today several large industries have plants here.
Near the Hermann Bridge, completed, 1930, many German Immigrants perished when the steamboat Big Hatchie exploded, 1843.
Hermann is reminiscent of Rhine Valley towns with its distinctive architecture here amid the splendor of the Ozark foothills.
The County, organized, 1820, is named for the Gasconade (French = brag) River. One of the first county officials was Daniel Morgan Boone, son of the pioneer. Niter found in caves, game, and timber brought settlement in the early 1800's. The returning Lewis and Clark Expedition, 1806, joyfully hailed the sight of cows along the riverbank here.
When the Missouri Pacific R.R. reached Jefferson City, 1855, its first bridge over the Gasconade, some 7 miles west, collapsed with its first train killing 28 passengers.
Hermann celebrates its heritage in the traditional Maifest (May Festival). Then featured are German costume, music, and cookery. An old homes tour includes Stone Hill Farm Wine cellars now used in raising mushrooms. There is a town museum.
Erected 1955 by State Historical Society of Missouri and State Highway Commission.
Topics and series. This historical marker is listed in this topic list: Settlements & Settlers. In addition, it is included in the Missouri, The State Historical Society of series list. A significant historical year for this entry is 1836.
Location. 38° 42.41′ N, 91° 25.832′ W. Marker is in Hermann, Missouri
Other nearby markers. At least 8 other markers are within walking distance of this marker. The Wohlt House (within shouting distance of this marker); Voyage of Discovery (about 500 feet away, measured in a direct line); The Lewis and Clark Expedition Across Missouri (about 500 feet away); The Caboose Museum (about 600 feet away); Pioneer Trails Juncture (about 600 feet away); Monnig Family General Store (about 700 feet away); 232 Wharf St. (about 800 feet away); The Concert Hall and Barrel Bar (approx. ¼ mile away). Touch for a list and map of all markers in Hermann.
Credits. This page was last revised on March 24, 2021. It was originally submitted on June 23, 2011, by Cldisme of Joliet, Illinois. This page has been viewed 889 times since then and 66 times this year. Photos: 1, 2, 3. submitted on March 24, 2021, by Devry Becker Jones of Washington, District of Columbia. • Bill Pfingsten was the editor who published this page.
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https://www.hmdb.org/m.asp?m=43695
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2023-09-30T00:45:46Z
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| 0.953458
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Geo-Matrix G3 Mattressby Blake Medical Distribution
For low maintenance prevention and healing of stage I-IV non-complex pressure skin ulcers (from skin redness to bone-deep wounds)
This mattress features unique construction with three different gel zones for maximum pressure redistribution and shear relief for bony prominences. The column design ensures optimal weight distribution, and there is an incorporated foam perimeter border for help with transfers and ADLs. This is the ultimate mattress for maximum pressure redistribution through immersion, with lasting comfort and durability. The G3 provides the greatest comfort and protection without the risk or worry associated with a powered surface.
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hmebc.com/products/geo-matrix-g3-mattress/
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2023-09-30T00:02:55Z
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Maple Leafs Sign Ian Scott to Entry-Level Contract
Scott, 19, has appeared in 26 games with the Prince Albert Raiders (WHL) this season, posting a record of 23-2-1 with a 1.61 goals-against average and a .943 save percentage. Scott is currently attending Hockey Canada’s selection camp in Victoria for the upcoming 2019 World Junior Championships, where he was one of three goaltenders invited to take part. In 2017-18, he made his professional hockey debut on April 15, 2018 in a start for the Toronto Marlies (AHL), stopping 30 of 33 shots to earn a 4-3 win over the Belleville Senators. Scott remained with the Marlies for the duration of the Calder Cup playoffs, capturing the 2018 Calder Cup.
Scott was originally drafted by the Maple Leafs in the fourth round (110th overall) of the 2017 NHL Draft.
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hockeyfights.com/maple-leafs-sign-ian-scott-to-entry-level-contract
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2023-09-29T23:51:05Z
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to the airport
Our cheapest Heathrow parking package
Good to Go Drop and Ride T5 car park at Heathrow Airport is the epitome of convenience on a budget. Despite being the cheapest option of all our Heathrow Airport Car Parks, it's still only 6 minutes from the terminal. What's more, you won't even need to spend time hunting for a space - the car parks fully insured drivers do all of that for you - all you need to worry about is catching your flight!
Use the handy route-finder on our Map & Directions page for straightforward instructions to the car park. Check in at the reception where one of our professional drivers will be waiting to get your parking sorted - you just need to hop on the transfer bus which runs when you need it. While you're away, rest easy knowing that your car is secured by fencing, CCTV and regular patrols. On your return, just ring the number you were given at check-in and the bus will arrive promptly to take you back to reception where your car will be waiting - it really is that simple.
It's always advisable to pre-book your parking, and doing so through Holiday Extras can save you up to 70% off the car park's gate rate prices. The earlier you book the higher the savings, so it's best to make your reservation as soon as you can - then you can relax and anticipate your holiday in the knowledge your parking is sorted.
Drop your car off and ride the shuttle to the terminal. Easy. Plus your car is parked for you.
Need to know
No parking needed. All you have to do is drive to the Drop & Ride car park and leave your car with a member of the team.
Once that's done take the included shuttle bus to the terminal â€' it takes around 10 minutes to reach Terminal 5. Buses run around every 12 minutes from 5am to 11pm every day.
Your car will be taken to a secured, airport-approved car park where it will stay until you get back.
On your return take the bus back to the car park and your car will be waiting for you to drive home.
If you have limited mobility let us know as soon as you've booked. We can arrange suitable transport from the car park to your terminal.
There are disabled bays available, which work on a first come first served basis, located near the bus stop.
The car park is on airport grounds and secured by regular patrols.
The small print
Unfortunately the car park cannot accommodate trailers and motorhomes.
The car park is closed for arrivals between 11pm and 5am.
You'll need to bring a printout of your booking confirmation with you.
Getting to and from airport
Arriving at the airport
When you get to the car park, head to the reception to check in your car and handover your keys.
Then take the included shuttle bus to Terminal 5. It runs around every 12 minutes throughout the day and takes 10 minutes to reach the terminal.
Meanwhile your car will be parked in a secured car park on airport grounds.
Returning to the airport
When you return give the car park a call so they can get your car ready. The car park will issue you with the phone number when you drop your car off. Then take the bus back to the car park, where your car will be waiting.
Good To Go Drop And Ride T5 Address
Good to Go Parking,
Can't think of anything. Everything went smoothly...even to the glass of water.!Mr Bell (Good To Go Drop And Ride)
Our customers rated Good To Go Drop And Ride on average 9/10 (218 reviews).
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Holidays Are Upon Us
Well, I had a wonderful Yule with some of my family and my boyfriend, and tomorrow we intend to surprise my Nana and Papa with a visit for Christmas. My mom was a champ and got me a whole stack full of books. Which is perfect, considering I still need to read 11 books to make my reading goal on Goodreads. (If I fail, it's okay. But I have thin, tiny little back-up books to make sure that doesn't happen. Even if I'm not interested in them.)
Next year, I don't think I'm going to do a reading goal. Probably because I'm at a point where I want to go back and start working on project rewrites again. Lately I've been reading books with intricate World Building and interesting plot twists and it's making me ambitious because I know which stories require what amount of work. Rewrites are hard, because I love most of what I've already written, but once you make the decision that something doesn't work, there's no possibility of saying 'well, it's good enough as it is; we'll just polish it a little and release it.' I've made that mistake before, and I won't let it happen again. So rewrites are in order.
First, however, I have to finish the PMC and the book following. (Working title: Believe Everything.) BE (as it is affectionately known) will be the introductory book to Vassel. And boy is it going to take a lot of work to make it worthy of that honor. As it is, I've started it. I know a lot of major plot points, and I know how it ends. That does not make any of this easier. At all. Period.
Anyway, funny story: I decorated for Yule/Christmas this year. On the 21st, we opened our presents and I was happy. The next day, my brother plugged in the lights in the dining room and I walked out of my room and was surprised, thinking to myself "The holiday is over, why are the lights on?" Then I remembered. Not all of the holidays were over. I'm a bit of a duh. To be fair, though, new house means I get to celebrate MY holidays, and once mine was over, I kind of forgot for a minute that the other existed. My bad.
Also, I am a huge, huge procrastinator, which means all of the presents I sent out ... didn't leave until the 20th. My apologies to everyone relying on me to make that deadline. It never happens. I'm terrible.
Well, I think that's it for this little life update. As you know, I took a week off from posting following the release of Valerian. After the feverish writing sprints of NaNo, I thought a break was called for. But alas, now I must get Hawthorn finished and move on to the editing portion of that endeavor.
Blessed Be and Happy Holidays everyone!
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2023-09-30T00:37:53Z
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Evidently, it may possibly customize the hurt a little — however , into the usual scheme, no person does see. If you should’lso are higher responsive to be able to catch supervises — choose caprine animal yogurt given it comes with a reduced an important breeze compared with sheep yogurt. And so, often times there are electricity traps you may belong to should you just simply are going to head over gluten-complimentary. To get started, its not all gluten-absolutely free any-factor flour is reached expert. You will find gluten-no cost agencies obtainable a aren’one thousand exclusively food grain-free of charge. I actually forced in this article, you need to er or him contemplating, are they good usable out on fridge?
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Ingredient Fluffy Chickpea Flour Pancakes Vegan, Gluten Free, Oil Free, Nut Free
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.homefinch.com/keto-flour-substitutions/
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2023-09-30T00:39:14Z
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“We have 13 rescue cats,” says Cindy Mullins, from her tidy, surprisingly cat hair-free home in North Sydney. “We were running out of names, and we had none yet for this one,” she adds, pointing to a gray short-hair sitting on the floor, precisely in the middle of the living room. “So that became her name, Noneyet.” Cleo, Lady, Rascal, Jackson and Mr. Nibbles hold court on various chairs and sofas. Other cats lounge in lazy shafts of afternoon sun.
Her daughter brought the first stray home many years ago, starting them down a path where there’s always a cat underfoot. “I feel so bad for these abandoned animals. Some of them were abused, some I didn’t even think they’d make it. But they did, and they curl up to you and almost say thank you.” The pet-loving daughter, now in Alberta, contributes to the upkeep of this cat sanctuary.
With an energy in her 60s that many younger people would envy, the native of North Sydney and her husband George, a transplanted Newfoundlander from Cornerbrook, live in a house that is “probably 90 or 100 years old.” Both are retired – Cindy was a nursing aid and George worked at car dealerships.
Both are still active and volunteer at nursing homes. “The Alzheimer’s wing can be tough,” admits Cindy. “After we couldn’t take care of them here anymore, my parents had a room at a nursing home. My dad had bad arthritis and was blind, and my mom had dementia. He had a mind but no body, and she had a body but no mind. So the two of them together made one.”
The Mullins are as delightfully friendly as every cliché says Cape Bretoners must be. However, as emotionally warm as the home is, the physical house could be very cold. “We had space heaters all over the place, and I was worried about the wiring. And our electricity bills were very high.”
And the cold didn’t just wear on the nerves and make life uncomfortable. It causes physical pain for Cindy, who has been living for over a decade with inflammatory rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. “It’s in my hands, my legs, in my spine. And let me tell you, it doesn’t like the cold. Some nights, I seize up, and the pain is so bad.” George is also dealing with health concerns including high blood pressure, diabetes and bad circulation in his legs.
“But we could be hooked up to something in a hospital, so we don’t complain. It’s a health issue and you just deal with it.”
They had the house insulated ages ago, but it was an older style of insulation that hasn’t stood the test of time. It settled and there were lots of drafts through the walls, floors, ceilings. “It was so cold there’d be frost on the cups,” says Cindy, as we (her two guests from Clean Foundation) settle down at the kitchen table. “Oh, speaking of which, would you like some tea and squares? And you can’t say no.”
“We’re on a fixed income,” says George, “so it was hard to keep up with heating bills. We’re very sensible – except for the cats, and our daughter helps out with them – and we don’t spend on things we don’t need.”
And then George heard about HomeWarming while looking at the Nova Scotia Power website. HomeWarming offers no-charge energy assessments and home upgrades to income-qualified homeowners.
Clean Foundation looks after electrically heated homes, while Efficiency Nova Scotia takes care of houses with non-electric heat sources. The program is supported by Nova Scotia Power and the Province of Nova Scotia.
Yet when George told Cindy about HomeWarming, she didn’t believe it. “I almost asked ‘What are you smoking?’ because nothing’s for free. But he had already applied, and am I glad he did. They called us, did the assessment, and then the work began, bing bang boom.”
“All exterior walls were insulated from the outside, the attics and knee walls were insulated from within using spray foam and cellulose, and gaps were sealed” says Zenon Pilipowicz, the Clean Foundation Energy Advisor assigned to the Mullins’ home. “An oil hot water tank was replaced with a more efficient electric tank, and to be safe, we replaced the old knob and tube electrical wiring.”
“The Mullins now feel much safer in their house after the electrical upgrade, and the house is significantly warmer and 34 percent more efficient.”
“I’m amazed really,” says George. “Sometimes if we put our thermostat up to just room temperature, we have to turn it down because the house gets so warm now. Heating bills have really come down, basically in half.”
For Cindy, the warmth has brought both emotional and physical relief. “You’ll never believe how much stress was on us. The bills, the cold, the wiring that made me nervous. And the arthritis is better this year because the house is holding the heat in. It means so much to us.”
It wasn’t just the work that impressed them. “The people you sent, they were so kind and respectful,” says Cindy. “They had plastic to cover everything, they took off their boots, they took all their mess with them, they vacuumed.”
“You know the biggest complaint I have with your program? The boys were done too fast. That’s how nice they were. I miss them.” Cindy quickly became a surrogate mom to the contractors, making sandwiches as she good-naturedly teased them about girlfriends.
Cupping a warm tea in her hands, Cindy recalls some of the challenges after she had to stop working because of her health. “I had my parents here for years and looked after them best I could. I had two kids in college. Financially it was a struggle, so HomeWarming seemed to be too good to be true, that’s just what I thought.”
“But you know what? It wasn’t.”
“I’m grateful to all the people involved – Nova Scotia Power, the government, Clean, Efficiency,” says George. “I’ve told, I don’t know how many people. The application is easy, you’ve got nothing to lose.”
A cat’s loud cry interrupts us. “What’s wrong? Oh, the door’s closed and you don’t like it!” Cindy gets up to let Rascal into the kitchen. She pauses at the fridge door, covered with photos of her 33-year-old son and 26-year-old daughter.
“I know life can be tough. There are nights I wake up in so much pain but I don’t let it get me down. I try to be active, to take care of my cats. And there’s no words to describe the kids I have, and I don’t say that just because they’re mine. We skype and call each other all the time, and we’re expecting our first grandchild.”
“We’re blessed, George and I.”
She lets the cat scurry in before turning back to us. “And one of you should eat that last square, no sense putting it back in the fridge.”
Efficiency Nova Scotia offers low-income homeowners free energy efficiency improvements that can help them feel more comfortable while reducing heating and power bills. And these upgrades are provided at no-cost thanks to the generous support from the Province of Nova Scotia. Why? Because a house is a structure. A home is warm.Find out if you're eligible
You can speak confidentially with a Service Advisor about your eligibility by calling HomeWarming at 1-877-434-2136 (toll free) or by filling in the form below. Intake will be completed by Efficiency Nova Scotia to provide an easy process for all applicants.
If your community group or association would like to learn more about HomeWarming, please email us at email@example.com to set up a presentation.
If you are a reporter and would like to speak to HomeWarming, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
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https://www.homewarming.ca/story/a-home-warm-enough-for-people-and-pets/
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2023-09-30T00:24:40Z
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Breathtaking countryside views are just one of the highlights of this spacious 4BR/2 bath Ranch style home with full walk-out lower level. Home has all the features to live in comfort. Complete with natural gas furnace, air conditioning and solarium. Enjoy its custom features such as maple cabinets, granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, and Brazilian chestnut flooring. Outside home features vinyl decking, underground sprinklers, and large upper and lower manicured lawn. New windows 2020. Home is conveniently located; close to Munson Medical Center, YMCA, and just minutes from downtown Traverse City.
ilver Lake Rd to Blue Ridge Lane (2nd left after S. Airport Rd). Home is approx 1/2 mile left.
Copyright © 2023 Northern Great Lakes Realtors (NGLR) Listing provided by Northern Great Lakes Realtors (NGLR). The information in this listing was gathered from third-party sources including the seller. Home Waters LLC its subscribers disclaim any and all representations or warranties as to the accuracy of this information.
Coldwell Banker Schmidt-benzie. 6919 Frankfort Hwy Benzonia, MI 49616
Andrea Galloup, Century 21 Northland. 241 E State Street Traverse City, MI 49684
Real estate evaluation can be a very subjective measure. These properties were chosen based on a simple series of objective numbers and may not actually be very similar to the property being searched. Contact a professional REALTOR for assistance in evaluating any given property.
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Are you making Valentine’s Day plans yet? If so, what are you gonna wear?? I found some lovey-dovey dresses that would be super cute for V-Day.
Bebe Silk Belle Sleeve Dress – such a soft, pretty dress
Topshop Romper – obviously not a dress, but adorable nonetheless
Topshop Racerback Dress – only $64 and a racerback is great for showing off shoulders
Eliza J Belted Dress – 40% off and would be so cute with a fun necklace
Bebe Lace Bandage Dress – wowza!
Laundry Blouson Dress – 60% off and a favorite brand
Calvin Klein Sheath Dress – can’t go wrong with this shape and it also comes in Petite
LABEL by five twelve Drop Waist Shift Dress – I adore this pink!
Keepsake the Label Crisscross Back Dress – how fun is this?!
Bebe Leopard Shirt Dress – universally flattering and such a wild print
I also like this long dress by Laundry. So curvy and sexy!
But really, sometimes a girl just wants to wear a cute top and jeans.
Bebe Banded Lace Tank – it also comes in red
No plans yet here, but I’d still like a new dress! 🙂
On Honey We’re Healthy: The Lean Body Meal Plan
On Honey We’re Healthy: Before & After Success Story (Andrea of Worley House)
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https://www.honeywerehome.com/2014/02/valentines-day-dresses.html
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2023-09-29T23:56:07Z
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s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
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I need to take calcium supplements for osteoporosis; however, I noticed that when I temporarily stopped taking the calcium supplements, the swelling and disfigurement of the last joints [the distal?] in my fingers caused by OA stopped increasing. When I resumed the supplements, the swelling and disfigurement advanced. Is there any way to take calcium supplements without worsening the swelling and disfigurement of the finger joints caused by OA?
One thing medicine has taught me is to never say that something is impossible. But I know of no evidence and cannot even think of a theoretical reason for why oral calcium would increase OA of the finger joints.
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.hopkinsarthritis.org/ask-the-expert/calcium-supplements-arthritis-in-finger-joints/
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Hello Claire, Can you tell us about yourself as an artist? How did you become an artist?
It might be a cliché, but as early as I can remember, I always wanted to be an artist when I grew up.
At some point during school I was gently told that you can’t actually work as an artist, so I started looking at fashion design, but everything kept going back to sculpture. I studied sculpture at Northumbria Uni, and as soon as I graduated I started applying for absolutely any opportunity I could find, regardless of the fact that I had no CV.
Basically, I just kept working every waking second, and eventually I got one or two temporary commissions, and it started to grow from there. About 10 years ago I was approached by Karsten Greve, and around that time drawing started to become more significant for me.
Now my practice spans a lot of different media, and the explorations in one area feed into the other areas. Day-to-day, the hands-on side of my practice usually involves drawing, painting, planning sculptures on paper, and doing taxidermy.
What would you like visitors to think about when they see As I Live and Breathe?
I would like them to think, and I feel like sometimes a written explanation limits the potential for that.
It is too easy to explain an artwork away to nothing, and I like my work to retain an element of ambiguity, so I don’t think it is helpful to spell out exactly what I want someone to think.
Aside from that, my work isn’t the result of a linear process – it isn’t a case of me figuring out how to make people think a certain thing, it is more that I think about certain things and the work comes out as a result of that. It’s more a process of me asking myself questions and exploring the unexpected possibilities that arise from that process of questioning.
That said, I can certainly tell you what I am thinking about, which leads to my ideas.
I am terrified by the aggressively selfish attitude we as a society have towards everything around us. We just keep consuming and consuming, and even now do little more than pay lip service to actually dealing with the mess we have made of the planet and the disastrous direction we are moving in.
I’m not for a minute suggesting that I am not complicit in this. I suppose that is part of what scares me. It is so easy to lead a double life – to be genuinely concerned about our impact, but to knowingly placate yourself by doing good yet relatively ineffectual things like refusing plastic straws, while still taking transatlantic flights and eating meat and dairy.
We hurt ourselves, mentally and physically, and we hurt what sustains us. And yet, amid all of this, there is the overwhelming beauty and frailty of life.
What is your favourite medium to work with and why?
At the moment I have been working with pastels and pigments, and the bodies of dead animals. So a bit of a broad range there!
I like having the freedom to move between different materials and techniques. The thing I enjoy most is learning. That often means I put myself in the position of doing things I find very difficult, and therefore the process can be infuriating and slow.
What is the creative process of making your sculptures and artwork?
Whether the end result is a drawing or painting or sculpture or all of those things, all my ideas tend to start in the same way.
I need to move away from my everyday working environment. That can mean going outside and walking, travelling, visiting museums, cinema, gigs and reading books. Anything that can transport me either physically or mentally.
Generally, the most productive thing is to go elsewhere. Then ideas begin to appear in the form of words or shapes. I then start to sketch these things very roughly and discover connections between them.
What drew you to using taxidermy?
When I was younger I was not interested in taxidermy at all, and perhaps I even disliked it a bit because I had jumped to conclusions and never really thought about it properly.
But I’ve always used organic matter in my work. Animals are just a part of that.
Early on I was just using bits of animals, feathers and unpreserved dead things, but as my work developed I moved away from simply exploring decay, and became preoccupied with the specific roles of the lifeforms in my work.
I wanted to be able to manipulate the specific positions of animals, and to control them visually, and to halt their decay. I found that in order to do that I needed taxidermy, and as I started to learn the various processes, my understanding of it changed entirely, and the process of touching and exploring the dead beings has become a central part of my practice.
What motivates and influences you as an artist? What other artists are you drawn to?
I don’t think I’m motivated primarily by other artists, perhaps more by their approach, their way of thinking, and their single-mindedness and determination.
Back when I was studying, like 20 years ago, I was really influenced by people like Anya Gallaccio, Rebecca Horn and Kiki Smith. Now I’m perhaps more influenced by people working in other artforms.
The writing of David Foster Wallace has directly inspired new ideas many times.
Music is a vital part of my process when I’m working on the more expressionistic parts of drawings and paintings, and when thinking of new ideas. At the moment I use Aphex Twin, Bjork, Jon Hopkins, Fuck Buttons, Nathan Fake, Nick Cave, and various other electronic/techno stuff. It’s not just reading and listening to tunes – I cannot make work without this.
Your artwork has been a residence in some beautiful places, such as the Musse Jean Lucrat. Where has been your favourite place to display so far? Or where is your dream location to display your work?
Working at Chateau d’Oiron was pretty amazing. The location, the historical details of the chateau, and the permanent collection of contemporary art there are all very inspiring. I was offered the attic of the chateau, and there was evidence of many animals living in that room currently – or at least using it – not just insects, pigeons and rodents, but barn owls, bats, and pine martens. There was an important renaissance fresco in the room directly below, and I developed my work in response to all these things.
Dream locations… Well an obvious one in the UK is the Turbine Hall. I’d be excited by any opportunity to work on a very large scale temporary commission in a culturally or historically significant location. That seems to be the kind of situation where I work best.
Your artworks seem to play with concepts of time and fantasy, what other narratives do you feel your artwork has?
Fantasy isn’t something I really think about in relation to my work. Everything I make stems from observations and concerns about what I see around me, consciousness and our perception of reality, and the physical world.
I’m interested in the passing of time, and our complete lack of control in the face of the change that brings. That affects every other aspect of our lives, and I think it does have a considerable role in the way we try to distance ourselves from other animals and from nature, because at the end of the day nature embodies change and mortality, and that is what scares us most.
What do you have coming up?
I’m currently working towards a solo exhibition at Galerie Karsten Greve Paris in 2020.
Some projects just culminated – my exhibition at the Horniman, and a new body of work for the Fondation Daniel & Florence Guerlain Drawing Prize.
Generally I am quite drained and need to start from scratch when I’ve finished a project, so now I’m really trying to focus on my studio practice, researching and experimenting a bit, and starting to develop new ideas for the solo show.
At the moment I also have work in some group exhibitions in Germany and France.
Two suspended installations and two paintings can be seen at Biennale Ephémères, Château de Monbazillac, France, until 30 September, and other works can also be seen at Bêtes de scène, Villa Datris, France until 3 Nov 2019, and ARTENREICH – Insekten in der Kunst, Museum Sinclair-Haus, Germany, until 13 October.
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Daily Tarotscopes – April 22, 2022
Check your daily tarotscope to figure out what is anticipated for you involving soothsaying and numerology for Friday, April 22, 2022, by zodiac sign.
Tarot card: The Moon
You no longer are fooled by someones pretense; their true colors shine through, and give you a glimpse into how they operate now that you know what you plan to do with that information.
Tarot card: The Sun
It’s a good day no matter what happens. You succeed and make all your dreams come true. Nothing can get you down. You are thinking positively and your spirits will remain high.
Tarot card: The Hanged Man
Stop waiting for other people who would not give you the same respect. Make decisions you know need to be made and you will feel much better when you start taking charge of your own life.
Tarot card: The Hermit
There are days when it’s better to keep to yourself and not socialize as much as you usually do. Today was made for reflection and thinking about the future.
Tarot card: The Lovers
You are stuck in the middle of a situation where life gives you few choices. You have to make a change about your relationship if you ever are going to be happy.
Tarot card: Death
When something comes to an end, it may have nothing to do with anything you did; people change and sometimes love was never meant to last forever.
Tarot card: The High Priestess
Surround yourself with people who respect you and listen to your opinions. Don’t continue to waste your life on fake friends who only seem to meet you when it works out for them.
Tarot card: The Magician
You have lots of tricks up your sleeve and it’s not a bad idea to use them. Sometimes when things don’t work out the first time, you have to go back and try again.
Tarot card: The Fool
You are at a place where you think you have mastered every situation, but there is room for you to learn from others; don’t be so quick to dismiss help, it could cause you to make a mistake that was preventable.
Tarot card: The Star
Your spiritual life is so important. It’s always a good idea to spend time in prayer and asking the universe to guide you when you don’t know which direction to take with your life.
Tarot card: The Magician, reversed
There comes a time in life when you have to give up. Sometimes it’s important to count your losses and forget about the potential you think you see but really is never there.
Tarot card: The Devil
Something is in your life, causing you to be the type of person you don’t want to be. You have allowed yourself to be vulnerable. The best way to overcome what is stronger than you, is to bring it to light and let people you trust help you to be accountable for your choices.
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The medieval tower was the retreat of the legendary Mayor Henry Toppler
The Toppler Castle is probably the oldest surviving weekend house. It resembles a medieval tower , and is located below Rothenburg in moist meadow land at the Fox Mill. In 1388, the water castle of Rothenburg’s legendary mayor Heinrich Toppler was built partly as a home and partly as a defensive tower building in a so-called feasts house or pond house.
The building is fully intact with furniture and furnishing from the 16th to the 19th Century . It is surrounded by a garden, which could be flooded to protect the residents when needed. Since 1861 , the Toppler Castle has been owned by the Boaz family that at times let it as a holiday home . You can get to the Toppler Castle in the Tauber Valley via the double bridge or the Barbarossa Bridge in about 30 minutes walk from the castle garden.
Friday to Sunday : 13-16.00
closed in November
(Subject to change !)
Taubertalweg 100 , 91541 Rothenburg
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How to get there?
Access from bus, train, and airport is easy as the bus and Kent train station is a 5 minute distance from the hotel.
If you are travelling from Cork Airport a taxi is the quickest and easiest way to get to our hotel. You will find a taxi rank located just outside the departure terminal at Cork Airport. The price is normally between €17 and €22.
Alternatively, you can get the public bus service. Routes 226 or 226A go straight from the airport to Cork Bus Station which is a 5-minute walk from our hotel.
Is there car parking?
Limited car parking is available on a first-come-first-served basis. The charge for this is €9 per night and it can be pre-booked online. The car park is located at 5A Little William Street, York Street, T23 X544. From the hotel, head east on MacCurtain Street/N8 toward Harley’s St., then turn left onto York St. and finally turn right onto Little William St. to reach the car park.
When all spaces are full, guests will be directed to a Multi-story car park (50m from the hotel). Please check-in at the hotel, drop your luggage, and directions to car parking will be given to you by reception.
Is the hotel in the city centre?
Yes, Hotel Isaacs is in the city centre. It is 10 minutes walk from the train station and 5 minutes from the bus station and the main shopping street in Cork, Patrick Street. Shops, theatres, pubs, restaurants, nightclubs as well as the commercial and legal centre of Cork, are all 0 - 15 minutes maximum walk.
Do you accept group bookings?
Unfortunately due to the size of the hotel, we are unable to accept group bookings. We regret to advise you that if the hotel discovers a group booking has been inadvertently taken either as single or multiple reservations online from different websites, we (the hotel) reserve the right to cancel the reservation on arrival and the group will forfeit in full any deposits already paid with no liability on the hotel to find alternative accommodation for the group.
What are the check-in/check-out times?
Rooms are available from 3 pm. If you plan to arrive earlier in the day, please let us know and we will endeavor to have the rooms ready for you on arrival. Check out of the hotel rooms is at 12 noon or from the apartments by 10:30 am. If later an extra charge applies.
Is breakfast included in the rate?
In most cases, breakfast is not included in the price but can be purchased either online when making your reservation, at reception, or in the restaurant. Please check your booking confirmation where it will state if you have breakfast included. Breakfast is served daily in the restaurant from 7.00h - 10.00h Monday - Friday and 7.30h -10.30h Saturday, Sunday and Public Holidays.
Can I leave my luggage?
Yes, we will be happy to hold your luggage.
What safekeeping facilities are available for valuables?
All bedrooms have a laptop safe.
Can we have dinner in the hotel?
Greenes Restaurant is the hotel's popular restaurant. As the restaurant is busy most nights it is highly advisable to book your dinner reservation table in advance. This can be done by requesting a time at your time of booking, by contacting the hotel via e-mail or by phone or by contacting Greenes directly.
Are pets allowed in the hotel?
Only guide dogs are permitted within the hotel.
Do you have non-smoking rooms?
Yes, all guests rooms at Hotel Isaacs are non-smoking. Should our accommodation team discover someone has smoked in a bedroom an automatic fine of €100 will be charged to your credit card. Smoking is not permitted by law in any public area of the hotel.
Do you have accessible rooms?
Yes, we have a limited number of accessible rooms with wet bathrooms. Please make a note if you require an accessible room. Please note there is no lift access so our apartments may not be suitable for guests with reduced mobility.
Do you have interconnecting rooms at your hotel?
Is it cheaper to book online?
Booking directly over the phone or through the hotel website is always at least €10 cheaper per night when compared to third-party websites.
Is identification required to check-in at the hotel?
All guests are requested to produce a photo id at check-in.
Does the hotel have babysitters?
What facilities does the hotel have for families with babies?
Baby cots and high chairs.
Are security deposits required?
All rooms and apartments must be secured with a valid credit card pre-authorisation or full payment on arrival, verified by Pin, and the customer present. Should a credit card not be available, full payment with a debit card will be required, plus an additional deposit of a minimum of €150.00 per night and €250.00 per night (Apartment) This deposit is refunded in full, provided there is no damage or soilage to the property or excessive disruption to other guests.
Which is the nearest airport?
Cork Airport is located 7.9Km from the hotel, just 15 minutes south of the city by taxi or 20 minutes on the frequent coach services.
Which is the nearest train station?
Kent Station is 650m from the hotel, just 10 minutes on foot.
What are the coordinates of the hotels?
51.9017° N, 8.4681° W.
What Plugs/Voltage is used in Ireland?
Ireland and UK 230V 50hz.
What is there for families to do in the area?
Is the reception open 24 hours a day?
Does the hotel provide late check-out?
Yes, for a fee and subject to availability.
Can you arrange for amenities or gifts to be placed in the room?
Yes, but a lead time is required.
Can I book sightseeing tours directly at the hotel?
Tours cannot be booked directly at the hotel, but our team will be happy to advise on the best things to see and do in the city.
Does the hotel have lifts?
Yes, there is a lift in the hotel. However, there is no lift access in the self-catering apartments.
Does the hotel car park have accessible parking spaces?
Does the hotel have a step-free entrance?
Yes, there is a step-free entrance to the Hotel. However, there is not for the apartments.
Does the hotel restaurant cater to vegetarians, vegans, and Coeliacs?
Yes, however, there are limited choices due to the food we serve at Greenes.
Does the hotel restaurant have a kids' dinner menu?
No, this is not available.
Does the hotel have corporate rates available?
Yes, these rates are based on volume.
Are there any meeting and conference room facilities available at the hotel?
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Hotels near Utah State Capitol are shown below ordered by distance (closest first). Explore our hotels to find accommodations near Utah State Capitol (in Utah State Capitol) for your upcoming travels.
We sell the best lodging close to Utah State Capitol so you can review the discounted Utah State Capitol accommodations below and securely reserve the perfect hotel.
How should we direct your call?
Book online or call +1-800-219-2797
Hotel Monaco Salt Lake City, Ellerbeck Mansion Bed & Breakfast and Salt Lake Marriott Downtown at City Creek are the best rated hotels based on customer reviews in the last 365 days.
Hyatt Regency Salt Lake City, Salt Lake Marriott Downtown at City Creek and Radisson Hotel Salt Lake City Downtown are the top 3 luxury hotels near Utah State Capitol.
Ellerbeck Mansion Bed & Breakfast, Hyatt Regency Salt Lake City, and Salt Lake Plaza SureStay Collection by Best Western are the properties closest to Utah State Capitol.
Ellerbeck Mansion Bed & Breakfast, Little America Hotel and Oakwood at Cityscape Apartments are the best rated independent hotels (not part of a big brand).
Salt Lake Marriott Downtown at City Creek, Marriott City Center and Towneplace Suites Salt Lake City Downtown are the best rated Marriott/Starwood branded hotels (based on customer reviews score).
Hotel Monaco Salt Lake City and Holiday Inn Express Salt Lake City Downtown are the best rated Intercontinental Hotel Group (IHG) branded hotels (based on user reviews score).
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Grass Valley officially incorporated in 1860, and to this day, there are plenty of designated historical landmarks to visit. These include the Empire Mine State Historic Park and the beautiful Home of Lola Montez. Although there is plenty of history and natural beauty to discover, city life is never far away. Located just four miles from Grass Valley, travelers can enjoy the quaint, vibrant streets of Nevada City.
Regardless of your plans, Grass Valley has plenty of hotels to ensure optimal comfort, style, and value. Taking the time to find the perfect hotel for your needs will allow you to fully enjoy this remarkable area. After all, there is plenty to see and do. There are also plenty of choices, so start planning your Grass Valley getaway. With numerous quaint inns and hotels awaiting your arrival, you can explore Grass Valley like never before.
When are the best times to visit Grass Valley, CA?
If you love hot, dry summers, then you will adore Grass Valley from June to September. The hottest month tends to be July, with an average high of 87.4 degrees Fahrenheit and a low of 56.2 degrees Fahrenheit. Since the summer months are so humid and dry, thunderstorms are not uncommon. In comparison, the winter months are cool and wet. From November to March, you can expect significant rainfall. In January, for example, the average precipitation is 9.69 inches — compared to just 0.12 inches in July.
In December, you can expect an average high of 53.1 degrees Fahrenheit and an average low of three degrees Fahrenheit. These temperatures still require warm clothing, so pack accordingly — especially if you plan to participate in some outdoor fun. During the month of July, travelers can attend California WorldFest, a music festival that celebrates culture and diversity. In the winter, the fun continues with events such as Winter Fun Festival, which is a must for car lovers.
Below is a chart of the current pricing seasonality of hotels and motels in Grass Valley, CA:
Averate Rates by Star Rating
Below we've posted 3 graphs displaying average rate patterns by star rating class in Grass Valley, CA. Analyze these line graphs to evaluate the cheapest time to book in Grass Valley for upcoming travels.
What are the best hotels in the Grass Valley, CA area?
4 Star Average Prices: $222.50
Grass Valley Courtyard Suites is a luxury boutique hotel located near the Empire Mine State Park. It is also walking distance from Grass Valley's historic downtown. When you stay here, the staff will ensure that you have everything you need to relax, unwind, and explore. Offering quaint bed and breakfast charm combined with upscale hotel amenities, each room is spacious and unique. Enjoy their year-round spa, seasonally heated pool, free Wi-Fi, covered parking, fireplaces, and so much more.
Gold Miners Inn is another luxurious option. Catered to executive travelers and vacationing families, guests enjoy an extensive, hot complimentary breakfast, as well as free snacks and cocktails during the evening reception. Each state-of-the-art room and suite is individually climate-controlled, ensuring the highest level of comfort. This inn is the perfect base camp — so get out and explore!
Where are affordable hotels near Grass Valley, California?
3 Star Average Prices: $175.09
If you are looking for an affordable hotel in Grass Valley, Holiday Lodge checks all the boxes. Located on East Main Street, this 35-room motel offers themed rooms, a seasonal outdoor pool, and a breakfast patio. Known to be an affordable option that is close to great dining options, each room features free Wi-Fi, heating and air conditioning, a mini refrigerator, a coffee maker, a 32-inch flat-screen TV, and a phone that makes free local calls.
If you are looking for a unique, family-friendly experience during the summer, The Pines Motel & Cottages offers one-of-a-kind accommodations at a great price. There are 12 motel rooms available, one suite, and cottage adorable, standalone cottages. Although this motel is situated in a beautiful, natural area, you will still be close to the Grass Valley Museum, the Center for the Arts, and if you have any questions, the Visitors Center is also nearby. All rooms are air-conditioned, include free Wi-Fi, free breakfast, and more.
2 Star Average Prices: $98.24
Which hotels in Grass Valley, California offer the best discounts?
The Best Western Gold Country Inn is not your average hotel. Nestled among the towering pine trees, the Best Western Gold Country Inn is conveniently located off Highway 49. With easy access to Grass Valley and Nevada City, you can enjoy the best of both worlds — city and nature. Featuring five separate buildings, surrounded by stunning landscaping, each room is spacious, clean, and comfortable. If you are a veteran, military or government personnel, you can enjoy 10 percent off your stay. The same discount applies to CAA and AARP members. If you are an AAA member, you can enjoy discounts up to 15 percent!
Located just three miles from Grass Valley, you will find the Nevada City Inn. Catering to both business and leisure travelers, this hotel is situated just one mile from downtown Nevada City. Although you'll be close to all the action, the hotel itself is situated in a park-like setting. Enjoy outdoor gazebos, a barbeque area, beautifully landscaped grounds, as well as nearby lakes and streams. The discount program at the Nevada City Inn includes AAA approved accommodations and a business traveler discount.
Where are the best budget hotels around Grass Valley, CA?
Located less than 8 miles from Grass Valley, the Harmony Ridge Lodge ticks all the boxes when it comes to value. Located near Tahoe National Forest Headquarters, you can easily access a wide range of incredible outdoor adventures. Whether you like to fish or hike, this national forest is certainly a site to see. For those who prefer history or art, the Historic Firehouse No. 1 and the Off Broadstreet Theatre are also within the vicinity. Guests enjoy complimentary breakfast, free Wi-Fi, free parking, and a number of other on-site amenities.
The Northern Queen Inn is another option that offers incredible value. This inn offers travelers a quaint and quiet retreat, away from the hustle and bustle. Situated in a 34-acre property full of breathtaking pine trees, the inn is ideal for all types of travelers. Book one of their charming rooms, a secluded cabin featuring everything you would need during your stay, or a spacious chalet when traveling with a group or family. Although you will be in a setting that is guaranteed to melt away stress, the Northern Queen Inn is still only a short walk or drive to historic tours, shopping, restaurants, and entertainment.
What attractions does the city of Grass Valley have to offer?
If you're interested in wine, Grass Valley is the place to be. This region's warm days and cool nights provide the perfect growing conditions, producing grapes that are full of flavor and unique character. Whether you visit Lucchesi Vineyards and Winery or the Avanguardia Tasting Room, you are spoiled for choice. Sample various wines, listen to live music, and let your hair down. The scenery alone is something to raise your glass to. It's the perfect romantic or girls' getaway!
Based on Grass Valley's unique history, there are plenty of museums and landmarks for you to discover. The Empire Mine Historic State Park is one of the oldest, largest, and richest gold mines found in the state of California. The Del Oro Theatre is also the perfect place for those who enjoy history and art. Go on a tour, hike the surrounding trails, or have a fun-filled picnic — there's history all around!
If you're more of a foodie, you will be delighted by the selection of eateries and restaurants. In the mood for a burger? Locals love Pine Street Burgers when they feel like a quality, hearty meal. If you enjoy a bit spice, Diego's Restaurant and Maria's Mexican Restaurant are sure to please. Whether you feel like a casual lunch or a fine dining evening meal, Grass Valley has it all.
If you feel like checking out the nearby Nevada City, you will be welcomed by culture, art, outdoor recreation, history, and so much more. For those who love to shop, you're in for a treat! The downtown shopping district offers unique clothing, handmade jewelry, home products, wine, gifts, and the list goes on. The bookstores in Nevada City, as well as the bookstores in Grass Valley, have also earned this area a rare "Booktown USA" designation. There is also the Seven Hills Business District, located just a half-mile south of downtown Nevada City.
When traveling to Grass Valley, California, be prepared to feel relaxed and rejuvenated. Although there are plenty of nearby attractions, shops, and restaurants, you will never be far from nature. With plenty of famous annual events, no matter when you travel, there is something going on. Regardless of your itinerary, there are hotels and inns to meet every traveler's need and budget. Whether you're looking for luxury or value, this beautiful city has you covered. Sip your wine and take in the scenery — Grass Valley is waiting for you.
FAQs about hotels in Grass Valley
How much does a cheap hotel in Grass Valley cost per night?
In the last year, a 2 star hotel in Grass Valley can be as cheap as $98.24 per night. (based on HotelPlanner prices)
How much does a 3 star hotel in Grass Valley cost per night?
In the last year, the average 3 star hotel in Grass Valley has been $175.09 per night. (based on HotelPlanner prices)
How much does a 4-5 star hotel in Grass Valley cost?
In the last year, the average 4 star hotel in Grass Valley has been $222.50 per night. (based on HotelPlanner prices)
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A peel-and-stick vinyl wall tile backsplash is an excellent way to add a new look to your kitchen. Also, be sure to understand the sizing of each tile. A peel-and-stick vinyl wall tile backsplash is very easy to install. Once you have removed the protective backing, you simply peel off the tile and place it in place. You can plan your layout and identify obstacles by placing the full row of tiles first. Once you’ve placed the full row of tiles, you can decide where to place the half tiles. If you’re using partial tiles, you’ll want to place them in discrete locations where the pattern can’t be discerned. You can cut the pieces in such a way that you’ll be able to easily see the difference between the two tiles.
While a peel-and-stick tile backsplash can be a great option for temporary applications, it can quickly become a tripping hazard. It can be difficult to remove, especially if you’ve never used it before. To install a backsplash, you should first measure the area where you’ll be laying it before laying it down. A good guideline is to measure at least six inches from the wall, as this will ensure that the backsplash will adhere properly. Because it’s so easy to install, a peel-and-stick backsplash is an excellent choice for temporary installations. Renters often choose it because it can be easily removed, which is useful if they’d like to change the decor of their kitchen or bathroom. When installed correctly, however, a peel-and-stick tile can last for many years. There’s no grout or drying time needed to apply the backsplash, which is ideal if you’re renting your home.
They can be applied to the entire backsplash or just part of it. The tiles are easy to apply and are made of durable vinyl that will not discolor over time. They are also easy to clean. The downside to these tiles is that you should take extra care to avoid scratching or damaging the surface. There are many advantages to using a peel and stick vinyl wall tile backsplash. For one, they do not need grouting, and they don’t yellow over time. Another benefit is that you can install them over existing tiles or concrete walls. But be careful not to get a cheap product as it will look cheap and unattractive. It will be difficult to grout these three-dimensional tiles, and you may have to spend more time cleaning them afterward. There are several disadvantages to a peel and stick vinyl wall tile backsplash, but the most noticeable one is that it will take up more space than it was intended to. They will also tend to break easily, and they won’t fit the pattern you want. To avoid this, you should always buy a tile that has a pre-applied adhesive.
A peel-and-stick backsplash is a great choice for temporary applications. It can be removed and reused easily. Because the tile is not permanent, it’s easy to remove and move. It can be placed on countertops, walls, and even ceilings. Unlike traditional tiles, peel-and-stick tiles don’t need grouting. While you don’t need special skills to install a peel-and-stick tile backsplash, it’s important to be aware that the adhesive used to hold the tile on the wall is not permanent. After installation, the tile will perfectly adhere to the wall.
A peel-and-stick tile backsplash is a great way to create a new look in a kitchen. The adhesive is designed to adhere to a wall and is easy to remove if you need to remove it. Because the tile is not adhesive, you don’t need to worry about the adhesive sticking to the wall. A peel-and-stick backsplash is a great option for those with limited skills. You’ll save money by avoiding demolition and dry-layout time. Moreover, you’ll be able to see how your panels will look before you start installing them.
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https://www.hournewsmag.com/install-peel-and-stick-vinyl-wall-tile-backsplash-make-your-place-cozy/
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2023-09-29T22:43:16Z
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|
I had to pinch myself many times on the way over to Chengdu, China. I’m half Chinese, so I’ve always been drawn to that side of the world. I’ve also always dreamed of doing work there. While I’ve been lucky enough to work with many Chinese clients here in Vancouver, it wasn’t until recently that I landed an amazing penthouse project located in the city of Chengdu.
Through work, as well as traveling with my husband, I’ve had a chance to visit Beijing, Shanghai (it’s one of my favorite cities on Earth) and Dalian. I hadn’t even heard of Chengdu until I was approached to work there and I’m so happy I got a chance to see the city because it’s absolutely incredible!
NARROW ALLEY MARKET
I was only in Chengdu for about 4 days but there were still so many highlight moments during the trip, I couldn’t possibly recount all of them here! I do have to say that one stand-out experience was seeing the Narrow Alley market.
We navigated old, but pristine streets, that were lined with old, traditional Chinese architecture, beautiful shops and never-ending kiosks of street food. The market was so lively and full of people! It literally felt like everywhere you turned, there was something new to experience.
ARCHITECTURE AND DESIGN
As an interior designer I love seeing unique pieces of architecture and design, like traditional doors, door knockers, furniture, and art. It felt like we were surrounded by hidden treasures all around us while we were at the market and it was so interesting to experience objects and food that I had never seen before!
My client took us to her favorite spot for an afternoon tea before dinner. We literally sat in a small and cozy treehouse while a women poured us green tea local to the area. In was delicious and the environment was so calming and relaxing!
DAY FULL OF ACTIVITIES
After a full afternoon at the market, we headed to dinner for our first hot pot experience. If you EVER get the chance to go to Chengdu, you MUST try Sichuan hot pot. It was so delicious that now when I hear the words “hot pot” my mouth literally starts to salivate!
Next up was checking out the Panda Research and Breeding Center in Chengdu. This is home to many captive giant pandas, and since most pandas don’t frequently breed in the wild, it is a center for raising their babies as a way to help boost their wild population.
I’ve never seen a panda up close, and boy, they were so cuuuuuuute!! We spent almost 4 hours at the center just staring and watching them eat pounds and pounds of bamboo (they eat so much because they only retain a small percentage of what they eat) and baby pandas play and sleep in trees. It was one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen!
CHENGDU ON YOUTUBE
If you want to see more about Chengu, make sure you check out my YouTube channel and watch all the videos to see the full experience.
As always, I hope you enjoyed this post and thanks for stopping by!
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2023-09-30T00:47:16Z
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Following are statements from Houston Texans Chairman/CEO Bob McNair, who spoke to reporters on a conference call Thursday evening regarding the NFL labor situation.
(Opening statement) "I'm pleased to report that the definitive agreement that we've negotiated with the union, the owners approved it today by a vote of 31, with one abstention, and I'm quite pleased. It's a 10-year agreement. It deals with a number of issues that I think are important to us and important to the players and it will be for a 16-game season. The players were not ready to look at an 18-game season. We'd said all along we weren't going to try to go to 18 games without player approval, and so that was the case.
"In terms of some of the offseason work, that will be reduced. We've addressed a number of the health and safety issues, so all in all, I think we have something that gives a lot to the players and at the same time, gives us some of the things that we needed, so we've got a business model that we think will work for the next 10 years and we're excited about it. We're sorry that our fans had to go through this whole process with us, but unfortunately, that's just part of the deal. We're anxious to get our players back in and get them on the field and start an exciting season."
(on the salary cap and the salary floor under the new Collective Bargaining Agreement) "The salary cap is $142.4 and the floor changes over time, but basically it's about 95 percent of the cap is what it will average, so everybody will be pretty much in the same pay range."
(on whether he expects the Texans players to be in the team's facility on Saturday) "I think that the players would come in probably about three days after the union has approved the deal and signed off on it, so probably sometime next week, but it all hinges on when the union approves it, so we're waiting on them."
(on when free agency begins and whether the roster size will increase) "We didn't get into the roster limit at this point in time, but what we will be doing is next week, probably sometime during next week, we'll start signing college draft picks that we've made and our own unrestricted free agents, and then it will be after that that the regular free agency will open up. (Texans senior director of media relations) Kevin (Cooper) has got the calendar, so what you've got to do is just look at the calendar, and the starting time is when the union signs. That's when the clock starts, so until they do that, the clock won't start, but hopefully the whole process will be starting next week."
(on if the whole process was worth it and if he felt like the owners did well in the negotiation process) "There were a lot of things we needed addressed and many of them did get addressed. We didn't get everything we wanted and the players didn't get everything they wanted. We got enough modifications in there so that we have a business model that will work for the next ten years. It's set up so that there's incentive for us to go ahead and invest in the teams, invest in the stadiums and those are the things we have to do to keep an attractive game for our fans. They want to be in a nice environment; they need nice facilities, nice venues in order to do that."
(on if there is lingering resentment between the players and owners, given some of the things said by both sides during the lockout) "I think you just don't pay attention to that. I don't pay any attention to it and I hope the players don't. We're looking forward to seeing our players. I've missed them and I know they miss being in our facility. I think everybody will be quite happy that we're all back at work."
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https://www.houstontexans.com/news/conference-call-texans-chairman-ceo-mcnair-on-cba-5183108
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2023-09-29T22:50:11Z
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You will reveal a full new universe together with your Mexican loved one. In this nation, there’s one of several highest amounts of intermarriages, and most of them are among Filipino women and American males (25. 6% of all intermarriages). Filipino girls are often established mail order bride for instance a of the most beautiful, friendliest, available, family-minded, tolerant, and patient females to marry. International relationships can really last, but it surely is decided with a few pieces, together with intelligence of the potential problems.
- The search filters happen to be efficient, and search simply by age, training, habits, nationality, relationship position, religion, and more.
- Another part of our looking at system depends on us delving deeper into the options and figuring out if there’s a premium hidden behind them.
- LatamDate is normally amongst the the best and legit bride sites with an unlimited consumer bottom of Latino ladies, a modern day interface, and versatile payment options.
- Latin America is popular for its unbelievable girls with spicy character and beautiful appearance.
Colombian young women don’t arranged any casings for their guys, but additionally they want freedom, actually being in relationships and marriage. Firstly, in case you are looking for a strong, confident, but very female Latin woman, Uruguay could also be an excellent alternative suitable for you. The girls from this nation have all these attributes combined, thus, making them a great substitute for a long-term relationship or marriage. Whilst it is fairly one common trait designed for Latinas, ladies using this nation are also not envious, which allows them stand above the squadra.
Best Approaches to Find A Partner From An alternative Nation
The safety of this submit order brides service cannot be questioned in any respect, as users are afflicted by rigorous scrutiny and safety by various levels. The safety and security procedures start possibly because the person prepares to join up. The user bottom part out there around the platform can be small in comparability along with the competition, nevertheless this facilitates the group to focus on everyone. Everything is completed in a user-friendly means, so it won’t take a whole lot time to understand how the platform performs.
You can add extra tons of with regards to on-line and offline symbolizes. So is usually the riddle of Latin young girls, men by all regions of the world faint about them. Traveling to Mexico cannot give you a guarantee that you’ll satisfy your most suitable mail buy Mexican star of the wedding, however you will definitely waste a lot of your money and time. I bought married to my highschool sweetheart and I began children. I was within my second twelve months of college while i had my personal son and all the things after that became a snowball affect.
Asiansingles—a Leading Program Of Oriental Ladies On the internet Dating
That they allow you to stay away from typical flaws males typically produce in romances with these kinds of singles. Inevitably, the choice among online courting and a romance tour is dependent upon individual choices, finances, and desired volume of involvement. On-line relationship provides a useful and attainable approach to join with potential female friends, with around monthly costs of $135.
Use Connection Tools
However they have a knack designed for turning any kind of language screen right into a humor present. Responding to the problem of ideal the best Latina nation to discover a spouse, many males might reply that it must be Mexico. And according to RapidVisa, this kind of nation proudly secured their spot while number 5 within the Top20 Countries meant for K-1 Visa for australia Issuances. The alternative of one of the best nationality to marry depends only on your relationship objectives, morals, the type of character you’re in search of, plus your preferences. Your girlfriend shall be shower properly for any exercise, even for attractive some caffeine from the best coffee store. Do not get concerned, it is not the declaration of flirting motives; it’s just how she feels and lives. The really worth of the set up is well balanced along with the regular of company you receive instead.
That is additionally as a result of how understanding and down to earth these kinds of women happen to be, making sure the partners are ın no way overburdened. A greater inhabitants means greater possibilities to meet To the south American gals for relationship. The personal traits of the brides to be and their direction to the marriage life tend not to change to find the placement of residence when the best place to locate a spouse. Personally, i suggest you focus on Mexico, Brazil, and Colombia because you’ll find a lot of gals from these countries in relationship websites.
Best Sites 2023 To look for Latin Significant other
If you would have this internal spark and power to always be at all times up for a brand new quest, then it may be the proper place for you. Community women don’t like lazy and dull guys who all by no means exit and just to use residence following work. In order to turn out to be section of the massive Asian family and connect with someone right now there, you should change into precisely the same as the locals. Irrespective of a lot of materials difficulties, these girls know how to forget about them and sincerely contain enjoyable, whether or not really there is a purpose for this or certainly not.
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|
2023-09-29T23:20:27Z
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VOLVO SPECIALTY COURSE
January 31, 2023
In this class, you will learn all it takes to make keys for Volvo vehicles. We will discuss keyed ignition, Transponder Keys, Remote Head Keys, Smart Prox. Keys and programming procedures.;
Demonstrations will be conducted with various Programmers as well as the Volvo Dealer Factory Software Tool.
Certificates are awarded to students after successful completion of this training course.
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https://www.hovkeys.com/events/volvo-specialty-course/
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2023-09-29T23:16:33Z
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What is your opinion on Human – Centered AI?
For the Human – Centered AI let’s say human at the center of AI is some sort of let’s say grounding this technical information that for many people might look something like “wow it’s quite magic”, but basically it is just bringing together pieces that each of us is living, some sort of digital background that we are living behind. I am doing this action of Facebook, I am buying this kind of stuff at the supermarket, I bought a flight ticket to came here in Paris for this workshop. All this kind of different pieces can be brought together in order to build our complete picture that at the moment is difficult, even for me to construct and to put together and also to make a sense of this kind of thing.
