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Pumpkin|wants|to|have|it|both|ways|. |
Director|Uwe|Boll|and|the|actors|provide|scant|reason|to|care|in|this|crude|'70s|throwback|. |
(|W|)|hile|long|on|amiable|monkeys|and|worthy|environmentalism|,|Jane|Goodall|'s|Wild|Chimpanzees|is|short|on|the|thrills|the|oversize|medium|demands|. |
Outer-space|buffs|might|love|this|film|,|but|others|will|find|its|pleasures|intermittent|. |
This|piece|of|Channel|5|grade|trash|is|,|quite|frankly|,|an|insult|to|the|intelligence|of|the|true|genre|enthusiast|. |
An|occasionally|funny|,|but|overall|limp|,|fish-out-of-water|story|. |
A|bloated|gasbag|thesis|grotesquely|impressed|by|its|own|gargantuan|aura|of|self-importance|... |
It|'s|mighty|tedious|for|the|viewer|who|has|to|contend|with|unpleasant|characters|,|hit-and-miss|performances|and|awkwardly|staged|scenes|. |
As|A|Rumor|of|Angels|reveals|itself|to|be|a|sudsy|tub|of|supernatural|hokum|,|not|even|Ms.|Redgrave|'s|noblest|efforts|can|redeem|it|from|hopeless|sentimentality|. |
New|Best|Friend|'s|Playboy-mansion|presentation|of|college|life|is|laugh-out-loud|ludicrous|. |
an|appalling|`|Ace|Ventura|'|rip-off|that|somehow|manages|to|bring|together|Kevin|Pollak|,|former|wrestler|Chyna|and|Dolly|Parton|. |
If|any|of|them|list|this|`|credit|'|on|their|resumes|in|the|future|,|that|'ll|be|much|funnier|than|anything|in|the|film|... |
The|humor|is|forced|and|heavy-handed|,|and|occasionally|simply|unpleasant|. |
Scorsese|at|his|best|makes|gangster|films|that|are|equally|lovely|but|also|relentlessly|brutal|and|brutally|intelligent|;|Perdition|,|meanwhile|,|reads|more|like|Driving|Miss|Daisy|than|GoodFellas|. |
While|the|script|starts|promisingly|,|it|loses|steam|towards|the|middle|and|never|really|develops|beyond|attacking|obvious|target|. |
As|the|latest|bid|in|the|TV-to-movie|franchise|game|,|I|Spy|makes|its|big-screen|entry|with|little|of|the|nervy|originality|of|its|groundbreaking|small-screen|progenitor|. |
This|is|n't|even|Madonna|'s|Swept|Away|. |
This|is|her|Blue|Lagoon|. |
The|director|knows|how|to|apply|textural|gloss|,|but|his|portrait|of|sex-as-war|is|strictly|sitcom|. |
...|the|film|suffers|from|a|lack|of|humor|(|something|needed|to|balance|out|the|violence|)|... |
Burns|never|really|harnesses|to|full|effect|the|energetic|cast|. |
An|overemphatic|,|would-be|wacky|,|ultimately|tedious|sex|farce|. |
Has|all|the|depth|of|a|wading|pool|. |
This|is|the|sort|of|burly|action|flick|where|one|coincidence|pummels|another|,|narrative|necessity|is|a|drunken|roundhouse|,|and|whatever|passes|for|logic|is|a|factor|of|the|last|plot|device|left|standing|. |
The|so-inept|-|it|'s|-|surreal|dubbing|(|featuring|the|voices|of|Glenn|Close|,|Regis|Philbin|and|Breckin|Meyer|)|brings|back|memories|of|cheesy|old|Godzilla|flicks|. |
...|the|movie|is|just|a|plain|old|monster|. |
If|this|disposable|tissue|has|one|wild|card|,|it|'s|John|Turturro|,|who|'s|simply|fab|as|a|Spanish|butler|with|a|foot|fetish|. |
One|long|string|of|cliches|. |
Fancy|a|real|downer|? |
(|Leigh|)|lays|it|on|so|thick|this|time|that|it|feels|like|a|suicide|race|. |
Professionally|speaking|,|it|'s|tempting|to|jump|ship|in|January|to|avoid|ridiculous|schlock|like|this|shoddy|suspense|thriller|. |
Nelson|'s|brutally|unsentimental|approach|...|sucks|the|humanity|from|the|film|,|leaving|behind|an|horrific|but|weirdly|unemotional|spectacle|. |
