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UCLA or Rose-Hulman	stjarnljuset: I don't know much about Rose-Hulman, but I can give input on UCLA if you like. username at gmail
What tools do you use?	pWneD: TextMate, VIM and Eclipse for editing, Transmit for FTP, Acorn for quick image editing (I'm a really bad designer), Mail.app and SSH.
What tools do you use?	iheartmemcache: Emacs, python-mode.el, ipython.el, org-mode.
What tools do you use?	boyter: Emacs, Git, (SVN occasionally), Paint.NET (if im on windows), and Python.I know you said not languages, but I see Python more as a tool since I can use it to hammer out code to convert data and the like.
What tools do you use?	maxogden: OSX Specific: TextMate, Terminal, DTerm (awesome timesaver), Digital ColorMeter (Pixel measurement, CMD+SHIFT+C FTW)General: Firebug, Dropbox (automatic backups!), Git, Photoshop, Customized .bashrc, .irbrcRuby specific: Sketches (with the default sketches dir symlinked into Dropbox)These are probably 95% of where I spend my time. My workflow is generally: I use Spotlight and Finder to find things and then DTerm to interact with them or launch TextMate. If I want to dink around in Ruby I will go into irb and start a new sketch which will pop up TextMate and away I code.
What tools do you use?	andrewtj: I tend to use Carbon Emacs and Plainview (webkit based browser) in their fullscreen modes when knocking out code. Beyond that, just a small gang of shell scripts and aliases alongside the usual shell tools.
What tools do you use?	theli0nheart: Vim for coding. Mustang is the current color scheme of choice. Plugins I use: * Fuzzy Finder * surround.vim * supertab * NERD Tree Git for version control (at work I use git-svn, don't get me started about subversion). I have aliases for status (s), commit (ci), checkout (co), tag (t), and branch (b).Fabric / rsync for deployment.Sphinx for documentation.IPython for my python shell.Screen for terminal persistence and management.http://github.com/rupa/z for directory navigation. Also, learn how to use your shell. It probably does things you never thought possible.In Snow Leopard, I use X11 to interface with the shell (256 colors yo, makes syntax highlighting SO much nicer).Spotlight for finding things.Firebug and Flash Player Debugger Version.
What tools do you use?	JoelMcCracken: Here is something similar that I posted a while back that got some good responses:http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=937855
What tools do you use?	BoppreH: Flash CS4 for the design parts and Flashdevelop for the code parts. And Notepad++ for the rest (Python, PHP, some HTML). I'm actually undecided between Scite and Notepad++, but I usually prefer the former.Filezilla to upload files to the server, but the constant annoying popups ("a file appears to have changed, would you like to resend it?" and "this file is already open (hint: it's not), would you like to open it again?") are making me think about switching to something else.Starting to use Git too, but I'm afraid of what will happen with the *.fla files (huge binary blobs).I'm stuck with Windows because of Flash.
What tools do you use?	Ixiaus: Emacs[org-mode, gnus, erc, many programming modes], Chrome, Mercurial and/or SVN and/or GIT (in that order!), a few random useful plugins &c...
input on the idea please?	petervandijck: I like this idea too. Mind if I steal it? ;)
What tools do you use?	BoppreH: Does showers count?
Which EU countries are least unfavorable for entrepreneurs?	esjr: Byzantine red-tape, corruption, a legal framework that makes the Talmud look like a minor collection of one-liners, add to that a somewhat xenophobic business environment and an economy that's moribund and you've got the least favorable place to start a business : Greece. (I speak from experience. I'm sure Kafka was Greek.) The easiest, in my experience, is The Netherlands.
What tools do you use?	d0m: I've come to like Textmate and Git a lot recently. Still, I often miss vim :(
What tools do you use?	juliend2: Right now i have these softwares open : Omnigraffle (UML design), Transmit (yes, poor me i need an FTP client), Google Quick Search Box, TinyGrab (Dead simple tool for sending screenshots. highly recommended), MacVim.For versionning i use Git and for Project Management i use my own web app. (soon to be shown here)
What tools do you use?	steveplace: http://searchyc.com/submissions/ask+hn+tools?sort=by_pointsModify the kw's and you can get some good info.
What tools do you use?	lsb: Read-eval-print loops for Javascript & CSS, SQL, Rails, Haskell, etc. Emacs, and infrequently Eclipse. Git, screen+ssh. EC2. Bugzilla.
What tools do you use?	quinto42: - Mac OS X - textmate - instapaper - bpython - Chrome - Linode Servers + S3 - SSH + Screen - Zsh - GitHub - Sequel Pro - Transmit - Things - Ulysees - Google support for ActiveSync for Appointment and Contacts management - MediaTemple
What tools do you use?	locopati: IDEA, svn, TeamCity (continuous integration), Jira (bug tracking), Confluence (info sharing), Basecamp (file sharing - though I wish we had nothing to do with it - it's generally painful)
What tools do you use?	astrec: SSHKeychain and DTerm are two brilliant productivity tools for OS X.
What tools do you use?	aristus: Emacs and screen. Git is very nice. Charles Proxy is wonderful for inspecting HTTP traffic.Pixelmator is very good for quick graphics. It's on par with Photoshop 5 (version 5 from like 1998, not CS-Whatever).
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	ChRoss: I'm also mid 20s, and feel about the same. You should discuss with your girlfriend, what kind of life you two wanted to live. Plan carefully, and don't think too much, it will stress you instead.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	edkennedy: I have felt something similar in the last few months, and have been feeling the repercussions since then. Everything around me in my life was wonderful, in fact it was the best it's ever been. Deeply in love, working at a highly paid highly skilled job, enjoying my free time and continuing to improve my living situation. However, I felt a sincere lack of motivation and my results had started to decline.Recently I have gotten back on track. What assisted me in that process was: 1. Talking about my feelings and listening to the life experience of my partner. This is humbling. You are not alone. 2. Getting back to the gym. This was a huge motivating force, getting your blood pumping makes you feel alive and is the quickest way to get to where you want to be. I also changed my diet (no more coffee, alcohol, junk food). This takes self discipline. 3. Lastly I remembered to have fun. The most stressful times for me was when I forgot to do the things that made me happy. Celebration is another part of being alive.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	travisjeffery: First off -- addressing: "Some people say this is what entering adulthood's like, but everyone around me seems to be perfectly fine." Have you spoken to others publicly in this same manner that you have privately, behind your username? Just because people don't talk about it publicly -- like you didn't; doesn't mean people don't feel the same way.You didn't give any useful information about what you could do; you must have some hobbies or activities that you enjoy doing and one of those must be able to provide you with some money to live off of -- even if it be humbly.In the end you have to make your decisions on what you know now and if need be you can always educate yourself to make a more informed decision.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	floodfx: Try living in the present and not stressing out about the future or past... I recommend you read (or better yet listen to the audio book version) Ekhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". From the Amazon description: "the author describes his transition from despair to self-realization soon after his 29th birthday."
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	thaumaturgy: I've known a lot of people like this -- a lot of them young, and some of them much older. Some people seem to just have a lot of drive and always too many ideas about what they want to do, and others don't have much of any at all. I've never been that way, so I can't really relate.But, I have seen that nobody else can really seem to tell someone how to live, or what to do, or how to be motivated. That part is all up to you; I could say, "go backpacking for a week", because that's what I do to clear my mind and re-focus, but that's something that works for me and probably would have no impact on you.You're looking to everyone around you for some advice that can only come from within yourself. You're the only person that can decide what you want your life to look like.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	swombat: Try this:http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/01/how-to-discover-you...