What would be your blue sky project in AI for Europe?
One challenging thing where we are starting investigating is to try to bring this kind of model where each individual in society collect some data and make sense of some data in order to bring on a common platform where each individual can make a collective intelligence, where my data may be used by the person that is near to me in order to create an intelligence, as I was saying, that can bring beneficial result for all the societies. This can be helping improving and making my own life better in terms of let’s say ecological food print, or let’s say the way that I can use my resources or my time, to improve social relationship and so on. It is a sort of meta collection of this individual data that can gives a new boost on the way we treat and sense our own data
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https://www.humane-ai.eu/rinzivillo-salvatore-research-isti-cnr/
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2023-09-30T00:23:38Z
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Updated: Mar 6, 2020
The Institute for the Advancement of Journalism (IAJ), South Africa's oldest and most trusted communications and journalism training institute, is constantly advancing towards being 4IR ready.
Abrahams-Smith is a longstanding member of the IAJ team she joined the organisation in 1993, during this time she headed the Community Radio Programme (CRTP), she was also involved with the School Camp programme as well as the gender awareness training. She took on the role of Executive Director in 2015 after working for over a decade in training and specialising in Community Radio training projects.
“The organisation is looking to explore opportunities led by the 4IR’s digital economy and the infusion of technologies,” says Abrahams-Smith.
The IAJ has 27 years of history in training journalists and communicators. Despite this history, the organisation is cognisant of the need to keep abreast of international trends.
“The IAJ is known for our reputable training and our longstanding passion for the media’s role in a democracy. We offer inter-active, blended learning with subject matter experts”. She goes on to add that “The IAJ has transcended traditional print and broadcast journalism and trains journalists and communicators across all media platforms,” said Abrahams-Smith.
The IAJ offers a variety of short courses to up-skill, early and mid-career journalists and communicators.
Abrahams-Smith details the IAJ’s values as working towards promoting professional standards, supporting and initiating training programmes which stimulate the development of sound news values and an appreciation of the key role of the media in democratic societies.
In 2020 the IAJ has for the first time embarked on the intake of ten learnership students to study towards an NQF journalism qualification. The IAJ has partnered with the Media, Information, Communications Technologies Sector Education and Training Authority (MICTSETA) for the one-year journalism programme. The learnership will be made up of five modules that include; writing, reporting and producing.
The IAJ has also committed to the intake of ten interns in 2020, to offer each an internship placement to gain the necessary work place experience in the field of media and journalism, both initiatives in the hope to contribute to the skills development and unemployment of the youth in South Africa. The interns have been placed at the IAJ offices, The National Association of Broadcasters (NAB), The Foundation for Human Rights, Media Monitoring Africa (MMA), Sunskills, Tshwane University of Technology (TUT FM) As well as at the National Electronic Media Institute of South Africa (NEMISA).
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2023-09-29T22:24:13Z
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The industry often relies on a click-through rate to measure the effectiveness of an email campaign. In talking to professionals even within the email industry however, I’m often surprised at how many people don’t understand the terms fully or use them incorrectly. Here I will overview the most common references.
Click Through Rate (CTR)
CTR is the measurement of the number of clicks on links within a given campaign divided by the number of recipients who were sent the campaign. Generally this is illustrated by a percentage. So, if you sent a campaign to 100,000 subscribers and record 1000 clicks then the CTR would be .01 or 1%. The problem is that while most in the industry refer to CTR as the core metric they tend not to disclose if the CTR is really the TCTR or the UCTR… which we will discuss next.
Total Click Through Rate (TCTR)
Within a specific campaign there may be multiple clicks for any given subscriber. If one subscriber clicks on links within the campaign more than once that would increase the TCTR as the TCTR is a measure of TOTAL clicks divided by subscribers. This happens more often than you think as a subscriber may click on the same link on multiple devices or may forward/share the link with other who also click on it. The TCTR is representative of the popularity of a campaign but it isn’t representative of the % of subscribers who engage.
Unique Click Through Rate (UCTR)
UCTR is a more representative number to reflect the number of subscribers who are engaging. It is calculated by looking at the total number of unique subscribers that clicked at least once on a link within the campaign and dividing that by the number of subscribers.
Click To Open Ratio (CTOR)
In this measurement we only want to measure the percentage of subscribers that OPENED the campaign that also clicked on a link. While CTR measurements take into account the effectiveness of both the subject line and the email copy, the CTOR tends to focus only on the email copy’s success in driving the user to click. This can be an effective number to look at as it removes factors that can diminish CTR like a recent successful opt-in campaign that has dramatically increased subscribers that may not be as prone to click as subscribers that have been on the list for a period of time.
The most common mistake I find in the industry is people calculating the CTR using CTOR numbers. Perhaps this is because they like the sounds of the higher percentage points… but that isn’t the correct use of the term.
To learn more about the metrics used by Interspire Email Marketer in the stats dashboard please refer to our previous article about understanding the IEM stats.
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2023-09-30T00:50:13Z
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National Indigenous Fashion Awards (NIFA)
Celebrating the innovation of Australia’s First Nations peoples in fashion and textiles, the National Indigenous Fashion Awards (NIFA) are proudly presented by the Darwin Aboriginal Art Fair Foundation’s (DAAFF) Indigenous Fashion Projects (IFP).
The NIFA provide a vibrant and exciting platform to celebrate the innovation, diversity and ethical practices of Australia’s First Nations peoples in fashion and textiles, whilst contributing to the capacity building of the sector.
Recognising and showcasing excellence across six categories, the award ceremony is a unique opportunity for the Australian and international fashion community to connect to the world’s oldest living cultures.
The prestigious awards include the:
- Traditional Adornment Award, supported by the Northern Territory Government
- Community Collaboration Award, supported by Canberra Centre
- Business Achievement Award, supported by Darwin Aboriginal Art Fair Foundation
- Textile Design Award, supported by RMIT
- Wearable Art Award, supported by Robina Town Centre
- Fashion Designer Award, supported by Country Road
Save the date: Wednesday, 9 August 2023
Head to the website below for details.
Winner of the 2020 Fashion Design NIFA, Julie Shaw with models Charlee Fraser and Billie-Jean Hamlet, wearing MAARA Collective. Photo by Georges Antoni for marie claire.
Banner image featuring Arawunikiri, a double sided spear used in ceremony, textile design by Bede Tungutulum, Winner of the 2020 Special Recognicion NIFA, photo by Georges Antoni for marie claire.
Image | Shaneiva wears Gumnut Gown by Paul McCann, winner of the 2021 Cultural Adornment & Wearable Art NIFA, National Indigenous Fashion Awards photoshoot with marie claire Australia, 2021, photo by Tristan Stefan Edouard. Celebrating innovation, diversity and...
Headed up by Yuwaalaraay creative director Julie Shaw, Maara Collective’s luxurious resort wear is informed by a deep connection to community. Julie’s brand honours collaboration in the creative processes, with “maara” translating to “hands” in the Yuwaalaraay and...
Nominations are NOW OPEN for the National Indigenous Fashion Awards (NIFA) 2021 Who will you nominate this year? DAAFF's Indigenous Fashion Projects (IFP) is thrilled to invite you to nominate for this year's National Indigenous Fashion Awards! Launched in 2020, the...
Watch the NIFA
The NIFA 2022
The NIFA 2021
The NIFA 2020
The National Indigenous Fashion Awards (NIFA) 2023 are proudly presented by the Darwin Aboriginal Art Fair Foundation’s (DAAFF) Indigenous Fashion Projects (IFP), and supported by the Northern Territory Government. With thanks to our Principal Media Partner NITV, Media Partner marie claire, Showcase Partner QIC, Darwin Festival, and award partners Country Road, NTG, RMIT, Canberra Centre, Robina Town Centre and Darwin Aboriginal Art Fair Foundation.
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2023-09-29T22:51:17Z
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Nottingham Forest Full Season Subscription 2023-24
Never miss an edition of Nottingham Forest’s cherished ‘Forest Review’ publication by reserving your copy of the official matchday programme for every league fixture with a seasonal subscription.
This full season package covers Forest’s 19 home Premier League fixtures during the 2023/24 campaign but subscribers will only pay for 18 editions, meaning this is the cheapest way of getting the official word from your beloved club if you can’t get to the City Ground on matchdays.
All of the oversize A5 68-page perfect-bound issues will be produced to a schedule that allows for a first-class mail out on a Friday before a weekend fixture, with midweek editions despatched on the day of the game. Subscribers should allow three working days to receive their orders via Royal Mail as this is not a pre-event service.
The price for this full subscription package is £95, inclusive of postage to the United Kingdom and Ireland. This collection does not include any additional domestic cup matches, which must be purchased separately.
Supporters can sign up to the subscription package at any point in the season and still receive all back editions.
Please note that this package is not available for supporters based Overseas.
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2023-09-29T23:47:26Z
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IIFA Full Trading Members Woodland Ireland Ltd announced this week that they have successfully passed their AEO assessment through Irish Revenue and Customs.
AEO is an internationally recognised status that shows the company is established to have a safe and secure role in international supply chains and that its customs controls and standards are of a high quality.
Kevin Brady, Managing Director of Woodland Ireland, praised the work of this Colleagues as part of the process; “Our Customs Team has gone from strength to strength, offering consultancy and management services to support our Clients through regulatory processes. Recent political and related changes in processes have increased demands on the team and gaining the AEO status was key for us at this point to assure regulators and our Customers of the quality solutions our expert team delivers and will be able to support Clients with as we build future Supply Chains.”
AEO is voluntary accreditation which requires a Business to go through an in-depth auditing process and includes a visit by a National Customs Authority in order to perform a thorough evaluation of the Business as part of this process.
AEO within the Irish Freight Forwarding and Customs Brokerage industry
As of 12th May 2021, there are 284 AEO Holders operating within the Republic of Ireland Freight Forwarding, Logistics and Customs Brokerage industries, with the IIFA Membership representing 23% of that total number.
AEO Status can bring the Holder various benefits throughout their operations, such as priority treatment if selected for control and it improves access to further Customs Simplification applications. One new benefit to be introduced in the future is prior notification of selection for control for pre-lodged Declarations. This latest benefit is facilitated through Revenue Custom’s new AIS (Automated Import System) interface and will be available to AEO Holders, and therefore the Clients they serve, in the near future.
Further information on AEO Status, its benefits and the application process can be found on Revenue Custom's website by clicking here.
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2023-09-29T23:52:00Z
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Feeling Insecure? Walking the tightrope of India’s LPG subsidies, energy access and energy security
In 2015, nearly 780 million people, or more than 60 per cent of the Indian population, did not have access to clean cooking. Like many countries, the Government of India has attempted to address this by subsidizing liquefied petroleum gas (LPG).
Subsidies have promoted LPG among the poor—but continue to be used by the large middle-class population too, thereby increasing overall LPG consumption and subsidy costs. As consumption grows, India relies more and more on imported LPG, which poses important questions about energy security.
What are the energy security risks of a growing reliance on LPG? What role do subsidies play? And what can countries like India do to mitigate energy security concerns without compromising energy access?
India’s LPG subsidies
For many years, the Government of India has provided LPG consumption subsidies for all households, most recently through the PAHAL policy, where a cash subsidy is directly transferred to the bank account of consumers.
In May 2016, driven by SDG 7 on clean energy access, the government decided to offer additional subsidies to help poor consumers afford the up-front costs of switching to LPG, through the Pradhan Mantri Ujjwala Yojna (PMUY) scheme. From May 2016 to April 2018, 36 million households received a subsidized LPG connection. PMUY has now been expanded to target 80 million households.
Concerned by the high cost of LPG subsidies, the government encouraged richer households to voluntarily give up the consumption subsidy via the Give it Up campaign. It claims that about 11 million households (approximately 6% of consumers) gave up LPG. The long-term impacts, however, may be smaller than this: households can reclaim the LPG subsidy after one year and around 100,000 have reclaimed the subsidy as of April 2017, due to increasing LPG prices.
In early 2017, the government also mandatorily unsubscribed taxpayers earning more than INR 1 million (USD 15,000) per year from consumer subsidies. However, as the number of people paying tax in India is very low (estimated to be between 1.5 per cent and 3 per cent of the total population), this had a limited impact.
All together, these measures have marginally improved the targeting performance of consumption subsidies, while increasing the LPG consumer base to around 170 million households.
What are the energy security risks of India’s growing LPG consumption?
Growing LPG imports and impacts on the balance of trade
There is an increasing gap between India’s domestic production and consumption of LPG. In June 2018, it was about 0.8 million tonnes—which must be bridged by LPG imports.
As illustrated in the figure below, the volume of imports has grown five times from 2008/09 to 2017/18. In late 2017, India became the second largest LPG importer, overtaking Japan. The value of LPG-related foreign exchange outflow is estimated to reach USD 5.6 billion in 2017/18 (provisional numbers), contributing to around 6.5 per cent of the total trade deficit of USD 87 billion.
A high trade deficit is a drain on foreign exchange and leads to current account deficits. The country needs to borrow more to fund its infrastructure and social spending, thereby incurring international debt. A high trade deficit also builds pressure to devalue the local currency. While a trade deficit may be essential to driving economic growth, especially in emerging economies like India, unnecessary consumption of imported products should be avoided: these resources could be better invested in the domestic economy.
LPG price volatility brings in additional risk. The annual average import price of LPG for India was lowest at USD 430 per tonne in 2016/17 and highest at USD 964 per tonne in 2011/12. This variation—more than 100 per cent—directly affects the LPG import bill, with consequences for the outflow of resources, and makes it hard to control government expenditure on subsidies. The depreciating rupee may add further problems to controlling the outflow of foreign exchange.
Currently, LPG prices are again on an upward trend, having reached around USD 514 per tonne in 2017/18. In Delhi, the subsidized price of an LPG cylinder has increased from INR 524 (USD 7.6) in August 2017 to an all-time high of INR 789.50 (USD 11.5) in August 2018 for a 14.2 kg cylinder. This has created widespread agitation for lower prices, pressuring the government to further increase the subsidy.
Increasing supply insecurity
India imports most of its LPG from Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Iran and United Arab Emirates in the Middle East, a region with high geopolitical risks. A U.S.–Gulf Cooperation Council-led diplomatic and economic blockade of Qatar in 2017 is a reminder of the risk of a sudden disruption in supply, which can cause price shocks and shortages. The re-imposing of U.S.-led sanctions on Iran may also be the beginning of the end of supply of Iranian LPG, as the United States is pressurizing India to cut imports.
Additional infrastructure requirements
Increasing imports of LPG will require large investments in ships, receiving and storage terminals, and refilling and bottling plants. Already in the planning stages are a 1.5-million-tonne-per-year terminal at Haldia (Aegis Logistics), a 3.5-million-tonne-per-year terminal at Mundra (Adani) and a 1.5-million-tonne-per-year terminal (BPCL) and LPG receiving terminals at Kochi and Paradip (IOC). Expansion of domestic potential refineries at Vadodara and Panipat (IOC), Visakhapatnam and Barmer (HPCL), and at Jamnagar (Reliance) is also in the cards. This infrastructure expansion requires billions of dollars of public and private investments. Further, the government will need to continue efforts to promote a network of distributors for last-mile connectivity of LPG to remote areas.
What measures can be taken to mitigate risks?
Improving the targeting of LPG subsidies is an important strategy. Aggregate LPG subsidies have almost been halved between 2013/14 and 2017/18. This has been mainly due to lower global oil prices. The axing of high-income consumers from the subsidy scheme and the reduction of leakages have also played a positive role.
The government has also tried to reduce the per-unit consumption subsidy for LPG. In July 2017, the petroleum minister announced that the subsidy would be reduced by INR 4 per month until it was completely eliminated, or until March 2018, whichever came first. However, this approach led to concerns that it would negatively affect energy access. In December 2017, it was ultimately suspended. The subsidy component on each cylinder has once again started growing with rising international LPG prices.
Supply risks can be partly mitigated by diversifying the sources of supply. Although some countries such as the United States (which commenced LPG shipments to India in late 2017) and Australia have the potential to supply LPG, the higher cost of transportation to the Indian market will increase the average price of imports.
Finally, impacts can be reduced by promoting a diverse range of clean cooking fuels. Given the limited options for low-income consumers, this may need to include a focus on shifting higher-income households to alternative cooking technologies. The Draft National Energy Policy acknowledges that solutions such as electricity, induction stoves and biogas have not seriously been considered as cooking fuel options—and that a joint, strategic approach to a National Mission on Clean Cooking is sorely needed.
Like other countries, progress on clean cooking in India has straggled for many years. India’s recent efforts to support LPG consumption among the poor has dramatically increased the number of consumers—but it also brings into perspective important questions about subsidy efficiency and the security of supply. Energy access is a priority, but if solutions are going to be sustained they must be insulated against fiscal pressure, price volatility and supply risks, or poor consumers will be the first to suffer.
Simultaneously balancing concerns about subsidies, energy access and energy security—in a period of rising prices and falling affordability—will indeed be a tightrope walk for the Government of India in the months and years to come.
Kapil Narula is a Senior Researcher at the Institute for Environmental Sciences (ISE), University of Geneva. He is a former Indian naval officer who is trained as an electrical engineer, development economist, and an energy and sustainability professional. Kapil’s PhD thesis was titled Sustainable Energy Security for India and quantitively assessed India’s energy system while focusing on policy measures for its transition. His seventh book, titled The Maritime Dimension of Sustainable Energy Security was recently published by Springer.
Christopher Beaton is a Senior Policy Advisor with IISD’s Global Subsidies Initiative (GSI) and the lead of its program of work in India. His recent projects include assessments of energy subsidies for fossil fuels and renewable energy in India and the exploration of how fossil fuel subsidies can be shifted to support more sustainable energy systems.
For more information about India’s energy subsidies, see the IISD report India’s Energy Transition: Mapping Subsidies to Fossil Fuels and Clean Energy in India
Data for this table is drawn from Petroleum Planning & Analysis Cell’s (PPAC) Data for Crude and Products – Quantity and Data for Crude and Products – Value in Dollars.
Subsidy data in this figure is reported directly from the Petroleum Planning and Analysis Cell (PPAC) data on Under-Recoveries to Oil Marketing Companies (OMCs) on Sale of Sensitive Petroleum Products and Fiscal Subsidy on Public Distribution System (PDS) Kerosene and Domestic LPG.
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NOW’S THE TIME TO CONSIDER GRAIN ENTRAPMENT TRAINING
Many of our rural first responders are farmers as well. That makes winter a good down time to be thinking about additional training to help save lives in the future.
IL Corn, together with the Grain and Feed Association of Illinois and the Illinois Fire Institute, has worked on changes to the grain entrapment training process that make training local volunteer fire departments more manageable and affordable.
The training will now be an extremely effective 40 hours instead of 96 hours. Included in the 40 hours are 8 hours of lecture and 32 hours of hands-on experience.
Volunteer fire departments will be able to participate and be trained while only giving up two weekends of their time. Since many of the firefighters are volunteers, this change is extremely important.
The new training program is recognized and approved on a national platform.
Additionally, to offset the cost for small communities and volunteers, IL Corn Marketing Board is considering opportunities to fund individuals interested in completing the certification. The total cost to participate is $1,000.
The new training program follows IL Corn’s efforts to map the locations of grain rescue tubes available throughout the state. We hope to provide resources to make finding the nearest rescue tube easy and effective, in addition to helping volunteers use the rescue tubes effectively.
Ultimately, the goal is always to save lives.
According to the Illinois Fire Service Institute, there have been 900 grain bin entrapments nationwide in the past 50 years. The ages of those trapped are typically 12-18 years and over 55 years old.
Sixty percent of grain bin entrapment deaths are related to untrained rescuers and about 50 percent of the fatalities occur after the rescue has begun.
The first pilot training course will be held in January 2017 at Asmark in Bloomington.
You can read more about this program at Illinois Fire Service Institute here.
Photo courtesy of Illinois Fire Service Institute
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This Illinois Fire Chiefs Association offers many classes to our members that do not lead to a Certification with OSFM.
Check back regularly for more classes
Beyond Hoses and Helmets
Presented by the IAFC Volunteer and Combination Officers Section and in cooperation with the Illinois Fire Chiefs Volunteer Combination Officer Committee. BH&H is an interactive workshop presenting current successful techniques on retaining, recruiting, leading, marketing, building relationships and conflict resolution. Click here for more information and registration.
- Harlem-Roscoe FPD September 23-24, 2023
Officer Development Classes
The Illinois Fire Chiefs Association offers a one- or two-day program of Officer Development of programs in leadership and the support tools to grow an organization for a safe and successful future. This program offers topics necessary for a new company officer and refresher for a veteran officer.
Topics areas are selected by the host fire chief with feedback from the surrounding area fire chiefs to meet the needs of the officers from the area. The program can be scheduled in a one-day format (5 topics with a working lunch) or a two-day format (7-8 topics with breakfast and lunch format). For more information contact DC Tim Leidig, West Chicago FD, email@example.com
Current Classes Scheduled
Bedford Park FD - October 7, 2023 -
Topics Team Building, Leadership for Fire Officers, Preparing for the Modern Fireground, Leading Tough Conversations - Coaching,
Counseling & Mentoring for Today’s Fire Service
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10th Class English Exam Preparation
As we all know, the 10th class board exams are approaching, and students are working their fingers to the bone to prepare better for them. It’s an opportunity for 10th class students to prove that they can score excellent marks in 10th board exams to boost their self-esteem and for better future prospects. All Punjab boards are conducting the 10th class board exam simultaneously. All 10th class students will be attempting the English board exam on 3rd April 2023. And students can prepare for their English board exam through our provided 10th class English exam preparation material. Students can find details further below on this page.
Why Our English Exam Preparation Material
It is highly recommended that 10th class students prepare for their English board exam through our provided English exam preparation material. Our preparation material can provide students with a structured approach to learning and comprehensive coverage of the subject topics. Our preparation material can help students manage their time effectively and ensure that they cover all the necessary topics before the exam. It can also provide students with a unique learning style and personalized learning experience tailored to students’ needs.
10th Class English Exam Preparation Material
Details about our preparation material are given below under the following headings and the can be accessed by clicking the links under the proper titles. Our preparation material includes
English 10th Class Pairing Scheme 2023
It is to be informed to students looking for 10th class English exam pairing scheme, we have provided the English pairing scheme of 10th class 2023 on this page. This paring scheme of English board exam is the same for all Punjab boards. Students can easily download this pairing scheme of English 10th class 2023 pdf file from this page. This pairing scheme is documented according to the official paper scheme of all Punjab boards. Students should start their English exam preparation according to this pairing scheme because it will give them an idea of how many and which type of questions can come in the exam and from which chapter too.
English 10th Class Guess Papers 2023
Students can also access the English 10th class guess papers from this page. These guess papers are important for your exams because they can help you prepare for your English exam more effectively by giving you a clear idea of the types of questions that are more likely to appear in the English board exam. These English guess papers for 10th class 2023 are designed to mimic the actual exam question papers and are also based on the previous year’s English question papers. Students should prepare from these guess papers because of the benefits like getting familiar with the exam pattern, helping you focus on important topics, practicing & revision and time management if you try to solve these guess papers within the time limit.
English 10th Class Online Test Session
Students can also try out our English 10th class online mcqs test session from this page. Students will be able to prepare for their English board exam through our chapter-wise online test session from the comfort of their homes. The 10th class online test session will be in form of mcqs and candidates will be allowed to solve them in limited time. By attempting these online mcqs tests, students will get familiar with the important components and topics of English subject. Students don’t have to join an expensive test session for their exam preparation, we are allowing students to attempt these online test for free.
English 10th Class Notes 2023
For the better preparation of 10th class students we have also uploaded the English 10th class notes on this page. These English notes contains all the important chapter-wise questions and topics for the 10th class students. These Important 10th class notes of English are available in both subjective and objective form. Students can definitely score decent marks in their 10th class English board exam if they prepare from these provided files. These notes have been prepared by our experienced teachers according to the English Punjab Board textbook. All students can download these English 10th class notes pdf from this page.
English 10th Class Video Lectures
Students can also access our English video lectures of 10th class from this page. These Free 10th Class Online Video Lectures 2023 have been arranged and recorded by our highly qualified teachers. Students can clear all their doubts before the English exam through these online lectures. These online English lectures are available chapters and topic-wise. If you prepare from these online lectures, we guarantee that you will be able to score way more than just average marks.
English 10th Class Past Papers
Another option for preparation for the English board exam is past paper. These 10th class English past papers 2023 are available for download in PDF form on this page. We have gathered all previous year’s English exam question papers, so you can try to solve them and assess your preparation for the exam. By reviewing these past papers, students can identify the areas where they might be lacking. Practicing past paper will also allow students to improve their time management skills. Overall, past papers are an invaluable tool for exam preparation, and students who use them effectively are more likely to perform well in the annual board exam.
English 10th Class Short Questions
English 10th class important short questions 2023 are also accessible for students to prepare better for their English board exam. These chapter-wise English short question are available to download in the form of PDF file on this page. These English short questions are brief and concise and have been arranged by our qualified instructors. Candidates should prepare these short question fully as these short questions hold a great amount of marks in English board exams and are quicker to answer than long questions. By preparing these short question students will be able to cover more English Exam syllabus in less time.
University Of Management And Technology Umt Lahore
Punjab University PU Lahore
Punjab University College Of Information Technology Lahore
Allama Iqbal Open University Aiou Islamabad
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Here are some best free EPUB validator software to verify eBooks on Windows. With these software, you can verify EPUB files for various errors and warnings. Those errors can be related to anything such as invalid referenced resources, CSS selectors, not readable title, misplaced name spaces, missing attributes, text at not allowed places, and some others. You just give these tools an EPUB file and they will show you the validation results.
If you usually create or publish eBooks then you should validate them before distributing. Since manually doing that will take a lot of time, so you can take help of some free tools. And here I have mentioned some which can be used on Windows and other platforms such as MAC and Linux. You just specify an EPUB file and then just let these software take care of the rest.
In this post, I have added a command line tool as well that you can use to validate EPUB files. The advantage of command line tools is that you can create a batch file to validate multiple files. There is a popular EPUB checker out there that you can use that as well and that is online and you can access that here.
3 Free Epub Validator Software to Verify eBooks on Windows:
pagina EPUB-Checker is one of the best free EPUB validator software available right now. Here this is an open source software that comes with a simple interface. You just give it an eBook and then it will analyze that for you. It lists all the errors on its main interface and then you can analyze them and simply take further steps to resolve them. It uses the legendary “epubcheck” under the hood to test a given eBook file and show you most common type of errors and and warnings.
You can download this software from above and then start using it right away. It is a portable software available for Window, MAC and Linux. After you have downloaded it, you can start using right away. Open it up and load an EPUB file and start the validation process. Just give it sometime while its scanning the eBook for you and it will list all the potential error and warning on its main interface and you can analyze them. However, here you can only see the list of errors but you cannot fix them.
ePUB Validator is another free software you can use to validate eBook files on your Windows PC. This is an extremely simple software to check EPUB files on your PC in easy way. This comes with a minimal interface where you just give it a file and it will list errors and warnings. It checks EPUB file for small warnings and errors as well and you will like this tool for is simplicity. However, just like the software above, it can only list the possible errors from the eBook file. You cannot fix them; you will have to do that manually or take help of an expert.
Get this simple software from above and then simply open it up. Browse the eBook file you want to check with this tool and then hit the “Validate” button. It will then start analyzing the given EPUB file and then it will list all the errors answering on its interface. If you want then you can copy the scan result and do anything that you want with that.
EpubTool is a command line tool to validate EPUB files with ease. Here with this command line tool, you can unpack an eBook, pack an eBook, get OPF from eBook, and of course validate it as well. There is a very simple command to validate an EBook with this tool. It analyzes the given eBook thoroughly and lists all the possible warnings and errors on the command prompt or terminal window. This is a cross platform tool you can run it from Linux and MAC terminal as well. It can list minor as well as some obvious errors from an eBook and then you can fix them.
Using this tool on any platform is very simple. There are no dependency or external tools you need to use it. There are its precompiled binaries available that you can download for your platform.
After you have downloaded the binary for your platform, just put the eBook you want to validate in the same folder. Also, for the simplicity, you can rename the file name of the EXE file as well. After that, just run the command in the following syntax and wait for it to analyze the eBook. You can see the screenshot below to see how it works.
epubtool v eBookName
Above you can see the errors and warning that it listed in my case. In this way, you can use this too anytime to validate any eBook in EPUB format anytime. You just give an eBook to this tool and then see the validation result. And since, it is a command line tool so you can create a batch file to use it to validate multiple eBooks with ease.
These are the only free software that I could find to validate an eBook on Windows. Use these to quickly check any EPUB file and list all the possible errors. All these tools can help you easily verify any given EPUB file and some of them work on different platforms too. Personally, I will recommend you to go with EpubTool and pagina EPUB-Checker. And if you need an online tool to do the same then I have already mentioned one in the beginning.
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On the way to the new world – on board a German immigrant shipr2WPadmin2018-08-07T22:35:43+00:00
On the way to the new world - on board a German immigrant ship
On the way to the new world – on board a German immigrant ship, woodcut, 1849
This project is sponsored by the Transatlantic Program of the Government of the Federal Republic of Germany through funds of the European Recovery Program (ERP) of the Federal Ministry of Economics and Technology.
Disclaimer: Visitor traffic is tracked using Google Analytics
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2023-09-29T23:21:16Z
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The purchase of a home is often the biggest financial commitment that a person makes – yet it is surprising how many buyers go into such transactions with minimal preparation and without the information that will enable them to negotiate a satisfactory price, says Tony Clarke, Managing Director of the Rawson Property Group.
“As a start,” he said, the potential buyer should find out all he can about the property he is intending to buy, i.e. a great deal more than the information usually supplied on the sales brochure. He must then familiarize himself with the prices of homes in the same area that are comparable in size, quality and features.
“It may well happen that, being new to the market, the potential buyer will have to rely on a reputable estate agent to give him this information. All agents should be able to produce a comprehensive comparative market analysis – if they cannot, it indicates that they are not true professionals. If possible, more than one agent’s market analysis should be called for.”
Once the price structure of the homes in the area has been understood by the potential buyer, he should, said Clarke, try to find out why the seller is moving.
“This information can greatly strengthen the buyer’s negotiating powers. If, for example, he knows that the seller has to move soon to another town to take on a new job or if he knows the seller needs cash urgently, the buyer’s bargaining position can be greatly strengthened. Similarly, if the house is tenanted and the seller knows when the lease will expire, this information may enable him to negotiate a better price.”
Clarke advised buyers to check the zoning of the property they are contemplating buying and to make diligent enquiries as to whether major developments are likely to take place there. If this is the case, he said, the exact nature and size should be clarified. Enquiries should also be made to find out if the local authorities have plans for the development of amenities in the area.
“New developments and new amenities can be either beneficial or detrimental to property values,” said Clarke. “It is important to ascertain what form they will take if they are planned.”
Clarke said too (as he has done previously), that although national and regional sales statistics can be very helpful, buyers must recognize that they may not be applicable to certain areas.
“One of the discernible trends to become evident in the downturn,” he said, “has been that certain niche markets have the ability to ‘buck the trend’ and maintain their value to a greater or lesser degree. Although scepticism is always advisable, if an agent claims that his area is outperforming others, this may well be true – and such areas tend to be highly suitable for investment.”
Once the buyer has decided to make an offer for a home, he should, said Clarke, not overplay his hand.
“We have seen instances where the buyer’s offer was so low as to be ridiculous. This can result in the seller refusing to discuss the matter any further and in some cases even to his withdrawing his property from the market. The first offer must, therefore, be realistic, even if it has slightly ‘cheeky’ undertones.”
Where more than one buyer is interested in purchasing a property, the seller and his agent can sometimes push them both to raise their prices up and up. In these cases, said Clarke, the buyer should know before he starts his bidding just how high he can go – and should not go above this limit.
If, however, he wants the house desperately and the seller for one or another reason refuses to accept his offers, it may be possible to negotiate a deal in which the seller’s price is accepted on condition that a range of improvements such as repainting, retiling or a garden improvement is undertaken by the seller at his cost and within a specified time.
This type of conditional deal, said Clarke, has often led to a successful sale – but it should be emphasized that the conditions must be in writing and must be so clear that there can be no arguments down the line.
Although house prices are improving, it has to be accepted, added Clarke, that the market is still slanted in favour of the buyer. Buyers should, therefore, not rush into decisions. In the distressed and repossessed property market, he said, the many bargain prices previously obtainable are now seen far less frequently and those hoping to make a killing here should take action fairly soon because the supply of these properties is slowing drying up.
Via Rawson Property Group
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With macOS Mojave and iOS 12, users can finally view website icons, or favicons, in tabs in Safari on either platform. While the look isn't as clean, favicons can be helpful if you're looking for a particular tab, especially helpful if you're like me and you've got at least a dozen tabs open at once on any given device.
The option is off by default on both macOS and iOS, so here's how you go about turning it on.
What are favicons?
Favicons are tiny icons that appear in tabs on most popular web browsers like Firefox and Google Chrome. However, up until now, you could only get favicons in Safari if you were using a pinned tab. Favicons are a useful way of quickly identifying your tabs, so rather than having to read out its name (one that might be hidden, in any case, depending on the number of tabs you have open), you have a definitive identification marker to look for. It good to see that Safari is finally adopting them in full.
How to view favicons in Safari tabs in iOS 12
- Open Settings on your iPhone or iPad.
- Tap Safari.
- Tap the switch next to Show Icons in Tabs.
How to view favicons in Safari tabs in macOS Mojave
- Open Safari from your Dock or Applications folder.
- Click Preferences in the Menu bar.
- Click Tabs.
- Click the box next to Show website icons in tabs.
If you have any more questions about using favicons in Safari on macOS Mojave or iOS 12? Let us know in the comments.
Master your iPhone in minutes
iMore offers spot-on advice and guidance from our team of experts, with decades of Apple device experience to lean on. Learn more with iMore!
Joseph Keller is the former Editor in Chief of iMore. An Apple user for almost 20 years, he spends his time learning the ins and outs of iOS and macOS, always finding ways of getting the most out of his iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, and Mac.
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Truist Financial Corp has announced that it has reduced its stake in Essential Utilities, Inc. by 26.4% in the first quarter. The financial corporation sold 6,682 shares of the company’s stock, leaving it with 18,607 shares. The value of Truist Financial Corp’s holdings in Essential Utilities was worth $812,000 as of its most recent filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission.
Other institutional investors have also made changes to their positions in Essential Utilities. Sterling Investment Advisors Ltd. increased its stake by 1.8% and now owns 40,444 shares of the company’s stock. EagleClaw Capital Managment LLC and Nordea Investment Management AB both increased their stakes by 8.1% and 57.8%, respectively. Deutsche Bank AG also boosted its stake by 16.1%, and Banque Cantonale Vaudoise increased its stake by 7.8% in the fourth quarter.
Shares of Essential Utilities opened at $36.99 on Wednesday and have a market capitalization of $9.78 billion. The stock has a price-to-earnings ratio of 21.02 and a beta of 0.77. Essential Utilities has a 12-month low of $36.36 and a 12-month high of $51.29.
Essential Utilities recently announced its quarterly earnings results, reporting $0.34 EPS for the quarter, which met analysts’ consensus estimates. However, the company’s quarterly revenue was down 2.7% compared to the same period last year.
The company has also increased its quarterly dividend from $0.29 to $0.3071 per share. The ex-dividend date is Thursday, August 10th, and the dividend will be paid on Friday, September 1st.
While the company has a consensus rating of “Hold” among analysts, some have rated the stock as a sell or a buy. MarketBeat.com reports that the average target price is $51.40.
In other news, President Colleen Arnold sold 1,244 shares of Essential Utilities stock, valued at approximately $52,048.96. This accounts for 0.18% of the company’s stock.
Essential Utilities, Inc. operates regulated utilities that provide water, wastewater, and natural gas services in the United States. The company operates through two segments: Regulated Water and Regulated Natural Gas. Essential Utilities offers water services through operating and maintenance contracts with municipal authorities and other parties.
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2023-09-30T00:53:50Z
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Hygiene & Cleaning - Meeting Demand through Innovation
A combination of high performance characteristics and the ability to meet the requirements of both regulatory authorities and retailers ensures nonwovens continue to play a leading role in many areas of hygiene and cleaning.
The demand for increased sustainability throughout the life-cycle of hygiene products continues to grow, and the use of bio-based raw materials is just one of many possible solutions adopted by the industry.
Nonwovens are also helping meet the need for more discreet adult incontinence products, suitable for the differing needs of an ageing population. Features such as coloured or decorated products, more garment-like material and a more tailored fit, together with specific functions such as bacterial barrier, absorbency, cushioning and durability, make nonwovens the material of choice in the field.
Click here to see a short video demonstrating how the properties of nonwovens developed for diapers are now helping to provide potable water.
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MUMBAI: The date: 10 June 2021.
MUMBAI: Golfer Tiger Woods and tennis ace Roger Federer have topped Forbes' list of the highest paid athletes having made $78.1 million and $71.5 million from June 2012-June 2013 time frame respectively.
Rounding out the top five are Kobe Bryant who made $61.9 million, LeBron James with $59.8 million and Drew Brees with $51 million. A major chunk of Woods and Federer?s wealth came from brand endorsements. Each earned $65 million this route.
Woods has been the hottest golfer on the planet with six tournament wins over the past 12-months. His prize money has doubled and his off-course income is up thanks to sponsor bonuses with Nike and Rolex tied to his wins and a return to the top of the World Golf Rankings. Woods has also been busy overseas collecting more than $10 million in appearance fees from stops in Abu Dhabi, China, Malaysia and Turkey. Woods? golf course-design business has also picked up after multiple blowups. Developers broke ground on a new course in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, which is likely to be the first completed Woods-designed course.
Federer - Forbes noted has the most impressive endorsement portfolio in sports, with 10 sponsors that collectively pay him more than $40 million annually, including long-term deals with Nike, Rolex, Wilson and Credit Suisse. The newest addition is champagne brand Moet and Chandon, which signed Federer to a five-year deal at the end of 2012. Federer?s income surged after a barnstorming exhibition tour of South America that netted him $14 million for six events. Federer is widely perceived as the greatest tennis player ever. He holds the records for most singles Grand Slam wins (17) and career prize money ($77 million). He appeared in a staggering 18 out of 19 Grand Slam finals between 2005 and 2010.
Indian skipper M.S. Dhoni is at number 16 having made $31.5 million. Like Federer and Woods most of his money has come from brand endorsements ? $28 million. Forbes notes that nearly half of Dhoni?s 25 endorsements pay more than $1 million annually, including a three-year deal with former billionaire Vijay Mallya?s United Breweries Group worth more than $5 million over three years. He has also shown an ear for business by taking equity stakes or key roles with companies he endorses and his own Supersport World Championship motorcycle racing team.
Sachin Tendulkar is at number 51 having made $22 million out of which $18 million has come from brand endorsements. Tendulkar is in the twilight of his career and is beginning to lose corporate partners like Canon, which chose not to re-up when their deal expired last year. But his $1.2 million-per-year contract with Coca-Cola is worth more than most IPL players? entire salaries. The "Master Blaster" retired in May from the IPL, the source of over $2 million of his annual earnings. The retirement announcement came moments after the Mumbai Indians, for whom he?s played since 2008, won their first ever championship.
Federer?s arch rivals Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal are at numbers 28 and 30 having earned 26.9 million and 26.4 million. While Djokovic has passed his rivals Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer on the court, he still trails them when it comes to endorsement earnings. Djokovic and his clothing sponsor Sergio Tacchini parted ways in last year and the world?s number one player signed a new clothing deal with Japan?s Uniqlo. He added a shoe deal with Adidas in 2013.
A knee injury resulted in Nadal?s withdrawal from the 2012 Olympics and a seven-month absence from the court. The result was a drop in prize money and ranking. He fell to number four in the 2012 year-end ATP standings after being within the top two spots in year-end rankings for eight straight years. In December, he left IMG to start his own management company with his father and manager. Nadal?s watch sponsor Richard Mille released a sequel in February to the Nadal signature timepiece first released in 2010 for $500,000. The new version is lighter but comes with a heftier $690,000 price tag.
Representing the women is Maria Sharapova at number 22 who made $29 million out of which 23 million comes from brand endorsements. Sharapova completed the career Grand Slam last year when she won the French Open. She plays the final of this year?s edition tomorrow. Last year?s win triggered lucrative bonuses with sponsors Nike and Head. Her $26 million in career prize money ranks third all-time behind the Williams sisters. She launched her own candy line, Sugarpova, last year and it expects to sell 1.5 million bags at $5-6 a pop in the first 12-months. Sharapova plans to expand the company into other categories once her playing days are over.
Li Na is at number 85 having made $18.2 million. Out of this $15 million comes from brand endorsements. Li rose to prominence in 2011 when she reached two Grand Slam finals and won the French Open title. The win in Paris made her the first Asian-born tennis player ever to win a Grand Slam singles event. Despite the sluggish overall sponsorship market, she signed seven multimillion-dollar endorsement deals after the historic win. Li shills for Babolat, Nike, Samsung and Mercedes, as well as multiple Chinese companies. She extended her Rolex deal in 2013 after reaching the Australian Open finals.
Retired soccer player David Beckham is at number eight having made $47.2 million. $42 million came from brand endorsements. Beckham announced his retirement from soccer after a five-month stay at Paris Saint-Germain, where Becks won his tenth league title to put a bow on his decorated 21-year career. Beckham donated his $5.3 million salary at PSG to a children?s charity. He can afford it. The British icon banked $42 million from commercial endorsements from sponsors including Adidas, Coty, H&M, Sainsbury?s, Samsung and his newest partner, Breitling.
Beckham will be busy in retirement. He signed a multi-year deal to become an ambassador for the Chinese Super League, a role which will see him make three trips in 2013 to the country and play an exhibition game. He also plans to buy an MLS team, a contractual right he was granted when he joined the league in 2007.
One athlete who makes almost all his money through endorsements is sprinter Usain Bolt. Out of his $24.2 million earnings only $200,000 was prize money. His biggest endorsement deal with Puma pays about $9 million annually. He added multimillion deals with Samsung and Comcast since the London Olympic Games.
Boxer Floyd Merryweather is the opposite. All his earnings of $34 million came from his only fight. The top-earner on Forbes 2012 highest paid athletes fell into a tie with fellow pugilist Manny Pacquiao at Number 14 after only fighting once between the June 2012-June 2013 time frame. But Mayweather still cashed in with a blockbuster 30-month, six fight deal with Showtime in February. The deal is expected to net Mayweather roughly $200 million, if he fights six times, and potentially much more depending on pay-per-view sales. His first fight of the contract resulted in a lopsided unanimous decision over Robert Guerrero in May that had disappointing PPV sales and limited Mayweather?s final take on top of his $32 million guarantee. But a September bout with Canelo Alvarez is expected to be a PPV hit.
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2023-09-29T23:48:32Z
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Power is essential to the modern van life experience, and our Ramble Kit takes it to the next level with the revolutionary EcoFlow Power Utility Cabinet. Say goodbye to limitations and hello to unlimited power on the go. Let's dive into this innovative component and how it can supercharge your van life adventure.
Empower Your Journey
The EcoFlow Power Utility Cabinet is not just a power source; it's a complete energy solution designed to meet all your power needs. This cabinet is specifically crafted to house the EcoFlow Power Kit, available in either 5 kWh or 10 kWh configurations. With this dynamic duo, you'll have access to a robust power supply that can handle everything from cooking to charging your devices, even running your favorite appliances.
What sets the EcoFlow Power Utility Cabinet apart is its versatility. It features a variety of charging methods, including up to 4800W solar, 1000W alternator, 3000W shore power, and 1800W Smart Generator input. This means you can harness power from multiple sources, ensuring you stay charged wherever your journey takes you.
Integrating the EcoFlow Power Kit into your van has never been easier. The Power Utility Cabinet is designed for seamless assembly, offering a plug-and-play experience. Thanks to the wiring diagram provided, you can effortlessly connect the components and start enjoying uninterrupted power.
Recommended Components: For an even more enhanced van life experience, consider incorporating the recommended components into your Ramble Kit. The Arctic Tern Skylight and Inhabit Mats are excellent choices to elevate your interior. The Arctic Tern Skylight floods your van with natural light and fresh air, while the Inhabit Mats provide thermal insulation, sound absorption, and easy maintenance.
Stay tuned for our next post, where we'll introduce you to the Water Utility Cabinet, ensuring you stay hydrated during your journeys. Join us as we continue to explore the incredible features of the Ramble Kit, designed to make your van life adventure truly exceptional.
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2023-09-29T22:40:28Z
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Are you at a point where you need more help in your business? In today’s fast-paced business landscape, organizations often grapple with a critical dilemma: How can they meet their software development needs effectively while balancing budgets, timelines, and quality standards? This challenge has led many businesses to ponder whether to outsource their software development or build an in-house development team. This article aims to provide clarity by comparing the pros and cons of both approaches, helping you make a well-informed decision that aligns with your business goals.
The Basics: Outsourcing vs. In-House Development
Outsourcing involves partnering with external companies or teams to handle various aspects of your software development project. These external entities can be located both domestically and abroad.
In-house development, on the other hand, means establishing and maintaining an internal team of developers and other necessary professionals to handle your software development needs. This team works exclusively for your organization.
The Pros of Outsourcing Software Development
- Cost Savings
Outsourcing: One of the most significant advantages of outsourcing is cost savings. External development teams often operate in regions with lower labor costs, which can translate into substantial savings compared to hiring full-time, in-house staff. Moreover, you can avoid expenses like office space, equipment, and benefits.
- Access to Specialized Skills
Outsourcing: Outsourcing allows you to tap into a global pool of talent. You can choose a development partner with expertise in the specific technologies and skills required for your project, ensuring that you get the best results.
- Faster Project Delivery
Outsourcing: External development teams are often more flexible and can quickly scale up or down to meet project demands. This agility can lead to faster development and quicker time-to-market for your software.
- Focus on Core Competencies
Outsourcing: By outsourcing non-core functions like software development, your internal team can concentrate on strategic business activities, innovation, and core competencies.
The Cons of Outsourcing Software Development
- Communication Challenges
Outsourcing: Working with remote teams can sometimes pose communication challenges due to time zone differences, language barriers, and cultural variations. Effective communication becomes crucial to project success.
- Lack of Full Control
Outsourcing: When you outsource, you relinquish some degree of control over the development process. This can be a concern for businesses with highly customized or confidential projects.
- Security and Data Privacy Concerns
Outsourcing: Entrusting an external partner with your project may raise concerns about data security and confidentiality. It’s vital to establish robust data protection protocols and agreements.
The Pros of In-House Development
- Full Control
In-House Development: Building an in-house team provides complete control over every aspect of the development process. You can adapt and make changes swiftly as needed.
- Seamless Collaboration
In-House Development: Team members work in the same physical location, promoting real-time collaboration, and fostering a strong sense of unity and shared vision.
- In-Depth Knowledge of Your Business
In-House Development: An internal team is more likely to have a deep understanding of your business goals, processes, and unique requirements, leading to highly tailored solutions.
The Cons of In-House Development
- Higher Costs
In-House Development: Hiring, training, and maintaining an in-house development team can be significantly more expensive than outsourcing. It involves salaries, benefits, office overhead, and continuous training costs.
- Limited Access to Specialized Skills
In-House Development: Your in-house team may have limitations in terms of expertise, especially for niche technologies or specialized domains. This could lead to compromises in the quality of your software.
- Slower Time-to-Market
In-House Development: Building an internal team from scratch can take time, delaying the start of your project. Additionally, the team may require time to gain proficiency with the required technologies.
Making the Right Choice
Choosing between outsourcing and in-house development depends on your unique project requirements, budget constraints, and long-term business goals. Here are some considerations to help you make an informed decision:
Consider Outsourcing When:
- Your project budget is limited, and cost-effectiveness is a top priority.
- You need access to specialized skills or technologies that your in-house team lacks.
- Speed-to-market is crucial, and you want to take advantage of external agility.
Consider In-House Development When:
- You require complete control over the development process and want a team fully aligned with your business.
- Your project involves highly sensitive data or unique, proprietary software.
- Long-term strategic planning and investment in in-house expertise align with your business goals.
In conclusion, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the outsourcing vs. in-house development dilemma. Each approach has its distinct advantages and disadvantages. The key to success lies in evaluating your project’s specific needs and aligning them with your business objectives. Whether you choose to outsource or build an in-house team, the ultimate goal is to deliver high-quality software that meets your users’ needs and contributes to your organization’s success.
Ready to discuss your software development needs? Contact Infobest today for expert guidance and tailored solutions. Your success is our priority.
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NASA Ames Space Settlement Contest 2019 now is over!
The NASA Ames Space Settlement Contest 2019, organised by NASA Ames Research Center, San Jose State University, and the National Space Society (NSS), it’s opened for entries inviting students around the world seeking for designs, original research, essays, stories, models, artwork or any other orbital space settlement related materials.
The NASA Ames Research Center, San Jose State University, and the National Space Society (NSS) invite all students around the world up to 12th grade to participate in its NASA Ames Space Settlement Contest 2019 seeking for designs, original research, essays, stories, models, artwork or any other orbital space settlement related materials.
This is a tremendous opportunity to present your work, meet some of the most important people in space development as well as your fellow contestants, and have a great time.
Contest categories are:
• 6th grade and younger: individual, small group, large group,
• 7th grade: individual, small group, large group,
• 8th grade: individual, small group, large group,
• 9th grade: individual, small group, large group,
• 10th grade: individual, small group, large group,
• 11th grade: individual, small group, large group,
• 12th grade: individual, small group, large group.
Additional categories based on artistic and literary merit are also included in the contest.
"Space settlements are permanent communities in orbit, as opposed to living on the Moon or other planets. The work of Princeton physicist Dr. O’Neill and others have shown that such colonies are technically feasible, although expensive. Settlers of this high frontier are expected to live inside large air-tight rotating structures holding hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people along with the animals, plants, and single celled organisms vital to comfort and survival. There are many advantages to living in orbit: zero-g recreation, environmental independence, plentiful solar energy, and terrific views to name a few. There is plenty of room for everyone who wants to go; the materials from a single asteroid can build space colonies with living space equal to about 500 times the surface area of the Earth.
Why should settlements be in orbit? Mars and our Moon have a surface gravity far below Earth normal. Children raised in low-g will not develop bones and muscles strong enough to visit Earth comfortably. In contrast, orbital colonies can be rotated to provide Earth normal pseudo-gravity in the main living areas."
• The 2019 contest will be conducted electronically. No more paper entries.
• Submissions must relate to free space settlements. Settlements may not be on a planet or moon, although support activities such as mining may be. Settlements must be permanent homes, relatively self-sufficient homes, not temporary work camps. Submissions may focus on one or a few aspects of space settlement and supporting systems, including mines, activities leading up to settlement (such as space hotels), economic and social issues, etc.
• Designs, original research, essays, stories, models, artwork or any other orbital space settlement related materials may be submitted.
• Submissions should not be longer than 50 pages unless it is essential to explain the work. If your entry is longer than 5-10 pages, consider including a one page executive summary on the best features of your entry. Be sure to include original ideas, major focus, and any parts particularly well done in the executive summary. This will help the judges find the best parts of your entry.
• The submission must be the student’s own work. Plagiarism is forbidden. No part of an entry may copied with one exception: You may quote short passages, but only if the material is surrounded in double quotes (") and the source indicated. Quoted materials should rarely be more than a few lines, and never longer than a few paragraphs. Quoting long passages is forbidden. Entries caught plagiarizing, even one part of a large entry, will be disqualified and disposed of. You may use images from the web, but please credit the source.
• Instructors, mentors or parents may assist the student by presenting relevant resources, discussing core concepts and suggesting minor edits, but the work itself must be entirely student produced.
Teachers can make this contest part of their lesson plan. While designing a space colony, students will have a chance to study physics, mathematics, space science, environmental science, and many other disciplines. Organizer would like students outside the science classes to participate as well.
Students can design entire colonies or focus on one aspect of orbital living. For example, consider a cross curriculum project where science classes design the basic structure and support systems, art students create pictures of the interior and exterior, English students write related short stories, social studies students develop government and social systems, Industrial Technology builds a scale model, and the football team proposes low-g sports.
Individuals, small teams of two to five, and large teams of six to twelve will be judged separately.
The National Space Society (NSS) invites all 2019 contest participants to attend the NSS 38th annual International Space Development Conference (ISDC) in Arlington, VA, 6-9 June 2019. The highest ranking winners attending will be invited to give oral presentations as time is available. To the extent space is available, all contestants who attend will be invited to display a poster of their work.
There is no entry fees to participate!
The NASA Ames Space Settlement Contest 2019 is for all students at up to 12th grade from anywhere in the world.
There is no entry fee to participate!
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https://www.infodesigners.eu/competitionss/nasa-ames-space-settlement-contest-2019/6523
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2023-09-30T00:04:48Z
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The Order will–
- apply a 40 miles per hour speed limit to a length of Hillhead Road, Toomebridge.
- de-restrict lengths of A6 Dual Carriageway, Annaghmore Link Road, Bellshill Road, Deerpark Road and Hillhead Road, Castledawson; A6 Dual Carriageway and Moneynick Road, Randalstown; and A6 Dual Carriageway, Hillhead Road and Moneynick Road, Toomebridge so that the national speed limit applies.
Vehicles are excepted from the restrictions in certain circumstances.
Inspecting the proposals
Full details are contained in the draft Order which, together with maps showing the roads involved, may be inspected free of charge during office hours within the period below at;Network Development
DfI Roads Northern Division
DfI Roads Western Division
Inspection of the draft Order is by appointment only which can be arranged either by email using the office e-mail address above or by telephone during office hours (Mon to Fri 9.00 am to 5.00 pm) on 0300 200 7899.
Making an objection
Any person may object or make other representations, specifying the grounds on which they are made, by writing or emailing the Department at the DfI Roads addresses above before 6 July 2023.
The information you provide in your response to this consultation, excluding personal information, may be published or disclosed in accordance with the Freedom of Information Act 2000 (FOIA) or the Environmental Information Regulations (EIR). If you want the information that you provide to be treated as confidential, please tell us why, but be aware that, under the FOIA/EIR, we cannot guarantee confidentiality.
For information regarding the Departmental Privacy Notice following the introduction of GDPR please go to the following link DfI Privacy or phone the Data Protection Office on 028 90540540. For further details on confidentiality, the FOIA and EIR please refer to https://ico.org.uk
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https://www.infrastructure-ni.gov.uk/consultations/roads-speed-limit-no-4-order-northern-ireland-2023
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2023-09-30T00:16:23Z
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Please note: This article was first published on The Vegan Tourist and last updated October 27, 2013. I deleted inactive links on 28 November 2021. I could not verify that the restaurant is still in business.
My spring vacation on the island of Menorca, Spain, is but a distant memory. Nevertheless, I still have three more articles about Menorca that I want to post on this website. Somehow I never quite got around to writing them, but today’s finally the day. Sunday, October 27, 2013, 4:00 AM.
First, I’d like to tell you about my visit to Restaurante Molí d’es Racó in es Mercadal. The town of es Mercadal is situated at the centre of the island, along the main road (Me 1), and you can’t miss the restaurant. It’s located inside an old windmill, which towers over the town. This family restaurant is huge – three dining rooms seat 200 people – and I would imagine that quite a few tourist buses stop by during the high season. But don’t let that deter you. We had a late lunch/early dinner there at 3:45 PM on a Saturday afternoon during the off-season (April 27, 2013), and the restaurant was packed with Menorcans. We were lucky to get a table, and I didn’t notice any other (non-Spanish speaking) tourists at the restaurant during our visit. It’s clearly very popular with the locals, too.
