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Look for Hitchens to steal this one for his next book. |
Moonies are like Mormons because both religions start with an M. |
Ph.D candidate. |
L. Ron Hubbard was an example of a magus figure because Tom Cruise likes his ideas. |
I always thought this was a magus figure: |
Liberals are a lot more conservative when it comes to displaying their beliefs. |
This was written before Glenn Beck came on the national stage. In fact, one might say it was written in a better, happier time. |
Liberals are individuals who aren't conservative. |
C. Obvious again! |
Zionism - a group of Jewish people that believe that Israel should be completely Jewish...they're sort of an activist group. |
That's right. Zionism is one of the biggest activist groups in the world, up there with Greenpeace and, I don't know, the fuckin' WWF: |
Since all the Jews have been dispersed so much over the years, they want, and so does everyone else, the Jews to all reassemble and move back to Israel. |
That's right. That's why Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is always offering to bomb the area - making it easier for all the Jews to just move on in! |
The Jewish attitude towards the body is that when doing communion, for example, the bread is His body, and wine is His blood. |
Is that during Hanukkah or Yom Kippur? |
Zionism is the belief that there is one main god, but there are also others. If the others are on the same side as the main god, they are good, and if not, they are bad. At the end of time there will be a great battle between good and bad and the good will win. |
That's from Zionism 2:14. "And there shall be a battle between the main god and the other gods - Zeus, Thor, and Bob. And good shall win. Oy vey!" |
Orthodoxy refers to the rich and strict Jewish followers. Orthopraxis has something to do with dental work. |
No, no, NO! Praxis is the moon of Qu'noS that blew up in Star Trek VI! |
A golem is a Jewish article of clothing. |
Guess where they wear it? Not there. Pervert. |
Zionism can involve animals. In a religious way. |
I hope they're wearing their golem. |
Transubstantiation is having to do with travel, and Jesus did some travelling up until he died. |
Jesus did some transubstantiatin' after he died too, according to the Mormons. And the Catholics. Who's right? |
Apocrypha were the paintings done within the Eastern Orthodox Church, such as those of the Virgin Mary. This was in contrast to the statues of the West Roman Catholic Church. |
Ah, yes. The famous Apocrypha of St. Basil's Cathedral. |
Apocrypha is similar to the word apocalypse, and both involve the world coming to an end. |
It is also similar to the word apostrophe, which (like apocrypha) has nothing to do with the world coming to an end. |
...possession in Christianity belongs to God. Your body is a temple which holds the holy spirit and the soul. One has to act according to Christian morals and guidelines so the spirit can come alive and guide the body. In Voodoo, one person can act in a similar fashion to God by possessing the body of someone else and ... |
I don't even know. |
Calvinist believe that Original Sin is about Adam and Eve having sex, and not about the forbidden fruit at all. |
Hermeneutics is a religion of witch craft which just started in the 1940s, although they claim it has been going on since the start of time. There is no historical proof of this. |
Honestly, I don't know where to start with this. Pointing out that it would be impossible to prove something historically that started back at the Big Bang, or pointing out that hermeneutics is actually the study of the interpretation of historical texts. |
Original Sin is the sin we are all born with, which really just gives us the authority to commit sin. |
And you will respect mah authoritah! |
One more, my favourite: |
Taoism is a religion where you pick an animal or a rock to be your god. |
I choose granite. |
Sunday, September 6, 2009 |
Ship of the Week: USS Archerfish (SS-331) |
Submarines are ships too. They are narrow, cramped, long, penis-shaped ships who's job is to shove similarly penis-shaped objects into other ships, exploding dramatically into a hole that then destroys the other ships. |
I've been reading too much feminist literature. Everything is a penis now. |
Anyway, this is about one of the most famous submarines in naval history. Like many other famous vessels, this ship had a long and distinguished career, but had one action that really made it stand out - one of the greatest submarine actions in American history. We're talking about: |
USS Archerfish (SS-331) |
Archerfish was one of 128 Balao-class submarines built by the United States Navy during World War II. The Balao-class vessels provided the bulk of the work done by the USN in the submarine war against Japan, and was very closely related to the preceding Gato-class ships. Like the rest of the ships in her class, Archerf... |
Like many submarines, Archerfishstarted her war in 1943, and wasn't particularly notable right away. She had a few failed attacks and rescued the life of a downed naval aviator during air attacks on Iwo Jima. So, a fairly boring and basic life for a submarine. |
That all changed on 28 November, 1944. Archerfish was stationed off Tokyo Bay as a recovery craft for B-29 crew from airplanes shot down or damaged over Japan. However, on that day, there were to be no B-29 raids. However, a large ship was spotted leaving Tokyo Bay - probably a tanker. Archerfish was given license to p... |
Upon reaching station, Commander Joe Enright, in charge of Archerfish, realized that the ship was not a tanker at all, but instead an aircraft carrier. He tracked the ship carefully, and the carrier turned into Archerfish's path. Enright prepared a spread of six torpedoes, to run shallow to hopefully capsize the top-he... |
Four of the torpedos hit, and Archerfish could hear the enemy vessel making breaking noises as she dove away from the scene of the attack. One of the enemy's escorts pursued the US sub, attacking it with depth charges. However, Archerfish survived, and was hailed as a hero. Enright won the Navy Cross - and Archerfish h... |
Turns out the ship the Archerfish sank was the Shinano, a Yamato-class battleship that had been converted into an aircraft carrier secretly by the Japanese, and was capable of carrying like 160 airplanes. She displaced 72,000 tons, and thus was the largest ship ever sunk by submarine. |