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	jolie: Most adults go through something like this. You start to realize you're not as successful/confident/responsible/etc. as you thought you'd be by now, and you kinda freak out about it.Losing motivation and feeling lost -- just about everyone I know has been there both personally and professionally at least once in their mid-20s. Seeing a psychologist might be good, but if I could give you a word of advice, I'd just tell you to start expressing bits and pieces of these feelings to others you trust. Chances are, everyone else has dealt with or is dealing with similar issues and will know what to say about your specific situation and personality.I wish you lots of luck in your "striving to be self-actualized," as you put it, and I truly wish you happiness! Being ambitious is tough; the flip side of that coin is never being satisfied. Sounds to me like you have a little bit of both going on.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	vicutoru: im in the same fucking situation dude, and i have no fucking clue what the fuck to do.
What tools do you use?	Rust: Netbeans for code & HTML, Git + GitHub, Filezilla, Basecamp, Freshbooks, GIMP (or Photoshop CS2 on Windows), and occasionally Eclipse for Android dev (not much of that yet, still learning).On specific client projects, I also use Mercurial, SSH and SSHFS.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	locopati: Step away if you can - take a trip, do something unrelated to anything you usually do - give yourself some space to clear your head and maybe you'll see what it is you really want.
What tools do you use?	coderdude: gedit, filezilla, photoshop
What tools do you use?	ghotli: I can't use Windows without VirtuaWin for virtual desktops (two spaces * three monitors == 6 screens), and Switcher for expose on Windows 7. Both of those are mapped to the thumb buttons on my mouse. One thumb button toggles between spaces, the other toggles expose.Three monitors on one space are devoted to fullscreen putty terminals. Each one is running in "screen -x" with 8 terminals opened up mapped to my F1-F8 keys. That's plenty of terminals for this or that. If i need to move what's on one fullscreen'd monitor to the next then I just click on the monitor and press the function key for the given terminal session I want. This lets me move them around without dealing with window positioning.Nearly all code is written with Vim. Plugins include FuzzyFinderTextMate and BufferExplorer plugins mapped to hotkeys. Netbeans is absolutely essential for J2EE apps. Unix and Vim are for everything else.I can explain any of this in further detail if anyone wants my configs.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	3dFlatLander: You may joke about the phrase 'quarter life crisis', but that's what it feels like for me as well. I've found some peace of mind from letting things evolve over time instead of putting my all into a project/goal/relationship/whatever and then becoming frustrated when it doesn't succeed when and how I want it to. Eating well, exercising, and meditating also helped me feel more positive.I hope you get back into the groove soon. Just stick at it, and eventually you'll get there. Hopefully we all will. :)
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	buzzzlight: I have always been in a different boat (I'm 32 now). I always knew precisely what I wanted to do, and knew it would be something nontrivial and...transcendent I suppose is the word. Life always stops me, whether it's work, money or relationships. You may have think of the future, how you want it to be, think of things like solar powered bikes you can ride for free forever, or computers writing their own programs, or imaginative ways of meeting other people whose dreams exceed even your own vast expectations, to find your own path. Maybe those are just things I'm interested in. But I know that the world as it exists right now at this moment is so profoundly underwhelming that it can't be the basis of my own enlightenment. Although HN has sure blown my mind this last year.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	_throw1: Same situation as you, also in my mid-20s. Neuroticism seems to go hand-in-hand with high-IQ, introverted people. Just don't let that potential instability build-up into extreme actions that you might regret later...and perpetuate that vicious cycle of self-critique.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	dotBen: I started to go through this a few years ago and I'm slowly recovering from it (I'm 28 now).The experience cost me my marriage (although that may have been a good thing, looking back on it) but it also cost me a lot in terms of opportunity cost.You could write a book on this subject but my advice in a nutshell is to find a therapist. If you are like me (and most HN'ers) - highly logic brained - then it can be hard to grasp by yourself the mixed emotions you are feeling in sidw. If, like me, you are really only surrounded by loads of other geek logic brained folk, then there can be few people to really talk this stuff through with - which is why I found informal therapy (counseling, not heavy going psychotherapy) useful rather than chatting with friends, etc.I worked with my therapist on getting beyond my logic-orientated rationalization thinking and getting a much better understanding of who I am and what I want.If the original poster wants to drop me an email to chat more, I'd be delighted to talk more.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	grilo: I hope this article can help you.http://artofmanliness.com/2010/04/06/modern-maturity-create-...
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	Groxx: Typically, when I edge down this path, I de-clutter my life. Stuff weighs you down more than anything else, and it's a constant drain on your energy and money. Stop doing things that are unnecessary, get rid of some stuff you don't / won't use, and generally purge your life of everything that really doesn't matter. It'll free up a lot of free time, and likely money-pressure too.Once you've got that, take your new-found free time, and do some experimenting / soul-searching. Odds are you "know" what you want, you just don't "know" it. And if you don't, maybe you'll discover it. Take each day as it comes, and don't re-clutter until you've figured things out.I've also found that music typically helps me a lot, so I make sure to get some frequently. And no, everyone is not handling it "just fine". Everyone struggles at some point, you may just be hitting it earlier / later than those around you. Or they're just hiding it, which is likely more harmful than seeking help, so congratulations. You're already part-way down the correct road.edit: mimicing what edkennedy says, I've also found that decent exercise and good food are very important. Food's extremely responsible for well-being, but it's easy to devalue.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	njl: I've been dealing with what you describe for most of my life, and I've been actively attacking it for the past fifteen years.If I had one thing I could get across to anyone, it's that happiness is a state of mind and a habit, not the result of outside factors. You choose to be happy or unhappy. It's all in your head, although it's a good idea to adjust your environment to ensure happiness. Exercise, happy entertainment, and happy friends all help.I refuse to accept that adulthood is about acknowledging limits and settling into a static and subtlety unsatisfying existence. I believe I only have one life to live, and I refuse to waste it. I want to add value to the world, and I am frothing at the mouth to do so. That's what I believe being an adult is -- accepting responsibility for my own life, acknowledging the values of other's lives, and then doing my best to add as much value to the world as possible.As for your fear of making real decisions about where to live, your uncertainty about what will make you happy... Risk is an essential element of being alive. Very few choices are reversible; you don't have kids. Make some bold choices, make some stupid choices, but be alive. Move somewhere and take a weird job. Try a start up. Take a chance at something, anything. That's what being alive is.Realize that everything ends up working out in the end, give yourself a kick in the ass, and go have a life that fucking matters.Good luck.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	raganwald: Well, if you're feeling depressed, I can only tell you about something that helped me: Dr. Martin Seligman's book "Learned Optimism." I wrote a little about my perspective on it about a year ago:http://github.com/raganwald/homoiconic/blob/master/2009-05-0...I'm sorry that isn't a grand, unified answer to everything, but if it helps you even a little I would be delighted.