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These are wonderful cat puddles!
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ef49r2
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7268ee7aaf04a204
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{"demographics": {"age group": "24-25 years old", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Social justice issues, particularly racial discrimination and microaggressions in workplace settings", "Pet appreciation, especially dogs and cats, with enthusiastic engagement in pet photo threads", "Pop culture references including Beyonce, Game of Thrones, Get Out, and Key and Peele sketches", "Interpersonal conflict resolution and ethical dilemmas in AITA contexts", "LGBTQ+ rights and transgender issues, as shown in defending trans boyfriend scenario", "Addiction recovery and personal growth narratives", "Workplace dynamics and professional relationships", "Humor and wordplay, particularly in casual contexts like 'Every Hole Sucks' joke", "Critical analysis of social situations and power dynamics", "Northern vs Southern cultural differences and regional racism patterns", "Wedding etiquette and family dynamics", "Animal behavior and pet personalities with detailed observational commentary"], "values": ["Fairness and equal treatment, questioning why trans boyfriend was excluded from wedding invitation after being invited to coffee", "Standing up against discrimination while acknowledging complexity, as in 'There's always another side to the story'", "Critical thinking and skepticism, responding 'So report it' to claims of fake stories", "Nuanced understanding of racism, engaging with concepts like 'Well Meaning Northern Racism'", "Respect for personal narratives and lived experiences in discrimination contexts", "Appreciation for authenticity and directness in communication", "Humor as a tool for connection and lightening mood, especially around pets", "Logical reasoning and evidence-based analysis in conflict situations", "Empathy balanced with objectivity, noting 'the humiliation you felt in the moment is coloring the way you tell the story'", "Recognition of historical context, noting 'Beyonce was also the old \"I voted for Obama!\" She's been famous for a long time'", "Appreciation for animal companionship and joy pets bring to people", "Accountability and calling out inconsistent behavior in others"], "communication": ["Concise and direct responses, ranging from brief two-word replies like 'So report it' to moderate analytical paragraphs", "Analytical and questioning approach, frequently using rhetorical questions to highlight logical inconsistencies", "Clear, grammatically correct writing with good sentence structure and punctuation", "Humor integrated naturally, as in 'Every Hole Sucks - It still kind of works' acronym joke", "Enthusiastic and affectionate language when discussing pets, using phrases like 'satisfyingly happy boy' and 'wonderful cat puddles'", "Balanced perspective-taking, acknowledging 'I have no reason to believe you're purposely omitting details'", "Specific and detailed observations rather than vague generalizations", "Casual but articulate tone that adapts to context, from serious analysis to playful pet commentary", "Use of direct quotes and references to support points", "Measured and thoughtful rather than reactive or emotional responses", "Creative descriptive language for pets like '90% adorable and 10% terrifying' and 'one of the 20 most charismatic dogs'", "Straightforward acknowledgment of actions, stating 'Nope. I did the same thing' when relating to others"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 2 words minimum ('So report it') to approximately 45 words maximum", "Average response length approximately 15-20 words across all contexts", "Frequent use of questions to prompt reflection or highlight inconsistencies", "Common phrases include 'another side to the story', references to perspective and bias", "Pet-related responses tend to be more enthusiastic and descriptive than analytical responses", "Sentence structure alternates between simple declarative statements and complex analytical sentences", "Uses specific numerical references for emphasis ('90% adorable and 10% terrifying', 'one of the 20 most charismatic dogs')", "Employs both formal analytical language and casual conversational tone depending on context", "Minimal use of exclamation points except in pet-related enthusiasm", "Consistent engagement across different types of posts from serious social issues to lighthearted pet threads"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for gifting my sister pictures of my dog?\n\nI'm a bit of a jackass I will admit, but hear me out. So today I was at my parent's house to celebrate Christmas Eve with my side of the family (as this year I will be spending Christmas with my girlfriend's this year). Anyways, we opened presents up early this morning. Something I should note about my sister is that she LOVES her children. Which is great and I do love my nephews, but every year she gets me magnets, pictures, blankets and pretty much anything she can plaster her kids on. \n\nWhile it's nice, I don't have a shrine at my house dedicated to them and I know this might sound selfish, but I don't really want them as I don't know what to do with them. They end up in a drawer or something, cause one year she got me a large tapestry thing with her kids on it, and it was HUGE. Obviously I didn't want to hang it up as it quite literally covered the entire wall. I never say anything to her as I don't want to offend her and ruin Christmas.\n\nSo that's when I had the genius idea of doing the same thing but with my dog. I put him in a little tie, took his picture and put it in a frame. I love my dog as my child, so I figured I'd gift it to my sister. (I also got her a $25 Starbucks card as she's obsessed with them and I wasn't trying to be petty). Anyways, she opens it up and her face drops. Then she goes to me and says, \"what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?\" Without a thought I said, \"same thing I do with yours, it'll look good on your coffee table\". \n\nLong story short, she got mad, my family is pretty much on my side expect for a couple of people who thought it was funny but in the end \"dogs aren't comparable to humans\". Which I don't necessarily agree with and wasn't the point of the gift, but whatever, I thought it was funny, but I need unbiased opinons, AITA?", "role": "Fair-Measurement", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Fair-Measurement\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5aklgb5z\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1577208307.0, \"created_utc\": 1577208307.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ef49r2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ef49r2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2582, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ef49r2/aita_for_gifting_my_sister_pictures_of_my_dog/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 31763, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a bit of a jackass I will admit, but hear me out. So today I was at my parent's house to celebrate Christmas Eve with my side of the family (as this year I will be spending Christmas with my girlfriend's this year). Anyways, we opened presents up early this morning. Something I should note about my sister is that she LOVES her children. Which is great and I do love my nephews, but every year she gets me magnets, pictures, blankets and pretty much anything she can plaster her kids on. \\n\\nWhile it's nice, I don't have a shrine at my house dedicated to them and I know this might sound selfish, but I don't really want them as I don't know what to do with them. They end up in a drawer or something, cause one year she got me a large tapestry thing with her kids on it, and it was HUGE. Obviously I didn't want to hang it up as it quite literally covered the entire wall. I never say anything to her as I don't want to offend her and ruin Christmas.\\n\\nSo that's when I had the genius idea of doing the same thing but with my dog. I put him in a little tie, took his picture and put it in a frame. I love my dog as my child, so I figured I'd gift it to my sister. (I also got her a $25 Starbucks card as she's obsessed with them and I wasn't trying to be petty). Anyways, she opens it up and her face drops. Then she goes to me and says, \\\"what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?\\\" Without a thought I said, \\\"same thing I do with yours, it'll look good on your coffee table\\\". \\n\\nLong story short, she got mad, my family is pretty much on my side expect for a couple of people who thought it was funny but in the end \\\"dogs aren't comparable to humans\\\". Which I don't necessarily agree with and wasn't the point of the gift, but whatever, I thought it was funny, but I need unbiased opinons, AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a bit of a jackass I will admit, but hear me out. So today I was at my parent's house to celebrate Christmas Eve with my side of the family (as this year I will be spending Christmas with my girlfriend's this year). Anyways, we opened presents up early this morning. Something I should note about my sister is that she LOVES her children. Which is great and I do love my nephews, but every year she gets me magnets, pictures, blankets and pretty much anything she can plaster her kids on. </p>\\n\\n<p>While it's nice, I don't have a shrine at my house dedicated to them and I know this might sound selfish, but I don't really want them as I don't know what to do with them. They end up in a drawer or something, cause one year she got me a large tapestry thing with her kids on it, and it was HUGE. Obviously I didn't want to hang it up as it quite literally covered the entire wall. I never say anything to her as I don't want to offend her and ruin Christmas.</p>\\n\\n<p>So that's when I had the genius idea of doing the same thing but with my dog. I put him in a little tie, took his picture and put it in a frame. I love my dog as my child, so I figured I'd gift it to my sister. (I also got her a $25 Starbucks card as she's obsessed with them and I wasn't trying to be petty). Anyways, she opens it up and her face drops. Then she goes to me and says, "what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" Without a thought I said, "same thing I do with yours, it'll look good on your coffee table". </p>\\n\\n<p>Long story short, she got mad, my family is pretty much on my side expect for a couple of people who thought it was funny but in the end "dogs aren't comparable to humans". Which I don't necessarily agree with and wasn't the point of the gift, but whatever, I thought it was funny, but I need unbiased opinons, AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ef49r2\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for gifting my sister pictures of my dog?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 31763, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.91, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ef49r2/aita_for_gifting_my_sister_pictures_of_my_dog/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "YTA for not sharing the picture. What the fuck, OP? Let me see your dog!\n\nedit: Thank you to everyone who replied with pet pictures! Here are a couple pictures of my cat in loaf mode. \n\nhttps://i.imgur.com/cqoNTxd.jpg\n\nhttps://i.imgur.com/kpzgv4d.jpg", "role": "browsingtheproduce", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"browsingtheproduce\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [3]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_38uasife\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"YTA for not sharing the picture. What the fuck, OP? Let me see your dog!\\n\\nedit: Thank you to everyone who replied with pet pictures! Here are a couple pictures of my cat in loaf mode. \\n\\nhttps://i.imgur.com/cqoNTxd.jpg\\n\\nhttps://i.imgur.com/kpzgv4d.jpg\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>YTA for not sharing the picture. What the fuck, OP? Let me see your dog!</p>\\n\\n<p>edit: Thank you to everyone who replied with pet pictures! Here are a couple pictures of my cat in loaf mode. </p>\\n\\n<p><a href=\\\"https://i.imgur.com/cqoNTxd.jpg\\\">https://i.imgur.com/cqoNTxd.jpg</a></p>\\n\\n<p><a href=\\\"https://i.imgur.com/kpzgv4d.jpg\\\">https://i.imgur.com/kpzgv4d.jpg</a></p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1577216690.0, \"created_utc\": 1577216690.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1577259534.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fbyh1cc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, 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ESH. Idc if i get downvotes. It seems that you are trying fo make yourself look as innocent as possilbe and some people here are calling for it. You didnt say what the argument was about and u just dropped ur kids off at your sisters house like nothing ever happened.
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miquq1
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2b892ba11bbd42ad
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{"demographics": {"age group": "20-21 years old (was 20 in July 2020, last post April 2021)", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has personal experience with bullying during school years; mentions being bullied 'as well' when relating to others' experiences"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and moral judgment, particularly in AITA subreddit contexts", "Family dynamics and toxic relationship patterns, especially regarding boundaries with relatives", "Bullying experiences and institutional responses to harassment in schools", "Financial literacy topics like tax implications ('how much do u owe to the IRS?')", "Accountability and consequences for harmful behavior", "Reddit meta-commentary and platform culture ('Yo I remember that post. It was about the MLM')", "LGBTQ+ issues and discrimination, particularly family rejection scenarios", "Multi-level marketing schemes and financial scams", "Social justice and calling out hypocrisy in authority figures"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability: 'the dude cheated on his wife and slandered her. NTA'", "Advocates for cutting off toxic relationships: 'Just block them', 'perm block them', 'YTA to yourself for putting up with this'", "Anti-bullying stance rooted in personal experience: 'I got bullied too. I learned that nobody would come to my rescue except for myself'", "Values honesty over maintaining false appearances: 'If she lied and said it was the best 4 yrs of her life then they wouldnt be complaining'", "Believes consequences should match actions: 'Theyre being hypocrites and proving OP right'", "Skeptical of excuses and victim-blaming: 'What kind of bullshit is that?' regarding being asked if they caused their own bullying", "Pragmatic approach to conflict: willing to call out both sides as in 'ESH' judgment", "Supports self-reliance and personal boundaries over family obligation", "Values clarity and directness: prefers 'love is thicker than blood' for 'Far less confusion'"], "communication": ["Uses casual internet abbreviations extensively: 'u', 'cuz', 'tbh', 'af', 'Idc', 'Yall'", "Employs short, direct statements for emphasis: 'Underrated comment.', 'Spot on.'", "Comfortable with profanity for emphasis in appropriate contexts", "Uses humor and sarcasm: 'I actually gave OP some money to buy the car but I didnt have the cameras on'", "Asks genuine clarifying questions when curious: 'So u get $300k from selling the car, how much do u think u can keep'", "Expresses surprise at learning new information: 'Dang I had no idea. I thought u just get the keys then leave'", "Provides verdict-style judgments common to AITA: 'NTA', 'ESH'", "Shares personal experiences to validate points: 'Im 20 and this comment is a TIL for me'", "Uses conversational tone with minimal formal structure", "Employs quoted text to reference specific points before responding"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 25-35 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 3-5 words ('Underrated comment.', 'Spot on.')", "Maximum response length: approximately 80-100 words in more detailed responses", "Frequent use of abbreviations: 'u', 'tbh', 'af', 'NTA', 'ESH', 'cuz', 'Idc'", "Common phrases: 'Just block them', 'I got bullied', 'NTA', 'being hypocrites'", "Predominantly simple sentence structure with occasional compound sentences", "Minimal use of punctuation beyond periods and question marks", "Frequent use of informal contractions: 'theyre', 'didnt', 'wouldnt', 'Yall'", "Uses lowercase for emphasis or casual tone, occasionally uses proper capitalization"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for not babysitting for my sister in law any more after she called the police on me?\n\nMy sister in law and I have an agreement. She watches my kids 3 days a week, and I watch hers 3 days a week. This agreement has stood since March 2020 without issues. Any changes have been discussed weeks in advance.\n\nA couple weeks ago, we had an argument. The next day, I brought my kids to her house, dropped them off, and left. I didn't speak to my sister in law, because when one of us is in a rush, like I was, it's standard for us to just let the kids out, stay in the car, and drive off when you see the door open.\n\nI drove to work, about 40 minutes away. When I got there, I had about 20 missed calls, and even more texts, all from my sister in law, all saying she didn't want to watch the kids given our argument. Her first text arrived a little before I got to her place, but I didn't see it until I got to work because my phone is always on silent when I drive. I rang her, said I'll arrange to work from home, then come get the kids. She said I have 45 mins to get back to her place or she would call the police.\n\nI told my supervisor the situation, and she said I could leave after I did a few things. This delayed me 20 mins. When I got back to my sister in law's, just over an hour later, she said she'd already called the police when the 45 mins ran out. I then had to stick around long enough to tell the officer that I didn't abandon my children, there was just a communication issue.\n\nSister in law and I had another shouting match later over this. I arranged other childcare for my kids and I've been mostly ignoring her since. However, she reached out and apologised, and has asked if I'd be willing to go back to the old childcare arrangement. I've told her to go fuck herself.\n\nI work with kids. If I got child abandonment on my record, I would never work in my field again, which she knew, and her calling the police was a *massive* overreaction, so if she needs a babysitter she can go whistle for all I care. She said that if I checked my phone, talked to her that morning, or came back when I was supposed to, she would not have needed to call the police, and I did this to myself, as she gave me a warning with that first text and I could have checked my phone or spoken to her directly when I got to her place, all of which she says she would have done if she were in my position, given that we'd argued the night before. I've told her that if she thinks I'm babysitting for her, she's fucking delusional, and she's on her own.\n\nBecause of my refusal, it's looking like she may have to quit her job because my brother and her would pay more for a babysitter than they would earn from her working. My mother and brother have both called me an arsehole because there were no consequences to her calling the police, and that while she overreacted, she's apologised, so if I really forgive her, I'll let us move on. This income loss would also mean that she, my brother, and my niece and nephew might need to move somewhere cheaper, that my brother might have to take on extra hours at work, and in an extreme scenario they may even be completely unable to live independently, meaning they'd have to move in with her parents, who live several hours away.\n\nAITA?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1617389492.0, \"created_utc\": 1617389492.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1617394916.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"miquq1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_miquq1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2719, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/miquq1/aita_for_not_babysitting_for_my_sister_in_law_any/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23337, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My sister in law and I have an agreement. She watches my kids 3 days a week, and I watch hers 3 days a week. This agreement has stood since March 2020 without issues. Any changes have been discussed weeks in advance.\\n\\nA couple weeks ago, we had an argument. The next day, I brought my kids to her house, dropped them off, and left. I didn't speak to my sister in law, because when one of us is in a rush, like I was, it's standard for us to just let the kids out, stay in the car, and drive off when you see the door open.\\n\\nI drove to work, about 40 minutes away. When I got there, I had about 20 missed calls, and even more texts, all from my sister in law, all saying she didn't want to watch the kids given our argument. Her first text arrived a little before I got to her place, but I didn't see it until I got to work because my phone is always on silent when I drive. I rang her, said I'll arrange to work from home, then come get the kids. She said I have 45 mins to get back to her place or she would call the police.\\n\\nI told my supervisor the situation, and she said I could leave after I did a few things. This delayed me 20 mins. When I got back to my sister in law's, just over an hour later, she said she'd already called the police when the 45 mins ran out. I then had to stick around long enough to tell the officer that I didn't abandon my children, there was just a communication issue.\\n\\nSister in law and I had another shouting match later over this. I arranged other childcare for my kids and I've been mostly ignoring her since. However, she reached out and apologised, and has asked if I'd be willing to go back to the old childcare arrangement. I've told her to go fuck herself.\\n\\nI work with kids. If I got child abandonment on my record, I would never work in my field again, which she knew, and her calling the police was a *massive* overreaction, so if she needs a babysitter she can go whistle for all I care. She said that if I checked my phone, talked to her that morning, or came back when I was supposed to, she would not have needed to call the police, and I did this to myself, as she gave me a warning with that first text and I could have checked my phone or spoken to her directly when I got to her place, all of which she says she would have done if she were in my position, given that we'd argued the night before. I've told her that if she thinks I'm babysitting for her, she's fucking delusional, and she's on her own.\\n\\nBecause of my refusal, it's looking like she may have to quit her job because my brother and her would pay more for a babysitter than they would earn from her working. My mother and brother have both called me an arsehole because there were no consequences to her calling the police, and that while she overreacted, she's apologised, so if I really forgive her, I'll let us move on. This income loss would also mean that she, my brother, and my niece and nephew might need to move somewhere cheaper, that my brother might have to take on extra hours at work, and in an extreme scenario they may even be completely unable to live independently, meaning they'd have to move in with her parents, who live several hours away.\\n\\nAITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My sister in law and I have an agreement. She watches my kids 3 days a week, and I watch hers 3 days a week. This agreement has stood since March 2020 without issues. Any changes have been discussed weeks in advance.</p>\\n\\n<p>A couple weeks ago, we had an argument. The next day, I brought my kids to her house, dropped them off, and left. I didn't speak to my sister in law, because when one of us is in a rush, like I was, it's standard for us to just let the kids out, stay in the car, and drive off when you see the door open.</p>\\n\\n<p>I drove to work, about 40 minutes away. When I got there, I had about 20 missed calls, and even more texts, all from my sister in law, all saying she didn't want to watch the kids given our argument. Her first text arrived a little before I got to her place, but I didn't see it until I got to work because my phone is always on silent when I drive. I rang her, said I'll arrange to work from home, then come get the kids. She said I have 45 mins to get back to her place or she would call the police.</p>\\n\\n<p>I told my supervisor the situation, and she said I could leave after I did a few things. This delayed me 20 mins. When I got back to my sister in law's, just over an hour later, she said she'd already called the police when the 45 mins ran out. I then had to stick around long enough to tell the officer that I didn't abandon my children, there was just a communication issue.</p>\\n\\n<p>Sister in law and I had another shouting match later over this. I arranged other childcare for my kids and I've been mostly ignoring her since. However, she reached out and apologised, and has asked if I'd be willing to go back to the old childcare arrangement. I've told her to go fuck herself.</p>\\n\\n<p>I work with kids. If I got child abandonment on my record, I would never work in my field again, which she knew, and her calling the police was a <em>massive</em> overreaction, so if she needs a babysitter she can go whistle for all I care. She said that if I checked my phone, talked to her that morning, or came back when I was supposed to, she would not have needed to call the police, and I did this to myself, as she gave me a warning with that first text and I could have checked my phone or spoken to her directly when I got to her place, all of which she says she would have done if she were in my position, given that we'd argued the night before. I've told her that if she thinks I'm babysitting for her, she's fucking delusional, and she's on her own.</p>\\n\\n<p>Because of my refusal, it's looking like she may have to quit her job because my brother and her would pay more for a babysitter than they would earn from her working. My mother and brother have both called me an arsehole because there were no consequences to her calling the police, and that while she overreacted, she's apologised, so if I really forgive her, I'll let us move on. This income loss would also mean that she, my brother, and my niece and nephew might need to move somewhere cheaper, that my brother might have to take on extra hours at work, and in an extreme scenario they may even be completely unable to live independently, meaning they'd have to move in with her parents, who live several hours away.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_miquq1\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not babysitting for my sister in law any more after she called the police on me?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23337, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/miquq1/aita_for_not_babysitting_for_my_sister_in_law_any/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "2b892ba11bbd42ad", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "4dd7b0579f4c6bf7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "ESH. Idc if i get downvotes. It seems that you are trying fo make yourself look as innocent as possilbe and some people here are calling for it. You didnt say what the argument was about and u just dropped ur kids off at your sisters house like nothing ever happened.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>ESH. Idc if i get downvotes. It seems that you are trying fo make yourself look as innocent as possilbe and some people here are calling for it. You didnt say what the argument was about and u just dropped ur kids off at your sisters house like nothing ever happened.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1617402417.0, "created_utc": 1617402417.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gt6rden", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_miquq1", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gt6rden", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_miquq1", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/miquq1/aita_for_not_babysitting_for_my_sister_in_law_any/gt6rden/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 31, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 31, "user_reports": []}
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NTA! Shame on him!
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hk5vqi
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b4d29f7fb399a7cd
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| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and parent-child relationships, particularly responding to posts about therapy sessions, guardianship decisions, and parenting conflicts", "Child welfare and safety issues, including babysitting situations and school-related problems", "Trust violations and privacy breaches in personal relationships", "Workplace fairness and employee rights, such as proper compensation and working conditions", "Theft and property rights, including roommate conflicts and family theft situations", "Religious and cultural respect, particularly defending against discrimination", "Personal growth and positive life changes, expressing warmth toward success stories", "Interpersonal conflicts requiring moral judgment, consistently engaging with AITA-style posts", "Legal protections and formal consequences for wrongdoing", "Relationship boundaries and respect for personal autonomy", "Safety concerns in domestic situations, particularly regarding children", "Accountability and consequences for harmful behavior"], "values": ["Strong emphasis on trust as foundational to relationships, stating 'That's a major trust breaker' regarding privacy violations", "Protection of vulnerable individuals, advising 'you or your aunt...might want to get a lawyer' for child custody protection", "Belief in accountability and consequences, supporting pressing charges and stating 'Shame on him!' for theft", "Respect for personal boundaries and privacy, condemning spying on therapy sessions and locking children in rooms", "Fairness in compensation and treatment, calculating that babysitter 'works 60 hours a week' and is 'seriously underpaying this poor girl'", "Zero tolerance for discrimination, defending friend's hijab and stating 'Good for you for protecting your friend'", "Distinction between minor mistakes and serious misconduct, noting 'huge difference between being young and doing something stupid' versus sustained infidelity", "Empathy for difficult circumstances, expressing 'I am so, so sorry about what happened' to terminally ill parent", "Support for personal autonomy in major life decisions like marriage and relationships", "Recognition that actions have natural consequences, stating perpetrators 'brought what happened upon themselves'", "Concern for child safety as paramount, identifying locked door as 'absolutely dangerous and counts as abuse'", "Appreciation for positive personal growth and self-improvement in others"], "communication": ["Consistently opens with clear moral verdicts using 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) or 'YTA' (You're The Asshole) format", "Uses emphatic language and exclamation points for emphasis, such as 'NTA! Shame on him!' and 'YTA! You outta be ashamed of yourself'", "Provides practical, actionable advice including legal suggestions and specific calculations", "Employs second-person direct address to engage with original posters", "Varies response length significantly based on situation complexity, from 4-word responses to 150+ word detailed explanations", "Expresses strong emotional reactions to injustice with phrases like 'outta be ashamed' and 'absolutely dangerous'", "Uses informal contractions and colloquialisms like 'outta' while maintaining clear communication", "Demonstrates empathy through supportive language like 'This makes me have warm feelings, good for you!'", "Provides detailed reasoning and evidence to support moral judgments", "Uses safety-focused language when discussing child welfare, emphasizing danger and protection", "Employs rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity of situations", "Balances concise verdicts with substantive explanations when warranted"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-50 words, with minimum of 4 words ('NTA! Shame on him!') and maximum around 150 words (babysitter post)", "Most frequent opening phrase is 'NTA' appearing in 8 out of 11 responses, with one 'YTA' verdict", "Consistent use of exclamation points for emphasis, appearing in majority of responses", "Common phrases include 'good for you' (2 instances), 'shame' (2 instances), and safety-related terminology", "Sentence structure varies from simple declarations to complex multi-clause explanations with supporting evidence", "Frequent use of second-person pronouns ('you', 'your') for direct engagement", "Employs both short emphatic statements and longer analytical paragraphs depending on context", "Uses specific numbers and calculations when discussing fairness (hours worked, wages, donations)", "Incorporates quoted material from original posts to support arguments", "Demonstrates consistent engagement pattern over 8-month period from June 2020 to February 2021"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for pressing charges against my son?\n\nMy son (28) was visiting us for a couple days and was at my house alone babysitting my daughters kid.\n\nAccording to my son, the other day my 4-year-old granddaughter (his niece) pulled down the TV and broke it. My son told us that he took the TV to the dump as it was shattered and useless. My daughter and son-in-law (my 4yo granddaughters parents) felt very bad for what had happened and paid the cost of the TV that day.\n\nMy husband was watching our security cameras and our son's story doesn't hold up. We never see our granddaughter breaking the TV. All that we see is our son taking away the TV that is not shattered. We asked our son about this and he said that the security camera must have cut out the part that shows our granddaughter breaking the TV.\n\nEventually I got a call from my son's girlfriend that lives with him. She said that she knew what was going on and felt guilty. She basically told us that our son had made up the story about the TV breaking and stole it and took it to their house to watch. \n\nI filed a police report and his girlfriend let the police into their house to get us our TV back. We do plan on pressing charges against him. He stole our TV and made my daughter pay for it. That is messed up on so many levels. AITA for pressing charges?", "role": "grandma_rosie", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"grandma_rosie\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_74zq172a\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1593725373.0, \"created_utc\": 1593725373.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hk5vqi\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hk5vqi\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1873, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hk5vqi/aita_for_pressing_charges_against_my_son/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 33026, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My son (28) was visiting us for a couple days and was at my house alone babysitting my daughters kid.\\n\\nAccording to my son, the other day my 4-year-old granddaughter (his niece) pulled down the TV and broke it. My son told us that he took the TV to the dump as it was shattered and useless. My daughter and son-in-law (my 4yo granddaughters parents) felt very bad for what had happened and paid the cost of the TV that day.\\n\\nMy husband was watching our security cameras and our son's story doesn't hold up. We never see our granddaughter breaking the TV. All that we see is our son taking away the TV that is not shattered. We asked our son about this and he said that the security camera must have cut out the part that shows our granddaughter breaking the TV.\\n\\nEventually I got a call from my son's girlfriend that lives with him. She said that she knew what was going on and felt guilty. She basically told us that our son had made up the story about the TV breaking and stole it and took it to their house to watch. \\n\\nI filed a police report and his girlfriend let the police into their house to get us our TV back. We do plan on pressing charges against him. He stole our TV and made my daughter pay for it. That is messed up on so many levels. AITA for pressing charges?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My son (28) was visiting us for a couple days and was at my house alone babysitting my daughters kid.</p>\\n\\n<p>According to my son, the other day my 4-year-old granddaughter (his niece) pulled down the TV and broke it. My son told us that he took the TV to the dump as it was shattered and useless. My daughter and son-in-law (my 4yo granddaughters parents) felt very bad for what had happened and paid the cost of the TV that day.</p>\\n\\n<p>My husband was watching our security cameras and our son's story doesn't hold up. We never see our granddaughter breaking the TV. All that we see is our son taking away the TV that is not shattered. We asked our son about this and he said that the security camera must have cut out the part that shows our granddaughter breaking the TV.</p>\\n\\n<p>Eventually I got a call from my son's girlfriend that lives with him. She said that she knew what was going on and felt guilty. She basically told us that our son had made up the story about the TV breaking and stole it and took it to their house to watch. </p>\\n\\n<p>I filed a police report and his girlfriend let the police into their house to get us our TV back. We do plan on pressing charges against him. He stole our TV and made my daughter pay for it. That is messed up on so many levels. AITA for pressing charges?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hk5vqi\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for pressing charges against my son?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 33026, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hk5vqi/aita_for_pressing_charges_against_my_son/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b4d29f7fb399a7cd", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "67a66e220474bc26", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA! Shame on him!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA! Shame on him!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1593734563.0, "created_utc": 1593734563.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fwr67f1", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hk5vqi", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fwr67f1", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_hk5vqi", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hk5vqi/aita_for_pressing_charges_against_my_son/fwr67f1/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}
|
Then they could sit with themselves between the kid and other people. And even bring like a file folder to hold up as a barrier to him seeing. They could pay extra to get a 4th seat for an extra buffer.
They're AHs.
|
ut5mbn
|
3526473ae6c4f7b8
| 1,653,002,698
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married for at least 15 years as of 2020, has a husband, uses kanban boards for household management"}, "interests": ["Language and linguistics, as shown by commenting 'There's no language on Earth where Ariadne would be pronounced Ardeen'", "Cultural sensitivity and anti-racism, demonstrated by understanding why someone would be upset about cultural appropriation and stereotyping", "Household management and equitable division of labor, evidenced by detailed discussion of chore distribution and kanban boards", "Technology solutions for everyday problems, such as suggesting 'whitelisting devices by MAC address' for wifi access control", "Medical and health issues, showing knowledge of radiation treatment tattoos and expressing sympathy for cancer patients", "Credit and financial literacy, explaining credit utilization and card limits to others", "Grief and emotional support, providing thoughtful advice like 'recording conversations with your wife where you talk about your time together'", "Workplace dynamics and professional boundaries, engaging with posts about work conflicts and maternity leave issues", "Family relationships and interpersonal conflicts, frequently responding to posts about sibling rivalries and parent-child dynamics", "Social justice and calling out inappropriate behavior, such as supporting someone who confronted a teacher about mispronouncing a name", "Historical context of stereotypes, noting interest when learning 'It all comes from enterprising black women offering food for train travelers'", "Practical problem-solving in domestic situations, offering concrete solutions rather than just emotional support"], "values": ["Fairness and equity in relationships, stating 'My husband sincerely thought he was doing half the work around the house. When we sat down and listed it all out, he apologized'", "Empathy for those experiencing loss, writing 'I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you decided to tell her and that the two of you got a bit of comfort'", "Respect for personal boundaries and autonomy, supporting someone's right to cut off toxic family members", "Accountability and taking responsibility, appreciating when her husband 'does it as \"doing housework\" rather than \"helping my wife\"'", "Practical problem-solving over emotional reactions, suggesting technical solutions like MAC address whitelisting", "Protection of children and vulnerable people, supporting a parent who got a medical tattoo for their child's safety", "Clear communication and honesty, advising 'Either he's a child and has no business trying to date anyone, or he's old enough to be told'", "Standing up against manipulation, telling someone 'Ask her \"Is cousin more important to you than your own daughter and grandchild?\"'", "Appreciation for genuine apologies and changed behavior, noting 'I hope she was ashamed enough to change her behavior'", "Recognition that intent doesn't excuse harm, understanding why someone would be upset despite good intentions", "Valuing emotional intelligence alongside other forms of intelligence, pointing out lack of 'social skills and emotional intelligence'", "Belief in learning from mistakes and growth, describing how her husband changed his behavior after understanding the issue"], "communication": ["Uses clear, concise language with proper grammar and punctuation throughout responses", "Frequently begins with 'NTA' when agreeing with the original poster's position", "Employs empathetic opening phrases like 'I'm so sorry' and 'I'm so glad' to validate feelings", "Provides practical, actionable suggestions rather than just emotional support", "Uses humor occasionally, such as 'Okay, I disliked this woman, but now I kind of want to be roommates with her to fake being Scottish and get some haggis'", "Shares personal anecdotes to illustrate points, like the 15-year marriage example", "Asks rhetorical questions to make points, such as 'And boasting about vacations to Europe *isn't* \"acting superior\"?'", "Uses italics for emphasis on key words or phrases", "Maintains a supportive but direct tone, not sugar-coating difficult truths", "Varies response length based on complexity of situation, from brief validations to detailed explanations", "Often quotes or references specific parts of the original post to ground responses in context", "Expresses genuine curiosity and interest, saying things like 'How cool, I never knew that'"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-60 words, with range from 10 words to 150 words", "Frequently uses 'NTA' as opening or standalone response", "Common phrases include 'I'm so sorry', 'I'm so glad', 'my husband', 'would be', 'could have'", "Uses first-person perspective when sharing personal experiences ('My husband', 'I would')", "Employs questions in approximately 30% of responses to prompt reflection", "Sentence structure varies between short declarative statements (5-10 words) and longer explanatory sentences (20-30 words)", "Uses contractions naturally ('I'm', 'that's', 'wouldn't') for conversational tone", "Includes specific technical terms when relevant (MAC address, kanban boards, credit utilization)", "Rarely uses all caps or excessive punctuation, maintaining measured tone even when expressing strong opinions", "Frequently provides multi-part responses with numbered or structured suggestions"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for telling a family to fly private?\n\nI was recently flying from NYC to LAX for a work trip and I had the displeasure of sitting next to a family and a little boy (9). I got on the plane in the midst of issues with my diabetes and I needed to eat within two hours so I began snacking. I immediately began receiving dirty looks from the parents and the mother said \u201ccan you not do that? Our son.\u201d so I put my food away and figured I\u2019d wait until the flight attendant came around so I could buy food from her and eat at an acceptable time just to show some respect for their wishes. \n\nSo the flight attendant comes by with her beverages and snacks, I start to ask for a Coke and a snack box, but before I can finish the sentence the father says \u201cnothing for this row, we\u2019re all set here\u201d and she continues on. I go up to press the call light so I can get my food and my drink because I actually need it and the father says \u201cour son has prader-willi, we\u2019d prefer it if you didn\u2019t eat because it causes tantrums when he doesn\u2019t know he can\u2019t eat and he\u2019s always hungry\u201d. I\u2019m close to a tantrum myself at this point and so I look him in the eye and say \u201cI do not care, fly private if you want to control your surroundings\u201d. \n\nThe flight attendant comes back and I get my food and my drink, I snarf it down and chug my soda, and I sit back. As soon as I\u2019m calmed and I\u2019m able to open my laptop and get back to work the mother leans in and says \u201cI feel a calling to educate you about my son\u2019s disease\u201d and I felt my entire body clench up. She keeps talking to me and explaining how I\u2019d made her son feel and I said \u201clisten lady, I don\u2019t fucking care, I\u2019m going to handle my T1D the way I see fit and you\u2019re going to handle your son the way you see fit. I\u2019m not endangering myself because you don\u2019t want to deal with a tantrum, if you want to control other people then you book all the seats in a row or you fucking fly private.\u201d\n\nI recounted the story to a friend of mine once I\u2019d gotten off the plane and she immediately told me that I was a huge AH and I should\u2019ve given them a little bit of grace due to their son\u2019s condition. I kind of feel bad but at the same time, I think that it\u2019s unavoidable if you\u2019re going into public and you\u2019re around others. \n\nAITA?", "role": "illfuckineatyoutoo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"illfuckineatyoutoo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_n7skw6yf\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1652973201.0, \"created_utc\": 1652973201.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ut5mbn\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ut5mbn\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2650, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ut5mbn/aita_for_telling_a_family_to_fly_private/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24459, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I was recently flying from NYC to LAX for a work trip and I had the displeasure of sitting next to a family and a little boy (9). I got on the plane in the midst of issues with my diabetes and I needed to eat within two hours so I began snacking. I immediately began receiving dirty looks from the parents and the mother said \\u201ccan you not do that? Our son.\\u201d so I put my food away and figured I\\u2019d wait until the flight attendant came around so I could buy food from her and eat at an acceptable time just to show some respect for their wishes. \\n\\nSo the flight attendant comes by with her beverages and snacks, I start to ask for a Coke and a snack box, but before I can finish the sentence the father says \\u201cnothing for this row, we\\u2019re all set here\\u201d and she continues on. I go up to press the call light so I can get my food and my drink because I actually need it and the father says \\u201cour son has prader-willi, we\\u2019d prefer it if you didn\\u2019t eat because it causes tantrums when he doesn\\u2019t know he can\\u2019t eat and he\\u2019s always hungry\\u201d. I\\u2019m close to a tantrum myself at this point and so I look him in the eye and say \\u201cI do not care, fly private if you want to control your surroundings\\u201d. \\n\\nThe flight attendant comes back and I get my food and my drink, I snarf it down and chug my soda, and I sit back. As soon as I\\u2019m calmed and I\\u2019m able to open my laptop and get back to work the mother leans in and says \\u201cI feel a calling to educate you about my son\\u2019s disease\\u201d and I felt my entire body clench up. She keeps talking to me and explaining how I\\u2019d made her son feel and I said \\u201clisten lady, I don\\u2019t fucking care, I\\u2019m going to handle my T1D the way I see fit and you\\u2019re going to handle your son the way you see fit. I\\u2019m not endangering myself because you don\\u2019t want to deal with a tantrum, if you want to control other people then you book all the seats in a row or you fucking fly private.\\u201d\\n\\nI recounted the story to a friend of mine once I\\u2019d gotten off the plane and she immediately told me that I was a huge AH and I should\\u2019ve given them a little bit of grace due to their son\\u2019s condition. I kind of feel bad but at the same time, I think that it\\u2019s unavoidable if you\\u2019re going into public and you\\u2019re around others. \\n\\nAITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I was recently flying from NYC to LAX for a work trip and I had the displeasure of sitting next to a family and a little boy (9). I got on the plane in the midst of issues with my diabetes and I needed to eat within two hours so I began snacking. I immediately began receiving dirty looks from the parents and the mother said \\u201ccan you not do that? Our son.\\u201d so I put my food away and figured I\\u2019d wait until the flight attendant came around so I could buy food from her and eat at an acceptable time just to show some respect for their wishes. </p>\\n\\n<p>So the flight attendant comes by with her beverages and snacks, I start to ask for a Coke and a snack box, but before I can finish the sentence the father says \\u201cnothing for this row, we\\u2019re all set here\\u201d and she continues on. I go up to press the call light so I can get my food and my drink because I actually need it and the father says \\u201cour son has prader-willi, we\\u2019d prefer it if you didn\\u2019t eat because it causes tantrums when he doesn\\u2019t know he can\\u2019t eat and he\\u2019s always hungry\\u201d. I\\u2019m close to a tantrum myself at this point and so I look him in the eye and say \\u201cI do not care, fly private if you want to control your surroundings\\u201d. </p>\\n\\n<p>The flight attendant comes back and I get my food and my drink, I snarf it down and chug my soda, and I sit back. As soon as I\\u2019m calmed and I\\u2019m able to open my laptop and get back to work the mother leans in and says \\u201cI feel a calling to educate you about my son\\u2019s disease\\u201d and I felt my entire body clench up. She keeps talking to me and explaining how I\\u2019d made her son feel and I said \\u201clisten lady, I don\\u2019t fucking care, I\\u2019m going to handle my T1D the way I see fit and you\\u2019re going to handle your son the way you see fit. I\\u2019m not endangering myself because you don\\u2019t want to deal with a tantrum, if you want to control other people then you book all the seats in a row or you fucking fly private.\\u201d</p>\\n\\n<p>I recounted the story to a friend of mine once I\\u2019d gotten off the plane and she immediately told me that I was a huge AH and I should\\u2019ve given them a little bit of grace due to their son\\u2019s condition. I kind of feel bad but at the same time, I think that it\\u2019s unavoidable if you\\u2019re going into public and you\\u2019re around others. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ut5mbn\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling a family to fly private?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24459, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ut5mbn/aita_for_telling_a_family_to_fly_private/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA - do they expect people to stop eating as they walk past a restaurant? Picnics to stop in the park? They can't continually control his surroundings. Plus the problem isn't people eating near him, it's him not understanding what's going on. The parents need to explain to him what's going on, not explain medical things to strangers. If they want to completely control their surroundings then yeah they can fly private or maybe a nighttime flight so they can sleep instead.", "role": "SunsetSunnyD", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SunsetSunnyD\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_amufiyn7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA - do they expect people to stop eating as they walk past a restaurant? Picnics to stop in the park? They can't continually control his surroundings. Plus the problem isn't people eating near him, it's him not understanding what's going on. The parents need to explain to him what's going on, not explain medical things to strangers. If they want to completely control their surroundings then yeah they can fly private or maybe a nighttime flight so they can sleep instead.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA - do they expect people to stop eating as they walk past a restaurant? Picnics to stop in the park? They can't continually control his surroundings. Plus the problem isn't people eating near him, it's him not understanding what's going on. The parents need to explain to him what's going on, not explain medical things to strangers. If they want to completely control their surroundings then yeah they can fly private or maybe a nighttime flight so they can sleep instead.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652973556.0, \"created_utc\": 1652973556.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i97mgv2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ut5mbn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i97mgv2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ut5mbn\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ut5mbn/aita_for_telling_a_family_to_fly_private/i97mgv2/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 8788, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 8788, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Not justifying them, but explaining to a child with PWS might not be that easy.\nThey can ask their surrounding politely, and accept if people decide not to comply.", "role": "RabbiZucker", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"RabbiZucker\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_283amk3\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Not justifying them, but explaining to a child with PWS might not be that easy.\\nThey can ask their surrounding politely, and accept if people decide not to comply.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Not justifying them, but explaining to a child with PWS might not be that easy.\\nThey can ask their surrounding politely, and accept if people decide not to comply.</p>\\n</div>\", 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\"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 226, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3526473ae6c4f7b8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "6b3ec50e1b7e78c1", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Then they could sit with themselves between the kid and other people. And even bring like a file folder to hold up as a barrier to him seeing. They could pay extra to get a 4th seat for an extra buffer.\n\nThey're AHs.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Then they could sit with themselves between the kid and other people. And even bring like a file folder to hold up as a barrier to him seeing. They could pay extra to get a 4th seat for an extra buffer.</p>\n\n<p>They're AHs.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1653002698.0, "created_utc": 1653002698.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i99hedg", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ut5mbn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i99hedg", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i98e6vn", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ut5mbn/aita_for_telling_a_family_to_fly_private/i99hedg/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 8, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 8, "user_reports": []}
|
Her job is to sell drinks and food to make a profit for the restaurant owners. Not providing the beer the husband ordered would be unprofessional. There would be no way to please that couple, so she just needs to sell as much as possible. She was very professional.
|
j1d4gn
|
5e126a74f28f2c38
| 1,601,323,131
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Likely female (references 'my husband' learning their language)", "location": "France (explicitly states 'here in France')", "occupation": "Teacher in higher education (states 'I'm a teacher in higher education')", "nationality": "French or French resident (discusses France as 'we' and 'here')", "other": "Married, multilingual, has family background with stay-at-home mother"}, "interests": ["Education and academic integrity (responds to grading disputes and student welfare issues)", "Mental health advocacy (strongly defends therapy access: 'refusing medical treatment that important as a punishment is outright abuse')", "Cultural identity and language preservation (advises 'Please do teach Ben and your husband Hindi. It's your first language')", "Workplace rights and labor issues (defends waitress: 'Her job is to sell drinks and food to make a profit')", "Family dynamics and parenting decisions (engages with child support, parenting choices, family conflicts)", "Gender equality and challenging stereotypes (supports challenging uncle's views on gendered toys)", "LGBTQ+ rights and discrimination (condemns sister's exclusion: 'your sister has chosen to stand with the homophobes')", "Financial independence and self-sufficiency (supports mother's stance: 'My mother was a stay-at-home-mother till my father died, leaving her to raise three kids alone. Shit happens')", "International perspectives on social issues (comments on US COVID response from French perspective)", "Power dynamics in relationships (identifies controlling behavior and abuse of authority)", "Child welfare and protection (urges reporting of safety violations)", "Creative problem-solving in conflict situations (appreciates unconventional approaches: 'I would have just filmed her back: the OP is much more creative')"], "values": ["Strong opposition to abuse and controlling behavior ('refusing medical treatment that important as a punishment is outright abuse')", "Belief in standing up to bigotry ('There is no way to keep the peace with bigots without compromising your principles')", "Support for individual autonomy and self-expression ('I think it's important that people can express themselves in their own language in their own home')", "Advocacy for vulnerable individuals ('Please report Lisa. She cannot be allowed to put people in danger like that')", "Opposition to discrimination based on identity ('it's almost like punishing for her heritage or for her being Indian')", "Value of mental health treatment and professional support ('I wonder what the hell is happening in that family. It sounds like the family need therapy')", "Importance of financial independence ('My mother was a stay-at-home-mother till my father died... Shit happens')", "Fairness in family and relationship dynamics ('The OP's partner demanding money is what has ruined the relationships')", "Support for gender equality and challenging stereotypes (condemns uncle's gendered toy restrictions)", "Belief in accountability and consequences ('Like you said, you gave them plenty of warnings')", "Recognition of systemic issues ('We are really not laughing at the US here in France, but are sad that so many lives are being lost')", "Validation of personal boundaries and self-protection ('your sister has chosen to stand with the homophobes over standing up for the OP')"], "communication": ["Direct and clear communication style with professional tone", "Uses personal anecdotes to support arguments ('My husband learned my language partly as a way to show he loved me')", "Employs emphatic language for emphasis ('I'm frankly gobsmacked that your professor did that')", "Provides practical, actionable advice ('Please do teach Ben and your husband Hindi')", "Validates others' positions before offering guidance or critique", "Uses rhetorical questions to challenge flawed logic ('Do you think it's OK to give someone an ultimatum to change their child's name?')", "Incorporates professional expertise when relevant ('I'm a teacher in higher education. This is excellent advice')", "Balances empathy with firm stance on principles ('We are really not laughing at the US here in France, but are sad')", "Uses strong declarative statements ('Everything you did and said was OK')", "Focuses on consequences and practical outcomes ('You have to think of what your manager would want you to do')", "Employs comparative analysis ('I would have just filmed her back: the OP is much more creative')", "Maintains respectful but assertive tone even when disagreeing"], "statistics": ["Average response length: 40-60 words, with range from 10 words to 100 words", "Frequently uses phrases like 'I think,' 'Please,' 'You should,' and 'It's important'", "Common sentence starters include personal pronouns ('I,' 'My,' 'We') and imperative verbs ('Please report,' 'You have to')", "Uses compound and complex sentences with clear logical connectors", "Employs direct quotes from original posts to reference specific issues", "Balances short emphatic statements with longer explanatory passages", "Frequently uses parenthetical clarifications and examples", "Incorporates professional terminology when discussing education or workplace issues", "Uses rhetorical devices including questions, comparisons, and conditional statements", "Maintains consistent punctuation and grammar with occasional emphatic capitalization"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for refusing to return a tip AND telling a couple that I dont have time to play mediator?\n\nI'm a 22 year old, female waitress at Texas Roadhouse. This is one of my two jobs to put myself through college. Most days are fine but other days are a living hell.\n\nYesterday I was assigned a table that had a husband, wife and what appeared to be a teenage daughter (maybe 17). Everything was going smooth at first and the wife ordered a margarita. The husband then tried ordering a beer. The wife instantly lost her noodles and said \"Uh, no. He will not have a beer. He will have a water.\" She then turned to him and said something along the lines of him not needing to drink because he was driving. He said no, the daughter could drive. It was childish.\n\nAnyways, he keeps telling me he wants a beer. She keeps telling me no. In this industry, situations like this are a lose/lose for waitresses. If I get him the beer, wife wont tip. If I dont get him the beer, he wont tip. Damned if I do, damned if I dont. So while they were arguing AT me, I said \"Listen, I really dont have time to play mediator here.\" They went silent. I went and got both of them their alcohol. Daughter gives me an apologetic look upon my return, presumably because her mother was acting bat shit crazy upon seeing me bring a beer in tow.\n\nFlash forward to after their meals. Husband has had 2 beers at this point. Wife has stopped drinking and glares at me everytime I return. Wife and daughter go to the car while husband pays. Husband drops me a $40 tip on a $68 tab. I told him I couldnt accept it. He insisted. Eventually I pocketed it. \n\nWife comes in an hour or so later demanding that I give her the $40 her husband gave me, stating that I was a terrible host and went against her and I dknt deserve a tip. She got my manager involved who said \"She is not obligated to give you her tip. You left the restaurant and the tip has already been processed. Have a nice night.\" She was fuming, screaming at me about how much of an AH I was for supplying her husband alcohol after she said no. Other guests started chiming in saying that she was being ignorant and that I was doing my job, which is to provide guests with what they want and said that it wasnt MY fault that she was a controlling wife. She storms out.\n\nGiven the fact that I was put on the spot like that, I feel insanely guilty. AITA?", "role": "waitressfml00", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"waitressfml00\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_89lvqk42\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1601303729.0, \"created_utc\": 1601303729.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"j1d4gn\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_j1d4gn\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1634, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j1d4gn/aita_for_refusing_to_return_a_tip_and_telling_a/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27063, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a 22 year old, female waitress at Texas Roadhouse. This is one of my two jobs to put myself through college. Most days are fine but other days are a living hell.\\n\\nYesterday I was assigned a table that had a husband, wife and what appeared to be a teenage daughter (maybe 17). Everything was going smooth at first and the wife ordered a margarita. The husband then tried ordering a beer. The wife instantly lost her noodles and said \\\"Uh, no. He will not have a beer. He will have a water.\\\" She then turned to him and said something along the lines of him not needing to drink because he was driving. He said no, the daughter could drive. It was childish.\\n\\nAnyways, he keeps telling me he wants a beer. She keeps telling me no. In this industry, situations like this are a lose/lose for waitresses. If I get him the beer, wife wont tip. If I dont get him the beer, he wont tip. Damned if I do, damned if I dont. So while they were arguing AT me, I said \\\"Listen, I really dont have time to play mediator here.\\\" They went silent. I went and got both of them their alcohol. Daughter gives me an apologetic look upon my return, presumably because her mother was acting bat shit crazy upon seeing me bring a beer in tow.\\n\\nFlash forward to after their meals. Husband has had 2 beers at this point. Wife has stopped drinking and glares at me everytime I return. Wife and daughter go to the car while husband pays. Husband drops me a $40 tip on a $68 tab. I told him I couldnt accept it. He insisted. Eventually I pocketed it. \\n\\nWife comes in an hour or so later demanding that I give her the $40 her husband gave me, stating that I was a terrible host and went against her and I dknt deserve a tip. She got my manager involved who said \\\"She is not obligated to give you her tip. You left the restaurant and the tip has already been processed. Have a nice night.\\\" She was fuming, screaming at me about how much of an AH I was for supplying her husband alcohol after she said no. Other guests started chiming in saying that she was being ignorant and that I was doing my job, which is to provide guests with what they want and said that it wasnt MY fault that she was a controlling wife. She storms out.\\n\\nGiven the fact that I was put on the spot like that, I feel insanely guilty. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a 22 year old, female waitress at Texas Roadhouse. This is one of my two jobs to put myself through college. Most days are fine but other days are a living hell.</p>\\n\\n<p>Yesterday I was assigned a table that had a husband, wife and what appeared to be a teenage daughter (maybe 17). Everything was going smooth at first and the wife ordered a margarita. The husband then tried ordering a beer. The wife instantly lost her noodles and said "Uh, no. He will not have a beer. He will have a water." She then turned to him and said something along the lines of him not needing to drink because he was driving. He said no, the daughter could drive. It was childish.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyways, he keeps telling me he wants a beer. She keeps telling me no. In this industry, situations like this are a lose/lose for waitresses. If I get him the beer, wife wont tip. If I dont get him the beer, he wont tip. Damned if I do, damned if I dont. So while they were arguing AT me, I said "Listen, I really dont have time to play mediator here." They went silent. I went and got both of them their alcohol. Daughter gives me an apologetic look upon my return, presumably because her mother was acting bat shit crazy upon seeing me bring a beer in tow.</p>\\n\\n<p>Flash forward to after their meals. Husband has had 2 beers at this point. Wife has stopped drinking and glares at me everytime I return. Wife and daughter go to the car while husband pays. Husband drops me a $40 tip on a $68 tab. I told him I couldnt accept it. He insisted. Eventually I pocketed it. </p>\\n\\n<p>Wife comes in an hour or so later demanding that I give her the $40 her husband gave me, stating that I was a terrible host and went against her and I dknt deserve a tip. She got my manager involved who said "She is not obligated to give you her tip. You left the restaurant and the tip has already been processed. Have a nice night." She was fuming, screaming at me about how much of an AH I was for supplying her husband alcohol after she said no. Other guests started chiming in saying that she was being ignorant and that I was doing my job, which is to provide guests with what they want and said that it wasnt MY fault that she was a controlling wife. She storms out.</p>\\n\\n<p>Given the fact that I was put on the spot like that, I feel insanely guilty. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_j1d4gn\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for refusing to return a tip AND telling a couple that I dont have time to play mediator?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27063, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.94, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j1d4gn/aita_for_refusing_to_return_a_tip_and_telling_a/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Nta imo, manager has your back (which is good!) and the other customers as well. Really she\u2019s pissed at her husband not you.\n\nEdit- I think some people are reading this as if I think the wife is a harpy and drinking and driving is fine, I don\u2019t, and I have no idea what happens in their life, for all I know he pulls this shit all the time, or she\u2019s the one who always has a glass of wine and he never gets to, etc etc. Just it\u2019s clear the actual annoyance was not with the staff.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Nta imo, manager has your back (which is good!) and the other customers as well. Really she\\u2019s pissed at her husband not you.\\n\\nEdit- I think some people are reading this as if I think the wife is a harpy and drinking and driving is fine, I don\\u2019t, and I have no idea what happens in their life, for all I know he pulls this shit all the time, or she\\u2019s the one who always has a glass of wine and he never gets to, etc etc. Just it\\u2019s clear the actual annoyance was not with the staff.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Nta imo, manager has your back (which is good!) and the other customers as well. Really she\\u2019s pissed at her husband not you.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit- I think some people are reading this as if I think the wife is a harpy and drinking and driving is fine, I don\\u2019t, and I have no idea what happens in their life, for all I know he pulls this shit all the time, or she\\u2019s the one who always has a glass of wine and he never gets to, etc etc. Just it\\u2019s clear the actual annoyance was not with the staff.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1601303880.0, \"created_utc\": 1601303880.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1601379829.0, 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{"content": "but i think it would ve been better if she was more professional by saying\" i will come back later to take your order\", but anyways.", "role": "Local_Current", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Local_Current\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7upv0w0a\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"but i think it would ve been better if she was more professional by saying\\\" i will come back later to take your order\\\", but anyways.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>but i think it would ve been better if she was more professional by saying" i will come back later to take your order", but anyways.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1601309112.0, \"created_utc\": 1601309112.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g6ypasx\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, 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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5e126a74f28f2c38", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0f82a8c418808447", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Her job is to sell drinks and food to make a profit for the restaurant owners. Not providing the beer the husband ordered would be unprofessional. There would be no way to please that couple, so she just needs to sell as much as possible. She was very professional.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Her job is to sell drinks and food to make a profit for the restaurant owners. Not providing the beer the husband ordered would be unprofessional. There would be no way to please that couple, so she just needs to sell as much as possible. She was very professional.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1601323131.0, "created_utc": 1601323131.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g6zltme", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_j1d4gn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g6zltme", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g6ypasx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j1d4gn/aita_for_refusing_to_return_a_tip_and_telling_a/g6zltme/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
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I am also proud of you! It’s so hard to stand up to family members, but you do not have to take their nonsense because you’re related, because she’s pregnant, because you inherited and they didn’t. You are just beginning your adult life- don’t let them pull you down. You’re doing great. Keep it up.
|
kb6uo4
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066e1ad9091dd6d5
| 1,607,725,120
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (identifies as 'bi lady' married to a man)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Bisexual, married for at least 8 years as of 2020, navigates heteronormative family spaces while maintaining LGBTQ+ identity"}, "interests": ["LGBTQ+ rights and representation, particularly bisexual visibility in heteronormative spaces", "Family dynamics and interpersonal conflict resolution", "Wedding planning and autonomy in major life decisions", "Supporting trauma survivors, especially those dealing with visible scars or grief", "Creative work protection and intellectual property rights", "Standing up to toxic family members and setting boundaries", "Jewish cultural traditions and expressions of sympathy", "Video game culture and gaming references", "Humor as a coping mechanism in difficult family situations", "Advocating for mental health and self-care", "Supporting victims of manipulation and gaslighting", "Encouraging people to prioritize their own wellbeing over family pressure"], "values": ["Personal autonomy and self-advocacy, expressing regret about 'not having the strength' to make independent wedding choices", "Pragmatic approach to LGBTQ+ visibility, joking about 'stealth recon missions through heteronormative family reunions'", "Strong support for standing up to toxic family members, consistently encouraging boundary-setting", "Compassion for trauma survivors, offering sympathy to those with burn scars and grief", "Honesty and integrity in creative work, supporting plagiarism victims", "Belief that financial security can justify temporary compromises on identity expression", "Validation of others' experiences before offering advice or solutions", "Using humor to cope with and comment on difficult situations", "Prioritizing mental health and wellbeing over family expectations", "Supporting people who choose to cut off toxic relationships", "Belief that family relationships should be earned through respect, not demanded", "Encouraging people to take control of their narratives and not let others define them"], "communication": ["Extremely concise responses, typically 2-3 sentences with minimum of 2 words ('This is sweet')", "Frequent use of heart emojis (\u2764\ufe0f) to express warmth and emotional support", "Dry, observational humor with cultural references ('Drive a Honda Civic?', 'Communication skill rank up!')", "Direct emotional validation leading responses ('I am also proud of you', 'I'm so glad')", "Uses Jewish phrases appropriately ('mazel tov', 'May your family's memory always be a blessing')", "Playful sarcasm in suggesting solutions ('A kids-ONLY wedding', 'Two dads for the price of one!')", "Casual, conversational tone with contemporary internet language", "Exclamation points for emphasis and encouragement", "Self-deprecating humor about personal experiences ('I wish I had the strength to do this')", "Quick, punchy statements that get directly to the point", "Balances serious emotional support with lighthearted commentary", "References pop culture and gaming ('Communication skill rank up' from RPG leveling systems)"], "statistics": ["Average response length: 15-20 words", "Minimum response length: 2 words ('This is sweet')", "Maximum response length: approximately 50 words (in the plagiarism book post)", "Frequently uses heart emoji (\u2764\ufe0f) in sympathetic responses", "Common opening phrases: 'I'm so glad', 'I am also proud of you', 'Good update'", "Exclamation points appear in approximately 60% of responses for emphasis", "Sentence structure varies from single-word responses to compound sentences with multiple clauses", "Uses parenthetical asides for humorous commentary", "Rhetorical questions appear occasionally for emphasis or humor"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for selling my family home because my pregnant sil ate my dinner\n\nI know shitty title but I\u2019m in a rush to get to work so excuse my grammar \n\nAlso I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers \n\n\nI (19f) lost my father last year to cancer he left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad it\u2019s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn\u2019t have a relationship but he did leave him 10k, my mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn\u2019t do anything about it\n\nFor the past year me and her live ok together. she went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in may my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me)\n\nThey\u2019re messy entitled and rude \nI told them in July I want them out by September because they don\u2019t pay for anything nor wash a dish \nIn August they announced they were pregnant and my sil smugly said \u201cguess we won\u2019t be moving out now\u201d \nIt didnt go down well but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face \n\nWell the past few months have been hell they\u2019ve become worse than before and my mom enables it than demands me to treat my sil like a princess because she\u2019s pregnant\nI once had to wait outside McDonald\u2019s till they opened to get her a McMuffin \n\nWell here were I maybe the asshole \nBecause my sil is pregnant she eats everything she sees like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday she ate all six didn\u2019t even get to try them.\n I can\u2019t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone she\u2019ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly than laugh and say \u201cI couldn\u2019t help my self blame the baby\u201d if I put stuff in my room my mom will open the door with the spare key sil can go through my mini fridge \n\nWell a week ago I was running late to collage I didn\u2019t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate when I got home I was starving I made myself dinner while it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom \n\nI must of been in there 10 minutes at most by the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my shit of course she started crying my mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry making excuses like how she couldn\u2019t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her \n\nWell I had enough I told them get out just like before I got mocked but here\u2019s the thing back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house I called him up crying a few days ago explaining the situation he said he\u2019d buy the house but he will evict my mom and brother. \nThey ofc didn\u2019t take it two well and I have had to stay with a friend I\u2019ve been receiving texts and I\u2019m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I\u2019m starting to think I\u2019m the bad person now \n\nSo AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?\n\n\nEdit wow I expected a few comments but wow \n\nSo I\u2019m on a break I\u2019ll address some things \n\n- some of your roasts are hilarious I honestly deserve it for how bad my grammar is but I was walking to work and declining calls from my mom while making this post I almost said fuck it and didn\u2019t post\n\n\n- if I sell the house to my uncle I will lose 100k but he\u2019s always been good to me and it\u2019s one of those situations were I\u2019d sleep better knowing it\u2019s gone to someone in my dads family \n\n\n- my mom told me because of my age I wouldn\u2019t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them \n\n-if I evict them and continue to live in the house along with the high financial costs I don\u2019t think they\u2019d ever let me live in peace \n\n\n- my mom has health issues and my sil will have to move in with her parents they won\u2019t allow my brother so id be splitting up a young family in my moms words\n\n- guys I\u2019m actually crying I\u2019ve never been told before \u201cI\u2019m proud of you\u201d and the fact I\u2019ve seen a thread of comments telling that means the absolute world to me\n\n\nEdit two i plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I\u2019ve news also \n\nsince people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million its in the heart of London", "role": "Routine_Junket1040", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Routine_Junket1040\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9a0yuvix\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1607706815.0, \"created_utc\": 1607706815.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1607733849.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"kb6uo4\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_kb6uo4\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 987, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25834, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I know shitty title but I\\u2019m in a rush to get to work so excuse my grammar \\n\\nAlso I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers \\n\\n\\nI (19f) lost my father last year to cancer he left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad it\\u2019s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn\\u2019t have a relationship but he did leave him 10k, my mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn\\u2019t do anything about it\\n\\nFor the past year me and her live ok together. she went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in may my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me)\\n\\nThey\\u2019re messy entitled and rude \\nI told them in July I want them out by September because they don\\u2019t pay for anything nor wash a dish \\nIn August they announced they were pregnant and my sil smugly said \\u201cguess we won\\u2019t be moving out now\\u201d \\nIt didnt go down well but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face \\n\\nWell the past few months have been hell they\\u2019ve become worse than before and my mom enables it than demands me to treat my sil like a princess because she\\u2019s pregnant\\nI once had to wait outside McDonald\\u2019s till they opened to get her a McMuffin \\n\\nWell here were I maybe the asshole \\nBecause my sil is pregnant she eats everything she sees like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday she ate all six didn\\u2019t even get to try them.\\n I can\\u2019t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone she\\u2019ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly than laugh and say \\u201cI couldn\\u2019t help my self blame the baby\\u201d if I put stuff in my room my mom will open the door with the spare key sil can go through my mini fridge \\n\\nWell a week ago I was running late to collage I didn\\u2019t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate when I got home I was starving I made myself dinner while it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom \\n\\nI must of been in there 10 minutes at most by the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my shit of course she started crying my mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry making excuses like how she couldn\\u2019t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her \\n\\nWell I had enough I told them get out just like before I got mocked but here\\u2019s the thing back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house I called him up crying a few days ago explaining the situation he said he\\u2019d buy the house but he will evict my mom and brother. \\nThey ofc didn\\u2019t take it two well and I have had to stay with a friend I\\u2019ve been receiving texts and I\\u2019m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I\\u2019m starting to think I\\u2019m the bad person now \\n\\nSo AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?\\n\\n\\nEdit wow I expected a few comments but wow \\n\\nSo I\\u2019m on a break I\\u2019ll address some things \\n\\n- some of your roasts are hilarious I honestly deserve it for how bad my grammar is but I was walking to work and declining calls from my mom while making this post I almost said fuck it and didn\\u2019t post\\n\\n\\n- if I sell the house to my uncle I will lose 100k but he\\u2019s always been good to me and it\\u2019s one of those situations were I\\u2019d sleep better knowing it\\u2019s gone to someone in my dads family \\n\\n\\n- my mom told me because of my age I wouldn\\u2019t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them \\n\\n-if I evict them and continue to live in the house along with the high financial costs I don\\u2019t think they\\u2019d ever let me live in peace \\n\\n\\n- my mom has health issues and my sil will have to move in with her parents they won\\u2019t allow my brother so id be splitting up a young family in my moms words\\n\\n- guys I\\u2019m actually crying I\\u2019ve never been told before \\u201cI\\u2019m proud of you\\u201d and the fact I\\u2019ve seen a thread of comments telling that means the absolute world to me\\n\\n\\nEdit two i plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I\\u2019ve news also \\n\\nsince people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million its in the heart of London\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I know shitty title but I\\u2019m in a rush to get to work so excuse my grammar </p>\\n\\n<p>Also I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers </p>\\n\\n<p>I (19f) lost my father last year to cancer he left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad it\\u2019s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn\\u2019t have a relationship but he did leave him 10k, my mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn\\u2019t do anything about it</p>\\n\\n<p>For the past year me and her live ok together. she went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in may my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me)</p>\\n\\n<p>They\\u2019re messy entitled and rude \\nI told them in July I want them out by September because they don\\u2019t pay for anything nor wash a dish \\nIn August they announced they were pregnant and my sil smugly said \\u201cguess we won\\u2019t be moving out now\\u201d \\nIt didnt go down well but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face </p>\\n\\n<p>Well the past few months have been hell they\\u2019ve become worse than before and my mom enables it than demands me to treat my sil like a princess because she\\u2019s pregnant\\nI once had to wait outside McDonald\\u2019s till they opened to get her a McMuffin </p>\\n\\n<p>Well here were I maybe the asshole \\nBecause my sil is pregnant she eats everything she sees like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday she ate all six didn\\u2019t even get to try them.\\n I can\\u2019t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone she\\u2019ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly than laugh and say \\u201cI couldn\\u2019t help my self blame the baby\\u201d if I put stuff in my room my mom will open the door with the spare key sil can go through my mini fridge </p>\\n\\n<p>Well a week ago I was running late to collage I didn\\u2019t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate when I got home I was starving I made myself dinner while it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom </p>\\n\\n<p>I must of been in there 10 minutes at most by the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my shit of course she started crying my mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry making excuses like how she couldn\\u2019t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her </p>\\n\\n<p>Well I had enough I told them get out just like before I got mocked but here\\u2019s the thing back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house I called him up crying a few days ago explaining the situation he said he\\u2019d buy the house but he will evict my mom and brother. \\nThey ofc didn\\u2019t take it two well and I have had to stay with a friend I\\u2019ve been receiving texts and I\\u2019m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I\\u2019m starting to think I\\u2019m the bad person now </p>\\n\\n<p>So AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit wow I expected a few comments but wow </p>\\n\\n<p>So I\\u2019m on a break I\\u2019ll address some things </p>\\n\\n<ul>\\n<li><p>some of your roasts are hilarious I honestly deserve it for how bad my grammar is but I was walking to work and declining calls from my mom while making this post I almost said fuck it and didn\\u2019t post</p></li>\\n<li><p>if I sell the house to my uncle I will lose 100k but he\\u2019s always been good to me and it\\u2019s one of those situations were I\\u2019d sleep better knowing it\\u2019s gone to someone in my dads family </p></li>\\n<li><p>my mom told me because of my age I wouldn\\u2019t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them </p></li>\\n</ul>\\n\\n<p>-if I evict them and continue to live in the house along with the high financial costs I don\\u2019t think they\\u2019d ever let me live in peace </p>\\n\\n<ul>\\n<li><p>my mom has health issues and my sil will have to move in with her parents they won\\u2019t allow my brother so id be splitting up a young family in my moms words</p></li>\\n<li><p>guys I\\u2019m actually crying I\\u2019ve never been told before \\u201cI\\u2019m proud of you\\u201d and the fact I\\u2019ve seen a thread of comments telling that means the absolute world to me</p></li>\\n</ul>\\n\\n<p>Edit two i plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I\\u2019ve news also </p>\\n\\n<p>since people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million its in the heart of London</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_kb6uo4\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for selling my family home because my pregnant sil ate my dinner\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25834, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA at all and I\u2019m very proud of you for standing up for yourself", "role": "Jareth47", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Jareth47\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", 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\"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Tysm I might sound pathetic but this made me smile I\u2019ve not heard the words \u201cproud of you\u201d my entire life\n\nWow guys I\u2019m actually crying you have no idea how much this means my family doesn\u2019t believe in even saying I love you to each other", "role": "Routine_Junket1040", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Routine_Junket1040\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9a0yuvix\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, 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null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 7828, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "066e1ad9091dd6d5", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "cb314db8d820e8a6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I am also proud of you! It\u2019s so hard to stand up to family members, but you do not have to take their nonsense because you\u2019re related, because she\u2019s pregnant, because you inherited and they didn\u2019t. You are just beginning your adult life- don\u2019t let them pull you down. You\u2019re doing great. Keep it up.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I am also proud of you! It\u2019s so hard to stand up to family members, but you do not have to take their nonsense because you\u2019re related, because she\u2019s pregnant, because you inherited and they didn\u2019t. You are just beginning your adult life- don\u2019t let them pull you down. You\u2019re doing great. Keep it up.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607725120.0, "created_utc": 1607725120.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gfg88md", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_kb6uo4", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gfg88md", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gfev29w", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/gfg88md/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
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Not going to lie ... this post made my house real dusty all of sudden. Badly affected my eyes.
|
etguwh
|
edbef0a8cdb68dab
| 1,579,909,500
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Was unwed/single as of July 2019; owns/rents their own house that they clean themselves; personally knows identical twins well enough to distinguish them"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Issues of deception and honesty in relationships (responds to posts about lying about housework, false cheating accusations)", "Traditional gender roles and marriage conventions (engages with posts about name changes, wedding traditions)", "Consent and privacy issues in the digital age (discusses porn industry consent and privacy)", "Twin-related topics and genetics (asks about autism rates in twins, discusses ability to distinguish identical twins)", "Boundary-setting and standing up for oneself (supports people who assert themselves against family pressure)", "Autism and disability-related family dynamics", "Social etiquette and age-based expectations (wedding seating, 'kid's table' debates)", "Practical problem-solving in social situations", "Emotional family moments and reconciliation stories (responds positively to brother/son update)"], "values": ["Prioritizes honesty and transparency, calling out deception ('She quite literally consented and was paid for that very thing' regarding SIL's porn career)", "Opposes rigid adherence to tradition when illogical ('A 16 year old boy eats MORE than an adult, not less' challenging wedding meal conventions)", "Supports self-defense and reputation protection ('That is not a rule' rejecting absolute prohibition on outing when being slandered)", "Values proportional and fair responses to conflicts", "Skeptical of social conventions that don't serve practical purposes", "Believes in standing one's ground ('I'm sitting here. If you don't like it, you leave' regarding adult table seating)", "Pragmatic over idealistic, focusing on practical outcomes rather than abstract principles", "Challenges illogical reasoning and calls out inconsistencies in others' arguments", "Values personal autonomy and individual choice over family pressure", "Shows empathy for emotional moments while maintaining practical perspective ('made my house real dusty' response to touching family story)"], "communication": ["Uses short, punchy sentences that deliver direct opinions ('Hell no. Don't pay them')", "Employs rhetorical questions to challenge logic ('Who scrubs down someone's house and times it?')", "Incorporates dry humor and sarcasm ('Grandma be trolling you')", "Makes emphatic statements without hedging or softening language", "Uses colloquial and casual phrasing rather than formal language", "Often begins responses with agreement/disagreement markers ('This.', 'No.', 'I agree with this')", "Employs ellipses for dramatic pauses and emphasis ('Hell no. Don't pay them. A 16 year old boy eats MORE than an adult, not less.')", "Provides concrete, real-world examples to support arguments (teenage boys as 'eating machines')", "Uses parenthetical asides for additional emphasis or clarification", "Varies response length dramatically based on engagement level, from single questions to multi-paragraph arguments", "Occasionally uses emotional or humorous metaphors ('made my house real dusty all of sudden. Badly affected my eyes')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 25-30 words", "Minimum response length: 5 words ('How rare is it that one twin has autism and one isn't?')", "Maximum response length: approximately 60+ words in detailed argumentative responses", "Frequently uses emphatic phrases: 'Hell no', 'Come on', 'This', 'No'", "Common sentence starters: 'I agree', 'This', 'That is not', 'Hell no', 'Since'", "Uses ellipses frequently for dramatic effect and to connect related thoughts", "Employs parenthetical statements in approximately 40% of responses", "Rhetorical questions appear in roughly 30% of responses", "Tends toward shorter, declarative sentences rather than complex compound structures"]}
|
[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for letting my brother call me \"dad\" and refusing to tell him the ugly truth?\n\nOriginal post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ehmsme/aita_for_letting_my_brother_call_me_dad_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share\n\nHey guys! So many people wanted me to update on my previous post and wanted me to seek professional advice first before I take matters into my own hands. Apologies if it is long. I'll try to make it as detailed as possible while making this short.\n\nI went to my local therapist and told him about my situation and asked what to do. To keep it short, he said he's heard similar recounts from before and said it is best if I tell him as soon as possible for multiple reasons and to **make sure that my bio-children are present** (multiple reasons). I asked a few of my closest friends and the majority said more or less the same thing.\n\nMy wife and I decided to sit the kids down and burst the big bubble. I asked my brother Josh to come closer and I made sure I held him close and make him feel comfortable. He asked \"What's going on?\" but I started by telling us how much we cared and loved for him, then told him everything about my parents (I put them in a bright light in hopes of a reunion) and who I am to him, then quickly hugged him and my other two kids together and told him that I love all my children the same and NOTHING is going to change my love for him. He was shocked and asked if I was joking, but I was starting to cry a little at this point, so he knew I was serious. My bio-children were very surprised too. He was in tears and asked me why I didn't tell him sooner. I didn't know what to say and said \"I was just trying to protect you, I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me\", but unfortunately and understandably, he left.\n\nHe didn't talk to me as much, again, understandably so. I continuously offered him to go out to the park and play a bit of football (he loves that) and all his favourite things, but he just outright declined and even got a little angry sometimes for me even talking to him. I thought I messed up big-time, until one day while my wife and two children were out doing shopping and we were alone, he came up to me and said \"I know you're not my real father, but I want to let you know you're the best dad in the whole world. Sorry for before.\" I hugged him and things got pretty emotional. It would be a big lie to say my house is normal now (far from that), but things are slowly - ever so slowly - starting to brighten up. There's no longer anything to hide anymore and it feels like we are born again.\n\nJosh is a tough kid, and he handled this far better than I believed he would. I'll be looking into therapy for him to help him recover just incase it doesn't go well in the long run. I'll strive and continue to be a great dad to my kids, and a great dad to my brother/son. Thank you Reddit for pushing me towards this happy ending. Thank you for all the advice and judgements I got (excluding the rude ones about my uncles and aunts -- eeek!) I love you all. Good night.", "role": "AmINotTheAsshole", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"AmINotTheAsshole\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5br24m60\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1579901033.0, \"created_utc\": 1579901033.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1579901489.0, \"gilded\": 6, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"etguwh\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_etguwh\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 695, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/etguwh/update_aita_for_letting_my_brother_call_me_dad/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 38523, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ehmsme/aita_for_letting_my_brother_call_me_dad_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share\\n\\nHey guys! So many people wanted me to update on my previous post and wanted me to seek professional advice first before I take matters into my own hands. Apologies if it is long. I'll try to make it as detailed as possible while making this short.\\n\\nI went to my local therapist and told him about my situation and asked what to do. To keep it short, he said he's heard similar recounts from before and said it is best if I tell him as soon as possible for multiple reasons and to **make sure that my bio-children are present** (multiple reasons). I asked a few of my closest friends and the majority said more or less the same thing.\\n\\nMy wife and I decided to sit the kids down and burst the big bubble. I asked my brother Josh to come closer and I made sure I held him close and make him feel comfortable. He asked \\\"What's going on?\\\" but I started by telling us how much we cared and loved for him, then told him everything about my parents (I put them in a bright light in hopes of a reunion) and who I am to him, then quickly hugged him and my other two kids together and told him that I love all my children the same and NOTHING is going to change my love for him. He was shocked and asked if I was joking, but I was starting to cry a little at this point, so he knew I was serious. My bio-children were very surprised too. He was in tears and asked me why I didn't tell him sooner. I didn't know what to say and said \\\"I was just trying to protect you, I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me\\\", but unfortunately and understandably, he left.\\n\\nHe didn't talk to me as much, again, understandably so. I continuously offered him to go out to the park and play a bit of football (he loves that) and all his favourite things, but he just outright declined and even got a little angry sometimes for me even talking to him. I thought I messed up big-time, until one day while my wife and two children were out doing shopping and we were alone, he came up to me and said \\\"I know you're not my real father, but I want to let you know you're the best dad in the whole world. Sorry for before.\\\" I hugged him and things got pretty emotional. It would be a big lie to say my house is normal now (far from that), but things are slowly - ever so slowly - starting to brighten up. There's no longer anything to hide anymore and it feels like we are born again.\\n\\nJosh is a tough kid, and he handled this far better than I believed he would. I'll be looking into therapy for him to help him recover just incase it doesn't go well in the long run. I'll strive and continue to be a great dad to my kids, and a great dad to my brother/son. Thank you Reddit for pushing me towards this happy ending. Thank you for all the advice and judgements I got (excluding the rude ones about my uncles and aunts -- eeek!) I love you all. Good night.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Original post: <a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ehmsme/aita_for_letting_my_brother_call_me_dad_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share\\\">https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ehmsme/aita_for_letting_my_brother_call_me_dad_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share</a></p>\\n\\n<p>Hey guys! So many people wanted me to update on my previous post and wanted me to seek professional advice first before I take matters into my own hands. Apologies if it is long. I'll try to make it as detailed as possible while making this short.</p>\\n\\n<p>I went to my local therapist and told him about my situation and asked what to do. To keep it short, he said he's heard similar recounts from before and said it is best if I tell him as soon as possible for multiple reasons and to <strong>make sure that my bio-children are present</strong> (multiple reasons). I asked a few of my closest friends and the majority said more or less the same thing.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife and I decided to sit the kids down and burst the big bubble. I asked my brother Josh to come closer and I made sure I held him close and make him feel comfortable. He asked "What's going on?" but I started by telling us how much we cared and loved for him, then told him everything about my parents (I put them in a bright light in hopes of a reunion) and who I am to him, then quickly hugged him and my other two kids together and told him that I love all my children the same and NOTHING is going to change my love for him. He was shocked and asked if I was joking, but I was starting to cry a little at this point, so he knew I was serious. My bio-children were very surprised too. He was in tears and asked me why I didn't tell him sooner. I didn't know what to say and said "I was just trying to protect you, I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me", but unfortunately and understandably, he left.</p>\\n\\n<p>He didn't talk to me as much, again, understandably so. I continuously offered him to go out to the park and play a bit of football (he loves that) and all his favourite things, but he just outright declined and even got a little angry sometimes for me even talking to him. I thought I messed up big-time, until one day while my wife and two children were out doing shopping and we were alone, he came up to me and said "I know you're not my real father, but I want to let you know you're the best dad in the whole world. Sorry for before." I hugged him and things got pretty emotional. It would be a big lie to say my house is normal now (far from that), but things are slowly - ever so slowly - starting to brighten up. There's no longer anything to hide anymore and it feels like we are born again.</p>\\n\\n<p>Josh is a tough kid, and he handled this far better than I believed he would. I'll be looking into therapy for him to help him recover just incase it doesn't go well in the long run. I'll strive and continue to be a great dad to my kids, and a great dad to my brother/son. Thank you Reddit for pushing me towards this happy ending. Thank you for all the advice and judgements I got (excluding the rude ones about my uncles and aunts -- eeek!) I love you all. Good night.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_etguwh\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for letting my brother call me \\\"dad\\\" and refusing to tell him the ugly truth?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 38523, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.98, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/etguwh/update_aita_for_letting_my_brother_call_me_dad/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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When my Mom was ill and using a wheelchair, the disabled parking at her doctor's office was cut in 1/2 because of construction. Usually, they had 2 full rows that were designated disabled and they were often filled. I would use a disabled parking spot to unload Mom, and the aid would take her in. Then I would move the car to the back 40 to park. Reverse when we left. They also had free valet parking, but Mom took so long to transfer they asked us to use the disabled parking. One day we were leaving and I went to get the car and parked in a disabled spot. I hopped out and started opening the doors to transfer Mom while the aid brought her out This woman started screaming at me and security had to get between us to keep her from hitting me. They explained I was picking up my Mom and if she would wait a moment, she could park there when we left. At a later visit, she did apologize. She was the sole caretaker for a sick parent and was having a very bad day. The trip they were on was an emergency one because of the bad results of a blood test.
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hidzc5
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4b3ea443d37f4f55
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA (likely United States based on educational terminology and references to 'my district', US school systems, and American educational policies)", "occupation": "Teacher (explicitly states 'I'm a teacher' and 'ESL certified Teacher'; references extensive classroom experience including teaching 5th grade and working with various student populations)", "nationality": "NA (likely American based on context)", "other": "Has hearing loss diagnosed at age 7, learned to read lips; has severe allergies that can be touch allergies; has extended family including mother, nephew, and cousins; has worked in education for multiple years based on references to 'first year teaching' and subsequent experiences"}, "interests": ["Child welfare and protection systems, frequently discussing CPS protocols and reporting procedures", "Educational policy and institutional procedures, particularly around student safety and custody issues", 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advocating for reporting abuse and implementing safety measures ('Report her racist child neglect to the licensing agencies')", "Supporting victims over perpetrators, stating 'she DOES NOT get to pass on her trauma to her 11-year-old cousin'", "Holding adults accountable for child welfare, emphasizing 'Failure to protect a child from abuse and failure to report ongoing abuse is a crime for mandated reporters'", "Respecting cultural and linguistic diversity, defending a student's right to speak Hindi: 'It sounds like Anya is so fluent in English that the husband doesn't realize she can only communicate some concepts/feelings in Hindi'", "Supporting LGBTQ+ families and transgender rights, providing detailed protective measures for a transgender father", "Advocating for proper educational accommodations for diverse learners, suggesting alternatives to traditional family tree projects", "Believing in institutional responsibility and systemic solutions rather than individual blame", "Valuing evidence-based approaches and documentation ('Keep it and keep documenting')", "Opposing racism and discrimination, calling out 'racist child neglect' at a daycare", "Supporting children's bodily autonomy and consent, defending a teen's right to refuse being photographed", "Believing education should be inclusive and trauma-informed, creating 'family circles' instead of family trees", "Advocating for professional boundaries and proper training in child-related fields"], "communication": ["Writes lengthy, detailed responses averaging 200-400 words, often exceeding 500 words with comprehensive information", "Frequently uses personal anecdotes from teaching experience to illustrate points ('My first year teaching, the art teacher alerted me...')", "Employs bullet-pointed lists for clarity and organization, particularly when providing procedural instructions", "Uses technical educational terminology and acronyms (ESL, SPED, 504, G&T, BIL, Title IX) without explanation, assuming familiarity", "Provides step-by-step instructions and detailed procedural guidance ('Have a notarized letter signed by both parents...')", "Uses strong advocacy language and direct statements ('NTA', 'he is guilty of criminal child neglect')", "Shares institutional knowledge and systemic perspectives ('The district started a new policy...')", "Includes specific examples and concrete details rather than abstract advice", "Employs empathetic but firm tone when discussing child welfare issues", "References legal and policy frameworks to support recommendations", "Uses Reddit-specific terminology ('NTA') while maintaining professional educator voice", "Structures responses with clear problem identification, evidence, and actionable solutions"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 250-350 words, with many responses exceeding 400 words", "Minimum response length around 30-50 words for brief affirmations", "Maximum response length exceeds 600 words in detailed procedural 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[{"content": "AITA for not telling someone I can read lips\n\nThis happened pre COVID btw.\n\nI've had hearing loss for most of my life , but it was diagnosed when I was about 7 years old. So I learned to read lips at the same time I was learning to speak. I'm very proficient in reading lips.\n\nWhenever I work with someone new, I make sure to let them know that I have hearing loss and to make sure that they are facing me and I'm aware they're talkin to me.\n\nI've never actually mentioned to any co-workers that I could read lips & but I'm pretty sure most of them at least suspect it strongly.\n\nA new co-worker started and I did my customary introduction and disclaimer about my hearing. \n\nI don't think she believed me because she got very offended when I ignored her. The problem being she was trying to get my attention from behind me and I genuinely did not hear her. Once someone got my attention I apologize to her and pointed out that I did have hearing loss and I wasn't aware that she was talking to me.\n\nA few days later she was venting to a mutual coworker. The only problem was she was facing me and I could read her lips perfectly. \n\nAfter a few minutes I approached her and let her know that if she was going to s*** talk someone she needed to make sure they couldn't understand her and that I was reading her lips the entire time.\n\nI told her I was upset that she wouldn't just come to me, and that I did tell her twice that I was partially deaf and couldn't hear her. She freaked out because apparently I was being rude by reading her lips when she was facing me", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1593482422.0, \"created_utc\": 1593482422.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hidzc5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 837, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24752, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"This happened pre COVID btw.\\n\\nI've had hearing loss for most of my life , but it was diagnosed when I was about 7 years old. So I learned to read lips at the same time I was learning to speak. I'm very proficient in reading lips.\\n\\nWhenever I work with someone new, I make sure to let them know that I have hearing loss and to make sure that they are facing me and I'm aware they're talkin to me.\\n\\nI've never actually mentioned to any co-workers that I could read lips & but I'm pretty sure most of them at least suspect it strongly.\\n\\nA new co-worker started and I did my customary introduction and disclaimer about my hearing. \\n\\nI don't think she believed me because she got very offended when I ignored her. The problem being she was trying to get my attention from behind me and I genuinely did not hear her. Once someone got my attention I apologize to her and pointed out that I did have hearing loss and I wasn't aware that she was talking to me.\\n\\nA few days later she was venting to a mutual coworker. The only problem was she was facing me and I could read her lips perfectly. \\n\\nAfter a few minutes I approached her and let her know that if she was going to s*** talk someone she needed to make sure they couldn't understand her and that I was reading her lips the entire time.\\n\\nI told her I was upset that she wouldn't just come to me, and that I did tell her twice that I was partially deaf and couldn't hear her. She freaked out because apparently I was being rude by reading her lips when she was facing me\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This happened pre COVID btw.</p>\\n\\n<p>I've had hearing loss for most of my life , but it was diagnosed when I was about 7 years old. So I learned to read lips at the same time I was learning to speak. I'm very proficient in reading lips.</p>\\n\\n<p>Whenever I work with someone new, I make sure to let them know that I have hearing loss and to make sure that they are facing me and I'm aware they're talkin to me.</p>\\n\\n<p>I've never actually mentioned to any co-workers that I could read lips & but I'm pretty sure most of them at least suspect it strongly.</p>\\n\\n<p>A new co-worker started and I did my customary introduction and disclaimer about my hearing. </p>\\n\\n<p>I don't think she believed me because she got very offended when I ignored her. The problem being she was trying to get my attention from behind me and I genuinely did not hear her. Once someone got my attention I apologize to her and pointed out that I did have hearing loss and I wasn't aware that she was talking to me.</p>\\n\\n<p>A few days later she was venting to a mutual coworker. The only problem was she was facing me and I could read her lips perfectly. </p>\\n\\n<p>After a few minutes I approached her and let her know that if she was going to s*** talk someone she needed to make sure they couldn't understand her and that I was reading her lips the entire time.</p>\\n\\n<p>I told her I was upset that she wouldn't just come to me, and that I did tell her twice that I was partially deaf and couldn't hear her. She freaked out because apparently I was being rude by reading her lips when she was facing me</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not telling someone I can read lips\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24752, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Sounds like you taught her a very important lesson and she was embarrassed. Glad you called her out and stuck up for yourself.", "role": "abis7", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"abis7\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ab8c0e\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [30]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2dh5it1g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Sounds like you taught her a very important lesson and she was embarrassed. Glad you called her out and stuck up for yourself.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Sounds like you taught her a very important lesson and she was embarrassed. Glad you called her out and stuck up for yourself.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1593482734.0, \"created_utc\": 1593482734.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fwflzge\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fwflzge\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/fwflzge/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24630, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24630, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "It really is amazing how people don\u2019t believe in disabilities and then get grumpy when they\u2019re embarrassed.", "role": "adeiner", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"adeiner\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [5]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1493i2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"It really is amazing how people don\\u2019t believe in disabilities and then get grumpy when they\\u2019re embarrassed.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>It really is amazing how people don\\u2019t believe in disabilities and then get grumpy when they\\u2019re embarrassed.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, 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One time, him and another friend parked in a handicap spot, obviously with a tag, but this dude didn\u2019t see the tag. \n\nHe yells \u201chey asshole, you can\u2019t park there!\u201d\n\nBuddy gets out of the passenger seat, walks to the back, pulls out the wheelchair, sets it down by the driver door, pulls out the paralyzed guy, plops him in the wheelchair. \n\nThey both flip him the finger and roll into the mall.", "role": "nurse_camper", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"nurse_camper\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [6]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_ayqds\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I had a buddy who drove a fancy sports car, but he was in a wheelchair. One time, him and another friend parked in a handicap spot, obviously with a tag, but this dude didn\\u2019t see the tag. \\n\\nHe yells \\u201chey asshole, you can\\u2019t park there!\\u201d\\n\\nBuddy gets out of the passenger seat, walks to the back, pulls out the wheelchair, sets it down by the driver door, pulls out the paralyzed guy, plops him in the wheelchair. \\n\\nThey both flip him the finger and roll into the mall.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I had a buddy who drove a fancy sports car, but he was in a wheelchair. One time, him and another friend parked in a handicap spot, obviously with a tag, but this dude didn\\u2019t see the tag. </p>\\n\\n<p>He yells \\u201chey asshole, you can\\u2019t park there!\\u201d</p>\\n\\n<p>Buddy gets out of the passenger seat, walks to the back, pulls out the wheelchair, sets it down by the driver door, pulls out the paralyzed guy, plops him in the wheelchair. </p>\\n\\n<p>They both flip him the finger and roll into the mall.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1593500248.0, \"created_utc\": 1593500248.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fwgak25\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fwgak25\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fwg0ftm\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/fwgak25/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 672, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 672, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I drive a piece of shit station wagon and I get yelled at semi-frequently for parking in accessible spots with my placard because I look \"too young to be disabled\" and must be using grandma's placard or something. It's infuriating. Once on post a pregnant officer's wife started yelling at me for parking in the accessible spot because she wanted it. She didn't even have a placard, she was just pregnant. She followed me into the PX screaming at me and I guess she assumed I was a dependa like her not a vet, but security shut her down.", "role": "argle_de_blargle", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"argle_de_blargle\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_go7tz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I drive a piece of shit station wagon and I get yelled at semi-frequently for parking in accessible spots with my placard because I look \\\"too young to be disabled\\\" and must be using grandma's placard or something. It's infuriating. Once on post a pregnant officer's wife started yelling at me for parking in the accessible spot because she wanted it. She didn't even have a placard, she was just pregnant. She followed me into the PX screaming at me and I guess she assumed I was a dependa like her not a vet, but security shut her down.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I drive a piece of shit station wagon and I get yelled at semi-frequently for parking in accessible spots with my placard because I look "too young to be disabled" and must be using grandma's placard or something. It's infuriating. Once on post a pregnant officer's wife started yelling at me for parking in the accessible spot because she wanted it. She didn't even have a placard, she was just pregnant. She followed me into the PX screaming at me and I guess she assumed I was a dependa like her not a vet, but security shut her down.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1593506609.0, \"created_utc\": 1593506609.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1593541248.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fwgh6tf\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fwgh6tf\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fwgak25\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/fwgh6tf/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 156, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 156, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I hate when people are like this! My son in law (daughter\u2019s husband) is a combat-disabled veteran but isn\u2019t in a wheelchair. Because they can\u2019t see his scars they assume he isn\u2019t disabled. There are some days when his pain is unbearable and having the placard and being able to park close really helps. Once when he and my daughter were working at a polling station (election voting booths) he had parked in a disabled parking space when they arrived. Later, my daughter went out to get into their car in order to go pick up lunch. A woman who had been in voting saw her and starting screaming at her for not being disabled. When she explained the situation to the woman, the woman did not believe that her husband was disabled. I wrote a letter to the editor for our local paper about having not visible war wounds and disabilities and the irony of the woman having the freedom to vote but begrudging a disabled veteran his parking space.", "role": "Tawanda64", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Tawanda64\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3c3s7dvq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I hate when people are like this! My son in law (daughter\\u2019s husband) is a combat-disabled veteran but isn\\u2019t in a wheelchair. Because they can\\u2019t see his scars they assume he isn\\u2019t disabled. There are some days when his pain is unbearable and having the placard and being able to park close really helps. Once when he and my daughter were working at a polling station (election voting booths) he had parked in a disabled parking space when they arrived. Later, my daughter went out to get into their car in order to go pick up lunch. A woman who had been in voting saw her and starting screaming at her for not being disabled. When she explained the situation to the woman, the woman did not believe that her husband was disabled. I wrote a letter to the editor for our local paper about having not visible war wounds and disabilities and the irony of the woman having the freedom to vote but begrudging a disabled veteran his parking space.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I hate when people are like this! My son in law (daughter\\u2019s husband) is a combat-disabled veteran but isn\\u2019t in a wheelchair. Because they can\\u2019t see his scars they assume he isn\\u2019t disabled. There are some days when his pain is unbearable and having the placard and being able to park close really helps. Once when he and my daughter were working at a polling station (election voting booths) he had parked in a disabled parking space when they arrived. Later, my daughter went out to get into their car in order to go pick up lunch. A woman who had been in voting saw her and starting screaming at her for not being disabled. When she explained the situation to the woman, the woman did not believe that her husband was disabled. I wrote a letter to the editor for our local paper about having not visible war wounds and disabilities and the irony of the woman having the freedom to vote but begrudging a disabled veteran his parking space.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1593513340.0, \"created_utc\": 1593513340.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fwgnvu5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hidzc5\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fwgnvu5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fwgh6tf\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/fwgnvu5/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 136, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 136, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4b3ea443d37f4f55", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "78dfb2de74eaadc3", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "When my Mom was ill and using a wheelchair, the disabled parking at her doctor's office was cut in 1/2 because of construction. Usually, they had 2 full rows that were designated disabled and they were often filled. I would use a disabled parking spot to unload Mom, and the aid would take her in. Then I would move the car to the back 40 to park. Reverse when we left. They also had free valet parking, but Mom took so long to transfer they asked us to use the disabled parking. One day we were leaving and I went to get the car and parked in a disabled spot. I hopped out and started opening the doors to transfer Mom while the aid brought her out This woman started screaming at me and security had to get between us to keep her from hitting me. They explained I was picking up my Mom and if she would wait a moment, she could park there when we left. At a later visit, she did apologize. She was the sole caretaker for a sick parent and was having a very bad day. The trip they were on was an emergency one because of the bad results of a blood test.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>When my Mom was ill and using a wheelchair, the disabled parking at her doctor's office was cut in 1/2 because of construction. Usually, they had 2 full rows that were designated disabled and they were often filled. I would use a disabled parking spot to unload Mom, and the aid would take her in. Then I would move the car to the back 40 to park. Reverse when we left. They also had free valet parking, but Mom took so long to transfer they asked us to use the disabled parking. One day we were leaving and I went to get the car and parked in a disabled spot. I hopped out and started opening the doors to transfer Mom while the aid brought her out This woman started screaming at me and security had to get between us to keep her from hitting me. They explained I was picking up my Mom and if she would wait a moment, she could park there when we left. At a later visit, she did apologize. She was the sole caretaker for a sick parent and was having a very bad day. The trip they were on was an emergency one because of the bad results of a blood test.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1593530062.0, "created_utc": 1593530062.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fwhd8cu", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hidzc5", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fwhd8cu", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fwgnvu5", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hidzc5/aita_for_not_telling_someone_i_can_read_lips/fwhd8cu/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 5, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 5, "user_reports": []}
|
Such an awful, mercenary way of thinking. The thought doesn't matter, and the usefulness doesn't matter. Only the monetary cost matters when judging the value of a gift. Gross. Such little worlds these people live in.
|
ov7s4p
|
e0888bbe520ed67f
| 1,627,755,962
| 6
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Male (identifies as 'queer dude')", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "LGBTQ+ (specifically identifies as queer)"}, "interests": ["Family conflict dynamics and toxic relationship patterns, particularly involving betrayal and manipulation", "LGBTQ+ rights and issues, especially transgender rights and discrimination (responds supportively to trans pregnancy post)", "Workplace exploitation and labor rights, advocating for fair treatment of employees", "Infidelity and relationship betrayal, noting statistical patterns ('people who cheat and marry the person they were cheating with are extremely likely to then cheat on them too')", "Parental favoritism and unequal treatment of siblings in family systems", "Boundary violations and personal autonomy in relationships", "Gaming culture and references (mentions Werewolf game, engages with gaming chair post)", "True crime and dangerous behavior patterns (references Phil Hartmann case)", "Racism and white supremacy ideology, identifying 'white genocide' beliefs as dangerous", "Workplace photography and creative professions (engages with dog groomer/photographer post)", "Property rights and financial exploitation within families", "Mental health and grief, particularly around loss of family members"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and the right to refuse toxic relationships ('I'm not making her choose because I'm fine not being invited')", "Zero tolerance for bigotry, stating 'his heritage is nothing to be proud of' regarding white supremacist beliefs", "Advocates for consequences and accountability, believing 'if they're making no concessions then it's entirely their fault and they deserve the financial hardship'", "Supports cutting off toxic family members rather than maintaining harmful relationships", "Believes patterns of toxic behavior don't happen in isolation ('This kind of behaviour doesn't happen in a vacuum, which means there's a pattern')", "Values honesty and trust in relationships, stating 'you are NEVER stupid for loving someone and trusting them'", "Opposes traditional patriarchal authority structures, mocking damaged masculinity with sarcasm", "Believes in equal treatment regardless of gender ('if the gender roles were reversed I'm sure nobody would be okay with this')", "Supports workers' rights and fair compensation, opposing exploitation", "Values practical problem-solving over emotional manipulation", "Believes actions should have consequences and people should be held accountable for harm", "Recognizes and calls out narcissistic behavior patterns in relationships"], "communication": ["Uses sharp, pointed sarcasm to emphasize absurdity ('pink unicorn sticky tape to repair that damaged masculinity,' 'yak pheromones whilst in the Himalayas')", "Employs analytical thinking to identify behavioral patterns and predict outcomes", "Makes cultural and pop culture references to illustrate points (Phil Hartmann, Wile E. Coyote, Werewolf game)", "Writes in direct, no-nonsense style with clear logical progression", "Uses rhetorical questions effectively ('What kind of idiotic boss drives away their best employee?')", "Provides practical, actionable advice alongside moral judgments ('remember to include the cost of your alternative accommodation')", "Varies response length based on complexity of situation, from brief one-liners to detailed paragraphs", "Uses parenthetical asides and em-dashes to add nuance or corrections to statements", "Employs dark humor when discussing serious topics", "Frequently identifies power dynamics and control issues in relationships", "Uses phrases like 'NTA' and Reddit-specific terminology naturally", "Acknowledges when they may have misread situations and corrects themselves"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from approximately 15 words (brief comments) to 150+ words (detailed analyses)", "Average response length approximately 40-60 words", "Frequently uses phrases like 'NTA,' 'toxic,' 'boundaries,' 'patterns of behavior,' 'consequences'", "Often begins responses with direct judgment or identification of core issue", "Uses em-dashes and parenthetical statements regularly for clarification", "Employs rhetorical questions in approximately 30% of responses", "Makes cultural references or analogies in about 20% of responses", "Uses sarcasm or dark humor in approximately 40% of responses", "Typically structures longer responses with clear logical flow: identification of problem, analysis of pattern, recommendation for action", "Vocabulary level is sophisticated with terms like 'mercenary,' 'narcissist,' 'autonomy,' 'coddled,' 'entitlement'"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for no longer making toys and furniture for my former SIL after her new husband called them an \u201cembarrassment\u201d and me cheap for not paying for stuff?\n\nMy brother died before his firstborn child was born, because of this I've had an above average involvement in my nephews life. One thing I\u2019ve always done is build him toys and furniture. It was a way of providing without the awkwardness of handing over cash. Also, between my late brothers cash and life insurance via work a trust was setup for my nephew for ~\u00a3500,000. He wasn\u2019t actually married to my SIL.\n\nNow via the lab at work I\u2019ve made him a lot of wooden or 3d printed toys, but also some simple handmade electronic toys. My sister in law was always grateful for these and my nephew (by all accounts) loves his custom toys.\n\nFast forward 3 years and my former sister in law has gotten married. I was attending my nephews third birthday and I turned up the night before to assemble his present. It was a small climbing frame/Swing set I had watched better carpenters than me in the lab make.\n\nThe new husband was a little standoffish but come the day of the party he was telling anyone who listened that I didn\u2019t pay or make the present I had lackies at work do it for free. This culminated in him calling all my \u201cpresents\u201d an embarrassment and given my fancy job I could afford to splash some cash.\n\nI confronted him and my former SIL and she basically confirmed that whilst the presents were appreciated she honestly expected more direct support from me after my brothers death. My mother stepped in and reminded her my brother paid for this house and they regularly take cash out of the trust (approx \u00a310,000 a year).\n\nWe walked out without hearing any worthwhile response but I continued to see my nephew without incident. 6-7 months go by and I\u2019m visiting only to be told my former SIL was pregnant with twins and she was wondering if I could make some duplicates of items I made for my nephew as they needed two sets.\n\nI scoffed, said she had balls asking me to make stuff after she was so ungrateful and I owe her unborn children very little. She got upset and explained her prior statements about my handmade gifts and said she felt they were the kinda little things someone did as a favour. Not what a family provides. That\u2019s why she\u2019s asking me now as a friend to do her a \u201cfavour\u201d and manufacture duplicates.\n\nI said no, again, and her husband shouted through that it didn\u2019t matter they would just use the trust to provide for kids like it\u2019s supposed to. I retorted that it was for my nephew and good luck accessing it for that because the trust requires my signature to pay out.\n\nI wasn\u2019t even home before he was calling me to apologise, clearly unaware I held the reigns to my late brothers money. The apology was insincere and I asked to speak to my former SIL where I confirmed again I wouldn\u2019t be manufacturing her anything. I\u2019ll still be an uncle to my nephew and be impartial when it comes to her accessing my nephews trust but her husband has burned a lot my goodwill with this.\n\nAITA for not doing her a favour after all that?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1627740488.0, \"created_utc\": 1627740488.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ov7s4p\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ov7s4p\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1646, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ov7s4p/aita_for_no_longer_making_toys_and_furniture_for/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28143, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My brother died before his firstborn child was born, because of this I've had an above average involvement in my nephews life. One thing I\\u2019ve always done is build him toys and furniture. It was a way of providing without the awkwardness of handing over cash. Also, between my late brothers cash and life insurance via work a trust was setup for my nephew for ~\\u00a3500,000. He wasn\\u2019t actually married to my SIL.\\n\\nNow via the lab at work I\\u2019ve made him a lot of wooden or 3d printed toys, but also some simple handmade electronic toys. My sister in law was always grateful for these and my nephew (by all accounts) loves his custom toys.\\n\\nFast forward 3 years and my former sister in law has gotten married. I was attending my nephews third birthday and I turned up the night before to assemble his present. It was a small climbing frame/Swing set I had watched better carpenters than me in the lab make.\\n\\nThe new husband was a little standoffish but come the day of the party he was telling anyone who listened that I didn\\u2019t pay or make the present I had lackies at work do it for free. This culminated in him calling all my \\u201cpresents\\u201d an embarrassment and given my fancy job I could afford to splash some cash.\\n\\nI confronted him and my former SIL and she basically confirmed that whilst the presents were appreciated she honestly expected more direct support from me after my brothers death. My mother stepped in and reminded her my brother paid for this house and they regularly take cash out of the trust (approx \\u00a310,000 a year).\\n\\nWe walked out without hearing any worthwhile response but I continued to see my nephew without incident. 6-7 months go by and I\\u2019m visiting only to be told my former SIL was pregnant with twins and she was wondering if I could make some duplicates of items I made for my nephew as they needed two sets.\\n\\nI scoffed, said she had balls asking me to make stuff after she was so ungrateful and I owe her unborn children very little. She got upset and explained her prior statements about my handmade gifts and said she felt they were the kinda little things someone did as a favour. Not what a family provides. That\\u2019s why she\\u2019s asking me now as a friend to do her a \\u201cfavour\\u201d and manufacture duplicates.\\n\\nI said no, again, and her husband shouted through that it didn\\u2019t matter they would just use the trust to provide for kids like it\\u2019s supposed to. I retorted that it was for my nephew and good luck accessing it for that because the trust requires my signature to pay out.\\n\\nI wasn\\u2019t even home before he was calling me to apologise, clearly unaware I held the reigns to my late brothers money. The apology was insincere and I asked to speak to my former SIL where I confirmed again I wouldn\\u2019t be manufacturing her anything. I\\u2019ll still be an uncle to my nephew and be impartial when it comes to her accessing my nephews trust but her husband has burned a lot my goodwill with this.\\n\\nAITA for not doing her a favour after all that?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My brother died before his firstborn child was born, because of this I've had an above average involvement in my nephews life. One thing I\\u2019ve always done is build him toys and furniture. It was a way of providing without the awkwardness of handing over cash. Also, between my late brothers cash and life insurance via work a trust was setup for my nephew for ~\\u00a3500,000. He wasn\\u2019t actually married to my SIL.</p>\\n\\n<p>Now via the lab at work I\\u2019ve made him a lot of wooden or 3d printed toys, but also some simple handmade electronic toys. My sister in law was always grateful for these and my nephew (by all accounts) loves his custom toys.</p>\\n\\n<p>Fast forward 3 years and my former sister in law has gotten married. I was attending my nephews third birthday and I turned up the night before to assemble his present. It was a small climbing frame/Swing set I had watched better carpenters than me in the lab make.</p>\\n\\n<p>The new husband was a little standoffish but come the day of the party he was telling anyone who listened that I didn\\u2019t pay or make the present I had lackies at work do it for free. This culminated in him calling all my \\u201cpresents\\u201d an embarrassment and given my fancy job I could afford to splash some cash.</p>\\n\\n<p>I confronted him and my former SIL and she basically confirmed that whilst the presents were appreciated she honestly expected more direct support from me after my brothers death. My mother stepped in and reminded her my brother paid for this house and they regularly take cash out of the trust (approx \\u00a310,000 a year).</p>\\n\\n<p>We walked out without hearing any worthwhile response but I continued to see my nephew without incident. 6-7 months go by and I\\u2019m visiting only to be told my former SIL was pregnant with twins and she was wondering if I could make some duplicates of items I made for my nephew as they needed two sets.</p>\\n\\n<p>I scoffed, said she had balls asking me to make stuff after she was so ungrateful and I owe her unborn children very little. She got upset and explained her prior statements about my handmade gifts and said she felt they were the kinda little things someone did as a favour. Not what a family provides. That\\u2019s why she\\u2019s asking me now as a friend to do her a \\u201cfavour\\u201d and manufacture duplicates.</p>\\n\\n<p>I said no, again, and her husband shouted through that it didn\\u2019t matter they would just use the trust to provide for kids like it\\u2019s supposed to. I retorted that it was for my nephew and good luck accessing it for that because the trust requires my signature to pay out.</p>\\n\\n<p>I wasn\\u2019t even home before he was calling me to apologise, clearly unaware I held the reigns to my late brothers money. The apology was insincere and I asked to speak to my former SIL where I confirmed again I wouldn\\u2019t be manufacturing her anything. I\\u2019ll still be an uncle to my nephew and be impartial when it comes to her accessing my nephews trust but her husband has burned a lot my goodwill with this.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for not doing her a favour after all that?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": false, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ov7s4p\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for no longer making toys and furniture for my former SIL after her new husband called them an \\u201cembarrassment\\u201d and me cheap for not paying for stuff?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28143, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.92, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ov7s4p/aita_for_no_longer_making_toys_and_furniture_for/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. First, my condolences on the loss of your brother. Your SIL is beyond entitled! She lives in a house for by your late brother and benefits from a trust and then has the gall to criticize your gifts to your nephew, OUTRAGEOUS!", "role": "Walktothebrook", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Walktothebrook\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#dd9900\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"91f5b732-f8a6-11e8-9be0-0e9cbded19c2\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Commander in Cheeks [203]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8un4i77n\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. First, my condolences on the loss of your brother. Your SIL is beyond entitled! She lives in a house for by your late brother and benefits from a trust and then has the gall to criticize your gifts to your nephew, OUTRAGEOUS!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. First, my condolences on the loss of your brother. Your SIL is beyond entitled! She lives in a house for by your late brother and benefits from a trust and then has the gall to criticize your gifts to your nephew, OUTRAGEOUS!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1627740959.0, \"created_utc\": 1627740959.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h77cyfy\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, 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\"author\": \"Nanadaquiri\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8mbzvdok\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Trying to please the new husband.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Trying to please the new husband.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, 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\"ups\": 381, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Either that or this is the way she's always been and her new husband just let the cat out of the bag.", "role": "RedoftheEvilDead", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"RedoftheEvilDead\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1jbga1qa\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Either that or this is the way she's always been and her new husband just let the cat out of the bag.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Either that or this is the way she's always been and her new husband just let the cat out of the bag.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1627748006.0, \"created_utc\": 1627748006.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h77rg8q\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, 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I think she thinks lowly of the gifts too.", "role": "Defan3", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Defan3\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_c6liuzzy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yes I agree. I think she thinks lowly of the gifts too.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yes I agree. I think she thinks lowly of the gifts too.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1627749297.0, \"created_utc\": 1627749297.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h77u6hl\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ov7s4p\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h77u6hl\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h77rg8q\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ov7s4p/aita_for_no_longer_making_toys_and_furniture_for/h77u6hl/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 125, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 125, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "My mothers take on it (and she\u2019s spoken to them subsequently) is that they know the gifts have value to them, it\u2019s just the gifts didn\u2019t cost me anything so I still \u201cowe\u201d something.\n\nAs in there\u2019s an obligation. As his uncle I \u201cowe\u201d him X and should put aside that amount for him. Because I used the equipment and materials from work I\u2019m not spending anything so that money still exists and he\u2019s owed it. Basically they\u2019re indignant that I\u2019m not being deprived by the gifts so I have the capacity to do more.\n\nMy mother said it\u2019s like those kids who don\u2019t consider hand-me-downs as suitable birthday presents. If it didn\u2019t cost someone something they still owe you.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"My mothers take on it (and she\\u2019s spoken to them subsequently) is that they know the gifts have value to them, it\\u2019s just the gifts didn\\u2019t cost me anything so I still \\u201cowe\\u201d something.\\n\\nAs in there\\u2019s an obligation. As his uncle I \\u201cowe\\u201d him X and should put aside that amount for him. Because I used the equipment and materials from work I\\u2019m not spending anything so that money still exists and he\\u2019s owed it. Basically they\\u2019re indignant that I\\u2019m not being deprived by the gifts so I have the capacity to do more.\\n\\nMy mother said it\\u2019s like those kids who don\\u2019t consider hand-me-downs as suitable birthday presents. If it didn\\u2019t cost someone something they still owe you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My mothers take on it (and she\\u2019s spoken to them subsequently) is that they know the gifts have value to them, it\\u2019s just the gifts didn\\u2019t cost me anything so I still \\u201cowe\\u201d something.</p>\\n\\n<p>As in there\\u2019s an obligation. As his uncle I \\u201cowe\\u201d him X and should put aside that amount for him. Because I used the equipment and materials from work I\\u2019m not spending anything so that money still exists and he\\u2019s owed it. Basically they\\u2019re indignant that I\\u2019m not being deprived by the gifts so I have the capacity to do more.</p>\\n\\n<p>My mother said it\\u2019s like those kids who don\\u2019t consider hand-me-downs as suitable birthday presents. If it didn\\u2019t cost someone something they still owe you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1627750796.0, \"created_utc\": 1627750796.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h77xc7c\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ov7s4p\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h77xc7c\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h77u6hl\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ov7s4p/aita_for_no_longer_making_toys_and_furniture_for/h77xc7c/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 694, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 694, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e0888bbe520ed67f", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "2f07eaa4029c5e14", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Such an awful, mercenary way of thinking. The thought doesn't matter, and the usefulness doesn't matter. Only the monetary cost matters when judging the value of a gift. Gross. Such little worlds these people live in.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Such an awful, mercenary way of thinking. The thought doesn't matter, and the usefulness doesn't matter. Only the monetary cost matters when judging the value of a gift. Gross. Such little worlds these people live in.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1627755962.0, "created_utc": 1627755962.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h7884hl", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ov7s4p", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h7884hl", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h77xc7c", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ov7s4p/aita_for_no_longer_making_toys_and_furniture_for/h7884hl/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
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NTA. I laughed. That’s awesome! Maybe mamas got to learn a new phrase because if she didn’t ask what gets her goat enough for OP to notice, he wouldn’t have gone there.
|
tb6ywm
|
3f89b628394609f8
| 1,646,943,900
| 2
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[{"content": "AITA for teaching my (20M) niece (4F) to say \"el chupacabra\"when her mom (32F) says \"you know what really gets my goat?\"\n\nUh basically title I guess. My sister has a habit of saying \"you know what really gets my goat\", she probly says it 7/8 times a day. So like that tumblr post i taught my niece to say \"el chupacabra\" when her mom says it (it sounds more like \"eh supacaba\" tho cause shes four but its adorable). I told my niece it was a monster from Mexico that eats goats and she didnt seem scared or anything, probly cause the only monster she knows is cookie monster, but apparently now my niece walks around the house saying \"el chupacabra!\" all day and now my sister & brother in law are mad at me for teaching her this, but imo its kind of adorable and also harmless?? But like shes my sisters kid so idk.", "role": "chupacabrathrowra", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"chupacabrathrowra\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_kk2uxnpy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1646941301.0, \"created_utc\": 1646941301.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"tb6ywm\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_tb6ywm\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2512, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tb6ywm/aita_for_teaching_my_20m_niece_4f_to_say_el/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 30633, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Uh basically title I guess. My sister has a habit of saying \\\"you know what really gets my goat\\\", she probly says it 7/8 times a day. So like that tumblr post i taught my niece to say \\\"el chupacabra\\\" when her mom says it (it sounds more like \\\"eh supacaba\\\" tho cause shes four but its adorable). I told my niece it was a monster from Mexico that eats goats and she didnt seem scared or anything, probly cause the only monster she knows is cookie monster, but apparently now my niece walks around the house saying \\\"el chupacabra!\\\" all day and now my sister & brother in law are mad at me for teaching her this, but imo its kind of adorable and also harmless?? But like shes my sisters kid so idk.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Uh basically title I guess. My sister has a habit of saying "you know what really gets my goat", she probly says it 7/8 times a day. So like that tumblr post i taught my niece to say "el chupacabra" when her mom says it (it sounds more like "eh supacaba" tho cause shes four but its adorable). I told my niece it was a monster from Mexico that eats goats and she didnt seem scared or anything, probly cause the only monster she knows is cookie monster, but apparently now my niece walks around the house saying "el chupacabra!" all day and now my sister & brother in law are mad at me for teaching her this, but imo its kind of adorable and also harmless?? But like shes my sisters kid so idk.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_tb6ywm\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for teaching my (20M) niece (4F) to say \\\"el chupacabra\\\"when her mom (32F) says \\\"you know what really gets my goat?\\\"\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 30633, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tb6ywm/aita_for_teaching_my_20m_niece_4f_to_say_el/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NAH. It's hilarious and cute and you are not an asshole for doing it, but also the kid's parents are not assholes for being annoyed when they have to hear it 24/7.", "role": "CuniculusVincitOmnia", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"CuniculusVincitOmnia\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9xtndma\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NAH. It's hilarious and cute and you are not an asshole for doing it, but also the kid's parents are not assholes for being annoyed when they have to hear it 24/7.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NAH. It's hilarious and cute and you are not an asshole for doing it, but also the kid's parents are not assholes for being annoyed when they have to hear it 24/7.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1646943785.0, \"created_utc\": 1646943785.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i05ghac\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_tb6ywm\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i05ghac\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_tb6ywm\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tb6ywm/aita_for_teaching_my_20m_niece_4f_to_say_el/i05ghac/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 73, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 73, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3f89b628394609f8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "089f2527dddee31e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. I laughed. That\u2019s awesome! Maybe mamas got to learn a new phrase because if she didn\u2019t ask what gets her goat enough for OP to notice, he wouldn\u2019t have gone there.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. I laughed. That\u2019s awesome! Maybe mamas got to learn a new phrase because if she didn\u2019t ask what gets her goat enough for OP to notice, he wouldn\u2019t have gone there.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1646943900.0, "created_utc": 1646943900.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i05grqz", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_tb6ywm", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i05grqz", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i05ghac", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tb6ywm/aita_for_teaching_my_20m_niece_4f_to_say_el/i05grqz/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "You're saying it like she needs a consequence for using a harmless saying", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>You're saying it like she needs a consequence for using a harmless saying</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1646955173.0, "created_utc": 1646955173.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i068cy3", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_tb6ywm", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i068cy3", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i05grqz", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tb6ywm/aita_for_teaching_my_20m_niece_4f_to_say_el/i068cy3/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3f89b628394609f8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "089f2527dddee31e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Not my intention she uses it enough to become a catch phrase\u2026it can get annoying.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Not my intention she uses it enough to become a catch phrase\u2026it can get annoying.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1647032496.0, "created_utc": 1647032496.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i0afa7i", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_tb6ywm", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i0afa7i", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, 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INFO- Do you live in the house together? Is it paid off or will he be paying for it? If you combine taxes, how will you insure that all home expenses (taxes, maintenance, etc) will fall to you?