Our friendly waiter spoke a little German and I was able to explain to him what “vegan “meant. He assured me that one of the island’s specialties – oli i aigua (tomato soup with figs) was 100% vegan. I wasn’t – and still am – not sure about the broth. It’s difficult to explain to a non-vegan that even vegetable broths aren’t necessarily vegan, so I usually never order soups at restaurants. But there weren’t many vegan choices at Restaurante Molí d’es Racó, and as oli i aigua is one of the very few Menorcan dishes that are (supposedly) vegan (the other being pa amb oil and variations thereof), we went ahead and ordered it. It was delicious.
My second choice – oven-baked aubergines stuffed with breadcrumbs – didn’t impress me. Again, the waiter assured me that this dish was vegan, but I couldn’t help wondering about the breadcrumbs. What can I say, the devil’s in the details – not all kinds of bread are vegan. Aside from that, I didn’t much care for this dish anyway. I’m not much for soggy breadcrumbs, vegan or not. I wouldn’t order it again.
I ordered fried potatoes as a side dish, and this was a big mistake. I love potatoes, but these were fried in the same oil as all the other dishes – the restaurant specializes in meat and fish – and the potatoes had a fishy flavour to them. Don’t order them; in fact, don’t order anything fried.
Unfortunately, this leaves you with very few choices at Restaurante Molí d’es Racó. In addition to what I ordered, there was also a mixed salad on offer, but that was about it in terms of vegan choices. The restaurant did serve a small bowl of olives as a free appetizer (very good, I ate them all), and we also ordered some bread, so there was plenty of food to eat – we didn’t leave hungry. Have a salad, order the soup, and enjoy the atmosphere of this unique Menorcan restaurant.
Prices are moderate at Restaurante Molí d’es Racó. The soup was 6.50 Euros per person, the stuffed aubergines with the fried potatoes cost 6.95 Euros, and an order of bread per person was 65 cents. Mineral water (1 litre) was 2.65 Euros.
Address: c/Major 53 , es Mercadal, Menorca
Opening hours: daily 12:30 PM to 4:00 PM, and 7:00 PM to 11:30 PM
Phone: +34 – 971 – 375 392
Website: inactive. This restaurant may no longer be in business.
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My name is Annaleigh Pace. I am 17 years old and I live in the small town of Arden in Ontario, Canada.
I love it here, truly I do. It’s gorgeous, with all the clear sky, white clouds, frosty weather, and calming atmosphere. It truly is the best place on earth. Its summers are perfect, not too hot and not too cold. And winter is fun, for those that like snow… And a lot of it. The air just has this feel to it, like you breathe it in and suddenly everything’s alright. You’d think I’d get used to it after living here, but everyday it’s like I just got here, like the start of a much-needed vacation.
Arden is near Kaladar, sometimes we travel out to Kaladar when we need something that the small Arden town centre doesn’t have. When you drive past the town, you end up going to Aragain Lodge. That is where I live. My parents own it. It’s what makes Arden the best place. Lake Kashwakamak is so pretty, so serene. It’s perfect for a boat ride, perfect for fishing (which I don’t do), perfect for moonlight reflections, perfect for calming and humidifying the air. Of course, it’s also perfect for attracting bugs, but bugs don’t bother me.
Aragain just inspires creativity. The minute I step outside and breathe in that air, I feel like I can do anything. Sometimes I feel like I can run a mile, sometimes I feel like I can write a novel. Whatever it is, it happens in Arden.
And it’s perfect for stargazing at night. The sky is so clear, it’s as if you can see everything. I once thought I saw another galaxy, or a starship. I’ve seen multiple constellations, and the moon is always gorgeous. I visited America once and it was so bloody polluted; I really missed my stars. And the air.
I really do love it here.
But all I want to do is get out. I want to move on, find my own way.
There’s something you need to know about me.
I am a vampire. A bloodsucker, a leech, whatever you want to call me. Except I’m not. I seem to be half-human. I don’t really know what I am.
All I know is that I’ve been living with my adopted parents for all my life. I have no clue what happened to my mom. She probably died.
See, there are only two ways to make a vampire and they both include one man. The original Dracula himself.
If you’re very rich, or very sacrificing, you can get his genes planted into your fetus. Or, you can sleep with him.
Women who have such relations with him never survive, that’s why I think my mom was one of them.
No one knows how he was created, or how other vampires are created from him - other than the basic biology, of course. Each time his genes are used to create a vampire, the spawn comes out even more human than the last one. So we’ve definitely evolved over the years. Or devolved. Depending on how you look at it.
For example, I don’t even drink blood.
Ok, restart your heart. It’s not that surprising.
Lately, the only vampires created who drink blood drink it because they did once.
They all started out as actual blood-drinkers, like you see or read about. But like I said, each creation is more human. Somewhere along the line, the vampires stopped having a thirst for blood, unless they drank it once before. (I really need to explain this better... the vampires weren’t bloodthirsty unless they thought they should be and drank blood, then they would become actual blood drinkers...)
So, because I’ve never tasted blood, I live off of human food. Which helps me fit in at school. Not that I actually fit in, but the fact that I don’t drink blood certainly helps me not to be a total reject. Well, actually, no, nevermind. I am a complete and total reject. But at least I don’t drink blood.
I know, I know. Most people tell their life story bits at a time and then get to the kicker, the real plot, the surprise. I am a vampire. Whoops, ruined the suspense for ya, didn’t I? Well, shush. This is my story and I’m going to tell it however I please. Unfortunately, I am going to stay completely honest. My life really isn’t that exciting. It’s just a normal, boring, teenage life. I’m not going to spice it up, or make myself seem better than I really am. What kind of person does that?
I’m just going to live my life the way it is, cataloging it along the way. Why I want to do this, I have no clue. It’s not like I think I’m going to be some world-famous author by writing my autobiography. No, most people would think it’s fiction anyway.
I guess I just think that it would help me. Like journaling out my feelings. Except I think that’s a little whack. I’m not in therapy, ok? So I’ll just write about myself. Maybe I should make it sound like it’s happening to another person, like a real story. But it would lose my character, my personality, and my English teacher says that writing is all about making your readers feel the way your character feels, and since my character is myself, I guess you have to feel what I feel.
Which is very confused at the moment. I apparently do not write formally at all. Which could make it confusing at times, but I think that it helps clarify things sometimes, eh?
I don’t know. Maybe I should stop introducing my story and just tell it.
I suppose it all starts with Monday, the day every teenager hates. The beginning of the school week.
“Argh! Mom! Do you know where my top is?” I yelled down the stairs.
“The one that goes with my pants.” I was running around my room frantically, trying to find my grey long-sleeve top with the black rose design.
“Check your closet.”
“Thanks for the help, Mom.”I rolled my eyes. I moved around a few papers on my desk and saw my shirt. I grabbed it and pulled it over my head quickly. I was wearing black skinny jeans, pink Converse Chucks, and my grey shirt. Black, pink, and grey were my usual wardrobe colours. I always wore black, but I liked to add bright colours too. Mostly pink or turquoise.
Once I had my outfit together, I ran into my small bathroom and fixed my hair and makeup. Comb hair, straighten hair, add defrizzer and smoother, complete with hairspray. It really wasn’t a lot to do. The hairspray was to help the defrizzer work. I didn’t technically have frizzy hair, just the normal flyaways, but this beautiful Canadian weather seemed to add to it, so I liked to try to tame my hair when I had time to. I think the straightening helped too but I’m not really sure. I don’t always straighten my hair. I guess I don’t really need it. My hair is technically straight, but it gets wavy, especially when I go to bed with wet hair. I have side bangs over my left eye. They were really cool bangs, too. They went in a diagonal-ish line, getting longer but starting right under my eye. They looked best after coming back from the salon, but when they got too long, they still weren’t bad-looking, because I started out with them right underneath my eye. And traveling to longer, of course, but they were just cool. And useful. I liked hiding behind my hair sometimes. Besides, I liked the way it looked.
For makeup, I just dab a bit of foundation over my pimples, just to conceal the redness. I don’t get every many pimples, or when I do, they’re small. Although there’s always one week every month that I get a few whoppers. Red whoppers. Hideous.
After that, it’s just a swipe of black eyeliner and I’m ready for school. Ugh school.
I grabbed my backpack and headed down the stairs.
“Hey, honey. Did you drink your breakfast today?” I rolled my eyes. No, I’m not on some weird protein milkshake diet or something. My mom’s just taking a crack at me because I’m a vampire. It is so annoying.
“Yeah, Mom, I did actually.. By the way, sorry about your husband. I guess I just can’t help myself sometimes. You should tell him to be more careful around those books. One little papercut, one drop of blood…” I sighed remorsefully. Mom knew I was teasing, but she still gave me the don’t-even-go-there-that’s-not-funny look.
“Ergh! I’m just kidding, Mom. You know I’m not like that. Gosh, why do you have to keep teasing me about it? I can’t help who I am! You’re darn lucky I don’t drink blood! So why don’t you just stop picking on me for once and deal with it!? I am a vampire. I am a human. I don’t know what the hell I am but I certainly don’t drink blood. You know this! You’ve known this for years. If you’re going to keep acting like you don’t know this, why don’t you just send me back to the adoption agency?” I grabbed a bottle of chocolate milk out of the fridge and slammed the door behind me. I know what I said was wrong, maybe even hurtful. But I’m sick of it. I’m sick and tired of her joking around. I don’t drink blood, dammit. Why is that so hard to understand? And maybe I don’t want to be teased about it. Can I help who my father is? Who he made me? No, I can’t. So why is it brought up all the time?
Ugh. Now I sound like some spoiled brat who doesn’t appreciate her parents. Well, I do. It just gets on my nerves how she teases me. Of course, that’s just it: teasing. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on her. Agh! Well, I’m a teenager; aren’t I supposed to yell about random things and slam the door?
I began walking away from the house, down the secluded road, away from the lake, closer to the town. We lived in one of the houses across from the lodge part of Aragain lodge. I always liked the cabins, but those were for the tourists, the customers, the whatever you want to call thems. Sometimes when it was a slow week and we had open cabins, Mom let me stay in one. All by myself. Those were the best times.
That way, I was closer to the lake and everything I loved about living here. And also, I was away from my parents. It’s just nice to have a break sometimes.
So I was walking along, heading towards the grocery store where I would meet up with Jesse. Jesse Savage was my guy best friend, and his uncle owned the grocery store so Jesse worked there part-time, and that’s where we always met up to walk to the bus. Jesse lived with his uncle because he had no parents. If he knew what happened to them, he didn’t tell anyone. Not even me, and he was a lot more open with me than anyone else. We had known each other ever since we were thirteen or fourteen, when he moved here to Arden. He was a misfit at school, just like me. Always wearing black, not participating, we just clicked. So we’ve been best friends ever since. We have another friend, Jacqueline Taylor, but I’ll talk about her some other time.
When I got to the grocery store, Jesse was already waiting for me, like always. He and his uncle lived in a house nearby, but Jesse and I always met at the grocery store. Then we walked to the school bus stop and rode to Kaladar High. Kaladar is a bit far away, but it was either that or home school, and early mornings aren’t really that bad. Sometimes Jesse and I get up earlier than normal and walk all the way to school. We’re probably not supposed to do this, but hey, safety in numbers, right?
“Hey, Jez,” I called to him as I kept walking. He was right at the end of the parking lot, heading towards the road, so I figured I wouldn’t stop, you know?
Soon, he was walking in stride with me.
“Hey, Naleigh.” He smiled at me slightly. Smiles were rare for Jesse, and it seemed to me like I was practically the only receiver of said rare smiles. Of course, I could be deluding myself into thinking that as an attempt of flattery. Some sort of, oh the threatening yet hot guy is pissed off at everyone else, but he likes you, Annaleigh. Right.
Oh, did I mention that Jesse was hot? Yes, very hot. Extremely. Even the little preppy girls at school thought he was hot. And he definitely didn’t fit into the preppy description at all. His hair was naturally straight (lucky duck) and black with some odd bluish-purple tints. It was like raven black, only better. (My hair is naturally black, too. But it’s not the normal kind of natural black that’s actually a dark brown. It’s literal black, the kind that people dye their hair. Jesse had me dye it once, and the dye had no effect on my hair whatsoever. Jackie was totally jealous. She dyed her hair black once and loved it, but her mom didn’t let her keep it. She wishes she had my hair.) But Jesse’s was different. It was like a really really dark purple, but you only saw the purple in sunlight. The fluorescent lights at school displayed the purple a little bit, but it was still mostly black. I often wondered how many dying steps it took to get his colour.
But it wasn’t like totally purple or totally blue. It was black. It just had purple-blue hints.
You know how black supposedly contains all the colours? Well, blue and purple seem to be the primary participants in black. Jesse’s hair was black, a black that allowed its’ purple and blue occupants have some fun, too.
It was really hard to describe without sounding cheesy, but if you saw it in real life, I bet you’d keel over from the beauty.
And his hair was sort of long, just long enough to cover his eyes, but short enough that he could shake his head and let his eyes be seen. And oh how I loved it when he did that. His eyes were the most beautiful blue I had ever seen. They were bright, but not light, unrealistic and totally dreamy blue. They were piercing. Icy, deep, penetrating. I could spend hours looking at his eyes. They were too beautiful to be real, and yet they were. My eyes are blue too, but nowhere near as blue as Jesse’s. My eyes actually looked green in some lighting. And my pupils always looked too big, so my eyes were all dark. In the sunlight, and when I was tired, my eyes were bluer… But still not as blue as Jesse’s. His were like a marker, or a crayon. I’ve seen blues close to his on cars and on clothes. But his eyes… Just so magnificent.
As for his clothes, he wore the normal emo/skater type, but he and I were no label victims. We wore what we liked, you know? Which was mostly black, of course. He almost always wore a hoodie. Long sleeves were very popular in Canada. I like long sleeves. Jeans, band shirts, and hoodies: Those were mostly what Jesse wore. Of course, I rarely noticed his clothes because I was always too busy looking at his eyes or his hair.
I think I’m the only person who has ever really seen his eyes all the way, with his hair out of the way. If he walked around school with his hair out of his eyes, people would fall over. That’s how beautiful and outstanding his eyes were. They would attract attention, and then bam! The beauty would knock you dead.
He kept his hair in his face mostly, as did I. It just seemed to scream ‘unapproachable’ and for the most part, we were left alone. Except when the preps decided that they had nothing better to do than pick on us. Ha. Poor, lifeless little creatures. I truly feel sorry for them. Oh well, it’s their lives, they can live how they want, and so can we. We preferred to keep to ourselves and focus on things that mattered.
Anyway, back to his hair. I can rant about the preps later. Jesse mostly kept his hair in his face, but glimpses of his eye colour were still available. And it was great. I loved looking into his eyes when they were free of hair, but there was just something about having gorgeous blue eyes peek out at me from underneath gorgeous black hair. And his hair colour totally didn’t mar his eye colour. You would think the purple tints would either clash with the blue or accentuate the blue, but no, it’s just his eye colour and his hair colour. Two totally separate (and equally hot) entities.
So, I had a crush on my best friend. What else is new? After all, it is high school.
“You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.” Jesse’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I suddenly blushed, remembering how I had been thinking about him. Thank goodness humans can’t read minds. That would have been so embarrassing. Even more embarrassing than the fact that I just blushed. Hopefully Jesse would think it was from the cold weather. I should have brought a jacket.
“Hmm? I was?”
He sighed. “We were going to walk to school today, remember?”
Oh buckets! I had completely forgotten.
“Oh, Jesse, I am so sorry. I don’t know where my head has been lately. Or why I can’t remember simple details for more than two hours. I’m sorry.” I felt a sudden urge to hug him. Instead, I looked over at him with my peripheral vision. He didn’t look upset. Sort of amused, maybe, but not mad. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Jesse. At school, he pretty much always had a poker face on. One that was unbelievably hot, yet totally threatening. Even so, I found that I could read him most of the time, and I definitely read him better than anyone else. I think it was because he and I spent the most time together, and he was more open around me. I don’t know. Maybe.
“Do we still have time?” I asked.
Jesse looked at me.
“You don’t have a jacket,” he said simply. I shrugged. It wasn’t that cold outside. Normal Canadian weather.
He raised his eyebrow slightly and kept walking. I sighed, assuming that meant we weren’t walking to school.
“I’m fine,” I started to say as soon as wind blew directly into my face, which caused me to shiver.
Stupid wind, I thought. Jesse looked over at me again, this time with a disbelieving look. Yeah, my actions contradicted my words. It’s not my fault the wind blew!
Before I knew it, Jesse’s plain black hoodie was off and being thrust at me. I caught it and glanced over at him. He now had short sleeves on, but he kept on walking as if no change had been made.
“Jez, I can’t wear your jacket.” I said as if stating the obvious. He glanced over at me, his eyes ran along my shirt.
“It’ll fit,” he smirked. I blushed. He knew that wasn’t what I meant.
“You’ll freeze.” I knew it was pointless to argue, but I just couldn’t wear his jacket! At least I had long sleeves on. Even if I wanted to wear his jacket. Wrap the soft, warm fabric around me. Fabric that had touched his skin, that had his scent… Ugh I was so smitten. Smitten? Who the crap even says that?!
He frowned slightly and hopped over the small log that was currently in our path. I started to hand his jacket back to him but he stopped abruptly and spun around to face me. He took a step towards me, anger glinting in his eyes subtly.
“Take it, Ann.” I made a face and hissed. I hated being called Ann, and he knew it. Everyone always called me Ann. My name is Annaleigh, for crying out loud! Jesse sometimes called me Naleigh, sort of like Nullie, or Natalie without the t, but he was the only one allowed to call me that.
“Fine, Jesse-ca.” I pulled my arm back and crossed them, with the jacket hanging over. He narrowed his eyes at me, but didn’t say anything about the name. He knew he deserved it, after calling me my hated nickname. I uncrossed my arms and smiled smugly, then proceeded to fiddle with his jacket, trying to find the correct arm hole. Jesse took another step towards me and placed his hand on mine and his jacket. The sudden touch (his cold, wonderful touch) surprised me and I looked up at him. His eyes bore into mine for what seemed like an eternity before he stepped back and looked at the hoodie meaningfully before continuing walking again.
I blinked rapidly, trying to determine what happened. His fingers touched my hand. His cold fingers. Cold because I had his jacket. What a selfish thing, for me to like the fact that he was cold because of me. But his icy fingers somehow warmed my hand.
I struggled with the jacket again, slipping it on hesitantly.
“I already agreed to wear it. I don’t know why you had to go and intimidate me,” I mumbled as I slipped my arms through and zipped it up halfway. I always looked odd with unzipped jackets. Jesse, of course, looked great either way.
His laughter was so soft that it could have been the wind. Or my imagination. Then I started to wonder if he was trying to intimidate me into wearing it, or maybe that was something else. No, of course not. Stop being stupid, Annaleigh.
We continued our walk to the bus stop in silence. I don’t know what Jesse was thinking about, but I was thinking about how warm and comfortable his jacket was. It was slightly big on me, of course, but it was nice. It felt right. And it smelled like him. It smelled really good. It’s a wonder I didn’t keel over. My knees were a bit weak. But I think that always happened around him. Especially when I looked into his eyes.
Sigh. How pathetic is it to have a crush on your best friend? Extremely pathetic, I know. But at least I’m smart enough to know that it would never go anywhere, so I keep it inside of me and focus on our friendship. Because his friendship is something I could never afford to lose.
Ooh, that was a dramatic sentence. Or melodramatic. Horatio Caine much? Oh, ew!
The thought of Horatio made me shudder. Jesse looked over at me.
I blinked. “Huh? What? No. No, I was just… No, I’m not cold.” He looked at me for a second and then looked away, shaking his head slightly. I sighed.
Then, I spotted Jacqueline waiting for us at the bus stop. I started to unzip Jesse’s jacket. He looked over at me with a hard look in his eye. I nodded over to where Jackie was. He frowned slightly, but let me give his jacket back to him.
See, Jesse had a sweet side. He had a really sweet side. But he didn’t like people seeing his sweet side. At school, people tended to avoid him. He sort of had a reputation. He had this attitude, like ‘cross my path and I’ll kill you’ so people left him alone, which is how he liked it. People were… scared of him sort of. (Though he wasn’t into fights or bullying or anything like that. He just wanted to be left alone, and he got what he wanted, because he made sure of it.) So I figured that Jesse wouldn’t want Jackie to know he was lending me his jacket when I had long sleeves on and he had short sleeves. And I was right.
I felt sort of special. Because I was really the only one who knew who Jesse was inside. The only one who knew how sweet he could be, how kind and caring. Jackie knew he wasn’t as threatening as people at school thought he was, but she didn’t really know how awesomely nice he could be. And I know he would want to keep it that way. He liked that people gave him space, liked that he could give them one look and send them running for the hills. He was really cool like that.
I know that most girls fall for the ‘bad boy’ or whatever, but it wasn’t like that with Jesse. He was a sweet person, he really was. Just not around anyone except me (as far as I knew). And Jesse wasn’t bad, he just had this total ‘unapproachable’ look to him. Like, back off or else. And Jesse didn’t even have to work to keep that look. It was part of who he was.
I smiled at Jesse, sort of teasing him about the whole jacket thing. He rolled his eyes back at me, but I saw the hint of a smile on his face. It always brightened my day when Jesse smiled. Especially at me, or because of me.
We were approaching the bench at the bus stop where Jackie was sitting, scribbling in her notebook furiously, as always.
“Hey, Jack-Jack.” I sat down next to her and tried to peek at her notebook. She shifted it away slightly, not even acknowledging the fact that I was there. She was like that sometimes, so absorbed in her work that you could drop a bomb and she wouldn’t notice. Of course she could carry a conversation while working and ignoring said dropped bombs.
“Jack-Jack isn’t working today, Ann-Ann.” Jesse sat next to me. I could tell that he was stifling laughter, knowing I was going to blow up at Jackie for calling me Ann-Ann. I sighed angrily.
“Well, I never know. It’s not my fault your name has so many nicknames.” I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the bench. I snuck a glance at Jesse. He still looked amused.
“Your name has a lot of possible nicknames, too, but you never let anyone call you anything other than Annaleigh.” Jackie looked up from her work . “Well, except…” She glanced at Jesse and then me before quickly returning her eyes to her work. I felt Jesse stiffen slightly beside me. I wondered if he saw the bus and was getting rid of his non-threatening demeanor. Suddenly, I realised what Jackie had been saying and blushed.
Only Jesse had a nickname for me. And only he was allowed to call me said nickname. Jacqueline jumped to conclusions. I suppose it was something that was easy to assume, considering that Jesse and I were close, and so many things were exclusive to each other (my nickname, his sweetness) but there was also no way that that could ever happen. No way that would ever happen. Panic struck as I wondered if Jackie knew about my secret crush on Jesse. Was it obvious? Oh, crap.
“What are you working on?” I tried to look at her notebook again. I was changing the subject and distracting my mind.
“Mmm… a story about a psycho killer and his victims,” Jackie replied, still writing in her notebook. She looked up suddenly, a bright look in her eyes. “But get this. His victims try to kill him too, but they never know it. It’s just a big mind game. It’s really freaky, and it’s honestly some of the best work I’ve ever done. Though I think a more experienced writer would make it better.” She frowned slightly but went back to writing.
That was Jackie for you. She was a big creative lump head. She mostly wrote, but she drew sometimes too. And everything always had a morbid touch to it. She was a morbid little girl, and I loved her for it. It was who she was, and she wasn’t afraid to be like that.
The wind blew softly, catching Jackie’s hair in rays of sunshine. Her hair was brown, a brown that lightened in the summer and looked red in the sun. A lot of people fawned over her hair, but like I said before, she hated it. She wished it was black. I wasn’t a fan of the colour brown, but it went well with her eyes. They were brown too, a chocolatey brown that had hints of honey. They were pretty. If I had to have brown eyes, I would want Jackie’s brown.
The bus pulled up then and Jesse started walking towards it. I stood up and tapped Jackie on the shoulder. She looked up absentmindedly, recognised the bus, grabbed her backpack and stood up. We walked towards the bus. Jesse was already seated near the back, our usual spot. We never sat all the way in the back, because that was too cliché. We always sat two rows in front of the back. Normally Jackie and I sat on one side and Jesse sat by himself on the other side, but today, there was a girl in me and Jackie’s spot across from Jesse. I looked at Jesse. He shrugged with his eyes. Jackie was walking very dangerously, looking at her notebook instead of where she was going. I steered her towards our usual spot. She sat down before I could ask her if she wanted to sit there or with Jesse. Suddenly, the bus started up and nearly threw me backwards. I grabbed onto the back of Jesse’s seat to keep from falling completely.
“Sit down, Ms. Pace,” the bus driver called. I rolled my eyes and quickly sat down next to Jesse. He smirked in a way that was almost a smile and scooted over to give me more room.
I settled into the seat and tried not to focus on the fact that I was sitting close to Jesse. He had been sitting in the middle, so when I plopped down to avoid tumbling, I had practically been sitting on him. Now he was all the way against the window, but still, we were close. And he sat next to me on the bench. And we walked together, he gave me his jacket, and when he stood right in front of me and touched my hand… I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and restarting my oxygen flow. Yes, Jesse was hot. But he was also my best friend. That’s all he ever was, all he ever will be, and all that I ever need.
After a few minutes on the bus, I got bored. Jacqueline was busy writing, and Jesse wasn’t in the mood to talk. So I pulled out my notebook and started to do some writing of my own.
I loved writing. It was therapeutic, but not in a weird way. When I wrote, words came out of me that I didn’t know I had. Sometimes they made no sense, and sometimes they truly captured how I felt. Sometimes, I didn’t know where they came from; it felt like I was writing for someone else. I loved it.
I mostly only wrote songs, but I’ve tried poems, too. They sucked. What I wrote now has the feel of a song or a poem, but nothing rhymed. It really was just a jumble of words that cut the soul. It was confusing, unintelligent, and beautiful.
It’s my fault.
My fault that you don’t find me beautiful, my fault that you love her.
It’s my fault.
Because I can’t be good enough.
No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I can’t be good enough.
I can’t be good enough to let myself die,
to force this pain to end.
I can’t do it. I can’t do anything except wallow in my self-hatred
I’m Not Good Enough.
I never was, I never will be. So why do I try? Why do I want to be?
Well, I suppose you’ll have to get used to it.
I can’t be good enough for you. I’m not good enough for you.
I labeled it ‘Untitled’ and wrote ‘idk wtf this is’ in small letters before adding my name, the date, and a copyright symbol. I always did that when I wrote something. It was just routine.
The bus was at Kaladar High now. I closed my notebook and shoved it into my backpack. I stood up and tapped Jackie again. She was still busy writing. I felt a body brush past me and looked up to see Jesse staring at me. His hair was in front of his eyes, but his eyes held this intense look. I couldn’t look away. (Not that I wanted to, but that’s beside the point).
I was standing right next to Jackie’s seat and Jesse stood in front of me. Other kids scrambled around the bus, naturally avoiding Jesse’s space so as not to bump into him, all the while trying to be the first person out. Someone knocked into me from behind, which pushed me closer to Jesse. Of course, no one ever accidentally ran into him. Jesse stared at me with the intense look and spoke quietly.
“You are good enough.” His words were so soft that I barely heard him, and I know he did this to avoid being heard by anyone else. By the time I processed what words he spoke, he was halfway out of the bus.
“Come on, Jackie,” I muttered, preoccupied with Jesse’s words, the look in his eyes, and the close proximity in which he had been standing just a few seconds ago.
Good enough for what? I wondered as Jackie and I left the bus and went to our classes.
And I wondered that for the rest of the day.
Classes were boring, as always. English, history, math, science, bleh. I wish they would teach us something important, or something cool. Sigh. The best part of the day was lunch, and even that was crap sometimes.
Today, though, the preps decided to leave us alone. I really don’t understand why we can’t just live and let them live. I mean, we don’t yell at them for not wearing black, so why do they have to yell at us for wearing black? Why should our appearance change what people think about us and how much worth they think we deserve? It was pure shit and I was sick of it. But I couldn’t do anything to change matters. I wasn’t going to change my style or my personality just so I wouldn’t get picked on. It wasn’t even the picking on that I minded, it was the fact that no one can be whoever they want to be without getting a bunch of crap for it. Honestly, what was the point? Ugh.
Even worse, we were having green bean casserole today. I hated green beans. They made me puke. Seriously.
So I just bought a drink and decided that I would buy something from the grocery store on my way home. Which reminded me…
“Hey, Jez, are you working today or are we hanging out at my place?” I sat down at our table, across from Jackie and next to Jesse, my normal spot. Our table was in the back of the cafeteria, farthest away from the exit door. We even pushed it closer to the corner. It was the perfect spot, out of the way, away from everyone, and the perfect view of everyone else.
“It’s Monday,” he answered with a blank look on his face.
“Working?” He nodded slightly. I nodded back. Ok, so I would eat something at the store. Whenever Jesse worked after school, I hung out with him at the store. Sometimes I helped, sometimes I did homework, mostly I just watched him stock shelves and bag items. Sometimes his uncle was there and he and I would hang out. Jesse’s uncle Pierre was awesome. He was so funny, so lively, very unlike Jesse. Pierre pretended to be French because of his name, and it was hilarious to watch him twirl and imaginary moustache and speak in a totally fake and crappy French accent. He was more fun than my dad, my dad was a dork. I still loved him, but Uncle Pierre was more like a friend.
“You coming today, Jac?” Jacqueline shook her head and kept writing. Man, she must have been on a roll.
“How long have you been writing?”
“Ten hours?!” I was incredulous. Obviously it wasn’t for ten hours straight, but she wrote as she walked, in the bus, during lunch… She must have had a lot to write.
She looked up from her notebook. “Well, I got the idea on Saturday and then I started it Sunday night and continued this morning. I just can’t stop right now.” She said all of that in one breath then went back to writing. That was another thing about Jackie. She could talk extremely fast, and she normally did. Either because she needed to return to her work quickly, or because she was excited and passionate about her work while describing it to someone.
Since Jackie was preoccupied with her work, I turned to talk to Jesse. This happened often. Sometimes I felt bad, because Jesse and I spent more time together than Jackie and I did, but most of the time it was because she was busy writing or something. And I spent a lot of time with her still. Jesse was my friend first, and we lived closer, so it made sense, I guess, but I still kind of felt bad sometimes. But I often made sure that Jackie knew we could hang out anytime she was free. Plus, we had most of our classes together. And we did do plenty of things without Jesse. Just not as often as Jesse and I hung out without Jackie. Although, if she had a problem with it, she never mentioned it, so I shouldn’t feel bad. Doesn’t mean I didn’t, though.
“Is Uncle Pierre working today?”
Jesse shook his head slightly. His hair moved across his forehead, brushing itself out of his eyes slightly. He shook his hair back into his eyes and looked at me with an extremely subtle smile. My mouth broke into a wide grin before I could stop it. His lips turned upwards a little bit more, not necessarily a happy smile, but more of a making-fun-of-me smile. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the bottle of soda I had bought. It was being stupid and wouldn’t open. Normally, I had no trouble opening bottles, but this lid was being very stubborn!
After a few tries, I tapped the edge of the lid against the table and tried unscrewing the lid again. It didn’t work. I flipped the bottle upside down and slammed the lid against the table. I did it a few time for good measure, then attempted to open it again. It still didn’t work.
I groaned in frustration, held the bottle up and dropped it against the table. The bubbles inside fizzed, but it still wouldn’t open.
By this time, my stomach was growling. I had only had chocolate milk for breakfast, and now my stupid soda was opening, grr! I tried dropping it against the table again, but when it didn’t work, I decided that I was being too nice to the bottle.
So I held it above the table and threw it down. The bottle hit against the table, instantly opening up and bouncing back up. Soda squirted from the bottle, shooting the lid across the room. I quickly grabbed the bottle and held it upright so no more would come out. I examined the bottle. I hadn’t even lost a quarter of the drink. That would be enough to keep me sane until after school, right?
I grinned smugly at the bottle and drank some. I could feel Jesse’s eyes watching me and I turned to look at him. He had this incredible look on his face, like he couldn’t believe what I had done and was considering sending me to a mental institution.
“What?” I shrugged and took another sip.
He blinked and shook his head.
“I thought it was going to spill everywhere and make you throw a fit.” His face returned to normal.
“Ha! I don’t throw… Ok, maybe I do. But the bottle was being an idiot! It wouldn’t open and I didn’t have a proper breakfast and green beans make me puke and if it had spilled, I would have had a good reason to throw a fit.” I suppose that was a mini fit, but oh well. Jesse thought I was crazy for abusing my bottle just to get it open. Oh, well. I gulped down more of my soda. The bell rang, startling me, which caused me to jump and soda filled my throat. I quickly set the bottle down and concentrated on swallowing before surrendering to the coughing fit that was waiting to happen. Students filed out of the cafeteria and soon, we were the only ones left. I downed the rest of my soda, tapped Jackie on the shoulder, and stood up. We walked out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. Before heading to his class, Jesse leaned close to me and spoke softly.
“You could have asked me to open it.” He didn’t even give me time to protest before walking off. I stood, dumbfounded, until Jackie looked up from her work.
“Are we supposed to go to class now?” I nodded and we started walking in the right direction. I wonder if Jackie had noticed the whole soda bottle fiasco in the cafeteria. She had noticed me staring after Jesse, battling his words in my head like some crazed lunatic.
I sighed and tried to focus on school, but it was hard. I didn’t care much about school, and I was just really out of it today. I didn’t know why, but I was.
One thing I knew was that I had to get over my pathetic crush on Jesse. I mean, it wasn’t anything new, but it also wasn’t anything possible, so I’d just have to forget about it. But I never really understood how you could get over someone when you see them every day. I mean, even if we were to move away, I would still think about him all the time. Unless, maybe, I had a boyfriend. I think the only true way to get over someone is to replace them with someone else. But there were several problems with that. First of all, that was kind of slutty. Second of all, it just made a vicious cycle. Third, and most importantly of all, I had no one else. No boyfriend, no one to like, no one to like me, no one. But I didn’t dwell on the fact. I had friends, and I would find someone some day, so I was ok. You know, for now. But that’s all we could hope for. To live life one day at a time. Ew, that sounds cliché. But seriously, if I sat around wishing for a boy friend (or, more likely, wishing Jesse could be my boyfriend) then I would miss out on what I did have. And what I have is awesome friends. Friends that were worth every moment I spent with them, friends that I loved spending time with.
Friends that would be pissed off if I didn’t get my act together and pay attention to what they were saying.
We were now outside of school, waiting for the last bus. We always took the last bus because less kids were on that bus, and the preps never ever took the last bus. We couldn’t help who occupied our space in the morning, but we could avoid certain people at the end of school.
“Ann? Anna? Annaleigh!” Jackie was speaking to me. I looked at her.
“Huh?” Jackie rolled her eyes.
“I was asking you what you thought of my drawing.” She tossed her notebook at me. I caught it and flipped it around the right way and looked at her drawing. It was awesome, even if it was a rough sketch done in pencil. It was a combination picture of a sad girl hidden behind a happy face. The details were very intricate, hard to explain, but held so much essence. You could see the pain the girl hid, you could see what she hid behind. Underneath the drawing were the words ‘This mask I hide behind is killing me.’ I handed the notebook back to Jackie.
“That’s insanely good.”
“Thanks. The quote is from a Seventh Day Slumber song. The next part in the quote goes, ‘There’s nothing left,’ so on the other side of this drawing, I’m going to draw something that shows how the mask of joy hid the girl’s true pain until she deteriorated into nothing.” See, that was why I loved Jackie. She could take anything and make it morbid, make you see the hidden pain. And she did it in such a beautiful and artistic way that you couldn’t find it creepy. It was stunning and beautiful, but never scary. Never disgusting, no matter how gory she got.
I smiled at her. “I love it.”
Jacqueline rolled her eyes at me and waved her hand. That was her way of saying ‘Yeah, I know you do. I love it too, but I’m being modest.’
I looked at Jesse. “What did you think of it?” I peered up at him, trying to look into his eyes through all the hair. He looked down at me and shrugged, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket.
“It was great.” He smiled at me slightly and shook his hair out of his eyes just enough for me to see that he was being serious. I figured he was, since Jackie’s drawings were always great, but he didn’t gush over it like I was doing in my head, so I wanted to make sure. And he had somehow known that. I really love how in sync we are, but sometimes it scares me and makes me think that he must know how pathetically in love with him I am. And sometimes it depresses me, cause really good couples are always in sync like that, so doesn’t that mean we would make a good couple? It was something I would never know. Something that I had to forget about because I would never find out.
“Oh, hey, my mom is picking me up because we’re supposed to go out and do some crap that I don’t want to do because I want to write but I have to do anyway so I might as well make the best of it, you know? So I won’t be taking the bus with you guys.” Jackie frowned slightly.
“Really? That bites.” She rolled her eyes and nodded. Then a car horn beeped and we looked over to see her mom’s car.
“There’s my cue. Bye, Jesse. Bye, Annaleigh.” She gave me a hug, grabbed her backpack, waved at us, and started walking towards her mom’s car. She turned around and looked at me, walking backwards slowly.
“By the way, Annaleigh, that soda thing at lunch today was really funny. Bye!” She spun back around and ran towards her mom’s car. I stared, wide-eyed until Jesse’s soft chuckle caught my attention. I turned to him.
“It was really funny.” He narrowed his eyes slightly, something he did when he was stopping a wide smile from spreading across his face. Odd. I thought my whole soda opening act ticked him off. It amused him? Hmm, well of course he wouldn’t have said it was funny in school. Duh.
I sighed. “Glad to be amusing.” I started walking towards the bus that had just arrived. Only three other people were on it, and none of them were sitting two rows ahead of the back seat, so I was able to pick which side I wanted. I sat on the opposite side of the one Jesse and I had sat in earlier, the side that Jackie and I normally sat in. (It was the left side if you were walking into the bus, the right side if you were sitting in the seat and facing the front of the bus).
I sat in the middle of the seat since no one else was around. I put my backpack on the floor on my right side. When I looked up, Jesse was sitting next to me. Surprised, I scooted closer to the window to give him more room. It reminded me of this morning, but in reverse. I wondered why Jesse decided to sit next to me when there were a dozen seats open, but I ignored my curiosity (and the thoughts it would lead to) and looked at him.
“Is Uncle Pierre working today?” I kept my voice low so that no one would hear unless they were specifically listening to us, since there were so few people and therefore not much noise, but my voice was nowhere near as low as a whisper, or as low as Jesse’s when he was truly trying to be quiet.
“Are we going to bother with homework or are we just hanging out?” I mentally scanned what homework I had. I didn’t have much, so I didn’t mind of we worked on it or waited until later.
Jesse seemed to be doing the same thing, but his mental process didn’t take as energy as mine did; his face never changed, he never made thinking faces. I knew my thinking faces were ridiculous and dorky.
He shrugged. “It’s up to you.” I sighed. I didn’t feel like making the decision then, so I figured we would see how it went once we got to the grocery store.
The bus stopped at our stop and we got out. We were the last people out, because our stop was last in the route. It was kind of cool how it worked out that way.
We began the trek to the grocery store, walking in silence. It was warmer now, because it was later in the day and the sun was shining high over head. A light wind blew by, reminding me of this morning. I glanced over at Jesse. He was walking like he did in school; his hands were in his jacket pockets, his head was down, glancing up in front of him occasionally in a way that kept his hair over his face. It was really hot. At school it intimidated people, but now it made me feel like he needed a hug. I kept my arms to myself, though, for I knew he wouldn’t appreciate a hug unless he asked for it, and he would never ask for a hug. Instead, I sneaked glances at him as we walked. I was trying to think of something to say. There was always so much that I wanted to say, but so little that he would say, so I had to prioritise. Sometimes he was talkative, though, and I loved those moments a lot. I wanted to ask him why he sat next to me so much, but I feared the answer, or how he would respond to my query. I wanted to bring up the lunch thing and ask if he meant his ‘you could have asked me to open it’ offer to be sexist, signifying that I was weak and he was strong, or if he was just being nice. But I knew he would never refer to himself as nice, even though he truly was the nicest person I knew.
“Thanks,” I found myself blurting out. Jesse looked up at me suddenly, as if he had forgotten I was there, though I know he hadn’t.
“For what?” Suddenly I felt stupid for expressing my gratitude.
“Um, you know, for giving me your jacket this morning.” I fidgeted slightly. He looked down at his jacket then back at me.
“Oh. Uh, no problem. Eh. You would have done the same.” He shrugged and went back to looking down at the road. I blushed. Yes, I would have. But I never would have expected him to do it, and it was a wonderful thing to do. His jacket was so nice. So soft, so warm, so comfortable… I imagine it was like what a hug from him would be. Perfect.
“What did you mean when you told me that I could have asked you to open my soda bottle? I know it couldn’t possibly have been a nice gesture, because you don’t do that in school. Were you voicing your doubt on my ability to open a simple soda bottle? Teasing me for opening it in a creative way when it wouldn’t open? What was it?” I hadn’t meant to ask him, and I certainly hadn’t meant for my voice to take on an annoyed edge, but that’s what happened. I stopped walking and turned to face him. He stopped too and took a step close to me, looking into my eyes. He looked surprised by my query, and a bit upset. I blinked and looked away.
Suddenly, his hand was grabbing my chin softly and pulling my face back up to look at his. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before he spoke.
“I wasn’t trying to downplay your ability to open soda bottles in any way. I thought you should know that I would have opened it, had you asked. I didn’t know if you would have asked me to open it if you needed someone to help you, and I wanted you to know that I would have, and I wouldn’t have made fun of you because I’m certain that you thought that’s what I would have done. I didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t ask me to help you because you were afraid of what I might do or say.” He let go of my face and backed away, turning away from me to resume walking. I blinked rapidly and shook my head, trying to process his words. It truly was a nice gesture. In school. And now he was making sure that I didn’t think he would treat me like everyone else in school while we were in school. Not that I thought he would; the thought of him helping me never even crossed my mind. But now that I knew…
“Am I really that much of a bastard to you in school?” His softly spoken question caught me off guard. I stopped dead in my tracks.
“What?” I stared at him incredulously. He kept walking, but turned his head back to look at me.
“You heard me.” I jogged up to him and walked next to him.
“No. What makes you say that?” I was peering closely at his face to decipher anything that he wouldn’t say.
“Because you said I couldn’t possibly have made a nice gesture in school.” He stopped walking again and turned towards me. I stopped too. He took a step towards me.
“Is that true?” His voice was practically a whisper. His eyes were troubled, bothered.
“I don’t think so.” He frowned and continued walking. I walked past him slightly and began walking backwards so I could watch his face as I walked. I touched his arm lightly.
“If it is, Jez, I understand.” I tried to convey with my eyes that I didn’t care if he was mean to me in school because he gave me much more than I hoped for when we weren’t in school. I wasn’t going to ask him or expect him to be nice all the time. And I never thought of him as mean.
He looked at my hand, the one that had just touched his arm, and back up at me. He still looked unhappy, but he seemed to believe me. I was about to reassure him that I didn’t think he treated me like everyone else at school, but suddenly I was on my back.
“Annaleigh!” I heard Jesse yell, but I was still realising that I was on the ground. Now Jesse was standing in front of, looking at me with worry. I could feel the confusion on my face. He leaned down and grabbed me gently by the arms, pulling me up. When he let go, I almost toppled over again, but I kept my balance. I looked down at the ground. The small log that Jesse had hopped over this morning was there. I had tripped over it while I was walking backwards. Yes, I was the smartest person in the world. Sarcasm.
“Are you ok, Naleigh?” Jesse’s blue eyes peered into mine intensely with concern.
“Ugh,” was my reply as I tried to brush all the dirt off my backside. “Stupid road,” I muttered. When I looked back up at Jesse, all traces of concern were gone. He looked amused now and suddenly I felt self-conscious. Had I really just rubbed my hands all over my arse in front of him!? I was getting the dirt off, but still. I shook my bangs out in front of my eye, trying not to blush. Jesse picked a twig out of the longest side of my bangs and let it drop to the ground. I could do nothing but stare at him. His hand had just touched my hair. Near my face. Squeal and die much? I think so.
Jesse smiled slightly and we continued walking. This time, I walked forwards and watched where I was going. When I wasn’t stealing peeks at Jesse, of course. I truly was pathetic. Oh well, I was lucky. All the girls at school snuck looks at Jesse. But he didn’t care about any of them, he didn’t care about anyone at school except me and Jackie. And Jesse was closer to me than he was Jackie. I might be pathetic, but I wasn’t the only one, I was just the lucky one. I loved it.
When we reached the grocery store, it was busy. I looked at Jesse sympathetically. He shrugged.
Secretly, I was happy. On busy days, the staff let me help out, which made it easier to be around Jesse because they pretty much gave me whatever task he had. Otherwise, I would just sit and wait for him or follow him around and get on his nerves. So I liked it when it was busy, cause then I could work too.
We walked in the store and headed straight for the back, where Jesse would clock in and we would grab our aprons. Yes, aprons. The little aprons they give you as a uniform, telling the customers that you worked there. They were a bit dorky, sure, but they gave me a sense of belonging when I wore one. And, of course, Jesse looked hot in one. And I’m not the only one who thought so, so you can stop thinking those thoughts about me and how I’m a typical teenage girl who’s in love with her best friend and constantly describes him as hot, no matter what he does. Stop. Stop thinking that. I’m not like that.
“Hey, Pam,” I greeted the manager while I waited for Jesse to clock in. I stood near the aprons, knowing that I was going to be wearing one today, but waiting to be told to slip on one.
“Anna, doll, I’m glad you came today. Would you mind…?” She didn’t even have to finish her sentence, for I was already grabbing an apron. Pam smiled at me.
“Thanks, Anna, doll.” Pam always called me ‘Anna, doll.’ It was a bit annoying, but she was nice, so I let it slide. I picked up Jesse’s apron and tossed it to him when I heard his footsteps approaching behind me. Now, don’t start thinking that I knew his footsteps apart from everyone else’s, he was the only person in the back room besides me and Pam, who had left after ensuring that I would be helping.
We slipped on our aprons and went to work. Today, we were grocery baggers. Jesse automatically stationed himself at the line farthest away from the door, the line that was practically hidden in groceries. I went to the line next to him. The only other grocery bagger there was a lady we never talked to and who never talked to us, so Jesse and I ignored her and talked to each other. Not that we talked much since we were working, but we made plans to do homework at my house after we were done with our shifts.
The way I talk, it seems like I truly do work at the grocery store. I’ve considered getting a job there, but I don’t really need a job, and I know my shift wouldn’t be the same as Jesse’s. I’d rather just bother him while he’s working, or help out when I’m needed. I’d get sick of the grocery store if I worked there for real, and I didn’t want that to happen. So I stayed jobless. I probably wouldn’t keep a job for long anyway. I mean, I had school, friends, and writing. A job would be too much work. Ha.
Jesse wasn’t talkative at the moment, so I let my mind wander as I bagged groceries. A lot had happened today to boggle my mind. Jesse made me wear his jacket, touched my hand, offered to do something nice at school, sat next to me three times, got upset when he thought I thought he wouldn’t be nice during school, looked at my hand after it touched his arm, showed concern for me falling, picked a twig out of my hair, and smiled. Smiled a lot. I mean, he was always nice to me and I saw him smile and care a lot more than other people did. But for some reason, it seemed odd today. Nothing was different though. He ignores people at school, and is good friends with me and Jackie. But it felt different today for some reason. Though it shouldn’t. It was always like this. It wasn’t like he was suddenly being nice to me or anything. We’d been friends since the first years of teenhood. Maybe I was just making it to be something more than it was. Subconsciously, though? I don’t think so. If I was trying to make it seem like things were different between us, it would be on purpose, like if I was trying to delude myself into thinking he liked me. I certainly wasn’t doing that. I was trying to convince myself not to like him anymore.
Today was no different than any other day. Just because he offered me his jacket didn’t make his intentions different. Friends did that for friends. And we were friends. I should have expected it, honestly. I guess Jesse still surprises me sometimes, even though I know him better than anyone else. Is that possible? I mean, we’re such good friends that I can guess what he’s thinking with the subtlest of looks, but new actions caught me off guard? That just didn’t seem right. And because it was unexpected, I was stupidly reading too much into it. Sigh. When would I ever learn? Sure, I tell myself how stupid it is to like him and how lucky I am to even know him this well, but it didn’t stop me from feeling what I felt. If only.
But now I’m getting sick of my thoughts and they’re really hard to explain without making Jesse sound like someone he wasn’t, or making our friendship sound different than it was, so I’m just going to describe Pam now, since I didn’t before.
Pam is the manager of the grocery store. Jesse’s uncle is the owner. The owner who still works there sometimes. Odd, I know, but it wasn’t like he was the owner of some big corporation, he was the owner of a small store in a small town. Anyway, where was I?
Pam. Pam was a middle aged woman, heavyset, always wearing a smile and red shoes. She believed that every woman should own a pair of red shoes because they were empowering, or something like that. Whenever she found a pair of shoes that were red, she always bought them. No matter how crazy or dorky they looked. It was sort of her personality trait. She was a really nice woman, always ready to give you a free doughnut or a shoulder to cry on. She would have made the best mother, but she never had kids. She never even had a husband. She and her sister ran away from home when they were young because their father abused them. They came all the way from New York in America to here in Arden. Pam never told me what happened to her sister, and I expected it was nothing good, so I never asked. I found it incredible how much strength Pam had to run away so far at a young age. She wasn’t even a teenager when she left. But she had a happy life now, and she never complained about anything. She was always there if you needed her, and she somehow made you feel like you needed her even if you didn’t. I had always expected that she and Uncle Pierre liked each other and I had fantasised about different ways to bring them together, but I really didn’t want to stick my nose where it didn’t belong. At least not in such a big way. Besides, they seemed happy by themselves. Uncle Pierre had us and the store, and so did Pam. Which is another reason I thought they belonged together, but I wasn’t going to interfere. Yet.
Soon, Jesse and I’s shifts were over and we returned our aprons to their hooks, gave Pam a hug (at least, I did) and left.
It was always hard for me to walk back to Aragain without staring at Lake Kashwakamak for the entire walk, and today was no exception. I know it made more sense to hurry to the lodge so I could sit at the dock and stare at the lake in all its beauty, but I just had to watch it as I walked as if it would disappear or something. I didn’t actually believe that it would vanish if I stopped looking at it, but I peered at it so intensely that I’m sure anyone who was watching me would think that I thought it would go poof if I looked away.
Before leaving the store, Jesse and I had grabbed two coffees. Hot and black for him, iced with lots of sugar for me. I stared at the lake as I sipped, completely ignoring Jesse but not on purpose. He was used to it, anyway.
But what he wasn’t used to was me losing my footing and walking sideways into him while looking at the lake. Which is exactly what I did today. I crashed into him but managed not to fall over completely, which was only because he caught me on instinct, accidentally dumping his coffee all over my shirt.
“Sorry,” I apologised for hitting into him before realising that I was suddenly on fire.
“Oh, ouch!” I grabbed at the front of my shirt with the hand that wasn’t holding my own coffee and pulled it out enough for it to stop making contact with my skin. It soothed the burning a little bit, but the coffee was still hot against my skin. It wasn’t scorching or scalding, thank goodness, but it wasn’t comfortable.
“Gah.” I waved my shirt back and forth in my hand, trying to fan myself and cool down the coffee. I was suddenly grateful that I had decided against wearing one of my low cut tops today, but I was still pretty sure it looked like I was trying to flash my boobs to Jesse. I definitely was not trying to do that.
Suddenly, I stopped jerking my hand around like an idiot and just held my shirt away from my skin, content to wait until the coffee cooled. I looked at Jesse, who was trying so hard not to laugh. It should have annoyed me, but it didn’t.
“Go on.” I smiled and Jesse burst out into laughter. Not loud, obnoxious laughter though, and it was over in a few seconds. A few seconds too soon if you ask me, but you didn’t, so there.
“I’m sorry, Annaleigh. Are you ok?” Jesse was still smiling, amused by my shirt waving no doubt. (And he was apologising for laughing, not for spilling his coffee on me. We both knew that was my fault).
“Yeah, yeah, of course. I know I looked like a dork.” I rolled my eyes at him and smiled. The coffee had finally cooled and I let go of my shirt, letting it settle against my skin tighter than before because it was wet.
“Well, that’s one way to get a glimpse of a girl’s boobs. Guys around the world will want to know your secret, Jez.” I shook my head slightly, still smiling and continued walking.
Jesse frowned at my words, but he knew I was teasing him. Although, I have to wonder why it made him frown. Was it because he was using the opportunity to glance at my boobs? No, of course not, Jesse wasn’t like that. Then maybe it was because I had made the suggestion. Oh, he knew I was kidding. Of course I was, ew.
“You’d think that after one mishap, you’d learn to watch where you’re going, but no. Two catastrophes in one day. All because you weren’t watching where you were going.” Jesse shook his head at me disapprovingly. I stuck my tongue out at him.
“We’re not done walking yet, dude. There’s time for a third accident.”
Jesse made a mock panicked face. “Please, no. I hate to think of what would happen next.” Fake fear crossed his face before he erased it, sticking his tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes.
“Ha ha.” He smiled at my sarcasm.
Despite our teasing, the rest of our walk back to Aragain was uneventful.
“Mom! I’m home!” I screamed as I threw open the front door.
“Jeez, Annaleigh! Can you try lowering the volume? You about gave me a heart attack. Hi, Jesse.”
“We’ll be upstairs, Mom. We have homework.” I turned to go upstairs. When my parents adopted me, they had a second story addition built onto the house. I pretty much had the upstairs to myself, and they had the downstairs to themselves.
“Ok, honey. Not too loud.” I waved my hand at her. She knew full well that music was never too loud. If it’s too loud, you’re too old, eh?
Jesse and I always listened to music while we did homework. We usually listened to Skillet, Hawthorne Heights, Alesana, Dashboard Confessional, Paramore, Hawk Nelson, and The Devil Wears Prada. We each had a ton of favourite bands, but those were our usuals.
I dumped my backpack onto my bed and walked over to the iPod dock sitting on my desk. I grabbed my iPod, selected shuffle, and put it in the dock. I turned to my door and shut it before turning up the volume. I grabbed the dock remote and walked over to my bed where Jesse was already sitting, pulling books out of his backpack. I sat cross legged next to him and shuffled through my books.
“What are we doing first?” I sighed. I hated doing homework. I know it was important, but just ugh.
Jesse shrugged. “I don’t have much work.” He blinked and shook his hair out of his eyes.
“Me neither.” I returned my attention to my books so as not to stare at him. I picked up my math book and dropped it onto the floor, scowling at it slightly. I pushed my English book to the side, I would write my essay later when Jesse wasn’t here. We were covering reproduction in biology, for what reason I did not know since we already heard everything before, so there was no way I was going to study biology with Jesse. That left history. I sighed. History was boring. I tossed my history book at Jesse and leaned against my pillows.
Jesse leaned back against my pillows as well and opened my book. He flipped to the right section and turned to look at me.
“Leader of the French revolution.”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know.”
“First president of the United States.”
“I don’t know.”
Jesse closed the book with a thump and tossed it onto the edge of the bed with all the other books. He turned towards me, propping himself up on his elbow.
“What’s up?” I sighed and slid down my pillows to a laying down position and folded my hands on my stomach.
“I’m just not in the mood for schoolwork right now.” I looked up at Jesse. He blinked and turned over onto his back, sliding down my pillows to lie next to me. We stared at the ceiling and listened to the music blaring from my speakers.
“Tu es un, bonjour, oui oui,” I said with the song. It was ‘Hello’ by Hawk Nelson, and that little part was the extent of my knowledge of the French language. It basically meant ‘you are one, hello, yes yes’ so it didn’t make any sense, but it went with the song. It was a good song, too.
“Tu madre,” Jesse retorted. I looked over at him and rolled my eyes.
