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look up any word, like wcw: |
expensive and addictive like cocaine. |
person 1: how much did you pay for that shit? |
person 2: dont ask its so amannie |
person 1: yo you gotta stop this habit man |
person 2: i know mann its just too amannie |
by ramonl0ver October 15, 2006 |
Words related to amannie |
cocaine crunk klutz stripperskankhoe stupid summer |
I haven’t touched this blog in like a couple of months, and even before then it’s been a rare thing. Basically, NaNoWriMo, Christmas, college and the panic that comes with applying for university kept me busy, as well as a few other personal projects. |
That and I feel like I’m all out of shit to say for a number of reasons. Largely because things have pissed me off more than cheered me up (and I really don’t want to fill this blog up with endless rants – dammin, Jim, I’m 28, not 82), and a lot of what I have had to say of late tends to fit “comfortably” within a coup... |
It was either that or the station is taking it out on me because I called them out, when they tried to claim someone else’s image as their own by slapping their shitty logo over the original. |
The original image is actually a user card from someecards. |
The original image is actually a user card from someecards. And yes, I was understandably pissed that they pulled that shit. They quietly took the post down an hour or two later and then tried to pretend it never happened. |
In any case, it’s looking to be the case that I’m going to be stuck in that feature block for a whole month, possibly more, and I don’t even know if this post will go through to my page, or if I am even able to comment on my own page (never really had that opportunity, to be quite honest). Either for doing the right th... |
And yet, while I am being penalised for the most moronic of possible reasons, others continue to get away with personally attacking someone and calling them the C-word for the “crime” of “failing” to post a link and spouting transphobic shit, to name but a few examples of the bullshit I’ve reported, only to be told tha... |
So, yeah, I went off on a rant. Again. On a lighter note, I’m going to try and give this blog a little more love. I have a few ideas which I might be posting over the next few weeks. So, erm, stay tuned? |
Why News? |
Dear Sky News, |
Why the fuck is the One Direction “movie” even news? |
Why do you insist on reporting on this bullshit like it bears the same level of importance to Britain, if not greater, as something like the shit currently being hosed into the nearest fan in Egypt, the bullshit intimidation tactics our own government is employing in the wake of Edward fucking Snowden’s leaks, or the m... |
Who, with even a hint of a sodding clue, gives a toss about this movie? It’s not even a proper movie, not even in the sense of feature-length documentaries like March of the Penguins. It’s a bunch of camcorder footage that might as well have been edited together by an unpaid intern, yet somehow, people are stupid enoug... |
One Direction themselves are an insult to boy bands. Their “music” is monotonous, detrimental to logical thought, and has probably inflicted aneurysms upon a few people. Whenever I hear this shit on the radio, or have it inflicted upon me by way of a pre-video YouTube ad, I feel inclined to hunt down stuff by the likes... |
So kindly knock off with reporting on unimportant crap like this, especially after it damn near bordered on the level of idiocy that surrounded the Royal Baby yesterday. Focus on what really fucking matters right now. |
Rant over. |
Shaken and Disturbed |
Am I the only one that finds the whole Harlem Shake fad a bit… shit? |
Actually, that’s an understatement. I consider it a stain on YouTube and the Internet, so much so that every time I see someone post a link to a new version of it, I feel myself wishing I had the godlike power to drop an asteroid onto the faces of the original’s creators with such force that not even their Red Power Ra... |
Seriously, it’s stupid. Not funny stupid. Just stupid. I can’t even see why the original video was considered funny to begin with. It’s a bunch of pillocks in morph suits performing faux-spasms and pelvic thrusts on the spot to a “tune” that sounds like someone attempted to cover “Dooms Night” by recording seals bonkin... |
Yet despite this, it has been copycatted more times than is good for my brain activity, with people managing to get themselves arrested or sacked for doing it at a WWII memorial or in a sodding mine. |
And no, I am not knocking it because it’s popular. Gangnam Style was popular. I loved it, and still do, but that people actually tried to compare Harlem Shake to Gangnam Style should be considered the Ultimate Insult to Psy. One is awesomely absurd. The other is just nonsensical in the worst possible way. Learn the dif... |
Oh, and did I mention that they’re not even doing the real Harlem Shake? |
Just STAHP. Let this “meme” die already so that some actual creativity can return to the YouTube home page. Rant over. |
Dusty Knee |
Any gamer recognises the name Bungie, right? They’re the people behind everyone’s favourite faceless super space soldier, the Master Chief, because most people who’ve fondled an Xbox controller probably won’t remember anything prior to Oni. |
Anyway, they’ve been quiet since splitting from Microsoft. Another studio was formed to drag on the Halo franchise while Bungie more or less disappeared without a trace, as far as I was aware. Now they’ve revealed Destiny, a project they’re claiming to be spending ten years and a stupid amount of dollars on. |