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k9husr
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0fe6aac42a2201af
| 1,607,480,938
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "Late teens to early 20s (approximately 16-20 years old during 2020 posts based on self-reference)", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Demonstrates knowledge of legal/financial concepts like life estates and prenuptial agreements; has personal experience with alcoholic beverages as a teenager"}, "interests": ["Family inheritance disputes and financial fairness in estate planning", "Legal concepts including prenuptial agreements, life estates, and property rights", "Interpersonal conflict resolution and communication dynamics", "Financial planning and smart money management strategies", "Relationship boundaries and consent issues", "Service animals and disability accommodations", "Gender roles and equality in family dynamics", "Personal accountability and responsibility in relationships", "Real estate and property ownership implications", "Addiction recovery and second chances", "Parent-child relationships and family obligations", "Business competition and entrepreneurship ethics"], "values": ["Direct communication over avoidance: criticizes 'dancing around' issues, stating 'it sounds like you never actually told her you weren't having kids'", "Seeking context before judgment: frequently asks 'INFO' questions like 'have you said you were clean in the past?' and 'how close are the 2 restaurants?'", "Financial pragmatism and smart money management: endorses advice to 'Be smart with that money and get the most good out of it'", "Empathy for vulnerable parties while maintaining realism: defends the 16-year-old babysitter, noting 'How tf was I supposed to know?' about alcoholic drinks", "Skepticism toward extreme or implausible scenarios: states 'This has got to be fake. Nobody is this tone deaf'", "Personal accountability in relationships: emphasizes that 'The dare was changed, it wasn't even the dare any more' regarding consent", "Recognition of long-term consequences: notes 'she might not inherit the house for 40 years or so, which kinda blows the whole \"head start\" idea'", "Appreciation for self-sufficiency: comments 'The self sufficiency they unwittingly gave you, though, will take you further than their money would have'", "Awareness of power dynamics: observes 'You know he's yelled at his wife about it more than once' regarding misogynistic behavior", "Realistic expectations about relationships: warns 'Don't be terribly surprised if your friendship fades' when boundaries are set", "Fairness in financial arrangements: questions whether expenses 'will fall to you' in combined living situations", "Understanding of unintended consequences and honest mistakes"], "communication": ["Concise responses typically ranging from one to three sentences", "Direct, straightforward language without excessive elaboration or flowery prose", "Frequent use of INFO requests to gather context: 'INFO- how close are the 2 restaurants?'", "Casual tone with contractions and informal phrasing: 'How tf was I supposed to know?'", "Personal anecdotes to support arguments: 'When I was around that age, I damn near grabbed a long island iced tea'", "Effective use of rhetorical questions to make points", "Matter-of-fact to slightly sarcastic tone depending on context", "Comfortable with Reddit conventions and abbreviations (ESH, YTA, NTA, INFO)", "Practical, actionable advice when appropriate: explains legal concepts like life estates", "Conditional and hypothetical language: 'If you pay attention to one post, it should be this one'", "Balanced perspective that acknowledges multiple viewpoints: 'ESH' judgments show nuanced thinking"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 30-40 words", "Minimum response length around 15-20 words (single sentence responses)", "Maximum response length around 80-100 words (multi-paragraph explanations)", "Frequently uses 'INFO' as a standalone marker for clarifying questions", "Common conditional phrases: 'if,' 'would,' 'should,' 'could'", "Sentence structure varies from simple declarative to complex conditional statements", "Uses question marks frequently, both for genuine questions and rhetorical effect", "Employs abbreviations and acronyms common to Reddit AITA community", "Occasional use of emphatic language: 'tf,' 'damn near,' 'really'", "Tends toward shorter, punchier sentences rather than long, flowing prose"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for saying that my daughter inherits my house \"no matter what\"?\n\nI'm a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M. \n\nI have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend. I've never explicitly told my daughter \"the house will be yours\" nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense - that's my daughter. Who else would I give it to?\n\nOne important note - There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who's been here as long as I have). Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you're not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.\n\nMy fiance Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I'm excited to help raise them. Steven and I don't have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren't for the house. I told him that I'm ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house. It's a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn't happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child. She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it's split. \n\nI spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.", "role": "GiGiGi3", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"GiGiGi3\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_98e7gf4u\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1607477117.0, \"created_utc\": 1607477117.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"k9husr\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_k9husr\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2149, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k9husr/aita_for_saying_that_my_daughter_inherits_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32841, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M. \\n\\nI have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend. I've never explicitly told my daughter \\\"the house will be yours\\\" nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense - that's my daughter. Who else would I give it to?\\n\\nOne important note - There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who's been here as long as I have). Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you're not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.\\n\\nMy fiance Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I'm excited to help raise them. Steven and I don't have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren't for the house. I told him that I'm ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house. It's a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn't happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child. She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it's split. \\n\\nI spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M. </p>\\n\\n<p>I have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend. I've never explicitly told my daughter "the house will be yours" nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense - that's my daughter. Who else would I give it to?</p>\\n\\n<p>One important note - There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who's been here as long as I have). Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you're not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.</p>\\n\\n<p>My fiance Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I'm excited to help raise them. Steven and I don't have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren't for the house. I told him that I'm ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house. It's a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn't happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child. She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it's split. </p>\\n\\n<p>I spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_k9husr\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for saying that my daughter inherits my house \\\"no matter what\\\"?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32841, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k9husr/aita_for_saying_that_my_daughter_inherits_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0fe6aac42a2201af", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [4]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "1762933348af99e7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "INFO- Do you live in the house together? Is it paid off or will he be paying for it? If you combine taxes, how will you insure that all home expenses (taxes, maintenance, etc) will fall to you?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>INFO- Do you live in the house together? Is it paid off or will he be paying for it? If you combine taxes, how will you insure that all home expenses (taxes, maintenance, etc) will fall to you?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607480938.0, "created_utc": 1607480938.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gf4k0u4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k9husr", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gf4k0u4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_k9husr", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k9husr/aita_for_saying_that_my_daughter_inherits_my/gf4k0u4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 19, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 19, "user_reports": []}
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She came to talk to her parent(s) and she left her phone downstairs, if you recall. Dad did not demand she show it to him nor did he forcibly take it from her hands. I think this was the daughter's way of asking for her dad's help without asking outright. It tells me that she trusts her dad to help her fix a difficult situation, which he did and that makes him NTA imo.
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f9m670
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d5fd138ce261412a
| 1,582,738,097
| 8
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[{"content": "AITA for kicking out a girl from my daughter's sleepover bday party?\n\nMy (34M) daughter (14F) had a sleepover b-day party last saturday, and she invited 5 girls from her school.\n\nThere was this one girl that she invited who I could tell from her attitude, was a spoiled brat. When she rang the doorbell, she walked in looking down at her phone, didn't greet me or my wife, and handed me her jacket without even looking up.\n\nThe whole night she was on her phone doing whatever the heck 14 year olds do on phones. I thought she was just embarrassed or shy because maybe she didn't know anyone, but according to my daughter, she is a \"super duper cool girl\".\n\nAnyways, towards the end of the night, my daughter was opening her gifts. SB made a comment about every single gift. (not exactly snarky, but more like she was just unimpressed)\n\nThe final gift was from me and my wife, we bought her an iPhone 7 by pooling all of our remaining extra money to buy her it.\n\nthe SB scoffed because she had the newest gen iPhone. I helped my daughter set up the phone with a sim card, and the rest of the night they just hung out in her room.\n\nMy daughter came down a bit later and she was just sitting on the couch, I asked her what was wrong and she just went back up while saying \"why couldn't you have just bought me the newest iphone??\". That was really out of character for her, as she is always grateful for receiving anything.\n\nMy daughter left the phone on the table. I grabbed my daughter's phone to see a bunch of texts going back and forth between SB and my daughter, they exchanged numbers and the convo went something like this:\n\nD \"hey its me\"\n\nSB \"thanks for inviting me to ur lame slumber party lol, and congrats on the iphone SEVEN haha\"\n\nD \"what\"\n\nSB: \"arent u mad that ur parents and friends got u such lame gifts\"\n\nSB \"slumber parties are for little girls lol, but wtvs its cool\"\n\nD \"u dont like the party..?\"\n\nSB \"I jus wish i could go home looool\"\n\n\\~end\n\nIt was around 1AM and the girls were still up talking, I knocked and asked if I could speak with SB, she looked confused, I told her she needs to grab her things something came up. (I did this as to not embarrass my daughter in front of her friends).\n\nI took her downstairs and asked her to call her mom, she asked why and I said \"because thats what you said right? that you wish you could go home? so go.\" She was tearing up a bit, and made the call.\n\nI talked w/ her mom for a bit when she came, I showed her the texts and she apologized profusely and said \"its just a teenager phase I guess. I'm so sorry, but dont you think she could stay? If not I understand.\"\n\nI thought ab it for a bit, but her staying probably would have made it awkward for everyone, so I told her it was best if they just left.\n\nMy wife said that I overreacted, and I should have just talked with SB rather than immediately kick her out, I firmly believe I taught her a good lesson that she needed to learn. It was MY DAUGHTER's bday, and I didn't want the rest of her night ruined because of some spoiled brat who was making it all about her. I guess she didn't exactly do anything wrong, but at the same time her attitude was unbelievable. AITA?", "role": "trway21423", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"trway21423\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5s6q0dzc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1582684708.0, \"created_utc\": 1582684708.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1582684882.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"f9m670\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2707, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27024, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My (34M) daughter (14F) had a sleepover b-day party last saturday, and she invited 5 girls from her school.\\n\\nThere was this one girl that she invited who I could tell from her attitude, was a spoiled brat. When she rang the doorbell, she walked in looking down at her phone, didn't greet me or my wife, and handed me her jacket without even looking up.\\n\\nThe whole night she was on her phone doing whatever the heck 14 year olds do on phones. I thought she was just embarrassed or shy because maybe she didn't know anyone, but according to my daughter, she is a \\\"super duper cool girl\\\".\\n\\nAnyways, towards the end of the night, my daughter was opening her gifts. SB made a comment about every single gift. (not exactly snarky, but more like she was just unimpressed)\\n\\nThe final gift was from me and my wife, we bought her an iPhone 7 by pooling all of our remaining extra money to buy her it.\\n\\nthe SB scoffed because she had the newest gen iPhone. I helped my daughter set up the phone with a sim card, and the rest of the night they just hung out in her room.\\n\\nMy daughter came down a bit later and she was just sitting on the couch, I asked her what was wrong and she just went back up while saying \\\"why couldn't you have just bought me the newest iphone??\\\". That was really out of character for her, as she is always grateful for receiving anything.\\n\\nMy daughter left the phone on the table. I grabbed my daughter's phone to see a bunch of texts going back and forth between SB and my daughter, they exchanged numbers and the convo went something like this:\\n\\nD \\\"hey its me\\\"\\n\\nSB \\\"thanks for inviting me to ur lame slumber party lol, and congrats on the iphone SEVEN haha\\\"\\n\\nD \\\"what\\\"\\n\\nSB: \\\"arent u mad that ur parents and friends got u such lame gifts\\\"\\n\\nSB \\\"slumber parties are for little girls lol, but wtvs its cool\\\"\\n\\nD \\\"u dont like the party..?\\\"\\n\\nSB \\\"I jus wish i could go home looool\\\"\\n\\n\\\\~end\\n\\nIt was around 1AM and the girls were still up talking, I knocked and asked if I could speak with SB, she looked confused, I told her she needs to grab her things something came up. (I did this as to not embarrass my daughter in front of her friends).\\n\\nI took her downstairs and asked her to call her mom, she asked why and I said \\\"because thats what you said right? that you wish you could go home? so go.\\\" She was tearing up a bit, and made the call.\\n\\nI talked w/ her mom for a bit when she came, I showed her the texts and she apologized profusely and said \\\"its just a teenager phase I guess. I'm so sorry, but dont you think she could stay? If not I understand.\\\"\\n\\nI thought ab it for a bit, but her staying probably would have made it awkward for everyone, so I told her it was best if they just left.\\n\\nMy wife said that I overreacted, and I should have just talked with SB rather than immediately kick her out, I firmly believe I taught her a good lesson that she needed to learn. It was MY DAUGHTER's bday, and I didn't want the rest of her night ruined because of some spoiled brat who was making it all about her. I guess she didn't exactly do anything wrong, but at the same time her attitude was unbelievable. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My (34M) daughter (14F) had a sleepover b-day party last saturday, and she invited 5 girls from her school.</p>\\n\\n<p>There was this one girl that she invited who I could tell from her attitude, was a spoiled brat. When she rang the doorbell, she walked in looking down at her phone, didn't greet me or my wife, and handed me her jacket without even looking up.</p>\\n\\n<p>The whole night she was on her phone doing whatever the heck 14 year olds do on phones. I thought she was just embarrassed or shy because maybe she didn't know anyone, but according to my daughter, she is a "super duper cool girl".</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyways, towards the end of the night, my daughter was opening her gifts. SB made a comment about every single gift. (not exactly snarky, but more like she was just unimpressed)</p>\\n\\n<p>The final gift was from me and my wife, we bought her an iPhone 7 by pooling all of our remaining extra money to buy her it.</p>\\n\\n<p>the SB scoffed because she had the newest gen iPhone. I helped my daughter set up the phone with a sim card, and the rest of the night they just hung out in her room.</p>\\n\\n<p>My daughter came down a bit later and she was just sitting on the couch, I asked her what was wrong and she just went back up while saying "why couldn't you have just bought me the newest iphone??". That was really out of character for her, as she is always grateful for receiving anything.</p>\\n\\n<p>My daughter left the phone on the table. I grabbed my daughter's phone to see a bunch of texts going back and forth between SB and my daughter, they exchanged numbers and the convo went something like this:</p>\\n\\n<p>D "hey its me"</p>\\n\\n<p>SB "thanks for inviting me to ur lame slumber party lol, and congrats on the iphone SEVEN haha"</p>\\n\\n<p>D "what"</p>\\n\\n<p>SB: "arent u mad that ur parents and friends got u such lame gifts"</p>\\n\\n<p>SB "slumber parties are for little girls lol, but wtvs its cool"</p>\\n\\n<p>D "u dont like the party..?"</p>\\n\\n<p>SB "I jus wish i could go home looool"</p>\\n\\n<p>~end</p>\\n\\n<p>It was around 1AM and the girls were still up talking, I knocked and asked if I could speak with SB, she looked confused, I told her she needs to grab her things something came up. (I did this as to not embarrass my daughter in front of her friends).</p>\\n\\n<p>I took her downstairs and asked her to call her mom, she asked why and I said "because thats what you said right? that you wish you could go home? so go." She was tearing up a bit, and made the call.</p>\\n\\n<p>I talked w/ her mom for a bit when she came, I showed her the texts and she apologized profusely and said "its just a teenager phase I guess. I'm so sorry, but dont you think she could stay? If not I understand."</p>\\n\\n<p>I thought ab it for a bit, but her staying probably would have made it awkward for everyone, so I told her it was best if they just left.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife said that I overreacted, and I should have just talked with SB rather than immediately kick her out, I firmly believe I taught her a good lesson that she needed to learn. It was MY DAUGHTER's bday, and I didn't want the rest of her night ruined because of some spoiled brat who was making it all about her. I guess she didn't exactly do anything wrong, but at the same time her attitude was unbelievable. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for kicking out a girl from my daughter's sleepover bday party?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27024, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. How does your daughter feel about it though?", "role": "EmileaBluems", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"EmileaBluems\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [5]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4axm8ns6\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. How does your daughter feel about it though?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. How does your daughter feel about it though?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1582684941.0, \"created_utc\": 1582684941.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fishiwu\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, 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\"author\": \"trway21423\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5s6q0dzc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"hasn't brought anything up since, and the night of the party after SB left I could hear them laughing and giggling, so I think she's ok\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>hasn't brought anything up since, and the night of the party after SB left I could hear them laughing and giggling, so I think she's ok</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, 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false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fishole\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fishiwu\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fishole/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 21417, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 21417, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I think you should talk to your daughter about the situation just in case she is a bit embarrassed about how you reacted, because if she has a problem with it, she isn\u2019t going to directly tell you. Just go through the situation with her and explain why you reacted the way you did, and ask what she would\u2019ve wanted you to do better.", "role": "toobroketoorderpizza", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"toobroketoorderpizza\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_40w5sm68\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I think you should talk to your daughter about the situation just in case she is a bit embarrassed about how you reacted, because if she has a problem with it, she isn\\u2019t going to directly tell you. Just go through the situation with her and explain why you reacted the way you did, and ask what she would\\u2019ve wanted you to do better.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I think you should talk to your daughter about the situation just in case she is a bit embarrassed about how you reacted, because if she has a problem with it, she isn\\u2019t going to directly tell you. Just go through the situation with her and explain why you reacted the way you did, and ask what she would\\u2019ve wanted you to do better.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1582690322.0, \"created_utc\": 1582690322.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fisq2gm\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fisq2gm\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fishole\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fisq2gm/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2335, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2335, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Plus if she has the full situation from Dad, then when the entitled little brat starts spreading rumours around school she can make the real situation clear if needed.", "role": "KahurangiNZ", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"KahurangiNZ\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_26dbxhq2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Plus if she has the full situation from Dad, then when the entitled little brat starts spreading rumours around school she can make the real situation clear if needed.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Plus if she has the full situation from Dad, then when the entitled little brat starts spreading rumours around school she can make the real situation clear if needed.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1582690802.0, \"created_utc\": 1582690802.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fisqqv7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fisqqv7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fisq2gm\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fisqqv7/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1121, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1121, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "This is a very sweet idea but it makes me think you forgot how eighth/ninth grade works. If this girl is cool, whatever she says is what really happened.\n\nDad needs to talk to his daughter not to give her ammunition to dispute the 'cool' girl (because it won't work) but to see how she felt about him invading her privacy and making that decision for her, to see if she's being picked on because of it, to see if she wants him to intervene in the future, etc.", "role": "HauntingCat", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"HauntingCat\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1256h2c0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"This is a very sweet idea but it makes me think you forgot how eighth/ninth grade works. If this girl is cool, whatever she says is what really happened.\\n\\nDad needs to talk to his daughter not to give her ammunition to dispute the 'cool' girl (because it won't work) but to see how she felt about him invading her privacy and making that decision for her, to see if she's being picked on because of it, to see if she wants him to intervene in the future, etc.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This is a very sweet idea but it makes me think you forgot how eighth/ninth grade works. If this girl is cool, whatever she says is what really happened.</p>\\n\\n<p>Dad needs to talk to his daughter not to give her ammunition to dispute the 'cool' girl (because it won't work) but to see how she felt about him invading her privacy and making that decision for her, to see if she's being picked on because of it, to see if she wants him to intervene in the future, etc.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1582701024.0, \"created_utc\": 1582701024.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fit1xc5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fit1xc5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fisqqv7\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fit1xc5/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 695, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 695, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I\u2019m sorry you feel this way. I 100% support a child\u2019s right to privacy, however this dad wasn\u2019t snooping for snooping sake, he had a gut feeling something was up and he took steps to find out what was wrong. Bullying these days is horrific, relentless, and more often than not carried out via digital methods. Far better to nip it in the bud now. If it was me, I would have done the same thing. \n\nAnd please consider that this dad\u2019s reaction to this information was carried out in an extremely level headed way. Avoided making a scene so as not to impact the other teenagers, confronted the bully with facts and told her to go home. He underlined a zero tolerance for her crap and it just might make this kid think twice about acting this way again.", "role": "singalongyoucrazycat", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"singalongyoucrazycat\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_l45evf\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I\\u2019m sorry you feel this way. I 100% support a child\\u2019s right to privacy, however this dad wasn\\u2019t snooping for snooping sake, he had a gut feeling something was up and he took steps to find out what was wrong. Bullying these days is horrific, relentless, and more often than not carried out via digital methods. Far better to nip it in the bud now. If it was me, I would have done the same thing. \\n\\nAnd please consider that this dad\\u2019s reaction to this information was carried out in an extremely level headed way. Avoided making a scene so as not to impact the other teenagers, confronted the bully with facts and told her to go home. He underlined a zero tolerance for her crap and it just might make this kid think twice about acting this way again.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I\\u2019m sorry you feel this way. I 100% support a child\\u2019s right to privacy, however this dad wasn\\u2019t snooping for snooping sake, he had a gut feeling something was up and he took steps to find out what was wrong. Bullying these days is horrific, relentless, and more often than not carried out via digital methods. Far better to nip it in the bud now. If it was me, I would have done the same thing. </p>\\n\\n<p>And please consider that this dad\\u2019s reaction to this information was carried out in an extremely level headed way. Avoided making a scene so as not to impact the other teenagers, confronted the bully with facts and told her to go home. He underlined a zero tolerance for her crap and it just might make this kid think twice about acting this way again.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1582708164.0, \"created_utc\": 1582708164.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fit7kpj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fit7kpj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fit1xc5\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fit7kpj/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 338, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 338, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "He didn't ask his daughter what she wanted or if she wanted him to intervene. She's 14, not 5. That isn't 'level-headed' at all to me because he isn't taking his daughter's autonomy into consideration. He could have very easily pulled his daughter aside with some flimsy excuse ('Help take out the pizza boxes' or something) and asked if she needed help.", "role": "HauntingCat", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"HauntingCat\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1256h2c0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"He didn't ask his daughter what she wanted or if she wanted him to intervene. She's 14, not 5. That isn't 'level-headed' at all to me because he isn't taking his daughter's autonomy into consideration. He could have very easily pulled his daughter aside with some flimsy excuse ('Help take out the pizza boxes' or something) and asked if she needed help.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>He didn't ask his daughter what she wanted or if she wanted him to intervene. She's 14, not 5. That isn't 'level-headed' at all to me because he isn't taking his daughter's autonomy into consideration. He could have very easily pulled his daughter aside with some flimsy excuse ('Help take out the pizza boxes' or something) and asked if she needed help.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1582713378.0, \"created_utc\": 1582713378.0, \"depth\": 6, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fitbg34\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_f9m670\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fitbg34\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fit7kpj\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fitbg34/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 74, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 74, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "d5fd138ce261412a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "eb2d5d05362c821e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "She came to talk to her parent(s) and she left her phone downstairs, if you recall. Dad did not demand she show it to him nor did he forcibly take it from her hands. I think this was the daughter's way of asking for her dad's help without asking outright. It tells me that she trusts her dad to help her fix a difficult situation, which he did and that makes him NTA imo.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>She came to talk to her parent(s) and she left her phone downstairs, if you recall. Dad did not demand she show it to him nor did he forcibly take it from her hands. I think this was the daughter's way of asking for her dad's help without asking outright. It tells me that she trusts her dad to help her fix a difficult situation, which he did and that makes him NTA imo.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1582738097.0, "created_utc": 1582738097.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fiuaxgv", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_f9m670", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fiuaxgv", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fitbg34", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f9m670/aita_for_kicking_out_a_girl_from_my_daughters/fiuaxgv/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 6, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 6, "user_reports": []}
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My across the street neighbor was my creepy stalker when I was a teen. I am 53, so it was before mass shootings and incels. I was 16 and he would call me, to tell me he was sitting on his roof, watching me through the scope of his gun. I was living with my mom at the time and didn't know what to do, so I packed up and went to live with my dad. I think the objective for stalkers is to terrorize their victim. I didn't even really know this kid. I never opened the curtains in my house. I was scared every time I had to go out. For some reason I never told my mom, I guess I thought she wouldn't care (she probably wouldn't have).
|
qxwjur
|
aad135f02d4d40df
| 1,637,405,215
| 4
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "53 years old (as of November 2021)", "gender": "Likely female (contextual evidence: references to being a mother, wearing dresses)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent of two sons (one biological, one adopted from foster care); has sarcoidosis (chronic medical condition); experienced stalking as a teenager; went through parental divorce as a teen"}, "interests": ["Adoption and foster care issues, stating 'I have 2 sons, 1 adopted and one bio, and I adopted him from foster care'", "Medical conditions and misdiagnosis, sharing 'I have sarcoidosis, when I was a teen I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, later diagnosed with sarcoidosis'", "Family dynamics and parental relationships, frequently commenting on parent-child conflicts", "Child safety and protection from predators, sharing detailed stalker experience from teenage years", "Interpersonal conflict resolution in family settings", "Parenting challenges and treating children equally regardless of biological connection", "Infidelity and divorce impacts on families, sharing 'I recently talked to my dad about his cheating and divorce'", "Reddit AITA community discussions and moral judgments"], "values": ["Strong belief that biology doesn't determine family bonds, stating 'I love both of my sons' and worrying about potential bias", "Emphasis on treating adopted and biological children equally, expressing 'I sometimes worry that I overcompensate and favor my adopted son'", "Belief that abusive people rarely change, noting 'This type of person always blames others for their misfortunes and never learns'", "Recognition that good people are rare, commenting 'I doubt OP has enemies, you would have to be extremely evil to decide to be OP's nemesis'", "Strong stance on personal safety and taking stalking seriously, sharing traumatic teenage stalker experience", "Empathy for victims of manipulation and gaslighting in relationships", "Appreciation for people who help children in need, praising those who intervene medically", "Belief in self-awareness about human biases, stating 'It's human nature to have biases even if we don't want to'", "Value of setting boundaries to protect oneself from favoritism, noting 'I would be afraid that the answer could cause me to treat one of the children differently'"], "communication": ["Frequently shares detailed personal experiences to relate to others, such as lengthy stalker narrative and adoption story", "Uses conversational and empathetic tone, often starting with 'I would' or 'I have'", "Asks clarifying questions when unfamiliar with terms: 'I've never heard of a McCain deep n' delicious? I will try to Google it'", "Employs proper grammar, punctuation, and paragraph structure consistently", "Occasionally uses humor and emojis, responding 'He's a gem \ud83d\udc8e\ud83d\ude02' sarcastically", "Provides context and backstory when sharing opinions, explaining reasoning thoroughly", "Writes longer responses (150-250 words) for personal stories versus brief observations (8-20 words)", "Uses reflective language showing self-awareness: 'I sometimes worry' and 'I really hope'", "Directly quotes or references specific details from original posts to ground responses"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 60-80 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 8 words ('All the Pokemon!')", "Maximum response length: approximately 230 words (stalker experience narrative)", "Frequently uses first-person perspective with phrases like 'I have,' 'I would,' 'I was,' 'I think'", "Common family-related terms: 'my sons,' 'my mom,' 'my dad,' 'adopted,' 'bio'", "Uses conditional and reflective language: 'I would be curious,' 'I sometimes worry,' 'I really hope'", "Tends to write 2-4 sentence responses for brief comments, 3-5 paragraphs for detailed personal narratives", "Uses questions in approximately 20% of responses to seek clarification or engage"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA For quitting on the spot even though we were understaff and it made my manager cry?\n\nI worked at a retail store in the mall. The store is divided into men\u2019s, women\u2019s and children\u2019s clothes. I always worked women\u2019s and on the weekdays I was always the only employee in that entire section. \n\nYesterday myself and two other employees clocked into ours shifts. My manager Lisa pulled my aside and told me \u201cYour dads called the store five times asking for your schedule please tell him to stop\u201d. I got extremely confused because that didn\u2019t sound like something my dad would do. I even texted him and he said he never called the store once. I had a bad feeling and asked Lisa if she gave \u201cmy dad\u201d my schedule and she did she did. I then told her that wasn\u2019t my dad and she had no right telling a strange man my schedule. She got annoyed and told me that it wasn\u2019t a big deal and I was being dramatic. \n\nI then quit on the spot which only left her and two other employee to watch the entire store. She kept apologizing and even burst into tears because they were understaffed. \n\nAITA?", "role": "Nomyp", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Nomyp\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gq8k5s9m\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1637378304.0, \"created_utc\": 1637378304.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"qxwjur\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_qxwjur\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2231, \"num_crossposts\": 7, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qxwjur/aita_for_quitting_on_the_spot_even_though_we_were/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27703, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I worked at a retail store in the mall. The store is divided into men\\u2019s, women\\u2019s and children\\u2019s clothes. I always worked women\\u2019s and on the weekdays I was always the only employee in that entire section. \\n\\nYesterday myself and two other employees clocked into ours shifts. My manager Lisa pulled my aside and told me \\u201cYour dads called the store five times asking for your schedule please tell him to stop\\u201d. I got extremely confused because that didn\\u2019t sound like something my dad would do. I even texted him and he said he never called the store once. I had a bad feeling and asked Lisa if she gave \\u201cmy dad\\u201d my schedule and she did she did. I then told her that wasn\\u2019t my dad and she had no right telling a strange man my schedule. She got annoyed and told me that it wasn\\u2019t a big deal and I was being dramatic. \\n\\nI then quit on the spot which only left her and two other employee to watch the entire store. She kept apologizing and even burst into tears because they were understaffed. \\n\\nAITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I worked at a retail store in the mall. The store is divided into men\\u2019s, women\\u2019s and children\\u2019s clothes. I always worked women\\u2019s and on the weekdays I was always the only employee in that entire section. </p>\\n\\n<p>Yesterday myself and two other employees clocked into ours shifts. My manager Lisa pulled my aside and told me \\u201cYour dads called the store five times asking for your schedule please tell him to stop\\u201d. I got extremely confused because that didn\\u2019t sound like something my dad would do. I even texted him and he said he never called the store once. I had a bad feeling and asked Lisa if she gave \\u201cmy dad\\u201d my schedule and she did she did. I then told her that wasn\\u2019t my dad and she had no right telling a strange man my schedule. She got annoyed and told me that it wasn\\u2019t a big deal and I was being dramatic. </p>\\n\\n<p>I then quit on the spot which only left her and two other employee to watch the entire store. She kept apologizing and even burst into tears because they were understaffed. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_qxwjur\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA For quitting on the spot even though we were understaff and it made my manager cry?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27703, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qxwjur/aita_for_quitting_on_the_spot_even_though_we_were/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Uh. Yeah no. Nta. That\u2019s horrifying.", "role": "eirwen29", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"eirwen29\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [15]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6s35j\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Uh. Yeah no. Nta. That\\u2019s horrifying.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Uh. Yeah no. Nta. That\\u2019s horrifying.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637378404.0, \"created_utc\": 1637378404.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlce4bj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qxwjur\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlce4bj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_qxwjur\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qxwjur/aita_for_quitting_on_the_spot_even_though_we_were/hlce4bj/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 33787, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 33787, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I also only work evening shifts because of my university schedule. I didn\u2019t feel comfortable at all.", "role": "Nomyp", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Nomyp\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gq8k5s9m\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I also only work evening shifts because of my university schedule. I didn\\u2019t feel comfortable at all.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I also only work evening shifts because of my university schedule. I didn\\u2019t feel comfortable at all.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637378513.0, \"created_utc\": 1637378513.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlcebtw\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qxwjur\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlcebtw\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hlce4bj\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qxwjur/aita_for_quitting_on_the_spot_even_though_we_were/hlcebtw/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 21146, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 21146, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "OP I had a boss give out my address and holiday schedule to my stalker. Dude showed up at my house and let's just say I have severe ptsd and I struggle every day. It was 12 years ago. You did the right thing. Stay vigilant, because these guys are so persistent. My boss could not understand why I was so upset. He didn't even get in shit.", "role": "ClassyLassieCassie", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ClassyLassieCassie\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [3]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_e1p9ai7v\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"OP I had a boss give out my address and holiday schedule to my stalker. Dude showed up at my house and let's just say I have severe ptsd and I struggle every day. It was 12 years ago. You did the right thing. Stay vigilant, because these guys are so persistent. My boss could not understand why I was so upset. He didn't even get in shit.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>OP I had a boss give out my address and holiday schedule to my stalker. Dude showed up at my house and let's just say I have severe ptsd and I struggle every day. It was 12 years ago. You did the right thing. Stay vigilant, because these guys are so persistent. My boss could not understand why I was so upset. He didn't even get in shit.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637381385.0, \"created_utc\": 1637381385.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlcjmyx\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qxwjur\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlcjmyx\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hlcebtw\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qxwjur/aita_for_quitting_on_the_spot_even_though_we_were/hlcjmyx/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3622, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3622, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "aad135f02d4d40df", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7c97f2a1c4e23c18", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My across the street neighbor was my creepy stalker when I was a teen. I am 53, so it was before mass shootings and incels. I was 16 and he would call me, to tell me he was sitting on his roof, watching me through the scope of his gun. I was living with my mom at the time and didn't know what to do, so I packed up and went to live with my dad. I think the objective for stalkers is to terrorize their victim. I didn't even really know this kid. I never opened the curtains in my house. I was scared every time I had to go out. For some reason I never told my mom, I guess I thought she wouldn't care (she probably wouldn't have).", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My across the street neighbor was my creepy stalker when I was a teen. I am 53, so it was before mass shootings and incels. I was 16 and he would call me, to tell me he was sitting on his roof, watching me through the scope of his gun. I was living with my mom at the time and didn't know what to do, so I packed up and went to live with my dad. I think the objective for stalkers is to terrorize their victim. I didn't even really know this kid. I never opened the curtains in my house. I was scared every time I had to go out. For some reason I never told my mom, I guess I thought she wouldn't care (she probably wouldn't have).</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1637405215.0, "created_utc": 1637405215.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hldfdi9", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_qxwjur", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hldfdi9", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hlcjmyx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qxwjur/aita_for_quitting_on_the_spot_even_though_we_were/hldfdi9/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 12, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 12, "user_reports": []}
|
Yeah SIL is showing she is only willing to the bare minimum to replace the fabric. Which sucks, definitely.
At this point, OP has a better chance of sending her (or maybe even the SIL's husband) a bill for replacing based on store costs or a link to buying the fabric or something similar online.
|
e4nn5v
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73ee6d075111d5bd
| 1,575,257,835
| 7
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (likely based on context of being a wife with a husband and self-references)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Unemployed (as of 2019, mentioned 'Lost my job, haven't found another')", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married, experiencing financial difficulties and debt, has knowledge of Mexican cuisine suggesting possible cultural connection"}, "interests": ["Cooking and culinary arts, particularly Mexican cuisine like nopales and grilled dishes", "Crafting hobbies including beading, jewelry making, and fabric/sewing knowledge", "Relationship dynamics and interpersonal conflict resolution", "Mental health awareness and therapeutic approaches", "Religious and philosophical discussions, particularly Christian theology", "Food culture and ingredient sourcing, including thrift shopping and clearance hunting", "Child development and parenting issues", "Fabric quality and textile knowledge, understanding different fabric types and their values", "Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) community discussions", "Personal finance and debt management challenges", "Emotional intelligence and empathy in relationships", "Setting healthy boundaries while maintaining compassion"], "values": ["Empathy and understanding for people dealing with mental health challenges ('When you get sick, you also deal with a lot of emotional and mental issues')", "Importance of setting boundaries to protect oneself ('Sometimes you just have to protect what is yours, what you have worked hard to get and maintain')", "Concern for children's emotional welfare and proper development", "Practical problem-solving over idealistic solutions ('Op should either find a link online for her SIL to buy the fabric or request her to pay a sum')", "Value of learning practical skills like cooking ('Because it's delicious and a valuable skill. That's why!')", "Respect for others' hobbies and possessions ('A lot of ppl don't understand the value ppl have for their hobbies')", "Belief in free will and personal responsibility ('we were given freewill and choice - and we must determine how to use it')", "Recognition that helping others has limits ('There's nothing wrong with saying \"No\" sometimes')", "Importance of emotional intimacy in marriage beyond physical aspects", "Appreciation for family support during difficult times ('having family helps a lot')", "Understanding that inspiration and new experiences fuel creativity ('you derive inspiration from new foods or dishes you eat')", "Skepticism toward people who feel entitled to others' resources or help"], "communication": ["Uses clear paragraph structure with logical flow and transitions", "Frequently employs personal anecdotes to illustrate broader points ('A close friend of mine had a coworker...')", "Balances empathy with firm boundary-setting in advice", "Uses conversational tone with phrases like 'Oof yeah Op', 'GL Op', 'That's awesome!'", "Employs italics for emphasis on key words or phrases (*never*, *she's owed*)", "Provides detailed, multi-perspective analysis of complex situations", "Often validates others before adding nuanced critique ('I agree Op is NTA, it's not exactly feasible...')", "Uses conditional and hedging language ('might', 'could', 'probably', 'likely')", "Incorporates Reddit-specific terminology and acronyms (NTA, Op, FOMO)", "Asks rhetorical questions to emphasize points ('What if she gets sick and passes out while the baby is bathing?')", "Writes responses ranging from brief supportive comments to extensive analytical essays", "Uses specific examples and scenarios to support arguments"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 120-150 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length around 30-40 words for brief supportive comments", "Maximum response length exceeds 400 words for detailed analytical responses", "Frequently uses phrases: 'I think', 'clearly', 'honestly', 'NTA', 'Op', 'probably', 'likely'", "Common sentence starters: 'I think', 'While I agree', 'Yeah', 'That's', 'She's', 'It's'", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently to add context or clarification", "Employs varied sentence structure mixing short declarative statements with longer complex sentences", "Tends to use multiple paragraphs even in shorter responses for organization", "Frequently includes questions (rhetorical or direct) in responses", "Uses exclamation points moderately to convey enthusiasm or emphasis"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for DEMANDING my SIL replace the expensive fabric she and her children DESTROYED with EQUAL fabric?\n\nI am STEAMING mad about this and everyone around me is pretending like I'm being a cunt. I'll let you people decide. First, I sew my own clothes. My husband and I live in a very nice house with a HUGE room filled with gorgeous sunlight for my hobbies.\n\nWe hosted Thanksgiving. My SIL and her three kids were staying with us, despite that she always treats me like shit for preferring pets over kids.\n\nOn Tuesday, as I went to do some last-minute shopping, my SIL texted about a tablecloth for her kids to put down while they did Christmas ornaments. I walked her through the closet with the VERY. CLEARLY. MARKED. TABLECLOTHS.\n\nI got home 3 hours later and checked in on everyone. When I went into the hobby room where everyone was gathered, I saw it. SHE PULLED MY FUCKING ATELIER BRUNETTE FABRIC FROM THE CLOSET. MARKED. FABRIC. This particular style was discontinued several years ago, but I snagged for $25/yard. I had 6 yards. Let me note that fabric is EXPENSIVE and I have always sourced from thrift stores, deep clearance, etc. This was a GIFT to myself.\n\nI fucking screamed \"What the hell are you doing?!\" and ran to the table. She looked alarmed and acted like she had no idea what she'd done. Her fucking kids spilled all kinds of paint all over the fabric. I told everyone to STOP, put DOWN the crafts, and get OUT.\n\nAfter I fucking cried over that fabric and tried my best to salvage it, I demanded she replace it, and said how. She argued that she had no way of knowing that \"ugly ass\" fabric was for something other than a tablecloth, because it didn't look like anything anyone would ever wear seriously. I said I expected 6 yards.\n\nBlack Friday she and the girls handed me a JoAnn Fabric bag. They handed me 6 yards of an absolutely hideous Keepsake Calico fabric. Typically $9.99/yard but on sale for $3.99 this weekend.\n\nI asked her if she was being serious, and she said yes, here's 6 yards of ugly ass fabric. I deadpanned \"Get the fuck out of my house. Now.\" and she got very angry and started arguing with me that it's not her fault that I have expensive taste. I told her to leave, now, and not to come back unless she has EQUAL. QUALITY. FABRIC.\n\nOf course I'm being told what an awful, evil person I am because I wouldn't \"graciously\" accept her insult of shit quality quilting cotton. For those who don't know fabric, this was like presenting someone with a 2001 Honda Civic after crashing their 2020 Maserati.\n\nAITA?\n\n**EDITED AT THE REQUEST OF A POSTER:** To be very clear, SIL had to go *far* out of her way from where I directed her to grab the fabric. It was not even kept in the same room, let alone closet, as the tablecloths which were CLEARLY marked. There was no reason for her to be IN the fabric closet. The was not an \"honest mistake\" by ANY stretch of the phrase. When we were on the phone, I directed her SPECIFICALLY to the linen closet. She had to DELIBERATELY go OUT OF HER WAY to grab the fabric.\n\n**SECOND EDIT:** The linen closet is next to one of the bathrooms, where I directed her. Each shelf is labeled with what they're for, towels, guest towels, bed, guest bed, etc. I said \"You see the shelf marked tablecloths? There's one with paint on it. You can use that.\" The fabric closet is in the master bedroom (NOT the craft room even), and each larger cut of fabric is kept inside of a plastic tub, often times in a vacuuum sealed bag, labeled with the yardage, manufacturer, and fiber content.\n\n**THIRD EDIT:** Several people seem to have a personal issue with my writing style, use of caps, explanation of my large hobby room, etc! These aren't part of the issue, but seem to really upset some of you. I find that very interesting and wonder if it would be the same if it was a man describing his video game dungeon and battle station! I take a lot of pride in coming from a working class background and having a room dedicated to my hobbies. I hope you all get to enjoy a space of your own eventually as well. <3", "role": "fabricadabric", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"fabricadabric\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_54vgje49\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1575234027.0, \"created_utc\": 1575234027.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1575251410.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"e4nn5v\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2832, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26140, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I am STEAMING mad about this and everyone around me is pretending like I'm being a cunt. I'll let you people decide. First, I sew my own clothes. My husband and I live in a very nice house with a HUGE room filled with gorgeous sunlight for my hobbies.\\n\\nWe hosted Thanksgiving. My SIL and her three kids were staying with us, despite that she always treats me like shit for preferring pets over kids.\\n\\nOn Tuesday, as I went to do some last-minute shopping, my SIL texted about a tablecloth for her kids to put down while they did Christmas ornaments. I walked her through the closet with the VERY. CLEARLY. MARKED. TABLECLOTHS.\\n\\nI got home 3 hours later and checked in on everyone. When I went into the hobby room where everyone was gathered, I saw it. SHE PULLED MY FUCKING ATELIER BRUNETTE FABRIC FROM THE CLOSET. MARKED. FABRIC. This particular style was discontinued several years ago, but I snagged for $25/yard. I had 6 yards. Let me note that fabric is EXPENSIVE and I have always sourced from thrift stores, deep clearance, etc. This was a GIFT to myself.\\n\\nI fucking screamed \\\"What the hell are you doing?!\\\" and ran to the table. She looked alarmed and acted like she had no idea what she'd done. Her fucking kids spilled all kinds of paint all over the fabric. I told everyone to STOP, put DOWN the crafts, and get OUT.\\n\\nAfter I fucking cried over that fabric and tried my best to salvage it, I demanded she replace it, and said how. She argued that she had no way of knowing that \\\"ugly ass\\\" fabric was for something other than a tablecloth, because it didn't look like anything anyone would ever wear seriously. I said I expected 6 yards.\\n\\nBlack Friday she and the girls handed me a JoAnn Fabric bag. They handed me 6 yards of an absolutely hideous Keepsake Calico fabric. Typically $9.99/yard but on sale for $3.99 this weekend.\\n\\nI asked her if she was being serious, and she said yes, here's 6 yards of ugly ass fabric. I deadpanned \\\"Get the fuck out of my house. Now.\\\" and she got very angry and started arguing with me that it's not her fault that I have expensive taste. I told her to leave, now, and not to come back unless she has EQUAL. QUALITY. FABRIC.\\n\\nOf course I'm being told what an awful, evil person I am because I wouldn't \\\"graciously\\\" accept her insult of shit quality quilting cotton. For those who don't know fabric, this was like presenting someone with a 2001 Honda Civic after crashing their 2020 Maserati.\\n\\nAITA?\\n\\n**EDITED AT THE REQUEST OF A POSTER:** To be very clear, SIL had to go *far* out of her way from where I directed her to grab the fabric. It was not even kept in the same room, let alone closet, as the tablecloths which were CLEARLY marked. There was no reason for her to be IN the fabric closet. The was not an \\\"honest mistake\\\" by ANY stretch of the phrase. When we were on the phone, I directed her SPECIFICALLY to the linen closet. She had to DELIBERATELY go OUT OF HER WAY to grab the fabric.\\n\\n**SECOND EDIT:** The linen closet is next to one of the bathrooms, where I directed her. Each shelf is labeled with what they're for, towels, guest towels, bed, guest bed, etc. I said \\\"You see the shelf marked tablecloths? There's one with paint on it. You can use that.\\\" The fabric closet is in the master bedroom (NOT the craft room even), and each larger cut of fabric is kept inside of a plastic tub, often times in a vacuuum sealed bag, labeled with the yardage, manufacturer, and fiber content.\\n\\n**THIRD EDIT:** Several people seem to have a personal issue with my writing style, use of caps, explanation of my large hobby room, etc! These aren't part of the issue, but seem to really upset some of you. I find that very interesting and wonder if it would be the same if it was a man describing his video game dungeon and battle station! I take a lot of pride in coming from a working class background and having a room dedicated to my hobbies. I hope you all get to enjoy a space of your own eventually as well. <3\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I am STEAMING mad about this and everyone around me is pretending like I'm being a cunt. I'll let you people decide. First, I sew my own clothes. My husband and I live in a very nice house with a HUGE room filled with gorgeous sunlight for my hobbies.</p>\\n\\n<p>We hosted Thanksgiving. My SIL and her three kids were staying with us, despite that she always treats me like shit for preferring pets over kids.</p>\\n\\n<p>On Tuesday, as I went to do some last-minute shopping, my SIL texted about a tablecloth for her kids to put down while they did Christmas ornaments. I walked her through the closet with the VERY. CLEARLY. MARKED. TABLECLOTHS.</p>\\n\\n<p>I got home 3 hours later and checked in on everyone. When I went into the hobby room where everyone was gathered, I saw it. SHE PULLED MY FUCKING ATELIER BRUNETTE FABRIC FROM THE CLOSET. MARKED. FABRIC. This particular style was discontinued several years ago, but I snagged for $25/yard. I had 6 yards. Let me note that fabric is EXPENSIVE and I have always sourced from thrift stores, deep clearance, etc. This was a GIFT to myself.</p>\\n\\n<p>I fucking screamed "What the hell are you doing?!" and ran to the table. She looked alarmed and acted like she had no idea what she'd done. Her fucking kids spilled all kinds of paint all over the fabric. I told everyone to STOP, put DOWN the crafts, and get OUT.</p>\\n\\n<p>After I fucking cried over that fabric and tried my best to salvage it, I demanded she replace it, and said how. She argued that she had no way of knowing that "ugly ass" fabric was for something other than a tablecloth, because it didn't look like anything anyone would ever wear seriously. I said I expected 6 yards.</p>\\n\\n<p>Black Friday she and the girls handed me a JoAnn Fabric bag. They handed me 6 yards of an absolutely hideous Keepsake Calico fabric. Typically $9.99/yard but on sale for $3.99 this weekend.</p>\\n\\n<p>I asked her if she was being serious, and she said yes, here's 6 yards of ugly ass fabric. I deadpanned "Get the fuck out of my house. Now." and she got very angry and started arguing with me that it's not her fault that I have expensive taste. I told her to leave, now, and not to come back unless she has EQUAL. QUALITY. FABRIC.</p>\\n\\n<p>Of course I'm being told what an awful, evil person I am because I wouldn't "graciously" accept her insult of shit quality quilting cotton. For those who don't know fabric, this was like presenting someone with a 2001 Honda Civic after crashing their 2020 Maserati.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>EDITED AT THE REQUEST OF A POSTER:</strong> To be very clear, SIL had to go <em>far</em> out of her way from where I directed her to grab the fabric. It was not even kept in the same room, let alone closet, as the tablecloths which were CLEARLY marked. There was no reason for her to be IN the fabric closet. The was not an "honest mistake" by ANY stretch of the phrase. When we were on the phone, I directed her SPECIFICALLY to the linen closet. She had to DELIBERATELY go OUT OF HER WAY to grab the fabric.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>SECOND EDIT:</strong> The linen closet is next to one of the bathrooms, where I directed her. Each shelf is labeled with what they're for, towels, guest towels, bed, guest bed, etc. I said "You see the shelf marked tablecloths? There's one with paint on it. You can use that." The fabric closet is in the master bedroom (NOT the craft room even), and each larger cut of fabric is kept inside of a plastic tub, often times in a vacuuum sealed bag, labeled with the yardage, manufacturer, and fiber content.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>THIRD EDIT:</strong> Several people seem to have a personal issue with my writing style, use of caps, explanation of my large hobby room, etc! These aren't part of the issue, but seem to really upset some of you. I find that very interesting and wonder if it would be the same if it was a man describing his video game dungeon and battle station! I take a lot of pride in coming from a working class background and having a room dedicated to my hobbies. I hope you all get to enjoy a space of your own eventually as well. <3</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for DEMANDING my SIL replace the expensive fabric she and her children DESTROYED with EQUAL fabric?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26140, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.76, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA and please ignore the people telling you that's you're overreacting or seem crazy. If this post was about someone destroying someone's video games or other nerd crap there would be no question. Destroying your personal belongings is NEVER excusable under ANY circumstances.", "role": "zookinis", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"zookinis\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [7]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_17hvkf\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA and please ignore the people telling you that's you're overreacting or seem crazy. If this post was about someone destroying someone's video games or other nerd crap there would be no question. Destroying your personal belongings is NEVER excusable under ANY circumstances.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA and please ignore the people telling you that's you're overreacting or seem crazy. If this post was about someone destroying someone's video games or other nerd crap there would be no question. Destroying your personal belongings is NEVER excusable under ANY circumstances.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1575235296.0, \"created_utc\": 1575235296.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f9do1ug\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f9do1ug\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9do1ug/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 31499, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 31499, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "What I don't get is why OP is asking SIL to buy new fabric. She obviously knows nothing about fabrics (and isn't interested in learning). Just ask for the money.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"What I don't get is why OP is asking SIL to buy new fabric. She obviously knows nothing about fabrics (and isn't interested in learning). Just ask for the money.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>What I don't get is why OP is asking SIL to buy new fabric. She obviously knows nothing about fabrics (and isn't interested in learning). Just ask for the money.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1575246765.0, \"created_utc\": 1575246765.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f9emyu7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f9emyu7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f9do1ug\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9emyu7/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 626, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 626, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Exactly. Its $150. Just ask for the money and be done with it.", "role": "ShowBobsPlzz", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ShowBobsPlzz\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_47mkw1iw\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Exactly. Its $150. Just ask for the money and be done with it.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Exactly. Its $150. Just ask for the money and be done with it.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1575249647.0, \"created_utc\": 1575249647.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f9erid9\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f9erid9\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f9emyu7\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9erid9/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 422, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 422, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "The fabric was discontinued and OP said they got it on sale. Buying the same fabric now would cost a lot more then what OP got it for.", "role": "couchpotatoes56", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"couchpotatoes56\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2fs4cnke\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"The fabric was discontinued and OP said they got it on sale. Buying the same fabric now would cost a lot more then what OP got it for.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>The fabric was discontinued and OP said they got it on sale. Buying the same fabric now would cost a lot more then what OP got it for.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1575250827.0, \"created_utc\": 1575250827.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f9et22v\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f9et22v\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f9erid9\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9et22v/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 313, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 313, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "What it costs is labor in hunting for it. OP is expecting SIL to pay that labor cost in her own labor.", "role": "rareas", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"rareas\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8w8tr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"What it costs is labor in hunting for it. OP is expecting SIL to pay that labor cost in her own labor.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>What it costs is labor in hunting for it. OP is expecting SIL to pay that labor cost in her own labor.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1575251314.0, \"created_utc\": 1575251314.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f9etp32\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f9etp32\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f9et22v\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9etp32/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 189, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 189, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "But SIL clearly either doesn't know fabrics or is being malicious. In either case trying to get her to go fabric hunting is a losing proposition.", "role": "AldenDi", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"AldenDi\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [4]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_vh0hr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"But SIL clearly either doesn't know fabrics or is being malicious. In either case trying to get her to go fabric hunting is a losing proposition.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>But SIL clearly either doesn't know fabrics or is being malicious. In either case trying to get her to go fabric hunting is a losing proposition.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1575254164.0, \"created_utc\": 1575254164.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f9exkkj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e4nn5v\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f9exkkj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f9etp32\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9exkkj/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 53, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 53, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "73ee6d075111d5bd", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7aa02b65f7366a0f", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yeah SIL is showing she is only willing to the bare minimum to replace the fabric. Which sucks, definitely. \n\nAt this point, OP has a better chance of sending her (or maybe even the SIL's husband) a bill for replacing based on store costs or a link to buying the fabric or something similar online.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yeah SIL is showing she is only willing to the bare minimum to replace the fabric. Which sucks, definitely. </p>\n\n<p>At this point, OP has a better chance of sending her (or maybe even the SIL's husband) a bill for replacing based on store costs or a link to buying the fabric or something similar online.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575257835.0, "created_utc": 1575257835.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f9f2hr0", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e4nn5v", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f9f2hr0", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f9exkkj", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4nn5v/aita_for_demanding_my_sil_replace_the_expensive/f9f2hr0/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 30, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 30, "user_reports": []}
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Funerals are for the living. Let them do what lets them cope the best.
|
df2xqn
|
c8fdbbb406c5d668
| 1,570,580,405
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "Late 20s to 40s (based on marriage context)", "gender": "Male (mentions 'my wife' in response about authority dynamics)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married to a woman with a professional job; discusses household financial decisions jointly"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly parent-child relationships", "Wedding planning ethics and family inclusion decisions", "Financial responsibility and fair compensation in employment relationships", "Personal boundaries and privacy rights, especially for teenagers and young adults", "Authority dynamics and power imbalances in marriages and relationships", "Logical consistency and identifying plot holes or inconsistencies in narratives", "Disability accommodations and appropriate boundary-setting with special needs family members", "Parenting decisions and child development considerations", "Weight loss journeys and body image issues", "Workplace ethics and employee treatment", "Gender roles and expectations in modern relationships", "Reddit meta-commentary and community behavior patterns"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy and bodily consent, stating 'funerals are for the living' and supporting individual choice", "Advocates for fair compensation and worker rights, noting babysitter exploitation: 'She's just been flat out taking advantage this whole time'", "Rejects hierarchical authority in marriages, expressing discomfort with wife asking permission: 'I can't wrap my mind around seeking it out like this'", "Values logical consistency and evidence-based reasoning, frequently pointing out contradictions in stories", "Supports appropriate boundaries between family members, defending the son's right to privacy with a lock", "Believes in equal partnership in marriage rather than authority structures", "Emphasizes practical considerations over emotional appeals, analyzing real-world implications of decisions", "Values honesty and direct communication in relationships", "Recognizes nuance in complex situations, noting 'kids can \"know\" AND not know things' about age-appropriate understanding", "Appreciates when people take responsibility for mistakes and make amends", "Skeptical of dramatic narratives that seem implausible or constructed", "Values consent and respects when people are uncomfortable with physical contact or attention"], "communication": ["Uses extensive parenthetical asides for clarification and additional context, as in '(she comes from a not so well off family)'", "Employs quotation marks frequently to reference specific phrases from original posts", "Writes in conversational tone with colloquialisms like 'dude,' 'crappy thing,' and 'Ha, I picked up on that too'", "Builds logical arguments systematically, often presenting alternative interpretations of situations", "Uses italics and asterisks for emphasis on key words or phrases", "Frequently begins responses with 'Actually' or 'Also' to add overlooked perspectives", "Asks pointed clarifying questions to expose logical flaws: 'Where does it say she wanted everything?'", "Employs hypothetical scenarios and conditional language to explore implications", "Mixes formal analysis with casual internet vernacular", "Uses humor and light sarcasm, noting 'that's talent' about 'armchair psychologists'", "Provides detailed mathematical or logical breakdowns when analyzing inconsistencies", "Writes responses ranging from single sentences to multi-paragraph analyses depending on complexity"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 7 words minimum ('Where does it say she wanted everything?') to 150+ words maximum", "Average response length approximately 50-80 words", "Frequently uses words: 'actually,' 'also,' 'even,' 'would,' 'could,' 'if,' 'because'", "Common phrases include 'I think,' 'it's actually,' 'people also,' and 'there's actually'", "Uses parenthetical statements in approximately 60-70% of responses", "Employs quotation marks in nearly every response to reference source material", "Sentence structure varies from short declarative statements to complex compound sentences with multiple clauses", "Uses rhetorical questions strategically to make points", "Frequently includes specific numerical details or calculations when relevant", "Tends to write 2-4 sentences per response on average, with occasional single-sentence responses or longer multi-paragraph analyses"]}
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[{"content": "WIBTA if I played \u201cAnother One Bites the Dust\u201d at my brother\u2019s wake?\n\nMy brother died. He was an incredible, funny guy, I miss him like I lost one of my limbs. Maybe it\u2019s stupid, but I want people to remember the person he was. My dad and aunts have been involved in planning his funeral and they have been planning a very Catholic funeral service. He wasn\u2019t Catholic and wouldn\u2019t like the very expensive casket, the flowers, the church with a lot of people he didn\u2019t know there. He\u2019d think it\u2019s way too fancy, way too much. \n\nHe and I had morbid discussions a lot (side effect of me being a goth teenager, I guess). He told me he wanted to be cremated and his ashes thrown into a ceiling fan while \u201cIt\u2019s Raining Men\u201d played in the background...obviously not an option....Also, together we made up a funny funeral playlist, including songs like \u201cHighway to Hell\u201d and \u201cAnother One Bites the Dust.\u201d \n\nTo remember him, I want to bring a speaker and play \u201cAnother One Bites the Dust\u201d at his wake. I would explain it to the people at the wake and say that I wanted to preserve the person he was. Maybe I could give a speech, or tell the story and explain how he saw death with humor, not sadness. There will be a lot of extended, older family members there who weren\u2019t very familiar with him and are Catholic, so I\u2019ve been thinking maybe not. But I really want to preserve his memory as he was, not what people think he should have been. I think my cousins and sister would get a kick out of it. \n\nWIBTA?\n\nEdit: I didn\u2019t really expect this response, but thank you. My brother would have been absolutely thrilled by all of your comments. I swear, I almost sense his hand in it. I don\u2019t know if anyone will see this update, but here goes, \n\nThis morning, I talked to my dad about the wake. I suggested, as some of you did, that maybe I could give a eulogy and talk about my brother, and then play a instrumental cover of the song. I found a violin one that I really liked. My dad listened to the cover and looked at the list that my brother and I made. He actually smiled and laughed, and said that it seemed like a great idea. I hadn\u2019t really been thinking about my Dad as much as I should have, I thought of him as opposition, I guess he cared way less about the Catholic stuff than I thought. \n\nI also reached out to some of my brother\u2019 s friends. Some of them had already been planning a party in his honor and they were happy to listen to some of my ideas. We are going to play all the songs on the list, plus a few others that apparently he told his friends about and not me, and we\u2019re going to start working on logistics for scattering (not human!) ashes from a ceiling fan.\n\nThanks again.", "role": "another1bitten", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"another1bitten\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4r6xrlbg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1570554492.0, \"created_utc\": 1570554492.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1570634145.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"df2xqn\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#b8001f\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"ass\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"90fe04ea-b1cc-11e3-a793-12313d21c20d\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Asshole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_df2xqn\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1338, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/df2xqn/wibta_if_i_played_another_one_bites_the_dust_at/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24624, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My brother died. He was an incredible, funny guy, I miss him like I lost one of my limbs. Maybe it\\u2019s stupid, but I want people to remember the person he was. My dad and aunts have been involved in planning his funeral and they have been planning a very Catholic funeral service. He wasn\\u2019t Catholic and wouldn\\u2019t like the very expensive casket, the flowers, the church with a lot of people he didn\\u2019t know there. He\\u2019d think it\\u2019s way too fancy, way too much. \\n\\nHe and I had morbid discussions a lot (side effect of me being a goth teenager, I guess). He told me he wanted to be cremated and his ashes thrown into a ceiling fan while \\u201cIt\\u2019s Raining Men\\u201d played in the background...obviously not an option....Also, together we made up a funny funeral playlist, including songs like \\u201cHighway to Hell\\u201d and \\u201cAnother One Bites the Dust.\\u201d \\n\\nTo remember him, I want to bring a speaker and play \\u201cAnother One Bites the Dust\\u201d at his wake. I would explain it to the people at the wake and say that I wanted to preserve the person he was. Maybe I could give a speech, or tell the story and explain how he saw death with humor, not sadness. There will be a lot of extended, older family members there who weren\\u2019t very familiar with him and are Catholic, so I\\u2019ve been thinking maybe not. But I really want to preserve his memory as he was, not what people think he should have been. I think my cousins and sister would get a kick out of it. \\n\\nWIBTA?\\n\\nEdit: I didn\\u2019t really expect this response, but thank you. My brother would have been absolutely thrilled by all of your comments. I swear, I almost sense his hand in it. I don\\u2019t know if anyone will see this update, but here goes, \\n\\nThis morning, I talked to my dad about the wake. I suggested, as some of you did, that maybe I could give a eulogy and talk about my brother, and then play a instrumental cover of the song. I found a violin one that I really liked. My dad listened to the cover and looked at the list that my brother and I made. He actually smiled and laughed, and said that it seemed like a great idea. I hadn\\u2019t really been thinking about my Dad as much as I should have, I thought of him as opposition, I guess he cared way less about the Catholic stuff than I thought. \\n\\nI also reached out to some of my brother\\u2019 s friends. Some of them had already been planning a party in his honor and they were happy to listen to some of my ideas. We are going to play all the songs on the list, plus a few others that apparently he told his friends about and not me, and we\\u2019re going to start working on logistics for scattering (not human!) ashes from a ceiling fan.\\n\\nThanks again.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My brother died. He was an incredible, funny guy, I miss him like I lost one of my limbs. Maybe it\\u2019s stupid, but I want people to remember the person he was. My dad and aunts have been involved in planning his funeral and they have been planning a very Catholic funeral service. He wasn\\u2019t Catholic and wouldn\\u2019t like the very expensive casket, the flowers, the church with a lot of people he didn\\u2019t know there. He\\u2019d think it\\u2019s way too fancy, way too much. </p>\\n\\n<p>He and I had morbid discussions a lot (side effect of me being a goth teenager, I guess). He told me he wanted to be cremated and his ashes thrown into a ceiling fan while \\u201cIt\\u2019s Raining Men\\u201d played in the background...obviously not an option....Also, together we made up a funny funeral playlist, including songs like \\u201cHighway to Hell\\u201d and \\u201cAnother One Bites the Dust.\\u201d </p>\\n\\n<p>To remember him, I want to bring a speaker and play \\u201cAnother One Bites the Dust\\u201d at his wake. I would explain it to the people at the wake and say that I wanted to preserve the person he was. Maybe I could give a speech, or tell the story and explain how he saw death with humor, not sadness. There will be a lot of extended, older family members there who weren\\u2019t very familiar with him and are Catholic, so I\\u2019ve been thinking maybe not. But I really want to preserve his memory as he was, not what people think he should have been. I think my cousins and sister would get a kick out of it. </p>\\n\\n<p>WIBTA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: I didn\\u2019t really expect this response, but thank you. My brother would have been absolutely thrilled by all of your comments. I swear, I almost sense his hand in it. I don\\u2019t know if anyone will see this update, but here goes, </p>\\n\\n<p>This morning, I talked to my dad about the wake. I suggested, as some of you did, that maybe I could give a eulogy and talk about my brother, and then play a instrumental cover of the song. I found a violin one that I really liked. My dad listened to the cover and looked at the list that my brother and I made. He actually smiled and laughed, and said that it seemed like a great idea. I hadn\\u2019t really been thinking about my Dad as much as I should have, I thought of him as opposition, I guess he cared way less about the Catholic stuff than I thought. </p>\\n\\n<p>I also reached out to some of my brother\\u2019 s friends. Some of them had already been planning a party in his honor and they were happy to listen to some of my ideas. We are going to play all the songs on the list, plus a few others that apparently he told his friends about and not me, and we\\u2019re going to start working on logistics for scattering (not human!) ashes from a ceiling fan.</p>\\n\\n<p>Thanks again.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_df2xqn\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"WIBTA if I played \\u201cAnother One Bites the Dust\\u201d at my brother\\u2019s wake?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24624, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/df2xqn/wibta_if_i_played_another_one_bites_the_dust_at/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "I was in a very similar situation with my brother a few years ago, and I would unfortunately have to say YWBTA if you did this. It's great that you want to keep your brother's memory alive in the way that you talked about, but the funeral isn't just for or even about him it's for all your family and friends, and doing this may rub some of them the wrong way. If you want to honor your brother's memory like this, maybe plan your own smaller party/service with people you know would also enjoy remembering him in that way.\n\n\u200b\n\nI hate having to give this verdict, because the fan full of ashes while playing \"it's raining men\" is one of my new favorite things.\n\n\u200b\n\nEDIT: Wow, not sure I've ever had a comment here blow up like this. Just to add some context: My sister in law(brothers wife) stopped talking to my family for a few months over songs that my mom insisted be played at my brothers funeral. Similar to OP, we were raised religious but drifted away from the church as we got older. My mom wanted to add songs with overt religious themes, which my SIL said my brother wouldn't like. I wasn't close enough with my brother to know one way or another what he would have wanted, so I said nothing. I just wanted to convey I think people should generally try to keep the main service as respectful of everyone in attendance as possible, you can still have your own event afterwards to honor the dead your/their way.\n\nEDIT 2: To be clear I wouldn\u2019t call OP an asshole, but they could very well be seen as one by people who don\u2019t appreciate the gesture. I love the idea of an irreverent ceremony for my death, but my family is largely conservative and I wouldn\u2019t want to make it any more difficult for them to grieve by making it all about what I want.", "role": "Aesael_Eiralol", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Aesael_Eiralol\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [11]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_fhsed\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I was in a very similar situation with my brother a few years ago, and I would unfortunately have to say YWBTA if you did this. It's great that you want to keep your brother's memory alive in the way that you talked about, but the funeral isn't just for or even about him it's for all your family and friends, and doing this may rub some of them the wrong way. If you want to honor your brother's memory like this, maybe plan your own smaller party/service with people you know would also enjoy remembering him in that way.\\n\\n​\\n\\nI hate having to give this verdict, because the fan full of ashes while playing \\\"it's raining men\\\" is one of my new favorite things.\\n\\n​\\n\\nEDIT: Wow, not sure I've ever had a comment here blow up like this. Just to add some context: My sister in law(brothers wife) stopped talking to my family for a few months over songs that my mom insisted be played at my brothers funeral. Similar to OP, we were raised religious but drifted away from the church as we got older. My mom wanted to add songs with overt religious themes, which my SIL said my brother wouldn't like. I wasn't close enough with my brother to know one way or another what he would have wanted, so I said nothing. I just wanted to convey I think people should generally try to keep the main service as respectful of everyone in attendance as possible, you can still have your own event afterwards to honor the dead your/their way.\\n\\nEDIT 2: To be clear I wouldn\\u2019t call OP an asshole, but they could very well be seen as one by people who don\\u2019t appreciate the gesture. I love the idea of an irreverent ceremony for my death, but my family is largely conservative and I wouldn\\u2019t want to make it any more difficult for them to grieve by making it all about what I want.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I was in a very similar situation with my brother a few years ago, and I would unfortunately have to say YWBTA if you did this. It's great that you want to keep your brother's memory alive in the way that you talked about, but the funeral isn't just for or even about him it's for all your family and friends, and doing this may rub some of them the wrong way. If you want to honor your brother's memory like this, maybe plan your own smaller party/service with people you know would also enjoy remembering him in that way.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>I hate having to give this verdict, because the fan full of ashes while playing "it's raining men" is one of my new favorite things.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT: Wow, not sure I've ever had a comment here blow up like this. Just to add some context: My sister in law(brothers wife) stopped talking to my family for a few months over songs that my mom insisted be played at my brothers funeral. Similar to OP, we were raised religious but drifted away from the church as we got older. My mom wanted to add songs with overt religious themes, which my SIL said my brother wouldn't like. I wasn't close enough with my brother to know one way or another what he would have wanted, so I said nothing. I just wanted to convey I think people should generally try to keep the main service as respectful of everyone in attendance as possible, you can still have your own event afterwards to honor the dead your/their way.</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT 2: To be clear I wouldn\\u2019t call OP an asshole, but they could very well be seen as one by people who don\\u2019t appreciate the gesture. I love the idea of an irreverent ceremony for my death, but my family is largely conservative and I wouldn\\u2019t want to make it any more difficult for them to grieve by making it all about what I want.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1570554832.0, \"created_utc\": 1570554832.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1570596378.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f30i0me\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_df2xqn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f30i0me\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_df2xqn\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/df2xqn/wibta_if_i_played_another_one_bites_the_dust_at/f30i0me/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 16542, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 16542, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I really hope when I die no one says this to my loved ones. I have told many people my wishes which are very similar to ops relative and if they didn't and had a 'normal' funeral I would be so mad. I'm not religious and I hate somber funerals. Obviously it's not like I could enforce it from the afterlife but I'd hope my relatives wouldnt listen to this kind of advice over the internet instead of ME the person who is supposedly being honored.", "role": "GothWitchOfBrooklyn", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"GothWitchOfBrooklyn\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_yo592\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I really hope when I die no one says this to my loved ones. I have told many people my wishes which are very similar to ops relative and if they didn't and had a 'normal' funeral I would be so mad. I'm not religious and I hate somber funerals. Obviously it's not like I could enforce it from the afterlife but I'd hope my relatives wouldnt listen to this kind of advice over the internet instead of ME the person who is supposedly being honored.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I really hope when I die no one says this to my loved ones. I have told many people my wishes which are very similar to ops relative and if they didn't and had a 'normal' funeral I would be so mad. I'm not religious and I hate somber funerals. Obviously it's not like I could enforce it from the afterlife but I'd hope my relatives wouldnt listen to this kind of advice over the internet instead of ME the person who is supposedly being honored.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1570570773.0, \"created_utc\": 1570570773.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f319vko\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_df2xqn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f319vko\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f30i0me\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/df2xqn/wibta_if_i_played_another_one_bites_the_dust_at/f319vko/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 48, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 48, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "c8fdbbb406c5d668", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "14d4af50f1638eb6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Funerals are for the living. Let them do what lets them cope the best.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Funerals are for the living. Let them do what lets them cope the best.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1570580405.0, "created_utc": 1570580405.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f31o63g", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_df2xqn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f31o63g", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f319vko", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/df2xqn/wibta_if_i_played_another_one_bites_the_dust_at/f31o63g/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Funerals are for the living that know the deceased. They're for everyone else to help those people cope. The people that actually know the person that passed well should be the ones making these calls and it really shouldn't be those that are using it to disrespect who they were as a person.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Funerals are for the living that know the deceased. They're for everyone else to help those people cope. The people that actually know the person that passed well should be the ones making these calls and it really shouldn't be those that are using it to disrespect who they were as a person.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 1, "created": 1570587193.0, "created_utc": 1570587193.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f31x81p", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_df2xqn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f31x81p", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f31o63g", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/df2xqn/wibta_if_i_played_another_one_bites_the_dust_at/f31x81p/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 11, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 11, "user_reports": []}
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A 9lb baby born at 20 weeks? That's one for the record books! That's how I would bring it up....LOL! I love sanctimonious "Christians". Mom was embarrassed at church. She should be.
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zvmflw
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435a25aa8ec853a2
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{"demographics": {"age group": "60+", "gender": "Female", "location": "United States (moved across country at some point)", "occupation": "Retired (previously worked full-time)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married with adult children (son and daughter), has grandchildren or daughter-in-law, has been married for several decades"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics, particularly mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts", "Marital partnerships and division of household labor", "Religious hypocrisy and performative Christianity/Catholicism", "Boundary-setting in family relationships", "Toxic friendship dynamics and abusive relationships", "Parenting practices and raising children with life skills", "Gender roles and expectations in marriage (1950s husband dynamics)", "Wedding-related family drama and conflicts", "Protecting spouses from toxic family members", "Generational patterns in family behavior", "Home ownership and key-sharing etiquette", "Work-life balance and retirement transitions"], "values": ["Strong belief in respecting boundaries: 'I have a key to daughter's house. I have never gone over unless asked'", "Recognition of toxic relationship patterns: 'Leah sounds like an abusive spouse' and identifying abusive friendship dynamics", "Criticism of religious hypocrisy: 'They disrespected you- but really YOUR WIFE. This would not stop' regarding judgmental Christian family", "Belief in equal partnership in marriage: praising son as 'equal partner with his wife' after teaching him household skills", "Skepticism of apologies without behavioral change: 'We can do anything we want as long as we confess (apologize) after'", "Importance of teaching children life skills: 'I made sure my son knew how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc.'", "Recognition that change is possible: 'Sometimes marriages ARE worth saving' when describing husband's evolution", "Protection of vulnerable family members from toxic relatives", "Belief that respect must be earned through actions, not demanded through authority", "Understanding that women are often blamed in religious/conservative contexts: 'it was the wife's sin...They will however, never let DIL forget she is a Jezebel'", "Support for standing up to family pressure and manipulation"], "communication": ["Uses short, emphatic responses: 'Nope', 'Yep', 'Agreed!' to express clear agreement or disagreement", "Frequently shares personal anecdotes as evidence: 'My husband was a 1950's husband. I did everything...My son is an equal partner with his wife'", "Employs conversational, informal tone with direct language", "Uses ellipses for emphasis and pacing: 'Nope..That is what my Uber Catholic friends say'", "Provides supportive validation: 'NTA (you actually are a hero)' and 'Congratulations on such an accomplishment!'", "Draws on decades of life experience: 'In my 60 plus years, I have seen it all to often'", "Makes pointed observations about power dynamics and hypocrisy", "Uses parenthetical asides to add context: '(I don't any more)' and '(sorry over 60 so not up to date on newest stuff)'", "Offers practical advice based on personal experience", "Writes with authority gained from lived experience", "Balances brevity with substantive content when needed"], "statistics": ["Average response length: 30-40 words", "Minimum response length: 1 word ('Agreed!')", "Maximum response length: approximately 120 words (detailed personal story about husband and son)", "Frequently uses: 'Yep', 'Nope', 'Agreed', 'NTA', 'My husband', 'My son'", "Often begins responses with agreement/disagreement markers", "Uses personal pronouns frequently when sharing experiences", "Employs ellipses regularly for emphasis", "Tends to use short, declarative sentences", "Occasionally uses rhetorical questions for effect", "References personal age and experience as credibility markers"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for bringing up my brother's \"premature\" birth at Christmas dinner to get my parents to shut up?\n\nI am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity cases at the practice where I work. I also work hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation. \n\nMy fiancee is completing her residency. We live together and have for a few years now. We aren't in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago but then we got really busy for two years. \n\nIt is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. I don't really care. I'm an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June. \n\nSo we are visiting my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year everyone is at my parents house. So that's my folks, my three siblings, myself and fiancee, and seven grandchildren. So seventeen people. \n\nAt dinner my mom starts going on about how she is so glad that we are finally getting married and she won't be embarrassed at church any more. And my dad says how proud he is of his three older kids who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together. My fiancee was getting embarrassed and I was getting mad over this stupid argument we have had too many times. And a family dinner was the last straw. \n\nI have asked them repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I live my life. I refuse to stay with them when I visit even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier. \n\nSo I started talking about a premature baby I had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds. It was super strong and healthy for being born so little and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well. \n\nMy mom and dad both got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. To bad. Should not have fucked around with my fiancee's feelings. \n\nSo I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff. \n\nI already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23\" long when he was born. My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me. \n\nThe subject gets changed very fast. After supper my parents told me that I should not try to embarrass them with private things that are not my concern. I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married.\n\nMy parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their own home. But my fiancee is happy that they seem to be off the subject for good. \n\nAITA?", "role": "SupermarketFair3341", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SupermarketFair3341\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_v7szsls5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1672058683.0, \"created_utc\": 1672058683.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 5, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"zvmflw\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_zvmflw\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3333, \"num_crossposts\": 7, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 60423, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity cases at the practice where I work. I also work hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation. \\n\\nMy fiancee is completing her residency. We live together and have for a few years now. We aren't in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago but then we got really busy for two years. \\n\\nIt is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. I don't really care. I'm an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June. \\n\\nSo we are visiting my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year everyone is at my parents house. So that's my folks, my three siblings, myself and fiancee, and seven grandchildren. So seventeen people. \\n\\nAt dinner my mom starts going on about how she is so glad that we are finally getting married and she won't be embarrassed at church any more. And my dad says how proud he is of his three older kids who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together. My fiancee was getting embarrassed and I was getting mad over this stupid argument we have had too many times. And a family dinner was the last straw. \\n\\nI have asked them repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I live my life. I refuse to stay with them when I visit even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier. \\n\\nSo I started talking about a premature baby I had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds. It was super strong and healthy for being born so little and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well. \\n\\nMy mom and dad both got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. To bad. Should not have fucked around with my fiancee's feelings. \\n\\nSo I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff. \\n\\nI already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23\\\" long when he was born. My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me. \\n\\nThe subject gets changed very fast. After supper my parents told me that I should not try to embarrass them with private things that are not my concern. I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married.\\n\\nMy parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their own home. But my fiancee is happy that they seem to be off the subject for good. \\n\\nAITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity cases at the practice where I work. I also work hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation. </p>\\n\\n<p>My fiancee is completing her residency. We live together and have for a few years now. We aren't in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago but then we got really busy for two years. </p>\\n\\n<p>It is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. I don't really care. I'm an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June. </p>\\n\\n<p>So we are visiting my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year everyone is at my parents house. So that's my folks, my three siblings, myself and fiancee, and seven grandchildren. So seventeen people. </p>\\n\\n<p>At dinner my mom starts going on about how she is so glad that we are finally getting married and she won't be embarrassed at church any more. And my dad says how proud he is of his three older kids who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together. My fiancee was getting embarrassed and I was getting mad over this stupid argument we have had too many times. And a family dinner was the last straw. </p>\\n\\n<p>I have asked them repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I live my life. I refuse to stay with them when I visit even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier. </p>\\n\\n<p>So I started talking about a premature baby I had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds. It was super strong and healthy for being born so little and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well. </p>\\n\\n<p>My mom and dad both got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. To bad. Should not have fucked around with my fiancee's feelings. </p>\\n\\n<p>So I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff. </p>\\n\\n<p>I already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23" long when he was born. My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me. </p>\\n\\n<p>The subject gets changed very fast. After supper my parents told me that I should not try to embarrass them with private things that are not my concern. I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married.</p>\\n\\n<p>My parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their own home. But my fiancee is happy that they seem to be off the subject for good. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_zvmflw\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for bringing up my brother's \\\"premature\\\" birth at Christmas dinner to get my parents to shut up?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 60423, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.94, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. That was beautifully handled. You didn't call them out and embarrass them. But you stood your ground. I did laugh out loud when you said where you got your blackmail information. Grandma had that in her pocket for a long time I'm guessing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year.", "role": "SecretJealous4342", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SecretJealous4342\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#8f7312\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"db40139e-f967-11e8-b7d6-0e359a529158\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Certified Proctologist [23]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8dykk9je\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. That was beautifully handled. You didn't call them out and embarrass them. But you stood your ground. I did laugh out loud when you said where you got your blackmail information. Grandma had that in her pocket for a long time I'm guessing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. That was beautifully handled. You didn't call them out and embarrass them. But you stood your ground. I did laugh out loud when you said where you got your blackmail information. Grandma had that in her pocket for a long time I'm guessing. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1672059331.0, \"created_utc\": 1672059331.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"j1pupkb\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_zvmflw\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_j1pupkb\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_zvmflw\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1pupkb/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 47428, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 47428, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "435a25aa8ec853a2", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "564194babf514140", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "A 9lb baby born at 20 weeks? That's one for the record books! That's how I would bring it up....LOL! I love sanctimonious \"Christians\". Mom was embarrassed at church. She should be.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>A 9lb baby born at 20 weeks? That's one for the record books! That's how I would bring it up....LOL! I love sanctimonious "Christians". Mom was embarrassed at church. She should be.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672067700.0, "created_utc": 1672067700.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1q94ys", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1q94ys", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1pupkb", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1q94ys/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e353e87947efdca3", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b33ee1d905c614e3", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "A baby born at 20 weeks would also be most premature baby to have survived, sooo...pretty sure that's not likely.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>A baby born at 20 weeks would also be most premature baby to have survived, sooo...pretty sure that's not likely.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672070963.0, "created_utc": 1672070963.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qg21j", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qg21j", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1q94ys", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qg21j/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b969da3e7b3f960d", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "3f6a24d919275f4a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "4 months prem is 23 weeks. You're pregnant for 40 weeks, and 4 months is 17 weeks", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>4 months prem is 23 weeks. You're pregnant for 40 weeks, and 4 months is 17 weeks</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672073291.0, "created_utc": 1672073291.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1ql6sx", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1ql6sx", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qg21j", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1ql6sx/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e1bb3cf77c0ff346", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "d67195748f3a1f8f", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Pregnancy math is weird, they measure from when the egg matures, not from the moment of conception. So when you conceive you are already 2 weeks pregnant. But even if they were assuming 4 months is 16 weeks, that early is not reasonable. To quote my Irish grandma, they lie like a cheap rug (meaning not very well and nothing is really covered).", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Pregnancy math is weird, they measure from when the egg matures, not from the moment of conception. So when you conceive you are already 2 weeks pregnant. But even if they were assuming 4 months is 16 weeks, that early is not reasonable. To quote my Irish grandma, they lie like a cheap rug (meaning not very well and nothing is really covered).</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672079264.0, "created_utc": 1672079264.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qz0wt", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qz0wt", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1ql6sx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qz0wt/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 53, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 53, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "936855bc65cfa870", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "030794ed0a0c6909", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "And at 23 weeks a 3lb baby would be near impossible (most are less than 2lb), much less 9", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>And at 23 weeks a 3lb baby would be near impossible (most are less than 2lb), much less 9</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672080884.0, "created_utc": 1672080884.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1r2tg0", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1r2tg0", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1ql6sx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1r2tg0/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "17b516e0bcaf9fc4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "20580cc6a42b1a59", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My cousin was born at 24 weeks and weighed 1 lb 6 oz. He fit in the palm of your hand with his head at the tip of your longest finger and his feet at the bottom of your palm. The smallest diapers they had at the hospital went from his chin to his toes! He lost down to 12 oz a few days after birth and they didn\u2019t know if he would make it. Remarkably, he did!\n\nI, on the other hand, was born at full term weighing 9 lbs. Both my boys were born at 39 weeks (so technically 1 week early) and they were 9 lbs 3 oz and 9 lbs 7 oz respectively. [Edit: my boys were born 2.5 years apart, not at the same time.] Anyone who believes a baby born at 24 weeks could be 9 lbs is an idiot!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My cousin was born at 24 weeks and weighed 1 lb 6 oz. He fit in the palm of your hand with his head at the tip of your longest finger and his feet at the bottom of your palm. The smallest diapers they had at the hospital went from his chin to his toes! He lost down to 12 oz a few days after birth and they didn\u2019t know if he would make it. Remarkably, he did!</p>\n\n<p>I, on the other hand, was born at full term weighing 9 lbs. Both my boys were born at 39 weeks (so technically 1 week early) and they were 9 lbs 3 oz and 9 lbs 7 oz respectively. [Edit: my boys were born 2.5 years apart, not at the same time.] Anyone who believes a baby born at 24 weeks could be 9 lbs is an idiot!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672108894.0, "created_utc": 1672108894.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 1672409567.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1srh5f", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1srh5f", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1r2tg0", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1srh5f/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 10, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 10, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 39, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 39, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 122, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 122, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a3312df0926221d2", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9253ff4e4a7e9a24", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I don\u2019t know why but I thought 20 weeks at first too but technically at 4 months premature it would be 24 weeks which does have a much better survival rate but still pretty low. They won\u2019t even try to save a baby before that! A girl I went to high school with had a baby just a couple days shy of the 24 week mark and they wouldn\u2019t even attempt to intervene, it was extremely sad. I watched them post pictures and updates on Facebook and my heart broke the entire time. There\u2019s no way his brother was born 9lbs at 24 weeks and I can\u2019t believe anyone in the family is buying that! Particularly that long ago, modern medicine makes it possible today but 20+ years ago? My sister was born 6 weeks premature 38 years ago and barely survived.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I don\u2019t know why but I thought 20 weeks at first too but technically at 4 months premature it would be 24 weeks which does have a much better survival rate but still pretty low. They won\u2019t even try to save a baby before that! A girl I went to high school with had a baby just a couple days shy of the 24 week mark and they wouldn\u2019t even attempt to intervene, it was extremely sad. I watched them post pictures and updates on Facebook and my heart broke the entire time. There\u2019s no way his brother was born 9lbs at 24 weeks and I can\u2019t believe anyone in the family is buying that! Particularly that long ago, modern medicine makes it possible today but 20+ years ago? My sister was born 6 weeks premature 38 years ago and barely survived.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672072639.0, "created_utc": 1672072639.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qjq09", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qjq09", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1q94ys", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qjq09/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 5, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 5, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "02d4edb20e72c1a4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "eb22baea5389a5fe", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I don\u2019t understand why this is embarrassing", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I don\u2019t understand why this is embarrassing</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672069291.0, "created_utc": 1672069291.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qcfkq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qcfkq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1q94ys", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qcfkq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "773455bb904ab58f", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "96b501cf71e42b79", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "The parents in this post have been lying to their children, saying that the oldest son was born 4 months premature. They lied because they \"don't believe\" in sex before marriage, so they covered up the fact that the mom was pregnant at their wedding by adjusting his date of conception to be post-wedding and saying the son was born premature. But babies born 4 months early are ridiculously tiny and often don't live, especially 30ish years ago, when I'm guessing this happened. OP learned that his older brother was actually a completely normal size at birth (larger than average, even), meaning he wasn't premature and he wasn't conceived after the wedding. He was conceived months before the wedding. So the parents have been criticizing their son for \"living in sin\" when they themselves couldn't keep in their pants before getting married and chose to lie to their children about it. They're hypocritical religious zealots who should be embarrassed about lying and about how horribly they treat their son and his fiancee.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>The parents in this post have been lying to their children, saying that the oldest son was born 4 months premature. They lied because they "don't believe" in sex before marriage, so they covered up the fact that the mom was pregnant at their wedding by adjusting his date of conception to be post-wedding and saying the son was born premature. But babies born 4 months early are ridiculously tiny and often don't live, especially 30ish years ago, when I'm guessing this happened. OP learned that his older brother was actually a completely normal size at birth (larger than average, even), meaning he wasn't premature and he wasn't conceived after the wedding. He was conceived months before the wedding. So the parents have been criticizing their son for "living in sin" when they themselves couldn't keep in their pants before getting married and chose to lie to their children about it. They're hypocritical religious zealots who should be embarrassed about lying and about how horribly they treat their son and his fiancee.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672070032.0, "created_utc": 1672070032.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qe0ph", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qe0ph", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qcfkq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qe0ph/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "926f4af94601cef3", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "90fbcbe311386328", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That baby should be in some kind of record book since the most premature baby to survive was 21 weeks, and had about a 1% chance.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That baby should be in some kind of record book since the most premature baby to survive was 21 weeks, and had about a 1% chance.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672071028.0, "created_utc": 1672071028.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qg6xt", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qg6xt", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qe0ph", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qg6xt/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e6d18f0f927b0507", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "4d218d1cb4735431", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "And 30 years ago that baby would not have even had that 1% chance.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>And 30 years ago that baby would not have even had that 1% chance.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672073385.0, "created_utc": 1672073385.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qlehb", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qlehb", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qg6xt", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qlehb/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5368b41e83b4ee5d", "author_cakeday": true, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0a9b2d1d211702b4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Ironically, until relatively recently the record holder was born back in 1987 (at 21 weeks and 5 days), when treatment for babies that young was basically nonexistent. Just a total fluke. He wasn\u2019t even severely disabled. The last new record holder I heard about was in 2021, I think, at 21 weeks 1 day.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Ironically, until relatively recently the record holder was born back in 1987 (at 21 weeks and 5 days), when treatment for babies that young was basically nonexistent. Just a total fluke. He wasn\u2019t even severely disabled. The last new record holder I heard about was in 2021, I think, at 21 weeks 1 day.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672076250.0, "created_utc": 1672076250.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qrwv4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qrwv4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qlehb", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qrwv4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 58, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 58, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b9c26530c942191b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c4eae4d48ba62da0", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Also, they weigh like half a pound to a pound at that age lol", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Also, they weigh like half a pound to a pound at that age lol</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672072729.0, "created_utc": 1672072729.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qjxcf", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qjxcf", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qg6xt", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qjxcf/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 17, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 17, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 106, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 106, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "946b18fbbe0ea43a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "232d17e76a654898", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "The thing that gets me is, it would be one thing if the parents said, \"we had sex before we got married but regret it; we think it was the wrong thing to do; we don't want you to end up having the same regrets.\" But instead they're pretending to be blameless on this matter and judging OP. \n\nIt's like the parents who act as if they never smoked and keep it a big secret from their kids, instead of saying, \"I used to smoke, it was bad for my health and really difficult to quit, please learn from my mistakes.\"\n\nWhether or not you believe that the parents are right about living together before marriage, they could at least be honest about it. NTA OP!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>The thing that gets me is, it would be one thing if the parents said, "we had sex before we got married but regret it; we think it was the wrong thing to do; we don't want you to end up having the same regrets." But instead they're pretending to be blameless on this matter and judging OP. </p>\n\n<p>It's like the parents who act as if they never smoked and keep it a big secret from their kids, instead of saying, "I used to smoke, it was bad for my health and really difficult to quit, please learn from my mistakes."</p>\n\n<p>Whether or not you believe that the parents are right about living together before marriage, they could at least be honest about it. NTA OP!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672074959.0, "created_utc": 1672074959.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qoy74", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qoy74", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qe0ph", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qoy74/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0e86f0ee40595783", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "11789c3b1cf109e0", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> \"we had sex before we got married but regret it; we think it was the wrong thing to do; we don't want you to end up having the same regrets.\" But instead they're pretending to be blameless on this matter and judging OP.\n\nThe difference between this and smoking, and why they can't really use this line, is they probably don't actually regret the pre-marital sex, unless it's some more complicated web of regret about being together at all.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>"we had sex before we got married but regret it; we think it was the wrong thing to do; we don't want you to end up having the same regrets." But instead they're pretending to be blameless on this matter and judging OP.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>The difference between this and smoking, and why they can't really use this line, is they probably don't actually regret the pre-marital sex, unless it's some more complicated web of regret about being together at all.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672084295.0, "created_utc": 1672084295.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1rahxq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1rahxq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qoy74", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1rahxq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "946b18fbbe0ea43a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "232d17e76a654898", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Well, if they don't regret it then they are even odder for giving OP a hard time for doing the same.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Well, if they don't regret it then they are even odder for giving OP a hard time for doing the same.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672086746.0, "created_utc": 1672086746.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1rfrja", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1rfrja", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1rahxq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1rfrja/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0e86f0ee40595783", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "11789c3b1cf109e0", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "You are correct, which is why the conversation unfolded as it did.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>You are correct, which is why the conversation unfolded as it did.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672086886.0, "created_utc": 1672086886.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1rg2ql", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1rg2ql", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1rfrja", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1rg2ql/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 5, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 5, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 31, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 31, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "646c49e0385da2c3", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "563893f2eaca673a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "While we're on the subject:\n\nhttps://www.marchofdimes.org/donate\n\nThose guys saved my cousin's life and I'll always be grateful to them", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>While we're on the subject:</p>\n\n<p><a href=\"https://www.marchofdimes.org/donate\">https://www.marchofdimes.org/donate</a></p>\n\n<p>Those guys saved my cousin's life and I'll always be grateful to them</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672077171.0, "created_utc": 1672077171.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qu372", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qu372", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qe0ph", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qu372/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 6, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 6, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "9a25004bc9cf270e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "cead0cf9966b38d6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oh, yes, the hypocrites! My husband and I \"separated\" for the usual reason, he was having affair(s) and left me. We mutually agreed that we would NOT throw each other under the bus, so put a good face on it, when telling my Southern Baptist conservative parents. We had been married for 20 years, happy for 18....until he hit midlife crisis.\n\nMy dad got very upset/angry and wants to know if \\*that\\* is the reason. Now, my perfidious spouse's hand, involuntarily squeezed mine, but no need to fear. I smoothly lied that we needed time to work things out. I (41 at the time) had known, since age 15 that my dad was cheating on my mom.\n\nBut no matter how hurt and angry I was, if I had told the truth about our separation, and Dad lit into my husband, I would have pointed out Dad's hypocrisy, and All Hell would have broken loose. \n\nMy mom would have suffered, as Dad would have blamed her for letting me know. Which she did not, I figured it out on my own.\n\nMy husband returned the favor, no unkind words about me to his widowed mom. We patched things up, after a few years, maintained each other's standing in our elderly parent(s) eyes.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oh, yes, the hypocrites! My husband and I "separated" for the usual reason, he was having affair(s) and left me. We mutually agreed that we would NOT throw each other under the bus, so put a good face on it, when telling my Southern Baptist conservative parents. We had been married for 20 years, happy for 18....until he hit midlife crisis.</p>\n\n<p>My dad got very upset/angry and wants to know if *that* is the reason. Now, my perfidious spouse's hand, involuntarily squeezed mine, but no need to fear. I smoothly lied that we needed time to work things out. I (41 at the time) had known, since age 15 that my dad was cheating on my mom.</p>\n\n<p>But no matter how hurt and angry I was, if I had told the truth about our separation, and Dad lit into my husband, I would have pointed out Dad's hypocrisy, and All Hell would have broken loose. </p>\n\n<p>My mom would have suffered, as Dad would have blamed her for letting me know. Which she did not, I figured it out on my own.</p>\n\n<p>My husband returned the favor, no unkind words about me to his widowed mom. We patched things up, after a few years, maintained each other's standing in our elderly parent(s) eyes.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672083466.0, "created_utc": 1672083466.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1r8n7k", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1r8n7k", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qe0ph", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1r8n7k/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "bbc6d3778580cf4e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b7e727cd1adf4c2e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Thank you for explaining this. I feel dumb for not understanding the first time.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Thank you for explaining this. I feel dumb for not understanding the first time.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672076237.0, "created_utc": 1672076237.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qrvsx", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qrvsx", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qe0ph", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qrvsx/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 459, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 459, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e1f842469cdbd8fe", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "3d8088095f11b46f", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My younger brother was born 14 weeks early. He was 1lb, 11 oz. He had a twin who weighed less and died after three days. Surviving brother spent months in the hospital. I was about 3 and have no memories of this. \n\nMost babies born that early are tiny. Maybe slightly bigger than my brother because he was a twin but not by that much.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My younger brother was born 14 weeks early. He was 1lb, 11 oz. He had a twin who weighed less and died after three days. Surviving brother spent months in the hospital. I was about 3 and have no memories of this. </p>\n\n<p>Most babies born that early are tiny. Maybe slightly bigger than my brother because he was a twin but not by that much.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672072115.0, "created_utc": 1672072115.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qik63", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qik63", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qcfkq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qik63/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "82c12323e68eb0ac", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7a908da3ee057495", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My oldest was born only 6 weeks early and weighed less than 5 lbs", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My oldest was born only 6 weeks early and weighed less than 5 lbs</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1672075719.0, "created_utc": 1672075719.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j1qqp0b", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zvmflw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j1qqp0b", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j1qik63", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zvmflw/aita_for_bringing_up_my_brothers_premature_birth/j1qqp0b/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 61, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 61, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 17, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 17, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 425, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 425, "user_reports": []}
|
Watch "Boy Erased" or "Trapped: The Alex Cooper Story" if you want to learn more
|
kazgfw
|
996e3bdee2beb7c3
| 1,607,694,009
| 4
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and dynamics, particularly parent-child relationships", "Boundary violations and personal property rights disputes", "Workplace interpersonal conflicts and professional boundaries", "Situations involving manipulation, exploitation, or taking advantage of others", "Legal rights and consequences in personal disputes", "Parental favoritism and unequal treatment of siblings", "Adoption, custody, and non-traditional family structures", "Financial disputes and accountability between family members or roommates", "Standing up to toxic or controlling behavior", "Consequences and accountability for harmful actions", "Identity theft and financial fraud within families", "Protecting vulnerable individuals from exploitation"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and the right to enforce them ('You took your toys and went to your new home')", "Accountability and facing consequences for one's actions ('Sometimes a public shaming is what it takes to teach a lesson')", "Opposition to manipulation and exploitation of others ('She thinks she can use you when she is down but she can't be there for you?')", "Belief that people should stand up for themselves and not tolerate mistreatment", "Practical approach to legal and financial protection ('It is the only way to fix your situation and your credit')", "Intolerance for hypocrisy and double standards in relationships", "Support for cutting off toxic relationships regardless of family ties", "Belief that children should not be used as pawns or mistreated ('Who does that to child?')", "Value of reciprocity in relationships - if someone won't support you, you don't owe them support", "Recognition that actions have natural consequences ('You helped Karma along a bit')", "Belief in protecting oneself from being taken advantage of ('people can only treat you like crap if you let them')", "Support for holding institutions and authority figures accountable ('They lied and deserved to be called on their shit')"], "communication": ["Consistently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgments to open responses", "Writes in short, direct sentences averaging 10-20 words per sentence", "Employs rhetorical questions to emphasize points ('Ask him why it is important to him that his friend remains alert and unharmed but not his wife')", "Uses straightforward, no-nonsense language without excessive elaboration", "Occasionally references other subreddits or cultural knowledge ('this needs to go in petty revenge', 'Watch Boy Erased')", "Provides practical, actionable advice alongside moral judgments", "Uses colloquial expressions and metaphors ('You took your toys and went to your new home', 'Congrats on being part of the village')", "Sometimes employs sarcasm or pointed observations to highlight absurdity", "Maintains consistent formatting with brief paragraphs, typically 1-3 sentences", "Directly addresses the core issue without lengthy preambles", "Uses emphatic language to stress important points ('major AHs', 'total AH')", "Occasionally provides factual information when relevant ('In the US that is absolutely how the rules are')"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 25-40 words", "Minimum response length: 8 words ('Watch Boy Erased or Trapped: The Alex Cooper Story if you want to learn more')", "Maximum response length: approximately 80 words (response about husband's coworker situation)", "Most frequent acronym: 'NTA' appears in nearly every response", "Common phrases: 'consequences,' 'boundaries,' 'standing up,' 'face the truth,' 'cut off,' 'toxic'", "Sentence structure: predominantly simple declarative sentences with occasional compound sentences", "Consistent use of periods for emphasis and clarity", "Rhetorical questions appear in approximately 30% of responses", "Practical advice or suggestions included in approximately 40% of responses", "References to legal, financial, or institutional matters in approximately 25% of responses"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for not telling people my missing cousin is staying with me right away?\n\nIt is the middle of the night, and my phone won't stop ringing because of my family.\n\nTo try and keep this short, my cousin \"Jake\" got outed about 4 or five days before his 18th birthday in the summer. His parents, my aunt and uncle, made arrangements for him to be sent to one of those awful camps that claim they could \"cure\" him. A kid in his community was forced to go and came back and was clearly not well, so Jake didn't want to go.\n\nJake ran away from home, and jumped from one family house to another. His folks didn't file a missing person report because they didn't want to look bad to their neighbors. They just told them that he went to that camp willingly.\n\nHe dissapeared in the middle of october, and turned up in my city a week later. After making sure he was safe to bring home, my wife and I allowed him to stay. He didn't want me to tell the rest of the family for a while, because those people at the camp keep showing up to take him.\n\nI made sure to talk to a lawyer, who assured Jake that they cannot take him. Three days ago, he told his parents he was here. A few hours later, those damn camp people showed up, but they were unable to take him.\n\nMy family has been blowing up my phone for the last two days angry that I didn't tell someone sooner. Well, jake didn't feel safe yet, and still doesn't. I wanted to make sure he was ready.\n\nStill, even those that want to protect Jake is upset with me for hiding him.\n\nAITA for not telling anyone that he is here until he was ready?\n\nEDIT: Wow, thank you all for the awards. I don't deserve them but thanks. Since I am drinking coffee and slowly going through the comments I thought I should say a few things.\n\nFirst off, while I figured I wasn't the AH for hiding him from my more narrow minded family, it was those that really wanted to help jake that made me feel guilty. They were all scared out of their minds and wanted the peace to know he was ok. I felt bad for not telling them. Though i am sure they wouldn't had turned him in, I felt bad because we were working on keeping him safe.\n\nAlso, we got a lawyer who got the police on the look out for those camp people in case they try anything. Jake is not going out alone until we are sure he is safe.\n\nThird, we are looking on how to get his paper work, like his birth certificate, here because no way he trusts his parents to just hand them over. My granny in law is talking to some people that could help.\n\nFourth, Jake says hello and thank you.\n\nOh and we're Catholic, not Christian. We're our own special type of jacka$$es.\n\nEDIT Once again: ok you're right about the Catholic/Christian thing. I was raised to split hairs, I apologize.", "role": "justcallmephil35", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"justcallmephil35\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [6]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4xmxrs98\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1607677963.0, \"created_utc\": 1607677963.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1607719448.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"kazgfw\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_kazgfw\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1464, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kazgfw/aita_for_not_telling_people_my_missing_cousin_is/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23673, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"It is the middle of the night, and my phone won't stop ringing because of my family.\\n\\nTo try and keep this short, my cousin \\\"Jake\\\" got outed about 4 or five days before his 18th birthday in the summer. His parents, my aunt and uncle, made arrangements for him to be sent to one of those awful camps that claim they could \\\"cure\\\" him. A kid in his community was forced to go and came back and was clearly not well, so Jake didn't want to go.\\n\\nJake ran away from home, and jumped from one family house to another. His folks didn't file a missing person report because they didn't want to look bad to their neighbors. They just told them that he went to that camp willingly.\\n\\nHe dissapeared in the middle of october, and turned up in my city a week later. After making sure he was safe to bring home, my wife and I allowed him to stay. He didn't want me to tell the rest of the family for a while, because those people at the camp keep showing up to take him.\\n\\nI made sure to talk to a lawyer, who assured Jake that they cannot take him. Three days ago, he told his parents he was here. A few hours later, those damn camp people showed up, but they were unable to take him.\\n\\nMy family has been blowing up my phone for the last two days angry that I didn't tell someone sooner. Well, jake didn't feel safe yet, and still doesn't. I wanted to make sure he was ready.\\n\\nStill, even those that want to protect Jake is upset with me for hiding him.\\n\\nAITA for not telling anyone that he is here until he was ready?\\n\\nEDIT: Wow, thank you all for the awards. I don't deserve them but thanks. Since I am drinking coffee and slowly going through the comments I thought I should say a few things.\\n\\nFirst off, while I figured I wasn't the AH for hiding him from my more narrow minded family, it was those that really wanted to help jake that made me feel guilty. They were all scared out of their minds and wanted the peace to know he was ok. I felt bad for not telling them. Though i am sure they wouldn't had turned him in, I felt bad because we were working on keeping him safe.\\n\\nAlso, we got a lawyer who got the police on the look out for those camp people in case they try anything. Jake is not going out alone until we are sure he is safe.\\n\\nThird, we are looking on how to get his paper work, like his birth certificate, here because no way he trusts his parents to just hand them over. My granny in law is talking to some people that could help.\\n\\nFourth, Jake says hello and thank you.\\n\\nOh and we're Catholic, not Christian. We're our own special type of jacka$$es.\\n\\nEDIT Once again: ok you're right about the Catholic/Christian thing. I was raised to split hairs, I apologize.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>It is the middle of the night, and my phone won't stop ringing because of my family.</p>\\n\\n<p>To try and keep this short, my cousin "Jake" got outed about 4 or five days before his 18th birthday in the summer. His parents, my aunt and uncle, made arrangements for him to be sent to one of those awful camps that claim they could "cure" him. A kid in his community was forced to go and came back and was clearly not well, so Jake didn't want to go.</p>\\n\\n<p>Jake ran away from home, and jumped from one family house to another. His folks didn't file a missing person report because they didn't want to look bad to their neighbors. They just told them that he went to that camp willingly.</p>\\n\\n<p>He dissapeared in the middle of october, and turned up in my city a week later. After making sure he was safe to bring home, my wife and I allowed him to stay. He didn't want me to tell the rest of the family for a while, because those people at the camp keep showing up to take him.</p>\\n\\n<p>I made sure to talk to a lawyer, who assured Jake that they cannot take him. Three days ago, he told his parents he was here. A few hours later, those damn camp people showed up, but they were unable to take him.</p>\\n\\n<p>My family has been blowing up my phone for the last two days angry that I didn't tell someone sooner. Well, jake didn't feel safe yet, and still doesn't. I wanted to make sure he was ready.</p>\\n\\n<p>Still, even those that want to protect Jake is upset with me for hiding him.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for not telling anyone that he is here until he was ready?</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT: Wow, thank you all for the awards. I don't deserve them but thanks. Since I am drinking coffee and slowly going through the comments I thought I should say a few things.</p>\\n\\n<p>First off, while I figured I wasn't the AH for hiding him from my more narrow minded family, it was those that really wanted to help jake that made me feel guilty. They were all scared out of their minds and wanted the peace to know he was ok. I felt bad for not telling them. Though i am sure they wouldn't had turned him in, I felt bad because we were working on keeping him safe.</p>\\n\\n<p>Also, we got a lawyer who got the police on the look out for those camp people in case they try anything. Jake is not going out alone until we are sure he is safe.</p>\\n\\n<p>Third, we are looking on how to get his paper work, like his birth certificate, here because no way he trusts his parents to just hand them over. My granny in law is talking to some people that could help.</p>\\n\\n<p>Fourth, Jake says hello and thank you.</p>\\n\\n<p>Oh and we're Catholic, not Christian. We're our own special type of jacka$$es.</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT Once again: ok you're right about the Catholic/Christian thing. I was raised to split hairs, I apologize.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_kazgfw\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not telling people my missing cousin is staying with me right away?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23673, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kazgfw/aita_for_not_telling_people_my_missing_cousin_is/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. But weird that you think you\u2019d be an asshole for protecting him from those fucked up conversion camps. Keep protecting him. Stick to it man. Make sure he knows he has a safe place to stay with you.", "role": "SlicedNugget", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SlicedNugget\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ab8c0e\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [38]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_y5tlr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. But weird that you think you\\u2019d be an asshole for protecting him from those fucked up conversion camps. Keep protecting him. Stick to it man. Make sure he knows he has a safe place to stay with you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. But weird that you think you\\u2019d be an asshole for protecting him from those fucked up conversion camps. Keep protecting him. Stick to it man. Make sure he knows he has a safe place to stay with you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1607678317.0, \"created_utc\": 1607678317.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gfdkudu\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, 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\"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 20426, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Family guilting you can be a weird and strong thing, but yeah definitely NTA.", "role": "FDWoolridge", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"FDWoolridge\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [5]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1vwqi0q5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Family guilting you can be a weird and strong thing, but yeah definitely NTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Family guilting you can be a weird and strong thing, but yeah definitely NTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1607678574.0, \"created_utc\": 1607678574.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gfdl3fg\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kazgfw\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gfdl3fg\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gfdkudu\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kazgfw/aita_for_not_telling_people_my_missing_cousin_is/gfdl3fg/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 7026, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, 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But WTF are these camps? Sounds horrendous and abusive... is this really the 21st century???", "role": "Laurelinn", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Laurelinn\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2lc5ijb\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Could be indeed, especially if this is the \\\"family normal\\\". But WTF are these camps? Sounds horrendous and abusive... is this really the 21st century???\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Could be indeed, especially if this is the "family normal". But WTF are these camps? Sounds horrendous and abusive... is this really the 21st century???</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1607690374.0, \"created_utc\": 1607690374.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gfdx3w5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kazgfw\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gfdx3w5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gfdl3fg\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kazgfw/aita_for_not_telling_people_my_missing_cousin_is/gfdx3w5/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 286, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 286, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "996e3bdee2beb7c3", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [3]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "4c3c553d109b6fbe", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Watch \"Boy Erased\" or \"Trapped: The Alex Cooper Story\" if you want to learn more", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Watch "Boy Erased" or "Trapped: The Alex Cooper Story" if you want to learn more</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607694009.0, "created_utc": 1607694009.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gfe25vu", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_kazgfw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gfe25vu", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gfdx3w5", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kazgfw/aita_for_not_telling_people_my_missing_cousin_is/gfe25vu/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 37, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 37, "user_reports": []}
|
You have a genuine reason and have conveyed that reason to your co-workers so that they know you're not doing it to belittle them. That's all you can do. You've allowed them the dignity of knowing that you would love to be able to pronounce their names, but that you struggle to do so.
This stepsister apparently has no such excuse. She's just using microaggressions to try and make her sister feel small.