“That’s Spanish.” I said while giggling. He grinned.
“I know.” We smiled at each other for awhile until the song changed and he groaned.
“Change it!” He grabbed one of my pillows and squished it against his ears.
“No, I like it.” I teased him.
“You like the Barbie Girl song?” He stared at me like I was crazy. I laughed and pressed the skip button on the remote. He removed the pillow from his ears and shook his head at me.
“You are the weirdest person I have ever met.” I took my pillow back from him and sighed.
“I know.” I pouted, trying to distract him so I could catch him off guard. He stared at my pout and frowned. Then I whacked him in the head with the pillow. He looked surprised.
“You did not just do that.” I laughed and raised the pillow again. He grabbed my wrist and yanked the pillow away from me with an evil gleam in his eye.
“No!” I screamed and launched myself off the bed. I tried to scramble underneath my bed to hide, but there was so much crap under there. Suddenly, he pulled my ankles and dragged me out from under the bed. I had only made it halfway. Fail.
I was squealing in fear and laughter as I looked up at him. He lay across my bed on his stomach, leaning over partially. His arms reach out towards me and grabbed me.
“No!” I was squealing and laughing so hard that I couldn’t even form one word. Jesse grinned and began tickling me. I squeaked and squirmed, trying to get away from him, but he had a solid hold on me.
“Stop tickling me! Don’t tickle me!” Half of my words were lost in my laughter.
“What don’t you want me to do?” Jesse teased.
“Tickle me!” He tilted his head.
“Tickle you? Okay!” He tickled me harder. I tried to shove my foot against the bed to scoot away from him, but he somehow kept me where I was.
“No! Stop it.” I giggled. “Jez, stop!” Jesse, still laying on my bed, picked me up from the floor and set me on my bed. When my laughter died down, I turned to him and glared. He was sitting on my bed innocently, as if nothing had happened.
“You suck.” I scowled at him. He laughed dismissively. I rolled my eyes at him and swatted his shoulder.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I warned him.
“Okay,” he agreed. He always agreed not to tickle me again after tickling me. It was like a game, I guess. We lay in silence for awhile, staring at the ceiling again and listening to my iPod. Suddenly Jesse spoke.
“Your shirt still has coffee on it.” I blinked. I had totally forgotten. I looked down at my shirt. It was brown, sticking to my skin where it was wet. You could totally see my bra right through. I squeaked slightly and stood up, walking over to my closet. I couldn’t tell, but I thought I heard Jesse laugh lightly.
I rummaged through my closet, looking for a shirt. I decided on my black Underoath shirt that had a pink X on it. It would match what I was wearing. I stepped into my closet, facing away from Jesse, and stripped my shirt off. I pulled on the Underoath shirt quickly, though I didn’t really care if Jesse saw the back of my bra. I knew he wasn’t looking, anyway. I turned around, bent down to pick up my coffee stained shirt and ran it down to the laundry room. I sprayed stain remover on it and left it on the washer. My mom would put it in with the next load and inform me when it was done so I could look at it before it went into the dryer to be sure that the stain didn’t set. I raced back upstairs, but when I threw open my door, Jesse was nowhere to be found. I frowned, confused. His backpack and all his books were still on my bed and my floor. I shrugged and shut the door behind me. Suddenly two hands poked my waist and a voice whispered ‘Boo.’ I jumped a foot in the air and yelled.
“Holy…!” I spun around to face Jesse who was laughing uncontrollably. “Jesse! That was not funny.” I yelled at him. He kept giggling softly. I groaned and walked to my bed and sat down. Jesse followed and sat next to me.
“I’m sorry, Annaleigh, I had to.” I rolled my eyes at him, trying to stop myself from smiling. He grinned at me and all attempts were futile. I grinned back.
“Dinner!” My mom yelled up the steps. My stomach suddenly grumbled. I had forgotten to get something to eat at the grocery store. The only thing I’ve consumed all day was liquids, then.
“Coming!” I yelled down and turned to Jesse. “You staying?” He nodded. I walked over to my iPod dock and turned it off, smiling. We ran down the stairs where spaghetti was waiting.
“Woo hoo!” I yelled as I danced to my seat. I grabbed two pieces of garlic bread, shoving one into my mouth whole.
“Annaleigh,” My mom scolded. I shrugged and chewed. Jesse looked at me with an amused smile. I stuck my tongue out at him, forgetting that my mouth was full of food. Half of the garlic bread fell out of my mouth and onto the table. I quickly scooped it up and shoved it back into my mouth. Jesse made a disgusted face at me. I gave him a dirty look and picked up our glasses, walked over to the fridge, and filled them with soda.
“Are we ready to eat civilly now, Annaleigh?” My mom asked. I nodded relunctantly, earning an eye roll from her and Jesse.
“You guys suck.” I shoved a meatball into my mouth.
“What is it with you and using that adjective, honey? Everything always ‘sucks’ or ‘bites.’ It’s like you’re—“
“Okay, Mom,” I cut her off. “I won’t say ‘suck’ at the dinner table.” She was going to say something about how it was like I was making it into a pun, what with my having vampire genes and all. Oh, Jesse doesn’t know that I’m a vampire slash human. Why would I tell my best friend something that would scare him off? My mom thought I should tell him, but I just wasn’t willing to give up our friendship, you know? Besides, it was the only secret I kept from him other than the fact that I liked him. And both secrets I kept so that way we could continue being friends. So I thought it was a good idea on my part, eh?
I filled up on spaghetti and garlic bread, forgetting to save room for dessert. Ha, not like we had any. We had the Half Jos Louie snack cakes from the grocery store, but I usually ate them while I did my homework or something creative down by the lake. After dinner, Jesse and I decided to go down to the lodge and swing. I ran upstairs to grab a jacket first. It would get dark in a couple of hours, and it would get colder.
Jesse and I walked across the road and started heading towards the slight hill that would bring us to Aragain Lodge. He hopped over the fence with ease, but I decided not to try because I knew I would fall over. It had happened before. As we walked down the hill, the wind blew. It was a very chilly wind. I put my hood and on crossed my arms over my chest, trying to stop my teeth from chattering. I liked cold, I really did. But my stupid teeth had to chatter and make it seem like I was uncomfortable in the cold. Jesse looked over at me, trying to determine if I was unhappy about being cold. I smiled at him, but the wind blew again and made my teeth chatter. I could only begin to imagine how dorky that must have looked. Once we got into the sun, it seemed warmer. I took my hood off and uncrossed my arms. It was unfair how the cold made me act. I liked being cold mostly. But when a simple gust of wind made me shiver, it made it seem like I hated the cold or something. Grr.
When Jesse and I got down to the lodge, someone was on the swings. There were only two swings and a baby swing. We had an unspoken rule; if one swing was taken then we would wait instead of offering the other swing to one another. We swung together or not at all. Except for when he wasn’t here and I swung by myself. So we headed to the hammock instead. I walked around the tree to sit on the side closer to the lake. I sat down and leaned against the hammock, stretching my legs out across my side. I sat facing the ninth cabin, facing away from the main hangout section with the chairs. Jesse lay down opposite me, facing away from the ninth cabin and towards the main hangout section. I checked the netting behind my head for bugs, saw none, and rested my head on the hammock. I placed my left leg on the ground and kicked the ground back and forth, swinging us. The air moving back and forth made it colder, but I liked it. The Canadian air was beautiful and I loved breathing it in, feeling it circulate in my lungs. I closed my eyes and concentrated on feeling the air, how it moved from swinging and how it moved as I breathed. It was very calming, and it put me to sleep on multiple occasions.
At night, whenever I had trouble sleeping, it was very tempting to come down here swing myself to sleep, but night was extremely cold and there were raccoons. I sighed contentedly and opened my eyes to avoid falling asleep. Jesse was staring at me. I couldn’t read what was on his face, but it seemed like it was just observation. I gave him a small smile and stretched across the hammock more. When you swung, you slid down. And when you slid down, the bottom often scraped against the stub of wood from the tree that was underneath the bottom of the hammock. It wasn’t very comfortable for the arse, and I feared that it would rip the netting. So to avoid that happening, you had to routinely stretch yourself out on the hammock. It was actually a very funny process, because the hammock would rock up and down instead of back and forth, and if you adjusted at the same time as your hammock partner, you risked bumping heads. When you took turns adjusting, the movement of adjusting pushed you closer to the middle and thus closer to whoever you were in the hammock with. I liked adjusting.
After I adjusted, Jesse did too and soon, our sides were resting against each others’. It definitely warmed everything up. I felt very comfy like that. Jesse didn’t seem to mind it either. I pulled my iPod out of my jacket pocket and offered him an ear bud. He took it and I used the other one. After a few songs from shuffle, I got bored so I gave him my iPod. He scrolled through stuff for awhile before putting on Skillet’s Comatose album. It was their best album, in my opinion. I loved Comatose. I often wished that I had a person that could be what the album-titled song sang about when I listened to it. Lying next to Jesse on the hammock while listening to the song was fire underneath my already burning crush on him. I suppose it would have been smart to stop entertaining such thoughts and force myself to stop liking him so that I wouldn’t get my heart crushed, but it was easier said than done. And there really was no harm in a simple crush, eh?
“Half Jos Louie?” Jesse pulled two of the snack cakes out of his jacket pocket and offered me one. I took it, smiling.
“Did you sneak those out of my house?” He grinned and bit into his Half Jos Louie. I shook my head at him and unwrapped mine. We ate our snack cakes in silent, staring at the lake. When I was finished with my Half Jos Louie, I stood up and walked down to the dock. Halfway there, I turned my head slightly to see Jesse following me. I turned my head back to the lake and smiled. I walked down the dock to the edge, praying that Jesse wouldn’t suddenly decide to push me in. I sat down at the end of the dock, took off my socks and shoes, rolled up my skinny jeans as high as they would go (about mid calf) and put my feet in the water. Jesse sat next to me and did the same. I swished my feet around in water gently, loving the feeling of the water swirling around my skin. I kicked my feet a little, sending water droplets in Jesse’s general direction. Jesse reached into the water and grabbed some seaweed (actually, lake weed) and dumped it on my lap.
“Eew!” I squealed and thrust it back into the water. Jesse laughed. I rolled up my sleeve, stuck my arm into the lake, and grabbed a lot more lake weed than he had. I smiled smugly at him, waving my fistful of lake weed around in the air. Jesse gave me the don’t-you-dare look, but I figured that it was time for some payback. I dumped all of the lake weed on his head. He gasped and shook his head violently, splattering me with the lake weed.
“Ick. Jesse,” I protested. He turned to me with a deathly glare.
“You did not just get the hair.” Jesse made his voice sound high and girly, totally mimicking a prep.
“Yo, betch, you forgot the Z snap.” I proceeded to snap in a Z formation to show him, but was caught off guard when he beat me to it. His face looked so serious, as if he really was a prep or something like that. I burst out laughing. Full-on laughter, too. I waved my hand around, slapped my knee, kicked my feet, threw my head back, the whole bit. It was frickin’ hilarious! Except that I almost giggled myself right off the dock. I was just about to calm down from laughing when I felt more water on my legs.
“Ah!” I squealed, realising that I was about to fall in, but knowing that I was too late to do anything about it. Suddenly and arm wrapped around my waist and pulled my up onto the dock. The second I was plopped onto the wood, I heard a splash. I looked in the direction of the noise to see Jesse in the lake. My eyes widened.
“Oh my! Jesse, are you ok?” I stretched my hand out to help him, but he ignored it and hoisted himself up onto the dock easily. He was completely wet up to his shoulders. He sat on the dock with his teeth chattering violently. I looked at him.
“Are you ok?”
“Was your iPod in your jacket pocket?” He took off his wet jacket and proceeded to squeeze it out. I nodded.
“It was worth it.” He smiled at me, but I didn’t feel comforted. It must have been freezing. I quickly stripped off my jacket and handed it to him, preparing to force him to wear it if needed. He gave me a look, but he took my jacket without a word. It didn’t stop his teeth from chattering much, though. I took a breath and decided to act quickly, before I thought too much and stopped myself. I scooted closer to him, wrapped my arm his waist, and stretched my legs out across his lap. My left arm was lying across his back, with my left hand resting on his ribs. I put my right arm across his chest, holding onto his left shoulder, as if he was carrying me. I curled my legs up so they were against his as much as possible. I laid my head against his right shoulder. I was trying to warm him up as much as possible. (Ok, ok, I admit. It was very comfy). I knew it would be smarter and warmer for us to go back to the house so he could change into dry clothes, but I don’t think either of us was ready to go inside yet. So we just sat there for awhile. I wasn’t sure if I was keeping him warm enough, but it was the best I could do, and he wasn’t complaining. Plus, he only shivered occasionally now. I sighed contentedly and suppressed a giggle when Jesse shivered at the exact same time. There was a slight smile on my face as I pulled myself closer to him. I tried to do it as subtly as possible, but I think he noticed. He moved his head towards me a fraction of an inch but then continued looking straight ahead at the lake. My neck was beginning to hurt from being craned to look at the lake, so I just let my head rest against his shoulder completely, which gave me a close-up of the side of Jesse’s neck. I was oddly pleased to see no visible stubble. Facial hair was disgusting and disturbing, you know? Well, it’s not like it should have mattered to me, but I guess I was tired. Or coming down from a sugar crash. In those cases, my mind would register one little detail and go off on random subjects. I sometimes surprised myself at what thoughts connected. If I stuck my tongue out right now, I would be licking Jesse. Hah, prime vampire point – the jugular. Well, I guess it’s a good thing that I’m not an actual bloodsucking vampire, or Jesse would be in danger. Instead, I was just comfortably close to him. Probably inappropriately close, considering my gigantic crush on him, but my heart could take it. My heart would have to take it, because I wasn’t moving unless forced to. I moved my left arm up so it was across the back of his shoulders and both of my hands were on his left shoulder. Unexpectedly, Jesse wrapped his arms around me lightly. I pushed myself closer to him, causing him to tighten his grip slightly. I closed my eyes and tried hard not to smile. With my eyes closed, I could feel the beat of his heart in his neck veins and hear each breath he took. I slowed my own breathing so I could hear better and willed my heart to beat in rhythm with his. Ha, as if it worked that way. It was very comforting and pretty soon, I found myself in a deep slumber.
Light pricked at my eyelids, forcing them open. I groaned and rolled over, only to find that I didn’t have as much room on my bed as I thought I did. What the crap?! I snapped my eyes open to see Jesse’s sleeping figure. My heart suddenly melted and started beating faster at the same time. I blinked rapidly, trying to figure out why Jesse was here. I mean, he often spent the night over here, ever since we first knew each other, but he normally slept on the floor. (Not completely on the floor, I had a sleeping bag and millions of blankets and pillows). I didn’t mind his new sleeping arrangement, since it was freezing outside and his body heat made the bed warmer. I pulled the covers around me tighter, carefully so as not to wake Jesse. It wasn’t time to get up and get ready for school yet, so I figured I’d let him sleep and try to do the same. I noticed that he was wearing a different set of clothes. Jesse had a few sets of clothes stashed here for when he came over. I drifted towards him slightly, hoping to get close enough to soak in his warmth without waking him. I sighed softly, staring at his perfect hair. I was tired enough to drift in and out of an almost-sleep, but too awake to actually fall asleep. My mind wandered and roamed, being scarily random. I thought of all the reasons why I couldn’t tell Jesse that I liked him, thought about the many different things that would happen if I did, all the love songs I wish I could relate to us, and all the heartbroken songs that did relate to my feelings of us and how the ‘us’ would never exist. It was truly odd how I could be depressed and content at the same time. It was sort of scary, like a mild form of bipolarity, but it was normal for me. For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic. I swear Paramore wrote that song title just for me. Except I wasn’t sure if I was an optimistic pessimist, or a pessimistic optimist. I had always called myself an optimist, but I was pessimistic about some things and at some times. But then I couldn’t call myself a pessimist either, because I had my optimistic moments too. It was confusing, but I supposed it was normal so I didn’t worry too much.
When it was closer to being time to wake up, I very carefully slid out of my bed to go to the bathroom. Jesse was still asleep when I got back, so I tried to slip back into my bed without any movement or sound. It was a slow and difficult process, but I managed it pretty well. Until my body decided that I had been out of the covers long enough and started to shiver. I spread the blankets all around me, making sure I was completely covered, but my body still shook slightly. Eh, stupid piece of crap.
Jesse’s eyes opened slowly at first, then flew open when he recognised where he was.
“H-h-hi-i-i,” I tried to say. Jesse seemed to realise that I wasn’t upset or uncomfortable in any way and relaxed. He smiled at me. I pushed myself closer to the middle of the bed, attracted to his body heat like a moth was attracted to sun light. Ew, I just compared myself to a frickin’ bug. I stopped a few inches away from Jesse, unsure how close I should get. Jesse reached out towards me with his right arm and placed it on my back, like someone would place their hand on their dancing partner. I took it as an invitation to scoot closer and did so quickly. He tightened his hold on me slightly. I made sure my knees were completely straight, so there wouldn’t be anything between me and his warmth. I had my fists clenched together underneath my neck near my collarbone, with my arms crossing over my chest slightly. I shoved my face into his chest and tried to stop shivering. Jesse slid his left arm under my ribs and pulled me closer, wrapping me into a hug sort of. Pretty soon, I had warmed up and stopped shivering. Part of me was sad, because I knew that Jesse and I would separate. I looked up at Jesse, feeling sort of embarrassed for forcing myself onto him like that. He grinned at me, but there was an underlying worry in his face.
I shrugged. “For now.” I smiled. “Thanks.”
“Well, it was my turn.”
“You warmed me up last night. And then you fell asleep.” He smirked for a second, but his face filled with worry again.
“Well, it was my fault you fell into the lake. Thanks for that too, by the way.”
“I carried you here and you told me to stay. I didn’t know if…” Jesse’s first sentence was rushed, as if he was making a reasonable excuse for something bad. He trailed off at the end, closed his eyes and sighed.
“That’s what you were worried about?” He nodded slowly. I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t remember doing it, but I told you to stay, so I must have wanted you to stay.” I smiled.
“Yeah, but I didn’t know exactly where you meant, but you seemed to be cold then too so I wanted to stay near you, and I know you trust me not to do anything because I wouldn’t ever do anything, but I wasn’t sure how you felt about waking up to see me lying next to you and not remembering why.” He took a much-needed deep breath. I processed his words and giggled. He frowned.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… You had nothing to worry about. I don’t care whether you sleep on my bed or on my floor. Sometimes when you stay over, I want to ask you to sleep up here with me because it’s so damn cold but I never do because I don’t know how you would feel about that or what you would think about me asking that, and I just don’t know what I’m saying anymore… But I don’t care if you sleep here, that’s all I’m saying.” Stupid words. Stupid, stupid words. Why did I say that I sometimes wanted to ask him to sleep on my bed with me? Even for warmth purposes. Stupid thing to say. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Jesse smiled slightly. “Okay then.” All traces of worry were gone from his face, replaced by amusement and relief. And possibly something I couldn’t decipher.
I looked over at my clock and groaned. It was about time to start getting ready for school. And since I had fallen asleep before taking a shower last night, I had to take one now. I hated taking morning showers. Reluctantly, I rolled out of bed, ignoring the cold that hit me suddenly.
“I’ll be as quick as I can, but I don’t know if we’re going to be walking today, Jez.” I said wistfully. He half-smiled.
“Should I have woken you up last night for a shower?”
I pondered for a minute then shook my head. “I probably would have yelled at you for waking me up and then gone back to sleep, or something.” Jesse and I smiled, knowing that I was probably correct in that analysis. I walked over to my closet and picked out some random stuff that looked promising before walking out of my room and into my bathroom. I tried to hurry in the shower, but shampooing my hair, conditioning my hair, washing my face, shaving my armpits, and washing my body took awhile. I went a lot faster than normal, though. When I was done, I dried off and dressed as quickly as possible before rubbing on my face lotion. Then I combed and blow dried my hair. I skipped the hair straightener and skimped on my makeup. The entire process took about an hour. I rushed into my room where Jesse was sitting on my bed patiently, perfect-haired and perfect-faced. So totally unfair. I yanked a pair of sock out of my drawer and put my socks and shoes on as quickly as possible. I raced around my room, shoving my books into my backpack. I was in a frantic frenzy that was probably amusing to watch. Sure enough, when I looked up, Jesse was looking at me with an entertained look on his face.
“Oh, shush. I’m almost done.” I looked at the clock. “I think we have time.” Now where the hell was my iPod?
“Are you sure you want to wear that?” Jesse smirked. Confused, I looked down at my clothes.
“Oh, eff!” I had grabbed my grey tank top with black hearts instead of my similar grey long sleeved shirt with black hearts. I rolled my eyes and hopped over to closet, where I shoved clothes around looking for the correct shirt.
“Where the effing duck busting shiz nipping crap face are you!?” My shirt was not in my closet. It was frustrating. Jesse laughed hysterically. I turned to him with a dirty look.
“Be quiet.” I turned back to my closet and groaned, giving up. I pulled out my hot pink long sleeve shirt and repeated the same changing exercise as yesterday. Step into closet more with back turned, strip off old shirt, yank on new one. I turned around and located my iPod, putting it in my backpack.
“Annaleigh, I really don’t want to upset you, but you might not want to wear that one, either.”
“Why not?” I cried before looking down at my shirt. Of course my black bra showed through the hot pink.
“Oh, for the love of…” I cut myself off with a grunt and returned to my closet yet again. I pulled out my short sleeve black Hawk Nelson ‘Zero’ shirt and put it on over top my hot pink shirt.
“Now are my clothes ok?” I asked Jesse. He glanced at my outfit quickly before nodding with an amused smile. I sighed in annoyance and grabbed my backpack.
“Are you all ready to go?” I asked him unnecessarily. He nodded. I rolled my eyes.
“See you at the store?” Jesse nodded again. I headed down stairs, hoping that Mom had made some breakfast I could just take with me.
“Did you sleep well, honey?” I blinked, wondering if my mom knew that Jesse had stayed the night. When we were younger, he stayed the night a lot and my parents were ok with that, but I didn’t know if they would change their minds now that we were seventeen. I doubted it, since we were only friends, but you never knew with parents. Cue eye roll.
“Jesse told me that I shouldn’t check on you in case it woke you up, but it was hard not to. I have to admit, I was a little worried. You fell asleep while it was still daylight. You’re not getting sick, are you?” My mom walked across the kitchen and proceeded to feel my forehead with her hand.
“No, I’m not getting sick. I just had a major sugar and caffeine crash, I guess.” She gave me a disapproving look, but was relieved that I wasn’t sick.
“Well, I need to get to school so I’m just going to take some coffee and a pop-tart. Bye, Mom.” I grabbed a pop-tart package and fished my travel coffee cup out of the dishwasher.
“Ah, ah, ah. You can’t crash from sugar and caffeine at school, honey. One of the other.” I groaned and rolled my eyes but left the coffee cup. Jesse would have some waiting for us when I got to the store anyway, probably.
“Ok, bye Mom!” I left, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and shoving half of my pop-tart in my mouth. I chewed most of it before running down the road, trying to get to the store as quickly as possible. Since there were two pop-tarts in one package, I decided to leave one for Jesse in case he didn’t get anything to eat. I mentally cursed my backpack as I ran, knowing I would be faster without it. I got to the store quickly enough, though. Jesse was just coming out with two coffee cups. I ran over to him and took my coffee, drinking half of it in one gulp. Running was very tiring, and this cold Canadian air tended to burn the lungs a little bit. I held out my other pop-tart to him and he took it.
“Do you want to walk to school today or are you tired from running here?”
“If we have time, I think we should walk. Besides, if I get too tired, you can just give me a piggy back ride.” I stuck my tongue out at Jesse.
“Ha ha,” he replied sarcastically, but I knew he would give me a piggy back ride if I really wanted him to.
“You ready to go?” I nodded and we took off. For the first few minutes, we ate our pop-tarts and drank our coffee. This time, I was careful to avoid tripping over the log in the road. As we passed it, I remembered when I tripped over it and smiled. Jesse had brushed a twig out of my hair. Big sigh.
I don’t know why it seemed so special that he had done that. We were almost always close to each other, so it really wasn’t much of a big deal. It just seemed different on Mondays.
See, Jesse had a naturally intimidating aura. Despite his undeniable hotness, people just seemed to want to stay away from him. Getting people to avoid him was not something Jesse had to work at. He just gave off this dangerous air. Well, to everyone except me and Jackie, really. But on Mondays, he liked to stiffen up, in case anyone had forgotten that it was in their best interest to stay away from him. Otherwise, he would treat school no different than time alone with friends. Ok, maybe a little different. I’m sure he wouldn’t let me lie all over him to warm him up at school. But all the teasing, the joking, the smiling, he did that at school. Just not on Mondays.
I thought it was odd, but whatever. Like I said, people were naturally intimidated by Jesse. Even when he was joking around and picking twigs out of my hair. It was just his presence. So if I made it seem like Jesse was some weird friend-ignoring weirdo at school, he’s totally not. He’s nice and caring and sweet and funny, with the appearance of danger. He didn’t wear chains or daggers or anything, but he looked like someone you wanted to stay away from. But really, he was the person you’d never want to be away from. But since people are only judged by what’s on the outside, very few people knew Jesse and how awesome he could really be. I was insanely glad that I was one of those people. I had the best best friend in the world and I knew it. We truly were the type of friends that you would think had known each other since birth, but Jesse and I had only known each other for a few years. We became friends right away, though, and our friendship really only grew ever since. Wow, do I sound cliché or what? Ick. Well, it’s my life, so if you don’t like it then don’t bother.
After a few minutes, Jesse and I had finished our coffees. I dug around my backpack, looking for my pack of Excel. I located it and offered Jesse a piece. Without mint gum, we would be in school with coffee breath. Yuck.
The walk to school was very uneventful. Rather boring, actually. As was the school day. I know that I should be describing everything in detail, really punching up the word count, but I honestly don’t know what’s been happening all around me. I just can’t stop thinking about Jesse. I keep on thinking about all the songs that I would like to listen to while thinking about him as my boyfriend, you know? For example, pretty much all of the songs on Skillet’s Comatose album. Wait, didn’t I already mention this? I think I did… Oh well. When thinking of things to say, I tend to repeat myself. Well, I tend to repeat myself all the time. And I rambled a lot. Jesse used to say that I had ADD (attention deficit disorder) but if I did, it was a mild case. Usually, people with ADD had trouble concentrating in school, like to the point of needing medicine. I wasn’t at that point, so I was just a random person, really. Normal. Plain. Boring. Your mom’s face. Once I had a llama, a short llama, a tall llama, llama llama duck. Duck killing prostitutes wanting to be surgeons. The Operation board game with the weird buzzing. That always made my hand feel really weird. Weird, odd, strange –the coolest words in the dictionary, honestly. Except all the words that I made up. I made up a lot of words. Verexy (very sexy). Ha ha. My back hurts. Holy frakking crap, that was really random.
“Solve for x, please, Miz Pace.” Ha, that reminded me of Miz Biz, my slang name for Misery Business by Paramore. Wait, was the teach talking to me?
“X. The letter comes after w and before y in the alphabet. It is the twenty-fourth letter. Most words beginning with the letter x are extremely long and odd, words that most people would not know. When asked to give a word starting with x, most people say X-ray or xylophone.” The class laughed.
“I meant in the formula, Miz Pace, but thank you very much for the English lesson,” the teacher said drily. Eh, I never liked Mr. Barnell. He teaches math. Who likes math? Most definitely not me.
“Some people, however, tend to be smart arsed and answer with a word that starts with e but follows with x. Like exciting, extreme, example, exercise, and so on. But those words don’t actually start with x, so people who answer with those are either terrible spellers or have a complete lack in respect.”
“Much like you, Miz Pace? Principal’s office. Now.” Whoa, what the frak? I didn’t even do anything. Sorry if my mind is random and I don’t know math. Gosh. I huffed and grabbed my backpack, marching out of the room. This was totally ridiculous, I thought to myself as I walked down to the principal’s office. When I got there, there was someone sitting on one of the chairs outside the office. It was my favourite chair, the one farthest away from the office door. I sighed, totally not in the mood to make the kid move. Then, the kid turned his face and I saw who it was. It was Jesse. With an extremely bloody nose. My eyes widened and I gasped. I hurried down the rest of the hall and threw myself into the chair next to him, dropping my backpack on the floor with a thump. I placed my hand on his cheek gently and turned his face towards me so I could see his nose. He watched me with curiosity, assessing my reaction.
“Oh my gosh Jesse what happened are you ok oh my gosh who did this to you what the hell happened?!” I asked in one breath. Jesse snorted and the wonder vanished from his face.
“I was going to punch him back, but some stupid teacher came down the hall at the moment and stopped us. Annaleigh, I swear I could have given him worse than this.”
“Jesse, dammit, you should not be worrying about your reputation right now. You’re bleeding.” I inspected his nose some more. It was a lousy punch, really. Just perfectly placed for major blood exposure. Thankfully, Jesse’s nose wasn’t broken.
“Some idiot insulted me, a lame insult by the way, and I simply told him that he didn’t want to do that. Then he said, in a really snotty and stuck-up way, ‘Oh yeah? Do I want to do this?’ and punched me.” Jesse shrugged. Then he laughed. “He gave it all he got, Annaleigh.” Jesse rolled his eyes. I had to admit, this was pretty crappy for the kid’s best, but I was still worried about Jesse being hurt.
“Yeah, that is a pretty lousy job, but did it hurt?” Jesse looked at me like I was stupid and flicked my shoulder.
“Naleigh, did that hurt?” He asked rhetorically to demonstrate to me how stupid my question was. I sighed, satisfied that Jesse was alright and leaned back against the chair.
“What are you in for?” He asked suddenly as if it had just occurred to him that I didn’t come to see how he was doing.
“I don’t know. Mr. Barnell sent me.”
“Oh,” Jesse nodded as if that cleared everything up. And it did. Mr. Barnell once sent a kid to the principal’s office for answering the question correctly, but not quick enough. Totally and completely ridiculous, eh?
Just then, Clay, the preppiest, ugliest, stupidest, cockiest jock in school walked out of the principal’s office with a smug smile on his face. He turned to see Jesse and his smile widened when he saw the blood. My teeth clenched together in anger. Oh, how I’d like to punch his smile off. He grinned at me cockily and spoke to Jesse.
“Gee, man. Can’t get your nose busted up without your prissy little girlfriend coming to comfort you?” His voice was so smug, so mocking, so irritating… I wanted to rip his vocal chords out so I would never have to hear that voice again. Beside me, Jesse stiffened slightly but I paid no attention to him because I was too pissed off at Clay. I stood up and walked over to him before Jesse could stop me.
“I’m not his girlfriend, you idiot, I’m his best friend. And you didn’t bust his nose, smart one. It’s just a little cut, a little scratch. It’s something I could do without giving it my best effort.” I crossed my arms, hopefully appearing to be dangerous but honestly, it was so I wouldn’t smack this guy upside the head. He ignored me and looked at Jesse again.
“Dude, how pathetic are you? You can’t get in a little hit so you get your little slut to offer to beat me up for you? That’s just wrong, man.” He shook his head sadly. I growled, paying no attention to Jesse’s reaction of his words, and stepped closer to him.
“Nobody’s offering to beat you up, you loser. I am beating you up.” As I spoke the words, I threw my fist against his nose, hoping that I would break it. Caught off guard, he staggered back a few steps, but he quickly regained his composure and advanced towards me. I prepared to block his fist, so it surprised me when I was thrown into the lockers. I hit them hard, but not hard enough to do any damage. I was too stunned to move. I saw Jesse leap up and walk towards Clay.
“No,” I said softly. I didn’t want Jesse to fight this guy. I wasn’t hurt, and I didn’t want Jesse to get hurt. Jesse turned to look at me with fear and worry on his face, trying to discern if I was ok. Since Jesse’s head was turned, Clay tried to take advantage of that. He grabbed his backpack and removed a book silently and quickly. He let his hand drop to his side with the book pointed towards Jesse. I saw his plan in his eyes and knew I had to act quickly. I yanked off my shoe and threw it as hard as I could at his stomach, thankful that I decided to wear my thick Vans skate shoes today instead of my flimsy Converse Chucks. Unfortunately for Clay, my aim was a little bit off and the show landed a few inches below where I had wanted it to hit. Oh well, that’s where he was planning on throwing his book at Jesse, so he deserved it. He doubled over on contact and made an odd wheezing sound and the book he was planning to use as a weapon dropped. By this time, Jesse had turned his attention back to Clay.
“You little bi—“ He started to say, but Jesse leaned over and shoved his book in his mouth before he could finish.
“Don’t you ever talk like that about her again, do you understand me?” Jesse’s voice was dark and scary. He raised his knee towards Clay’s already-aching spot threateningly, causing him to wince and back up. Jesse laughed and shook his head. He walked over to me and stretched his arm out. I grabbed it and let him pull me off the floor.
“Um, could you get my shoe?” I stood on one foot as Jesse walked over to get my show and walked back.
“Thanks,” I said when he handed me my shoe. I leaned against the lockers and put it on. I straightened up and looked at Jesse, smiling slightly. Just then, the principal’s assistant decided that it was my turn to go into the office and poked her head out of the door. I walked over to the chairs to grab my backpack, rolling my eyes. Before walking into the office, I turned to Jesse.
“You should get some ice or a paper towel for that, or something.” I had kind of wanted to tell him thanks for defending me, but I decided against it. I was embarrassed about Clay calling me Jesse’s girlfriend. I only wished.
Jesse nodded, rolling his eyes at my concern. I stuck my tongue out at him and walked into the office. Well, guess what, Mr. Barnell? I didn’t get detention. Apparently, you send kids to the office too much and the school board is thinking about firing you. So ha.
By the time lunch rolled around, I was anxious to see Jesse again, to see if he was ok. I walked quickly down the hall to the cafeteria.
“Annaleigh,” Jesse called softly. I turned around to see him standing a lot closer than I thought he would be, judging by the volume and distance of his voice. I looked at his nose. It had a cut on it, but it was nothing major. I smiled.
“You’re all right?” Jesse rolled his eyes.
“Of course.” We walked into the cafeteria together and were suddenly ambushed by the leader of the preps, Delilah Williams, aka Clay’s girlfriend. She walked up to us as if she owned the place and we were her minions and she could therefore control us. Her wannabe, Chelsea Anderson, followed her like a puppy.
“Where do you think you get off trying to beat up my boyfriend?” She crossed her arms and flipped her hair. Her disgustingly fake blonde hair that had too much product in it to look good.
I rolled my eyes. “What the hell is with the whole ‘trying’ thing?! I did beat him up.” I smiled smugly.
“Ugh. Whatever. Just because your pathetic little sensitive emo boyfriend can’t hold his own next to my man doesn’t mean you need to—“ She said what about Jesse?!
“Excuse me?! I think I proved who’s the sensitive guy here, ok?” Delilah narrowed her eyes. Ha, she had so much mascara on that her eyes looked closed when she did that.
“Whatever.” She turned and stalked off.
“Haha, couldn’t even think of a comeback.” I rolled my eyes at Jesse. He seemed distracted though, and didn’t return my sentiments about the worst clique in school. Eh, I hated preps.
We walked to get food and then went to our table. Jackie wasn’t there today, on Tuesdays and Thursdays she ate lunch with her art friends. So Jesse and I had our table all to ourselves. We sat in silence for awhile, both distracted by our thoughts. I was trying not to blush. Apparently, people thought that Jesse and I were together. It was embarrassing because that’s what I wanted. Because if people thought we were together, didn’t that mean that it seemed like we were? Which could mean that my pathetic little crush on him was obvious. And that was something that I feared greatly. Well, maybe I could do something about it, point out how delusions the preps are or something. It was worth a shot, right? I finished chewing my food and turned to Jesse.
“Ugh, I just hate them.” His head snapped towards me.
“Who?” He asked, confused. Wow, I guess he must have forgotten that I was sitting here, or that we were in school.
“The preps. Clay and Delilah.” I rolled my eyes. Jesse scanned his memory and looked down at his food.
“Oh. Me too.” He didn’t look up at me or put any enthusiasm in his voice. I instantly turned my body towards his and put my hand on his cheek, turning his face towards mine to inspect his nose.
“Does it hurt?” Jesse looked at me blankly. I was confused. I thought that he didn’t put any emotion behind hating the preps because his nose hurt. Why else would he be so distracted? He was usually up for hating on the preps.
I realised that my hand was still on his cheek. I dropped it quickly, blushing.
“Sorry.” As soon as my hand was removed, Jesse looked back down at his food. His surprisingly untouched food. What was wrong with him?
“What’s on your mind?” I took a sip of my drink, watching Jesse’s face.
“You. Uh, defending me and beating up Clay.” A hint of red touched Jesse’s cheeks subtly.
“Oh. Was that bad to do?” He looked up at me sullenly and shrugged.
“It got you thrown into a locker.” He frowned. Then it was my turn to shrug.
“I’m fine.” And it was true, I wasn’t hurt at all. Jesse looked back up at me with an odd look in his eye.
“I, well. He pisses me off. And I didn’t like what he was saying.” I looked down. Oh, I liked the idea of it, I just didn’t like how it wasn’t true.
“Which part?” I looked back up at Jesse.
“What he said about us, or—“ He growled. “The names he was calling you?” Anger flashed across Jesse’s face.
“Oh, um, that.” I laughed nervously. “Pretty ridiculous, eh?” I rolled my eyes, trying to make a joke out of it. Jesse looked at me with an odd expression, sort of a mix between hurt, curiosity, and hesitance.
“What’s so ridiculous about it?” Crap! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!! He knew!
“Um…” I tried to think of something intelligent to say, something that would deny how I felt about it. But I had no time to respond, for a pair of soft and warm lips were suddenly covering my own with gentle force. Before I had a chance to react, they were gone. Jesse quickly got up from the table and left the cafeteria with a blush. I sat at the table, stunned and unmoving, until the final warning bell rang. I shuffled to my class, replaying what just happened in my mind. I wanted to try to decipher why Jesse did that by processing his words and his facial expressions, but I was too hung up on the fact that he just kissed me. He kissed me gently, softly, tenderly, beautifully… It was the best kiss ever. Not that I had any to compare it to, but there was no way that any kiss could top the way that one felt.
But why did he kiss me? That was the real question.
I shrugged to myself and sighed. Who cared why right now? All that mattered was that he did, and now I could spend the rest of the school day daydreaming about it, and about how I would like it to happen again. So that’s exactly what I did. It was a lot easier to imagine kissing Jesse now that I knew what it was like. And, oh, how I wanted to learn what it was like over and over again until I memorised it. Then try a new kiss over and over again until I memorised it. And another, and another…. It could be the never ending game of tonsil hockey. Ninth outing? Too bad! Teams are tied, go again!
Wait, what the heck was I saying?! Outings are in baseball. And Jesse and I definitely weren’t playing tonsil hockey time soon. Ew. Ish… I don’t know. Was tonsil hockey as pleasing as that soft (and way, way too short) kiss he had just given me? I didn’t know…. Would I ever know?
Did I really want to know? I don’t know. Know, know, know. I know nothing. I wanted to know more. And I really wanted to know why he kissed me. Or if he would ever do it again. But those weren’t things I could just ask him, could I? Besides, I might not even want to know the answers.
So I spent the rest of the school day thinking about Jesse, but that wasn’t very new. But now I had something different to think about; the way he kissed me, and the reason why. After school, I met Jesse out front like I normally did to wait for the bus. I had been half hoping that Jacqueline would be there so that I could talk to her and keep myself from blurting out my questions to Jesse, but she wasn’t there. Sometimes she worked after school on an art project with her art friends, stuff like that. But it was awkward. I kept on staring at Jesse out of the corner of my eye, my questions racing through my head and trying not to come out of my mouth. I wanted to talk to him, to ask him my questions, but I feared the answers. And I kind of wanted him to talk first, so explain why he kissed me. But he stayed just as silent as I was. When the bus came, Jesse practically ran to it without a word. I followed him slowly. Great, I had just messed up my friendship with him. Why was I so ducking stupid?! Jesse was sitting in his normal seat with his backpack next to him, so I sat in the spot that Jackie and I usually sat in all by myself. Ok, so we weren’t even going to talk about what happened? We weren’t going to pretend like it never happened and stay friends? We were just going to quit talking to each other? I blinked back tears, hoping that we would be at out stop soon. When the bus did stop, I practically flew out of my seat. I raced down the bus steps, almost tripping, and headed down the road towards the store. I wasn’t stopping at the store today though, I was going right home. And I would be lucky if the tears stayed in my eyes until then. I heard Jesse’s footsteps behind me and soon he was caught up to me and walking beside me. I looked at him several times, but he just kept on looking down, not saying a word. Splinters of my heart tore apart slowly, shredding into pieces before disappearing. But it was my own fault, right? Or should I have been mad at Jesse? For kissing me and then ignoring me. But how could I be mad at him? He kissed me! Sure, he was offering no explanation now, but I wasn’t asking either. Of course, it wasn’t my job to ask, was it? He should have been saying something about it, right?
When we got to the store, Jesse paused.
“Are you staying?” He asked quietly.
“No, I-I have homework.” I blinked and swallowed. Do not cry, do not cry!
“Okay.” He nodded slowly and walked away from the road, into the store’s parking lot and towards the door. I stared at him for a few moments before taking off towards the lodge, running. Tears began to slip out of my eyes before I allowed them to. I blinked them away, not wanting to stop and cry now.
Why was this happening? I was being so careful to keep my crush a secret. And now my cover was blown. But why did he have to tease me? To kiss me and then ignore me? I had always thought that he would just ignore it if he ever found out. Or just break it to me gently that we can’t be friends. Not show me what I would miss and then stop talking to me.
Once it kicked in that that was exactly what he was doing, fresh tears were brought to my eyes and new holes were formed in my heart. When I was home, I threw the door open, tore up the steps, and attacked my bed. I pulled my iPod out, putting the Comatose album on repeat, and cried until I fell asleep.
When I woke up, there was no music coming from my ear buds. It took me awhile to understand that there should have been music playing. I pulled out the ear buds and looked at my iPod quizzically.
“I turned it off so your battery wouldn’t wear down.” Jesse’s voice startled me. I looked over at my desk where he was sitting.
“Oh.” I swallowed, darting my eyes about.
“I- what time is it?”
“Five minutes ago, your mom yelled up that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes.” There was no emotion in Jesse’s voice or face whatsoever.
“When did you get here?”
“About an hour ago, after my shift ended.” I nodded numbly and rolled over away from Jesse, squeezing my eyes shut. I heard his intake of breath, sort of like a sigh but not really, and heard his slow, hesitant footsteps approaching my bed. He sat on the edge, but I didn’t turn back over. I honestly didn’t understand what he was doing. First he decided to show me what I would be missing and ignore me, but now he was acting as if we were friends? I didn’t understand any of it. I could only hope that I wouldn’t start crying again.
“Annaleigh, I… I’m sorry.” I turned towards him. He was looking down.
“For what?” My voice cracked. Jesse looked up at me with sadness in his eyes.
“I… You know… For… What I did.” He looked down again, blushing slightly.
I sat up, suddenly.
“For which part? Kissing me only because you figured out that I liked you? Or for ignoring me afterwards? I had thought you would just ignore me or something, but to go and kiss me first? What was the point of that, Jesse? To tease me, show me what I would be missing? Well, I’m sorry for liking you, ok? Didn’t mean you had to go and punish me.” Oh crap, did I really just say all that?
Jesse looked at me with surprise. “Is that what you thought I did?” I looked away. Jesse scooted closer to me and grabbed my face softly, making me look at him.
“Annaleigh, I kissed you because… Because I like you too.” He covered my lips with his own before I could speak, before I could protest his words. His kiss started out gentle at first, exactly how he had kissed me in the cafeteria, but gained passion slowly, bit by bit. Before I knew what I was doing, before I could stop myself, I turned my body towards his and wrapped my arms around his neck, fingering the back of his hair softly and kissing him back. Jesse’s arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I pulled away quickly, returning to my position facing away from him. I couldn’t allow this to happen. I couldn’t allow him to tease me in this way. I knew our friendship was over, and I would have a hard enough time handling that. But to have this happen and then never be able to speak to Jesse again? I most definitely could not handle that. Jesse sighed deeply and sunk down my pillows, lying down next to me. I shifted towards the end of my bed more and ignored him.
“Naleigh, what’s… Why… I…” He groaned softly and thumped his head against my pillows.
I spoke quietly. “Why are you doing this to me?” Silence followed.
“Doing what? I thought you would be happy that I liked you back. Unless you don’t like me, but I thought you said you did when you asked me why I kissed you, but I don’t know. I… So you don’t like me, then? I just ruined our friendship? ...Dammit.” I sat up and turned towards Jesse, keeping my eyes down.
“You don’t like me. I like you but I never told you because I knew you wouldn’t like me because you don’t.”
“Annaleigh,” Jesse sat up and scooted closer towards me. “I do like you. What can I do to make you believe that?” I closed my eyes and sighed.
“Why do you like me?” I looked up at him, hoping that I could believe him. I think I did believe him, but I just didn’t want to in case it turned out not to be true, because then I would be heartbroken.
“If I were to ask you why you liked me, what would you say?” What the hale kind of question was that?
“I would look at you like you were stupid and ask if you ever looked into a mirror. And then I would probably launch into some horribly embarrassing list of all the things I like about you.” I added that last sentence because it would seem like I only liked him for his looks if I hadn’t.
“There’s your answer.” I stared at Jesse, willing myself not to believe him but longing to just forget about what my head was telling me and just use my heart, whether it got broken or not.
Well, my heart won.
I threw my arms around Jesse and hugged him tightly, breathing in his scent as if I had never breathed before. New tears formed in my eyes, but I blinked them away. Jesse’s arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. We stayed there for a few seconds before I pulled away slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. I let go of him with one hand and brushed his hair completely out of his eyes.
“Fo sho?” I asked, wanting to confirm that what he was saying was true.
“Fo sho.” Jesse answered in a definite tone, giving me a stern look. I smiled weakly and hugged him again. He liked me… for real. Later I would ask why and when, but now I had other things on my mind.
I pulled away from him slightly again and kissed him. His arms wrapped around me tighter, pulling me close to him and deepening the kiss. I leaned into him, resting my hands on the back of his head, entangling my fingers in his hair gently. His hands rubbed a small area of my back softly. I pressed myself closer to him, breathing every so often. Suddenly, Jesse fell off my bed backwards and I landed on top of him.
“Oof,” we commented together before giggling softly. I adjusted so I wasn’t leaning all of my weight on him and stared into his eyes. He stared back, not breathing. I placed my hand on his chest.
“Breathe,” I grinned. He smiled at me and blushed lightly. I laughed quietly. His fingers pressed into my back, pushing all of my weight on top of him. I looked at him with concern, but he ignored me, bringing his lips to mine. I kissed him back, placing my hand on the side of his face softly. The kiss increased passion, but stayed gentle. Jesse’s fingers trailed up my spine lightly, giving me the chills and making me squirm. I squeaked quietly, moving my mouth away from his.
“Don’t do that.”
“What, this?” Jesse traced my spine again, causing me to wriggle.
“Yes, that.” I shivered. Jesse grinned and rolled us over softly, kissing me again.
“Dinner!” My mom yelled up the steps suddenly, startling the both of us. Jesse blinked at me and stood up, offering me a hand. I took it and he helped me stand up, pulling me close to him when I was standing upright. I smiled at him kept my hand in his, walking to my door. We walked downstairs together. Halfway there, I let go of Jesse’s hand so my parents wouldn’t see. I didn’t know if Jesse and I were together now but if we were, I doubt that my mom and dad would let him be in my room anymore, much less stay overnight.
“Oh, good. You were able to wake her up.” My mom smiled at Jesse before turning to me with a concerned look.
“You keep falling asleep in the middle of the day, honey. Are you alright? Are you PMSing?”
“Mom!” I widened my eyes at her and shook my head slightly, feeling a blush creep to my cheeks.
“Oh.” She glanced at Jesse and then back at me. I rolled my eyes and sat down at the table.
“I’m just saying, honey, sometimes you can feel exhausted when your hormones change—“ I banged my head against the table, narrowly missing my plate. I felt determined to keep my head there for the rest of the night, but my mom announced that we were having tacos for dinner. I ate as quickly as I could, avoiding all eye contact with Jesse for the rest of the meal. When I was done, I grabbed a package of Half Jos Louies and raced up to my room, mumbling that I had homework. I wolfed down one snack cake and left the other for Jesse in case he came up and wanted it. (Did I mention the Half Jos Louies came in packs of two? Just like pop-tarts). A few minutes later, my room door opened and Jesse slid in, shutting the door behind him.
“Want a study buddy?” I handed the other Half Jos Louie to him and sat on my bed. I grabbed my iPod and intently studied my list of songs. Jesse sat next to me and leaned against me, eating his Half Jos Louie.
“Hey, don’t worry about what your mom said. I don’t care if—“
“Neh!”I cut him off, raising my hand. I was not about to have that conversation. He laughed and turned towards me.
“I actually finished all of my homework in study hall,” he confessed.
“So did I.”
Jesse grinned at me slyly. “What do you want to do then?” I resisted a smile and played dumb.
“I dunno. There’s, like, never anything to do around here.” I rolled my eyes preppily, batting my eyelashes as I rolled. Then I giggled.
“That was totally weird to say.” I laughed.
Jesse stared at me with a horrified expression. “That was totally weird to hear.” He shuddered, playing along. I stuck my tongue out at him. Suddenly, Jesse grew thoughtful. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them, waiting to hear his thoughts.
“I suppose I can’t completely hate the preps now.” He said it randomly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
I stared at him like he was crazy. “Why not?!” He turned towards me, facing me (while still sitting next to me, very contortionistic, indeed).
“Because, by teasing us, they gave me the courage to do this.” He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to mine gently, placing his right hand behind my head and his left hand around my waist. I let go of my knees and stretched them back out, turning towards him and mimicking his arm placements, but in opposite; my left hand was behind his head and my right hand was around his waist. I pulled him closer to me, leaning back against my pillows. He followed my movements and lied next to me with his stomach and chest pressing against my side. His fingers entangled themselves into my hair gently. My fingers did the same to his hair. His soft, beautiful hair. With the hand that I had wrapped around his waist, I pulled him closer to me. He shifted, allowing himself to be pulled closer, and laid on top of me softly. I wrapped both of my arms around him, securing him against me. He pulled away suddenly, panting slightly. I smiled, for my breathing was in the same rhythm as his.
“Are we together now, Annaleigh?” I blinked. Were we?
“I don’t know. I was going to ask you the same thing.” He pondered for a moment.
“I suppose we could be, if you didn’t mind.”
“If I didn’t mind.” I rolled my eyes and scoffed at him. He smiled at me.
“Well, do you?” I brought my lips to his as an answer. He laughed softly and kissed me back. I pulled my fingers through his hair gently. He deepened the kiss, sighing. His lips moved from mine and began to trail down to my neck.
“Well, are we public with it? I mean, are you ok if people at school know?” Jesse looked at me.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I shrugged.
“I don’t know. I was just making sure.” Jesse rolled over and stood up, grabbing my hand along the way and pulling me up gently.
“Let’s go down to the lake,” he suggested, looking into my eyes. I nodded, too dazed to speak. He grinned and began walking towards my door with my hand in his. I followed him downstairs. We removed our hands on the steps and connected them again once we were outside and in the road, heading down to the lodge. It was a beautiful day out today. Of course, it was always a beautiful day here in Arden, but today seemed especially nice. For example, the fact that we had both forgotten jackets wasn’t much of a big deal. The weather was normal, not too cold. It probably would have been cold to someone who was used to hotter weather, but it was comfortable for me. I glanced at Jesse and he smiled. I smiled back and blushed, looking away. Once we got to the lodge, Jesse started heading for the hammock and then stopped.
“Do you want to go on the hammock, the dock, or the swings?” I shrugged and leaned against him slightly.
“I don’t care.” Jesse let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, enabling me to lean against him more easily. I wrapped my arms around him, in a sort of sideways hug. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me to the hammock. He let of me momentarily, getting into the hammock. He lay down, leaving me enough room to lie beside him if I wanted, but positioned more towards the middle. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the hammock, sitting me beside him. I moved around so that I was laying half on him, with my back against the side of the netting. I put my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. His arm wrapped around my back, holding me to him softly. I huddled against him, perfectly comfortable. I sighed and smiled. Jesse’s fingers rubbed my back lightly, making little circles. It was extremely soothing, almost sleep inducing. I was way too awake to sleep though.
“Do you want to go sit on the dock?” Jesse’s words were a whisper.
“Mm. If you want to.”
“I’m perfectly content like this.”
“Me too,” I interrupted him. I looked up at him to see a smile on his face.
“But I think people are going to start being concerned or something.” He nodded subtly over to where adults were glancing at us curiously every so often. I giggled and rolled my eyes.
“Let’s give ’em something to be concerned about.” I shifted so that was facing him more and pressed my lips against his. He began to kiss me back but then stopped. He pushed me off of him slightly and got out of the hammock before bending down to pick me up. He lifted me out of the hammock and set me next to him. I took his hand and we walked to the dock. We sat down at the edge, exactly how we did the day before.
“Now they’re watching us extremely intently, Annaleigh.”
“Well then if they see something that they don’t want to see, it’s not our fault.” I said stubbornly. Jesse grinned at me and turned his attention back to the lake. We sat in silence for awhile, our interlocked fingers stroking each other’s skin softly. Suddenly Jesse spoke.
“Is your iPod in your pocket?”
“No, I left it back at the house. Why?” Jesse let go of my hand and turned to me with a sly smile. He kneeled down on the dock, facing me, with the same grin still on his face.
“Jesse, what are you d—“ He jumped at me lightly, tackling me into the water. I hit the water gently and I felt Jesse’s body hit the water after mine. He pulled me up quickly with concern suddenly etched on his face. I blinked from the shock and then gave him a look.
“You are so dead!” I squealed and jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He placed his hands on my back, catching me. I giggled softly and stared into his eyes, biting my lip. We stared each other for a long time, moving our faces closer to each other’s slowly. Extremely slowly. When our lips finally touched, passion exploded inside of me. I pushed myself closer to Jesse, wrapping my legs around his waist and gripping his hair.
“Annaleigh, you’re going to push us under,” he breathed heavily. I removed my lips from his and disentangled myself from him, sinking back into the water in front of him.
“Sorry.” I bit my lip in embarrassment. I looked at him. He had a dazed look on his face. He shook his head and looked at me.
“It’s ok.” He grinned slightly.
“Come on,” Jesse grabbed me and swan closer to the dock. We hadn’t gone far from it, but we weren’t exactly close enough to get out. Jesse hoisted himself up onto the dock and reached out to me. I grabbed his hand and started to climb out of the lake, but ended up pulling him back in. He landed close to me, almost landing on me and looked at me in surprise.
“Well, that didn’t work.” I laughed. He got back onto the dock and this time, he laid on his stomach and reached out to me. I grabbed his hands and began to climb up the dock, but Jesse simply picked me up and lifted me out of the water, setting me down next to him. We looked at each other for a few seconds before we realised that it was cold. We shivered at the same time, which caused me to laugh. I scooted closer to Jesse and we huddled together for awhile, just shivering.
“This is going nowhere,” I laughed.
“Hmm. I don’t know. I think it’s pretty comfortable,” Jesse stuck his tongue out at me and smiled. I blushed and smiled back.
“Yeah, but I meant that it’s not getting us any warmer.”
“I disagree. You seem pretty hot to me.” Jesse smirked at me. I blushed deeper as I got the meaning of his words and hid my face in his shoulder. He laughed softly and wrapped his arm around my back, holding me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and folded my legs up on his lap as I had done yesterday in an attempt to get him warm. Now the warmth attempt was for both of us. Jesse held me tighter. After a few minutes, our shivering still hadn’t ceased. I looked up at Jesse.
