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"Uhuh" I say, wittily. |
She puts the magazine down and turns to me, her eyes bright and her face animated. |
"What do you think?" she asks. |
"What do you think? About only eating vegetables in season." |
I decide to come clean. "I wasn't listening properly." |
"Why not?" |
"You're talking about vegetables." |
"I can't even feign interest in it." |
This enrages her. |
"Why not? You always say that! I ask about something, and you say you can't even feign interest in it. It's like a stock phrase for you. Do you ever actually try to feign interest?" |
I have a little think about this. |
"Uhuh" I say, earnestly. |
"You do? When? Give me an example." |
I am aware there is no good answer to this question. Silence here would be as damning as owning up to anything. It is an exquisite, classic piece of 'husband entrapment' that will award her the moral high ground regardless of my reply. |
"You can't, can you? Come on, name one conversation that we have had today where you, on my behalf, actually tried and feigned interest in it?" |
I decide that, as I'm going down, I may as well go in style. |
"This one?" I offer. |
Pat said... |
"I may as well go in style..." |
You are a true champion when it comes to wife-baiting. I salute your bravery, sir. |
Anonymous said... |
You always had to go that little bit too far, dintcha? |
Anonymous said... |
just think, it's only a matter of 12 days or so until Amelie can say, "daddy, why are you crying? Is it because WEIRD UNCLE KC (KAAAAY-SI)has just overtaken you again? He's the coolest driver in the race!!" |
Bring it on!!! haha |
PDC said... |
Pat: Bravery or stupidity? Opinion is divided... |
Anonymous: Hello mother, is that you? when did you learn to use the internet? |
KC: It's more likely to be: "Why is weird uncle KC here again? He smells funny, and I can hear him crying at night." |
Paul said... |
"Business sausage"? It sounds like one of those surreal graphics from the finance news on "The Day Today", cf. the "currency cat" and so forth. |
max said... |
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator. |
PDC said... |
For some reason, I did think 'the business sausage' might be Sir Alan Sugar. Not sure why. |
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Tri-Fold Foam Folding Mattress & Sofa Bed . ( Foldable Futon Bed #1)Futon 53 Magnificent Fold Out Futon Bed Picture Inspirations (awesome Foldable Futon Bed Great Pictures #2)Foldable Futon Bed #3 Elegant Folding Futon Mattress 24 With Additional Living Room Decor Inspiration With Folding Futon MattressJacksonville B... |
fold1 (fōld),USA pronunciation v.t. |
cross: He folded his arms on his chest. |
6. to enclose; |
envelop: to fold something in paper. |
7. to embrace or clasp; |
enfold: to fold someone in one's arms. |
9. to bring to an end; |
3. to fail in business; |
be forced to close: The newspaper folded after 76 years. |
6. fold up: |
• to break down; |
collapse: He folded up when the prosecutor discredited his story. |
• to fail, esp. to go out of business. |
1. a part that is folded; |
layer: folds of cloth. |
6. a coil of a serpent, string, etc. |
7. the act of folding or doubling over. |
folda•ble, adj. |
out (out),USA pronunciation adv. |
5. to the end or conclusion; |
out of joint: His back went out after his fall. |
12. on strike: The miners go out at midnight. |
21. aloud or loudly: to cry out. |
22. with completeness or effectiveness: to fill out. |
23. thoroughly; |
entirely: The children tired me out. |
25. all out, with maximum effort; |
26. out and away, to a surpassing extent; |
far and away; |
29. out of: |
• not within: out of the house. |
• not in a condition of: out of danger. |
• so as to deprive or be deprived of. |
• because of; |
owing to: out of loyalty. |
30. out of it, [Informal.] |
• not conscious; |
drunk or heavily drugged. |
• not alert or clearheaded; |
1. not at one's home or place of employment; |
2. not open to consideration; |
3. wanting; |
without: We had some but now we're out. |
6. inoperative; |
extinguished: The elevator is out. Are the lights out? |
7. finished; |
ended: before the week is out. |
9. unconscious; |
senseless: Two drinks and he's usually out. |
11. [Baseball.] |
12. beyond fixed or regular limits; |
out of bounds: The ball was out. |
14. incorrect or inaccurate: His calculations are out. |
15. not in practice; |
unskillful from lack of practice: Your bow hand is out. |
17. exposed; |
18. at variance; |
at odds; |
unfriendly: They are out with each other. |
19. moving or directed outward; |
outgoing: the out train. |
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