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mnnms8
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a2820e971c905434
| 1,618,007,828
| 4
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent of at least three children (mentions 'my son' and 'his brother and sister'); has ADHD (explicitly states 'I also have ADHD'); likely uses British English based on spelling patterns ('realise', 'behaviour')"}, "interests": ["Parenting and child development, particularly around body image and self-esteem in children", "Managing ADHD and neurodivergence in daily life and parenting", "Family dynamics and sibling relationships", "Child psychology and age-appropriate expectations for children's behavior", "Autism awareness and understanding neurodivergent communication needs", "Relationship boundaries and recognizing manipulative behavior", "Supporting children through physical and emotional changes during growth", "Interpersonal conflict resolution within families", "Distinguishing between genuine difficulties and intentional disrespect", "Protecting children from harmful comments about their appearance", "Understanding the impact of adult behavior on children's development"], "values": ["Protecting children's self-esteem and body image: 'I told him it's my job to worry about his diet, not his, and that he'd grow out of it when he took a stretch'", "Opposing body-shaming at any age: 'Kids being a bit overweight isn't always diet related. They need to be made to feel comfortable in their own skin'", "Believing children's appearance changes are temporary and normal: 'Everything except family is temporary for kids'", "Valuing clear communication and explanation, especially with neurodivergent individuals", "Taking personal accountability rather than blaming others: 'What I don't do is blame other people for it. That's just weird behaviour'", "Recognizing and calling out microaggressions and intentional disrespect: 'This stepsister apparently has no such excuse. She's just using microaggressions'", "Supporting unconditional relationships over manipulative ones: 'Your horse loves you back, unconditionally'", "Believing adults should take responsibility without needing reminders from others", "Opposing toxic family dynamics and supporting healthy boundaries", "Valuing dignity and respect in all interactions, particularly with vulnerable individuals", "Believing in learning from mistakes and open discussion to resolve conflicts"], "communication": ["Uses British English spelling consistently: 'realise', 'behaviour', 'apologise'", "Employs warm, conversational tone with casual expressions: 'Ahhh', 'Omg', 'Nah', 'xx'", "Frequently shares personal anecdotes to illustrate points: 'My son used to say he was fat and had \"flabs\"'", "Uses emphatic language and exclamation marks when discussing strongly-held beliefs", "Shows empathy and emotional intelligence: 'I'm very glad that everything has been discussed and everyone has learned'", "Incorporates humor occasionally: 'Movie premiere of \"The plants have legs!\"'", "Structures responses with personal experience followed by advice or broader observations", "Uses contractions frequently for casual tone: 'I'm', 'it's', 'that's', 'I'd'", "Mixes short punchy statements with longer explanatory sentences", "Employs direct, clear language when calling out problematic behavior", "Shows supportive and validating language toward others: 'Yes, that happens sometimes'"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 60-80 words, with range from 8 words to 180+ words", "Frequently uses exclamation marks for emphasis and emotional expression", "Common phrases include: 'My son', 'I told him/her', 'That's just', 'Kids', 'It's'", "Uses first-person narrative extensively, often beginning responses with 'I' or 'My'", "Employs British English spelling patterns throughout all responses", "Frequently uses contractions (I'm, it's, that's, I'd, you're) for conversational tone", "Often structures responses as: personal anecdote + explanation + advice/opinion", "Uses quotation marks frequently to reference direct speech or emphasize specific phrases", "Sentence structure varies from short 5-8 word sentences to complex 25+ word sentences"]}
|
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I told her that i was sorry about misspronouncing a word in one of the 5 languages i speak while she only speaks English and can't ever get a Korean name right.\n\nMy step mom was FURIOUS and oh god if there was trouble when i got home. Everyone is mad at me for making my step sis seem uneducated in public.\n\nAm i the asshole?\n\nEdit to add: She has no speech impediment, i gave her the option of going by my initial and her mom, the woman that almost let me die when i was 15 gets my name right.", "role": "Idkrandomname0", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Idkrandomname0\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_bfqohp75\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1617993294.0, \"created_utc\": 1617993294.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1618008166.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"mnnms8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_mnnms8\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1236, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mnnms8/aita_for_making_my_step_sister_seem_uneducated/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23507, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Hi. So, i (f21) am currently staying with my family on my dad's side. My step sister is 19. We never got along. I grew up in Korea and have a Korean name. I won't say it here but it's the same as a Blackpink member, not too hard to pronounce specially after 7 years of being my step sister but she always gets it wrong to a point that it seems on purpose. \\nThe rest of the family gets it right, except for my little sister but she is 3 lol\\n\\nI speak 5 languages in total, my step brother speaks 3, my step sister never wanted to learn even thought she had the chance.\\n\\nAnyway i am TIRED of her never getting my name right. We were in a small reunion yesterday (all safe) and she kept misspronouncing it.\\n\\nAt one point i misspronounced a word and my sister made fun of it in front of everyone, making everyone laugh at me. I was tired, i wasn't feeling well and wanted to just go home. I told her that i was sorry about misspronouncing a word in one of the 5 languages i speak while she only speaks English and can't ever get a Korean name right.\\n\\nMy step mom was FURIOUS and oh god if there was trouble when i got home. Everyone is mad at me for making my step sis seem uneducated in public.\\n\\nAm i the asshole?\\n\\nEdit to add: She has no speech impediment, i gave her the option of going by my initial and her mom, the woman that almost let me die when i was 15 gets my name right.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Hi. So, i (f21) am currently staying with my family on my dad's side. My step sister is 19. We never got along. I grew up in Korea and have a Korean name. I won't say it here but it's the same as a Blackpink member, not too hard to pronounce specially after 7 years of being my step sister but she always gets it wrong to a point that it seems on purpose. \\nThe rest of the family gets it right, except for my little sister but she is 3 lol</p>\\n\\n<p>I speak 5 languages in total, my step brother speaks 3, my step sister never wanted to learn even thought she had the chance.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway i am TIRED of her never getting my name right. We were in a small reunion yesterday (all safe) and she kept misspronouncing it.</p>\\n\\n<p>At one point i misspronounced a word and my sister made fun of it in front of everyone, making everyone laugh at me. I was tired, i wasn't feeling well and wanted to just go home. I told her that i was sorry about misspronouncing a word in one of the 5 languages i speak while she only speaks English and can't ever get a Korean name right.</p>\\n\\n<p>My step mom was FURIOUS and oh god if there was trouble when i got home. Everyone is mad at me for making my step sis seem uneducated in public.</p>\\n\\n<p>Am i the asshole?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit to add: She has no speech impediment, i gave her the option of going by my initial and her mom, the woman that almost let me die when i was 15 gets my name right.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_mnnms8\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for making my step sister seem \\\"uneducated\\\"?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23507, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mnnms8/aita_for_making_my_step_sister_seem_uneducated/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You didn't make her seem uneducated. You revealed that she's being racist by refusing to pronounce your name correctly.", "role": "MaIngallsisaracist", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"MaIngallsisaracist\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#e3be04\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"e899ca7e-a710-11e9-8365-0e193c0f4a16\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Professor Emeritass [79]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8vlrq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You didn't make her seem uneducated. You revealed that she's being racist by refusing to pronounce your name correctly.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You didn't make her seem uneducated. You revealed that she's being racist by refusing to pronounce your name correctly.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1617993620.0, \"created_utc\": 1617993620.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gtylcpr\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_mnnms8\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gtylcpr\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_mnnms8\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mnnms8/aita_for_making_my_step_sister_seem_uneducated/gtylcpr/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 21950, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 21950, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "This is 100% racist behavior. When people do this, they are emphasizing the otherness of an entire group of people to put themselves over and above them.\n\nAsk about her favourite GOT character; bet she has no trouble with Khlaeesi or other names which could be construed as \u201cdifficult to pronounce\u201d", "role": "Dark_fascination", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Dark_fascination\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5hp8ksjc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \" This is 100% racist behavior. When people do this, they are emphasizing the otherness of an entire group of people to put themselves over and above them.\\n\\nAsk about her favourite GOT character; bet she has no trouble with Khlaeesi or other names which could be construed as \\u201cdifficult to pronounce\\u201d\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This is 100% racist behavior. When people do this, they are emphasizing the otherness of an entire group of people to put themselves over and above them.</p>\\n\\n<p>Ask about her favourite GOT character; bet she has no trouble with Khlaeesi or other names which could be construed as \\u201cdifficult to pronounce\\u201d</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1618003807.0, \"created_utc\": 1618003807.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gtz73od\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_mnnms8\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gtz73od\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gtylcpr\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mnnms8/aita_for_making_my_step_sister_seem_uneducated/gtz73od/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1101, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1101, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "It is not always. There are two coworkers names that I struggle with constantly. My mouth just can't make the right sound -- and I have tried over and over and over again. \n\nPart of the problem is I had a stroke years ago-- so there are lots of English words I mispronounce too. \n\nI would never want my coworkers to feel disrespected so I do share with them about the stroke, and do ask them to correct me as often as possible as that helps. They know I'm trying-- I'm about 50% of the time getting their names right. \n\nMost of the time, I just try not to say their names at all, or use their last names which are easier -- but I do that on lots of calls where we have numerous people with the same first name. \n\nI do similar tricks with other non-name words that I always mispronounce and mangle horribly. I am lucky to be married to an understanding husband who is helpful in correcting me in a tactful way.", "role": "temp4adhd", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"temp4adhd\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_da9mo\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"It is not always. There are two coworkers names that I struggle with constantly. My mouth just can't make the right sound -- and I have tried over and over and over again. \\n\\nPart of the problem is I had a stroke years ago-- so there are lots of English words I mispronounce too. \\n\\nI would never want my coworkers to feel disrespected so I do share with them about the stroke, and do ask them to correct me as often as possible as that helps. They know I'm trying-- I'm about 50% of the time getting their names right. \\n\\nMost of the time, I just try not to say their names at all, or use their last names which are easier -- but I do that on lots of calls where we have numerous people with the same first name. \\n\\nI do similar tricks with other non-name words that I always mispronounce and mangle horribly. I am lucky to be married to an understanding husband who is helpful in correcting me in a tactful way.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>It is not always. There are two coworkers names that I struggle with constantly. My mouth just can't make the right sound -- and I have tried over and over and over again. </p>\\n\\n<p>Part of the problem is I had a stroke years ago-- so there are lots of English words I mispronounce too. </p>\\n\\n<p>I would never want my coworkers to feel disrespected so I do share with them about the stroke, and do ask them to correct me as often as possible as that helps. They know I'm trying-- I'm about 50% of the time getting their names right. </p>\\n\\n<p>Most of the time, I just try not to say their names at all, or use their last names which are easier -- but I do that on lots of calls where we have numerous people with the same first name. </p>\\n\\n<p>I do similar tricks with other non-name words that I always mispronounce and mangle horribly. I am lucky to be married to an understanding husband who is helpful in correcting me in a tactful way.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1618007111.0, \"created_utc\": 1618007111.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gtzdojc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_mnnms8\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gtzdojc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gtz73od\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mnnms8/aita_for_making_my_step_sister_seem_uneducated/gtzdojc/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 309, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 309, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a2820e971c905434", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "bfbb9cd3a84be2e2", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "You have a genuine reason and have conveyed that reason to your co-workers so that they know you're not doing it to belittle them. That's all you can do. You've allowed them the dignity of knowing that you would love to be able to pronounce their names, but that you struggle to do so. \n\nThis stepsister apparently has no such excuse. She's just using microaggressions to try and make her sister feel small.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>You have a genuine reason and have conveyed that reason to your co-workers so that they know you're not doing it to belittle them. That's all you can do. You've allowed them the dignity of knowing that you would love to be able to pronounce their names, but that you struggle to do so. </p>\n\n<p>This stepsister apparently has no such excuse. She's just using microaggressions to try and make her sister feel small.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1618007828.0, "created_utc": 1618007828.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gtzf2s3", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_mnnms8", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gtzf2s3", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gtzdojc", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mnnms8/aita_for_making_my_step_sister_seem_uneducated/gtzf2s3/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 54, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 54, "user_reports": []}
|
That's more like it.
|
e27d33
|
b8ad5f1b7513eaf3
| 1,574,824,271
| 6
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Volunteer Reddit moderator for r/AmItheAsshole with a separate full-time job, as stated: 'I'm an unpaid volunteer who has a real job to get to'"}, "interests": ["Community moderation and subreddit governance, actively managing rule enforcement and user behavior", "Reddit voting mechanics and their impact on content quality, frequently explaining proper upvoting practices", "Preventing validation posts and maintaining interesting content, stating 'Stop rewarding validation posts'", "Combating echo chambers and promoting diverse perspectives in discussions", "Managing trolls, spam, and rule violations while giving users opportunities to reform", "Distinguishing between judgment and advice, emphasizing 'Saying you are wrong is an observation. Giving instructions for how to proceed is advice'", "Subreddit growth management, noting the community 'just blew past 800,000 subscribers'", "Civil discourse and preventing harassment, warning against 'anti-fat screed' and 'misogyny'", "Technical aspects of Reddit moderation, discussing CSS, flairs, and voting systems", "Balancing free expression with community standards in online forums"], "values": ["Civility and respectful adult communication, stating 'if you can't describe those thoughts like a respectful adult, you're in the wrong sub'", "Nuanced judgment over simplistic life advice, emphasizing 'THIS IS NOT AN ADVICE SUBREDDIT' and warning against 'Mobs of strangers on the internet getting only a tiny piece of the story'", "Intellectual diversity and avoiding echo chambers, instructing 'Don't downvote everyone you disagree with'", "Content quality over popularity, criticizing users who 'upvote a boring, obvious post because the OP is admirable and blameless'", "Second chances and educational moderation, explaining 'We feel reasonable commenters can get over-excited and say something that breaks our civility rule'", "Transparency in moderation decisions, providing detailed explanations rather than arbitrary enforcement", "Distinguishing observation from prescription, noting 'These are two separate things' when discussing judgment versus advice", "Protecting vulnerable groups from harassment while allowing robust debate", "Pragmatism about human nature, acknowledging 'What sounds unreasonable to you or I might just be an unreasonable person out in the world'", "User agency and personal responsibility, telling users to 'show a little backbone' and make their own decisions"], "communication": ["Direct and authoritative tone appropriate to moderator role, using commands like 'cut your shit out'", "Strategic use of bold text and formatting for emphasis on key points", "Dry humor and sarcasm, responding '100% of your statistics are made up' and 'Sure, but when do you estimate their arrival will be?' (about ETA/ESH confusion)", "Patient explanatory style when addressing user questions, providing detailed rationales for policies", "Willingness to engage in extended back-and-forth discussions about subreddit philosophy", "Self-aware about receiving criticism, mentioning 'You should see my hatemail!' with humor", "Uses rhetorical questions and hypotheticals to illustrate points", "Maintains professionalism even when frustrated, though allows exasperation to show ('stupid voting makes mods angry')", "Concise responses when appropriate, ranging from single sentences to multi-paragraph explanations", "References to existing documentation, frequently directing users to 'read the full rule book and the FAQ'", "Acknowledges limitations of moderation tools, explaining 'reddit used to allow mods to totally disable downvoting' but no longer"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 5 words ('Fine by me.') to 200+ words in policy explanations", "Frequently uses phrases like 'THIS IS NOT AN ADVICE SUBREDDIT,' 'validation post,' 'upvote,' and 'echo chamber'", "Average response length approximately 50-80 words, with significant variation based on context", "Uses bold text formatting in nearly every substantial response for emphasis", "Employs bullet points and structured formatting in longer explanatory posts", "Common sentence structures include imperatives ('Please browse by new'), conditional statements ('If you think...'), and explanatory clauses", "Shortest response: 5 words ('Fine by me.'); Longest responses: 200+ words in meta posts", "Frequently references rules, FAQs, and subreddit documentation with hyperlinks", "Uses parenthetical asides for additional context or humor"]}
|
[{"content": "Want to NOT be the asshole? Adopt a dog in need!\n\nHi everyone, I'm your friendly, neighborhood subreddit founder. The rest of the team and I have been busting our humps day in and day out moderating away the very worst vitriol and troll traffic we find in this space and we think we've earned the right to consider our growing forum **NOT the most evil place on reddit**...maybe even not bottom five. This is just ducky, but we think we can do more to make this a positive and generous place, even if we can't get y'all to behave all the time. In addition to being really jazzed about telling others how to act, we have also discovered that we're a cabal of unapologetic dog lovers punctuated by a few weirdos who like cats.\n\nWith that in mind, we've decided to try to do some good with our moralizing, finger-wagging forum by trying something new:\n\n# The Rescue Dog of the Moment\n\nIf you miss the cute segment on morning news when they bring out a group of local shelter pets, to get them a publicity bump, but you never get to see that because *who the hell is watching local morning news anymore,* then this post is for YOU!\n\n# [This is Hazel](https://imgur.com/gallery/tAqmmCX)!\n\nHazel is a 4 year old Rottweiler/Boxer(?)/Pittie(?) who's been living in her foster home for 2 years waiting for her furever home. She's healthy and happy. She is a sweet, gentle lady who loves to kiss faces and is prone to occasional bursts of silliness.\n\nShe's available to adopters in and around New England. If you'd like to consider giving Hazel the home she richly deserves, her adoption profile is here: [https://bigfluffydogs.com/our-dogs/hazel-3/](https://bigfluffydogs.com/our-dogs/hazel-3/) (And if you DO eventually adopt her, be sure to come back here to brag so you can be sub hero for a week!)\n\nIf you aren't in the Northeast, but have the kindness to adopt a dog in need, try searching for a rescue organization on [Petfinder](https://www.petfinder.com/animal-shelters-and-rescues/search/). I promise that there are many great dogs and probably many great rescue orgs in your area!\n\n**Some ground rules:**\n\nThe way it works is we're going to sticky this post until Hazel gets a home with a \"furever\" family. We're not going to show you a dog and say he's on death row. We're not going to shock or depress you with a canine trainwreck and ask for donations for vet bills. We'll just keep one happy pup's picture up, while she's safe in a loving foster home, and hope that you'll share her pics and check out her rescue site until somone takes this lovable little fuzzface home. If a subscriber does adopt her, we'll even keep her sticky post up for a while after adoption, giving the adopter plenty of time to brag about their new furkid and post happy pictures of their new best goodgirl at home. **Let's see if 1.5 million potential assholes can bring a family together before the year's over!**\n\nIf you don't want to see rescue dogs, all you have to do is ignore one sticky post, quit yer whining, and enjoy the sub as usual.\n\nFull disclosure, I'm a board member of Hazel's rescue. No money is changing hands and no considerations are being offered or transferred between us. I just want to make room for one more deserving dog to get out of the shelter system and get as many of you thinking about fostering, rescuing, and adopting-not-shopping as possible.\n\nP.S. If you happen to be Chrissy Teigen, please tweet about this!\n\n*Edit: It seems there is a substantial group of people with hatred for dogs or specific breeds out there on reddit, and they have come to this discussion to try to spoil a good thing with baseless accusations fueled by paranoia. Whenever any dog has shown the slightest interest in chasing cats (or in Hazel's case, because she has chased squirrels and rabbits in her foster's yard), the rescue puts the exaggerated statement \"They think that cats are tasty treats\" into the Petfinder description so that no one with a cat becomes interested, and we never have to risk an adopter irresponsibly mixing that dog with their cat. Hazel has NO history of aggression against people or cats. --Anyone saying she was abandoned because of either of these things is making up stories.--* \n\n*Out of abundant concern, the rescue will not place her with any households that will mix her with cats. As for small children...there is no history of aggression toward people of any age. It's my feeling that a healthy and friendly 65lb dog who occasionally runs around with excitement can knock little kids down and bump them by accident. (Ever have a dog headbutt you because you were leaning over them when they decided to jump up? That kind of thing.) The rescue will explain her energy level in detail to any family with small children who applies and let them decide if they think their child is old/large/mature enough to handle this. In some cases, the rescue will make that evaluation and not approve the application. This is a very thoughtful, careful process that is carried out in private between the individual who applies and the co-ordinator who knows the dog much better than I (or anyone in a comment stream making gross assumptions) does.*", "role": "flignir", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"flignir\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#349e48\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ed1a2f68-f3f5-11e8-8b67-0e6f6549868a\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole #1\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7q73v\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1574813686.0, \"created_utc\": 1574813686.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": \"moderator\", \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1574865384.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"e27d33\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"47fdebc0-d3af-11e8-80cb-0e369ce83cd4\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Charitable META\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_e27d33\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1259, \"num_crossposts\": 8, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e27d33/want_to_not_be_the_asshole_adopt_a_dog_in_need/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23217, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Hi everyone, I'm your friendly, neighborhood subreddit founder. The rest of the team and I have been busting our humps day in and day out moderating away the very worst vitriol and troll traffic we find in this space and we think we've earned the right to consider our growing forum **NOT the most evil place on reddit**...maybe even not bottom five. This is just ducky, but we think we can do more to make this a positive and generous place, even if we can't get y'all to behave all the time. In addition to being really jazzed about telling others how to act, we have also discovered that we're a cabal of unapologetic dog lovers punctuated by a few weirdos who like cats.\\n\\nWith that in mind, we've decided to try to do some good with our moralizing, finger-wagging forum by trying something new:\\n\\n# The Rescue Dog of the Moment\\n\\nIf you miss the cute segment on morning news when they bring out a group of local shelter pets, to get them a publicity bump, but you never get to see that because *who the hell is watching local morning news anymore,* then this post is for YOU!\\n\\n# [This is Hazel](https://imgur.com/gallery/tAqmmCX)!\\n\\nHazel is a 4 year old Rottweiler/Boxer(?)/Pittie(?) who's been living in her foster home for 2 years waiting for her furever home. She's healthy and happy. She is a sweet, gentle lady who loves to kiss faces and is prone to occasional bursts of silliness.\\n\\nShe's available to adopters in and around New England. If you'd like to consider giving Hazel the home she richly deserves, her adoption profile is here: [https://bigfluffydogs.com/our-dogs/hazel-3/](https://bigfluffydogs.com/our-dogs/hazel-3/) (And if you DO eventually adopt her, be sure to come back here to brag so you can be sub hero for a week!)\\n\\nIf you aren't in the Northeast, but have the kindness to adopt a dog in need, try searching for a rescue organization on [Petfinder](https://www.petfinder.com/animal-shelters-and-rescues/search/). I promise that there are many great dogs and probably many great rescue orgs in your area!\\n\\n**Some ground rules:**\\n\\nThe way it works is we're going to sticky this post until Hazel gets a home with a \\\"furever\\\" family. We're not going to show you a dog and say he's on death row. We're not going to shock or depress you with a canine trainwreck and ask for donations for vet bills. We'll just keep one happy pup's picture up, while she's safe in a loving foster home, and hope that you'll share her pics and check out her rescue site until somone takes this lovable little fuzzface home. If a subscriber does adopt her, we'll even keep her sticky post up for a while after adoption, giving the adopter plenty of time to brag about their new furkid and post happy pictures of their new best goodgirl at home. **Let's see if 1.5 million potential assholes can bring a family together before the year's over!**\\n\\nIf you don't want to see rescue dogs, all you have to do is ignore one sticky post, quit yer whining, and enjoy the sub as usual.\\n\\nFull disclosure, I'm a board member of Hazel's rescue. No money is changing hands and no considerations are being offered or transferred between us. I just want to make room for one more deserving dog to get out of the shelter system and get as many of you thinking about fostering, rescuing, and adopting-not-shopping as possible.\\n\\nP.S. If you happen to be Chrissy Teigen, please tweet about this!\\n\\n*Edit: It seems there is a substantial group of people with hatred for dogs or specific breeds out there on reddit, and they have come to this discussion to try to spoil a good thing with baseless accusations fueled by paranoia. Whenever any dog has shown the slightest interest in chasing cats (or in Hazel's case, because she has chased squirrels and rabbits in her foster's yard), the rescue puts the exaggerated statement \\\"They think that cats are tasty treats\\\" into the Petfinder description so that no one with a cat becomes interested, and we never have to risk an adopter irresponsibly mixing that dog with their cat. Hazel has NO history of aggression against people or cats. --Anyone saying she was abandoned because of either of these things is making up stories.--* \\n\\n*Out of abundant concern, the rescue will not place her with any households that will mix her with cats. As for small children...there is no history of aggression toward people of any age. It's my feeling that a healthy and friendly 65lb dog who occasionally runs around with excitement can knock little kids down and bump them by accident. (Ever have a dog headbutt you because you were leaning over them when they decided to jump up? That kind of thing.) The rescue will explain her energy level in detail to any family with small children who applies and let them decide if they think their child is old/large/mature enough to handle this. In some cases, the rescue will make that evaluation and not approve the application. This is a very thoughtful, careful process that is carried out in private between the individual who applies and the co-ordinator who knows the dog much better than I (or anyone in a comment stream making gross assumptions) does.*\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Hi everyone, I'm your friendly, neighborhood subreddit founder. The rest of the team and I have been busting our humps day in and day out moderating away the very worst vitriol and troll traffic we find in this space and we think we've earned the right to consider our growing forum <strong>NOT the most evil place on reddit</strong>...maybe even not bottom five. This is just ducky, but we think we can do more to make this a positive and generous place, even if we can't get y'all to behave all the time. In addition to being really jazzed about telling others how to act, we have also discovered that we're a cabal of unapologetic dog lovers punctuated by a few weirdos who like cats.</p>\\n\\n<p>With that in mind, we've decided to try to do some good with our moralizing, finger-wagging forum by trying something new:</p>\\n\\n<h1>The Rescue Dog of the Moment</h1>\\n\\n<p>If you miss the cute segment on morning news when they bring out a group of local shelter pets, to get them a publicity bump, but you never get to see that because <em>who the hell is watching local morning news anymore,</em> then this post is for YOU!</p>\\n\\n<h1><a href=\\\"https://imgur.com/gallery/tAqmmCX\\\">This is Hazel</a>!</h1>\\n\\n<p>Hazel is a 4 year old Rottweiler/Boxer(?)/Pittie(?) who's been living in her foster home for 2 years waiting for her furever home. She's healthy and happy. She is a sweet, gentle lady who loves to kiss faces and is prone to occasional bursts of silliness.</p>\\n\\n<p>She's available to adopters in and around New England. If you'd like to consider giving Hazel the home she richly deserves, her adoption profile is here: <a href=\\\"https://bigfluffydogs.com/our-dogs/hazel-3/\\\">https://bigfluffydogs.com/our-dogs/hazel-3/</a> (And if you DO eventually adopt her, be sure to come back here to brag so you can be sub hero for a week!)</p>\\n\\n<p>If you aren't in the Northeast, but have the kindness to adopt a dog in need, try searching for a rescue organization on <a href=\\\"https://www.petfinder.com/animal-shelters-and-rescues/search/\\\">Petfinder</a>. I promise that there are many great dogs and probably many great rescue orgs in your area!</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Some ground rules:</strong></p>\\n\\n<p>The way it works is we're going to sticky this post until Hazel gets a home with a "furever" family. We're not going to show you a dog and say he's on death row. We're not going to shock or depress you with a canine trainwreck and ask for donations for vet bills. We'll just keep one happy pup's picture up, while she's safe in a loving foster home, and hope that you'll share her pics and check out her rescue site until somone takes this lovable little fuzzface home. If a subscriber does adopt her, we'll even keep her sticky post up for a while after adoption, giving the adopter plenty of time to brag about their new furkid and post happy pictures of their new best goodgirl at home. <strong>Let's see if 1.5 million potential assholes can bring a family together before the year's over!</strong></p>\\n\\n<p>If you don't want to see rescue dogs, all you have to do is ignore one sticky post, quit yer whining, and enjoy the sub as usual.</p>\\n\\n<p>Full disclosure, I'm a board member of Hazel's rescue. No money is changing hands and no considerations are being offered or transferred between us. I just want to make room for one more deserving dog to get out of the shelter system and get as many of you thinking about fostering, rescuing, and adopting-not-shopping as possible.</p>\\n\\n<p>P.S. If you happen to be Chrissy Teigen, please tweet about this!</p>\\n\\n<p><em>Edit: It seems there is a substantial group of people with hatred for dogs or specific breeds out there on reddit, and they have come to this discussion to try to spoil a good thing with baseless accusations fueled by paranoia. Whenever any dog has shown the slightest interest in chasing cats (or in Hazel's case, because she has chased squirrels and rabbits in her foster's yard), the rescue puts the exaggerated statement "They think that cats are tasty treats" into the Petfinder description so that no one with a cat becomes interested, and we never have to risk an adopter irresponsibly mixing that dog with their cat. Hazel has NO history of aggression against people or cats. --Anyone saying she was abandoned because of either of these things is making up stories.--</em> </p>\\n\\n<p><em>Out of abundant concern, the rescue will not place her with any households that will mix her with cats. As for small children...there is no history of aggression toward people of any age. It's my feeling that a healthy and friendly 65lb dog who occasionally runs around with excitement can knock little kids down and bump them by accident. (Ever have a dog headbutt you because you were leaning over them when they decided to jump up? That kind of thing.) The rescue will explain her energy level in detail to any family with small children who applies and let them decide if they think their child is old/large/mature enough to handle this. In some cases, the rescue will make that evaluation and not approve the application. This is a very thoughtful, careful process that is carried out in private between the individual who applies and the co-ordinator who knows the dog much better than I (or anyone in a comment stream making gross assumptions) does.</em></p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_e27d33\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"Want to NOT be the asshole? Adopt a dog in need!\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23217, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.83, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e27d33/want_to_not_be_the_asshole_adopt_a_dog_in_need/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "\"A few weirdos who like cats\"\n\nWhat if my cat acts like a dog?", "role": "wpsp2010", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"wpsp2010\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, 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{"content": "Then you have the world's best cat.", "role": "flignir", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"flignir\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#349e48\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ed1a2f68-f3f5-11e8-8b67-0e6f6549868a\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole #1\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7q73v\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Then you have the world's best cat.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Then you have the world's best cat.</p>\\n</div>\", 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\"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 916, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "That\u2019s my cat! My wife is a dog person and thought she didn\u2019t like cats, but ours won her over. She\u2019s a giant cuddler and loves attention. She\u2019ll go out of her way to sit on our laps and nuzzle us. She even licks us which is just weird.\n\nUnfortunately our dog is a bit of an asshole and thinks the living room is exclusively hers so they\u2019ve had to kind of split up the house.", "role": "techiesgoboom", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"techiesgoboom\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#349e48\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"32f789be-a7cd-11e9-9b77-0e47dff00dfe\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Sphincter Supreme\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7ojjg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": true, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"That\\u2019s my cat! My wife is a dog person and thought she didn\\u2019t like cats, but ours won her over. She\\u2019s a giant cuddler and loves attention. She\\u2019ll go out of her way to sit on our laps and nuzzle us. She even licks us which is just weird.\\n\\nUnfortunately our dog is a bit of an asshole and thinks the living room is exclusively hers so they\\u2019ve had to kind of split up the house.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>That\\u2019s my cat! My wife is a dog person and thought she didn\\u2019t like cats, but ours won her over. She\\u2019s a giant cuddler and loves attention. She\\u2019ll go out of her way to sit on our laps and nuzzle us. She even licks us which is just weird.</p>\\n\\n<p>Unfortunately our dog is a bit of an asshole and thinks the living room is exclusively hers so they\\u2019ve had to kind of split up the house.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1574823826.0, \"created_utc\": 1574823826.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f8uanby\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e27d33\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f8uanby\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f8u9a7c\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e27d33/want_to_not_be_the_asshole_adopt_a_dog_in_need/f8uanby/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 282, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 282, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": ">our dog is a bit of an asshole\n[...quoted text...]\n\nFake story", "role": "flignir", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"flignir\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#349e48\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ed1a2f68-f3f5-11e8-8b67-0e6f6549868a\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole #1\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7q73v\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \">our dog is a bit of an asshole\\n\\nFake story\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><blockquote>\\n<p>our dog is a bit of an asshole</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>Fake story</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, 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\"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 327, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Ha! Well more like \"well meaning doofus\". \n\nShe absolutely *loves* the cat, and the way she expresses that love is by chasing her and getting up in her face, sometimes trying to lick her. And unfortunately our cat's previous owners had front declawed her so the cat can't effectively tell the dog to back off. The dog just thinks it's all a game.", "role": "techiesgoboom", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"techiesgoboom\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#349e48\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"32f789be-a7cd-11e9-9b77-0e47dff00dfe\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Sphincter Supreme\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7ojjg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": true, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Ha! Well more like \\\"well meaning doofus\\\". \\n\\nShe absolutely *loves* the cat, and the way she expresses that love is by chasing her and getting up in her face, sometimes trying to lick her. And unfortunately our cat's previous owners had front declawed her so the cat can't effectively tell the dog to back off. The dog just thinks it's all a game.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Ha! Well more like "well meaning doofus". </p>\\n\\n<p>She absolutely <em>loves</em> the cat, and the way she expresses that love is by chasing her and getting up in her face, sometimes trying to lick her. And unfortunately our cat's previous owners had front declawed her so the cat can't effectively tell the dog to back off. The dog just thinks it's all a game.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1574824233.0, \"created_utc\": 1574824233.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f8ub5ii\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e27d33\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f8ub5ii\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f8uaq9m\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e27d33/want_to_not_be_the_asshole_adopt_a_dog_in_need/f8ub5ii/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 135, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 135, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b8ad5f1b7513eaf3", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#349e48", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ed1a2f68-f3f5-11e8-8b67-0e6f6549868a", "author_flair_text": "Asshole #1", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "73a06080a9c44918", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That's more like it.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That's more like it.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1574824271.0, "created_utc": 1574824271.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f8ub76h", "is_submitter": true, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e27d33", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f8ub76h", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f8ub5ii", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e27d33/want_to_not_be_the_asshole_adopt_a_dog_in_need/f8ub76h/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 87, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 87, "user_reports": []}
|
Sarah isn't the reason. Your wife's treatment of Sarah is the reason. Your wife is the reason.
|
ku4ppq
|
d34db8b65d346fef
| 1,610,248,749
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and intergenerational conflicts, particularly involving toxic parents and boundary-setting", "Workplace conflicts and professional relationships, especially regarding fairness and recognition", "Financial independence and autonomy in relationships", "Educational decisions and college experiences, including living arrangements", "Gender dynamics and discrimination in professional settings", "Parenting decisions and child welfare considerations", "Relationship conflicts involving manipulation and control", "Housing and living situation decisions, including roommate dynamics", "Mental health and therapy as tools for processing difficult situations", "Systemic issues like nepotism, diversity hiring, and workplace culture", "Personal boundaries in family relationships and romantic partnerships", "Long-term consequences of toxic relationship patterns"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy and independence ('Family is better with space IMO')", "Emphasis on mental health over family obligations ('Focus on school. Focus on therapy')", "Recognition that toxic behavior patterns reveal character ('THIS IS WHO HE IS when things aren't sunshine and rainbows')", "Belief that people should not tolerate abuse or manipulation ('Your marriage came to an end because you stopped accepting his abuse')", "Support for setting and maintaining boundaries ('If they wanted you to stick around, they wouldn't have cut your pay')", "Recognition of systemic discrimination and bias ('People hire people they'd have a beer with. Aka, people like them')", "Emphasis on actions over words as indicators of true intentions", "Belief that individuals should manage their own family relationships ('it's your relationship to manage, your partner won't get it')", "Support for making difficult choices to protect one's wellbeing ('Sometimes the cheapest way to pay for something is with money')", "Recognition that temporary circumstances don't excuse harmful behavior", "Belief in calling out manipulation and gaslighting directly", "Support for gender equality and recognition of women's disproportionate burdens"], "communication": ["Uses casual, conversational tone with colloquialisms and direct language", "Employs short, punchy sentences for emphasis ('They can F off', 'His feelings are the most important in every room')", "Frequently reframes situations to provide clarity and cut through manipulation", "Uses metaphors and comparisons to illustrate points ('Sometimes the cheapest way to pay for something is with money')", "Shares personal anecdotes to support advice ('Went to a nerd college with a lot of these guys')", "Provides both practical advice and emotional validation in responses", "Uses italicized text and formatting for emphasis on key points", "Employs humor and sarcasm occasionally to make points", "Often begins with validation before providing direct advice or observations", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight contradictions or flawed logic", "Writes in a matter-of-fact style that cuts through emotional manipulation", "Balances empathy with directness when addressing difficult situations"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 10 words minimum to approximately 150 words maximum", "Most responses fall in the 30-80 word range, with occasional longer explanatory responses", "Frequently uses conditional 'if-then' sentence structures to illustrate consequences", "Common phrases include 'I would,' 'you should,' direct behavioral observations", "Varies between short declarative statements and longer explanatory paragraphs", "Often uses second-person 'you' to directly address the situation", "Employs parallel structure for emphasis ('Focus on school. Focus on therapy')", "Uses contractions frequently to maintain conversational tone", "Sentence structure alternates between simple and complex for readability"]}
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[{"content": "AITA For not giving my wife her daughter's address so she could see the newborn?\n\nHear me out please. I'm a 46 year-old father who lost a daughter (Molly) years ago to Brain Cancer. Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy. I married my wife when my stepdaughter (Sarah) was 15. Sarah had issues with her mom. Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return. She started working. I remained in contact. I just couldn't let her struggle I tried to help her financially but she refused. she's incredibly independent and a hard working person. She reminded me of Molly. \n\nI decided to help in other ways. I got her a better job opportunity by calling someone I knew at the time. This way she still had to work to earn money which is something she wanted. And also work a better job that appreciated her more than the previous job. She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer\nI sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then boyfriend now husband and paid for other things.\n\nMy wife didn't try to mend things. She disowned Sarah the day she got married but I stood firm and told her that I'm free to talk to Sarah and she should respect that.\nI attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad infront of other people. In the past it was just my name.\nThis sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be.\n\nShe's now 22 and just had a babygirl a few weeks ago. I visited several times and we talked. She told me that it was unfortunate that she lost her dad but was glad she has me in her life. I cried although I'm not good at expressing emotions and it got worse after Molly's death.\n\nMy wife knew about the baby and demanded I give her the address so she could go see her granddaughter. I refused because Sarah asked me not to tell. And because she's already dealing with postpartum and will not be able to deal with her mom's behavior. My wife threw a fit and said that this is her daughter and grandbaby and I shouldn't try to stop her from seeing her. She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address.", "role": "303367___", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"303367___\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9quu4hjv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1610243390.0, \"created_utc\": 1610243390.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ku4ppq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1926, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24346, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Hear me out please. I'm a 46 year-old father who lost a daughter (Molly) years ago to Brain Cancer. Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy. I married my wife when my stepdaughter (Sarah) was 15. Sarah had issues with her mom. Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return. She started working. I remained in contact. I just couldn't let her struggle I tried to help her financially but she refused. she's incredibly independent and a hard working person. She reminded me of Molly. \\n\\nI decided to help in other ways. I got her a better job opportunity by calling someone I knew at the time. This way she still had to work to earn money which is something she wanted. And also work a better job that appreciated her more than the previous job. She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer\\nI sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then boyfriend now husband and paid for other things.\\n\\nMy wife didn't try to mend things. She disowned Sarah the day she got married but I stood firm and told her that I'm free to talk to Sarah and she should respect that.\\nI attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad infront of other people. In the past it was just my name.\\nThis sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be.\\n\\nShe's now 22 and just had a babygirl a few weeks ago. I visited several times and we talked. She told me that it was unfortunate that she lost her dad but was glad she has me in her life. I cried although I'm not good at expressing emotions and it got worse after Molly's death.\\n\\nMy wife knew about the baby and demanded I give her the address so she could go see her granddaughter. I refused because Sarah asked me not to tell. And because she's already dealing with postpartum and will not be able to deal with her mom's behavior. My wife threw a fit and said that this is her daughter and grandbaby and I shouldn't try to stop her from seeing her. She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Hear me out please. I'm a 46 year-old father who lost a daughter (Molly) years ago to Brain Cancer. Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy. I married my wife when my stepdaughter (Sarah) was 15. Sarah had issues with her mom. Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return. She started working. I remained in contact. I just couldn't let her struggle I tried to help her financially but she refused. she's incredibly independent and a hard working person. She reminded me of Molly. </p>\\n\\n<p>I decided to help in other ways. I got her a better job opportunity by calling someone I knew at the time. This way she still had to work to earn money which is something she wanted. And also work a better job that appreciated her more than the previous job. She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer\\nI sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then boyfriend now husband and paid for other things.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife didn't try to mend things. She disowned Sarah the day she got married but I stood firm and told her that I'm free to talk to Sarah and she should respect that.\\nI attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad infront of other people. In the past it was just my name.\\nThis sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be.</p>\\n\\n<p>She's now 22 and just had a babygirl a few weeks ago. I visited several times and we talked. She told me that it was unfortunate that she lost her dad but was glad she has me in her life. I cried although I'm not good at expressing emotions and it got worse after Molly's death.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife knew about the baby and demanded I give her the address so she could go see her granddaughter. I refused because Sarah asked me not to tell. And because she's already dealing with postpartum and will not be able to deal with her mom's behavior. My wife threw a fit and said that this is her daughter and grandbaby and I shouldn't try to stop her from seeing her. She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA For not giving my wife her daughter's address so she could see the newborn?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24346, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "The only conceivable way you're an asshole is for not divorcing someone like this before now. And I want you to understand that that's where this is headed. You're going to have to choose whether you want your daughter in your life or her mother because you can't have both.", "role": "blorpoo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"blorpoo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2seuqz4c\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"The only conceivable way you're an asshole is for not divorcing someone like this before now. And I want you to understand that that's where this is headed. You're going to have to choose whether you want your daughter in your life or her mother because you can't have both.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>The only conceivable way you're an asshole is for not divorcing someone like this before now. And I want you to understand that that's where this is headed. You're going to have to choose whether you want your daughter in your life or her mother because you can't have both.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610244199.0, \"created_utc\": 1610244199.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gipxjtq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gipxjtq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/gipxjtq/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3497, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3497, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I'm leaving the house tomorrow. I couldn't stand all this pressure. Sarah told me she didn't want to be the reason her mom and I get separated but At this point I can't take it anymore.", "role": "303367___", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"303367___\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9quu4hjv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I'm leaving the house tomorrow. I couldn't stand all this pressure. Sarah told me she didn't want to be the reason her mom and I get separated but At this point I can't take it anymore.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm leaving the house tomorrow. I couldn't stand all this pressure. Sarah told me she didn't want to be the reason her mom and I get separated but At this point I can't take it anymore.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610244389.0, \"created_utc\": 1610244389.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gipxwvk\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gipxwvk\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gipxjtq\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/gipxwvk/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5374, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5374, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "d34db8b65d346fef", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "550ec707a09a3fd9", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Sarah isn't the reason. Your wife's treatment of Sarah is the reason. Your wife is the reason.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Sarah isn't the reason. Your wife's treatment of Sarah is the reason. Your wife is the reason.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1610248749.0, "created_utc": 1610248749.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "giq5w5v", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ku4ppq", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_giq5w5v", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gipxwvk", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/giq5w5v/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 51, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 51, "user_reports": []}
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Except there's a big difference here, which is that presumably her sister isn't using her real name on the Only fans and there's no way you can get the pictures without paying. Unless the recruiter is a subscriber I think she's going to be fine.
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jc39u7
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ed329bc2fe503445
| 1,602,858,137
| 2
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{"demographics": {"age group": "Approximately 21 years old (stated 19 in 2019, last post in 2021)", "gender": "Male (explicitly clarified in wedding post: 'I wanted to clarify that I am in fact a guy')", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Identifies as bisexual (stated: 'As a bisexual person, thank you')"}, "interests": ["Child welfare and juvenile justice (advocates giving stealing children 'a chance' before police involvement)", "LGBTQ+ rights and discrimination (writes passionately about homophobia and same-sex marriage)", "Family dynamics and parenting issues (engages with posts about parent-child relationships)", "Relationship accountability and forgiveness (discusses conditions for genuine apology)", "Social justice and standing up against harassment (supports intervention against workplace harassment)", "Mental health and therapy (validates seeking counseling and financial advice)", "Critiquing materialism and societal pressure (challenges Christmas spending expectations)", "Gender dynamics and power structures (analyzes 'white knighting' accusations)", "Career vs. family balance (validates non-career-driven life choices)", "Online safety and sex work (discusses OnlyFans privacy concerns)"], "values": ["Empathy for disadvantaged children ('these kids have obviously been given a shit starting point in life, give them a chance')", "Strong opposition to homophobia as harmful action ('expressing the view that some people are less deserving of respect because of their identity is in itself an action')", "Accountability requires understanding ('an essential component of forgiveness is him showing that he understands why he can't do this again')", "Challenging societal materialism ('you're not an asshole, you're a person with empathy and with valid feelings' regarding Christmas spending)", "Supporting intervention against harassment ('I can't help but feel like a lot of the times when someone accused someone else of white knighting, the point is to reinforce the culture of men allowing other men to pull some shit')", "Valuing non-career-driven life paths ('seeing your comment was really validating to me, someone who's felt really insecure about not equating my career with my future')", "Balancing justice with compassion ('Be the adult' while acknowledging humor in dad joke situation)", "Protecting privacy and autonomy ('there's a big difference here, which is that presumably her sister isn't using her real name')", "Distinguishing between beliefs and harmful actions (homophobia crosses 'the line from belief and into actual harm')", "Advocating for second chances before escalation ('Give them a chance to stop before getting the cops involved')"], "communication": ["Uses conversational markers and emphatic phrases ('For real', 'I just wanna disagree', 'cmon dude')", "Frequently quotes specific parts of previous messages to structure responses", "Employs direct address to engage readers ('Again, funny, and I don't necessarily blame you')", "Balances criticism with validation ('YTA. it was funny, but YTA')", "Provides detailed reasoning with clear logical progression", "Uses personal disclosure strategically ('As a bisexual person, thank you')", "Writes in clear paragraph breaks for readability", "Combines casual tone with substantive analysis", "Often begins with agreement or validation before presenting counterpoints", "Uses rhetorical questions to emphasize points ('do you want to raise a woman people can control?')", "Expresses gratitude and emotional responses ('So thank you', 'was really validating to me')"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 8 words minimum ('I mean OP states her age, 19') to approximately 200 words maximum", "Average response length approximately 60-80 words", "Frequently uses phrases: 'I think', 'for real', 'I just wanna', 'thank you'", "Common sentence starters: 'I mean', 'Re:', 'Except', 'For real'", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently to add nuance or examples", "Employs both short declarative sentences and longer complex sentences with multiple clauses", "Tends to structure longer responses with clear topic sentences followed by supporting evidence", "Uses quotation marks extensively to reference prior text", "Minimal use of all-caps or excessive punctuation for emphasis"]}
|
[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for kicking out my identical twin for selling nudes online?\n\nOriginal post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fd08eh/aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf\n\nHey yall, so a while back I made a post about how my twin sister started an onlyfans and I was considering kicking her out of our apartment (This is the TL;DR, read the original post for more information). In that post it was determined that I was the asshole. \n\nA LOT has happened since then, so I decided to make an update.\n\nAfter reading your comments, I decided that I probably took it to far and although I was embarassed and felt violated, at the end of the day, it is her body and not mine. Just because we look the same does not mean I get to have a say, nor should it affect our relationship.\n\nSo, I called her and told her I wanted to talk and we had a really long emotional discussion and I obviously decided to not kick her out as long as she was able to cover her rent going forward.\n\nThen, Covid happened. And as of June, I no longer have a job. I was one of the newest people at the company I was working for and so I was one of the first to go.\n\nAnd in a turn of events, my sister who has been killing it on onlyfans, is now covering for my portion of the rent until I am able to get back on my feet.\n\nSo, thank you for your advice. I might have ruined my relationship with my sister and maybe even be homeless without it.", "role": "AITANakedTwin", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"AITANakedTwin\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_55nfdmzu\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1602822564.0, \"created_utc\": 1602822564.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jc39u7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jc39u7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 594, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jc39u7/update_aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28795, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fd08eh/aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf\\n\\nHey yall, so a while back I made a post about how my twin sister started an onlyfans and I was considering kicking her out of our apartment (This is the TL;DR, read the original post for more information). In that post it was determined that I was the asshole. \\n\\nA LOT has happened since then, so I decided to make an update.\\n\\nAfter reading your comments, I decided that I probably took it to far and although I was embarassed and felt violated, at the end of the day, it is her body and not mine. Just because we look the same does not mean I get to have a say, nor should it affect our relationship.\\n\\nSo, I called her and told her I wanted to talk and we had a really long emotional discussion and I obviously decided to not kick her out as long as she was able to cover her rent going forward.\\n\\nThen, Covid happened. And as of June, I no longer have a job. I was one of the newest people at the company I was working for and so I was one of the first to go.\\n\\nAnd in a turn of events, my sister who has been killing it on onlyfans, is now covering for my portion of the rent until I am able to get back on my feet.\\n\\nSo, thank you for your advice. I might have ruined my relationship with my sister and maybe even be homeless without it.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Original post: <a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fd08eh/aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf\\\">https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fd08eh/aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf</a></p>\\n\\n<p>Hey yall, so a while back I made a post about how my twin sister started an onlyfans and I was considering kicking her out of our apartment (This is the TL;DR, read the original post for more information). In that post it was determined that I was the asshole. </p>\\n\\n<p>A LOT has happened since then, so I decided to make an update.</p>\\n\\n<p>After reading your comments, I decided that I probably took it to far and although I was embarassed and felt violated, at the end of the day, it is her body and not mine. Just because we look the same does not mean I get to have a say, nor should it affect our relationship.</p>\\n\\n<p>So, I called her and told her I wanted to talk and we had a really long emotional discussion and I obviously decided to not kick her out as long as she was able to cover her rent going forward.</p>\\n\\n<p>Then, Covid happened. And as of June, I no longer have a job. I was one of the newest people at the company I was working for and so I was one of the first to go.</p>\\n\\n<p>And in a turn of events, my sister who has been killing it on onlyfans, is now covering for my portion of the rent until I am able to get back on my feet.</p>\\n\\n<p>So, thank you for your advice. I might have ruined my relationship with my sister and maybe even be homeless without it.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jc39u7\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for kicking out my identical twin for selling nudes online?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28795, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jc39u7/update_aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "I read your original post and actually didn\u2019t think you were the asshole because I\u2019ve been mistaken for my sister who is 10 years older than me in a place we both worked at before. \n\nMy sister has borderline personality disorder and often causes a lot of issues at work. Before I was married we obviously had the same surname. I used to get pulled into HR meetings for things she had done which fucked with my career and reputation so I actually kind of get it. Her and I look kind of similar - I obviously look younger but the same surname caused issues. \n\nI\u2019m glad you sorted it out but I totally know how you were feeling with your twin starting an OnlyFans. Your siblings can really fuck with your career prospects.", "role": "soup_detective", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"soup_detective\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8c0950u5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I read your original post and actually didn\\u2019t think you were the asshole because I\\u2019ve been mistaken for my sister who is 10 years older than me in a place we both worked at before. \\n\\nMy sister has borderline personality disorder and often causes a lot of issues at work. Before I was married we obviously had the same surname. I used to get pulled into HR meetings for things she had done which fucked with my career and reputation so I actually kind of get it. Her and I look kind of similar - I obviously look younger but the same surname caused issues. \\n\\nI\\u2019m glad you sorted it out but I totally know how you were feeling with your twin starting an OnlyFans. Your siblings can really fuck with your career prospects.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I read your original post and actually didn\\u2019t think you were the asshole because I\\u2019ve been mistaken for my sister who is 10 years older than me in a place we both worked at before. </p>\\n\\n<p>My sister has borderline personality disorder and often causes a lot of issues at work. Before I was married we obviously had the same surname. I used to get pulled into HR meetings for things she had done which fucked with my career and reputation so I actually kind of get it. Her and I look kind of similar - I obviously look younger but the same surname caused issues. </p>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019m glad you sorted it out but I totally know how you were feeling with your twin starting an OnlyFans. Your siblings can really fuck with your career prospects.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1602836606.0, \"created_utc\": 1602836606.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g8zg2v8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_jc39u7\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g8zg2v8\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_jc39u7\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jc39u7/update_aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/g8zg2v8/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 46, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 46, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ed329bc2fe503445", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "a9b670fd84a29f75", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Except there's a big difference here, which is that presumably her sister isn't using her real name on the Only fans and there's no way you can get the pictures without paying. Unless the recruiter is a subscriber I think she's going to be fine.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Except there's a big difference here, which is that presumably her sister isn't using her real name on the Only fans and there's no way you can get the pictures without paying. Unless the recruiter is a subscriber I think she's going to be fine.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 1, "created": 1602858137.0, "created_utc": 1602858137.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g9064ri", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jc39u7", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g9064ri", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g8zg2v8", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jc39u7/update_aita_for_kicking_out_my_identical_twin_for/g9064ri/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 0, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 0, "user_reports": []}
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I said the same quote about this better be the hill op is willing to DIE on!
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ulcrp6
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46c62671a622bf2a
| 1,652,068,928
| 5
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{"demographics": {"age group": "30s-40s (based on having children aged 1.5, 7, 10-12 years old across 2020-2022)", "gender": "Female (explicitly identifies as 'mom' and 'mother' throughout responses)", "location": "Bay Area, California (explicitly states 'We live in the Bay Area')", "occupation": "Rental property owner/landlord (states 'As a rental owner' and 'I own rental property')", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Mother of three children; married; has ADHD (mentions 'I have had adhd for over 30 years'); has a brother who rents from her"}, "interests": ["Parenting and child development, particularly mother-child relationships ('NOBODY will love you like your mother!!!')", "Family dynamics and blended family issues (frequently comments on stepparent situations)", "Marriage and relationship advice (engages deeply with posts about marital conflicts)", "Child welfare and protection (strongly reacts to posts about child neglect: 'This is so messed up')", "Real estate and property ownership (discusses rental property management and Bay Area housing)", "Legal aspects of family law (discusses divorce, custody, prenups: 'divorce law they do NOT consider inheritance community property')", "Medical and health topics related to children (discusses yeast infections, diaper rash, miscarriage experiences)", "Introversion and ADHD (relates personally: 'people being in my space...drives me nuts and makes me anxious and angry')", "Financial boundaries in relationships (comments on inheritance, separate finances)", "Communication and honesty in families ('You showed her that you love her. C you valued her enough to apologize')"], "values": ["Maternal love as uniquely powerful and irreplaceable ('a good mothers love it's special!!')", "Protecting children from harm and neglect as paramount ('This better be the hill op is willing to DIE on!')", "Honesty and transparency in relationships, especially with children ('She deserves the truth')", "Respecting children's autonomy and personality ('All we can do is insist they be civil and respect others that's it')", "Parental accountability and responsibility ('You could try and set better examples for your girls')", "Forgiveness requires genuine change, not just apologies ('I listened to her promises to change for years...but nothing happened')", "Financial boundaries and protecting inheritance ('Don't commingle that money into joint accounts!')", "Respect for tenants' homes and privacy ('The others are the homes of my tenants...It's just a matter of respect')", "Actions speak louder than words in relationships ('Her staying communicated that his update was his only real option')", "Children should come first in parental decisions ('He was there first and needs to be your first priority in every way')", "Emotional manipulation is unacceptable ('if they would go along with such a lie they are probably trying to emotionally manipulate her')"], "communication": ["Highly emotional and empathetic tone with frequent exclamation marks ('So so so happy for you')", "Uses emojis to express emotion, particularly hearts and sad faces ('\ud83e\udd70\ud83e\udd70', '\ud83e\udd7a')", "Frequently shares personal anecdotes to relate to situations ('I had a miscarriage the medical staff kept referring to as a spontaneous abortion')", "Makes spelling and grammar errors, sometimes acknowledging them ('Edit for spelling', 'I'm so sorry for those')", "Uses conversational language and informal expressions ('lol', 'bc', 'Awe man')", "Employs rhetorical questions for emphasis ('Where is his house? Did his wife get that in the divorce?')", "Offers practical advice based on personal experience ('As a rental owner to me there's a difference between my house and a home')", "Uses strong, definitive language when discussing child welfare ('NTA!!!!!! I am so sorry that happened to you')", "Frequently validates others' feelings before offering perspective ('Yes this is true')", "Writes in stream-of-consciousness style with run-on sentences and multiple thoughts connected"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 80-100 words", "Minimum response length: around 10-15 words ('Yeast infections also if not changed and kept dry properly. This is so messed up.')", "Maximum response length: approximately 200+ words (in detailed parenting advice responses)", "Frequently uses exclamation marks (multiple per response, sometimes 3-4 in a row)", "Common phrases: 'NTA', 'This is so', 'I'm a mom', 'bc' (because), 'lol'", "Often begins responses with agreement or validation ('Yes this', 'That's awesome', 'This is the truth')", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently to add context or clarification", "Employs ellipses for trailing thoughts or emphasis ('but.... if mutual funds are used')", "Sentence structure varies from short, emphatic statements to longer, complex reflections", "Frequently references personal family members (husband, children, brother, mother) as examples"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for cancelling mother's day celebration that I arranged for my wife after hearing what she told my son?\n\nI (M/37) have a 13 y.o son. I was a widower when I met my now wife. She has a 16 y.o daughter from another relationship. The family is often on pretty good terms. My son is the quiet one in the house, he keeps to himself a lot but not to the point of being concerning. My wife and stepdaughter are the complete opposit. They both encourage him to be outgoing and share activities and join gatherings with extended family. My son complained about having to be forced out of his comfort zone and having his need for space invalidated. I spoke to both my wife and stepdaughter and asked them to give him space and freedom to spend his time however he wanted. they apologized and promised to let him be.\n\nAs mother's day was approaching I wanted to throw my wife a surprise mother's day celebration. It was no longer a surprise because my stepdaughter gave her the heads so she could prepare. Yesterday I got off work earlier than usual to get final arrangements done (we planned to celebrate at the restaurant and invited her family there) I had the key and while I was entering the house through the front door I overheard my wife and stepdaughter talking to my son. My wife was asking my son if he could convince me to let him stay home and not go with them to the restaurant to celebrate. I paused and decided to keep listening. My son said why and she told him that his introverted and socially inept \"attitude\" will make her family uncomfortable and will ruin the mood. He promised her that he'd be well behaved and would try to interact and socialize with everyone but she said that she wasn't buying it. He kept reassuring her but she snapped and told him that technically, she's not his mom so she didn't get why he wanted to celebrate mother's day with her so badly. My stepdaughter threw some (I don't remember) backhanded comment and then both of them were shocked to see me standing there. Both were staring without saying anything. I told my son and his stepsister to go to their rooms then told my wife that the celebration was off, cancelled. she tried to argue asking why repeatedly and I told her why. She tried to explain that she didn't mean it like that and that I only heard part of the conversation but not all of it. I told her I was done arguing and the decision was already made. She yelled asking what she was going to tell her family and said that I was making tremendous mistake towards her.\n\nI ignored her while she kept throwing tantrum after a tantrum. Early this morning she took my stepdaughter and went to stay with her folks. not a single call or text from her so far. Situation is full of tension. I'm upset still but more hurt to be honest. I mean yes I did say I was going to havw this celebration but I thought that what she said to my son was too harsh to ignore.", "role": "FredWalker37", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"FredWalker37\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mv53387g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1652048546.0, \"created_utc\": 1652048546.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1652051132.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ulcrp6\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4438, \"num_crossposts\": 7, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 41994, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"\\n\\nI (M/37) have a 13 y.o son. I was a widower when I met my now wife. She has a 16 y.o daughter from another relationship. The family is often on pretty good terms. My son is the quiet one in the house, he keeps to himself a lot but not to the point of being concerning. My wife and stepdaughter are the complete opposit. They both encourage him to be outgoing and share activities and join gatherings with extended family. My son complained about having to be forced out of his comfort zone and having his need for space invalidated. I spoke to both my wife and stepdaughter and asked them to give him space and freedom to spend his time however he wanted. they apologized and promised to let him be.\\n\\nAs mother's day was approaching I wanted to throw my wife a surprise mother's day celebration. It was no longer a surprise because my stepdaughter gave her the heads so she could prepare. Yesterday I got off work earlier than usual to get final arrangements done (we planned to celebrate at the restaurant and invited her family there) I had the key and while I was entering the house through the front door I overheard my wife and stepdaughter talking to my son. My wife was asking my son if he could convince me to let him stay home and not go with them to the restaurant to celebrate. I paused and decided to keep listening. My son said why and she told him that his introverted and socially inept \\\"attitude\\\" will make her family uncomfortable and will ruin the mood. He promised her that he'd be well behaved and would try to interact and socialize with everyone but she said that she wasn't buying it. He kept reassuring her but she snapped and told him that technically, she's not his mom so she didn't get why he wanted to celebrate mother's day with her so badly. My stepdaughter threw some (I don't remember) backhanded comment and then both of them were shocked to see me standing there. Both were staring without saying anything. I told my son and his stepsister to go to their rooms then told my wife that the celebration was off, cancelled. she tried to argue asking why repeatedly and I told her why. She tried to explain that she didn't mean it like that and that I only heard part of the conversation but not all of it. I told her I was done arguing and the decision was already made. She yelled asking what she was going to tell her family and said that I was making tremendous mistake towards her.\\n\\nI ignored her while she kept throwing tantrum after a tantrum. Early this morning she took my stepdaughter and went to stay with her folks. not a single call or text from her so far. Situation is full of tension. I'm upset still but more hurt to be honest. I mean yes I did say I was going to havw this celebration but I thought that what she said to my son was too harsh to ignore.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (M/37) have a 13 y.o son. I was a widower when I met my now wife. She has a 16 y.o daughter from another relationship. The family is often on pretty good terms. My son is the quiet one in the house, he keeps to himself a lot but not to the point of being concerning. My wife and stepdaughter are the complete opposit. They both encourage him to be outgoing and share activities and join gatherings with extended family. My son complained about having to be forced out of his comfort zone and having his need for space invalidated. I spoke to both my wife and stepdaughter and asked them to give him space and freedom to spend his time however he wanted. they apologized and promised to let him be.</p>\\n\\n<p>As mother's day was approaching I wanted to throw my wife a surprise mother's day celebration. It was no longer a surprise because my stepdaughter gave her the heads so she could prepare. Yesterday I got off work earlier than usual to get final arrangements done (we planned to celebrate at the restaurant and invited her family there) I had the key and while I was entering the house through the front door I overheard my wife and stepdaughter talking to my son. My wife was asking my son if he could convince me to let him stay home and not go with them to the restaurant to celebrate. I paused and decided to keep listening. My son said why and she told him that his introverted and socially inept "attitude" will make her family uncomfortable and will ruin the mood. He promised her that he'd be well behaved and would try to interact and socialize with everyone but she said that she wasn't buying it. He kept reassuring her but she snapped and told him that technically, she's not his mom so she didn't get why he wanted to celebrate mother's day with her so badly. My stepdaughter threw some (I don't remember) backhanded comment and then both of them were shocked to see me standing there. Both were staring without saying anything. I told my son and his stepsister to go to their rooms then told my wife that the celebration was off, cancelled. she tried to argue asking why repeatedly and I told her why. She tried to explain that she didn't mean it like that and that I only heard part of the conversation but not all of it. I told her I was done arguing and the decision was already made. She yelled asking what she was going to tell her family and said that I was making tremendous mistake towards her.</p>\\n\\n<p>I ignored her while she kept throwing tantrum after a tantrum. Early this morning she took my stepdaughter and went to stay with her folks. not a single call or text from her so far. Situation is full of tension. I'm upset still but more hurt to be honest. I mean yes I did say I was going to havw this celebration but I thought that what she said to my son was too harsh to ignore.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for cancelling mother's day celebration that I arranged for my wife after hearing what she told my son?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 41994, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Guarantee they have done this before. Circle the wagons, protect your son. Such disgusting abuse from your wife upon your son. To make it even worse, she is raising her daughter to be cruel and exclusionary. Your son deserves so much better.", "role": "No-Royal6008", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"No-Royal6008\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7lah3bq0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Guarantee they have done this before. Circle the wagons, protect your son. Such disgusting abuse from your wife upon your son. To make it even worse, she is raising her daughter to be cruel and exclusionary. Your son deserves so much better.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Guarantee they have done this before. Circle the wagons, protect your son. Such disgusting abuse from your wife upon your son. To make it even worse, she is raising her daughter to be cruel and exclusionary. Your son deserves so much better.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652049668.0, \"created_utc\": 1652049668.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7uoljp\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7uoljp\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/i7uoljp/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 54075, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 54075, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "from the looks of it. I'm afraid they have, especially my wife. I know her she can be harsh sometimes.", "role": "FredWalker37", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"FredWalker37\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mv53387g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"from the looks of it. I'm afraid they have, especially my wife. I know her she can be harsh sometimes.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>from the looks of it. I'm afraid they have, especially my wife. I know her she can be harsh sometimes.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652050417.0, \"created_utc\": 1652050417.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7uq4zq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7uq4zq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i7uoljp\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/i7uq4zq/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 21948, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 21948, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Please don\u2019t downplay what she did to rationalize staying with her and make your own life easier - you caught her abusing your son. \n\nShe has probably been doing this behind your back for some time. Do not kid yourself into thinking he would tell you if she had been doing this long term - you are all he has in the world, and his stepmother has already indicated that she would remove him from the family if she had her choice because he\u2019s not entertaining enough for her. He is probably terrified you secretly feel the same because you chose this woman to fill the mother role for him. \n\nProtect your son!!! He was there first and needs to be your first priority in every way.\n\nThat poor child. My hearts aches for him.", "role": "shrimpandshooflypie", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"shrimpandshooflypie\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_611l3h2l\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Please don\\u2019t downplay what she did to rationalize staying with her and make your own life easier - you caught her abusing your son. \\n\\nShe has probably been doing this behind your back for some time. Do not kid yourself into thinking he would tell you if she had been doing this long term - you are all he has in the world, and his stepmother has already indicated that she would remove him from the family if she had her choice because he\\u2019s not entertaining enough for her. He is probably terrified you secretly feel the same because you chose this woman to fill the mother role for him. \\n\\nProtect your son!!! He was there first and needs to be your first priority in every way.\\n\\nThat poor child. My hearts aches for him.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Please don\\u2019t downplay what she did to rationalize staying with her and make your own life easier - you caught her abusing your son. </p>\\n\\n<p>She has probably been doing this behind your back for some time. Do not kid yourself into thinking he would tell you if she had been doing this long term - you are all he has in the world, and his stepmother has already indicated that she would remove him from the family if she had her choice because he\\u2019s not entertaining enough for her. He is probably terrified you secretly feel the same because you chose this woman to fill the mother role for him. </p>\\n\\n<p>Protect your son!!! He was there first and needs to be your first priority in every way.</p>\\n\\n<p>That poor child. My hearts aches for him.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652052403.0, \"created_utc\": 1652052403.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7uu7hf\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7uu7hf\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i7uq4zq\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/i7uu7hf/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4249, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4249, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "My heart hurt for him when I read about him trying to convince her that he\u2019d be social so that he could go. This would be my hill to die on and I would leave her. \nShe will never see him as her child in any capacity and his bio mom has passed away so this is especially hurtful and cruel.", "role": "saurons-cataract", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"saurons-cataract\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_g45mp3qt\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"My heart hurt for him when I read about him trying to convince her that he\\u2019d be social so that he could go. This would be my hill to die on and I would leave her. \\nShe will never see him as her child in any capacity and his bio mom has passed away so this is especially hurtful and cruel.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My heart hurt for him when I read about him trying to convince her that he\\u2019d be social so that he could go. This would be my hill to die on and I would leave her.<br/>\\nShe will never see him as her child in any capacity and his bio mom has passed away so this is especially hurtful and cruel.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652057269.0, \"created_utc\": 1652057269.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7v3y2g\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ulcrp6\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7v3y2g\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i7uu7hf\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/i7v3y2g/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1347, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1347, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "46c62671a622bf2a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "373e7344968a91eb", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I said the same quote about this better be the hill op is willing to DIE on!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I said the same quote about this better be the hill op is willing to DIE on!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1652068928.0, "created_utc": 1652068928.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i7vq74l", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ulcrp6", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i7vq74l", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i7v3y2g", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ulcrp6/aita_for_cancelling_mothers_day_celebration_that/i7vq74l/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 23, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 23, "user_reports": []}
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A sister bond is unlike any other. If my sis chose her inlaws over me and my gf I would be inconsolable. Such a massive betrayal.
If I were OP I would say 'me and my gf or neither of us, your choice'. Then it's on her. If she chooses to pacify homophobes rather than love and stand by her sister then she can't say that she is a good person. Sisters accept each other 100%, those are the rules.
|
qyux9z
|
f81ccd339212a49c
| 1,637,526,464
| 5
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (in same-sex relationship, references 'me and my gf')", "location": "Likely UK (uses British terminology 'A&E' instead of 'ER', British spelling patterns)", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "In a same-sex relationship with a girlfriend, has a sister"}, "interests": ["Relationship dynamics and partner respect, particularly responding to posts about disrespectful behavior in marriages", "LGBTQ+ issues and discrimination, especially family acceptance ('If my sis chose her inlaws over me and my gf I would be inconsolable')", "Boundary violations in intimate relationships, consistently supporting those who enforce boundaries", "Public humiliation and embarrassment in relationships ('To me its purpose is humiliation')", "Family loyalty and sibling relationships ('A sister bond is unlike any other. Such a massive betrayal')", "Consent and autonomy in relationships, particularly around kink and sexual behavior", "Manipulation and gaslighting tactics in relationships", "Standing up for oneself and not tolerating disrespect ('You did well to not lose your cool')", "Wedding etiquette and relationship milestones", "Recognizing patterns of abuse and control in relationships", "Gender roles and expectations in relationships ('Tupperware? As a present? Are they living in 1956?!')", "Infidelity and dishonesty in relationships ('that is the worst lie I have ever heard')"], "values": ["Mutual respect is fundamental in relationships ('He knows that she hates it and still continues. That's not something loving couples do')", "Family loyalty, especially between siblings ('Sisters accept each other 100%, those are the rules')", "Consent must be explicit and ongoing ('kink should be practiced with a consenting partner - and OP has not consented')", "Public humiliation is a form of control and abuse ('I think there's something really sinister about publicly humiliating your wife')", "Partners should prioritize each other over others ('Doesn't he want to have a lovely romantic break, just the two of you?')", "Standing up for oneself is admirable and necessary ('I love you. Queen.' in response to someone setting boundaries)", "Dishonesty and manipulation are relationship dealbreakers ('She may or may not be cheating but that is the worst lie I have ever heard')", "People deserve to be treated with dignity ('She deserves better' appears multiple times)", "Boundaries should be respected the first time they're stated ('IDK how many times people think they can ask and get told no')", "Traditional gender roles and expectations should be questioned ('Are they living in 1956?!')", "Actions that cause discomfort to a partner are unacceptable ('He's clearly getting some kind of weird pleasure from this')", "Accountability is important ('There was no way to win here' - recognizing unfair situations)"], "communication": ["Uses short, punchy declarations for emphasis ('Iconic.', 'Queen.', 'Abysmal lying skills being shown here')", "Employs British spelling and terminology ('behaviour', 'A&E', 'mum' implied through context)", "Frequently uses empathetic direct address ('Darling', 'Honey', 'Ooooh')", "Incorporates sarcastic humor and rhetorical questions ('Are they living in 1956?!', 'Who ARE these people...?')", "Makes strong declarative statements about right and wrong ('He's an abusive baby-man', 'This is clearly nonsense')", "Uses exclamation marks liberally for emotional emphasis", "Employs contemporary internet language and slang ('baby-man', 'Iconic')", "Quotes directly from original posts to make points ('He knows that she hates it and still continues')", "Varies between brief reactions and longer analytical responses (from 2 words to 150+ words)", "Uses conditional statements to express empathy ('If I were OP I would say...', 'I would have been so angry')", "Employs vivid imagery and metaphors ('burned down your whole relationship')", "Validates feelings while condemning bad behavior ('I feel for OP. She deserves better')"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 2 words ('Iconic.') to approximately 150 words, with most responses between 20-60 words", "Frequently uses exclamation marks, appearing in nearly every response for emphasis", "Common phrases include 'I would have/be', 'If I were', 'This is', and direct address terms", "Uses rhetorical questions in approximately 40% of responses", "Employs British spelling consistently ('behaviour', 'realised' implied through context)", "Single-word responses used for dramatic effect ('Iconic.', 'Queen.')", "Tends to structure longer responses with multiple short sentences rather than complex paragraphs", "Uses quotation marks frequently to reference original post content", "Incorporates contemporary slang and internet language ('baby-man', 'saucing')", "Demonstrates pattern of validating OP while condemning antagonist in most responses"]}
|
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I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.\n\nI haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I so stay home, would I be the asshole?", "role": "Brilliant-Position19", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Brilliant-Position19\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gruw6hak\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1637501134.0, \"created_utc\": 1637501134.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"qyux9z\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2504, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23071, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a lesbian, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now.\\n\\nMy family, including my sister, is all fine with me being gay and supportive of my relationship. However, her fianc\\u00e9 comes from a very regressive and religious family, and while he himself is fine, his extended family is very traditional and anti-gay.\\n\\nMy sister gave me my invitation in person instead of mailing it, and explained that I wasn't getting a +1 because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family. All my other siblings have +1s and are welcome to bring their (hetero) partners.\\n\\nI understand where she's coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I'm not going to try and force her to give me a +1, but I'm seriously considering not going. I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.\\n\\nI haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I so stay home, would I be the asshole?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a lesbian, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now.</p>\\n\\n<p>My family, including my sister, is all fine with me being gay and supportive of my relationship. However, her fianc\\u00e9 comes from a very regressive and religious family, and while he himself is fine, his extended family is very traditional and anti-gay.</p>\\n\\n<p>My sister gave me my invitation in person instead of mailing it, and explained that I wasn't getting a +1 because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family. All my other siblings have +1s and are welcome to bring their (hetero) partners.</p>\\n\\n<p>I understand where she's coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I'm not going to try and force her to give me a +1, but I'm seriously considering not going. I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.</p>\\n\\n<p>I haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I so stay home, would I be the asshole?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"WIBTA if I refuse to go to my sister's wedding because I can't bring my girlfriend as my +1?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23071, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the AH for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that he sister be treated with such disrespect. Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays? \n\nI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re being treated this way.", "role": "photosbeersandteach", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"photosbeersandteach\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd700\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d0f51afc-f510-11e8-a5da-0e4d9a1c42d6\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Supreme Court Just-ass [130]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4rub3jwk\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the AH for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that he sister be treated with such disrespect. Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays? \\n\\nI\\u2019m sorry you\\u2019re being treated this way.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the AH for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that he sister be treated with such disrespect. Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays? </p>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019m sorry you\\u2019re being treated this way.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637501725.0, \"created_utc\": 1637501725.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlia9g6\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlia9g6\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlia9g6/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27297, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27297, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yeah, this is not a one time issue. This is how the stage gets set for how their family is going to interact with yours and whose valued will be prioritized. It's her wedding, and she can invite who she wants to, but choosing to do this is not a neutral stance; it is siding with his family to avoid drama. That's a slippery slope with no bottom.", "role": "JLapak", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JLapak\", \"author_cakeday\": true, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4lctt9kr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yeah, this is not a one time issue. This is how the stage gets set for how their family is going to interact with yours and whose valued will be prioritized. It's her wedding, and she can invite who she wants to, but choosing to do this is not a neutral stance; it is siding with his family to avoid drama. That's a slippery slope with no bottom.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yeah, this is not a one time issue. This is how the stage gets set for how their family is going to interact with yours and whose valued will be prioritized. It's her wedding, and she can invite who she wants to, but choosing to do this is not a neutral stance; it is siding with his family to avoid drama. That's a slippery slope with no bottom.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637505804.0, \"created_utc\": 1637505804.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlii0j1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlii0j1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hlia9g6\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlii0j1/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 15661, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 15661, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Also, I wonder hoe the rest of OP's family is going to react. Will they side with the bride and her soon to be homophobic in laws? Or with OP? I hope OP is honest with her parents and siblings on why she will not be at the wedding. Hopefully the married couple will then have to choose which side has a family attending: all of groom's homophobic family or all of bride's inclusive family.", "role": "everyonemustlovecats", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"everyonemustlovecats\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [18]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8wymflgm\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Also, I wonder hoe the rest of OP's family is going to react. Will they side with the bride and her soon to be homophobic in laws? Or with OP? I hope OP is honest with her parents and siblings on why she will not be at the wedding. Hopefully the married couple will then have to choose which side has a family attending: all of groom's homophobic family or all of bride's inclusive family.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Also, I wonder hoe the rest of OP's family is going to react. Will they side with the bride and her soon to be homophobic in laws? Or with OP? I hope OP is honest with her parents and siblings on why she will not be at the wedding. Hopefully the married couple will then have to choose which side has a family attending: all of groom's homophobic family or all of bride's inclusive family.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637508925.0, \"created_utc\": 1637508925.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hliozq2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hliozq2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hlii0j1\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hliozq2/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3525, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3525, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Seems like OP's sister has already made her choice on which family she prioritizes.", "role": "tunamelts2", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"tunamelts2\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8mpz7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Seems like OP's sister has already made her choice on which family she prioritizes.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Seems like OP's sister has already made her choice on which family she prioritizes.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637512360.0, \"created_utc\": 1637512360.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlixb9l\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlixb9l\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hliozq2\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlixb9l/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2216, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2216, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "f81ccd339212a49c", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "00342af65c21f79b", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "A sister bond is unlike any other. If my sis chose her inlaws over me and my gf I would be inconsolable. Such a massive betrayal. \n\nIf I were OP I would say 'me and my gf or neither of us, your choice'. Then it's on her. If she chooses to pacify homophobes rather than love and stand by her sister then she can't say that she is a good person. Sisters accept each other 100%, those are the rules.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>A sister bond is unlike any other. If my sis chose her inlaws over me and my gf I would be inconsolable. Such a massive betrayal. </p>\n\n<p>If I were OP I would say 'me and my gf or neither of us, your choice'. Then it's on her. If she chooses to pacify homophobes rather than love and stand by her sister then she can't say that she is a good person. Sisters accept each other 100%, those are the rules.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1637526464.0, "created_utc": 1637526464.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hljwkiu", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_qyux9z", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hljwkiu", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hlixb9l", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hljwkiu/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "7c5c348e2a8b5c39", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b3ca7b17e9b423d8", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Seriously, my sister chose me over our father, Id be so damn angry if she chose her partner\u2019s bigoted family over me. \n\nThankfully I don\u2019t expect to have to deal with that as she\u2019s also queer and doesn\u2019t take much shit", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Seriously, my sister chose me over our father, Id be so damn angry if she chose her partner\u2019s bigoted family over me. </p>\n\n<p>Thankfully I don\u2019t expect to have to deal with that as she\u2019s also queer and doesn\u2019t take much shit</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1637535731.0, "created_utc": 1637535731.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hlkiqsq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_qyux9z", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hlkiqsq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hljwkiu", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlkiqsq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 18, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 18, "user_reports": []}
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NTA. You did the right thing. Your first responsibility is to your son not to protect your sisters feelings. Keep doing what you're doing, you're a great dad.
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f93gj0
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5bcbe5697ea927a5
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[{"content": "AITA for telling my sister I don't trust her to watch my son?\n\nI'm a 19 year old man with a 3mo old son. His mother surrendered her rights and is no longer in the picture. I work 4am-12pm at a gas station and I raise my son, that's what I do these days. Only one of my friends still speaks to me and hangs out with me. I live at home with my parents and sister (21) and pay a small rent each month. I can't afford to move out with the baby. My parents help me when they can. My sister doesn't like my son, she once told me she thinks he's an annoyance and hinderance. If he cries she complains. If there's baby clothes in the laundry she complains. Basically the baby exists and that pisses her off. I'm not perfect but I'm trying my best to be a good dad. My sister has never offered to help with the baby beyond holding him briefly and she hasn't done that more than about four or five times since he was born.\n\nThe other day my friend called and offered me a really great opportunity for some side-work. He works construction and they needed an extra guy for some installation work. Four hours and I'd get $400.00. I jumped at it, any extra money can only help. I started trying to find a babysitter. My sister was hanging out in the living room while I walked around the house on the phone. I managed to find a sitter who said she didn't want to be paid and went to get the baby ready. My sister asked me why I didn't ask her when she was sitting right there. I told her I didn't think she'd want to since she'd never offered to help before. She told me it was different, this was for work and not just me wanting to sleep or whatever, and he was about to go down for his nap and he's pretty easy when first wakes up, she told me it wouldn't be a problem.\n\nI asked her why she didn't say something between phone calls and she said she didn't think she needed too because we're family and family asks each other for help. I reminded her of all the times she'd complained about the baby and me and called him names and told me she waited he'd never been born and asked her why she thought I'd ever trust her with my son. She started crying and told me that wasn't fair and I needed to remember that the whole house was dealing with a baby and she was just having a hard time adjusting but she'd never do anything to hurt him. I told her she should have spoken to me about her feelings instead of acting like a child, took my son and left. When I got home both my parents set in on me because my sister told them I'd accused her of bad intentions to the baby. AITA for being honest when my sister offered to babysit?\n\nETA: apparently God is on my side right now. The lady I mentioned in the post who babysat my son for me, she goes to church with my mom and when I dropped my son off I explained that I was having trouble finding a sitter or paying for daycare. She called the pastor and explained the situation and two days a week my son can attend the church nursery school from 7am-12pm for free!!, and the lady has offered to take my son one day a week during the same time-frame and has also found another lady who will take him for one day a week, same time-frame. The ladies both requested $50.00, which I'm happy to pay. That means there's only one day a week and three hours in the mornings that I need childcare and my mom has agreed to watch him for the three hours and drop him off! I still have to figure out Fridays but Monday-Thursday are covered. I can breathe again.", "role": "babysmomisgone", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"babysmomisgone\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5rw39gt7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1582599768.0, \"created_utc\": 1582599768.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1582603097.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"f93gj0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_f93gj0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1326, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f93gj0/aita_for_telling_my_sister_i_dont_trust_her_to/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 29222, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a 19 year old man with a 3mo old son. His mother surrendered her rights and is no longer in the picture. I work 4am-12pm at a gas station and I raise my son, that's what I do these days. Only one of my friends still speaks to me and hangs out with me. I live at home with my parents and sister (21) and pay a small rent each month. I can't afford to move out with the baby. My parents help me when they can. My sister doesn't like my son, she once told me she thinks he's an annoyance and hinderance. If he cries she complains. If there's baby clothes in the laundry she complains. Basically the baby exists and that pisses her off. I'm not perfect but I'm trying my best to be a good dad. My sister has never offered to help with the baby beyond holding him briefly and she hasn't done that more than about four or five times since he was born.\\n\\nThe other day my friend called and offered me a really great opportunity for some side-work. He works construction and they needed an extra guy for some installation work. Four hours and I'd get $400.00. I jumped at it, any extra money can only help. I started trying to find a babysitter. My sister was hanging out in the living room while I walked around the house on the phone. I managed to find a sitter who said she didn't want to be paid and went to get the baby ready. My sister asked me why I didn't ask her when she was sitting right there. I told her I didn't think she'd want to since she'd never offered to help before. She told me it was different, this was for work and not just me wanting to sleep or whatever, and he was about to go down for his nap and he's pretty easy when first wakes up, she told me it wouldn't be a problem.\\n\\nI asked her why she didn't say something between phone calls and she said she didn't think she needed too because we're family and family asks each other for help. I reminded her of all the times she'd complained about the baby and me and called him names and told me she waited he'd never been born and asked her why she thought I'd ever trust her with my son. She started crying and told me that wasn't fair and I needed to remember that the whole house was dealing with a baby and she was just having a hard time adjusting but she'd never do anything to hurt him. I told her she should have spoken to me about her feelings instead of acting like a child, took my son and left. When I got home both my parents set in on me because my sister told them I'd accused her of bad intentions to the baby. AITA for being honest when my sister offered to babysit?\\n\\nETA: apparently God is on my side right now. The lady I mentioned in the post who babysat my son for me, she goes to church with my mom and when I dropped my son off I explained that I was having trouble finding a sitter or paying for daycare. She called the pastor and explained the situation and two days a week my son can attend the church nursery school from 7am-12pm for free!!, and the lady has offered to take my son one day a week during the same time-frame and has also found another lady who will take him for one day a week, same time-frame. The ladies both requested $50.00, which I'm happy to pay. That means there's only one day a week and three hours in the mornings that I need childcare and my mom has agreed to watch him for the three hours and drop him off! I still have to figure out Fridays but Monday-Thursday are covered. I can breathe again.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a 19 year old man with a 3mo old son. His mother surrendered her rights and is no longer in the picture. I work 4am-12pm at a gas station and I raise my son, that's what I do these days. Only one of my friends still speaks to me and hangs out with me. I live at home with my parents and sister (21) and pay a small rent each month. I can't afford to move out with the baby. My parents help me when they can. My sister doesn't like my son, she once told me she thinks he's an annoyance and hinderance. If he cries she complains. If there's baby clothes in the laundry she complains. Basically the baby exists and that pisses her off. I'm not perfect but I'm trying my best to be a good dad. My sister has never offered to help with the baby beyond holding him briefly and she hasn't done that more than about four or five times since he was born.</p>\\n\\n<p>The other day my friend called and offered me a really great opportunity for some side-work. He works construction and they needed an extra guy for some installation work. Four hours and I'd get $400.00. I jumped at it, any extra money can only help. I started trying to find a babysitter. My sister was hanging out in the living room while I walked around the house on the phone. I managed to find a sitter who said she didn't want to be paid and went to get the baby ready. My sister asked me why I didn't ask her when she was sitting right there. I told her I didn't think she'd want to since she'd never offered to help before. She told me it was different, this was for work and not just me wanting to sleep or whatever, and he was about to go down for his nap and he's pretty easy when first wakes up, she told me it wouldn't be a problem.</p>\\n\\n<p>I asked her why she didn't say something between phone calls and she said she didn't think she needed too because we're family and family asks each other for help. I reminded her of all the times she'd complained about the baby and me and called him names and told me she waited he'd never been born and asked her why she thought I'd ever trust her with my son. She started crying and told me that wasn't fair and I needed to remember that the whole house was dealing with a baby and she was just having a hard time adjusting but she'd never do anything to hurt him. I told her she should have spoken to me about her feelings instead of acting like a child, took my son and left. When I got home both my parents set in on me because my sister told them I'd accused her of bad intentions to the baby. AITA for being honest when my sister offered to babysit?</p>\\n\\n<p>ETA: apparently God is on my side right now. The lady I mentioned in the post who babysat my son for me, she goes to church with my mom and when I dropped my son off I explained that I was having trouble finding a sitter or paying for daycare. She called the pastor and explained the situation and two days a week my son can attend the church nursery school from 7am-12pm for free!!, and the lady has offered to take my son one day a week during the same time-frame and has also found another lady who will take him for one day a week, same time-frame. The ladies both requested $50.00, which I'm happy to pay. That means there's only one day a week and three hours in the mornings that I need childcare and my mom has agreed to watch him for the three hours and drop him off! I still have to figure out Fridays but Monday-Thursday are covered. I can breathe again.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_f93gj0\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling my sister I don't trust her to watch my son?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 29222, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f93gj0/aita_for_telling_my_sister_i_dont_trust_her_to/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5bcbe5697ea927a5", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "79a1b9fdfdbb2e84", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. You did the right thing. Your first responsibility is to your son not to protect your sisters feelings. Keep doing what you're doing, you're a great dad.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. You did the right thing. Your first responsibility is to your son not to protect your sisters feelings. Keep doing what you're doing, you're a great dad.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1582624095.0, "created_utc": 1582624095.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fipvv4l", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_f93gj0", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fipvv4l", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_f93gj0", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f93gj0/aita_for_telling_my_sister_i_dont_trust_her_to/fipvv4l/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1, "user_reports": []}
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Oh, I thought he just didn’t have the key to get into the trailer.
|
uptyk1
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537b5a855da553c0
| 1,652,582,040
| 7
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (explicitly identifies as 'white woman' in responses about hair care)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "White woman with very curly hair (3c type) who uses Black hair care products and has struggled with finding appropriate hair services"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and relationship dynamics, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Gender equality and feminist issues, especially double standards in treatment of men vs women", "Recognition and validation of emotional abuse and manipulation in relationships", "Accountability and consequences for harmful behavior, particularly theft and boundary violations", "Curly hair care challenges and products, specifically mentions using products intended for Black hair with '3c' curl type", "Cultural appropriation debates and what constitutes genuine vs performative allyship", "Supporting Black-owned businesses and understanding economic impact of consumer choices", "Parent-child relationships and family dynamics, especially involving step-parents", "Boundary violations and consent issues in various contexts", "Calling out hypocrisy and logical inconsistencies in people's arguments"], "values": ["Strong belief in holding people accountable for their actions: 'If she didn't want to get into legal trouble, she shouldn't have been driving without a license'", "Rejection of double standards, especially gender-based: 'if I was to invite a guy friend and he was to ask to see our daughter in a bikini my wife would have called the police. She says its different. It's really not.'", "Recognition that emotional abuse is legitimate abuse: 'Emotional abuse is still abuse' and 'He DID hurt OP but the mom refused to see or acknowledge it'", "Support for consequences matching the severity of actions: 'If Kathy wants to play stupid inappropriate games, she's going to win stupid inappropriate prizes'", "Belief in the importance of boundaries and consent in all relationships", "Opposition to performative allyship and misguided 'woke' behavior: criticizes friends who 'accidentally find out a shop they like is black owned and then brag about it online without ever actually buying from it'", "Support for Black-owned businesses and understanding economic impact: 'More people buying a product makes it more likely that it will continue to be available for everyone who needs it!'", "Rejection of using 'culture' or 'tradition' to justify harmful practices: 'Celebrating cultural heritage does NOT mean accepting every harmful practice'", "Strong feminist values while rejecting toxic masculinity: calls out husband who 'upholds the fragile, toxic patriarchy that benefits him'", "Belief that people should face natural consequences rather than being protected from them: supports pressing charges and calling police when appropriate"], "communication": ["Frequently uses emphatic agreement openings: 'Yes! This!' 'Agreed. NTA' 'Spot on!' 'This is the comment right here!'", "Employs ALL CAPS for emphasis on key points: 'THEN MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T HAVE STOLEN A CAR!!' 'SOME *tiny, vastly insufficient* mechanisms'", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity: 'So she wanted OP to switch places with her so OP would get into trouble and she could...just continue driving without a license?'", "Directly quotes original posts to address specific points, often using block quotes with '>' formatting", "Employs sarcasm and humor strategically: 'perverted possum,' 'what's the word?...written permission?'", "Uses profanity for emphasis: 'What the fuck!' 'fuck everyone in your life who sucks enough'", "Varies response length dramatically from 2-3 words ('Spot on!') to 200+ word detailed analyses", "Frequently uses italics and emphasis markers (*asterisks*) to stress important words", "Employs ellipses for dramatic pauses and effect: 'Ma'am! What the fuck!'", "Uses conversational interjections: 'Lol,' 'OMG,' 'Oh man,' 'good god'", "Structures longer responses with clear logical progression, often building to a strong concluding statement"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 2 words minimum ('Spot on!') to approximately 250 words maximum", "Average response length approximately 60-80 words", "Most frequent phrases: 'Yes! This!' (appears 4+ times), 'NTA' (appears 5+ times), 'This right here' (appears 3+ times)", "Common emphatic expressions: 'good god,' 'OMG,' 'Lol,' 'Oh man,' 'Ma'am!'", "Frequently uses rhetorical questions (appears in majority of longer responses)", "Regular use of profanity for emphasis (appears in approximately 30% of responses)", "Consistent use of quotation marks to reference others' statements", "Heavy use of italics and capitalization for emphasis throughout responses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for leaving my best friend and his friends stranded in an unfamiliar city?\n\nSo for background, my best friend has gotten into going to these Spartan races. He and a small group of his friends have started going to local ones but recently heard about one in another state they wanted to go to and compete in, but they didn't have anywhere to stay. So they asked me if they could borrow my truck and trailer (I have a tow behind camper) for the weekend. I said no, I wasn't comfortable with them taking my truck and trailer but that I'd drive them and the camper to their event. We made the three hour trip and set everything up in the area where the race was taking place the next day. \n\nI have a habit of leaving my keys on a hook next to the door to my bedroom in my camper. Remember this. \nCome nightfall, I went to take a phone call outside and ended up wandering around the grounds for over an hour. When I got back to the camper, the door was locked, and I was told by my best friend's older friend through the window that there wasn't enough room for me in MY trailer. So I reached for my keys to unlock the door, but realized I had left them inside the camper on the hook in my room. So I called my best friend from outside and all I was told was \"sorry bro, nothing I can do\". So I ended up sleeping in my truck that night, which I had fortunately left unlocked by accident.\n\nTheir race began at 8 am, and at 7, they came meandering out of the trailer and woke me up. No apology, by the way. \n\nSo while they were in their race, I hooked my truck back up to the trailer, closed and locked everything, and waited until just after they finished and had started walking back to the trailer (think really wide open field). When I saw them coming, I started the truck and drove off the property. With them chasing behind. I made the three hour trip back home declining call after call. When I finally got home, I finally took my best friend's call. He started yelling at me saying \"why would you do this? We have no way home now\". I just said sorry, you shouldn't have made me sleep in my truck after I did you this solid. \n\nHe told me that there were better ways to handle this than by leaving them in an unfamiliar city with no way home. I think he ended up calling his dad to come and get them. \n\nIs he right? Was there a better way to handle this? I felt justified until he said that. I am kinda doubting my decision now. \nAm I the asshole?", "role": "cameronjames222", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"cameronjames222\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3h4vh30p\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1652573887.0, \"created_utc\": 1652573887.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"uptyk1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_uptyk1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2628, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uptyk1/aita_for_leaving_my_best_friend_and_his_friends/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24303, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"So for background, my best friend has gotten into going to these Spartan races. He and a small group of his friends have started going to local ones but recently heard about one in another state they wanted to go to and compete in, but they didn't have anywhere to stay. So they asked me if they could borrow my truck and trailer (I have a tow behind camper) for the weekend. I said no, I wasn't comfortable with them taking my truck and trailer but that I'd drive them and the camper to their event. We made the three hour trip and set everything up in the area where the race was taking place the next day. \\n\\nI have a habit of leaving my keys on a hook next to the door to my bedroom in my camper. Remember this. \\nCome nightfall, I went to take a phone call outside and ended up wandering around the grounds for over an hour. When I got back to the camper, the door was locked, and I was told by my best friend's older friend through the window that there wasn't enough room for me in MY trailer. So I reached for my keys to unlock the door, but realized I had left them inside the camper on the hook in my room. So I called my best friend from outside and all I was told was \\\"sorry bro, nothing I can do\\\". So I ended up sleeping in my truck that night, which I had fortunately left unlocked by accident.\\n\\nTheir race began at 8 am, and at 7, they came meandering out of the trailer and woke me up. No apology, by the way. \\n\\nSo while they were in their race, I hooked my truck back up to the trailer, closed and locked everything, and waited until just after they finished and had started walking back to the trailer (think really wide open field). When I saw them coming, I started the truck and drove off the property. With them chasing behind. I made the three hour trip back home declining call after call. When I finally got home, I finally took my best friend's call. He started yelling at me saying \\\"why would you do this? We have no way home now\\\". I just said sorry, you shouldn't have made me sleep in my truck after I did you this solid. \\n\\nHe told me that there were better ways to handle this than by leaving them in an unfamiliar city with no way home. I think he ended up calling his dad to come and get them. \\n\\nIs he right? Was there a better way to handle this? I felt justified until he said that. I am kinda doubting my decision now. \\nAm I the asshole?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>So for background, my best friend has gotten into going to these Spartan races. He and a small group of his friends have started going to local ones but recently heard about one in another state they wanted to go to and compete in, but they didn't have anywhere to stay. So they asked me if they could borrow my truck and trailer (I have a tow behind camper) for the weekend. I said no, I wasn't comfortable with them taking my truck and trailer but that I'd drive them and the camper to their event. We made the three hour trip and set everything up in the area where the race was taking place the next day. </p>\\n\\n<p>I have a habit of leaving my keys on a hook next to the door to my bedroom in my camper. Remember this. \\nCome nightfall, I went to take a phone call outside and ended up wandering around the grounds for over an hour. When I got back to the camper, the door was locked, and I was told by my best friend's older friend through the window that there wasn't enough room for me in MY trailer. So I reached for my keys to unlock the door, but realized I had left them inside the camper on the hook in my room. So I called my best friend from outside and all I was told was "sorry bro, nothing I can do". So I ended up sleeping in my truck that night, which I had fortunately left unlocked by accident.</p>\\n\\n<p>Their race began at 8 am, and at 7, they came meandering out of the trailer and woke me up. No apology, by the way. </p>\\n\\n<p>So while they were in their race, I hooked my truck back up to the trailer, closed and locked everything, and waited until just after they finished and had started walking back to the trailer (think really wide open field). When I saw them coming, I started the truck and drove off the property. With them chasing behind. I made the three hour trip back home declining call after call. When I finally got home, I finally took my best friend's call. He started yelling at me saying "why would you do this? We have no way home now". I just said sorry, you shouldn't have made me sleep in my truck after I did you this solid. </p>\\n\\n<p>He told me that there were better ways to handle this than by leaving them in an unfamiliar city with no way home. I think he ended up calling his dad to come and get them. </p>\\n\\n<p>Is he right? Was there a better way to handle this? I felt justified until he said that. I am kinda doubting my decision now. \\nAm I the asshole?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": false, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_uptyk1\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for leaving my best friend and his friends stranded in an unfamiliar city?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24303, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uptyk1/aita_for_leaving_my_best_friend_and_his_friends/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. They\u2019re spartan warriors, right? They should run home.", "role": "SadWeird8353", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SadWeird8353\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dglt0cft\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. They\\u2019re spartan warriors, right? They should run home.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. They\\u2019re spartan warriors, right? They should run home.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652574447.0, \"created_utc\": 1652574447.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i8n18k8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, 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null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "You should\u2019ve said \u201csorry bro, nothing I can do\u201d", "role": "ltisdale", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ltisdale\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3wx49x7o\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"You should\\u2019ve said \\u201csorry bro, nothing I can do\\u201d\", 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That was a dick move on their part. Especially after what he did for them. To do that and lock him out of his Own trailer. I would have done the same thing. NTA. They are terrible friends.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Right. That was a dick move on their part. Especially after what he did for them. To do that and lock him out of his Own trailer. I would have done the same thing. NTA. They are terrible friends.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Right. That was a dick move on their part. Especially after what he did for them. To do that and lock him out of his Own trailer. I would have done the same thing. NTA. They are terrible friends.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652580263.0, \"created_utc\": 1652580263.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i8ncj9e\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_uptyk1\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i8ncj9e\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i8n85fa\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uptyk1/aita_for_leaving_my_best_friend_and_his_friends/i8ncj9e/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 6254, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 6254, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I probably would have just driven home that night. If you act like that much of a dick to your ride/place to sleep, you miss your race.\n\nEdit: oh my god I get it! He didn\u2019t have his truck keys! I don\u2019t keep any other keys with my car key to reduce strain on the ignition, so *If it were me* I would have just driven home.", "role": "Kathrynlena", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Kathrynlena\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_29x89693\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I probably would have just driven home that night. If you act like that much of a dick to your ride/place to sleep, you miss your race.\\n\\nEdit: oh my god I get it! He didn\\u2019t have his truck keys! I don\\u2019t keep any other keys with my car key to reduce strain on the ignition, so *If it were me* I would have just driven home.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I probably would have just driven home that night. If you act like that much of a dick to your ride/place to sleep, you miss your race.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: oh my god I get it! He didn\\u2019t have his truck keys! I don\\u2019t keep any other keys with my car key to reduce strain on the ignition, so <em>If it were me</em> I would have just driven home.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652581002.0, \"created_utc\": 1652581002.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1652633129.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i8ndxvq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, 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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "537b5a855da553c0", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "038298f09b84790e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oh, I thought he just didn\u2019t have the key to get into the trailer.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oh, I thought he just didn\u2019t have the key to get into the trailer.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1652582040.0, "created_utc": 1652582040.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i8nfwbf", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_uptyk1", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i8nfwbf", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i8nf3sw", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uptyk1/aita_for_leaving_my_best_friend_and_his_friends/i8nfwbf/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "c79e6985b233d315", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7ef471d9a5b7d251", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "He did mention he could sleep in the truck b/c he \"left his truck unlocked, fortunately\"...\n\nWhich just made me realize, what if his truck had been locked? Would they have tossed him his keys or made him sleep in the open? Tho in that case I would've been nervous about alerting them to where the keys were.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>He did mention he could sleep in the truck b/c he "left his truck unlocked, fortunately"...</p>\n\n<p>Which just made me realize, what if his truck had been locked? Would they have tossed him his keys or made him sleep in the open? Tho in that case I would've been nervous about alerting them to where the keys were.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1652584000.0, "created_utc": 1652584000.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i8njhl8", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_uptyk1", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i8njhl8", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i8nfwbf", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uptyk1/aita_for_leaving_my_best_friend_and_his_friends/i8njhl8/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "maybe they unlocked the truck before they went inside the camper, since they had the keys and didn't want him inside with them.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>maybe they unlocked the truck before they went inside the camper, since they had the keys and didn't want him inside with them.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1652596528.0, "created_utc": 1652596528.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i8o2hhc", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_uptyk1", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i8o2hhc", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i8njhl8", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uptyk1/aita_for_leaving_my_best_friend_and_his_friends/i8o2hhc/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 14, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 14, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 51, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 51, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 12, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 12, "user_reports": []}
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Also all the people saying “oh well I’m poly/my friend is poly and has a kid, but we/they do it the RIGHT way and the kid is just totally fine with it and everything is great because it’s different from how OP’s parents did it”....totally ignoring that OPs parents ALSO felt 100% sure they’d done poly the “right” way until the discussion leading to this post. I mean...just because your friends boyfriend takes your friends kid to the doctor and all three show up at PTA meetings together still doesn’t guarantee the kid is always totally fine with it at the end of the day.
|
ihp8sc
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6dbdce22b5cb5c99
| 1,598,570,970
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA (likely 30s-40s based on references to 'years in a horrible marriage', being 'older and more experienced', having a child, and career experience, but no explicit age stated)", "gender": "Female (explicitly states 'as a woman who was cheated on', refers to self as 'the hard-working mom', and discusses being a single mother)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Works full-time, mentions 'my job was client relationship manager' and 'communicating complex concepts was literally my career', currently working 50 hours a week as a single parent", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Single parent with at least one child (mentions 'we do have a kid together'), divorced after years of marriage involving infidelity, has ADHD and takes Adderall ('I struggled with this my whole life until I started adderall'), has been in therapy"}, "interests": ["Relationship dynamics and divorce, particularly involving infidelity ('I spent years in a horrible marriage because I truly believed we could \"work through it\"')", "Parenting challenges and single parenthood ('I'm a single parent who works 50 hours a week')", "Recognizing toxic relationship patterns and manipulation ('there's a potential sneaky undercurrent of triangulation here')", "ADHD and time management issues ('I struggled with this my whole life until I started adderall. Now I'm early for everything')", "Polyamory and alternative family structures from a critical perspective (extensive commentary on poly parenting post)", "Workplace dynamics and professional communication", "Infidelity and affair dynamics ('When my ex's affair came out, I frequently found myself in bizarre scenarios')", "Co-parenting relationships and boundaries with ex-partners"], "values": ["Strongly advocates leaving bad relationships over prolonged attempts to fix them ('Now that I'm older and more experienced, I'm more likely to tell people to walk')", "Believes people should recognize when partners won't change ('Sometimes people just aren't going to treat you right, or the relationship just obviously isn't going to get better')", "Critical of those who minimize serious past wrongdoing ('you guys know he's a cheater, right? Not even the casual kind, the \"totally blew up my marriage and family in a super painful way\" kind')", "Values taking responsibility and not making excuses ('It took a long time to realize that the reason they're loud and inconsiderate and force you to tiptoe around them is...it works great for them')", "Skeptical of surface-level narratives and encourages deeper analysis ('I'm surprised, on a sub where people so frequently say it's hard to judge based on a single subjective perspective, that people seem eager to accept OPs story 100% at face value')", "Emphasizes the importance of mutual respect in relationships ('one person alone cannot fix the problems of two people')", "Believes in protecting children from adult relationship drama", "Supports single parents and criticizes those who abandon parental responsibilities ('screw the judgmental people whining \"oh you should have picked a better partner.\" When they direct their condescension at the hard-working mom doing the best she can and not the dad who cut and ran')"], "communication": ["Uses 'lol' frequently to soften critical statements ('Especially since they're apparently still not married, lol')", "Employs extensive parenthetical asides for additional context or commentary ('(which, as Im completely uninterested in reconciling, doesn't really bother me...but it's something I'm aware of when he does these \"good guy\" gestures)')", "Shares detailed personal anecdotes to support arguments ('For example, I spent years in a horrible marriage because I truly believed we could \"work through it\"')", "Uses humor and sarcasm effectively ('\"I hear you having sex through the wall and it sounds great! Could I pay you $5 for the occasional hand job if you're already planning on having sex that day?\"')", "Employs rhetorical questions to make points ('You say that he \"never gets enough sleep\" though. Is he frequently grumpy/huffy/requiring lots of accommodation')", "Balances criticism with acknowledgment of complexity ('It's 100% possible OP just means super well...but it's also possible that')", "Uses em-dashes and ellipses for conversational flow", "Frequently validates others' experiences before sharing own perspective ('I feel you. Being a parent in our society is hard')"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 15 words ('Especially since they're apparently still not married, lol.') to 300+ words in detailed personal narratives", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words", "Frequently uses 'lol' (appears in roughly 40% of responses)", "Common phrases include 'my ex', 'when I was younger', 'I mean', 'honestly', 'definitely'", "Uses quotation marks extensively for emphasis and to quote hypothetical dialogue", "Employs parenthetical statements in approximately 60% of longer responses", "Sentence structure varies from short declarative statements to complex compound sentences with multiple clauses", "Uses italics for emphasis occasionally (*in* love vs in *love*)", "Frequently begins responses with agreement or validation ('I feel you', 'I definitely agree', 'Yup')"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for yelling at my parents that their polyamory fucked up my childhood?\n\nEDIT: to all of you who DMed me to tell me about how fucking great polyamory is and that you're mad I gave it a bad name, you have issues if that's what you take away from this post\n\nI believe it started when I was around 6 years old. My parents often had 'friends' over in the house. I didn't know they were polyamorous ofc. One day I was outside playing, got hurt and when I ran inside caught my parents making out with some random guy. They told me they have other adults that they love and it's a completely normal thing. Me being a child just accepted that.\n\nThey gave up being secretive and their 'partners' would constantly be around, even joining on outings. I remember that on my 10th birthday they invited 3 of their partners, one of who I'd never seen before, and for the rest of the day my parents just withdrew from my party and hung out with them. I never saw them doing anything explicit again but they would kiss their partners, hug them make flirty comments, something that would be normal between parents but with many more people. Sometimes I came home from school and my parents were gone and there was some random adult in our house, some of them seemed surprised that my parents even had a child. \n\nI always hated it, but since my parents had told me this was normal, I assumed many adults probably did similar things and that it's just an adult thing all kids hate. Later they had less partners and eventually seemed to stop. Not that I'd know for sure bc I moved out with 17. I didn't think about it anymore. A year ago I started therapy (other reasons). As usual the topic of my upbringing came up and it brought back many feelings I wasn't aware of. I realised that although my parents were always good to me, I had never really felt close to any of them and still have a lot of resentment that they made me feel like I had to compete for my parent's attention with random strangers. \n\nA while ago, I visited them and they told me they are going to take part in a documentary about polyamorous families and that the producers would like to include interviews with the children, so they would love if I could agree and tell everyone that polyamory 'doesn't mess kids up'. All my resentment bubbled up and I said that I cannot agree because I would not be able to say anything positive. My parents looked shocked (I had never brought this up before) and asked why, and I unloaded all, that I always felt pushed aside, we barely had any family time without strangers intruding, it turned into an argument and I became loud and yelled that the truth is it did fuck me up and they shouldn't have had a child if their number one priority was fucking the whole world. My mother cried and my father said I should probably leave. So I left and was shaken up for the rest of the week but also felt regret because I've never made my mum cry before. Later my father sent me a message that was like 'we are sorry you feel that way, can we have a calm discussion about this soon'. Even though I tried to, it's like I can't reply, this argument brought something very emotional up in me.\n\nAITA for hurting my parents over this, especially since I have never brought it up before?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1598548972.0, \"created_utc\": 1598548972.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1598614128.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ihp8sc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2622, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 37161, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"EDIT: to all of you who DMed me to tell me about how fucking great polyamory is and that you're mad I gave it a bad name, you have issues if that's what you take away from this post\\n\\nI believe it started when I was around 6 years old. My parents often had 'friends' over in the house. I didn't know they were polyamorous ofc. One day I was outside playing, got hurt and when I ran inside caught my parents making out with some random guy. They told me they have other adults that they love and it's a completely normal thing. Me being a child just accepted that.\\n\\nThey gave up being secretive and their 'partners' would constantly be around, even joining on outings. I remember that on my 10th birthday they invited 3 of their partners, one of who I'd never seen before, and for the rest of the day my parents just withdrew from my party and hung out with them. I never saw them doing anything explicit again but they would kiss their partners, hug them make flirty comments, something that would be normal between parents but with many more people. Sometimes I came home from school and my parents were gone and there was some random adult in our house, some of them seemed surprised that my parents even had a child. \\n\\nI always hated it, but since my parents had told me this was normal, I assumed many adults probably did similar things and that it's just an adult thing all kids hate. Later they had less partners and eventually seemed to stop. Not that I'd know for sure bc I moved out with 17. I didn't think about it anymore. A year ago I started therapy (other reasons). As usual the topic of my upbringing came up and it brought back many feelings I wasn't aware of. I realised that although my parents were always good to me, I had never really felt close to any of them and still have a lot of resentment that they made me feel like I had to compete for my parent's attention with random strangers. \\n\\nA while ago, I visited them and they told me they are going to take part in a documentary about polyamorous families and that the producers would like to include interviews with the children, so they would love if I could agree and tell everyone that polyamory 'doesn't mess kids up'. All my resentment bubbled up and I said that I cannot agree because I would not be able to say anything positive. My parents looked shocked (I had never brought this up before) and asked why, and I unloaded all, that I always felt pushed aside, we barely had any family time without strangers intruding, it turned into an argument and I became loud and yelled that the truth is it did fuck me up and they shouldn't have had a child if their number one priority was fucking the whole world. My mother cried and my father said I should probably leave. So I left and was shaken up for the rest of the week but also felt regret because I've never made my mum cry before. Later my father sent me a message that was like 'we are sorry you feel that way, can we have a calm discussion about this soon'. Even though I tried to, it's like I can't reply, this argument brought something very emotional up in me.\\n\\nAITA for hurting my parents over this, especially since I have never brought it up before?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>EDIT: to all of you who DMed me to tell me about how fucking great polyamory is and that you're mad I gave it a bad name, you have issues if that's what you take away from this post</p>\\n\\n<p>I believe it started when I was around 6 years old. My parents often had 'friends' over in the house. I didn't know they were polyamorous ofc. One day I was outside playing, got hurt and when I ran inside caught my parents making out with some random guy. They told me they have other adults that they love and it's a completely normal thing. Me being a child just accepted that.</p>\\n\\n<p>They gave up being secretive and their 'partners' would constantly be around, even joining on outings. I remember that on my 10th birthday they invited 3 of their partners, one of who I'd never seen before, and for the rest of the day my parents just withdrew from my party and hung out with them. I never saw them doing anything explicit again but they would kiss their partners, hug them make flirty comments, something that would be normal between parents but with many more people. Sometimes I came home from school and my parents were gone and there was some random adult in our house, some of them seemed surprised that my parents even had a child. </p>\\n\\n<p>I always hated it, but since my parents had told me this was normal, I assumed many adults probably did similar things and that it's just an adult thing all kids hate. Later they had less partners and eventually seemed to stop. Not that I'd know for sure bc I moved out with 17. I didn't think about it anymore. A year ago I started therapy (other reasons). As usual the topic of my upbringing came up and it brought back many feelings I wasn't aware of. I realised that although my parents were always good to me, I had never really felt close to any of them and still have a lot of resentment that they made me feel like I had to compete for my parent's attention with random strangers. </p>\\n\\n<p>A while ago, I visited them and they told me they are going to take part in a documentary about polyamorous families and that the producers would like to include interviews with the children, so they would love if I could agree and tell everyone that polyamory 'doesn't mess kids up'. All my resentment bubbled up and I said that I cannot agree because I would not be able to say anything positive. My parents looked shocked (I had never brought this up before) and asked why, and I unloaded all, that I always felt pushed aside, we barely had any family time without strangers intruding, it turned into an argument and I became loud and yelled that the truth is it did fuck me up and they shouldn't have had a child if their number one priority was fucking the whole world. My mother cried and my father said I should probably leave. So I left and was shaken up for the rest of the week but also felt regret because I've never made my mum cry before. Later my father sent me a message that was like 'we are sorry you feel that way, can we have a calm discussion about this soon'. Even though I tried to, it's like I can't reply, this argument brought something very emotional up in me.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for hurting my parents over this, especially since I have never brought it up before?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for yelling at my parents that their polyamory fucked up my childhood?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 37161, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA it wasn't your parents polyamory that f*cked you up though it was there bad parenting. they allowed strange adults around you all the time and neglected you when those strangers were around, they put you in potentially dangerous situations by doing so. \n\nHaving a committed poly partner who is not a stranger and known to you prob would have been fine, but a string of randoms or new people that would seriously mess with any kid.", "role": "Fainora", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Fainora\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd700\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d0f51afc-f510-11e8-a5da-0e4d9a1c42d6\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Supreme Court Just-ass [122]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_cc4ylog\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA it wasn't your parents polyamory that f*cked you up though it was there bad parenting. they allowed strange adults around you all the time and neglected you when those strangers were around, they put you in potentially dangerous situations by doing so. \\n\\nHaving a committed poly partner who is not a stranger and known to you prob would have been fine, but a string of randoms or new people that would seriously mess with any kid.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA it wasn't your parents polyamory that f*cked you up though it was there bad parenting. they allowed strange adults around you all the time and neglected you when those strangers were around, they put you in potentially dangerous situations by doing so. </p>\\n\\n<p>Having a committed poly partner who is not a stranger and known to you prob would have been fine, but a string of randoms or new people that would seriously mess with any kid.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1598549223.0, \"created_utc\": 1598549223.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g31jlu9\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g31jlu9\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g31jlu9/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 16083, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 16083, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Sure but it\u2019s kind of a distinction without a difference for OP. Like sure, not all polyamory causes this. Same as saying not all men.", "role": "FerretAres", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"FerretAres\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6pmyz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Sure but it\\u2019s kind of a distinction without a difference for OP. Like sure, not all polyamory causes this. Same as saying not all men.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Sure but it\\u2019s kind of a distinction without a difference for OP. Like sure, not all polyamory causes this. Same as saying not all men.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1598554393.0, \"created_utc\": 1598554393.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g31voi0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g31voi0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g31jlu9\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g31voi0/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 76, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 76, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "exactly!! same as saying \u201call lives matter\u201d. like, yeah, obviously not all polyamory is bad but is that really the point here?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"exactly!! same as saying \\u201call lives matter\\u201d. like, yeah, obviously not all polyamory is bad but is that really the point here?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>exactly!! same as saying \\u201call lives matter\\u201d. like, yeah, obviously not all polyamory is bad but is that really the point here?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1598554858.0, \"created_utc\": 1598554858.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g31wpix\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g31wpix\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g31voi0\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g31wpix/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 49, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 49, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yeah I\u2019m getting really bugged at all these poly people in the comments trying to railroad OP\u2019s feelings, like accept that your life would be strange to kids and that some people DONT handle it well. I\u2019m not anti-poly but find it very uncomfortable all the comments focused on defending polyamory rather than accepting at face value OP\u2019s feelings.", "role": "thedabaratheon", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"thedabaratheon\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gxfu7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yeah I\\u2019m getting really bugged at all these poly people in the comments trying to railroad OP\\u2019s feelings, like accept that your life would be strange to kids and that some people DONT handle it well. I\\u2019m not anti-poly but find it very uncomfortable all the comments focused on defending polyamory rather than accepting at face value OP\\u2019s feelings.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yeah I\\u2019m getting really bugged at all these poly people in the comments trying to railroad OP\\u2019s feelings, like accept that your life would be strange to kids and that some people DONT handle it well. I\\u2019m not anti-poly but find it very uncomfortable all the comments focused on defending polyamory rather than accepting at face value OP\\u2019s feelings.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1598561477.0, \"created_utc\": 1598561477.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g32b5l1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ihp8sc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g32b5l1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g31wpix\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g32b5l1/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 22, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 22, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "6dbdce22b5cb5c99", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c753256d74afe251", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Also all the people saying \u201coh well I\u2019m poly/my friend is poly and has a kid, but we/they do it the RIGHT way and the kid is just totally fine with it and everything is great because it\u2019s different from how OP\u2019s parents did it\u201d....totally ignoring that OPs parents ALSO felt 100% sure they\u2019d done poly the \u201cright\u201d way until the discussion leading to this post. I mean...just because your friends boyfriend takes your friends kid to the doctor and all three show up at PTA meetings together still doesn\u2019t guarantee the kid is always totally fine with it at the end of the day.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Also all the people saying \u201coh well I\u2019m poly/my friend is poly and has a kid, but we/they do it the RIGHT way and the kid is just totally fine with it and everything is great because it\u2019s different from how OP\u2019s parents did it\u201d....totally ignoring that OPs parents ALSO felt 100% sure they\u2019d done poly the \u201cright\u201d way until the discussion leading to this post. I mean...just because your friends boyfriend takes your friends kid to the doctor and all three show up at PTA meetings together still doesn\u2019t guarantee the kid is always totally fine with it at the end of the day.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1598570970.0, "created_utc": 1598570970.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g32u03k", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ihp8sc", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g32u03k", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g32b5l1", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g32u03k/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "57b7f87a77883331", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c1b6746823595842", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Thank you for articulating what I was trying to get at !! The whole post at face value is how OP has had to tell their parents something they DID not know or realise. They wanted to go on a DOCUMENTARY because they saw themselves as a GOOD EXAMPLE of being poly parents so everyone else rushing to comment \u201cIM POLY WITH A KID OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS AND WE ARE GOOD\u201d is so tone deaf considering that\u2019s EXACTLY how OP\u2019s parents must have felt. I know it\u2019s not nice to have your worldview challenged but I wish people would be a little less tunnel vision and accept that yeah maybe kids wouldn\u2019t be okay with it. And OP is a good example why.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Thank you for articulating what I was trying to get at !! The whole post at face value is how OP has had to tell their parents something they DID not know or realise. They wanted to go on a DOCUMENTARY because they saw themselves as a GOOD EXAMPLE of being poly parents so everyone else rushing to comment \u201cIM POLY WITH A KID OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS AND WE ARE GOOD\u201d is so tone deaf considering that\u2019s EXACTLY how OP\u2019s parents must have felt. I know it\u2019s not nice to have your worldview challenged but I wish people would be a little less tunnel vision and accept that yeah maybe kids wouldn\u2019t be okay with it. And OP is a good example why.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1598606333.0, "created_utc": 1598606333.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g349a9z", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ihp8sc", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g349a9z", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g32u03k", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g349a9z/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "86118554a19b5a6b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "8fe54088e36fc421", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Those \"we do it right\" comments from poly parents are pretty tone deaf given the theme of this post. Like maybe step back and let the kids have a say.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Those "we do it right" comments from poly parents are pretty tone deaf given the theme of this post. Like maybe step back and let the kids have a say.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1598586158.0, "created_utc": 1598586158.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g33ldac", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ihp8sc", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g33ldac", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g32u03k", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihp8sc/aita_for_yelling_at_my_parents_that_their/g33ldac/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 11, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 11, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 16, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 16, "user_reports": []}
|
Lol, right?! What grown ass adult can’t just grab a spoon and HAS to dip their fingers into food?? OP is clearly NTA.
|
116lmfw
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65788b221e0458aa
| 1,676,839,179
| 2
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "University professor", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent with children"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and relationship conflicts", "Child welfare and protection issues", "Intimate partner abuse and domestic violence resources", "Academic and educational matters, particularly student welfare", "Parenting practices and child development", "Cultural anthropology and food culture ('anthropological or sociological literature on ethnocentrism')", "Family conflict resolution and healthy communication", "Social justice issues related to vulnerable populations"], "values": ["Strong advocacy for abuse victims, stating 'if a student told me this story I would absolutely give them a makeup exam and a whole lot of resources for intimate partner abuse'", "Child protection and appropriate parenting, questioning 'Who punishes a 3yo like that? Totally inappropriate'", "Professional responsibility to help students and vulnerable individuals", "Cultural sensitivity and awareness of ethnocentrism, noting 'it is rude...to believe that your way of preparing a food is the only way'", "Appreciation for healthy family conflict resolution, expressing joy at 'families eventually work through their conflict in a healthy way'", "Direct intervention when witnessing concerning behavior, offering 'help you get some therapy so you have a professional who can help you process your feelings'", "Recognition of abuse patterns and willingness to name them explicitly", "Balance between humor and serious concern for wellbeing"], "communication": ["Uses emphatic punctuation and capitalization for emphasis ('Right???' 'O so she is just a full on deadbeat?')", "Employs conversational markers like 'Lol' and 'Umm' to create informal tone", "Frequently uses rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity or concern", "Balances professional authority with accessible language", "Provides specific, actionable advice and resources", "Uses direct address ('honey') when offering serious advice", "Combines humor with genuine concern in appropriate contexts", "Employs academic language when discussing theoretical concepts ('ethnocentrism', 'anthropological or sociological literature')", "Shows emotional investment through phrases like 'I am a parent and it is hard to ignore what is happening to you'"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 50-60 words", "Minimum response length around 20 words ('NTA. Hilarious. This is such a low stakes family issues')", "Maximum response length approximately 100 words (the ethnocentrism response)", "Frequently uses question marks, often multiple in succession ('Right???', 'What grown ass adult can't just grab a spoon and HAS to dip their fingers into food??')", "Common phrases include 'Right?', 'NTA', variations of concern expressions", "Uses ellipses for trailing thoughts or emphasis", "Varies sentence structure from short emphatic statements to longer analytical passages", "Frequently begins responses with agreement markers or exclamations ('This!', 'Wow.', 'Lol, right?!')"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for yelling at my girlfriend to \u201cstop fucking eating?\u201d\n\nMy (M26) sister (F23) runs a bakery business and she\u2019s been struggling lately to keep up with orders because she\u2019s been short staffed. She does a lot of orders for wedding cakes that require custard or marmalade fillings, and I offered to help her out by making these fillings at home and bringing them to her so she has less work to do.\n\nUnfortunately, the past four times I\u2019ve made these fillings, my girlfriend (F24) has literally dipped her fingers into the filling jars and contaminated them because, in her words, she \u201cjust wanted to try some.\u201d I\u2019ve tried explaining to her that she can\u2019t dip her fingers in and contaminate the entire batch, because then I have to remake it. I said she should use a spoon and take some out if she wants to try so bad, but she just pouts and says that she likes using her fingers because it takes her back to her childhood.\n\nToday, I was trying to finish some chocolate custard to send it over to my sister really fast because she was running late on a wedding cake order for an important client. I told my girlfriend beforehand to not eat the custard, and if she really wanted to, to please use a spoon. \n\nI get out of the shower, and what do I see? She has her fingers in it again! I totally lost it because this is the fifth time she blatantly disregarded what I said, and I yelled at her and told her to \u201cstop fucking eating\u201d the food I\u2019m making, because it\u2019s not for her and she\u2019s contaminating it. \n\nShe started crying and got mad at me for \u201cfat-shaming\u201d her, even though I made no comment on her weight and she has no history of weight issues or eating disorders. I know I was harsh, but she kept pushing my limits. AITA?", "role": "throwawaycakegf", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwawaycakegf\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_vycfysgl\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1676834932.0, \"created_utc\": 1676834932.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"116lmfw\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_116lmfw\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 5197, \"num_crossposts\": 8, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/116lmfw/aita_for_yelling_at_my_girlfriend_to_stop_fucking/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 43047, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My (M26) sister (F23) runs a bakery business and she\\u2019s been struggling lately to keep up with orders because she\\u2019s been short staffed. She does a lot of orders for wedding cakes that require custard or marmalade fillings, and I offered to help her out by making these fillings at home and bringing them to her so she has less work to do.\\n\\nUnfortunately, the past four times I\\u2019ve made these fillings, my girlfriend (F24) has literally dipped her fingers into the filling jars and contaminated them because, in her words, she \\u201cjust wanted to try some.\\u201d I\\u2019ve tried explaining to her that she can\\u2019t dip her fingers in and contaminate the entire batch, because then I have to remake it. I said she should use a spoon and take some out if she wants to try so bad, but she just pouts and says that she likes using her fingers because it takes her back to her childhood.\\n\\nToday, I was trying to finish some chocolate custard to send it over to my sister really fast because she was running late on a wedding cake order for an important client. I told my girlfriend beforehand to not eat the custard, and if she really wanted to, to please use a spoon. \\n\\nI get out of the shower, and what do I see? She has her fingers in it again! I totally lost it because this is the fifth time she blatantly disregarded what I said, and I yelled at her and told her to \\u201cstop fucking eating\\u201d the food I\\u2019m making, because it\\u2019s not for her and she\\u2019s contaminating it. \\n\\nShe started crying and got mad at me for \\u201cfat-shaming\\u201d her, even though I made no comment on her weight and she has no history of weight issues or eating disorders. I know I was harsh, but she kept pushing my limits. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My (M26) sister (F23) runs a bakery business and she\\u2019s been struggling lately to keep up with orders because she\\u2019s been short staffed. She does a lot of orders for wedding cakes that require custard or marmalade fillings, and I offered to help her out by making these fillings at home and bringing them to her so she has less work to do.</p>\\n\\n<p>Unfortunately, the past four times I\\u2019ve made these fillings, my girlfriend (F24) has literally dipped her fingers into the filling jars and contaminated them because, in her words, she \\u201cjust wanted to try some.\\u201d I\\u2019ve tried explaining to her that she can\\u2019t dip her fingers in and contaminate the entire batch, because then I have to remake it. I said she should use a spoon and take some out if she wants to try so bad, but she just pouts and says that she likes using her fingers because it takes her back to her childhood.</p>\\n\\n<p>Today, I was trying to finish some chocolate custard to send it over to my sister really fast because she was running late on a wedding cake order for an important client. I told my girlfriend beforehand to not eat the custard, and if she really wanted to, to please use a spoon. </p>\\n\\n<p>I get out of the shower, and what do I see? She has her fingers in it again! I totally lost it because this is the fifth time she blatantly disregarded what I said, and I yelled at her and told her to \\u201cstop fucking eating\\u201d the food I\\u2019m making, because it\\u2019s not for her and she\\u2019s contaminating it. </p>\\n\\n<p>She started crying and got mad at me for \\u201cfat-shaming\\u201d her, even though I made no comment on her weight and she has no history of weight issues or eating disorders. I know I was harsh, but she kept pushing my limits. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_116lmfw\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for yelling at my girlfriend to \\u201cstop fucking eating?\\u201d\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 43047, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/116lmfw/aita_for_yelling_at_my_girlfriend_to_stop_fucking/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Does she also wear a diaper and draw on the walls with crayons because it reminds her of her childhood?\n\nNTA", "role": "Harmonia_PASB", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Harmonia_PASB\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [15]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9daqdmkf\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Does she also wear a diaper and draw on the walls with crayons because it reminds her of her childhood?\\n\\nNTA\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Does she also wear a diaper and draw on the walls with crayons because it reminds her of her childhood?</p>\\n\\n<p>NTA</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1676835605.0, \"created_utc\": 1676835605.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 6, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"j974rn8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_116lmfw\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_j974rn8\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_116lmfw\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/116lmfw/aita_for_yelling_at_my_girlfriend_to_stop_fucking/j974rn8/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 85684, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 85684, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "65788b221e0458aa", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [3]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b9427aed754af1d7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Lol, right?! What grown ass adult can\u2019t just grab a spoon and HAS to dip their fingers into food?? OP is clearly NTA.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Lol, right?! What grown ass adult can\u2019t just grab a spoon and HAS to dip their fingers into food?? OP is clearly NTA.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1676839179.0, "created_utc": 1676839179.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "j97dcy2", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_116lmfw", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_j97dcy2", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_j974rn8", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/116lmfw/aita_for_yelling_at_my_girlfriend_to_stop_fucking/j97dcy2/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 355, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 355, "user_reports": []}
|
NTA
Funny that she came up with another name entirely. The English form is Emil.
|
jlzj6u
|
16eeb65bfba1453f
| 1,604,223,976
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Criminal law and felony classifications, repeatedly identifying situations as 'felony vandalism because of the value of the property destroyed'", "Civil litigation procedures, suggesting 'take her sister to small claims court' and discussing legal remedies", "Property law and inheritance matters, correcting that 'You only pay that on $5MM+ estates' regarding inheritance tax", "Disability rights and protections, noting 'Taking someone's mobility device is illegal in a lot of places'", "Domestic violence law, discussing how property destruction 'could also be a form of domestic violence'", "Legal liability and risk management, warning that certain actions 'can open OP up to additional legal liability'", "Linguistic and cultural knowledge, noting that 'The English form is Emil' and discussing name variations like 'Emile or \u00c9mile'", "Family law and custody matters, engaging with posts about custody disputes and parental rights", "Financial thresholds in legal contexts, providing specific dollar amounts for legal classifications", "Interpersonal conflict resolution through legal channels rather than informal means"], "values": ["Strong belief in formal legal accountability, consistently recommending police involvement and court action", "Advocacy for protecting vulnerable individuals, particularly disabled persons and children in difficult situations", "Preference for legal remedies over informal resolution, stating 'OP needs to go to the police' in property damage cases", "Skepticism toward emotional appeals that compromise legal positions, calling advice 'an awful idea' when it risks liability", "Emphasis on financial consequences and restitution for wrongdoing", "Value placed on factual accuracy and precision, making corrections like 'OP is male though' when errors occur", "Belief that high-value property damage should be treated as serious crime ('This is a felony')", "Support for individuals standing up for their rights against family pressure or manipulation", "Pragmatic approach to conflict, focusing on actionable legal steps rather than emotional reconciliation", "Recognition that legal classification matters, distinguishing between civil and criminal remedies"], "communication": ["Extremely concise writing style, with most responses being 1-3 sentences and 15-20 words on average", "Direct, declarative statements without hedging language, such as 'This is a felony' or 'Yes. This is a felony'", "Frequent use of legal terminology including 'felony vandalism,' 'small claims court,' and 'legal liability'", "Pattern of leading with legal classifications or consequences in responses", "Matter-of-fact tone devoid of emotional language or empathy expressions", "Makes factual corrections when spotting errors, as in 'OP is male though' or clarifying name etymology", "Uses specific dollar amounts and legal thresholds to support arguments", "Minimal use of complex sentence structures, preferring simple subject-verb-object construction", "No use of emojis, exclamation points, or other emotional punctuation", "Provides actionable legal advice rather than moral judgments or emotional support"], "statistics": ["Average response length: 15-20 words per response", "Minimum response length: 5 words ('OP is male though')", "Maximum response length: approximately 35 words", "Most frequent phrases: 'felony vandalism,' 'small claims court,' 'legal liability,' 'OP needs to'", "Consistent use of legal terminology across all responses", "Sentence structure predominantly simple declarative sentences", "Frequent mention of specific dollar amounts ($5MM, $7000, $300K) when relevant", "No use of first-person pronouns or personal anecdotes", "Response pattern: typically one main point per comment without elaboration"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for calling my grandma by wrong name until she gets my name right?\n\nThis has going on since forever so decided to do something. I\u2019m (16m) half Mexican from my dad\u2019s side and my mom\u2019s side is Scottish. Ngl most of my mom\u2019s family is high key racist and is been problems sometimes growing up. My grandma on my mom\u2019s side never liked my dad and was happy after they divorced when I was 7.\n\nMy names Emiliano and my grandma always complained how hard she tried to change my parents minds and it\u2019s a shame I got stuck with it. I\u2019m actually proud of it. My dad told me about the revolutionary I was named after and their history.\n\nBut literally my entire life my grandma refuses to say it. She says it\u2019s \u201ctoo many syllables\u201d (i got a cousin named Alexandria and they say the whole name) and always came up with her own names. She says Leo or once tried to get everyone to call me \u201cElliot\u201d as a nickname for a while. Obvious my moms family was for it but my dad refused that cause it\u2019s not my name. \n\nIs always the same thing when I see them. She\u2019ll call me Leo or whatever. Even when I correct her she says it\u2019s not a big deal an keeps calling wrong name. I told my mom I don\u2019t like it but she always say I\u2019m just not gonna change her mind and no point in fighting it.\n\nSo I decided if she not gonna wanna call me by my actual name in not gonna call her grandma or say her right name. Is stupid I know but it\u2019s bothering me more that she don\u2019t care and all my other cousins she says their names fine, no nicknames. \n\nHer name is Susan so I decided to call her Sandy. \n\nTbh I was scared to say it but that look on her face was worth it lmao. It wasn\u2019t surprise Pikachu face but it was close. She said that is not how I address her and it\u2019s \u201cgrandma\u201d. I told her nah I\u2019mma call her sandy from now until she says my actual name.\n\nIt got awkward. My mom was serious and my gma got super red in the face. She started ranting about me being a fucking disrespectful child and this is all my dad influencing me again. My mom told me I need to apologize immediately but idk what gave me the balls to not do it. We ended up leaving there house early and my mom didn\u2019t talk to me until we got home. \n\nShe say what I did was outta line and I don\u2019t disrespect my elders ever. She wants me to apologize and I\u2019m grounded until I do. Haven\u2019t talked to my dad yet about this since it just happened but I wanted to ask if it was being an asshole or was it okay for this situation to \u201cinsult my grandmother\u201d ?", "role": "notmyname2020_", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"notmyname2020_\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8pjix9uv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1604222420.0, \"created_utc\": 1604222420.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jlzj6u\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jlzj6u\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2912, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jlzj6u/aita_for_calling_my_grandma_by_wrong_name_until/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 30545, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"This has going on since forever so decided to do something. I\\u2019m (16m) half Mexican from my dad\\u2019s side and my mom\\u2019s side is Scottish. Ngl most of my mom\\u2019s family is high key racist and is been problems sometimes growing up. My grandma on my mom\\u2019s side never liked my dad and was happy after they divorced when I was 7.\\n\\nMy names Emiliano and my grandma always complained how hard she tried to change my parents minds and it\\u2019s a shame I got stuck with it. I\\u2019m actually proud of it. My dad told me about the revolutionary I was named after and their history.\\n\\nBut literally my entire life my grandma refuses to say it. She says it\\u2019s \\u201ctoo many syllables\\u201d (i got a cousin named Alexandria and they say the whole name) and always came up with her own names. She says Leo or once tried to get everyone to call me \\u201cElliot\\u201d as a nickname for a while. Obvious my moms family was for it but my dad refused that cause it\\u2019s not my name. \\n\\nIs always the same thing when I see them. She\\u2019ll call me Leo or whatever. Even when I correct her she says it\\u2019s not a big deal an keeps calling wrong name. I told my mom I don\\u2019t like it but she always say I\\u2019m just not gonna change her mind and no point in fighting it.\\n\\nSo I decided if she not gonna wanna call me by my actual name in not gonna call her grandma or say her right name. Is stupid I know but it\\u2019s bothering me more that she don\\u2019t care and all my other cousins she says their names fine, no nicknames. \\n\\nHer name is Susan so I decided to call her Sandy. \\n\\nTbh I was scared to say it but that look on her face was worth it lmao. It wasn\\u2019t surprise Pikachu face but it was close. She said that is not how I address her and it\\u2019s \\u201cgrandma\\u201d. I told her nah I\\u2019mma call her sandy from now until she says my actual name.\\n\\nIt got awkward. My mom was serious and my gma got super red in the face. She started ranting about me being a fucking disrespectful child and this is all my dad influencing me again. My mom told me I need to apologize immediately but idk what gave me the balls to not do it. We ended up leaving there house early and my mom didn\\u2019t talk to me until we got home. \\n\\nShe say what I did was outta line and I don\\u2019t disrespect my elders ever. She wants me to apologize and I\\u2019m grounded until I do. Haven\\u2019t talked to my dad yet about this since it just happened but I wanted to ask if it was being an asshole or was it okay for this situation to \\u201cinsult my grandmother\\u201d ?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This has going on since forever so decided to do something. I\\u2019m (16m) half Mexican from my dad\\u2019s side and my mom\\u2019s side is Scottish. Ngl most of my mom\\u2019s family is high key racist and is been problems sometimes growing up. My grandma on my mom\\u2019s side never liked my dad and was happy after they divorced when I was 7.</p>\\n\\n<p>My names Emiliano and my grandma always complained how hard she tried to change my parents minds and it\\u2019s a shame I got stuck with it. I\\u2019m actually proud of it. My dad told me about the revolutionary I was named after and their history.</p>\\n\\n<p>But literally my entire life my grandma refuses to say it. She says it\\u2019s \\u201ctoo many syllables\\u201d (i got a cousin named Alexandria and they say the whole name) and always came up with her own names. She says Leo or once tried to get everyone to call me \\u201cElliot\\u201d as a nickname for a while. Obvious my moms family was for it but my dad refused that cause it\\u2019s not my name. </p>\\n\\n<p>Is always the same thing when I see them. She\\u2019ll call me Leo or whatever. Even when I correct her she says it\\u2019s not a big deal an keeps calling wrong name. I told my mom I don\\u2019t like it but she always say I\\u2019m just not gonna change her mind and no point in fighting it.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I decided if she not gonna wanna call me by my actual name in not gonna call her grandma or say her right name. Is stupid I know but it\\u2019s bothering me more that she don\\u2019t care and all my other cousins she says their names fine, no nicknames. </p>\\n\\n<p>Her name is Susan so I decided to call her Sandy. </p>\\n\\n<p>Tbh I was scared to say it but that look on her face was worth it lmao. It wasn\\u2019t surprise Pikachu face but it was close. She said that is not how I address her and it\\u2019s \\u201cgrandma\\u201d. I told her nah I\\u2019mma call her sandy from now until she says my actual name.</p>\\n\\n<p>It got awkward. My mom was serious and my gma got super red in the face. She started ranting about me being a fucking disrespectful child and this is all my dad influencing me again. My mom told me I need to apologize immediately but idk what gave me the balls to not do it. We ended up leaving there house early and my mom didn\\u2019t talk to me until we got home. </p>\\n\\n<p>She say what I did was outta line and I don\\u2019t disrespect my elders ever. She wants me to apologize and I\\u2019m grounded until I do. Haven\\u2019t talked to my dad yet about this since it just happened but I wanted to ask if it was being an asshole or was it okay for this situation to \\u201cinsult my grandmother\\u201d ?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jlzj6u\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for calling my grandma by wrong name until she gets my name right?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 30545, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jlzj6u/aita_for_calling_my_grandma_by_wrong_name_until/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "16eeb65bfba1453f", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#735a17", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Aficionado [11]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0da29f843be552c9", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA\n\nFunny that she came up with another name entirely. The English form is Emil.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA</p>\n\n<p>Funny that she came up with another name entirely. The English form is Emil.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1604223976.0, "created_utc": 1604223976.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gas1el5", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jlzj6u", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gas1el5", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_jlzj6u", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jlzj6u/aita_for_calling_my_grandma_by_wrong_name_until/gas1el5/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "209e6cf58426c0d9", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "bd170761d1b193db", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Are you sure about Emil tho, it's quite common name in slavic countries too and It doesn't seem English to me, like Charles or something", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Are you sure about Emil tho, it's quite common name in slavic countries too and It doesn't seem English to me, like Charles or something</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1604225860.0, "created_utc": 1604225860.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gas3ko5", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jlzj6u", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gas3ko5", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gas1el5", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jlzj6u/aita_for_calling_my_grandma_by_wrong_name_until/gas3ko5/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "16eeb65bfba1453f", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#735a17", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Aficionado [11]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0da29f843be552c9", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It's also spelled Emile or \u00c9mile (this is obviously a French form because the acute accent is not used in English), but it's not a common name in the Anglosphere.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It's also spelled Emile or \u00c9mile (this is obviously a French form because the acute accent is not used in English), but it's not a common name in the Anglosphere.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1604227429.0, "created_utc": 1604227429.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gas5f34", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jlzj6u", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gas5f34", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gas3ko5", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jlzj6u/aita_for_calling_my_grandma_by_wrong_name_until/gas5f34/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 23, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 23, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "768697710abfb37e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "f8923109db9f35eb", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It and variations are also common names in Europe overall. Heck, my brother's name includes it, named after an ancestor couple of generations back. Think it was my grandma's father? Idk, I can't seem to find helpful records right on the spot.\n\nhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emil_(given_name)", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It and variations are also common names in Europe overall. Heck, my brother's name includes it, named after an ancestor couple of generations back. Think it was my grandma's father? Idk, I can't seem to find helpful records right on the spot.</p>\n\n<p><a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emil_(given_name)\">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emil_(given_name)</a></p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1604237140.0, "created_utc": 1604237140.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gasgr2s", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jlzj6u", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gasgr2s", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gas3ko5", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jlzj6u/aita_for_calling_my_grandma_by_wrong_name_until/gasgr2s/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 14, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 14, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 78, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 78, "user_reports": []}
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If dad had wanted it to go to uncle, he would have left it for uncle. I believe having land/property/a house is way more valuable than having the money, especially if sentiment is involved. OP just needs help getting them out, which is expected due to her youth. I hope she keeps the house.