“Should we go back to our houses to shower and get dry clothes?”
Jesse nodded hesitantly. We stood up and connected hands, walking back up to the road. When we got there, we stopped walking. I turned to face him.
“Will you come back? Spend the night?” He looked at me for a moment before responding.
“I’m not sure if that would be a good idea.” He frowned. I pouted.
“Agh, Naleigh, don’t pout.” He backed away from me slightly. I stepped forward, pressing into him and looked up at him, pouting harder.
He closed his eyes and sighed.
“Yes. Fine. Alright. I’ll stay. Gah, your pout could make me do anything.” My pout broke into a grin. Wait… Anything? Hmm. Pondering that meaning…
“Yay!” I squealed and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back.
“Oh, wait. Will Uncle Pierre think it’s odd or anything like that?” Jesse shook his head.
“When I do actually spend the night at my house, I always go to bed later than him and wake up earlier. And usually I’m out until it’s time for bed, so he’s used to not seeing me much. He won’t think anything of it.” Jesse grinned at me.
“Are your parents ok with me spending the night now that we’re together?” His face was a mixture of wonder, awkwardness, joy, and hesitance.
I shrugged. “Who says they were ok with it before? And besides, who’s going to tell them?” I stuck my tongue out at Jesse. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, smiling slightly. I shivered again.
“Right. You should go get warm now.” He seemed reluctant to let me go. I was reluctant to let him.
“Ohhhkayyy…” I frowned. Jesse laughed at me. I started walking towards my house, but Jesse spun be around to face him. He looked at my face for a few seconds before leaning over to kiss me. It was a brief kiss, tender and sweet. We smiled at each other before turning back to our opposite directions. I walked into my house with a goofy smile on my face and went upstairs to shower.
My shower was hotter than normal. It was longer than normal, too. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Jesse. Replaying every kiss, every touch, every look, every word… I sighed happily. When I was done with my shower, I dried and dressed quickly. I put my pajamas on, since I wasn’t going to be leaving the house any more tonight. My pajamas were long fleece pants and a long sleeved top; Canadian nights were really cold. I wondered what it would be like to be in a warmer-weathered place so I could wear those short shorts as pajamas.
I combed my hair, ran my blow drier on it for a minute, and then left the bathroom. I went downstairs to grab a snack. I drifted back and forth from the fridge and the pantry a few times before deciding on chocolate milk, macadamia nuts, and Half Jos Louies.
“Hey, Annaleigh. You took your shower early. Are you still feeling tired?”
“No, Mom. I fell into the lake.” She gasped slightly, worry etching in her face.
“Are you all right?” I rolled my eyes and smiled.
“Yeah, Mom. I’m fine. Jesse and I were just goofing around.” Her face returned to normal.
“Did he fall in too?”
“Yeah. We both decided to take hot showers and get dry clothes.” I laughed.
“Well, it sounds like that was a good decision to me.” She winked and smiled.
“Is he coming back for studying?” Good question. Was he? Or would he be sneaking in through my window?
“Um. I’m not sure. He might, he might not. You know how it goes.” I rolled my eyes. She smiled and nodded, rolling her eyes as well.
“Well, I’m going to go read or something. Good night, Mom.”
“Good night, honey.” I walked up the steps, eager to dig into my snacks. I flounced onto my bed, grabbing my iPod and my notebook. I took a sip of my chocolate milk and opened the macadamia nuts, eating two at a time. I stared at a blank page in my notebook for awhile, not able to think of anything to write. All my mind could think of was Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. I sighed. If only I was a good artist. I could draw him. Maybe I could get Jackie to sketch him for me. But then, of course, she’d probably add some morbid detail. It would be really cool, but not exactly what I was looking for. Instead, I found myself drawing hearts all over my paper. See, I had always liked drawing hearts. But this time, I wrote Jesse’s name inside them, around them, on top of them, everywhere around the hearts. I sighed, smiling, and continued to draw the hearts. Suddenly, I was reminded of a quote that I had heard somewhere. It said, “He’s the only thing that’s got me drawing those stupid hearts on my paper.”
Near the top of my page, in a midst of hearts, I wrote: “He’s the only thing that’s got my drawing these love-filled hearts on my paper.” I smiled at it and continued drawing, but then an idea popped into my head suddenly and I added the words, “My heart is only for him. It is filled of love for him. The only difference between my heart and these hearts on my paper is that I can’t be torn so easily. He would never tear me.” I drew a smiley inside of a heart and looked at my paper contentedly.
While I was drawing, I had been listening to my iPod. When a voice suddenly spoke, I just about jumped out of my skin.
“What are you drawing?” Jesse’s voice was close to my ear. I ripped out my iPod ear buds and shoved my notebook to my chest.
“Nothing.” I glanced around, shifty eyed. He laughed.
“Aww, come one, Annaleigh, let me see.” He grinned and reached for my notebook. I held it closer to my chest and shook my head, blushing. He frowned slightly but didn’t try to grab my notebook.
“Wait. Drawing? What made you think I was drawing? I’m a writer, not a drawer. I mean, an artist. I’m not an artist.”
Jesse smiled. “I saw the hearts.” My eyes widened.
“Shi—“ I was cut off by Jesse placing his lips on mine gently but with passion. My eyelids fluttered close as I dropped my notebook and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. I leaned back on my bed, dragging him along with me. He hummed and allowed himself to be pulled. He laid on top of me gently and placed his hands on the sides of my face softly. Jesse moved his lips away from mine just enough to whisper, “I’ll never tear you.”
I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, holding him closer to me. He kissed me back for a moment before pulling away to look into my eyes.
“I promise to you, Annaleigh, I will never tear you.” Honesty seeped out of his eyes, wrapping me into a warm blanket of love. Did I really just say that? That was incredibly and terribly cheesy! What the duck is it even supposed to mean? Wow, just wow.
I smiled at him and he smiled back.
“You could probably write that into a song, you know.” What? My cheesy ‘blanket of love’ line?
“The thing you wrote on the heart paper.” Oh, that!
“Oh. Yeah, I could. Maybe.” He smiled at me.
“Only if you wanted to, of course.” I nodded.
“I know. I kind of like it on the paper though.” I blushed. He grinned widely.
“Me too.” Jesse placed his lips to mine again. I breathed out and pulled him closer, tangling my fingers in his hair gently. He kissed me back softly, our lips moved in unison and love. Jesse broke away with the hint of a blush on his cheeks and a smile on his face. My breathing was a bit heavier than normal, and I could hear my heart thumping in my chest. Jesse grinned and I was suddenly sure that he could hear it too. We just laid there for awhile, looking at each other until he rolled over and sat beside me. I sat up and grabbed the Half Jos Louies, offering him one. He took it with a smile. I pulled out my iPod and put it on shuffle, handing an ear bud to Jesse. We ate our snacks and listened to my music for awhile, just generally enjoying each other’s company, even if we were technically ignoring each other. Well, we weren’t really. We were practically staring holes into each other, we just weren’t talking. Music was pretty much our conversation, though. We loved music. It was life, it was love, it was laughter. Whoa, what is with me and the cheesy lines today!?
Before I knew it, it was time for sleep. I hadn’t realised that it was that late when Jesse and I started eating and listening to music. But it was now definitely bedtime. I yawned, earning a smile from Jesse.
“I’m going to go brush my teeth. Oh, do my parents know you came over to study?”
“No, I came in your window. I wasn’t sure if you had told your mom I was coming over to study or not, and I figured it was easier that way. Rather than telling your mom we were working on homework when we weren’t, and then leaving the front door only to come in your window.” He grinned.
“Okay. I’ll be back.” I slid off the bed, placing my iPod in his hands and kissing him briefly. I walked out of my room and concentrated on not skipping to my bathroom. I brushed my teeth and returned to my room. When I got there, my lights were already out and Jesse was sitting on my bed, listening to my iPod. When he saw me, he took the ear buds out of his ears and stood up.
“Uh, do you want me to sleep on the floor? Or…”
“No, no. I’m fine with you on my bed. That is, if you are.” I bit my lip, unsure if he was asking for my sake or as a polite way of telling me where he was sleeping. He smiled and sat back on my bed.
“Of course.” He picked up my iPod and turned it off, wrapping the cord around it and placing it on my bedside table. I turned out my light and then walked over to my bed and sat next to him. I leaned into him, closed my eyes and sighed. Jesse reached his arms around me and pulled me closer, stroking my hair softly.
“What’s up?” We spoke in whispers, even though my mom and dad were downstairs.
“Nothing. I’m just… glad. And a little surprised. Did this really only start today?”
“Wow. It seems like it was forever ago. I mean, it doesn’t feel like I kicked the crap out of Clay earlier today. It feels like it was yesterday.”
“Maybe because you fell asleep after that.” I nodded.
“Probably. When I nap, I tend to get my days confused.” Jesse laughed softly. I sat with him for a few minutes before realising that I really needed to sleep. I was practically falling asleep as I leaned on him. I sighed and rearranged myself so that I was lying down. Jesse did the same, lying next to me but still a good few six inches away. I scooted closer, snuggling into him and his warmth. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me next to him. I laid my head on his chest and smiled. Within seconds, I was asleep.
Evil laughter filled the room, jolting me awake. The bed next to me was empty. I looked around my room, calling for Jesse. Suddenly, he was in front of me. I smiled and reached out to him for a kiss. The evil laughter sounded again and a bright blue flashed in Jesse’s eyes.
“Silly Annaleigh. Did you think I really loved you? I’m only here for a purpose. You need—“ Screams filled the room and Jesse was on his knees in front of a dark figure, pleading and begging.
“Please.” Blood spurted in every direction. I could not see the point of origin, but I could feel an odd thirst for the blood. I walked towards a pool of blood with my eyes wide and my mouth watering.
“That’s it, Anna. Drink it.” I heard a deep, raspy, melodic voice as if it was being broadcasted over a PA system. I stopped dead in my tracks. The voice was chilling, yet so familiar and so desirable.
“Drink it.” The voice whispered raspily, still being broadcasted, and suddenly my room faded into nothingness.
I woke up suddenly, sitting up straight. My eyes darted around the room. It was still there, there was no blood, and Jesse was sleeping next to me. Reassured, I laid back down. What the duck was that?! I closed my eyes, trying to forget about my dream and sleep. After fifteen minutes I gave up. Blood didn’t disturb me, not in the least, but that voice did. And the fact that the voice had told me to drink the blood, plus the fact that I had wanted to. But mostly I was just scared of what Jesse had said. Of course I knew it wasn’t true. He hadn’t even finished his sentence. But it was still mighty disturbing.
I sighed and flipped over on my other side, grabbing my iPod from my nightstand. I turned it to shuffle and laid back down again, staring up at my ceiling as I thought about my dream. Eventually, the lyrics of songs pulled me into my music and I was asleep again.
I awoke to the sound of plastic crinkling and the smell of strawberry jelly. I sat up quickly.
“Pop-tarts!” Jesse was sitting next to me, opening a package of pop-tarts. He grinned at me and held one out to me. I took it gratefully and nibbled at the ends, biting all the part with no icing off before digging into the good part. Suddenly, flashes of my dream came back to me one by one in high speed before settling and slowing down, replaying like a movie. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temple, not wanting to relive that dream; to see what I was seeing or hear what I was hearing.
“Did you think I really loved you? I’m only here for a purpose.”
Jesse’s voice from the dream and the mystery voice overlapped. I shook them off, not wanting to worry Jesse. The voices sped up and got louder until they were a fast and incoherent whir. Then they suddenly stopped, leaving a ringing in my ears. I winced and groaned, holding my head in my hands.
I felt Jesse’s fingers on my hands, touching my wrists softly.
“Annaleigh? Are you ok?” I looked up at him. Worry was all over his face. I nodded and blinked the memories away.
“I’m fine.” I smiled at him and took another bite of my pop-tart. He looked slightly unconvinced, but let it drop.
“So, what are we doing today?” I asked brightly, pathetically trying to distract him.
“Uh, going to school.” Oh yeah. I frowned. Jesse gave me an amused smile. I rolled my eyes at him and shoved more of my pop-tart into my mouth. I finished chewing and swallowing before speaking.
“So, are you coming over for breakfast today?” I smiled at Jesse. He snorted.
“I was thinking about it… Probably.” We smiled at each other and finished our pop-tarts.
“Well, I’ll be getting ready for school when you get here, so don’t eat all the food before I have a chance to get any.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he did the same, leaning close to me. I scowled and stuck my tongue out again. This time, before I had a chance to put my tongue back in my mouth, he placed his on top of mine with his lower lip on the bottom of my tongue. His teeth scraped the bottom of my tongue lightly and un-purposefully. I gasped slightly, surprised. He pulled away.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean—“ I shook my head.
“No, it’s ok. I just didn’t expect it.” I smiled slightly. He frowned.
“I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Too much too soon.” He frowned again. I rolled my eyes at him and wrapped my arms around him in a hug.
“Yeah, right,” I murmured softly into his shoulder. He lifted my face up to his and kissed me softly. I sighed and pressed myself closer to him, about to deepen the kiss or increase passion when he pulled away.
“Get ready for school or you’ll be late.” He smirked at me. I frowned at him but got off my bed and walked over to my closet. He walked by me, going to my window.
“Remember, don’t eat all my food.” I wagged my finger at him. He laughed softly and disappeared. I turned back to my closet. Suddenly, images from my dream came swirling back to me. I shook my head, trying to push them away, but they came closer. Jesse’s blood was all over my room.
“Drink it, Anna.” The raspy voice whispered. I shook my head more violently and the images faded slowly until they were gone. I sighed and returned to my closet. What the hale was going on with me?!
After I picked out my outfit, black skinny jeans with a black Alesana shirt and a grey hoodie, I went through my hair and makeup routine. I decided to wear my pink Converse Chucks today. I rubbed my toothbrush on my lips to gently exfoliate them and swiped on some Chapstick. Hey, it couldn’t hurt, right?
Once I was ready, I went downstairs. Jesse was seated at the kitchen table, eating eggs with cheese and toast with honey. My stomach growled. I loved eggs with cheese and toast with honey. I plopped down at the table, eager to dig in. I took a sip of my orange juice first and then crammed eggs and cheese in my mouth. While I chewed, I spread honey over my toast. When my mouth started getting empty, I shoved more eggs and cheese in my mouth. I heard Jesse laugh and looked over at him, scowling. He smiled at me. I rolled my eyes.
“What, you don’t say hi to me? Oh, I see how it is.” He pretended to pout. I snorted and gave my food a rest.
“Hi, Annaleigh.” He smiled brightly. “See, now was that so hard?” he patted my head gently. I waved my fork at him and scowled, threatening him. He took his hands away, holding them up in a surrender position. We both returned to our food, eating quickly and happily. When I was done, I drained my orange juice and poured myself some coffee. I put it in my travel mug, added cream and sugar, and took a sip.
“Ow! Da… Fi… I forgot the ice! Ow ow ow! Dang it.” I hopped around the kitchen, blowing air out of my mouth to get the hotness out. Once my mouth had cooled down a little bit, I grabbed the ice tray from the freezer and dumped half of it into my coffee. I refilled it and placed it back in the freezer. I grabbed my coffee mug and my backpack, yelled a goodbye to my mom, and left the house. Jesse followed behind me. After we walked a little way away, he stopped and turned to me.
“How’s your mouth?” He asked with a curious look on his face.
“I frickin’ burned it.” I frowned.
“Hmm. Do you want me to kiss it better?” He grinned. Oh, I got it now.
“I think I may need just that.” I smiled at him and lifted my face up. He smiled back and leaned down, placing his lips against mine. I parted my mouth, rubbing my lip against his. He sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. I dropped my backpack and coffee to the ground and threw my arms around his neck. He held me close, kissing me.
“The coffee really burned my tongue,” I mumbled around his lips and poked my tongue out a little bit. The tip of my tongue touched the center of Jesse’s bottom lip softly. He shivered slightly and held me closer.
“I can’t, Annaleigh,” he said, but he let his tongue trail across my bottom lip. I sighed and pressed myself closer to him, pressing my tongue against his lip. He sighed heavily and pulled away.
“We’ll be late for school.” He let me go and stood me next to him, grabbing my hand. He looked at the road ahead with meaning. I nodded hesitantly and picked up my backpack and half full coffee cup. We began our walk to the bus stop. Stupid school. Interrupting me from kissing Jesse. Bleh you suck.
Once again, another school day blurred by me as Jesse filled my thoughts. My mind was so active that I couldn’t even remember what I was doing, or what I was thinking. How weird is that?
When Jackie met up with me in the hall on the way to lunch, I snapped out of my daze.
“Hey. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” She said.
“I know.” It really did feel like that.
“Hey, Annaleigh.” Jesse came up behind me, scaring me. I jumped and turned around to face him. He giggled slightly. I rolled my eyes and placed my lips against his softly for a moment before pulling away. He grabbed my hand as we walked towards the cafeteria.
“Whoa, what did I miss?” Jackie stared at us with wide eyes. I opened my mouth to explain but was cut off with an ambush the second we walked into the cafeteria.
“Hey there, Delilah.” I grinned. She narrowed her eyes. She hated when I made a pun with her name, relating it to the Plain White T’s song.
“So I see that the two outcasts that thought they could beat up my boyfriend are together now. How sweet,” she mimicked. I just rolled my eyes and moved closer to Jesse subtly.
“Oh, but that means that poor little Jacqueline is all by herself now. What? Did the morbid one behead her last boyfriend?” Delilah pouted and Jackie and snorted, flipping her hair. Jackie rolled her eyes, used to the teasing and not caring.
“Yeah. It was so sexy and gory. You wouldn’t believe how good the blood of your dead boyfriend can taste.” She licked her lips and smiled manically. I have to admit, she did look pretty demented. She was cool like that.
Delilah took a step back, fear and disgust crossing her face. I stifled a laugh.
“Ugh, whatever.” She turned back to me.
“You know, honey, it’s really too bad…”
I rolled my eyes. “What?”
“You actually have a good body. Well, underneath all that black, of course… You could probably get almost any guy in school. Instead, you settle for… him.” She looked at Jesse when she said the last word, with a scornful look in her face and a disgusted tone in her voice. I growled at her and let go of Jesse’s hand, stepping close to Delilah threateningly.
“Keep it up and you’ll end up like your boyfriend.” I glared at her with dangerous intent for a moment before turning around and walking away. I grabbed Jesse’s hand and Jackie’s shoulder, pulling them towards our table. Jackie left her stuff with us at the table and then went off to get food. I sat next to Jesse.
“Annaleigh, it’s ok.” He whispered in my hair, rubbing my back soothingly.
“She insulted you, Jesse! She insulted you in front of your frickin’ face! And she knows pretty damn well that you are the hottest guy in school. What the hale is her problem?!” I cried angrily. Jesse leaned his face closer to mine and touched my cheek.
“The hottest guy in school?” He asked with an amused smile. I could see in his eyes that he was searching for honesty.
Having him so close to me and looking into my eyes melted away my anger.
“Duh.” I smiled at him, rolling my eyes. He smiled back and leaned his face to mine, pressing his lips to mine. I kissed him back eagerly, but trying to keep the kiss soft and sweet. Jackie chose that moment to reappear with her lunch tray.
“Ok, you guys can have my food. I’ve just lost my appetite.” She said it seriously, but sat down and took a bite of her apple. Jesse and I broke apart, smiling sheepishly. We got up and went to get food. I couldn’t think, I had no clue what I wanted to eat or even if I was hungry, so I just picked random stuff. Jesse and I returned to our table and sat down. The tables didn’t have chairs, they were like benches, so I scooted as close to Jesse and possible. He wrapped his right arm around my waist and ate with his left hand.
“So, did you have fun with your art friends yesterday?” I asked Jackie.
“Yeah, but it seems like you guys had more fun.” She raised her eyebrow at us. I giggled but ignored her, shoving some food into my mouth. We all ate in silence for a few minutes.
“It’s our 24 hour anniversary,” Jesse said suddenly, keeping his voice low. I looked at him in surprise then shook my head.
“Well, technically, it was our first kiss, but it wasn’t until later that we were together.” I blushed slightly, knowing that Jackie could probably hear us.
“Mm. Well, we’ll celebrate our first kiss now and celebrate getting together later.” He smiled and touched his lips to mine exactly how he had yesterday. And same as yesterday, he pulled away before I could kiss him back. He grinned at me and I frowned , pulling his face to mine again.
“I wasn’t done with you, mister.” I laughed slightly and placed my lips on his softly. He kissed me back, keeping his arm secure around my waist. I shifted towards him slightly.
“Gah! Please?” Jacqueline interrupted us. Jesse pulled away from me, grinning slightly. I smiled, embarrassed, and returned to my food. Though it wasn’t quite exactly what I wanted to be doing with my mouth… Oh, well.
The bell rang and kids filed out of the cafeteria slightly. Jesse, Jackie, and I waited until they were almost completely gone before standing up. We exited the cafeteria together just as the second bell rang.
“Aah, I wanted to get there early to talk to Mrs. Tarnabell. I’ll see you guys later,” Jackie said before racing off. I nodded at her vaguely and started to walk to my class.
“Wait a minute,” Jesse stopped me. I turned to look at him. He grinned and grabbed me gently, pulling me away from the middle of the hallway. He walked me into a locker and bent down slightly, leaning into my face. I pressed my back up against the locker and waited for our lips to connect. Jesse placed his hand on the side of my face softly and turned it up towards him and kissed me. I kissed him back, otherwise staying perfectly still. Jesse stepped closer, his body pressing into mine gently. I made a soft noise but refused to move anything other than my lips. Those, I moved fervently.
“Annaleigh,” Jesse murmured as his lips increased passion and his hand that wasn’t on my face rested on my hip. He pushed closer to me again, filling any empty space between us. Finally. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine. I resisted the urge to wrap my legs around his waist, knowing that there was the chance that a hall monitor could walk past any minute and that I would probably hurt myself on the locker.
I sighed happily. This was the most passionate kiss Jesse and I had ever had. I loved it. It would be impossible to decide what I liked more; our more intense kisses or the short, gentle, and tender kisses. They were both amazing. Any kind of kissing with Jesse was bound to be perfect.
The final bell rang, the warning bell. Jesse pulled his face away from mine reluctantly and looked into my eyes for a few moments. We were both breathing heavily. (But not loudly, thanks goodness. That would have been embarrassing). Jesse backed up away from me, looking regretful about it.
“We should get to class,” he frowned. I sighed and frowned also.
“Yeah,” I said unenthusiastically. Then I brightened up.
“Can we pick this up after school?” I grinned. He smiled.
“I don’t know, we might have to start all over…” He pretended like that was bad news. I frowned, playing along.
“Aww. Oh well, I’ll get over it.” We smiled at each other.
“See you later,” I said, picking up my backpack.
“See you later,” Jesse agreed, kissing me swiftly before we walked in our separate directions.
Of course, like always, I spent the rest of the day dreaming about Jesse. Yeah, it probably wasn’t too good for my homework and such. Oh, well. It’s not like I could help it. I had this weird form of ADD where everything connected to Jesse, instead of something random. Well I suppose it was still random. Just not as random as normal ADD. Of course, is there such a thing as normal ADD? I mean, it’s call Attention Defacit Disorder. Not Attention Defacit Normality. Pssh that didn’t even make sense! Wow, I’m so going to fail school if my own thoughts can’t even make sense. Ha ha. You know, as annoying at the preps are, they’re technically what brought me and Jesse together. Jesse and I. Oops. But seriously, if stupid Clay and stupid Delilah hadn’t kept teasing and calling me his girlfriend and such, then maybe we wouldn’t be together. Wow, painful thought. But even with this realisation, there was no way I was going to stop hating the preps. I mean, they’re just too unlikable. Very hateable. Even though hateable isn’t a word. Though I think it should be. I mean, if likable and lovable are words, shouldn’t hatable be? Well, it would be spelled ‘hatable’ to follow suit with likable and lovable. Is dislikable a word? Yes it is. See, hatable should so be a word! For serious. Does it make sense that likable, lovable, and dislable are words but hatable isn’t? No it does not make sense. It’s so totally bogus. Who do you think you are, Merriam Webster? You cannot control our lives and our language! Wait, it’s Merriam-Webster. There was Noah Webster and Someone Merriam. Or Merriam Someone. Not Merriam Webster, like a name, like Jesse Savage or Annaleigh Pace or… Dare I say it? Annaleigh Savage. Annaleigh Savage? Oh, I just totally ruined Jesse’s name! I mean, it sounds all dark and dangerous and desirable… Jesse Savage. Hmm, I should keep my last name if we ever get married so that way I don’t ruin his name. Whoa, wait. Marriage? Where the hale did that thought come from!? Although, it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea, right? He could wear the blackest black tux. And I could wear all these black accessories. Would my dress be white? Or… No, stop thinking. That’s just not going to happen. Well, I don’t know if it’s not going to happen or not. I don’t put much thought into whether I want it to happen or not. Heh, well, I shouldn’t put too much thought into whether I want it to happen or not. Ok, I mean I’m not all hormonal and weird and like yeah, but if it were to get to that point, would I say no? I think not. Alright, I need to think of other stuff now, I mean, there’s people around me! I can’t just start randomly blushing.
“See you tomorrow, class.” Wait, what? Class is over? Um, ok then. I picked up my backpack and walked out of the classroom, glancing at the clock on the way. School is over. Now, how the duck did that happen? It was just lunch ten minutes ago, I swear. Hmm. I like what happened after lunch. I like it a lot.
“Hey, Naleigh.” Jesse came up behind me, slipping his hand into mine and kissing me softly.
“Hey, Jez.” I smiled at him as we walked outside to wait for the bus. Jackie wasn’t out there when we got there, but we knew she was coming on the bus today. She probably just got distracted with something.
I sighed and smiled. Jesse looked over at me.
“What?” He asked. I shook my head.
“Nothing.” I smiled at him. He grinned and stepped closer to me, turning so that he was in front of me and now beside me.
“Do you remember what happened after lunch?” He placed his hand on my neck behind my head, tilting my face up to look at his. He let go of my hand and placed his hand on my hip, bringing me closer to him. I stopped breathing for a second before speaking.
“Yes.” I could feel the fire behind my eyes, hear the pathetic desperation in my breathless tone.
Jesse smiled and slowly brought his face to mine. I kissed him back eagerly and passionately, placing my hand on his back and pulling myself closer to him so I wouldn’t fall over.
“Oh, ah! Ew! Children are present, please.” I heard Jackie’s voice from behind me. Jesse and I broke away from each other with sheepish and goofy smiles on our faces.
“Sorry, Jackie.” I bit my lip and blushed.
“Ok, look. Tuesdays and Thursdays I don’t eat with you. Could you please decide to only make out and lunch on those days? Or go elsewhere to do it? No one goes in the auditorium during lunch. Maybe you guys should eat there. Or, you know, not eat…” Jackie scowled slightly. I looked at her apologetically.
She shrugged. “It’s ok, you two are in love, I get that. I just don’t want to have a front seat for porn while I’m eating.” I blushed a crimson red.
“We’re not that bad,” I mumbled, avoiding Jesse’s eyes and blushing even more. Jacqueline gave me a look signifying that we were, in fact, that bad. But then her look softened and she smiled slightly, showing me that she was kidding.
“Well, at least you still have your clothes on, thank the heavens!” My mouth dropped open slightly and I blushed even more redder than I already was. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned slightly. Jackie giggled.
“Sorry.” She shook her head, smiling, and looked away. I risked a glance at Jesse. He was blushing too. Only not quite as red as me. There was an indescribable look in his eyes. I’m sure if I stared at him, I would be able to figure out what it was, but I had to look away quickly before he noticed I was looking at him. Yeesh, Jackie. Say all that embarrassing stuff in front of Jesse, why don’t you? Oh wait, you already did. Thanks! Cue eye roll yet again.
The bus chose to arrive at that moment and the crisis was averted for the time being. I was still embarrassed about Jackie’s words, so I sat next to her on the bus. Ok, and maybe I was feeling a little guilty. Not only has we not seen each other very much this week (although it was only Wednesday), but I had gotten together with Jesse and she was practically the last person to know. So we talked to each other on the bus. When it came to our stop, I asked Jackie if she was hanging out with us at the store or if she had stuff to do. She raised her eyebrow, implicating, and then informed me that she was busy. So it was just me and Jesse for the walk home and at the store.
Once Jesse and I got off the bus, he turned towards me and connected his lips with mine before I could even tell what he was doing. My backpack slipped from my hand and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss and yet keeping it tender. I ran my hands along the back of his head, entwining my fingers in his soft, luscious hair. I sighed and pressed closer to him, not wanting the kiss to end. Jesse groaned slightly and pulled away.
“I have to work.” He pouted slightly. I laughed. His pout was so cute! I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his softly before pulling away to pick up my backpack and put my hand in his and begin to walk down the road.
“We can make up for it later.” I smiled. He grinned at me and we walked together. After awhile, I stopped. Jesse stopped too and turned around to look at me.
“Nothing. Keep going.” I smiled at him. He gave me a look but continued walking. I jumped on his back lightly. I was aiming for a piggy back ride, but I ended up falling down on top of my backpack. I frowned at the road and stood up. Jesse giggled slightly and turned around, bending over a little bit.
“You could have asked.” I jumped on his back, careful to be gentle, wrapping my legs around his lower back and my arms around his neck loosely. He placed his hands underneath the back of my knees and began walking. I rested my chin on his shoulder so that the side of my face was practically pressed up against his. After awhile of walking, I was a little amazed that he didn’t seem tired.
“Jesse, you’re really strong.” I commented. He grinned.
“Thanks.” I blushed slightly.
“No, I mean, well you’re carrying me and your backpack and I have my backpack on, so it’s a lot of weight.” Jesse shrugged slightly.
“Like you said, I’m strong.” He turned his head to look at me and smiled. I smiled back and rested my face next to his again when he turned around. I pursed my lips out, kissing his jaw gently. Jesse hummed in contentment. I giggled and adjusted so that I was on his back better, and could therefore get closer to his face. I pressed my lips to his jaw again. He smelled so good. Before I knew what I was doing, I pushed my tongue out from in between my lips and licked his jaw softly. He tasted good, too. I adjusted again, pushing myself closer to him, and breathed out as I trailed my lips down to his neck and back up to his jaw.
“Annaleigh, stop before I fall over.” Jesse sounded breathless. I pressed my tongue to his jaw again and then leaned away from him slightly so I wasn’t pushing into him.
“Sorry,” I said sheepishly.
“Don’t apologise, just save that for when I can kiss you back.”
I smiled. “Okay.”
“So you’ll do that again?” Jesse asked eagerly. I giggled slightly and nodded. He made a humming sigh.
I leaned my head down, resting it against his back. It was as if I was hugging him, only backwards. Well, it still had the same amount of enjoyment, eh? Hmm. Was Jackie right? No, of course not. Like she pointed out, we keep our clothes on. And it’s not as if we go crazy or anything. I mean, we’re passionate, but we’re also sweet and soft and gentle and tender and short and… Sigh. Perfect. We’re perfect. Well, Jesse’s perfect. And we make the perfect couple, I think. I wouldn’t want to be with anything else. I sort of still had a hard time believe that I was with him. I mean, me? Really? But I was. And it was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. For real. Life had always been better with Jesse around, but now that he knew how I felt and I knew he felt the same… It just made it so much better. Plus, the fact that we kissed didn’t hurt either. Giggle.
Too soon, we were at the grocery store and I had to hop off of Jesse’s back. He smiled at me and we went into the store. We were immediately greeted by Uncle Pierre.
“Ah, bonjour! My two favourite workers, oui?” I giggled at him.
“Hey, Uncle Pierre.”
“Bonjour, Annaleigh. How are you doing today?” His first sentence had his false French accent, but he spoke in his regular voice for the question.
“I’m good. How about you?”
“Very good, very good. It is how you say, magnifico?” I laughed.
“Isn’t magnifico Italian?”
“Eh, who really knows?” Uncle Pierre rolled his eyes, no longer speaking in his fake French accent. He was so funny!
“Do you need me to work today, Uncle Pierre?” He looked around the store.
“We don’t seem to be too busy, but you are always welcome to work if you want to.” I glanced at Jesse. He shrugged slightly, leaving it up to me to decide. But then he smiled a tiny bit, so I figured he was saying that it was up to me but he’d like to have me around. So, of course, I decided that I would be working.
Jesse and I made our way to the back room to get our aprons. Today we would be stocking shelves. Which meant plenty of time alone. Unless customers came down the aisle we were working on. But that really didn’t happen too often. So Jesse stocked the higher shelves and I stocked the lower shelves. Occasionally, I grabbed items out of their boxes and handed them to him, always earning a smile. We working silently, just enjoying each other’s company and thinking to ourselves. Working together made the work go by faster, and pretty soon we were done with all the shelves. We went to the back room to have our coffee break. There was no one else there. Odd, since there was always at least one person. But I guess they were all busy. Jesse grabbed our coffees and sat next to me at the little table.
“Thanks,” I took my coffee from him with a smile. He grinned at me, holding his coffee cup absentmindedly. I took a sip of mine, still smiling. He blinked and brought his coffee cup to his lips and took a sip too. Jesse sputtered his coffee back into the cup and shook his head.
“Hot.” I looked at him sympathetically. I didn’t have that problem because I had iced coffee, but I knew how hot coffee could be.
“I’m sorry. Here, take a sip of mine to cool down.” He looked at me and at my cup disgustedly. I sighed and fished a piece of ice out of my cup.
“At least take this,” I asked him. A sly look came across his face before he frowned at the ice.
“No,” he said stubbornly. I rolled my eyes.
“Fine.” I shoved the cube of ice into my mouth. Suddenly, Jesse’s mouth was on my own. I gaped in surprise and his tongue entered my mouth slightly. I felt him slide his tongue around the ice cube slowly. No longer caught off guard, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I slid the ice cube off of my tongue and pushed it into his mouth, letting my tongue trail along his slightly before leaving the ice cube in his mouth. I giggled softly and kissed his lips then pulled away to look at him. He looked slightly shocked, but happy. I laughed again and reached my hand out to close his mouth so the ice wouldn’t fall out. He twirled the ice cube around in his mouth before swallowing it.
“Better?” I smiled at him. He looked at me with a goofy grin for a few seconds before leaning over and placing his mouth on mine again. I kissed him back willingly, enjoying the coldness of his breath and his lips.
“The best.” He pulled away for a second to grin at me, then pulled my face back to his.
The door to the back room opened suddenly, breaking us apart quickly. I looked down at the table with a smile on my lips and a blush on my cheeks. I glanced at Jesse swiftly. He had the same embarrassed smile.
“Well, I don’t mean to interrupt, but it’s gotten slow so we can let you guys go early. Of course, if you’d rather stay here and make out… Well, just mind the table, eh?” Uncle Pierre teased with a wink, making me flush a deep and bright red. Gah! He had caught us kissing and was now making innuendos. Oh, my life was over. How humiliating.
Jesse and I returned our aprons and I avoided eye contact with Uncle Pierre, still blushing wildly. When we got outside, the cold air helped soothe my cheeks but didn’t stop me from wondering how Jesse felt about being caught by Uncle Pierre like that. I turned to him, biting my lip. My eyes flickered around for awhile before I finally let myself look him in the eye. He smiled at me sheepishly and I mimicked the smile.
“Sorry about that,” I said.
“I don’t care about him knowing. I’m sorry for him embarrassing us.” We grinned at each other for awhile, looking stupid and just getting rid of our mortification as we looked into each other’s eyes. Okay, again with the cheesy lines?! Really, Annaleigh? Really?
Jesse and I started walking back to Aragain and I reminded myself not to stare at the lake too much, though running into Jesse wouldn’t be as much of a problem now because he had no coffee cup. Thank goodness, because it would be even more idiotic and embarrassing to wave my shirt around now that we were together. Oh, wow. I don’t even want to think about that, eh? No, I don’t. Whoa.
When Jesse and I got back to my house, we stopped in the kitchen to grab snacks before heading upstairs. I threw my backpack on the floor and flopped onto my bed, laying on my back and chewing on red gummy candy at the same time. I sighed and chomped on the chewy candy, wishing that I didn’t have homework to do. Jesse sat next to me, eating his candy a bit more gracefully. I sighed and sat up, grabbing my backpack off the floor and taking my iPod out.
“Homework?” Jesse asked. I sighed and nodded sadly.
“Me too. Unfortunately.” He frowned slightly.
“Yeah,” I agreed unenthusiastically and frowned also.
“What subject are you going to do?”
I groaned and shuffled through my books and papers. “Uh, I think I’ll read the literature assignment. I’m not in the mood for biology or history today. And you know I’m never in the mood for math.” I shuddered, causing Jesse to laugh.
“Yeah, I know.” I nodded absentmindedly and put my iPod in its dock, selecting a playlist I had made of random songs. It started with ‘A Little More’ by Skillet. I had been loving that one a lot more recently. It was such a sweet song, I thought. I pulled out my literature book and my notebook, numbering some lines in my notebook with a pencil for the questions at the end of the story. It was supposed to help me comprehend these stories and poems that made no sense. I loved reading and writing, so I liked this work sometimes. But the way they worded the questions was always so confusing. And honestly, it all depends on how you read the piece of literature. There are no right or wrong answers, eh? Still, it was important work. If I wanted to pass school anyway.
I swayed my head to the music slightly, answering the questions absentmindedly as I listened to the lyrics and listening to the lyrics absentmindedly as I answered the questions. When the chorus came on, I could not stop myself from humming along slightly. I sighed softly as I listened to the lyrics of the next verse, still conducting a gentle head banging session. After awhile, I suppose I had forgotten Jesse was there, or forgotten that I don’t sing in front of people, because I voiced the chorus softly.
“Oh, let the world crash, love can take it. Oh, let the world come crashing down. Oh, let the world crash, love can take it. Love can take a little, love can give a little more.” I hummed along with the guitar piece, trying to resume focus on my work.
“I love you, Annaleigh.” I looked up at Jesse, startled. His book and notebook were lying open on his lap and he was looking at me with a serious and intense expression in his eyes. I blinked, processing.
“I love you, Annaleigh,” He repeated, starting into my eyes with the most honest and intense expression I had ever seen. My heart instantly melted as I realised that I had been waiting my entire life to hear those words be spoken, to see the sincerity of the words in his eyes. The song had slowed down and was about to play part of the first verse again. I shoved my books aside and practically jumped on top of Jesse, wrapping my arms around his neck and securing my lips to his.
“I love you, Jesse.” I murmured as I moved my lips around his fervently. He kissed me back with the same passion, sliding his books to the floor and bringing me closer. By now, I was all but sitting in his lap. I moved my hands around his head, twisting my fingers in his hair anxiously. He loved me. He loved me! I let my tongue trail across his bottom lip as the next song came on. He breathed out heavily and pushed my tongue back into my mouth with his own, sliding his tongue against my teeth and my lips. I mumbled and pushed myself closer to him, now running my hands all along his back and his sides. I put his bottom lip in between my lip and pulled on it gently. He shivered softly and pushed his tongue into my mouth with soft force. My hands found the edge of his shirt and began to lift it up while I kissed him back passionately. Jesse allowed his shirt to be slipped off, but made no move to take off mine. His hands stayed holding onto my waist, occasionally moving to twirl around in my hair, but never going anywhere that could be considered out of bounds. I trailed my fingers up his back lightly, no doubt sending chills up his spine. He shivered again and leaned into me. I leaned back against my pillows, pulling him on top of me. My fingers trailed across a rough spot in his otherwise smooth back, but I paid no attention to it at first. Our kiss slowed down slightly as Jesse pulled his tongue out of my mouth and slid it across my lips before kissing me normally and moving his lips down to my neck slowly. By the time he made it to my jaw, my fingers had encountered at least eight more rough spots on his back. Only they weren’t really rough, just like slightly raised lines on his skin. Vaguely, I wondered what my fingers had found on Jesse’s back. I leaned my head back slightly, anticipating as Jesse’s lips grew closer to my neck. I trailed my fingers up his back gently again, making him shiver once more. My fingers encountered more of the raised spots, suddenly concerning me.
“Jesse?” I asked softly, continuing to run my fingers over his back.
“Mm?” His lips made their way back up to mine.
“What’s on your back?” Jesse sat up suddenly with an emotionless expression. He kept his back turned away from me and reached for his shirt. I placed my hand on his to stop him and looked at him softly.
“Let me see.” He made no movement so I adjusted on my bed so I could see his back. I gasped slightly. Scars covered his entire back, all different shapes and sizes and intensity. Jesse slipped his shirt on quickly and I turned back to look at him. He refused to look at me. I placed my hands on either side of his face and sat in front of him directly. I tilted his head up to look at me.
“Jesse? What happened to you?” Concern laced my voice, making it sound a lot softer than it already was. Jesse’s eyes flitted up to mine and back down again.
“Jesse?” I scooted closer to him, wrapping my arms around him in a hug sort of way. I leaned my head on his shoulder and blinked back tears.
“Nothing happened, Annaleigh.” I pulled back and looked at him in the eye. His eyes held the same apathetic expression. I couldn’t even read what was beneath them. Except maybe… remorse?
“Nothing happened! I was born that way, okay? I’m a stupid freak with hideous scars all over my body and I’m sorry I never told you, I’m sorry I didn’t want you to be appalled by me.” He looked down at my bed, turning his face away from me. Freak? Hideous? Appalled? Say whaaat?! His scars were gorgeous. I’m the freak, thinking they’re sexy. But whatever. I could never be appalled by Jesse.
I pushed closer to him and tried to get him to look at me.
“Jesse, you could never appall me. I love you too much for that to ever happen, okay?” He looked at me with doubt and sadness. I smiled at him as best I could.
“Besides, I think they’re beautiful. You’re not a freak.” I pulled him into a hug, laying his head on my shoulder and holding him tightly. He hugged me back. We stayed like that for awhile before I pulled away and looked at him before kissing him softly.
“Don’t ever think that anything about you would appall me, okay?” Jesse nodded slightly. I sighed and pressed my lips to his again.
“What do I have to say to assure you that you’re not a freak and your scars aren’t hideous?” He shrugged. He still seemed sad, or maybe distracted, but I think I had cheered him up slightly. At least I hope so. Well, maybe I could cheer him up even more. I pressed closer to him and kissed him gently, hoping that he would intensify the kiss himself. After awhile, he did and I leaned into him, pushing him back. He ran his hands along my back and in my hair softly and slowly. I shifted so that I wasn’t lying completely on top of him and ran my hands along his stomach and his chest. He pulled me closer and I abandoned his stomach to put my hands in his hair, pressing myself closer to him.
“I love you, Jesse.” I whispered against his lips as we contained our passion slowly.
“I love you, Annaleigh,” he whispered back, stroking my back softly. Our kissed slowed until we eventually pulled away, smiling at each other. I got off of Jesse and sat down, pulling my school books from the floor just as my mom banged the front door open and called out a greeting.
“Hi, Mom!” I yelled back.
“Hi, Mom!” Jesse mimicked me with a grin. I swatted his shoulder playfully and stuck my tongue out at him with a smile. He smiled back, staring into my eyes. When I looked at my school book, the words spun around a little bit before settling down. Yeah, it sounds cliché and cheesy to say it, but his eyes made me dizzy. Go ahead and laugh. I’m a girl in love, I can’t help it. When it happens to you, go write a book about it and then let me read it and make fun of you, hmm?
Jesse and I ditched our school books and walked downstairs.
“What are you making for dinner today, Mom?” I asked on the way down. When we got to the kitchen, my mom pulled out a pizza box and smiled knowingly.
“Sweet!” I yelled louder than I meant to. I snorted slightly.
“Oops.” Mom and Jesse looked at me like I was crazy.
“What? You like pizza too.” I gave Jesse a dirty look. He held up his hands in surrender and laughed. I rolled my eyes and smiled, wrapping my arm around his waist and leaning into him. Ooh, I forgot the parents didn’t know! I jumped back from Jesse slightly with a guilty expression, but my mom had turned her back to get drinks. My dad was usually working at dinnertime. Come to think of it, I didn’t see my dad that often unless I saw him checking on things at the lodge. When I was little, I always used to beg him to take me for a ride in his golf cart. Now I was old enough to drive a car. I didn’t, but I could.
After dinner, Jesse and I went back upstairs to work on homework. We didn’t want to, but we had to if we didn’t want to fail school. So we worked until it was time for Jesse to leave.
“Will you be coming back later?” I asked Jesse hopefully, though I knew he probably couldn’t. Jesse hesitated to answer, looking regretful.
“I don’t think I should. I’m sorry. Uncle Pierre will be wanting to talk to me, though.” He peered at me, probing my reaction with his eyes. I shrugged. I figured he wouldn’t be able to (Uncle Pierre, gulp!) and I didn’t want to seem too needy or anything.
“Alright,” I nodded and stepped forward to hug him.
“Are we walking to school tomorrow?” I looking up at him with my arms still wrapped around him in a hug. He smiled and bent forward to brush my lips slightly.
“Sure.” I kissed him back briefly, sighing when he pulled away. He half smiled, half frowned and left. I stood in my room for awhile before sighing and going into my bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. As I got ready for bed, I replayed all the events of the day. Mostly when Jesse and I first said we loved each other, and then the scars on his back. They made him hotter, and I had thought that was never possible. But I was sick like that; I liked scars and such. Though I think Jesse would like me to not mention them again. So I wouldn’t. I wondered if he would ever let me see them again. Maybe now that he knows I don’t hate them, he won’t be self conscious about them.
Once I was ready for bed, I grabbed my iPod off the dock and plugged in the ear buds, placing them in my ears and pressing play. I pulled back my covers and got into bed, turning out my lamp. I snuggled into the covers and laid my head on my pillow, sighing softly as my new favourite song ended. (The song was ‘A Little More’ for you folks out there who didn’t catch that). ‘Comatose’ came on next and I smiled. I loved that song too. I loved every single song on this playlist especially, because Jesse and I listened to them while we made out and said that we loved each other. Plus the whole scars thing. Sigh. Good memories would always come from these songs from now on.
After I listened to the playlist all the way through, I got tired so I turned off my iPod and set it on my night stand before sinking into sleep.
Evil laughter filled the room, jolting me awake. The bed next to me was empty. I looked around my room, calling for Jesse. Suddenly, he was in front of me. I smiled and reached out to him for a kiss. The evil laughter sounded again and a bright blue flashed in Jesse’s eyes. I backed away from him slightly, remembering this vaguely but not enough to know what was going on.
“Silly Annaleigh. Did you think I really loved you? Well, maybe you were right, but I’m only here for a purpose. Listen to me. You need t—“ Screams suddenly filled the room and Jesse’s image flickered back and forth before disappearing. Then he was on his knees in front of a dark figure, pleading and begging.
“Please,” he started to say but a scream drowned out his voice. Blood spurted in every direction. I could not see the point of origin, but I noticed that Jesse was gone. Even so, I could feel an odd thirst for the blood. I walked towards a pool of blood with my eyes wide and my mouth watering.
“That’s it, Anna. Drink it.” I heard a deep, raspy, melodic voice as if it was being broadcasted over a PA system. I jumped slightly and stopped dead in my tracks. The voice was chilling, yet so familiar and so desirable.
“Drink it.” The voice whispered raspily, still being broadcasted. I tilted my head and returned my gaze to the blood, feeling a flash in my eyes. I took a step closer and suddenly my room faded into nothingness.
“No!” I whispered frantically as I sat up with tears spilling out of my eyes. What was happening to me?! What was wrong with me?! What were these dreams about? Why was Jesse in them? What was the meaning behind his words? Who did that voice belong to?
My chin trembled as I sobbed softly, overwhelming questions running through my brain. I tried to get the images from my dream to stop replaying themselves in my mind, but it was as if they were stuck on repeat.
I clung onto my pillow and cried, suddenly grateful that Jesse wasn’t here. I wouldn’t want him to see my tears, not like this. And I wouldn’t want him to know my dream. I bit the inside of my cheek absentmindedly, chewing on it slowly until I chewed it deep enough to bleed. I placed my teeth around the bite and pressed down, letting the blood fill my mouth slowly. I swallowed it and repeated the actions. It was a little habit I had. It sounds disgusting when you read about it, but it was calming sometimes.
Eventually, I fell back asleep.
I woke up later than I had wanted to, but I still had time to get ready and go meet Jesse at the store to walk to school. I decided to wear my black skinny jeans with a grey long sleeve top and my pink Converse Chucks. It was plain and a lot like the outfit I wore on Monday, but oh well. At the last minute, I decided to put on my Vans skate shoes. I did my hair and my makeup quickly, feeling very hungry and eager to see Jesse. I knew I would probably forget all traces of my dream after I saw him.
Unfortunately, my hair was being very stupid and trying to give me a bad hair day. But there was no way I was going to let it. I could not have a bad hair today. I was already in a bad enough mood thanks to my dream. It seemed like it would be a recurring dream, and I could tell that it would get worse every time. Which left me to wonder: what could the ending be?
It was not something I wanted to find out, but I knew I would. This dream just will not leave me alone, and I know that. But how far would it go?
Whoa! Dramatic sentence much? Yeah, that happens when I’m low on blood sugar. Gah, I need honey toast and orange juice. I grabbed my backpack and iPod and hurried down the steps and into the kitchen. I threw myself into the kitchen chair and took a gulp of my orange juice then began to spread honey on my toast.
“Good morning, honey.”
“Morning, Mom,” I mumbled around a mouthful of toast.
“Why are you in a hurry?” She asked curiously.
“I’m just really hungry.” She nodded and sat down to eat her own breakfast. I finished quickly but made sure I got enough food. I grabbed a package of pop-tarts for me and Jesse and left. The sugar in the orange juice and honey had put a spring in my step as I walked to the grocery store where Jesse was waiting for me. I bounded up to him and gave him a hug. He smiled at me and pressed his lips to mine gently. When he pulled away, I smiled at him like a big doofus. I held out the pop-tart package to him questioningly. He nodded and I proceeded to unwrap it. We started walking down the road towards the school. Once I got the pop-tarts unwrapped, I gave him one and started nibbling on the other. When we finished our pop-tarts, Jesse looked at me with his eyebrow slightly raised and bent over a little bit with a question on his face. I smiled slightly and hopped onto his back carefully. He placed his hands under my knees and started walking again. I put my face next to his and kissed him on the cheek then let my head rest on his shoulder for awhile.
“So, what did Uncle Pierre say to you last night?” Jesse was silent for a moment before answering.
“He tried to give me advice.” He frowned in a disgusted sort of way.
“And I suppose I don’t want to know just what the advice was?” It was evident from his face that I didn’t want to know, or that he didn’t want me to know. I would even go so far as to say that he didn’t want to know.
He shook his head, still frowning. I nodded in compliance and laid my head against his shoulder. I stayed on his back for the entire way to school. A couple of times, I told him I would get off if the weight became too much for him, but he always said that he would be fine. Besides, I was comfortable like that. Not because I didn’t have to walk, but because I was close to Jesse. He was a good person to be next to. Especially if I was cold; body heat was the best medicine. He was soft, but not too soft. Not bony, not too muscular. Perfectly comfortable. And he smelled insanely good. Every second I was with him just made me sure that I never wanted to breathe air unless it was air contaminated by him and his scent. Not contaminated, obviously, but you know what I mean. Yeah, Canadian air was fun to breathe but Jesse’s air was so much better. Well, doesn’t that sound weird? Yeah, it does. Oh, well.
The walk to school takes about a half hour, more or less depending. I was a little concerned about Jesse carrying me the entire way, but he insisted that he was fine. And I believe him. He’s no weakling. Most definitely not.
When we made it to school, we were just in time for classes so we only got to give each other a hug and a brief, sweet kiss before heading to our classes. I walked away in a daze. Pathetic, I know. Well, hey! I’ve been crushing on him for the longest time and we’ve only been together for a few days. I’m allowed to continue to be dazzled every time we kiss, every time we talk, every time he enters the room. Woo, that put a song in my head! ‘Every time we touch, I get the feeling. Every time we kiss, I swear I could fly. Can’t you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last. Need you by my side.’ Every Time We Touch by Cascada. Weird song for someone like me to like, but oh well. It was catchy, eh? It was so catchy that I had to work not to hum it in the middle of class. That just would be embarrassing and not good. No, not good at all. I was already sent to the principal’s office once this week, eh? Though it was a very good thing that I had been sent to the principal’s office. Not only because I got to beat up Clay, but because Jesse became my boyfriend that day sort of because I beat up Clay. Well, because Clay and Delilah kept on calling me Jesse’s girlfriend which brought the subject up between me and him. And then he kissed me. Ah, that kiss. The best kiss ever. Our first kiss, and a perfect one at that. So soft, so tender, so loving… SIGH!!!! Amazingly perfect. It had made the best day of my life. But every day with Jesse was technically the best day of my life, no matter how cheesy or typical that sounded, it was true. It was the poster child for all those sick, cheesy, fake love songs that everyone hates but loves to listen to. And once you knew what it was like for yourself, all the cheesiness and fakeness just melted away. Was anything wrong with happiness if life allowed you to have it? It truly was a rare thing and I was going to cherish it while I had it, and hope that I would never lose it.
I wonder what Uncle Pierre had said to Jesse. Honestly, what could he have said that I wouldn’t want to know? Uncle Pierre surely wouldn’t have said anything bad. Maybe not bad per say, but obviously something bad enough that Jesse didn’t want to share it with me. Advice… Hmm… What could it be? Maybe Uncle Pierre had just said that we shouldn’t kiss each other in the back room at work, and Jesse didn’t want to tell me because he knew it would embarrass me. That made sense with what little information I was given, but I just didn’t think that was I for some reason. I don’t know why. It just didn’t feel right to me. Jesse and I were very good at reading each other, and I just felt that this wasn’t it, based mostly on his reaction. It must have been something that he wished Uncle Pierre hadn’t said, or else he wouldn’t have kept it from me. Jesse and I just weren’t like that. So he obviously wanted to forget whatever was said, so he didn’t want to tell me. Or maybe it was because I wouldn’t appreciate or agree with what Uncle Pierre said. But Jesse wouldn’t be careful about sparing my feelings like that, he knew I could take it, and it wouldn’t possibly be anything bad. No, the only thing that made sense was that Uncle Pierre had either said something that would embarrass me or something that Jesse didn’t care to hear. Maybe both.
So I just had to breathe and let it go. But I was a curious type of person! Nosy, honestly. I wanted to know. I hated knowing that there was something I didn’t know because it just made me want to know it even more, you know?
“Miss Pace, do you know the answer?” Huh? What the frak?
“What?” I blinked and looked up at my teacher. I had been so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn’t even realised I was in school, really. That seems to be happening a lot this week. Oops.
“Do you know the answer to the question?”
“Um. What question?” Surely not the questions in my mind. What an odd time for the teacher to ask that, eh?
Ms. Parkin groaned and stared at me blankly. I ducked my head as she looked at me as if I was a great disappointment. She moved on to another student and asked the question. And I still didn’t hear the question. My thoughts ricocheted back to Jesse immediately. Well, they actually went back to my dream. The images filled my brain, flashing quickly and then slowing to a movie-like play. When the blood spurted and Jesse disappeared, I hissed silently and clenched my hand into a fist. I shook my head to clear out the dream memories, searching my mind for something to concentrate on. Oh, today was Thursday. Jackie would be sitting with her art friends. Which meant that Jesse and I would be sitting together, alone… Hehe. I wonder if Jesse would want to eat lunch in the auditorium like Jackie suggested. Of course, she also suggested that there wouldn’t be much eating going on. I blushed slightly as I remembered everything Jackie had said that day. Oh how embarrassing that was. She even said it all in front of Jesse. I think that was the worst part. But at least it had embarrassed him too. If I had been the only one blushing, it probably would have been worse. For me, anyway.
The bell rang and I jumped out of my seat, grabbing my books and rushing out to the hallway. I walked quickly, scanning the heads and faces for Jesse. When I saw him, I walked quickly to him.
