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It's been awhile |
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted |
And it's been awhile since I can say I love myself as well |
But Max…well, she had a way of making him forget all of that, sometimes. Terry smiles. Yeah, she was the one thing that made the job just a bit easier, even with his hesitation at letting her fight by his side. It wasn't just the physical presence of her but her quick wits, vast intelligence, and overwhelming spirit in... |
And it's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do |
And it's been awhile but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you |
And everything I can't remember |
As fucked up as it all may seem |
The consequences that I've rendered |
I've gone and fucked things up again |
Terry sighs deeply and hops down from the table, wincing as his sides ache with dull pain, and wobbles his way over to the phone on the console of the computer. He pauses at bringing the receiver up to his ear, considering how she might react. Anger, of course, was one of Maxine Gibson's favorite emotions. He's been aw... |
Why must I feel this way? |
Just make this go away |
Just one more peaceful day |
He dials her number by heart and gets the answering machine. He hangs up. No sense in leaving a message—he hadn't the slightest idea of what to say. But still, he knows things have to be different. |
The trip to her apartment is painful and slow, but he makes it in well enough time. He'd called Wayne on the way and told him where he was going. The old man was less than thrilled, but he didn't voice any objection. That was rare, these days. |
He knocks twice on her door, letting out a slow breath. |
"Who is it?" |
"It's me." |
A pause. Terry holds his breath. Slowly, he hears the soft click of the locks sliding back and watches the door open to reveal Max standing there in her pajamas, mouth slightly agape with shock. Despite her expression, she looks as cute as ever in the lavender tank top and royal purple boy shorts. He spares her a small... |
"May I come in?" |
She nods gently, stepping aside to let him in. His stride is steadier than earlier, but he's sure she can pick up on his slight limp. She helps him out of the jacket and hovers around his form worriedly, lifting the edge of his t-shirt to inspect his bindings. He catches her wrist gently and shakes his head to dissuade... |
"Sorry. Habit," Max mutters, perching on a stool in front of the kitchen counter. |
"How are you feeling?" |
Terry shrugs, winces, and reminds himself not to shrug again for another three months. |
"Like somebody dropped a house on me. And then a meteor crashed into it. Before the atom bomb went off." |
Max shakes her head, crossing her long legs and tucking her arms under her chest. "You always had a way with words, didn't you?" |
He grins lightly. "It's a gift." |
Slowly, their smiles fade and she realizes he came for a reason. |
"So…" Her voice is suddenly soft and careful. "Why did you come?" |
He takes a moment to choose his words, compiling all his thoughts until they start to make some kind of sense. |
"I…realized that things need to be different." |
"Which things?" |
"All of them." |
She nods, rubbing her bare arms uncomfortably. "How different?" |
Terry shakes his head slightly, staring at the floor. He hates to look at her when he has bad news; her face is too gorgeous for sadness and disappointment. She can give him that one look and he'll promise her anything, even the impossible. |
"Like with us. I…can't keep doing this to you. Fighting and making up and pushing you away and wanting you back…you deserve better than that. We both know it." |
Max looks at him then, her face darkening into a frown. "You're making it sound like it's all your fault." |
He begins to sigh. "Max…" |
"No, Ter, we've been through this already. Everything that we've done is a decision we both made. Not just you. I'm not a poor, innocent victim of your 'brutality'. I have just as much control over my life as you have over yours." |
"Look at me, dammit!" She grabs a handful of his shirt and pulls him close, sliding her fingers to the side of his face to make him look at her. She sees him pull the shields up over his eyes and is not fooled by them—she's had her own for so long that she can recognize his. She knows that he blames the fault of the wo... |
"I have never regretted anything since this started. And deep down, neither do you. I know you want to save me and everyone else you protect, but you can't because you won't even save yourself. So do me a favor and stop blaming yourself or you'll get us both killed." |
From this close, he feels like their sharing more than body contact. Beneath all the beauty and sarcasm and fierceness, he knows she understands him. That is what scares him more than anything else; the thought of giving in to woman like her who can read him in an instant. How could he be cruel enough to love her if hi... |
He opens his mouth one last time and she lays a finger on his lips, leaning her forehead against his. His arms automatically slide around her waist and her legs around his, holding him close. |
"Shut up. Just shut up, Ter." |
When they kiss, he feels the warmth of her tears against his skin. He knows she's right. There is no going back from here. And the only way to defeat the guilt inside him is to love her even though everything inside him is afraid to lose her. |
And it's been awhile |
Since I could look at myself straight |
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry |
And it's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face |
And it's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste |
Her skin is just as soft and flawless as the last time he touched her. The bed is just as warm and inviting as the last time he laid her down, paused to watch the moonlight gleam across her gorgeous curves, let his fingers glide up along her long legs. But this time, he takes his time, patiently spreading kisses over h... |
And it's been awhile |
Since I could hold my head up high |