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kb6uo4
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184b8d1bfe666f82
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{"demographics": {"age group": "50s-60s (parent of adult daughters, potential grandmother, references to 20-year marriage ending ~2017, currently in 4-year relationship as of 2021)", "gender": "Female (references to ex-husband, daughters, being a DIL in hypothetical scenarios)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Education professional, pursuing master's degree (stated 'I work in education' and 'now that I'm getting my masters' in Nov 2020)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Divorced after nearly 20 years of marriage, currently in committed relationship (4 years as of April 2021), has two daughters, never met either grandfather, grandmother was influential"}, "interests": ["Parenting philosophy and children's autonomy (discusses telling daughters 'whether they have children or not is completely up to them')", "Reproductive rights and bodily autonomy (strongly defends abortion access: 'That is exactly what abortions are for')", "Educational pedagogy and teaching methods (critiques assignments that lack clear objectives, discusses 'making the aim clear')", "Family boundary-setting and toxic family dynamics (supports cutting contact with manipulative relatives)", "Service animal rights and disability awareness (comments on trained dogs being 'entranced by it because it is so novel')", "Relationship dynamics and recognizing manipulation (identifies patterns like 'he'd almost prefer a real gold-digger')", "Property rights and inheritance issues (believes 'having land/property/a house is way more valuable than having the money')", "Mental health and therapy advocacy (suggests sister 'needs serious mental help')"], "values": ["Strong pro-choice stance with emphasis on personal autonomy ('I would hold her fucking hand' - supporting abortion rights)", "Respects children's life choices without imposing expectations ('not to have them on my account as I have no \"need\" to have grandchildren')", "Opposes entitlement and manipulation in relationships (criticizes those who 'think they have a god given right to become a grandparent')", "Values clear communication and transparency in education ('letting the kids know what the \"meat\" of an assignment is')", "Recognizes and calls out toxic relationship patterns (identifies when 'it wasn't me, it was HIM, that was the problem')", "Supports firm boundary-setting with family members (validates refusing contact after CPS false report)", "Believes in property rights and respecting inheritance wishes ('If dad had wanted it to go to uncle, he would have left it for uncle')", "Advocates for realistic expectations in relationships (critiques the Socratic method 'has its place, but ONLY if the basic concepts... have been properly learned')"], "communication": ["Uses personal anecdotes to illustrate broader points ('As my grandmother used to say, \"No one looks under a bed unless he has once hidden there himself\"')", "Employs conversational markers and hedging language ('I mean,' 'I think,' 'I have a feeling')", "Frequently uses parenthetical asides for clarification or additional context ('(I know we're talking about MIL, but whatever)')", "Structures longer responses with clear logical progression and paragraph breaks", "Uses quotation marks liberally for emphasis, direct quotes, and ironic distance", "Often begins responses with validation or agreement before elaborating ('So true!', 'I agree with both you and the comment above')", "Employs em-dashes and ellipses for emphasis and dramatic pauses ('Yeah, that was the part that just blew my mind\u2014')", "Direct and assertive when expressing strong opinions, doesn't shy from confrontational language when warranted", "Maintains proper grammar and punctuation throughout, even in casual responses", "Uses rhetorical questions to emphasize points ('wtf was she so concerned about?')"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 10-20 words (brief agreements) to 200+ words (detailed explanations)", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words", "Frequently uses phrases: 'I mean,' 'I think,' 'I feel like,' 'I have a feeling,' 'I agree'", "Common punctuation patterns: em-dashes for emphasis, parenthetical asides, quotation marks for quotes and irony", "Often structures responses as: validation/agreement + personal experience + broader principle", "Uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment in AITA posts", "Employs ellipses frequently for trailing thoughts or emphasis", "Tends to quote specific phrases from original posts to reference and respond to them directly"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for selling my family home because my pregnant sil ate my dinner\n\nI know shitty title but I\u2019m in a rush to get to work so excuse my grammar \n\nAlso I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers \n\n\nI (19f) lost my father last year to cancer he left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad it\u2019s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn\u2019t have a relationship but he did leave him 10k, my mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn\u2019t do anything about it\n\nFor the past year me and her live ok together. she went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in may my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me)\n\nThey\u2019re messy entitled and rude \nI told them in July I want them out by September because they don\u2019t pay for anything nor wash a dish \nIn August they announced they were pregnant and my sil smugly said \u201cguess we won\u2019t be moving out now\u201d \nIt didnt go down well but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face \n\nWell the past few months have been hell they\u2019ve become worse than before and my mom enables it than demands me to treat my sil like a princess because she\u2019s pregnant\nI once had to wait outside McDonald\u2019s till they opened to get her a McMuffin \n\nWell here were I maybe the asshole \nBecause my sil is pregnant she eats everything she sees like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday she ate all six didn\u2019t even get to try them.\n I can\u2019t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone she\u2019ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly than laugh and say \u201cI couldn\u2019t help my self blame the baby\u201d if I put stuff in my room my mom will open the door with the spare key sil can go through my mini fridge \n\nWell a week ago I was running late to collage I didn\u2019t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate when I got home I was starving I made myself dinner while it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom \n\nI must of been in there 10 minutes at most by the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my shit of course she started crying my mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry making excuses like how she couldn\u2019t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her \n\nWell I had enough I told them get out just like before I got mocked but here\u2019s the thing back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house I called him up crying a few days ago explaining the situation he said he\u2019d buy the house but he will evict my mom and brother. \nThey ofc didn\u2019t take it two well and I have had to stay with a friend I\u2019ve been receiving texts and I\u2019m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I\u2019m starting to think I\u2019m the bad person now \n\nSo AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?\n\n\nEdit wow I expected a few comments but wow \n\nSo I\u2019m on a break I\u2019ll address some things \n\n- some of your roasts are hilarious I honestly deserve it for how bad my grammar is but I was walking to work and declining calls from my mom while making this post I almost said fuck it and didn\u2019t post\n\n\n- if I sell the house to my uncle I will lose 100k but he\u2019s always been good to me and it\u2019s one of those situations were I\u2019d sleep better knowing it\u2019s gone to someone in my dads family \n\n\n- my mom told me because of my age I wouldn\u2019t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them \n\n-if I evict them and continue to live in the house along with the high financial costs I don\u2019t think they\u2019d ever let me live in peace \n\n\n- my mom has health issues and my sil will have to move in with her parents they won\u2019t allow my brother so id be splitting up a young family in my moms words\n\n- guys I\u2019m actually crying I\u2019ve never been told before \u201cI\u2019m proud of you\u201d and the fact I\u2019ve seen a thread of comments telling that means the absolute world to me\n\n\nEdit two i plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I\u2019ve news also \n\nsince people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million its in the heart of London", "role": "Routine_Junket1040", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Routine_Junket1040\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9a0yuvix\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1607706815.0, \"created_utc\": 1607706815.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1607733849.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"kb6uo4\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_kb6uo4\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 987, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25834, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I know shitty title but I\\u2019m in a rush to get to work so excuse my grammar \\n\\nAlso I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers \\n\\n\\nI (19f) lost my father last year to cancer he left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad it\\u2019s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn\\u2019t have a relationship but he did leave him 10k, my mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn\\u2019t do anything about it\\n\\nFor the past year me and her live ok together. she went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in may my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me)\\n\\nThey\\u2019re messy entitled and rude \\nI told them in July I want them out by September because they don\\u2019t pay for anything nor wash a dish \\nIn August they announced they were pregnant and my sil smugly said \\u201cguess we won\\u2019t be moving out now\\u201d \\nIt didnt go down well but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face \\n\\nWell the past few months have been hell they\\u2019ve become worse than before and my mom enables it than demands me to treat my sil like a princess because she\\u2019s pregnant\\nI once had to wait outside McDonald\\u2019s till they opened to get her a McMuffin \\n\\nWell here were I maybe the asshole \\nBecause my sil is pregnant she eats everything she sees like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday she ate all six didn\\u2019t even get to try them.\\n I can\\u2019t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone she\\u2019ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly than laugh and say \\u201cI couldn\\u2019t help my self blame the baby\\u201d if I put stuff in my room my mom will open the door with the spare key sil can go through my mini fridge \\n\\nWell a week ago I was running late to collage I didn\\u2019t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate when I got home I was starving I made myself dinner while it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom \\n\\nI must of been in there 10 minutes at most by the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my shit of course she started crying my mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry making excuses like how she couldn\\u2019t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her \\n\\nWell I had enough I told them get out just like before I got mocked but here\\u2019s the thing back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house I called him up crying a few days ago explaining the situation he said he\\u2019d buy the house but he will evict my mom and brother. \\nThey ofc didn\\u2019t take it two well and I have had to stay with a friend I\\u2019ve been receiving texts and I\\u2019m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I\\u2019m starting to think I\\u2019m the bad person now \\n\\nSo AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?\\n\\n\\nEdit wow I expected a few comments but wow \\n\\nSo I\\u2019m on a break I\\u2019ll address some things \\n\\n- some of your roasts are hilarious I honestly deserve it for how bad my grammar is but I was walking to work and declining calls from my mom while making this post I almost said fuck it and didn\\u2019t post\\n\\n\\n- if I sell the house to my uncle I will lose 100k but he\\u2019s always been good to me and it\\u2019s one of those situations were I\\u2019d sleep better knowing it\\u2019s gone to someone in my dads family \\n\\n\\n- my mom told me because of my age I wouldn\\u2019t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them \\n\\n-if I evict them and continue to live in the house along with the high financial costs I don\\u2019t think they\\u2019d ever let me live in peace \\n\\n\\n- my mom has health issues and my sil will have to move in with her parents they won\\u2019t allow my brother so id be splitting up a young family in my moms words\\n\\n- guys I\\u2019m actually crying I\\u2019ve never been told before \\u201cI\\u2019m proud of you\\u201d and the fact I\\u2019ve seen a thread of comments telling that means the absolute world to me\\n\\n\\nEdit two i plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I\\u2019ve news also \\n\\nsince people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million its in the heart of London\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I know shitty title but I\\u2019m in a rush to get to work so excuse my grammar </p>\\n\\n<p>Also I want to point out me and my brother have two different fathers </p>\\n\\n<p>I (19f) lost my father last year to cancer he left me 90% of his stuff including his family home that was left to him by his dad it\\u2019s been in their family for over a hundred years. My brother (34) and my dad didn\\u2019t have a relationship but he did leave him 10k, my mom was pissed at the will reading but since she got 10k she couldn\\u2019t do anything about it</p>\\n\\n<p>For the past year me and her live ok together. she went on acting like it was her house like before which I had no problem with till in may my brother and his girlfriend (30) moved in (without even asking me)</p>\\n\\n<p>They\\u2019re messy entitled and rude \\nI told them in July I want them out by September because they don\\u2019t pay for anything nor wash a dish \\nIn August they announced they were pregnant and my sil smugly said \\u201cguess we won\\u2019t be moving out now\\u201d \\nIt didnt go down well but when I told them I wanted them out my mom and brother basically laughed in my face </p>\\n\\n<p>Well the past few months have been hell they\\u2019ve become worse than before and my mom enables it than demands me to treat my sil like a princess because she\\u2019s pregnant\\nI once had to wait outside McDonald\\u2019s till they opened to get her a McMuffin </p>\\n\\n<p>Well here were I maybe the asshole \\nBecause my sil is pregnant she eats everything she sees like the cupcakes my friend made me for my birthday she ate all six didn\\u2019t even get to try them.\\n I can\\u2019t even make my lunch the night before because when I go to get it, it will be gone she\\u2019ll have a smug look on her face while rubbing her belly than laugh and say \\u201cI couldn\\u2019t help my self blame the baby\\u201d if I put stuff in my room my mom will open the door with the spare key sil can go through my mini fridge </p>\\n\\n<p>Well a week ago I was running late to collage I didn\\u2019t have time for my breakfast or to make lunch and I had to go to work straight after so all I had that day was a bar of chocolate when I got home I was starving I made myself dinner while it was cooling down I went to use the bathroom </p>\\n\\n<p>I must of been in there 10 minutes at most by the time I came out she had 70% of my dinner ate and I literally lost my shit of course she started crying my mom and brother started screaming at me for making her cry making excuses like how she couldn\\u2019t help it and it was my fault for leaving food around her </p>\\n\\n<p>Well I had enough I told them get out just like before I got mocked but here\\u2019s the thing back in October my uncle offered me a life changing amount of money for the house I called him up crying a few days ago explaining the situation he said he\\u2019d buy the house but he will evict my mom and brother. \\nThey ofc didn\\u2019t take it two well and I have had to stay with a friend I\\u2019ve been receiving texts and I\\u2019m being tagged in multiple posts on social media. I\\u2019m starting to think I\\u2019m the bad person now </p>\\n\\n<p>So AITA for making my mom and brother homeless?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit wow I expected a few comments but wow </p>\\n\\n<p>So I\\u2019m on a break I\\u2019ll address some things </p>\\n\\n<ul>\\n<li><p>some of your roasts are hilarious I honestly deserve it for how bad my grammar is but I was walking to work and declining calls from my mom while making this post I almost said fuck it and didn\\u2019t post</p></li>\\n<li><p>if I sell the house to my uncle I will lose 100k but he\\u2019s always been good to me and it\\u2019s one of those situations were I\\u2019d sleep better knowing it\\u2019s gone to someone in my dads family </p></li>\\n<li><p>my mom told me because of my age I wouldn\\u2019t be taken seriously if I tried to evict them </p></li>\\n</ul>\\n\\n<p>-if I evict them and continue to live in the house along with the high financial costs I don\\u2019t think they\\u2019d ever let me live in peace </p>\\n\\n<ul>\\n<li><p>my mom has health issues and my sil will have to move in with her parents they won\\u2019t allow my brother so id be splitting up a young family in my moms words</p></li>\\n<li><p>guys I\\u2019m actually crying I\\u2019ve never been told before \\u201cI\\u2019m proud of you\\u201d and the fact I\\u2019ve seen a thread of comments telling that means the absolute world to me</p></li>\\n</ul>\\n\\n<p>Edit two i plan to meet a lawyer and will update you all as soon as I\\u2019ve news also </p>\\n\\n<p>since people are curious the house is worth 2.5 million its in the heart of London</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_kb6uo4\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for selling my family home because my pregnant sil ate my dinner\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25834, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA\n\n\nThey stomped all over you man, they didn't treat you like family so why should you treat them that way?\n\n\nYou're fine mate, your uncle is the one evicting them not you.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA\\n\\n\\nThey stomped all over you man, they didn't treat you like family so why should you treat them that way?\\n\\n\\nYou're fine mate, your uncle is the one evicting them not you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA</p>\\n\\n<p>They stomped all over you man, they didn't treat you like family so why should you treat them that way?</p>\\n\\n<p>You're fine mate, your uncle is the one evicting them not you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, 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null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 21875, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I would caution against making a decision as huge as selling a home when emotions are high. It sounds like a solid offer from your uncle, but speak with a realtor to ensure you are getting a fair offer. I would also highly recommend you get a plan in place for rolling the money into a stable investment that will last, whether it\u2019s a home or long term investments. Also consider if you really want to permanently part with your father\u2019s home. You could always evict your brother and rent it out until a time that makes sense to live back in.\n\nEdit- OP states uncle is offering $100k less than estimated worth. This is a hit too large to take in my opinion just to get rid of SIL. If you can\u2019t stand up to them in your own home, are you going to be able to stand up to them when they beg and plead and lay on the emotional manipulation for the cash you get out of the house? \n\nStep 1: you need to lay out some boundaries that will be enforced immediately. SIL doesn\u2019t touch your things or your food. Mom stays out of your room and does not get a key. If anyone breaks these rules, you move toward immediate eviction proceedings. \n\nStep 2: speak with a lawyer and become better educated in eviction law. Be prepared to serve 30 day notice to your brother and SIL, and mom if necessary. \n\nStep 3: brother needs a plan to move out. If he knows you are serious about resorting to eviction, he will figure something out. You are not his only option, you\u2019re just the cheapest one. \n\nStep 4: get a therapist. You need to talk to someone impartial. It sounds like your family has beaten you down for many years. You need to have someone in your court who can help you build yourself back up. This will be impossible to do living in close quarters with ungrateful people who treat you with no respect. \n\nStep 5: figure out what you want to do with your house. There is a lot of space between selling and living with your miserable family. You could rent it out for awhile and live alone in a smaller place. This would actually be my recommendation. You could get away from your family, maintain your home equity, and rent someplace smaller and more peaceful for yourself. No matter what you do, don\u2019t let your mom or brother manipulate you out of your home or earnings from your home. Your father left this to you to build your future. Don\u2019t let them ruin it for you!", "role": "arkieg", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"arkieg\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [8]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3r2fc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I would caution against making a decision as huge as selling a home when emotions are high. It sounds like a solid offer from your uncle, but speak with a realtor to ensure you are getting a fair offer. I would also highly recommend you get a plan in place for rolling the money into a stable investment that will last, whether it\\u2019s a home or long term investments. Also consider if you really want to permanently part with your father\\u2019s home. You could always evict your brother and rent it out until a time that makes sense to live back in.\\n\\nEdit- OP states uncle is offering $100k less than estimated worth. This is a hit too large to take in my opinion just to get rid of SIL. If you can\\u2019t stand up to them in your own home, are you going to be able to stand up to them when they beg and plead and lay on the emotional manipulation for the cash you get out of the house? \\n\\nStep 1: you need to lay out some boundaries that will be enforced immediately. SIL doesn\\u2019t touch your things or your food. Mom stays out of your room and does not get a key. If anyone breaks these rules, you move toward immediate eviction proceedings. \\n\\nStep 2: speak with a lawyer and become better educated in eviction law. Be prepared to serve 30 day notice to your brother and SIL, and mom if necessary. \\n\\nStep 3: brother needs a plan to move out. If he knows you are serious about resorting to eviction, he will figure something out. You are not his only option, you\\u2019re just the cheapest one. \\n\\nStep 4: get a therapist. You need to talk to someone impartial. It sounds like your family has beaten you down for many years. You need to have someone in your court who can help you build yourself back up. This will be impossible to do living in close quarters with ungrateful people who treat you with no respect. \\n\\nStep 5: figure out what you want to do with your house. There is a lot of space between selling and living with your miserable family. You could rent it out for awhile and live alone in a smaller place. This would actually be my recommendation. You could get away from your family, maintain your home equity, and rent someplace smaller and more peaceful for yourself. No matter what you do, don\\u2019t let your mom or brother manipulate you out of your home or earnings from your home. Your father left this to you to build your future. Don\\u2019t let them ruin it for you!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I would caution against making a decision as huge as selling a home when emotions are high. It sounds like a solid offer from your uncle, but speak with a realtor to ensure you are getting a fair offer. I would also highly recommend you get a plan in place for rolling the money into a stable investment that will last, whether it\\u2019s a home or long term investments. Also consider if you really want to permanently part with your father\\u2019s home. You could always evict your brother and rent it out until a time that makes sense to live back in.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit- OP states uncle is offering $100k less than estimated worth. This is a hit too large to take in my opinion just to get rid of SIL. If you can\\u2019t stand up to them in your own home, are you going to be able to stand up to them when they beg and plead and lay on the emotional manipulation for the cash you get out of the house? </p>\\n\\n<p>Step 1: you need to lay out some boundaries that will be enforced immediately. SIL doesn\\u2019t touch your things or your food. Mom stays out of your room and does not get a key. If anyone breaks these rules, you move toward immediate eviction proceedings. </p>\\n\\n<p>Step 2: speak with a lawyer and become better educated in eviction law. Be prepared to serve 30 day notice to your brother and SIL, and mom if necessary. </p>\\n\\n<p>Step 3: brother needs a plan to move out. If he knows you are serious about resorting to eviction, he will figure something out. You are not his only option, you\\u2019re just the cheapest one. </p>\\n\\n<p>Step 4: get a therapist. You need to talk to someone impartial. It sounds like your family has beaten you down for many years. You need to have someone in your court who can help you build yourself back up. This will be impossible to do living in close quarters with ungrateful people who treat you with no respect. </p>\\n\\n<p>Step 5: figure out what you want to do with your house. There is a lot of space between selling and living with your miserable family. You could rent it out for awhile and live alone in a smaller place. This would actually be my recommendation. You could get away from your family, maintain your home equity, and rent someplace smaller and more peaceful for yourself. No matter what you do, don\\u2019t let your mom or brother manipulate you out of your home or earnings from your home. Your father left this to you to build your future. Don\\u2019t let them ruin it for you!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1607711204.0, \"created_utc\": 1607711204.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1607724248.0, \"gilded\": 4, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gff560m\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kb6uo4\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gff560m\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gfervnm\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/gff560m/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 19466, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 19466, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I have to agree with this. The way the post is written, it sounds like OP is selling the house just to get herself away from her family not because she actually wants to part with her dad's house. If that's the case, she needs to find a way to get some breathing room and figure out what she really wants to do. Maybe it's to sell to her uncle, but maybe it's not.", "role": "forged_from_fire", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"forged_from_fire\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [15]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6c866ydw\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I have to agree with this. The way the post is written, it sounds like OP is selling the house just to get herself away from her family not because she actually wants to part with her dad's house. If that's the case, she needs to find a way to get some breathing room and figure out what she really wants to do. Maybe it's to sell to her uncle, but maybe it's not.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I have to agree with this. The way the post is written, it sounds like OP is selling the house just to get herself away from her family not because she actually wants to part with her dad's house. If that's the case, she needs to find a way to get some breathing room and figure out what she really wants to do. Maybe it's to sell to her uncle, but maybe it's not.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1607711566.0, \"created_utc\": 1607711566.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gff6cno\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kb6uo4\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gff6cno\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gff560m\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/gff6cno/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5680, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5680, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "184b8d1bfe666f82", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "f624c00f8d5aeba4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "If dad had wanted it to go to uncle, he would have left it for uncle. I believe having land/property/a house is way more valuable than having the money, especially if sentiment is involved. OP just needs help getting them out, which is expected due to her youth. I hope she keeps the house.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>If dad had wanted it to go to uncle, he would have left it for uncle. I believe having land/property/a house is way more valuable than having the money, especially if sentiment is involved. OP just needs help getting them out, which is expected due to her youth. I hope she keeps the house.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607716337.0, "created_utc": 1607716337.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gfflj1m", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_kb6uo4", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gfflj1m", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gff6cno", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/gfflj1m/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "613dae2efc4f386a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "f40b5f8b81b74753", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It\u2019s not \u201cgoing\u201d to the uncle, it\u2019s been given to OP and she\u2019s *selling* it to her uncle, his brother. Not a gift. I understand your point, but I\u2019m not sure OP is bound to keep the house. It\u2019s her\u2019s now to do with as she sees fit. That can be selling to anyone including her uncle. She should check with an attorney and a realtor.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It\u2019s not \u201cgoing\u201d to the uncle, it\u2019s been given to OP and she\u2019s <em>selling</em> it to her uncle, his brother. Not a gift. I understand your point, but I\u2019m not sure OP is bound to keep the house. It\u2019s her\u2019s now to do with as she sees fit. That can be selling to anyone including her uncle. She should check with an attorney and a realtor.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607721595.0, "created_utc": 1607721595.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gfg1c7i", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_kb6uo4", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gfg1c7i", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gfflj1m", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/gfg1c7i/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 167, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 167, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e18af84060f6653a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "52da3ea9e485c132", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Why would he give it to his brother in the first place when his kid and wife are living there?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Why would he give it to his brother in the first place when his kid and wife are living there?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607723295.0, "created_utc": 1607723295.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gfg4ok8", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_kb6uo4", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gfg4ok8", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gfflj1m", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kb6uo4/aita_for_selling_my_family_home_because_my/gfg4ok8/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 49, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 49, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 201, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 201, "user_reports": []}
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NTA - the fact that she is saying it’s your fault for not letting her use your car shows she’s learned nothing from this yet. If you drop the charges she still won’t learn anything and will continue to go through life thinking everyone owes her whatever she wants.
Let’s say you drop the charges, what happens next time she wants something?
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jn5elo
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6fcfe977919faeb4
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{"demographics": {"age group": "35-45 (based on WoW vanilla raiding since 2004, suggesting gaming from late teens/early 20s)", "gender": "Female (discusses personal use of period underwear and stress incontinence in women, uses 'their' for partner suggesting non-binary or privacy preference)", "location": "Australia (explicitly states 'In Australia we mark it \"Return to Sender - Not Known At This Address\"')", "occupation": "Likely HR, legal, or management professional (demonstrates expertise in hiring practices, estate planning, legal processes, and workplace policies)", "nationality": "Australian", "other": "Has a partner with depression and GAD; is a caregiver; long-time WoW guild/raid leader; has traditional biblical name with uncommon spelling; experiences depressive episodes"}, "interests": ["Online gaming and WoW raid leadership ('I'm a long time guild and raid leader for a WoW guild who has raided continuously since vanilla')", "Mental health and caregiving dynamics ('I have a partner who suffers from both depression and GAD, I get overwhelmed periodically')", "Legal and financial protection strategies ('you desperately need to see an estate planning lawyer and get documented how your funds can be handled')", "Workplace professionalism and hiring practices ('Honestly, if I was interviewing and she tried it, she would be told that if she didn't leave I would be terminating the interview')", "Women's health products and practical solutions ('I've been a fan of ModiBodi for years now. They're great')", "Child supervision and parental responsibility ('At which case - why was Ethan not being adequately supervised?')", "Identity theft and fraud prevention ('This is fraud and identity theft. Do not make any payments as it will indicate that you personally accept responsibility')", "Interpersonal boundaries and relationship dynamics ('Everything in life is compromise, an important life skill is learning what to compromise on')", "Practical household management and safety ('There was an ask reddit a few years back...about how they were gaming upstairs with noise cancelling headphones')", "Period hygiene and menstrual products ('period underwear...they just help protect against leaking and accidents')", "Family dynamics and enabling behaviors ('Which only tells the boat rocker their behaviour is ok and increases the likelihood they will continue')", "Financial responsibility and housing situations ('given the brother was pretty sketchy about paying rent, if the girl in question is having any difficulty in her housing situation')"], "values": ["Personal accountability and consequences for actions ('She deserves to experience the consequences of her actions' regarding bullying behavior)", "Proper supervision and responsibility for dependents ('If as a nine year old he couldn't understand not to enter off limit locations...he should not have been out of sight/control')", "Financial prudence and asset protection ('With that kind of money in the bank you desperately need to see an estate planning lawyer')", "Professional boundaries and workplace appropriateness ('Her choice. The kid is welcome to stay, but the interview won't progress while she's there')", "Maturity requirements for adult activities ('Frankly, if he's grossed out by periods, he's way too immature to be having sex at all')", "Self-care and avoiding burnout ('You need ensure you are looking after yourself in addition to your family. You can't help anyone else if you're drowning')", "Distinguishing bullying from humor ('It's not a joke when it's at the expense of someone less privileged that you - it's bullying')", "Immediate action on serious problems ('This is not a situation you can ignore and hope it will fix itself. You need to act yesterday, today is the next best option')", "Not enabling bad behavior ('Which only tells the boat rocker their behaviour is ok and increases the likelihood they will continue to rock the boat')", "Consistency in expectations ('If OP and her husband aren't vegetarian - why is the it's meat the only issue?')", "Supporting vulnerable parties ('TBH - given the brother was pretty sketchy about paying rent, if the girl in question is having any difficulty...OP should consider giving the ex-hook up somewhere to stay')", "Practical compromise and life skills ('Everything in life is compromise, an important life skill is learning what to compromise on')"], "communication": ["Provides detailed, actionable advice with specific steps ('freeze your credit immediately and get an assessment of debts in your name')", "Uses emphatic language and strong declaratives ('Absolutely you need to report this to the police. This is fraud and identity theft')", "References personal experience to establish credibility ('I'm a long time guild and raid leader for a WoW guild who has raided continuously since vanilla')", "Employs logical reasoning and conditional statements ('If as a nine year old he couldn't understand...he should not have been out of sight/control')", "Writes in clear, structured paragraphs with professional tone", "Uses Australian English conventions and terminology ('In Australia we mark it \"Return to Sender - Not Known At This Address\"')", "Offers mathematical or quantitative corrections when needed ('2 sitters x 4 kids x $20 per hour is $160 per hour')", "Shares relevant anecdotes to illustrate points ('There was an ask reddit a few years back...about how they were gaming upstairs')", "Balances empathy with practical solutions ('It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that you've experienced depression...You need ensure you are looking after yourself')", "Uses direct, no-nonsense language for serious situations ('Do not make any payments as it will indicate that you personally accept responsibility for the debts')", "Provides context and explanations for recommendations ('we have scheduled times for raid and planned break times...This is important so we don't have people chaining bio breaks')", "Occasionally uses very brief responses for simple agreement or observation ('I feel observed....')"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 5 words ('I feel observed....') to 250+ words (identity theft advice), with most responses between 50-150 words", "Frequently uses conditional structures ('If [condition], then [consequence]')", "Common opening phrases include 'Absolutely,' 'Honestly,' 'This is super important,' 'Frankly,' and 'TBH'", "Uses emphatic constructions with 'need to' and 'should' frequently", "Employs numbered lists and structured formatting for complex advice", "Frequently uses parenthetical clarifications and examples", "Uses ellipses for trailing thoughts or emphasis ('I feel observed....')", "Incorporates direct quotes from contexts to reference specific points", "Balances short, punchy statements with longer explanatory paragraphs", "Uses Australian spelling conventions (e.g., 'behaviour' not 'behavior')"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for pressing charges?\n\nMy cousin turned 18 recently. She\u2019s in high school. \n\nShe doesn\u2019t have a car, and during her birthday weekend, thought her parents were going to buy her one. They didn\u2019t get her one and she was pretty upset. I should note that I\u2019m not very close with my cousin. Or the rest of my extended family for that matter. I only heard about this through the grapevine from my dad. Anyway\n\nMy cousin texts me on the Friday before her birthday asking if she can take my car (I just leased a new Ford escape) to the mall and then for an out of town road trip with her friends over the weekend. I tell her no. \n\nShe begs and pleads with me. I tell her no again. My car is for me to drive and for me only. If she wants her own car she can save up and buy one. She calls me a bitch and says that I ruined her birthday and that she\u2019s embarrassed because her friends think she got a car for her birthday and she doesn\u2019t have one. I don\u2019t respond to her and think nothing of it. \n\nThe weekend comes and I sleep in very late on that Saturday, waking up at 1:00 pm (don\u2019t judge lol). Even though my car is parked in my driveway and my gate is closed, I come to realize that someone egged and TP\u2019d my car. With many, many eggs and 5-6 rolls of TP. And since the weather was warm outside, the raw egg baked into my car, along with the dried up toilet paper, destroying the paint. \n\nSince I have security cameras around my house, I decide to go back and watch. At around nine thirtyish that morning, I see my cousin and a bunch of her stupid friends vandalizing my car. I\u2019m surprise she didn\u2019t smash the windows and poke holes in the tires too.\n\nTo save my post from the 3000 character limit, I obviously pressed charges and my cousin is in legal trouble. Her and her parents are pissed off at me for pressing charges, her parents telling me that she\u2019s \u201cjust a kid\u201d and that she\u2019s been through a lot of \u2018emotional stress\u2019 doing virtual schooling for this past year and that I should take that into consideration, and that I should be ashamed of myself for pressing legal charges against my baby cousin, that I\u2019m almost 30 and dont I remember what I was like at that age? (I do remember, and I wasn\u2019t stupid enough to egg anyone\u2019s car) and can\u2019t she work something out with me like doing chores around my house for money if I drop the charges... that she\u2019s young, that she doesn\u2019t need a felony on her record, etc. and that it was just a prank. Right after I press charges, my cousin was calling and texting me over and over saying that this could\u2019ve been avoided had I let her take my car. \n\nAm I the asshole in this situation?\n\nI need to add that my cousin already has a felony on her record, a DUI. She\u2019s not remorseful of anything.\n\nAlso, my aunt and uncle will not pay me for the damages. They just want me to drop the charges and pay for everything myself like nothing happened. They are cheap.", "role": "bluuubleeeebluuuuu", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"bluuubleeeebluuuuu\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8qgp9lo0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1604384782.0, \"created_utc\": 1604384782.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1604405184.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jn5elo\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jn5elo\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3052, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jn5elo/aita_for_pressing_charges/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26061, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My cousin turned 18 recently. She\\u2019s in high school. \\n\\nShe doesn\\u2019t have a car, and during her birthday weekend, thought her parents were going to buy her one. They didn\\u2019t get her one and she was pretty upset. I should note that I\\u2019m not very close with my cousin. Or the rest of my extended family for that matter. I only heard about this through the grapevine from my dad. Anyway\\n\\nMy cousin texts me on the Friday before her birthday asking if she can take my car (I just leased a new Ford escape) to the mall and then for an out of town road trip with her friends over the weekend. I tell her no. \\n\\nShe begs and pleads with me. I tell her no again. My car is for me to drive and for me only. If she wants her own car she can save up and buy one. She calls me a bitch and says that I ruined her birthday and that she\\u2019s embarrassed because her friends think she got a car for her birthday and she doesn\\u2019t have one. I don\\u2019t respond to her and think nothing of it. \\n\\nThe weekend comes and I sleep in very late on that Saturday, waking up at 1:00 pm (don\\u2019t judge lol). Even though my car is parked in my driveway and my gate is closed, I come to realize that someone egged and TP\\u2019d my car. With many, many eggs and 5-6 rolls of TP. And since the weather was warm outside, the raw egg baked into my car, along with the dried up toilet paper, destroying the paint. \\n\\nSince I have security cameras around my house, I decide to go back and watch. At around nine thirtyish that morning, I see my cousin and a bunch of her stupid friends vandalizing my car. I\\u2019m surprise she didn\\u2019t smash the windows and poke holes in the tires too.\\n\\nTo save my post from the 3000 character limit, I obviously pressed charges and my cousin is in legal trouble. Her and her parents are pissed off at me for pressing charges, her parents telling me that she\\u2019s \\u201cjust a kid\\u201d and that she\\u2019s been through a lot of \\u2018emotional stress\\u2019 doing virtual schooling for this past year and that I should take that into consideration, and that I should be ashamed of myself for pressing legal charges against my baby cousin, that I\\u2019m almost 30 and dont I remember what I was like at that age? (I do remember, and I wasn\\u2019t stupid enough to egg anyone\\u2019s car) and can\\u2019t she work something out with me like doing chores around my house for money if I drop the charges... that she\\u2019s young, that she doesn\\u2019t need a felony on her record, etc. and that it was just a prank. Right after I press charges, my cousin was calling and texting me over and over saying that this could\\u2019ve been avoided had I let her take my car. \\n\\nAm I the asshole in this situation?\\n\\nI need to add that my cousin already has a felony on her record, a DUI. She\\u2019s not remorseful of anything.\\n\\nAlso, my aunt and uncle will not pay me for the damages. They just want me to drop the charges and pay for everything myself like nothing happened. They are cheap.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My cousin turned 18 recently. She\\u2019s in high school. </p>\\n\\n<p>She doesn\\u2019t have a car, and during her birthday weekend, thought her parents were going to buy her one. They didn\\u2019t get her one and she was pretty upset. I should note that I\\u2019m not very close with my cousin. Or the rest of my extended family for that matter. I only heard about this through the grapevine from my dad. Anyway</p>\\n\\n<p>My cousin texts me on the Friday before her birthday asking if she can take my car (I just leased a new Ford escape) to the mall and then for an out of town road trip with her friends over the weekend. I tell her no. </p>\\n\\n<p>She begs and pleads with me. I tell her no again. My car is for me to drive and for me only. If she wants her own car she can save up and buy one. She calls me a bitch and says that I ruined her birthday and that she\\u2019s embarrassed because her friends think she got a car for her birthday and she doesn\\u2019t have one. I don\\u2019t respond to her and think nothing of it. </p>\\n\\n<p>The weekend comes and I sleep in very late on that Saturday, waking up at 1:00 pm (don\\u2019t judge lol). Even though my car is parked in my driveway and my gate is closed, I come to realize that someone egged and TP\\u2019d my car. With many, many eggs and 5-6 rolls of TP. And since the weather was warm outside, the raw egg baked into my car, along with the dried up toilet paper, destroying the paint. </p>\\n\\n<p>Since I have security cameras around my house, I decide to go back and watch. At around nine thirtyish that morning, I see my cousin and a bunch of her stupid friends vandalizing my car. I\\u2019m surprise she didn\\u2019t smash the windows and poke holes in the tires too.</p>\\n\\n<p>To save my post from the 3000 character limit, I obviously pressed charges and my cousin is in legal trouble. Her and her parents are pissed off at me for pressing charges, her parents telling me that she\\u2019s \\u201cjust a kid\\u201d and that she\\u2019s been through a lot of \\u2018emotional stress\\u2019 doing virtual schooling for this past year and that I should take that into consideration, and that I should be ashamed of myself for pressing legal charges against my baby cousin, that I\\u2019m almost 30 and dont I remember what I was like at that age? (I do remember, and I wasn\\u2019t stupid enough to egg anyone\\u2019s car) and can\\u2019t she work something out with me like doing chores around my house for money if I drop the charges... that she\\u2019s young, that she doesn\\u2019t need a felony on her record, etc. and that it was just a prank. Right after I press charges, my cousin was calling and texting me over and over saying that this could\\u2019ve been avoided had I let her take my car. </p>\\n\\n<p>Am I the asshole in this situation?</p>\\n\\n<p>I need to add that my cousin already has a felony on her record, a DUI. She\\u2019s not remorseful of anything.</p>\\n\\n<p>Also, my aunt and uncle will not pay me for the damages. They just want me to drop the charges and pay for everything myself like nothing happened. They are cheap.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jn5elo\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for pressing charges?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26061, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jn5elo/aita_for_pressing_charges/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Sure, you could have spoken with them first before pressing charges, but that last sentence was very telling. That she would text you and basically retroactively threaten you to let her take the car or she\u2019d vandalize it says a lot about her character, and she\u2019d probably have charges pressed against her at some point in the future anyway. Hopefully she learns a lesson to avoid that happening again. Also, chores around the house to make up for it? It\u2019s called community service ordered by the judge.", "role": "pennywhistlesmoonpie", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"pennywhistlesmoonpie\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#c7a509\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d5e9f50c-a710-11e9-895a-0ec19882c37a\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Pooperintendant [58]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5jn7oogj\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Sure, you could have spoken with them first before pressing charges, but that last sentence was very telling. That she would text you and basically retroactively threaten you to let her take the car or she\\u2019d vandalize it says a lot about her character, and she\\u2019d probably have charges pressed against her at some point in the future anyway. Hopefully she learns a lesson to avoid that happening again. Also, chores around the house to make up for it? It\\u2019s called community service ordered by the judge.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Sure, you could have spoken with them first before pressing charges, but that last sentence was very telling. That she would text you and basically retroactively threaten you to let her take the car or she\\u2019d vandalize it says a lot about her character, and she\\u2019d probably have charges pressed against her at some point in the future anyway. Hopefully she learns a lesson to avoid that happening again. Also, chores around the house to make up for it? It\\u2019s called community service ordered by the judge.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1604384968.0, \"created_utc\": 1604384968.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gazchnp\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_jn5elo\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gazchnp\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_jn5elo\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jn5elo/aita_for_pressing_charges/gazchnp/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23248, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23248, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "6fcfe977919faeb4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9c80e33dc0d6eb32", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": true, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA - the fact that she is saying it\u2019s your fault for not letting her use your car shows she\u2019s learned nothing from this yet. If you drop the charges she still won\u2019t learn anything and will continue to go through life thinking everyone owes her whatever she wants. \n\nLet\u2019s say you drop the charges, what happens next time she wants something?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA - the fact that she is saying it\u2019s your fault for not letting her use your car shows she\u2019s learned nothing from this yet. If you drop the charges she still won\u2019t learn anything and will continue to go through life thinking everyone owes her whatever she wants. </p>\n\n<p>Let\u2019s say you drop the charges, what happens next time she wants something?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1604398078.0, "created_utc": 1604398078.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gazpfcl", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jn5elo", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gazpfcl", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gazchnp", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jn5elo/aita_for_pressing_charges/gazpfcl/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 75, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 75, "user_reports": []}
|
Worse, the "compromise" was that OP could live in her own home WITH THE KIDS and sister would live elsewhere.
Sister says, "Fine you won't give me your house, you can be my permanent full time babysitter."
OP NTA. And tell your sister "I asked the internet and it said, 'OH, HELL NO!'"
Might burn some bridges, but that's probably a benefit in the long run.
Edit: On rereading I feel I should be clear the sister didn't literally say that. It's just what she meant to happen.
|
i3c7d0
|
05b753683e85f333
| 1,596,545,879
| 5
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Likely female (mentions breastfeeding for 7.25 years and nursing through pregnancy)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent with at least two children; experienced with infant care and extended breastfeeding; mentions tandem nursing"}, "interests": ["Parenting challenges and childcare logistics, particularly infant care (extensively discusses diapering challenges: 'How do you hold the baby still and still have hands to change the diaper')", "Family dynamics and interpersonal relationships, especially parent-child boundaries", "Legal and financial matters affecting families (inheritance, name changes, child support)", "Children's rights and autonomy (supports teen blogger wanting privacy, advocates for informed decisions)", "Long-term consequences of decisions ('That way any college degree is in the new name and not the one on Mommy's blog')", "Breastfeeding and maternal health ('I had to go 8 years without taking cold medicine' due to pregnancy and nursing)", "Practical problem-solving in domestic situations", "Identifying missing information or hidden motivations in conflicts ('this smacks strongly to me of there being something OP doesn't know')", "Customer service experiences and workplace dynamics", "Gender dynamics and societal expectations around parenting roles"], "values": ["Prioritizes children's wellbeing and safety over adult convenience ('I would never trust her when it comes to your kid')", "Believes in informed decision-making with full information ('you are making sure she has all the relevant info before she takes a big step')", "Recognizes complexity and avoids oversimplification ('Without knowing what the missing info is I'm hesitant to judge anyone else as an AH')", "Supports personal autonomy and boundary-setting ('The message should unequivocally be that he is in the wrong')", "Values honesty and direct communication over manipulation", "Skeptical of surface-level explanations, looks for underlying issues ('Then he stalled the divorce once she had a terminal illness, so he'd inherit everything')", "Emphasizes practical preparation and planning ('Diapering a baby is at least 50% in the advance planning')", "Recognizes that good intentions don't excuse harmful patterns ('there are certain people who believe that if they overcame any struggles in life it is their duty to inflict those struggles on future groups')", "Advocates for protecting vulnerable parties in power imbalances", "Believes disability and obesity can be interconnected ('sometimes disability causes obesity. Sometimes obesity causes disability')", "Values empathy while maintaining practical boundaries"], "communication": ["Uses strikethrough formatting for corrections and emphasis ('~she has her hands full with her work and needs~ I want her to be fully focused')", "Employs conversational, accessible tone with occasional humor ('Mrs. Beech, still a tree, good enough')", "Frequently uses parenthetical asides to add context or clarification", "Makes edits to posts with clear labels ('Edit:', 'ETA:') to add information or correct misunderstandings", "Presents multiple scenarios or possibilities before drawing conclusions", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight logical flaws ('How do you get to adulthood and not know that teenage boys will eat you out of house and home')", "Provides detailed, step-by-step explanations for complex situations (extensive breakdown of diapering challenges)", "Varies response length dramatically based on topic complexity, from 4-word affirmations to 200+ word analyses", "Uses numbered or lettered lists to organize complex scenarios ('A. Dodge the pee B. Keep the baby's clothes out of the pee')", "Often begins with agreement phrases ('to be fair,' 'that's the thing though,' 'you are right') before elaborating", "Quotes specific parts of previous messages to address particular points directly"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 4 words ('You are on a roll') to approximately 250 words in detailed explanations", "Average response length approximately 60-80 words", "Frequently uses phrases: 'to be fair' (appears 3+ times), 'that's the thing though' (2+ times), 'it's not' for corrections", "Uses parenthetical statements in majority of longer responses for additional context", "Employs strikethrough formatting in multiple responses for emphasis", "Makes explicit edits (ETA/Edit) in approximately 20% of responses", "Uses numbered/lettered lists in complex scenario breakdowns", "Tends toward longer, more analytical responses for parenting and family conflict topics", "Shorter responses (under 20 words) typically express agreement or brief clarifications", "Frequently structures responses as: acknowledgment + elaboration + specific example or consequence"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for refusing to let my sister and her kids move into the house that I bought?\n\nI'm a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs. My sister is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.\n\n\u200b\n\n When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being \"wasteful\" as I'm single and don't have kids and therefor don't need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how \"selfish\" I was being. Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.\n\n\u200b\n\nI told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable. That my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I *needed* to let her and her kids live in my house. When I refused again, she very generously suggested a \"compromise\". I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor. \n\n\u200b\n\nI told her she had lost her mind and hung up. \n\nAm I the asshole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement is ridiculous.", "role": "ChaoticNature32", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ChaoticNature32\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7jqr22n8\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1596512975.0, \"created_utc\": 1596512975.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"i3c7d0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1845, \"num_crossposts\": 6, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25501, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs. My sister is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.\\n\\n​\\n\\n When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being \\\"wasteful\\\" as I'm single and don't have kids and therefor don't need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how \\\"selfish\\\" I was being. Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.\\n\\n​\\n\\nI told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable. That my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I *needed* to let her and her kids live in my house. When I refused again, she very generously suggested a \\\"compromise\\\". I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor. \\n\\n​\\n\\nI told her she had lost her mind and hung up. \\n\\nAm I the asshole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement is ridiculous.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs. My sister is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being "wasteful" as I'm single and don't have kids and therefor don't need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how "selfish" I was being. Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>I told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable. That my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I <em>needed</em> to let her and her kids live in my house. When I refused again, she very generously suggested a "compromise". I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor. </p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>I told her she had lost her mind and hung up. </p>\\n\\n<p>Am I the asshole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement is ridiculous.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for refusing to let my sister and her kids move into the house that I bought?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25501, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.94, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": ">I'm a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. ~~^(It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs)~~~~\\~\\~\\~\\~.~~ My sister ~~^(is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.)~~\n[...quoted text...]\n\nHeartiest **NTA** possible.\n\nEdit - thanks for the awards; I'm not certain they're entirely justified but they are most certainly deeply appreciated. \n\nOne thing (and I know this thread is now locked, so if anyone has insights, PM me, maybe?**) I am not receiving notifications when people gild me.** I didn't even know it was happening until I saw a little red and white shield next to my name, and a coin balance when I bought no coins. If anyone knows what settings need to be tweaked so that I can actually know who gilds me, I'd be glad of the knowledge. I've done some poking around various FAQs to see if I can get to the bottom of it myself, and thus far I have not. I sent a message to Reddit as well, awaiting advisement. Thanks in advance if anyone can help, and THANKS very much to those of you who chose to send me an award.", "role": "Snausagefestivus", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Snausagefestivus\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [13]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7ejf782p\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \">I'm a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. ~~^(It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs)~~~~\\\\~\\\\~\\\\~\\\\~.~~ My sister ~~^(is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.)~~ \\n> \\n>~~^(When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being \\\"wasteful\\\" as I'm single and don't have kids and therefor don't need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how \\\"selfish\\\" I was being. Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.)~~ \\n> \\n>~~^(I told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable. That my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I)~~ *~~^(needed)~~* ~~^(to let her and her kids live in my house. When I refused again, she very generously suggested a \\\"compromise\\\". I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor.)~~ \\n> \\n>~~^(I told her she had lost her mind and hung up.)~~ \\n> \\n>~~^(Am I the asshole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement)~~ is ridiculous.\\n\\nHeartiest **NTA** possible.\\n\\nEdit - thanks for the awards; I'm not certain they're entirely justified but they are most certainly deeply appreciated. \\n\\nOne thing (and I know this thread is now locked, so if anyone has insights, PM me, maybe?**) I am not receiving notifications when people gild me.** I didn't even know it was happening until I saw a little red and white shield next to my name, and a coin balance when I bought no coins. If anyone knows what settings need to be tweaked so that I can actually know who gilds me, I'd be glad of the knowledge. I've done some poking around various FAQs to see if I can get to the bottom of it myself, and thus far I have not. I sent a message to Reddit as well, awaiting advisement. Thanks in advance if anyone can help, and THANKS very much to those of you who chose to send me an award.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><blockquote>\\n<p>I'm a 32 year old woman and I just bought my first house. <del><sup>It has 3 bedrooms, a yard and is just what I need right now. I'm single and have 2 dogs</sup></del><del>~~~~.</del> My sister <del><sup>is 34, has 3 children and lives in a 2 bedroom apartment. Lately, she's been talking about how such a tiny living space is not enough for the four of them.</sup></del> </p>\\n\\n<p><del><sup>When she got to know about the house I had bought, she became very upset and told me I was being "wasteful" as I'm single and don't have kids and therefor don't need such a big space. I reminded her that what I do with my hard earned money is none of her business. She went on to complain to our mother about how "selfish" I was being. Yesterday evening, I got a call from my mom telling me I should let my sister and her kids move into the house. MY house.</sup></del> </p>\\n\\n<p><del><sup>I told her that no one was going to live in the house that I paid for but me, and that extra space would be great for my dogs to play in. My mom also got very upset with me and told me I was being unreasonable. That my sister's kids are growing and need the space more than my dogs. I offered to help my sister out financially so she could rent a bigger place. My mom got my sister on the phone who shot down the idea, telling me I</sup></del> <em><del><sup>needed</sup></del></em> <del><sup>to let her and her kids live in my house. When I refused again, she very generously suggested a "compromise". I could live in the house with her and her kids and would not have to find somewhere else to live. She said this as if she was doing me a favor.</sup></del> </p>\\n\\n<p><del><sup>I told her she had lost her mind and hung up.</sup></del> </p>\\n\\n<p><del><sup>Am I the asshole, or is she? I know my sister is struggling financially but this kind of entitlement</sup></del> is ridiculous.</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>Heartiest <strong>NTA</strong> possible.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit - thanks for the awards; I'm not certain they're entirely justified but they are most certainly deeply appreciated. </p>\\n\\n<p>One thing (and I know this thread is now locked, so if anyone has insights, PM me, maybe?<strong>) I am not receiving notifications when people gild me.</strong> I didn't even know it was happening until I saw a little red and white shield next to my name, and a coin balance when I bought no coins. If anyone knows what settings need to be tweaked so that I can actually know who gilds me, I'd be glad of the knowledge. I've done some poking around various FAQs to see if I can get to the bottom of it myself, and thus far I have not. I sent a message to Reddit as well, awaiting advisement. Thanks in advance if anyone can help, and THANKS very much to those of you who chose to send me an award.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596514010.0, \"created_utc\": 1596514010.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1596559589.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0akk8t\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0akk8t\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/g0akk8t/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 36688, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 36688, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I think the mother is the *real* AH here. She's the one who raised these two, and she then backs up the batshit crazy sister she corrupted. Sure, the sister is 34 and her entitlement is squarely her problem here, but I sense that this mother has been enabling her golden daughter for decades.\n\nOP is NTA anyway but man, that mother is the most toxic individual in this story hands down.", "role": "suleyman_the_avg", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"suleyman_the_avg\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_42uwhfla\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I think the mother is the *real* AH here. She's the one who raised these two, and she then backs up the batshit crazy sister she corrupted. Sure, the sister is 34 and her entitlement is squarely her problem here, but I sense that this mother has been enabling her golden daughter for decades.\\n\\nOP is NTA anyway but man, that mother is the most toxic individual in this story hands down.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I think the mother is the <em>real</em> AH here. She's the one who raised these two, and she then backs up the batshit crazy sister she corrupted. Sure, the sister is 34 and her entitlement is squarely her problem here, but I sense that this mother has been enabling her golden daughter for decades.</p>\\n\\n<p>OP is NTA anyway but man, that mother is the most toxic individual in this story hands down.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596528413.0, \"created_utc\": 1596528413.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0b1tlb\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0b1tlb\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g0akk8t\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/g0b1tlb/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1183, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1183, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Ultimately, shed still be living in two bedrooms. All she would gain is a yard and a feeling that she could probably get away with skipping out on rent because 'faaaamily'.\n\nI've said it before and I'll say it again. The drama and tantrums will happen regardless if you allow the shitshow of a relative move in. Might as well just deal with it now than deal with it after months/years of money down the drain, drama, stress and disowning after you ultimately have to kick them out.", "role": "RocketFuelMaItLiquor", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"RocketFuelMaItLiquor\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1pzk848i\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Ultimately, shed still be living in two bedrooms. All she would gain is a yard and a feeling that she could probably get away with skipping out on rent because 'faaaamily'.\\n\\nI've said it before and I'll say it again. The drama and tantrums will happen regardless if you allow the shitshow of a relative move in. Might as well just deal with it now than deal with it after months/years of money down the drain, drama, stress and disowning after you ultimately have to kick them out.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Ultimately, shed still be living in two bedrooms. All she would gain is a yard and a feeling that she could probably get away with skipping out on rent because 'faaaamily'.</p>\\n\\n<p>I've said it before and I'll say it again. The drama and tantrums will happen regardless if you allow the shitshow of a relative move in. Might as well just deal with it now than deal with it after months/years of money down the drain, drama, stress and disowning after you ultimately have to kick them out.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596536218.0, \"created_utc\": 1596536218.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0b9kqe\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0b9kqe\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g0b1tlb\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/g0b9kqe/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 263, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 263, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Well, remember the \"compromise\" was that the OP could live in the house as well, and not have to find somewhere else to live. \n\nThe sister fully expected OP to just hand over her own home and pay for an apartment and presumably her mortgage as well. (Presuming that there's still a mortgage, not that the sister would pay for the house and OP wouldn't have to.)", "role": "TychaBrahe", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"TychaBrahe\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [5]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_70i3r\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": true, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Well, remember the \\\"compromise\\\" was that the OP could live in the house as well, and not have to find somewhere else to live. \\n\\nThe sister fully expected OP to just hand over her own home and pay for an apartment and presumably her mortgage as well. (Presuming that there's still a mortgage, not that the sister would pay for the house and OP wouldn't have to.)\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Well, remember the "compromise" was that the OP could live in the house as well, and not have to find somewhere else to live. </p>\\n\\n<p>The sister fully expected OP to just hand over her own home and pay for an apartment and presumably her mortgage as well. (Presuming that there's still a mortgage, not that the sister would pay for the house and OP wouldn't have to.)</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596538817.0, \"created_utc\": 1596538817.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0bc96d\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i3c7d0\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0bc96d\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g0b9kqe\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/g0bc96d/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 163, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 163, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "05b753683e85f333", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b0dfdd2f72cc4104", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Worse, the \"compromise\" was that OP could live in her own home WITH THE KIDS and sister would live elsewhere.\n\nSister says, \"Fine you won't give me your house, you can be my permanent full time babysitter.\"\n\nOP NTA. And tell your sister \"I asked the internet and it said, 'OH, HELL NO!'\"\nMight burn some bridges, but that's probably a benefit in the long run.\n\nEdit: On rereading I feel I should be clear the sister didn't literally say that. It's just what she meant to happen.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Worse, the "compromise" was that OP could live in her own home WITH THE KIDS and sister would live elsewhere.</p>\n\n<p>Sister says, "Fine you won't give me your house, you can be my permanent full time babysitter."</p>\n\n<p>OP NTA. And tell your sister "I asked the internet and it said, 'OH, HELL NO!'"\nMight burn some bridges, but that's probably a benefit in the long run.</p>\n\n<p>Edit: On rereading I feel I should be clear the sister didn't literally say that. It's just what she meant to happen.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1596545879.0, "created_utc": 1596545879.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1596558398.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g0bl9m0", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_i3c7d0", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g0bl9m0", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g0bc96d", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/g0bl9m0/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0b645fc105e7070e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c0bdea1598e9491d", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I\u2019m sorry, _what_? That\u2019s orders of magnitudes more AH than I thought!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I\u2019m sorry, <em>what</em>? That\u2019s orders of magnitudes more AH than I thought!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1596547902.0, "created_utc": 1596547902.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g0bogdq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_i3c7d0", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g0bogdq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g0bl9m0", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i3c7d0/aita_for_refusing_to_let_my_sister_and_her_kids/g0bogdq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 7, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 7, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 52, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 52, "user_reports": []}
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I am just so sorry Mr Rodriguez. Your wife sounds like an amazing woman that was loved tremendously by all. I will be sending you all my positive healing/ comforting thoughts to you and your family.
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uj9izs
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38ff85bfb72da077
| 1,651,798,821
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent of a 5-year-old daughter (mentioned 'our 5 year old has noticed I've stopped eating'); has experienced loss of a nephew/niece to terminal illness"}, "interests": ["Relationship conflicts and interpersonal drama, particularly responding to AITA posts", "Stories of people overcoming manipulation and standing up for themselves, calling them 'hero' and 'coolest person'", "Wedding-related conflicts and bridesmaid drama, providing detailed judgments on etiquette violations", "Grief, loss, and terminal illness situations, sharing personal experience with nephew/niece's terminal condition", "Workplace boundary violations and employment issues, encouraging people to recognize their worth", "Family dynamics and toxic relationships, particularly involving siblings and parents", "Update posts and follow-up stories, maintaining engagement with ongoing situations", "Stories involving stalking or safety concerns, recommending police involvement and support resources", "Situations where people are being financially exploited or taken advantage of", "Posts about people escaping abusive or controlling relationships"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and self-respect, telling people 'you deserve so much better'", "Deep empathy for those experiencing grief and loss, offering 'every good wish and comforting thoughts'", "Condemnation of manipulation and gaslighting, calling out 'abusive leeches' and selfish behavior", "Support for following one's instincts in dangerous situations, praising 'astute' decision-making", "Belief that people should prioritize their own wellbeing over toxic relationships", "Compassion for terminal illness situations, stating 'the rules change when you have a terminal loved one'", "Recognition that 'focusing on what the child wants helps you keep moving forward day by day'", "Strong stance against people who exploit others' kindness or generosity", "Belief in calling out inappropriate behavior directly rather than enabling it", "Value of authentic relationships over maintaining appearances or avoiding conflict"], "communication": ["Consistently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgments at the start of responses", "Addresses original posters directly as 'OP' with warm, supportive tone", "Employs emphatic repetition for emphasis ('please please,' 'so so sorry')", "Uses strong positive descriptors like 'hero,' 'righteous,' 'astute,' 'legitimate hero'", "Shares personal experiences when relevant, particularly about nephew/niece's terminal illness", "Incorporates occasional emojis for emotional expression (\ud83d\ude4f, \ud83d\ude42, \ud83e\udd22, \ud83d\ude11)", "Uses ellipses (...) frequently for dramatic pauses and emotional emphasis", "Closes responses with well-wishes like 'good luck,' 'be safe,' 'sending you positive thoughts'", "Employs casual language and profanity when expressing strong disapproval ('fuck anyone for saying otherwise')", "Varies response length based on situation complexity, from brief validations to detailed advice", "Uses rhetorical questions and direct address to engage with the situation", "Structures longer responses with clear reasoning and step-by-step analysis"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 60-80 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length around 10 words ('NTA. That behavior is really disgusting \ud83e\udd22')", "Maximum response length exceeds 200 words in complex situations requiring detailed advice", "Most frequent phrases include 'NTA,' 'you deserve,' 'I'm so sorry,' 'good luck,' 'OP,' 'please'", "Frequent use of ellipses (...) for emotional pauses and emphasis throughout responses", "Common sentence starters: 'NTA,' 'You are,' 'I am,' 'Please,' 'I think'", "Uses exclamation points frequently to convey enthusiasm or emphasis in supportive statements", "Employs both short, punchy sentences and longer, complex explanatory sentences", "Regularly uses parenthetical asides and em dashes for additional context"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?\n\nI (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. \nA few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. \nYesterday was my 3yro's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I'd have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. \nBefore we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, instead she said \"besides, he's right, kids need a mom\". I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said \"see, it's even turning you into a pu**y\". \nMy in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said \"listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person\". She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her shit and leave. \nShe is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. \nAita for throwing her out?\n\nUPDATE: my mom agreed to take my sister in temporarily, and my nephew is still going to his dad's because now his dad is saying that there's no way he's letting my sister ruin their kid. \nI want to thank you all for your kind words and all the love and support. Also, to everyone who also shared about losing a loved one, I am so so sorry for your loss. \nMy nephew is supposed to leave tomorrow morning, my mom is picking my sister up right around that time, and my inlaws are bringing my boys back in the evening. We'll have a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws. Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons. One day at a time.", "role": "JuanitaaRodriguez", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JuanitaaRodriguez\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mr1lsda9\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1651791214.0, \"created_utc\": 1651791214.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1651865492.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"uj9izs\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2825, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 30129, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. \\nA few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. \\nYesterday was my 3yro's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I'd have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. \\nBefore we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, instead she said \\\"besides, he's right, kids need a mom\\\". I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said \\\"see, it's even turning you into a pu**y\\\". \\nMy in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said \\\"listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person\\\". She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her shit and leave. \\nShe is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. \\nAita for throwing her out?\\n\\nUPDATE: my mom agreed to take my sister in temporarily, and my nephew is still going to his dad's because now his dad is saying that there's no way he's letting my sister ruin their kid. \\nI want to thank you all for your kind words and all the love and support. Also, to everyone who also shared about losing a loved one, I am so so sorry for your loss. \\nMy nephew is supposed to leave tomorrow morning, my mom is picking my sister up right around that time, and my inlaws are bringing my boys back in the evening. We'll have a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws. Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons. One day at a time.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. \\nA few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. \\nYesterday was my 3yro's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I'd have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. \\nBefore we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, instead she said "besides, he's right, kids need a mom". I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said "see, it's even turning you into a pu**y". \\nMy in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said "listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person". She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her shit and leave. \\nShe is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. \\nAita for throwing her out?</p>\\n\\n<p>UPDATE: my mom agreed to take my sister in temporarily, and my nephew is still going to his dad's because now his dad is saying that there's no way he's letting my sister ruin their kid. \\nI want to thank you all for your kind words and all the love and support. Also, to everyone who also shared about losing a loved one, I am so so sorry for your loss. \\nMy nephew is supposed to leave tomorrow morning, my mom is picking my sister up right around that time, and my inlaws are bringing my boys back in the evening. We'll have a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws. Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons. One day at a time.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 30129, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA, what the hell is she talking about? Does she have no sympathy? \"We both lost our spouses\" ma'am you CHOSE to lose yours. And now it sounds like she's choosing to lose her relationship with you too. She has no right to treat you and your children that way. \n\nAnyway, I'm so, so sorry for your loss, and a belated happy birthday to your son. Sending lots of love", "role": "ColoredGayngels", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ColoredGayngels\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1gf5zcwk\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA, what the hell is she talking about? Does she have no sympathy? \\\"We both lost our spouses\\\" ma'am you CHOSE to lose yours. And now it sounds like she's choosing to lose her relationship with you too. She has no right to treat you and your children that way. \\n\\nAnyway, I'm so, so sorry for your loss, and a belated happy birthday to your son. Sending lots of love\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA, what the hell is she talking about? Does she have no sympathy? "We both lost our spouses" ma'am you CHOSE to lose yours. And now it sounds like she's choosing to lose her relationship with you too. She has no right to treat you and your children that way. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, I'm so, so sorry for your loss, and a belated happy birthday to your son. Sending lots of love</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1651791823.0, \"created_utc\": 1651791823.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7hk52y\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7hk52y\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/i7hk52y/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4000, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4000, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Thank you so much. The kids went for a sleepover with their grandparents, my in-laws, today. Hopefully when they get back, the house will be empty.", "role": "JuanitaaRodriguez", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JuanitaaRodriguez\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mr1lsda9\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Thank you so much. The kids went for a sleepover with their grandparents, my in-laws, today. Hopefully when they get back, the house will be empty.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Thank you so much. The kids went for a sleepover with their grandparents, my in-laws, today. Hopefully when they get back, the house will be empty.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1651792505.0, \"created_utc\": 1651792505.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7hllei\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7hllei\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i7hk52y\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/i7hllei/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2860, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2860, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "38ff85bfb72da077", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#ab8c0e", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0", "author_flair_text": "Colo-rectal Surgeon [33]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "d27698ff7a76b137", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I am just so sorry Mr Rodriguez. Your wife sounds like an amazing woman that was loved tremendously by all. I will be sending you all my positive healing/ comforting thoughts to you and your family.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I am just so sorry Mr Rodriguez. Your wife sounds like an amazing woman that was loved tremendously by all. I will be sending you all my positive healing/ comforting thoughts to you and your family.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1651798821.0, "created_utc": 1651798821.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i7hy4lx", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_uj9izs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i7hy4lx", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i7hllei", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/i7hy4lx/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 100, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 100, "user_reports": []}
|
So glad to read your update.
Keep looking after yourself.
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xx6vqu
|
e61120c73319d2df
| 1,665,092,221
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has adult children - mentions 'Our son and daughter in law bought before engagement, but they had also been together for 10 years at that point', suggesting they are a parent of adult children"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and conflicts, particularly responding to posts about toxic family members", "Stories about people escaping abusive or controlling relationships, as seen in support for the woman whose husband said he 'owned' her", "Workplace boundaries and professional relationships, commenting on freeloading family members and work situations", "Parenting issues and generational conflicts, engaging with posts about adult children and grandparenting", "Mental health and therapy, expressing happiness when people seek professional help for PPD and other issues", "LGBTQ+ relationships and acceptance, showing support for same-sex marriage announcements", "Personal autonomy and independence, particularly for women making their own life choices", "Stories of people standing up to unreasonable family expectations and pressure", "Toxic relationship patterns and financial abuse within marriages", "Family members taking advantage of others through freeloading or manipulation", "People setting healthy boundaries with difficult relatives", "Celebrating positive life changes and personal growth after difficult situations"], "values": ["Strong support for personal boundaries - 'Stay firm on your refusal' when discussing refusing to raise a second grandchild", "Belief that toxic behavior should be called out - 'Not to mention he regarded you as property. I can believe that he said that he \"owned you\"'", "Emphasis on self-care and mental health - 'I am glad that you are getting help and support now'", "Recognition of societal conditioning affecting women - 'Women have been conditioned by society from birth to get married, not kick up a fuss'", "Support for people escaping toxic situations - 'I am happy for you, that you are reclaiming your life and getting out of this toxic situation'", "Validation of people who prioritize their wellbeing over family pressure", "Appreciation for family members who provide genuine support - 'And awesome that Nan is on your side. No one in their right mind crosses Nan'", "Belief in holding people accountable for selfish behavior, particularly regarding family obligations", "Support for LGBTQ+ relationships and celebrating their happiness", "Recognition that small events can reveal larger patterns of abuse - 'It ends up being the tip of the iceberg that pokes through the water'", "Strong stance against family members who exploit others financially or emotionally", "Emphasis on personal responsibility and not enabling bad behavior in adult children"], "communication": ["Uses brief, supportive statements averaging 2-4 sentences per response", "Frequently opens with congratulatory or affirming language - 'Congratulations!', 'I am so happy to read your update'", "Employs warm, empathetic tone when responding to people in difficult situations", "Directly quotes or references specific problematic behaviors from original posts to validate concerns", "Uses simple, clear sentence structures without complex arguments", "Includes encouraging closing statements - 'Keep looking after yourself', 'So glad to read your update'", "Occasionally uses humor or lighthearted comments - 'No one in their right mind crosses Nan'", "Provides specific observations about positive aspects - 'I love that he is excited for you party/wedding celebration, that is so cute'", "Uses emphatic language to reinforce points - 'What insanely selfish people', 'This is golden and sprinkled with glitter level of awesome comeback'", "Balances validation with practical advice or observations", "Maintains consistent supportive presence without lengthy explanations"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 25-35 words", "Minimum response length: 11 words ('Same. Our son and daughter in law bought before engagement...')", "Maximum response length: approximately 80 words (in the response about the woman escaping her controlling husband)", "Frequently uses phrases: 'I am glad', 'I am happy', 'Congratulations', 'So glad to read'", "Common sentence starters: 'I am', 'So glad', 'Congratulations', 'Not to mention'", "Typically writes 2-4 sentences per response with occasional longer responses for complex situations", "Uses exclamation points frequently to convey enthusiasm and support", "Employs direct address and second-person perspective when offering encouragement", "Minimal use of complex punctuation, favoring periods and occasional commas"]}
|
[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for the way I reacted to my parents open relationship and no longer paying rent\n\nIts been over a week since I [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xnpygp/aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_parents_open/). Thank you guys for your Judgments and advice. I have blocked my parents on everything and have gone no contact. After just over a week I already feel like a new person without them in my lives. My boyfriend has been my rock through all this, I was a mess of tears and anger the first few days and he's the one who got me through it. Im currently staying with him (renting) but we have been looking for our own place together since the lease on the current place runs out soon. I went to my gp and got a mental health plan done up so I should be seeing a therapist soon, free of charge. Its not a huge update but Im doing a lot better in so little time from just cutting them out of my life, Im looking forward to the future.", "role": "ThrowRASelfishParent", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ThrowRASelfishParent\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_st4kfj9h\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1665067120.0, \"created_utc\": 1665067120.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"xx6vqu\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_xx6vqu\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 617, \"num_crossposts\": 0, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xx6vqu/update_aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_parents/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27468, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Its been over a week since I [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xnpygp/aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_parents_open/). Thank you guys for your Judgments and advice. I have blocked my parents on everything and have gone no contact. After just over a week I already feel like a new person without them in my lives. My boyfriend has been my rock through all this, I was a mess of tears and anger the first few days and he's the one who got me through it. Im currently staying with him (renting) but we have been looking for our own place together since the lease on the current place runs out soon. I went to my gp and got a mental health plan done up so I should be seeing a therapist soon, free of charge. Its not a huge update but Im doing a lot better in so little time from just cutting them out of my life, Im looking forward to the future.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Its been over a week since I <a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xnpygp/aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_parents_open/\\\">posted</a>. Thank you guys for your Judgments and advice. I have blocked my parents on everything and have gone no contact. After just over a week I already feel like a new person without them in my lives. My boyfriend has been my rock through all this, I was a mess of tears and anger the first few days and he's the one who got me through it. Im currently staying with him (renting) but we have been looking for our own place together since the lease on the current place runs out soon. I went to my gp and got a mental health plan done up so I should be seeing a therapist soon, free of charge. Its not a huge update but Im doing a lot better in so little time from just cutting them out of my life, Im looking forward to the future.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_xx6vqu\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for the way I reacted to my parents open relationship and no longer paying rent\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27468, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.98, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xx6vqu/update_aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_parents/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e61120c73319d2df", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "370dff1d082fd6f9", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "So glad to read your update. \n\nKeep looking after yourself.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>So glad to read your update. </p>\n\n<p>Keep looking after yourself.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1665092221.0, "created_utc": 1665092221.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "irc0kmg", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_xx6vqu", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_irc0kmg", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_xx6vqu", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xx6vqu/update_aita_for_the_way_i_reacted_to_my_parents/irc0kmg/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1, "user_reports": []}
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How dare you. Wanting universal healthcare like every other developed nation means that you're cool with Stalin wiping out millions of his own people. Don't you understand that we can't have a strong social safety net without literally living under a communist regime??? (/s)
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jkzyqj
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b84eea7ba50dccff
| 1,604,086,472
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{"demographics": {"age group": "30s-40s (based on career trajectory as consultant, having spent 8 years in Deep South, moving across country as adult to settle near mother, and established professional career)", "gender": "Female (references to boyfriend, shaving legs, 'my boobs are legendary' note, being a 'mama's girl')", "location": "United States, relocated from Deep South to be near mother's neighborhood", "occupation": "Consultant (explicitly states 'consultants (me)' when discussing liberal arts degree outcomes)", "nationality": "American (references to Deep South, American political discourse, moving 'across the country')", "other": "In a relationship with boyfriend; has therapist; describes self as 'absolute slob' and 'biggest mama's girl ever'; has siblings (brother and sister); has pale skin that 'glows in the dark'; history/liberal arts degree background"}, "interests": ["Gender dynamics and workplace equality, particularly women's career advancement and pay equity", "Financial independence and autonomy in relationships, especially critiquing financial control dynamics", "Feminist theory and practice, with focus on distinguishing authentic feminism from performative allyship", "Relationship power dynamics and identifying controlling or manipulative behavior patterns", "Liberal arts education value and career outcomes, defending non-STEM degree paths", "Political progressivism, particularly healthcare policy and social safety nets", "Diversity, equity, and inclusion in corporate settings", "Personal boundaries and autonomy, especially regarding privacy and personal space", "Networking and professional development strategies for women", "Critiquing toxic masculinity and male insecurity around female success"], "values": ["Strong feminist principles with skepticism toward 'self-professed male feminists' who 'always show their true colors'", "Financial equality and independence in relationships, critiquing partners who 'control' rather than 'manage' finances jointly", "Authenticity over performative progressivism, noting how 'feminist households' can actually devalue traditionally feminine things", "Recognition that networking and taking initiative are legitimate career advancement strategies, not 'cheating the system'", "Belief in universal healthcare and strong social safety nets, using sarcasm to mock conflation of social programs with authoritarianism", "Personal autonomy and privacy rights, supporting boundary-setting against intrusive behavior", "Skepticism of conditional support that only exists 'as long as HE is more successful'", "Recognition of systemic inequalities while rejecting the notion that addressing them constitutes unfair advantage", "Value of diverse educational backgrounds and transferable skills over narrow technical training", "Importance of calling out passive-aggressive and belittling behavior in relationships"], "communication": ["Uses sophisticated sarcasm and irony to critique problematic viewpoints, as in 'How dare you. Wanting universal healthcare like every other developed nation means that you're cool with Stalin wiping out millions'", "Employs italics strategically for emphasis on key words like '*I* am frugal' and '*think* you need *three times that*'", "Writes in detailed, analytical paragraphs that build arguments progressively with supporting evidence", "Shares personal anecdotes to illustrate broader points, such as the tick story or moving near her mother", "Uses quotation marks to mock or highlight problematic language patterns ('I'm broke story', 'cheated the system')", "Incorporates parenthetical asides for humor or additional context, often marked with '(/s)' for sarcasm", "Employs conversational yet intellectually rigorous tone, phrases like 'I just get the sense that' and 'It sounds like'", "Creates hypothetical dialogue to illustrate sexist patterns: 'Just because I can't name a single woman in a position of power whom I respect does NOT mean I'm biased'", "Balances humor with serious social commentary, mixing lighthearted observations with pointed critiques", "Uses specific, concrete examples to support broader analytical points about relationship dynamics"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 30-50 words for brief quips to 200+ words for detailed analytical responses", "Frequently uses phrases like 'I feel confident,' 'I just get the sense that,' 'It sounds like,' and 'I'm getting the vibe'", "Employs italics multiple times per response for emphasis on specific words or phrases", "Uses parenthetical statements regularly, approximately 1-3 per longer response", "Incorporates quotation marks frequently to highlight or mock specific phrases from original posts", "Average sentence length varies significantly, mixing short punchy statements with complex compound sentences", "Most frequent themes include 'financial control,' 'feminist/feminism,' 'women/female,' 'career/professional,' and 'relationship dynamics'", "Uses ellipses frequently for trailing thoughts or emphasis ('I guess I'll allow it...' 'Or that one.. repeat as needed')", "Employs rhetorical questions strategically to highlight absurdity or contradictions in others' positions"]}
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Now the coach is mad at me for bringing politics into the gym. \n\nI told my coach that he is bringing politics into the gym by allowing a guy to walk around with a swastika on his arm. Some guys from the class are behind me, some think I am making a big deal out of it \n\nAITA for refusing to roll with a Nazi?\n\nEdit for clarification: Not in the USA. Where I come from (Europe) there are still Nazi sympathisers - a minority but a vocal minority. Also you can easily roll with a long sleeved rash guard, the climate here allows it no need for no sleeves.", "role": "NotTrainingWithNazis", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NotTrainingWithNazis\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8oqwmu4v\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1604075183.0, \"created_utc\": 1604075183.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1604082738.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jkzyqj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jkzyqj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 603, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jkzyqj/aita_for_refusing_to_train_with_a_nazi/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24521, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"So I practice BJJ for a couple of years, mostly attendings classes that require a Gi. This means that our bodies are pretty much covered (this is important).\\n\\nA new dude has joined our gym recently - I saw him in a class but did not roll with him. Last week I attended a no Gi class and the coach pairs me up with new guy. New guy wears a sleeveless rash guard, lots of tattoos on both arms and legs. I look at this tattoos and there is a big black swastika on his arm. As I take a closer look there is also the SS symbol - the one that looks like thunder bolts. Some other symbols here and there as well like the Celtic Cross.\\n\\nI tell my coach that I want to be paired up with someone else. Coach finds me a new partner but after the class asks me what is wrong. I tell him that the guy has lots of Nazi tattoos and I don't roll with Nazis. Now the coach is mad at me for bringing politics into the gym. \\n\\nI told my coach that he is bringing politics into the gym by allowing a guy to walk around with a swastika on his arm. Some guys from the class are behind me, some think I am making a big deal out of it \\n\\nAITA for refusing to roll with a Nazi?\\n\\nEdit for clarification: Not in the USA. Where I come from (Europe) there are still Nazi sympathisers - a minority but a vocal minority. Also you can easily roll with a long sleeved rash guard, the climate here allows it no need for no sleeves.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>So I practice BJJ for a couple of years, mostly attendings classes that require a Gi. This means that our bodies are pretty much covered (this is important).</p>\\n\\n<p>A new dude has joined our gym recently - I saw him in a class but did not roll with him. Last week I attended a no Gi class and the coach pairs me up with new guy. New guy wears a sleeveless rash guard, lots of tattoos on both arms and legs. I look at this tattoos and there is a big black swastika on his arm. As I take a closer look there is also the SS symbol - the one that looks like thunder bolts. Some other symbols here and there as well like the Celtic Cross.</p>\\n\\n<p>I tell my coach that I want to be paired up with someone else. Coach finds me a new partner but after the class asks me what is wrong. I tell him that the guy has lots of Nazi tattoos and I don't roll with Nazis. Now the coach is mad at me for bringing politics into the gym. </p>\\n\\n<p>I told my coach that he is bringing politics into the gym by allowing a guy to walk around with a swastika on his arm. Some guys from the class are behind me, some think I am making a big deal out of it </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for refusing to roll with a Nazi?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit for clarification: Not in the USA. Where I come from (Europe) there are still Nazi sympathisers - a minority but a vocal minority. Also you can easily roll with a long sleeved rash guard, the climate here allows it no need for no sleeves.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jkzyqj\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for refusing to train with a Nazi?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24521, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.92, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jkzyqj/aita_for_refusing_to_train_with_a_nazi/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA I was paired up with a socialist at work, and told my boss to pair him with someone else. Dude had a hammer sickle tattoo, and a really poorly made Marx shirt. \nYou don't have to train with anybody you don't want to.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA I was paired up with a socialist at work, and told my boss to pair him with someone else. Dude had a hammer sickle tattoo, and a really poorly made Marx shirt. \\nYou don't have to train with anybody you don't want to.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA I was paired up with a socialist at work, and told my boss to pair him with someone else. Dude had a hammer sickle tattoo, and a really poorly made Marx shirt. \\nYou don't have to train with anybody you don't want to.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": true, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": \"comment score below threshold\", \"collapsed_reason_code\": \"LOW_SCORE\", \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1604081267.0, \"created_utc\": 1604081267.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gamg54p\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_jkzyqj\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gamg54p\", \"no_follow\": true, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_jkzyqj\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jkzyqj/aita_for_refusing_to_train_with_a_nazi/gamg54p/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": -98, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": -98, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Those examples aren't comparable. Not even close.", "role": "henscastle", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"henscastle\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5ckhaopv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Those examples aren't comparable. Not even close.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Those examples aren't comparable. Not even close.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1604083019.0, \"created_utc\": 1604083019.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gamjnz4\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_jkzyqj\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gamjnz4\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gamg54p\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jkzyqj/aita_for_refusing_to_train_with_a_nazi/gamjnz4/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 57, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 57, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b84eea7ba50dccff", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "be3cac082339c338", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "How dare you. Wanting universal healthcare like every other developed nation means that you're cool with Stalin wiping out millions of his own people. Don't you understand that we can't have a strong social safety net without literally living under a communist regime??? (/s)", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>How dare you. Wanting universal healthcare like every other developed nation means that you're cool with Stalin wiping out millions of his own people. Don't you understand that we can't have a strong social safety net without literally living under a communist regime??? (/s)</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1604086472.0, "created_utc": 1604086472.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gamqgqb", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jkzyqj", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gamqgqb", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gamjnz4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jkzyqj/aita_for_refusing_to_train_with_a_nazi/gamqgqb/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 29, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 29, "user_reports": []}
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That's what I was thinking -- does she think she "insulted" op? Some people don't think being fat is negative or consider it an insult to mention it. She didn't call op a fat worthless pig or a disgusting whale or something. She called her a "bigger woman" in the context of her husband taking care of the family with his cooking.
I have fat friends who call themselves fat and hate euphemisms like overweight, fluffy, etc. They're fat which is a neutral descriptor. It took me a while to not feel like I was insulting them. This kid might have been raised with this mindset.
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ze4qw3
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206581d7fee844b2
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| 6
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{"demographics": {"age group": "30s-40s", "gender": "Female", "location": "United States", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Vegan for 10+ years (since approximately 2010); has experience with therapy and mental health discussions; has had past experiences with problematic landlords and housing situations"}, "interests": ["Veganism and plant-based diets, as evidenced by 'I've been avoiding them needlessly for ten years!' regarding Skittles' vegan status", "Food ingredients and product composition, shown by knowledge that 'Starbursts do [have gelatin]' and tracking changes in food formulations", "Interpersonal relationship dynamics and social conflicts, demonstrated through detailed engagement with multiple AITA scenarios", "Psychology and personality disorders, mentioning 'Someone who's been snookered by a person with a personality disorder who is incredibly charming'", "Tenant rights and housing issues, sharing personal experience with 'Landlord had maintenance men coming into our house at 8am by climbing in the window'", "Social awkwardness and neurodiversity, discussing how 'does she think she \"insulted\" op? Some people don't think being fat is negative'", "Body positivity and fat acceptance, noting 'I have fat friends who call themselves fat and hate euphemisms like overweight, fluffy, etc.'", "Therapy and mental health treatment, sharing story about 'An ex friend of mine said she was thinking of dumping her therapist'"], "values": ["Personal boundaries and privacy rights, stating 'During a time where there had been a rash of a man breaking into houses through windows and raping women'", "Authenticity over performative behavior, noting 'People who get too high to function at social events are usually boring'", "Recognition of manipulative personalities, observing 'Someone who's been snookered by a person with a personality disorder who is incredibly charming when you first meet them'", "Skepticism toward validation-seeking behavior, explaining 'Some people go to therapy because they want validation, and some bad therapists will give it to them'", "Understanding of diverse perspectives on body image, noting 'Some people don't think being fat is negative or consider it an insult to mention it'", "Empathy for social awkwardness, suggesting 'This kid might have been raised with this mindset' regarding unintentional social faux pas", "Practical problem-solving over empty gestures, sarcastically noting 'This man gonna go to the grocery store for the \"replacement\" cinnamon rolls but he's never been to the grocery store'", "Accountability in relationships, criticizing someone who 'had cheated on him and asked for a divorce' then complained about therapy suggestions"], "communication": ["Uses personal anecdotes to illustrate points, such as 'Same, in a house I lived in years ago' and 'An ex friend of mine'", "Employs sarcasm and humor effectively, writing 'This man gonna go to the grocery store...doesn't know where anything is so he buys brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts instead'", "Writes in conversational, accessible language with phrases like 'Ahhh apparently' and 'I thought'", "Provides nuanced social commentary, explaining 'She didn't call op a fat worthless pig or a disgusting whale or something. She called her a \"bigger woman\"'", "Shares factual corrections when appropriate, noting 'Skittles used to but it was removed in 2010'", "Uses quotation marks for emphasis and to highlight specific phrases or concepts", "Balances brevity with detail depending on context, from 8-word responses to 80+ word explanations", "Demonstrates self-awareness and reflection, admitting 'I've been avoiding them needlessly for ten years!'", "Employs rhetorical questions and hypothetical scenarios to make points", "Uses specific examples and concrete details rather than abstract generalizations"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-60 words, with range from 8 words minimum to 100+ words maximum", "Frequently uses first-person perspective with phrases like 'I thought,' 'I have,' 'I was'", "Common phrases include 'Some people,' 'This is what,' and conditional structures with 'if/then'", "Employs parenthetical asides and clarifications regularly, such as '(since approximately 2010)' and '(which isn't true, doctor said she isn't)'", "Uses both simple declarative sentences and complex compound-complex structures", "Frequently incorporates direct quotes from contexts being discussed", "Tends to provide specific examples and concrete scenarios rather than abstract statements", "Uses colloquial language and contractions naturally ('gonna,' 'doesn't,' 'I've')"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for banishing my teenage daughter's friend from our house because she made fun of my weight?\n\nI (37f) have two kids with my husband (41m); a 14-year-old daughter and a 10 year-old son.\n\nOur daughter has always been a little socially awkward to the point that we've had her tested since we suspected her of being on the spectrum. Turns out she isn't on the spectrum; she's just a natural introvert.\n\nHowever, this year in school we were thrilled when our daughter made a new friend her age since that is an area in which she struggles. Long story short she recently invited her new friend over (with our aproval) to have dinner at our house and then spend the night.\n\nSo, my daughter's friend came over. My husband is usually the cook in the family and this night was no exception; he made us all a really nice meal. During the course of said meal I asked my daughter's friend; \"Are you enjoying the food?\" She responded \"Yes! \\[Your husband\\] is a great cook! No wonder you've ended up a bigger woman.\"\n\nThe room got quiet for several moments. My husband tried to laugh it off and change the subject but I wasn't having it. The girl had just leveled a completely uncalled-for insult at me. My daughter's friend seemed to realize that she'd messed up but she didn't say anything else. We finished an awkward dinner in mostly silence and my daughter's friend did stay the night.\n\nThis was a couple of months ago. Recently my daughter asked if she could have her friend back over and I told her \"Sure; if she's going to apologize to me.\" When our daughter asked what I meant I reminded her of what she'd said. My daughter responded that it was over and she didn't want to bring it up again.\n\nShe then went to her father and asked. He said \"sure\" but she then told him what I'd said. He came to me and said: \"\\[Daughter's friend\\] just felt awkward and tried to make a joke. It didn't land. For the sake of our daughter can't you just let it go?\"\n\nYes, I could, but the thing is that I just want an apology from the girl. I need to see that she understands how rude she was before I can get on board with her and myy daughter hanging out. My husband says that I am being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14 year-old, especially since that girl is such a good friend of our daughter. I think it's weird that I'm still waiting for an apology from that same girl. Seriously. That's all I need. I just need to know that any friend of my daughter is willing to own up to her screw ups.", "role": "Effective-Weekend-97", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Effective-Weekend-97\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_usnyeptk\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1670327919.0, \"created_utc\": 1670327919.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1670328464.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ze4qw3\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#b8001f\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"ass\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"90fe04ea-b1cc-11e3-a793-12313d21c20d\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Asshole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 9318, \"num_crossposts\": 8, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28177, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I (37f) have two kids with my husband (41m); a 14-year-old daughter and a 10 year-old son.\\n\\nOur daughter has always been a little socially awkward to the point that we've had her tested since we suspected her of being on the spectrum. Turns out she isn't on the spectrum; she's just a natural introvert.\\n\\nHowever, this year in school we were thrilled when our daughter made a new friend her age since that is an area in which she struggles. Long story short she recently invited her new friend over (with our aproval) to have dinner at our house and then spend the night.\\n\\nSo, my daughter's friend came over. My husband is usually the cook in the family and this night was no exception; he made us all a really nice meal. During the course of said meal I asked my daughter's friend; \\\"Are you enjoying the food?\\\" She responded \\\"Yes! \\\\[Your husband\\\\] is a great cook! No wonder you've ended up a bigger woman.\\\"\\n\\nThe room got quiet for several moments. My husband tried to laugh it off and change the subject but I wasn't having it. The girl had just leveled a completely uncalled-for insult at me. My daughter's friend seemed to realize that she'd messed up but she didn't say anything else. We finished an awkward dinner in mostly silence and my daughter's friend did stay the night.\\n\\nThis was a couple of months ago. Recently my daughter asked if she could have her friend back over and I told her \\\"Sure; if she's going to apologize to me.\\\" When our daughter asked what I meant I reminded her of what she'd said. My daughter responded that it was over and she didn't want to bring it up again.\\n\\nShe then went to her father and asked. He said \\\"sure\\\" but she then told him what I'd said. He came to me and said: \\\"\\\\[Daughter's friend\\\\] just felt awkward and tried to make a joke. It didn't land. For the sake of our daughter can't you just let it go?\\\"\\n\\nYes, I could, but the thing is that I just want an apology from the girl. I need to see that she understands how rude she was before I can get on board with her and myy daughter hanging out. My husband says that I am being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14 year-old, especially since that girl is such a good friend of our daughter. I think it's weird that I'm still waiting for an apology from that same girl. Seriously. That's all I need. I just need to know that any friend of my daughter is willing to own up to her screw ups.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (37f) have two kids with my husband (41m); a 14-year-old daughter and a 10 year-old son.</p>\\n\\n<p>Our daughter has always been a little socially awkward to the point that we've had her tested since we suspected her of being on the spectrum. Turns out she isn't on the spectrum; she's just a natural introvert.</p>\\n\\n<p>However, this year in school we were thrilled when our daughter made a new friend her age since that is an area in which she struggles. Long story short she recently invited her new friend over (with our aproval) to have dinner at our house and then spend the night.</p>\\n\\n<p>So, my daughter's friend came over. My husband is usually the cook in the family and this night was no exception; he made us all a really nice meal. During the course of said meal I asked my daughter's friend; "Are you enjoying the food?" She responded "Yes! [Your husband] is a great cook! No wonder you've ended up a bigger woman."</p>\\n\\n<p>The room got quiet for several moments. My husband tried to laugh it off and change the subject but I wasn't having it. The girl had just leveled a completely uncalled-for insult at me. My daughter's friend seemed to realize that she'd messed up but she didn't say anything else. We finished an awkward dinner in mostly silence and my daughter's friend did stay the night.</p>\\n\\n<p>This was a couple of months ago. Recently my daughter asked if she could have her friend back over and I told her "Sure; if she's going to apologize to me." When our daughter asked what I meant I reminded her of what she'd said. My daughter responded that it was over and she didn't want to bring it up again.</p>\\n\\n<p>She then went to her father and asked. He said "sure" but she then told him what I'd said. He came to me and said: "[Daughter's friend] just felt awkward and tried to make a joke. It didn't land. For the sake of our daughter can't you just let it go?"</p>\\n\\n<p>Yes, I could, but the thing is that I just want an apology from the girl. I need to see that she understands how rude she was before I can get on board with her and myy daughter hanging out. My husband says that I am being weird for insisting on an apology from a 14 year-old, especially since that girl is such a good friend of our daughter. I think it's weird that I'm still waiting for an apology from that same girl. Seriously. That's all I need. I just need to know that any friend of my daughter is willing to own up to her screw ups.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for banishing my teenage daughter's friend from our house because she made fun of my weight?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28177, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.82, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "YTA. Did it ever occur to you that the reason this girl and your daughter \u201cclicked\u201d as friends is that they\u2019re *both* socially awkward? \n\nShe\u2019s a 14 year old kid. Even with the best social skills, they often put their foot in their mouths. Let it go. Don\u2019t ruin your daughter\u2019s friendship because your ego was hurt by one off hand comment.\n\n**ETA:** Thanks for all the awards, kind Redditors! I am also thrilled that so many of you like my username. And LMAO at whoever reported me to the Reddit Cares thing because of this comment. Have a great night/day, y\u2019all!", "role": "-QueefLatina-", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"-QueefLatina-\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [9]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4wortdmt\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"YTA. Did it ever occur to you that the reason this girl and your daughter \\u201cclicked\\u201d as friends is that they\\u2019re *both* socially awkward? \\n\\nShe\\u2019s a 14 year old kid. Even with the best social skills, they often put their foot in their mouths. Let it go. Don\\u2019t ruin your daughter\\u2019s friendship because your ego was hurt by one off hand comment.\\n\\n**ETA:** Thanks for all the awards, kind Redditors! I am also thrilled that so many of you like my username. And LMAO at whoever reported me to the Reddit Cares thing because of this comment. Have a great night/day, y\\u2019all!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>YTA. Did it ever occur to you that the reason this girl and your daughter \\u201cclicked\\u201d as friends is that they\\u2019re <em>both</em> socially awkward? </p>\\n\\n<p>She\\u2019s a 14 year old kid. Even with the best social skills, they often put their foot in their mouths. Let it go. Don\\u2019t ruin your daughter\\u2019s friendship because your ego was hurt by one off hand comment.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>ETA:</strong> Thanks for all the awards, kind Redditors! I am also thrilled that so many of you like my username. And LMAO at whoever reported me to the Reddit Cares thing because of this comment. Have a great night/day, y\\u2019all!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1670329985.0, \"created_utc\": 1670329985.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1670374387.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"iz4ibl9\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_iz4ibl9\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/iz4ibl9/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 87126, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 87126, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "This. YTA if you don\u2019t show this other awkward kid the same parental grace and gentle guidance you probably hope others will show toward your kid.", "role": "Head_Supermarket2955", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Head_Supermarket2955\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_t85sbeo9\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"This. YTA if you don\\u2019t show this other awkward kid the same parental grace and gentle guidance you probably hope others will show toward your kid.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This. YTA if you don\\u2019t show this other awkward kid the same parental grace and gentle guidance you probably hope others will show toward your kid.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1670331273.0, \"created_utc\": 1670331273.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"iz4kfcs\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_iz4kfcs\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_iz4ibl9\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/iz4kfcs/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 29252, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 29252, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Agreed wholeheartedly. \n\nYou should have acted like an adult and gently redirected. Have the kid back - if something happens again and it has a malicious tone then yeah, go all Gandalf on her. \n\nYou\u2019re just hurting your daughter by continuing to hold a grudge from a teenager. \n\nYTA.", "role": "Upset-Jellyfish1", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Upset-Jellyfish1\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5039h8q4\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Agreed wholeheartedly. \\n\\nYou should have acted like an adult and gently redirected. Have the kid back - if something happens again and it has a malicious tone then yeah, go all Gandalf on her. \\n\\nYou\\u2019re just hurting your daughter by continuing to hold a grudge from a teenager. \\n\\nYTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Agreed wholeheartedly. </p>\\n\\n<p>You should have acted like an adult and gently redirected. Have the kid back - if something happens again and it has a malicious tone then yeah, go all Gandalf on her. </p>\\n\\n<p>You\\u2019re just hurting your daughter by continuing to hold a grudge from a teenager. </p>\\n\\n<p>YTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1670333131.0, \"created_utc\": 1670333131.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"iz4nnyp\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_iz4nnyp\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_iz4kfcs\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/iz4nnyp/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 11592, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 11592, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Not even a 'matured teenager' so to speak, she's bloody 14 and if she is the same as ops daughter she was probably nervous as hell in a new house with new people having a lovely sit down dinner. \n\nThat can be intimidating as hell for anyone at any age. \n\nI remember when I was around 11/12 I turnt to my old man after he told me off for something and said \"hey shut up you're not my real dad!\", I had watched friends the night before and Chandler had said it so it was stuck in my head. When I saw my old mans face I was crushed. \n\n18 years later and I still think about that moment and it's probably gonna be no different for ops daughters friend. \n\nKids do and say stupid shit op, let it go. \n\nYTA.", "role": "LazinessPersonified", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"LazinessPersonified\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_d1pwv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Not even a 'matured teenager' so to speak, she's bloody 14 and if she is the same as ops daughter she was probably nervous as hell in a new house with new people having a lovely sit down dinner. \\n\\nThat can be intimidating as hell for anyone at any age. \\n\\nI remember when I was around 11/12 I turnt to my old man after he told me off for something and said \\\"hey shut up you're not my real dad!\\\", I had watched friends the night before and Chandler had said it so it was stuck in my head. When I saw my old mans face I was crushed. \\n\\n18 years later and I still think about that moment and it's probably gonna be no different for ops daughters friend. \\n\\nKids do and say stupid shit op, let it go. \\n\\nYTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Not even a 'matured teenager' so to speak, she's bloody 14 and if she is the same as ops daughter she was probably nervous as hell in a new house with new people having a lovely sit down dinner. </p>\\n\\n<p>That can be intimidating as hell for anyone at any age. </p>\\n\\n<p>I remember when I was around 11/12 I turnt to my old man after he told me off for something and said "hey shut up you're not my real dad!", I had watched friends the night before and Chandler had said it so it was stuck in my head. When I saw my old mans face I was crushed. </p>\\n\\n<p>18 years later and I still think about that moment and it's probably gonna be no different for ops daughters friend. </p>\\n\\n<p>Kids do and say stupid shit op, let it go. </p>\\n\\n<p>YTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1670334289.0, \"created_utc\": 1670334289.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1670335242.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"iz4ptcd\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_iz4ptcd\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_iz4nnyp\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/iz4ptcd/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 6193, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 6193, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Around OP's daughter's age, I was at a friend's house (we'll call her Jade) with another friend with the same name as me (\"Lisa\"). Jade's mom walked in \"Lisa, you're dad's here to get you.\" \n\nI automatically responded with \"But my dad shouldn't even know where I am!!\" \n\nAll 3 of them just stared at me dumbfounded until I realized and went red and quiet. \n\nIt wasn't even rude, but here I am at 30 and I still recall it occasionally and cringe from it. Teens, especially those of us who, like my ADHD self, are socially awkward, are just cringe sometimes. We mean nothing by it and we're just trying to figure out how to people. \n\nI've never thought maliciously about weights; growing up with plus size parents, weight isn't something you place value on so much. That said, I feel like the friend's comment is something I might have slipped and said at that age with a similar prompt. I didn't know what was offensive or why it would be so...", "role": "fantasynerd92", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"fantasynerd92\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_26yax6t\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Around OP's daughter's age, I was at a friend's house (we'll call her Jade) with another friend with the same name as me (\\\"Lisa\\\"). Jade's mom walked in \\\"Lisa, you're dad's here to get you.\\\" \\n\\nI automatically responded with \\\"But my dad shouldn't even know where I am!!\\\" \\n\\nAll 3 of them just stared at me dumbfounded until I realized and went red and quiet. \\n\\nIt wasn't even rude, but here I am at 30 and I still recall it occasionally and cringe from it. Teens, especially those of us who, like my ADHD self, are socially awkward, are just cringe sometimes. We mean nothing by it and we're just trying to figure out how to people. \\n\\nI've never thought maliciously about weights; growing up with plus size parents, weight isn't something you place value on so much. That said, I feel like the friend's comment is something I might have slipped and said at that age with a similar prompt. I didn't know what was offensive or why it would be so...\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Around OP's daughter's age, I was at a friend's house (we'll call her Jade) with another friend with the same name as me ("Lisa"). Jade's mom walked in "Lisa, you're dad's here to get you." </p>\\n\\n<p>I automatically responded with "But my dad shouldn't even know where I am!!" </p>\\n\\n<p>All 3 of them just stared at me dumbfounded until I realized and went red and quiet. </p>\\n\\n<p>It wasn't even rude, but here I am at 30 and I still recall it occasionally and cringe from it. Teens, especially those of us who, like my ADHD self, are socially awkward, are just cringe sometimes. We mean nothing by it and we're just trying to figure out how to people. </p>\\n\\n<p>I've never thought maliciously about weights; growing up with plus size parents, weight isn't something you place value on so much. That said, I feel like the friend's comment is something I might have slipped and said at that age with a similar prompt. I didn't know what was offensive or why it would be so...</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1670335685.0, \"created_utc\": 1670335685.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"iz4skjc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ze4qw3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_iz4skjc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_iz4ptcd\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/iz4skjc/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3737, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3737, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "206581d7fee844b2", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "6ae320353eaa21e6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That's what I was thinking -- does she think she \"insulted\" op? Some people don't think being fat is negative or consider it an insult to mention it. She didn't call op a fat worthless pig or a disgusting whale or something. She called her a \"bigger woman\" in the context of her husband taking care of the family with his cooking.\n\nI have fat friends who call themselves fat and hate euphemisms like overweight, fluffy, etc. They're fat which is a neutral descriptor. It took me a while to not feel like I was insulting them. This kid might have been raised with this mindset.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That's what I was thinking -- does she think she "insulted" op? Some people don't think being fat is negative or consider it an insult to mention it. She didn't call op a fat worthless pig or a disgusting whale or something. She called her a "bigger woman" in the context of her husband taking care of the family with his cooking.</p>\n\n<p>I have fat friends who call themselves fat and hate euphemisms like overweight, fluffy, etc. They're fat which is a neutral descriptor. It took me a while to not feel like I was insulting them. This kid might have been raised with this mindset.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1670343868.0, "created_utc": 1670343868.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "iz5bhcy", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ze4qw3", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_iz5bhcy", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_iz4skjc", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ze4qw3/aita_for_banishing_my_teenage_daughters_friend/iz5bhcy/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 33, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 33, "user_reports": []}
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I concur. You may have to tell your daughter that she won't be allowed if if she doesn't dress up.