“Hi, Annaleigh.” He looked surprised to see me. A happy kind of surprise. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand, standing on my tip toes to give him a swift kiss.
“Hey, um, where do you want to eat lunch today?” He asked me before I could gather up the courage to ask him. I shrugged and laughed slightly.
“I was going to ask you.”
“Oh. Um, do you want to eat in the auditorium like Jackie suggested? Well, I mean… But it would be, you know…” I giggled as he looked down, embarrassed.
“Yeah, we can eat there.” I kissed him again and let go of his hand as the bell rang.
“Or, you know, not.” I winked at him and turned around to walk towards my next class with a smile on my face. But the smile went away eventually, because math was my next class. Of course, I didn’t hear most of it because I was too busy thinking about Jesse again. Hopefully I wasn’t missing anything important, eh? I probably was, but I didn’t really care. Even if I did, it was impossible to concentrate. Believe me, I tried. I just couldn’t do it. Yeah, when my parents asked me why I failed school, I would say it was because I could not stop thinking about Jesse. That would go over well. Oh yeah. Ha, cue eye roll. Fo sho betch. Obviously, I have no clue what I’m talking about. Wait. What was I talking about?! Was it something important? Eh, hopefully not. Stupid ADD-like mind. Ah-tention deficit disorder. Disorderly. Disorganised. Organisation. Apologise. Oo, I love that song. Like the songs Jesse and I listened to yesterday while making out. That was fun. His scars really were amazing to look at it. I mean, I would have felt guilty about thinking like that if something bad had happened to him, but since he was born with the scars, it was ok. Oh my gosh Annaleigh! How stupid can you be?! No one is born with scars! But Jesse would never lie to me. Oh my goodness. What if Uncle Pierre hadn’t said anything to Jesse?! What if…
No, that was impossible! Uncle Pierre was too nice. Shame on you for thinking that, Annaleigh! Jesse would trust me enough to tell me something like that anyway. Gah, I can be so stupid sometimes! I can never tell Jesse that that thought ever even crossed my mind. It would hurt Uncle Pierre if it ever got to him. And I know Uncle Pierre would never do anything like that. I never even considered it, my mind just went random. Still, the thought shouldn’t have even crossed my mind. What kind of blasphemous person was I? He was Jesse’s uncle, for crying out loud. And I loved him like family. Oh, I’m such a horrible person. Stupid, Annaleigh. Stupid.
Ok, I’ll erase all thought from my mind, because that could never be possible, and I’ll never tell anyone that I was capable of such a thought. For goodness sake.
Oh, sigh. Could lunch time be any farther away? I just want to see Jesse. And spending some alone time with him in the auditorium won’t be bad either. Hehe. It felt great to love and be loved back. Jesse was the perfect guy. Completely perfect. There was nothing about him that wasn’t perfect. I’ve heard that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. Maybe that’s true, because I’m in love with Jesse and he is perfect. I hope he felt the same way about me. But what made it so perfect was that I think he does feel the same way. And it was perfect.
Now go count how many times I said the word perfect. No, I’m just kidding. But if you do, tell me how many times I said it because I’m not going to count. As if I could remember how many times I said it anyway. I can’t even concentrate on one thing for longer than… Ooh, waffles! No, I’m kidding. I was going to say that I can’t even concentrate on one thing for longer than ten seconds. And then I went on some weird random ADD tangent thing. I do that whenever makes fun of me for having ADD. I’m all like,
“Hey we ADD people have feelings too so I don’t appreciate you… Plastic bags! ‘Paperrrr or plastic betchessss!’ …making fun of us, so don’t do it ok?”
Yeah, I actually said that once.
Well, it was to Jackie and Jesse when we were goofing around and probably sugar high, but still… Wait… What was I saying?!
“See you tomorrow, class!” The bell rang. I looked up in confusion and then grabbed my books and backpack and headed out to the hallway. It was lunch time, yay!
I waited for the hallway to clear out before heading down to where the auditorium was. The auditorium was located in the same hallway as the cafeteria. If I kept on going straight, I would go into the cafeteria, but instead I would turn right after a few rows of lockers and go into the auditorium. If I passed the auditorium, there was one row of lockers and then a right turn into another hallway. When I got halfway past the second row of lockers before the auditorium, I saw Jesse coming from the other hallway walking towards me. He would reach the auditorium first. We smiled at each other as we walked. There was no one else in the hallway, so we were just staring at each other and grinning like idiots as we walked. When Jesse got to the auditorium door, I was halfway past the last row of lockers. With his eyes still locked on mine, Jesse began to make the turn to the auditorium door when it flew open and a figure came out a few inches away from Jesse. It was Clay. He had a book in his hand and was shoving it into Jesse, probably as payback for my shoe the other day. Neither Jesse nor I had seen him coming. Jesse was caught off guard, so Clay was actually able to make contact with the book. He shoved it roughly with lots of force as I watched in horror. There was nothing I could do. I didn’t even see it coming until it happened.
“Ow,” Jesse whimpered brokenly as he doubled over with his hands placed where the book was shoved. He backed up a few steps and plopped down on the ground. Clay laughed meanly and left to go into the cafeteria.
With my eyes wide, I ran over to where Jesse was, dropping to my knees and sliding to him. I threw my backpack off and let it skid across the hallway. I knelt next to Jesse. He was sitting down with his legs in front of him and his head down.
“Jesse, I’m so sorry.” I reached out to him and placed my arms around him in an awkward hug. His hands were still placed on his lap with his head hanging down. I laid my head on his shoulder and gently leaned his head onto my shoulder, still hugging him. I rubbed his back, sides, and stomach gently in a way that I hoped was soothing. Gradually, his arms relaxed.
“I’m so sorry, Jez.” I moved my face back, brushing my cheek on his hair and his cheek. I kissed his lips gently and briefly. I kept caressing his back and sides, placing my hands on his hips occasionally. Eventually, his arms wrapped around my back and he lifted his head up. I immediately pressed my lips to his and moved my right knee so it was next to his left hip, instead of both of my knees together beside his right hip. His arms tightened around me and I stroked his cheek, moving my hand down to his chest slowly. He smiled against my lips and let go of me, leaning back onto his arms. Our faces almost got close to disconnecting, so I pushed myself closer to him and placed my hands on his waist. Jesse’s tongue swiped across my bottom lip gently. I shivered involuntarily and pressed closer to him. With struggle, he pulled away.
“Do you think we should get out of the hallway? Just in case?” He smirked at me. I giggled and nodded, blushing slightly. Jesse wrapped his arms around my back and attempted to stand up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hooked my legs around his waist, squealing softly.
“I don’t think that’s going to work without you dropping me on the floor.” I tightened my grips around him just to be sure. He stood up slowly and carefully and actually rather awkwardly in an attempt not to let me fall. Surprisingly, we made it. Jesse kept his hold on me and kicked our backpacks over to the door. He walked into the auditorium, scooting our backpacks with him. I giggled and kissed him softly. He stopped walking and tightened his grip on me, kissing me back. Then he sighed and pulled away.
“Wait until I’m not trying to walk, ok?” He smiled and I nodded. Jesse finished shuffling our backpacks to the stage and let them stay on the floor. He walked up to the stage and set me down on it, still holding on to me. I unwrapped my legs from around his waist but kept my arms around his neck and pulled his face to mine. He kissed me back, trailing his fingers up to my hair. I leaned back against the stage, pulling him along with me. He laid down on top of me gently and kept one hand in my hair, trailing the fingers of his other hand down my right side, giving me chills and causing me to squirm. Jesse laughed softly and pressed closer to me. I pulled him even closer and deepened the kiss, occasionally letting my tongue trail across his lips lightly. His breathing got heavy and our kiss increased passion. I rolled us over, pushing myself closer to him along the way. I stroked his cheek, pressing my lips to his with force. Jesse rubbed my back randomly, his hands in continuous motion. I mumbled, pressing closer to him, and let my tongue slide into his mouth. He licked my tongue softly and hesitantly. Sighing happily, I moved closer to him yet again and kept my tongue in his mouth. His tongue licked mine again and again, getting a little bit rougher each time. My breathing was erratic, sometimes very heavy, and sometimes stopping for a few seconds before starting up again. I tried yet again to push myself closer to him. It was hard, for we were already practically glued to each other, but I just needed to be closer.
“Jesse,” I mumbled squeakily as his fingertips pressed into my lower back gently. My lips moved down to his jaw, kissing urgently. He tangled his fingers in my hair and leaned his head back to expose his neck and collar bone to me. I moved my lips down to his neck, pressing gently.
“Annaleigh,” he whispered with desire hidden in his voice. I flicked my tongue out on his neck softly and then let my teeth scrape across his skin very lightly. He whimpered softly. I licked his neck again, placing my lips around where I had licked him. I pressed my teeth into his skin very gently. His breath caught in his throat. I breathed out and increased the pressure in my teeth, pulling his skin lightly. Then I let my lips trail back up to his lips. Jesse’s lips grabbed mine almost violently. I placed my hands on his face to keep our lips connected and pushed against him, flipping us over. He rolled on top of me, still kissing me passionately. His lips trailed down to my neck slowly, teasing me. I bit my lip and stopped breathing, anticipating. Jesse flicked his tongue around my neck, kissing it softly and scraping his teeth across my skin gently several times before pressing his teeth down. My breath came out in a groanish sort of sigh and I grabbed his face, jerking it back up to my lips. We kissed passionately, making my legs wrap around his waist of their own accord. He crushed his body against mine and I let my hands that were rubbing his back run down to his shirt edge. I pulled my hands up his back, dragging his short along with my fingers slowly. I slid my hands under his shirt, feeling his scars gently. Jesse lips slowed down and I moved my hands away from his scars, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He pulled away, laying his face against mine. We stayed still for awhile, catching our breath.
“What are you doing, Annaleigh?” He whispered.
“Whatever you want, Jesse,” I breathed. He stayed still for a moment before disentangling himself from my arms and legs, pushing his shirt back down. He sat up, pulling me along with him and kissed me gently. I blushed and giggled.
“Not in school, obviously.” I bit my lip in embarrassment. What was I saying? Jesse blinked at me with a blank expression before frowning slightly.
“Not at all.” He spoke softly. I wasn’t sure if I heard what he said, or if I heard correctly, or if I was imagining it, or what.
“What?” I tilted my head in confusion. He had definitely said ‘not at all’ but what the crap was that supposed to mean? Surely he couldn’t mean that that wasn’t going to happen.
Jesse sighed and stood up, turning to walk off the stage. I stood up and pressed my hand against his chest, stopping him. He looked at my hand for a moment before placing his hand on top of mine and looking into my eyes.
“What do you mean?” There was something in his eyes, but I could not decipher what it was.
“I mean… That’s not going to happen, Annaleigh.” His face was full of sadness, but he looked determined.
I was confused. “Why not?” I mean, didn’t all guys think about that constantly? Or was I not… good enough for that?
“Do you like me in that way at all?” Doubts had filled my mind, making me start to cry. Jesse looked at me in shock and pulled me to him.
“Of course I do. So much. But… We just… Can’t.” Hurt was still displayed on my face and I looked down. Jesse put his hand on my cheek and tilted my face up to look at his as he spoke. Regret filled his eyes when he spoke his words.
“But… I don’t understand… Why?” Well, don’t I feel like a slut now. But I’m not actually trying to pressure him into anything. I just don’t understand.
He sighed frustratingly. “Naleigh, I… We just… I just won’t allow it, that’s all.” Now his lack of answers was making me mad and I honestly didn’t understand why he was saying that was never going to happen. Surely it was something he wanted, if he was even interested in me at all. I considered voicing all these things to him, but I wouldn’t say things right and then we would get mad at each other and I didn’t want that to happen. Besides, school would be starting back up again soon, unfortunately. So I figured we could talk about this later if it ever came up.
I sighed. “Fine.” I leaned into Jesse. I think he could tell that things were far from decided. He could hear the noncompliance in my voice, I’m sure, but he didn’t say anything.
“Hey,” Jesse said softly and I looked up at him. He smiled.
“I love you.” A wide smile broke out across my face and I leaned close to him to kiss him.
“I love you too,” I murmured around his lips. He kissed me gently, smiling slightly. Suddenly, the school bell rang and it was time to go back to classes. I frowned, causing Jesse to laugh lightly. He pressed his lips to mine again and we hopped off of the stage. Jesse walked over to where our backpacks were and picked both of them up, walking back to me and handing my backpack to me. I smiled at him and slung it over my shoulder. He did the same with his and grabbed my hand. We walked out of the auditorium, entering the hallway cautiously. I was not expecting him to, but Jesse walked me to my class door and kissed me swiftly before walking off. I watched him walk away for a few seconds before heading into the class room and sitting down in my seat. I put my backpack on the floor and grabbed my book out. Of course, I didn’t think I was actually going to be doing the schoolwork. I would be too busy thinking about Jesse. Wow, we had gone really far today. Well, not far, you know, but that was a major make out session. It was amazing. That whole neck biting thing was ironic, what with me being a vampire and all, but it was fun. That sounds weird to say, but it really was. Jesse’s bites didn’t hurt me and I knew that I hadn’t hurt him. Although that stupid Clay did. Who the hell did he think he was?! Did he really think that he could hurt my boyfriend just because I hurt him for hurting my boyfriend who wasn’t my boyfriend at the time?! Ugh, I hated that jerk! I would most definitely be getting him back. I would hurt him a lot more than he had hurt Jesse. And I would be sure that Delilah wouldn’t be around to kiss him afterwards. I wonder if the fact that I was there to rub Jesse’s back and kiss him had helped? I hope so. At the least, it didn’t hurt him worse, so it was all good, eh? I had certainly enjoyed it. Giggle and blush. Ah, so many questions raised today. What had Uncle Pierre said to Jesse? Why didn’t Jesse want me to know? Did Jesse really mean that we would never do that? If that’s really what he meant, then why did he say it? Why did he feel that way? What was for dinner today? Was Jesse staying for dinner? Would he be staying tonight? And then would we be continuing our auditorium conversation tonight? Would things even get that far if he did stay the night? If I’m so sick of love songs, so sad and slow, why can’t I turn off the radio? When did I get actual ADD? I had always thought I was just normally random, but that whole slew of questions just proved me wrong. The dinner question had been random enough, but it tied into more questions about Jesse. But that question that was pretty much just quoting a song was odd. There was no way I could actually be true ADD. Although, I am having trouble concentrating in school. But that’s because of Jesse. Because I keep on replaying every kiss, every touch, every conversation, every look. And all of those things just add more questions which then distract me from school as well. So my inability to concentrate wasn’t due to ADD, it was due to Jesse. My randomness probably wasn’t even due to ADD, because I don’t have ADD. I just seem like it. Why was it that Jesse and I were always eating? Before school, after school, before dinner, after dinner… And then of course at meal times, like breakfast, lunch and dinner. But we were always grabbing coffee and pop-tarts and Half Jos Louies or something. I suppose that was one of our things. Food and music, that’s how we connected. Now of course we had kissing too. And talking, always talking. No one could stay friends without conversation. Ooh, which makes me wonder if these new questions from lack of conversation with Jesse will tear us apart? No, that could never happen. First of all, the Uncle Pierre thing was probably for my own good, and second of all, the conversation from the auditorium was something that I would find out the answer to. Sooner or later, one way or another. Mark my words. Yay for dramatic sentences due to random stupidity and low brain cell count due to practical starvation.
Yeah, I had no lunch. Jesse and I had been busy kissing. But I had no complaints, I preferred Jesse’s kissing to food any day. My stomach didn’t agree with me, though. I couldn’t wait to get out of school and eat something. Gah, why did the school day always drag on so boringly? The weekend was coming soon though. Hmm, I wonder what I would be doing this weekend. I never really made weekend plans. Mostly I stayed home, or at the lodge. I loved looking at the lake and writing or something. Jackie and Jesse often joined me, if they weren’t busy, and since none of us really had any other friends (except for Jackie) we normally hung out with each other. But now that Jesse and I were together, I wondered how that would affect our weekend. I normally hung out with Jesse all weekend anyway, but would we just sit around all day making out with each other? It’s not like we did anything else.
Oh my goodness! We don’t do anything else. Holy frick… Is that true?! It couldn’t be true. How ducking slutty was that? Wow. Wow! I can’t believe it. I mean, I don’t mind it, but it just seems totally bad. Like, I don’t know, like skanky or something. I’m not like that. So it couldn’t be true. I mean, we walk to and from school, do our homework, and eat. Those things count, right? Then again, practically getting it on in school was kind of… Oh my gosh, ew! No, we didn’t practically get it on, ugh. It would not have gone that far in school. Of course, it seems like it won’t go that far at all. Hmm, odd. I’ll definitely have to talk to Jesse about that again. Oh, but I don’t want it to seem like I’m begging him for it or pressuring him or anything. That’s just gross and slutty. I just want to ask him why he doesn’t want us to do that. And hopefully he’ll be honest with me. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course he’ll be honest! This is Jesse we’re talking about. He doesn’t lie to me. And I don’t lie to him. It was part of being close friends like we were. And now we’re even closer, eh? So why did I feel like we would eventually grow apart?
Wow. I didn’t even know I felt that way. Surely I didn’t. Because we wouldn’t. Would we?
After school, I was waiting outside for Jesse and my thought from earlier still played in my mind and brought tears to my eyes. Of course we would not grow apart. How could I even think that? It was unthinkable.
“Hey, Naleigh.” Jesse snuck up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me on the cheek. I laughed slightly; this sort of embrace was totally unlike him. It was more of a jock greeting prep type of embrace.
“Hi Jez.” I turned around to face him, wrapping my arms around his waist. We stared at each other for awhile before he spoke.
“Are we walking or are we taking the bus?”
“You’re not working, right?” He shook his head.
“Let’s take the bus.”
“Okay,” Jesse agreed. I gave him a half nod and turned back around to wait for the bus, yelling at myself for my earlier thought and telling my eyes not to spill out tears. There was no way I could cry. I couldn’t let Jesse know that I had thought such an unimaginable and blasphemous thought. I was stupid for thinking it, even if I hadn’t meant it or believed that it could ever be true. It was the thought that counted, right?
The bus came at that moment and I began walking towards it, shaking thoughts out of my head and refusing to let my eyes betray me. Jesse followed me. I walked to our row in the back and sat down, leaning my head against the window. Jesse sat next to me silently. The bus started up and we began moving. I kept on looking out the window, knowing that my facial expression was sad but unable to do anything about it.
Jesse spoke lowly. “What’s wrong, Annaleigh?” Eh, crap. Can’t hide anything from him.
“Nothing.” I shook my head and tried to smile but he was unconvinced. He sat in silence for awhile and I turned back to the window. No! Annaleigh, stop it! You’re going to mess things up!
“Are you mad at me?” His voice was almost a whisper. I turned to look at him, slightly shocked. He looked down when our eyes met, but I could see the sadness in them. I scooted closer to him, placing one of my hands on his hand and using the other to tilt his face up to look at me.
“No. Why would you think that?” I searched his eyes. Jesse didn’t speak for awhile, but I waited.
“Because of earlier.”
“In the auditorium.” He grabbed my hand with his and entwined our fingers gently.
“What about it?” Was he asking if I was mad because of what he said? About us not doing anything?
“Me, saying no. Forever. Are you mad?” Jesse’s tone grew slightly desperate and the sadness in his eyes increased.
“Oh. No. No, Jesse. Hell no.” I hugged him tightly. He clung to me and I rubbed his back again, trying to soothe him. After awhile, I pulled away just enough to look at him.
“Why would you think that?” His eyes were slightly less sad, but he still looked regretful.
He shrugged. “You seemed like you didn’t want to talk to me or something.”
“Oh, Jesse.” I hugged him again. “I was just thinking and stuff.” More like telling myself not to think. Jesse said nothing, just hugged me back. Eventually we pulled away and turned back to sitting the correct way, smiling at each other slightly. Eh, it seemed like a good time to ask him…
I bit my lip. “Um, Jez?”
“Hmm?” He looked at me curiously.
“Why, um, why did you say we can’t? I-I just want to know, I’m not saying, eh, like, uh, just… Eh.” My eyes darted around.
Jesse smiled slightly at my lack of words and then sighed. “Just… Because.” I was about to ask him because why, but the bus stopped and it was time for us to get out. I picked up my backpack and we exited the bus. We walked down the road to Aragain, silent the entire way. When we got to my house, we went straight upstairs and dumped our backpacks on the floor before sitting on my bed. I scooted closer to Jesse, leaning against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed.
“Because why?” Ugh, I hope I don’t come off all pervy or anything. I just want to know.
Jesse heaved a sigh. “Because we can’t.” He seemed slightly annoyed, so I figured it would be best to drop it, but it was annoying me too because I wanted to know dammit and he wasn’t giving me any answers. Not real answers.
“Why won’t you tell me?” I pulled away from his arms and turned to look at him. He closed his eyes and his jaw tightened.
“Because. It’s not. Going. To. Happen, Annaleigh.” He opened his eyes and looked at me with a fiery resolve behind them.
I groaned in frustration and threw my hands up. “Well I get that but I don’t understand why you’re saying it!” My annoyance was very evident in my tone.
“Well maybe you don’t need to know.” Jesse’s tone took on the same edge of annoyance.
I leaped off the bed and glared at him.
“Damn it, Jesse. You’re not giving me any effing answers and you’re making me ask more questions about it which makes me sound like some stupid, jerky perv who won’t take no for an answer and I just want to know why but you won’t tell me a damn thing, so what am I supposed to think about it?! What the hell did I do wrong, Jesse? Am I not pretty enough for you? Is that it? Because I just want to effing KNOW!” I yelled, my anger fading into tears in the last few sentences. Jesse stared at me in horror before jumping off my bed and wrapping his arms around me, leaning my head onto his chest. My tears flowed freely now and there was nothing I could do to stop them. Jesse just held me close and rubbed my back soothingly.
“Annaleigh, you are pretty. You’re beautiful, undeniably so. Please don’t even think that.” I could hear the honesty in his voice even through my tears. I knew it was time to give up, because I didn’t like how I was acting about it, and it really didn’t matter that much, but more words came before I could stop them.
“Then why? Why don’t you want to?” Gah! I just can’t ask simple little questions without sounding like some person trying to convince someone to give in. It disgusted me.
“Wanting was never the issue. It’s can’t.”
“Why not?” My sobbing had slowed now.
Jesse sighed before answering. I suppose he was thinking through his response.
“Just… I just want you to remain a virgin a little while longer.” I blinked. Was that what this was really about? Did he not want to be my first or something? Oh, hell… Would this not be his first?
My lack of response caused him to stiffen suddenly and he pulled away to look at me. I wiped my eyes, hoping that my face wasn’t red.
“Unless you’re not…?” He queried, looking at me with subtle horror. I flushed deeply.
“Of course I am.” I bit my lip and decided to risk it. I looked up at him, trying to keep any emotion off my face. “Are you?”
Jesse laughed briefly. “Of course.” He played with a strand of my hair, studying it intensely. “You are, obviously, my first girlfriend.” He kept staring at my hair. I looked at him and smiled.
“Really? I am?” He nodded and looked at me with a duh expression. I blushed slightly.
“That felt good to say. You, my girlfriend.” Jesse smiled giddily, causing me to laugh slightly and grin back.
“Mm… Jesse, my boyfriend.” I leaned on my tip toes and kissed him softly. I pulled away before he could kiss me back.
“First, of course,” I assured him with a smile. He smiled back and tipped his head down to mine, pressing his lips against mine gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing my fingers in his hair and kissed him passionately. He tightened his arms around me, pulling me closer. I pressed closer to him eagerly, nearly knocking us to the floor. Jesse pulled away and laughed. I grinned sheepishly and began pushing him back towards my bed lightly. He allowed me to push him and walked backwards, sitting down on my bed when we reached it. I continued pushing him down so that he was laying on my bed and followed him, since his arms were around me. I laid on top of him and smiled, brushing his cheek gently. We looked into each other’s eyes, smiling. Jesse placed his hands on my hips and turned us over, laying atop me gently. I grinned and reached out to brush his hair out of his eyes. He kissed my wrist as I did so and I smiled. I flipped us over again, instantly attaching my lips to his neck. He sucked in a breath automatically and tipped his head back to expose his neck to me completely. I allowed my lips to roam over his neck slowly and gently to tease him. I would stop every so often and touch my teeth to his skin as if I was about to bite him and then continue moving my lips. Jesse groaned softly.
“Come on, Annaleigh,” he breathed. I giggled, but decided that I had teased him enough. My tongue flicked over his skin once, but then I pressed my teeth down softly. He made a soft noise and I increased the force of my teeth, allowing my tongue to caress his neck again. Jesse arms pressed me closer to him. Suddenly, I could feel the pulse of his blood flowing in his veins underneath my mouth and the creepy voice from my dream came back to me. I didn’t feel the thirst that I had felt in my dreams, but I was scared that I would. I removed my lips from Jesse’s neck and backed away slightly. He looked at me curiously.
“Something wrong?” I shook my head at him and turned over, bringing him with me. I smiled up at him.
“Bite me.” I tilted my head back. Jesse laughed at my pun and placed his lips on my neck softly. He did the same teasing thing to me, roaming his lips over my neck slowly, stopping every now and then to touch his teeth to my skin. As embarrassing as it is to admit it, I was practically shaking in anticipation. Gah, that sounded so wrong. But seriously, there’s nothing like being bitten on the neck by your hot boyfriend.
“Jesse,” I sighed with a bit of a whimper on the last syllable. His mouth roamed over my neck once more before he settled on a spot, licking me softly before pressing his teeth to my skin. I tightened my arms around him, pulling him closer. He bit me, gently at first but then increasing force. Not enough force to hurt me, of course. I hummed pathetically and began breathing harder. Jesse’s mouth pulled away from my neck and he looked at me. I pushed, flipping us over once more, and placed my lips on Jesse’s as soon as his head hit the pillows. His hands traveled my back smoothly, increasing urgency as our lips increased passion. I put my knees on either side of him and sat up slightly, staying close enough to keep kissing him, but far enough to let my hands roam over his chest and his stomach. I trailed my fingers down his chest lightly, stopping under his belly button and going back up. Jesse’s arms pulled me closer to him and I pressed my hands against his chest, lowering myself to kiss him better. While we kissed passionately, I let my fingers run down slowly to the bottom of his shirt. I placed my hands underneath his shirt and began moving my hands up to his chest, taking his shirt along with me. I was content to keep his shirt on and just touch his smooth skin, but Jesse helped my slide his shirt over his head and flipped us over again. His chest was now pressed against mine, so I moved my fingers to his back, tracing patterns lightly. I ran my fingers over his scars, hoping it wouldn’t make him uncomfortable. He traced his tongue over my lips slowly, with so little force that I barely felt it. The light touch sent chills up my spine and I shivered, pulling him closer. His tongue slipped into my mouth gently, touching the tip of my tongue softly. I hummed and pulled him closer again, licking his tongue with my own. His fingers moved down the side of my body lightly and softly, not touching any part of my body that would be considered untouchable. He pulled his tongue out of my mouth and placed his lips over my bottom lip, pulling on it gently. My stomach growled suddenly and Jesse pulled away, laughing. I frowned. I wasn’t ready to stop kissing Jesse just because my stupid stomach was hungry.
“We didn’t eat lunch,” Jesse grinned, reminding me of what we did instead. I blushed slightly and smiled.
“Do you want to go get some food?”
“No, I want to stay here and kiss you.” Jesse gave me a look and I sighed.
“Yeah, food.” I rolled my eyes at him. He smiled and got off my bed. I sat up and got off my bed as well. Jesse hadn’t yet put his shirt back on and I couldn’t help but stare at him. Once I realised what I was doing, I looked up at his face guiltily. He looked at me uncomfortably and embarrassed. I placed my hand on his shoulder and tugged slightly.
“Will you turn around?” I asked him with softness in my eyes. He looked hesitant, but turned around. As his back turned to me, I heard him draw in a breath and hold it. My eyes scanned his scars. There were a lot, painting his back like zebra stripes. Some were shallow and light in colour, some were deep and angry red like gashes. Some crisscrossed over others and some were so connected that they had no shape. If I had known that Jesse had gone through severe pain to get these, I would have broken down crying. Instead, I stared at his scars with awe and possibly sickening physical attraction. Yes, I liked his scars. They just increased his hotness factor in my opinion. I placed my hand on Jesse’s back and stepped closer to him. He sucked in another breath and winced slightly. I traced my fingers over a few of the worst scars lightly, reveling in the way they felt. Before I realised that I was going to do it, I leaned closer and pressed my lips to his scarred back gently. I placed kisses on several of his scars, trying to cover all of the deep ones first. My tongue flicked out against his back of its own accord. Jesse stiffened slightly and then relaxed. After a moment, he turned back around and looked at me with excited curiosity in his eyes.
“You don’t hate them?” He pulled me close to his chest in a hug, staring into my eyes.
I shook my head. “I told you I didn’t, right?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know you were going to kiss them. I mean…” He trailed off, looking embarrassed.
It was my turn to look embarrassed now as I spoke.
“It’s true, I think they’re… well… sexy.” I whispered the last word and moved on quickly. “But, I don’t know, I just… I know you don’t like them, and it’s hard to imagine that they didn’t hurt, I just… I don’t know.” I broke eye contact with him, blushing. He grabbed my face and tilted it up to look at him. We stared into each other’s eyes for awhile, our looks meaning much more than words.
“I’ll be ok with them as long as you are.” My head bobbed up and down in a nod before he was finished speaking. Jesse laughed and hugged me to his chest. I wrapped my arms around him, letting them trace his scars shamelessly. He sighed contentedly. My stomach growled again and Jesse pushed me away from him, smiling.
“Let’s get you some food.” I stuck my tongue out at him as he walked over to my bed to grab his shirt. Before he slipped his shirt over his head completely, he paused and looked at me.
“Sexy? Really?” I blushed all the way down to my toes and walked towards my door.
“I’m getting food,” I mumbled, avoiding his question and headed down stairs. I heard Jesse laugh behind me and soon his footsteps were behind mine.
We walked into the kitchen and I went to the fridge. I opened the door and looked inside. No food. I opened the freezer and glanced inside for a few brief seconds before shutting the door and deeming it barren of sustenance as well. Sighing, I walked to the pantry and opened it, knowing that I would find nothing inside that as well. I was right. I shut the door and frowned, walking over to the table where I sat down.
“There’s no food.” I frowned again. Jesse looked at me in amusement before getting up from his seat at the table and walking to the fridge. He opened the door and looked inside before pulling out a Ziploc bag of pizza. He held it up and looked at me. I studied it for a minute before shrugging. He looked at me skeptically and I nodded noncommittally. Jesse rolled his eyes and brought the cold pizza to the table. I could tell he knew I wanted the pizza. Maybe I was just being stubborn. But it’s really hard to actually find food that you want in your house when you’re hungry until someone suggests something for you.
Jesse unzipped the bag and pulled out a piece of pizza, handing it to me. I took it, taking a bite as I got up to get a drink. I set the pizza down on the table and went to the fridge to pull out the diet coke.
“Wanna eat this outside?” Jesse asked as I was about to grab two glasses. I paused, considering, then ditched the glasses and grabbed the bottle of diet coke. I walked over to the table and picked up my pizza, heading out the door.
Jesse grabbed the bag of pizza and walked behind me. I took bites of my pizza as we walked down to the lodge. When we got there, I headed straight for the hammock and sat down on my normal side, facing the ninth cabin with my back turned to the main hangout section. Jesse sat next to me, opposite of me, facing towards the main hangout section and away from the ninth cabin. I placed my hand over the neck of the diet coke bottle and adjusted, lying out across the hammock. I left one leg down to push against the ground to swing us and dug into my pizza once Jesse and I were situated. Was I imagining it, or were we sitting closer to each other than when we sat on the hammock before? Of course, with the hammock, it was hard not to be sitting hip to hip, but still. Not that I minded or was complaining, of course. No, no, no. Of course not. Why would I ever complain about something like that? I wouldn’t. Duh.
I smiled at Jesse and ate more of my pizza, occasionally sipping straight from the diet coke bottle. Jesse did the same, smiling at me in between bites of pizza and taking swigs of the soda. What? Of course we drank after each other. Ok, if either one of us had a contagious disease, the other one had it by now, what with the amount of kissing we do. Er, insert embarrassed giggle here, eh?
Pretty soon, we had finished the Ziploc bag of pizza and the bottle of diet coke. I laid back against the hammock, stretching out my stomach.
“Blarrgh. I think I’ve eaten enough for a week.” I frowned. Jesse laughed and stretched out also.
“Me too.” He smiled at me. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Please. You’ll be finishing your third dinner plate in about two hours.” Jesse shrugged but didn’t argue. He knew I was right. I stuck my tongue out at him and leaned against the hammock, sighing happily. I kicked my foot gently, swinging us lightly. I turned my head to the side so that the back of my neck was resting against Jesse’s ankle and my face was turned towards him. He smiled and grabbed my foot, placing my ankle underneath his neck too. I giggled at his obvious mockery. And I bet we looked pretty stupid, too. Oh well. It was comfortable…Sort of.
“Do you have your iPod with you?” Jesse asked me randomly.
“Well that was out of the blue, eh?” I teased. He shrugged. I felt my jacket pocket.
“Crap. I don’t.”
“It’s ok.” He shrugged again.
“We can make our own music.” He smiled. I looked at him in confusion.
“Double You Tee Eff are you talking about?” Jesse just looked at me and began humming. I recognised the tune at once, before he started the words even.
“You’re a part time lover and a full time friend. The monkey on your back is the latest trend. I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.”
I laughed. “That would be too cliché if I sang that with you.”
“Because, that’s what the boyfriend and girlfriend sang in Juno.”
“But this isn’t a movie, this is real life.” He smiled at me and his words stuck a song in my head.
“If we were a movie, you’d be the right guy and I’d be the best friend that you’d fall in love with in the end, we’d be laughing, watching the sunset fade to black. Show the names. Play that happy song.”
Jesse scowled at me slightly. “Hannah Montana?” He looked at me with disgust.
“Hey! You better at least think I sing better than her.” I pouted.
“You most definitely do.” He jokingly widened his eyes in horror at the mental comparison and grinned at me. I smiled back at him. The sudden karaoke idea quickly ended. Well, it wasn’t karaoke with no background music, technically. But I didn’t know what to call it, so whatever, karaoke. It was really random, actually. Kind of odd. Oh, well.
“Uh, Jesse? We’re not going into the lake again today are we?” I looked at him anxiously.
“Did you want to?”
“Not particularly. We just seemed to be going into the lake a lot this week, so I wanted to be prepared.” He smiled at me.
“Okay, I’ll let you know before I throw you into the lake.” I rolled my eyes at him and smiled.
[Gah! This author really wants to just skip all the formalities and get to the part with Gabriel already! But, she needs to set it up so that Annaleigh and Jesse have a reason to go to Toronto and all that crap and then once they meet Gabriel, the author has no idea which plot ending is going to be chosen and it’s all just so confusing and she has a headache and just bleh. This story was so much easier when I didn’t need a plot. When I could just write about Jesse and Annaleigh kissing all the time. Lol. Now it’s just like a REAL story. It requires effort and thought and energy and I just don’t have those things right now, to be honest with you. And I really wish that I could just end the story right at the 50k word count because once I get to 50k I’m going to want to give up but that story won’t be ended yet so just urghh! At least my bangs are sexy pink. Lol. I wonder if bashing my head against the wall will make it feel better? Probably not. HOLY FRAKKING CRAP I WANT TO SEE TWILIGHT!!!!! OH. MY. GOSH. I. CAN. NOT. WAIT.! EE. OH EM GEE. Yes I realise that this is serious word padding and doesn’t even have ANYTHING to do with the story but I don’t care because my brain isn’t working right now and just Ugh. HOLY EFF I wish Jesse was real!!!! He is SO hot! And I want him! Lol. But seriously. Ee! That’s why I don’t think I’ll be able to bear doing an ending where Jesse and Annaleigh don’t end up together. Especially if I killed him or broke his heart. It would be good story quality though, and give me word count, and open up his POV or a sequel. But just gah. I can really only do heartbreak in my songs. I can’t do heartbreak in a story. Fanfiction, yes. My novel, no. Of course I never tried so I wouldn’t know but still. If I break Jesse’s heart, it will hurt me too. And if I break Annaleigh’s heart, that will hurt as well because it is in her Point Of View. Aka POV. Aka means Also Known As. Everyone knows that. Boo ya. Hhahaha no one says that. Ok this word padding is really weird and really stupid. I wonder what Emily and Ashleigh will think when they read it? Lol. Just lol. Hmm what can I say that would be really weird for Emily and Ashleigh to read…? Hmm… Well I’m listening to music. But that’s not weird. I always listen to music while writing. Almost always, anyway. I watched an episode of Hannah Montana today. I like that show. Emily, you should get a Facebook. I have a Facebook. So you should get a Facebook. Because then we can be friends. On Facebook. Lol! This is page 81 and I just looked at the page number and then my clock which says 8:20 and I guess looked back and forth cause all the sudden I was like ‘Wtf? My clock says 8:20 but it JUST said 8:21… Odd.’ But it was cause I got the Page 81 thing confused. Ha. Oo there’s something I don’t get… One of the pep talks said that Page 70 was the hardest and that would be our like halfway point, but page 70 was in the 40k’s I think. Way more than halfway at least. Does my word processor count pages differently than that guys’? I don’t know. Maybe. Or maybe he was just being stupid. Or maybe I read it wrong. Or maybe I’ll just keep going ‘or maybe’ until I actually come to a conclusion. But that would make sense, wouldn’t it? And I’m not known for making sense. Oh hale no. Definitely not.]
Jesse and I just sat on the hammock for the rest of that day until dinner. We didn’t talk, just swung. Back and forth, back and forth. It was quiet, peaceful, relaxing, beautiful. It was normal. It was like what we used to do, back when we were just friends. Ok don’t look so surprised. It’s possible for us to do something other than kissing. Jeez, I’m not a slut. Ugh. [Author note, my mom thinks slut is a bad word… I don’t think it is… So I use it… Hm..] [Urgh, I haven’t done college today or yesterday and I’m really behind on my fanfiction reading. Gah gah gah gah gah. Urgh! Bleh. Crap. Duck. Fooizzle. Fooizzle? Wtf is fooizzle? I never thought of that before. I like twastard. Good one, Ashleigh. Brilliant. Hahaha wasn’t that the girl from Lizzie McGuire, Ashleigh Brillault? Or was it Ashley? Or Ashlee? Gah! I like the Ashleigh spelling the best. What was that sign on the way back from Canada? Ooo fick what was it!? Ashley and something about water? No, I don’t know. It was something that me and my friend were like ‘wtf is a ____ and WHAT is Ashley doing with it?!’ or something like that, lol. We’re weirdos. Yeah I’m going to her house for Thanksgiving… I wonder how that will go… Sigh. OOOO OMG I should just quote songs until I get to 50k and then GIVE UP on this story!!!! As much as I want to, I can’t do that. I love my characters too much. But I love my characters too much to give them a less than happy ending, but a happy ending will do nothing to the story and the plot and I should just give up on trying to make it good because it’s not like I’m going to publish it or let anyone read it. Gah. I think I like the word gah. No, I like the word emomazing. It is my word. Eh! Eh? Canadian people say eh. Which is why I say it a lot in my novel. But Max said it very cutely. He also sneezed cutely. It was massive sneeze cuteness. Do not make fun of me. 45555, haha! I tried to stop at 44444 last night but I got to 44422. So I wrote to 44444 today, except I wrote a little bit more. But I just updated my word count to 44444. Gah I need to shut up and stop word padding and write the actual novel. Is this even actual word padding? Doesn’t word padding at least relate to the story? HOLY CRAP AM I CHEATING?! Gahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
After awhile, my mom called us in for dinner. She didn’t look surprised to see that Jesse had been here all day and was staying for dinner. I wonder if she was suspecting something….? I hope not.
I had been right about Jesse eating dinner. He ate two helpings and most of my plate. I really wasn’t hungry at all. It sort of amazed me that he could actually eat still, but I suppose guys were just like that. After dinner, Jesse and I headed upstairs. We didn’t do homework though, we just sat and listened to my iPod. We didn’t kiss either, stop making that face.
“What do you want to do this weekend, Annaleigh?” Jesse asked randomly while we were listening to I Caught Myself by paramore.
“Huh? Uh, I don’t know… Why?” He shrugged.
“I was just thinking we could do something.”
“Like what?” Was he about to ask me on a date? Like a date date? Like, a movie or dinner or both or something or what?
“Well. I was thinking we could go to Toronto.” Tor—what?
“Toronto?” Doubt and confusion laced my voice. What the crap was he talking about?
“Well, yeah. We’ve never really seen anything outside of Arden or Kaladar, and Toronto’s only three hours away.”
“Only three? Jesse, it’s like the capital of Ontario. Do you really think my parents will let us go? I mean, especially if we go alone. I just don’t see how—“ Jesse cut me off by placing his lips on mine.
“They have all sort of school-y stuff there that we could use as our excuse. Extra credit, or extensive research, you know.” I blinked at him in surprise. This was totally weird and random and out of the blue and odd and it sounded great.
“Just think about it. Please?” Jesse bore his blue eyes into mine, making it impossible for me to refuse. I nodded dumbly, distracted by the intensity of his beautiful eyes. He grinned and pressed his mouth against mine softly. I slipped my tongue into his mouth gently, snaking my arm around his neck and tangling my fingers in his hair.
“Hello, Anna,” a creepy voice whispered. Jesse and I jumped at the sound, instantly disconnecting. Flashes of my dream came to me. Jesse, blood, creepy voice, thirst for blood. My eyes darted around, looking for who had said that.
“Over here,” the voice rasped. I turned to the window to see a dark figure sitting in my window as though he had just climbed in from outside. Jesse moved over in front of me protectively.
“Who are you?” I called. The figure laughed evilly.
“Oh, you know my name already.” The figure climbed out of my window, taking a step closer to my bed. Jesse stiffened, turning his body in front of me. The face that belonged to the figure did not look familiar at all. In fact, it did not look like the owner of such a creepy voice. He looked like he could be some random kid from our school. Someone we had seen, but never noticed.
“Or perhaps not. I’m Gabriel, Anna. And I am here to claim what is rightfully mine.” He took a step forward. Jesse became even more tense and his body moved away from mine slightly.
“And what is that?” I was afraid to ask, but I did anyway. I was really confused. Why did this guy come to my room? How did he know my name, or at least part of it? No one called me Anna except for the voice from the dream and this guy definitely wasn’t that voice.
“Your virginity, of course.” I blinked, processing and then looked at the guy to see if he was joking. The smile on his face told me that he wasn’t.
“Unless this little minion of mine has taken it from you already?” He looked at Jesse. “In which case I would be forced to have a little more fun. A different type of fun, sure, but fun nonetheless.” I shivered involuntarily. This guy was threatening us.
“Ok, let’s get something straight here. I am not going to have sex, unless it is with my boyfriend, and I’m not even doing that so you can just go somewhere else.” Should I yell for my parents? How far was this guy going to take this and how could I stop him?
“Oh, Anna. But you want me, really. I can feel it.” He took in a deep breath and smiled eerily. I shuddered and leaned into Jesse. Automatically, he scooted away from me, shaking me off.
Gabriel took another step forward, and another, until he was standing in front of my bed right in front of me. I looked up at him, scared. Suddenly I realised that I was tougher than this guy. I stood up quickly, shoving my knee into him. He grunted and took a step back.
“You’ll regret that.” He raised his arm to strike me. I flinched back and closed my eyes. Instead of being hit, I was tackled onto the bed and my arms were pinned up by my head. I opened my eyes to see Gabriel’s grinning face. His eyes scanned my body with greed and suddenly I realised what was going to happen. I knew I should fight back, but I also knew that I had no way to fight back. I had completely forgotten that Jesse was in the room. I just felt helpless. My vocal chords wouldn’t even work. All I could do was lay there as tears streamed from my eyes.
Just as Gabriel was leaning down to kiss me, blood spurted from his neck, spattering the pillow next to my head. Suddenly, he was torn off of me and I heard noises of violence. My eyes were too full of tears to see what was going on, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“You dirty liar!” I heard Jesse growl and the noise of flesh crunching bone splintered the air. I winced, hoping that Jesse wasn’t hurt.
“Get the hell out of here before I kill you.” Jesse voice was venomous, dangerous and scary. I did not doubt that he would kill the guy, either. Whimpers filled the room as liquid dropped to the floor, steady at first and slowing into little drips. The window squeaked open and something rubbed against it forcefully. I heard the thump of feet hitting the ground outside by my window, but I couldn’t hear footsteps for my silent tears turned into sobs. Jesse’s arms encircled me and I clutched onto them, sobbing into his chest. I worked to make my sobs quiet enough for my parents not to hear, but it was difficult. Jesse stroked my hair.
“Shh, Annaleigh, it’s ok. It’s ok. He’s gone now. He’ll never come back. Shh, it’s ok baby. It’s ok.” Jesse’s voice murmured to me, eventually calming me down. His mere presence comforted me.
“Shh. I’m going to clean up your room, if you’re alright.” I nodded stiffly and allowed him to let go of me. I heard his footsteps walk quietly to my door and open it, stepping out into the hallway. I opened my eyes and looked at the pillow next to me, spattered in blood. Once again, flashes of my dream came to me and I couldn’t bring myself to look anywhere else. I wasn’t blood queasy, not in the least, but if there were pools of blood in my room would I really want to know? Worst of all, would I want to know whose blood it was?
When I heard Jesse walking back, I shut my eyes again. I heard him flit around the room, rubbing a towel on my floor and window. It must not have been a lot of blood, then, if one towel could soak it up. Jesse left again and I opened my eyes, wiping my tears away. I looked around my room, half expecting it to look like in my dream, but it looked normal. I sat up as Jesse walked back into the room. He came and sat next to me on the bed instantly, not making body contact. I looked at him, trying to keep tears out of my eyes.
“Who? How? Why? What? He…” Who was he? How did he get it? Why me? What was he saying? What was the all about? How did he know me? Was he actually going to rape me? Why didn’t Jesse stop him sooner? Those were all the questions I wanted to ask, but I could not get them out.
“It’s ok. He won’t come back.” Jesse hugged me gently. I laid my head on his shoulder, clinging to him tightly and trying not to think. I pulled away suddenly and scanned Jesse with my eyes.
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” I looked at Jesse with worry. He shook his head. I sighed in relief and held on to him again. Then I pulled away again to look at him.
“Jesse, I… He… Oh, shit.” Realisation struck me while I was trying to talk and I burst out into sobs again. Jesse pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. I clawed at the back of his shirt, sobbing loudly. I buried my face into his shoulder, trying to muffle my sobs. He pulled me closer, rubbing my back soothingly. I cried for a few minutes before pulling away, releasing my hold on Jesse gently.
“Were you going to let him?” I knew Jesse would never do that, but he hadn’t seemed like he was doing anything until the blood spurted. I wish I had known what was going on so then I could make sense of it.
“No! Hell no, Annaleigh. Definitely not. Why would you think that?” I started crying again.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t. But, Jesse. He had me pinned down.” The tears flowed more freely now. Maybe I was being a wimp since nothing happened, but it was still hard to go through.
“I know.” Jesse closed his eyes, clenching his jaws in anger. I wiped my tears away and touched his jaw lightly.
“Hey. It’s okay.” I said softly. He opened his eyes and looked at me, instantly softening his expression.
“I’m so sorry.” His eyes were full of emotion. It sort of seemed like he might start crying himself. I reached out and hugged him. He hugged me back, seemingly reserved.
“Oh, uh, I should get that.” Jesse let go of me and snatched my pillow, trying to hide the bloodied side from me as he took of the case. I smiled at him. He got up from the bed and kissed me on the forehead before taking the pillow case out of my room. I waited for him to get back. (Uh, well, duh. Way to state the obvious, Annaleigh). When he got back, I sat up and crossed my legs, smiling at him. He smiled back and walked over to my bed slowly, hesitantly sitting on the edge, away from me. I scooted closer to him and leaned against him.
Jesse blinked at me. “Nothing. Why do you ask that?”
I shrugged. “It seems like you’re… I don’t know… Keeping your distance from me?” I bit my lip. Ugh, what a stupid observance, I scolded myself.
Jesse fidgeted. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me anywhere near you… I mean, touching… You know.”
“Oh.” I looked down. Ha, I hadn’t even thought of that. No, Jesse’s touch was comforting, soothing. I needed it. I looked up at Jesse. He was frowning slightly, lost in his thoughts. I could tell that he was still angry about Gabriel. I touched his arm softly and he looked at me.
“Thank you.” I smiled. He looked at me with an obvious expression on his face, like ‘no duh.’
“Of course.” He blinked, conveying that it was obvious. I smiled and then sighed as I thought about how truly sweet he was.
I wrapped my arms around Jesse and turned my body to face him, placing my lips to his. His kiss was hesitant. So I decided he needed a little push. I kept my hands on his back and waist firmly and began to lean back, keeping our lips connected. He was pulled along with me, softly and slowly. Once the back of my body made complete contact with the bed, Jesse pulled away, quickly sitting down beside me. I gave a frustrated sigh.
“Now what’s wrong?” I asked him. He stared at me without answering.
“Jesse, what?” I shifted so that I was looking into his eyes. He still didn’t answer, but I read his eyes. They revealed fear and reluctance, worry and reservation. I sighed.
“Oh.” Jesse didn’t move, just kept looking at me. I moved closer to him, placing my hand on his chest and my face extremely close to his.
“You don’t think I’m ready for you to lay on top of me and kiss me.” Jesse’s eyes nodded for him with a sad expression in them. My face mimicked his sad expression and I moved closer to him, half laying on him.
“Even if I’m not, I’ll never be if you don’t do it anyway.” I paused, thinking over my words. “If that even made any sense.” Jesse nodded his head slightly. My lips attacked his gently. He kissed me back slowly, gaining passion as time went on. With my hands on him, I began rolling over, pulling him along with me. I could feel his hesitance, but he flipped with me, not breaking the kiss. Once we had stopped moving and I was on my back with him on top of me, his lips paused for a second, testing my reaction, but resumed their action. I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him closer to me. Slowly, I moved my hands away from his back and placed my arms down beside me head.
“Jesse,” I whispered around his lips. “Put your hands on my arms.” Jesse paused for a second to look at my arms and looked back at me in shock.
“And then sit on me,” I said before he could protest the first request. Jesse stared at me in horror and then closed his eyes, sighing softly.
“Annaleigh, I can’t do that.” He opened his eyes, looking tortured.
“Please,” I whispered. He clenched his jaw, looking conflicted. He wanted to do what I asked him, but he was worried about what it would do to me.
“I’ll hurt you.”
“Jez, you won’t do anything.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“I meant emotionally.” Yeah, I knew what he meant.
I snorted. “I’m not quite that delicate, eh?” He looked at me sadly again.
“Look, Jesse.” My voice softened. “I at least just need to get it out of my system.” The puppy dog pout was being given with my eyes, not entirely on purpose, but I knew Jesse couldn’t refuse.
“But so soon?” His look was soft, scared and concerned. I nodded slightly, closing my eyes. Jesse sighed and took a deep breath. He placed his hands on my arms softly and moved so that he was sitting on me lightly. I smirked at him and moved my arms.
“Hold easily broken.” He sighed and I could tell how much this was troubling him, but it needed to be done. Jesse increased the pressure of his hands, pinning my wrists down against the soft bed. I closed my eyes, forcing the images of Gabriel out of my brain and focusing on the feel of Jesse’s body on mine.
“Kiss me.” I opened my eyes as Jesse leaned down (just as Gabriel had!) my mind screamed at me, but I made it shut up. He kissed me softly and I could feel the torment behind the kiss. I slid my tongue across his lip gently, hoping to show him that I was okay. Suddenly, Jesse’s body was laying beside mine. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see him with pain and remorse in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Naleigh, I couldn’t do it anymore.” I turned towards him and scooted closer, wrapping my arms around him.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry I made you do that.” I frowned, suddenly feeling guilty. Jesse stroked my face softly.
“Anything for you.” His voice was as soft as a whisper and it sent chills down my spine. Good chills, the kind you get when you realise just how much someone loves you.
“Were you okay?” He asked anxiously.
I nodded. “I’m just mad.”
His eyes narrowed. “Me too.” His expression was almost murderous. It was totally creepy. And totally hot!
“No, that’s not what I meant. I… You, that… I liked it.” I bit my lip and looked down, blushing slightly. How stupid was that to say? Ugh.
Jesse tilted his head, waiting for me to clarify.
“I mean, you… But he stole the enjoyment away from us… I mean, I, uh, he, the, um, you, but, I, gah.” I stuttered, unable to say what I meant.
“I understand what you mean, Annaleigh.” I sighed.
“Thank goodness.” He smiled at me with an amused expression. Yeah, yeah, I know I’m daft.
“It’s just, urgh. You, that was kind of… I mean, hot. But he just, ugh. I could kill him.” Was it really weird that I had pretty much just had a traumatic experience and I was upset because it made a new make out position for me and Jesse less enjoyable? (Wow, I worded that horribly). Yeah, insanely weird.
A look I couldn’t describe flashed across Jesse’s face when I spoke my last sentence, but was gone before I could try to recognise it or determine what it was.
“Anyway, I don’t want to talk about it. Nothing happened, you stopped him, I cried, I got over it. It’s done.” Was it really that simple? I hope so. If it wasn’t, I don’t know how I would function properly. And if it was, was it bad that I could get over such a thing so quickly? But of course, nothing happened. I mean, Jesse stopped him, so there really was no reason to feel upset about it. Sure, it was traumatic to be close to going through something like that but the important thing was that I didn’t. If I dwelled on what would have or could have happened, then I’ll miss what is happening now, honestly. And what’s happening now is that Jesse is laying beside me and I have a serious need to kiss him.
I flipped over onto Jesse quickly, putting my hand on his chest and placing my lips to his. His arms wrapped around me automatically and he pulled me closer. He didn’t seem to be acting hesitant anymore, yay. I pushed myself closer to him and let my tongue trace over every part of his lips. His tongue moved opposite of mine, quickly creating a battle to see whose tongue was able to touch whose lips. Our tongues fought for awhile before he gave up, letting my tongue slip into his mouth. I giggled in victory as I scraped my tongue against his teeth. Jesse’s body moved to the side, rolling us over slowly. I panted slightly, anxious to feel his body pressing against mine. He laughed softly and finished the turn, slowly pushing himself closer to me, increasing the weight of his body on mine ounce by ounce. My arms wrapped around his back tightly, crushing him against me. His lips moved against mine with more passion then started slowly heading down to my neck. I tilted my head back to give him more skin, but he moved his mouth back up to my lips as soon as they touched my neck. I sighed, feeling jipped of a neck bite, but content to kiss him either way. He flicked his tongue across my bottom lip gently, slowly, and lightly. Ugh, he was teasing me. I squirmed and whimpered slightly, causing him to laugh. His lips pressed against my throat and then he rolled away from me.
“You should sleep now. It’s late.” I groaned, but I knew he was right.
“Are you staying?”
“Do you want me to?” He looked at me. Of course I did, how could he even ask that?
“Well, yeah.” I looked down. Did he not want to? Suddenly I looked back up at him sharply.
“You have to. Forever. I need you in here. What if it happens again?”
He wrapped his arms around me. “That will not happen. But I’ll stay.” I smiled and hugged him.
“I’m so sorry, Naleigh.” I pulled away to look at him and my heart broke at the sad expression on his face.
“Jez, it’s okay. I’m fine, thanks to you. Thank you.” I smiled at him and went on my tip toes to give him a kiss and then rested my head on his chest, hugging him. His arms stayed wrapped around me and I could feel the protection and love in his touch. Suddenly I eyed the clock.