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	imperator: You have to be careful with something like this because you might be clinically depressed.I developed anxiety and depression when I was in college. Part of that was a feeling I wasn't achieving anything of note, or learning anything worthwhile. I had thought undergraduate education would be a splendid ivory tower, but it turned out most of my peers did not prioritize a sense of adventurous learning or a delight in knowledge. I learned a mismatch between reality and expectations can drive you, but also cripple you if it is to great.I think your decision to see a psychologist is a good one. I saw a psychiatrist and it helped me recover and develop a functioning and enjoyable life. Also, make sure it's a psychologist you work well with. Don't settle for one that you don't work well with.Also, it is difficult to know if a decision will make us happy in advance. We can develop a feeling of knowing in advance, but it's not always there to guide us.A lot of people will say, exercise, go to therapy, take a vacation. The thing to remember is that you are unique and your solutions will be unique. And that you are not alone. We all get lost.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	yummyfajitas: I went through this a couple of years ago. I got out of grad school, and started my postdoc. For the previous 8 years (undergrad + grad school), I had a well defined track: grad school -> PhD -> postdoc -> research professor -> tenure. During my postdoc, I realized I didn't like a great deal of the day to day work of academia: teaching, writing papers, applying for grants, hyping your work. The job I succeeded in getting was not the job I thought it was. I went through the exact stage of uncertainty you are describing.Then I decided to forget about a long term plan and focus on day to day living. I took up Eskrima (Filipino martial arts), something I wanted to do for a long time. I broke up with my long term girlfriend and decided to leave the academic track. I still don't know where I want to live or what I want to be doing (in the long term), but I don't need to know that.Yesterday I went for a run (my first this year). I found a new job (trader at a hedge fund) which I enjoy day to day. Most tuesday nights I fight with sticks. I drink more beer, am in better physical shape and am simply happier. I don't have the answers to your big questions (where to live, what to do), but I don't need answers.So, my suggestion: don't worry about the future, focus on things right now.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	tumblen: Great question and the fact that you are coming here to seek help is a great sign, I'd say.I'm in a different situation: 22, dropped out of school to start a company, etc. But, I have committed myself to developing a satisfying general lifestyle (getting there) so, maybe there are some overlaps.Here are some thoughts:1. In the moments when I feel most stuck and unmotivated it is usually because there is something looming over me that I "have to do."It's taken time, but developing the mindset that I truly do not _have to_ do anything has allowed me actually drop the anxiety and become truly excited about my work.What are your expectations about what you _should be_ doing? Maybe if you ease up on them, you'll find a new wave of motivation along a new path.2. It sounds to me like you, more than anything, need some exploration in your life. But, you are afraid of the risks.My suggestion here is to take time to define clearly what you are afraid of, what the worst case scenarios are and how to sidestep them.Additionally, lighten physical and mental load. Can you and your girlfriend sell the bulk of your stuff, tie down any loose ends and explore the World without making any living commitments for a few months?3. Set small challenges daily (2-3), write them down every morning along with the very specific next action that you need to do to get the ball rolling.When you complete all your challenges, put a big red x on the calendar. With each challenge, you will feel better and better and as the red X's grow, it will be clear how much you've accomplished.(Someone else suggested exercise, that is a great daily challenge.)4. I write ~1600 words daily in MacJournal, just a total brain dump. I don't worry about spelling, grammar or paragraphs I just type. I very rarely go back and read old ones.Somehow, just the act of typing through my thoughts, getting them out and throwing them around has had an incredible impact on my mood, motivation, etc. I feel like my own therapist.5. I think Steve Pavlina's book, Personal Development for Smart People, is one of the most complete and impactful books on improving your lifestyle. In particular, there are some great thoughts on finding your purpose on life. Highly recommended.Again, props to you for grappling with these emotions and talking about them publicly. Keep exploring them with others.Feel free to get in touch with me to discuss more, I'd love to hear how things pan out!
What tools do you use?	mahmud: Emacs, slime, nxml-mode, nhtml-mode, firebug, YSlow, git, putty, PaintDotNet, SOAPUI, NaviCat, Clozure Common Lisp.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	ithayer: I struggled with a something very similar (complete inability to work, not knowing what makes me happy), a few things I learned seem relevant: 1) Don't assume what other people are thinking or feeling (about anything, but in this case, many other people do go through similar things) 2) Happiness and fulfillment has a lot to do with expectations (intrinsic as well as external). Understand what those are and where they come from. 3) Talk to people, read, and if that's not enough, get help (seems like you're doing that). You'll probably learn something about yourself.I can recommend "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns (Stanford), which is about cognitive therapy [also described in other places]. It may not be exactly accurate for your situation, and those types of books may sound silly (I thought so before reading it), but I've found some of the techniques useful.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	pgbovine: (apologies in advance if someone else already mentioned this ... i haven't read any of the replies yet)i would recommend thinking intensely about ways you can serve others (not just your girlfriend or immediate family, but strangers in your community and even beyond). volunteering at local non-profits, hospitals, or other organizations where you can directly impact people's lives might be able to mitigate this quarter-life crisis of yours. and by volunteering, i don't mean volunteering to make a website or install Linux for your local organization ... i mean doing something in person to directly interact with people in a helpful way. if you can selflessly give your time and energy to directly helping others without expecting anything in return, then you might be able to expand your mental horizons and get 'un-stuck' from this local minimum that your current mood is on.
What tools do you use?	teuobk: By function, all (except Emacs) running on Windows: SSH: Putty File transfer: WinSCP, TortoiseSVN Coding: Aptana (Rails), Matlab (Matlab), Eclipse (C++) Text/hex editing: PSPad Server-side file touch-up: Emacs Browser-based debug: Firebug *Image editing: Photoshop, Fireworks
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	neodude: @asym - are you in San Francisco? I've gone (and am still going) through some similar issues. I see you rock climb too, we should hit the gym together sometime and chat face-to-face.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	hesdeadjim: First off, re: the "but everyone around me seems to be perfectly fine" line. Everybody may look fine, but what is going on under the surface might be entirely different. When I was in the darkest depression of my life only a few select people close to me even knew how I was feeling. To the rest of the world I put on a good display of acting happy and motivated, but on the inside I felt directionless and... empty.Anyways, after reading your post and comparing it with my experience I would say you sound depressed. Life seems to have lost meaning, the things that once gave you pleasure no longer do, etc. If you see a psychiatrist they will most likely recommend an anti-depressant. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I take a small dose of Celexa that leaves me feeling no side effects whatsoever and removed the suicidal thoughts and feelings that used to wash over me like a tsunami.However, in my opinion (and let me stress that it is an opinion, I am not a doctor or psychotherapist), drugs alone don't seem to work well. Things didn't change that much for me until I was forced to face my alcohol problem. As a consequence of doing a 12-step program and facing my fears, insecurities, and resentments, I began to find some measure of peace and fulfillment that I had always found lacking. My life began to change, I began to feel a sense of purpose and excitement to life, and my depression eventually lifted completely. I have also discovered a spiritual side of myself that I never expected to find.I'm not sure if that helps at all, but at least know that you aren't alone and that things will get better if you are willing to make changes. Hope the road is easier for you than it was for me!