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry. |
A/N: Definitely not my best work, but the idea came to me last night while I was listening to the song. Please give me feedback: I need to know if it's too serious or too boring. Let me know please, wonderful readers. |
Homemade Corn Tortillas |
Average rating of 0/5. (0 Ratings) |
My rating |
• I love it! |
• I like it a lot! |
• I like it. |
• Just okay. |
• Not for me. |
Prep Time 30min Cook Time 30min |
This recipe is adapted from the Rick Bayless book 'Authentic Mexican,' which is a book I really like. Masa harina is fine, lime-treated corn flour that you can find in the Mexican-foods section of any large supermarket or natural foods store; I use Masa Brosa brand, but only because that's what there was -- I don't hav... |
To make enough only for dinner for a family of four, halve the recipe and make 8 tortillas. (Of course, if you've got time, it's better to make the full recipe and store leftovers in the fridge in a Ziploc -- but it's much quicker to make half.) Also: I want credit for another recipe with NO SALT in it. |
What you'll need |
• 1 3/4 cups masa harina (corn flour) |
• 1 cup hot tap water |
Yields 15 tortillas |
How to make it |
1. Stir together the masa harina and water, then knead it on the counter until it's smooth, adding more water or masa harina as needed to make a soft but not sticky dough. (Sometimes I just knead it around a bit in the bowl, without even dumping it out.) Cover with plastic wrap or a bowl cover, and let it rest for 30... |
2. Check the rested dough: It should be quite soft, so that you can press it without the edges cracking, but not so sticky that you won't be able to handle the uncooked tortillas -- a bit of a trial-and-error situation, but one with low stakes, since the ingredients are inexpensive. Divide the dough into 15 balls (a ... |
3. If you have a tortilla press, then do whatever you need to do to prepare it. If you don't, then cut a gallon-size Ziploc freezer bag into two large squares of plastic and get out a Pyrex pie plate. This will be your makeshift press -- and it will work beautifully. |
4. Now, heat a cast iron griddle or a pair of frying pans that can stand high heat. One side of the griddle or one pan should be on high heat, and the other should be on medium-low heat. |
5. Press the tortillas: Place a ball of dough between the two squares of plastic, then press down with the pie plate, smashing and rocking it a bit to get the tortilla nice and flat. Peel it off of the plastic carefully (peel the top plastic off first, then flip it so the tortilla is in your palm and peel off the oth... |
6. Speaking of getting the hang of it, there's a rhythm that will develop naturally once your confidence grows: you will press a tortilla and lay it on the cooler part of the griddle; you will press another and flip the first tortilla onto the hotter part of the griddle and lay the new one on the cooler side; you wil... |
7. Keep the finished tortillas wrapped in a dish towel until you're ready to eat them. I find they can actually hold this way for a couple of hours, but if you need to reheat them, you can wrap the tortillas and their dish towel in foil and heat them in a very low oven for a while. To reheat refrigerated homemade or ... |
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(Almost) undetectable hardware-based rootkits |
Fourth-Generation Rootkits |
Originally, I intended to write an article about the current state of rootkits and the tools that could be used to detect them. But I ran into a slight problem – the more modern rootkits tend to be really good at avoiding detection. By really good, I mean that you're unlikely to detect them unless you take action, such... |
History Lesson |
Traditional rootkits were relatively simplistic programs, often running as a standalone daemon providing backdoor access. These were generally easy to detect by looking for a new process or newly installed software, which led attackers to start subverting system binaries. In turn, this led to attackers installing modif... |
Kernel-Based Rootkits |
Soon attackers realized that more sophisticated hiding and subversion methods were needed to control a system, which led to kernel-based rootkits. By modifying the system call table, an attacker can avoid detection easily because, simply put, they control what you are seeing and how your programs are executing. |
Typically attackers use one of two methods to modify the system kernel: either loading a malicious kernel module (e.g., heroin) or patching the in-memory kernel by writing to the special device /dev/kmem (e.g., SucKIT). Because these attacks live in memory only, their disadvantage is that they typically do not survive ... |
Difficult as they can be to detect, these rootkits can be found by comparing the current system call table with the expected (i.e., by examining the file System.map). Dumps of system memory can be taken and used to verify that the kernel in memory is correct. |
So what are attackers to do? Go deeper, of course. |
Hardware-Based Rootkits and the Virtualized OS |
Released in 2006 at Black Hat in Vegas, the first publicized hardware-based rootkit was called "Blue Pill" [2]. Modern CPU's from AMD and Intel include a number of features that support virtualization of operating systems. Because they no longer need to modify the operating system to work, these rootkits are harder to ... |
Because two IDTRs (the real one and the one being presented to the compromised operating system) now exist, the one being presented to the compromised operating system will be at a different memory location than usual. Fortunately, the privileged instruction Store Interrupt Descriptor Table (SIDT) can be run from user ... |
This appears to be a stalemate: The attackers have created new methods to hide rootkits, and the defenders have found ways to detect them. |
Read full article as PDF: |
Security_Lessons_Fourth_Generation_Rootkits.pdf (190.59 kB) |
Related content |
• Expert Security Intro |
• Kernel Rootkits |
• Virtualizing Rootkits |
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