“Urgh. It is late. I should probably go take my shower now.” I unwrapped my arms from around Jesse unwillingly.
“Okay. I’ll add the finishing touches to my project while you’re gone.” Halfway to the door, I paused and turned around.
“The one due tomorrow.” My eyes widened.
“What project due tomorrow?!” Oh my gosh, there was a project due tomorrow?! I didn’t know about it! When did this happen?
“Uh, the one for English. About Lucy Maud Montgomery.”
“What the—I never heard about this project! Oh, what am I going to do?!” I began pacing.
“Make a project quickly,” Jesse offered and I shot him a look.
“That’s just great. What’s it about?”
“We’re supposed to pick our favourite Lucy Maud Montgomery poem and write a paper on why we like it and bring in an item that we think of when we read the poem, or makes us think of the poem.”
“Ugh when did we go back to third grade?” Jesse shrugged. I sighed.
“Fine. I’ll just have to pick a Montgomery poem at random and find an item. The paper, though… Ugh.” I hopped around my room frantically, trying to find my English literature book and trying to think of ways to express my love for a poem that I’ll barely have read. Why did we have to be studying Canadian poetry at this time? It’s not like I really knew them that well. I mean, I was more into the stuff by Robert Frost and e.e. cummings and Edgar Allen Poe; you know, people that others have actually heard about, the famous people… Gah.
I flipped open the literature book and scanned the poems, stopping on one that had a cool title. Shore Twilight. I flipped to the page and read it quickly, deciding that it was worthy enough to be my favourite. I copied it down quickly, analyzing its meaning. She was basically talking about how the day had ended, and another beautiful day would be beginning. At least, that’s what I thought. Anyway, it didn’t matter if my analysis was right or not, since I only needed to write a paper about why it was my favourite. Analyzing it would help me with the paper, though, so that’s why I did it.
I grabbed my laptop and turned it on, opening a word document as quickly as I could. My fingers hovered over the keyboard. What did I like about the idea of a new day beginning?
“Gah! Jesse, I can’t do this. What’s good about a day ending and a new one starting? Holy frak, why did I pick that poem?! Why are we even talking about poems? And by someone practically unknown, nonetheless. Oh my goodness, I’m going to fail school! I can’t do this.” I pounded my fingers on the keyboard in frustration. Jesse just sat on my bed and laughed. I shoved my laptop away and jumped up to look for an item, glaring at Jesse.
“You could at least help me, you know. I didn’t even know about this project until now and I’m totally unprepared and I don’t know what I’m going to do and I need to take a shower and I have no ideas for a paper and I didn’t know about this until now. Why did I not know about this?”
“Weren’t you paying attention in class?” I blushed as I thought of what I had been thinking about when I wasn’t concentrating on schoolwork. Jesse laughed again and I groaned, continuing my search around the room for something to remind me of the poem.
Jesse got off my bed and walked over to me, grabbing me by the shoulders gently.
“I’ll help you. Look, why don’t you grab your notebook and write down what you think about when you think of the prospect of a new day starting?” I calmed down under his touch and looked at my notebook.
“I think of sleeping and then waking up the next morning to continue the same boring routine.”
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“No, Jesse, I didn’t mean—“ He laughed and I looked at him. Amusement was in his eyes; he had been joking. I sighed. He guided me over to my bed and sat me down, picking up my notebook and flipping to a new page. I picked up my pen and sighed, glancing over at the poem and my analysis.
Ok… Day ending, new one beginning.
The end of a day is sad, when you have enjoyed the day. But isn’t it good to know that you have something to look forward to? When you can sit back and say, ‘This is my life, I’m happy. Each day will bring me something new, each day will bring me to you. This night ends but I’m still alive and tomorrow I’ll see your face again. What more could I ask?’ Day brings surprise and joy, why not wish for one more? One more chance to smile, to laugh… One more chance to feel like you belong… One more chance to look at him and just know… Because as long as he’s there, every day will be something to cherish. Crying over one day ending is worthless if you know that everything going to happen again the next day. When your days run out, you can feel sad, but remembering the days that you once looked forward to will be enough to carry you on. So don’t look at the sunset and frown. Smile, because that will be when you think of me and know that I love you too. I look forward to spending all of my days with you.
I looked at my page and blinked. Wow. Now Shore Twilight was actually my favourite poem. It made me think of Jesse now, and I could tell that the words I wrote in my notebook would be inspiring a song. It might have been already.
Jesse peered over my shoulder, reading.
“I knew you could do it. Now, write that into the paper and pick an item.” I smiled, wondering if Jesse could tell that I began to mention him in the little part I had written.
Instead of writing what I wrote into my school paper, I wrote about how the poem inspired stuff like what I wrote (leaving out specifics) and could inspire people to enjoy their days, even if one day turns out different than they’d planned. Honestly, it was a very cheesy paper, but it was exactly the kind of paper my teacher would like. Hopefully, anyway.
The item I chose to represent the paper was a picture my mom had taken of the sun rising over the lake. You couldn’t really tell where the sun was though; the picture just had an overall orange and red tint to it, so it could pose as a sunset. It was a beautiful picture. The trees that bordered the other side of the lake were black, and the fiery colours of red, orange, yellow, and pink streaked their way across the lake and the sky, blending together and working against each other in a beautiful array. I smiled. It may be a last minute project, but it was inspired mostly by Jesse and that would make it great. Whether I got a good grade or not, it was a good project. Way better than it would have been without his help.
I grinned at Jesse as I thought this and proofread my paper before quickly printing it and placing it next to the lake picture. Then I went to take my shower, ready for sleep.
Evil laughter filled the room, jolting me awake. The bed next to me was empty, then suddenly Gabriel was laying there like Jesse would have been. I backed away from him, about to grab my covers and leave when I heard a growl from behind me. I looked to see Jesse briefly before he was on Gabriel, attacking him. Suddenly, Gabriel was in the middle of the room and cloaked. I couldn’t see his face at all.
“Jesse.” A creepy, raspy voice reprimanded and suddenly Jesse stopped moving. The fear in his eyes was so intense that I shuddered. The evil laughter sounded again and I realised that this was not right. This had happened before, but different.
“Tell her, Jesse. Tell her the truth.” The creepy voice whispered, sounding like it was right next to me yet sounding like it was all around the room at the same time.
My eye flickered to Jesse. He looked at the shadow in regretful agreement and then looked at me. Pain flashed across his face before it turned apathetic.
“Ah, Annaleigh. Such a silly girl. Did you think I really loved you? You thought we would have a happy life together? Thought I wanted such a thing? Hmm, you could be right. But that doesn’t matter. I’m here because of… Just listen. There’s something you need to d—“ Screams suddenly filled the room and Jesse’s image flickered back and forth before disappearing. Then he was on his knees in front of the dark figure, pleading and begging.
“Please,” he started to say but a scream drowned out his voice. Blood spurted in every direction. I could not see the point of origin, but I noticed that Jesse was gone. Pools of blood covered the floor, pools with Jesse’s reflecting gleaming subtly. The shadow laughed evilly and I felt tears stream out of my eyes as I wished that this dream would just end already. Even so, I could feel an odd thirst for the blood. I walked towards a pool of blood with my eyes wide and my mouth watering.
No! Stop it! I screamed at myself in my head, but it was no use. I wanted that blood.
“That’s it, Anna. Drink it.” I heard the deep, raspy, melodic voice as if it was being broadcasted over a PA system. I jumped slightly and stopped dead in my tracks. I knew the shadow was speaking, but I could see nothing about the shadow except that it was the general silhouette of a body. There was nothing significant about it, nothing that could help me determine its size or shape. Nothing that would help me recognise who was underneath the blackness.
“Drink it.” The voice whispered raspily, still being broadcasted. My desire for the blood intensified as I thought about the action of doing what the voice commanded, but at the same time I was horrified and repulsed by the blood. I didn’t even know whose it was. If it was the shadows’, how could I be sure that it wouldn’t kill me somehow? And if it was the blood of someone I knew, what kind of monster would I be for drinking it? I turned away from the blood unwillingly, feeling an odd flash in my eyes. I looked down at a pool of blood, hoping I could see my reflection and determine why my eyes flashed, but all I saw was Jesse. And then everything was black.
I woke up with a start, panting and gasping, looking around my room frantically. There were no shadows, no pools of blood, nothing out of the ordinary. Jesse lay beside me, still asleep. I stared at him, scared that he would suddenly fade and my dream would play out again. But he stayed there. His calm, light, rhythmic breathing eventually soothed my fear and made me tired. I laid back down, careful not to wake him, and pulled the covers up to my shoulders. I scooted closer to Jesse, laying my arm against his gently, keeping my eyes on him the entire time. I had to touch him, to watch him, to know that he was there. I needed him to be there. Not just to make me forget my dream, but to make sure that he wouldn’t suddenly disappear like in my dream.
My dream was getting creepier the more it happened. It got longer, too. And there was more interaction. More things were said each time, and I understood what was going on a little bit better each time. But more confusing things happened each time, also. What was the purpose of these dreams? Why was I having them? How would they end?
Most important question, would I tell Jesse? Could I?
What would happen if I did? What would happen if I didn’t? Was I willing to find out? What would I find out? Would I ever find out the meaning to these dreams? Could I use the plural when technically it was the same dream, just changing each time? Why did it change each time? Were these changes significant? If they were, would I find out? And what if I didn’t? What significance could the changes have, if they had any significance? Did the dream have significance, even? And would I ever find out?
The next morning when I woke up, I was tired and haunted from my dream. I had opened my eyes to see Jesse staring at me, our bodies pressed together and our arms around each other. I groaned and shut my eyes again, subconsciously pulling Jesse closer to me. He stroked my cheek gently and I opened my eyes again to look at him. He looked worried.
I blinked rapidly, trying to wake up. “What’s wrong?” He pulled me closer as I spoke.
“Nothing. I think. Are you alright?”
“Um, should I not be?”
“No. I was just checking. You look like you had a rough night.” He eyed me with concern. I groaned.
“Is that your polite way of telling me I look like crap?” Jesse laughed slightly.
“I would never say that. It would never be true, anyway. No, I was saying you looked like you hadn’t gotten much sleep at all.”
“Oh.” It had been hard to go back to sleep after my dream, sure, but Jesse’s breathing had calmed me. I thought I slept pretty deeply after that. Should I tell Jesse about my dream? Not everything, of course, but mention that I had a bad dream? Or would it worry him unnecessarily?
“Oh, um, no. I-I slept good, I think.” Only half a lie.
“Okay.” Jesse nodded once, satisfied, and I sighed quietly. I shimmied down in my bed a bit so I could lay my head against Jesse’s chest and sighed again, closing my eyes. His arms held me closer and I could feel him breathing, feel the thrum of his heart. I could hear the way it beat, the rhythm in which his blood pumped through his body. It was almost as if I could feel his blood running through his veins itself. A light shiver rippled through me as the observation reminded me of the blood thirst I had felt in my dream. Jesse’s arms tightened automatically, and his hands made sure the covers were over me completely. I smiled at his concern, but inwardly frowned because being cold wasn’t why I shivered. But I guess it was too much to expect to be at least a little bit normal, eh? I’m a vampire. I can’t be normal. Granted, I don’t drink blood. But that doesn’t mean I’m human. I am partially, yes, but not completely. I’m just some freaky hybrid or something. I don’t know. It doesn’t make much sense to me, really. All I know is what I’ve been told and what I’ve heard. I’ve never met the original vampire, and I probably never will. Same with my mother. I guess I’ll just have to accept what I am, even though I’m not completely sure what that is, and live my life. Hopefully I’ll live a happy life.
But what would be a happy life exactly? I don’t know what college I want to go to or what career I want to aspire for. I’d be happy just staying with Jesse forever. Well, it’s too soon to think about marriage of course, and I don’t even know what I think about that. I have no clue what I think about anything. I don’t know what I want. I’m not even sure what I’m going on about right now. I’m probably just stalling; I don’t want to go to school. I sighed. Jesse’s hands, which had been rubbing my back, stopped moving.
“What’s up?” He looked down at me. I shrugged and looked up at him, momentarily getting sidetracked by his beautiful blue eyes. They were gorgeous, bright, surreal, so deep… Every thought of his lay behind his eyes. Most of the time, I could see his thoughts through his eyes but I wondered what other thoughts lay back there… What secrets did Jesse hide? How much did I really know about the only person I ever wanted to love? Did I really know that he loved me back? His eyes told me so, but I couldn’t see everything that was hidden beneath his lovely irises. Not that I doubted him, of course not. But whatever was underneath his eyes intrigued me, almost as much as the colour alone.
“Nothing. I just don’t feel like going to school.” Hmm, I wonder how long I had paused, just staring into his eyes and thinking an endless wondering of thoughts. Jesse gave me an amused smile.
“You don’t want to skip do you, after doing all that frantic project work last night?” I groaned. I had forgotten about the frantic work. I probably would have skipped if it wasn’t for all that effort I had used last night.
“Noooo….” I drew out the word, emphasising my unwillingness to answer with that response. Unwilling to respond with that answer. Hmm… Interesting.
Jesse laughed and pressed his lips to my forehead. I closed my eyes and sighed; then I tipped my head up slowly. His lips moved down my face even slower, waiting for my lips to come near to his. I pressed my toes against the bed to scoot my body up higher so I could actually reach his face with mine. [Author’s note, could I have worded that worsely? That doesn’t even make sense. Oh shoot, I’m interrupting a possibly passionate moment here..hehe. Buscuse me. Leaving now.]
Laughing lightly, Jesse moved his lips along my cheek, placing them against my hair right in front of my ear.
“I love you,” he whispered so softly that I barely heard it. His breath tickled my ear, washing an overwhelming desire over me. I grabbed his face and pulled it away from my ear, attaching his mouth to mine. He kissed me back, using the same amount of passion that I was using. I pressed myself closer to him and his body moved with mine, leaning back until he was laying on his back and I was on his stomach. Our lips never moved away from each others’. The tip of my tongue pressed lightly against his bottom lip. His lips parted reflexively and I slid my tongue closer to the inside of his mouth slowly, pausing every few seconds just to tease him and try to force some reaction out of him. Unfortunately, he had the patience of a mule (do mules have a high patience? I don’t know) and he just waited for me to slip my tongue inside his mouth without any urgency. So I ended up frustrating myself instead, and I all but shoved my tongue through his lips. Jesse laughed slightly, but quickly busied himself with my lips and tongue, licking them one after another. [Gah! I couldn’t think of a word. At first I was thinking intravenously but that was wrong, and then so was intermissibly. That last one isn’t even a word. But you know what I mean, right?]
His tongue was soft against my lips, and it seemed like he was trying to put his tongue in my mouth but every time I was about to let him, he took his tongue away and pressed it against mine. After awhile, I withdrew my tongue and flicked it across his bottom lip once more before moving my lips away from his. I continued kissing him, moving my mouth down to his neck slowly. Halfway, I wondered if it was a good idea to do this, after the dream I’d had, and the fact that I was aware of the blood pulsing in his veins. Mentally, I scoffed at myself. It’s not like I’m going to drink Jesse’s blood. Ugh. I wouldn’t dare. Besides, I wasn’t supposed to be bloodthirsty at all. What was going on with me recently?
Once my lips reached Jesse’s neck, he flipped us over suddenly. The movement forced my lips away from his neck, but his lips quickly found mine so I had no complaints. He kissed me softly, suddenly hesitant. I sighed and he pulled away.
“What?” I asked him.
“We’ll be late for school if we keep this up.” The tone in his voice and the look in his eyes told me that he didn’t actually mind being late for school. Given the choices, I would skip school in less than a heartbeat. I’d rather stay here with Jesse any day. But… The project… Jesse wouldn’t allow us to skip today, after all the hard work last night.
Oh, well. At least today is Friday. No school tomorrow. Jesse and I could hang out together all weekend. The thought brightened my mood, so I wasn’t as reluctant to get ready for school. Time had passed us by sooner than I thought, so I rushed to get ready to make sure we had enough time.
“Annaleigh, slow down. We don’t have to walk to school.”
“Yeah, I know. But I like to. Don’t you?”
“Of course I do. But I was thinking…” I stopped, one arm in my jacket, and looked at Jesse. I raised my eyebrow.
“Well… if we’re going to go to Toronto this weekend, I’ll have to drive us there, and maybe your parents will be more accepting if I’ve driven recently, so we could drive to school…” Jesse and I both have our licenses, but we hardly ever used them. The only places we ever really needed to go were within walking distance (each other’s houses, the store, Aragain Lodge) or had prearranged transportation (school). My parents hardly ever drove, either, since their work was practically our front yard. Unlike me, Jesse had his own car; I shared my parents’.
“Okay. But I’m still not sure if they’ll let us go all the way to Toronto…” I resumed putting on my jacket.
“They will,” Jesse said confidently. “They’ll have to,” I heard him murmur as I began putting my shoes on. I was sure Jesse didn’t intend for me to hear that, probably didn’t even intend to say it out loud, so I pretended as if I didn’t hear it. I wonder why he was so adamant about going to Toronto. Not that I minded. But it was odd. Wasn’t it? Maybe it wasn’t. I don’t know.
[Ok, the author is going to skip this because she’s sick of writing about the school days and such. And she has no idea how to get the parents to agree to Jesse and Annaleigh going to Toronto…. So let’s just say that they went to school, Jesse driving of course, and the parents took awhile to convince but gave in. Jesse threw around some names of places in Toronto that had scholarly stuff and made some school excuses, whatever. So Annaleigh and Jesse are going to leave on Saturday morning. It’s about a three hour drive. I’m also skipping the drive. And I have no clue where they actually go, but what happens is important, not how they get there! So =P!!!! We’re just skipping to wherever Annaleigh and Jesse are…… Actually, I don’t know where we’re skipping to…. Uhmmm… They have find him. And Jesse. It should be underground but that’s cliché. A mansion? Something like that.
The character is old and rich and powerful and lives in like a mansion or something. And just blah blah blah it’s big and grand and there’s a “dungeon” and he has a lot of workers and different rooms for the different work and all sorts of crap, ok? Ok.]
“Wow,” I breathed. “What is this place?” As we walked up the huge green lawn to the front door of a castle-like mansion, Jesse walked slowly and hesitantly, begrudgingly. I could barely pay attention to him as I took in the scenery. The house was so huge, and the lawn was so lush and green. Trees surrounded the yard with a sprinkling of bushes and flowers. The stone walkway led up to a stone array in front of the door. Everything was so beautiful, so ostentatious, it’s hard to describe.
During the drive, Jesse had been a little absentminded and distracted, with a casual display of apathy, but I could see the sadness and remorse underneath his emotionless state. I just didn’t understand why. I didn’t pay too much attention to it, though. Jesse probably had a lot on his mind, and I didn’t want to be the prying girlfriend. It wasn’t as if Jesse had been acting depressed; if that was the case, I would have said something. He just looked preoccupied with his thoughts, and those thoughts just probably weren’t happy memories or whatever. I wasn’t worried about Jesse. Being worried about him was useless, anyway. And he drove fine, it’s not like he was so distracted that we almost had an accident. No, he was his normal self. But with occasional side glances and random slight frowns.
And now Jesse was acting like he didn’t want to be here.
“It’s, it’s… Well, you’ll see.” We walked up the steps to the front porch and Jesse knocked on the door. It opened immediately and he wrapped his arm around my waist, turning to look at me before we stepped inside.
“Annaleigh, no matter what, just remember that I love you. I never lied about that; I will always love you.” He pressed his lips to mine gently and whisked me inside before I could inquire about his words. We were immediately greeted by a blonde woman wearing a suit, carrying a clipboard, and talking into a earpiece.
“Do you have an appointment?” She eyed us warily, looking strictly business-centered. Typical workaholic.
“Tell him it’s Jesse Savage, please.” Jesse swallowed and glanced at me. “And Annaleigh Pace.” He closed his eyes for second and his body twitched backwards slightly. I wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t standing next to him with his arm wrapped around me.
“Oh. Oh! Oh.” The lady’s eyes widened as she looked at me again.
“Oh, yes, right away.” She walked off. I looked at Jesse quizzically, but his eyes stayed straight ahead, refusing to look at me. I sighed and shrugged.
The secretary-like woman came back. “Please, come quickly.” She gestured us forward. Jesse started walking and I followed him. When we had caught up to the woman, she gave a quick glance to Jesse’s arm and he pulled it away suddenly as if he hadn’t realised his arm was still around me. I looked at him again, but he still refused to look at me. His eyes were now downcast, and I could have sworn I saw a tear behind his eyelid, but then Jesse blinked and it was gone. I grabbed Jesse’s hand, half expecting him to pull away, but he didn’t.
We continued walking down the hall, past several rooms with closed doors. I could hear that there were people all over the place, but I couldn’t tell where they were or what they were doing. Finally, we came to the end of the hall and turned into a new one, one that was small and dark. If you weren’t looking for it, you would have missed it. I actually thought the lady was heading into a wall until I saw that it was another hallway. Every few feet, the woman stopped and pressed her fingers to the wall. When we came to the end of the hall, the wall separated into a room and we walked inside. Oh, how original- a secret doorway.
Once we walked through, we came to a door. Jesse turned and looked at me with apology and sadness in his eyes. It was beginning to scare me. Was Jesse leading me to my death or something? The confusion and fear must have shown on my face, for Jesse suddenly smiled encouragingly and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. The taste of a goodbye suddenly appeared on my tongue and I swallowed tears. I wish Jesse would just talk to me, tell me what’s going on.
“Don’t worry, Annaleigh. Everything’s fine. You’ll see soon. This is how it’s supposed to be, this will be your happy life. Just remember, I’ll always love you.” Jesse whispered quickly and softly.
The door opened suddenly and the lady gestured us inside. Jesse let go of my hand and walked in first. I followed him, and the business woman was behind me.
“You can leave us, Bailey.” A voice called from the darkness.
“Yes, Master.” She dipped her head and left, shutting the door behind her. I turned to Jesse, who was staring at the place where they voice had come from with a defiant reverence. My eyes blinked rapidly to adjust as bright lights suddenly came on. I looked where Jesse was looking. A dark, shadowed figure was standing in the midst of a bunch of guards. They looked like guards anyway. Most were big and bulky, and they all held protective stances.
A sudden shiver of fear ran through me as my eyes scanned the shadowed figure. It was obvious that he had some sort of coat or cloak on, but he reminded me of the figure in my dream.
His hand waved his guards away and they parted, standing along the wall. The figure turned towards us and began walking slowly.
“Hello. My name is Gabriel.” Panic struck me as he spoke. Firstly, because his voice sounded exactly like the one from my dream. Secondly, because of his name. I scanned him quickly, processing. He looked like the Gabriel that had come into my room, only older. He had the same teenager-y resemblance about him, but I could tell that he was much older, though he didn’t have wrinkles. His eyes were a dark brown that almost looked black, but shone in honey colours when the light reflected off of them just right, or when he smiled. His curly dark brown hair was a bit longer than most curly haired people kept their hair, but it didn’t look unkempt. It looked soft, yet thick, and was straighter in some places.
“Anna, I’ve been waiting for you,” he spoke in the raspy voice I had grown to hate. I cringed into Jesse’s side. His arms automatically moved near me but then he leaned back, stepping away from me.
“H-How do you know my name?” What was going on? Why did he look like and have the same name as my almost-rapist? Why did he have the same voice from my dream? Why did Jesse bring me here and why was he acting like he was?
“Oh, Annaleigh… I’m your father, your fate, everything that you’ve been waiting for, everything that you need.” WHAT THE HELL?!
“What?” I looked at Jesse for an explanation, but his eyes never moved from Gabriel.
“I, y-you came into my room! You almost raped me! What makes you think I want to have anything to do with you?! What kind of sick, deluded psychopath are you?!” Jesse winced suddenly.
“Annaleigh,” he whispered to me in warning. I shot him an angry look. I was sick of this, not knowing what was going on. And I thought Jesse had said Gabriel wasn’t going to bother me anymore.
Gabriel laughed. “That wasn’t me, my dear. No, I wouldn’t have to stoop to such levels.” His lips twitched in amusement.
“Well then who the hel—“
“Ah, I believe that was an enemy of mine. Maury, a mimicker who had worked for me and forgot to appreciate the conditions. He swore to me that I would fall. Well, it seems as if he was wrong about that; he was the one to die, eh?” Gabriel looked at Jesse, smiling.
“What’s a mimicker?”
“A mimicker is one of the most blessed, a vampire given the power to change forms. Shapeshift, if you will. Maury was one of the most talented; he could mold himself into practically anything. After the events, I almost regret giving him the mimicking ability. But it looks like we avoided a tragedy, thanks to Jesse here.” He nodded to Jesse, then turned thoughtful.
“Although I’m sure he almost took it on several occasions, despite his knowledge of the trouble that would cause. Hmm, I never guessed that this would happen when I… Oh, well. She’s still clean, ready for me, ready for the world. Still, a punishment for almost allowing a simple mistake might be justified…” Gabriel eyed Jesse indecisively. My gaze flitted between Gabriel and Jesse. Just what was he talking about and why was he looking at Jesse like that?
“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. You don’t know what’s going on, do you?” He turned to me.
“Uh, no. I don’t.”
“Well, I asked him to keep it that way. I wanted to tell you myself. And to be honest, I wasn’t really sure that you’d be open to this if you knew in advance. Of course, it doesn’t really matter anyway, but I didn’t want to take the chance… Anyway, I’m sure you’re past due for explanations.” He smiled at me as if he was doing me some great big favour. I didn’t like it, it made me feel uncomfortable.
“You do know what you are, don’t you?” I nodded. “And you know how you were made that way?”
I glanced at Jesse, unsure if he knew what we were talking about. I figured he must have known some, so I would just say the words.
“Because my father is a vampire, yes.” I looked at Jesse again, wondering if he would be shocked, but his face showed no different display of emotions.
“Well, you’re wrong about that, dear. I am not your father. You were created by two humans; I just supplied the vampire DNA. It seems as though I got more out of the deal, though. You are truly beautiful.” Wait, this guy was the vampire? The original Dracula? The only full-on vampire? The one that all human vampires were made out of? What was he talking about, a deal?
“Huh?” Oh so brilliant.
He chuckled. “I see I may have to start from the beginning.” Yeah, that might be nice.
“I am a vampire, the only complete vampire. For now, anyway. Many centuries ago, I decided that I would be generous and give others some vampire gene, to help create hybrids of vampire and human. I kept many of them to work with me, which turned out to be a good idea, for I later found out that a lot of the spawn developed other senses. Abilities. Things that made them even more special than the others. My ‘children’, if you will, were always willing to work for me and help the general wellbeing of all, and those with abilities helped me especially. About 100 years ago, one of my most special and cherished children, gifted with a vague precognition, informed me that one that I would spawn would grow to become the most talented, as long as she was fully transformed. Of course, I immediately realised that such a girl could not be allowed to leave my side, so I made arrangements to be sure that this girl would be born and taken care of, then brought to me six months before her 18th birthday, on which day I would complete her transformation and therefore make her the second vampire, also my mate and queen. Realising that the children became more human like with each creation, I froze the next injected embryo, making sure that it would stay frozen until I learned that the precognited girl started to come into being. Eighteen years ago, my future-seeing one came to me and told me that the time was approaching, so I found an incubator and started the birthing process for the frozen embryo. When I met your mother, I felt immediately that the time had come, a fact that was only confirmed by my precognitive one. By this time, Jesse had been born a few months earlier. He was the only of my spawn that I raised as my own. I needed to teach him, to make sure he would know to find you, be sure that I could trust him to bring you to me. He was taught since birth the meaning that you would bring into life for the vampires and the human vampire spawn. Of course, I never foresaw that he would fall into foolish teenaged love with you, but no matter. He knows the future that is waiting for you, for us. Once your transformation is complete, you will make the most beautiful bride, and the second greatest leader to the vampire world. And should I ever be knocked from my throne, an unfortunate event as it may, I can trust that my throne will be left to the most capable hands. Oh, how well this has wrapped up!” Gabriel clasped his hands together, a wide smile on his face.
I blinked, processing. Jesse was a vampire also? But, he had never told me… Well, I’d never told him either. But he was raised by Gabriel, to bring me to him? And I was supposed to marry this guy? And then what, lead the vampire army?
“Hmm, maybe I should have made some things more clear. You, Annaleigh, will be the first human vampire to be transformed into a complete vampire. The reason for this being that your gifts and talents once transformed shall be something beyond anything that anyone could ever guess. And after so many meaningless trysts and affairs, I’m ready to have one mate and one mate alone. Well, I suppose they weren’t all meaningless, for they all had the purpose of bringing more human vampires into being. Nonetheless, I’ve been waiting for you for a century, Anna, not just to carry on my legacy after I retire, if that shall ever happen, but to love. I trust that my dear Jesse has kept your virginity intact?” He looked at me in wonder. I blushed and nodded.
“Good. Very good. I had never expected that you and he would form a more… intimate bond, but I trusted him to know the rules and keep them. I’m glad to see that I have not been let down.” So what the frak? This guy had slept with several women to create human vampires, but he wanted a bride who could wear white? Pfft, how hypocritical. And who said I even had to be his bride? Ugh. No, thank you. And rule the vampire world? Double no, thank you.
“I see he did not tell you. Of course, how can I be surprised, when he didn’t even tell you that he was like you himself? Mmm… I guess I have to fill in all the gaps Jesse left you with. Not that I mind.” His eyes traveled down my body, causing a chill to go up my spine. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.
“Part of the transformation process would require you to be a virgin. My vampire DNA would not be able to inject into you fully if… other… injections had been made. From a human, or from a human vampire, no matter. The vampire gene would not travel completely, which is why each creation of mine was at least half human.” His words sunk in, embarrassing me and infuriating me at the same time. Having him discuss my sex life (or lack thereof) with Jesse was embarrassing enough without it being in front of Jesse. The infuriating part was that he actually expected me to have sex with him. Gross. There was no way I was being the mate of this guy, and no way I was going to be the potential leader if he was ever killed. Just… no. Gah.
With my arms still folded across my chest, I continued glaring at him. I figured it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to come outright and say no, but there was no way I was doing any of this. I didn’t want to be the potential leader, and I certainly didn’t want some old, disgusting vampire as my mate. Technically, he was my father, anyway, right?
“Ah, I’m sensing some resistance.” He stepped closer until he was standing right in front of me and placed one hand on my arms, stroking my cheek with the other hand.
“What’s the matter, Anna?” His voice was low, next to my face, and his breath fanned over me.
“You don’t like the plan? Your destiny?” He whispered raspily, getting closer to me with each word. I shuddered away from him.
“Now, now.” He grabbed my arm and spun me back to him, pressing his body close to mine.
“Let’s not delay the inevitable.” The gleam in his eye struck fear and determination into my heart. I growled at him and tried to back away again, this time forcefully. He laughed and held me to him, trailing his finger down my cheek to my shoulder and across my collarbone.
“You are my father,” I spit at him as I shoved him away. The look on his face made me think about the other Gabriel, the one that had been in my room, and I feared that memory would be repeating itself. But he backed away, returning to the spot he had been standing when we entered the room.
“No, I’m not, Annaleigh. You were created by a human mother and a human father. My vampire genes just transformed you into a little bit more than you were, a tiny slice of what you can become. The vampire chromosome does not change your DNA at all, not in the way of whose blood runs through your veins, not in a way that would relate you to me or Jesse or any of the other human vampire spawns.” Ok, but still. This guy was centuries old!
“I don’t want to lead anyone.”
“Oh, but you will, my darling. You will.” He began to motion to his guards but I stopped him by speaking.
“Oh really? And you would know this how? Did your precognitive child tell you this? Huh? Well I don’t! I don’t want to be a leader, I don’t want to be your mate, I don’t want to have anything to do with you. I don’t even want to be turned into a full vampire. I want to go back home and I want to go to school and hang out with Jesse and my friends. Did the one with precognition tell you this? Did she tell you that I would resist? Do you have some kind of plan to force me into this? Huh? Are you going to be like the mimicker, are you going to try to rape me? Well how will you force me to lead your stupid spawn? Are you even capable of doing all of that? I don’t think so. So why don’t you just leave me and Jesse the hell alone? That sounds like a plan to me.” A million emotions raced through me, the most dominant being fear and anger.
“Laira’s visions were never wrong, my dear Annaleigh. We even tested her on several occasions, changing the events of several things with every possible change, but they all produced the same outcome. You will become my mate, you will be transformed, and you will lead them if anything should ever happen to me, because you will love me!” He was calm and emotionless at first, as he had been throughout this entire thing, but he grew more animated as he talked. He had taken a step closer to me with each word, raising the volume of his voice with each step, and now he stood in front of me. When he spoke the last five words, he grabbed me and pulled me tight against him. Now he glared at me for a second before securing me against him by pressing one of his hands into my back. His other hand traveled down the side of my body as he leaned in to kiss me. I held back a sob as his lips met mine, and I felt bile rise in my stomach to my throat. His mouth moved down my lips and to my neck. Suddenly, I felt the need to distract him before he went any further. And I also had an idea.
“Can’t you just bite me? I mean, to transform me?” Gabriel let go of me with one hand and backed up slightly to peer at my face. A shiver ran down my spine as his hand left my body, and I wished he hadn’t done that in front of Jesse. I wished he hadn’t done that at all.
“I suppose a bite would work. But it’s outrageously cliché, isn’t it? And this will be so much more fun.” He leaned closer to me as he spoke the last sentence, reducing his voice to a whisper as his lips pressed against my skin under my collarbone. I trembled in fear and disgust.
“Mmm, it’s nice to know you’re anticipating this as much as I am, my darling, but you are simply not ready. Not to worry, your transformation will come soon enough.” He grinned at me as he pulled away. I worked hard to stay motionless and not let any emotion come over my face. He summoned to his guards and they came to me and Jesse.
“Do not worry, my darling. Your accommodations will be luxurious.” His guards escorted us out the door and down the small, dark hallway to another hallway much like the one Bailey had led us down earlier. We walked up a flight of grand steps and turned into another hallway, passing several more closed doors and going up another three flights of stairs. Jesse and the guards escorting him stopped at a door on the left. I turned to look at him wistfully as the guards with me kept going. They led me to a door on the right at the end of the hallway, right before the turn off into another hallway. I eyed the door that Jesse had gone in subtly, memorising where it was. The guards deposited me in the room and left quickly. The room was grand and luxurious, but I barely noticed it. All I could do was fall onto the bed and cry.
I woke up to a knock on my door. I quickly wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and walked over to the door. Then I hesitated. What if it was Gabriel?
I opened it anyway. Jesse was standing there, looking unsure. I grabbed his arm and yanked him in, shutting the door quickly. I turned to him, ready to throw my arms around him and never let go, but I hesitated suddenly, wondering if I should be mad at him. The look on his face stopped any anger I might have had, and I quickly pulled him close to me, hugging him tightly. He let out a sigh of relief and hugged me back. My sobs quickly started up again as I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Wh-wh…? You, I… He’s… I don’t want to, Jesse. I don’t want to.” I cried. Jesse rubbed soothing circles in my back, but said nothing. I continued sobbing, randomly sputtering out words and clinging to him with all my might. Eventually, he guided me over to the bed and sat next to me, still hugging me and trying to soothe me. After awhile, it worked and I calmed down. I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes, waiting for him to say something.
“I’m sorry, Annaleigh, I’m sorry.”
“For not telling you.”
“For not telling me what?” I narrowed my eyes. “For not telling me that you’re a vampire? Whatever, I’m one too and I didn’t tell you. For not telling me that our whole life, our entire friendship was a lie? For forgetting to mention that you had a reason to be friends with me, and that reason was so that you could drag me back to this old guy, where I would then become a full vampire and his mate?! For not realising that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t want that?! For not considering MY life and how I want to live it?! Is that what you’re sorry for, Jesse? Is it?!” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I didn’t want to start the hysterical crying again. And, honestly, this wasn’t Jesse’s fault. It was just hard to remember that when I was so angry.
“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” Jesse looked so broken, so worried, so remorseful… There really was no other choice than to forgive him. Not that I was going to be unforgiving towards him in the first place, but you know what I mean.
I scooted closer to Jesse and wrapped my arms around him, laying my head on his shoulder. “I forgive you.”
His arms wrapped around me lightly, tentatively. “Really?”
“Duh.” I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. “I love you, remember?” Despite all the worry and distraction that had been on his face since we left for Toronto, Jesse smiled.
“I love you too.” I smiled back at him and lay my head on his shoulder again.
“Through all that I didn’t tell you, that is the one thing that I have said that will always be true, no matter what. I need you to believe me, believe that I could never stop loving you no matter what happens, even if you stop loving me. Just know I’ll always love you.” Jesse’s words were sweet, but they confused me. It was as if he thought I would be mad at him for not telling me about Gabriel, or that I would ever stop loving him. Impossible.
“Okay. I believe you, Jesse. But I will always love you, no matter what. I could never stop, even if I wanted to.” I looked into his eyes, begging him to believe me, hoping that he could see the truth.
“But he’s offering you everything. I can’t give you anything. I’m just the pawn he used to get to you. I was born and raised for him, so he could get what he want. Once he has that, I don’t think I’ll be of much use anymore, especially because he knows I’ve fallen in love with you.” Jesse stroked my cheek.
“Everything?” I scoffed. “Hardly. He’s merely offering me what he wants. I don’t want to be a full vampire, I don’t want to be the potential leader, and I certainly don’t want to be his mate.” I shuddered.
“Annaleigh, you’re only looking at the cons and you’re letting me blind your sight. He’s offering you eternity, money, power…”
“I don’t care about money or power. Eternity would be hell without you, Jesse. If I live forever, I want my life to be intertwined with yours.” Well, this was getting to be forward.
“It can’t work out that way. No matter how much I want it to,” he murmured. I touched his cheek and looked at him.
“What do you mean?”
“I served my purpose; I brought you here. There is no way he is going to let either of us live if it’s not the way he planned.” He shrugged, but I could see the pain blazing in his eyes.
“Are you saying that he’ll kill you if I don’t comply?!” I felt angry at Gabriel and protective of Jesse.
“No. I’m not saying that. He might kill me even if you comply.” He whispered the last sentence.
“No.” Panic and fear struck me. My eyes widened and my words only came out as a whisper. I swallowed and tried again.
“No. No! No!” I cried, leaping from the bed.
“Shh.” Jesse glanced at the door.
“H-he can’t do that! I won’t let him do that. No.” Angry tears streamed down my face, but I calmed down and sat back down on the bed.
Gabriel was set on his plan. I was going to be his mate, he was going to transform me into a complete vampire, and I would sit by his side to wait for the day he might die and then I would take over his throne. If I did not comply, Jesse would die. If I did, there was still a chance that Gabriel would kill Jesse, my only love, the only person I wanted to be with, the one person I had to protect. But could I stop him?
“Jesse, that will not happen. I will not allow him. You know I don’t want this, you believe me that I don’t want him, right? I will do it. I will save you, I won’t allow him to kill you. He’ll be informed that I’ll comply only if you live. I don’t want to bear living my life without you, but as long as you were alive, I’d be happy. I won’t let it happen, Jesse. I promise to you.” I gazed into his eyes, fighting back tears.
“No, Annaleigh, you can’t be unhappy just to keep me alive. I wouldn’t want to spend my life without you anyway. Don’t do this for me.” I blinked and looked down as a single tear slipped down my cheek. Jesse placed his hand on my face and stroked me cheek softly, making me look up at him.
“We’ll think of something. I-I’ll trick him, destroy him, we’ll escape… Something. I…” I began to sob again, quietly this time. Jesse pulled me to his chest and hugged me.
Was this it then? There was no way that Jesse and I could get out of this, go back to our happy lives. Together. Either way, I’d have to do what Gabriel wanted. But could I save Jesse, too?
“I love you,” I looked up at Jesse and stroked his cheek, studying his every feature. My voice choked on my tears.
“I love you.” He pressed his lips to mine softly. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and tangling my fingers into his hair. I didn’t know when this thing with Gabriel would start, but if this was my last moment with Jesse, I was going to enjoy it.
I leaned back into the bed, pulling Jesse on top of me. His lips never moved from mine. I gasped suddenly and sat up slightly.
“That was why! When, in the auditorium, you, because Gabriel! That.” Coherent sentences were not available at this point.
“Yeah.” Jesse nodded solemnly. “It was hard to say no, believe me it was, but it was his plan, and if it was something you were going to want then I didn’t want to take that away from you.” Not to mention the repercussions and consequences for Jesse if he didn’t obey Gabriel.
“But that’s it. Now you know, I don’t want that. And we know how to keep it from happening now.” My eyes lit up with the prospect of getting away from this horrible fate with Gabriel. Jesse didn’t move.
“He said it himself, I need to be a virgin for the complete transformation to work. If we take that away, then he won’t be able to carry out his plan. Unless you have other reasons not to…” I trailed off, unsure if I could bring myself to say it. I didn’t even want to think it.
“But that’s just it! If his plan is foiled, he’ll have no more use for you, Annaleigh, he’ll kill you. I can’t do that to you.” Pain flashed in Jesse’s eyes. I looked down, feeling embarrassed.
“I-I just… I… don’t want to.” I felt foolish for ruining the good moment between Jesse and I, and even more foolish for trying to get him to say yes again. It really was pervotic of me to keep pushing the issue.
“I know, Annaleigh. I’m sorry. I would stop it if I could.” He stroked my hair, gazing at me tenderly. I nodded, trying to push my sadness away, and pulled him on top of me again. My arms wrapped around him and my fingers traced random patterns into his back.
“You can,” I whispered so softly that I was sure he couldn’t hear as I pressed my lips to his.
“I can’t,” he groaned as he kissed me back.
“Jesse,” I protested his words, pulling away from the kiss. What are you doing, stupid!? Kiss him! This may be your last chance! Shut up, self; isn’t this more important?
“Annaleigh,” he groaned again as he stared at me. “He’ll kill us both for sure. I can’t do that to you.”
“I want to, Annaleigh. Believe me, I do. But I don’t want him to hurt you. I can’t let that happen.” Conflict raged in his eyes. I could see that he really did want to, but I also knew that he didn’t want to do anything that would fare bad for me later. He cared about me a lot. I smiled.
“Okay. I’m sorry.” I pulled him closer to me and connected my lips to his again. Maybe I would have a chance to convince him later, but if I didn’t, then I wanted to enjoy the time that we had for now, since it seemed to running out.
He tangled his fingers into my hair and parted my lips with his tongue. I breathed out, moving my hands up his back and to his hair. His tongue slipped inside my mouth, slowly and softly, making me pull him closer to me. Jesse’s teeth nibbled on my bottom lip softly, with very slight force. It was very gentle; I barely felt it, but it caused me to make a noise in the back of my throat, to which Jesse giggled and increased the passion of our kiss, pressing himself closer to me. I slid my hands underneath his shirt to run my fingers along his bare skin, occasionally feeling his scars. Jesse broke away from the kiss just long enough to slip his shirt over his head. I hadn’t expected him to do that, but I was glad he did. My fingers roamed over his back freely, gradually pushing him closer to me with each circulation. A low whimper escaped his lips and I giggled softly, breathing heavily and pressing my tongue to his lips. He leaned back slowly, rolling us over inch by inch. After a few seconds, I got impatient and pushed my foot against the bed, flipping us over completely and landing myself on top of him almost in an attack. Jesse laughed, but quickly pulled me to him and covered my lips with his own. My knees placed themselves beside his hips and my hands pressed into his shoulders as I pushed myself closer to him and deepened the kiss. Jesse made a humming sound and pressed his fingers into my back. I moved my hands from his shoulders to his hair, laying against him completely. I realised that the cleavage from my tank top was probably spilling out, but I didn’t care; he was too busy to see anything, and I didn’t mind if he did, anyway. Jesse’s hands rubbed up and down my arms, touching the end of my long sleeves occasionally. I stifled a laugh by pressing my lips closer to his and yanked at the sleeves of my jacket, freeing one arm. His fingers caught the sleeve of my other arm and he helped my pull free of my jacket, depositing it on the ground somewhere next to his shirt. I sighed as I pressed myself closer to him, relishing the feeling of his tongue flicking around in my mouth gently. His hands moved around my back, sometimes making circles, sometimes going in a petting motion almost, just always moving around my back. Our tongues gave up, and we returned to normal kissing, staying passionate but gentle. Now his fingers traced my back very lightly. Suddenly, I was aware that the portion of my boobs that were not hidden by my tank top were pressed against his bare chest. I flushed, wondering if he had realised it as well, but not wanting to draw attention to it in case he hadn’t.
“Mm, Annaleigh, you realise you’re kind of sitting on me?”
“What? Oh, sorry.” I straightened my knees, which had been placed beside him, and laid on top of him normally, blushing. The change pressed my chest against his a little bit more.
“It’s okay,” he laughed. I adjusted, scooting up so my mouth could reach his better. I was vaguely aware that the move slid my tank top down my bra and exposed more of my skin, skin that pressed into Jesse. But I was too busy to really notice or care. I traced his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue as he pressed me closer to him. His arms tightened around my back and he suddenly flipped us over, not moving his lips from mine until we were completely turned over, when he started trailing kisses down to my neck. Occasionally, his tongue pressed against my skin very lightly, almost too lightly to feel, which made me shiver. Jesse pressed his lips against my neck and scraped his teeth across my skin gently, causing me to shiver again. I craned my neck up in anticipation. His teeth bit into my skin lightly and I whimpered. Jesse pulled away from me suddenly, almost completely disconnecting our bodies.
“Did I hurt you?” His worried eyes stared into mine.
“No,” I breathed, reaching up to my neck where he had bitten me. “You never do.” I closed my eyes and concentrated on controlling my breathing. When I opened them again, he was appraising my neck. I remembered my less than covered state quickly and blushed. His eyes flickered up to my face.
“Sorry.” He blinked, his breath catching in his throat.
“I, uh, never mind.” He blushed a deep red, very unusual for Jesse. I giggled and pressed my hand to his cheek to make him look at me; he was looking at my eyes but not making eye contact.
“Um, you’re, um, beautiful.” He blushed again, darting his eyes to the sides of the room before returning them back to me. Now I blushed and absentmindedly folded my arms across my chest.
“Sorry,” Jesse mumbled, looking at the wall behind me intently. I tilted my head in confusion and then realised.
“Oh! Um.” I unfolded my arms, blushing again. Jesse groaned and shoved himself away from me, laying beside me. He kept his eyes on the ceiling.
“I didn’t mean to screw up everything between us.” My eyes widened and I sat up quickly, turning to my side to face Jesse. I laid my hand on his chest and stared at his eyes.
“What? You didn’t, you never did. What are you talking about?”
He sighed. “I messed it up from the start. I knew Gabriel’s plan, I knew that I was only in Arden to bring you here, but still I let us get interested in each other and I let it go somewhere emptily. I gave you false hopes, and I constantly reject the one thing you ask me to do, even when it could save you from becoming completely transformed. Despite refusing that, I let myself… look at you like some… disgusting perv… Ugh.” He winced and closed his eyes, shaking his head. I blushed at his out-loud acknowledgement of where his eyes had been. I was going to avoid the subject; it’s not like I cared anyway. But here he was, beating himself up for it.
“Jesse,” I scooted closer to him, laying on him halfway and gently stroking his chest.
“You didn’t mess anything up. I love you, I always will. I understand why you, um, refuse. And you’re not a perv. I, um, I don’t really care.” I blushed again and refused to meet his eyes when he looked at me. I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I still didn’t look at him.
“I don’t deserve you, Annaleigh.” He sighed as he rolled over onto me softly, cupping my chin in his hand and kissing me gently. I giggled when he pulled away and touched his face lightly.
“You deserve better.” I pressed my hands into his back and pulled him to me, connecting my lips to his instantly. He kissed me back, then pulled away and shook his head.
“There is no one better than you,” he argued. I rolled my eyes, then was suddenly hit with a dose of reality.
“Anyone else could spend forever with you, though.” I whispered.
“I’m sorry I can’t save you from this, Annaleigh.” The sadness on his face was heartbreaking. I rubbed his back soothingly.
“It’s not your fault. I just hope I can keep him from hurting you.” I choked back tears, not yet willing to ruin my moment with Jesse. He sighed and frowned, obviously coming to the same decision as me. We stared at each other for an undetermined amount of time; I continued stroking and rubbing his back, he traced his fingers along my arms, neck, and collarbone, occasionally twisting a few strands of my hair. Eventually, Jesse looked at the clock and his eyes widened.
How late is it? I wondered and looked at the clock myself. It was way past bedtime, not to mention dinnertime. It was a wonder no one came in and interrupted us. Considering the information Jesse had given me earlier about his possible consequences, I was glad that we were undisturbed.
I looked back at Jesse and read the expression on his face.
“Stay,” I pleaded. “Please.” He sighed and I tried to keep the pout off my face. Jesse nodded and smiled slightly. I beamed at him and pulled him closer against me, hugging him.
“But we need to go to sleep.”
“I’m not tired,” I protested, but was betrayed by a yawn. I really wasn’t tired, though; I had cried myself to sleep just a few hours earlier, eh? Jesse looked at me doubtfully, pointing out with his eyes that I had yawned. I stuck my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes and smiled, slowly rolling off me to lay beside me. I turned to my side as well and faced him. My gaze suddenly flitted down his bare chest and stomach, returning to his face quickly. I blushed. Jesse gave me an amused half-smile, the barest hint of a red colour on his cheeks. I bit my lip. He raised his eyebrow and flitted his gaze down my upper half as well, returning his eyes to my face even quicker than mine had returned to his. When his eyes returned to my face, he smiled mockingly and I blushed even deeper.
“Do you want me to get my shirt and your jacket?”
“No! I mean, unless you want.” Jesse’s eyes narrowed in conflicting thought and then he shrugged.
“Of course not.” He smiled at me. Fighting to keep a blush off my face, I searched for something to say.
“Frozen as an embryo for 100 years? That’s a long time.” The light happiness that came on Jesse’s face when he was with me disappeared, but he didn’t look angry or sad, just normal, maybe emotionless.
“Yeah. It’s why my back is so scarred.” He looked down and then back up at me. I think I gasped slightly.
“From being… frozen… for all those years?” It sort of made sense.
Jesse nodded. “It messed me up. Could have been worse though,” he smiled. I shuddered at the thought; if it had been worse, the embryo probably wouldn’t have survived this long and Jesse wouldn’t be alive… The thought was unbearable.
“Wait. They’re, we’re, um, more human each time. If, I mean, you were created a century ago, then you’d be more vampire than me, right?” Jesse closed his eyes and pressed his hand to his forehead.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to—“
“No, it’s okay. I just don’t want you to be upset……… Yes, I am more vampire than you. I doubt that you’ve ever had any kind of thirst for blood. I… I don’t really, but because I control it. I can sometimes smell blood, feel it pulsing in your veins… It feels like a natural instinct for me to want it, but I’m too protected by my love for you and my taste for human food.” He smiled and I laughed. But a few things he said made me uneasy.
“That’s not true,” I whispered. Looks like it was finally time to tell him about my dreams.
He looked at me in confusion. “What’s not true?” I closed my eyes and sighed.
“I’ve had a thirst for blood. But not often. And I don’t even know if it was real. It started in a dream, and the dream was reoccurring, and I don’t know whose blood it was in the dream, but you were there and then you were gone and a shadowed figured appeared sometimes and a creepy voice whispered for me to drink it and now I think that voice was Gabriel’s and the blood was yours because one time after I had the dream, we were making out and I could hear your blood pump through your heart and pulse through your veins and I wondered…… And then it felt like in my dream, when I wanted it, but I swear I didn’t really, Jesse, I wouldn’t—“ I stopped talking because I couldn’t talk anymore. I was getting close to hysterics. I glanced at Jesse fearfully. He didn’t look angry or weirder out though, just thoughtful and hopeful.
“Well, I have two things to tell you about that. One: I think Gabriel was using one of his powered children to influence your dreams, I’m not exactly sure how or if it’s possible, but it seems like an option. Two: I think we’re each other’s bloodsuckers.” He said this very calmly, as if he was discussing the weather, but I could see the excitement glint in his eyes and hear the desperation in his tone.
“Okay, you’re going to have to tell me about the bloodsuckers thing, but I think you’re right about Gabriel influencing my dreams. Each time, before you disappeared, you got closer to telling me something. Something I needed to do, something about him… And I’m sure that the shadowed figure was Gabriel. And that creepy, raspy voice.. I could recognise it anywhere, now that I think about it.” Huh. So Gabriel had influenced my dreams. It makes sense now, what Jesse had been trying to tell me. And that Gabriel encouraged me to drink the blood. Jesse’s blood, that Gabriel had caused from inflicting pain on Jesse… The thought made me sick and I only hoped that that little detail would not become reality.
Jesse nodded, still thoughtful.
“Now explain the bloodsuckers thing to me.” I was intrigued, not only by what it meant, but the weight that Jesse had put into it.
“Well, I can’t be sure because I don’t know and it happens so rarely that we tend to think of it as a legend. But sometimes, two human vampires feel only a thirst for each other’s blood. Or, for the early vampires, a stronger thirst for each other’s blood.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And what is this supposed to mean?” Jesse stared at me thoughtfully for a moment before speaking.
“Have you only felt the blood thirst in your dream?”
“I, well, I don’t know. In my dream, I actually felt like I wanted to drink blood, but I felt like it wasn’t a part of me… But then after one of the dreams, I, I felt your blood through your skin and I just… thought about how I was a vampire and such, and… I don’t know.” It sounded so bad to say that I had thirsted for Jesse’s blood, but now that it was brought up, I think that’s what happened. I couldn’t be sure though, since I was mostly human, and I also refused any idea that could hurt Jesse.
“Okay. Have you ever wanted to drink anyone else’s blood?”
“No!” That question wasn’t as hard to answer. I mean, ugh. Jesse nodded, becoming thoughtful again.
“Will you just tell me what bloodsuckers is now?”
“I still don’t know if that’s what’s going on. I’ll have to think about it some more.” I sighed.
“Fine.” I looked at him. “And what about you?”
“Me? What about me?”
“Um, thirst for blood.”
“Like I said, I know I should want it, but I don’t want to and for the most part I don’t.”
“For the most part?” He sighed, knowing that I was going to pick up on that and hoping that I wouldn’t.
“I think yours would taste delicious, obviously, but I’m just biased.” He smiled at me.
“Ok, what are you not telling me?” I knew he was hiding something. He sighed again and closed his eyes.
“I didn’t want to have to tell you. I did drink someone’s blood once. But not a human. Another vampire. He was definitely not my bloodsucker though. I did it to protect you, mostly. But I also had to see if he was real… or if he was just a mimicker.” I arranged his words around in my head a few times before I realised what they meant. I gasped.
“The… fake Gabriel? The one who came to my room? I… You killed him?” Jesse winced. I stared at him with wide eyes.
“At first, I didn’t mean to. I merely cut his neck to see if he was the real Gabriel or not. I doubted that Gabriel would actually come into your room and do that, since he knew it was almost time, but if I acted on that and was wrong, it would have been very bad. And then when I knew he was faking, just to try to… gain his own pleasure… I sort of snapped. I didn’t even think of how I was killing him, just that he needed to die. If I had been smart, I would have dragged it out and made him suffer. But draining him dry… It was instinctual.” He flinched at the last word. My eyes returned to their normal state, softening. I scooted closer to him and put my hand on his chest lightly.
“Jesse,” I spoke as soothingly as I could. “Just because it was instinct for you doesn’t make you a monster, or anything else bad you were thinking. He was a monster, Jesse. He was going to hurt me, probably doom us both, and you stopped him. He did deserve to die.”
“Yes. He did.” Jesse’s eyes narrowed in anger but calmed down when I touched his cheek.
“Hey,” I spoke softly. “Did you think I was going to be mad at you for killing him or something?”
Jesse nodded hesitantly. “Mad or scared or upset or something, I don’t know.”
I smiled at him. “Well I’m not.”