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il24rf
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03ebc55bd51bf28d
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{"demographics": {"age group": "35-50 (has multiple children, references evolving views over years, discusses parenting decisions spanning years)", "gender": "Male (references 'My wife and I' and parenting decisions as father)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Possibly legal or professional background (demonstrates knowledge of legal processes, estate law, defamation)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married with at least two children; raised in religious household but became 'more irreligious over the years'; has experience with Catholic baptism processes"}, "interests": ["Legal matters and consequences, particularly family law, as seen in detailed discussion of defamation cases and custody arrangements", "Religious institutional practices and boundaries, especially Catholic Church procedures around baptism", "Family dynamics and intergenerational conflicts, frequently commenting on parent-child and in-law relationships", "Property rights and easements, noting 'letting them cut through your land creates an easement through it, that can cause your property to lose value'", "Estate planning and inheritance disputes, providing detailed analysis of will contests and fiduciary responsibilities", "Consequences of deception and betrayal in relationships, particularly around trust violations", "Parenting decisions and autonomy, defending parents' rights to make choices about their children", "Social dynamics and power imbalances in family structures"], "values": ["Strong emphasis on personal boundaries and respecting others' autonomy, stating 'if you can't convince people that you are right, and to work with you, then it almost doesn't matter'", "Belief in accountability and consequences for actions, noting 'if they can't afford the rent on their own, then they really shouldn't have been so weird and creepy'", "Skepticism toward religious overreach into personal decisions, criticizing those who impose religious views on others", "Protection of vulnerable parties, especially children, from manipulation or harm", "Disapproval of deception and concealment, comparing baptism concealment to 'the same amount of work as needed to conceal an affair'", "Support for individual choice in major life decisions, defending parents' rights against interference", "Belief that actions reveal character, stating about racist comments: 'he showed me his worst self'", "Value placed on self-reflection and empathy, noting incels have 'paralyzing inability to reflect inwards lest they hate what they see'", "Pragmatic approach to conflict resolution, suggesting practical solutions like third-party fiduciaries", "Recognition that social skills and relationships matter in life success, not just intelligence"], "communication": ["Uses clear, direct language with minimal emotional embellishment, as in 'That defamation case is going to backfire on the ex wife'", "Frequently provides legal or practical analysis, such as explaining in terrorem clauses and estate law", "Employs occasional dry humor, like the intentional age miscalculation joke about being '69' instead of '59'", "Tends to anticipate consequences and think through scenarios logically before others do", "Often begins responses with strong declarative statements like 'NTA' or direct assertions", "Writes in varied lengths from brief one-sentence observations to detailed multi-paragraph analyses", "Uses specific examples and quotes from original posts to support arguments", "Demonstrates knowledge of technical terminology (fiduciary, in terrorem clause, easement, defamation)", "Maintains analytical rather than emotional tone even when discussing sensitive topics", "Frequently identifies underlying motivations or hidden agendas, such as 'Mom's getting older, and she needs help caring for her'"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-80 words, with range from 15 words to 150+ words", "Frequently uses legal terminology: 'fiduciary,' 'in terrorem clause,' 'easement,' 'defamation,' 'third party defendant'", "Common phrases include 'I think,' 'I would,' 'I don't,' showing personal opinion framing", "Uses conditional language to explore scenarios: 'if,' 'would,' 'could,' 'should'", "Employs direct quotations from original posts to anchor arguments in evidence", "Sentence structure varies from short declarative statements to complex compound sentences", "Occasionally uses emphatic language like 'completely lost her fucking mind' for strong disapproval", "References personal experience sparingly but specifically when relevant to topic"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for forcing my tomboy daughter to wear formal clothing?\n\nHi all. My family is Indian-American, but I like to think I am pretty progressive. I (40F) have a son (16M) and a daughter (15F). My daughter has started to become a tomboy over the last 2 years, despises feminine clothing and style. While it has definitely been an adjustment in my perception, I have always tried to be as supportive as possible, and have let her pick her own clothings, only eliminating anything that was graphic or inappropriate.\n\nHowever, my niece was getting married in a traditional, big Indian wedding. While generally all the girls would be wearing formal lehangas (Indian traditional dresses), I dropped it after asking my daughter if she wanted to wear that and she said no (only mentioned it once because she really looks up to my niece and I did not want her to feel left out). When I asked her what she wanted to wear, she said that should wear a t-shirt and slacks.\n\nBut, I insisted that she wear a formal clothing of her choice, whether it was a suit, a dress or traditional indian clothing. This was black tie event. I was making my son wear a formal suit. Everyone was going to be dressed to the nines. I was going to get my son a new suit tailored for the event, and I insisted that she come with and pick a fabric and suit style as well. It could be to her desire (as long as it was appropriate); like a very typical men's suit or feminine twist like what Zendaya wears.\n\nShe got angry and said I was constricting her expression. I think she will have to wear formal clothing in other points in her life, whether for work or other formal events. She can express herself however she wants but dressing appropriately for the occasion is a necessary skill. The wedding has been postponed for now, but I still want her to wear a formal outfit and she is still mad at me about this. AITA?\n\nEDIT: Wow, I did not expect this to blow up like this haha! Thank you for the comments and messages! While some of you have labeled me as the asshole, I think a lot of you are saying that I am not which is good to hear. But, I want to stress that I don't think my daughter is really the asshole (a little right now) but she is the sweetest little girl in the world (I might be biased haha). She is usually very respectful, gets excellent grades and works really hard. I am very proud of her.\n\nSome of you have mentioned there is an underlying problem that I am not seeing. I do not think my daughter is trans, but I think I have made it clear that its okay if she or anyone else is. She also generally seems pretty happy with her body; she is actually really fashionable and doesn't really wear baggy clothing or anything, but is more into \"streetwear.\" She is the one who showed me who Zendaya is! Are there additional signs I should be looking for or things I should be doing?\n\nI think she is at the stage in life where she knows everything, and I, her mom, knows nothing. She wants to rebel for something, but isn't really the type to rebel with something really bad (thank god), so she decided this is a justified area to rebel. She is also at home, and I haven't really allowed her to go out because of the current circumstances; so think she feels cooped up and now everything about me is annoying her.\n\nThat being said, a lot of you said to tell her she can't go to the wedding if she doesn't wear formal clothing, and I may be the asshole here, but SHE IS GOING. That is a thing I have decided to take a hard stance on. (1) because my daughter really, really wants to go! She loves her cousin and my family, and she is a really social person who would love weddings. Telling her not to go would hurt her I think and would be counterproductive in the longterm. (2) This is the first wedding in our family and the first time my kids will see a traditional Indian wedding. They have never seen one before, so I think its important that they learn and feel connected to our culture. (3) If she decides not to go as an act of rebellion, I know my daughter, and I know she will feel really, really sad afterwards.\n\nParenting is hard, and I was always a girly-girl and so were all the people around me, so this uncharted territory for me. Thank you to all of you for your kind words and encouragement.", "role": "amiwrong6321", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"amiwrong6321\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7xi9oki0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1599030571.0, \"created_utc\": 1599030571.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1599066936.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"il24rf\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_il24rf\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2079, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/il24rf/aita_for_forcing_my_tomboy_daughter_to_wear/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28051, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Hi all. My family is Indian-American, but I like to think I am pretty progressive. I (40F) have a son (16M) and a daughter (15F). My daughter has started to become a tomboy over the last 2 years, despises feminine clothing and style. While it has definitely been an adjustment in my perception, I have always tried to be as supportive as possible, and have let her pick her own clothings, only eliminating anything that was graphic or inappropriate.\\n\\nHowever, my niece was getting married in a traditional, big Indian wedding. While generally all the girls would be wearing formal lehangas (Indian traditional dresses), I dropped it after asking my daughter if she wanted to wear that and she said no (only mentioned it once because she really looks up to my niece and I did not want her to feel left out). When I asked her what she wanted to wear, she said that should wear a t-shirt and slacks.\\n\\nBut, I insisted that she wear a formal clothing of her choice, whether it was a suit, a dress or traditional indian clothing. This was black tie event. I was making my son wear a formal suit. Everyone was going to be dressed to the nines. I was going to get my son a new suit tailored for the event, and I insisted that she come with and pick a fabric and suit style as well. It could be to her desire (as long as it was appropriate); like a very typical men's suit or feminine twist like what Zendaya wears.\\n\\nShe got angry and said I was constricting her expression. I think she will have to wear formal clothing in other points in her life, whether for work or other formal events. She can express herself however she wants but dressing appropriately for the occasion is a necessary skill. The wedding has been postponed for now, but I still want her to wear a formal outfit and she is still mad at me about this. AITA?\\n\\nEDIT: Wow, I did not expect this to blow up like this haha! Thank you for the comments and messages! While some of you have labeled me as the asshole, I think a lot of you are saying that I am not which is good to hear. But, I want to stress that I don't think my daughter is really the asshole (a little right now) but she is the sweetest little girl in the world (I might be biased haha). She is usually very respectful, gets excellent grades and works really hard. I am very proud of her.\\n\\nSome of you have mentioned there is an underlying problem that I am not seeing. I do not think my daughter is trans, but I think I have made it clear that its okay if she or anyone else is. She also generally seems pretty happy with her body; she is actually really fashionable and doesn't really wear baggy clothing or anything, but is more into \\\"streetwear.\\\" She is the one who showed me who Zendaya is! Are there additional signs I should be looking for or things I should be doing?\\n\\nI think she is at the stage in life where she knows everything, and I, her mom, knows nothing. She wants to rebel for something, but isn't really the type to rebel with something really bad (thank god), so she decided this is a justified area to rebel. She is also at home, and I haven't really allowed her to go out because of the current circumstances; so think she feels cooped up and now everything about me is annoying her.\\n\\nThat being said, a lot of you said to tell her she can't go to the wedding if she doesn't wear formal clothing, and I may be the asshole here, but SHE IS GOING. That is a thing I have decided to take a hard stance on. (1) because my daughter really, really wants to go! She loves her cousin and my family, and she is a really social person who would love weddings. Telling her not to go would hurt her I think and would be counterproductive in the longterm. (2) This is the first wedding in our family and the first time my kids will see a traditional Indian wedding. They have never seen one before, so I think its important that they learn and feel connected to our culture. (3) If she decides not to go as an act of rebellion, I know my daughter, and I know she will feel really, really sad afterwards.\\n\\nParenting is hard, and I was always a girly-girl and so were all the people around me, so this uncharted territory for me. Thank you to all of you for your kind words and encouragement.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Hi all. My family is Indian-American, but I like to think I am pretty progressive. I (40F) have a son (16M) and a daughter (15F). My daughter has started to become a tomboy over the last 2 years, despises feminine clothing and style. While it has definitely been an adjustment in my perception, I have always tried to be as supportive as possible, and have let her pick her own clothings, only eliminating anything that was graphic or inappropriate.</p>\\n\\n<p>However, my niece was getting married in a traditional, big Indian wedding. While generally all the girls would be wearing formal lehangas (Indian traditional dresses), I dropped it after asking my daughter if she wanted to wear that and she said no (only mentioned it once because she really looks up to my niece and I did not want her to feel left out). When I asked her what she wanted to wear, she said that should wear a t-shirt and slacks.</p>\\n\\n<p>But, I insisted that she wear a formal clothing of her choice, whether it was a suit, a dress or traditional indian clothing. This was black tie event. I was making my son wear a formal suit. Everyone was going to be dressed to the nines. I was going to get my son a new suit tailored for the event, and I insisted that she come with and pick a fabric and suit style as well. It could be to her desire (as long as it was appropriate); like a very typical men's suit or feminine twist like what Zendaya wears.</p>\\n\\n<p>She got angry and said I was constricting her expression. I think she will have to wear formal clothing in other points in her life, whether for work or other formal events. She can express herself however she wants but dressing appropriately for the occasion is a necessary skill. The wedding has been postponed for now, but I still want her to wear a formal outfit and she is still mad at me about this. AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT: Wow, I did not expect this to blow up like this haha! Thank you for the comments and messages! While some of you have labeled me as the asshole, I think a lot of you are saying that I am not which is good to hear. But, I want to stress that I don't think my daughter is really the asshole (a little right now) but she is the sweetest little girl in the world (I might be biased haha). She is usually very respectful, gets excellent grades and works really hard. I am very proud of her.</p>\\n\\n<p>Some of you have mentioned there is an underlying problem that I am not seeing. I do not think my daughter is trans, but I think I have made it clear that its okay if she or anyone else is. She also generally seems pretty happy with her body; she is actually really fashionable and doesn't really wear baggy clothing or anything, but is more into "streetwear." She is the one who showed me who Zendaya is! Are there additional signs I should be looking for or things I should be doing?</p>\\n\\n<p>I think she is at the stage in life where she knows everything, and I, her mom, knows nothing. She wants to rebel for something, but isn't really the type to rebel with something really bad (thank god), so she decided this is a justified area to rebel. She is also at home, and I haven't really allowed her to go out because of the current circumstances; so think she feels cooped up and now everything about me is annoying her.</p>\\n\\n<p>That being said, a lot of you said to tell her she can't go to the wedding if she doesn't wear formal clothing, and I may be the asshole here, but SHE IS GOING. That is a thing I have decided to take a hard stance on. (1) because my daughter really, really wants to go! She loves her cousin and my family, and she is a really social person who would love weddings. Telling her not to go would hurt her I think and would be counterproductive in the longterm. (2) This is the first wedding in our family and the first time my kids will see a traditional Indian wedding. They have never seen one before, so I think its important that they learn and feel connected to our culture. (3) If she decides not to go as an act of rebellion, I know my daughter, and I know she will feel really, really sad afterwards.</p>\\n\\n<p>Parenting is hard, and I was always a girly-girl and so were all the people around me, so this uncharted territory for me. Thank you to all of you for your kind words and encouragement.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_il24rf\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for forcing my tomboy daughter to wear formal clothing?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28051, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/il24rf/aita_for_forcing_my_tomboy_daughter_to_wear/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You even gave her the choice of what type of formal wear to wear. It's extremely disrespectful to show up to a wedding in a tshirt", "role": "SonicPetrichor", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SonicPetrichor\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [9]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_vzcb8\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You even gave her the choice of what type of formal wear to wear. It's extremely disrespectful to show up to a wedding in a tshirt\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You even gave her the choice of what type of formal wear to wear. It's extremely disrespectful to show up to a wedding in a tshirt</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1599030794.0, \"created_utc\": 1599030794.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g3ox7bb\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_il24rf\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g3ox7bb\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_il24rf\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/il24rf/aita_for_forcing_my_tomboy_daughter_to_wear/g3ox7bb/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 38465, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 38465, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "03ebc55bd51bf28d", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "d1c2ac52b2ded8b0", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I concur. You may have to tell your daughter that she won't be allowed if if she doesn't dress up.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I concur. You may have to tell your daughter that she won't be allowed if if she doesn't dress up.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1599056505.0, "created_utc": 1599056505.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g3pzgz5", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_il24rf", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g3pzgz5", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g3ox7bb", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/il24rf/aita_for_forcing_my_tomboy_daughter_to_wear/g3pzgz5/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}
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> He and his wife haven’t accepted their position
[...quoted text...]
Right! They are GUESTS in OP's home, staying FOR FREE. I don't know how they manage to think that they would get anything but the guest room. And he called OP "entitled."
Why yes, bro, we do, in fact, hold the title to this house. Please leave.
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jeujp5
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4ab5592173538646
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflict resolution, particularly in AITA scenarios", "LGBTQ+ acceptance and parental support, as evidenced by emotional response to father making video for potentially LGBTQ+ son ('What a wonderful and loving gift')", "Child welfare and protection from exploitation, especially foster care abuse ('foster kids are fucking dogs or something')", "Property rights and personal boundaries in family contexts (castle wedding, greenhouse theft, bedroom disputes)", "Medical privacy and HIPAA violations ('The doctor ruined her own career. She knew better')", "Financial abuse and manipulation tactics in relationships (dowry demands, au pair exploitation)", "Custody arrangements and co-parenting conflicts (Lego theft case with detailed analysis)", "Wedding planning conflicts and family boundary violations (dress theft, castle venue disputes)", "Parenting advice and mother-daughter relationship dynamics (morning kitchen routine update)", "Pattern recognition in toxic family relationships and predicting future boundary violations", "Legal rights and consequences in family disputes (pressing charges, filing complaints)", "Practical problem-solving in domestic conflicts with emphasis on protecting vulnerable parties"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and consent ('you should be able to leave YOUR things in YOUR own home without someone taking them')", "Protection of vulnerable individuals, especially children and foster youth from exploitation", "Support for LGBTQ+ acceptance and unconditional parental love ('Knowing that his dad would have loved him no matter what can only be beneficial')", "Accountability for boundary violations ('The doctor ruined her own career. She knew better. There's 0% chance for anyone in healthcare right now not to have HIPAA laws drilled into our brains')", "Recognition of manipulation and abuse patterns ('This time it's her dress, next time it's the baby that he knows OP doesn't want exposed to their narcissism')", "Opposition to financial exploitation ('the government would pay HER! Unbelievable')", "Belief in enforcing consequences while allowing for redemption ('privileges could be restricted if OP sees them continuing to pick on the other kids')", "Emphasis on protecting children's futures and well-being over adult convenience", "Recognition that trust once broken reveals deeper character issues ('If your 20/20 hindsight tells you that you were a fool to trust your fiance')", "Support for setting firm boundaries with toxic family members ('Protect your computer, protect your binders and notes')", "Belief that people who violate boundaries are responsible for their own consequences, not the victims", "Value of practical solutions that address root causes rather than symptoms"], "communication": ["Direct, analytical style that identifies behavioral patterns ('I would be willing to bet that you're not the only one of her references who expressed concern')", "Frequently quotes specific text from original posts using '>' formatting or quotation marks to reference exact phrases", "Uses emphatic capitalization for emphasis ('GUESTS in OP's home, staying FOR FREE', 'YOUR things in YOUR own home')", "Provides detailed, practical advice with specific action steps ('Get a lap desk that allows you to sit on your bed, or whatever you need to do')", "Employs casual expressions and mild profanity for emphasis ('Jeez louise', 'Yep', 'Right!')", "Writes responses ranging from brief one-liners (8-15 words) to extensive multi-paragraph analyses (200+ words)", "Often predicts future consequences based on current behavior patterns ('next time it's the baby', 'it will never end')", "Structures longer responses with clear organization, sometimes using numbered points or logical progression", "Balances empathy with firm boundary-setting ('I know that you said that your room is too small... but honestly you need to make it work')", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity ('Why yes, bro, we do, in fact, hold the title to this house')", "Frequently adds 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgments and 'Edit:' additions to clarify points", "Demonstrates ability to see multiple perspectives while maintaining clear stance on right and wrong"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 80-120 words, with range from 8 words to 250+ words", "Frequently uses phrases: 'NTA', 'Yep', 'Right!', 'Jeez louise', 'I would be willing to bet'", "Common sentence starters: 'I would', 'The thing is', 'Honestly', 'Seriously', 'Right!'", "Uses quotation formatting ('>') in approximately 40% of responses to reference original text", "Employs emphatic capitalization in roughly 30% of responses for emphasis", "Tends to write 2-4 paragraph responses for complex situations, single paragraphs for simpler affirmations", "Frequently structures advice with conditional statements ('If X, then Y' format)", "Uses exclamation points regularly to convey emphasis or emotion (average 2-3 per response)", "Incorporates numbered lists or bullet-style formatting in longer analytical responses", "Shows consistent use of parenthetical asides to add context or examples"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for not giving my brother(and wife) the bigger room?\n\nMy brother\u2019s wife lost her job. Which has caused them to lose the house they were renting. My brother asked if he could stay with me. I talked to my bf and he said sure. \n\nSo, I told my brother yes, *BUT* he can\u2019t bring any of their furniture with them. We don\u2019t have any room for any of it. Our spare room has a bed and dressers in it already. He\u2019ll have to find a place to store their things. He wasn\u2019t happy about it, but said okay and that was that.\n\nWhen they started moving their clothes and whatnot in, they started complaining about how small the room was. I ignored it, because they were used to a rather large house. And I was sympathetic, because I know how it feels to go from having everything to nothing. I apologized and told them that this was the best we had. \n\nIssue:\n\nMy son was in his room, and started crying. I went in there to check on him, and my brother got MAD. I usually keep his door closed when he\u2019s napping(I have a baby monitor) and I guess my brother saw how \u2018large\u2019 his room is. \n\nIt\u2019s not big, at all. By any means. It\u2019s just bigger than the spare room. He asked \u201cwhy the hell\u201d we gave him the small room when we can just move our son into the spare room. \n\nI told him I\u2019m not moving my son and all his things into a different room when the spare bedroom is perfectly fine for the two of them as long as they don\u2019t try to move their entire house into one room. \n\nHe got mad. She got mad. They threw a fit. Then my brother asked why we don\u2019t move my son into our room. I told him that my son\u2019s crib won\u2019t fit in our room. And again, I\u2019m not moving him just to to accommodate them. \n\nThe last week or so has been very...tense. Small comments here. Cold shoulder there. Petty shoulder checks from his wife if we cross close together. I\u2019ve kept my mouth shut, because I love my brother, and I don\u2019t want to cause trouble. Plus, if they weren\u2019t so pissy(I guess is the word) they wouldn\u2019t be hard to live with. \n\nThey\u2019ve started to complain that my son\u2019s crying at night is keeping them awake. Which, I get, but he\u2019s a baby. He only wakes once a night to eat. And that\u2019s not even all the time. \n\nThis morning it all came to a head when my brother told me I should move into the spare room and let them have mine and my boyfriend\u2019s room so that they don\u2019t get woke up by the baby. \n\nWhen I told him no, he started yelling. Calling me selfish and entitled. Told me that I should let them have my room, because my son is \u201can annoying little shit that keeps them up every night, all night.\u201d\n\nWhere I may be the asshole:\n\nI saw red. Let me start this by saying I did NOT yell at my brother as he yelled at me. \n\nI said \u201cIf you can\u2019t appreciate the room you were given, you can go elsewhere. My boyfriend and I have been more than accommodating to you. You constantly complain. You\u2019re ungrateful and rude. Get over yourself or get out of my house.\u201d\n\nETA: I\u2019m asking if I\u2019m TA because my mother called and told me I\u2019m an asshole for not giving the married couple the big bedroom with the connected bathroom. \n\nAnd apparently my other siblings agree?\n\nETA2: They do not pay rent. My boyfriend and I own our home and don\u2019t pay anything on it. They pay the difference on the electricity bill and buy some of their own groceries. \n\nI do the majority of the cooking and all the cleaning.\n\nETA3: Boyfriend and I are going to talk about kicking them out tonight when he gets off work.\n\nETA4: I will update y\u2019all tomorrow \ud83d\ude02", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1603215840.0, \"created_utc\": 1603215840.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1603241922.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jeujp5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jeujp5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2655, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jeujp5/aita_for_not_giving_my_brotherand_wife_the_bigger/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24391, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My brother\\u2019s wife lost her job. Which has caused them to lose the house they were renting. My brother asked if he could stay with me. I talked to my bf and he said sure. \\n\\nSo, I told my brother yes, *BUT* he can\\u2019t bring any of their furniture with them. We don\\u2019t have any room for any of it. Our spare room has a bed and dressers in it already. He\\u2019ll have to find a place to store their things. He wasn\\u2019t happy about it, but said okay and that was that.\\n\\nWhen they started moving their clothes and whatnot in, they started complaining about how small the room was. I ignored it, because they were used to a rather large house. And I was sympathetic, because I know how it feels to go from having everything to nothing. I apologized and told them that this was the best we had. \\n\\nIssue:\\n\\nMy son was in his room, and started crying. I went in there to check on him, and my brother got MAD. I usually keep his door closed when he\\u2019s napping(I have a baby monitor) and I guess my brother saw how \\u2018large\\u2019 his room is. \\n\\nIt\\u2019s not big, at all. By any means. It\\u2019s just bigger than the spare room. He asked \\u201cwhy the hell\\u201d we gave him the small room when we can just move our son into the spare room. \\n\\nI told him I\\u2019m not moving my son and all his things into a different room when the spare bedroom is perfectly fine for the two of them as long as they don\\u2019t try to move their entire house into one room. \\n\\nHe got mad. She got mad. They threw a fit. Then my brother asked why we don\\u2019t move my son into our room. I told him that my son\\u2019s crib won\\u2019t fit in our room. And again, I\\u2019m not moving him just to to accommodate them. \\n\\nThe last week or so has been very...tense. Small comments here. Cold shoulder there. Petty shoulder checks from his wife if we cross close together. I\\u2019ve kept my mouth shut, because I love my brother, and I don\\u2019t want to cause trouble. Plus, if they weren\\u2019t so pissy(I guess is the word) they wouldn\\u2019t be hard to live with. \\n\\nThey\\u2019ve started to complain that my son\\u2019s crying at night is keeping them awake. Which, I get, but he\\u2019s a baby. He only wakes once a night to eat. And that\\u2019s not even all the time. \\n\\nThis morning it all came to a head when my brother told me I should move into the spare room and let them have mine and my boyfriend\\u2019s room so that they don\\u2019t get woke up by the baby. \\n\\nWhen I told him no, he started yelling. Calling me selfish and entitled. Told me that I should let them have my room, because my son is \\u201can annoying little shit that keeps them up every night, all night.\\u201d\\n\\nWhere I may be the asshole:\\n\\nI saw red. Let me start this by saying I did NOT yell at my brother as he yelled at me. \\n\\nI said \\u201cIf you can\\u2019t appreciate the room you were given, you can go elsewhere. My boyfriend and I have been more than accommodating to you. You constantly complain. You\\u2019re ungrateful and rude. Get over yourself or get out of my house.\\u201d\\n\\nETA: I\\u2019m asking if I\\u2019m TA because my mother called and told me I\\u2019m an asshole for not giving the married couple the big bedroom with the connected bathroom. \\n\\nAnd apparently my other siblings agree?\\n\\nETA2: They do not pay rent. My boyfriend and I own our home and don\\u2019t pay anything on it. They pay the difference on the electricity bill and buy some of their own groceries. \\n\\nI do the majority of the cooking and all the cleaning.\\n\\nETA3: Boyfriend and I are going to talk about kicking them out tonight when he gets off work.\\n\\nETA4: I will update y\\u2019all tomorrow \\ud83d\\ude02\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My brother\\u2019s wife lost her job. Which has caused them to lose the house they were renting. My brother asked if he could stay with me. I talked to my bf and he said sure. </p>\\n\\n<p>So, I told my brother yes, <em>BUT</em> he can\\u2019t bring any of their furniture with them. We don\\u2019t have any room for any of it. Our spare room has a bed and dressers in it already. He\\u2019ll have to find a place to store their things. He wasn\\u2019t happy about it, but said okay and that was that.</p>\\n\\n<p>When they started moving their clothes and whatnot in, they started complaining about how small the room was. I ignored it, because they were used to a rather large house. And I was sympathetic, because I know how it feels to go from having everything to nothing. I apologized and told them that this was the best we had. </p>\\n\\n<p>Issue:</p>\\n\\n<p>My son was in his room, and started crying. I went in there to check on him, and my brother got MAD. I usually keep his door closed when he\\u2019s napping(I have a baby monitor) and I guess my brother saw how \\u2018large\\u2019 his room is. </p>\\n\\n<p>It\\u2019s not big, at all. By any means. It\\u2019s just bigger than the spare room. He asked \\u201cwhy the hell\\u201d we gave him the small room when we can just move our son into the spare room. </p>\\n\\n<p>I told him I\\u2019m not moving my son and all his things into a different room when the spare bedroom is perfectly fine for the two of them as long as they don\\u2019t try to move their entire house into one room. </p>\\n\\n<p>He got mad. She got mad. They threw a fit. Then my brother asked why we don\\u2019t move my son into our room. I told him that my son\\u2019s crib won\\u2019t fit in our room. And again, I\\u2019m not moving him just to to accommodate them. </p>\\n\\n<p>The last week or so has been very...tense. Small comments here. Cold shoulder there. Petty shoulder checks from his wife if we cross close together. I\\u2019ve kept my mouth shut, because I love my brother, and I don\\u2019t want to cause trouble. Plus, if they weren\\u2019t so pissy(I guess is the word) they wouldn\\u2019t be hard to live with. </p>\\n\\n<p>They\\u2019ve started to complain that my son\\u2019s crying at night is keeping them awake. Which, I get, but he\\u2019s a baby. He only wakes once a night to eat. And that\\u2019s not even all the time. </p>\\n\\n<p>This morning it all came to a head when my brother told me I should move into the spare room and let them have mine and my boyfriend\\u2019s room so that they don\\u2019t get woke up by the baby. </p>\\n\\n<p>When I told him no, he started yelling. Calling me selfish and entitled. Told me that I should let them have my room, because my son is \\u201can annoying little shit that keeps them up every night, all night.\\u201d</p>\\n\\n<p>Where I may be the asshole:</p>\\n\\n<p>I saw red. Let me start this by saying I did NOT yell at my brother as he yelled at me. </p>\\n\\n<p>I said \\u201cIf you can\\u2019t appreciate the room you were given, you can go elsewhere. My boyfriend and I have been more than accommodating to you. You constantly complain. You\\u2019re ungrateful and rude. Get over yourself or get out of my house.\\u201d</p>\\n\\n<p>ETA: I\\u2019m asking if I\\u2019m TA because my mother called and told me I\\u2019m an asshole for not giving the married couple the big bedroom with the connected bathroom. </p>\\n\\n<p>And apparently my other siblings agree?</p>\\n\\n<p>ETA2: They do not pay rent. My boyfriend and I own our home and don\\u2019t pay anything on it. They pay the difference on the electricity bill and buy some of their own groceries. </p>\\n\\n<p>I do the majority of the cooking and all the cleaning.</p>\\n\\n<p>ETA3: Boyfriend and I are going to talk about kicking them out tonight when he gets off work.</p>\\n\\n<p>ETA4: I will update y\\u2019all tomorrow \\ud83d\\ude02</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jeujp5\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not giving my brother(and wife) the bigger room?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24391, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.94, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jeujp5/aita_for_not_giving_my_brotherand_wife_the_bigger/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Ahhh, the hypocrisy. \nYou\u2019re ARE entitled to your own things that you pay for in your own house. The \u201centitled\u201d label was misapplied in this story. \nIt is because you love your brother that you should ask him to move on ASAP. Living together is gonna destroy your relationship. He and his wife haven\u2019t accepted their position, and are trying to usurp yours. \nIn your shoes I\u2019d tell him that I love him with all my heart, but that I\u2019m worried that living together a moment longer will destroy too many relationships (uncle-nephew, BIL-BIL, etc). \nThe way he spoke about your son/his nephew is heartbreaking.", "role": "Feeling-better2day", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Feeling-better2day\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8a73s6ns\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Ahhh, the hypocrisy. \\nYou\\u2019re ARE entitled to your own things that you pay for in your own house. The \\u201centitled\\u201d label was misapplied in this story. \\nIt is because you love your brother that you should ask him to move on ASAP. Living together is gonna destroy your relationship. He and his wife haven\\u2019t accepted their position, and are trying to usurp yours. \\nIn your shoes I\\u2019d tell him that I love him with all my heart, but that I\\u2019m worried that living together a moment longer will destroy too many relationships (uncle-nephew, BIL-BIL, etc). \\nThe way he spoke about your son/his nephew is heartbreaking.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Ahhh, the hypocrisy. \\nYou\\u2019re ARE entitled to your own things that you pay for in your own house. The \\u201centitled\\u201d label was misapplied in this story. \\nIt is because you love your brother that you should ask him to move on ASAP. Living together is gonna destroy your relationship. He and his wife haven\\u2019t accepted their position, and are trying to usurp yours. \\nIn your shoes I\\u2019d tell him that I love him with all my heart, but that I\\u2019m worried that living together a moment longer will destroy too many relationships (uncle-nephew, BIL-BIL, etc). \\nThe way he spoke about your son/his nephew is heartbreaking.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1603221504.0, \"created_utc\": 1603221504.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g9gof9i\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_jeujp5\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g9gof9i\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_jeujp5\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jeujp5/aita_for_not_giving_my_brotherand_wife_the_bigger/g9gof9i/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 721, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 721, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4ab5592173538646", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e0e209cf73e91183", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> He and his wife haven\u2019t accepted their position\n\nRight! They are GUESTS in OP's home, staying FOR FREE. I don't know how they manage to think that they would get anything but the guest room. And he called OP \"entitled.\" \n\nWhy yes, bro, we do, in fact, hold the title to this house. Please leave.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>He and his wife haven\u2019t accepted their position</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>Right! They are GUESTS in OP's home, staying FOR FREE. I don't know how they manage to think that they would get anything but the guest room. And he called OP "entitled." </p>\n\n<p>Why yes, bro, we do, in fact, hold the title to this house. Please leave.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1603231251.0, "created_utc": 1603231251.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g9hbelw", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jeujp5", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g9hbelw", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g9gof9i", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jeujp5/aita_for_not_giving_my_brotherand_wife_the_bigger/g9hbelw/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 73, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 73, "user_reports": []}
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No shit. My brother came out to me 14 years ago, shortly after telling my mom, & having her react poorly (& completely out of character, she has always been an ally, working with the lgbtq+ community in our country on projects to change laws & regulations for inclusivity, has 2 gay brothers herself, & worked as a therapist for gay youth), he was obviously scared to come out to others, but he knew I had his back (the convo went something like "I'm gay", "Cool, I know, & I'm bi 🤷🏽♀️"), he just asked that I not tell our biodad, because if mom "the cool one" flipped out & had to be told off by myself, our stepdad, & younger sister, biodad who is a "man's man" & deeply steeped in the patriarchy & internalized misogyny, would for sure flip his lid & disown him.
I kept his secret for 7 long years, brother hadn't lived at home or even in the same country as our parents since before coming out. Not once did it occur to me to say anything to biodad, or anyone else connected to him. Any time the subject of brother's relationships came up, I dodged, diverted, & changed subject like a conversation ninja, even when dad finally asked straight up wtf was going on. Brother finally told dad what was up. By that point, mom was on board (& denying ever having said "he's too young to know what he wants!"), & pretty much everyone else knew, so dad was hurt that brother didn't come to him sooner, but otherwise super cool with his only penis having, last name passing, trophy child not being straight. Biodad reacted to the news the way we expected mom to react, with love & respect.
It was a happy ending, but not once did I think outing my brother to anyone would be a good idea. To the point where I checked with brother before talking to my children about it, because they had questions, & even tho we'd already covered same sex relationships in general, I didn't want to out him to them if he wasn't okay with it.
OP's sister is a bigoted asshole.
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{"demographics": {"age group": "30s-40s (based on having children ranging from toddler to tween years, and brother coming out 14 years ago)", "gender": "Female (based on context of giving birth and maternal references)", "location": "United States (immigrated to US, married to Midwesterner)", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "Latina/Hispanic (not Mexican, immigrated to US)", "other": "Married to white Midwesterner, identifies as bisexual, has multiple children including at least one tween, immigrant to the US"}, "interests": ["Cross-cultural family dynamics and navigating cultural differences in mixed families", "LGBTQ+ rights and coming out experiences, particularly supporting family members", "Parenting challenges across different developmental stages from infancy to tweens", "Children's autonomy and self-advocacy, especially regarding names and identity", "Family conflict resolution and setting boundaries with extended family", "Cultural heritage preservation and teaching children about their Latino/Hispanic background", "Standing against racism and discrimination, particularly regarding cultural names", "Child development and behavior patterns, especially assertiveness in young children", "Intergenerational trauma and its effects on families", "Employment law and workers' rights, particularly regarding family businesses", "Practical parenting advice about clothing choices and managing young children's messiness"], "values": ["Strongly values respecting people's chosen names and identities ('that's not his fucking name, & he knows we have his back')", "Committed LGBTQ+ ally who actively supports family members and identifies as bisexual", "Believes in children's right to assert boundaries and be respected by adults", "Values cultural heritage and actively works to preserve it in mixed-culture families", "Opposes racism and discrimination, particularly regarding cultural identity erasure", "Emphasizes the importance of seeking legal advice and not trusting family blindly in business matters", "Shows deep empathy for those dealing with psychological trauma from childhood experiences", "Values honesty and directness over politeness when addressing serious issues", "Believes parents should support their children's autonomy even when others call it disrespectful", "Prioritizes children's emotional well-being and stability over adult convenience", "Values self-awareness and willingness to learn from mistakes", "Believes in standing up to family members when they are wrong, even when it causes conflict"], "communication": ["Uses casual, conversational tone with frequent profanity for emphasis ('No shit', 'fuck', 'fucking', 'ass')", "Employs informal grammar, abbreviations, and internet slang ('coz', 'ya know', 'tho', 'wtf', 'lol')", "Frequently shares detailed personal anecdotes to illustrate points and provide context", "Uses parenthetical asides extensively to add clarification or additional thoughts", "Writes in stream-of-consciousness style with run-on sentences connected by commas and ampersands", "Demonstrates self-awareness and humor about own limitations ('I swear I'm not trying to be a dick')", "Asks genuine clarifying questions when uncertain rather than making assumptions", "Uses emojis occasionally to convey tone ('\ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffd\u200d\u2640\ufe0f')", "Employs emphatic language and repetition for effect ('Never. Shut up. Never.')", "Balances casual profanity with thoughtful, nuanced perspectives on complex issues", "Uses quotation marks and emphasis (<<<>>>) to highlight specific words or phrases", "Shows willingness to admit mistakes and thank others for corrections"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 5 words ('That's a fucking tragedy!') to 250+ words in detailed anecdotes", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words", "Frequently uses ampersands (&) instead of spelling out 'and'", "Common phrases include 'I know', 'my kid/children', 'my brother', 'my husband', 'in-laws', 'ya know'", "Liberal use of commas and ellipses to connect thoughts", "Sentence structure varies from short declarative statements to complex multi-clause sentences", "Frequent use of profanity (appears in approximately 60% of responses)", "Uses abbreviations like 'coz', 'tho', 'AF', 'lol' regularly", "Often begins responses with acknowledgment phrases ('No shit', 'Thanks', 'I know you're kidding')", "Employs parenthetical clarifications in most longer responses"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for being honest with my nephew about where I was for most of his life?\n\nOkay, let me just get right into this. I [27M] was kicked out at 16 because my older sister [37F] outed me to my parents as gay. They completely cut off all contact with me and I didn't see any of my family up until last year, when my father passed away and Mum had a change of heart and we started building a relationship again. When I was kicked out, my nephew was 5 years old. For the less maths savvy, that makes him 16 now. \n\nA couple of weeks ago, there was a family party in which he and I ended up spending most of the evening together, just chatting and stuff. He asked me why I wasn't around for so long and what happened between me and the fam to make them push me out like that. I asked him what his mum had told him and he just shrugged and said she won't talk about it. I told him he's maybe better having this conversation with her but he kept pressing until I eventually confessed I was cut off for being gay. He made a face and asked how my parents even found out. I told him I was outed by my sister, but that he must understand that this was a long time ago and that I don't think she'd do something like that *now* and that it was just a silly mistake on her part. He got a bit quiet and changed the subject. \n\nI got a phone call from my sister the next day furious that I'd told him and accusing me of trying to poison her not only against her but agaisnt the rest of the family too by \"pretending they're bad people\" and \"making up false homophobia accusations\". I explained to her that I didn't tell him anything but the truth because he asked and I think he's old enough to deserve honesty. She just kept yelling at me for dragging up the past and being a bad influence and has effectively banned me from hanging out with my nephew. I'm crushed because obviously I love the kid. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I have lied or refused to talk about it or lied to him or something?", "role": "gecking", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"gecking\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_47akug8h\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1563873449.0, \"created_utc\": 1563873449.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"cgq9zs\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2165, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27897, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Okay, let me just get right into this. I [27M] was kicked out at 16 because my older sister [37F] outed me to my parents as gay. They completely cut off all contact with me and I didn't see any of my family up until last year, when my father passed away and Mum had a change of heart and we started building a relationship again. When I was kicked out, my nephew was 5 years old. For the less maths savvy, that makes him 16 now. \\n\\nA couple of weeks ago, there was a family party in which he and I ended up spending most of the evening together, just chatting and stuff. He asked me why I wasn't around for so long and what happened between me and the fam to make them push me out like that. I asked him what his mum had told him and he just shrugged and said she won't talk about it. I told him he's maybe better having this conversation with her but he kept pressing until I eventually confessed I was cut off for being gay. He made a face and asked how my parents even found out. I told him I was outed by my sister, but that he must understand that this was a long time ago and that I don't think she'd do something like that *now* and that it was just a silly mistake on her part. He got a bit quiet and changed the subject. \\n\\nI got a phone call from my sister the next day furious that I'd told him and accusing me of trying to poison her not only against her but agaisnt the rest of the family too by \\\"pretending they're bad people\\\" and \\\"making up false homophobia accusations\\\". I explained to her that I didn't tell him anything but the truth because he asked and I think he's old enough to deserve honesty. She just kept yelling at me for dragging up the past and being a bad influence and has effectively banned me from hanging out with my nephew. I'm crushed because obviously I love the kid. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I have lied or refused to talk about it or lied to him or something?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Okay, let me just get right into this. I [27M] was kicked out at 16 because my older sister [37F] outed me to my parents as gay. They completely cut off all contact with me and I didn't see any of my family up until last year, when my father passed away and Mum had a change of heart and we started building a relationship again. When I was kicked out, my nephew was 5 years old. For the less maths savvy, that makes him 16 now. </p>\\n\\n<p>A couple of weeks ago, there was a family party in which he and I ended up spending most of the evening together, just chatting and stuff. He asked me why I wasn't around for so long and what happened between me and the fam to make them push me out like that. I asked him what his mum had told him and he just shrugged and said she won't talk about it. I told him he's maybe better having this conversation with her but he kept pressing until I eventually confessed I was cut off for being gay. He made a face and asked how my parents even found out. I told him I was outed by my sister, but that he must understand that this was a long time ago and that I don't think she'd do something like that <em>now</em> and that it was just a silly mistake on her part. He got a bit quiet and changed the subject. </p>\\n\\n<p>I got a phone call from my sister the next day furious that I'd told him and accusing me of trying to poison her not only against her but agaisnt the rest of the family too by "pretending they're bad people" and "making up false homophobia accusations". I explained to her that I didn't tell him anything but the truth because he asked and I think he's old enough to deserve honesty. She just kept yelling at me for dragging up the past and being a bad influence and has effectively banned me from hanging out with my nephew. I'm crushed because obviously I love the kid. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I have lied or refused to talk about it or lied to him or something?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for being honest with my nephew about where I was for most of his life?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27897, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.92, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Clearly NTA. You were *kicked out and rejected by your family* for over a decade, and she's saying they're not bad people or homophobic? She can think you're out of line or that it should have stayed in the past, but she sounds out of touch with reality and unwilling to own up to anything. Has she ever apologized? Has your mom?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Clearly NTA. You were *kicked out and rejected by your family* for over a decade, and she's saying they're not bad people or homophobic? She can think you're out of line or that it should have stayed in the past, but she sounds out of touch with reality and unwilling to own up to anything. Has she ever apologized? Has your mom?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Clearly NTA. You were <em>kicked out and rejected by your family</em> for over a decade, and she's saying they're not bad people or homophobic? She can think you're out of line or that it should have stayed in the past, but she sounds out of touch with reality and unwilling to own up to anything. Has she ever apologized? Has your mom?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1563876096.0, \"created_utc\": 1563876096.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"eujphy2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_eujphy2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/eujphy2/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2461, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2461, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Mum did. Profusely. Honestly, it seems to me like mum wanted to let me back pretty soon after I was kicked out but dad wouldn't allow it (he was a bastard, she couldn't have argued with him on it). She and I are great now. Sister never so much apologised but she did say she wished she hadn't done it so idk if that counts.", "role": "gecking", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"gecking\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_47akug8h\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Mum did. Profusely. Honestly, it seems to me like mum wanted to let me back pretty soon after I was kicked out but dad wouldn't allow it (he was a bastard, she couldn't have argued with him on it). She and I are great now. Sister never so much apologised but she did say she wished she hadn't done it so idk if that counts.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Mum did. Profusely. Honestly, it seems to me like mum wanted to let me back pretty soon after I was kicked out but dad wouldn't allow it (he was a bastard, she couldn't have argued with him on it). She and I are great now. Sister never so much apologised but she did say she wished she hadn't done it so idk if that counts.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1563876330.0, \"created_utc\": 1563876330.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"eujpuyo\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_eujpuyo\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_eujphy2\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/eujpuyo/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1884, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1884, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "What I don't understand is why your adult sister cut contact with you after you were kicked out for being gay? I get that it was her fault you were kicked out, but she could have still apologized and tried to stay in contact with you even if your dad was against it. It seems like she's the biggest homophobe of all here, and was just looking for an excuse to cut contact with you again after your mom reconnected.", "role": "theoriginalj", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"theoriginalj\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_m01zh\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"What I don't understand is why your adult sister cut contact with you after you were kicked out for being gay? I get that it was her fault you were kicked out, but she could have still apologized and tried to stay in contact with you even if your dad was against it. It seems like she's the biggest homophobe of all here, and was just looking for an excuse to cut contact with you again after your mom reconnected.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>What I don't understand is why your adult sister cut contact with you after you were kicked out for being gay? I get that it was her fault you were kicked out, but she could have still apologized and tried to stay in contact with you even if your dad was against it. It seems like she's the biggest homophobe of all here, and was just looking for an excuse to cut contact with you again after your mom reconnected.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1563885535.0, \"created_utc\": 1563885535.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"euka8py\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_euka8py\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_eujpuyo\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/euka8py/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 505, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 505, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "She also outs him as gay when he's 16 and she's 26! I'm trying to wrap my mind around that. She must have had some kind of significant issue and she doesn't seem to want to own up to it. NTA.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"She also outs him as gay when he's 16 and she's 26! I'm trying to wrap my mind around that. She must have had some kind of significant issue and she doesn't seem to want to own up to it. NTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>She also outs him as gay when he's 16 and she's 26! I'm trying to wrap my mind around that. She must have had some kind of significant issue and she doesn't seem to want to own up to it. NTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1563887519.0, \"created_utc\": 1563887519.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"eukf9gv\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_eukf9gv\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_euka8py\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/eukf9gv/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 540, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 540, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "My mind is boggling as well. I'm in my thirties, with an older brother, who came out to me as bi years ago. We talk about it now and then, but he's never come out to my parents. Even though he doesn't live with them and they're very accepting, it's just not something he's wanted to share with them, and I've never felt the slightest urge to tell them. Why would anyone? It isn't anything they need to know, unless he found a guy he wanted to be in a LTR with, and even then, it's his choice if and when to tell them, nothing to do with me. The sister is a homophobe like their father was, no doubt about it.", "role": "SpringySpaniel", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SpringySpaniel\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3hw0zcrq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"My mind is boggling as well. I'm in my thirties, with an older brother, who came out to me as bi years ago. We talk about it now and then, but he's never come out to my parents. Even though he doesn't live with them and they're very accepting, it's just not something he's wanted to share with them, and I've never felt the slightest urge to tell them. Why would anyone? It isn't anything they need to know, unless he found a guy he wanted to be in a LTR with, and even then, it's his choice if and when to tell them, nothing to do with me. The sister is a homophobe like their father was, no doubt about it.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My mind is boggling as well. I'm in my thirties, with an older brother, who came out to me as bi years ago. We talk about it now and then, but he's never come out to my parents. Even though he doesn't live with them and they're very accepting, it's just not something he's wanted to share with them, and I've never felt the slightest urge to tell them. Why would anyone? It isn't anything they need to know, unless he found a guy he wanted to be in a LTR with, and even then, it's his choice if and when to tell them, nothing to do with me. The sister is a homophobe like their father was, no doubt about it.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1563889023.0, \"created_utc\": 1563889023.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"eukj386\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cgq9zs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_eukj386\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_eukf9gv\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/eukj386/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 67, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 67, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "51c8e2c46286e4c4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "81670b9377d0f091", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "No shit. My brother came out to me 14 years ago, shortly after telling my mom, & having her react poorly (& completely out of character, she has always been an ally, working with the lgbtq+ community in our country on projects to change laws & regulations for inclusivity, has 2 gay brothers herself, & worked as a therapist for gay youth), he was obviously scared to come out to others, but he knew I had his back (the convo went something like \"I'm gay\", \"Cool, I know, & I'm bi \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffd\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\"), he just asked that I not tell our biodad, because if mom \"the cool one\" flipped out & had to be told off by myself, our stepdad, & younger sister, biodad who is a \"man's man\" & deeply steeped in the patriarchy & internalized misogyny, would for sure flip his lid & disown him. \n\nI kept his secret for 7 long years, brother hadn't lived at home or even in the same country as our parents since before coming out. Not once did it occur to me to say anything to biodad, or anyone else connected to him. Any time the subject of brother's relationships came up, I dodged, diverted, & changed subject like a conversation ninja, even when dad finally asked straight up wtf was going on. Brother finally told dad what was up. By that point, mom was on board (& denying ever having said \"he's too young to know what he wants!\"), & pretty much everyone else knew, so dad was hurt that brother didn't come to him sooner, but otherwise super cool with his only penis having, last name passing, trophy child not being straight. Biodad reacted to the news the way we expected mom to react, with love & respect. \n\nIt was a happy ending, but not once did I think outing my brother to anyone would be a good idea. To the point where I checked with brother before talking to my children about it, because they had questions, & even tho we'd already covered same sex relationships in general, I didn't want to out him to them if he wasn't okay with it. \n\nOP's sister is a bigoted asshole.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>No shit. My brother came out to me 14 years ago, shortly after telling my mom, & having her react poorly (& completely out of character, she has always been an ally, working with the lgbtq+ community in our country on projects to change laws & regulations for inclusivity, has 2 gay brothers herself, & worked as a therapist for gay youth), he was obviously scared to come out to others, but he knew I had his back (the convo went something like "I'm gay", "Cool, I know, & I'm bi \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffd\u200d\u2640\ufe0f"), he just asked that I not tell our biodad, because if mom "the cool one" flipped out & had to be told off by myself, our stepdad, & younger sister, biodad who is a "man's man" & deeply steeped in the patriarchy & internalized misogyny, would for sure flip his lid & disown him. </p>\n\n<p>I kept his secret for 7 long years, brother hadn't lived at home or even in the same country as our parents since before coming out. Not once did it occur to me to say anything to biodad, or anyone else connected to him. Any time the subject of brother's relationships came up, I dodged, diverted, & changed subject like a conversation ninja, even when dad finally asked straight up wtf was going on. Brother finally told dad what was up. By that point, mom was on board (& denying ever having said "he's too young to know what he wants!"), & pretty much everyone else knew, so dad was hurt that brother didn't come to him sooner, but otherwise super cool with his only penis having, last name passing, trophy child not being straight. Biodad reacted to the news the way we expected mom to react, with love & respect. </p>\n\n<p>It was a happy ending, but not once did I think outing my brother to anyone would be a good idea. To the point where I checked with brother before talking to my children about it, because they had questions, & even tho we'd already covered same sex relationships in general, I didn't want to out him to them if he wasn't okay with it. </p>\n\n<p>OP's sister is a bigoted asshole.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1563894680.0, "created_utc": 1563894680.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "eukyfe4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_cgq9zs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_eukyfe4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_eukj386", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgq9zs/aita_for_being_honest_with_my_nephew_about_where/eukyfe4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 41, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 41, "user_reports": []}
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Yah he said dad told him to bring his partner. He was definitely being used to some extent
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eayiq4
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4d2595cdfd34a8e4
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (discusses birth control, PMDD, periods, and other female-specific health issues extensively)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Adopted; went no contact with father and paternal grandmother; takes hormonal medications for PMDD and menstrual issues; has experience with anger management issues; appreciates coming from working class background"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and adoption issues (shares personal adoption experience: 'I'm adopted so she never really took to me')", "Mental health and therapy (strongly advocates: 'For the love of your child...please listen to this advice...you could cause so many issues')", "Anger management and emotional regulation (shares: 'I once broke something I really liked out of anger')", "Fabric and crafts (knowledgeable response: 'I just looked at all the current lines of that fabric and DAMN')", "LGBTQ+ rights and transgender issues (supportive comment correcting to 'EX husband' on discriminatory father post)", "Parenting and child development (engages with posts about raising children and family conflicts)", "Women's health issues (discusses PMDD, birth control, hormonal medications in detail)", "Natural consequences and accountability in parenting (supports: 'Allow him to feel the consequences of his actions')", "Interpersonal conflict resolution (actively engages with AITA posts about family disputes)", "Fairness in blended families (detailed response about stepbrother car situation: 'It still should be 50/50')"], "values": ["Strong belief in natural consequences and accountability ('I figured out a better way to deal with it because I didn't want to feel the same way')", "Advocates for professional mental health support ('please...you could cause so many issues...Teen years are already tough enough')", "Supports standing against discrimination (corrects to 'EX husband' when fianc\u00e9e doesn't oppose transphobia)", "Values fairness in family treatment ('It's wrong 100% what he is doing. They're essentially punishing you for their divorce')", "Believes in protecting children from harmful family members (empathizes with grandmother racism situation)", "Emphasizes personal responsibility ('Don't enable him by shielding him from the consequences')", "Values humor and lightheartedness as coping mechanisms (frequent 'haha' and jokes even in serious discussions)", "Supportive and encouraging of positive change ('Great job. You really rock. The world needs more people like you!')", "Believes in setting boundaries with toxic family (shares going 'NC' with father and grandmother)", "Advocates for equality regardless of biology in families (passionate about stepchild/adopted child treatment)", "Values practical problem-solving (suggests borrowing phone: 'Can I please even just text her from your phone?')", "Empathetic to others' struggles (shares personal health struggles to relate: 'Hormones suck! They literally control everything')"], "communication": ["Frequently uses 'haha' and smiley emoticons ':-)' to maintain friendly tone (appears in majority of responses)", "Shares personal anecdotes to relate to others ('I once broke something I really liked out of anger')", "Uses casual, conversational language ('Yah', 'Yeah', 'awe man', 'Ooh gotcha')", "Employs humor even in serious contexts ('Wait, but how your arm if you were kicking it? Did it body slam you? :-)')", "Direct and emphatic when passionate ('For the love of your child', 'For effs sake please', 'Stfu! :-)')", "Engages in extended back-and-forth conversations (multiple exchanges about hormones and anger management)", "Uses internet abbreviations and corrections ('FTFY', 'NC', 'ETA')", "Supportive and encouraging tone ('You really rock', 'I'm so mad for you', 'I want to hug you!')", "Makes playful, petty suggestions ('Next time SIL wears...do the Carrie thing with cheap red wine')", "Quotes other users' text frequently to respond to specific points", "Uses rhetorical questions for emphasis ('Like his pain is worth one jot more than your pain?')", "Varies between very short responses (5-10 words) and detailed explanations (100+ words)"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 5 words ('Haha get home safe!!') to approximately 150 words (stepbrother car situation)", "Average response length approximately 30-60 words", "Most frequent phrases: 'haha', ':-)', 'Yah/Yeah', 'I'm sorry', 'you get it'", "Frequently starts responses with casual affirmations or exclamations ('Yah', 'awe man', 'Ooh')", "Uses emoticons in approximately 60-70% of responses", "Often employs rhetorical questions and quoted text from other users", "Sentence structure varies from single short sentences to complex multi-clause statements", "Frequently uses ellipses (...) for trailing thoughts or emphasis", "Makes extensive use of parenthetical asides to add context or humor"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for telling my father \"we'll catch the next one\" when he invited me to his wedding?\n\nHe's been married 4 times now, and this wedding will be his fifth in the span of 30 years. I don't know how he has such a high turnover rate but I'm guessing it's to do with him being both rich and a raging narcissist. He invited me to get coffee and introduced me to his new fiancee. I knew he was going to do this because two of my brothers (there are 7 of us total, none have the same mother) said that they had just gotten coffee with dad and met the fiancee, then been invited to the wedding, and both had been given a plus one for their girlfriends of 8 and 10 months respectively.\n\nDad told me to bring my \"partner\" when I came for coffee and I brought my (trans) boyfriend along. We have been together for 3 years. The fiancee seemed nice, wanting to know about me and my boyfriend and asking questions that sounded like she actually gave a shit. Dad gets all the details of the engagement/wedding out of the way and then asks me, and only me, if I'll be there.\n\nI notice that he was talking to just me, not my boyfriend, so I say \"*we* will check if *we're* free\".\n\nDad replies that \"this is family only\"\n\nI reply, \"I just assumed, seeing as how the other siblings got plus ones\"\n\nDad says \"that's different. Are you coming?\"\n\nI say \"we'll catch the next one\".\n\nDad's fiancee becomes visibly upset and they leave. Dad texts me after that if I can be civil on the day then I can still come alone.\n\nI felt like I had to stick up for my boyfriend because this was definitely due to him being transgender, and he thanked me at the time but told me that I should probably still go, but after reporting back to my siblings to say what had happened I got mixed responses. The overall opinion was that while I absolutely should stick up for my boyfriend this was some hill to die on and I managed to catch the actually nice fiancee in the crossfire and upset dad, too.\n\nAITA?\n\nInfo: I am a woman. My boyfriend is trans FTM. Despite both of us being straight, dad thinks of us as lesbians due to my boyfriend's biology. Of me and my siblings, 3 were within wedlock and the other 4 (including me) were extramarital: 3 affairs, 1 long term girlfriend. The fiancee knows she's #5 and dad gives the same story about how he was tricked into marrying golddiggers by accident and didn't know until too late and the affairs all happened as the relationships were breaking down.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1576413728.0, \"created_utc\": 1576413728.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1576446013.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"eayiq4\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_eayiq4\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1407, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/eayiq4/aita_for_telling_my_father_well_catch_the_next/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 29848, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"He's been married 4 times now, and this wedding will be his fifth in the span of 30 years. I don't know how he has such a high turnover rate but I'm guessing it's to do with him being both rich and a raging narcissist. He invited me to get coffee and introduced me to his new fiancee. I knew he was going to do this because two of my brothers (there are 7 of us total, none have the same mother) said that they had just gotten coffee with dad and met the fiancee, then been invited to the wedding, and both had been given a plus one for their girlfriends of 8 and 10 months respectively.\\n\\nDad told me to bring my \\\"partner\\\" when I came for coffee and I brought my (trans) boyfriend along. We have been together for 3 years. The fiancee seemed nice, wanting to know about me and my boyfriend and asking questions that sounded like she actually gave a shit. Dad gets all the details of the engagement/wedding out of the way and then asks me, and only me, if I'll be there.\\n\\nI notice that he was talking to just me, not my boyfriend, so I say \\\"*we* will check if *we're* free\\\".\\n\\nDad replies that \\\"this is family only\\\"\\n\\nI reply, \\\"I just assumed, seeing as how the other siblings got plus ones\\\"\\n\\nDad says \\\"that's different. Are you coming?\\\"\\n\\nI say \\\"we'll catch the next one\\\".\\n\\nDad's fiancee becomes visibly upset and they leave. Dad texts me after that if I can be civil on the day then I can still come alone.\\n\\nI felt like I had to stick up for my boyfriend because this was definitely due to him being transgender, and he thanked me at the time but told me that I should probably still go, but after reporting back to my siblings to say what had happened I got mixed responses. The overall opinion was that while I absolutely should stick up for my boyfriend this was some hill to die on and I managed to catch the actually nice fiancee in the crossfire and upset dad, too.\\n\\nAITA?\\n\\nInfo: I am a woman. My boyfriend is trans FTM. Despite both of us being straight, dad thinks of us as lesbians due to my boyfriend's biology. Of me and my siblings, 3 were within wedlock and the other 4 (including me) were extramarital: 3 affairs, 1 long term girlfriend. The fiancee knows she's #5 and dad gives the same story about how he was tricked into marrying golddiggers by accident and didn't know until too late and the affairs all happened as the relationships were breaking down.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>He's been married 4 times now, and this wedding will be his fifth in the span of 30 years. I don't know how he has such a high turnover rate but I'm guessing it's to do with him being both rich and a raging narcissist. He invited me to get coffee and introduced me to his new fiancee. I knew he was going to do this because two of my brothers (there are 7 of us total, none have the same mother) said that they had just gotten coffee with dad and met the fiancee, then been invited to the wedding, and both had been given a plus one for their girlfriends of 8 and 10 months respectively.</p>\\n\\n<p>Dad told me to bring my "partner" when I came for coffee and I brought my (trans) boyfriend along. We have been together for 3 years. The fiancee seemed nice, wanting to know about me and my boyfriend and asking questions that sounded like she actually gave a shit. Dad gets all the details of the engagement/wedding out of the way and then asks me, and only me, if I'll be there.</p>\\n\\n<p>I notice that he was talking to just me, not my boyfriend, so I say "<em>we</em> will check if <em>we're</em> free".</p>\\n\\n<p>Dad replies that "this is family only"</p>\\n\\n<p>I reply, "I just assumed, seeing as how the other siblings got plus ones"</p>\\n\\n<p>Dad says "that's different. Are you coming?"</p>\\n\\n<p>I say "we'll catch the next one".</p>\\n\\n<p>Dad's fiancee becomes visibly upset and they leave. Dad texts me after that if I can be civil on the day then I can still come alone.</p>\\n\\n<p>I felt like I had to stick up for my boyfriend because this was definitely due to him being transgender, and he thanked me at the time but told me that I should probably still go, but after reporting back to my siblings to say what had happened I got mixed responses. The overall opinion was that while I absolutely should stick up for my boyfriend this was some hill to die on and I managed to catch the actually nice fiancee in the crossfire and upset dad, too.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Info: I am a woman. My boyfriend is trans FTM. Despite both of us being straight, dad thinks of us as lesbians due to my boyfriend's biology. Of me and my siblings, 3 were within wedlock and the other 4 (including me) were extramarital: 3 affairs, 1 long term girlfriend. The fiancee knows she's #5 and dad gives the same story about how he was tricked into marrying golddiggers by accident and didn't know until too late and the affairs all happened as the relationships were breaking down.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_eayiq4\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling my father \\\"we'll catch the next one\\\" when he invited me to his wedding?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 29848, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.84, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/eayiq4/aita_for_telling_my_father_well_catch_the_next/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA.\n\nHe invited you and your partner to meet up, and then only invited you to the wedding?\n\nThat's a dickhead move. I'd say your anger was justified.", "role": "GertieGuss", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"GertieGuss\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [3]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_370q52n0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA.\\n\\nHe invited you and your partner to meet up, and then only invited you to the wedding?\\n\\nThat's a dickhead move. I'd say your anger was justified.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA.</p>\\n\\n<p>He invited you and your partner to meet up, and then only invited you to the wedding?</p>\\n\\n<p>That's a dickhead move. I'd say your anger was justified.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1576415687.0, \"created_utc\": 1576415687.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fazfr2a\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_eayiq4\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fazfr2a\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_eayiq4\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/eayiq4/aita_for_telling_my_father_well_catch_the_next/fazfr2a/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1770, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1770, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4d2595cdfd34a8e4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "af326859817230e1", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yah he said dad told him to bring his partner. He was definitely being used to some extent", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yah he said dad told him to bring his partner. He was definitely being used to some extent</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1576433190.0, "created_utc": 1576433190.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fb17lnl", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_eayiq4", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fb17lnl", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fazfr2a", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/eayiq4/aita_for_telling_my_father_well_catch_the_next/fb17lnl/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
|
Congrats on having awesome siblings and getting away from your parents!
Also, I generally don't like multiplayer games, but I've recently got hooked to Sea of Thieves. Very simple, fun game for 2 - 4 people (though more with alliances) where you play as a pirate. I didn't think it'd be my thing but after watching a few videos and then trying it out, I got hooked. Generally very cool community - I've only run into 2 separate people so far that were being assholes.
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hdk7i3
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43fc8900947844cb
| 1,592,832,568
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "38-39 years old (was 36 in 2022)", "gender": "Male (references 'your typical teenage boy' in first-person context)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and moral judgment scenarios on AITA subreddit", "Gaming, particularly multiplayer games like Sea of Thieves, Titanfall 2, and Minecraft", "Family dynamics and sibling relationships, especially involving favoritism and unequal treatment", "Workplace conflicts and professional boundaries", "Legal matters including tenant rights, eviction laws, and custody issues", "Social justice issues, particularly racism and transphobia", "Relationship dynamics, especially age-gap relationships and their power dynamics", "Parenting issues and child welfare", "Financial fairness and economic disparities", "Standing up against discrimination and bigotry"], "values": ["Strong opposition to bigotry and discrimination, stating 'Put bigots in their place' and 'NTA, though I'm more pissed at the school officials'", "Belief that family bonds don't excuse toxic behavior: 'Blood doesn't make family' and 'blatant bigotry would be my breaking point'", "Emphasis on personal boundaries and self-advocacy, praising those who 'stood up for yourself'", "Pragmatic view that people shouldn't tolerate abuse: 'you owe the landlords anything' and 'Tell the landlords to pound sand'", "Skepticism toward incomplete narratives: 'this seems ridiculous to the point it's either made up or we're just missing a whole lotta back story'", "Fairness and equal treatment, questioning 'What else should she have done?' when someone exhausted reasonable options", "Recognition of double standards, noting 'Kinda like dating someone of the opposite sex when you know you're gay'", "Support for consequences matching actions: 'She made the decision to have the child, she must deal with any consequences'", "Belief in context-dependent judgment: 'I also really want to hear your dad and step-mom's side of the story'", "Understanding that life stages matter in relationships: 'I was a very different person at 26 than I was at 36'"], "communication": ["Uses direct, concise statements often starting with judgment abbreviations like 'NTA' or 'Eh'", "Employs rhetorical questions to emphasize points: 'What else should she have done? She asked chunky to stop and went to her boss'", "Frequently quotes specific portions of others' comments using '>' formatting to respond point-by-point", "Incorporates humor and sarcasm: 'Lol. I hope that was on purpose' and 'I hope that was on purpose'", "Uses casual, conversational language with phrases like 'Tell the landlords to pound sand' and 'fuck off'", "Provides practical advice and suggestions: 'You should add this to your original post'", "Employs ellipses for dramatic effect: '....this seems ridiculous'", "Balances bluntness with empathy: 'Congrats on having awesome siblings and getting away from your parents!'", "Uses parenthetical asides to add context or clarification", "Occasionally uses internet slang and gaming references appropriately for context"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 50-70 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length around 15-20 words in brief reactions", "Maximum response length approximately 120-150 words in detailed responses", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) as opening or closing", "Common phrases include 'What else should', 'I would', 'you should', and variations of fairness questions", "Tends to use 1-3 paragraphs per response, with single-sentence responses for brief reactions", "Often structures responses as: judgment + reasoning + advice or rhetorical question", "Uses contractions frequently ('I'd', 'you're', 'doesn't') for conversational tone"]}
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[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?\n\n[Original post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grza29/aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents_homeless/)\n\nHey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.\n\nThey do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that. My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.\n\nWhen I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.\n\nIn the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.\n\nAnyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life. If anyone knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and their new-fangled video games already confuse me.\n\nThis is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.\n\n\n\nEdit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy. \n\nKalani. How many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person? Every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and Cam, you say that if you didn't help us out, it would have been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self esteem (as evidenced by your AITA post) but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and move on so I can finally thank you?\n\nEdit #2: I have enough advice on Titanfall, thank you guys. I didn't realize it had such a big community. I now know how to beat every single campaign boss plus why I should definitely use a Scorch in the last boss battle. Thanks.", "role": "maybedontkillthem", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"maybedontkillthem\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6ljedz18\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1592795687.0, \"created_utc\": 1592795687.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1592817705.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hdk7i3\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hdk7i3\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 675, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28064, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"[Original post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grza29/aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents_homeless/)\\n\\nHey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.\\n\\nThey do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that. My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.\\n\\nWhen I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.\\n\\nIn the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.\\n\\nAnyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life. If anyone knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and their new-fangled video games already confuse me.\\n\\nThis is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.\\n\\n\\n\\nEdit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy. \\n\\nKalani. How many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person? Every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and Cam, you say that if you didn't help us out, it would have been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self esteem (as evidenced by your AITA post) but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and move on so I can finally thank you?\\n\\nEdit #2: I have enough advice on Titanfall, thank you guys. I didn't realize it had such a big community. I now know how to beat every single campaign boss plus why I should definitely use a Scorch in the last boss battle. Thanks.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p><a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grza29/aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents_homeless/\\\">Original post here</a></p>\\n\\n<p>Hey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.</p>\\n\\n<p>They do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that. My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.</p>\\n\\n<p>When I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.</p>\\n\\n<p>In the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life. If anyone knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and their new-fangled video games already confuse me.</p>\\n\\n<p>This is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy. </p>\\n\\n<p>Kalani. How many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person? Every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and Cam, you say that if you didn't help us out, it would have been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self esteem (as evidenced by your AITA post) but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and move on so I can finally thank you?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit #2: I have enough advice on Titanfall, thank you guys. I didn't realize it had such a big community. I now know how to beat every single campaign boss plus why I should definitely use a Scorch in the last boss battle. Thanks.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hdk7i3\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28064, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "43fc8900947844cb", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "1b557f3c4320dd4c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Congrats on having awesome siblings and getting away from your parents!\n\nAlso, I generally don't like multiplayer games, but I've recently got hooked to Sea of Thieves. Very simple, fun game for 2 - 4 people (though more with alliances) where you play as a pirate. I didn't think it'd be my thing but after watching a few videos and then trying it out, I got hooked. Generally very cool community - I've only run into 2 separate people so far that were being assholes.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Congrats on having awesome siblings and getting away from your parents!</p>\n\n<p>Also, I generally don't like multiplayer games, but I've recently got hooked to Sea of Thieves. Very simple, fun game for 2 - 4 people (though more with alliances) where you play as a pirate. I didn't think it'd be my thing but after watching a few videos and then trying it out, I got hooked. Generally very cool community - I've only run into 2 separate people so far that were being assholes.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1592832568.0, "created_utc": 1592832568.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fvmvng1", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hdk7i3", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fvmvng1", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_hdk7i3", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/fvmvng1/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}
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I’m so glad you told him you hope she leaves him! She should. What he was doing was ridiculous and cruel. Tell him I said so..as do hundreds on the internet!
|
p0p2ui
|
39e1b275ecf20026
| 1,628,469,088
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "35-45 (based on having a grown stepdaughter and being married for several years)", "gender": "Likely female (references having a stepdaughter and uses maternal protective language)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married, has/had a stepdaughter whose biological mother lost custody rights, has dealt with complex family/custody situations"}, "interests": ["Family dysfunction and toxic family dynamics, particularly parent-child conflicts", "Child welfare and protection from parental manipulation or neglect", "Stepfamily relationships and custody issues, as evidenced by detailed response about stepdaughter's mother", "Wedding conflicts and family drama surrounding major life events", "Favoritism and scapegoating within families, especially sibling dynamics", "Boundary violations and enabling behavior in family systems", "Adoption and parental rights disputes", "Maternal/paternal neglect and emotional abuse patterns", "Marital conflicts involving in-laws and mother-son enmeshment", "Gender-based discrimination and sexism in family structures", "Mental health issues and eating disorders in family contexts", "Religious hypocrisy and conservative family values conflicts"], "values": ["Strong protection of children's wellbeing, stating 'She absolutely didn't deserve the manipulation from her mom and it messed with her at a very vulnerable age'", "Holding parents accountable for failures, repeatedly listing ways mothers 'have done nothing' to protect their children", "Calling out enablers who allow abuse to continue, emphasizing that 'mom is going to be shocked when she abandons all of you in 2 years'", "Valuing honesty and direct communication over maintaining false peace", "Opposing manipulation and victim-playing, noting when people are 'furious with OP for over accommodating her'", "Supporting those who set boundaries and stand up for themselves, encouraging 'Cut her off now. Go as close to NC as you can'", "Condemning those who prioritize appearances over genuine relationships and wellbeing", "Recognizing patterns of abuse and predicting future harm, warning 'I would not be surprised if they encouraged the behavior'", "Advocating for consequences for bad behavior rather than excusing it", "Valuing self-respect and refusing to tolerate mistreatment in relationships", "Supporting chosen family over toxic biological family when necessary", "Opposing gender-based discrimination and sexist family dynamics"], "communication": ["Uses direct, blunt language without sugar-coating, such as 'They are not good people. They also raised sis to be who she is so they doubly stink!'", "Employs sarcasm and humor effectively, like 'With her forehead' and 'Her SONSBAND!' and 'Can you imagine? Sis shows up one day demanding her baby'", "Creates detailed lists to enumerate wrongdoings systematically, as in 'Except: Ignore OP, Allow SS to abuse OP, Allow SD to be sexist'", "Uses emphatic capitalization for emphasis: 'TELL THEM THE EXACT REASON YOU DID NOT ATTEND INCLUDING HOW THEY BERATED YOU'", "Makes predictions about future consequences: 'she is going to be shocked when she abandons all of you in 2 years'", "Employs rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity: 'Who tells their child they have to let their spouse be sexually assaulted on their wedding day?'", "Uses vivid imagery and hypothetical scenarios to illustrate points", "Frequently addresses the original poster directly with advice and validation", "Varies between brief, punchy one-liners and longer, detailed analytical responses", "Uses colloquial language and internet slang appropriately ('wtf', 'NC', 'fb')", "Often ends with strong declarative statements or calls to action", "Shows appreciation for community support: 'And this thread is why I love Reddit'"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 5-word quips ('With her forehead') to 200+ word detailed analyses", "Average response length approximately 50-80 words", "Frequently uses phrases like 'NTA', 'Cut her off', 'Go NC', 'I would not be surprised'", "Often structures responses with rhetorical questions followed by declarative statements", "Uses exclamation points frequently for emphasis and emotional impact", "Employs ellipses to create dramatic pauses or indicate trailing thoughts", "Capitalizes entire phrases or sentences for strong emphasis multiple times per response", "Frequently quotes or paraphrases from the original post to build arguments", "Uses parenthetical asides to add commentary or clarification", "Shows pattern of predicting negative outcomes and warning of consequences"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage\n\nI\u2019m 60 and bad with the whole text thing on mobiles so I\u2019m hoping I won\u2019t be judged on my grammar \n\n\nHere\u2019s the important background my daughter in law (32) and son(33) have 3 children aged 3 years 2 years and 4 months . He convinced her to be a stay at home mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was without telling her (which I today found out) that our arrangement was everything everything before 9am and\nAfter 5pm was split 50/50, Sunday was my day off and I was brought out twice a week. \n\n\nOn to the story- on my last visit I noticed my daughter in law was struggling mentally so I,my sister(55f) and her girlfriend (53) pulled our money together and paid for a spa weekend for them while we\u2019d babysit the kids for her birthday last weekend. \n\nI was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my dil rang me holding back tears saying they\u2019d won\u2019t be going because my sons friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up. I pressed her a little and I\u2019m talking a little about her situation , she came clean about him doing no chores,no date nights and her basically doing all of the child care because \u201cthat\u2019s what stay at home moms do\u201d I was honestly disgusted. I convinced her to drop me off the kids and bring a friend to the spa I even dipped into my savings to give her \u20ac500 to buy herself something nice. When she dropped me off the kids I begged her to tell me were son was after 5 minutes she told me the bar. She left for the spa while I left for the bar (she knew I was going there and knew my sister/my sister in law were taking care of the kids) \n\nHere\u2019s were I might be the asshole I when to the bar were he and his friends were, I sat down next to the Group and asked my son \u201cdid i fail you as a mother or was it your father because we both thought your partner comes before your silly drunk friends\u201d the post is getting long enough but long story short I humiliated him and got myself banned from a bar \n\nMy dil said she will taking the kids to her parents when she gets back tomorrow and my son is calling me an asshole for humiliating him/ sticking my nose in his marriage \nMaybe I should have stayed out i don\u2019t know\n\n\nEdit I just wanted to say I\u2019m heartbroken not by any judgement towards me or my parenting skills but the fact a lot of people are shocked I\u2019m care about my daughter in laws mental health and stood up for her against my sons bad behaviour I just want to say as a mother my advice is \nTreat your daughter/son/non-binary in laws how you\u2019d want YOUR children to treated. Respect goes along way", "role": "Classic-Goose-8228", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Classic-Goose-8228\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dsu5ljuy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1628463814.0, \"created_utc\": 1628463814.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1628472598.0, \"gilded\": 6, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"p0p2ui\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_p0p2ui\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3031, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p0p2ui/aita_for_making_a_scene_of_my_adult_son_and/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 40147, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I\\u2019m 60 and bad with the whole text thing on mobiles so I\\u2019m hoping I won\\u2019t be judged on my grammar \\n\\n\\nHere\\u2019s the important background my daughter in law (32) and son(33) have 3 children aged 3 years 2 years and 4 months . He convinced her to be a stay at home mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was without telling her (which I today found out) that our arrangement was everything everything before 9am and\\nAfter 5pm was split 50/50, Sunday was my day off and I was brought out twice a week. \\n\\n\\nOn to the story- on my last visit I noticed my daughter in law was struggling mentally so I,my sister(55f) and her girlfriend (53) pulled our money together and paid for a spa weekend for them while we\\u2019d babysit the kids for her birthday last weekend. \\n\\nI was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my dil rang me holding back tears saying they\\u2019d won\\u2019t be going because my sons friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up. I pressed her a little and I\\u2019m talking a little about her situation , she came clean about him doing no chores,no date nights and her basically doing all of the child care because \\u201cthat\\u2019s what stay at home moms do\\u201d I was honestly disgusted. I convinced her to drop me off the kids and bring a friend to the spa I even dipped into my savings to give her \\u20ac500 to buy herself something nice. When she dropped me off the kids I begged her to tell me were son was after 5 minutes she told me the bar. She left for the spa while I left for the bar (she knew I was going there and knew my sister/my sister in law were taking care of the kids) \\n\\nHere\\u2019s were I might be the asshole I when to the bar were he and his friends were, I sat down next to the Group and asked my son \\u201cdid i fail you as a mother or was it your father because we both thought your partner comes before your silly drunk friends\\u201d the post is getting long enough but long story short I humiliated him and got myself banned from a bar \\n\\nMy dil said she will taking the kids to her parents when she gets back tomorrow and my son is calling me an asshole for humiliating him/ sticking my nose in his marriage \\nMaybe I should have stayed out i don\\u2019t know\\n\\n\\nEdit I just wanted to say I\\u2019m heartbroken not by any judgement towards me or my parenting skills but the fact a lot of people are shocked I\\u2019m care about my daughter in laws mental health and stood up for her against my sons bad behaviour I just want to say as a mother my advice is \\nTreat your daughter/son/non-binary in laws how you\\u2019d want YOUR children to treated. Respect goes along way\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I\\u2019m 60 and bad with the whole text thing on mobiles so I\\u2019m hoping I won\\u2019t be judged on my grammar </p>\\n\\n<p>Here\\u2019s the important background my daughter in law (32) and son(33) have 3 children aged 3 years 2 years and 4 months . He convinced her to be a stay at home mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was without telling her (which I today found out) that our arrangement was everything everything before 9am and\\nAfter 5pm was split 50/50, Sunday was my day off and I was brought out twice a week. </p>\\n\\n<p>On to the story- on my last visit I noticed my daughter in law was struggling mentally so I,my sister(55f) and her girlfriend (53) pulled our money together and paid for a spa weekend for them while we\\u2019d babysit the kids for her birthday last weekend. </p>\\n\\n<p>I was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my dil rang me holding back tears saying they\\u2019d won\\u2019t be going because my sons friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up. I pressed her a little and I\\u2019m talking a little about her situation , she came clean about him doing no chores,no date nights and her basically doing all of the child care because \\u201cthat\\u2019s what stay at home moms do\\u201d I was honestly disgusted. I convinced her to drop me off the kids and bring a friend to the spa I even dipped into my savings to give her \\u20ac500 to buy herself something nice. When she dropped me off the kids I begged her to tell me were son was after 5 minutes she told me the bar. She left for the spa while I left for the bar (she knew I was going there and knew my sister/my sister in law were taking care of the kids) </p>\\n\\n<p>Here\\u2019s were I might be the asshole I when to the bar were he and his friends were, I sat down next to the Group and asked my son \\u201cdid i fail you as a mother or was it your father because we both thought your partner comes before your silly drunk friends\\u201d the post is getting long enough but long story short I humiliated him and got myself banned from a bar </p>\\n\\n<p>My dil said she will taking the kids to her parents when she gets back tomorrow and my son is calling me an asshole for humiliating him/ sticking my nose in his marriage \\nMaybe I should have stayed out i don\\u2019t know</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit I just wanted to say I\\u2019m heartbroken not by any judgement towards me or my parenting skills but the fact a lot of people are shocked I\\u2019m care about my daughter in laws mental health and stood up for her against my sons bad behaviour I just want to say as a mother my advice is \\nTreat your daughter/son/non-binary in laws how you\\u2019d want YOUR children to treated. Respect goes along way</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_p0p2ui\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 40147, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p0p2ui/aita_for_making_a_scene_of_my_adult_son_and/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "I mean, I guess we need to know exactly what was said but I\u2019m pretty sure NTA.", "role": "poeadam", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"poeadam\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#dd9900\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"91f5b732-f8a6-11e8-9be0-0e9cbded19c2\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Commander in Cheeks [282]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_baffc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I mean, I guess we need to know exactly what was said but I\\u2019m pretty sure NTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I mean, I guess we need to know exactly what was said but I\\u2019m pretty sure NTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1628464253.0, \"created_utc\": 1628464253.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h882eni\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p0p2ui\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h882eni\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_p0p2ui\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p0p2ui/aita_for_making_a_scene_of_my_adult_son_and/h882eni/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1687, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1687, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I said after what I told everyone in the post \n\nSon - mom (dil) said it was ok We hardly see David since he moved \n\nMe - your wife is on her way to a spa I\u2019ve your children Who I hope you\u2019ll pick up Tomorrow when you\u2019re sober up but I hardly doubt because from what my dil told me you\u2019re a failure as a father as you are as a husband, would you like if one of your sisters where treated that way?\n\nHis friend -mrs (me) you are yelling and making a scene please leave because by the sounds of what you everything is going ok said so at least for tonight leave (son) alone we don\u2019t get to see eachother much since college so please cut (son) some slick \n\n\nMe - you\u2019ve all families and partners you hopefully respect that\u2019s why, so please kindly fuck off \n\nSon - mom I\u2019ll talk to you tomorrow everyone is looking and the stuff want you to leave because our table has now more than 6 people please leave LEAVE NOW\n\nMe - I honestly expected better but you\u2019re a wolf in sheep\u2019s clothes I hope she divorces you \n\nAfter that I got asked to leave and never come back to the bar for yelling and harassing customers aka my son\n\nEdit my comment is all over the place grammar\nWise because it was coming up time to FaceTime by dil with her\nKids", "role": "Classic-Goose-8228", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Classic-Goose-8228\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dsu5ljuy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I said after what I told everyone in the post \\n\\nSon - mom (dil) said it was ok We hardly see David since he moved \\n\\nMe - your wife is on her way to a spa I\\u2019ve your children Who I hope you\\u2019ll pick up Tomorrow when you\\u2019re sober up but I hardly doubt because from what my dil told me you\\u2019re a failure as a father as you are as a husband, would you like if one of your sisters where treated that way?\\n\\nHis friend -mrs (me) you are yelling and making a scene please leave because by the sounds of what you everything is going ok said so at least for tonight leave (son) alone we don\\u2019t get to see eachother much since college so please cut (son) some slick \\n\\n\\nMe - you\\u2019ve all families and partners you hopefully respect that\\u2019s why, so please kindly fuck off \\n\\nSon - mom I\\u2019ll talk to you tomorrow everyone is looking and the stuff want you to leave because our table has now more than 6 people please leave LEAVE NOW\\n\\nMe - I honestly expected better but you\\u2019re a wolf in sheep\\u2019s clothes I hope she divorces you \\n\\nAfter that I got asked to leave and never come back to the bar for yelling and harassing customers aka my son\\n\\nEdit my comment is all over the place grammar\\nWise because it was coming up time to FaceTime by dil with her\\nKids\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I said after what I told everyone in the post </p>\\n\\n<p>Son - mom (dil) said it was ok We hardly see David since he moved </p>\\n\\n<p>Me - your wife is on her way to a spa I\\u2019ve your children Who I hope you\\u2019ll pick up Tomorrow when you\\u2019re sober up but I hardly doubt because from what my dil told me you\\u2019re a failure as a father as you are as a husband, would you like if one of your sisters where treated that way?</p>\\n\\n<p>His friend -mrs (me) you are yelling and making a scene please leave because by the sounds of what you everything is going ok said so at least for tonight leave (son) alone we don\\u2019t get to see eachother much since college so please cut (son) some slick </p>\\n\\n<p>Me - you\\u2019ve all families and partners you hopefully respect that\\u2019s why, so please kindly fuck off </p>\\n\\n<p>Son - mom I\\u2019ll talk to you tomorrow everyone is looking and the stuff want you to leave because our table has now more than 6 people please leave LEAVE NOW</p>\\n\\n<p>Me - I honestly expected better but you\\u2019re a wolf in sheep\\u2019s clothes I hope she divorces you </p>\\n\\n<p>After that I got asked to leave and never come back to the bar for yelling and harassing customers aka my son</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit my comment is all over the place grammar\\nWise because it was coming up time to FaceTime by dil with her\\nKids</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1628465030.0, \"created_utc\": 1628465030.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1628467033.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h883y4z\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p0p2ui\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h883y4z\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h882eni\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p0p2ui/aita_for_making_a_scene_of_my_adult_son_and/h883y4z/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5031, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5031, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "39e1b275ecf20026", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [7]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c9c1ef98a21cbe59", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I\u2019m so glad you told him you hope she leaves him! She should. What he was doing was ridiculous and cruel. Tell him I said so..as do hundreds on the internet!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I\u2019m so glad you told him you hope she leaves him! She should. What he was doing was ridiculous and cruel. Tell him I said so..as do hundreds on the internet!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1628469088.0, "created_utc": 1628469088.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h88bx8l", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_p0p2ui", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h88bx8l", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h883y4z", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p0p2ui/aita_for_making_a_scene_of_my_adult_son_and/h88bx8l/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 232, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 232, "user_reports": []}
|
This is also a form of abusive grooming. Life with him will not improve. OP, leave now before he gets his mental claws imbedded.
|
ot3iy2
|
5790b59ef353cf84
| 1,627,472,940
| 2
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has a sister, had a father who passed away, dealt with inheritance issues, was expected to be a caretaker for sister but refused"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and boundary-setting, particularly around caregiving expectations", "Protecting children from neglect, abuse, and manipulation in family situations", "Workplace harassment and documentation for legal protection", "Inheritance disputes and financial manipulation within families", "Identifying patterns of abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation in relationships", "Supporting people who establish boundaries against family pressure", "Cases involving racial discrimination and unfair treatment", "Practical problem-solving in interpersonal conflicts", "Email mix-ups and identity confusion situations", "End-of-life planning and legacy preservation", "Babysitting and childcare boundary violations", "Sibling relationships and family estrangement"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy: 'I finally told them No' and 'I will not be the caretaker for any of them'", "Prioritizing children's wellbeing over adult convenience or feelings", "Importance of documentation: 'Please keep all contact from her. You may need to provide it for the investigation'", "Standing firm against manipulation: 'their lack of planning is not your emergency'", "Helping others even when inconvenient: shares story of forwarding emails to family 7 states away and hoping 'someone would help me as I've helped them'", "Recognizing and calling out abuse patterns: 'This is also a form of abusive grooming'", "Protecting vulnerable parties from exploitation and harm", "Valuing firm boundaries over family harmony when necessary", "Believing people should face consequences for their actions", "Supporting those who refuse to be manipulated by guilt", "Advocating for immediate action and documentation in workplace conflicts", "Recognizing racial discrimination: 'Definitely need to use the words \"racial discrimination\" in the conversation'"], "communication": ["Direct, imperative style: 'Lay it out now', 'Get this documented with HR asap'", "Uses strong, blunt language when describing problematic people: 'abusive, controlling twat'", "Employs casual internet abbreviations and slang: 'Nope', 'Lol', 'NTA'", "Validates others with brief affirmations: 'This needs an award', 'If I could award you, I would'", "Shares personal anecdotes to provide context and support: detailed story about email mix-up family", "Uses humor and sarcasm: 'I mean .. many times blue hair is used to depict hair that is very black'", "Provides actionable, specific advice rather than general platitudes", "Often structures advice as warnings: 'You'll never see it again'", "Asks pointed questions to clarify situations: 'Does your sis want kids?'", "Uses emphatic capitalization for emphasis: 'ONLY provide other people' posts'", "Balances brevity with detailed responses depending on context", "Frequently suggests escalation or firm action: 'you should've kicked the parents out as well'"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 5 words ('This needs an award') to 200+ words in personal narratives", "Average response length approximately 40-60 words", "Frequently uses short, punchy sentences for emphasis", "Common phrases include 'NTA', 'This', 'Don't', 'You'll never', 'needs to'", "Uses paragraph breaks even in shorter responses for readability", "Employs rhetorical questions to make points", "Mixes casual and formal language depending on seriousness of topic", "Often begins responses with agreement or validation before adding advice", "Uses ellipses for dramatic pause or trailing thoughts", "Incorporates quoted material from contexts to reference specific points"]}
|
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I can't understand any more.", "role": "Pizzarating", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Pizzarating\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dkg9lk8f\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1627449823.0, \"created_utc\": 1627449823.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ot3iy2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ot3iy2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3244, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ot3iy2/aita_for_buying_my_boyfriend_birthday_gifts_i_am/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 29541, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My boyfriend turned 21 last week and I bought him a new video game he had been wanting and a t-shirt.\\n\\nHe started ignoring me and leaving me on read after that.\\n\\nI asked him what was wrong and he finally said it was unfair that I got him birthday presents because now he's going to have to get me something for my birthday and that I am being manipulative.\\n\\nI told him no you don't have to get me anything for my birthday but I'd like to spend some time with you that day but he said that it was a \\\"dick move\\\" that I got him gifts. He says I was trying to make him feel obligated. I told him it is the thought that counts and that he doesn't have to get me anything but that if he does, I'd be happy with just a card but he keeps saying he is unsure he can deal with a materialistic girlfriend.\\n\\nWas it wrong that I got him gifts? I can't understand any more.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My boyfriend turned 21 last week and I bought him a new video game he had been wanting and a t-shirt.</p>\\n\\n<p>He started ignoring me and leaving me on read after that.</p>\\n\\n<p>I asked him what was wrong and he finally said it was unfair that I got him birthday presents because now he's going to have to get me something for my birthday and that I am being manipulative.</p>\\n\\n<p>I told him no you don't have to get me anything for my birthday but I'd like to spend some time with you that day but he said that it was a "dick move" that I got him gifts. He says I was trying to make him feel obligated. I told him it is the thought that counts and that he doesn't have to get me anything but that if he does, I'd be happy with just a card but he keeps saying he is unsure he can deal with a materialistic girlfriend.</p>\\n\\n<p>Was it wrong that I got him gifts? I can't understand any more.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ot3iy2\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for buying my boyfriend birthday gifts? I am confused and upset\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 29541, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.83, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ot3iy2/aita_for_buying_my_boyfriend_birthday_gifts_i_am/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Dump him. This is disgusting behavior in his half. He is gaslighting you and he\u2019s actually the one being manipulative. He\u2019s turned your kind gesture into you feeling insecure, confused, and like you\u2019ve done something horribly wrong. You deserve better.\n\nEdit: Some of y\u2019all responding seem to have a personal issue with the use of the word \u201cgaslighting.\u201d And I used it correctly, he made her question her own reality (her intentions behind the gift) and accept his perspective by guilting her so hard that she felt confused and awful.", "role": "unwise_watson", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"unwise_watson\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_bzw2pcdx\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Dump him. This is disgusting behavior in his half. He is gaslighting you and he\\u2019s actually the one being manipulative. He\\u2019s turned your kind gesture into you feeling insecure, confused, and like you\\u2019ve done something horribly wrong. You deserve better.\\n\\nEdit: Some of y\\u2019all responding seem to have a personal issue with the use of the word \\u201cgaslighting.\\u201d And I used it correctly, he made her question her own reality (her intentions behind the gift) and accept his perspective by guilting her so hard that she felt confused and awful.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Dump him. This is disgusting behavior in his half. He is gaslighting you and he\\u2019s actually the one being manipulative. He\\u2019s turned your kind gesture into you feeling insecure, confused, and like you\\u2019ve done something horribly wrong. You deserve better.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: Some of y\\u2019all responding seem to have a personal issue with the use of the word \\u201cgaslighting.\\u201d And I used it correctly, he made her question her own reality (her intentions behind the gift) and accept his perspective by guilting her so hard that she felt confused and awful.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1627450856.0, \"created_utc\": 1627450856.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1627479074.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h6srvkc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ot3iy2\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h6srvkc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ot3iy2\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ot3iy2/aita_for_buying_my_boyfriend_birthday_gifts_i_am/h6srvkc/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 15142, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": false, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 15142, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5790b59ef353cf84", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0114757a05a2e9cc", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "This is also a form of abusive grooming. Life with him will not improve. OP, leave now before he gets his mental claws imbedded.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>This is also a form of abusive grooming. Life with him will not improve. OP, leave now before he gets his mental claws imbedded.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1627472940.0, "created_utc": 1627472940.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h6tivh0", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ot3iy2", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h6tivh0", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h6srvkc", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ot3iy2/aita_for_buying_my_boyfriend_birthday_gifts_i_am/h6tivh0/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 15, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 15, "user_reports": []}
|
Nah, now she’s got a ring so she feels like she’s “won.” It’s petty and childish.
Also - if Fran wants to be a SAHM - OP gave her a huge gift: a debt-free, college-educated husband.
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rqh4dn
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736798e039996647
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Witnessed domestic violence as a child ('My dad didn't start hitting my mom until after I was born'); demonstrates knowledge suggesting possible background in mental health or psychology"}, "interests": ["Domestic violence awareness and prevention, frequently citing CDC statistics about intimate partner homicide", "Mental health disorders and diagnoses, particularly distinguishing between BPD (borderline personality disorder) and BP (bipolar disorder)", "Eating disorders and their manifestations, noting 'I've heard more than one vegan say \"idgaf about the animals - I'm just vegan so nobody asks why I don't eat anything\"'", "Relationship dynamics and power imbalances, especially in age-gap relationships", "Abuse patterns and escalation cycles in intimate relationships", "Educational and financial independence as protective factors in relationships", "Manipulation tactics including gaslighting and guilt-tripping", "Red flags in romantic relationships, particularly around major life events like pregnancy or marriage", "Pediatric disruptive behavior disorders and callous-unemotional traits in children", "The intersection of profession and domestic violence, noting 'studies suggesting that police officers are much, much more likely to engage in spousal abuse'", "Social class differences and their impact on relationships", "Religious and cultural influences on relationship expectations"], "values": ["Zero tolerance for abuse, stating bluntly 'Abusive drunks get no quarter' and consistently advocating for leaving abusive situations", "Prioritizes victim safety over social conventions, repeatedly urging 'Please, please, OP, get out now'", "Values education and financial independence, praising outcomes like 'a debt-free, college-educated husband'", "Believes in direct confrontation of problematic behavior rather than enabling it", "Advocates for evidence-based understanding of mental health rather than stigmatization", "Recognizes that abuse often escalates after victims feel 'trapped' by pregnancy, marriage, or financial dependence", "Supports calling out manipulation and gaslighting, describing tactics like 'crocodile tears' as guilt trips", "Values practical problem-solving, suggesting creative solutions like using puppy pads for the boyfriend with poor aim", "Believes in age-appropriate expectations and criticizes those who are 'out of touch with how normal people in their 20s live'", "Skeptical of performative religiosity, telling someone to 'read a book that isn't the Bible'", "Advocates for professional mental health intervention when appropriate, suggesting neurologist consultation for concerning behaviors", "Believes abusers reveal themselves at strategic moments when victims are most vulnerable"], "communication": ["Uses direct, assertive language with phrases like 'Girl needs to check herself' and 'NTA. Abusive drunks get no quarter'", "Employs sarcasm and humor strategically, calling boyfriend's behavior 'absolutely hilarious' and using 'ok boomer' as a figure of speech", "Copy-pastes detailed warnings about domestic violence patterns across multiple posts, showing consistent advocacy messaging", "Uses clinical terminology accurately, distinguishing 'BPD is borderline personality disorder' from 'BP is bipolar disorder'", "Asks pointed, investigative questions like 'INFO: does he have a secret family?' to uncover hidden issues", "Cites authoritative sources, referencing '50% of homicides against women in the US are committed by a current or former intimate male partner, according to the CDC'", "Uses capitalization and formatting for emphasis, writing 'ONLY provide other people' posts' and breaking longer responses into clear paragraphs", "Combines personal anecdotes with professional knowledge, sharing 'My dad didn't start hitting my mom until after I was born' alongside clinical observations", "Employs 'hijacking' technique to amplify important safety messages in comment threads", "Uses colloquial expressions like 'idgaf' alongside formal terminology, showing range in register", "Makes bold predictions and assessments, stating definitively 'This will escalate' and 'It's petty and childish'", "Balances empathy with tough love, acknowledging difficulty while maintaining firm boundaries about unacceptable behavior"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 8 words ('NTA. Abusive drunks get no quarter.') to over 250 words in detailed domestic violence warnings", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words, with longer responses reserved for safety-critical situations", "Frequently uses phrases: 'abusers often show their true colors,' 'get out now,' 'this will escalate,' 'red flags,' 'NTA'", "Consistently cites the statistic '50% of homicides against women in the US are committed by a current or former intimate male partner, according to the CDC'", "Uses mental health terminology frequently: BPD, BP, NPD, DMDD, hypomania, conduct disorder, callous-unemotional traits, eating disorder", "Employs rhetorical questions strategically to prompt reflection or investigation", "Uses paragraph breaks in longer responses to organize thoughts, typically 2-4 paragraphs for complex topics", "Includes personal disclosure ('My dad didn't start hitting my mom') in approximately 20% of responses to establish credibility", "Sentence structure varies from short, punchy declarations to complex, multi-clause explanations of psychological concepts", "Uses profanity selectively for emphasis ('idgaf') but maintains professional tone when discussing clinical topics"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for 'forcing' my son to wait to marry his then high-school girlfriend?\n\nI (f50s) have 2 sons, Dan (m22) and Sam (m27). Dan started dating 'Fran' in their junior year. Towards the end of senior year, Dan came to me and said he wanted to marry Fran. At the time, Dan had multiple college options which he was going to decline to stay in our town and marry Fran. I obviously didn't support this, I wanted my son to go to college and knew he wanted that too as he'd always been ambitious. I told my son that he had his whole life ahead of him and he could get married later, but didn't need to rush it. I told him that if he went to college and waited, even just a year or two, I'd pay for his tuition. At the time I didn't know how serious their relationship was as they'd been together for a little over a year, and was scared it wouldn't work out and he'd waste this opportunity. My son happily accepted this offer and agreed with me that it would be best to wait.\n\n\u200b\n\nThis year my son graduated college but maintained a long distance relationship with Fran, and they announced their engagement a couple months ago. We were all ecstatic about it. Sometime between then and now, my son told Fran that I was the reason he waited until now to propose. I wasn't aware until Christmas when during dinner, Fran said she wanted to say something. She began saying I paid my son to not married her and actively tried to ruin their relationship. She then said she was blessed that 'evil hadn't won' and couldn't wait to have a long and happy marriage. Everyone was silent and didn't really know what to say. My son approached me later to apologise and said she had twisted his words but it's been constantly weighing on my mind as friends and family present all have different opinions.\n\n\u200b\n\n**Edit**\n\nIf my son had married Fran out of high school, he wouldn't of gone to college. My son chose to go to a school so far away, there were closer options but he liked the school he chose. I will be showing Dan this thread and update if he responds. Fran currently works at her mothers bakery. She wants to be a SAHM once they get married and was waiting for Dan to come back home.\n\n**Update**\n\nDan and Fran have talked and cleared the air around this situation. Fran feels awful about what she said and realised she should've come and talked to me privately. This situation however has brought up other issues between the two and their future, as Dan expressed the Fran he would like to go to law school. Fran wants them to start their life together and thinks it's unfair for Dan to make them wait for 4+ years. Dan is currently home and we will be dealing with this together. Thank you for all the advice, Dan has read this thread and is now feeling unsure about their relationship.", "role": "Fig2374", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Fig2374\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_i0csspr2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1640701820.0, \"created_utc\": 1640701820.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1640768916.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"rqh4dn\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_rqh4dn\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2954, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqh4dn/aita_for_forcing_my_son_to_wait_to_marry_his_then/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24061, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I (f50s) have 2 sons, Dan (m22) and Sam (m27). Dan started dating 'Fran' in their junior year. Towards the end of senior year, Dan came to me and said he wanted to marry Fran. At the time, Dan had multiple college options which he was going to decline to stay in our town and marry Fran. I obviously didn't support this, I wanted my son to go to college and knew he wanted that too as he'd always been ambitious. I told my son that he had his whole life ahead of him and he could get married later, but didn't need to rush it. I told him that if he went to college and waited, even just a year or two, I'd pay for his tuition. At the time I didn't know how serious their relationship was as they'd been together for a little over a year, and was scared it wouldn't work out and he'd waste this opportunity. My son happily accepted this offer and agreed with me that it would be best to wait.\\n\\n​\\n\\nThis year my son graduated college but maintained a long distance relationship with Fran, and they announced their engagement a couple months ago. We were all ecstatic about it. Sometime between then and now, my son told Fran that I was the reason he waited until now to propose. I wasn't aware until Christmas when during dinner, Fran said she wanted to say something. She began saying I paid my son to not married her and actively tried to ruin their relationship. She then said she was blessed that 'evil hadn't won' and couldn't wait to have a long and happy marriage. Everyone was silent and didn't really know what to say. My son approached me later to apologise and said she had twisted his words but it's been constantly weighing on my mind as friends and family present all have different opinions.\\n\\n​\\n\\n**Edit**\\n\\nIf my son had married Fran out of high school, he wouldn't of gone to college. My son chose to go to a school so far away, there were closer options but he liked the school he chose. I will be showing Dan this thread and update if he responds. Fran currently works at her mothers bakery. She wants to be a SAHM once they get married and was waiting for Dan to come back home.\\n\\n**Update**\\n\\nDan and Fran have talked and cleared the air around this situation. Fran feels awful about what she said and realised she should've come and talked to me privately. This situation however has brought up other issues between the two and their future, as Dan expressed the Fran he would like to go to law school. Fran wants them to start their life together and thinks it's unfair for Dan to make them wait for 4+ years. Dan is currently home and we will be dealing with this together. Thank you for all the advice, Dan has read this thread and is now feeling unsure about their relationship.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (f50s) have 2 sons, Dan (m22) and Sam (m27). Dan started dating 'Fran' in their junior year. Towards the end of senior year, Dan came to me and said he wanted to marry Fran. At the time, Dan had multiple college options which he was going to decline to stay in our town and marry Fran. I obviously didn't support this, I wanted my son to go to college and knew he wanted that too as he'd always been ambitious. I told my son that he had his whole life ahead of him and he could get married later, but didn't need to rush it. I told him that if he went to college and waited, even just a year or two, I'd pay for his tuition. At the time I didn't know how serious their relationship was as they'd been together for a little over a year, and was scared it wouldn't work out and he'd waste this opportunity. My son happily accepted this offer and agreed with me that it would be best to wait.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>This year my son graduated college but maintained a long distance relationship with Fran, and they announced their engagement a couple months ago. We were all ecstatic about it. Sometime between then and now, my son told Fran that I was the reason he waited until now to propose. I wasn't aware until Christmas when during dinner, Fran said she wanted to say something. She began saying I paid my son to not married her and actively tried to ruin their relationship. She then said she was blessed that 'evil hadn't won' and couldn't wait to have a long and happy marriage. Everyone was silent and didn't really know what to say. My son approached me later to apologise and said she had twisted his words but it's been constantly weighing on my mind as friends and family present all have different opinions.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Edit</strong></p>\\n\\n<p>If my son had married Fran out of high school, he wouldn't of gone to college. My son chose to go to a school so far away, there were closer options but he liked the school he chose. I will be showing Dan this thread and update if he responds. Fran currently works at her mothers bakery. She wants to be a SAHM once they get married and was waiting for Dan to come back home.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Update</strong></p>\\n\\n<p>Dan and Fran have talked and cleared the air around this situation. Fran feels awful about what she said and realised she should've come and talked to me privately. This situation however has brought up other issues between the two and their future, as Dan expressed the Fran he would like to go to law school. Fran wants them to start their life together and thinks it's unfair for Dan to make them wait for 4+ years. Dan is currently home and we will be dealing with this together. Thank you for all the advice, Dan has read this thread and is now feeling unsure about their relationship.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_rqh4dn\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for 'forcing' my son to wait to marry his then high-school girlfriend?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24061, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqh4dn/aita_for_forcing_my_son_to_wait_to_marry_his_then/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You only wanted what was best for your son, and given how \u2018Fran\u2019 is acting with a few more years of maturity, I can\u2019t fault you for having reservations about him rushing into marriage with her. \nIt honestly sounds like she thrives on dramatics, and her use of hyperbolic language suggests to me that her assessment that she\u2019s going to have a long and happy marriage is a little presumptuous.", "role": "Old-Poet6587", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Old-Poet6587\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7qyz1r2u\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You only wanted what was best for your son, and given how \\u2018Fran\\u2019 is acting with a few more years of maturity, I can\\u2019t fault you for having reservations about him rushing into marriage with her. \\nIt honestly sounds like she thrives on dramatics, and her use of hyperbolic language suggests to me that her assessment that she\\u2019s going to have a long and happy marriage is a little presumptuous.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You only wanted what was best for your son, and given how \\u2018Fran\\u2019 is acting with a few more years of maturity, I can\\u2019t fault you for having reservations about him rushing into marriage with her. \\nIt honestly sounds like she thrives on dramatics, and her use of hyperbolic language suggests to me that her assessment that she\\u2019s going to have a long and happy marriage is a little presumptuous.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1640702394.0, \"created_utc\": 1640702394.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hqa4wbz\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_rqh4dn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hqa4wbz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_rqh4dn\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqh4dn/aita_for_forcing_my_son_to_wait_to_marry_his_then/hqa4wbz/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4580, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4580, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I am a single parent so it felt like a personal attack towards me, but also due to the fact that a reason why I wanted my son to wait was because I didn't know if they'd last. I was quite shocked as she'd never acted like this before as she is usually quite 'tame' if thats the right word? She has always been non-confrontational so it was a surprise to us all, including my son.", "role": "Fig2374", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Fig2374\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_i0csspr2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I am a single parent so it felt like a personal attack towards me, but also due to the fact that a reason why I wanted my son to wait was because I didn't know if they'd last. I was quite shocked as she'd never acted like this before as she is usually quite 'tame' if thats the right word? She has always been non-confrontational so it was a surprise to us all, including my son.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I am a single parent so it felt like a personal attack towards me, but also due to the fact that a reason why I wanted my son to wait was because I didn't know if they'd last. I was quite shocked as she'd never acted like this before as she is usually quite 'tame' if thats the right word? She has always been non-confrontational so it was a surprise to us all, including my son.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1640702818.0, \"created_utc\": 1640702818.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hqa5sq0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_rqh4dn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hqa5sq0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hqa4wbz\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqh4dn/aita_for_forcing_my_son_to_wait_to_marry_his_then/hqa5sq0/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4047, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4047, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Is it possible she\u2019s pregnant and hormonal? Or just that she\u2019s got the ring now and feels safer showing her true colors? Seems like a weird change in her behavior/personality if it caught you all off guard after knowing her for years.", "role": "Prestigious_Fruit267", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Prestigious_Fruit267\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_bmg9bu7u\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Is it possible she\\u2019s pregnant and hormonal? Or just that she\\u2019s got the ring now and feels safer showing her true colors? Seems like a weird change in her behavior/personality if it caught you all off guard after knowing her for years.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Is it possible she\\u2019s pregnant and hormonal? Or just that she\\u2019s got the ring now and feels safer showing her true colors? Seems like a weird change in her behavior/personality if it caught you all off guard after knowing her for years.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1640704160.0, \"created_utc\": 1640704160.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hqa8pcb\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_rqh4dn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hqa8pcb\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hqa5sq0\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqh4dn/aita_for_forcing_my_son_to_wait_to_marry_his_then/hqa8pcb/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1427, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1427, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "736798e039996647", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7c9fd06de1c2b639", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Nah, now she\u2019s got a ring so she feels like she\u2019s \u201cwon.\u201d It\u2019s petty and childish.\n\nAlso - if Fran wants to be a SAHM - OP gave her a huge gift: a debt-free, college-educated husband.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Nah, now she\u2019s got a ring so she feels like she\u2019s \u201cwon.\u201d It\u2019s petty and childish.</p>\n\n<p>Also - if Fran wants to be a SAHM - OP gave her a huge gift: a debt-free, college-educated husband.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1640741308.0, "created_utc": 1640741308.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hqcqi9x", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_rqh4dn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hqcqi9x", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hqa8pcb", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rqh4dn/aita_for_forcing_my_son_to_wait_to_marry_his_then/hqcqi9x/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 12, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 12, "user_reports": []}
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Literally the only things you have to do special is learn ASL, network with a new community, and get a video baby monitor (my child has quieter cries, most deaf children are the same as hearing in this regard).
You would have to network with a new community if you adopted a kid of a different race or the kid ended up being gay, so it's not even that weird of a situation.