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	hernan7: It may be depression; it may be a brain tumor... seriously, consult with your physician ASAP.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	nfnaaron: "Or if I do know exactly where I want to live, I'm always terrified that I'll regret the move later."I was almost literally born moving. Dad was in the Army with orders, and they let him/us stay where we were until I was born, then two weeks and go. I moved with my parents a lot in the Western US and Hawaii. The I joined the Navy, saw the world from Virginia to Hawaii to Kenya, and moved duty stations with my first wife a lot in the process.I did all that by the time I was 24, lived in Seattle 15 years then moved to Denver, where I've been another 15 years. I'm in my early 50s now. Besides the moving, I've lived what I think of as four fairly different lives, different friends, jobs, interests, relationships.I say all that partly to acknowledge that I look at moving and changing differently than a lot of people. It's not a big deal to me, and I usually look forward to it. It's difficult for me to understand what it's like to live in one place most of one's life, so my perspective is probably different than yours.All that said, when I look back at how much I've moved and settled comfortably, I think at your age you have more than enough time to move somewhere, decide you don't like it, and move again. And maybe again. Moving at all is something of an existence proof: if it doesn't work out, you can do it again. Nothing needs to be permanent. If you want permanence, it's OK if you don't get it the first time out.I have liked and profited from everywhere I've lived, everyone I've known and everyone I've been. Most types of change are a gift. No choices have to be 100% correct, which is good because they won't be."I have no idea where I want to live, no idea what I want to be doing, no idea where I want to be doing it and no idea what will actually make me happy."Suggestions, tailor as needed. Try stuff. Treat your career as necessary but secondary for awhile, as something to support everything else. Focus on fun things outside of work. Outlandish things. Go skydiving. Go skydiving in a foreign country. Go skydiving naked. (I can enthusiastically recommend all of the last three.)Get yourself into really, really good shape if you aren't already. Become a gym rat. (I recommend Crossfit, sometimes discussed here, but anything that isn't 24 Hour Fitness/Big Box will do.)Learn to fly, models or full sized. Get really good at Bridge. Get good enough at Poker to make a living at it. Form a startup around Poker or Bridge or flying or naked skydiving.Travel as much as possible, short and long trips, with and without your girlfriend.Learn a foreign language, and go live and work where they speak it. Immerse yourself in your favorite instrument. Take up a martial art.Try stuff, lots of stuff. Be like that guy in that Jim Carrey movie and say yes to (almost) everything.Open up to the world, and let the world show you what interests you.Or as my aunt says, rise up, go forth and fake it. You don't have to know that whatever you try next is going to be "it," you just have to try it.When you get to the other end you'll have a lot of cool pictures and stories.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	dschobel: The best antidote I've found to the hamster wheel of achievement for achievement's sake is Eastern philosophy.In particular, Alan Watts has been a revelation for me as he has a really jocular and irreverent view of life which is a great counter-point for super analytical types (like those which inhabit HN) who think everything can be resolved with logic.Watch this short clip from one of his talks and see if it doesn't strike a chord.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoTmNU_5A0PS: Figuring this out in your 20's puts you way ahead of the game.
What tools do you use?	keefe: eclipse, mylyn, git, maven, bash. I do java development about 10 hours a day. I feel there is a oneness in the build/scm/dependencies/source world that has to be understood properly. This doesn't mean that the particular configuration matters so much as the fact that the configuration is consistent and understood. Having total confidence in your build and knowing where to find stuff is a big productivity booster.
What tools do you use?	donw: 1. sshFor those of you who don't know, `man ssh_config` -- you can set per-host and per-network connections in your `~/.ssh/config` file. Perfect when you have different usernames on some hosts, alternate ports, etc.2. git'Nuff said here. Never going back to SVN.3. nkfPretty specific, but a really useful tool if you need to deal with Japanese character sets -- converts pretty much any encoding to any other encoding.4. VMWare Fusion / VMWare WorkstationIf you're going to push code out to a server running on a different OS than your workstation, having a local, virtualized copy of that OS is indispensable.5. pbcopy and pbpasteMove text between the shell and clipboard on OS X. xcopy under Linux has the same functionality.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	blizkreeg: I'm almost 30 now and my 25 yr old self went through this, word for word. If I had to go back and give one piece of advice to that boy, it would be - Relax a little and don't be too harsh on yourself, especially with those expectations. There is _no_ rush. You have much time ahead of you.Quarter-life crisis is more common than you think. While the reasons do not matter much, in my view, high expectations (not bad) and impatience are the culprits. Life is a long journey and learning to navigate the ups and downs is a skill learned only through experience.In many ways, this is what entering adulthood really is about :) You no longer have the structure of school, and as you said yourself, the highs and novelty of grad school, your first job have started to wear off. It happened to me too. You are lucky to have a girlfriend who has known you for long. Don't let this feeling affect a precious relationship, first and foremost. If you have a right-brained friend, a guy, who has known you for a while, talk to him. Male camaraderie & bonding is something different altogether.I hate giving you a list of "things-to-try" but this is what I've learned - "changing things up" is one of the most effective ways of pulling yourself out of this. Your mind needs fresh fuel. It needs to see and experience new things. It is a feedback loop. Your mind will automatically give back to you great motivation, new ideas, and happiness if you feed it with something new. Soon after I turned 26, I backpacked by myself for a bit around Europe. It was one of the most defining and amazing experiences of my life. Take your girlfriend along and go travel a bit if that seems possible. My travel energized me so much that soon after I returned, a new venture idea dawned on me and gave me a strong purpose.It is difficult to find meaning and purpose in modern life. Expectations are high, and we see media-fueled stories of 20-something millionaires all the time. That's a rarity.Most importantly, let life unfold. Life is long (no matter what you hear otherwise). It is a journey. Embrace the uncertainty of what is yet to come. If you stay on your feet, let yourself gravitate towards new experiences, and let them permeate you, the flow will be smoother. Remember that there is no rush. There is no deadline to get to a certain place. There should be no I-must or I-have-tos, especially in this phase. You don't absolutely _have to_ find a strong meaning and purpose to everything just yet. It will come. The 20s are some of the most wonderful years of our lives. Take a few risks, have new experiences, form some amazing memories.You seem like a fairly cheery guy prior to feeling like this. I see what you are feeling as more of a transient phase in the journey of life. It happens to all of us. Everyone. I speak from experience, too. And believe me, when this phase passes, you will have been glad you went through it. It will define the man you become. It will be good =)Good luck!
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	blender: You have what Sally Hogshead calls "Tourist Indecision": Anxiety resulting from a sense of being lost or proceeding without clear direction.Basically indecision causes stress.Ever taken a Myers-Briggs personality test? I'm a big believer in it.Check out "What's Your Type of Career?":http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Your-Type-Career-Personality/dp/...Reading that book was a real eye opener for me. It was like someone was reading my thoughts. This book will help you determine what kind of environment you thrive in.Cheers
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	rphlx: Mid 20s extroverts appear to punt these kinds of concerns by drinking and sleeping around shamelessly. I'm still investigating if that really works.