“Good.” He smiled, happy that his murder hadn’t affected me in a negative way. I was glad he did it, actually. I mean, it’s not like the guy was human anyway.
“So what’s the whole bloodsuckers thing?”
He sighed. “I’m not completely positive about it, ok? But, you know in books and movies and such, they sometimes have this thing called ‘blood mates’ where the vampires share each other’s blood, or was created from the blood of each other, stuff like that? And then they’re each other’s ‘soul mates’ or whatever?” I nodded.
“It’s like that. We used to call it blood mates, even, but then Hollywood got a hold of that and it turned cliché. So, bloodsuckers would be two vampires that felt a great thirst for each other’s blood, and that thirst would bring them together. In more dominant cases, they could track each other by smell. Ultimately, it just means that they’d want to drink each other’s blood, and they could, because they couldn’t be drained dry by their bloodsucker.” I processed this for a minute.
“So that means that we’re, like, bound by each other’s blood? Because we want it? Won’t that mean that we belong together, or something?” If Jesse and I were each other’s bloodsuckers, how could Gabriel keep us apart?
“I don’t know if that’s what we are. But, normally, it’s like that, yes. But even if we were bound by each other’s blood,” he mocked my expression with a smile. “Gabriel would never let us be together.”
I sighed. “Great.” So was there no hope? I refused to believe that, even if it was true. I just couldn’t accept a life without Jesse.
Suddenly tired, and yawned and scooted closer to Jesse. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. The warmth and softness of his comfortable body put me to sleep instantly.
My eyelids blinked open, slowly taking in my surroundings. Where…? The events of day before came rushing to me suddenly. Oh. I looked beside me to see Jesse gazing at me tenderly with the hint of a smile on his face.
“You’re just beautiful.” He smiled. I bit my lip and blushed.
“When did you wake up?”
“About ten minutes ago.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up? They’ll probably be coming any minute; that’s ten minutes we could have been spending together.” Well, that sounded whiney and complainey. Ugh.
“We were spending it together. Do you know how gorgeous you are when you’re asleep?” He stared at me in awe and I blushed again.
“Shut up,” I murmured as I pressed my lips to his. He reacted instantly, twisting his fingers into my hair and leaning into me slowly. I pulled at his back, yanking him on top of me and once again reveling in the feeling of his scarred skin underneath my fingers. A muffled murmur came from his lips as they pressed into mine with more force, his tongue rubbing my bottom lip gently.
“Jesse,” I whispered desperately as I pressed myself closer to him and pushed him closer to me.
“Annaleigh,” his voice took on the same pleadingly whiny tone as mine as his right hand traveled down the side of my body lightly. On the way back up, he pulled at the edge of my shirt, shoving it up far enough for him to place his hand on my waist. As he grabbed my waist, he rolled us over swiftly, keeping our bodies connected the entire way, until I was laying on top of him. I whimpered and pressed closer, pushing my tongue past his lips gently. His left hand let go of my hair and grabbed the other side of my waist. I adjusted my legs, pushing my feet against the bed to get closer to him. Jesse’s hands occasionally moved across the exposed section of my back, stroking up my spine lightly to give me chills, and circling frantically. I pulled on his bottom lip gently with mine, then moved my mouth down his cheek and jaw to his neck. My mouth opened and my teeth placed around his neck as if I were going to bite him, but then I stopped and kissed his neck, kissing a soft trail across his collarbone to the other side of his neck to tease him. He groaned softly and I giggled against his skin. I moved my mouth back and forth across his neck for awhile, always very slowly, occasionally licking him but mostly kissing him. When he whimpered slightly and clutched my back, pressing me closer to him, I figured that he’d had enough. My lips picked a spot on his neck and stopped. I pressed my teeth against his skin very lightly, teasing him once more, and then I increased the force and pressure slowly, nibbling slightly. He yelped breathily, a quiet sound, and suddenly flipped us over quickly and forcefully, pressing me against the bed in almost the same moment. His hands stayed on my waist, holding tightly now, and his body pressed against mine; the weight felt wonderful. Jesse increased the passion of the kiss, leaving me breathless and unable to move anything except my lips. My arms lay limp at my sides, and my chest didn’t rise and fall with the movement of air in my lungs. I wasn’t sure any air was getting to my lungs. How to breathe? How to breathe? I yearned to wrap my arms around his back and my legs around his waist, but I couldn’t move. And it wasn’t because Jesse’s body was pressing against mine, it was because all thoughts escaped my mind except the feel of his body on mine and the way in which he kissed me. The wonderful, wonderful way in which he kissed me.
“Je—“ I tried to say his name, but my voice cut off with heavy breaths and a slight whimper. My arms and legs suddenly started working again, throwing themselves around him tightly. When my legs wrapped around his waist, his body pressed into mine even more, if that was even possible. My hands moved around his back frantically. I wanted to trace his scars, pull through his hair, and just hold him against me all at the same time. He tightened his hold on me and his hands slipped farther up my stomach slightly. I tried to wriggle myself down farther and make his hands slide up even farther, but his hold on my ribcage wouldn’t allow me to move. Not to mention that my legs were wrapped around him. His lips moved from mine and went to my neck. I expected him to tease me like I had done to him, so I was caught off guard when his teeth sunk into my skin the very second that his lips reached my neck. I pressed my lips together against a moan, making a humming sound. My eyes opened to see Jesse grinning it me.
“That was fun.” I began to nod, still feeling breathless, but his lips pressed against mine and that was all I could concentrate on. I pushed the tip of my tongue against his bottom lip, enjoying the softness. His lips parted and his tongue pressed against mine gently. I sighed and intertwined my fingers in his hair as his fingers spread apart, inching farther up. I felt two of his fingertips graze the underwire of my bra lightly, a fact he was completely oblivious to, and I smiled slightly. Once again, I tried to wiggle myself down a little bit. This time I succeeded, barely an inch, but enough. His fingertips pressed against me slightly and his hands quickly moved away, back to my waist. I could feel the heat of his cheek against my face as he blushed. A giggle slipped out of my lips.
“What?” Jesse murmured.
“You, being embarrassed; it’s ok.” As I spoke, I unwrapped my legs from around his waist and pushed us over, pressing my lips against his as soon as we were flipped over. His fingers ran up my back, twisting in my hair gently and moving down to my back again. I could feel that my cleavage was pressed against his chest again, but I was vaguely aware of it as his tongue traced the outline of my lips lightly. A gentle tremor rocked through my body and I pressed myself closer to him. His hands pressed into my bare back, pushing me closer until I could not get any closer. I ran my hands down his chest, still trying to press myself closer, and licked his tongue as it entered my mouth. He muttered a mild profanity, pulling me closer to him again and sweeping his tongue around my mouth.
“Mm. Jesse,” I mumbled, aware that a request hung in my words.
He sighed sadly. “No,” his voice sounded regretful. I sighed, but didn’t press the issue, I just kept kissing him. He pulled back suddenly, studying my face. I read conflict on his face, a desperate desire and an overwhelming protectiveness.
“You really don’t want Gabriel?” He fought to keep his voice neutral, but I could hear the pleading and longing behind it.
“I really don’t want him or anything he has to ‘offer’ me,” I confirmed. Jesse groaned breathily and I could tell which side of his conflict had won out.
He pressed his hands against the sides of my ribcage and flipped us over. I tried to keep myself from smiling in triumph. When we were flipped, I grabbed his hands softly, staring into his eyes with as much seduction as I could muster, and moved them to my stomach. Then I placed my hands at the bottom of my tank top, which was bunched up underneath my bra, and began tugging it over my head very slowly, making sure to keep the fabric over my boobs as long as possible. A light whimpering sound came from the back of Jesse’s throat, making me want to laugh, but I kept it back. When my shirt covered all of my chest, Jesse’s hands started to move off my stomach and then pressed into my stomach, his fingers reaching around my side and clutching tightly but gently.
Now I couldn’t control the giggle. “What, were you going to help me tear this off?” I smiled at him in amusement, keeping desire apparent in my eyes. Jesse’s closed halfway and his hands tightened on my stomach. I giggled again.
“All right, all right.” I pulled my shirt off my head completely, greatly enjoying watching Jesse’s eyes trail down my body. His breath caught in his throat as his gaze took in my black bra and his hands inched off my stomach again before he restrained them. I placed my hands on top of his and moved them from my stomach to the side of my ribcage, where they had been before I moved them to take my shirt off. Jesse stared at his hands and his eyes widened slightly. He wiggled his fingers tentatively and coughed. Once again, I kept back a laugh. It was so amusing how he acted, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Plus, it was nice that he didn’t just dive in for a grab; I’d let him take his time. His fingers moved closer to the front of my bra slowly, hovering right above the fabric. Not moving, he stared at his fingers and blinked. Suddenly, he brought his lips crashing down onto mine and moved his hands to my back. I pressed myself against him, sitting up slightly so he could reach my back. His fingers stopped at the back of my bra and sat motionless. I pressed my lips into his and slowly slipped my bra straps down my shoulders, one side at a time. Jesse leaned into me, pressing my back against the bed again. I slid my arms out of my straps as his fingers toyed with the snaps on the back of my bra. I doubted that he could get the hooks undone, since his fingers were squished between my back and the bed, but I let him continue. I placed both of my lips around his bottom lip on pulled on it, sucking gently. As I did, his fingers clenched together tightly, suddenly unsnapping every hook on my bra. Still playing with his lip, I blinked in surprise. Jesse pulled the backs of my bra around to the front slowly, keeping the cup part over my boobs while he pressed the back section of my bra on the front gently. When he unclenched his fingers from around the fabric, his long fingers stretched out, landing above the fabric of my bra. He inhaled sharply and picked his fingers up. I could feel their warmth hovering over my skin and I wondered if he was doing it to tease me or if he was uneasy about touching me. Either way, my body didn’t react well to it. I placed my hands on his and pressed them into my skin suddenly. As soon as his skin connected with mine, we both whimpered a hum. I absentmindedly snorted in amusement and removed my hands from his. Jesse whimpered again and took his hands away from me immediately. “Can’t,” he mumbled and started to pull away. No! I screamed in my mind as I grabbed his waist and pushed him backwards, quickly pulling myself with him. We hit the bed forcefully; er, he hit the bed forcefully and my body hit his forcefully. My bra slid down slightly, leaving a little bit more exposed cleavage pressed against his bare skin. I attacked his lips with my own, unwilling for him to stop this moment after it had gone so far. He was motionless for a second, but his lips started moving with mine almost immediately. I knew he changed his mind, wanted to stop, but I also knew that if I kept things moving, he wouldn’t have a chance to stop; his body wouldn’t let him.
Wicked, maybe. Seductive, I hoped so.
“He’ll understand, we’re bloodsuckers, we belong together, we love each other, he’ll realise. He’ll have no choice, I won’t be what he wants,” I whispered against Jesse’s lips convincingly and desperately. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring it up, maybe I should have shut up and let it happen without giving him the chance to think about it again, but I needed him to know that it wasn’t a mistake. Although, I didn’t mention the v-word, because that would be most likely to stop him. My hands traveled down the sides of his chest and his stomach. I stopped at his hipbones, unsure that I could (should) be the one to remove his pants. Jesse breathed heavily against my lips, sliding his hands down my sides as well. He stopped at my hipbones and wrapped his hands around the sides of my hips as much as he could, pulling me closer to him. I let go of him, keeping my body pressed against him tightly, and began to undo the button on my jeans. The back of my hand brushed against his belly button as I unzipped my jeans and he stopped breathing suddenly, resuming his breath when I put my hands on his hips again and licked his lip softly. He moved his hands to my back and traced a circle before gently sliding his hands down my sides. My jeans slipped down with his hands slowly, making it to my knees before I had to finish, kicking them off. Suddenly I felt body-conscious, but Jesse’s eyes weren’t on me; they were closed as we were currently still in liplock. I considered disconnecting from Jesse for a second to take my bra off completely, but I figured that would be distracting, and decided against it. I placed my hands around Jesse’s waist and pulled him closer to me again. His hands moved from my back to the button of his jeans. The back of his hand brushed against me lightly as he unzipped his jeans and I shivered. Jesse wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer to him, pressing his lips into mine with more passion. I slid my hands down his sides slowly and his jeans slipped down, following my hands. They went to the middle of his thighs before he had to finish the removal, kicking them off. Was I imagining it, or had I kicked mine off a lot quicker than he had?
We kept our hands on each other’s hips and Jesse’s tongue licked the inside of my top lip. I pushed my tongue inside his mouth with a sigh. Without two layers of denim in the way, our bodies pressed closer together. Neither of us moved, except our lips and tongues. Suddenly, thoughts raced in my head. This seemed kind of dirty, or something. Was there a reason why a lot of people waited until they were married to do this? Of course, an even greater percentage of people didn’t wait for marriage, and at least I was doing this with every member of the football team or something… Jesse and I truly loved each other, and I was sure he was only doing this to save me. I mean, I didn’t love Gabriel, but I was going to be forced to be his mate unless my virginity was taken away. It still might not do much but get us killed, but at least I wouldn’t have to live my life with that jerk. So it would be better to do this, even if we were reprimanded by my parents if we got out of this alive. Not that they really cared, as long as I didn’t turn into a slut or anything. And who said I would tell them? If Gabriel did let us live, it would be because he truly believed that we were each other’s bloodsuckers, and therefore belonged together, which would then mean that Jesse and I would stay together forever, right? So if we survived, we’d probably get married one day, which meant that none of this really mattered, right? Of course not. And I definitely wasn’t having second thoughts. The ultimate intimacy and bareness of this situation just embarrassed me suddenly. But our bodies created a need for each other, and Gabriel created an even stronger need unintentionally.
[*Author’s note, I’m surprised I even wrote it this far. Ickk. And I’m a FULL supporter of Abstinence Until Marriage!!!!!! Just thought I should mention that, even though my friends know I feel this way. Hahaha if I ever get delusional enough to try to publish this, I’ll have to add in a similar note. Ok, shutting up now.]
Keeping my body pressed against Jesse’s, I grabbed his waist and pulled him back with me as I leaned back. Our lips never moved from each other’s as we changed our position; he was now laying on top of me. His chest pressed against mine heavily, and I knew there was no way that he could not notice that the bare part of my boobs was pressing against him, but it didn’t stop him like I was afraid it would. I wrapped my arms around his back and began tracing his scars absentmindedly.
“Ok?” He whispered breathlessly against my lips.
“Yes,” I whispered back just as breathlessly. I wasn’t sure if he was asking if this was still ok, or if I was ready. It didn’t matter because the answer was yes either way.
Jesse slid his fingers down my stomach slowly, circling back up to place them right underneath my bra, then moving them to the sides where my ribcage was. Even slower than before, he slid his fingers down my sides, stopping as his fingers hit the top of the fabric of my underwear. He hesitated for a moment, moving his lips from mine to look into my eyes. I nodded, suddenly eager. Jesse kept his eyes locked on mine and slipped one finger underneath the fabric. I drew in a sudden breath and he stopped, looking at me with concern. I shook my head at myself and my gaze flickered to his arms, nodding and smiling at him encouragingly. He gave me a half-smile, never moving his eyes from mine, and placed his thumb on the outside of the fabric, pinching the top between his thumb and forefinger. I shoved myself closer to him and nodded again. If he kept on hesitating to see if I was ok, he was going to change his mind. Keeping his left hand on my hip on top of my boy shorts, the fingers of his right hand slipped underneath the bottom of the fabric on my other hip and came out at the top of the fabric, connecting with his thumb. I groaned and pushed myself closer to him, pressing my lips to his again as he began tugging the fabric down gently.
“You missed breakfast, the master will be…. Oh. Oh, dear.” A woman’s voice suddenly broke us apart. Our bodies stayed pressed against each other’s, but Jesse’s hands moved away and our heads turned to stare at the door. My eyes were wide, embarrassed.
“Oh, Jesse.” She frowned in disappointment. “He thought you would know better. You know the plan, the importance. How could you dare jeopardise that? If things were becoming too difficult for you, you know we have people here… Annaleigh is off limits…” Oh, what the frak?
“Um, excuse me? It’s kind of my body, I think I get to say who can and cannot be with it.” Hahahaha what an awkward way to phrase that. The lady turned to me and blinked.
“I assume you’ve been told the plan?”
“Then you should not be allowing Mr. Savage to try and take advantage of you in this way. I hardly think—“
“Excuse me! I would appreciate it if you would kindly stop insulting my boyfriend. If anyone’s taking advantage of anyone here, it’s me; I don’t want any part of Gabriel’s stupid plan and if this is the only way to stop it, then I’m going to do it, and I had a hard time convincing Jesse to agree because he thinks Gabriel will just kill me afterwards. Well, I don’t care; death would be better than spending my life with that monster. So if you can just tell him to suck it. Close the door on your way out, please.” I didn’t really think that would work, and I was correct. Her eyes narrowed.
“No one can defy the master’s plan. He’s been waiting for you since before you were born. You will follow him. Trying to resist will only make things harder for you… And your boyfriend.” She eyed Jesse evilly.
Jesse pulled himself off of me, placing my shirt and jeans on top of me quickly and reaching for his.
“She’s right, Annaleigh. Resisting will make things harder for you, and I don’t want to see you hurt,” he said softly as he stroked my cheek. All hope abandoned me right then and a tear slipped down my cheek unexpectedly.
“What about you, Jez?” His sad eyes pierced mine and I started crying harder.
“Don’t worry about me, Naleigh.” He kissed the top of my forehead and began slipping his jeans on.
“Oh, isn’t that sweet,” the woman said bitterly. We ignored her. Jesse sat beside me and wiped my tears away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Thank you for trying,” I stared at his bare chest mournfully as his slipped his shirt on, returning my eyes to his when he was done. The look in his eyes told me that he would gladly do anything for me. They also told me more than I wanted to know. Would this be the last time I saw Jesse?
He kissed my lips softly and stroked my cheek once more before walking to the door where the lady was waiting.
“Come on,” she grabbed him by the back of the neck roughly and shoved him out the door.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll make sure all of the blame rests on his shoulders,” she called to me fake-sweetly before slamming the door.
I threw my clothes to the side and ran to the door, pulling on the knob. Locked from the outside. I turned, shoving my back against the door and looked around the room. No windows. Oh, sh… Jesse.
I sank down to the floor and cried.
A knock sounded at the door.
“Go away,” I yelled as forcefully as I could through my tears.
“The master wants to see you,” a deep voice boomed.
“Tell him to duck off.” Anger crept into my voice and rage filled my thoughts as the image of his face entered my mind.
“Right away, he said.”
“I don’t care about Gabriel! I want Jesse!” I screamed, wishing I had an object near me so I could fling it against the wall.
The voice coughed. “It’s about Jesse,” he whispered. My eyes widened and I stood up. I looked at the clothes on my bed for a second before dashing to them and pulling them on as quickly as I could, then I raced to the door as it was thrown open. I jumped out into the hallway, almost trampling the guards.
“Wait, miss. Let us escort you.” I sighed and hopped from foot to foot as they turned and grabbed my arms to escort me down the hall. What was Gabriel going to say about Jesse? Maybe he was going to let us be together. Or maybe I was about to be informed that they killed him. Oh, no. My knees threatened to buckle and tears caught in my throat. No, that couldn’t be it. Not it, not it, not it, I repeated in my head as we made the trip to the room from yesterday. When we got there, the guards threw me a wistful look before opening the door. What? What do you know that I don’t?! I wanted to scream at them.
As soon as the door opened, I stepped inside and glanced around for Jesse. He wasn’t there. My heart sank.
“Mm, Annaleigh. I have to say, you look much better without that ridiculous hoodie constructing the view.” Shivers crept down my spine as Gabriel spoke.
“What do you want.” I spoke as hostilely as I could.
“I’m afraid that’s a big list. But that’s ok, I get whatever I want.” The threat behind his voice was obvious and it was all I could do not to cry.
“Where is Jesse?”
“Ah, Jesse. My best son, the one I raised as my own, the one I raised to bring you to me. He should have known better than to try and take what is mine from me.” Like hell I would ever be his.
“Where is Jesse?” My voice came out more forcefully this time.
“Relax, Annaleigh. I haven’t killed him… yet. I’m trying to give him the chance to repent and learn his lesson.” A scream suddenly came from the distance, causing Gabriel to smile. I shivered and refused to let myself think it was Jesse.
“It wasn’t his fault. I was asking for it, begging him. I don’t want to be a part of your plan, especially not the part where I’m your lifetime mate!” I spit at him, also trying desperately to save Jesse.
The amused smile disappeared from Gabriel’s face, turning more sinister. “No one asked you what you wanted, Annaleigh,” he said coldly. I shivered and a tear slipped out of my eye.
“Please.” I wasn’t sure what I was begging for, Jesse’s life or for Gabriel to forget about me, but it didn’t look like he would cave on either one. He laughed evilly, the creepy laugh from my dream.
“Bring him in,” he ordered to his guards. Two guards left and Gabriel turned to me again, stepping closer. He kept his eyes on mine until he stood directly in front of me and he looked down.
“Much better without the jacket,” he complimented as he gazed down my tank top. I swallowed and took a step back, crossing my arms over my chest uncomfortably.
He growled and lunged at me, grabbing my arm and yanking me to him. “Bailey finds you with Jesse in nothing but flimsy, half-removed underwear, but I can’t appreciate the lines of your body fully clothed?” His voice was menacing, his grip was tight. I swallowed convulsively, forcing to keep air circulating my lungs.
“After all, you will be my bride, my mate. You will belong to me, you will live forever with me. You shall not love anyone else except me, do you understand that?”
I hissed at him. “I understand that you can’t make me love you, and forcing a plan unto me that will take away my happiness is no way to start.” He growled and shoved my arm away from him, knocking me to the ground. He walked back to his usual spot and I stood up.
“You’re lucky I love you too much to hurt you, Annaleigh. You’re lucky I’m in control of my sadistic side.” I was about to protest his love remark when he tilted his head towards the door and smiled.
“Ah. Lucky that I had another vessel to unleash my sadistic side onto.” The door opened suddenly and I turned to see two of his guards dragging in another person. They supported half of the person’s weight, for he was doubled over and walking slowly. As they stepped into view, I realised who it was.
“Jesse!” I cried and ran over to him where the guards dumped him on the ground. His chest was bare, covered in blood and gashes. When his back hit the ground, he winced slightly and sat up, pressing his hand to his stomach. Black and brown singe marks dotted his back and arms. A deep red gash spread across the entire width of his back in the middle. Blood ran along his arms, oozing out of various wounds on his chest and stomach. His face was considerably unwounded, compared to the rest of his body; he just had a slightly swollen lip and small cut on his cheek. His lips were stained with blood, blood that dripped from his mouth slowly.
“Jesse, are you ok?” Tears formed in my eyes as I looked at him.
“Don’t worry about me, Annaleigh.” He drew in a ragged breath and winced, pressing his hand to his stomach again.
“Yes, Annaleigh. Don’t worry about Jesse, he’s tough. It took a few hours just to get him to scream,” Gabriel smiled happily. I restrained a scream and clenched my fists to keep from attacking him. Jesse coughed, sending a drop of blood flying to the thigh of my jeans. I was kneeled in front of him, after all.
I looked down at the slight spatter of blood as it absorbed into the denim, turning from a bright red to a dark reddish brown. I tilted my head and narrowed one eye as I stared at it intently. The emptiness in my stomach suddenly seemed more prominent and my throat felt dry. It felt like a fire flashed behind my eyes and suddenly I was turning my head towards Jesse. Everything went into slow motion. Jesse’s bare chest was covered in bright red blood, blood that looked wet and warm… My eyes widened and my gaze turned to Jesse’s lips, where more blood dripped from his mouth slowly. I could feel the hunger in my gaze and Jesse’s eyes suddenly met mine. He read my expression and fear crossed his face suddenly before changing into the excitement of hope.
Out of the blue, I growled and my body writhed as a mental block restrained other movement. I shoved it away and my mouth connected with Jesse’s suddenly. I could feel the wetness of his blood underneath my lips, could feel the hunger tightening in the pit of my stomach and flashing behind my eyes. A growl escaped my lips again as I closed my teeth around Jesse’s mouth and sucked at the blood. I pushed myself closer to him, forgetting his injuries, focused on the wonderful taste that was filling my mouth. I was vaguely aware of hands clawing at my back. I couldn’t tell if they were trying to pull me away from Jesse or pull me closer to him, I just ignored them and sucked at his lip earnestly. When the liquid slowed, I automatically pressed my tooth into his soft flesh, feeling it cut in. A moan sounded from somewhere beneath me, but all I knew was that the amazingly delicious taste was filling my mouth again.
“NO! Stop them!” A voice cried. Hands yanked at me again, bringing me to reality. I realised what I was doing and jumped away, flinging myself a few yards away from Jesse. My eyes opened and I stared at him through tears. Blood oozed down the smile of his mouth, pain evident in his face.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. A loud crash sounded, causing me to jump slightly but I kept my eyes on Jesse. I couldn’t believe I had just hurt him. Just to taste his blood. I wasn’t even supposed to be a bloodthirsty vampire. Oh, what had I done?
“No! No! NO!” A voice roared. “It can’t be! Stop it! Stop her!” I wanted to tell the voice that I had stopped, I wasn’t hurting Jesse anymore, but then I realised that the voice was Gabriel and he wouldn’t care if Jesse was hurt or not. He was the one that had caused Jesse’s injuries.
More fire burned behind my eyes and the liquid that had soothed my throat now tore it apart, also burning a hole in my stomach. Well of course I’m going to throw up, I thought, I drank blood. But no puking came, just knives and razors. The knives stabbed at my skin, and the razors dragged across my skin, tearing my body in half. I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain, not realising that it was diminishing as quickly as it started. Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry, Jesse, so sorry.
“Make it stop!” A loud voice sobbed angrily. I shook my head, telling the voice to shut up. Suddenly, there was no more pain. No more knives, no more razors, no more burning stomach, no more flashing eyes. I felt stronger than before, like I had just gorged on caffeine. I sat up quickly, opening my eyes. Jesse stared at me in awe, amazement, and admiration. I blinked, confused, and turned to the screaming voice. Gabriel was being restrained by his own guards, his eyes staring at me in blatant hate. Fear struck my automatically, but was quickly canceled out by anger. I stood up slowly, menacingly and his eyes widened, more out of anger than fear. I took a step close to him.
“You will pay for what you did to my boyfriend,” I spit at him. He hissed and shoved against his guards.
“You will pay for what you did to yourself,” he spit even more threateningly. I looked at him in confusion, replaying recent events in my head. He couldn’t be mad that I had caused myself pain by drinking Jesse’s—wait! I hadn’t made a conscious decision to drink Jesse’s blood, I just felt a great desire for it. Was Jesse right? Were he and I… bloodsuckers?
I glanced at Jesse, questioning. He had wiped the blood off of his mouth by now and he looked at me with the same admiration, smiling and nodding. I blinked rapidly, processing. That’s what Gabriel wanted to stop, then. But why did I feel pain after I shoved away from Jesse? Unless I wanted his blood so badly that it hurt to stop drinking it.
“Are, I mean, we, bloodsuckers?” I turned to Gabriel and his eyes narrowed.
“It’s impossible.” He spit. “There has to be another explanation. You are mine!” He growled and lunged for me, being restrained by his guards again.
“Let go of me, you pig headed idiots!” He screeched.
“Master, you don’t want to do something you’ll regret,” one said to him lowly and respectfully.
“I’ll do whatever I please!” He shrieked. I covered my ears. He was like a three year old who didn’t get his way. A torturous idea crept into my mind suddenly and I looked at him pointedly, getting his attention. He stared at me as I walked over to Jesse slowly and seductively. I could feel Gabriel’s eyes on my back as I got closer to Jesse. I smiled at him as I knelt down and leaned forward ever so slowly, kissing him on the lips softly. I made sure to avoid the side of his lip that was swollen, and didn’t touch any other part of his body. There was still a slight taste of his blood on his mouth, but I was past that thirst for now. Still, I placed his lip between mine gently and pulled on it. Gabriel gasped and grunted against his guards. I turned to him and smiled tauntingly, sticking my tongue out immaturely. When I turned back to Jesse, a smile was playing on his lips.
“You ok?” I whispered. He rolled his eyes at me and I smiled.
So Jesse had been right, we were bloodsuckers. Me and him. Bound by our blood, there was nothing Gabriel could do to stop this. And he knew that.
I turned back and walked to him.
“So now you’re going to let us go?” It was more of a command than a question.
“It can’t be real! There’s only one transformation process, one transformer. How could this happen?”
“You’re a full vampire now, Annaleigh,” Jesse called softly. I turned to him in amazement and blinked.
“H-how?” My questions copied Gabriel’s now.
“Exactly. It’s impossible.” I raised my hand to Gabriel, shushing him.
“Jesse, you weren’t full vampire were you?” He shook his head.
“It… Maybe because you’re less vampire than I am. Or past bloodsuckers turned into full vampires too, but never noticed because they were closer to being full vampire than you.”
“No,” Gabriel denied Jesse’s guesses. “None of them ever turned full vampire. I don’t understand how it’s possible now… Unless you two have a stronger bloodsucker bond than I thought.” He added the last sentence quietly. I tilted my head at Jesse, pondering what Gabriel said. He did the same. An idea crossed my mind and I walked over to Jesse again. I sat down on the ground beside him and pressed my neck against his lips.
“Do I smell good?”
“You always do,” he smiled.
I sighed. “I mean, do you want my blood?” Jesse nodded slightly but made no move. I sighed again, figuring that he was either too afraid to hurt me, too hurt to move, or not desiring my blood enough. I turned my face towards his and stared into his eyes, biting down on the inside of my mouth, an occasional habit. My teeth gnawed at my lip anxiously and relentlessly. When my blood began dripping into my mouth, I refused to swallow it. Instead, I pressed my lips against Jesse’s quickly and pushed my lower lip out so my blood would rest against his bottom lip and hopefully leak inside his mouth. His tongue slid across my lip, clearing the blood away. I waited as he tasted and swallowed my blood, then his lips came onto mine with more force. I parted my lips to let his close around the inside of my bottom lip where I had bitten it, sucking the blood thirstily. A low, desire-ridden growl came from Jesse’s throat and his hand pressed against my back, drawing me closer to him. When the blood flow stopped, Jesse’s tooth cut into my lip quickly. The tearing of my skin didn’t even hurt. In fact, it felt sort of good. A noise escaped my throat and Jesse began sucking at the wound he had just created in my mouth. Suddenly Jesse pulled away and I looked up at him. His bright blue eyes flashed, glowing an even brighter blue. He winced in pain suddenly and I frowned, mentally kicking myself for forgetting to tell him that it hurt. But it was over as quickly as it started and Jesse was staring at me in the same awed admiration. I blushed.
“No!!!” We turned to the sound of Gabriel’s voice. I narrowed my eyes and stood up, walking over to him.
“Do not say another word,” I stopped him as he opened his mouth to scream again. “Jesse and I are both full vampire now, in case you haven’t noticed. I believe that means we could fight you, possibly kill you, and take your throne away from you.” His eyes widened in fear when I mentioned taking away his throne. “Or, you could let us leave and return to our lives together and agree to never bother us again. So, let us live in peace, or we might not let you live at all. Sound like a deal?” I put the right mixture of sweetness and threat in my voice. Gabriel narrowed his eyes but nodded reluctantly. I contained my shock and joy, nodding once diplomatically and turning back to Jesse. Two of Gabriel’s guards helped Jesse off the ground, not being careful to avoid his wounds. I put my hand up at them.
“I got him.” They let him go and he walked over to me slowly, smiling the entire way. My eyes grazed his torso, looking for a safe place to put my hand. His right wrist looked unscathed, so I grabbed that and pulled him out of the room. Bailey met us at the door and escorted us outside, not saying a word the entire way. Something unheard of had occurred here thanks to us, so I’m pretty sure we seemed threatening. Plus, there was no way they could even begin to apologise for inflicting all these injuries on my Jesse.
Once we were outside, Jesse pulled me into a tight hug, wincing. I pulled away as soon as he would let me and frowned at his gashes.
“What did they do to you?” My eyes filled with tears again.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” His finger wiped my tear away.
“I’m going to drive home, ok?” I looked at him, daring him to argue. He shrugged and smiled. It amazed me how Jesse could be so hurt and yet smile. But I suppose he didn’t want to worry me. That’s one of the reasons why I loved him.
We got into the car and I was about to drive away when Bailey came running out, waving my jacket around. I rolled my eyes at Jesse but let her toss it in the window. And then I drove away.
My name is Annaleigh Savage. Just kidding. Jesse and I are still only 17, but now we’re both full vampires. Didn’t know that would happen, did you? Neither did I.
The day after I found out that Jesse was a human vampire like me, we both turned into full vampires. Go figure. But it worked out, we were able to escape Gabriel, we were bound for life (not that it mattered if we were bound or not, we would always stay together) and apparently, we would be living forever. It was hard to explain the whole eternity thing. We did age, but not really. Gabriel had still had a teenager face, but you could tell he was older… it’s going to be like that. And we can be killed, but I don’t even plan on that happening.
Jesse and I still live in Arden, Ontario. We’re still in school. But we’re both planning to go to the same college, and after that, who knows? Maybe we will get married. It won’t matter if we have a wedding ceremony and marriage certificate, we’ll always be together. (Did I mention that already? I think I did. Well, I’m happy about it.)
Even though Jesse and I are full vampires, we don’t drink blood, except for each other’s. I know that might sound really gross to you, but it’s really romantic. And actually kind of sexy. Speaking of, I asked Jesse about that again, informing him that there was no reason to keep me a virgin anymore. He rolled his eyes at me, but I think it will just take time… Eventually, eventually.
So maybe I left out a lot of details and maybe some things were boring, and maybe you wanted a different ending. Well that’s just too darn bad because it’s my story. Hey, it’s my life. I can’t exactly change it just by writing down different words. This is how it happened, and I’m happy about the way it turned out. Together forever with Jesse, what else could be better?
Nothing. And that’s the end of my story.
But it all continues with the weekend, the best time of every teenager’s life….
Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, alesanafyiWrite a Review
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<urn:uuid:6d8511a8-e304-492f-93b4-81aee02fc54c>
|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.inkitt.com/stories/fantasy/47451
|
2023-09-29T23:15:25Z
|
s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.988255
| 95,554
|
Quarantine expressed as an equation of confinement means we’re going to be spending a massive number of hours indoors, at home or on an endless office-home loop. It also brings a harsh social distancing quota; meeting family and friends will be kept to a bare minimum, if at all. Forget about the large gatherings typical of concerts or stadiums. This means more time in our hands, but how about money in our pockets?
Businesses have been hard hit at home in the US and worldwide. You will be facing hard times and, hopefully not, but maybe even unemployment, financial stagnation or bankruptcy.
These financial planning tips are meant to help you come up with ideas to start lowering costs at home/the office, making money, and preferably both.
Lower Costs/Save Money Tips
- Prioritize Bills. Layer and select critical bills: which need to be paid immediately and which ones can wait? Remember that many, many… really, man private and public companies are reformatting their billing schemes. Some providers are offering assistance —the author personally reached out to Adobe and got a 3-month reprieve— while others are allowing consumers to skip payments altogether for the duration of the quarantine—airlines, for example, are either debiting your card or issuing vouchers for advance travel expense. Contact utilities, student loan entities and any of your direct-debit payment providers now!
- Car Insurance Cashback. Be sure to reach out to your car insurance company and update your mileage forecast. If this has any bearing on the final price of your premium, you should be able to arrange some form of cashback or lower premium fees.
- Credit Card Relief. At this time, some cards are offering hardship programs which may enable users some extra time of non-payment. Check out this link to see which banks are willing to help out in this time of need and how. It’s a live page, so it gets updated often.
- Online Resources Galore. Go online and benefit from the many resources available, for example: unemployment benefits have loosened access; the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) helps with grocery expenditure; the loans of the SBA’s Coronavirus Disaster Relief Lending Program might be a peach; etc.
Make Money Tips
- Referral Time. It is high noon for your company to up the referral ante! As a prime example, here at Inreact, we have established a $100 payment for every referral closed.
- Up Your Digital Game. This is a win-win situation as the world will be significantly more digital and virtual when we come out at the end of this. If you were already half way there, a small investment to reach the finish line might make the difference and allow your business to continue functioning entirely online.
- Work from Home. Now that you may be possibly making your home a home office, find work-from-home opportunities that suit your new schedule and disposition. Surveys, consumer group studies, coding and many other freelance jobs are waiting.
- Get Paid to Shop & Deliver. For others that is… typically groceries. Inquire with InstaCart, PostMates or any of your local restaurants.
- Lyft/Uber Up. You’ve used the service. Care to find out how it works from the other side? Time to rethink your many car-derived expenses with a twist!
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<urn:uuid:a22fc57f-cdac-4655-a432-cbe3ae7cbe0c>
|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.inreact.com/lowering-costs-making-money-during-quarantine/
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2023-09-29T22:53:51Z
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s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.927213
| 701
|
UPDATED TWO HOURS LATER: Google Reader does not permit the Flash rendering of Twitter badges. The up and down hours on the Twitter badge are "undefined" in the Google Reader Ajax pane. Oh well. If you really want to follow twitterings, you need to subscribe to the RSS text feeds.
WONDERING WHAT a Shockwave badge looks like when it aggregates as a microblog into a newsfeed. Like the one from Twitter. Liam Burke was doing this microblog thing for weeks. Now a good cross-section of people attending Podcamp Toronto have used Twitter to connect at the event. I've pushed Twitter technology too far too fast and it made my mobile phone choke so I'm a little nervous about giving it access to my main phone number ever again.
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<urn:uuid:6e40c096-c078-40b1-9f11-0c39b6b5c998>
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.insideview.ie/2007/02/wondering_what_.html
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2023-09-29T23:27:02Z
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s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.910007
| 160
|
Inter Allies attacker Lord Ofosuhene has joined Swedish Allsvenskan side Falkenbergs FF on a loan deal with an option to buy until the summer.
The fast forward joined the Swedish top-flight side on Sunday and played for their U21 side in their 2-2 draw at home to Kalmar.
Falkenbergs head coach Jonas Axeldal was impressed by his new signing after seeing him play: “He looks interesting. Lord has good technique and speed, something we didn’t have in the team before.”
Ofosuhene is very fast on and off the ball, he can be at the helm of all the attacking positions: left forward, centre of attack (main striker) right forward and as an attacking midfielder.
It’s always a delight to watch an outstanding technical ability of a player who has so much pace.
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<urn:uuid:3bf425a7-81ce-45a6-b3bf-2f914b20e553>
|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.interalliesfc.com/lord-ofosuhene-joins-falkenbergs-ff-on-loan/
|
2023-09-29T23:31:20Z
|
s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.977319
| 182
|
The Chilean Blueberry Committee (CBC) has a full-line up of marketing activities planned for 2015/16 including for the first time, promotions in France and Ireland – both markets in which the committee’s executive director Andrés Armstrong sees good potential.
“In terms of more established markets, we’re planning a range of activities around Pancake Day in the UK, which coincides with one of the peak arrival weeks for our blueberries,” he said. “We have enlisted the help of a well-known chef who has come up with recipes to inspire consumers to add blueberries to their pancake mix as a healthy alternative to syrup and other sugary sauces.”
This ties in perfectly with the growing anti-sugar movement in the UK that is fuelling demand for healthier alternatives such as fruit and it is a message that the committee is keen to tap into.
Elsewhere, Green Week will be a key focus of the committee’s promotions in Germany, while it has also developed a series of recipes available by App aimed squarely at the Millennial generation which are linked to the main retail chains showing the product’s availability.
In France the committee recently has launched its first ever campaign in conjunction with Asoex and ProChile by inviting representatives from the specialist press to an event introducing them to the characteristics, health benefits and availability of Chilean blueberries. France currently imports around 550 tonnes of blueberries a year, mainly from other EU countries.
“At just 10g, per capita consumption in France is far lower than in the UK (500g) and Germany (1kg),” said Armstrong. “At the same time, France is a big consumer of Chilean fruit in general and a market in which we already have well established distribution channels. We see huge potential to increase blueberry consumption and our campaign will seek to reinforce Chile’s position as the Southern Hemisphere’s number one exporter of this product.”
The campaign will include point-of-sale promotions at leading retailers Auchan and Monoprix during January and February as volumes peak.
Meanwhile, the CBC is looking to reinforce its presence in Nordic markets through point-of-sale activities in Sweden and Norway. The committee embarked on its first campaign in these markets two seasons ago and these have generated very positive results, according to Armstrong.
|
<urn:uuid:0c41ebc0-eccb-4547-aa8c-9ee75ee45be5>
|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.internationalblueberry.org/2015/12/29/chilean-blueberry-committee-kicks-off-european-campaign/
|
2023-09-30T00:43:16Z
|
s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.965807
| 499
|
Insurance is often overlooked as part of the financial picture and navigating the insurance landscape doesn’t have to be complex or stressful. The BOS Investment Services staff can assist you with a complete needs analysis and guide you through the process, making certain you are educated on your options. Our independent structure assures the most important fact; we don’t work for an insurance company – we work for our clients. The experienced professionals at BOS Investment Services takes a personal approach to understand your unique insurance needs so we can provide you with tailored, personalized insurance coverage that best protects you and your assets. In addition, with nearly 30-quality, name-brand companies on our platform, the BOS Investment Services staff can offer you non-proprietary carriers and products to fulfill your individual and business insurance needs.
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<urn:uuid:2a6711ed-ea95-45c1-9bb9-ed17a29f0dd0>
|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.investwithbos.com/insurance
|
2023-09-29T22:50:53Z
|
s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.950206
| 163
|
It is really irritating whenever you connect iOS device (iPhone or iPad) or camera or SD card on Mac and iPhoto pops up.
By default, Mac OS X opens iPhoto app whenever your connect your iPhone, iPad or iPod to Mac using Lightning Sync cable. Lot of users turned this option in Mavericks. But this feature automatically turned on after OS X Yosemite upgrade.
Follow my step by step guide to turn off/disable iPhoto’s auto startup when you connect iOS device or camera to Mac
- Open iPhone app on your Mac and click the iPhoto menu options in the upper left corner.
- Choose Preferences.
- Search and find Connecting camera opens: option. Set it to No application.
It will prevent iPhoto app opening automatically when you connect media device.
Disable iPhoto opening automatically for particular device
If you don’t want to launch iPhoto when you connect your iPhone or iPad, but you want to open iPhoto app when you connect your digital camera, try this method.
- Connect your iPhone or iPad to Mac using Lightning or 30-pin sync cable.
- Launch Image capture app from the Applications folder.
- Select your iOS device from the left side panel.
- At the image capture window bottom left corner, you can see the pull down option allow you to choose what happens when you connect your iOS device to Mac (You need to click the tiny up arrow in the lower left corner before view this option).
- Choose “No Application” option.
- Now close the app.
|
<urn:uuid:b4491f63-4472-48d3-9bb0-47c0fbf16925>
|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.iphonetopics.com/stop-iphoto-from-opening-on-mac-when-you-connect-ios-device/
|
2023-09-30T00:21:51Z
|
s3://commoncrawl/crawl-data/CC-MAIN-2023-40/segments/1695233510529.8/warc/CC-MAIN-20230929222230-20230930012230-00198.warc.gz
|
en
| 0.744232
| 320
|
Lauren Goodger has told fans she's into the fourth month of her pregnancy as she opened about her plans for a completely natural birth.
In an question and answer session with her followers on Instagram, Lauren revealed she suffered regular morning sickness during the first three months.
She said: "[I] found it quite difficult for the first three months
"It's just over as well and it's just starting to get better so yeah, just tired still, but not the sickness.
"I felt very, very sick but wasn't actually sick all the time. I have been sick a few times, or just had the feeling.
"I would rather have been sick because it's a mental release."
Lauren went on to share her plans for the birth, admitting she wants it to be as natural as possible.
She said: "I want a completely natural birth, I don't want any epidural or anything.
"I literally want gas and air, the old fashioned way."
During the chat, the mum-to-be also touched on the subject of names for her baby, insisting she wants to come up with something original.
She explained: "The baby names that I've thought of are something original.
"It's something that I've made up, so yes, exciting. A couple of them are original."
However, she got snippy when one fan asked why she won't be opting for a "normal" name.
Lauren replied: "What's 'normal'? You don't even know what it is so you can't comment on that."
Lauren also spoke about how many kids she wants, admitting she originally wanted a huge family but it's all up in the air now.
She said: "I think before you're actually pregnant and have a baby you think, 'oh I want three, I want four'.
"But I think when it actually happens, you're just kind of guessing through each day."
|
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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|
2023-09-30T00:00:15Z
|
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|
Just three days ago there was a clear favorite in the men’s field at the 2012 Western States 100. However, with Kilian Jornet withdrawing due to the tragic death of Stéphane Brosse while the pair traversed Mont Blanc last weekend, the field again appears wide open. Leading the list of remaining favorites are the second through fourth place finishers from last year’s WS100: Mike Wolfe, Nick Clark, and Jez Bragg, respectively. Hear what these gents (and Wolfe) have to say heading into the race.
[For more, check out our full men’s field preview and stop back at iRunFar tomorrow for more pre-race interviews.]
iRF: Last year, you were balancing ultrarunning with your legal career and still finished second at Western States and won the TNF EC 50 Mile. In late April, you left your job as an attorney to focus on running full time. What do you think the primary benefits of that change are heading into this year’s Western States?
Mike Wolfe: Honestly, ditching the legal career back in late April hasn’t entirely caught up to me yet. What I mean is that I was insanely busy in late April/early May finishing up work, packing/moving back to Missoula, then blasting off to Spain for Transvulcania/Zegama. Since returning, I have had a few weeks to focus on my last bit of training, which has been very nice. But, I feel like the bulk of training for a race like this comes in the months leading up, not necessarily the last few weeks, so quitting my job really hasn’t affected how I’ve trained for WS this year. I did get in a really solid block of training since returning from Spain, so that is great. If anything, less stress and more sleep is how I’ve benefited from not working the past few weeks. The one thing I seriously lack is heat training… been cold and snowing in MT!
iRF: Are you making any changes to last year’s successful game plan heading into this year’s race?
Wolfe: No real changes. Overall, I’ve had a higher volume of training this spring than last year. We’ll see if that pays off. However, I raced terribly in Spain, so that may have been an indicator of being over trained? Only real change for me this year is that I am going “freestyle.” No pacer. I want to go at this fight alone, see if I am up for it.
iRF: This year’s course will be slower and more mountainous than last year’s. You are drawn to and excel in the mountains, but so do many others in this race. Does any top-five contender particularly benefit or suffer from the return to the standard course?
Wolfe: I think most of the top contenders benefit from the change: obviously Kilian would have (Super sad about what just happened to his partner Brosse, and I know I will miss Kilian’s presence at WS this year.). Ryan Sandes is all-around strong, as far as I have seen. Nick Clark, Dave Mackey, Jez Bragg, Timmy Olsen, etc, etc, all run strong in the hills. And, this “more mountainous” course is all relative, it may be a bit slower than the last couple years, but it will still feel pretty fast, especially in the second half.
Nick Clark: Not downtrodden, just a little unsure maybe. The whole Spain trip in conjunction with other life responsibilities left me a bit short on miles in May. For training purposes I think I would have been better off running a 50-miler in the States rather than Zegama, especially with regards to confidence, but I’ll be fine. I have benchmarks from recent training runs and time trials telling me that I’m at least fit enough to give a fast run a go at Western States, even if the endurance factor is a bit of a question mark for me right now. Maybe the easier May means I’ll have a little more pop in my legs at mile 80?
iRF: On the other hand, you recently jumped into a minor 15-mile trail race and surprised yourself enough to reconsider some previous doubts. How can you (and others) use a strong performance at a non-focus event or distance to brace their psyche before a big race?
Clark: Finishing 38th at Zegama certainly didn’t help in the confidence game, but I just have to keep reminding myself of the difference between that race and Western States: two totally different fitness requirements. Pilot Hill[, the recent 15 miler,] is a great race and I always enjoy running events put on by the High Plains Harriers up in Laramie. I ran faster this year than I did in 2010, which again is sign enough for me that my aerobic fitness is just fine heading into WS. Like everyone, I use build-up races as indicators of potential performance and then develop a realistic plan from there. 100 milers are a bit different from, say, a marathon where there won’t be a whole lot of relative difference between a half marathon tune up three weeks out from a goal marathon and your actual performance in the marathon. It’s very predictable. In 100 milers, confidence and mental fortitude are key factors for success. You gather it where you can in order to toe the start line in a state of unwavering self-belief, then go from there.
iRF: What’s your Colorado Top 5 (in order, if possible) for States?
Clark: Bowman, Burch, Clark, Mackey, Tiernan (A-Z), with Hinterberg as my alternate. Here’s another prediction, in a cross country scoring format – with five scoring runners – Colorado wins the boy’s team competition.
iRF Bonus Question: You’re the reigning top-bearded-runner at States. Who’s got the best chance of taking that crown from you?
Clark: Timmy Olson without a doubt, but last time I saw Zeke [Tiernan], he had a pretty good sailor beard going on. Not sure of the current chin gristle status on ZT though. Outside of those two, I’m in the dark on beard stylings for this year’s field. I do, however, predict that there will be fewer beards in the top 5 than in 2010.
iRF: You live in England, which is “enjoying” a prolonged spring. Are you doing anything in particular to prepare for heat? Do you have any strategies you intend to employ on race day should it be a scorcher?
Jez Bragg: To be honest I’m not doing too much by way of heat training. You’re right in saying its been a pretty disappointing ‘summer’ so far in the UK, loads of wind and rain, but we’re a pretty adaptable bunch so I will just deal with it! I’m not really into running around in loads of layers, or training in a hot room, or anything like that. My approach will be the same as previous years, to ‘manage’ by body temperature during the race, ice under the cap, dousing myself down, keeping my top wet, a careful electrolyte replacement strategy, etc, etc.
iRF: You’ve had a good run at the Fellsman, but from afar it’s hard to tell where you stand after an injury and a wrong turn at the TNF 100-Australia. How would you rank your fitness compared to when you headed into your third and fourth place finishes?
Bragg: I haven’t raced a great deal this year, a few niggles at the start of the year meant I had to take my time building up fitness, but I’m pretty pleased with where I’ve got to now. It’s hard to say where I am against previous years, but certainly no slower! TNF 100 Australia was obviously a huge disappointment but I was pleased that I stuck at it to get a good long run in for Western States and my splits, on average, we’re only second to Ryan’s. So I’ve taken confidence from that, and I’m now properly tapered for the first time this year, so it will be interesting to see how it goes. I certainly feel strong and very excited about States this year. I intend on having some fun out there.
iRF: You’re now working with a “sports mindset coach.” What’s been your most important take away from that interaction?
Bragg: What I’ve learnt first and foremost is how powerful the mind can be when it comes to running ultras. I think we all know that already, but it’s fascinating when you really start drilling down into the detail and working on techniques to specifically develop that aspect of my race. Visualisation has been a really useful thing to work on. I’ve always liked knowing a course in full before racing it, but its great to take it on to another level.
Call for Comments
- Will past success predict success at this year’s Western States?
- How will each of these returnees fare?
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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https://www.irunfar.com/pre-ws100-12-interviews-with-mike-wolfe-nick-clark-jez-bragg
|
2023-09-30T00:49:26Z
|
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|
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| 1,998
|
Borrowing a page from the world of online retailing, Kimberly-Clark Professional has launchedSymbiosis Man— an interactive, virtual model that allows customers to “try on” personal protective equipment (PPE) before purchase. The new interactive tool demonstrates the full head-to-toe bundle of KleenGuard brand PPE and shows how simple product selection can be.
Symbiosis Mancan be found atwww.mykleenguard.com. The site lets users, choosers and distributors select products based on a range of criteria such as: the typical uses (electronics assembly, small parts handling, chemical handing) the type of PPE needed (general protection, chemical protection and specialty protection), and the level of protection required.
By clicking on a series of icons, the user can dress the model in head-to-toe protection that includes eye protection, respirators, gloves and coveralls from the Kimberly-Clark Professional KleenGuard brand line of products. Both front and back views are available so people can get a clear picture of how the products actually look on someone.
“This tool provides what we like to call ‘visual symbiosis,’” said Donna McPherson, senior category manager for the KleenGuard brand. “People can make selections and see how these products lookandwork together. At a time when comfort and style are increasingly important to industrial workers,Symbiosis Manvisually demonstrates how PPE can protect and look good too.”
Symbiosis Mancan be used in conjunction with the Kimberly-Clark Professional product selector tool, which is also available at the site. Visitors first select the products that best meet their needs, via the product selector tool, and then try them on theSymbiosis Manmodel. Fully “dressed” images ofSymbiosis Mancan be forwarded to a customer or printed out for future reference.
|
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|
CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.ishn.com/articles/86910-kimberly-clark-professional-launches-interactive-ppe-virtual-model
|
2023-09-29T23:55:41Z
|
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|
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[sc34wg3] Heads up! SC36 Liaison coming
Mason, James David (MXM)
Tue, 2 Sep 2003 22:41:49 -0400
If Frank and I declare a liaison between our two SCs, I can appoint you or
anyone else an interim liaison representative (until we can get to a plenary
to make it official), and then you can show up at SC36 functions.
The details on the Singapore meeting are on the JTC1 Web Site, though your
national body probably also has them.
From: Mary Nishikawa [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Tuesday, September 02, 2003 8:01 PM
To: email@example.com; 'firstname.lastname@example.org'
Subject: Re: [sc34wg3] Heads up! SC36 Liaison coming
>I just had a conversation with Frank Farrance, Chairman of JTC1/SC36,
>which deals with applications of IT to education and training.. He's
>wildly enthusiastic about Topc Maps and wants to promote their use in the
>SC36 context; he wants to establish better liaison.
>He plans to discuss this at the next SC36 meeting, at a conference in
>Korea, and at JTC1 (which meets in Singapore in November: anyone want to
Can you send me the details of the Singapore meeting? I may be able to
attend. Lars Marius, Naito-san and I met with one of the Japan delegates
of SC 36 last year and at that time and she was also very much interested
in topic maps (I need to hunt down here name card). SC36 seems to be very
active in Japan. I will see if I can attend one of the Japan sc36 meetings
as a guest.
As far as I can remember, they are working on standards such as SCORM for
online training. They might be working on a controlled vocabulary for
sc34wg3 mailing list
|
<urn:uuid:9ffc76d0-6fb3-4d4d-ba89-aae1ac7b782a>
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
|
https://www.isotopicmaps.org/pipermail/sc34wg3/2003-September/001855.html
|
2023-09-30T00:18:27Z
|
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|
en
| 0.892286
| 546
|
I was driving home from doing a food review and ended up driving right into one of the worst thunderstorms I've experienced in my life! Now y'all know I already can't see (on a sunny day) so you can imagine how scared I was trying to get home. I kept looking for places to pull over while I was praying but I heard God say, "Keep going, I got you!" It calmed me down some, but I was still a bit nervous. I saw a parking lot that I contemplated parking in, but I heard Gods peak again. This time he said, "I SAID, I GOT YOU!" I remained calm and took my time and kept going. I said, "ok God, I trust you, but would you please ease up this rain and wind for just 10 minutes." Before I knew it, the sun was shining so bright; it was if it had never stormed. All I could say was THANK YOU GOD!
Do you really trust that God answers prayers? Or better yet, do you have the faith to know and believe that the prayers will be answered right ON time and not YOUR time? I knew God was going to keep me safe and protect me, but my lack of vision created a doubt in me that wasn't necessary. And even though I couldn't see, God saw and sees all!
When we pray, we must also believe. And when we believe, we must also have faith and patience. When God says, "I got you!", He got you! And nobody can and will have my back like God!
Have your way, Lord!
|
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CC-MAIN-2023-40
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|
2023-09-30T00:49:45Z
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