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i4vv3t
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2307006e873a93fc
| 1,596,745,721
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Mother of an infant deaf daughter; homeowner; comes from a family/community where divorce is culturally discouraged; has sole custody of child with ex-husband paying child support"}, "interests": ["Legal aspects of custody and parental rights, as evidenced by detailed explanations: 'It's not possible to sign paternal rights unless there's someone willing to adopt. He can sign away a right to any visitation, but he would still have to pay support'", "American Sign Language (ASL) and Deaf community engagement, stating 'I made an effort to start connecting with the Deaf community in my area and learn ASL'", "Genetics and hereditary conditions, demonstrating understanding: 'Oh, I know that, but it's seen as my fault because I carried her and there is also an external physical issue'", "Educational planning for deaf children, mentioning 'I plan to send her to a Deaf school, which I'm sure will be fun'", "Child advocacy and protection from discrimination", "Financial planning for child's future, noting 'That's what the child support is for. I'm saving as much of it as possible for future education costs'", "Medical options and limitations for hearing conditions, addressing 'I already get at least 3 calls/emails a week with articles about surgeries (none of which are possible)'", "Practical parenting adaptations, explaining 'Literally the only things you have to do special is learn ASL, network with a new community, and get a video baby monitor'"], "values": ["Strong child protection instinct, stating 'I don't want my child to grow up in a home where she's hated'", "Acceptance and normalization of deafness, explaining 'Literally the only things you have to do special is learn ASL, network with a new community, and get a video baby monitor'", "Proactive adaptation to challenges rather than viewing them as insurmountable problems", "Commitment to truth and transparency when falsely accused, as shown by publishing text messages to counter ex-husband's lies", "Financial responsibility and long-term planning for child's education needs", "Belief in community building and networking, comparing it to 'if you adopted a kid of a different race or the kid ended up being gay'", "Pragmatic view of parenting that emphasizes practical solutions over emotional reactions", "Resistance to being blamed unfairly, noting 'But because I have it and I'm the mother, it's seen as all me'", "Determination to work within legal systems for permanent solutions, stating 'I am working with my lawyer about more permanent solutions'", "Recognition that her situation, while difficult, is manageable: 'I consider it more of a bullet taken that isn't lethal'"], "communication": ["Concise, direct responses with minimal elaboration, such as 'No. We found out later.'", "Matter-of-fact tone when explaining complex legal or medical information", "Uses parenthetical clarifications to add context: '(my child has quieter cries, most deaf children are the same as this regard)'", "Defensive but measured when addressing criticism or questions about her decisions", "Provides specific factual details rather than emotional appeals", "Often begins responses with brief affirmations or acknowledgments: 'Oh, I know that, but...'", "Uses comparative examples to normalize situations: 'You would have to network with a new community if you adopted a kid of a different race'", "Straightforward reporting of ex-husband's statements: 'According to him, he wanted to be a father but not to this'", "Employs simple sentence structures with occasional compound sentences for explanation", "Maintains consistent perspective focused on practical realities rather than emotional processing"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 20-25 words, with range from 4 words ('No. We found out later.') to 60+ words in longer explanatory responses", "Frequently uses first-person pronouns 'I' and possessive 'my' when discussing child and situation", "Common phrases include 'my child,' 'child support,' 'ASL,' and references to legal/custody arrangements", "Predominantly uses simple declarative sentences with occasional complex sentences for explanations", "Minimal use of emotional language or exclamation points; maintains neutral, informative tone", "Often provides legal or procedural clarifications in response to questions about custody and rights", "Uses quotation marks when directly referencing what others have said to her", "Responses typically structured as direct answers followed by brief supporting details or context"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for telling everyone exactly why I'm getting divorced?\n\nMy ex and I have one child together. We found out during my pregnancy that our child would be deaf, and wouldn't qualify for the surgery that some deaf people are able to get due to a combination of problems. While the external issue is a fluke, the internal issue is apparently something that I always had a 25% chance of passing down to a child. \n\nNot to toot my own horn, but once I learned this, I made an effort to start connecting with the Deaf community in my area and learn ASL. He did not, and while he stayed for the birth, he moved in with his brother right after dropping me off at my home. I own the house, and did before I met him, so it's not part of the divorce. He was nice enough to give me 2 months worth of a cleaning service and a gift card to GrubHub. \n\nHe ended up telling everyone that I am the reason he doesn't see our child, and that I filed for divorce because I overreacted. The truth is that I have sole custody because he cried, in court, that he couldn't \"deal\" with the baby and wanted to just pay support. While I did file, it was because he abandoned me and said so many horrible things that I couldn't get over. \n\nI have text messages he sent me which say that he wouldn't have married me if he knew that we would produce \"problems\" and that he couldn't handle raising a \"r******\" (the only thing wrong with her is hearing). I don't want my child to grow up in a home where she's hated. \n\nI was starting to hear all sorts of crap from my family and his, who started to take his side because divorce isn't really a thing here, so I took action. I made a social media post publishing the text messages so that people would finally see the truth. I'm now getting calls and messages for \"making a private issue public\" and \"parental alienation\". AITA?", "role": "deaf_baby456", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"deaf_baby456\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7l5a5vfa\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1596734203.0, \"created_utc\": 1596734203.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"i4vv3t\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_i4vv3t\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1419, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i4vv3t/aita_for_telling_everyone_exactly_why_im_getting/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26692, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My ex and I have one child together. We found out during my pregnancy that our child would be deaf, and wouldn't qualify for the surgery that some deaf people are able to get due to a combination of problems. While the external issue is a fluke, the internal issue is apparently something that I always had a 25% chance of passing down to a child. \\n\\nNot to toot my own horn, but once I learned this, I made an effort to start connecting with the Deaf community in my area and learn ASL. He did not, and while he stayed for the birth, he moved in with his brother right after dropping me off at my home. I own the house, and did before I met him, so it's not part of the divorce. He was nice enough to give me 2 months worth of a cleaning service and a gift card to GrubHub. \\n\\nHe ended up telling everyone that I am the reason he doesn't see our child, and that I filed for divorce because I overreacted. The truth is that I have sole custody because he cried, in court, that he couldn't \\\"deal\\\" with the baby and wanted to just pay support. While I did file, it was because he abandoned me and said so many horrible things that I couldn't get over. \\n\\nI have text messages he sent me which say that he wouldn't have married me if he knew that we would produce \\\"problems\\\" and that he couldn't handle raising a \\\"r******\\\" (the only thing wrong with her is hearing). I don't want my child to grow up in a home where she's hated. \\n\\nI was starting to hear all sorts of crap from my family and his, who started to take his side because divorce isn't really a thing here, so I took action. I made a social media post publishing the text messages so that people would finally see the truth. I'm now getting calls and messages for \\\"making a private issue public\\\" and \\\"parental alienation\\\". AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My ex and I have one child together. We found out during my pregnancy that our child would be deaf, and wouldn't qualify for the surgery that some deaf people are able to get due to a combination of problems. While the external issue is a fluke, the internal issue is apparently something that I always had a 25% chance of passing down to a child. </p>\\n\\n<p>Not to toot my own horn, but once I learned this, I made an effort to start connecting with the Deaf community in my area and learn ASL. He did not, and while he stayed for the birth, he moved in with his brother right after dropping me off at my home. I own the house, and did before I met him, so it's not part of the divorce. He was nice enough to give me 2 months worth of a cleaning service and a gift card to GrubHub. </p>\\n\\n<p>He ended up telling everyone that I am the reason he doesn't see our child, and that I filed for divorce because I overreacted. The truth is that I have sole custody because he cried, in court, that he couldn't "deal" with the baby and wanted to just pay support. While I did file, it was because he abandoned me and said so many horrible things that I couldn't get over. </p>\\n\\n<p>I have text messages he sent me which say that he wouldn't have married me if he knew that we would produce "problems" and that he couldn't handle raising a "r******" (the only thing wrong with her is hearing). I don't want my child to grow up in a home where she's hated. </p>\\n\\n<p>I was starting to hear all sorts of crap from my family and his, who started to take his side because divorce isn't really a thing here, so I took action. I made a social media post publishing the text messages so that people would finally see the truth. I'm now getting calls and messages for "making a private issue public" and "parental alienation". AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_i4vv3t\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling everyone exactly why I'm getting divorced?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26692, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i4vv3t/aita_for_telling_everyone_exactly_why_im_getting/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. As much as there are people who truly believe they can't handle caring for someone with a disability (let's be honest, not everyone is strong enough), your ex specifically went out of his way to make you look like a horrible person to hide the fact he couldn't handle parenting a deaf child as well as having some disgusting opinions on disabilities overall. You did what you needed to to clear your name and I believe you will be an excellent parent.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. As much as there are people who truly believe they can't handle caring for someone with a disability (let's be honest, not everyone is strong enough), your ex specifically went out of his way to make you look like a horrible person to hide the fact he couldn't handle parenting a deaf child as well as having some disgusting opinions on disabilities overall. You did what you needed to to clear your name and I believe you will be an excellent parent.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. As much as there are people who truly believe they can't handle caring for someone with a disability (let's be honest, not everyone is strong enough), your ex specifically went out of his way to make you look like a horrible person to hide the fact he couldn't handle parenting a deaf child as well as having some disgusting opinions on disabilities overall. You did what you needed to to clear your name and I believe you will be an excellent parent.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596743203.0, \"created_utc\": 1596743203.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0lkcjx\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i4vv3t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0lkcjx\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_i4vv3t\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i4vv3t/aita_for_telling_everyone_exactly_why_im_getting/g0lkcjx/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "2307006e873a93fc", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "84f33800d7785822", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Literally the only things you have to do special is learn ASL, network with a new community, and get a video baby monitor (my child has quieter cries, most deaf children are the same as hearing in this regard).\n\nYou would have to network with a new community if you adopted a kid of a different race or the kid ended up being gay, so it's not even that weird of a situation.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Literally the only things you have to do special is learn ASL, network with a new community, and get a video baby monitor (my child has quieter cries, most deaf children are the same as hearing in this regard).</p>\n\n<p>You would have to network with a new community if you adopted a kid of a different race or the kid ended up being gay, so it's not even that weird of a situation.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1596745721.0, "created_utc": 1596745721.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1596746084.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g0lpq30", "is_submitter": true, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_i4vv3t", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g0lpq30", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g0lkcjx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i4vv3t/aita_for_telling_everyone_exactly_why_im_getting/g0lpq30/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 78, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 78, "user_reports": []}
|
But why have the people working the desk be uncomfortable? It’s not their fault that the store has 1 changing table.
|
vkbtw7
|
ce05492ca835da8e
| 1,656,175,822
| 7
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "40s-50s (based on having adult biological son who found them, having a 12-year-old child, and elementary school friend with adult sons)", "gender": "Female (references being a 'birth mom', former SAHM, and having a fianc\u00e9)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Currently employed after 4 years of job searching post-unemployment; previously was SAHM for 6 years", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Birth mother who gave child up for adoption and was reunited in 2021; left abusive relationship; has at least one child around 12 years old; engaged to be married"}, "interests": ["Adoption dynamics and birth parent/adoptive parent relationships, as evidenced by detailed response about being a birth mom and stating 'I am not his mom! I am just what was used to get him to his real parents'", "Family relationship boundaries and toxic family behavior, particularly commenting on situations involving family manipulation and hazing", "Parenting challenges and child welfare, consistently engaging with posts about children's needs and proper parenting", "Employment discrimination against parents, especially mothers, sharing personal experience: 'The amount of time it took for me to find a job after I left an abusive relationship, where I had been a SAHM for 6 years, was ridiculous!'", "Workplace dynamics and corporate hierarchy, noting 'corporate will listen to a regional manager more than a customer service employee'", "Relationship red flags and partner accountability, frequently calling out problematic behavior in marriages", "Standing up for vulnerable family members, expressing admiration for protective parents", "Child development and personality differences in children, showing understanding of introverted children"], "values": ["Strong belief that adoptive parents are the 'real parents', stating emphatically 'I am not his mom! I am just what was used to get him to his real parents'", "Zero tolerance for manipulation of children by adults, noting 'the other females join in probably because they know if they don't, it will be them getting bullied again'", "Fierce protectiveness of children, declaring 'I'm an extrovert, this is still enough to divorce over. I don't play when it comes to my kids!'", "Belief in immediate consequences for boundary violations, stating 'You don't get to pull a stunt like this on MY WEDDING DAY, then change once I stick up for myself!'", "Respect for adoptive family bonds over biological connections, expressing she would be 'very upset' if her biological son acted like Tiffany", "Accountability and direct communication in relationships, consistently advocating for apologies and consequences", "Recognition of cycle-breaking behavior in families, praising those who stand up against toxic patterns", "Understanding of employment barriers for parents, particularly mothers returning to workforce", "Belief in practical problem-solving, suggesting alternatives like 'Why didn't she look to sell her plasma? Ask mom for a loan?'", "Appreciation for supportive parenting, expressing desire to 'be adopted by her also!' when seeing good parenting examples"], "communication": ["Highly personal and self-disclosing, frequently sharing own experiences like 'I am a birth mom' and 'I left an abusive relationship'", "Uses emphatic punctuation extensively, particularly exclamation points for emphasis: 'I don't play when it comes to my kids!'", "Conversational and direct tone, using phrases like 'get out!' and casual language", "Often relates others' situations to personal experience, beginning responses with 'I have...' or 'My...'", "Uses rhetorical questions for emphasis: 'What's he going to do for money when you are out of a job?'", "Employs humor and sarcasm, using emojis like '\ud83e\udd23' when making points about workplace dynamics", "Short to medium length responses, typically 2-4 sentences with clear, punchy statements", "Capitalizes words for emphasis: 'MY WEDDING DAY' and uses all caps occasionally", "Informal grammar and contractions, writing as if speaking: 'could-ve', 'I'd'", "Direct address to original posters, giving advice in second person: 'You should...'", "Uses colloquial expressions: 'I have a black thumb' and 'I don't play when it comes to'"], "statistics": ["Average response length: 35-45 words, with range from 8 words minimum ('You are awesome!') to 120 words maximum (adoption manipulation story)", "Frequently uses exclamation points, appearing in nearly every response for emphasis", "Common phrases include: 'I am/I have' (personal disclosure), 'my kid/my son' (parenting references), 'would be/would have' (hypothetical scenarios)", "Sentence structure varies from single emphatic statements to longer narrative paragraphs when sharing personal stories", "Uses first-person perspective almost exclusively, centering responses on personal experience", "Employs questions frequently, both rhetorical and direct, averaging 1-2 questions per response", "Casual punctuation style with frequent use of contractions and informal grammar", "Response pattern shows immediate emotional engagement with topics involving children, family, or injustice"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for going into the ladies room?\n\nI am a 31 yo man and was at a large store yesterday with my 5mo son when he did what babies do. I went over to the restrooms and saw that there wasn't a family/companion restroom, just a men's and women's. I went into the men's room and saw there was a cubicle and a few urinals, but no changing table. The sink didn't have a counter either.\n\nI walked out and hunted down an employee to ask where the changing table was. She said it was in the bathroom, and I asked where, assuming there was a family/companion restroom on the other side of the store. She took me back to where I just was. I asked if there was another bathroom, and she said no. I told her I was just in the bathroom and there was no changing table. She asked if I was sure and suggested I look again.\n\nI was annoyed, but I went back in the men's room. No changing table. When I came out the employee was gone. Keep in mind, my son has been in his poopy diaper this whole time. So I give up and head into the lady's room which sure enough had a changing table. There was a woman in there washing her hands, and she said \"wrong bathroom, buddy.\"\n\nI gestured to my son and said \"no changing table in the men's room.\" She laughed and said \"bro, that sucks.\" Then she walked out. So I rush to change him, hoping to be done before anyone else walked in. I'm almost done when a woman walks in and starts screaming at me. I tried to explain what I was doing, but she kept screaming \"Get out! You can't be here!\" Then she ran out.\n\nI finished putting the diaper on and rushed out of the bathroom. I saw the woman talking to an employee and decided to leave without my stuff. The employee tried to wave me down and stop me, but I rushed out to my car, buckled my son into his carseat and left.\n\nMy wife said I absolutely did the right thing, but my mom said I'm an idiot and was 100% in the wrong. My sister won't stop laughing at me and is no help at all. AITA?", "role": "rocksandhardplaces1", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"rocksandhardplaces1\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_p5d860hn\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1656151528.0, \"created_utc\": 1656151528.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"vkbtw7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2607, \"num_crossposts\": 0, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23011, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I am a 31 yo man and was at a large store yesterday with my 5mo son when he did what babies do. I went over to the restrooms and saw that there wasn't a family/companion restroom, just a men's and women's. I went into the men's room and saw there was a cubicle and a few urinals, but no changing table. The sink didn't have a counter either.\\n\\nI walked out and hunted down an employee to ask where the changing table was. She said it was in the bathroom, and I asked where, assuming there was a family/companion restroom on the other side of the store. She took me back to where I just was. I asked if there was another bathroom, and she said no. I told her I was just in the bathroom and there was no changing table. She asked if I was sure and suggested I look again.\\n\\nI was annoyed, but I went back in the men's room. No changing table. When I came out the employee was gone. Keep in mind, my son has been in his poopy diaper this whole time. So I give up and head into the lady's room which sure enough had a changing table. There was a woman in there washing her hands, and she said \\\"wrong bathroom, buddy.\\\"\\n\\nI gestured to my son and said \\\"no changing table in the men's room.\\\" She laughed and said \\\"bro, that sucks.\\\" Then she walked out. So I rush to change him, hoping to be done before anyone else walked in. I'm almost done when a woman walks in and starts screaming at me. I tried to explain what I was doing, but she kept screaming \\\"Get out! You can't be here!\\\" Then she ran out.\\n\\nI finished putting the diaper on and rushed out of the bathroom. I saw the woman talking to an employee and decided to leave without my stuff. The employee tried to wave me down and stop me, but I rushed out to my car, buckled my son into his carseat and left.\\n\\nMy wife said I absolutely did the right thing, but my mom said I'm an idiot and was 100% in the wrong. My sister won't stop laughing at me and is no help at all. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I am a 31 yo man and was at a large store yesterday with my 5mo son when he did what babies do. I went over to the restrooms and saw that there wasn't a family/companion restroom, just a men's and women's. I went into the men's room and saw there was a cubicle and a few urinals, but no changing table. The sink didn't have a counter either.</p>\\n\\n<p>I walked out and hunted down an employee to ask where the changing table was. She said it was in the bathroom, and I asked where, assuming there was a family/companion restroom on the other side of the store. She took me back to where I just was. I asked if there was another bathroom, and she said no. I told her I was just in the bathroom and there was no changing table. She asked if I was sure and suggested I look again.</p>\\n\\n<p>I was annoyed, but I went back in the men's room. No changing table. When I came out the employee was gone. Keep in mind, my son has been in his poopy diaper this whole time. So I give up and head into the lady's room which sure enough had a changing table. There was a woman in there washing her hands, and she said "wrong bathroom, buddy."</p>\\n\\n<p>I gestured to my son and said "no changing table in the men's room." She laughed and said "bro, that sucks." Then she walked out. So I rush to change him, hoping to be done before anyone else walked in. I'm almost done when a woman walks in and starts screaming at me. I tried to explain what I was doing, but she kept screaming "Get out! You can't be here!" Then she ran out.</p>\\n\\n<p>I finished putting the diaper on and rushed out of the bathroom. I saw the woman talking to an employee and decided to leave without my stuff. The employee tried to wave me down and stop me, but I rushed out to my car, buckled my son into his carseat and left.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife said I absolutely did the right thing, but my mom said I'm an idiot and was 100% in the wrong. My sister won't stop laughing at me and is no help at all. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for going into the ladies room?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23011, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA \n\n\nThat store is 100% to blame for this. I wouldn't be shocked if they've received complaints about this in the past and haven't done anything about it. Your mom was way out of line. You needed to change your kid. What'd she expect you to do, change him on the floor??? Drive home with him in a dirty diaper??? Your wife is right. You did the right thing and that lady was rude. Who does that?!? Screams at a father for changing his kid's dirty diaper.....", "role": "SigSauerPower320", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SigSauerPower320\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#eeb800\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"edf63c82-a710-11e9-959b-0eb47b028ff2\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Craptain [183]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_b74ioy9f\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA \\n\\n\\nThat store is 100% to blame for this. I wouldn't be shocked if they've received complaints about this in the past and haven't done anything about it. Your mom was way out of line. You needed to change your kid. What'd she expect you to do, change him on the floor??? Drive home with him in a dirty diaper??? Your wife is right. You did the right thing and that lady was rude. Who does that?!? Screams at a father for changing his kid's dirty diaper.....\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA </p>\\n\\n<p>That store is 100% to blame for this. I wouldn't be shocked if they've received complaints about this in the past and haven't done anything about it. Your mom was way out of line. You needed to change your kid. What'd she expect you to do, change him on the floor??? Drive home with him in a dirty diaper??? Your wife is right. You did the right thing and that lady was rude. Who does that?!? Screams at a father for changing his kid's dirty diaper.....</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656153444.0, \"created_utc\": 1656153444.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ido96vp\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ido96vp\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/ido96vp/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 17975, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 17975, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yeah, OP did the right thing. As a woman, I wouldn't even have given him a second look. He was at the changing table with a baby, what do you think he was doing? \n\nThis isn't the first time I've heard that a lot of stores do not have changing tables in the men's restrooms. I always assumed that they were in both. I was so wrong.", "role": "Evil_Mel", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Evil_Mel\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#c7a509\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d5e9f50c-a710-11e9-895a-0ec19882c37a\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Pooperintendant [65]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3naipu27\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yeah, OP did the right thing. As a woman, I wouldn't even have given him a second look. He was at the changing table with a baby, what do you think he was doing? \\n\\nThis isn't the first time I've heard that a lot of stores do not have changing tables in the men's restrooms. I always assumed that they were in both. I was so wrong.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yeah, OP did the right thing. As a woman, I wouldn't even have given him a second look. He was at the changing table with a baby, what do you think he was doing? </p>\\n\\n<p>This isn't the first time I've heard that a lot of stores do not have changing tables in the men's restrooms. I always assumed that they were in both. I was so wrong.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656160700.0, \"created_utc\": 1656160700.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"idoj765\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_idoj765\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ido96vp\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/idoj765/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5611, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5611, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Most don't have them in mens rooms in my experience. They either only have them for women, or there's one \"family restroom\". My husband would always complain to a manager. Nothing ever happened", "role": "act006", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"act006\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9prom0cg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Most don't have them in mens rooms in my experience. They either only have them for women, or there's one \\\"family restroom\\\". My husband would always complain to a manager. Nothing ever happened\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Most don't have them in mens rooms in my experience. They either only have them for women, or there's one "family restroom". My husband would always complain to a manager. Nothing ever happened</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656165592.0, \"created_utc\": 1656165592.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"idorziu\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, 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false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2124, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Maybe if people start changing their babies on the customer service desk in stores that can't be bothered to be properly equipped, the stores will start to rethink this outdated sexist bs.", "role": "Beesindogwood", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Beesindogwood\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2x62hj7d\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Maybe if people start changing their babies on the customer service desk in stores that can't be bothered to be properly equipped, the stores will start to rethink this outdated sexist bs.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Maybe if people start changing their babies on the customer service desk in stores that can't be bothered to be properly equipped, the stores will start to rethink this outdated sexist bs.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": 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And if you think the higher ups listen to them? \ud83e\udd23 \n\nOP should have changed it on the manager\u2019s desk. Or asked the employee to please use the manager\u2019s garbage can to throw out the diaper. That\u2019s when things will change.", "role": "One-Basket-9570", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"One-Basket-9570\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_c3hiu4u5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I have worked the customer service desk, they have no authority! And if you think the higher ups listen to them? \\ud83e\\udd23 \\n\\nOP should have changed it on the manager\\u2019s desk. Or asked the employee to please use the manager\\u2019s garbage can to throw out the diaper. That\\u2019s when things will change.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I have worked the customer service desk, they have no authority! And if you think the higher ups listen to them? \\ud83e\\udd23 </p>\\n\\n<p>OP should have changed it on the manager\\u2019s desk. Or asked the employee to please use the manager\\u2019s garbage can to throw out the diaper. That\\u2019s when things will change.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656171528.0, \"created_utc\": 1656171528.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"idp4ku7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_idp4ku7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_idou3vw\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/idp4ku7/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 279, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 279, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "That would be a great option, if you could get access to the Manager's office - not too likely in my experience. But the Manager's office tends to be near the Customer service desk.", "role": "Beesindogwood", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Beesindogwood\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2x62hj7d\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"That would be a great option, if you could get access to the Manager's office - not too likely in my experience. But the Manager's office tends to be near the Customer service desk.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>That would be a great option, if you could get access to the Manager's office - not too likely in my experience. But the Manager's office tends to be near the Customer service desk.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656172672.0, \"created_utc\": 1656172672.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"idp75ng\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vkbtw7\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_idp75ng\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_idp4ku7\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/idp75ng/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 18, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 18, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ce05492ca835da8e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "037ff2a0c4a089a6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "But why have the people working the desk be uncomfortable? It\u2019s not their fault that the store has 1 changing table.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>But why have the people working the desk be uncomfortable? It\u2019s not their fault that the store has 1 changing table.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1656175822.0, "created_utc": 1656175822.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "idped3t", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_vkbtw7", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_idped3t", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_idp75ng", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vkbtw7/aita_for_going_into_the_ladies_room/idped3t/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 12, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 12, "user_reports": []}
|
Nta you called out an unfair situation and you should take it further
|
f0rue1
|
fc0e2c4ffa4c9c9a
| 1,581,170,375
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA (likely 25-45 based on having a young daughter and references to family members)", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA (likely English-speaking country with COVID hospital restrictions)", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent with at least one daughter; mentions 'I opened a bank account just after my daughter was born that can't be touched till she's 18'"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and parenting conflicts, particularly custody and child welfare issues", "Inheritance disputes and financial fairness within families", "Animal welfare and pet ownership rights, especially regarding cats and dogs", "Relationship boundaries and manipulation in romantic partnerships", "Justice and accountability in interpersonal conflicts", "College funding and educational financial planning", "Reproductive coercion and consent issues in relationships", "Privilege assumptions and social judgment", "HOA conflicts and neighborhood disputes", "Legal recourse and proper channels for resolving disputes", "Grief and loss, showing empathy with 'I'm so sorry for your loss'", "Standing up against unfair treatment and calling out injustice"], "values": ["Strong belief in fairness and equal treatment, stating 'you called out an unfair situation and you should take it further'", "Opposition to manipulation and deception, particularly regarding baby-trapping: 'she can go the legal ways of seeing her kids because than at least you know she's clean'", "Protection of vulnerable parties including children and animals: 'kinda shocking how people can just toss away animals (especially ones that have been around that long)'", "Accountability for one's actions, noting 'She sounds like she wants the glory and attention i bet if her son got into trouble she wouldn't want to know him'", "Anti-snitching stance: 'Nta no one likes a snitch'", "Respect for property and boundaries: 'This all would have been avoided if the new neighbours had respect for other people's property'", "Support for legal and proper channels over vigilante action", "Empathy for loss and difficult situations while maintaining moral clarity", "Opposition to entitlement and people who 'cry when she didnt get her way'", "Value of trust and healthy relationships, praising 'His girlfriend is definitely a keeper'", "Belief in consequences for poor behavior: 'You dodged an asshole there'", "Financial responsibility and protecting children's futures through proper planning"], "communication": ["Extremely concise responses, typically 1-2 sentences averaging 10-15 words", "Frequent use of Reddit judgment abbreviations like 'NTA' (Not The Asshole)", "Casual, conversational tone with informal grammar: 'than' instead of 'then', lowercase starts", "Direct and declarative statements without hedging or qualification", "Uses ellipses for dramatic pause or emphasis: 'the stuff about your husband.....not so much'", "Asks clarifying questions when information seems missing: 'Info why can't your stepdaughter move in with your mother in law'", "Employs brief expressions of sympathy: 'I'm so sorry for you loss'", "Sometimes adds personal anecdotes to relate: 'This happened to my aunt her kids were in college'", "Uses emphatic language: 'just ridiculous', 'poor cat'", "Occasionally makes predictions about behavior: 'Bet Matt won't be assuming a strangers privilege for a while'", "Minimal use of punctuation and capitalization for casual effect"], "statistics": ["Average response length: 10-15 words per response", "Minimum response length: 4 words ('I'm so sorry for you loss')", "Maximum response length: approximately 35 words (bank account explanation)", "Most frequent phrases: 'NTA', variations of 'happy/happiness', 'sounds like', 'you/your'", "Common sentence structure: Simple declarative statements with minimal subordinate clauses", "Frequent use of informal contractions and casual grammar", "Typical response format: Brief judgment followed by short explanation or observation", "Uses questions in approximately 20% of responses to seek clarification"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for telling the judge of a scholarship competition that if she already knew who she wanted to win, to cut the crap and just let us all go home?\n\nI'm in high school, we had a final presentation before winter break, and we had judges from the community come in to reward the best presentations. Like not actual court room judges, just people who were involved in stuff locally. The prize was some scholarship money for college. \n\nOur classrooms judge was a mom who in the school board and when we were doing the presentations she was showing really obvious favoritism to her daughter's best friend who i know is tight with that family. I know her presentation wasn't even her own, it was plagarized a lot and not very good, I saw her doing it in the computer lab days earlier.\n\nIt was annoying how the \"outside judge\"kept going back to coo over this one presentation even after everyone had moved on and other people had presented. It was super awkward, like she was praising this one girl after a different kid had just presented?? Like maybe pay attention to the person who's at the podium, not your little favorite??\n\nIt was my turn but I'd already seen her phoning it in when watching the last few, playing on her phone even! Not paying attention. I felt like it was pretty obvious she'd already decided who would would win. And that frustrated me, I'd worked really hard on mine and if her behavior is in the last few presentations was gonna continue, I knew she wouldn't even be listening.\n\nSo I went up and said \"Look, we all know you already know who you're gonna give the prize to, we've all seen you play on your phone and ignore everyone who came after your daughters best friend, so can we just cut the crap and go home? I'm not gonna stand up here and give a presentation to someone who's disrespecting our efforts and playing on their phone when anyone who's not a friend of your family is talking.\"\n\nShe sure paid attention then, and went to talk to my teacher in a whisper. My teacher sent me to the principal's office. \n\nThe girl I expected to win, won... No surprise there. But I felt good I'd at least said something. A bunch of my friends in class said I was totally right when I called out that BS, and we all knew it, I wasn't saying anything we didn't all see.\n\nMy principal kept telling me that it didn't seem like I was taking my college apps seriously and I said that I didn't think I'd be going to college, I got stuck with debt already and I'm gonna need a job right away this spring. Anyway I got detention\n\nAITA for saying what I did instead of doing my final presentation for the project?\n\nEdit - I just found out that the girl who got the scholarship money decided to decline it and give it to the student who had the best grade in the class. I don't know if it was because I called stuff out and she felt guilty, but I think it might be.", "role": "treehuggiezz", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"treehuggiezz\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5eoymlic\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1581170004.0, \"created_utc\": 1581170004.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1581187784.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"f0rue1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_f0rue1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1169, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f0rue1/aita_for_telling_the_judge_of_a_scholarship/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27692, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"\\nI'm in high school, we had a final presentation before winter break, and we had judges from the community come in to reward the best presentations. Like not actual court room judges, just people who were involved in stuff locally. The prize was some scholarship money for college. \\n\\nOur classrooms judge was a mom who in the school board and when we were doing the presentations she was showing really obvious favoritism to her daughter's best friend who i know is tight with that family. I know her presentation wasn't even her own, it was plagarized a lot and not very good, I saw her doing it in the computer lab days earlier.\\n\\nIt was annoying how the \\\"outside judge\\\"kept going back to coo over this one presentation even after everyone had moved on and other people had presented. It was super awkward, like she was praising this one girl after a different kid had just presented?? Like maybe pay attention to the person who's at the podium, not your little favorite??\\n\\nIt was my turn but I'd already seen her phoning it in when watching the last few, playing on her phone even! Not paying attention. I felt like it was pretty obvious she'd already decided who would would win. And that frustrated me, I'd worked really hard on mine and if her behavior is in the last few presentations was gonna continue, I knew she wouldn't even be listening.\\n\\nSo I went up and said \\\"Look, we all know you already know who you're gonna give the prize to, we've all seen you play on your phone and ignore everyone who came after your daughters best friend, so can we just cut the crap and go home? I'm not gonna stand up here and give a presentation to someone who's disrespecting our efforts and playing on their phone when anyone who's not a friend of your family is talking.\\\"\\n\\nShe sure paid attention then, and went to talk to my teacher in a whisper. My teacher sent me to the principal's office. \\n\\nThe girl I expected to win, won... No surprise there. But I felt good I'd at least said something. A bunch of my friends in class said I was totally right when I called out that BS, and we all knew it, I wasn't saying anything we didn't all see.\\n\\nMy principal kept telling me that it didn't seem like I was taking my college apps seriously and I said that I didn't think I'd be going to college, I got stuck with debt already and I'm gonna need a job right away this spring. Anyway I got detention\\n\\nAITA for saying what I did instead of doing my final presentation for the project?\\n\\nEdit - I just found out that the girl who got the scholarship money decided to decline it and give it to the student who had the best grade in the class. I don't know if it was because I called stuff out and she felt guilty, but I think it might be.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm in high school, we had a final presentation before winter break, and we had judges from the community come in to reward the best presentations. Like not actual court room judges, just people who were involved in stuff locally. The prize was some scholarship money for college. </p>\\n\\n<p>Our classrooms judge was a mom who in the school board and when we were doing the presentations she was showing really obvious favoritism to her daughter's best friend who i know is tight with that family. I know her presentation wasn't even her own, it was plagarized a lot and not very good, I saw her doing it in the computer lab days earlier.</p>\\n\\n<p>It was annoying how the "outside judge"kept going back to coo over this one presentation even after everyone had moved on and other people had presented. It was super awkward, like she was praising this one girl after a different kid had just presented?? Like maybe pay attention to the person who's at the podium, not your little favorite??</p>\\n\\n<p>It was my turn but I'd already seen her phoning it in when watching the last few, playing on her phone even! Not paying attention. I felt like it was pretty obvious she'd already decided who would would win. And that frustrated me, I'd worked really hard on mine and if her behavior is in the last few presentations was gonna continue, I knew she wouldn't even be listening.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I went up and said "Look, we all know you already know who you're gonna give the prize to, we've all seen you play on your phone and ignore everyone who came after your daughters best friend, so can we just cut the crap and go home? I'm not gonna stand up here and give a presentation to someone who's disrespecting our efforts and playing on their phone when anyone who's not a friend of your family is talking."</p>\\n\\n<p>She sure paid attention then, and went to talk to my teacher in a whisper. My teacher sent me to the principal's office. </p>\\n\\n<p>The girl I expected to win, won... No surprise there. But I felt good I'd at least said something. A bunch of my friends in class said I was totally right when I called out that BS, and we all knew it, I wasn't saying anything we didn't all see.</p>\\n\\n<p>My principal kept telling me that it didn't seem like I was taking my college apps seriously and I said that I didn't think I'd be going to college, I got stuck with debt already and I'm gonna need a job right away this spring. Anyway I got detention</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for saying what I did instead of doing my final presentation for the project?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit - I just found out that the girl who got the scholarship money decided to decline it and give it to the student who had the best grade in the class. I don't know if it was because I called stuff out and she felt guilty, but I think it might be.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_f0rue1\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling the judge of a scholarship competition that if she already knew who she wanted to win, to cut the crap and just let us all go home?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27692, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f0rue1/aita_for_telling_the_judge_of_a_scholarship/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "fc0e2c4ffa4c9c9a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [6]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "2d02b15a9ee0c9c4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Nta you called out an unfair situation and you should take it further", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Nta you called out an unfair situation and you should take it further</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1581170375.0, "created_utc": 1581170375.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fgx8ziz", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_f0rue1", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fgx8ziz", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_f0rue1", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f0rue1/aita_for_telling_the_judge_of_a_scholarship/fgx8ziz/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 833, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 833, "user_reports": []}
|
i wish you had a link for that
|
h79apz
|
f075f30b8fa5e79b
| 1,591,929,654
| 6
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (refers to 'my husband' and positions herself as wife in the dishwasher joke: 'he said to me \"i wish we had a dishwasher\" and i patted his back and said \"i do!\"')", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married (mentions 'my husband' in multiple posts); has past experience with heroin use ('yeah i spent a summer when i was like 18 snorting and shooting heroin and i eventually stopped')"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and conflicts (engages with posts about parent-child relationships, sibling rivalries, and in-law issues)", "Wedding etiquette and traditions (comments on posts about wedding meals, last name changes, and wedding party conflicts)", "Medical crises and terminal illness (shows deep engagement with posts about cancer, mastectomies, and end-of-life care)", "Substance abuse and recovery (shares personal experience: 'spent a summer when i was like 18 snorting and shooting heroin and i eventually stopped')", "Marital relationships and household dynamics (shares anecdotes about interactions with husband)", "Gender roles and sexism in relationships (engages with posts about traditional gender expectations)", "Parenting and child protection (strongly supports posts about protecting children from harmful situations)", "Interpersonal boundaries and standing up for oneself (consistently validates people who set boundaries)", "Humor in difficult situations (appreciates and makes jokes, like 'upvoted for \"fart on the card\" lmao')", "Reddit post patterns and reposts (notes 'I could swear I've read this exact thing before')", "Mystery and suspicious behavior in relationships (engages with posts about potentially deceptive partners)", "Disability awareness and accommodation conflicts (engages with post about diabetes vs. Prader-Willi syndrome)"], "values": ["Strong support for victims of unfair treatment (tells OP whose mother was dying: 'your father was a huge, massive asshole and you did the right thing. NTA')", "Anti-sexism and gender equality (supports woman wanting to give her last name: engages positively with discussion of traditional gender roles)", "Compassion for people dealing with serious illness ('first, op i'm so sorry you've had to endure this. i'm sure your mom is beyond her pain and suffering now')", "Belief in personal autonomy and bodily autonomy (suggests 'get an abortion and a divorce' for woman with controlling husband)", "Support for addiction recovery and non-judgment of past mistakes (shares own heroin experience matter-of-factly without shame)", "Accountability for harmful behavior (supports son who prevented father from seeing dying mother after father's betrayal)", "Protection of children from emotional harm (strongly supports father who left dinner when daughter was uncomfortable about her scar)", "Appreciation for healthy marriages and relationships (comments 'i hope your marriage lasted longer than their gift. :)')", "Humor as coping mechanism (makes light-hearted jokes even in serious discussions)", "Standing up against manipulation and gaslighting (validates people who refuse to apologize for reasonable actions)", "Skepticism toward suspicious behavior (suggests investigating husband's mysterious 5AM walks)", "Empathy for being caught off-guard in confrontational situations ('I've had that happen to me and I *hate* it')"], "communication": ["Casual, conversational tone with minimal capitalization (most responses start with lowercase letters)", "Frequent use of personal anecdotes to relate to others ('my husband was washing the dishes one night and i was keeping him company')", "Employs humor and playful language ('upvoted for \"fart on the card\" lmao', 'he didn't think it was as funny as i did. hehe')", "Uses emoticons and internet expressions (';.;', ':)', 'lmao', 'hehe', 'wtf')", "Makes cultural references (Stephen King's 'The Stand': 'M-O-O-N, that spells nailed it')", "Expresses empathy and support directly ('first, op i'm so sorry you've had to endure this')", "Short to moderate response lengths, rarely exceeding 60 words", "Informal punctuation with frequent use of exclamation points for emphasis", "Often begins responses with agreement or validation ('Yeah', 'That's a really great point', 'God dang it')", "Uses self-deprecating humor ('Yeah I feel like an AH suggesting it')", "Conversational sentence structure with run-on sentences and minimal formal grammar", "Direct and honest communication style, not afraid to express strong opinions"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 30-40 words", "Minimum response length: 8 words ('i wish you had a link for that')", "Maximum response length: approximately 60 words (abortion/divorce comment)", "Frequent phrases: 'i wish', 'that's a really great point', 'i'm so sorry', 'lmao', 'hehe'", "Consistent use of lowercase for sentence beginnings and 'i' pronoun", "Heavy use of exclamation points for emphasis and enthusiasm", "Minimal use of formal punctuation (commas, semicolons)", "Often includes personal pronouns ('i', 'my', 'me') when sharing anecdotes", "Sentence structure varies from simple short statements to longer run-on sentences", "Frequent use of contractions ('i'm', 'didn't', 'wouldn't', 'that's')"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for asking my friend for a \u201cboob-voyage\u201d party?\n\nA while ago, my doctor found a cancerous lump in my breast. Thankfully it was stage 1, but I did end up having a mastectomy. It was a stressful time, and when my friend was over a few days before my surgery, we got on the topic of the \u201cboob-voyage\u201d party from Jane the virgin. I asked her if she would throw me one of those parties to help me get my mind off it. \n\nI thought she would put together just a small girls night, but she went all out. She invited all of my friends and my boyfriend and had an array of boob paraphernalia. It was funny and lighthearted and meant a lot to me to get all that support from my friends.\n\nDuring my recovery, my boyfriend confronted me and said that he hated the boob party, he thought it was tacky, and he was offended that I hadn\u2019t asked him to put something together instead. He said that we were supposed to be going through it together and I should have thought about his feelings and the fact that he doesn\u2019t like parties and wouldn\u2019t want to spend one of the nights leading up to my surgery like that. I told him that I\u2019m sorry he felt that way, but it was really helpful for me and I was the one getting surgery and treatment. I told him I wanted to support him but my feelings had to take priority under those particular circumstances and the party helped me. He\u2019s still angry at me for refusing to apologize for asking my friend to throw the party without asking how he felt about it first. It comes up now and again and he still wants me to apologize. AITA?", "role": "Coyote-Psychological", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Coyote-Psychological\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6qnespzj\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1591918423.0, \"created_utc\": 1591918423.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"h79apz\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_h79apz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1906, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/h79apz/aita_for_asking_my_friend_for_a_boobvoyage_party/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23719, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"A while ago, my doctor found a cancerous lump in my breast. Thankfully it was stage 1, but I did end up having a mastectomy. It was a stressful time, and when my friend was over a few days before my surgery, we got on the topic of the \\u201cboob-voyage\\u201d party from Jane the virgin. I asked her if she would throw me one of those parties to help me get my mind off it. \\n\\nI thought she would put together just a small girls night, but she went all out. She invited all of my friends and my boyfriend and had an array of boob paraphernalia. It was funny and lighthearted and meant a lot to me to get all that support from my friends.\\n\\nDuring my recovery, my boyfriend confronted me and said that he hated the boob party, he thought it was tacky, and he was offended that I hadn\\u2019t asked him to put something together instead. He said that we were supposed to be going through it together and I should have thought about his feelings and the fact that he doesn\\u2019t like parties and wouldn\\u2019t want to spend one of the nights leading up to my surgery like that. I told him that I\\u2019m sorry he felt that way, but it was really helpful for me and I was the one getting surgery and treatment. I told him I wanted to support him but my feelings had to take priority under those particular circumstances and the party helped me. He\\u2019s still angry at me for refusing to apologize for asking my friend to throw the party without asking how he felt about it first. It comes up now and again and he still wants me to apologize. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>A while ago, my doctor found a cancerous lump in my breast. Thankfully it was stage 1, but I did end up having a mastectomy. It was a stressful time, and when my friend was over a few days before my surgery, we got on the topic of the \\u201cboob-voyage\\u201d party from Jane the virgin. I asked her if she would throw me one of those parties to help me get my mind off it. </p>\\n\\n<p>I thought she would put together just a small girls night, but she went all out. She invited all of my friends and my boyfriend and had an array of boob paraphernalia. It was funny and lighthearted and meant a lot to me to get all that support from my friends.</p>\\n\\n<p>During my recovery, my boyfriend confronted me and said that he hated the boob party, he thought it was tacky, and he was offended that I hadn\\u2019t asked him to put something together instead. He said that we were supposed to be going through it together and I should have thought about his feelings and the fact that he doesn\\u2019t like parties and wouldn\\u2019t want to spend one of the nights leading up to my surgery like that. I told him that I\\u2019m sorry he felt that way, but it was really helpful for me and I was the one getting surgery and treatment. I told him I wanted to support him but my feelings had to take priority under those particular circumstances and the party helped me. He\\u2019s still angry at me for refusing to apologize for asking my friend to throw the party without asking how he felt about it first. It comes up now and again and he still wants me to apologize. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_h79apz\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for asking my friend for a \\u201cboob-voyage\\u201d party?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23719, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/h79apz/aita_for_asking_my_friend_for_a_boobvoyage_party/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "So you went through a life changing experience and he made it all about himself? NTA.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"So you went through a life changing experience and he made it all about himself? NTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>So you went through a life changing experience and he made it all about himself? NTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1591918525.0, \"created_utc\": 1591918525.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ftr0xo1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, 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\"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 34502, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "You probably would be very shocked how many men make their wife\u2019s or partner\u2019s diagnosis all about them. \n\nHell my father made my ovarian cancer diagnosis in my teens all about him..", "role": "Thatvideogamenerd", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Thatvideogamenerd\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5na4q01p\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"You probably would be very shocked how many men make their wife\\u2019s or partner\\u2019s diagnosis all about them. \\n\\nHell my father made my ovarian cancer diagnosis in my teens all about him..\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>You probably would be very shocked how many men make their wife\\u2019s or partner\\u2019s diagnosis all about them. </p>\\n\\n<p>Hell my father made my ovarian cancer diagnosis in my teens all about him..</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1591920226.0, \"created_utc\": 1591920226.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ftr3yj7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, 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\"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 11258, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yep. Pretty unforgettable that in the US, when a man is suffering through a serious illness, his chances of his wife leaving him plummet to 5%. When a woman is suffering through a serious illness, her chances of her husband leaving her jump way up to 20-25%.", "role": "therearedozensofus12", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"therearedozensofus12\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_lpll5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yep. Pretty unforgettable that in the US, when a man is suffering through a serious illness, his chances of his wife leaving him plummet to 5%. When a woman is suffering through a serious illness, her chances of her husband leaving her jump way up to 20-25%.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yep. Pretty unforgettable that in the US, when a man is suffering through a serious illness, his chances of his wife leaving him plummet to 5%. When a woman is suffering through a serious illness, her chances of her husband leaving her jump way up to 20-25%.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1591925814.0, \"created_utc\": 1591925814.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ftrdfu0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": 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null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 8569, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yeah it is pretty unforgivable if you ask me. \n\nIt shows the differences on how men and women are raised as well as how society views them.", "role": "Thatvideogamenerd", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, 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null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"hufflepuff777\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5blnluzi\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Or the guy on here who asked if he was an asshole for grounding his daughter because she didn\\u2019t support him cheating on his wife who was dying of cancer.\\n\\nEdit: found the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fpks9q/aita_for_punishing_my_daughter_for_not_coming_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Or the guy on here who asked if he was an asshole for grounding his daughter because she didn\\u2019t support him cheating on his wife who was dying of cancer.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: found the link: <a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fpks9q/aita_for_punishing_my_daughter_for_not_coming_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf\\\">https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fpks9q/aita_for_punishing_my_daughter_for_not_coming_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf</a></p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1591929052.0, \"created_utc\": 1591929052.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1591930310.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ftrirt0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_h79apz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ftrirt0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ftrelyh\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/h79apz/aita_for_asking_my_friend_for_a_boobvoyage_party/ftrirt0/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 392, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 392, 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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "f075f30b8fa5e79b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "285f03f87f5fb183", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "i wish you had a link for that", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>i wish you had a link for that</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1591929654.0, "created_utc": 1591929654.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ftrjqqu", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_h79apz", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ftrjqqu", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ftrirt0", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/h79apz/aita_for_asking_my_friend_for_a_boobvoyage_party/ftrjqqu/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 6, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 6, "user_reports": []}
|
Ha, genuinely no, but I'm too afraid to use a lawnmower in case I lose my spares.
|
cw9hdj
|
fa3bf42faf833567
| 1,566,943,639
| 4
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female or non-male (explicitly states 'I'm not a male' and 'I'm not a he, fyi!')", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Recently started a new job (mentions 'started a new job about a month ago')", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has dyspraxia; missing three fingers on dominant hand (only fourth and fifth fingers remain); has a brother; uses adaptive equipment like 3D printed whisk"}, "interests": ["Using humor and creative storytelling to cope with invasive questions (creates absurd stories like 'chewed them off as a baby' or 'cut them off with a plastic knife')", "Baking and cooking (mentions 'make some cupcakes' and gives advice 'when making cupcakes, always cream the butter')", "Adaptive technology and accessibility tools (references 'super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk')", "Engaging in witty banter and wordplay with others (responds playfully to suggestions like 'WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY? THIS SEEMS LIKE AN UNNECESSARY AMOUNT OF FINGERS')", "Disability rights and etiquette around visible differences", "Self-deprecating humor about their physical difference (describes hand as 'a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one')", "Reddit community engagement and responding to comments", "Creative problem-solving for daily tasks despite physical limitations"], "values": ["Strong belief in bodily privacy and autonomy ('I resent my body being a public forum. It's not there to be commented on')", "Privacy rights trump curiosity ('I feel like your curiosity doesn't trump their right to privacy')", "Opposition to invasive personal questions, especially about potentially traumatic topics ('don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them')", "Respect for people with disabilities and visible differences (frustrated by constant questioning and staring)", "Believes asking about physical differences is 'rude' and 'super bad form' especially with strangers", "Values consent in sharing personal information ('I don't feel like I owe anyone any explanations for it being different')", "Acknowledges mistakes and shows willingness to make amends ('I definitely didn't mean to become public enemy number one in the office')", "Believes in using humor as a coping mechanism but recognizes timing matters ('Good point about timing, maybe I should have just said I didn't want to say')", "Empathy for others' curiosity while maintaining boundaries ('Yeah, I get the curiousity... I just would never ask anyone, though')", "Frustration with people feeling entitled to explanations about trauma ('implies that people feel entitled to hear about my trauma')"], "communication": ["Uses self-deprecating humor frequently ('I can't even play drums and you'd think I'd be good at that because my hand is almost shaped like a drumstick')", "Writes in casual, conversational tone with frequent exclamation points", "Engages playfully with commenters and builds on their jokes ('Damn, I should have told one of them that I left them behind in a bowling ball')", "Uses ellipses for dramatic effect or hesitation ('... no comment.')", "Employs emoticons and winky faces to signal humor (';)')", "Varies response length from very brief acknowledgments ('Thanks!') to detailed explanations", "Uses capitalization for emphasis and comedic effect ('WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY?')", "Acknowledges others' perspectives graciously even when disagreeing ('Good point about timing')", "Frequently starts responses with casual interjections ('Ha,', 'Yeah,', 'Idk,', 'Oh man,')", "Articulate about feelings and boundaries when explaining serious points", "Corrects misgendering politely but firmly ('I'm not a he, fyi!')", "Uses vivid, creative imagery in descriptions ('hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit')"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 2 words ('Thanks!', '... no comment.') to approximately 120 words in longest response", "Average response length approximately 25-35 words", "Frequently uses casual interjections: 'Ha', 'Yeah', 'Idk', 'Oh man', 'Damn'", "Common phrases include self-referential humor about hand/fingers appearing in multiple responses", "Uses exclamation points in majority of responses for emphasis or enthusiasm", "Employs rhetorical questions for comedic effect ('WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY?')", "Frequently acknowledges and builds on others' comments rather than making standalone statements", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently to add humor or clarification", "Maintains consistent friendly, humorous tone across all responses despite discussing frustrating topic"]}
|
[{"content": "Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?\n\nI have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.\n\nI'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).\n\nAnyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.\n\nWithin about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books. \n\nAnyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an asshole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the asshole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.\n\nUpdate: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your morbid curiosity. A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!), don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.", "role": "throwawaycwdrama", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwawaycwdrama\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4gogxie1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1566935140.0, \"created_utc\": 1566935140.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1566999390.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"cw9hdj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"cbfad5da-d244-11e8-b3e1-0ef444e90e60\", \"link_flair_text\": \"No A-holes here\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3267, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24022, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.\\n\\nI'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).\\n\\nAnyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.\\n\\nWithin about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books. \\n\\nAnyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an asshole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the asshole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.\\n\\nUpdate: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your morbid curiosity. A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!), don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.</p>\\n\\n<p>I'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.</p>\\n\\n<p>Within about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an asshole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the asshole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.</p>\\n\\n<p>Update: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your morbid curiosity. A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!), don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24022, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.91, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA, but can you tell us how you lost the fingers?", "role": "JoeyJUULS", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JoeyJUULS\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_vkbgaqo\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA, but can you tell us how you lost the fingers?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA, but can you tell us how you lost the fingers?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1566936345.0, \"created_utc\": 1566936345.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ey96j2m\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ey96j2m\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/ey96j2m/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 42, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 42, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Pretty gnarly stuff - they got bitten off by a goat at a petting zoo when I was 3. Or did they ;)", "role": "throwawaycwdrama", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwawaycwdrama\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4gogxie1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Pretty gnarly stuff - they got bitten off by a goat at a petting zoo when I was 3. Or did they ;)\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Pretty gnarly stuff - they got bitten off by a goat at a petting zoo when I was 3. Or did they ;)</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1566936429.0, \"created_utc\": 1566936429.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ey96no0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ey96no0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ey96j2m\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/ey96no0/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 200, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 200, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "you didn't stick you fuckin hand into a jammed lawnmower did you? LOL", "role": "uncleruckess", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"uncleruckess\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_17e5g9ux\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"you didn't stick you fuckin hand into a jammed lawnmower did you? LOL\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>you didn't stick you fuckin hand into a jammed lawnmower did you? LOL</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1566942855.0, \"created_utc\": 1566942855.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ey9gjzb\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ey9gjzb\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ey96no0\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/ey9gjzb/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "fa3bf42faf833567", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5e944ac5ed479c41", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Ha, genuinely no, but I'm too afraid to use a lawnmower in case I lose my spares.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Ha, genuinely no, but I'm too afraid to use a lawnmower in case I lose my spares.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1566943639.0, "created_utc": 1566943639.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ey9ht3v", "is_submitter": true, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_cw9hdj", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ey9ht3v", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ey9gjzb", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/ey9ht3v/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "254cbee89b7ceeaa", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "1eb14479b7af7620", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "LOL yeah no doubt. Iknew a guy who had that happen when i was a kid cutting grass with my dad, i was tinkinering with the mower trying to get it started and he came up and put his stump on my shoulder and said let me give you a hand.... i'm just thinking in my head \"NO BUDDY! DON'T DO IT! YOU ONLY GOT 2 AND A HALF LEFT!!!!\" haha", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>LOL yeah no doubt. Iknew a guy who had that happen when i was a kid cutting grass with my dad, i was tinkinering with the mower trying to get it started and he came up and put his stump on my shoulder and said let me give you a hand.... i'm just thinking in my head "NO BUDDY! DON'T DO IT! YOU ONLY GOT 2 AND A HALF LEFT!!!!" haha</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1566944319.0, "created_utc": 1566944319.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ey9isoy", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_cw9hdj", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ey9isoy", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ey9ht3v", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/ey9isoy/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 18, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 18, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 98, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 98, "user_reports": []}
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And this will all happen in front of the poor kid if it's on Christmas day 🙄 jeez OP keep your girl away from that nut job.
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kebg11
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5e691abafe77beff
| 1,608,156,017
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{"demographics": {"age group": "approximately 29 years old (stated '27F' in 2020-07-29 post, last response 2022-08-28)", "gender": "Female (explicitly stated 'I'm 27F')", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "Likely British (uses British English spelling 'mum' consistently, references 'boxing day', uses British expressions)", "other": "Has at least one sister ('I didn't even get an invite to my sisters wedding')"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and conflict resolution, particularly involving in-laws and siblings", "Wedding etiquette and drama, as evidenced by detailed engagement with wedding essay post", "Child welfare and protection from harmful family situations ('This little girl is at an age where she will pick up what they are saying')", "Identifying controlling and abusive relationship patterns ('Abusers test what boundaries they can cross')", "Intellectual property rights and creative work protection (book theft case follow-ups)", "Standing up against unfair treatment and discrimination", "Supporting people who escape difficult family or relationship situations", "Pregnancy announcements and family celebrations", "Casual scientific curiosity about genetics and biology ('I wonder why it is! I don't know any of my male friends that their beard colour matches their head hair!!')"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy and the right to make one's own choices ('She doesn't get to dictate that to you')", "Opposition to controlling behavior in relationships ('If he'll control her socks he'll control a lot more than that')", "Family defined by emotional bonds rather than blood relations ('Family are who you share your life with. They are who you make them')", "Protection of children from toxic family dynamics ('it would be awful if she was privvy to this')", "Recognition and calling out of gaslighting and manipulation ('now they're all gaslighting you for them being extremely rude and hurtful')", "Celebration of personal growth and escaping abuse ('she is far from a failure, she is a success story just beginning!')", "Belief in holding people accountable for their actions ('She wasn't too overworked with their child to steal your intellectual property was she?')", "Support for setting and maintaining boundaries ('Please speak with them about setting boundaries for your parents')", "Recognition of red flags in relationships ('Sounds like one huge, bright red flag she's got herself there')", "Advocacy for fairness and equal treatment regardless of background"], "communication": ["Uses casual, conversational British English with expressions like 'mum', 'nah', 'eurgh'", "Frequently employs exclamation marks for emphasis and emotional expression", "Uses emojis strategically for tone (\ud83d\ude02, \ud83d\ude44) but sparingly", "Quotes directly from original posts to reference specific problematic statements", "Employs rhetorical questions for emphasis ('Were they only nice to your niece because she was just a temporary stand-in?')", "Combines humor with serious advice ('stuff your essay' \ud83d\ude02)", "Uses strong, direct language when condemning bad behavior ('What they are doing is disgusting')", "Offers practical, actionable advice alongside emotional support", "Writes in varied lengths from single-line responses to multi-paragraph analyses", "Uses informal contractions and colloquialisms ('Came here to say, OP why are you still with this woman?!')", "Employs sarcasm and irony to highlight absurdity ('She wasn't too overworked with their child to steal your intellectual property was she?')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 60-80 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 2 words ('r/chaoticgood')", "Maximum response length: approximately 150+ words in detailed responses", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment", "Common phrases: 'I'm sorry what?!', 'Nah', 'Please', 'OP', 'rooting for you'", "Heavy use of exclamation marks (often 2-3 per response)", "Tends to start responses with expressions of disbelief or strong reaction", "Uses direct address to original poster frequently", "Employs block quotes to reference specific problematic statements"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA For Refusing to meet my sister on Christmas after she called CPS?\n\n\u25cfI M37 lost my wife of 10 years and it was so devastating for me and my daughter. It's unfortunate but life goes on no matter what happens\n\nMy family knows how much I struggle as a single dad and my sister doesn't really get it. She had issues with my late wife in the past but now started \"helping\" with my daughter. She re-decorated my daughter's room without my consent, she'd insist I let my daughter go spend days at her house but my daughter is comfortable at her home. She then started calling my daughter with another name and I'm still trying to understand her logic behind this. I told her to stop doing those things and to be respectful and supportive and she defended herself saying I'm lashing out of grief.\n\n\nI recently. started teaching my daughter to do stuff on her own like brush her hair/clean her room/wash her cups/make sandwiches while I take care of bigger stuff. My sister said that what I'm doing is wrong. That I'm giving her more than she can handle. She's just a kid and although I told her I'm teaching my daughter to be more independent she said that I'm clearly doing this for my own benefits and avoiding responsibility.\n\nI got into a fight with her about it. Told her she has zero say in this. And the next day. A CPS Officer came to my house and took a tour around the house\nMy first thought was \"maybe he got the wrong house\" until he started reading the report to me saying that I'm never home and that I make my daughter do things that aren't her responsibility, neglecting her education (btw she's homeschooled) and that I'm not taking care of basic hygiene and whatnot. I told the officer my story and explained that I'm adapting as a single parent and he proceeded to aske my daughter some questions.\n\nIt was clearly a false report. However I was told that I will have a permanent record with CPS. and I was shaken up by this. I told my family about it and my younger sister told me that my sister was the one who called CPS after we had a big argument. I was so mad I confronted her after she hid herself. Called her immature and stupid to pull this crap (she's in her 40s) and that she's no longer my sister. Then cut contact. It's been months and now my dad started bringing her up knowing how uncomfortable I was. He said that my sister feels sorry for what she did and wanted to talk things out on Christmas dinner.But I said no. He and the others insisted saying that I should be the bigger person. the family will be incomplete without me and my daughter on Christmas. Saying I refuse to be a \"civil adult\" to solve the issue that is dividing the family. I yelled and said that my daughter and I don't have to go after what she did, doesn't matter if she has issues on her own and didn't \"mean it\" and was just concerned. wtf was she so concerned about? They demanded that I at least let my daughter go be with them >>and her auntie << on Christmas.\n\nEdit: I don't want my daughter to go and I plan on going to my in-laws instead. I want to talk to her about it and see what she wants to do.", "role": "Wall-mart928", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Wall-mart928\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9cyte6sh\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1608133254.0, \"created_utc\": 1608133254.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1608139050.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"kebg11\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_kebg11\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2447, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26888, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \" \\u25cfI M37 lost my wife of 10 years and it was so devastating for me and my daughter. It's unfortunate but life goes on no matter what happens\\n\\nMy family knows how much I struggle as a single dad and my sister doesn't really get it. She had issues with my late wife in the past but now started \\\"helping\\\" with my daughter. She re-decorated my daughter's room without my consent, she'd insist I let my daughter go spend days at her house but my daughter is comfortable at her home. She then started calling my daughter with another name and I'm still trying to understand her logic behind this. I told her to stop doing those things and to be respectful and supportive and she defended herself saying I'm lashing out of grief.\\n\\n\\nI recently. started teaching my daughter to do stuff on her own like brush her hair/clean her room/wash her cups/make sandwiches while I take care of bigger stuff. My sister said that what I'm doing is wrong. That I'm giving her more than she can handle. She's just a kid and although I told her I'm teaching my daughter to be more independent she said that I'm clearly doing this for my own benefits and avoiding responsibility.\\n\\nI got into a fight with her about it. Told her she has zero say in this. And the next day. A CPS Officer came to my house and took a tour around the house\\nMy first thought was \\\"maybe he got the wrong house\\\" until he started reading the report to me saying that I'm never home and that I make my daughter do things that aren't her responsibility, neglecting her education (btw she's homeschooled) and that I'm not taking care of basic hygiene and whatnot. I told the officer my story and explained that I'm adapting as a single parent and he proceeded to aske my daughter some questions.\\n\\nIt was clearly a false report. However I was told that I will have a permanent record with CPS. and I was shaken up by this. I told my family about it and my younger sister told me that my sister was the one who called CPS after we had a big argument. I was so mad I confronted her after she hid herself. Called her immature and stupid to pull this crap (she's in her 40s) and that she's no longer my sister. Then cut contact. It's been months and now my dad started bringing her up knowing how uncomfortable I was. He said that my sister feels sorry for what she did and wanted to talk things out on Christmas dinner.But I said no. He and the others insisted saying that I should be the bigger person. the family will be incomplete without me and my daughter on Christmas. Saying I refuse to be a \\\"civil adult\\\" to solve the issue that is dividing the family. I yelled and said that my daughter and I don't have to go after what she did, doesn't matter if she has issues on her own and didn't \\\"mean it\\\" and was just concerned. wtf was she so concerned about? They demanded that I at least let my daughter go be with them >>and her auntie << on Christmas.\\n\\nEdit: I don't want my daughter to go and I plan on going to my in-laws instead. I want to talk to her about it and see what she wants to do.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>\\u25cfI M37 lost my wife of 10 years and it was so devastating for me and my daughter. It's unfortunate but life goes on no matter what happens</p>\\n\\n<p>My family knows how much I struggle as a single dad and my sister doesn't really get it. She had issues with my late wife in the past but now started "helping" with my daughter. She re-decorated my daughter's room without my consent, she'd insist I let my daughter go spend days at her house but my daughter is comfortable at her home. She then started calling my daughter with another name and I'm still trying to understand her logic behind this. I told her to stop doing those things and to be respectful and supportive and she defended herself saying I'm lashing out of grief.</p>\\n\\n<p>I recently. started teaching my daughter to do stuff on her own like brush her hair/clean her room/wash her cups/make sandwiches while I take care of bigger stuff. My sister said that what I'm doing is wrong. That I'm giving her more than she can handle. She's just a kid and although I told her I'm teaching my daughter to be more independent she said that I'm clearly doing this for my own benefits and avoiding responsibility.</p>\\n\\n<p>I got into a fight with her about it. Told her she has zero say in this. And the next day. A CPS Officer came to my house and took a tour around the house\\nMy first thought was "maybe he got the wrong house" until he started reading the report to me saying that I'm never home and that I make my daughter do things that aren't her responsibility, neglecting her education (btw she's homeschooled) and that I'm not taking care of basic hygiene and whatnot. I told the officer my story and explained that I'm adapting as a single parent and he proceeded to aske my daughter some questions.</p>\\n\\n<p>It was clearly a false report. However I was told that I will have a permanent record with CPS. and I was shaken up by this. I told my family about it and my younger sister told me that my sister was the one who called CPS after we had a big argument. I was so mad I confronted her after she hid herself. Called her immature and stupid to pull this crap (she's in her 40s) and that she's no longer my sister. Then cut contact. It's been months and now my dad started bringing her up knowing how uncomfortable I was. He said that my sister feels sorry for what she did and wanted to talk things out on Christmas dinner.But I said no. He and the others insisted saying that I should be the bigger person. the family will be incomplete without me and my daughter on Christmas. Saying I refuse to be a "civil adult" to solve the issue that is dividing the family. I yelled and said that my daughter and I don't have to go after what she did, doesn't matter if she has issues on her own and didn't "mean it" and was just concerned. wtf was she so concerned about? They demanded that I at least let my daughter go be with them >>and her auntie << on Christmas.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: I don't want my daughter to go and I plan on going to my in-laws instead. I want to talk to her about it and see what she wants to do.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_kebg11\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA For Refusing to meet my sister on Christmas after she called CPS?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26888, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA Calling CPS just because you\u2019re angry is wrong. She took time away from children who are being neglected and need help to get back at you. Not wanting to have her around your family is a normal response, she proved herself to be a danger to your family.", "role": "Longjumping_2390", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Longjumping_2390\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [15]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_73y0432a\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA Calling CPS just because you\\u2019re angry is wrong. She took time away from children who are being neglected and need help to get back at you. Not wanting to have her around your family is a normal response, she proved herself to be a danger to your family.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA Calling CPS just because you\\u2019re angry is wrong. She took time away from children who are being neglected and need help to get back at you. Not wanting to have her around your family is a normal response, she proved herself to be a danger to your family.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608133469.0, \"created_utc\": 1608133469.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gg1fkq8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kebg11\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gg1fkq8\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_kebg11\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/gg1fkq8/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 33313, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 33313, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "She called CPS because she didn't think I was handling my responsibilities as a parent and doing everything wrong. My daughter doesn't have to go sit at the same table with her aunt who caused this issue and put us in this terrible situation. I been told that people are being ridiculous calling CPS for ridiculous reasons. But it's huge when it's family who makes the call so this really hurt me and now I know what type of person my sister is.", "role": "Wall-mart928", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Wall-mart928\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9cyte6sh\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"She called CPS because she didn't think I was handling my responsibilities as a parent and doing everything wrong. My daughter doesn't have to go sit at the same table with her aunt who caused this issue and put us in this terrible situation. I been told that people are being ridiculous calling CPS for ridiculous reasons. But it's huge when it's family who makes the call so this really hurt me and now I know what type of person my sister is.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>She called CPS because she didn't think I was handling my responsibilities as a parent and doing everything wrong. My daughter doesn't have to go sit at the same table with her aunt who caused this issue and put us in this terrible situation. I been told that people are being ridiculous calling CPS for ridiculous reasons. But it's huge when it's family who makes the call so this really hurt me and now I know what type of person my sister is.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608134485.0, \"created_utc\": 1608134485.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1608138307.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gg1hlp5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, 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\"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 13019, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "seems like she's trying to take over being mom. \n\nthis was a nuclear option. don't let your daughter around her.", "role": "cryssyx3", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"cryssyx3\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_wwts6\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"seems like she's trying to take over being mom. \\n\\nthis was a nuclear option. don't let your daughter around her.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>seems like she's trying to take over being mom. </p>\\n\\n<p>this was a nuclear option. don't let your daughter around her.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, 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\"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"CookieCatSupreme\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_oxcnj\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"i agree!\\n\\n>She then started calling my daughter with another name and I'm still trying to understand her logic behind this.\\n\\nThis part in particular creeps me out because it feels like she's trying to re-name the daughter the way you would with a new puppy you've just adopted. like she's trying to rename the daughter as something she wants. that's so freaky.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>i agree!</p>\\n\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>She then started calling my daughter with another name and I'm still trying to understand her logic behind this.</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>This part in particular creeps me out because it feels like she's trying to re-name the daughter the way you would with a new puppy you've just adopted. like she's trying to rename the daughter as something she wants. that's so freaky.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608138425.0, \"created_utc\": 1608138425.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, 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{"content": "That\u2019s what I thought too! He doesn\u2019t mention if his sister has children, but it sounds like she doesn\u2019t. Maybe the sister has some fantasy where she\u2019ll take and adopt his daughter? That\u2019s scary. I\u2019d keep the daughter far away from that aunt.", "role": "impossiblegirlme", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"impossiblegirlme\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_khfpu\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"That\\u2019s what I thought too! He doesn\\u2019t mention if his sister has children, but it sounds like she doesn\\u2019t. Maybe the sister has some fantasy where she\\u2019ll take and adopt his daughter? That\\u2019s scary. I\\u2019d keep the daughter far away from that aunt.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>That\\u2019s what I thought too! He doesn\\u2019t mention if his sister has children, but it sounds like she doesn\\u2019t. Maybe the sister has some fantasy where she\\u2019ll take and adopt his daughter? That\\u2019s scary. I\\u2019d keep the daughter far away from that aunt.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608140369.0, \"created_utc\": 1608140369.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gg1trn5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kebg11\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gg1trn5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gg1poos\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/gg1trn5/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3382, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3382, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I think she thinks of the daughter like a live doll, hence why she had a problem with her learning to take care of herself. She needs serious mental help, and the place for that is NOT \u201ctalking it out over Christmas dinner.\u201d", "role": "HappyLucyD", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"HappyLucyD\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4n93nl9d\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I think she thinks of the daughter like a live doll, hence why she had a problem with her learning to take care of herself. She needs serious mental help, and the place for that is NOT \\u201ctalking it out over Christmas dinner.\\u201d\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I think she thinks of the daughter like a live doll, hence why she had a problem with her learning to take care of herself. She needs serious mental help, and the place for that is NOT \\u201ctalking it out over Christmas dinner.\\u201d</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608141492.0, \"created_utc\": 1608141492.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gg1w560\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_kebg11\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gg1w560\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gg1trn5\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/gg1w560/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1961, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1961, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Nothing's going to get talked out over Christmas dinner. As soon as he gets there, they're going to start telling him not to bring it up \"because it's Christmaaaaas,\" and then that precedent gets held over him for all time as the reason he can't start complaining now. OP made the right choice going NC, and breaking that now - or, God forbid, letting his daughter go over to that house alone - is just a recipe for disaster.", "role": "redmax7156", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"redmax7156\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7tiyu3hy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Nothing's going to get talked out over Christmas dinner. As soon as he gets there, they're going to start telling him not to bring it up \\\"because it's Christmaaaaas,\\\" and then that precedent gets held over him for all time as the reason he can't start complaining now. OP made the right choice going NC, and breaking that now - or, God forbid, letting his daughter go over to that house alone - is just a recipe for disaster.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Nothing's going to get talked out over Christmas dinner. As soon as he gets there, they're going to start telling him not to bring it up "because it's Christmaaaaas," and then that precedent gets held over him for all time as the reason he can't start complaining now. OP made the right choice going NC, and breaking that now - or, God forbid, letting his daughter go over to that house alone - is just a recipe for disaster.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608143021.0, \"created_utc\": 1608143021.0, \"depth\": 6, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gg1ze5y\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, 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"role": "HappyLucyD", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"HappyLucyD\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4n93nl9d\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yes\\u2014you\\u2019re right, it will also likely involve the sister wanting to defend herself, and then if HE has anything to say, the whole, \\u201clet it go\\u2014to keep the peace, because Christmaaaas,\\u201d chorus will start. $20 says she\\u2019ll start it off by calling the daughter the wrong name...\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yes\\u2014you\\u2019re right, it will also likely involve the sister wanting to defend herself, and then if HE has anything to say, the whole, \\u201clet it go\\u2014to keep the peace, because Christmaaaas,\\u201d chorus will start. $20 says she\\u2019ll start it off by calling the daughter the wrong name...</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1608143678.0, \"created_utc\": 1608143678.0, \"depth\": 7, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, 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\"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/gg20t5f/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 714, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 714, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5e691abafe77beff", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0f2010307f4cae01", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "And this will all happen in front of the poor kid if it's on Christmas day \ud83d\ude44 jeez OP keep your girl away from that nut job.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>And this will all happen in front of the poor kid if it's on Christmas day \ud83d\ude44 jeez OP keep your girl away from that nut job.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1608156017.0, "created_utc": 1608156017.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gg2r3xt", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_kebg11", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gg2r3xt", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gg20t5f", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kebg11/aita_for_refusing_to_meet_my_sister_on_christmas/gg2r3xt/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 22, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 22, "user_reports": []}
|
This
>You really don't want to encourage your daughter to dissect and criticize other people's personalities, but both you and your wife need to acknowledge that you backed your daughter into a corner and let her know that you don't think she would have composed an unkind power point if she weren't being pushed into an unwanted relationship. Then go on to agree to friendly behavior during family events (yes, that will mean that she has to socialize with her cousin when you've all gathered for a holiday) and establish some boundaries in terms of trips.
[...quoted text...]
I really feel that if the latter part of this comment is key also, because if that had been the expectation from the beginning, the girls might actually have had a chance at a good relationship.
|
k2seky
|
a1e2161378016a62
| 1,606,592,379
| 2
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Works with people whose first language is Spanish, suggesting a diverse professional environment", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Daughter of a Korean immigrant mother and white father; was not taught Korean growing up due to father's disapproval, which is a source of regret"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and interpersonal dynamics", "LGBTQ+ rights and discrimination issues, as seen in defending the user whose family boycotted their mother's same-sex wedding", "Cultural heritage and language preservation, particularly regarding Korean names and multilingual households", "Wedding planning disputes and family boundary-setting", "Parenting and stepfamily relationship dynamics", "Women's career autonomy and workplace conflicts", "Calling out hypocrisy and double standards in family relationships", "Animal welfare and property rights issues", "Misogyny and sexism in interpersonal relationships", "Accountability for harmful behavior disguised as 'beliefs' or 'opinions'", "Cross-cultural communication and respect for non-English languages", "Standing up against manipulation and gaslighting in family systems"], "values": ["Strong belief in holding people accountable for their actions: 'She was not being a good neighbor. She damaged your property, killed your pets'", "Rejection of excuses for discriminatory behavior: 'They don't get to whine about their beliefs while stomping on yours and intentionally being cruel'", "Defense of personal and professional boundaries: 'Your husband totally did this on purpose' in the career conflict scenario", "Support for LGBTQ+ rights and calling out homophobia masked as religious beliefs", "Advocacy for respecting cultural heritage: 'it amounts to punishing her for her heritage' regarding speaking Hindi", "Belief that intent doesn't excuse harm: criticized the neighbor who poisoned pets despite claiming good intentions", "Support for women's autonomy in personal choices, including career and appearance decisions", "Value of keeping one's word and maintaining consistency: praised the user who stood by their wedding guest decisions", "Belief that children deserve respect and shouldn't be forced into relationships they don't want", "Recognition that some behaviors reveal character: 'At 19 years old she still refuses to pronounce a name correctly'", "Emphasis on practical solutions over emotional manipulation", "Strong stance against gaslighting and victim-blaming in family conflicts"], "communication": ["Direct, assertive opening statements, typically starting with 'NTA' followed by a period for emphasis", "Uses short, punchy sentences for impact: 'Matt was a jerk'", "Employs quotation marks strategically to highlight problematic statements from original posts", "Occasionally uses sarcasm: 'Oh, you mean the normal way of disposing of them?'", "Provides logical breakdowns of situations with clear reasoning", "Not afraid to be blunt about others' motivations: 'He chased a way to bomb your career'", "Offers practical advice and actionable solutions, not just moral judgments", "Uses rhetorical questions to emphasize points", "Maintains consistent grammar and punctuation throughout responses", "Balances empathy with accountability in their assessments", "Frequently quotes or paraphrases from other comments to build on arguments", "Uses conversational but sophisticated vocabulary"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 50-70 words", "Minimum response length: around 10-15 words ('Oh, you mean the normal way of disposing of them?')", "Maximum response length: approximately 200 words (in the Hindi-speaking daughter scenario)", "Most frequent opening: 'NTA' appears in nearly every response", "Common phrases: 'She/He was,' 'You don't,' 'They don't get to,' direct quotes from original posts", "Sentence structure varies between short declarative statements and longer explanatory sentences", "Frequently uses imperative mood for advice-giving", "Employs parallel structure for emphasis in listing behaviors or consequences", "Uses em-dashes and parenthetical statements to add clarifying information", "Consistent use of proper punctuation and capitalization throughout all responses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA For not punishing my daughter for mocking her cousin?\n\nMy wife and her younger sister are best friends. As a result, when our middle daughter and her cousin were born around the same time, my wife really expected them to also be best friends. With sixteen years of hindsight, I can say with certainty that the expectation was misplaced. \n\nNothing happened in particular. My daughter just doesn't like her cousin. My wife keeps pushing the relationship. This includes making my daughter spend time with her cousin during family gatherings, inviting her cousin on trips, forcing my daughter to call her. \n\nWe're pretty sure I'm the favorite parent (a fact that keeps my ego well-inflated), and, therefore, my apathy towards the situation is not well-received by my wife. From my perspective, this isn't important, and I do not possess the ability to make two teenagers become friends. I'm also pretty sure that trying to push this kind of knuckleheaded stuff makes kids not want to speak to you. \n\nThis is where I'm probably an asshole. Yesterday, my wife forced my daughter to video call her cousin. My daughter rejected to request, and my wife told her: \"Unless you have a valid reason for disliking your cousin, you will do this because we're family\". The call occurred. This morning, we awoke to a PowerPoint presentation titled *Valid Reasons to Dislike \\[Cousin\\].* Using clips from the zoom call, segments included *Why is \\[Cousin's\\] Voice so Grating? A Music Theory Approach, A Case Study: Conversations That Provide No Value*, *Rethinking the Idea That There Are No Dumb Questions*, ect. With the benefit of a couple of hours of hindsight, it was a very cruel takedown of her cousin's entire personality. \n\nMy wife was furious. My eldest daughter and I lost our shit laughing. My wife is demanding I support her in punishing my daughter for bullying her cousin. I have refused because I feel this is whole situation wouldn't have occurred if she didn't push the relationship, but I'm starting to have second thoughts because it was very mean. AITA?", "role": "feelslikenotmyissue", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"feelslikenotmyissue\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_92wjq3rp\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1606586829.0, \"created_utc\": 1606586829.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"k2seky\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_k2seky\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2472, \"num_crossposts\": 9, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27960, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My wife and her younger sister are best friends. As a result, when our middle daughter and her cousin were born around the same time, my wife really expected them to also be best friends. With sixteen years of hindsight, I can say with certainty that the expectation was misplaced. \\n\\nNothing happened in particular. My daughter just doesn't like her cousin. My wife keeps pushing the relationship. This includes making my daughter spend time with her cousin during family gatherings, inviting her cousin on trips, forcing my daughter to call her. \\n\\nWe're pretty sure I'm the favorite parent (a fact that keeps my ego well-inflated), and, therefore, my apathy towards the situation is not well-received by my wife. From my perspective, this isn't important, and I do not possess the ability to make two teenagers become friends. I'm also pretty sure that trying to push this kind of knuckleheaded stuff makes kids not want to speak to you. \\n\\nThis is where I'm probably an asshole. Yesterday, my wife forced my daughter to video call her cousin. My daughter rejected to request, and my wife told her: \\\"Unless you have a valid reason for disliking your cousin, you will do this because we're family\\\". The call occurred. This morning, we awoke to a PowerPoint presentation titled *Valid Reasons to Dislike \\\\[Cousin\\\\].* Using clips from the zoom call, segments included *Why is \\\\[Cousin's\\\\] Voice so Grating? A Music Theory Approach, A Case Study: Conversations That Provide No Value*, *Rethinking the Idea That There Are No Dumb Questions*, ect. With the benefit of a couple of hours of hindsight, it was a very cruel takedown of her cousin's entire personality. \\n\\nMy wife was furious. My eldest daughter and I lost our shit laughing. My wife is demanding I support her in punishing my daughter for bullying her cousin. I have refused because I feel this is whole situation wouldn't have occurred if she didn't push the relationship, but I'm starting to have second thoughts because it was very mean. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My wife and her younger sister are best friends. As a result, when our middle daughter and her cousin were born around the same time, my wife really expected them to also be best friends. With sixteen years of hindsight, I can say with certainty that the expectation was misplaced. </p>\\n\\n<p>Nothing happened in particular. My daughter just doesn't like her cousin. My wife keeps pushing the relationship. This includes making my daughter spend time with her cousin during family gatherings, inviting her cousin on trips, forcing my daughter to call her. </p>\\n\\n<p>We're pretty sure I'm the favorite parent (a fact that keeps my ego well-inflated), and, therefore, my apathy towards the situation is not well-received by my wife. From my perspective, this isn't important, and I do not possess the ability to make two teenagers become friends. I'm also pretty sure that trying to push this kind of knuckleheaded stuff makes kids not want to speak to you. </p>\\n\\n<p>This is where I'm probably an asshole. Yesterday, my wife forced my daughter to video call her cousin. My daughter rejected to request, and my wife told her: "Unless you have a valid reason for disliking your cousin, you will do this because we're family". The call occurred. This morning, we awoke to a PowerPoint presentation titled <em>Valid Reasons to Dislike [Cousin].</em> Using clips from the zoom call, segments included <em>Why is [Cousin's] Voice so Grating? A Music Theory Approach, A Case Study: Conversations That Provide No Value</em>, <em>Rethinking the Idea That There Are No Dumb Questions</em>, ect. With the benefit of a couple of hours of hindsight, it was a very cruel takedown of her cousin's entire personality. </p>\\n\\n<p>My wife was furious. My eldest daughter and I lost our shit laughing. My wife is demanding I support her in punishing my daughter for bullying her cousin. I have refused because I feel this is whole situation wouldn't have occurred if she didn't push the relationship, but I'm starting to have second thoughts because it was very mean. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_k2seky\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA For not punishing my daughter for mocking her cousin?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27960, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "ESH\n\nHere is what you must do: Sit down with your daughter and explain that you and her mother have handled this situation poorly. Tell your daughter than you and your wife disagree and that rather than working it out between the two of you, you have put her in the middle of quite a lot of nonsense. Apologize and refuse to have any conversation about the relative merits of your niece's personality. \n\nNext sit down with you wife. Explain that you believe the two of you need to take a completely different approach to the issue and that you would like to remove your daughter from the equation. Then explain that you believe your child should be required to be pleasant to all of her relatives during family occasions and that beyond that it is important to leave the children to navigate their own relationship. Apologize for engaging in a counterproductive conversation about whether or not they should be friends. Then gently explain that forcing a friendship, including calls and socialization beyond family events, is not fair to either of the girls. Just as you would not want to be forced to socialize and fake a relationship with someone who does not appeal to you as a friend, you most certainly would not want to be the person foisted upon an unwilling friend. Frankly, this initiative of your wife's is quite unkind to her niece. \n\nLastly, let your wife know that you think the three of you should sit down and make a new plan that respects everyone's wishes. That conversation can certainly start with the importance of kindness. You really don't want to encourage your daughter to dissect and criticize other people's personalities, but both you and your wife need to acknowledge that you backed your daughter into a corner and let her know that you don't think she would have composed an unkind power point if she weren't being pushed into an unwanted relationship. Then go on to agree to friendly behavior during family events (yes, that will mean that she has to socialize with her cousin when you've all gathered for a holiday) and establish some boundaries in terms of trips. The cousin should not be included unless there is a particular reason for your niece to join you.", "role": "McSuzy", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"McSuzy\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ab8c0e\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [36]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_63wod6j5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"ESH\\n\\nHere is what you must do: Sit down with your daughter and explain that you and her mother have handled this situation poorly. Tell your daughter than you and your wife disagree and that rather than working it out between the two of you, you have put her in the middle of quite a lot of nonsense. Apologize and refuse to have any conversation about the relative merits of your niece's personality. \\n\\nNext sit down with you wife. Explain that you believe the two of you need to take a completely different approach to the issue and that you would like to remove your daughter from the equation. Then explain that you believe your child should be required to be pleasant to all of her relatives during family occasions and that beyond that it is important to leave the children to navigate their own relationship. Apologize for engaging in a counterproductive conversation about whether or not they should be friends. Then gently explain that forcing a friendship, including calls and socialization beyond family events, is not fair to either of the girls. Just as you would not want to be forced to socialize and fake a relationship with someone who does not appeal to you as a friend, you most certainly would not want to be the person foisted upon an unwilling friend. Frankly, this initiative of your wife's is quite unkind to her niece. \\n\\nLastly, let your wife know that you think the three of you should sit down and make a new plan that respects everyone's wishes. That conversation can certainly start with the importance of kindness. You really don't want to encourage your daughter to dissect and criticize other people's personalities, but both you and your wife need to acknowledge that you backed your daughter into a corner and let her know that you don't think she would have composed an unkind power point if she weren't being pushed into an unwanted relationship. Then go on to agree to friendly behavior during family events (yes, that will mean that she has to socialize with her cousin when you've all gathered for a holiday) and establish some boundaries in terms of trips. The cousin should not be included unless there is a particular reason for your niece to join you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>ESH</p>\\n\\n<p>Here is what you must do: Sit down with your daughter and explain that you and her mother have handled this situation poorly. Tell your daughter than you and your wife disagree and that rather than working it out between the two of you, you have put her in the middle of quite a lot of nonsense. Apologize and refuse to have any conversation about the relative merits of your niece's personality. </p>\\n\\n<p>Next sit down with you wife. Explain that you believe the two of you need to take a completely different approach to the issue and that you would like to remove your daughter from the equation. Then explain that you believe your child should be required to be pleasant to all of her relatives during family occasions and that beyond that it is important to leave the children to navigate their own relationship. Apologize for engaging in a counterproductive conversation about whether or not they should be friends. Then gently explain that forcing a friendship, including calls and socialization beyond family events, is not fair to either of the girls. Just as you would not want to be forced to socialize and fake a relationship with someone who does not appeal to you as a friend, you most certainly would not want to be the person foisted upon an unwilling friend. Frankly, this initiative of your wife's is quite unkind to her niece. </p>\\n\\n<p>Lastly, let your wife know that you think the three of you should sit down and make a new plan that respects everyone's wishes. That conversation can certainly start with the importance of kindness. You really don't want to encourage your daughter to dissect and criticize other people's personalities, but both you and your wife need to acknowledge that you backed your daughter into a corner and let her know that you don't think she would have composed an unkind power point if she weren't being pushed into an unwanted relationship. Then go on to agree to friendly behavior during family events (yes, that will mean that she has to socialize with her cousin when you've all gathered for a holiday) and establish some boundaries in terms of trips. The cousin should not be included unless there is a particular reason for your niece to join you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1606587712.0, \"created_utc\": 1606587712.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gdwh9av\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_k2seky\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gdwh9av\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_k2seky\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/gdwh9av/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4854, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4854, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a1e2161378016a62", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "6296a953f6e5dba3", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "This\n\n>You really don't want to encourage your daughter to dissect and criticize other people's personalities, but both you and your wife need to acknowledge that you backed your daughter into a corner and let her know that you don't think she would have composed an unkind power point if she weren't being pushed into an unwanted relationship. Then go on to agree to friendly behavior during family events (yes, that will mean that she has to socialize with her cousin when you've all gathered for a holiday) and establish some boundaries in terms of trips.\n\nI really feel that if the latter part of this comment is key also, because if that had been the expectation from the beginning, the girls might actually have had a chance at a good relationship.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>This</p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>You really don't want to encourage your daughter to dissect and criticize other people's personalities, but both you and your wife need to acknowledge that you backed your daughter into a corner and let her know that you don't think she would have composed an unkind power point if she weren't being pushed into an unwanted relationship. Then go on to agree to friendly behavior during family events (yes, that will mean that she has to socialize with her cousin when you've all gathered for a holiday) and establish some boundaries in terms of trips.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>I really feel that if the latter part of this comment is key also, because if that had been the expectation from the beginning, the girls might actually have had a chance at a good relationship.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1606592379.0, "created_utc": 1606592379.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gdwuj50", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k2seky", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gdwuj50", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gdwh9av", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/gdwuj50/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3356bd17a9b4459c", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "ae35c302d64f33de", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yeah, this is an important point, and it kind of makes me feel like /u/McSuzy is putting the cart before the horse with the whole outline. The original sin, the source of all this grief, is OP's wife's consistent, grating disrespect for her kid's social autonomy. OP's kid was left in a situation where being cruel was her only real chance at establishing a boundary. She's young and she needs to internalize that cruelty is not a good way to go through life in general, but honestly, I'm loathe to instill in young women that they're not entitled to react to angering situations with anger, and the *first* thing to do here is get OP's wife to stop creating the situation, and to respect boundaries that are stated respectfully the first time instead of forcing daughter to take the nuclear option.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yeah, this is an important point, and it kind of makes me feel like <a href=\"/u/McSuzy\">/u/McSuzy</a> is putting the cart before the horse with the whole outline. The original sin, the source of all this grief, is OP's wife's consistent, grating disrespect for her kid's social autonomy. OP's kid was left in a situation where being cruel was her only real chance at establishing a boundary. She's young and she needs to internalize that cruelty is not a good way to go through life in general, but honestly, I'm loathe to instill in young women that they're not entitled to react to angering situations with anger, and the <em>first</em> thing to do here is get OP's wife to stop creating the situation, and to respect boundaries that are stated respectfully the first time instead of forcing daughter to take the nuclear option.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1606596173.0, "created_utc": 1606596173.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gdx5vy3", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k2seky", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gdx5vy3", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gdwuj50", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/gdx5vy3/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4668e352f2b482ad", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#ab8c0e", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0", "author_flair_text": "Colo-rectal Surgeon [36]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b513cf972caa6dac", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My outline begins with an apology to the daughter, followed by a conversation with his wife about the real issue. It ends with a gentle caution too the daughter paired with an acknowledgement that she would not have gone there had she not been put in a ridiculous position by her parents, and concludes with a resolution to establish boundaries that respect the daughter's autonomy.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My outline begins with an apology to the daughter, followed by a conversation with his wife about the real issue. It ends with a gentle caution too the daughter paired with an acknowledgement that she would not have gone there had she not been put in a ridiculous position by her parents, and concludes with a resolution to establish boundaries that respect the daughter's autonomy.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1606597724.0, "created_utc": 1606597724.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gdxaiaq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k2seky", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gdxaiaq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gdx5vy3", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/gdxaiaq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "112e579d6cec92c5", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b211d2a67f26f635", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I would suggest starting with the conversation with the wife, honestly. I think the apology his daughter deserves is a lot about them not being on the same page and putting her in the middle, and it would be best if it comes at a time when the parents *are* on the same page and both agree to take their daughter out of the middle.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I would suggest starting with the conversation with the wife, honestly. I think the apology his daughter deserves is a lot about them not being on the same page and putting her in the middle, and it would be best if it comes at a time when the parents <em>are</em> on the same page and both agree to take their daughter out of the middle.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1606599349.0, "created_utc": 1606599349.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gdxf7st", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k2seky", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gdxf7st", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gdxaiaq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/gdxf7st/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 203, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 203, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3356bd17a9b4459c", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "ae35c302d64f33de", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Whoops, I apologize for reading this hastily. I thought this was a conversation with all three of them, and my thinking was that even if the intention was a joint-parental-apology, it would be pretty doomed unless OP and his wife came to some agreement in an independent conversation first. But yeah, this seems like a very mature approach, and while my first instinct is to side wholeheartedly with the daughter on the general notion of \"if someone is absolutely begging for information they don't want then I'm going to give it to them with relish,\" I acknowledge that that's not terribly mature or always productive.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Whoops, I apologize for reading this hastily. I thought this was a conversation with all three of them, and my thinking was that even if the intention was a joint-parental-apology, it would be pretty doomed unless OP and his wife came to some agreement in an independent conversation first. But yeah, this seems like a very mature approach, and while my first instinct is to side wholeheartedly with the daughter on the general notion of "if someone is absolutely begging for information they don't want then I'm going to give it to them with relish," I acknowledge that that's not terribly mature or always productive.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1606599694.0, "created_utc": 1606599694.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gdxg87r", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k2seky", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gdxg87r", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gdxaiaq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k2seky/aita_for_not_punishing_my_daughter_for_mocking/gdxg87r/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 31, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 31, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 177, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 177, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 629, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 629, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1881, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1881, "user_reports": []}
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That's the next town over from where I grew up!
Fuck that lady.
|
hysbcq
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df9b1fb8fbf25d62
| 1,595,866,496
| 7
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA (mentions growing up near a town in New York state)", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Takes antidepressants for mental health treatment; owns two dogs; grew up with feminist health literature in the home"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and parenting issues, particularly single parent situations and custody matters", "Pet care and animal welfare, especially regarding dogs and service animals", "Mental health topics including eating disorders, depression, and antidepressant effects", "Religious discussions, particularly regarding Mormonism and its cultural practices", "Pop culture references including Harry Potter fandom", "Workplace ethics and professional boundaries", "Medical conditions and healthcare access", "Interpersonal conflict resolution and ethical dilemmas", "Gender roles and feminist perspectives", "Legal matters including custody, harassment, and personal rights", "Cultural traditions and customs, particularly questioning unusual practices", "Service animals and disability accommodations"], "values": ["Personal autonomy and individual choice, as shown by supporting OP's right to choose their birthday restaurant: 'it's your birthday, and you're paying'", "Protection of vulnerable parties, praising vigilance in protecting pets: 'Oh thank you for being so vigilant in your protection of your best friend!'", "Accountability for actions, noting that people must want to change: 'he *could* change back, it is just something he has to want to do & put in the work'", "Direct communication and honesty in relationships", "Empathy for those with mental health struggles while maintaining boundaries", "Calling out entitlement and manipulation in family relationships", "Supporting evidence-based decision making, particularly in medical contexts", "Valuing humor and levity even in difficult situations: 'Seriously! It's *damn hard* to convey humor is another language'", "Respect for service animals and disability accommodations", "Skepticism toward religious justifications for controlling behavior", "Appreciation for those who stand up for themselves against unfair treatment", "Recognition that change requires personal commitment and effort"], "communication": ["Uses conversational, casual tone with informal language like 'fuck that noise' and 'bruh'", "Frequently employs italics for emphasis: '*that* severe', '*could* change back', '*damn hard*'", "Asks direct, clarifying questions when confused: 'What's the significance of 394?' and 'Link?'", "Expresses gratitude explicitly: 'Much obliged', 'thanks, I appreciate your answer'", "Shares personal anecdotes to relate to topics: 'I grew up with a copy of Our Bodies Ourselves in the bathroom'", "Makes pop culture references (Harry Potter, Boss Baby) to connect with others", "Uses brief, pointed responses that get straight to the point", "Acknowledges when learning something new: 'Oh that's right, it's difficult to process food after starvation. I had forgotten that I knew that'", "Employs humor and sarcasm appropriately in responses", "Shows genuine curiosity by asking follow-up questions about topics like eating disorders and religious sects", "Maintains respectful tone even when disagreeing or questioning: 'I truly hope you don't find my questions rude or flippant'", "Adds personal context to strengthen arguments: 'Neither of my dogs would be okay with my bringing them somewhere & leaving them'"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 30-40 words, with range from 2 words ('Much obliged') to 100+ words in detailed responses", "Frequently uses italicized text for emphasis in nearly every response", "Common phrases include 'I appreciate', 'thanks', and expressions of understanding like 'gotcha' and 'ah'", "Tends to ask clarifying questions in about 30% of responses", "Uses casual profanity sparingly but effectively ('fuck that', 'damn')", "Employs first-person perspective and personal anecdotes in approximately 40% of responses", "Sentence structure varies from single-word questions to complex compound sentences", "Uses contractions consistently ('I'm', 'that's', 'it's') maintaining conversational tone", "Includes parenthetical asides and explanatory phrases to add context", "Response style adapts to context: brief acknowledgments for simple exchanges, longer explanations for complex topics"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for not donating my liver due to a lawsuit and the person died?\n\nMy (24M) partner's (23F) close friend and boss (50'sM) at the mechanic shop needed a liver transplant. They had been on the list for a while and getting nowhere. Lots of us got tested and I was a match. We were all happy and thrilled that this direct donation could take place.\n\nA week before the surgery date, police showed up at our house to arrest my partner as her boss (person who was getting a piece of my liver) had accused her of theft. Claimed she'd stolen thousands from his bank account and stolen from the cash box. The police showed us the Cctv in which she reaches into the box, takes money and walks out of frame. 15 times, 15 days, 15 accusations. The police admitted they had no proof it was theft and no clue on the amounts taken as she used the box to take customers money and change. The police also said they didn't see how she accessed the bank accounts, and that they felt this was some sort of insurance fraud and they needed a scape goat.\n\nI immediately rang the hospital and my transplant coordinator and backed out of the surgery. We got on with our lives, partner found a new job and attended the court date where the case was thrown out 6 months later. \n\nA week after the case was dismissed, we got word boss had died. No one else had been a match or willing to get tested after news got out, and they never found a match in the transplant system in time.\n\nI feel so guilty. I allowed someone to die, pretty much murdered them. I let pettiness get in the way of saving a life. Partner and friends feel I did the right thing, none of this is on me and not giving a piece of me to the person possibly putting my partner in prison for a long time, a week before surgery, is my choice and the right choice. \n\nBosses friends and family have been ringing non-stop, harassing us at our jobs and posting online a lot how I'm a murderer and killed boss. That I should have given the liver anyway and been a good person. \n\nI feel I should have given it, but who bites the hand that feeds? I didn't want to get cut open, risk dying and other complications for someone who didn't care for me and mine, but now someone is dead from something I could have prevented. I'm conflicted and losing sleep over this. \n\nAITA for not giving my liver to the person accusing partner of theft and them later dying?\n\nEdit: thank you for all the positive and informative feedback. I think seeing the outside, impartial view on this has helped me put it in perspective. I've only been focusing on my selfishness causing his death, as opposed to his actions contributing too. I'll be getting some counselling, as suggested, to help deal with the constant what ifs in my brain and to help me move past this and to stop shouldering the burden.\n\nEdit: Well, this blew up. Thanks for the awards and positive vibes everyone, much appreciated. \nClearing up a few things\n- gf didn't steal, she was just doing her job getting change/paying invoices. The wife (who admitted to stealing later) simply used footage of her accessing the cash box to try to make it seem like she stole. I didn't state she was innocent as its innocent until proven guilty, and she wasn't found guilty, my mistake. \n- it's been pointed out that with boss so unwell, perhaps it wasn't him doing this, but his wife. That's a great point I never considered, and now makes me feel even more guilty. I should have checked.\n- we are in the UK so I guess our legal system works differently to the States in that I didn't have to pay a bail, just simply take her home and take her to the court dates. This could be why the policemen told us straight it seemed like bull and were very candid and kind to us; they even bought us lunch when one went to Subway.\n- also as said, the surgery would have probably been cancelled anyway as I did have another welfare check (or two) scheduled for that week with the transplant team at the hospital and I was hugely stressed out. My work gave me that week and the following off anyway for being such a good sport.\n- thanks for the dm's calling me a murderer, appreciated....", "role": "LiverDilemma2019", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"LiverDilemma2019\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_75vasvch\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1595856717.0, \"created_utc\": 1595856717.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1595880120.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hysbcq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hysbcq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1778, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hysbcq/aita_for_not_donating_my_liver_due_to_a_lawsuit/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26566, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My (24M) partner's (23F) close friend and boss (50'sM) at the mechanic shop needed a liver transplant. They had been on the list for a while and getting nowhere. Lots of us got tested and I was a match. We were all happy and thrilled that this direct donation could take place.\\n\\nA week before the surgery date, police showed up at our house to arrest my partner as her boss (person who was getting a piece of my liver) had accused her of theft. Claimed she'd stolen thousands from his bank account and stolen from the cash box. The police showed us the Cctv in which she reaches into the box, takes money and walks out of frame. 15 times, 15 days, 15 accusations. The police admitted they had no proof it was theft and no clue on the amounts taken as she used the box to take customers money and change. The police also said they didn't see how she accessed the bank accounts, and that they felt this was some sort of insurance fraud and they needed a scape goat.\\n\\nI immediately rang the hospital and my transplant coordinator and backed out of the surgery. We got on with our lives, partner found a new job and attended the court date where the case was thrown out 6 months later. \\n\\nA week after the case was dismissed, we got word boss had died. No one else had been a match or willing to get tested after news got out, and they never found a match in the transplant system in time.\\n\\nI feel so guilty. I allowed someone to die, pretty much murdered them. I let pettiness get in the way of saving a life. Partner and friends feel I did the right thing, none of this is on me and not giving a piece of me to the person possibly putting my partner in prison for a long time, a week before surgery, is my choice and the right choice. \\n\\nBosses friends and family have been ringing non-stop, harassing us at our jobs and posting online a lot how I'm a murderer and killed boss. That I should have given the liver anyway and been a good person. \\n\\nI feel I should have given it, but who bites the hand that feeds? I didn't want to get cut open, risk dying and other complications for someone who didn't care for me and mine, but now someone is dead from something I could have prevented. I'm conflicted and losing sleep over this. \\n\\nAITA for not giving my liver to the person accusing partner of theft and them later dying?\\n\\nEdit: thank you for all the positive and informative feedback. I think seeing the outside, impartial view on this has helped me put it in perspective. I've only been focusing on my selfishness causing his death, as opposed to his actions contributing too. I'll be getting some counselling, as suggested, to help deal with the constant what ifs in my brain and to help me move past this and to stop shouldering the burden.\\n\\nEdit: Well, this blew up. Thanks for the awards and positive vibes everyone, much appreciated. \\nClearing up a few things\\n- gf didn't steal, she was just doing her job getting change/paying invoices. The wife (who admitted to stealing later) simply used footage of her accessing the cash box to try to make it seem like she stole. I didn't state she was innocent as its innocent until proven guilty, and she wasn't found guilty, my mistake. \\n- it's been pointed out that with boss so unwell, perhaps it wasn't him doing this, but his wife. That's a great point I never considered, and now makes me feel even more guilty. I should have checked.\\n- we are in the UK so I guess our legal system works differently to the States in that I didn't have to pay a bail, just simply take her home and take her to the court dates. This could be why the policemen told us straight it seemed like bull and were very candid and kind to us; they even bought us lunch when one went to Subway.\\n- also as said, the surgery would have probably been cancelled anyway as I did have another welfare check (or two) scheduled for that week with the transplant team at the hospital and I was hugely stressed out. My work gave me that week and the following off anyway for being such a good sport.\\n- thanks for the dm's calling me a murderer, appreciated....\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My (24M) partner's (23F) close friend and boss (50'sM) at the mechanic shop needed a liver transplant. They had been on the list for a while and getting nowhere. Lots of us got tested and I was a match. We were all happy and thrilled that this direct donation could take place.</p>\\n\\n<p>A week before the surgery date, police showed up at our house to arrest my partner as her boss (person who was getting a piece of my liver) had accused her of theft. Claimed she'd stolen thousands from his bank account and stolen from the cash box. The police showed us the Cctv in which she reaches into the box, takes money and walks out of frame. 15 times, 15 days, 15 accusations. The police admitted they had no proof it was theft and no clue on the amounts taken as she used the box to take customers money and change. The police also said they didn't see how she accessed the bank accounts, and that they felt this was some sort of insurance fraud and they needed a scape goat.</p>\\n\\n<p>I immediately rang the hospital and my transplant coordinator and backed out of the surgery. We got on with our lives, partner found a new job and attended the court date where the case was thrown out 6 months later. </p>\\n\\n<p>A week after the case was dismissed, we got word boss had died. No one else had been a match or willing to get tested after news got out, and they never found a match in the transplant system in time.</p>\\n\\n<p>I feel so guilty. I allowed someone to die, pretty much murdered them. I let pettiness get in the way of saving a life. Partner and friends feel I did the right thing, none of this is on me and not giving a piece of me to the person possibly putting my partner in prison for a long time, a week before surgery, is my choice and the right choice. </p>\\n\\n<p>Bosses friends and family have been ringing non-stop, harassing us at our jobs and posting online a lot how I'm a murderer and killed boss. That I should have given the liver anyway and been a good person. </p>\\n\\n<p>I feel I should have given it, but who bites the hand that feeds? I didn't want to get cut open, risk dying and other complications for someone who didn't care for me and mine, but now someone is dead from something I could have prevented. I'm conflicted and losing sleep over this. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for not giving my liver to the person accusing partner of theft and them later dying?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: thank you for all the positive and informative feedback. I think seeing the outside, impartial view on this has helped me put it in perspective. I've only been focusing on my selfishness causing his death, as opposed to his actions contributing too. I'll be getting some counselling, as suggested, to help deal with the constant what ifs in my brain and to help me move past this and to stop shouldering the burden.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: Well, this blew up. Thanks for the awards and positive vibes everyone, much appreciated. \\nClearing up a few things\\n- gf didn't steal, she was just doing her job getting change/paying invoices. The wife (who admitted to stealing later) simply used footage of her accessing the cash box to try to make it seem like she stole. I didn't state she was innocent as its innocent until proven guilty, and she wasn't found guilty, my mistake. \\n- it's been pointed out that with boss so unwell, perhaps it wasn't him doing this, but his wife. That's a great point I never considered, and now makes me feel even more guilty. I should have checked.\\n- we are in the UK so I guess our legal system works differently to the States in that I didn't have to pay a bail, just simply take her home and take her to the court dates. This could be why the policemen told us straight it seemed like bull and were very candid and kind to us; they even bought us lunch when one went to Subway.\\n- also as said, the surgery would have probably been cancelled anyway as I did have another welfare check (or two) scheduled for that week with the transplant team at the hospital and I was hugely stressed out. My work gave me that week and the following off anyway for being such a good sport.\\n- thanks for the dm's calling me a murderer, appreciated....</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hysbcq\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not donating my liver due to a lawsuit and the person died?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26566, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hysbcq/aita_for_not_donating_my_liver_due_to_a_lawsuit/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You don't owe anybody your organs.\n\nThe boss did not care about your family, he didn't try to get your partner's side of the story before calling the police.\n\nReport them for harassment if they keep pestering you.\n\nHypothetically, even if your partner was stealing, the boss should have let it go. A transplant is priceless.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You don't owe anybody your organs.\\n\\nThe boss did not care about your family, he didn't try to get your partner's side of the story before calling the police.\\n\\nReport them for harassment if they keep pestering you.\\n\\nHypothetically, even if your partner was stealing, the boss should have let it go. A transplant is priceless.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You don't owe anybody your organs.</p>\\n\\n<p>The boss did not care about your family, he didn't try to get your partner's side of the story before calling the police.</p>\\n\\n<p>Report them for harassment if they keep pestering you.</p>\\n\\n<p>Hypothetically, even if your partner was stealing, the boss should have let it go. A transplant is priceless.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595858141.0, \"created_utc\": 1595858141.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzejy0w\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": 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null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27068, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "The phrase don't bite the hand that feeds seems VERY applicable here.\n\nWhat did they expect would happen, \"Oh yeah, i know you had my girlfriend arrested, anyway, lets go do this super dangerous surgery to make sure you can keep screwing people over\"", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"The phrase don't bite the hand that feeds seems VERY applicable here.\\n\\nWhat did they expect would happen, \\\"Oh yeah, i know you had my girlfriend arrested, anyway, lets go do this super dangerous surgery to make sure you can keep screwing people over\\\"\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>The phrase don't bite the hand that feeds seems VERY applicable here.</p>\\n\\n<p>What did they expect would happen, "Oh yeah, i know you had my girlfriend arrested, anyway, lets go do this super dangerous surgery to make sure you can keep screwing people over"</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595862336.0, \"created_utc\": 1595862336.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzerroe\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, 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transplant from an employee and then fired her. </p>\\n\\n<p><a href=\\\"https://abcnews.go.com/News/york-mom-fired-donating-kidney-boss/story?id=16195691\\\">https://abcnews.go.com/News/york-mom-fired-donating-kidney-boss/story?id=16195691</a></p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595862832.0, \"created_utc\": 1595862832.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1595880153.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzessdf\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, 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\"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"bekahed979\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#a1009f\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"33625110-28a0-11ee-a719-fa0dac6cc6da\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] | Bot Hunter [29]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4r3qs0uz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Link?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Link?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, 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\"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Much obliged", "role": "bekahed979", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"bekahed979\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#a1009f\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"33625110-28a0-11ee-a719-fa0dac6cc6da\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] | Bot Hunter [29]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4r3qs0uz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Much obliged\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Much obliged</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595866248.0, \"created_utc\": 1595866248.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzezw9e\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, 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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "df9b1fb8fbf25d62", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#a1009f", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "33625110-28a0-11ee-a719-fa0dac6cc6da", "author_flair_text": "Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] | Bot Hunter [29]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e4c844f81d61d3d7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That's the next town over from where I grew up! \n\nFuck that lady.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That's the next town over from where I grew up! </p>\n\n<p>Fuck that lady.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1595866496.0, "created_utc": 1595866496.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fzf0eth", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hysbcq", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fzf0eth", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fzezw9e", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hysbcq/aita_for_not_donating_my_liver_due_to_a_lawsuit/fzf0eth/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 27, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 27, "user_reports": []}
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FUCK HOSPITAL BILLING. Yeah, I said it. Fuck the entire billing department of every hospital in the United States. I hope they all get a paper cut just before going on vacation.
They over billed you because they can. They did it because nobody ever fights back. They do owe a written justification for their fuckery, and they they should be publicly shamed, by name.
You are a hero, NTA, and you’ve got a future in patient billing advocacy. If you charged 10% of the savings you managed to get people, you’d make a killing.
Your BF is afraid of conflict with the hallowed halls of authority. That’s fine. But if he wants a warrior woman as a partner, then he’s got to let you go out and slay the beasts. Great job.
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zdk3bq
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Identifying and calling out abusive relationship dynamics, particularly DARVO patterns and controlling behavior", "Child welfare and protection, especially regarding bodily autonomy and consent education", "LGBTQ+ family issues and acceptance, particularly around chosen family vs biological family", "Medical billing advocacy and fighting unjust healthcare costs in the US system", "Parent-child relationship dynamics, especially involving neglect, favoritism, and emotional abuse", "Boundary-setting in family relationships and cutting off toxic relatives", "Mental health advocacy and promoting therapy for trauma survivors", "Financial abuse and control within relationships", "Gender discrimination and 'nice guy' behavior patterns", "Supporting victims of manipulation and gaslighting", "Challenging traditional family hierarchies and expectations", "Advocating for people who stand up against institutional injustice"], "values": ["Strongly believes children should learn bodily autonomy early: 'She's learning now that she can't say no to things she doesn't like being done to her by a loved one'", "Prioritizes protecting victims over maintaining family harmony: 'It is 100% acceptable to ruin a bigots big day'", "Advocates immediate action against abusers: 'You need to leave. Don't go home any more. Inform security that she is a threat'", "Believes adults should not tolerate being infantilized: responds strongly to parents treating adult children as subordinates", "Values chosen family and legal bonds over biological connections in determining family relationships", "Supports fighting unjust systems aggressively: 'FUCK HOSPITAL BILLING... they should be publicly shamed, by name'", "Believes therapy is essential for processing trauma: 'Talk to a therapist... not giving him or your anger at him a place in your head will leave you much more free'", "Holds that parents bear responsibility as adults: 'He's the parent and he was the adult during all those years'", "Rejects the 'bigger person' narrative when dealing with repeated harm: 'Some people might try and make you feel bad for this... Nope to all that'", "Values direct confrontation over passive acceptance: consistently encourages people to stand up for themselves immediately", "Believes women should not have to cater to men's demands: 'Same for the socialization that taught you to feel bad for even politely requesting a man leave you alone'", "Supports practical management of difficult people: 'That is some weirdly controlling behavior... Get away fast'"], "communication": ["Uses emphatic capitalization for emotional impact: 'FUCK HOSPITAL BILLING', 'RIGHT NOW', 'FINALLY'", "Employs rhetorical questions to prompt self-reflection: 'Does she act like a partner in your life, or are you constantly trying to make sure she isn't angry at you?'", "Provides detailed, actionable step-by-step advice with specific instructions: 'CHECK YOUR CREDIT! Make sure she hasn't opened up accounts... FREEZE your credit at all 3 major bureaus'", "Uses short, punchy affirmations: 'DING DING DING! We have a winner!' and 'For real. It is 100% acceptable'", "Frames situations through role-reversal scenarios: 'If you saw a female coworker's husband doing these things, would you think she was safe at home?'", "Mixes casual language with serious analysis: combines phrases like 'Yep, that's a CLASSIC abuser pattern' with detailed psychological breakdowns", "Uses vivid imagery and pop culture references: 'Pretend there is an evil rabbit with sharp, point teeth... and RUN AWAY! Fleeeeee!'", "Employs direct, confrontational language without softening: 'She is not your partner, she is not a good person. She is your abusive wife'", "Structures longer responses with clear formatting, bullet points, and numbered lists", "Begins responses with validation before providing reasoning: 'You felt like you had to apologize for having the VERY REASONABLE desire'", "Uses repetition for emphasis: 'Nope. Nope to all that'", "Asks probing questions to help readers see patterns: 'Now imagine seeing yourself 5 years from now. If nothing changes, would you be happy or sad?'"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 8 words ('DING DING DING! We have a winner!') to over 400 words in detailed analyses", "Average response length approximately 100-150 words, with most falling in 50-200 word range", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment in responses", "Common phrases include: 'abuser pattern', 'get away', 'run', 'therapy', 'bodily autonomy', 'controlling behavior', 'DARVO'", "Uses all-caps words or phrases in approximately 60% of responses for emphasis", "Employs questions in nearly every response, often multiple rhetorical or reflective questions", "Structures approximately 30% of responses with bullet points or numbered lists", "Uses profanity strategically for emotional impact rather than casually throughout", "Sentence structure alternates between short, punchy statements and longer, complex analytical sentences", "Frequently quotes or paraphrases original post content to reference specific problematic behaviors"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for how I fought my boyfriend's medical bill, going \"too far\"?\n\nMy boyfriend had to go to the ER after a accident, and he got a truly ridiculous bill back. I offered to fight the bill for her because I've done it before, and he said sure. \n\nI went all-out, because honestly if we were out 5 grand, after insurance, that would fuck up our holiday plans pretty bad. \n\nSo I...\n\n- had him call the hospital and authorize me to handle his bill and access his medical records. \n\n- got an itemized bill and compared the prices for each code to the fair prices\n\n- called billing to dispute the bill, but was told that billing only collects bills, I'd need to contact admin to dispute\n\n- bounced around a call center for hours trying to get someone who was actually qualified for bill disputes, and getting nowhere \n\n- google and linkedin searched for the hospital board of directors and upper management \n\n- got 30 emails of the most influential people at the hospital, plus the hospital's investors\n\n- every day would send a few emails, working my way up the chain, and writing an (increasingly long) email describing how they billed my \"client\" at 7 times over the fair price for services rendered, and how their billing department, customer service department, and the growing list of management I'd emailed, had failed to address the issue. \n\n- escalated the emails until I was writing the director-level staff with the entire board of directors and a number of outside investors CC'd, asking for a written statement regarding their justification for billing at a rate 7 times higher than the national average, for commensurate services to what is available at other hospitals. And sternly laying out the failures to appropriately respond, at every level of the company. \n\nWell, once I'd done all that (which was honestly only like 15 minutes a day) they reduced the bill... From $5000 to $26. Yep, twenty-six fuckin dollars. \n\nWell, I told my boyfriend the good news, and he was at first overjoyed and blown away, like literally jumping up and down and hugging me and saying I was literally a Christmas miracle. \n\nBut then when he asked how I did it, I said it wasn't too hard, I just had to send a couple emails each day. He was curious what I'd said, and I handed him my phone. \n\nHe started to get stressed, and flipping back through other emails. Which there were like 60 of.\n\nHe told me I went way too far, he was expecting me to dispute through their billing department or something normal and reasonable like that, not internet stalk every single manager and board member and investor and harass them into dropping the bill. \n\nI was frustrated because I'd just saved us 5 grand, actually made it possible for us to afford a nice Christmas and save some money, and he was mad at me because I'd been a bit of a hardass? \n\nI was furious, and he was also mad at me, saying he authorized me to dispute a bill, not basically threaten and harass a whole damn hospital for weeks. \n\nAITA for how I got my boyfriend's medical bills dropped?", "role": "dingussdaisy", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"dingussdaisy\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_us8ffimz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1670275172.0, \"created_utc\": 1670275172.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1670275586.0, \"gilded\": 6, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"zdk3bq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_zdk3bq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 6244, \"num_crossposts\": 9, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zdk3bq/aita_for_how_i_fought_my_boyfriends_medical_bill/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 45137, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My boyfriend had to go to the ER after a accident, and he got a truly ridiculous bill back. I offered to fight the bill for her because I've done it before, and he said sure. \\n\\nI went all-out, because honestly if we were out 5 grand, after insurance, that would fuck up our holiday plans pretty bad. \\n\\nSo I...\\n\\n- had him call the hospital and authorize me to handle his bill and access his medical records. \\n\\n- got an itemized bill and compared the prices for each code to the fair prices\\n\\n- called billing to dispute the bill, but was told that billing only collects bills, I'd need to contact admin to dispute\\n\\n- bounced around a call center for hours trying to get someone who was actually qualified for bill disputes, and getting nowhere \\n\\n- google and linkedin searched for the hospital board of directors and upper management \\n\\n- got 30 emails of the most influential people at the hospital, plus the hospital's investors\\n\\n- every day would send a few emails, working my way up the chain, and writing an (increasingly long) email describing how they billed my \\\"client\\\" at 7 times over the fair price for services rendered, and how their billing department, customer service department, and the growing list of management I'd emailed, had failed to address the issue. \\n\\n- escalated the emails until I was writing the director-level staff with the entire board of directors and a number of outside investors CC'd, asking for a written statement regarding their justification for billing at a rate 7 times higher than the national average, for commensurate services to what is available at other hospitals. And sternly laying out the failures to appropriately respond, at every level of the company. \\n\\nWell, once I'd done all that (which was honestly only like 15 minutes a day) they reduced the bill... From $5000 to $26. Yep, twenty-six fuckin dollars. \\n\\nWell, I told my boyfriend the good news, and he was at first overjoyed and blown away, like literally jumping up and down and hugging me and saying I was literally a Christmas miracle. \\n\\nBut then when he asked how I did it, I said it wasn't too hard, I just had to send a couple emails each day. He was curious what I'd said, and I handed him my phone. \\n\\nHe started to get stressed, and flipping back through other emails. Which there were like 60 of.\\n\\nHe told me I went way too far, he was expecting me to dispute through their billing department or something normal and reasonable like that, not internet stalk every single manager and board member and investor and harass them into dropping the bill. \\n\\nI was frustrated because I'd just saved us 5 grand, actually made it possible for us to afford a nice Christmas and save some money, and he was mad at me because I'd been a bit of a hardass? \\n\\nI was furious, and he was also mad at me, saying he authorized me to dispute a bill, not basically threaten and harass a whole damn hospital for weeks. \\n\\nAITA for how I got my boyfriend's medical bills dropped?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My boyfriend had to go to the ER after a accident, and he got a truly ridiculous bill back. I offered to fight the bill for her because I've done it before, and he said sure. </p>\\n\\n<p>I went all-out, because honestly if we were out 5 grand, after insurance, that would fuck up our holiday plans pretty bad. </p>\\n\\n<p>So I...</p>\\n\\n<ul>\\n<li><p>had him call the hospital and authorize me to handle his bill and access his medical records. </p></li>\\n<li><p>got an itemized bill and compared the prices for each code to the fair prices</p></li>\\n<li><p>called billing to dispute the bill, but was told that billing only collects bills, I'd need to contact admin to dispute</p></li>\\n<li><p>bounced around a call center for hours trying to get someone who was actually qualified for bill disputes, and getting nowhere </p></li>\\n<li><p>google and linkedin searched for the hospital board of directors and upper management </p></li>\\n<li><p>got 30 emails of the most influential people at the hospital, plus the hospital's investors</p></li>\\n<li><p>every day would send a few emails, working my way up the chain, and writing an (increasingly long) email describing how they billed my "client" at 7 times over the fair price for services rendered, and how their billing department, customer service department, and the growing list of management I'd emailed, had failed to address the issue. </p></li>\\n<li><p>escalated the emails until I was writing the director-level staff with the entire board of directors and a number of outside investors CC'd, asking for a written statement regarding their justification for billing at a rate 7 times higher than the national average, for commensurate services to what is available at other hospitals. And sternly laying out the failures to appropriately respond, at every level of the company. </p></li>\\n</ul>\\n\\n<p>Well, once I'd done all that (which was honestly only like 15 minutes a day) they reduced the bill... From $5000 to $26. Yep, twenty-six fuckin dollars. </p>\\n\\n<p>Well, I told my boyfriend the good news, and he was at first overjoyed and blown away, like literally jumping up and down and hugging me and saying I was literally a Christmas miracle. </p>\\n\\n<p>But then when he asked how I did it, I said it wasn't too hard, I just had to send a couple emails each day. He was curious what I'd said, and I handed him my phone. </p>\\n\\n<p>He started to get stressed, and flipping back through other emails. Which there were like 60 of.</p>\\n\\n<p>He told me I went way too far, he was expecting me to dispute through their billing department or something normal and reasonable like that, not internet stalk every single manager and board member and investor and harass them into dropping the bill. </p>\\n\\n<p>I was frustrated because I'd just saved us 5 grand, actually made it possible for us to afford a nice Christmas and save some money, and he was mad at me because I'd been a bit of a hardass? </p>\\n\\n<p>I was furious, and he was also mad at me, saying he authorized me to dispute a bill, not basically threaten and harass a whole damn hospital for weeks. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for how I got my boyfriend's medical bills dropped?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_zdk3bq\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for how I fought my boyfriend's medical bill, going \\\"too far\\\"?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 45137, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zdk3bq/aita_for_how_i_fought_my_boyfriends_medical_bill/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "47e4e35e6b1a0759", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "64938630b6b4971a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "FUCK HOSPITAL BILLING. Yeah, I said it. Fuck the entire billing department of every hospital in the United States. I hope they all get a paper cut just before going on vacation. \n\nThey over billed you because they can. They did it because nobody ever fights back. They do owe a written justification for their fuckery, and they they should be publicly shamed, by name. \n\nYou are a hero, NTA, and you\u2019ve got a future in patient billing advocacy. If you charged 10% of the savings you managed to get people, you\u2019d make a killing. \n\nYour BF is afraid of conflict with the hallowed halls of authority. That\u2019s fine. But if he wants a warrior woman as a partner, then he\u2019s got to let you go out and slay the beasts. Great job.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>FUCK HOSPITAL BILLING. Yeah, I said it. Fuck the entire billing department of every hospital in the United States. I hope they all get a paper cut just before going on vacation. </p>\n\n<p>They over billed you because they can. They did it because nobody ever fights back. They do owe a written justification for their fuckery, and they they should be publicly shamed, by name. </p>\n\n<p>You are a hero, NTA, and you\u2019ve got a future in patient billing advocacy. If you charged 10% of the savings you managed to get people, you\u2019d make a killing. </p>\n\n<p>Your BF is afraid of conflict with the hallowed halls of authority. That\u2019s fine. But if he wants a warrior woman as a partner, then he\u2019s got to let you go out and slay the beasts. Great job.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1670277489.0, "created_utc": 1670277489.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "iz21hyj", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zdk3bq", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_iz21hyj", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_zdk3bq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zdk3bq/aita_for_how_i_fought_my_boyfriends_medical_bill/iz21hyj/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "331655f1eb3fa16a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "74560c262671f8b7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I paid 17k over years due to cancer. And not even insane treatment. I'd rather have paid her money to get it down than them 100%. $1700 was nothing in comparison", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I paid 17k over years due to cancer. And not even insane treatment. I'd rather have paid her money to get it down than them 100%. $1700 was nothing in comparison</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1670292136.0, "created_utc": 1670292136.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "iz2yo6w", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_zdk3bq", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_iz2yo6w", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_iz21hyj", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/zdk3bq/aita_for_how_i_fought_my_boyfriends_medical_bill/iz2yo6w/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 49, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 49, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 602, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 602, "user_reports": []}
|
That's literally how I learned poker. I have an older cousin who got stuck at the "kids" table until he was around 22. He's older than the rest of the cousins by almost a decade (more in a couple cases)... so he taught us all poker. I think I was 11 or 12 at the time.
|
p2n3hq
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40c278416c53a49b
| 1,628,786,055
| 5
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and interpersonal dynamics, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Workplace ethics and professional boundaries, especially regarding exploitation and fair compensation", "Technical problem-solving, demonstrated through detailed router configuration advice using whitelisting, blacklisting, and access scheduling", "Cultural sensitivity and racism, actively calling out stereotyping and microaggressions", "Financial abuse and exploitation within family systems", "Manipulation tactics and passive-aggressive behavior patterns in relationships", "Legal rights and proper procedures in adoption, employment, and personal disputes", "Mental health and therapy, discussing anxiety management and therapeutic approaches"], "values": ["Strong advocacy for personal boundaries, stating 'NEVER set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm' when discussing self-sacrifice", "Opposition to one-sided family obligations, arguing that 'family helps each other' should not mean 'blind servitude'", "Belief in holding people accountable for racist behavior, calling out the 'kung pao chicken' comment as 'blatant racism'", "Support for fair compensation for labor, calculating that working '87 days out of just over 200' on maternity leave constitutes exploitation", "Emphasis on consent and autonomy, particularly regarding unwanted fetishes or behaviors imposed on others", "Recognition that professional expertise deserves respect regardless of cultural context", "Belief that children's welfare should take priority over adults' desires, as in adoption disputes", "Support for practical problem-solving over emotional manipulation, offering technical solutions to wifi issues", "Opposition to financial abuse, identifying when someone is 'being financially abused' by family members", "Advocacy for legal recourse and proper documentation when rights are violated", "Understanding of nuanced situations while maintaining clear moral positions on right and wrong", "Belief that conflict avoidance ('be the bigger person' mentality) can enable harmful behavior"], "communication": ["Frequently quotes original post text using '>' formatting, then provides direct commentary on the quoted section", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight contradictions, such as 'And Friend B is only one person... what if SHE'S wrong?'", "Employs emphatic language and occasional profanity for emphasis, like 'fuck that' or 'what the hell'", "Structures longer responses with numbered points or logical sequences to break down complex arguments", "Uses ellipses frequently for dramatic pause or emphasis, as in 'Well, he's going to be buying a platter, then...'", "Adopts a conversational, direct tone that feels like speaking to a friend rather than formal writing", "Provides practical, actionable advice alongside moral judgments (e.g., router configuration steps, legal consultation recommendations)", "Uses italics for emphasis on key words or phrases to highlight important points", "Incorporates technical terminology when relevant, demonstrating subject matter knowledge", "Balances empathy with directness, acknowledging difficult situations while maintaining clear positions", "Varies sentence length from short, punchy statements to complex, multi-clause explanations", "Often begins responses by directly addressing a specific point or quote before expanding into broader analysis"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from approximately 30 words (brief comments) to over 250 words (detailed analyses)", "Average response length appears to be around 80-120 words", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) as a judgment in AITA contexts", "Common phrases include 'you owe them nothing', 'family helps each other', 'personal boundaries', and 'hold accountable'", "Uses ellipses (...) in nearly every response for emphasis or dramatic pause", "Employs quoted text formatting ('>') in approximately 70% of responses", "Technical vocabulary appears in specific contexts (MAC addresses, whitelisting, router configuration, turkey thawing times)", "Rhetorical questions appear in about 40% of responses to emphasize points", "Sentence structure varies significantly, with both short declarative sentences and complex compound-complex sentences", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently to add context or clarification to main points"]}
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I sit next to my dad and get a weird look from my aunt as she says to me, \"this is the adult's table.\" To which I reply, \"I am an adult(?).\" She tells me that the 1st and 2nd generations are considered adult and the 3rd and 4th generations should sit at the kid's table since we \"don't have much to contribute to adult conversations.\" I tell her that I can drink, that I drove here, that I pay rent and have a job, so how am I still considered a child? She says that until I have kids of my own I'll have to sit at the kid's table.\n\nAccording to my aunt, there are 8 children (ages 6-22) and 8 adults (ages 25-75) so I should just sit at the kid's table since it'll be even, but there is plenty of space at the adult table and I don't want to be stuck with 5 literal children. She still disagrees and at this point my uncle and grandparents back her up, so I say fuck it, take my quiche back, tell them to have a nice day, and drive away. I get a few texts telling me to come back by my dad and grandparents. I ask if aunt is going to apologize and they ask \"for what?\" That was enough for me to disregard their other messages and calls until I got home, where I am now.\n\nI feel shitty that I may have possibly ruined a nice family gathering, but feel my family doesn't respect me at all, enough to say that I am still a child and apparently have the same mentality as 6 year olds. AITA?\n\nEdit: This really blew up! Thanks for the awards and all the positive comments. And no, this doesn't mean that these bridges are burned. Family is family, but I'll make my own private table with blackjack and hookers next time, with VIP access. Last thing I want to say is that you just lost The Game.", "role": "Korzaz", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Korzaz\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#e3be04\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"e899ca7e-a710-11e9-8365-0e193c0f4a16\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Professor Emeritass [91]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9q4zy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1628718862.0, \"created_utc\": 1628718862.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1628730414.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"p2n3hq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_p2n3hq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2386, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p2n3hq/aita_for_leaving_a_family_gathering_because_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24954, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"For context: I haven't seen my full family together in quite some time, so they set up a get together at a park today. The family gathering includes me (22m), my brother (21), my sister (25), her husband (29) and their two kids, my dad, step-mom and her kids (6 and 9) aunt, uncle, my two cousins (15 and 20), grandma, and grandpa. \\n\\nI get there with some picnic items (I brought a quiche and the cups) and see a few members setting up. I say hi and help set up the tables and set the food out. We talk and play games while the others show up. When everyone gets there, we sit down to eat. I sit next to my dad and get a weird look from my aunt as she says to me, \\\"this is the adult's table.\\\" To which I reply, \\\"I am an adult(?).\\\" She tells me that the 1st and 2nd generations are considered adult and the 3rd and 4th generations should sit at the kid's table since we \\\"don't have much to contribute to adult conversations.\\\" I tell her that I can drink, that I drove here, that I pay rent and have a job, so how am I still considered a child? She says that until I have kids of my own I'll have to sit at the kid's table.\\n\\nAccording to my aunt, there are 8 children (ages 6-22) and 8 adults (ages 25-75) so I should just sit at the kid's table since it'll be even, but there is plenty of space at the adult table and I don't want to be stuck with 5 literal children. She still disagrees and at this point my uncle and grandparents back her up, so I say fuck it, take my quiche back, tell them to have a nice day, and drive away. I get a few texts telling me to come back by my dad and grandparents. I ask if aunt is going to apologize and they ask \\\"for what?\\\" That was enough for me to disregard their other messages and calls until I got home, where I am now.\\n\\nI feel shitty that I may have possibly ruined a nice family gathering, but feel my family doesn't respect me at all, enough to say that I am still a child and apparently have the same mentality as 6 year olds. AITA?\\n\\nEdit: This really blew up! Thanks for the awards and all the positive comments. And no, this doesn't mean that these bridges are burned. Family is family, but I'll make my own private table with blackjack and hookers next time, with VIP access. Last thing I want to say is that you just lost The Game.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>For context: I haven't seen my full family together in quite some time, so they set up a get together at a park today. The family gathering includes me (22m), my brother (21), my sister (25), her husband (29) and their two kids, my dad, step-mom and her kids (6 and 9) aunt, uncle, my two cousins (15 and 20), grandma, and grandpa. </p>\\n\\n<p>I get there with some picnic items (I brought a quiche and the cups) and see a few members setting up. I say hi and help set up the tables and set the food out. We talk and play games while the others show up. When everyone gets there, we sit down to eat. I sit next to my dad and get a weird look from my aunt as she says to me, "this is the adult's table." To which I reply, "I am an adult(?)." She tells me that the 1st and 2nd generations are considered adult and the 3rd and 4th generations should sit at the kid's table since we "don't have much to contribute to adult conversations." I tell her that I can drink, that I drove here, that I pay rent and have a job, so how am I still considered a child? She says that until I have kids of my own I'll have to sit at the kid's table.</p>\\n\\n<p>According to my aunt, there are 8 children (ages 6-22) and 8 adults (ages 25-75) so I should just sit at the kid's table since it'll be even, but there is plenty of space at the adult table and I don't want to be stuck with 5 literal children. She still disagrees and at this point my uncle and grandparents back her up, so I say fuck it, take my quiche back, tell them to have a nice day, and drive away. I get a few texts telling me to come back by my dad and grandparents. I ask if aunt is going to apologize and they ask "for what?" That was enough for me to disregard their other messages and calls until I got home, where I am now.</p>\\n\\n<p>I feel shitty that I may have possibly ruined a nice family gathering, but feel my family doesn't respect me at all, enough to say that I am still a child and apparently have the same mentality as 6 year olds. AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: This really blew up! Thanks for the awards and all the positive comments. And no, this doesn't mean that these bridges are burned. Family is family, but I'll make my own private table with blackjack and hookers next time, with VIP access. Last thing I want to say is that you just lost The Game.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_p2n3hq\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for leaving a family gathering because my family made me sit at the kid table?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24954, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p2n3hq/aita_for_leaving_a_family_gathering_because_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA - I love you took your quiche with you too.", "role": "alsmit250", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"alsmit250\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_ddnwfy1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA - I love you took your quiche with you too.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA - I love you took your quiche with you too.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, 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\"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27697, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "It tastes sweeter for some reason", "role": "Korzaz", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Korzaz\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#e3be04\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"e899ca7e-a710-11e9-8365-0e193c0f4a16\", \"author_flair_text\": 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{"content": "I hope you ate the whole thing to yourself in the apartment you can legally rent because you're a fucking adult. Next time offer some conversation starters for the kids table, just to run it by the adults.\n 1. The current political condition\n2. Their choice of birth control methods\n3. Where they're planning on going to grad school\n4. Best hangover cure\nJust to name a few. Honestly, I wouldn't want my 21 yo self hanging out at a kids table cause I'd open my stupid mouth and teach em a few bad words. \"Can't contribute\" probably more likely \"Won't let us make stupid claims with no source\" or \"Is too politically correct\" because they're dropping slurs.", "role": "ICICLEHOAX", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ICICLEHOAX\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_31nb9o7z\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I hope you ate the whole thing to yourself in the apartment you can legally rent because you're a fucking adult. Next time offer some conversation starters for the kids table, just to run it by the adults.\\n 1. The current political condition\\n2. Their choice of birth control methods\\n3. Where they're planning on going to grad school\\n4. Best hangover cure\\nJust to name a few. Honestly, I wouldn't want my 21 yo self hanging out at a kids table cause I'd open my stupid mouth and teach em a few bad words. \\\"Can't contribute\\\" probably more likely \\\"Won't let us make stupid claims with no source\\\" or \\\"Is too politically correct\\\" because they're dropping slurs.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I hope you ate the whole thing to yourself in the apartment you can legally rent because you're a fucking adult. Next time offer some conversation starters for the kids table, just to run it by the adults.\\n 1. The current political condition\\n2. Their choice of birth control methods\\n3. Where they're planning on going to grad school\\n4. Best hangover cure\\nJust to name a few. Honestly, I wouldn't want my 21 yo self hanging out at a kids table cause I'd open my stupid mouth and teach em a few bad words. "Can't contribute" probably more likely "Won't let us make stupid claims with no source" or "Is too politically correct" because they're dropping slurs.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1628729646.0, \"created_utc\": 1628729646.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h8lsw67\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p2n3hq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h8lsw67\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h8l8gvl\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p2n3hq/aita_for_leaving_a_family_gathering_because_my/h8lsw67/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2553, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2553, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Teach the kids all the best adult words and jokes, oh and blackjack, or poker. Yup teach them kiddies to gamble that\u2019s the ticket.", "role": "ladysilarial", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ladysilarial\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_16ntr2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Teach the kids all the best adult words and jokes, oh and blackjack, or poker. Yup teach them kiddies to gamble that\\u2019s the ticket.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Teach the kids all the best adult words and jokes, oh and blackjack, or poker. Yup teach them kiddies to gamble that\\u2019s the ticket.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1628731557.0, \"created_utc\": 1628731557.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h8lwxqj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p2n3hq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h8lwxqj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h8lsw67\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p2n3hq/aita_for_leaving_a_family_gathering_because_my/h8lwxqj/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 801, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 801, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "40c278416c53a49b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5936e871405a9a9c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That's literally how I learned poker. I have an older cousin who got stuck at the \"kids\" table until he was around 22. He's older than the rest of the cousins by almost a decade (more in a couple cases)... so he taught us all poker. I think I was 11 or 12 at the time.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That's literally how I learned poker. I have an older cousin who got stuck at the "kids" table until he was around 22. He's older than the rest of the cousins by almost a decade (more in a couple cases)... so he taught us all poker. I think I was 11 or 12 at the time.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1628786055.0, "created_utc": 1628786055.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h8o7u0o", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_p2n3hq", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h8o7u0o", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h8lwxqj", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p2n3hq/aita_for_leaving_a_family_gathering_because_my/h8o7u0o/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
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Mom is sweet for trying to stay neutral and trying to relate to both of your POVS, but in this particular situation, she needs to reality check your sister that the mere request of “asking” to borrow your dress was incredibly insensitive and distasteful. The entitlement and attitude is even grosser. How do they not see how awkward and upsetting it would be for you, to see your sister get married, in the wedding gown that you were supposed to wear to your own wedding, especially so soon after. How do they even think it’s okay to make such a request when you were probably having an emotional breakdown. It’s absolutely crazy to me.