And it’s a game about “space marines with guns” (in the words of QWOP creator Bennett Foddy, but totally bang on). |
Ten years and an insane amount of cash on letting gamers play faceless goons in armour. |
If you haven’t figured it out by now, that has pretty much sent my interest down to rock bottom faster than the recent meteor shower over Russia. I mean, aren’t we all tired of this shit by now? Haven’t we gotten more than a little fed up with military shooter after military shooter after military shooter already? Aren... |
Don’t get me wrong, Destiny looks like it has an interesting – actually, scratch that, pretty awesome looking – universe, but I just don’t want to play yet another space marine or another faceless grunt. |
These days, I’m holding out for a hero. If it’s a fixed character, they need to be remembered as fondly as Mario and Sonic, Ryu and Ken, Sam and frickin’ Max. They need to stand out. They need colour and character, and that isn’t going to be achieved with grotty power armour and all the other same-old tropes developers... |
If the character is customisable, I sure as shit don’t want to wrap them up in overly bulky armour. Case in point, my norn warrior in Guild Wars 2. Most soldier profession players seem to go for the biggest, most improbable armour possible, wield the most over-compensatory greatsword they can find, and can’t seem to fi... |
Does that not look like the chest of a hero? |
Does that not look like the gut of a hero? |
Returning to the point now. If you had a billion-dollar budget and ten years to devote to whatever the hell you liked, would you really blow it on something people are surely getting sick of the sight of? |
Seriously, there are so many potential ideas that haven’t been explored yet, so many potential universes to create, with so many time periods and other concepts you could draw from. Why is there not an open-world sci-fi adventure that isn’t post-apocalyptic, for example? |
Think about it: even with a fraction of that cash, you could have had games that put you in the shoes of an adventure seeker on a newly-discovered planet, getting your Indiana Jones on in alien tombs with little more than a grappling hook to defend yourself. You could be an orc policeman rising through the ranks in a c... |
But this won’t happen, because big-name developers and publishers alike are too shit-scared to take risks any more Their trousers turn a shade of yellow at the sight of an untested idea. They’re too comfortable shitting out the same old bromance-riddled military crud for £50 to £60 a pop. Reality check, games industry... |
That time can’t come soon enough. Why it hasn’t arrived already is a mystery. |
Power Trippin’ |
Guild Wars 2 isn’t perfect. It’s got its flaws and annoying little issues that sometimes make me want to slap someone upside the head with a zombie chicken.* Yet I enjoy it for most part. There are some complaints from other players, meanwhile, that I just cannot wrap my head around. |
Among these complaints is the level scaling system. In most MMORPGs, if you take a top-level character to an area designed for new characters, you will most likely be able to kill anything that crosses your path with a single poke of your Sharp Pointy Object of OMGWTFAWESOMELOL+9001 or whatever. In Guild Wars 2, howeve... |
This, for some reason does not sit well with some players, who would rather be able to one-shot everything in a starter map and believe that they don’t feel powerful at all because of this system. |
Firstly: BULL. SHIT. I can take my Level 80 warrior into Queensdale or Wayfarer Foothills or just about any Level 1-10 area and pretty much steamroll anything that moves in as few as three hits. Some foes even get one-shotted. This was the case back when I wasn’t armed with level-appropriate Rare weapons as much as it ... |
Secondly: Why would you even WANT to have the kind of power you demand? It’s probably fun for about all of three seconds before the novelty wears off and, if you haven’t achieved 100% map completion beforehand, would make getting a map cleared or taking part in an event little more than a chore if all you’re doing is r... |
Thirdly, such a game without level scaling would just be plain nonsensical, fantasy setting aside. You want to explain how it would be logical that an upper-level character can axe-slap a L5 sparkfly to the Mists and back yet struggle against a more level-comparable one? |
Thought not. Like I said, GW2 has its failings, but level scaling is so far from being one of them, it’s broken high orbit and drifted away. |
* Zombie chickens exist in Guild Wars 2 and, credit to ArenaNet’s ability to steer clear of some of the fantasy genre’s worst and most overdone clichés, exist in a totally non-comedic and actually unsettling manner. Any player trying to 100% Malchor’s Leap may understand. |
Gone Potty |
While I realise this may come across as pretty inflammatory the sheer ignorance I am about to describe has truly made my really cranky this morning. |
Today a local radio station posted this on their Facebook page: |
Yep, that's a potty with an iPad mount. |
Yep, that’s a potty with an iPad mount. |
Frankly, my eyes fell upon this and my immediate thought was: “Does anyone even buy this?” Otherwise I was pretty indifferent about it. There are, most likely, far worse tablet peripherals out there. Ones that do sell. |
Others weren’t so nonchalant about it: |
iPottyReaction1 iPottyReaction2 iPottyReaction3 iPottyReaction4 iPottyReaction5 iPottyReaction6 iPottyReaction7 iPottyReaction8 |