What tools do you use?	safetytrick: ssh vim bpython textmate weave firebugweave is awesome especially if you have more than one computer you use regularlybpython is fantastic for exploring unknown api'sthe rest are... ya know, awesome
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	3eye: Try Ayahuasca. Its legal 100%, you can get components on ebay.com. Motivation guaranteed.Watch The Blueprint by Real Social Dynamics - how to get girls.Listen to some good trance music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkITM2UIYoURead Tim Ferris book "Four Hour Work Week"
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	bballant: There are a lot of good suggestions here.Reading religion and philosophy definitely helps. A good way to get into that is to find a writer you like (can be anyone) then find out who their influences were. I've enjoyed reading Joseph Campbell and Alan Watts.Exercise is a great thing as well. It's surprising to me how extremely positive a force daily exercise is in my life.Writing, therapy... all really good things to consider. You have to find what's right for you. That's a hard thing to do when you're in a slump.You need a challenge or, even better, a challenging journey. Have you traveled seriously or lived in another country? If not, do it. Go with your fiance, spend at least a year in a foreign place.Good luck.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	S_A_P: I pretty much felt lost until my late 20s. I finished college and worked at a few large companies, doing mostly unrewarding work and not really challenging myself. By age 30 I felt I was at an impasse, and needed to either apply myself or drift along from job to job. I think the final tipping point was the arrival of my first son. The combination of wanting to do better and provide for my son was a powerful one. I ended up losing 50 pounds, getting back to my highschool weight, and working on projects that interest me. That was almost 4 years ago, and can say that Im as happy as I have ever been. For me, exercise and enough sleep are crucial, I can get depressed and demoralized without both of them. I dont know that this will help you, but it worked for me.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	rlt: If it helps, you're definitely not alone.I'm 25. By all accounts my life is pretty good. I've got a fairly promising startup going. And yet I feel like I haven't matured at all since midway through college. I don't feel like I imagined I would at 25.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	figured: "I am going to make an appointment with a psychologist"Make the appointment tomorrow morning! The people here not advocating seeking professional help, are the same people who have never received help. Trust me, seeing a psychologist is the single best thing you can do. If you had a physical illness, this type of question would not even be asked, mental health problems are just as serious and should be treated that way.Also if it doesn't work out with the first psychologist, don't get discouraged. Just make another appointment, and find one that fits your style. Dude, lots of people have been in your position, but the ones that are happy today are the ones who treated it as seriously as they treat all other aspects of their health.Good luck,Edit: as much as it is good to talk about this with friends and family, they really don't have the tools to help you overcome this. People think you just need to cheer up, or pat you on the back. Happiness is journey, for some its easy and for some it takes time and effort.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	stretchwithme: Maintain commitments to others that place demands upon you on a regular basis.One strives to simplify, to avoid conflict and to eliminate dependencies and if successful, we can create a bubble we live in where we don't have to do anything or satisfy anyone but ourselves.But we are not wired to live that way!Just as a muscle shrinks and weakens without demands, our brains shrivel up too!
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	blizkreeg: >> Some people say this is what entering adulthood's like, but everyone around me seems to be perfectly fine.Your foray into adulthood does not have to be like everyone else's and around the same time. Some of your friends may mature and go through this later in life. Some will face a stronger mid-life crisis, having never gone through something like this.Here's the transition all males have to make, at one point or another in their life. Boy => Guy => Man.What you feel now will certainly pass, and you will be all the more stronger, and a man with purpose because of these (20s) formative experiences.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	cominatchu: I highly recommend The Art of Happiness by Cutler.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	groaner: Are you me? I was actually going to post this question myself sometime this week! For the moment, let's say that you've just contributed something valuable to the community that I really wanted to see. I'm still reading through the responses, but I want to take this opportunity to thank you for this right now.It takes guts to take the first step and seek help. I'm still trying to muster up the courage myself.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	projectileboy: It's hard to be happy if you haven't defined happiness for yourself. I once took the time to explicitly write out my values and their relative priorities, and now every time I think about major decisions in my life I have a meaningful frame of reference.
What tools do you use?	AndrewO: Things I couldn't live without (or at least would push back on if pressured to use something different):git (GitX for viewing), TextMate (AckMate bundle for searching w/in a project), Basecamp, Chrome (any WebKit or Gecko browser will do though), two Fluid SSBs for personal and business Gmail, Homebrew for Mac package management, Hex Fiend for looking at/searching through raw files (priceless for diagnosing character set issues).I'm using Sequel Pro, but I've found it a bit unstable and would love to see something better.I just discovered Path Finder, a finder replacement that looks like it fixes my common gripes. I'll probably end up buying it when the demo expires.Lastly, one I haven't used in awhile and is a little project specific is Prince for HTML->PDF conversion using CSS3 Print Profiles (and this was back when it looked like CSS3 would never happen). Here's a rundown: http://tomayko.com/writings/princexml
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	froo: Go see your doctor. You can confide in him/her and never underestimate the wonders of pharmaceuticals.I became severely depressed as a result of a combination of things. Studying 2 degrees at once was fine, however in the last 2 years of my university work my father died from heart attack and my brother committed suicide shortly after.I'm pretty sure I had a breakdown at one point, there is about 8 months of my life I don't remember living.Anyway, I spoke to my doctor, he put me on Prozac which I've been on ever since. Magic stuff.That combined with taking care of myself both physically and emotionally has kept me going.Also, I found that it is true, talking to friends about your troubles does help. You might be too proud to do so, but trust me, the alternative is far worse.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	NEPatriot: Read the War of Art by Stephen Pressman. He puts a name to this beast and calls it resistance. Most of us have gone through it. He openly discusses it and talks about the battles against it.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	johnnyg: I'm 28, own successful businesses and have plowed this ground. These aren't going to be standard answers, but its what has helped me. YMMV.1. Get in a situation where you can balls out fight. I prefer jiu-jitsu but did TKD for a while too. We live in a controlled, over analyzed society. You talked about going to a shrink. That's valid but consider the alternative - you are so controlled and repressed that what you need is to get on the mat with someone else and just struggle/wrestle/fight. You'll know inside 1 minute if this is what was lacking. If its wrong, you are bruised but only out a free class.2. Plant roots, literally. I live in suburbia. A little "grow your own veggie by the window" kit was more depressing than fulfilling. I'm not sure what it was, but something inside me snapped. One too many fake plastic meals out perhaps. I bought $1000 worth of dirt and had it dropped on my driveway. I went to home depot and with the help of my lovely wife, measured out and bought wood and stakes. I worked all weekend outside, in the sun, in the rain, hauling dirt, figuring out how to plant stuff without killing it (mixed initial results). It was a lot of time to think. It was also hard and frankly, it was very nice to sit back down to work on redmine tickets. Best of all, a whole garden sprouted up and we had food for weeks that WE grew. Since then, my backyard has become a huge orchard as well as a home owners association show down in the making. It makes me feel connected to life and growth. It makes me feel like I stake my rugged individualist claim. Likely its more me playing in the dirt in the back yard, but it settles me down and centers me.3. Catholic mass. I was raised Baptist and am now agnostic. As a kid, I attended three churches destroyed by infighting and backstabbing. I'm not really thrilled with Christianity, or at least Jesus's current merry band of salesmen. None the less, go sit in a Catholic mass once a month on a random week night. Its great. So peaceful. It gets you out of your shell. Best part, no baptist style "welcome the guests" stuff at most masses. Just a bunch of people running through the ancient traditions and singing nicely. I would advise you pass on the free bread and wine though, in case it turns out its all true.4. Your Relationships. Are they solid? Are they long term oriented? I'm not sure if its a skill or a choice or what, but everyone I know that's happy is a long term relationship builder.My sincere best wishes to you. Push on!
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	rjurney: Travel. Leave the country for a good long while. Go to India. Go to Russia. Go to Africa. Go to the middle east. Go to asia. Save $5K and live on $3 a day for a while. There's a long list of cheap countries where you can just hang out. Pick the one that interests you, and start there.Nothing gives you perspective and connects you with real life than... real life, as most of humanity lives it. Get out there and spend six months or a year just floating. I think you'll find that eventually you see the point of things back home, that you'll remember what is important to you.And when you come back, everything will be new, and you'll be you.That, or get yourself some Paxil.