Weaves|a|spell|over|you|,|with|its|disturbingly|close-up|look|at|damaged|psyches|and|its|subtle|undercurrents|of|danger|. |
But|its|awkward|structure|keeps|breaking|the|spell|. |
At|once|half-baked|and|overheated|. |
There|'s|a|solid|woman|-|finding-herself|story|somewhere|in|here|,|but|you|'d|have|to|dig|pretty|deep|to|uncover|it|. |
I|still|ca|n't|relate|to|Stuart|:|He|'s|a|mouse|,|for|cryin|'|out|loud|,|and|all|he|does|is|milk|it|with|despondent|eyes|and|whine|that|nobody|treats|him|human|enough|. |
(|Serry|)|wants|to|blend|politics|and|drama|,|an|admirable|ambition|. |
It|'s|too|bad|that|the|helping|hand|he|uses|to|stir|his|ingredients|is|also|a|heavy|one|. |
By|the|miserable|standards|to|which|the|slasher|genre|has|sunk|,|...|actually|pretty|good|. |
Of|course|,|by|more|objective|measurements|it|'s|still|quite|bad|. |
The|only|entertainment|you|'ll|derive|from|this|choppy|and|sloppy|affair|will|be|from|unintentional|giggles|--|several|of|them|. |
Sam|Mendes|has|become|valedictorian|at|the|School|for|Soft|Landings|and|Easy|Ways|Out|. |
Exactly|what|it|claims|to|be|--|a|simple|diversion|for|the|kids|. |
Its|story|may|be|a|thousand|years|old|,|but|why|did|it|have|to|seem|like|it|took|another|thousand|to|tell|it|to|us|? |
The|problem|with|this|film|is|that|it|lacks|focus|. |
I|sympathize|with|the|plight|of|these|families|,|but|the|movie|does|n't|do|a|very|good|job|conveying|the|issue|at|hand|. |
A|momentary|escape|from|the|summer|heat|and|the|sedentary|doldrums|that|set|in|at|this|time|of|year|. |
...|think|of|it|as|American|Pie|On|Valium|. |
Dull|,|lifeless|,|and|amateurishly|assembled|. |
Puportedly|``|Based|on|True|Events|,|''|a|convolution|of|language|that|suggests|it|'s|impossible|to|claim|that|it|is|``|Based|on|a|True|Story|''|with|a|straight|face|. |
...|a|plotline|that|'s|as|lumpy|as|two-day|old|porridge|...|the|filmmakers|'|paws|,|sad|to|say|,|were|all|over|this|``|un-bear-able|''|project|! |
It|'s|a|bad|thing|when|a|movie|has|about|as|much|substance|as|its|end|credits|blooper|reel|. |
With|its|dogged|Hollywood|naturalism|and|the|inexorable|passage|of|its|characters|toward|sainthood|,|Windtalkers|is|nothing|but|a|sticky-sweet|soap|. |
Some|of|it|is|clever|,|but|it|is|never|melodic|\/ |
Better|to|just|call|it|ABC|Kiarostami|. |
For|AIDS|and|Africa|are|nothing|more|than|part|of|the|scenery|. |
No|aspirations|to|social|import|inform|the|movie|version|. |
This|is|a|shameless|sham|,|calculated|to|cash|in|on|the|popularity|of|its|stars|. |
Manages|to|be|somewhat|well-acted|,|not|badly|art-directed|and|utterly|unengaging|no|matter|how|hard|it|tries|to|be|thrilling|,|touching|or|,|yikes|,|uproarious|. |
This|rather|superficial|arthouse|middle-brow|film|knows|how|to|please|a|crowd|,|and|that|'s|about|all|it|does|well|. |
It|'s|clear|the|filmmakers|were|n't|sure|where|they|wanted|their|story|to|go|,|and|even|more|clear|that|they|lack|the|skills|to|get|us|to|this|undetermined|destination|. |
As|vulgar|as|it|is|banal|. |
You|wonder|why|Enough|was|n't|just|a|music|video|rather|than|a|full-length|movie|. |
The|film|'s|tone|and|pacing|are|off|almost|from|the|get-go|. |
The|talented|and|clever|Robert|Rodriguez|perhaps|put|a|little|too|much|heart|into|his|first|film|and|did|n't|reserve|enough|for|his|second|. |
More|whiny|downer|than|corruscating|commentary|. |
Tambor|and|Clayburgh|make|an|appealing|couple|--|he|'s|understated|and|sardonic|,|she|'s|appealingly|manic|and|energetic|. |