Shinano was a rush conversion, and design flaws contributed greatly to Archerfish's ability to send her to the bottom. In addition, the damage was originally presumed to be minor; Shinano was able to continue steaming. But the ship's watertight doors weren't quite watertight - some theories have said that they failed t... |
She stayed up for 4 hours, then capsized and sank. |
Archerfish served after the war, in the role of an attack submarine, and a research boat after the advent of the nuclear sub. She was finally retired in May of 1968 after 25 years of service in the United States Navy. She was then sunk as a target. In addition to her Presidential Unit Citation, Archerfish received seve... |
Saturday, September 5, 2009 |
College Football doesn't leave players with a sense of entitlement at all! |
So, because I am at work, bored, and have nothing better to do, I was reloading Twitter waiting for shitmydadsays to update, and I started reading the other recent feeds. I saw Jen's tweet about going to a college football game, and curiosity killed the proverbial cat. I opened up ESPN and took a look to see who Purdue... |
And I found this: Oregon Ducks suspend LeGarrette Blount for remainder of season. |
Basically, Blount suckerpunched a guy in the face because the Ducks lost a game they were expected to lose. Yeah, real sportsmanlike, Mr. Blunt. Oregon did the right thing and immediately suspended him. Except... |
"He is taking this very hard," Kelly said, choking up. "He understands he made a mistake and he has to pay for the mistake. But we're not going to throw LeGarrette Blount out on the street." |
Kelly said he hoped Blount's ultimate legacy "won't be a YouTube clip of what happened to him on September 3rd in Boise, Idaho." |
Blount gets to keep his scholarship and he gets to keep practicing with the team. But his legacy shouldn't be "what happened to him"? What about what happened to Byron Hout? Byron Hout was punched in the head, and could have been seriously injured. Hout was apparently loudly celebrating his team's victory, and in Bloun... |
Blount says he lost his head. But it sure took him awhile to find it, because: |
Blount also had to be restrained by police from fans heckling him on the way to the locker room. |
So, not only did he take on a football player, he was ready to go beat up those fans, who were heckling him (on home turf) because he punched a guy in the head. Wow, real brave man. A great idol for all prospective football players. |
There was an upside, however: |
"This case points out that we still need to have a commitment to sportsmanship and respect," [Geoff Teaff, executive director of the American Football Coaches Association] told ESPN's Joe Schad. "It was sad as I watched [the events in Boise], but the good news is nobody joined in. That would have been a brawl back in t... |
Oh, that is good news. Thanks, Geoff Teaff, for pointing that out! |
Friday, September 4, 2009 |
Aircraft of the Week: Polikarpov I-16 |
This week's airplane is another monoplane fighter. This is from the 1930s and early 1940s, and was a pioneer in that it was the first cantilever monoplane with a fully retractable undercarriage and an enclosed cockpit (which most Red Army pilots ripped off). It served with distinction in the Spanish Civil War, and whil... |
The Polikarpov I-16 |
This tiny little fighter was a highly maneuverable and very quick plane for its time. An all-weather fighter (a must in Russia), the I-16 had a Wright Cyclone engine in a small body, giving it a very high power-to-weight ratio. A well-designed wing gave it a high lift - and the fighter could be quickly whipped off the ... |
The I-16 (also known as the Rata or Mosca in Spain and the Siipiorava in Finland) had a heavy armament of two 7.92mm machine guns and two 20mm cannons, which brought more punch to the fight than its contemporaries in Spain. The He-51 and the Ar-68 only had two machine guns, and were biplanes. The I-16 was more than a m... |
Unfortunately, the little Rata ended up battling the Messerschmitt Bf-109 in Spain as well, a plane which rather outclassed it. However, the I-16 remained a valuable plane in both Spanish and Soviet service, for the reasons previously mentioned. It was, numerically, the most important fighter in VVS service in 1939, 19... |
The stubby little fighter showed its worth. The "Istak" (as it was fondly known to the Soviet pilots) could fight in all weather conditions and it whipped easily off the ground. However, it couldn't bring the same speed to higher-altitude combat that the Bf-109 could. The Fw-190 completely had its number. Regardless, t... |
The little plane also served in Chinese service, giving the Japanese a good fight in the air, and served with Spain till the 1950s. By all accounts it was a very easy and pleasant plane to fly and fight, and it was chosen as a satellite test platform for dropping fighters from bombers for longer mission support. A hand... |
Dudette of the Week: Nichelle Nichols |
Nichelle Nichols |
- Online Community Forums » Off-Topic Ordeals » Did any of you write a webcrawler ? |
Did any of you write a webcrawler ? |
Member #2,902 |
November 2002 |
I thought it would be fun to write a web crawling program that indexes and maybe follows links based on some rules that tell it if a page is "interesting" |
No idea where to start though |
- Wisdom is the art of using knowledge |
- String theory: There's music in everything |
Chris Katko |
Member #1,881 |
January 2002 |
You could probably just use cURL or wget with a bash or python script to handle all the downloading specifics. |
It can't be that hard. Just make sure you limit the amount of steps you follow. |
NO IDEA how they handle the modern web 2.0 interfaces though that can change asynchronously without reloading like Facebook. |
If I had "no idea where to start" I'd probably just google some Stack Overflow questions that were similar and read all of them. |
Eric Johnson |
Member #14,841 |
January 2013 |
I wrote a small PHP script a few years ago that would download images from Web sites, if that counts. It basically worked by scanning a Web page for image tags, then it would download said images. It couldn't handle anything generated via AJAX though, obviously. I later made it follow links on pages, but discontinued t... |
I think you can accomplish the same things with wget though. |
EricII on #allegro. |
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