What tools do you use?	huwshimi: I am primarily a designer/interface developer (I moonlight as a Django coder). I use:Inkscape for design.Gedit for coding (+ a couple of plugins... I like my IDE to be as simple as possible).Verb for project management (http://verbapp.com/, of course :).Ubuntu for my OS.Subversion (I know, I'm oldschool) + RabbitVCS.That covers my usual workflow, but there's a healthy dose of things like SSH, GIMP, a horde of different browsers, Firebug, IETester, FileZilla and whatever else when I need it.
input on the idea please?	apsurd: I think this is definitely an area worthy of taking on, but like another comment said, be prepared for it to take years to mature.I've thought about this problem a bit as well mainly from the position of "you don't know what you don't know". This has always bothered me in terms of self-motivated learning. Google has changed the world by enabling people to learn almost anything online. There still exists a problem though in not knowing what search terms to enter into google? If I don't know anything about sql and database normalization how am I supposed to use google to find what it is I don't know?My thinking led to a service somewhat like yours. A kind of collaboratively curated "basecamp" for certain topics. I would suggest concentrating on one specific area of knowledge like "computer science". So for example there would be vague things like "Overview of the internet" which would branch off into what a web app is, html, css, browsers, protocols, what a database is, what is mysql , and eventually "database normalization" etc. I think its useful to create properly formed structures of information. That way when you navigate the information you can navigate back up the tree if you need more prerequisite knowledge and then go further down into specifics once you understand your node. I also like the idea of a an overview "glossary". Don't you think that every discipline has its own language? It's own lexicon of slang and sayings. Even here in hacker news: PG, ASK HN, ror, a/b, seo, CS, machine learning, GAE. I have to be honest here and say that when I first came to HN I didn't think much of it at all because the front page looked like a foreign language to me. "I don't get it" I would think. That's because I was unfamiliar with the language and terms. So I think something as simple as a glossary would make things a lot easier for some people. Database: mysql, normalization, key value store, index, foreign key, tables, rows, locking, read, write, etc. If nothing else it would act as a starting point to start a google search party.Yes a lofty goal indeed but I think it would be very impactful.edit:A lot of people would point to Wikipedia to solve this problem but as I'm sure you've figured out, wiki functions as a database of nuggets of information that possibly link to one another. I'd argue that hierarchal structured information (or what you might call a guided lesson plan) would be a lot better in terms of actually learning the material. Also I imagine a world in which these lesson plans were curated by people who have "been there before". I can't tell you how many times I have studied something in a book, looked it up online, tested it out for myself, spent 2 more weeks thinking about it and perfecting it, AND THEN sometime down the line later, some guy somewhere mentions the same lesson i learned in a 5 minute conversation. He literally tells me everything i know in 5 minutes, because he's been there before. And I could probably do the same for other people regarding my own domain knowledge. Need to know how to print t shirts? I guarantee you I can give you a crash course in an hour that will save you months of trial and error.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	gcheong: One book that I have gotten help from recently is "The Happiness Trap" by Dr. Russ Harris. (www.thehappinesstrap.com). It is a basic introduction to a recent form of cognitive behavioral therapy based on mindfulness called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The main difference between this and regular cognitive behavioral therapy is the idea that instead of trying to change your thoughts, you change the way that you engage with them and by doing that you can get away from the constant struggle with them.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	lionhearted: When I get into a funk, I travel. It always snaps me out of it.How much are you spending per month, in what country? Because it's actually cheaper, including airfare, to live for a couple months in somewhere inexpensive. You can live an extremely nice in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand for between $150 and $500 per month. It's $5 a night for a crummy room, $10 for a pretty nice room, $1 per meal for decent local food, $2 or $3 for higher end Thai food or Western food. Massage $5 to $10. Fairly cheap to go swimming, free to visit temples, short taxi ride $1. $20 for the weekly Thai boxing match if you're into it.I spent three weeks in Chiang Mai, and think I spent $500 all-in. That's $200 for my room, maybe $10/day for food and tea is another $200 (was having lots of really nice tea and lots of fruit shakes, the actual meals and snacks weren't expensive, a bag of roasted peanuts is like 20 cents for instance), then maybe $100 for a few taxi rides, a boxing match, and a few massages.Traveling breaks me out of a funk, helps me get a perspective. It's good because just being in another culture I feel like I'm "doing something" - learning some of the language and customs, constantly doing math for conversions on the currency, and so on. It carries pretty well into work and is good for getting inspiration to do more creative/speculative work that's not on a deadline or straightforward.Most inspirational places I've been, not in order - Tokyo, the rest of Kansai, Taipei, Barcelona, Amsterdam (if you like art or a party scene, and can handle bad weather), London, New York, San Francisco, the more remote provinces of China, Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand, Dubai, Toronto, Florence, Southern France. Some of those are cheaper than others. If I had a gun to my head and absolutely had to get something creative done in the next 30 days that was important, I'd head to Barcelona or Taipei I think.Different places appeal to different people, but hitting the road's frequently been the answer for me when I've been confused. I usually buy a one way ticket and just work my way around a part of the world, taking trains and boats whenever I can instead of flying, eating where local people eat, trying to stay away from tourist areas, getting into nature or the local art/culture, making friends, and so on. But the best part of all is you can actually save money while doing it if you don't mind slumming it, eating cheap, living somewhere not nice - I'm fairly simple, so I wind up spending less money when I'm in most places than I would've spent living in New York, Boston, Los Angeles, or London, which are the main cities I've hung my hat over the last five years. If you're somewhere a bit expensive, it's pretty cool to save money by subletting or ending your lease, and then spending a lot less somewhere else. Feel free to drop an email or post here if you've got questions - I recommend kayak.com for flights, and hostelworld if you're looking for cheap accommodation. Get a private room if you can afford it though, it's bloody miserable when you've got people who are drunk/sick/coughing/oblivious in a dorm room with you, but hey, I did plenty of that when I was younger, and you'll still survive...Edit: I'll also second the recommodations for cleaning up a diet, exercise, and martial arts, all of which are good. Inspirational books are good too - I just finished "Open", Andre Aggassi's autobiography, which was pretty incredible and highly recommend. Easy, very exciting reading.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	nlwhittemore: I think the advice you're getting here is great, but I'd for sure add a big validation of therapy, and should it be right, medication.Therapy is one of those things that, if you find the right therapist, sort of becomes like "why WOULDN'T I have a professional to help with this?" I saw someone in Chicago on and off for about three years post college to help with transitions.I'm an extremely self-reliant person who doesn't ask for help, so it was a weird thing at first, but it became something I ended up really looking forward to. It was a place where, each week, I could dump anything and everything without any pretense, exchange, or fear of judgement. Your friends and family can and will always be willing to help, but frankly, it can put a lot of burden on those relationships to have it all on them, and I've found therapy to be extremely helpful.I've also seen an extraordinarily high number of people successfully add medication to their regimen to really help. For some, anti-anxieties that can be used when needed make a world of difference. For others, SSIRs can really help with certain transitions. For still others, SSIRs and similar drugs are just something that become a permanent part of their life - my dad is like that and the whole family has been reaping the rewards of him "feeling like himself" again for ten years.Honestly, it sounds like you are a super high functioning dude, and that's great. All I'd remind you is that just because you're high functioning and still able to keep moving, doesn't mean you don't want to leverage the full slate of available resources.Always happy to talk about my experiences with therapy/meds. Info in profile.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	cesart: My mentor, who's a wildly successful and brilliant entrepreneur and about twice my age said this to me today: your 20s are like Puberty 2.0. We had a two hour conversation and he's seen the same thing in his nephews and his students and former students (he was a b-school prof for a while before retiring).My biggest problem seems trying to find what excites and motivates me and not feeling apathetic about all this web shit. I'm workin' on it.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	holdenc: This happens to me sometimes, and my personal solution is: 1) Sit in a comfortable chair 2) Put on a nice pair of Bose headphones 3) Blast Kanye West. If that doesn't work, blast Glenn Gould. (Music and art are the cure for a bleak world.)