Both|deserve|better|. |
Suffocated|by|its|fussy|script|and|uptight|characters|,|this|musty|adaptation|is|all|the|more|annoying|since|it|'s|been|packaged|and|sold|back|to|us|by|Hollywood|. |
Coughs|and|sputters|on|its|own|postmodern|conceit|. |
A|wildly|inconsistent|emotional|experience|. |
Sit|through|this|one|,|and|you|wo|n't|need|a|magic|watch|to|stop|time|;|your|DVD|player|will|do|it|for|you|. |
A|sometimes|tedious|film|. |
Teen|movies|have|really|hit|the|skids|. |
There|are|plot|holes|big|enough|for|Shamu|the|killer|whale|to|swim|through|. |
...|plays|like|somebody|spliced|random|moments|of|a|Chris|Rock|routine|into|what|is|otherwise|a|cliche-riddled|but|self-serious|spy|thriller|. |
Nasty|,|ugly|,|pointless|and|depressing|,|even|if|you|hate|clowns|. |
What|is|100|%|missing|here|is|a|script|of|even|the|most|elemental|literacy|,|an|inkling|of|genuine|wit|,|and|anything|resembling|acting|. |
does|paint|some|memorable|images|...|,|but|Makhmalbaf|keeps|her|distance|from|the|characters |
It|uses|the|pain|and|violence|of|war|as|background|material|for|color|. |
just|not|campy|enough |
The|movie|,|directed|by|Mick|Jackson|,|leaves|no|cliche|unturned|,|from|the|predictable|plot|to|the|characters|straight|out|of|central|casting|. |
It|'s|everything|you|do|n't|go|to|the|movies|for|. |
Like|watching|a|dress|rehearsal|the|week|before|the|show|goes|up|:|everything|'s|in|place|but|something|'s|just|a|little|off-kilter|. |
The|affectionate|loopiness|that|once|seemed|congenital|to|Demme|'s|perspective|has|a|tough|time|emerging|from|between|the|badly|dated|cutesy-pie|mystery|scenario|and|the|newfangled|Hollywood|post-production|effects|. |
For|all|its|technical|virtuosity|,|the|film|is|so|mired|in|juvenile|and|near-xenophobic|pedagogy|that|it|'s|enough|to|make|one|pine|for|the|day|when|Godard|can|no|longer|handle|the|rigors|of|filmmaking|. |
American|Chai|encourages|rueful|laughter|at|stereotypes|only|an|Indian-American|would|recognize|. |
And|the|lesson|,|in|the|end|,|is|nothing|new|. |
It|made|me|want|to|wrench|my|eyes|out|of|my|head|and|toss|them|at|the|screen|. |
Due|to|some|script|weaknesses|and|the|casting|of|the|director|'s|brother|,|the|film|trails|off|into|inconsequentiality|. |
...|plot|holes|so|large|and|obvious|a|marching|band|might|as|well|be|stomping|through|them|in|clown|clothes|,|playing|a|college|football|fight|song|on|untuned|instruments|. |
So|devoid|of|any|kind|of|intelligible|story|that|it|makes|films|like|XXX|and|Collateral|Damage|seem|like|thoughtful|treatises |
Combining|quick-cut|editing|and|a|blaring|heavy|metal|much|of|the|time|,|Beck|seems|to|be|under|the|illusion|that|he|'s|shooting|the|latest|System|of|a|Down|video|. |
Dragonfly|has|no|atmosphere|,|no|tension|--|nothing|but|Costner|,|flailing|away|. |
It|'s|a|buggy|drag|. |
Works|hard|to|establish|rounded|characters|,|but|then|has|nothing|fresh|or|particularly|interesting|to|say|about|them|. |
The|action|switches|between|past|and|present|,|but|the|material|link|is|too|tenuous|to|anchor|the|emotional|connections|that|purport|to|span|a|125-year|divide|. |
Nonsensical|,|dull|``|cyber-horror|''|flick|is|a|grim|,|hollow|exercise|in|flat|scares|and|bad|acting|. |
Instead|of|hiding|Pinocchio|from|critics|,|Miramax|should|have|hidden|it|from|everyone|. |
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