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erfvwt
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0f4186e7d1f423ac
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{"demographics": {"age group": "30s", "gender": "Female", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married, mentions having a husband who is 'super respectful' and tells her she's beautiful"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly in blended family situations", "Relationship boundaries and appropriate social behavior", "Women's experiences with insecurity and self-esteem issues", "Parenting approaches and child-rearing philosophies", "Wedding traditions and etiquette", "Financial responsibility and entitlement in family relationships", "Privacy rights and personal boundaries", "Therapy and mental health treatment approaches", "Women's safety and harassment issues", "Cooking and recipe sharing, particularly healthy eating", "Pet ownership and animal welfare (mentions having a dog)", "Social media behavior and online etiquette"], "values": ["Personal boundaries and consent are paramount, as shown by stating 'My insecurity is my problem' when discussing her own feelings", "Timing and sensitivity matter in difficult situations, calling requests 'terrible and incredibly tacky time to ask'", "Personal responsibility over one's choices, stating 'Not really your problem she chose to have children'", "Privacy should be respected, especially in therapeutic contexts: 'What you say and do in therapy is supposed to be safe and private'", "Women should speak up against harassment, while acknowledging 'it's still hard for me to speak up sometimes when I feel like men are pushing my boundaries'", "Financial independence and not feeling entitled to others' resources", "Empathy for others' insecurities while maintaining that they shouldn't control others' behavior", "Long-term thinking over short-term solutions, noting 'it's not really going to help in the long run'", "Practical problem-solving and offering constructive alternatives", "Trust issues and insecurities often 'run deeper' than surface-level relationship problems", "Children need professional help to process difficult emotions: 'daughter desperately needs counseling'", "Actions have consequences, questioning 'is OP going to take away their Christmas gifts' if children misbehave again"], "communication": ["Uses conversational tone with casual language like 'lol', 'bitchhhhhh', and 'wifey' mixed with formal analysis", "Frequently shares personal anecdotes to support arguments, such as 'My husband is super respectful' and 'My parents used to pay me to do chores'", "Employs rhetorical questions for emphasis: 'How do they not see how awkward and upsetting it would be'", "Provides detailed, multi-paragraph explanations when discussing complex situations", "Uses humor and lighthearted comments, like misreading 'PMs' as 'PMS (premenstrual syndrome)'", "Offers practical suggestions and alternatives: 'You should try adding crushed salted pretzels next time'", "Begins many responses with agreement phrases: 'I agree', 'Exactly', 'Not to mention'", "Uses conditional statements to explore hypothetical scenarios: 'If she was going to ask', 'would have'", "Employs emphatic language for strong opinions: 'incredibly insensitive', 'So incredibly rude and distasteful'", "Balances multiple perspectives before reaching conclusions", "Uses ellipses for dramatic effect or to show trailing thoughts"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 10-20 words for brief agreements to 150+ words for detailed explanations", "Most common opening phrases: 'I agree', 'Not to mention', 'Exactly', 'I wonder if'", "Frequently uses phrases: 'incredibly insensitive', 'not really your problem', 'needs to', 'would have', 'I wonder if'", "Average response length approximately 50-80 words", "Longest responses exceed 150 words when discussing personal experiences or complex situations", "Uses conditional 'if/would' constructions frequently to explore hypotheticals", "Employs rhetorical questions in approximately 30% of responses", "Includes personal anecdotes in roughly 40% of longer responses", "Uses casual internet language ('lol', emojis like '\ud83d\ude05') in shorter, lighter responses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for cutting up and altering my wedding dress into a functional dress instead of giving it to my sister who can't afford an expensive dress?\n\nI need an unbiased opinion on this because I don't know if i was the asshole.\n\nThrowaway because I am active in other communities and I don't want this to mix.\n\nSo I was supposed to get married 2 moths ago to my ex partner of 5 years. Sadly we broke it off because he cheated on me on his bachelor party with a striper.\n\nI had this beautiful dress that cost me arround 2k dollars (out of my pocket). I had been very depressed since everything happened because I felt it was somehow my fault for not being sexy enough or not giving him what he wanted. So last weekend I decided to \"take my power back\" and I began altering the dress. I have been sewing for 15 plus years so I know what I am doing. I cut it a bit, changed the color to something less wedding-y and after a week of work I had a beautiful gown that I could use for more stuff.\n\nThe problem comes now. I uploaded that picture of the dress to Instagram with a caption that said something along the lines of \" you can change the worst memories\" or some shit like that.\n\nMy sister hits me up and asks me if that was my old wedding dress and I told her yes. She then called me and asked me why I had done this. I asked her why it was such a big deal. And she told me that I could have waited till after he wedding. I was so confused. Then she reminded me that when we were staying at the hotel where my wedding was supposed to happen my mom and sister where there cheering me up and my sister said something along the lines of \"oh well if you are not using it i will\". We all laughed so I thought it was a joke because it was never brought up again after. She just asked me once what material it was so I assumed she wanted something similar.\n\nNow my sister is mad at me and my mom says she understands our povs. But that I could have waited 5 more moths till after her wedding to \"take my power back\"\n\nAITA?\n\nEdit : yes he fucked the stripper please stop asking me\n\nEdit2: what the fuck is wrong with some of you. Suddenly I am the asshole for leaving my ex for cheating on me because it doesn't count because it was his bachelor party? Do you know how relationships work. Are you also going to tell me that if he cheated on a Saturday it wouldn't count? Or if he left the country? This is hilarious coming from a sub that says cheaters are the worst people In this world. Cheating is cheating period", "role": "aitaweddingdresscu", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"aitaweddingdresscu\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5hle7b8s\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1579539409.0, \"created_utc\": 1579539409.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1579557939.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"erfvwt\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_erfvwt\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2486, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/erfvwt/aita_for_cutting_up_and_altering_my_wedding_dress/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28698, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I need an unbiased opinion on this because I don't know if i was the asshole.\\n\\nThrowaway because I am active in other communities and I don't want this to mix.\\n\\nSo I was supposed to get married 2 moths ago to my ex partner of 5 years. Sadly we broke it off because he cheated on me on his bachelor party with a striper.\\n\\nI had this beautiful dress that cost me arround 2k dollars (out of my pocket). I had been very depressed since everything happened because I felt it was somehow my fault for not being sexy enough or not giving him what he wanted. So last weekend I decided to \\\"take my power back\\\" and I began altering the dress. I have been sewing for 15 plus years so I know what I am doing. I cut it a bit, changed the color to something less wedding-y and after a week of work I had a beautiful gown that I could use for more stuff.\\n\\nThe problem comes now. I uploaded that picture of the dress to Instagram with a caption that said something along the lines of \\\" you can change the worst memories\\\" or some shit like that.\\n\\nMy sister hits me up and asks me if that was my old wedding dress and I told her yes. She then called me and asked me why I had done this. I asked her why it was such a big deal. And she told me that I could have waited till after he wedding. I was so confused. Then she reminded me that when we were staying at the hotel where my wedding was supposed to happen my mom and sister where there cheering me up and my sister said something along the lines of \\\"oh well if you are not using it i will\\\". We all laughed so I thought it was a joke because it was never brought up again after. She just asked me once what material it was so I assumed she wanted something similar.\\n\\nNow my sister is mad at me and my mom says she understands our povs. But that I could have waited 5 more moths till after her wedding to \\\"take my power back\\\"\\n\\nAITA?\\n\\nEdit : yes he fucked the stripper please stop asking me\\n\\nEdit2: what the fuck is wrong with some of you. Suddenly I am the asshole for leaving my ex for cheating on me because it doesn't count because it was his bachelor party? Do you know how relationships work. Are you also going to tell me that if he cheated on a Saturday it wouldn't count? Or if he left the country? This is hilarious coming from a sub that says cheaters are the worst people In this world. Cheating is cheating period\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I need an unbiased opinion on this because I don't know if i was the asshole.</p>\\n\\n<p>Throwaway because I am active in other communities and I don't want this to mix.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I was supposed to get married 2 moths ago to my ex partner of 5 years. Sadly we broke it off because he cheated on me on his bachelor party with a striper.</p>\\n\\n<p>I had this beautiful dress that cost me arround 2k dollars (out of my pocket). I had been very depressed since everything happened because I felt it was somehow my fault for not being sexy enough or not giving him what he wanted. So last weekend I decided to "take my power back" and I began altering the dress. I have been sewing for 15 plus years so I know what I am doing. I cut it a bit, changed the color to something less wedding-y and after a week of work I had a beautiful gown that I could use for more stuff.</p>\\n\\n<p>The problem comes now. I uploaded that picture of the dress to Instagram with a caption that said something along the lines of " you can change the worst memories" or some shit like that.</p>\\n\\n<p>My sister hits me up and asks me if that was my old wedding dress and I told her yes. She then called me and asked me why I had done this. I asked her why it was such a big deal. And she told me that I could have waited till after he wedding. I was so confused. Then she reminded me that when we were staying at the hotel where my wedding was supposed to happen my mom and sister where there cheering me up and my sister said something along the lines of "oh well if you are not using it i will". We all laughed so I thought it was a joke because it was never brought up again after. She just asked me once what material it was so I assumed she wanted something similar.</p>\\n\\n<p>Now my sister is mad at me and my mom says she understands our povs. But that I could have waited 5 more moths till after her wedding to "take my power back"</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit : yes he fucked the stripper please stop asking me</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit2: what the fuck is wrong with some of you. Suddenly I am the asshole for leaving my ex for cheating on me because it doesn't count because it was his bachelor party? Do you know how relationships work. Are you also going to tell me that if he cheated on a Saturday it wouldn't count? Or if he left the country? This is hilarious coming from a sub that says cheaters are the worst people In this world. Cheating is cheating period</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_erfvwt\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for cutting up and altering my wedding dress into a functional dress instead of giving it to my sister who can't afford an expensive dress?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28698, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/erfvwt/aita_for_cutting_up_and_altering_my_wedding_dress/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA- What an entitled little brat your sister is. It\u2019s YOUR dress. Yours. 100% yours. And your mom should be telling your sister to mind her own damn business. It would have been painful for you to see her wear YOUR dress to get married after having your heart broke. Fuck that noise. Hard no.", "role": "HellaHighAtHogwarts", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"HellaHighAtHogwarts\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#c7a509\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d5e9f50c-a710-11e9-895a-0ec19882c37a\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Pooperintendant [57]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3emwthld\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA- What an entitled little brat your sister is. It\\u2019s YOUR dress. Yours. 100% yours. And your mom should be telling your sister to mind her own damn business. It would have been painful for you to see her wear YOUR dress to get married after having your heart broke. Fuck that noise. Hard no.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA- What an entitled little brat your sister is. It\\u2019s YOUR dress. Yours. 100% yours. And your mom should be telling your sister to mind her own damn business. It would have been painful for you to see her wear YOUR dress to get married after having your heart broke. Fuck that noise. Hard no.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1579539675.0, \"created_utc\": 1579539675.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ff3exax\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_erfvwt\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ff3exax\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_erfvwt\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/erfvwt/aita_for_cutting_up_and_altering_my_wedding_dress/ff3exax/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 729, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 729, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0f4186e7d1f423ac", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "2ae6182fc72de65d", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Mom is sweet for trying to stay neutral and trying to relate to both of your POVS, but in this particular situation, she needs to reality check your sister that the mere request of \u201casking\u201d to borrow your dress was incredibly insensitive and distasteful. The entitlement and attitude is even grosser. How do they not see how awkward and upsetting it would be for you, to see your sister get married, in the wedding gown that you were supposed to wear to your own wedding, especially so soon after. How do they even think it\u2019s okay to make such a request when you were probably having an emotional breakdown. It\u2019s absolutely crazy to me.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Mom is sweet for trying to stay neutral and trying to relate to both of your POVS, but in this particular situation, she needs to reality check your sister that the mere request of \u201casking\u201d to borrow your dress was incredibly insensitive and distasteful. The entitlement and attitude is even grosser. How do they not see how awkward and upsetting it would be for you, to see your sister get married, in the wedding gown that you were supposed to wear to your own wedding, especially so soon after. How do they even think it\u2019s okay to make such a request when you were probably having an emotional breakdown. It\u2019s absolutely crazy to me.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1579554770.0, "created_utc": 1579554770.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ff43k3e", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_erfvwt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ff43k3e", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ff3exax", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/erfvwt/aita_for_cutting_up_and_altering_my_wedding_dress/ff43k3e/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 156, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 156, "user_reports": []}
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> It is about being concerned and is appropriate if presented correctly
[...quoted text...]
I disagree. There's no reason to bother other people with your concerns. Especially about something like this where people *know* they're being unhealthy.
This whole "I accept everyone as long as they're trying to be healthy!" attitude is pretty odd to me. Being "healthy" the way *you* want someone to be healthy is their choice, not wanting to go through the effort to be healthy is a perfectly valid choice too.
Add to that the nonsense I've heard people talk about as "healthy" and it gets even worse.
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d31cjt
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b03acbb6d2ec4902
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[{"content": "AITA for calling my body-positive co-worker \"unhealthy, deluded, and bitter\" after some rude comments she made about me?\n\nI'm currently working part-time at a restaurant on my university's campus. I mostly work shifts with this one girl, we'll call her 'Anna', who is all for the body-positivity movement. She embraces her body type and regularly posts inspiring quotes or images on her social media accounts. Personally, I have nothing against this at all. I am also in full support of treating and accepting everyone no matter their body type. However, I do believe that everyone should be healthy (eating right, exercising, taking care of their mental health, etc) or at least attempting to be. I don't support those who use the body positivity movement to as a cloak to shield and justify their unhealthy and damaging behaviors. \n\nHowever, despite being a \"supporter,\" Anna regularly comments on my body type. For example, I always bring food for my shifts since I personally think the food there is not the healthiest (burgers, fries, more fried food, etc.). Anna will often say things like, \"You should eat a burger, you could use a few extra pounds honey!\" or \"You look skinnier than last week. I told you to stop eating salads everyday haha.\" She'll sometimes even feign concern for me and ask me in private if I was \"struggling with my weight\" and then proceed to tell me that I look \"way too skinny to be healthy.\" One time I was changing into my work shirt in the back and Anna saw my stomach and commented that my stomach was starting to \"look like a man's.\" I have no idea what that even means but I doubt it was a compliment.\n\nThese hypocritical comments have pissed me off. I enjoy eating healthy and cooking my own meals and I enjoy working out and staying toned. Anna on the other hand gorges herself on the food in our restaurant, drinks about three cans of coke per shift and does not work out. I don't think this is healthy. \n\nFinally, during yesterday's shift, this guy I kinda like came in to get some food and I was super excited to see him. He turned out to be a bit cold towards me and the whole event was a bit anti-climactic. Oh well. Anna witnessed the whole thing and after he left, she said, \"Maybe he's into curvier girls.\" I basically blew up at her and called her out for all of her hypocrisy. I asked how she could call herself a supporter of body positivity when she regularly shamed my body. Then I told her that she was unhealthy in many ways (I called her out on her eating habits), bitter and jealous of others who are in control of their health and bodies, and deluded for believing that she is healthy and fit. \n\nShe called me insecure and told me I was being a rude bitch. It was reaching the end of our shift so I clocked out early and left so I didn't have to argue with her more. I was mad for a bit and told one of my best friends. She said that I was right and all but that I was insensitive in the way I brought it up and suggested that I apologize. I'm standing my ground but want to hear other opinions as well.", "role": "strangeste", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"strangeste\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4kiix13q\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1568255362.0, \"created_utc\": 1568255362.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"d31cjt\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_d31cjt\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 358, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d31cjt/aita_for_calling_my_bodypositive_coworker/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27622, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm currently working part-time at a restaurant on my university's campus. I mostly work shifts with this one girl, we'll call her 'Anna', who is all for the body-positivity movement. She embraces her body type and regularly posts inspiring quotes or images on her social media accounts. Personally, I have nothing against this at all. I am also in full support of treating and accepting everyone no matter their body type. However, I do believe that everyone should be healthy (eating right, exercising, taking care of their mental health, etc) or at least attempting to be. I don't support those who use the body positivity movement to as a cloak to shield and justify their unhealthy and damaging behaviors. \\n\\nHowever, despite being a \\\"supporter,\\\" Anna regularly comments on my body type. For example, I always bring food for my shifts since I personally think the food there is not the healthiest (burgers, fries, more fried food, etc.). Anna will often say things like, \\\"You should eat a burger, you could use a few extra pounds honey!\\\" or \\\"You look skinnier than last week. I told you to stop eating salads everyday haha.\\\" She'll sometimes even feign concern for me and ask me in private if I was \\\"struggling with my weight\\\" and then proceed to tell me that I look \\\"way too skinny to be healthy.\\\" One time I was changing into my work shirt in the back and Anna saw my stomach and commented that my stomach was starting to \\\"look like a man's.\\\" I have no idea what that even means but I doubt it was a compliment.\\n\\nThese hypocritical comments have pissed me off. I enjoy eating healthy and cooking my own meals and I enjoy working out and staying toned. Anna on the other hand gorges herself on the food in our restaurant, drinks about three cans of coke per shift and does not work out. I don't think this is healthy. \\n\\nFinally, during yesterday's shift, this guy I kinda like came in to get some food and I was super excited to see him. He turned out to be a bit cold towards me and the whole event was a bit anti-climactic. Oh well. Anna witnessed the whole thing and after he left, she said, \\\"Maybe he's into curvier girls.\\\" I basically blew up at her and called her out for all of her hypocrisy. I asked how she could call herself a supporter of body positivity when she regularly shamed my body. Then I told her that she was unhealthy in many ways (I called her out on her eating habits), bitter and jealous of others who are in control of their health and bodies, and deluded for believing that she is healthy and fit. \\n\\nShe called me insecure and told me I was being a rude bitch. It was reaching the end of our shift so I clocked out early and left so I didn't have to argue with her more. I was mad for a bit and told one of my best friends. She said that I was right and all but that I was insensitive in the way I brought it up and suggested that I apologize. I'm standing my ground but want to hear other opinions as well.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm currently working part-time at a restaurant on my university's campus. I mostly work shifts with this one girl, we'll call her 'Anna', who is all for the body-positivity movement. She embraces her body type and regularly posts inspiring quotes or images on her social media accounts. Personally, I have nothing against this at all. I am also in full support of treating and accepting everyone no matter their body type. However, I do believe that everyone should be healthy (eating right, exercising, taking care of their mental health, etc) or at least attempting to be. I don't support those who use the body positivity movement to as a cloak to shield and justify their unhealthy and damaging behaviors. </p>\\n\\n<p>However, despite being a "supporter," Anna regularly comments on my body type. For example, I always bring food for my shifts since I personally think the food there is not the healthiest (burgers, fries, more fried food, etc.). Anna will often say things like, "You should eat a burger, you could use a few extra pounds honey!" or "You look skinnier than last week. I told you to stop eating salads everyday haha." She'll sometimes even feign concern for me and ask me in private if I was "struggling with my weight" and then proceed to tell me that I look "way too skinny to be healthy." One time I was changing into my work shirt in the back and Anna saw my stomach and commented that my stomach was starting to "look like a man's." I have no idea what that even means but I doubt it was a compliment.</p>\\n\\n<p>These hypocritical comments have pissed me off. I enjoy eating healthy and cooking my own meals and I enjoy working out and staying toned. Anna on the other hand gorges herself on the food in our restaurant, drinks about three cans of coke per shift and does not work out. I don't think this is healthy. </p>\\n\\n<p>Finally, during yesterday's shift, this guy I kinda like came in to get some food and I was super excited to see him. He turned out to be a bit cold towards me and the whole event was a bit anti-climactic. Oh well. Anna witnessed the whole thing and after he left, she said, "Maybe he's into curvier girls." I basically blew up at her and called her out for all of her hypocrisy. I asked how she could call herself a supporter of body positivity when she regularly shamed my body. Then I told her that she was unhealthy in many ways (I called her out on her eating habits), bitter and jealous of others who are in control of their health and bodies, and deluded for believing that she is healthy and fit. </p>\\n\\n<p>She called me insecure and told me I was being a rude bitch. It was reaching the end of our shift so I clocked out early and left so I didn't have to argue with her more. I was mad for a bit and told one of my best friends. She said that I was right and all but that I was insensitive in the way I brought it up and suggested that I apologize. I'm standing my ground but want to hear other opinions as well.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_d31cjt\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for calling my body-positive co-worker \\\"unhealthy, deluded, and bitter\\\" after some rude comments she made about me?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27622, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.87, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d31cjt/aita_for_calling_my_bodypositive_coworker/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Weight is one of those things you leave alone. People are *well aware* of their weight. It's completely rude and inappropriate to bring it up.\n\nAnd if she's gonna dish it out she needs to learn to also suck it up when it comes her way. Also commenting on your face plant trying fir that guy? Super tacky and rude. \n\nI've argued with my Mom about this for years, she keeps bringing up my sisters weight and I keep telling her to mind her own business. \n\nShe likes to try and frame it as being concerned, but I've told her multiple times it's not her body, it's none of her business and to only talk about it when my sister brings it up. \n\nAnd yet my Mom still starts fights about it.\n\nTLDR - No one besides a certified doctor is entitled to comment on someone's weight.", "role": "PoopinMyPantsJr", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"PoopinMyPantsJr\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4ki0v2xu\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Weight is one of those things you leave alone. People are *well aware* of their weight. It's completely rude and inappropriate to bring it up.\\n\\nAnd if she's gonna dish it out she needs to learn to also suck it up when it comes her way. Also commenting on your face plant trying fir that guy? Super tacky and rude. \\n\\nI've argued with my Mom about this for years, she keeps bringing up my sisters weight and I keep telling her to mind her own business. \\n\\nShe likes to try and frame it as being concerned, but I've told her multiple times it's not her body, it's none of her business and to only talk about it when my sister brings it up. \\n\\nAnd yet my Mom still starts fights about it.\\n\\nTLDR - No one besides a certified doctor is entitled to comment on someone's weight.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Weight is one of those things you leave alone. People are <em>well aware</em> of their weight. It's completely rude and inappropriate to bring it up.</p>\\n\\n<p>And if she's gonna dish it out she needs to learn to also suck it up when it comes her way. Also commenting on your face plant trying fir that guy? Super tacky and rude. </p>\\n\\n<p>I've argued with my Mom about this for years, she keeps bringing up my sisters weight and I keep telling her to mind her own business. </p>\\n\\n<p>She likes to try and frame it as being concerned, but I've told her multiple times it's not her body, it's none of her business and to only talk about it when my sister brings it up. </p>\\n\\n<p>And yet my Mom still starts fights about it.</p>\\n\\n<p>TLDR - No one besides a certified doctor is entitled to comment on someone's weight.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1568255618.0, \"created_utc\": 1568255618.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1568256416.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ezy23ol\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_d31cjt\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ezy23ol\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_d31cjt\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d31cjt/aita_for_calling_my_bodypositive_coworker/ezy23ol/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1252, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1252, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Can\u2019t agree here. You don\u2019t need to be a doctor to encourage your loved ones to 1) adopt healthy eating habits 2) maintain a healthy weight and 3) do some exercise. It is about being concerned and is appropriate if presented correctly without body shaming. All this political correctness is getting out of hand, as is the obesity epidemic in the modern world.", "role": "redwilier", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"redwilier\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [5]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mddyv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Can\\u2019t agree here. You don\\u2019t need to be a doctor to encourage your loved ones to 1) adopt healthy eating habits 2) maintain a healthy weight and 3) do some exercise. It is about being concerned and is appropriate if presented correctly without body shaming. All this political correctness is getting out of hand, as is the obesity epidemic in the modern world.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Can\\u2019t agree here. You don\\u2019t need to be a doctor to encourage your loved ones to 1) adopt healthy eating habits 2) maintain a healthy weight and 3) do some exercise. It is about being concerned and is appropriate if presented correctly without body shaming. All this political correctness is getting out of hand, as is the obesity epidemic in the modern world.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1568264248.0, \"created_utc\": 1568264248.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ezybo5m\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_d31cjt\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ezybo5m\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ezy23ol\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d31cjt/aita_for_calling_my_bodypositive_coworker/ezybo5m/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 293, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 293, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b03acbb6d2ec4902", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#c7a509", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "d5e9f50c-a710-11e9-895a-0ec19882c37a", "author_flair_text": "Pooperintendant [53]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b48d8198191f81bc", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> It is about being concerned and is appropriate if presented correctly\n\n\nI disagree. There's no reason to bother other people with your concerns. Especially about something like this where people *know* they're being unhealthy. \n\n\nThis whole \"I accept everyone as long as they're trying to be healthy!\" attitude is pretty odd to me. Being \"healthy\" the way *you* want someone to be healthy is their choice, not wanting to go through the effort to be healthy is a perfectly valid choice too.\n\n\nAdd to that the nonsense I've heard people talk about as \"healthy\" and it gets even worse.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>It is about being concerned and is appropriate if presented correctly</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>I disagree. There's no reason to bother other people with your concerns. Especially about something like this where people <em>know</em> they're being unhealthy. </p>\n\n<p>This whole "I accept everyone as long as they're trying to be healthy!" attitude is pretty odd to me. Being "healthy" the way <em>you</em> want someone to be healthy is their choice, not wanting to go through the effort to be healthy is a perfectly valid choice too.</p>\n\n<p>Add to that the nonsense I've heard people talk about as "healthy" and it gets even worse.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1568274583.0, "created_utc": 1568274583.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ezytwhe", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d31cjt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ezytwhe", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ezybo5m", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d31cjt/aita_for_calling_my_bodypositive_coworker/ezytwhe/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 76, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 76, "user_reports": []}
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Oh wow. I never thought of it being a way to hide an ED. I hope you’re back on track with more healthy eating. Thank you for sharing. Very good insight.
|
q0gbbz
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38b1abbb9f5ed691
| 1,633,281,883
| 8
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Wtf!!'", "Structures longer responses in clear paragraphs with logical flow from validation to advice", "Shares detailed personal experiences including specific dates and circumstances to relate to others", "Uses informal language and contractions throughout: 'I'm', 'you're', 'they're', 'wouldn't'", "Employs metaphors for emotional processing: 'I imagine that I keep her memory in a little box, way up on a shelf in my head'", "Offers practical, actionable advice alongside emotional support", "Uses humor occasionally, including laughing emojis when suggesting petty revenge: 'Or\u2026 go to a resale shop like Salvation Army and buy one and give it to her. \ud83e\udd23\ud83e\udd23'", "Validates others' feelings before offering opinions or suggestions"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from brief 10-word agreements ('I was thinking the same damn thing!') to extensive 300+ word detailed analyses", "Average response length approximately 100-150 words", "Frequently used phrases: 'NTA', 'I agree', 'Yes!', 'This is', 'I'm so glad', 'Thank you for', 'Kudos to'", "Common thematic words: 'boundaries', 'toxic', 'manipulative', 'protect', 'stand up for', 'respect'", "Uses first-person narrative extensively when sharing personal experiences", "Employs conditional statements frequently: 'If...then' constructions for logical arguments", "High use of exclamation points for emphasis (multiple per response)", "Tends to use multiple short sentences for impact rather than complex compound sentences", "Frequently quotes or references specific parts of original posts to address particular points", "Uses informal contractions and colloquialisms consistently throughout responses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for not accommodating my brother's vegan fiancee?\n\nFull disclosure, I do eat meat, eggs, and dairy. That being said I'm lazy and prepping and cooking meat takes more work than I'm willing to do a lot of the time, so I've built up a pretty okay repertoire of vegetarian and vegan meals. That's why I volunteered to cook last night for a small family dinner even though I would normally never. Love my mom to bits but if the first step isn't browning a pound of ground beef, she's a little lost on what to make.\n\nThis is all a thing because my brother has recently gotten engaged to a vegan woman. None of us have really spent a lot of time with her due to pandemics and generally having our own lives. The time I have spent with her has been perfectly nice. I'd thought this would also be perfectly nice.\n\nSo I did my best. I put together a dijon vinaigrette salad, pasta tossed with roasted asparagus and cherry tomatoes, and because this is America where carb on carb doesn't have to be just a dream, some bread I fucking vetted to make sure it didn't have milk or eggs in it. She could eat every single thing served.\n\nAt least I thought so. We sit down, plates are dished, she has questions. Whatever, fair enough. I can imagine that she's been in situations where things seemed safe to eat but surprise, there's honey in the salad dressing or something. Reassurances are made, I did my homework but...she has other complaints. You roasted the veggies in olive oil? There's olive oil in the salad dressing? The pasta isn't whole wheat? This is white bread? Yes. Vegan, all of it, but not stripped down to as few calories as possible. Anddddd now she won't eat, just sat there and tore one of the rolls up into tiny pieces until the table was cleared.\n\nMy brother texted me later that night about how fucked up it was that she had to go home hungry, and this is where I may be the asshole. I replied something in the effect of saying I thought I had to cook to accommodate veganism, not an eating disorder. He told me to go fuck myself, which again, fair. Now I imagine a cold war is brewing and mom is inevitably going to get sucked in. I also could have tried to make something healthier, though I don't think what was served was that bad. AITA?", "role": "itriedokay123", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"itriedokay123\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_f2uf1gjl\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1633262246.0, \"created_utc\": 1633262246.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1633264451.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"q0gbbz\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3725, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25182, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Full disclosure, I do eat meat, eggs, and dairy. That being said I'm lazy and prepping and cooking meat takes more work than I'm willing to do a lot of the time, so I've built up a pretty okay repertoire of vegetarian and vegan meals. That's why I volunteered to cook last night for a small family dinner even though I would normally never. Love my mom to bits but if the first step isn't browning a pound of ground beef, she's a little lost on what to make.\\n\\nThis is all a thing because my brother has recently gotten engaged to a vegan woman. None of us have really spent a lot of time with her due to pandemics and generally having our own lives. The time I have spent with her has been perfectly nice. I'd thought this would also be perfectly nice.\\n\\nSo I did my best. I put together a dijon vinaigrette salad, pasta tossed with roasted asparagus and cherry tomatoes, and because this is America where carb on carb doesn't have to be just a dream, some bread I fucking vetted to make sure it didn't have milk or eggs in it. She could eat every single thing served.\\n\\nAt least I thought so. We sit down, plates are dished, she has questions. Whatever, fair enough. I can imagine that she's been in situations where things seemed safe to eat but surprise, there's honey in the salad dressing or something. Reassurances are made, I did my homework but...she has other complaints. You roasted the veggies in olive oil? There's olive oil in the salad dressing? The pasta isn't whole wheat? This is white bread? Yes. Vegan, all of it, but not stripped down to as few calories as possible. Anddddd now she won't eat, just sat there and tore one of the rolls up into tiny pieces until the table was cleared.\\n\\nMy brother texted me later that night about how fucked up it was that she had to go home hungry, and this is where I may be the asshole. I replied something in the effect of saying I thought I had to cook to accommodate veganism, not an eating disorder. He told me to go fuck myself, which again, fair. Now I imagine a cold war is brewing and mom is inevitably going to get sucked in. I also could have tried to make something healthier, though I don't think what was served was that bad. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Full disclosure, I do eat meat, eggs, and dairy. That being said I'm lazy and prepping and cooking meat takes more work than I'm willing to do a lot of the time, so I've built up a pretty okay repertoire of vegetarian and vegan meals. That's why I volunteered to cook last night for a small family dinner even though I would normally never. Love my mom to bits but if the first step isn't browning a pound of ground beef, she's a little lost on what to make.</p>\\n\\n<p>This is all a thing because my brother has recently gotten engaged to a vegan woman. None of us have really spent a lot of time with her due to pandemics and generally having our own lives. The time I have spent with her has been perfectly nice. I'd thought this would also be perfectly nice.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I did my best. I put together a dijon vinaigrette salad, pasta tossed with roasted asparagus and cherry tomatoes, and because this is America where carb on carb doesn't have to be just a dream, some bread I fucking vetted to make sure it didn't have milk or eggs in it. She could eat every single thing served.</p>\\n\\n<p>At least I thought so. We sit down, plates are dished, she has questions. Whatever, fair enough. I can imagine that she's been in situations where things seemed safe to eat but surprise, there's honey in the salad dressing or something. Reassurances are made, I did my homework but...she has other complaints. You roasted the veggies in olive oil? There's olive oil in the salad dressing? The pasta isn't whole wheat? This is white bread? Yes. Vegan, all of it, but not stripped down to as few calories as possible. Anddddd now she won't eat, just sat there and tore one of the rolls up into tiny pieces until the table was cleared.</p>\\n\\n<p>My brother texted me later that night about how fucked up it was that she had to go home hungry, and this is where I may be the asshole. I replied something in the effect of saying I thought I had to cook to accommodate veganism, not an eating disorder. He told me to go fuck myself, which again, fair. Now I imagine a cold war is brewing and mom is inevitably going to get sucked in. I also could have tried to make something healthier, though I don't think what was served was that bad. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not accommodating my brother's vegan fiancee?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25182, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. It's seems rude that you cooked a vegan dinner and she didn't eat any of it. What is the problem with olive oil?", "role": "EvasiveFriend", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"EvasiveFriend\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#8f7312\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"db40139e-f967-11e8-b7d6-0e359a529158\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Certified Proctologist [22]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4k8xxu5y\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. It's seems rude that you cooked a vegan dinner and she didn't eat any of it. What is the problem with olive oil?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. It's seems rude that you cooked a vegan dinner and she didn't eat any of it. What is the problem with olive oil?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633262866.0, \"created_utc\": 1633262866.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf7th7u\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf7th7u\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf7th7u/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 30499, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": false, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 30499, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Not sure but I assume that she's....very conscious of what she eats and anything that has fat in it is a no go. That or she just thought shit looked gross. I'm not going to push it.", "role": "itriedokay123", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"itriedokay123\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_f2uf1gjl\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Not sure but I assume that she's....very conscious of what she eats and anything that has fat in it is a no go. That or she just thought shit looked gross. I'm not going to push it.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Not sure but I assume that she's....very conscious of what she eats and anything that has fat in it is a no go. That or she just thought shit looked gross. I'm not going to push it.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633263539.0, \"created_utc\": 1633263539.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf7uld2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf7uld2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hf7th7u\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf7uld2/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 14634, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 14634, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Olive oil is super beneficial and tasty, and what you prepared sounds really great. She\u2019s just super picky and that is not your problem.", "role": "Appeltaart232", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Appeltaart232\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4ebewu1n\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Olive oil is super beneficial and tasty, and what you prepared sounds really great. She\\u2019s just super picky and that is not your problem.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Olive oil is super beneficial and tasty, and what you prepared sounds really great. She\\u2019s just super picky and that is not your problem.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633264678.0, \"created_utc\": 1633264678.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf7wi6m\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf7wi6m\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hf7uld2\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf7wi6m/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 14124, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 14124, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I know, if you're vegan your body needs fat from somewhere, and olive oil is probably one of the best things for it.", "role": "lizfour", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"lizfour\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [4]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5jgypcy4\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I know, if you're vegan your body needs fat from somewhere, and olive oil is probably one of the best things for it.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I know, if you're vegan your body needs fat from somewhere, and olive oil is probably one of the best things for it.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633265487.0, \"created_utc\": 1633265487.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf7xwrp\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf7xwrp\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hf7wi6m\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf7xwrp/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 6575, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 6575, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "In fact most vegan diets recommend a fat of some kind like olive oil due to the omegas included and other than that there\u2019s pretty much only corn or sunflower oils that people use so what did she expect. She sounds entitled and nasty. Next time let her cook and don\u2019t even try to accommodate her anymore. It sounds like a no win situation with her.", "role": "JuryNo7670", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JuryNo7670\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7ucsbyy8\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"In fact most vegan diets recommend a fat of some kind like olive oil due to the omegas included and other than that there\\u2019s pretty much only corn or sunflower oils that people use so what did she expect. She sounds entitled and nasty. Next time let her cook and don\\u2019t even try to accommodate her anymore. It sounds like a no win situation with her.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>In fact most vegan diets recommend a fat of some kind like olive oil due to the omegas included and other than that there\\u2019s pretty much only corn or sunflower oils that people use so what did she expect. She sounds entitled and nasty. Next time let her cook and don\\u2019t even try to accommodate her anymore. It sounds like a no win situation with her.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633269585.0, \"created_utc\": 1633269585.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf85pb6\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf85pb6\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hf7xwrp\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf85pb6/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4050, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4050, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I\u2019m not saying this is the case for the fianc\u00e9. But, when you want to restrict your diet but you don\u2019t want people to question why you\u2019re restricting your diet, saying that you\u2019re vegan or vegetarian is a good cover.\n\nThanks for the awards! I\u2019m actually surprised how many people have experience with this very thing. \n\nAgain, not saying this is the case for the fianc\u00e9 because there could be other reasons she\u2019s acting this way. It\u2019s just that olive oil is very healthy, in my nutrition class the textbook talked about Greek people drinking a glass of olive oil a day. This is why it stuck out to me.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I\\u2019m not saying this is the case for the fianc\\u00e9. But, when you want to restrict your diet but you don\\u2019t want people to question why you\\u2019re restricting your diet, saying that you\\u2019re vegan or vegetarian is a good cover.\\n\\nThanks for the awards! I\\u2019m actually surprised how many people have experience with this very thing. \\n\\nAgain, not saying this is the case for the fianc\\u00e9 because there could be other reasons she\\u2019s acting this way. It\\u2019s just that olive oil is very healthy, in my nutrition class the textbook talked about Greek people drinking a glass of olive oil a day. This is why it stuck out to me.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I\\u2019m not saying this is the case for the fianc\\u00e9. But, when you want to restrict your diet but you don\\u2019t want people to question why you\\u2019re restricting your diet, saying that you\\u2019re vegan or vegetarian is a good cover.</p>\\n\\n<p>Thanks for the awards! I\\u2019m actually surprised how many people have experience with this very thing. </p>\\n\\n<p>Again, not saying this is the case for the fianc\\u00e9 because there could be other reasons she\\u2019s acting this way. It\\u2019s just that olive oil is very healthy, in my nutrition class the textbook talked about Greek people drinking a glass of olive oil a day. This is why it stuck out to me.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633270779.0, \"created_utc\": 1633270779.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1633286929.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf885zx\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf885zx\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hf85pb6\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf885zx/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4660, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4660, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Ding ding. When I was deep into my anorexia, I went \u201cvegan.\u201d It was such a convenient cover for why I didn\u2019t eat anything, and since I worked as an executive surrounded by men who wanted to do every meeting at a steak house, no one questioned when I\u2019d get a chunk of iceberg lettuce. \n\nNow, if I\u2019d been the person in the post, I absolutely would have forced myself to eat what was prepared, even a small bit, and been exceptionally thankful that they tried to accommodate me. This girl is either too deep into disordered eating to recognize her behaviour OR she\u2019s just an asshole.", "role": "Omissionsoftheomen", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Omissionsoftheomen\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_14m8e2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": true, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Ding ding. When I was deep into my anorexia, I went \\u201cvegan.\\u201d It was such a convenient cover for why I didn\\u2019t eat anything, and since I worked as an executive surrounded by men who wanted to do every meeting at a steak house, no one questioned when I\\u2019d get a chunk of iceberg lettuce. \\n\\nNow, if I\\u2019d been the person in the post, I absolutely would have forced myself to eat what was prepared, even a small bit, and been exceptionally thankful that they tried to accommodate me. This girl is either too deep into disordered eating to recognize her behaviour OR she\\u2019s just an asshole.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Ding ding. When I was deep into my anorexia, I went \\u201cvegan.\\u201d It was such a convenient cover for why I didn\\u2019t eat anything, and since I worked as an executive surrounded by men who wanted to do every meeting at a steak house, no one questioned when I\\u2019d get a chunk of iceberg lettuce. </p>\\n\\n<p>Now, if I\\u2019d been the person in the post, I absolutely would have forced myself to eat what was prepared, even a small bit, and been exceptionally thankful that they tried to accommodate me. This girl is either too deep into disordered eating to recognize her behaviour OR she\\u2019s just an asshole.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1633273174.0, \"created_utc\": 1633273174.0, \"depth\": 6, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hf8de74\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_q0gbbz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hf8de74\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hf885zx\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf8de74/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3991, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3991, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "38b1abbb9f5ed691", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c2c1ecd6ce0148dc", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oh wow. I never thought of it being a way to hide an ED. I hope you\u2019re back on track with more healthy eating. Thank you for sharing. Very good insight.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oh wow. I never thought of it being a way to hide an ED. I hope you\u2019re back on track with more healthy eating. Thank you for sharing. Very good insight.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1633281883.0, "created_utc": 1633281883.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hf8xe3a", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_q0gbbz", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hf8xe3a", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hf8de74", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf8xe3a/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "81f7b790fbc7dac6", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "503f7aaeb1a14fb2", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": true, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Thank you! For me, I channeled the anxiety from being extremely overachieving and perfection minded into control of my food. I\u2019m thankful that it was resolved somewhat simply (although not without challenges) and I\u2019d say 10 years later that I\u2019m in a good place.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Thank you! For me, I channeled the anxiety from being extremely overachieving and perfection minded into control of my food. I\u2019m thankful that it was resolved somewhat simply (although not without challenges) and I\u2019d say 10 years later that I\u2019m in a good place.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1633283957.0, "created_utc": 1633283957.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hf92mfl", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_q0gbbz", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hf92mfl", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hf8xe3a", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/q0gbbz/aita_for_not_accommodating_my_brothers_vegan/hf92mfl/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 19, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 19, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 48, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 48, "user_reports": []}
|
The main mistake the gym guy made is thinking any bra could hold them. A bra would just enrage them and put the gym and all gym goers at risk. If she leaves them free they will be calm and promise not to destabilise her while she squats.
|
p7iuom
|
54121986b02c524f
| 1,629,446,901
| 6
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Likely a parent or has close friends with young children based on the anecdote about a friend 'absent mindedly lent over and started cutting it up for me' after spending time with children"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and parenting issues, particularly parent-child communication", "Interpersonal conflict resolution and relationship red flags", "Social justice topics including racism and cultural appropriation", "LGBTQ+ rights and anti-discrimination advocacy", "Gender equality and challenging sexist double standards", "Animal welfare and ethical treatment of pets", "Practical household problem-solving", "Absurdist and situational humor", "Accountability and consequences for harmful actions", "Warning signs of controlling or abusive behavior in relationships", "Cultural sensitivity and respect for diverse backgrounds", "Supporting victims of bullying and harassment"], "values": ["Believes in direct, honest communication over manipulation: 'if OP really cared and was worried about the situation he would have gone straight to their parents or had a serious chat'", "Opposes public humiliation as a teaching method: 'Rather than publicly humiliating her and thinking it's hilarious'", "Advocates for practical, simple solutions to problems: 'it's so easy to solve - buy a pedal bin and teach your boys to use a toilet brush'", "Rejects victim-blaming and illogical accountability: 'what wild logic \"I was bitching about you at work and was overheard and got in trouble and this is clearly your fault\"'", "Supports teaching consequences through understanding implications: 'Get him to work through the implications of what he's done'", "Values parental protection and involvement in children's struggles: 'they will be way way more sad with the idea you felt you couldn't tell them and had to handle it by yourself'", "Recognizes warning signs of controlling behavior: 'the \"things will change after we are married\" really stood out to me'", "Believes in personal accountability for one's actions and messes", "Opposes unsolicited interference and boundary violations", "Values humor as a coping mechanism and communication tool", "Supports victims standing up against harassment and discrimination", "Believes children deserve parental support rather than having to protect parents from worry"], "communication": ["Uses casual British English spelling and expressions: consistently writes 'yeh' instead of 'yeah'", "Employs absurdist humor effectively: 'enormous sentient bosom', 'A bra would just enrage them and put the gym and all gym goers at risk'", "Makes concise, pointed observations rather than lengthy explanations", "Uses quotation marks strategically to highlight problematic statements from original posts", "Builds collaboratively on others' comments: 'I agree with this and YTA but also...'", "Incorporates sarcasm to critique illogical behavior: 'plot twist - the one giving unsolicited raw meat organs is the AH'", "Shares personal anecdotes to relate to situations: story about friend cutting up food", "Uses humor to defuse tension while making serious points", "Writes in a conversational, accessible tone", "Frequently begins responses with agreement markers: 'Yeh I feel like', 'Haha yeh'", "Employs vivid, creative imagery in humorous contexts", "Keeps responses relatively brief but impactful, typically 15-60 words"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 35-40 words", "Minimum response length: 15 words ('I don't know. But plot twist - the one giving unsolicited raw meat organs is the AH.')", "Maximum response length: approximately 60 words (the 'sentient bosom' response)", "Most frequent opening: 'Yeh' or 'Haha yeh' as agreement markers", "Frequently uses quotation marks to highlight problematic statements from original posts", "Common pattern: agreement + additional practical observation or humorous commentary", "Uses 'I agree' or variations in approximately 40% of responses", "Employs humor or sarcasm in approximately 50% of responses", "Tends to focus on one main point per response rather than multiple arguments"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for telling another gym member to wear a bra?\n\nI (25f) fucking hate wearing bras. They're uncomfortable, constricting, and expensive. With work from home, I spent the last year and a half basically never wearing a bra and got used to it. Quite frankly, my boobs are nonexistent anyways.\n\nI recently started going to the gym again and started working out braless. I should note that up until now, no one has ever pointed out anything wrong with me not wearing a bra. However, in the middle of a set of squats (yes, MID SQUAT), a guy comes up to me, taps me on the shoulder to get my attention, and tells me that my nipples are poking through my shirt. I get really irritated because why tf is this guy staring at my nipples in the first place and then stopping me mid-set to inform me?\n\nI get really annoyed, try to finish my set, but then this fucker literally grabs the bar, as I ascend and re-racks it for me. He claimed it looked like I was having trouble with the last rep, and that he had come over to make sure I could do it, then noticed my nipples. I'm really fucking pissed off at this point and told him I didn't need his help finishing my set and why the fuck was he looking at my chest in the first place?? He said he was going to spot me, but then noticed my chest and thought it'd be inappropriate.\n\nI pointed out that the safety bar was set, so even if I did fail the set, he wasn't needed. But he just insisted people at gyms look out for each other, and that going forward, I should probably wear a bra so other people wouldn't get uncomfortable and that it may help me stay more balanced in my squats. I'm literally the only girl at the weights section of the gym at the moment, and other guys who were squatting and failed sets never have to worry about this shit. I've seen guys fail multiple sets in a row and no one ever rushes to their aid, but I have a very slight pause, and everyone thinks I need rescuing. So I'm now really annoyed and also kind of uncomfortable that this guy I've never spoken to in my life thinks he's helping me and then has the audacity to tell me how to dress.\n\nSo I tell him \"You have bigger boobs and nipples than I do. Maybe YOU should wear a bra so people won't get uncomfortable and you won't fail your squats.\" He then got really defensive, saying he was just trying to help, then called me a bitch. Honestly I'm not sure if I overreacted, but I'm still kind of pissed off so maybe that's clouding my judgment. AITA?\n\nEdit to add: I'm not sure if people think I'm walking around and it's extremely obvious my nipples are showing. I actually really hate constricting clothes. My t-shirt size is x-small but I wear size large to the gym (and pretty much everywhere lately), and you can't tell my stomach from my chest. My nipples might've been showing a little more while squatting because I was wearing a lifting belt\n\n\u200b", "role": "Far-Experience2070", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Far-Experience2070\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_e0lello4\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1629392338.0, \"created_utc\": 1629392338.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1629406751.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"p7iuom\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2999, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24013, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I (25f) fucking hate wearing bras. They're uncomfortable, constricting, and expensive. With work from home, I spent the last year and a half basically never wearing a bra and got used to it. Quite frankly, my boobs are nonexistent anyways.\\n\\nI recently started going to the gym again and started working out braless. I should note that up until now, no one has ever pointed out anything wrong with me not wearing a bra. However, in the middle of a set of squats (yes, MID SQUAT), a guy comes up to me, taps me on the shoulder to get my attention, and tells me that my nipples are poking through my shirt. I get really irritated because why tf is this guy staring at my nipples in the first place and then stopping me mid-set to inform me?\\n\\nI get really annoyed, try to finish my set, but then this fucker literally grabs the bar, as I ascend and re-racks it for me. He claimed it looked like I was having trouble with the last rep, and that he had come over to make sure I could do it, then noticed my nipples. I'm really fucking pissed off at this point and told him I didn't need his help finishing my set and why the fuck was he looking at my chest in the first place?? He said he was going to spot me, but then noticed my chest and thought it'd be inappropriate.\\n\\nI pointed out that the safety bar was set, so even if I did fail the set, he wasn't needed. But he just insisted people at gyms look out for each other, and that going forward, I should probably wear a bra so other people wouldn't get uncomfortable and that it may help me stay more balanced in my squats. I'm literally the only girl at the weights section of the gym at the moment, and other guys who were squatting and failed sets never have to worry about this shit. I've seen guys fail multiple sets in a row and no one ever rushes to their aid, but I have a very slight pause, and everyone thinks I need rescuing. So I'm now really annoyed and also kind of uncomfortable that this guy I've never spoken to in my life thinks he's helping me and then has the audacity to tell me how to dress.\\n\\nSo I tell him \\\"You have bigger boobs and nipples than I do. Maybe YOU should wear a bra so people won't get uncomfortable and you won't fail your squats.\\\" He then got really defensive, saying he was just trying to help, then called me a bitch. Honestly I'm not sure if I overreacted, but I'm still kind of pissed off so maybe that's clouding my judgment. AITA?\\n\\nEdit to add: I'm not sure if people think I'm walking around and it's extremely obvious my nipples are showing. I actually really hate constricting clothes. My t-shirt size is x-small but I wear size large to the gym (and pretty much everywhere lately), and you can't tell my stomach from my chest. My nipples might've been showing a little more while squatting because I was wearing a lifting belt\\n\\n​\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (25f) fucking hate wearing bras. They're uncomfortable, constricting, and expensive. With work from home, I spent the last year and a half basically never wearing a bra and got used to it. Quite frankly, my boobs are nonexistent anyways.</p>\\n\\n<p>I recently started going to the gym again and started working out braless. I should note that up until now, no one has ever pointed out anything wrong with me not wearing a bra. However, in the middle of a set of squats (yes, MID SQUAT), a guy comes up to me, taps me on the shoulder to get my attention, and tells me that my nipples are poking through my shirt. I get really irritated because why tf is this guy staring at my nipples in the first place and then stopping me mid-set to inform me?</p>\\n\\n<p>I get really annoyed, try to finish my set, but then this fucker literally grabs the bar, as I ascend and re-racks it for me. He claimed it looked like I was having trouble with the last rep, and that he had come over to make sure I could do it, then noticed my nipples. I'm really fucking pissed off at this point and told him I didn't need his help finishing my set and why the fuck was he looking at my chest in the first place?? He said he was going to spot me, but then noticed my chest and thought it'd be inappropriate.</p>\\n\\n<p>I pointed out that the safety bar was set, so even if I did fail the set, he wasn't needed. But he just insisted people at gyms look out for each other, and that going forward, I should probably wear a bra so other people wouldn't get uncomfortable and that it may help me stay more balanced in my squats. I'm literally the only girl at the weights section of the gym at the moment, and other guys who were squatting and failed sets never have to worry about this shit. I've seen guys fail multiple sets in a row and no one ever rushes to their aid, but I have a very slight pause, and everyone thinks I need rescuing. So I'm now really annoyed and also kind of uncomfortable that this guy I've never spoken to in my life thinks he's helping me and then has the audacity to tell me how to dress.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I tell him "You have bigger boobs and nipples than I do. Maybe YOU should wear a bra so people won't get uncomfortable and you won't fail your squats." He then got really defensive, saying he was just trying to help, then called me a bitch. Honestly I'm not sure if I overreacted, but I'm still kind of pissed off so maybe that's clouding my judgment. AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit to add: I'm not sure if people think I'm walking around and it's extremely obvious my nipples are showing. I actually really hate constricting clothes. My t-shirt size is x-small but I wear size large to the gym (and pretty much everywhere lately), and you can't tell my stomach from my chest. My nipples might've been showing a little more while squatting because I was wearing a lifting belt</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling another gym member to wear a bra?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24013, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.93, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Report it to your gym, he had no right to comment on your body at all, and no right to try and assert his \"help\" onto you, if he can't control himself from staring at another person's body then he shouldn't be at a place where he's going to encounter all manner of bodies.", "role": "sph1nxa", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"sph1nxa\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8ee1rk8i\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Report it to your gym, he had no right to comment on your body at all, and no right to try and assert his \\\"help\\\" onto you, if he can't control himself from staring at another person's body then he shouldn't be at a place where he's going to encounter all manner of bodies.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Report it to your gym, he had no right to comment on your body at all, and no right to try and assert his "help" onto you, if he can't control himself from staring at another person's body then he shouldn't be at a place where he's going to encounter all manner of bodies.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1629393912.0, \"created_utc\": 1629393912.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h9k1ndm\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h9k1ndm\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/h9k1ndm/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 34959, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 34959, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Also. As someone with boobs, sometimes your nips show through a PADDED bra. I\u2019ve never worn a sports bra that didn\u2019t headlight people pretty much the entire time I had it on. His argument doesn\u2019t even make sense if you know boobs work", "role": "teyyannn", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"teyyannn\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9rvk15so\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Also. As someone with boobs, sometimes your nips show through a PADDED bra. I\\u2019ve never worn a sports bra that didn\\u2019t headlight people pretty much the entire time I had it on. His argument doesn\\u2019t even make sense if you know boobs work\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Also. As someone with boobs, sometimes your nips show through a PADDED bra. I\\u2019ve never worn a sports bra that didn\\u2019t headlight people pretty much the entire time I had it on. His argument doesn\\u2019t even make sense if you know boobs work</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1629398067.0, \"created_utc\": 1629398067.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h9kbkph\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h9kbkph\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h9k1ndm\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/h9kbkph/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 13510, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 13510, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "And how the literal F does a sports bra make her more balanced for squats?? Oh no, y'all look out!! My itty bitty titties are gonna exist and somehow make it hard to...bend down??? I do not understand. \n\nAlso, NTA", "role": "Suspiciouscupcake23", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Suspiciouscupcake23\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4qxgc7sw\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"And how the literal F does a sports bra make her more balanced for squats?? Oh no, y'all look out!! My itty bitty titties are gonna exist and somehow make it hard to...bend down??? I do not understand. \\n\\nAlso, NTA\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>And how the literal F does a sports bra make her more balanced for squats?? Oh no, y'all look out!! My itty bitty titties are gonna exist and somehow make it hard to...bend down??? I do not understand. </p>\\n\\n<p>Also, NTA</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1629398696.0, \"created_utc\": 1629398696.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1629429201.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h9kd2u1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h9kd2u1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h9kbkph\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/h9kd2u1/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 731, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 731, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Omg I missed that bit. I\u2019m now imagining OP has some kind of enormous sentient bosom and that her tits were literally swinging around - with her staggering around at the mercy of their mighty power.", "role": "lunchbox3", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"lunchbox3\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_awiee\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Omg I missed that bit. I\\u2019m now imagining OP has some kind of enormous sentient bosom and that her tits were literally swinging around - with her staggering around at the mercy of their mighty power.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Omg I missed that bit. I\\u2019m now imagining OP has some kind of enormous sentient bosom and that her tits were literally swinging around - with her staggering around at the mercy of their mighty power.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1629400241.0, \"created_utc\": 1629400241.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h9kgsdz\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_p7iuom\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h9kgsdz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h9kd2u1\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/h9kgsdz/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 426, 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true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"mutajenic\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5q1bqb3g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Choked on my lunch at \\u201csentient bosom\\u201d\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Choked on my lunch at \\u201csentient bosom\\u201d</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": 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\"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h9krabz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h9kgsdz\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/h9krabz/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 50, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 50, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "54121986b02c524f", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "cf07e190f92902d4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "The main mistake the gym guy made is thinking any bra could hold them. A bra would just enrage them and put the gym and all gym goers at risk. If she leaves them free they will be calm and promise not to destabilise her while she squats.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>The main mistake the gym guy made is thinking any bra could hold them. A bra would just enrage them and put the gym and all gym goers at risk. If she leaves them free they will be calm and promise not to destabilise her while she squats.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1629446901.0, "created_utc": 1629446901.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h9mz7j0", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_p7iuom", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h9mz7j0", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h9krabz", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/p7iuom/aita_for_telling_another_gym_member_to_wear_a_bra/h9mz7j0/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 7, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 7, "user_reports": []}
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bambody is much cheaper and they're really nice imo! I think they're more comfortable than thinx/softer. the inside linings are all black. those + buncha farmers stain stick will go a long way.
|
i65e2r
|
790e222cb98aaa57
| 1,596,934,917
| 7
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA (likely female based on menstruation references)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "Mexican (explicitly stated: 'am Mexican, have uncle \"leo's\"')", "other": "Has experienced menstruation (recommends period products from personal experience); has friend who lost family members to domestic violence; has mother who took them on road trips as child"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Recognizing and calling out various forms of abuse (financial, emotional, domestic violence)", "Mental health awareness and appropriate therapeutic practices", "Cultural identity and combating racism, especially regarding Mexican/Latino heritage", "Reproductive health and menstrual product recommendations (specifically mentions 'bambody' as 'much cheaper and really nice')", "Parenting issues and child welfare, including postpartum mental health", "Etymology and linguistic accuracy (corrects misinformation about phrase origins)", "Jewish religious concepts and tribal identity", "Appropriate consequences and accountability for harmful actions", "Product recommendations and practical solutions to everyday problems", "Social media behavior and its real-world consequences", "Roadside attractions and quirky family experiences (references 'THE THING' attraction fondly)"], "values": ["Context and intent matter when judging behavior: 'it's the intent of disrespect and racism that makes it not okay'", "Standing up against abuse is justified even if methods seem harsh: 'NTA as my ruling. Op has dealt with this woman belittling and mocking her language... for YEARS'", "Recognizes postpartum mental health as serious: 'that's a sign of post-partum, like a glaring red flashing sign... that mother clearly needed mental help'", "Values accuracy over popular misconceptions: corrects the 'blood of the covenant' phrase myth, stating 'Oh I agree it's totally made up'", "Believes people deserve appropriate consequences for intentional harm, not excuses based on relationships", "Opposes racism and cultural erasure: defends the name 'Emiliano' and criticizes grandmother's racist behavior", "Skeptical of authority figures who dismiss serious concerns: questions therapist who declared someone 'fine' after only 2.5 sessions", "Supports abuse victims taking protective measures: 'I'm glad you're getting a lawyer... I'm worried about your physical safety'", "Recognizes financial abuse as real abuse: provides detailed link and explanation of financial abuse patterns", "Believes in practical problem-solving and offering tangible help: offers to send used bags to someone in need", "Values honesty about limitations: acknowledges when babies are too young to understand complex situations", "Respects chosen family over biological family when biology brings harm"], "communication": ["Uses casual, conversational tone with frequent lowercase: 'oh i agree - that's why at this point even leo is an asshole move'", "Employs 'lol' and casual markers: 'It also makes me laugh because...'", "Provides practical product recommendations with personal experience: 'bambody is much cheaper and they're really nice imo!'", "Uses parenthetical asides for additional context: '(am Mexican, have uncle \"leo's\" altho one is Leonidas for sure)'", "Shares personal anecdotes to support arguments: 'my mom once insisted we stop so i could experience THE THING'", "Direct and concise in expressing opinions: 'The baby doesn't know'", "Asks clarifying questions to understand situations better: 'What kind of therapist was this? Like licensed?'", "Uses emphasis through italics when available: references to specific quoted phrases", "Balances empathy with practical advice: offers both emotional support and tangible solutions", "Not afraid to correct misinformation respectfully: explains the true origin of phrases", "Uses AITA terminology fluently: 'NTA' judgments", "Employs humor appropriately: 'it was cheesy as hell and i'd do it again'"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 40-60 words", "Minimum response length: around 10-15 words ('The baby doesn't know and even if they did plenty of babies have stable two-mom situations lol.')", "Maximum response length: approximately 200-250 words (financial abuse response with detailed explanation and link)", "Frequently uses phrases: 'NTA', 'I agree', 'lol', 'imo', references to mental health and abuse", "Common sentence structure: begins with agreement/validation, then adds nuance or correction", "Uses questions rhetorically and for clarification: 'What kind of therapist was this?'", "Employs ellipses for emphasis or trailing thoughts", "Balances short punchy statements with longer explanatory paragraphs", "Frequently provides evidence-based reasoning with quotes from original posts", "Uses parenthetical statements regularly to add context or personal experience"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for \u201cperiod shaming\u201d my daughter?\n\nI\u2019m a 41M single dad with a 13 year old daughter Lacey. My wife died in childbirth and it\u2019s just been me and Lacey all her life. My sister has been a big help in raising Lacey, and we do keep in contact with her maternal grandparents. \n\nThe issue started a couple of months ago when Lacey started her period. I knew this day would come so I spoke to my sister, my female best friend and my mother in law to be well prepared. I gave her the talk with her grandmother and aunt there, I buy her pads and tampons, I even have midol and heating pads ready for Lacey when she needs them. \n\nThe problem began when I began to notice a smell coming from Lacey\u2019s room. I went in to investigate and found pads and tampons openly disposed of in her wastebasket. I checked her bathroom and it was worse. She had her bloodstained undergarments in the tub.\n\nI took out her trash and did my best to get rid of the smell, but I didn\u2019t know what to do with the underwear in the tub. Later, I noticed bloodstains on the couch. It took a while of cleaning but I got them out. I figured that was the end of that.\n\nIt happened again last month, when I noticed Lacey\u2019s room was stinking again. And I saw she didn\u2019t even wash the underwear from before. The bathroom was unbearable at this point. Then earlier this week, I saw bloodstains on the couch again.\n\nI sat Lacey down and told her that she had to learn to properly dispose of her feminine hygiene products and wash her underwear as the smell was becoming too much. And to be careful of getting bloodstains on the couch or anywhere she sits. I also noticed her sheets had a lot of bloodstains and brought this up too. I also let her know that it was okay to get blood on things as long as she washed them, and I wouldn\u2019t be upset if I saw her bloodstained items being washed.\n\nLacey immediately blew up at me saying that periods aren\u2019t gross and that I was period shaming and that I needed to educate myself on menstruation. I then got texts from my sister and MIL scolding me for making Lacey feel ashamed of her bodily functions. \n\nBut I honestly wasn\u2019t trying to convey that periods are gross. I was trying to convey that her hygiene needed to be addressed and that the smell was becoming unbearable. I just wanted to make sure that Lacey knew how to properly dispose of pads and tampons without it smelling, and that I wouldn\u2019t be annoyed if she washed her bloodstained items \n\nAITA here? Was I period shaming my daughter?\n\nEDIT: so I\u2019ve mentioned it in a few comments. I talked to my sister and mil and explained my side. They apologized for misunderstanding and like you guys, have given some good cleaning tips and they\u2019ll talk to Lacey and help her out with the pads and tampons too\n\nEDIT2: so many people here have suggested it and I\u2019ve asked Lacey if her period pain is unbearable or just normal cramps, and left the choice to her as to whether or not she wants to see a specialist but the option is there for her!\n\nEDIT3: We have washed the sheets with hydrogen peroxide and purchased some oxyclean for future instances should we need it. Many of you have also suggested period underwear, which again, I have asked her aunt and grandmother about and they\u2019ll be able to give her more info about those as well as different hygiene products she can use.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1596915712.0, \"created_utc\": 1596915712.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1596941072.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"i65e2r\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_i65e2r\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1632, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i65e2r/aita_for_period_shaming_my_daughter/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24051, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I\\u2019m a 41M single dad with a 13 year old daughter Lacey. My wife died in childbirth and it\\u2019s just been me and Lacey all her life. My sister has been a big help in raising Lacey, and we do keep in contact with her maternal grandparents. \\n\\nThe issue started a couple of months ago when Lacey started her period. I knew this day would come so I spoke to my sister, my female best friend and my mother in law to be well prepared. I gave her the talk with her grandmother and aunt there, I buy her pads and tampons, I even have midol and heating pads ready for Lacey when she needs them. \\n\\nThe problem began when I began to notice a smell coming from Lacey\\u2019s room. I went in to investigate and found pads and tampons openly disposed of in her wastebasket. I checked her bathroom and it was worse. She had her bloodstained undergarments in the tub.\\n\\nI took out her trash and did my best to get rid of the smell, but I didn\\u2019t know what to do with the underwear in the tub. Later, I noticed bloodstains on the couch. It took a while of cleaning but I got them out. I figured that was the end of that.\\n\\nIt happened again last month, when I noticed Lacey\\u2019s room was stinking again. And I saw she didn\\u2019t even wash the underwear from before. The bathroom was unbearable at this point. Then earlier this week, I saw bloodstains on the couch again.\\n\\nI sat Lacey down and told her that she had to learn to properly dispose of her feminine hygiene products and wash her underwear as the smell was becoming too much. And to be careful of getting bloodstains on the couch or anywhere she sits. I also noticed her sheets had a lot of bloodstains and brought this up too. I also let her know that it was okay to get blood on things as long as she washed them, and I wouldn\\u2019t be upset if I saw her bloodstained items being washed.\\n\\nLacey immediately blew up at me saying that periods aren\\u2019t gross and that I was period shaming and that I needed to educate myself on menstruation. I then got texts from my sister and MIL scolding me for making Lacey feel ashamed of her bodily functions. \\n\\nBut I honestly wasn\\u2019t trying to convey that periods are gross. I was trying to convey that her hygiene needed to be addressed and that the smell was becoming unbearable. I just wanted to make sure that Lacey knew how to properly dispose of pads and tampons without it smelling, and that I wouldn\\u2019t be annoyed if she washed her bloodstained items \\n\\nAITA here? Was I period shaming my daughter?\\n\\nEDIT: so I\\u2019ve mentioned it in a few comments. I talked to my sister and mil and explained my side. They apologized for misunderstanding and like you guys, have given some good cleaning tips and they\\u2019ll talk to Lacey and help her out with the pads and tampons too\\n\\nEDIT2: so many people here have suggested it and I\\u2019ve asked Lacey if her period pain is unbearable or just normal cramps, and left the choice to her as to whether or not she wants to see a specialist but the option is there for her!\\n\\nEDIT3: We have washed the sheets with hydrogen peroxide and purchased some oxyclean for future instances should we need it. Many of you have also suggested period underwear, which again, I have asked her aunt and grandmother about and they\\u2019ll be able to give her more info about those as well as different hygiene products she can use.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I\\u2019m a 41M single dad with a 13 year old daughter Lacey. My wife died in childbirth and it\\u2019s just been me and Lacey all her life. My sister has been a big help in raising Lacey, and we do keep in contact with her maternal grandparents. </p>\\n\\n<p>The issue started a couple of months ago when Lacey started her period. I knew this day would come so I spoke to my sister, my female best friend and my mother in law to be well prepared. I gave her the talk with her grandmother and aunt there, I buy her pads and tampons, I even have midol and heating pads ready for Lacey when she needs them. </p>\\n\\n<p>The problem began when I began to notice a smell coming from Lacey\\u2019s room. I went in to investigate and found pads and tampons openly disposed of in her wastebasket. I checked her bathroom and it was worse. She had her bloodstained undergarments in the tub.</p>\\n\\n<p>I took out her trash and did my best to get rid of the smell, but I didn\\u2019t know what to do with the underwear in the tub. Later, I noticed bloodstains on the couch. It took a while of cleaning but I got them out. I figured that was the end of that.</p>\\n\\n<p>It happened again last month, when I noticed Lacey\\u2019s room was stinking again. And I saw she didn\\u2019t even wash the underwear from before. The bathroom was unbearable at this point. Then earlier this week, I saw bloodstains on the couch again.</p>\\n\\n<p>I sat Lacey down and told her that she had to learn to properly dispose of her feminine hygiene products and wash her underwear as the smell was becoming too much. And to be careful of getting bloodstains on the couch or anywhere she sits. I also noticed her sheets had a lot of bloodstains and brought this up too. I also let her know that it was okay to get blood on things as long as she washed them, and I wouldn\\u2019t be upset if I saw her bloodstained items being washed.</p>\\n\\n<p>Lacey immediately blew up at me saying that periods aren\\u2019t gross and that I was period shaming and that I needed to educate myself on menstruation. I then got texts from my sister and MIL scolding me for making Lacey feel ashamed of her bodily functions. </p>\\n\\n<p>But I honestly wasn\\u2019t trying to convey that periods are gross. I was trying to convey that her hygiene needed to be addressed and that the smell was becoming unbearable. I just wanted to make sure that Lacey knew how to properly dispose of pads and tampons without it smelling, and that I wouldn\\u2019t be annoyed if she washed her bloodstained items </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA here? Was I period shaming my daughter?</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT: so I\\u2019ve mentioned it in a few comments. I talked to my sister and mil and explained my side. They apologized for misunderstanding and like you guys, have given some good cleaning tips and they\\u2019ll talk to Lacey and help her out with the pads and tampons too</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT2: so many people here have suggested it and I\\u2019ve asked Lacey if her period pain is unbearable or just normal cramps, and left the choice to her as to whether or not she wants to see a specialist but the option is there for her!</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT3: We have washed the sheets with hydrogen peroxide and purchased some oxyclean for future instances should we need it. Many of you have also suggested period underwear, which again, I have asked her aunt and grandmother about and they\\u2019ll be able to give her more info about those as well as different hygiene products she can use.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_i65e2r\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for \\u201cperiod shaming\\u201d my daughter?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24051, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i65e2r/aita_for_period_shaming_my_daughter/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. \n\nPeriods aren't gross. Getting your period blood all over the place is. She needs to learn basic period hygiene now or she will deeply regret it later in life. You're a great father, OP. But maybe consider having her see a therapist or someone more qualified to deal with why she is reacting this way.", "role": "edengonedark", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"edengonedark\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd700\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d0f51afc-f510-11e8-a5da-0e4d9a1c42d6\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Supreme Court Just-ass [118]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5bsalmf3\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. \\n\\nPeriods aren't gross. Getting your period blood all over the place is. She needs to learn basic period hygiene now or she will deeply regret it later in life. You're a great father, OP. But maybe consider having her see a therapist or someone more qualified to deal with why she is reacting this way.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. </p>\\n\\n<p>Periods aren't gross. Getting your period blood all over the place is. She needs to learn basic period hygiene now or she will deeply regret it later in life. You're a great father, OP. But maybe consider having her see a therapist or someone more qualified to deal with why she is reacting this way.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596915997.0, \"created_utc\": 1596915997.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0thzv0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": 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\"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26904, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Thank you for the input, I often feel like I\u2019m not a good enough parent even though I try to make sure she\u2019s surrounded my mother figures.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Thank you for the input, I often feel like I\\u2019m not a good enough parent even though I try to make sure she\\u2019s surrounded my mother figures.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Thank you for the input, I often feel like I\\u2019m not a good enough parent even though I try to make sure she\\u2019s surrounded my mother figures.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596916190.0, \"created_utc\": 1596916190.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0tidpv\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i65e2r\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0tidpv\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g0thzv0\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i65e2r/aita_for_period_shaming_my_daughter/g0tidpv/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 9649, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 9649, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Just replying to you so hopefully you see it: but not every pad and tampon will work the same for the same people, you may need to have a discussion with her or have someone around you discuss that with her, etc etc\n\nAlso definitely NTA you weren\u2019t shaming, just trying to help her be.. clean", "role": "sleeping-slugs", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"sleeping-slugs\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6i5u2hfs\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Just replying to you so hopefully you see it: but not every pad and tampon will work the same for the same people, you may need to have a discussion with her or have someone around you discuss that with her, etc etc\\n\\nAlso definitely NTA you weren\\u2019t shaming, just trying to help her be.. clean\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Just replying to you so hopefully you see it: but not every pad and tampon will work the same for the same people, you may need to have a discussion with her or have someone around you discuss that with her, etc etc</p>\\n\\n<p>Also definitely NTA you weren\\u2019t shaming, just trying to help her be.. clean</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596919056.0, \"created_utc\": 1596919056.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0tnsgg\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, 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null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5133, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Thank you for the info", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Thank you for the info\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Thank you for the info</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596919526.0, \"created_utc\": 1596919526.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0tooq9\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i65e2r\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0tooq9\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g0tnsgg\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i65e2r/aita_for_period_shaming_my_daughter/g0tooq9/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2294, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2294, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Especially because there is such a variety, I\u2019m not sure what you might\u2019ve gotten her, \nBut if you haven\u2019t gotten her \u201cnighttime pads\u201d and only panty liners that could be part of the reason she seems to \u201cleak\u201d everywhere. \n\nIt is a trail and error thing, just remember to be nice about it because I\u2019m sure she feels awkward, but it seems like you\u2019re trying your best so :) good job\n\n\n\nEdit: trial not trail lmao", "role": "sleeping-slugs", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"sleeping-slugs\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6i5u2hfs\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Especially because there is such a variety, I\\u2019m not sure what you might\\u2019ve gotten her, \\nBut if you haven\\u2019t gotten her \\u201cnighttime pads\\u201d and only panty liners that could be part of the reason she seems to \\u201cleak\\u201d everywhere. \\n\\nIt is a trail and error thing, just remember to be nice about it because I\\u2019m sure she feels awkward, but it seems like you\\u2019re trying your best so :) good job\\n\\n\\n\\nEdit: trial not trail lmao\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Especially because there is such a variety, I\\u2019m not sure what you might\\u2019ve gotten her, \\nBut if you haven\\u2019t gotten her \\u201cnighttime pads\\u201d and only panty liners that could be part of the reason she seems to \\u201cleak\\u201d everywhere. </p>\\n\\n<p>It is a trail and error thing, just remember to be nice about it because I\\u2019m sure she feels awkward, but it seems like you\\u2019re trying your best so :) good job</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: trial not trail lmao</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596919720.0, \"created_utc\": 1596919720.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1596941579.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0tp210\", 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\"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1908, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1908, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "^alternative is the heavy flow thinx undies that she can wear overnight. They\u2019re pricey but honestly you\u2019d be helping her a lot", "role": "bobainwonderland", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"bobainwonderland\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3z273isx\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"^alternative is the heavy flow thinx undies that she can wear overnight. They\\u2019re pricey but honestly you\\u2019d be helping her a lot\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p><sup>alternative</sup> is the heavy flow thinx undies that she can wear overnight. They\\u2019re pricey but honestly you\\u2019d be helping her a lot</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596931135.0, \"created_utc\": 1596931135.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g0u9x7j\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i65e2r\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g0u9x7j\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g0tp210\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i65e2r/aita_for_period_shaming_my_daughter/g0u9x7j/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 877, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 877, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "790e222cb98aaa57", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [9]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "745a6c98db4498d7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "bambody is much cheaper and they're really nice imo! I think they're more comfortable than thinx/softer. the inside linings are all black. those + buncha farmers stain stick will go a long way.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>bambody is much cheaper and they're really nice imo! I think they're more comfortable than thinx/softer. the inside linings are all black. those + buncha farmers stain stick will go a long way.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1596934917.0, "created_utc": 1596934917.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1596935443.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g0ugqo7", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_i65e2r", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g0ugqo7", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g0u9x7j", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i65e2r/aita_for_period_shaming_my_daughter/g0ugqo7/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 13, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 13, "user_reports": []}
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This! NTA!!! OP, you *are* Billy's mom! You raised him through the hardest times in his life, more than his birth mother ever did for him. It is no one's fault but your SIL's that she decided to not be his mom anymore. If she doesn't want to do her literal only job as a mother, she doesn't get to reap the rewards of having a lovely son now that it's easier and she doesn't have to do anything for him anymore. Don't give in, it will only hurt Billy.
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (mentions 'I'd be giving my husband daily blowjobs' and refers to self in female context)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married with children and dogs, as mentioned in Roomba discussion"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and parent-child conflicts", "Marriage and partnership issues, particularly communication breakdowns", "Toxic family behaviors and boundary violations", "Wedding planning and etiquette disputes", "Gender roles and expectations in relationships and society", "LGBTQ+ rights and protection from conversion therapy", "Medical privacy rights and HIPAA violations", "Workplace ethics and employee rights", "Gift-giving appropriateness and social expectations", "Pet welfare and responsible pet ownership", "Parenting decisions and child welfare", "Social manipulation and control tactics in relationships"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy and right to make own decisions ('You never owe your job anything more than the work you were hired to do')", "Opposition to toxic family dynamics and manipulation ('Never, ever poison children by allowing bigots in their presence')", "Support for LGBTQ+ individuals and opposition to conversion therapy ('Conversion camps are abusive... you might have saved your nephew's life')", "Belief that consent and communication are fundamental in relationships", "Advocacy for equal treatment regardless of gender in education and opportunities", "Strong stance on medical privacy rights ('No one, and I mean *no one* has the right to your medical records')", "Prioritization of children's emotional and physical wellbeing over adult convenience", "Opposition to people who use family obligations as manipulation tools", "Belief that actions have consequences and people should be held accountable", "Value of authenticity over maintaining false social appearances", "Support for chosen family over biological family when biological family is harmful", "Belief that gifts should reflect understanding of the recipient as a whole person, not just their domestic role"], "communication": ["Conversational and empathetic tone with direct address to original posters", "Frequent use of emphasis through bold text, italics, and capitalization for key points", "Opens responses with agreement markers like 'This!', 'Seriously', 'Yeah', 'Yep', or 'Absolutely right'", "Uses casual language and mild profanity appropriately ('bat shit', 'wtf', 'jeez')", "Incorporates personal anecdotes to illustrate points (salt/sugar cake story, hypothetical Roomba reaction)", "Employs humor strategically, including hyperbole ('murder plot' joke, 'shrine' for grandchildren)", "Structures longer responses with clear paragraph breaks and logical flow", "Uses rhetorical questions for emphasis ('WHO THE HELL LOCKS UP THEIR CLOTHES????')", "Offers actionable advice and specific recommendations ('get couples counseling *asap*')", "Uses terms of endearment when offering support ('Sweetheart, I'm so sorry')", "Frequently employs conditional statements to highlight consequences ('You *will be the asshole* if you stay with him')", "Balances directness with compassion, especially when discussing sensitive topics"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from approximately 20 words (brief agreements) to 250+ words (detailed advice)", "Average response length approximately 100-120 words", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment abbreviation", "Common phrases include 'you are never the asshole for', 'this is exactly right', 'real talk'", "Uses ellipses frequently for dramatic pauses or trailing thoughts", "Employs ALL CAPS for emphasis on critical points multiple times per response", "Structures responses with 2-4 paragraphs typically for longer comments", "Uses asterisks for *emphasis* and **strong emphasis** regularly", "Incorporates quoted text from original posts to reference specific points", "Balances short punchy sentences with longer explanatory ones for rhythm"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for letting my nephew to call me mom?\n\nAwhile back, my brother married a woman who had an 11 year old son named \"Billy\". A year later my SIL gave birth to a little girl. Two years later, she gave birth to a boy. Billy, who was 14 by this time, was treated like an outsider. My SIL and brother saw him as a burden who spoiled their picture perfect family. If you asked my SIL how many kids she had, she would say two. Billy started acting out. He got involved with a bad group of kids and started getting into trouble. He started failing all of his classes. He eventually got into drugs and was suspended from school. My brother and SIL were fed up with him.\n\nI asked my brother if Billy could spend the summer with me and my husband. We have a hobby farm and I thought maybe getting away from his life for awhile could help him some. Well, they were more than happy to get rid of him (my SIL's words). It was kind of rough the first few weeks. He had a lot of anger issues. But my husband kept his hands and mind busy doing work on the farm. And we both made sure that he knew he was loved and wanted. By August, he was a totally different kid. He wanted to keep living with us but my SIL insisted that he come home. After two months, he went back to his old ways due to his parents indifference. They ended up sending him back to us and he lived with us throughout high school. He ended up being an A/B student and kept with a really great group of kids. He got involved in baseball and got a scholarship to a local university. He's 22 now and is in his last year of school. He's engaged to a really great girl.\n\nWhen he was 16 he started calling me Mom and he started calling my husband Pops. He never really had much to do with his mom and he had nothing to do with my brother. He saw them on holidays when the whole family came over. His mom has tried to have a relationship with him the past few years but he has avoided her. On Christmas, SIL was over and for what ever reason, she opened my desk drawer and found a birthday card from Billy where he said \"To the best mom ever. Thanks for loving me and giving me a chance.\" She was devastated. She ended up texting Billy, confronted him and asked him if she would be presented as mother of the groom at his wedding. He told her that he no longer considered her his mom and wasn't even sure if he wanted her at the wedding at all.\n\nMy SIL is now insisting that I make it clear to Billy that I am not his mother and that he is not to refer to me as such. My brother is also very upset with me. Even my parents are pressuring me to do what SIL wants for the sake of peace. Honestly, I consider Billy to be my son. I count him in with all of my children. I feel like telling Billy not to present me as mother of the groom could possibly be misinterpreted as me saying that I don't feel like he's my son and I don't even want to take a chance of that happening. If he decides to present his real mom as mother of the groom, I will 110% support him. So AITA for not respecting my SIL's wishes?\n\nEdited to add: I have zero desire to tell Billy not to call me mom and I absolutely won't do it because I know it would destroy him and it would kill me. My SIL insists that by not doing it, I'm making it impossible for her to have a relationship with him and I'm being selfish. I have talked to Billy about it some. He doesn't like to talk about his mom at all. He basically just said that he doesn't see her as a mom and has for sure decided he doesn't want her at the wedding. I understand and respect that. \n\nAlso, I just want to thank everyone who left such sweet comments. I've been so choked up reading them all.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1588099754.0, \"created_utc\": 1588099754.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1588113699.0, \"gilded\": 4, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"g9t0d6\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_g9t0d6\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1970, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g9t0d6/aita_for_letting_my_nephew_to_call_me_mom/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25171, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Awhile back, my brother married a woman who had an 11 year old son named \\\"Billy\\\". A year later my SIL gave birth to a little girl. Two years later, she gave birth to a boy. Billy, who was 14 by this time, was treated like an outsider. My SIL and brother saw him as a burden who spoiled their picture perfect family. If you asked my SIL how many kids she had, she would say two. Billy started acting out. He got involved with a bad group of kids and started getting into trouble. He started failing all of his classes. He eventually got into drugs and was suspended from school. My brother and SIL were fed up with him.\\n\\nI asked my brother if Billy could spend the summer with me and my husband. We have a hobby farm and I thought maybe getting away from his life for awhile could help him some. Well, they were more than happy to get rid of him (my SIL's words). It was kind of rough the first few weeks. He had a lot of anger issues. But my husband kept his hands and mind busy doing work on the farm. And we both made sure that he knew he was loved and wanted. By August, he was a totally different kid. He wanted to keep living with us but my SIL insisted that he come home. After two months, he went back to his old ways due to his parents indifference. They ended up sending him back to us and he lived with us throughout high school. He ended up being an A/B student and kept with a really great group of kids. He got involved in baseball and got a scholarship to a local university. He's 22 now and is in his last year of school. He's engaged to a really great girl.\\n\\nWhen he was 16 he started calling me Mom and he started calling my husband Pops. He never really had much to do with his mom and he had nothing to do with my brother. He saw them on holidays when the whole family came over. His mom has tried to have a relationship with him the past few years but he has avoided her. On Christmas, SIL was over and for what ever reason, she opened my desk drawer and found a birthday card from Billy where he said \\\"To the best mom ever. Thanks for loving me and giving me a chance.\\\" She was devastated. She ended up texting Billy, confronted him and asked him if she would be presented as mother of the groom at his wedding. He told her that he no longer considered her his mom and wasn't even sure if he wanted her at the wedding at all.\\n\\nMy SIL is now insisting that I make it clear to Billy that I am not his mother and that he is not to refer to me as such. My brother is also very upset with me. Even my parents are pressuring me to do what SIL wants for the sake of peace. Honestly, I consider Billy to be my son. I count him in with all of my children. I feel like telling Billy not to present me as mother of the groom could possibly be misinterpreted as me saying that I don't feel like he's my son and I don't even want to take a chance of that happening. If he decides to present his real mom as mother of the groom, I will 110% support him. So AITA for not respecting my SIL's wishes?\\n\\nEdited to add: I have zero desire to tell Billy not to call me mom and I absolutely won't do it because I know it would destroy him and it would kill me. My SIL insists that by not doing it, I'm making it impossible for her to have a relationship with him and I'm being selfish. I have talked to Billy about it some. He doesn't like to talk about his mom at all. He basically just said that he doesn't see her as a mom and has for sure decided he doesn't want her at the wedding. I understand and respect that. \\n\\nAlso, I just want to thank everyone who left such sweet comments. I've been so choked up reading them all.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Awhile back, my brother married a woman who had an 11 year old son named "Billy". A year later my SIL gave birth to a little girl. Two years later, she gave birth to a boy. Billy, who was 14 by this time, was treated like an outsider. My SIL and brother saw him as a burden who spoiled their picture perfect family. If you asked my SIL how many kids she had, she would say two. Billy started acting out. He got involved with a bad group of kids and started getting into trouble. He started failing all of his classes. He eventually got into drugs and was suspended from school. My brother and SIL were fed up with him.</p>\\n\\n<p>I asked my brother if Billy could spend the summer with me and my husband. We have a hobby farm and I thought maybe getting away from his life for awhile could help him some. Well, they were more than happy to get rid of him (my SIL's words). It was kind of rough the first few weeks. He had a lot of anger issues. But my husband kept his hands and mind busy doing work on the farm. And we both made sure that he knew he was loved and wanted. By August, he was a totally different kid. He wanted to keep living with us but my SIL insisted that he come home. After two months, he went back to his old ways due to his parents indifference. They ended up sending him back to us and he lived with us throughout high school. He ended up being an A/B student and kept with a really great group of kids. He got involved in baseball and got a scholarship to a local university. He's 22 now and is in his last year of school. He's engaged to a really great girl.</p>\\n\\n<p>When he was 16 he started calling me Mom and he started calling my husband Pops. He never really had much to do with his mom and he had nothing to do with my brother. He saw them on holidays when the whole family came over. His mom has tried to have a relationship with him the past few years but he has avoided her. On Christmas, SIL was over and for what ever reason, she opened my desk drawer and found a birthday card from Billy where he said "To the best mom ever. Thanks for loving me and giving me a chance." She was devastated. She ended up texting Billy, confronted him and asked him if she would be presented as mother of the groom at his wedding. He told her that he no longer considered her his mom and wasn't even sure if he wanted her at the wedding at all.</p>\\n\\n<p>My SIL is now insisting that I make it clear to Billy that I am not his mother and that he is not to refer to me as such. My brother is also very upset with me. Even my parents are pressuring me to do what SIL wants for the sake of peace. Honestly, I consider Billy to be my son. I count him in with all of my children. I feel like telling Billy not to present me as mother of the groom could possibly be misinterpreted as me saying that I don't feel like he's my son and I don't even want to take a chance of that happening. If he decides to present his real mom as mother of the groom, I will 110% support him. So AITA for not respecting my SIL's wishes?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edited to add: I have zero desire to tell Billy not to call me mom and I absolutely won't do it because I know it would destroy him and it would kill me. My SIL insists that by not doing it, I'm making it impossible for her to have a relationship with him and I'm being selfish. I have talked to Billy about it some. He doesn't like to talk about his mom at all. He basically just said that he doesn't see her as a mom and has for sure decided he doesn't want her at the wedding. I understand and respect that. </p>\\n\\n<p>Also, I just want to thank everyone who left such sweet comments. I've been so choked up reading them all.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_g9t0d6\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for letting my nephew to call me mom?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25171, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g9t0d6/aita_for_letting_my_nephew_to_call_me_mom/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. She didn't even consider herself his mother. You saved this kid from a lot of rough shit he probably would have gotten into, and if he sees you as his mom, he should be allowed to call you that.", "role": "thescooobygang", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"thescooobygang\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [17]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_45f5j3wu\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. She didn't even consider herself his mother. You saved this kid from a lot of rough shit he probably would have gotten into, and if he sees you as his mom, he should be allowed to call you that.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. She didn't even consider herself his mother. You saved this kid from a lot of rough shit he probably would have gotten into, and if he sees you as his mom, he should be allowed to call you that.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1588099898.0, \"created_utc\": 1588099898.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fovecjo\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_g9t0d6\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fovecjo\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_g9t0d6\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g9t0d6/aita_for_letting_my_nephew_to_call_me_mom/fovecjo/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23423, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23423, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "34a0fe6323306050", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0850c1237156a263", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "This! NTA!!! OP, you *are* Billy's mom! You raised him through the hardest times in his life, more than his birth mother ever did for him. It is no one's fault but your SIL's that she decided to not be his mom anymore. If she doesn't want to do her literal only job as a mother, she doesn't get to reap the rewards of having a lovely son now that it's easier and she doesn't have to do anything for him anymore. Don't give in, it will only hurt Billy.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>This! NTA!!! OP, you <em>are</em> Billy's mom! You raised him through the hardest times in his life, more than his birth mother ever did for him. It is no one's fault but your SIL's that she decided to not be his mom anymore. If she doesn't want to do her literal only job as a mother, she doesn't get to reap the rewards of having a lovely son now that it's easier and she doesn't have to do anything for him anymore. Don't give in, it will only hurt Billy.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1588112278.0, "created_utc": 1588112278.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fow3ejv", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_g9t0d6", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fow3ejv", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fovecjo", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g9t0d6/aita_for_letting_my_nephew_to_call_me_mom/fow3ejv/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 341, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 341, "user_reports": []}
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I think it might be worth mentioning though that NYU is not a corolla to Cornell's ferrari. They're both extremely good schools--top 30 in the entire US (per us news and world report), with comparable starting salaries out of college.
OP (and her sister) should go wherever she feels she will be happiest. The academic and career opportunities coming out as a graduate of either school will be excellent.
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b84xxt
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5dd357b445b36f44
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{"demographics": {"age group": "40-44 years old (stated 'almost 40' in June 2020)", "gender": "Female (references nursing babies, being a wife, mentions 'my husband')", "location": "NA", "occupation": "College professor at a prestigious public university who evaluates graduate and medical school applicants", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent with children, married, attended college approximately 20 years before 2019 (around 1999-2000)"}, "interests": ["Higher education systems and college admissions processes, particularly regarding prestigious institutions like Cornell and NYU", "Graduate and medical school evaluation and career trajectories in academia", "Parenting challenges, infant care, and child development, particularly nursing and early childhood", "Sexual harassment and assault, especially in educational and workplace settings", "Mental health issues including depression, trauma responses, and emotional compartmentalization", "Addiction, recovery, and the challenges of supporting family members with substance abuse issues", "Family dynamics and interpersonal relationships, particularly parent-child and spousal relationships", "Ethical decision-making in complex situations involving competing obligations", "Workplace boundaries and professional conduct", "The vulnerability of young women in institutional settings and power dynamics", "Long-term consequences of decisions on personal and professional development"], "values": ["Believes victims of harassment should not bear sole responsibility for calling it out: 'We can't keep expecting the young vulnerable victims of harassment to also bear the entirety of the risk'", "Emphasizes that institutional prestige matters less than personal fit and happiness: 'What really, really matters to your future success is the happiness, comfort and motivation you experience at college'", "Advocates for understanding diverse trauma responses: 'compartmentalization is both logically consistent and a sign of how strong your mind and body are'", "Values systemic support over individual heroism in addressing harassment: 'What young women need in this situation is support from other men, and from other people in positions of power'", "Prioritizes children's wellbeing and parental responsibility: 'once you have a child, there's no room for spontaneous decision'", "Believes in clear personal boundaries while maintaining empathy: demonstrates sympathy for difficult situations while refusing to enable harmful behavior", "Recognizes the importance of long-term thinking: 'the rest of your/her life is a long time to be one-upping each other with passive aggressive shit'", "Values emotional intelligence and self-awareness in relationships", "Believes in the complexity of human situations and resists oversimplification", "Emphasizes that personal responsibility includes not putting others at risk", "Advocates for recognizing and validating diverse emotional responses to trauma"], "communication": ["Uses careful qualifications and hedging language: 'I think,' 'perhaps,' 'may very well,' 'For what it's worth'", "Frequently incorporates personal anecdotes to illustrate points: 'speaking from experience,' 'I had to travel for work a couple times when nursing'", "Employs rhetorical questions effectively: 'This is how you be inclusive? By telling a jewish child she doesn't know her own holiday?'", "Uses italics strategically for emphasis: 'WORKING,' 'is,' 'her'", "Builds on others' comments by quoting and extending their arguments", "Writes in a measured, analytical tone that acknowledges complexity", "Varies response length dramatically based on context, from brief affirmations to detailed analyses", "Uses parenthetical asides to add nuance: '(I don't fault OP's classmate, although it makes me sad)'", "Employs conversational markers like 'Yes and,' 'This!' and 'I was a little disappointed to find this so far down'", "Maintains a consistently supportive, non-judgmental tone even when disagreeing", "Uses humor sparingly but effectively: 'well, that got an ugly snort-laugh from me'", "Structures longer arguments systematically, building from premise to conclusion"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 10 words ('Extreme trigger warning, everyone') to over 250 words in detailed analytical responses", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words", "Frequently uses phrases: 'I think,' 'For what it's worth,' 'Yes and,' 'This!' 'I'm sorry'", "Often begins responses with agreement or acknowledgment before adding nuance", "Uses block quotes extensively to reference and build on previous comments", "Employs complex sentence structures with multiple clauses and qualifications", "Frequently uses em-dashes and parentheses to add additional context", "Tends to end responses with forward-looking or empathetic statements", "Uses rhetorical questions in approximately 20% of responses", "Incorporates personal experience in roughly 40% of substantive responses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for going to my sister\u2019s dream school when she just got rejected?\n\n[UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca82iu/update_aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school/)\n\nSo, I got into Cornell last week. Honestly I think it was fluke. I\u2019m not smart, at all. I got a 28 ACT, a decent GPA (because my school grade inflates considerably). I had some decent extracurriculars but nothing remotely competitive enough to get me to a school like Cornell. But anyways...\n\nMy twin sister is the opposite of me. She\u2019s a GENIUS, she has way more impressive stats (34 ACT and she only took it once, compared to my 3 times), she has way better grades, way cooler extracurriculars. Everyone always looked up to her as the smart one. I didn\u2019t and still don\u2019t mind, it\u2019s true. The only reason I can fathom I got in and she didn\u2019t is that she applied to the engineering college while I applied to Arts and Sciences (I don\u2019t know if too many of you guys are familiar with Cornell, but they have a bunch of different colleges you can apply to, each with their different admission criteria). \n\nWell last week, decisions for ivies came out. Unfortunately for my sister, she didn\u2019t get into a single one, including her first choice (Cornell). She checked as SOON as it was available and called me bawling. I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay, that who cares what school you go to, that she was brilliant and was going to be successful no matter where she goes. \n\nWell anyways, I pretty much resolved that I was getting rejected, so I didn\u2019t even bother to look at my email until later that night. Well, I guess surprises do happen sometime, because I\u2019m a Cornellian. I got in. I just don\u2019t know how but I did. \n\nI really want to go guys. But this would devastate my sister. All week she\u2019s been crying and solemn and sad. She\u2019s been angry at her friends who got into top schools (especially the ones with lower stats). She\u2019s decided to go to NYU, but she just hasn\u2019t been herself. I haven\u2019t told our parents (I think they assumed I didn\u2019t get in because she didn\u2019t). \n\nAm I being selfish? Should I just go with her to NYC? We always thought we were going to school together but like... it\u2019s Cornell. I couldn\u2019t in a million years imagine I\u2019d get in. I\u2019ve been researching obsessively about it and I can\u2019t shake the desire that if I don\u2019t go, I\u2019ll regret it. Ithaca looks beautiful, it\u2019s a small town (which I would LOVE to get away with from the huge city that is New York). It seems like a dream opportunity. \n\nAm I being a bad sister? I KNOW she would be upset; we were supposed to go to school together. It would crush her. I really don\u2019t have anyone else to talk to :(. AITA for going to her dream school? Especially considering how much harder she\u2019s worked compared to me...\n\nTLDR: dumb sister (me) gets into Cornell. Smart sister didn\u2019t. She\u2019s depressed. It was her first choice. I want to go tho. AITA?\n\nUPDATE: so everyone here told me that I should go, so I decided to tell my sister. \n\nWell, she started screaming from excitement and got (not actually) mad that how couldn\u2019t I tell her earlier and she\u2019s so proud of me\n\nBut seconds later, her excitement just turned to....sadness. She went from like super giddy to depressed in like seconds,, and she started bawling. Like uncontrollably bawling. I tried to comfort but she pushed me away and locked herself in our room...\n\nI going to give her some alone time right now and we can talk more about it later.\n\nUpdate 2: Please let me know if my updates are annoying; I only expected 3-4 comments and didn\u2019t know so many people were interested, so I thought least I could do is update \n\nSo after 5 mins of the previous post, my sister sent me a text. It said:\n\n> I\u2019m sorry for how I reacted; please don\u2019t be mad. I\u2019m so happy for you and your accomplishments. It\u2019s just that after I got rejected, I at least had the consolation that I get to go to school with you and we can go together. But now you\u2019re going to be where I wanted to be and I\u2019m just so sad. I worked so hard and did everything I could to go to the best school I can and I just feel like all my hard work was just wasted effort. I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m ranting I just need more time\n[...quoted text...]\n\nI\u2019m not going to lie guys, when I read this, I cried. A lot of you are saying that I obviously I have to have attributes that made me desiresble but I really don\u2019t. I don\u2019t deserve my acceptance. I did my homework between classes, barely studied for anything, took the easiest AP classes available, etc. Meanwhile I see my sister always taking the hardest classes, studying as hard as she can, always volunteering. She deserves it, not me, and seeing her so hurt pains me. I\u2019m really strongly just considering going to NYU with her. Everyone at Cornell will just be just like her and I don\u2019t stand a chance. And I know if I go to Cornell, we\u2019re going to drift apart which would suck because we\u2019re best friends and I just don\u2019t want to lose my sister :(\n\nUpdate 3: So I told my parents and they did NOT react how I would've expected them to. First, they tried to insist that Cornell made a mistake between our applications (which would be IMPOSSIBLE; if we applied to the same school within Cornell, like we both applied to Arts and Sciences, then it would be somewhat probable, but we applied to different schools with different admission committees. They couldn't have mixed them up). \n\nThen they went on to explain how I should go to NYU with my sister. I thought it was strange, because they definitely would've supported my sister going to Cornell if I didn't get in. My sister apparently thought so too, because she asked why would I not go to Cornell, and they said how it was unfair that I basically slacked off in high school and was able to go, when my sister was the hardworking one who busted her ass all of school. I don't know if I'm being dramatic, but that hurt. I knew they always thought my sister was the smarter one (they've made it clear multiple times), but to hear them say that I don't deserve my spot sucks. Even though they're probably right.\n\nI stood there in silence, but my sister stood up for me. She asked them how could they say something so cruel to their daughter, that I 100% have every right to be there, and that they should apologize for being so rude. My parents were SHOCKED because we're both very passive people, and neither of us ever talked to them like that before. This started an argument and long story short, we're currently in our rooms. I'm just so thankful to have her stand up for me. I realize that I have internalized a lot of the comments they've made over the years. I'm glad I have my sister actually believe in me.\n\nI still don't know if I want to go to NYU or Cornell, mostly because I just don't want to go to school without her. She's my best friend, and going 4 years without someone who just thinks so positively about you just seems so long. At the end of the day, I ALWAYS thought the NYU was going to be the school I was going to, so I wouldn't lose much by choosing it over Cornell. I'm going to talk about it more with my sister and look into both schools more. Thanks again everybody for your comments; I wouldn't have realize how important of a person my sister is if you guys didn't give me the courage to tell her that I got in.\n\nUpdate 3.5: No new news but I just wanted to say that I'm reading every single comment and I apologize if I don't get to you individually and I appreciate everyone's overwhelming support! You guys are amazing :)", "role": "The_lucky_dumb_one", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"The_lucky_dumb_one\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6bu47st\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1554137532.0, \"created_utc\": 1554137532.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1562515594.0, \"gilded\": 5, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"b84xxt\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_b84xxt\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2447, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b84xxt/aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school_when/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26887, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"[UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca82iu/update_aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school/)\\n\\nSo, I got into Cornell last week. Honestly I think it was fluke. I\\u2019m not smart, at all. I got a 28 ACT, a decent GPA (because my school grade inflates considerably). I had some decent extracurriculars but nothing remotely competitive enough to get me to a school like Cornell. But anyways...\\n\\nMy twin sister is the opposite of me. She\\u2019s a GENIUS, she has way more impressive stats (34 ACT and she only took it once, compared to my 3 times), she has way better grades, way cooler extracurriculars. Everyone always looked up to her as the smart one. I didn\\u2019t and still don\\u2019t mind, it\\u2019s true. The only reason I can fathom I got in and she didn\\u2019t is that she applied to the engineering college while I applied to Arts and Sciences (I don\\u2019t know if too many of you guys are familiar with Cornell, but they have a bunch of different colleges you can apply to, each with their different admission criteria). \\n\\nWell last week, decisions for ivies came out. Unfortunately for my sister, she didn\\u2019t get into a single one, including her first choice (Cornell). She checked as SOON as it was available and called me bawling. I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay, that who cares what school you go to, that she was brilliant and was going to be successful no matter where she goes. \\n\\nWell anyways, I pretty much resolved that I was getting rejected, so I didn\\u2019t even bother to look at my email until later that night. Well, I guess surprises do happen sometime, because I\\u2019m a Cornellian. I got in. I just don\\u2019t know how but I did. \\n\\nI really want to go guys. But this would devastate my sister. All week she\\u2019s been crying and solemn and sad. She\\u2019s been angry at her friends who got into top schools (especially the ones with lower stats). She\\u2019s decided to go to NYU, but she just hasn\\u2019t been herself. I haven\\u2019t told our parents (I think they assumed I didn\\u2019t get in because she didn\\u2019t). \\n\\nAm I being selfish? Should I just go with her to NYC? We always thought we were going to school together but like... it\\u2019s Cornell. I couldn\\u2019t in a million years imagine I\\u2019d get in. I\\u2019ve been researching obsessively about it and I can\\u2019t shake the desire that if I don\\u2019t go, I\\u2019ll regret it. Ithaca looks beautiful, it\\u2019s a small town (which I would LOVE to get away with from the huge city that is New York). It seems like a dream opportunity. \\n\\nAm I being a bad sister? I KNOW she would be upset; we were supposed to go to school together. It would crush her. I really don\\u2019t have anyone else to talk to :(. AITA for going to her dream school? Especially considering how much harder she\\u2019s worked compared to me...\\n\\nTLDR: dumb sister (me) gets into Cornell. Smart sister didn\\u2019t. She\\u2019s depressed. It was her first choice. I want to go tho. AITA?\\n\\nUPDATE: so everyone here told me that I should go, so I decided to tell my sister. \\n\\nWell, she started screaming from excitement and got (not actually) mad that how couldn\\u2019t I tell her earlier and she\\u2019s so proud of me\\n\\nBut seconds later, her excitement just turned to....sadness. She went from like super giddy to depressed in like seconds,, and she started bawling. Like uncontrollably bawling. I tried to comfort but she pushed me away and locked herself in our room...\\n\\nI going to give her some alone time right now and we can talk more about it later.\\n\\nUpdate 2: Please let me know if my updates are annoying; I only expected 3-4 comments and didn\\u2019t know so many people were interested, so I thought least I could do is update \\n\\nSo after 5 mins of the previous post, my sister sent me a text. It said:\\n\\n> I\\u2019m sorry for how I reacted; please don\\u2019t be mad. I\\u2019m so happy for you and your accomplishments. It\\u2019s just that after I got rejected, I at least had the consolation that I get to go to school with you and we can go together. But now you\\u2019re going to be where I wanted to be and I\\u2019m just so sad. I worked so hard and did everything I could to go to the best school I can and I just feel like all my hard work was just wasted effort. I\\u2019m sorry I\\u2019m ranting I just need more time\\n\\nI\\u2019m not going to lie guys, when I read this, I cried. A lot of you are saying that I obviously I have to have attributes that made me desiresble but I really don\\u2019t. I don\\u2019t deserve my acceptance. I did my homework between classes, barely studied for anything, took the easiest AP classes available, etc. Meanwhile I see my sister always taking the hardest classes, studying as hard as she can, always volunteering. She deserves it, not me, and seeing her so hurt pains me. I\\u2019m really strongly just considering going to NYU with her. Everyone at Cornell will just be just like her and I don\\u2019t stand a chance. And I know if I go to Cornell, we\\u2019re going to drift apart which would suck because we\\u2019re best friends and I just don\\u2019t want to lose my sister :(\\n\\nUpdate 3: So I told my parents and they did NOT react how I would've expected them to. First, they tried to insist that Cornell made a mistake between our applications (which would be IMPOSSIBLE; if we applied to the same school within Cornell, like we both applied to Arts and Sciences, then it would be somewhat probable, but we applied to different schools with different admission committees. They couldn't have mixed them up). \\n\\nThen they went on to explain how I should go to NYU with my sister. I thought it was strange, because they definitely would've supported my sister going to Cornell if I didn't get in. My sister apparently thought so too, because she asked why would I not go to Cornell, and they said how it was unfair that I basically slacked off in high school and was able to go, when my sister was the hardworking one who busted her ass all of school. I don't know if I'm being dramatic, but that hurt. I knew they always thought my sister was the smarter one (they've made it clear multiple times), but to hear them say that I don't deserve my spot sucks. Even though they're probably right.\\n\\nI stood there in silence, but my sister stood up for me. She asked them how could they say something so cruel to their daughter, that I 100% have every right to be there, and that they should apologize for being so rude. My parents were SHOCKED because we're both very passive people, and neither of us ever talked to them like that before. This started an argument and long story short, we're currently in our rooms. I'm just so thankful to have her stand up for me. I realize that I have internalized a lot of the comments they've made over the years. I'm glad I have my sister actually believe in me.\\n\\nI still don't know if I want to go to NYU or Cornell, mostly because I just don't want to go to school without her. She's my best friend, and going 4 years without someone who just thinks so positively about you just seems so long. At the end of the day, I ALWAYS thought the NYU was going to be the school I was going to, so I wouldn't lose much by choosing it over Cornell. I'm going to talk about it more with my sister and look into both schools more. Thanks again everybody for your comments; I wouldn't have realize how important of a person my sister is if you guys didn't give me the courage to tell her that I got in.\\n\\nUpdate 3.5: No new news but I just wanted to say that I'm reading every single comment and I apologize if I don't get to you individually and I appreciate everyone's overwhelming support! You guys are amazing :)\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p><a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca82iu/update_aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school/\\\">UPDATE</a></p>\\n\\n<p>So, I got into Cornell last week. Honestly I think it was fluke. I\\u2019m not smart, at all. I got a 28 ACT, a decent GPA (because my school grade inflates considerably). I had some decent extracurriculars but nothing remotely competitive enough to get me to a school like Cornell. But anyways...</p>\\n\\n<p>My twin sister is the opposite of me. She\\u2019s a GENIUS, she has way more impressive stats (34 ACT and she only took it once, compared to my 3 times), she has way better grades, way cooler extracurriculars. Everyone always looked up to her as the smart one. I didn\\u2019t and still don\\u2019t mind, it\\u2019s true. The only reason I can fathom I got in and she didn\\u2019t is that she applied to the engineering college while I applied to Arts and Sciences (I don\\u2019t know if too many of you guys are familiar with Cornell, but they have a bunch of different colleges you can apply to, each with their different admission criteria). </p>\\n\\n<p>Well last week, decisions for ivies came out. Unfortunately for my sister, she didn\\u2019t get into a single one, including her first choice (Cornell). She checked as SOON as it was available and called me bawling. I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay, that who cares what school you go to, that she was brilliant and was going to be successful no matter where she goes. </p>\\n\\n<p>Well anyways, I pretty much resolved that I was getting rejected, so I didn\\u2019t even bother to look at my email until later that night. Well, I guess surprises do happen sometime, because I\\u2019m a Cornellian. I got in. I just don\\u2019t know how but I did. </p>\\n\\n<p>I really want to go guys. But this would devastate my sister. All week she\\u2019s been crying and solemn and sad. She\\u2019s been angry at her friends who got into top schools (especially the ones with lower stats). She\\u2019s decided to go to NYU, but she just hasn\\u2019t been herself. I haven\\u2019t told our parents (I think they assumed I didn\\u2019t get in because she didn\\u2019t). </p>\\n\\n<p>Am I being selfish? Should I just go with her to NYC? We always thought we were going to school together but like... it\\u2019s Cornell. I couldn\\u2019t in a million years imagine I\\u2019d get in. I\\u2019ve been researching obsessively about it and I can\\u2019t shake the desire that if I don\\u2019t go, I\\u2019ll regret it. Ithaca looks beautiful, it\\u2019s a small town (which I would LOVE to get away with from the huge city that is New York). It seems like a dream opportunity. </p>\\n\\n<p>Am I being a bad sister? I KNOW she would be upset; we were supposed to go to school together. It would crush her. I really don\\u2019t have anyone else to talk to :(. AITA for going to her dream school? Especially considering how much harder she\\u2019s worked compared to me...</p>\\n\\n<p>TLDR: dumb sister (me) gets into Cornell. Smart sister didn\\u2019t. She\\u2019s depressed. It was her first choice. I want to go tho. AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>UPDATE: so everyone here told me that I should go, so I decided to tell my sister. </p>\\n\\n<p>Well, she started screaming from excitement and got (not actually) mad that how couldn\\u2019t I tell her earlier and she\\u2019s so proud of me</p>\\n\\n<p>But seconds later, her excitement just turned to....sadness. She went from like super giddy to depressed in like seconds,, and she started bawling. Like uncontrollably bawling. I tried to comfort but she pushed me away and locked herself in our room...</p>\\n\\n<p>I going to give her some alone time right now and we can talk more about it later.</p>\\n\\n<p>Update 2: Please let me know if my updates are annoying; I only expected 3-4 comments and didn\\u2019t know so many people were interested, so I thought least I could do is update </p>\\n\\n<p>So after 5 mins of the previous post, my sister sent me a text. It said:</p>\\n\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>I\\u2019m sorry for how I reacted; please don\\u2019t be mad. I\\u2019m so happy for you and your accomplishments. It\\u2019s just that after I got rejected, I at least had the consolation that I get to go to school with you and we can go together. But now you\\u2019re going to be where I wanted to be and I\\u2019m just so sad. I worked so hard and did everything I could to go to the best school I can and I just feel like all my hard work was just wasted effort. I\\u2019m sorry I\\u2019m ranting I just need more time</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019m not going to lie guys, when I read this, I cried. A lot of you are saying that I obviously I have to have attributes that made me desiresble but I really don\\u2019t. I don\\u2019t deserve my acceptance. I did my homework between classes, barely studied for anything, took the easiest AP classes available, etc. Meanwhile I see my sister always taking the hardest classes, studying as hard as she can, always volunteering. She deserves it, not me, and seeing her so hurt pains me. I\\u2019m really strongly just considering going to NYU with her. Everyone at Cornell will just be just like her and I don\\u2019t stand a chance. And I know if I go to Cornell, we\\u2019re going to drift apart which would suck because we\\u2019re best friends and I just don\\u2019t want to lose my sister :(</p>\\n\\n<p>Update 3: So I told my parents and they did NOT react how I would've expected them to. First, they tried to insist that Cornell made a mistake between our applications (which would be IMPOSSIBLE; if we applied to the same school within Cornell, like we both applied to Arts and Sciences, then it would be somewhat probable, but we applied to different schools with different admission committees. They couldn't have mixed them up). </p>\\n\\n<p>Then they went on to explain how I should go to NYU with my sister. I thought it was strange, because they definitely would've supported my sister going to Cornell if I didn't get in. My sister apparently thought so too, because she asked why would I not go to Cornell, and they said how it was unfair that I basically slacked off in high school and was able to go, when my sister was the hardworking one who busted her ass all of school. I don't know if I'm being dramatic, but that hurt. I knew they always thought my sister was the smarter one (they've made it clear multiple times), but to hear them say that I don't deserve my spot sucks. Even though they're probably right.</p>\\n\\n<p>I stood there in silence, but my sister stood up for me. She asked them how could they say something so cruel to their daughter, that I 100% have every right to be there, and that they should apologize for being so rude. My parents were SHOCKED because we're both very passive people, and neither of us ever talked to them like that before. This started an argument and long story short, we're currently in our rooms. I'm just so thankful to have her stand up for me. I realize that I have internalized a lot of the comments they've made over the years. I'm glad I have my sister actually believe in me.</p>\\n\\n<p>I still don't know if I want to go to NYU or Cornell, mostly because I just don't want to go to school without her. She's my best friend, and going 4 years without someone who just thinks so positively about you just seems so long. At the end of the day, I ALWAYS thought the NYU was going to be the school I was going to, so I wouldn't lose much by choosing it over Cornell. I'm going to talk about it more with my sister and look into both schools more. Thanks again everybody for your comments; I wouldn't have realize how important of a person my sister is if you guys didn't give me the courage to tell her that I got in.</p>\\n\\n<p>Update 3.5: No new news but I just wanted to say that I'm reading every single comment and I apologize if I don't get to you individually and I appreciate everyone's overwhelming support! You guys are amazing :)</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_b84xxt\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for going to my sister\\u2019s dream school when she just got rejected?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26887, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.93, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b84xxt/aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school_when/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NAH. you cant go around passing on these kind of opportunities jsut because your sister might feel bad. im not gonna drive a 2005 corolla over a brand new car just to spare my family from feeling bad just cause i make more money (i dont, im using this as an example). one thing is not to taunt her about it (which you shouldnt do) and another is for people to expect you to pass up on this.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NAH. you cant go around passing on these kind of opportunities jsut because your sister might feel bad. im not gonna drive a 2005 corolla over a brand new car just to spare my family from feeling bad just cause i make more money (i dont, im using this as an example). one thing is not to taunt her about it (which you shouldnt do) and another is for people to expect you to pass up on this. \", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NAH. you cant go around passing on these kind of opportunities jsut because your sister might feel bad. im not gonna drive a 2005 corolla over a brand new car just to spare my family from feeling bad just cause i make more money (i dont, im using this as an example). one thing is not to taunt her about it (which you shouldnt do) and another is for people to expect you to pass up on this. </p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, 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\"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ejvwdhc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_b84xxt\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b84xxt/aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school_when/ejvwdhc/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5dd357b445b36f44", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e475ba8c2b428b95", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I think it might be worth mentioning though that NYU is not a corolla to Cornell's ferrari. They're both extremely good schools--top 30 in the entire US (per us news and world report), with comparable starting salaries out of college.\n\n​\n\nOP (and her sister) should go wherever she feels she will be happiest. The academic and career opportunities coming out as a graduate of either school will be excellent.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I think it might be worth mentioning though that NYU is not a corolla to Cornell's ferrari. They're both extremely good schools--top 30 in the entire US (per us news and world report), with comparable starting salaries out of college.</p>\n\n<p>​</p>\n\n<p>OP (and her sister) should go wherever she feels she will be happiest. The academic and career opportunities coming out as a graduate of either school will be excellent.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1554149619.0, "created_utc": 1554149619.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ejwcszx", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_b84xxt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ejwcszx", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ejvwdhc", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b84xxt/aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school_when/ejwcszx/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yes yes , absolutely. If someone seriously gets mad that OP is in Cornell and not the sister, that really speaks volumes about what they think about OP. ", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yes yes , absolutely. If someone seriously gets mad that OP is in Cornell and not the sister, that really speaks volumes about what they think about OP. </p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1554150533.0, "created_utc": 1554150533.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ejwe35y", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_b84xxt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ejwe35y", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ejwcszx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b84xxt/aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_dream_school_when/ejwe35y/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 18, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 18, "user_reports": []}
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I'm really doing my best to not say mean things to her right now, because I think then she's just create problems out of spite. If I keep my mouth shut, she might just leave and stay with parents, and that's really all that matters.