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	csmeder: >"I have lost the ability to tell if and what I want anything from life."Read Robert A. Johnson's http://www.amazon.com/Transformation-Understanding-Levels-Ma...From the Amazon.com description: "Using quintessential figures from classical literature--Don Quixote, Hamlet, and Faust--Robert Johnson shows us three clearly defined stages of consciousness development. He demonstrates how the true work of maturity is to grow through these levels to the self-realized state of completion and harmony.In Johnson's view, we all reach the stages depicted by Don Quixote, Hamlet, and Faust at various times of our lives. The three represent levels of consciousness within us, each vying for dominance. Don Quixote portrays the innocent child, while Hamlet stands for our self-conscious need to act and feel in control though we have no real connection to our inner selves. Faust embodies the master of the true self, who has gained awareness by working through the stages."Then read http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/...The coolest thing about being at this point in life is that: the greatest texts human kind has produced actually make sense now. The bad part is that it can be a lonely place to be: to realize everything everyone else seems to care about obviously doesn't matter (on the grand scheme of things). Being the only person you know that sees this can be hard. But if you make it to self actualization it supposedly is very much worth the negative your feeling now.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	xenophanes: > Some people say this is what entering adulthood's like, but everyone around me seems to be perfectly fine.Are you broadcasting not being fine to anyone but your closest friends? No? Then it means nothing that they aren't either.Anyway, learn philosophy. You're asking philosophical questions. Most philosophy is bad and makes no sense. However, good philosophy is very useful. See Karl Popper. And you might try www.fallibleideas.com
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	neilk: As for your concern that other people "seem fine"; how many people in your life know how badly you're hurting? I bet you're doing a good job of keeping up appearances. Well, so are a lot of other people. So, of your worries, you can eliminate the one where you're worried that you're alone or self-indulgent or otherwise unusual.I wish I had some concrete advice for you. A psychologist may be able to help, but don't fall into the trap of focusing too much on how you feel. You have to also focus on who you are. At the very least, it sounds like you don't quite know yourself.I am interested by the fact that you have a block about trying new things, when it's the one thing you should be doing to figure out where your talents should be applied. Perhaps you should talk that over with a psychologist.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	yeeyay: I am paraphrasing what a wise man has said,the best way to get into a depression is to constantly think about "me,me and me" AND the best way to snap out of it is to start thinking about others, how can I help others.
What tools do you use?	eelinow: Komodo Edit with Emacs BindingsOS X on an 8 Core Mac Pro with 4 Displays (24/24/23/7)Mercurial for my DVCSrsync scripts for deployment managementssh with keypair access only to the devl & prod. servers.Chrome (any webkit browser for primary use, plus Gecko for secondary)Skype for long distance collaborationEtherpad for long distance code sharingVirtual Box with Ubuntu 9.10 and FreeBSD 7FreeBSD 7.x for dedicated servers (always BSD)Python, Groovy, C, Ruby, Perl, Java, etc. (right tool for the job)Navicat 7.x for MySQL front end.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	lotharbot: A lot of people have posted good advice about motivation. Rather than duplicate that, let me give some alternate/additional thoughts:1) Pay attention to your diet. Make sure you're getting enough water, and make sure you eat enough veggies and get enough protein and calories overall. Screwed up body chemistry can make you feel unmotivated and disconnected. Carry a water bottle (I've got a nice quart-sized stainless steel bottle) and make sure you drink several full bottles a day.2) Pay attention to your sleep schedule, as well as your sleep quality. Getting not-quite-enough sleep of not-quite-good-enough quality can leave you just a bit lethargic, or over time build up to major apathy.3) Get a physical as well as a psych evaluation. Don't settle for one or the other. There are lots of little conditions that can drag you down and leave you with vague emotional weirdnesses. If the docs find something awry, get it treated, and don't be afraid to go back and ask for changes if the treatment doesn't work; sometimes certain meds just don't work right for certain people.4) Keep exercising. Sounds like you do some rock climbing; don't give it up without replacing it with something else challenging.OK, so with all that physical stuff in mind -- getting your body right so it's not a drag on your brain -- you might still have a problem. In large part, "this is what entering adulthood's like", but there are still some things you can do to smooth the transition:A) Have a good, long, serious heart-to-heart with your significant other. Be totally honest with yourself and her. You might find some lingering resentment over something you had written off as insignificant, and that can affect your overall mood.B) Remember that the decisions you make now aren't necessarily permanent. You can change jobs or careers; you can load up the moving truck and head elsewhere; you can start or end various extracurriculars (others have suggested gardening, martial arts, etc.) Don't be afraid to just try something and revisit it a year down the road (and set yourself up for it -- rent, don't buy, or as lionhearted suggested, travel somewhere cheap and spend a couple months there.)C) Pay attention to the things that make you happy. Elsewhere on HN I saw a suggestion to make happyfile.txt on your computer and write down things that make you happy each day. My sister carries a paper notebook and does the same. Remember, anything that makes you happy goes in the Happy Book -- something a friend says, time spent writing or reading, minor or major accomplishments, religious pursuits, tasty meals, enjoyable HN posts. The mere act of writing the things down means you think more about them, and over time you may notice patterns and find you really want to make some specific change in your life.For the record, I was 28 and had a pregnant wife when I finally realized the thing I wanted to do most was to be a stay-at-home dad. I didn't keep a "happy book", but I did pay attention to the amount of joy I derived from working with kids and thinking about family.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	rs: Remember, you're not alone - it is something like a quarter life crisis, and I did (still going?) go through it for the past couple of years, and here's what I did to solve my problem:1. Pick up a hobby that can really consumes your focus - I've started doing some photography (I'm horrible at it, but learning)2. Travel - see places and meet people. I know a person who went through something similar (but in his 30s) and went backpacking for 6 months in Australia. You might not want to go to that extent, but even a shot break away from everything does help (I recommend a beach resort, but YMMV)3. Reconnect with old friends (college, high school) - always a laugh, but more importantly, might open up doors (work and non-work related) that might have been shut a while back.One thing I've observed is that while most people look fine, some of them are going through what you're experiencing, but don't really show it. Remember, you're not alone.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	iambvk: My situation was also something similar, but not quiet the same. I live in India with relatively simpler life style, and had a high paying job, but I always felt something was lacking in my life and was not happy (i don't think i felt depressed.) What I did was:I quit the job and went back to my college and asked my professor to let me stay in the college for some time. I had some savings that i can live by for an year or two (with my simple life style.)With all the free time I got, was finally able to contribute to an interesting free software project, that matched with my skill set. This made me feel a lot good, my stay enjoyable and busy.At the same time, i started attending interesting courses in the college (for free), learning new stuff, have technical discussions with students, etc. I am also taking care of my health and fitness in a much better way. Its been just 5-6 months and I feel a lot energetic and useful now.I don't know how long i could stay like this; I don't know how far i can stay unmarried (remember, i am an Indian and 29). I have absolutely no idea what future holds, but am having fun right now :)