Oh, where do I even start? I know! How about I introduce all you people to a little marvel of the human mind called a |
First off: Are you morons even going to buy this thing? No? Well, good for you. You have some semblance of a clue how to manage your money. That makes you a marginally better parent, I guess. But still, why do you even care about it so much? Why do you all insist on wasting keystrokes to repeatedly brand it stupid. Thi... |
Secondly: “Kids shouldn’t be allow computers.” “Kids spend too much time in front of TV instead of out playing.” |
This has got to stop. The blaming and animosity towards something that could, no, WILL be part of their future has got to stop. Do you want to know why they’re sitting in front of a console most of their childhoods? It’s because you, the parents, won’t act like damn parents. Here’s an idea for you. In fact, here’s a fe... |
1. Stop blaming IT for your child’s lack of development. Stop whining about them never stepping away from the latest Call of Duty carbon copy and never stepping outside on a good day. Your kids should be outside playing whenever that’s possible and the only person that can do that is you. Make them go out and play. T... |
2. In the house, give them a few toys with some educational value at the least. Nothing fancy. A few action figures and board games wouldn’t go amiss. Participate in their play. |
3. If you have a free (as in available) computer or tablet, do let them play on it. DO NOT just park them in front of it and forget they exist. Sit with them. Guide them. Teach them. Know when to stop and to pull them away. This is how you teach moderation. |
4. Give them educational software. It exists and it doesn’t need an overpriced and under-specced VTech block of plastic to run it. All it takes is a little homework to find them and ascertain which software is right for your offspring. As they get older, push them toward adventure games that command logic in order to... |
5. Ultimately, stop using IT as a scapegoat for your child being an undeveloped little shit with nothing than a future of flipping burgers ahead of them. Use it as a tool for development, and use it the hell wisely. IT surrounds us all. It has become an essential part of our lives in this developed world and it is es... |
Really, sitting there raging about something you’re not even going to buy, blaming the nearest thing that happens to be part of your everyday life and failing to look at yourself and what you could do to aid your child’s development really makes me question the collective intelligence of North East England. That’s not ... |
Rant over. On a lighter note, this one, as crass as it is, was actually pretty funny: |
Well played, lady. Well played. |
Well played, lady. Well played. |
Cover Me |
Hands up all those that recognise “Self Control” by the late Laura Branigan: |
It’s a song that’s so iconic and recognisable it’s been covered a thousand times over since its release and garnered a few more fans with its inclusion in GTA: Vice City. However… |
Would it surprise you to know that Branigan’s version is, in fact, a cover version itself? Woah, put the pitchforks away. Yep, here’s the original by Raffaele Riefoli, aka Raf: |
Both versions saw release in the same year (1984), Branigan’s version later in the year, yet it’s that version that everybody remembers and gives the most airplay, perhaps owing to the original probably not seeing release beyond mainland Europe. I don’t know if this is the case. |
Similarly, 1982’s Gloria: |
…it’s an English-language cover of an Italian-language song from 1979: |
I’ll admit to being critical of cover versions, especially since they’ve been shovelled onto us in truckloads over the course of the 2000’s, especially by Universal’s All Around The World label, which I now consider synonymous with half-arsed shit these days, but that’s another story. The point is, I’ve come to have a ... |
So what’s the problem, then? Well, let’s return to the original question: How many recognise Branigan’s “Self Control”? |
Okay, now… how many recognise the Raf original? How many even knew that version existed? Anybody? Nope? |
And this is why covers have a tendency to piss me off. People in the US and UK hear the cover, sing its praises, raise it to the top of the charts. The original, nobody knows or cares. It sinks into obscurity outside of its country of origin or perhaps even within that territory as well. Neither label nor artist will m... |
And then when someone stumbles across that little detail after being oblivious to it for so many years, like I keep doing on a very regular basis, they feel like an idiot, or that they’ve been lied to. It’s not really a good feeling to have as often as one has weekends, is it? |
Branigan wasn’t an isolated case either. Another WordPress blog, Classic Collector, blogged about George Benson’s “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You” which originally saw release in 1984 and then got covered in 1987 by Glenn Medeiros, complete with music video. Guess which version gets all the airplay to this day. |
Now that I’ve raised this issue, who’s now looking up their favourites on Wikipedia just in case? |
Oh, Firefox. Where did this downward spiral begin? I’ve sworn by you for many a year, through many a computer. I’ve managed to convince my mum to use you over Internet Explorer. |
These days, though, there are far too many times that I just want to rip your gods-damned tail off and force-feed it to you sideways. |
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