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	ddemchuk: I am in the same boat, have been for about two years now. The thing that has worked briefly for me but I haven't been able to stick you yet (I plan on doing it, eventually) is to tire yourself out every day.You sound like me, where we think too much, never finish projects because of new ideas, and am always falling short. You're trapped in your own head. You need to go exhaust yourself every day, physically. Go run, not just a jog, go fucking sprint until you're barely able to breath. Lift weights as hard as you can. Run some stairs. Get tired.Also, do those things outside. Go sweat everyday. Just sit in the sun if you have to. Remind yourself that there's an actual world behind your monitor.I sleep terribly, night terrors a lot, wake up screaming, scare the hell out of my girlfriend, bad news stuff. When I exercise hard during the day though, I sleep like a baby. Just food for thought.Keep a journal, write down all new ideas, and put them away. Review it every few days, and only then decide if it's really something you want to pursue.Try blogging. I just started again, it feels good to have readers, to think about how to teach people what I know, to PARTICIPATE in the world and give back, even if it's techie niche stuff.In regards to psychologists, I haven't decided if they help me or not yet. I found myself in a situation one day where I realised that my therapist worked off of and knew only what I decided to tell her. I had complete control over the situation. That can be a dangerous realisation; I haven't been back.I'm broke, if I wasn't, I'd go travel. To somewhere very remote. And just sit outside. Probably Ireland or Switzerland. Just sit on a grassy hill and look at nothing in particular until I knew what I wanted.Until then, just go run your ass off and get tired. You'll sleep a lot better. Your body will thank you too.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	smachimo: I am mostly an on-looker during these discussions, however I had somewhat of a similar situation myself awhile back. I've ran a company for several years now, and although I am still in my early 20s, I hit somewhat of a similar hurdle. At the time, nothing seemed to really interest me within my everyday life, but along came something that would change my entire life thereafter - KITESURFING.One of the common quirks of a kitesurfer is their passion and "stoke" for the sport. And today, I would probably be that same kiter, setting up at the local spot grinning like an idiot just waiting to get out on the water or snow. My life took a complete 180 when it came to what I thought was important in life - going from always concerned about work and the future to just living in the moment and enjoying myself now. I literally plan my weeks around the wind forecast now, but as far as right now, I wouldn't want it any other way. I understand that my attitude might be a typical phase coming from a young guy, however, the fellow kiters that I've met over the years who are all 40+ usually share this same attitude and most of them couldn't be happier. Today, this entire experience has taught just to do things that I enjoy and not worry so much. Although somewhat hippyish, it does not mean you can't be successful and live like this - I still have strong ambitions to get my startups off the ground among other things - I just sneak out when the wind picks up :)Kiting will never be the right sport for anyone and maybe not the answer to your situation. But if anything else, I would recommend you figure out your safe-zone, define it, and than, take a step outside it just to see what happens. And even if that first step doesn't change your situation, it will at least provide the grit to take another. I would recommend kitesurfing being your first step, but that might be a bit biased :PAnd I guess that concludes my first post on HN. Hope it helped!Dominic
What tools do you use?	rs: IntelliJ IDEA for almost everything (web, desktop, server-side development in Python, Java, Ruby, Scala), except for the quick file edit here and there I use vimFor deployment, ssh+maven.Version control: git and svn (slowly moving everything to git)Project tracking: xp-dev.com (I run it!)
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	herdrick: Sounds like a pretty typical case of depression. Take it seriously, it's not just "feeling down" or something, it's a serious problem. Luckily it's treatable with meds.However, I'd try some of the other ideas seen here first. Especially intense exercise. That's a powerful antidepressent.Good luck my fellow HNer!
What tools do you use?	mkramlich: vim, ssh, *sh scripting & Unix tools in general, rsync, git, GitHub, Basecamp, python, web.py, sqlite3, Apache, Firebug, DropBox, Mac dev & Linux prod (mostly), Linode or EC2 for hosting. also Gimp, Grab, Skype, Gmail... these are the tools I'm not uncomfortable admitting in public to using.however, i'm pretty much also forced to deal with PHP (yuck) and SVN (bleh) due to legacy issues, though hoping to convert the masses of unbelievers eventually
What tools do you use?	rksprst: Pivotal Tracker for project management. PBWorks wiki for organizing our information, collaboration. Google Apps for email. Dropbox to share files, backup. Google Voice for phone (love the forwarding). Chrome as a browser(just stopped using Firefox/Firebug... too many crashes). We also use Zendesk to manage tickets, provide customer support and a knowledge base. Google talk for chat.Visual Studio, SQL Server Management Studio for development. Notepad++ for other random text files I want to open. Git for source control. Hosting on Amazon EC2. Fireworks CS4 for design.
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	c00p3r: http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Daniel-Goleman/
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	niels_olson: Lots of good comments. Some consistent themes:1) physical labor (gardening, kitesurfing, etc): provides endorphins you're not going to get from a desk, and Vitamin D from the sunshine. Both are needed for a stable mood.2) Socialization (mass, relationships, travel): plus-minus. Without some retooling of your thought patterns, more talking with the same people isn't necessarily going to help. Regarding travel, I wonder if there is an element of physical labor and sunshine in that as well.3) therapy: the standard for depression is cognitive-behavioral therapy, which has two main components: a) identifying problems and making concrete progress on resolving them b) re-tooling your automatic thoughts: "If A then B". Andy Thompson, a U of Virginia psychiatrist has a very provocative theory making the rounds, which I'm somewhat partial too: the analytic rumination hypothesis. Fits in well with the effectiveness of the first part of CBT. (http://andersonthomson.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Andrew...)4) meds: he SSRIs appear to be not so helpful for mild-to-moderate depression (http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/303/1/47). Different story for major depression. If you don't remember 8 months of your life, then Prozac may well be for you. Regarding Omega-3 fatty acids: yeah, they raise your HDL a little bit, and maybe they're ok for maintaining optimal complex fats for the nervous system (myelin, etc), but few Americans have any problem with adequate fat intake :-)Finally, I'm starting to wonder if depressive tendencies are a recurring theme in the HN population in particular. Certainly negative thinkers are well positioned to identify new problems early and work on fixing them. How would one test this hypothesis?
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	gsk: A friend of mine who may identify with your situation recently quit his job and has gone to volunteer full-time to help recreate a forest in the Pondicherry, India (Sadhana forest). Cliché but absolutely true: The world is a big and exciting place. Look out to immerse yourself in something completely new. Don't worry too much about the choices. Pick the first sensible choice (use stochastic efficiency).
Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)	KevBurnsJr: A family friend committed suicide on Saturday.Admittedly I'm not in a position to fully empathize with her plight, but I'm pretty sure it was a poor solution.
What tools do you use?	atambo: sublime text, linode, filezilla, msysgit, 5pmweb, firefox + firebug, firefox + sqlite manager, console2 + powershell

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