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uj9izs
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83f962392e36f266
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{"demographics": {"age group": "35-36 years old (stated 35M in May 2022 post)", "gender": "Male (explicitly states '35M' and refers to himself as father)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA (though financially stable enough to own home, afford family therapy, and consider paying for hotel)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Single father of three boys (ages 10, 7, and 3); widower (wife died from ovarian cancer approximately one year before the post); homeowner; has access to legal counsel; financially stable"}, "interests": ["Child welfare and protection, as evidenced by 'She won't be arounf them anymore' and prioritizing his sons' emotional safety", "Mental health and therapy, mentioning 'They are all in various forms of therapy (age-appropriate obviously), as am I'", "Legal matters and proper procedures, asking 'Do you think she would still be considered a tenant?' and consulting with lawyer", "Maintaining relationship with late wife's family, planning 'a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws'", "Honoring deceased wife's memory, stating 'I will forever keep her memory alive for them'", "Family dynamics and custody arrangements, discussing nephew's father pursuing full custody", "Protecting children from bullying and toxic behavior", "Creating positive experiences for his children despite grief, planning 'Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons'"], "values": ["Prioritizes children's emotional wellbeing above all else, stating 'I won't teach them to keep all of this bottled up'", "Values emotional openness and healthy grief expression over toxic masculinity, rejecting sister's 'pu**y' comment", "Shows deep empathy for others experiencing loss, repeatedly saying 'I am so so sorry for your loss' to commenters", "Maintains strong boundaries while showing measured compassion, willing to help nephew but not tolerate abuse", "Believes in professional mental health support, ensuring all family members receive 'age-appropriate' therapy", "Values legal and proper procedures, consulting lawyer before eviction despite emotional situation", "Honors and preserves late wife's memory, saying 'She will forever be both missed and loved'", "Demonstrates financial responsibility and willingness to spend for family's wellbeing, offering to 'pay for her to stay a fucking hotel'", "Shows nuanced thinking about children's behavior, recognizing nephew 'has a good heart' despite issues", "Maintains important family relationships, particularly with in-laws who are maternal grandparents", "Takes decisive protective action when necessary, firmly stating eviction despite family pressure", "Balances justice with mercy, considering circumstances like 'If she was a single mother, maybe my thought process would have been different'"], "communication": ["Uses direct, clear language with minimal ambiguity in statements like 'I own my house' and 'I absolutely will!'", "Frequently expresses gratitude, saying 'Thank you' or 'Thank you so much' in nearly every response", "Shows emotional vulnerability when discussing wife and grief, writing 'Nothing like losing the one you wish to share everything with'", "Employs occasional profanity for emphasis when frustrated, such as 'fucking hotel for a month'", "Provides practical, detailed updates about logistics and plans", "Responds empathetically to others sharing loss experiences, consistently offering condolences", "Uses short, decisive statements when discussing protective actions for children", "Includes casual elements like emoticons (':)') when appropriate", "Maintains respectful tone even when discussing difficult family members", "Balances brevity with explanation depending on context, from two-word responses to detailed paragraphs", "Uses phrases like 'One day at a time' showing measured approach to grief and recovery"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 2 words ('Thank you!') to approximately 80 words in longest responses", "Average response length approximately 20-30 words", "Most frequent phrases include 'Thank you' (appears in majority of responses), 'my boys'/'the kids', 'my nephew', 'his dad'/'his father'", "Frequently uses possessive pronouns when referring to family members", "Common sentence patterns include short declarative statements followed by explanatory details", "Uses exclamation points sparingly but consistently for emphasis or enthusiasm", "Employs first-person perspective throughout all responses", "Minimal use of complex sentence structures, favoring clear and direct communication", "Consistent use of proper capitalization and punctuation with occasional typos ('arounf' for 'around')"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?\n\nI (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. \nA few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. \nYesterday was my 3yro's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I'd have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. \nBefore we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, instead she said \"besides, he's right, kids need a mom\". I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said \"see, it's even turning you into a pu**y\". \nMy in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said \"listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person\". She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her shit and leave. \nShe is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. \nAita for throwing her out?\n\nUPDATE: my mom agreed to take my sister in temporarily, and my nephew is still going to his dad's because now his dad is saying that there's no way he's letting my sister ruin their kid. \nI want to thank you all for your kind words and all the love and support. Also, to everyone who also shared about losing a loved one, I am so so sorry for your loss. \nMy nephew is supposed to leave tomorrow morning, my mom is picking my sister up right around that time, and my inlaws are bringing my boys back in the evening. We'll have a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws. Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons. One day at a time.", "role": "JuanitaaRodriguez", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JuanitaaRodriguez\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mr1lsda9\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1651791214.0, \"created_utc\": 1651791214.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1651865492.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"uj9izs\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2825, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 30129, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. \\nA few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. \\nYesterday was my 3yro's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I'd have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. \\nBefore we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, instead she said \\\"besides, he's right, kids need a mom\\\". I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said \\\"see, it's even turning you into a pu**y\\\". \\nMy in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said \\\"listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person\\\". She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her shit and leave. \\nShe is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. \\nAita for throwing her out?\\n\\nUPDATE: my mom agreed to take my sister in temporarily, and my nephew is still going to his dad's because now his dad is saying that there's no way he's letting my sister ruin their kid. \\nI want to thank you all for your kind words and all the love and support. Also, to everyone who also shared about losing a loved one, I am so so sorry for your loss. \\nMy nephew is supposed to leave tomorrow morning, my mom is picking my sister up right around that time, and my inlaws are bringing my boys back in the evening. We'll have a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws. Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons. One day at a time.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (35M) am a single father of 3 boys (10M, 7M and 3M). Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It has been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced 6 months ago and temporarily moved in with me and the boys. She has a son, my nephew (9M) who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10yro are not the best of friends, but so far they got along fine apart from some teasing from both sides. \\nA few weeks ago my 10yro started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games etc. I talked to my sister many times and told her to talk to her son, we talked to the boys together and things settled down. \\nYesterday was my 3yro's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone, because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. The boys (10yro and 9yro) started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me his cousin teased him about him not having a mom. I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I'd have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he cannot say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. \\nBefore we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying I had no bussineaa disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, instead she said "besides, he's right, kids need a mom". I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said "see, it's even turning you into a pu**y". \\nMy in-laws were crying, I was tearing up, the kids were upset, just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids and the family to cut the cake and we will talk in the evening. She said "listen we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person". She stormed off. After the party I told her she has 2 days to pack her shit and leave. \\nShe is begging me not to throw her out, because she and her kid will be homeless. \\nAita for throwing her out?</p>\\n\\n<p>UPDATE: my mom agreed to take my sister in temporarily, and my nephew is still going to his dad's because now his dad is saying that there's no way he's letting my sister ruin their kid. \\nI want to thank you all for your kind words and all the love and support. Also, to everyone who also shared about losing a loved one, I am so so sorry for your loss. \\nMy nephew is supposed to leave tomorrow morning, my mom is picking my sister up right around that time, and my inlaws are bringing my boys back in the evening. We'll have a little post-birhday thing for my little one when they come, just me, the boys and my inlaws. Just some ice cream (he said he prefers it over cake) and a few cartoons. One day at a time.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 30129, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Your wife died! That\u2019s significantly different from being divorced. Good job protecting your children from her poisonous attitude. And crying due to grief is hardly being a p$ssy so good on you for showing your boys that.", "role": "Zeta8345", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Zeta8345\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [6]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_t9zypec\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Your wife died! That\\u2019s significantly different from being divorced. Good job protecting your children from her poisonous attitude. And crying due to grief is hardly being a p$ssy so good on you for showing your boys that.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Your wife died! That\\u2019s significantly different from being divorced. Good job protecting your children from her poisonous attitude. And crying due to grief is hardly being a p$ssy so good on you for showing your boys that.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1651791679.0, \"created_utc\": 1651791679.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7hjtkj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7hjtkj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_uj9izs\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/i7hjtkj/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 39246, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": false, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 39246, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Thank you. Exactly, I won't teach them to keep all of this bottled up. They are all in various forms of therapy (age-appropriate obviously), as am I.", "role": "JuanitaaRodriguez", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"JuanitaaRodriguez\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_mr1lsda9\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Thank you. Exactly, I won't teach them to keep all of this bottled up. They are all in various forms of therapy (age-appropriate obviously), as am I.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Thank you. Exactly, I won't teach them to keep all of this bottled up. They are all in various forms of therapy (age-appropriate obviously), as am I.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1651792401.0, \"created_utc\": 1651792401.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i7hldkq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, 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null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24470, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "You\u2019re very kind for not telling your sister that you see now why she ended up divorced.", "role": "whateverathrowaway00", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"whateverathrowaway00\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [6]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_60av5gl2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"You\\u2019re very kind for not telling your sister that you see now why she ended up divorced.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>You\\u2019re very kind for not telling your sister that you see now why she ended up divorced.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": 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null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i7l2k21\", \"no_follow\": true, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i7hldkq\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/i7l2k21/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "83f962392e36f266", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "cfda6f3434269797", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I'm really doing my best to not say mean things to her right now, because I think then she's just create problems out of spite. If I keep my mouth shut, she might just leave and stay with parents, and that's really all that matters.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I'm really doing my best to not say mean things to her right now, because I think then she's just create problems out of spite. If I keep my mouth shut, she might just leave and stay with parents, and that's really all that matters.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1651863336.0, "created_utc": 1651863336.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i7l6mw5", "is_submitter": true, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_uj9izs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i7l6mw5", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i7l2k21", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/uj9izs/aita_for_throwing_my_sister_and_her_son_out_of_my/i7l6mw5/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 15, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 15, "user_reports": []}
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Only 20 minutes?!? My friend sent stamped cards that were filled out except for a check box, and still people didn’t spend 20 seconds to check a box and drop them in the post.
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hzyy7b
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2c71adf289625ee9
| 1,596,033,358
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent with multiple children, at least one son and references to 'kids' plural; children appear to be school-aged to young adult based on contexts (Cub Scouts, elementary school, sensitivity issues)"}, "interests": ["Parenting experiences and challenges, frequently sharing anecdotes about their children's behaviors and development", "Child development and education, particularly regarding sensitive and introverted children", "School-related issues and advocating for children, as shown in 'I lost my shit and had a tense phone call with school admin'", "Family dynamics and relationships, commenting on various family conflict scenarios", "Social etiquette and appropriate behavior in various contexts", "Standing up against unfair treatment, particularly when children are involved", "Practical household management, mentioning activities like Halloween, moving houses, and daily routines", "Teaching children life lessons through natural consequences, as in the store example where the joking child 'got nothing'", "Supporting children's autonomy and individual personalities, defending introverted traits", "Hair care and personal grooming, discussing long hair maintenance and frustration with tangling"], "values": ["Strong advocacy for children's wellbeing and protection, stating 'I hope you can convince your son that he can tell you anything and you'll never abandon him'", "Teaching through natural consequences rather than empty threats, demonstrated in multiple parenting examples", "Honoring memories and sentimental connections, commenting 'he's honoring his son's memory by helping someone who is keeping that memory alive'", "Appreciation for genuine effort and responsibility in children, noting the daughter who 'washed dishes and did laundry' deserves praise", "Supporting individual differences and personality types, defending introverted children's needs", "Valuing authenticity over performative behavior, criticizing the 'whites only drinking fountain' comparison for performative wokeness", "Believing in age-appropriate education, stating 'There's no excuse for a 16-year-old boy not to know' about periods", "Appreciation for positive interactions with people who have disabilities or differences, being 'thankful it was a positive comment' about a baby's helmet", "Recognizing the difficulty of major life changes as one ages, noting moving 'is so much work now'", "Valuing practical solutions over appearances, discussing cheap vs expensive makeup and gym memberships", "Supporting small businesses and appropriate use of specialized services, defending going to black salons for curly hair"], "communication": ["Conversational and relatable tone, frequently beginning with casual phrases like 'For real,' 'Hell,' 'I bet,' or 'My kids'", "Uses personal anecdotes to illustrate points, consistently sharing relevant family experiences", "Brief, punchy responses averaging 2-4 sentences, typically 50-80 words", "Employs humor and sarcasm effectively, such as 'I'd probably assume my kids were abducted' about them doing chores", "Direct and straightforward communication style without excessive elaboration", "Uses colloquial language and informal expressions like 'idk,' 'lol,' and casual grammar", "Often validates others' experiences before sharing their own perspective", "Includes specific, concrete details from personal experience rather than abstract advice", "Occasionally uses creative suggestions with a mischievous tone, like hiding cupcakes to 'create discord between the jerks'", "Comfortable with self-deprecating humor, mentioning 'I haven't even added Hulu to the upstairs Roku because I haven't felt like messing with it'"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 50-80 words, typically 2-4 sentences", "Minimum response length: around 15-20 words in shortest responses like 'Tell that to burnt popcorn'", "Maximum response length: approximately 120-150 words in longer anecdotal responses", "Frequently uses possessive phrases: 'My son,' 'My kids,' 'My daughter' appear in majority of responses", "Common opening phrases: 'For real,' 'Hell,' 'I bet,' 'My [family member],' 'This is exactly how I feel'", "Sentence structure varies between short declarative statements and longer narrative sentences with multiple clauses", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently to add context or humor", "Employs rhetorical questions occasionally for emphasis", "Consistent use of first-person perspective, sharing personal experiences rather than general advice"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for refusing to RSVP to my sister\u2019s wedding because I\u2019m required to write an \u201capplication essay\u201d just to attend?\n\nYeah I know this sounds insane but I\u2019m living in it. \n\nSo my sister is getting married next February, destination wedding no less. I have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything but she is totally set on moving forward.\n\nAnyways because of the pandemic, her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they\u2019re cutting capacity by half. As a result she\u2019s sending out \u201cre-invites\u201d that asks everyone to RSVP again. But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she\u2019s asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250-word \u201cessays\u201d to two questions. The gist is that they\u2019ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people\u2019s enthusiasm. People who don\u2019t write the essays at all will be automatically disqualified.\n\nI just feel really insulted by all of this. The questions aren\u2019t even pandemic-related, its broad topics like \u201dwhy do you still want to celebrate this day with us?\u201d And \u201cwhat will attending our wedding mean to you specifically?\u201d So she\u2019s blatantly looking for people to kiss ass and tell her why they REALLY want to go. \n\nAnyways I told her in advance I\u2019m not writing 500 words on why I NEED to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets/hotels, and buy her a present. This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way. She\u2019s said that to keep things fair if I don\u2019t fill out the RSVP correctly I won\u2019t be saved a spot. I said fine with me. Then my parents said if I don\u2019t show up I\u2019m going to be in big fucking trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays. \n\nAITA if I stay stubborn on this? I\u2019m already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine. But I will not belt out 500 words on how this is totally my choice. AITA?\n\nEdit: I\u2019m 27F. I don\u2019t live with family but she is my only sister.\n\nEdit2: Sister has framed these essays as \u201csurveys\u201d but there\u2019s a word limit requirement so if you don\u2019t reach it on the google forms you can\u2019t even submit. Parents think this is perfectly reasonable, nice even, because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend.", "role": "Flodomofo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Flodomofo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5om2fcj1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1596021568.0, \"created_utc\": 1596021568.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1596023925.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hzyy7b\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hzyy7b\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3744, \"num_crossposts\": 13, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hzyy7b/aita_for_refusing_to_rsvp_to_my_sisters_wedding/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32175, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Yeah I know this sounds insane but I\\u2019m living in it. \\n\\nSo my sister is getting married next February, destination wedding no less. I have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything but she is totally set on moving forward.\\n\\nAnyways because of the pandemic, her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they\\u2019re cutting capacity by half. As a result she\\u2019s sending out \\u201cre-invites\\u201d that asks everyone to RSVP again. But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she\\u2019s asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250-word \\u201cessays\\u201d to two questions. The gist is that they\\u2019ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people\\u2019s enthusiasm. People who don\\u2019t write the essays at all will be automatically disqualified.\\n\\nI just feel really insulted by all of this. The questions aren\\u2019t even pandemic-related, its broad topics like \\u201dwhy do you still want to celebrate this day with us?\\u201d And \\u201cwhat will attending our wedding mean to you specifically?\\u201d So she\\u2019s blatantly looking for people to kiss ass and tell her why they REALLY want to go. \\n\\nAnyways I told her in advance I\\u2019m not writing 500 words on why I NEED to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets/hotels, and buy her a present. This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way. She\\u2019s said that to keep things fair if I don\\u2019t fill out the RSVP correctly I won\\u2019t be saved a spot. I said fine with me. Then my parents said if I don\\u2019t show up I\\u2019m going to be in big fucking trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays. \\n\\nAITA if I stay stubborn on this? I\\u2019m already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine. But I will not belt out 500 words on how this is totally my choice. AITA?\\n\\nEdit: I\\u2019m 27F. I don\\u2019t live with family but she is my only sister.\\n\\nEdit2: Sister has framed these essays as \\u201csurveys\\u201d but there\\u2019s a word limit requirement so if you don\\u2019t reach it on the google forms you can\\u2019t even submit. Parents think this is perfectly reasonable, nice even, because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yeah I know this sounds insane but I\\u2019m living in it. </p>\\n\\n<p>So my sister is getting married next February, destination wedding no less. I have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything but she is totally set on moving forward.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyways because of the pandemic, her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they\\u2019re cutting capacity by half. As a result she\\u2019s sending out \\u201cre-invites\\u201d that asks everyone to RSVP again. But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she\\u2019s asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250-word \\u201cessays\\u201d to two questions. The gist is that they\\u2019ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people\\u2019s enthusiasm. People who don\\u2019t write the essays at all will be automatically disqualified.</p>\\n\\n<p>I just feel really insulted by all of this. The questions aren\\u2019t even pandemic-related, its broad topics like \\u201dwhy do you still want to celebrate this day with us?\\u201d And \\u201cwhat will attending our wedding mean to you specifically?\\u201d So she\\u2019s blatantly looking for people to kiss ass and tell her why they REALLY want to go. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyways I told her in advance I\\u2019m not writing 500 words on why I NEED to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets/hotels, and buy her a present. This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way. She\\u2019s said that to keep things fair if I don\\u2019t fill out the RSVP correctly I won\\u2019t be saved a spot. I said fine with me. Then my parents said if I don\\u2019t show up I\\u2019m going to be in big fucking trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA if I stay stubborn on this? I\\u2019m already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine. But I will not belt out 500 words on how this is totally my choice. AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: I\\u2019m 27F. I don\\u2019t live with family but she is my only sister.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit2: Sister has framed these essays as \\u201csurveys\\u201d but there\\u2019s a word limit requirement so if you don\\u2019t reach it on the google forms you can\\u2019t even submit. Parents think this is perfectly reasonable, nice even, because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hzyy7b\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for refusing to RSVP to my sister\\u2019s wedding because I\\u2019m required to write an \\u201capplication essay\\u201d just to attend?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32175, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hzyy7b/aita_for_refusing_to_rsvp_to_my_sisters_wedding/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA \nHoly moley. Are her parents writing the essay too?", "role": "r00d1", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"r00d1\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7g74k9dc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA \\nHoly moley. Are her parents writing the essay too?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA \\nHoly moley. Are her parents writing the essay too?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596023362.0, \"created_utc\": 1596023362.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzm27r0\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hzyy7b\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fzm27r0\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_hzyy7b\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hzyy7b/aita_for_refusing_to_rsvp_to_my_sisters_wedding/fzm27r0/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 305, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 305, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yep. My mom even called to say she filled out the form and it only took her 20 minutes so I shouldn\u2019t be whining.", "role": "Flodomofo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Flodomofo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5om2fcj1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yep. My mom even called to say she filled out the form and it only took her 20 minutes so I shouldn\\u2019t be whining.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yep. My mom even called to say she filled out the form and it only took her 20 minutes so I shouldn\\u2019t be whining.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596024031.0, \"created_utc\": 1596024031.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzm325w\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hzyy7b\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fzm325w\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fzm27r0\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hzyy7b/aita_for_refusing_to_rsvp_to_my_sisters_wedding/fzm325w/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 439, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 439, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "2c71adf289625ee9", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [3]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "a6ba0831c7cb46c5", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Only 20 minutes?!? My friend sent stamped cards that were filled out except for a check box, and still people didn\u2019t spend 20 seconds to check a box and drop them in the post.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Only 20 minutes?!? My friend sent stamped cards that were filled out except for a check box, and still people didn\u2019t spend 20 seconds to check a box and drop them in the post.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1596033358.0, "created_utc": 1596033358.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1596038555.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fzmhx2o", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hzyy7b", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fzmhx2o", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fzm325w", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hzyy7b/aita_for_refusing_to_rsvp_to_my_sisters_wedding/fzmhx2o/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 23, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 23, "user_reports": []}
|
NTA. He could change it, but he chooses not to. Not your problem. I get email for a guy in Texas, Argentina, and New York. I used to forward important looking emails, after a couple of years, I said screw it and stopped.
|
heoy9x
|
e2caf05448cf022b
| 1,592,971,013
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and conflicts, particularly parent-child relationships", "Boundary violations and personal autonomy issues, as evidenced by supporting the son getting a lock: 'It's funny how locks mean secrets to nosey intrusive people'", "Step-family dynamics and favoritism, responding to multiple posts about stepparents and stepchildren", "Mental health and therapy, showing understanding when commenting 'Really sounds like youre taking steps that will improve your relationship with your kids'", "Custody and parenting disputes, engaging with posts about child custody arrangements", "Wedding and family event drama, responding to posts about wedding conflicts", "Financial conflicts within families, commenting on money-related disputes", "Toxic relationship patterns and manipulation, consistently identifying controlling behavior", "Personal responsibility and accountability in relationships", "Child welfare and protection, prioritizing children's needs in custody situations", "Workplace dynamics and employee-employer relationships, as seen in the manager/employee update response", "Privacy and respect in family settings"], "values": ["Strong emphasis on personal boundaries and respecting others' autonomy, stating 'Your responsibility is to Your sister's kids. Not your sister. Building a relationship should be based on the kids timeline'", "Belief in cutting off toxic relationships without guilt: 'Don't worry about people that don't have your best interest'", "Support for honest, direct communication: 'Yes, You should talk to your dad like an adult. Adults get rid of relationships that don't support them'", "Prioritizing children's wellbeing and emotional needs over adult convenience", "Valuing personal accountability: 'He could change it, but he chooses not to. Not your problem'", "Appreciation for people who acknowledge mistakes and seek improvement: 'Good for you for not ignoring that there is an issue'", "Intolerance for manipulation and deception: 'Your husband is a liar. NTA'", "Support for elderly people's right to humor and self-expression: 'You're a grama, It sounds like you've earned the right to be inappropriate once in a while'", "Belief that actions have consequences and people should expect outcomes of their behavior", "Recognition that family status doesn't excuse boundary violations or disrespect", "Support for mental health treatment and professional help", "Emphasis on protecting oneself from people who don't respect boundaries"], "communication": ["Extremely concise writing style, with most responses under 25 words", "Frequently leads with 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) verdict at the beginning or end of response", "Uses direct, straightforward language without elaborate explanations", "Employs casual, conversational tone with contractions and informal phrasing", "Often reframes the situation to highlight the core issue: 'The misunderstanding was that you thought they were your friends. They are obviously not'", "Uses rhetorical questions for emphasis: 'What's your mother's friend's bitching have to do with you?'", "Occasionally uses emphatic expressions like 'WTF' for strong reactions", "Addresses the original poster directly using second-person pronouns", "Provides brief well-wishes like 'Good luck' when appropriate", "Uses periods for emphasis by keeping sentences short and punchy", "Sometimes employs humor or sarcasm: 'Maybe your brothers ex will meet someone nice at your wedding'", "Minimal use of formatting or punctuation beyond basic sentence structure"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 15-25 words", "Minimum response length: 9 words ('Your husband is a liar. NTA.')", "Maximum response length: approximately 35 words", "Most frequent phrase: 'NTA' appears in majority of responses", "Common words: 'sounds like', 'your', 'you', 'not', 'people', 'relationship'", "Sentence structure: predominantly simple sentences, occasionally compound sentences with 'and' or 'but'", "Typical response format: 1-3 sentences total", "Frequent use of second-person address ('you', 'your') to engage directly with original poster", "Consistent use of periods, minimal use of other punctuation except occasional question marks", "Response pattern: often states judgment (NTA/YTA) plus brief reasoning or reframing of situation"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for changing the package pickup each time someone uses my email for orders?\n\nSo pretty much, there\u2019s this guy who keeps ordering things with my email. He isn\u2019t using any other personal information of mine so i don\u2019t think it\u2019s a privacy concern. \n\nSo back to the point, I will occasionally get emails from random websites about an order confirmation. I\u2019ve never heard of most of those websites and I know for a fact none of my family members used my email to buy something.\n\nWith most emails, there\u2019s a number, name and an address (I\u2019m assuming it\u2019s the persons address) attached. I\u2019ve tried texting the number and even calling but I\u2019ve never gotten an answer. \n\nI\u2019d always get emails from ups to confirm the pickup/drop off area. Ever since I\u2019ve gotten the emails, I always change the location for delivery. So instead of it being delivered at his doorstep, it gets shipped to a post office 20 miles away. He can\u2019t change that since like I said, it\u2019s all attached to my email.\n\nI recently got an email from the guy and turns out, the reason he keeps writing my email is because his and mine are both almost identical. (Imagine mine is \u201cabc\u201d his is \u201cacb\u201d) so he always switches one letter therefore I get the emails. \n\nIn his email, he calls me an asshole for making the pickup so far. When I asked him why can\u2019t he just use his own email he said: It\u2019s always a typo I do and I don\u2019t feel like fixing it because it takes too much time.\n\nI\u2019m not even joking, that\u2019s exactly what he said.\n\nSo AITA for sabotaging this guys packages?", "role": "treeonreddit", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"treeonreddit\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4ubv30tl\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1592952519.0, \"created_utc\": 1592952519.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"heoy9x\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_heoy9x\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1435, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/heoy9x/aita_for_changing_the_package_pickup_each_time/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25821, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"So pretty much, there\\u2019s this guy who keeps ordering things with my email. He isn\\u2019t using any other personal information of mine so i don\\u2019t think it\\u2019s a privacy concern. \\n\\nSo back to the point, I will occasionally get emails from random websites about an order confirmation. I\\u2019ve never heard of most of those websites and I know for a fact none of my family members used my email to buy something.\\n\\nWith most emails, there\\u2019s a number, name and an address (I\\u2019m assuming it\\u2019s the persons address) attached. I\\u2019ve tried texting the number and even calling but I\\u2019ve never gotten an answer. \\n\\nI\\u2019d always get emails from ups to confirm the pickup/drop off area. Ever since I\\u2019ve gotten the emails, I always change the location for delivery. So instead of it being delivered at his doorstep, it gets shipped to a post office 20 miles away. He can\\u2019t change that since like I said, it\\u2019s all attached to my email.\\n\\nI recently got an email from the guy and turns out, the reason he keeps writing my email is because his and mine are both almost identical. (Imagine mine is \\u201cabc\\u201d his is \\u201cacb\\u201d) so he always switches one letter therefore I get the emails. \\n\\nIn his email, he calls me an asshole for making the pickup so far. When I asked him why can\\u2019t he just use his own email he said: It\\u2019s always a typo I do and I don\\u2019t feel like fixing it because it takes too much time.\\n\\nI\\u2019m not even joking, that\\u2019s exactly what he said.\\n\\nSo AITA for sabotaging this guys packages?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>So pretty much, there\\u2019s this guy who keeps ordering things with my email. He isn\\u2019t using any other personal information of mine so i don\\u2019t think it\\u2019s a privacy concern. </p>\\n\\n<p>So back to the point, I will occasionally get emails from random websites about an order confirmation. I\\u2019ve never heard of most of those websites and I know for a fact none of my family members used my email to buy something.</p>\\n\\n<p>With most emails, there\\u2019s a number, name and an address (I\\u2019m assuming it\\u2019s the persons address) attached. I\\u2019ve tried texting the number and even calling but I\\u2019ve never gotten an answer. </p>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019d always get emails from ups to confirm the pickup/drop off area. Ever since I\\u2019ve gotten the emails, I always change the location for delivery. So instead of it being delivered at his doorstep, it gets shipped to a post office 20 miles away. He can\\u2019t change that since like I said, it\\u2019s all attached to my email.</p>\\n\\n<p>I recently got an email from the guy and turns out, the reason he keeps writing my email is because his and mine are both almost identical. (Imagine mine is \\u201cabc\\u201d his is \\u201cacb\\u201d) so he always switches one letter therefore I get the emails. </p>\\n\\n<p>In his email, he calls me an asshole for making the pickup so far. When I asked him why can\\u2019t he just use his own email he said: It\\u2019s always a typo I do and I don\\u2019t feel like fixing it because it takes too much time.</p>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019m not even joking, that\\u2019s exactly what he said.</p>\\n\\n<p>So AITA for sabotaging this guys packages?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_heoy9x\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for changing the package pickup each time someone uses my email for orders?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25821, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/heoy9x/aita_for_changing_the_package_pickup_each_time/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e2caf05448cf022b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7aeb29dd0460d357", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. He could change it, but he chooses not to. Not your problem. I get email for a guy in Texas, Argentina, and New York. I used to forward important looking emails, after a couple of years, I said screw it and stopped.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. He could change it, but he chooses not to. Not your problem. I get email for a guy in Texas, Argentina, and New York. I used to forward important looking emails, after a couple of years, I said screw it and stopped.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1592971013.0, "created_utc": 1592971013.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fvtgbrq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_heoy9x", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fvtgbrq", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_heoy9x", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/heoy9x/aita_for_changing_the_package_pickup_each_time/fvtgbrq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}
|
It's never *you* causing the drama just by living life and being somewhere.
Drama is only caused by the people who think you shouldn't be allowed exist.
And people need to stop tissue-wrapping those people to protect them from the world, because by protecting the intolerant, they are oppressing the innocent.
|
qyux9z
|
09504cf4ef2f08ea
| 1,637,516,538
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and interpersonal relationship dynamics, particularly in AITA contexts", "Legal rights and protections, frequently suggesting 'Please see an attorney' or discussing power of attorney", "Disability rights and accommodations, as seen in defending the user with missing fingers: 'they're bullying you for having a disability'", "Marriage and divorce issues, especially involving manipulation or control", "Inheritance and estate matters, providing detailed advice about 'nunc pro tunc' divorces and medical bill responsibilities", "Parental rights and adoption/guardianship situations, emphasizing 'Adoptive parents are parents, and that's what you are'", "Workplace dynamics and professional boundaries", "Cultural and racial issues in relationships, noting 'natural hair is such an important part of the culture black women are raised in'"], "values": ["Strong advocacy for personal autonomy and self-determination: 'It's *your* life. Anyone who doesn't respect that doesn't respect you'", "Firm belief in setting and maintaining boundaries, especially against family pressure", "Protection of vulnerable individuals, particularly children and those with disabilities", "Opposition to controlling behavior in relationships: 'If he can't even pee like a responsible adult.....'", "Support for people who stand up against manipulation: 'You're using your money for the ingredients and doesn't sound like you've inconvenienced your family at all'", "Emphasis on legal rights and proper documentation: 'you need to tell him about it before they do' regarding family secrets", "Belief that actions have consequences and people should be held accountable", "Recognition that grief or difficult circumstances don't excuse harmful behavior: 'There's zero reason to allow him to barge in with *his* grief'"], "communication": ["Direct, assertive judgments often starting with 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) verdicts", "Frequent use of italics for emphasis on key words: '*his* grief,' '*your* life,' 'I wonder if part of OP's motivation'", "Employs vivid, sometimes colorful language: 'assmonkey,' 'panty parade,' 'hard little bitch who takes no prisoners'", "Provides practical, actionable advice alongside moral judgments: 'r/JUSTNOFAMILY might be a good place for you to start browsing'", "Uses rhetorical questions to make points: 'How did this fool marry a black woman and not know that you can't go cramming your hands into a black woman's hair?'", "Balances empathy with firm boundaries: 'You don't sound like a bad person at all' followed by practical advice", "Often predicts future consequences: 'His resentment isn't going to go away. It's going to fester'", "Incorporates legal terminology when relevant: 'nunc pro tunc,' 'Power of Attorney'", "Varies tone from supportive ('I'm glad you got away, OP') to sharply critical of wrongdoers", "Uses parenthetical asides for additional commentary or emphasis"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 20 words ('It sounds like Brenda wants to be the one who starches OP's huband's collars') to 200+ words in detailed analyses", "Frequently uses 'NTA' abbreviation at the start of responses", "Common phrases include 'You don't owe anyone,' 'Please see an attorney,' 'Good riddance,' and variations of boundary-setting language", "Uses italics in approximately 60-70% of responses for emphasis", "Often structures responses with initial judgment, followed by explanation, then practical advice", "Employs metaphors and analogies regularly: 'victory lap,' 'drawing a line in the sand,' 'albatross of a name'", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words for standard replies, longer for complex situations", "Frequently references specific subreddits or professional resources (attorneys, therapists, HR departments)"]}
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[{"content": "WIBTA if I refuse to go to my sister's wedding because I can't bring my girlfriend as my +1?\n\nI'm a lesbian, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now.\n\nMy family, including my sister, is all fine with me being gay and supportive of my relationship. However, her fianc\u00e9 comes from a very regressive and religious family, and while he himself is fine, his extended family is very traditional and anti-gay.\n\nMy sister gave me my invitation in person instead of mailing it, and explained that I wasn't getting a +1 because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family. All my other siblings have +1s and are welcome to bring their (hetero) partners.\n\nI understand where she's coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I'm not going to try and force her to give me a +1, but I'm seriously considering not going. I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.\n\nI haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I so stay home, would I be the asshole?", "role": "Brilliant-Position19", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Brilliant-Position19\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gruw6hak\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1637501134.0, \"created_utc\": 1637501134.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"qyux9z\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2504, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23071, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a lesbian, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now.\\n\\nMy family, including my sister, is all fine with me being gay and supportive of my relationship. However, her fianc\\u00e9 comes from a very regressive and religious family, and while he himself is fine, his extended family is very traditional and anti-gay.\\n\\nMy sister gave me my invitation in person instead of mailing it, and explained that I wasn't getting a +1 because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family. All my other siblings have +1s and are welcome to bring their (hetero) partners.\\n\\nI understand where she's coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I'm not going to try and force her to give me a +1, but I'm seriously considering not going. I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.\\n\\nI haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I so stay home, would I be the asshole?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a lesbian, and I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years now.</p>\\n\\n<p>My family, including my sister, is all fine with me being gay and supportive of my relationship. However, her fianc\\u00e9 comes from a very regressive and religious family, and while he himself is fine, his extended family is very traditional and anti-gay.</p>\\n\\n<p>My sister gave me my invitation in person instead of mailing it, and explained that I wasn't getting a +1 because having a gay couple at the wedding would likely end up causing lots of drama with his side of the family. All my other siblings have +1s and are welcome to bring their (hetero) partners.</p>\\n\\n<p>I understand where she's coming from, but it still feels like such a slap in the face. I'm not going to try and force her to give me a +1, but I'm seriously considering not going. I love my sister, but I'm not comfortable spending a whole day alone, while my other siblings are allowed to bring their partners, just because my sister wants to cater to a bunch of bigots.</p>\\n\\n<p>I haven't said anything to anyone yet, but if I so stay home, would I be the asshole?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"WIBTA if I refuse to go to my sister's wedding because I can't bring my girlfriend as my +1?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23071, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the AH for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that he sister be treated with such disrespect. Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays? \n\nI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re being treated this way.", "role": "photosbeersandteach", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"photosbeersandteach\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd700\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d0f51afc-f510-11e8-a5da-0e4d9a1c42d6\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Supreme Court Just-ass [130]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4rub3jwk\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the AH for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that he sister be treated with such disrespect. Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays? \\n\\nI\\u2019m sorry you\\u2019re being treated this way.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You deserve to be treated with equal respect as your other siblings. Your sister is the AH for siding with her homophobic in laws and going through with marrying someone who would demand that he sister be treated with such disrespect. Exactly how long does your sister expect you to exclude your partner or any future partner from large family events to cater to her in laws? If they have kids, will you be allowed to have a relationship with them, will they attend your wedding, what about holidays? </p>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019m sorry you\\u2019re being treated this way.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637501725.0, \"created_utc\": 1637501725.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlia9g6\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlia9g6\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlia9g6/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27297, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27297, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "NTA and as a gay guy i feel with OP.\n\nMy grandpa (am LC with) is quite conservative and probably wouldnt accept me just like that.\n\nMy brother just got engaged and ofc me and my bf are invited. Idc if we cause drama and it seems so does my brother.", "role": "Arkurash", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Arkurash\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8d781bpr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA and as a gay guy i feel with OP.\\n\\nMy grandpa (am LC with) is quite conservative and probably wouldnt accept me just like that.\\n\\nMy brother just got engaged and ofc me and my bf are invited. Idc if we cause drama and it seems so does my brother.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA and as a gay guy i feel with OP.</p>\\n\\n<p>My grandpa (am LC with) is quite conservative and probably wouldnt accept me just like that.</p>\\n\\n<p>My brother just got engaged and ofc me and my bf are invited. Idc if we cause drama and it seems so does my brother.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1637506418.0, \"created_utc\": 1637506418.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hlijblg\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qyux9z\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hlijblg\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hlia9g6\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlijblg/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 830, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 830, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "09504cf4ef2f08ea", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#8f7312", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "db40139e-f967-11e8-b7d6-0e359a529158", "author_flair_text": "Certified Proctologist [21]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "036f02538b1cc757", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It's never *you* causing the drama just by living life and being somewhere.\n\nDrama is only caused by the people who think you shouldn't be allowed exist.\n\nAnd people need to stop tissue-wrapping those people to protect them from the world, because by protecting the intolerant, they are oppressing the innocent.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It's never <em>you</em> causing the drama just by living life and being somewhere.</p>\n\n<p>Drama is only caused by the people who think you shouldn't be allowed exist.</p>\n\n<p>And people need to stop tissue-wrapping those people to protect them from the world, because by protecting the intolerant, they are oppressing the innocent.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1637516538.0, "created_utc": 1637516538.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hlj7h6f", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_qyux9z", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hlj7h6f", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hlijblg", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qyux9z/wibta_if_i_refuse_to_go_to_my_sisters_wedding/hlj7h6f/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 150, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 150, "user_reports": []}
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Yup! I hope OP sees these comments and takes her money literally elsewhere.
Do not spend thousands trying to procreate with this man. He is showing his true colours, accept that and run away or let him permenantly stay with his friends.
OP needs someone who will actually be a partner in this.
|
vm861k
|
505ff87dc7b6d60e
| 1,656,410,508
| 6
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "27-32 years old (based on being in secondary school in 2000s, last response June 2021)", "gender": "Female (uses 'I' when discussing period products, mentions being catcalled as a schoolgirl, discusses experiences as a woman)", "location": "United Kingdom (uses \u00a3 currency, British spelling like 'mum', 'behaviour', mentions secondary school system, references Uber Eats and Deliveroo)", "occupation": "Employed with 9-5 job, experiencing financial constraints (mentions '9-5' work, struggling with rent, needing car for commuting)", "nationality": "British", "other": "Has a partner who requires hospital appointments, no car ownership, renting accommodation, has food intolerances"}, "interests": ["Gender equality and women's rights, particularly around menstrual health stigma ('End the stigma around periods! It's so fucking stupid in the 21st century')", "Relationship dynamics and toxic behavior patterns, frequently analyzing manipulation and boundary violations in relationships", "Financial literacy and economic inequality ('\u00a32k for me would allow me to get a car and have a small deposit which would mean being able to move further out')", "LGBTQ+ rights and gender identity issues (supportive of gender-neutral pronouns, critical of transphobic comments)", "Sexual harassment and consent issues ('This shit is literally the worst. I remember being cat called by some douche burger')", "Family dynamics and parenting, particularly around setting boundaries and consequences for children's behavior", "Mental health awareness and therapy ('Continued persistence will mean NC or even a restraining order')", "Social justice and calling out problematic behavior ('This is why the \"not all men\" thing needs to get tossed into the sun')"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and consequences for violating them ('no means no and this is overstepping your boundaries')", "Advocates for ending period stigma and normalizing menstrual health discussions ('A 16 year old boy should know what a period is and shouldn't be freaked out by it')", "Opposes manipulation and gaslighting in relationships ('She did you a great deal of hurt over her own selfishness')", "Believes in financial independence and realistic money education ('Best that OP teaches him about the realities of money now before it fucks him up in a few years')", "Strong feminist stance against sexual harassment ('Men routinely make women feel unsafe just for existing')", "Values accountability over enabling bad behavior ('by not calling it out and/or defending it, they are part of the problem')", "Supports genuine apologies over performative ones ('They aren't sorry for what they did they just \"want their grand babies\"')", "Believes in teaching consent and respect early ('I will never understand women who turn their backs on other women for living their lives')", "Opposes victim-blaming and clothing-based safety myths ('that attitude will only come to hurt your daughter')", "Values standing up for others even when it's uncomfortable ('More people need to be doing this! And not just for SA but for things like racism too')"], "communication": ["Uses British English spelling consistently ('behaviour,' 'mum,' 'realise,' 'colour')", "Employs emphatic profanity for emphasis ('fuck/fucking,' 'bloody,' 'Jesus Christ,' 'douche burger')", "Frequently starts responses with agreement markers ('Right?,' 'Preach.,' 'I dunno why,' 'Agree NTA')", "Shares personal anecdotes to support arguments ('I remember being cat called by some douche burger hanging out of his van window WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL')", "Uses rhetorical questions to challenge problematic thinking ('how about asking those ladies if they think it's a joke or find it funny?')", "Addresses original posters directly and supportively ('NTA OP,' 'OP, tell everyone no means no')", "Varies response length from single words ('Preach.') to detailed multi-paragraph analyses", "Uses ellipses for trailing thoughts and emphasis ('like... fuck... that attitude will only come to hurt your daughter')", "Employs capitalization for emphasis ('WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL and in UNIFORM!!!')", "Direct and blunt communication style while remaining supportive ('I hate that your story is like so many others. Too many others')", "Uses contemporary internet slang and abbreviations ('NTA,' 'NC,' 'SO,' 'AH')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 80-120 words, with range from 1 word ('Preach.') to 250+ words", "Most frequent phrases include 'NTA,' 'OP,' 'fuck/fucking,' 'boundaries,' 'toxic,' 'manipulation'", "Consistently uses exclamation points for emphasis (average 2-4 per response)", "Frequently employs rhetorical questions (1-3 per longer response)", "Uses ellipses regularly for emphasis and trailing thoughts", "British spelling maintained 100% consistently across all responses", "Personal anecdotes included in approximately 40% of responses", "Direct address to OP or other commenters in approximately 70% of responses"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for getting back the money my husband took from our IVF treatment and gave to his friend?\n\nTo start off I want to say that my husband (36M) has an old friend (33M) that he's known since highschool. they're inseperable and spend the entire week together. like they're really really close.\n\nMy husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years. we recently started new method (IVF) in hopes to get at least one child together. Note that I saved for the majority of treatment while my husband only paid 2-3 thousands. We saved up for another round after the huge disappointment and heartbreak from failing the first time (that's just how it goes). This time I'd put all the money (including dad's inhertance) and my husband didn't pay a cent.\n\n\nLast week I found out that he secretly pulled out 7k (we had 11k in total). I was completely and utterly shocked I confronted him and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his \"old junk\" car and he decided to \"lend\" him 7k to buy a decent car, his argument was that his friend would've done the same for him. I was beyond livid I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn't worry and guaranteed his friend will pay us back in time. I lost it on him and immediately demanded his friend to send the money back and threatened police involvement in case he refused. His friend immediately returned the money but told my husband about the polic thing and my husband came home and yelled at me calling me unhinged and selfish. I told him I saved up some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we're in this together. He \"corrected\" me saying I'm the one with the problem and he thought it's only fair that I \"make up\" for it by paying for the IVF myself. This hurt so badly and I couldn't argue anymore. He went to stay with his friend while constantly shaming me for how I treated them both and for the police invovlement like they stole from me or something.", "role": "throwra5755557", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwra5755557\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_pa1niw3q\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1656371333.0, \"created_utc\": 1656371333.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"vm861k\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4145, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23102, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"\\nTo start off I want to say that my husband (36M) has an old friend (33M) that he's known since highschool. they're inseperable and spend the entire week together. like they're really really close.\\n\\nMy husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years. we recently started new method (IVF) in hopes to get at least one child together. Note that I saved for the majority of treatment while my husband only paid 2-3 thousands. We saved up for another round after the huge disappointment and heartbreak from failing the first time (that's just how it goes). This time I'd put all the money (including dad's inhertance) and my husband didn't pay a cent.\\n\\n\\nLast week I found out that he secretly pulled out 7k (we had 11k in total). I was completely and utterly shocked I confronted him and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his \\\"old junk\\\" car and he decided to \\\"lend\\\" him 7k to buy a decent car, his argument was that his friend would've done the same for him. I was beyond livid I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn't worry and guaranteed his friend will pay us back in time. I lost it on him and immediately demanded his friend to send the money back and threatened police involvement in case he refused. His friend immediately returned the money but told my husband about the polic thing and my husband came home and yelled at me calling me unhinged and selfish. I told him I saved up some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we're in this together. He \\\"corrected\\\" me saying I'm the one with the problem and he thought it's only fair that I \\\"make up\\\" for it by paying for the IVF myself. This hurt so badly and I couldn't argue anymore. He went to stay with his friend while constantly shaming me for how I treated them both and for the police invovlement like they stole from me or something.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>To start off I want to say that my husband (36M) has an old friend (33M) that he's known since highschool. they're inseperable and spend the entire week together. like they're really really close.</p>\\n\\n<p>My husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years. we recently started new method (IVF) in hopes to get at least one child together. Note that I saved for the majority of treatment while my husband only paid 2-3 thousands. We saved up for another round after the huge disappointment and heartbreak from failing the first time (that's just how it goes). This time I'd put all the money (including dad's inhertance) and my husband didn't pay a cent.</p>\\n\\n<p>Last week I found out that he secretly pulled out 7k (we had 11k in total). I was completely and utterly shocked I confronted him and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his "old junk" car and he decided to "lend" him 7k to buy a decent car, his argument was that his friend would've done the same for him. I was beyond livid I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn't worry and guaranteed his friend will pay us back in time. I lost it on him and immediately demanded his friend to send the money back and threatened police involvement in case he refused. His friend immediately returned the money but told my husband about the polic thing and my husband came home and yelled at me calling me unhinged and selfish. I told him I saved up some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we're in this together. He "corrected" me saying I'm the one with the problem and he thought it's only fair that I "make up" for it by paying for the IVF myself. This hurt so badly and I couldn't argue anymore. He went to stay with his friend while constantly shaming me for how I treated them both and for the police invovlement like they stole from me or something.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for getting back the money my husband took from our IVF treatment and gave to his friend?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23102, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. That was money you saved/inherited. That means you ARE the one paying for it and he DID steal from you.", "role": "lmchatterbox", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"lmchatterbox\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#e3be04\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"e899ca7e-a710-11e9-8365-0e193c0f4a16\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Professor Emeritass [85]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_eje666yq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. That was money you saved/inherited. That means you ARE the one paying for it and he DID steal from you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. That was money you saved/inherited. That means you ARE the one paying for it and he DID steal from you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656371630.0, \"created_utc\": 1656371630.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"idzks92\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_idzks92\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/idzks92/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24813, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24813, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "This is what I wanted to say right here.\n\nThe husband says OP acted like they stole the money\u2026 **that is absolutely what happened** \n\nOP: This was your money, your inheritance. Your husband absolutely stole it from you. \n\nClearly you want children, but if you have children with this person, your life is only going to get worse. You owe it to yourself to find someone who is as interested in having kids as you are. You owe it to yourself to find someone who respects and loves you. Your current husband clearly does not. \n\nNTA\u2026 but spending $1000s of dollars to have children with this person is a huge mistake.", "role": "Dennis_Ogre", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Dennis_Ogre\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dlq3r\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"This is what I wanted to say right here.\\n\\nThe husband says OP acted like they stole the money\\u2026 **that is absolutely what happened** \\n\\nOP: This was your money, your inheritance. Your husband absolutely stole it from you. \\n\\nClearly you want children, but if you have children with this person, your life is only going to get worse. You owe it to yourself to find someone who is as interested in having kids as you are. You owe it to yourself to find someone who respects and loves you. Your current husband clearly does not. \\n\\nNTA\\u2026 but spending $1000s of dollars to have children with this person is a huge mistake.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This is what I wanted to say right here.</p>\\n\\n<p>The husband says OP acted like they stole the money\\u2026 <strong>that is absolutely what happened</strong> </p>\\n\\n<p>OP: This was your money, your inheritance. Your husband absolutely stole it from you. </p>\\n\\n<p>Clearly you want children, but if you have children with this person, your life is only going to get worse. You owe it to yourself to find someone who is as interested in having kids as you are. You owe it to yourself to find someone who respects and loves you. Your current husband clearly does not. </p>\\n\\n<p>NTA\\u2026 but spending $1000s of dollars to have children with this person is a huge mistake.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656376605.0, \"created_utc\": 1656376605.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"idzvegw\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, 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\"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 12407, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Don\u2019t procreate with this type of man. \n\nAsk me how I know :(", "role": "No_Performance8733", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"No_Performance8733\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6hj79ur1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Don\\u2019t procreate with this type of man. \\n\\nAsk me how I know :(\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Don\\u2019t procreate with this type of man. </p>\\n\\n<p>Ask me how I know :(</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656378989.0, \"created_utc\": 1656378989.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ie00cei\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ie00cei\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_idzvegw\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/ie00cei/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5423, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5423, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Same! I'm right there with you! OP, run. RUN! Run like your hair is on fire!", "role": "cherchezlafemmed", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"cherchezlafemmed\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_os1zg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Same! I'm right there with you! OP, run. RUN! Run like your hair is on fire!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Same! I'm right there with you! OP, run. RUN! Run like your hair is on fire!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656384215.0, \"created_utc\": 1656384215.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ie0b418\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ie0b418\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ie00cei\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/ie0b418/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 638, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 638, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "this, the fact he clearly resents her for needing to do ivf to begin with is sickening", "role": "Stellarkin1996", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Stellarkin1996\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4zudpoiy\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"this, the fact he clearly resents her for needing to do ivf to begin with is sickening\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>this, the fact he clearly resents her for needing to do ivf to begin with is sickening</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1656385280.0, \"created_utc\": 1656385280.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ie0d6r2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_vm861k\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ie0d6r2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ie0b418\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/ie0d6r2/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2860, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2860, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "505ff87dc7b6d60e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "74fe4985754dd273", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yup! I hope OP sees these comments and takes her money literally elsewhere.\n\nDo not spend thousands trying to procreate with this man. He is showing his true colours, accept that and run away or let him permenantly stay with his friends.\n\nOP needs someone who will actually be a partner in this.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yup! I hope OP sees these comments and takes her money literally elsewhere.</p>\n\n<p>Do not spend thousands trying to procreate with this man. He is showing his true colours, accept that and run away or let him permenantly stay with his friends.</p>\n\n<p>OP needs someone who will actually be a partner in this.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1656410508.0, "created_utc": 1656410508.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ie1c9yp", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_vm861k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ie1c9yp", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ie0d6r2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vm861k/aita_for_getting_back_the_money_my_husband_took/ie1c9yp/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}
|
Yeah, but his entire excuse for taking the picture was that he had read the tag and identified the dog as a seizure alert dog. Any percentage of likelihood is too high when you're consciously making a terrible choice like that.
|
e015on
|
03322dcacb7f7b2e
| 1,574,439,858
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and intergenerational conflicts, particularly involving mothers, sisters, and children", "Relationship issues including infidelity, coming out stories, and partner conflicts", "Parenting scenarios and appropriate consequences for children's misbehavior", "Wedding-related conflicts and family tensions around major life events", "Social justice issues, particularly LGBTQ+ rights and transgender acceptance", "Calling out manipulative behavior and identifying hidden motives ('she just knows that she's about to look bad publicly')", "Animal welfare and pet ownership responsibilities (responses about dogs and cats)", "Mental health issues including schizophrenia awareness and therapy recommendations", "Identifying patterns of narcissism and toxic family dynamics", "Television shows and pop culture references (Grace and Frankie discussion)", "Practical problem-solving in conflict situations ('security cameras', 'cage with a lock')", "Accountability and consequences for destructive actions"], "values": ["Strong protective instincts toward vulnerable parties, especially children ('protecting them', 'you're amazing for doing so')", "Belief in holding people accountable for their actions regardless of circumstances ('She does not give one single shit about her son')", "Opposition to prejudice and discrimination, particularly regarding sexual orientation and gender identity", "Values family bonds formed through love and care over biological connections ('You're a good man')", "Believes consequences should match the severity of actions ('the money is forfit for her medical bills')", "Appreciates honesty and directness in communication, dislikes manipulation", "Shows empathy for victims while being harsh on perpetrators ('Your dad is a big AH')", "Values personal boundaries and consent ('you don't need to make comments that people will assume mean she was unfaithful')", "Believes in calling out enabling behavior ('your mom is right up there with him - talk about a champion rug-sweeper')", "Supports practical solutions over empty gestures", "Values generosity and forgiveness when genuine ('you have a very generous and forgiving spirit')", "Believes people create self-worth by breaking down others ('a mean girl is a mean girl')"], "communication": ["Uses conversational, direct language with occasional humor and wit ('You mean 5th child, as he is clearly one of the other 4')", "Employs italics for emphasis and dramatic effect (*Down the front??*)", "Frequently uses rhetorical questions to make points ('what did she think was going to happen?')", "Makes cultural references and puns ('You can't have-a the Mango.....on an exclusively vegan diet')", "Provides practical, actionable advice alongside moral judgments", "Uses Reddit-specific terminology like 'NTA' (Not The Asshole)", "Varies between brief, punchy responses (5-10 words) and detailed analytical paragraphs (100+ words)", "Often identifies underlying motivations that others miss ('Doesn't matter how old you are, a mean girl is a mean girl')", "Uses sarcasm and dry humor to criticize bad behavior", "Employs ellipses for dramatic pauses and emphasis", "Tends to start responses with agreement/disagreement before explaining reasoning", "Makes sharp observations about human behavior and psychology ('Maybe that's why she did it.....envy')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-60 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 5 words ('A snail without a house is just a slug')", "Maximum response length: approximately 150 words (Grace and Frankie response)", "Frequently uses 'NTA' abbreviation in AITA contexts", "Common phrases include 'mean girl', 'NTA', 'asshole', 'you're right', variations of 'she/he doesn't give a shit'", "Uses italics in approximately 30% of responses for emphasis", "Employs rhetorical questions in roughly 40% of responses", "Sentence structure varies from single-sentence responses to multi-paragraph analyses", "Frequently uses contractions and informal language ('doesn't', 'you're', 'I'd')", "Often includes direct quotes from original posts to support arguments"]}
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[{"content": "AITA For telling a stranger to delete a picture of me and my seizure alert dog that he took of me on the bus even after he told me why?\n\nHeya. \n\nSo this happened a few days ago, and I'm still pretty worried about whether I'm an asshole or not. \n\nI take the bus to and from work and it's quite a long commute. Background: \n\n I have epilepsy. I have a seizure alert dog, and he comes with me on the bus. Because hes trained to do all kinds of support tasks, hes a large breed dog (sheepdog/poodle cross). \n\nIve had a lot of seizures on the bus, so I have a hard time mentally dealing with the commute every day. To accommodate his size and to make me comfortable, I sit in the disability seating section if it's available so he can lay beneath/between my legs and out of the way. \n\nNow onto the story: \n\nI'm on the bus ride home, and I found a seat in the disability section. I was about 2 stops from my home, and I was starting to have a few auras, so my dog turned around and was facing me/alerting me. The next thing I know, I see a flash. \n\nI look up, and a man sitting near me was holding up his phone and taking a picture of me. I was in a bit of a rough state, so I asked him to delete it. I was probably firmer than I usually would be, but my dog was alerting me and I had about 10-15 mins to get home. \n\nThe man was stuttering and saying things like \"I just wanted a picture he was being so cute and I saw his ID badge (he has one attached to his vest that says \"seizure alert dog\").\" I asked him again to delete the pic and then he goes \"my daughter has epilepsy and it would be important to her to see a working seizure alert dog\" \n\nI told him there were plenty of resources online and made him show me that he deleted it. \n\nI was then at my stop and ran home.\n\nI felt bad, because I do epilepsy activism work so I felt for him but I was really uncomfortable with someone taking a picture of me while my seizure alert dog in the disability section just felt wrong. \n\nShould I have just let him keep the picture? AITA?\n\nEdit to clear up some things: \n\n-I dont care about legality, just the asshole nature of the situation\n-I'm a female :) \n-I live in Canada\n-While I dont have exclusive photosensitive epilepsy, flashing lights make my auras worse \n-If he had asked me, I would have gotten out of the way and let him take a picture of my dog. Hes super cute so I get it.\n\n\n\nEdit: I didnt know about the dog tax! Attached: [The headshot my work took for our HR Directory! ](https://imgur.com/a/Xm2lRpc)", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1574430267.0, \"created_utc\": 1574430267.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1574441788.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"e015on\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_e015on\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2904, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e015on/aita_for_telling_a_stranger_to_delete_a_picture/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23640, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Heya. \\n\\nSo this happened a few days ago, and I'm still pretty worried about whether I'm an asshole or not. \\n\\nI take the bus to and from work and it's quite a long commute. Background: \\n\\n I have epilepsy. I have a seizure alert dog, and he comes with me on the bus. Because hes trained to do all kinds of support tasks, hes a large breed dog (sheepdog/poodle cross). \\n\\nIve had a lot of seizures on the bus, so I have a hard time mentally dealing with the commute every day. To accommodate his size and to make me comfortable, I sit in the disability seating section if it's available so he can lay beneath/between my legs and out of the way. \\n\\nNow onto the story: \\n\\nI'm on the bus ride home, and I found a seat in the disability section. I was about 2 stops from my home, and I was starting to have a few auras, so my dog turned around and was facing me/alerting me. The next thing I know, I see a flash. \\n\\nI look up, and a man sitting near me was holding up his phone and taking a picture of me. I was in a bit of a rough state, so I asked him to delete it. I was probably firmer than I usually would be, but my dog was alerting me and I had about 10-15 mins to get home. \\n\\nThe man was stuttering and saying things like \\\"I just wanted a picture he was being so cute and I saw his ID badge (he has one attached to his vest that says \\\"seizure alert dog\\\").\\\" I asked him again to delete the pic and then he goes \\\"my daughter has epilepsy and it would be important to her to see a working seizure alert dog\\\" \\n\\nI told him there were plenty of resources online and made him show me that he deleted it. \\n\\nI was then at my stop and ran home.\\n\\nI felt bad, because I do epilepsy activism work so I felt for him but I was really uncomfortable with someone taking a picture of me while my seizure alert dog in the disability section just felt wrong. \\n\\nShould I have just let him keep the picture? AITA?\\n\\nEdit to clear up some things: \\n\\n-I dont care about legality, just the asshole nature of the situation\\n-I'm a female :) \\n-I live in Canada\\n-While I dont have exclusive photosensitive epilepsy, flashing lights make my auras worse \\n-If he had asked me, I would have gotten out of the way and let him take a picture of my dog. Hes super cute so I get it.\\n\\n\\n\\nEdit: I didnt know about the dog tax! Attached: [The headshot my work took for our HR Directory! ](https://imgur.com/a/Xm2lRpc)\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Heya. </p>\\n\\n<p>So this happened a few days ago, and I'm still pretty worried about whether I'm an asshole or not. </p>\\n\\n<p>I take the bus to and from work and it's quite a long commute. Background: </p>\\n\\n<p>I have epilepsy. I have a seizure alert dog, and he comes with me on the bus. Because hes trained to do all kinds of support tasks, hes a large breed dog (sheepdog/poodle cross). </p>\\n\\n<p>Ive had a lot of seizures on the bus, so I have a hard time mentally dealing with the commute every day. To accommodate his size and to make me comfortable, I sit in the disability seating section if it's available so he can lay beneath/between my legs and out of the way. </p>\\n\\n<p>Now onto the story: </p>\\n\\n<p>I'm on the bus ride home, and I found a seat in the disability section. I was about 2 stops from my home, and I was starting to have a few auras, so my dog turned around and was facing me/alerting me. The next thing I know, I see a flash. </p>\\n\\n<p>I look up, and a man sitting near me was holding up his phone and taking a picture of me. I was in a bit of a rough state, so I asked him to delete it. I was probably firmer than I usually would be, but my dog was alerting me and I had about 10-15 mins to get home. </p>\\n\\n<p>The man was stuttering and saying things like "I just wanted a picture he was being so cute and I saw his ID badge (he has one attached to his vest that says "seizure alert dog")." I asked him again to delete the pic and then he goes "my daughter has epilepsy and it would be important to her to see a working seizure alert dog" </p>\\n\\n<p>I told him there were plenty of resources online and made him show me that he deleted it. </p>\\n\\n<p>I was then at my stop and ran home.</p>\\n\\n<p>I felt bad, because I do epilepsy activism work so I felt for him but I was really uncomfortable with someone taking a picture of me while my seizure alert dog in the disability section just felt wrong. </p>\\n\\n<p>Should I have just let him keep the picture? AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit to clear up some things: </p>\\n\\n<p>-I dont care about legality, just the asshole nature of the situation\\n-I'm a female :) \\n-I live in Canada\\n-While I dont have exclusive photosensitive epilepsy, flashing lights make my auras worse \\n-If he had asked me, I would have gotten out of the way and let him take a picture of my dog. Hes super cute so I get it.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: I didnt know about the dog tax! Attached: <a href=\\\"https://imgur.com/a/Xm2lRpc\\\">The headshot my work took for our HR Directory! </a></p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_e015on\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA For telling a stranger to delete a picture of me and my seizure alert dog that he took of me on the bus even after he told me why?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23640, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.85, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e015on/aita_for_telling_a_stranger_to_delete_a_picture/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Why tf is he taking a picture with his flash on then!?!?! What a Dick", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Why tf is he taking a picture with his flash on then!?!?! What a Dick\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Why tf is he taking a picture with his flash on then!?!?! What a Dick</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1574430556.0, \"created_utc\": 1574430556.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f8b8rd3\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e015on\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f8b8rd3\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_e015on\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e015on/aita_for_telling_a_stranger_to_delete_a_picture/f8b8rd3/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 7833, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 7833, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "For what it's worth, photosensitive epilepsy accounts for only about 3% of total epilepsy diagnoses, though the rate is slightly higher for people diagnosed as children. I think I'd give the situation a NAH; the man taking the picture seemed like he genuinely didn't have any ill will, although taking a sudden, unexpected photo of anyone with flash on is pretty inconsiderate. The OP was well within their rights to ask the guy to delete the photo; you don't need to justify yourself for not wanting pictures taken of you in public. If anyone is an asshole here, it's the picture-taker, but he really just seems oblivious to me, and he did delete the photo. Of course the OP is allowed to be upset, but personally I'm a pretty forgiving person, so it just feels a little much for me to call the guy the AH in this situation.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"For what it's worth, photosensitive epilepsy accounts for only about 3% of total epilepsy diagnoses, though the rate is slightly higher for people diagnosed as children. I think I'd give the situation a NAH; the man taking the picture seemed like he genuinely didn't have any ill will, although taking a sudden, unexpected photo of anyone with flash on is pretty inconsiderate. The OP was well within their rights to ask the guy to delete the photo; you don't need to justify yourself for not wanting pictures taken of you in public. If anyone is an asshole here, it's the picture-taker, but he really just seems oblivious to me, and he did delete the photo. Of course the OP is allowed to be upset, but personally I'm a pretty forgiving person, so it just feels a little much for me to call the guy the AH in this situation.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>For what it's worth, photosensitive epilepsy accounts for only about 3% of total epilepsy diagnoses, though the rate is slightly higher for people diagnosed as children. I think I'd give the situation a NAH; the man taking the picture seemed like he genuinely didn't have any ill will, although taking a sudden, unexpected photo of anyone with flash on is pretty inconsiderate. The OP was well within their rights to ask the guy to delete the photo; you don't need to justify yourself for not wanting pictures taken of you in public. If anyone is an asshole here, it's the picture-taker, but he really just seems oblivious to me, and he did delete the photo. Of course the OP is allowed to be upset, but personally I'm a pretty forgiving person, so it just feels a little much for me to call the guy the AH in this situation.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1574433312.0, \"created_utc\": 1574433312.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f8bc9p8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_e015on\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f8bc9p8\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f8b8rd3\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e015on/aita_for_telling_a_stranger_to_delete_a_picture/f8bc9p8/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 154, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 154, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "03322dcacb7f7b2e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#ab8c0e", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0", "author_flair_text": "Colo-rectal Surgeon [46]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "baf9483b047595c4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yeah, but his entire excuse for taking the picture was that he had read the tag and identified the dog as a seizure alert dog. Any percentage of likelihood is too high when you're consciously making a terrible choice like that.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yeah, but his entire excuse for taking the picture was that he had read the tag and identified the dog as a seizure alert dog. Any percentage of likelihood is too high when you're consciously making a terrible choice like that.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1574439858.0, "created_utc": 1574439858.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f8blr88", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e015on", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f8blr88", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f8bc9p8", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e015on/aita_for_telling_a_stranger_to_delete_a_picture/f8blr88/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 36, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 36, "user_reports": []}
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That is YOUR house not his children’s house. Your daughter wants it as her future home he wants it as a potential payout for his kids absolutely NTA
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k9husr
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f9a4204d0d91d68b
| 1,607,478,921
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "Indian", "other": "Given a Muslim first name despite not being Muslim, as stated in response to 9/11 discrimination post"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and parent-child relationships, particularly responding to posts about parental favoritism and neglect", "Child custody and welfare issues, especially protecting children from harmful situations", "Cultural identity and discrimination, engaging with posts about Hindi language use and Islamophobia", "Inheritance and financial disputes within families", "Workplace conflicts and harassment, particularly HR-related issues", "Boundary violations in personal relationships, such as theft and privacy invasion", "Toxic family relationships and going no-contact with abusive relatives", "Blended family conflicts and stepparent/stepchild dynamics", "Marriage and relationship conflicts, especially involving manipulation or control", "Standing up against discrimination and advocating for marginalized individuals", "Protecting vulnerable individuals from exploitation or abuse", "Issues involving grief, loss, and respecting deceased loved ones' memories"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and autonomy, stating 'NTA time to start locking your bedroom door' when boundaries are violated", "Prioritizes children's wellbeing and stability, emphasizing 'kids are not a toy you lend out when the other person is ready to play with them'", "Advocates for standing up against abuse and toxic behavior, encouraging 'do your thing, defend yourself, show how strong you are'", "Values cultural identity preservation, defending a daughter's right to speak Hindi without being 'policed when having a one on one conversation WITH HER MOTHER in her home'", "Believes in cutting toxic people out of one's life, supporting decisions to go no-contact with abusive family members", "Supports chosen family over blood relations, validating those who prioritize supportive relationships over biological ties", "Emphasizes fairness and equal treatment, stating 'You don't punish one child to make another feel better'", "Values honesty and direct communication in confronting wrongdoing", "Believes people should face consequences for their harmful actions, supporting suspension of HR member who discriminated", "Advocates for protecting oneself legally and documenting harmful behavior ('start a log of every time this idea of sharing is mentioned')", "Opposes manipulation and guilt-tripping in relationships", "Strongly supports reporting discrimination and harassment to appropriate authorities"], "communication": ["Uses very concise responses, often 1-3 sentences, with many under 20 words", "Frequently leads with 'NTA' judgment before providing reasoning", "Employs emphatic capitalization for emphasis, such as 'YOUR house' and 'THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION'", "Uses colloquial language and slang like 'talk \ud83d\udca9' and 'Dude OMG'", "Incorporates emojis and symbols (\ud83d\udde3\ud83d\udde3, \ud83d\udca9) to add emphasis or emotion", "Employs rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity ('how the f do you even explain that in the future')", "Uses direct, assertive language without hedging or softening statements", "Provides practical, actionable advice ('please report this girl to the appropriate parties')", "Sometimes uses humor or sarcasm to make points ('If the friends think the marriage is so healthy one of them can marry him')", "Validates original posters' feelings and decisions with supportive language", "Occasionally writes longer, more detailed responses when the situation involves complex harm to children", "Uses second-person address to speak directly to the original poster"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 20-25 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 2 words ('NTA,' 'Agreed, NTA')", "Maximum response length: approximately 100 words (baby-borrowing custody post)", "Most common phrases: 'NTA,' 'you did right,' 'protect,' 'toxic,' 'boundaries,' 'stability and consistency'", "Frequently uses sentence fragments and incomplete sentences for emphasis", "Often begins responses with judgment abbreviation (NTA) followed by explanation", "Uses mix of simple and complex sentence structures depending on topic complexity", "Employs frequent use of second-person pronouns ('you,' 'your') to directly address poster", "Incorporates questions in approximately 20% of responses to prompt reflection or highlight issues"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for saying that my daughter inherits my house \"no matter what\"?\n\nI'm a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M. \n\nI have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend. I've never explicitly told my daughter \"the house will be yours\" nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense - that's my daughter. Who else would I give it to?\n\nOne important note - There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who's been here as long as I have). Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you're not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.\n\nMy fiance Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I'm excited to help raise them. Steven and I don't have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren't for the house. I told him that I'm ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house. It's a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn't happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child. She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it's split. \n\nI spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.", "role": "GiGiGi3", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"GiGiGi3\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_98e7gf4u\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1607477117.0, \"created_utc\": 1607477117.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"k9husr\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_k9husr\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2149, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k9husr/aita_for_saying_that_my_daughter_inherits_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32841, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M. \\n\\nI have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend. I've never explicitly told my daughter \\\"the house will be yours\\\" nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense - that's my daughter. Who else would I give it to?\\n\\nOne important note - There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who's been here as long as I have). Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you're not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.\\n\\nMy fiance Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I'm excited to help raise them. Steven and I don't have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren't for the house. I told him that I'm ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house. It's a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn't happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child. She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it's split. \\n\\nI spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a single mom in my 50s with one daughter. I got very lucky in that I bought a home in the Bay Area nearly 30 years ago for around $230K before the tech boom and now the house is worth about $1M. </p>\\n\\n<p>I have a 23 year old daughter Camila who grew up in that house and she moved out last year to go live with her boyfriend. I've never explicitly told my daughter "the house will be yours" nor has she asked anything about it, but just sort of common sense - that's my daughter. Who else would I give it to?</p>\\n\\n<p>One important note - There are 2 homes in the neighborhood that are owned by lower middle class people (me and a neighbor who's been here as long as I have). Otherwise, our neighbors are engineers and software developers. The Bay Area is simply un-affordable if you're not in tech. My daughter is a hair stylist.</p>\\n\\n<p>My fiance Steven and I have been together for 2 years. He has 2 young children (elementary school) he has joint custody of who I adore and I'm excited to help raise them. Steven and I don't have a ton in the bank so a pre-nup seemed silly if it weren't for the house. I told him that I'm ready to combine finances and plan long term with him, but I wanted a pre-nup agreement just for the house. It's a non-negotiable for me that my daughter inherits the house. He wasn't happy with this. He said that $1M split 3 ways is enough for all 3 kids to get a headstart in life. I disagree, I paid 80% of the mortgage by myself and Camila is my only child. She can have her dream life (working as a hair stylist, living in the Bay Area) with this house but will be unhappy (have to move out to a less desirable area) if it's split. </p>\\n\\n<p>I spoke to Camila about this and she agrees that she should get the house and said she always planned on inheriting it, just like I always planned on giving it to her.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_k9husr\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for saying that my daughter inherits my house \\\"no matter what\\\"?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32841, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k9husr/aita_for_saying_that_my_daughter_inherits_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "f9a4204d0d91d68b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7bfdf968b1929540", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That is YOUR house not his children\u2019s house. Your daughter wants it as her future home he wants it as a potential payout for his kids absolutely NTA", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That is YOUR house not his children\u2019s house. Your daughter wants it as her future home he wants it as a potential payout for his kids absolutely NTA</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1607478921.0, "created_utc": 1607478921.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gf4fzw4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_k9husr", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gf4fzw4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_k9husr", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/k9husr/aita_for_saying_that_my_daughter_inherits_my/gf4fzw4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 19, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 19, "user_reports": []}
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That's that part that grossed me out too. I can understand bring them out during the act. It is fun to get frisky on the couch (though I have only been frisky on my own couches, not ones owned by other ppl...). But ffs, it's not that hard to clean up and put the toy back into private spaces. I don't want anyone not pre-approved to mess with my toys. That's just super gross. OP is a saint for putting up with all this as long as she did. I would not have.
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ihaau8
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0642daf391bb4345
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "North Carolina, USA (specifically mentions being 'in NC' and references Stokesdale near Charlotte)", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has a mother living in rural NC; owns at least one cat (white cat with history of urinary crystals); has experience with narcissistic family members and went no contact"}, "interests": ["Cat ownership and veterinary care (mentions white cat with urinary crystals, discusses vet pricing, offers 'cat tax' photos)", "Knitting, specifically sock knitting (states 'I knit socks' and shares Ravelry profile link)", "Reddit culture and AITA discussions (frequently engages with relationship and family conflict posts)", "Dungeons & Dragons (uses 'spell slots from D&D' analogy to explain spoon theory)", "Food history and traditional recipes (provides link about 'shit on a shingle' and discusses its historical context)", "Psychology and mental health concepts (discusses grey rock method, spoon theory, therapy)", "Pop culture references (mentions Lizzo's 'Truth Hurts', uses internet memes)", "Family dynamics and interpersonal relationships (extensively discusses boundary-setting and toxic relationships)", "Rural vs urban cost differences (particularly regarding veterinary services)", "Legal considerations in personal matters (discusses engagement ring laws by state/country)"], "values": ["Strong advocacy for setting boundaries with toxic family members ('I went completely NC with my narcissist family member')", "Supports grey rock method as effective strategy ('Everything is ok, nothing interesting is going on, work is same old')", "Values honesty and directness over unnecessary deception ('Why make up the lie with the envelope. My kid grabbed this from my purse')", "Believes in personal property rights and autonomy (supports OP keeping their belongings, criticizes controlling behavior)", "Emphasizes accountability alongside mental health awareness ('She shouldn't have accepted the position if calling off sick is too many spoons for her')", "Supports women's reproductive choices and bodily autonomy (defends abortion discussion in family conflict)", "Advocates for practical problem-solving over emotional reactions (suggests checking legal requirements before acting)", "Values animal welfare and responsible pet ownership (discusses extensive veterinary care for cat)", "Believes avoiding conflict is valid when dealing with manipulative people ('avoid method, which is the opposite of bullying')", "Supports calling out weaponized incompetence and unfair relationship dynamics ('Your sister should have burst that bubble with his family a long time ago')"], "communication": ["Uses casual, conversational tone with frequent lowercase and informal contractions ('prolly', 'ffs', 'gonna', 'yiur')", "Employs parenthetical asides for clarification and additional context throughout responses", "Shares personal anecdotes to support arguments ('My cat had urinary crystals and the initial vet ended up charging me around $3k')", "Uses Reddit-specific terminology naturally ('NTA', 'cat tax', profile references)", "Incorporates humor and pop culture references (Lizzo lyrics, D&D mechanics, memes)", "Writes substantive responses ranging from brief agreements to detailed 150-200 word explanations", "Direct communication style, doesn't avoid strong language when expressing disapproval ('That's just super gross')", "Frequently starts with agreement/disagreement markers ('Right?', 'Yeah', 'I agree', 'Oh yeah')", "Provides practical, actionable advice with specific steps or considerations", "Uses hyperlinks to support points and share resources (Ravelry profile, recipe links)", "Employs ellipses for trailing thoughts and casual tone ('But he didn't end up needing it, because...')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 80-100 words, with range from 20 words (brief agreements) to 200+ words (detailed explanations)", "Frequently uses phrases: 'NTA', 'grey rock/grey rocking', 'I agree', 'Right?', 'Yeah'", "Common topics: family dynamics, boundaries, mental health, pet care, practical advice", "Sentence structure varies from short declarative statements to complex multi-clause explanations", "Consistent use of informal contractions and internet slang throughout all responses", "Often includes personal examples or anecdotes (approximately 60% of responses contain personal stories)", "Uses parenthetical clarifications in most longer responses", "Employs rhetorical questions for emphasis ('Like, who goes around and has unprotected sex with your ex's sister?')"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for moving out and taking EVERYTHING\n\nTHROW AWAY for obvious reasons. \n\nUPDATE - in comments :) and cat tax is \nhttp://imgur.com/gallery/HJtx6Jh\n\nBackground. I (30f) lived with a longtime friend (30m). We lived together for 6 years and known each other for 20 years (close families) He was very accepting that I came with a cat, I paid for everything and legally owned her. He adored her though and would spend hours cuddling her. I owned everything, all the furniture and the white goods because I had lived out of home before but he had not.\n\nHe got a GF at the 3.5 year mark and she practically moved in immediately. I still paid half the rent though. She was always very rude to me and clearly didn't want me alone with my friend. There was only one lounge, attached to the kitchen, so he and I would previously watch TV together or just be in the same room while another cooked, worked etc. When she moved in that 'had to stop' because I was interfering with their couple time. Her attitude towards me got worse over time and my friend started treating me badly. They would leave sex toys all over the place, watch movies late and loud when my bedroom was right there, glare at me if I cooked during their couple time even though they hogged the TV between 4-9pm.\n\nI got a bf and started spending a lot of time with him. After this things got worse. My friend began locking my cat in small cages and putting her the shower. He also began talking differently to me and leave the kitchen in a absolute mess (mould) to make it difficult for me to cook. I found used condoms in the lounge. It then got to the stage where we wouldn't talk but all the tormenting was still going on.\n\nI decided to leave and started looking for somewhere else. The lease was up in 4 months but we had not discussed what we wanted to do. I found out through his sister (and a close friend of mine) that they had been saving up this whole time to move out and would be moving in a few weeks'. This was news to me. I couldn't afford the rent by myself.\n\nI found a place before they did, spoke to the estate agent and advised them of the situation - turns out he had not been paying his full share of the rent and she was not listed as living there. The agent did not hold me accountable for any of it. I paid 4 weeks' leave before I left. I didn't tell them when I was leaving and on a day when they were not home my friends helped me pack up and leave. The house was cleaned spotless. I also took all of my furniture, whitegoods and kitchenware - so basically everything but his room! I took my cat.\n\nAfter I left I received hundreds of missed calls and messages from them abusing me for not notifying them and taking everything and MY cat. Most of his family also messaged me telling me what an AH I am. My parents knew what I was doing, supported me but have also called me an AH because our families are still not exactly on speaking terms.", "role": "ThrowAwayDoISuck", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ThrowAwayDoISuck\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7v50babo\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1598485616.0, \"created_utc\": 1598485616.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1598529901.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ihaau8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ihaau8\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1207, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihaau8/aita_for_moving_out_and_taking_everything/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23188, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"THROW AWAY for obvious reasons. \\n\\nUPDATE - in comments :) and cat tax is \\nhttp://imgur.com/gallery/HJtx6Jh\\n\\nBackground. I (30f) lived with a longtime friend (30m). We lived together for 6 years and known each other for 20 years (close families) He was very accepting that I came with a cat, I paid for everything and legally owned her. He adored her though and would spend hours cuddling her. I owned everything, all the furniture and the white goods because I had lived out of home before but he had not.\\n\\nHe got a GF at the 3.5 year mark and she practically moved in immediately. I still paid half the rent though. She was always very rude to me and clearly didn't want me alone with my friend. There was only one lounge, attached to the kitchen, so he and I would previously watch TV together or just be in the same room while another cooked, worked etc. When she moved in that 'had to stop' because I was interfering with their couple time. Her attitude towards me got worse over time and my friend started treating me badly. They would leave sex toys all over the place, watch movies late and loud when my bedroom was right there, glare at me if I cooked during their couple time even though they hogged the TV between 4-9pm.\\n\\nI got a bf and started spending a lot of time with him. After this things got worse. My friend began locking my cat in small cages and putting her the shower. He also began talking differently to me and leave the kitchen in a absolute mess (mould) to make it difficult for me to cook. I found used condoms in the lounge. It then got to the stage where we wouldn't talk but all the tormenting was still going on.\\n\\nI decided to leave and started looking for somewhere else. The lease was up in 4 months but we had not discussed what we wanted to do. I found out through his sister (and a close friend of mine) that they had been saving up this whole time to move out and would be moving in a few weeks'. This was news to me. I couldn't afford the rent by myself.\\n\\nI found a place before they did, spoke to the estate agent and advised them of the situation - turns out he had not been paying his full share of the rent and she was not listed as living there. The agent did not hold me accountable for any of it. I paid 4 weeks' leave before I left. I didn't tell them when I was leaving and on a day when they were not home my friends helped me pack up and leave. The house was cleaned spotless. I also took all of my furniture, whitegoods and kitchenware - so basically everything but his room! I took my cat.\\n\\nAfter I left I received hundreds of missed calls and messages from them abusing me for not notifying them and taking everything and MY cat. Most of his family also messaged me telling me what an AH I am. My parents knew what I was doing, supported me but have also called me an AH because our families are still not exactly on speaking terms.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>THROW AWAY for obvious reasons. </p>\\n\\n<p>UPDATE - in comments :) and cat tax is \\n<a href=\\\"http://imgur.com/gallery/HJtx6Jh\\\">http://imgur.com/gallery/HJtx6Jh</a></p>\\n\\n<p>Background. I (30f) lived with a longtime friend (30m). We lived together for 6 years and known each other for 20 years (close families) He was very accepting that I came with a cat, I paid for everything and legally owned her. He adored her though and would spend hours cuddling her. I owned everything, all the furniture and the white goods because I had lived out of home before but he had not.</p>\\n\\n<p>He got a GF at the 3.5 year mark and she practically moved in immediately. I still paid half the rent though. She was always very rude to me and clearly didn't want me alone with my friend. There was only one lounge, attached to the kitchen, so he and I would previously watch TV together or just be in the same room while another cooked, worked etc. When she moved in that 'had to stop' because I was interfering with their couple time. Her attitude towards me got worse over time and my friend started treating me badly. They would leave sex toys all over the place, watch movies late and loud when my bedroom was right there, glare at me if I cooked during their couple time even though they hogged the TV between 4-9pm.</p>\\n\\n<p>I got a bf and started spending a lot of time with him. After this things got worse. My friend began locking my cat in small cages and putting her the shower. He also began talking differently to me and leave the kitchen in a absolute mess (mould) to make it difficult for me to cook. I found used condoms in the lounge. It then got to the stage where we wouldn't talk but all the tormenting was still going on.</p>\\n\\n<p>I decided to leave and started looking for somewhere else. The lease was up in 4 months but we had not discussed what we wanted to do. I found out through his sister (and a close friend of mine) that they had been saving up this whole time to move out and would be moving in a few weeks'. This was news to me. I couldn't afford the rent by myself.</p>\\n\\n<p>I found a place before they did, spoke to the estate agent and advised them of the situation - turns out he had not been paying his full share of the rent and she was not listed as living there. The agent did not hold me accountable for any of it. I paid 4 weeks' leave before I left. I didn't tell them when I was leaving and on a day when they were not home my friends helped me pack up and leave. The house was cleaned spotless. I also took all of my furniture, whitegoods and kitchenware - so basically everything but his room! I took my cat.</p>\\n\\n<p>After I left I received hundreds of missed calls and messages from them abusing me for not notifying them and taking everything and MY cat. Most of his family also messaged me telling me what an AH I am. My parents knew what I was doing, supported me but have also called me an AH because our families are still not exactly on speaking terms.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ihaau8\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for moving out and taking EVERYTHING\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23188, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihaau8/aita_for_moving_out_and_taking_everything/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. You took your things. It's not your fault he wasn't adult enough to get his own furniture. Also, you just screwed them over before they could screw you over and, frankly, it sounds like they deserved it. I mean sex toys and condoms in common spaces? Fucking gross", "role": "MissBitch25", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"MissBitch25\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [9]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_rnjxc\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. You took your things. It's not your fault he wasn't adult enough to get his own furniture. Also, you just screwed them over before they could screw you over and, frankly, it sounds like they deserved it. I mean sex toys and condoms in common spaces? Fucking gross\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. You took your things. It's not your fault he wasn't adult enough to get his own furniture. Also, you just screwed them over before they could screw you over and, frankly, it sounds like they deserved it. I mean sex toys and condoms in common spaces? Fucking gross</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1598485970.0, \"created_utc\": 1598485970.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g2yutof\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ihaau8\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g2yutof\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ihaau8\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihaau8/aita_for_moving_out_and_taking_everything/g2yutof/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1090, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1090, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Right? I physically \u201ceeewwww\u201dd at this part. I mean, even if you DON\u2019T live with someone else, who does that?", "role": "LilaValentine", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"LilaValentine\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_685bi36o\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": true, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Right? I physically \\u201ceeewwww\\u201dd at this part. I mean, even if you DON\\u2019T live with someone else, who does that?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Right? I physically \\u201ceeewwww\\u201dd at this part. I mean, even if you DON\\u2019T live with someone else, who does that?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1598495059.0, \"created_utc\": 1598495059.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g2zbn85\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ihaau8\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g2zbn85\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g2yutof\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihaau8/aita_for_moving_out_and_taking_everything/g2zbn85/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 309, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 309, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0642daf391bb4345", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "6ebb605b7991a21a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "That's that part that grossed me out too. I can understand bring them out during the act. It is fun to get frisky on the couch (though I have only been frisky on my own couches, not ones owned by other ppl...). But ffs, it's not that hard to clean up and put the toy back into private spaces. I don't want anyone not pre-approved to mess with my toys. That's just super gross. OP is a saint for putting up with all this as long as she did. I would not have.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>That's that part that grossed me out too. I can understand bring them out during the act. It is fun to get frisky on the couch (though I have only been frisky on my own couches, not ones owned by other ppl...). But ffs, it's not that hard to clean up and put the toy back into private spaces. I don't want anyone not pre-approved to mess with my toys. That's just super gross. OP is a saint for putting up with all this as long as she did. I would not have.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1598503707.0, "created_utc": 1598503707.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g2zpn7p", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ihaau8", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g2zpn7p", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g2zbn85", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihaau8/aita_for_moving_out_and_taking_everything/g2zpn7p/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e9d635477896d935", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "52341f256dfa2526", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Also like... Those should be kept in a sanitary place, right? Not beside an empty pizza box..", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Also like... Those should be kept in a sanitary place, right? Not beside an empty pizza box..</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1598541021.0, "created_utc": 1598541021.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g3124b6", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ihaau8", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g3124b6", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g2zpn7p", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihaau8/aita_for_moving_out_and_taking_everything/g3124b6/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 136, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 136, "user_reports": []}
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I suspect dad knew what was up the moment he saw three people and only two drinks. That’s why he asked.
|
v5r6pf
|
868c60cb6f2f8c88
| 1,654,487,373
| 3
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[{"content": "AITA for getting upset and telling my dad his girlfriend didn't buy me a Starbucks drink?\n\nI (17F) have been living with my dad (45M), his girlfriend of 2 years (33F), and her daughter (13F) for a couple of months now while my mom (40F) is visiting my sick grandfather in Sweden. I've only ever stayed at my dad's on weekends so it's been hard getting used to living with his gf and her kid full time. The kid is super whinny and pretty spoiled because gf dotes on her so I usually just stay in my room.\n\nToday gf was taking her daughter on a \"special outing\" because she passed a math test, and my dad suggested I go with them for a \"girls day out\". I wanted to say no but I knew that he wanted me to get to know his gf and gf's daughter better so I agreed. He gave gf $300 to spend during the outing.\n\nWe spent the day going in and out of stores gf's daughter liked in the mall complex. Gf ended up buying her a shit ton of clothes, makeup, and other stuff I don't remember. On our way back home gf stopped at the Starbucks cause daughter wanted a drink and some cakepops. She ordered a drink for her and her daughter and 2 cake pops. I asked her if I could get something and she said she ran out of money and she'd \"get me something next time\". When they got their order I asked if I could have one of the cakepops and gf said that it was her daughter's treat for hard work and it would be wrong for me to take one since \"I didn't do anything that deserved being rewarded\".\n\nI'm not gonna lie, I was pretty upset. When we got back home my dad saw their drinks and asked where mine was. I told him that \"I wasn't allowed to get one cause I don't deserve it\". His gf got upset and said I was twisting her words and the daughter just said I was being greedy and was jealous of her. I know I'm not entitled to a drink or a cakepop but I also don't think it's wrong to be a little annoyed. AITA?", "role": "pottAH__", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"pottAH__\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_o6dq1rgn\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1654477562.0, \"created_utc\": 1654477562.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"v5r6pf\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_v5r6pf\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3035, \"num_crossposts\": 9, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 36235, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I (17F) have been living with my dad (45M), his girlfriend of 2 years (33F), and her daughter (13F) for a couple of months now while my mom (40F) is visiting my sick grandfather in Sweden. I've only ever stayed at my dad's on weekends so it's been hard getting used to living with his gf and her kid full time. The kid is super whinny and pretty spoiled because gf dotes on her so I usually just stay in my room.\\n\\nToday gf was taking her daughter on a \\\"special outing\\\" because she passed a math test, and my dad suggested I go with them for a \\\"girls day out\\\". I wanted to say no but I knew that he wanted me to get to know his gf and gf's daughter better so I agreed. He gave gf $300 to spend during the outing.\\n\\nWe spent the day going in and out of stores gf's daughter liked in the mall complex. Gf ended up buying her a shit ton of clothes, makeup, and other stuff I don't remember. On our way back home gf stopped at the Starbucks cause daughter wanted a drink and some cakepops. She ordered a drink for her and her daughter and 2 cake pops. I asked her if I could get something and she said she ran out of money and she'd \\\"get me something next time\\\". When they got their order I asked if I could have one of the cakepops and gf said that it was her daughter's treat for hard work and it would be wrong for me to take one since \\\"I didn't do anything that deserved being rewarded\\\".\\n\\nI'm not gonna lie, I was pretty upset. When we got back home my dad saw their drinks and asked where mine was. I told him that \\\"I wasn't allowed to get one cause I don't deserve it\\\". His gf got upset and said I was twisting her words and the daughter just said I was being greedy and was jealous of her. I know I'm not entitled to a drink or a cakepop but I also don't think it's wrong to be a little annoyed. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (17F) have been living with my dad (45M), his girlfriend of 2 years (33F), and her daughter (13F) for a couple of months now while my mom (40F) is visiting my sick grandfather in Sweden. I've only ever stayed at my dad's on weekends so it's been hard getting used to living with his gf and her kid full time. The kid is super whinny and pretty spoiled because gf dotes on her so I usually just stay in my room.</p>\\n\\n<p>Today gf was taking her daughter on a "special outing" because she passed a math test, and my dad suggested I go with them for a "girls day out". I wanted to say no but I knew that he wanted me to get to know his gf and gf's daughter better so I agreed. He gave gf $300 to spend during the outing.</p>\\n\\n<p>We spent the day going in and out of stores gf's daughter liked in the mall complex. Gf ended up buying her a shit ton of clothes, makeup, and other stuff I don't remember. On our way back home gf stopped at the Starbucks cause daughter wanted a drink and some cakepops. She ordered a drink for her and her daughter and 2 cake pops. I asked her if I could get something and she said she ran out of money and she'd "get me something next time". When they got their order I asked if I could have one of the cakepops and gf said that it was her daughter's treat for hard work and it would be wrong for me to take one since "I didn't do anything that deserved being rewarded".</p>\\n\\n<p>I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty upset. When we got back home my dad saw their drinks and asked where mine was. I told him that "I wasn't allowed to get one cause I don't deserve it". His gf got upset and said I was twisting her words and the daughter just said I was being greedy and was jealous of her. I know I'm not entitled to a drink or a cakepop but I also don't think it's wrong to be a little annoyed. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049891, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_v5r6pf\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for getting upset and telling my dad his girlfriend didn't buy me a Starbucks drink?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 36235, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "You are definitely NTA. GF was tho.\n\nBut - spill the tea. What was your dad\u2019s reaction to gf\u2019s lame excuses?", "role": "YeeHawMiMaw", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"YeeHawMiMaw\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ab8c0e\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [49]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_ckhm0zvn\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"You are definitely NTA. GF was tho.\\n\\nBut - spill the tea. What was your dad\\u2019s reaction to gf\\u2019s lame excuses?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>You are definitely NTA. GF was tho.</p>\\n\\n<p>But - spill the tea. What was your dad\\u2019s reaction to gf\\u2019s lame excuses?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1654477936.0, \"created_utc\": 1654477936.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ibbecpp\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_v5r6pf\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ibbecpp\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_v5r6pf\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/ibbecpp/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 12008, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 12008, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Dad wants them to get to know each other gives $300 to spend and his kid gets nothing but disrespect. \n\nI need to know! Wow. \n\nCan't imagine a drink and a cake pop would be worth pissing off a sugar daddy. It's not even her money.", "role": "Neither-Entrance-208", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Neither-Entrance-208\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_a27swkj1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Dad wants them to get to know each other gives $300 to spend and his kid gets nothing but disrespect. \\n\\nI need to know! Wow. \\n\\nCan't imagine a drink and a cake pop would be worth pissing off a sugar daddy. It's not even her money.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Dad wants them to get to know each other gives $300 to spend and his kid gets nothing but disrespect. </p>\\n\\n<p>I need to know! Wow. </p>\\n\\n<p>Can't imagine a drink and a cake pop would be worth pissing off a sugar daddy. It's not even her money.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1654478545.0, \"created_utc\": 1654478545.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ibbfkvx\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_v5r6pf\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ibbfkvx\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ibbecpp\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/ibbfkvx/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 338, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 338, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "868c60cb6f2f8c88", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "fbfe10d5c2913207", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I suspect dad knew what was up the moment he saw three people and only two drinks. That\u2019s why he asked.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I suspect dad knew what was up the moment he saw three people and only two drinks. That\u2019s why he asked.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1654487373.0, "created_utc": 1654487373.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ibbvpek", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_v5r6pf", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ibbvpek", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ibbfkvx", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/ibbvpek/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "30ab28729a967f51", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [3]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "be80332c742d1d21", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yeah I was happy he was so observant. That bodes really well although I can\u2019t imagine how someone who would notice that would have a GF that scheming & greedy", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yeah I was happy he was so observant. That bodes really well although I can\u2019t imagine how someone who would notice that would have a GF that scheming & greedy</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1654496875.0, "created_utc": 1654496875.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ibc8gi8", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_v5r6pf", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ibc8gi8", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ibbvpek", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/ibc8gi8/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "413e245463c247cb", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [4]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "ef0118e3a3af4203", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "He would have noticed that OP tends to just stay in her room when she\u2019s staying with him, but didn\u2019t know why OP was uncomfortable. Funding the \u201cgirls\u2019 day out\u201d was potentially him trying to help them bond so OP would feel more comfortable. Instead the gf decided to use it to make OP even less comfortable, and showed OP\u2019s father what was really going on.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>He would have noticed that OP tends to just stay in her room when she\u2019s staying with him, but didn\u2019t know why OP was uncomfortable. Funding the \u201cgirls\u2019 day out\u201d was potentially him trying to help them bond so OP would feel more comfortable. Instead the gf decided to use it to make OP even less comfortable, and showed OP\u2019s father what was really going on.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1654512282.0, "created_utc": 1654512282.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1654512513.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ibcpesg", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_v5r6pf", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ibcpesg", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ibc8gi8", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v5r6pf/aita_for_getting_upset_and_telling_my_dad_his/ibcpesg/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 26, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 26, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 21, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 21, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 67, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 67, "user_reports": []}
|
The kids I've met named Kylo are pretty cool, the kids I've met named Renesmae are usually the kids who parents give them princess themed rooms and have never let them fall over.
|
lmp6fs
|
b68e592778728ccb
| 1,613,665,268
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "18 years old (as of 2021)", "gender": "Female (explicitly stated as pregnant)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Student completing course in June 2021, planning to work in chosen field", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has a stutter affecting pronunciation; lives independently; has parents (mother and stepdad) and absent biological father; 35 weeks pregnant as of February 2021"}, "interests": ["Pop culture and media franchises (references Twilight series, Star Wars, evaluates 'The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner' as 'the only good book in that series')", "Pet ownership and animal care (owns cat named Bella 'older than I am', goldfish named Kanye, mentions one goldfish died)", "Baby names and their social implications (discusses how 'kids named Kylo are pretty cool' vs 'kids named Renesmae' with 'princess themed rooms')", "Child safety and parenting preparation (researches car seat recalls, debates new vs used baby equipment)", "Character analysis in fiction (finds 'Rosalie...the only likeable character besides Bellas dad and maybe Alice' in Twilight)", "Practical considerations of unusual names (notes names that 'fit into those boxes where you put your name, theyre usually limited to 8 letters')"], "values": ["Parental commitment and consistency ('there's going to be none of the in and out bullshit' based on experience with father who 'was in my life when I was convenient')", "Equal partnership in parenting decisions (emphasizes 50/50 childcare split 'no ifs or buts' when partner finishes work)", "Child safety over cost savings (refused recalled car seat and used crib mattress despite partner's preference for cheaper options)", "Ability to communicate with one's own child (wants name she can pronounce: 'I have a stutter and can't even say Renesmae out loud')", "Personal autonomy in major decisions (firmly rejects being pressured by social media posts or parents' opinions)", "Protecting children from negative social consequences (concerned about daughter being 'dunked on' for unusual pop culture name)", "Child being 'very much loved and wanted' despite young age and relationship challenges", "Practical realism about relationships ('we don't necessarily have to be together' but insists on consistent co-parenting)", "Standing firm on boundaries even when parents 'are more fond of him than i am'"], "communication": ["Uses casual, direct language with frequent profanity ('I haven't fucking agreed', 'get the fuck out of my house')", "Employs humor and sarcasm to defuse tension ('Do you think I could get away with calling her renameme around him just to piss him off?')", "Uses emojis for brief acknowledgment (responds with '\ud83e\udd1d' to helpful information)", "Provides detailed contextual explanations when discussing serious topics (lengthy response about parenting plans and contingencies)", "Makes observational comparisons based on personal experience ('kids I've met named Kylo are pretty cool')", "Uses informal contractions and colloquialisms ('theyre usually limited to', 'I realllly like Rosalie')", "Responds with varying length from single words/emojis to multi-paragraph detailed answers", "Shows self-deprecating humor about personal challenges ('I have a name that even I can't pronounce, let alone teachers')", "Directly quotes and responds to specific parts of comments using quoted text format"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 1 word/emoji (minimum: '\ud83e\udd1d') to approximately 150+ words in longest responses", "Average response length approximately 30-50 words", "Frequently uses phrases like 'I have', 'I would', 'I'm not', showing first-person declarative style", "Common words include 'name/named', 'child/daughter', 'he/him' (referring to boyfriend), 'I', 'would'", "Uses ellipsis for extended vowels ('realllly') to convey emphasis", "Employs parenthetical asides frequently to add context or clarification", "Sentence structure varies from short declarative statements to complex compound sentences with multiple clauses", "Uses rhetorical questions for emphasis ('Like damn, 35w and arguing over names and they think im not prepared already?')"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for not letting my boyfriend name our daughter Renesmae?\n\nMy boyfriend and I are both 18, and 35w pregnant with our daughter. Since the day I found out we were having a girl he was hell bent on naming her Renesmae, absolutely refuses to compromise. He's a massive twilight fan, I personally hate it and would much rather that we don't name our baby after a fictional character. \n\nIt kinda hit boiling point last night, for weeks I've been telling him we are coming up with something else becaudr I'm not naming my child that. I went onto Instagram where he had posted a picture of us and said in the caption \"I can't wait to meet you Renesmae.\"\n\nI got really really mad my this. I told him to delete that, or change the caption because I'm not naming our daughter that. He refused, saying his friends knew now so we had to stick with it. I said \"I haven't fucking agreed to naming our daughter after some stupid made up character from the worst books ever fucking made. Delete the post now or get the fuck out of my house\". \n\nHe left to spend the night at a friends and my parents who heard the argument said I should just let him name our daughter that, saying it probably means a lot to him and that I'm being an unreasonable asshole. AITA?\n\nEdit: Feel the need to add, I have a stutter and can't even say Renesmae out loud, I would much rather name my child something I can say.\n\nStop trying to adopt my child. She is very much loved and wanted.", "role": "rideordie2929", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"rideordie2929\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_afpejjhp\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1613661924.0, \"created_utc\": 1613661924.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1613694015.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"lmp6fs\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_lmp6fs\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4404, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27183, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My boyfriend and I are both 18, and 35w pregnant with our daughter. Since the day I found out we were having a girl he was hell bent on naming her Renesmae, absolutely refuses to compromise. He's a massive twilight fan, I personally hate it and would much rather that we don't name our baby after a fictional character. \\n\\nIt kinda hit boiling point last night, for weeks I've been telling him we are coming up with something else becaudr I'm not naming my child that. I went onto Instagram where he had posted a picture of us and said in the caption \\\"I can't wait to meet you Renesmae.\\\"\\n\\nI got really really mad my this. I told him to delete that, or change the caption because I'm not naming our daughter that. He refused, saying his friends knew now so we had to stick with it. I said \\\"I haven't fucking agreed to naming our daughter after some stupid made up character from the worst books ever fucking made. Delete the post now or get the fuck out of my house\\\". \\n\\nHe left to spend the night at a friends and my parents who heard the argument said I should just let him name our daughter that, saying it probably means a lot to him and that I'm being an unreasonable asshole. AITA?\\n\\nEdit: Feel the need to add, I have a stutter and can't even say Renesmae out loud, I would much rather name my child something I can say.\\n\\nStop trying to adopt my child. She is very much loved and wanted.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My boyfriend and I are both 18, and 35w pregnant with our daughter. Since the day I found out we were having a girl he was hell bent on naming her Renesmae, absolutely refuses to compromise. He's a massive twilight fan, I personally hate it and would much rather that we don't name our baby after a fictional character. </p>\\n\\n<p>It kinda hit boiling point last night, for weeks I've been telling him we are coming up with something else becaudr I'm not naming my child that. I went onto Instagram where he had posted a picture of us and said in the caption "I can't wait to meet you Renesmae."</p>\\n\\n<p>I got really really mad my this. I told him to delete that, or change the caption because I'm not naming our daughter that. He refused, saying his friends knew now so we had to stick with it. I said "I haven't fucking agreed to naming our daughter after some stupid made up character from the worst books ever fucking made. Delete the post now or get the fuck out of my house". </p>\\n\\n<p>He left to spend the night at a friends and my parents who heard the argument said I should just let him name our daughter that, saying it probably means a lot to him and that I'm being an unreasonable asshole. AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: Feel the need to add, I have a stutter and can't even say Renesmae out loud, I would much rather name my child something I can say.</p>\\n\\n<p>Stop trying to adopt my child. She is very much loved and wanted.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_lmp6fs\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for not letting my boyfriend name our daughter Renesmae?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27183, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Twilight discourse has ebbed, thank God, but your daughter will cop hell for being a Renesmae, just like all the little Samwises of this world. Also, you both get a say. She's not his daughter. She is the daughter of you both.\n\nRenee is a pretty nice name, though.", "role": "NiceButton7", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NiceButton7\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [7]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3sreo33z\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Twilight discourse has ebbed, thank God, but your daughter will cop hell for being a Renesmae, just like all the little Samwises of this world. Also, you both get a say. She's not his daughter. She is the daughter of you both.\\n\\nRenee is a pretty nice name, though.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Twilight discourse has ebbed, thank God, but your daughter will cop hell for being a Renesmae, just like all the little Samwises of this world. Also, you both get a say. She's not his daughter. She is the daughter of you both.</p>\\n\\n<p>Renee is a pretty nice name, though.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1613662182.0, \"created_utc\": 1613662182.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gnw70up\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_lmp6fs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gnw70up\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_lmp6fs\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnw70up/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4292, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4292, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "NTA. Naming a child a made up name that only exists in a fictional universe is one thing. Choosing a name from a part of pop-culture that *did not hold up well at all* barely a decade later is taking things to a whole new level.\n\nEven the kids named Kylo are going to be dunking on OP\u2019s daughter if she allows this name.", "role": "TogarSucks", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"TogarSucks\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [16]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_58gf5141\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Naming a child a made up name that only exists in a fictional universe is one thing. Choosing a name from a part of pop-culture that *did not hold up well at all* barely a decade later is taking things to a whole new level.\\n\\nEven the kids named Kylo are going to be dunking on OP\\u2019s daughter if she allows this name.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Naming a child a made up name that only exists in a fictional universe is one thing. Choosing a name from a part of pop-culture that <em>did not hold up well at all</em> barely a decade later is taking things to a whole new level.</p>\\n\\n<p>Even the kids named Kylo are going to be dunking on OP\\u2019s daughter if she allows this name.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1613665022.0, \"created_utc\": 1613665022.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gnwdfwn\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_lmp6fs\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gnwdfwn\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gnw70up\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwdfwn/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2353, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2353, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b68e592778728ccb", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "6d1561abadd99ad4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "The kids I've met named Kylo are pretty cool, the kids I've met named Renesmae are usually the kids who parents give them princess themed rooms and have never let them fall over.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>The kids I've met named Kylo are pretty cool, the kids I've met named Renesmae are usually the kids who parents give them princess themed rooms and have never let them fall over.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613665268.0, "created_utc": 1613665268.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwe05q", "is_submitter": true, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwe05q", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwdfwn", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwe05q/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "You... you actually know multiple people that have named kids Kylo or Renesmee?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>You... you actually know multiple people that have named kids Kylo or Renesmee?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613668623.0, "created_utc": 1613668623.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwm0c2", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwm0c2", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwe05q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwm0c2/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "74e783f4b6f42c68", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "369f765fb6132d4b", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I have never in my life met a Renesmee or Renesmae, but maybe it's because I'm in high school and don't really interact with people younger than like 14/15", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I have never in my life met a Renesmee or Renesmae, but maybe it's because I'm in high school and don't really interact with people younger than like 14/15</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613669209.0, "created_utc": 1613669209.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwnjak", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwnjak", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwm0c2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwnjak/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I mean, I'm in my late twenties and have a few friends that are starting to have kids\u2014 they all have normal names like Margaret, Elizabeth, Michael, Thomas, etc. Names like Weston or Porter are about as weird as it gets. The people I know that are big fans of specific books or movies tend to use those unique names for pets, not people. I know people with dogs and cats named after characters from Game of Thrones, Marvel, Harry Potter, etc, but they never use those names for kids.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I mean, I'm in my late twenties and have a few friends that are starting to have kids\u2014 they all have normal names like Margaret, Elizabeth, Michael, Thomas, etc. Names like Weston or Porter are about as weird as it gets. The people I know that are big fans of specific books or movies tend to use those unique names for pets, not people. I know people with dogs and cats named after characters from Game of Thrones, Marvel, Harry Potter, etc, but they never use those names for kids.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613669811.0, "created_utc": 1613669811.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwp2w6", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwp2w6", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwnjak", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwp2w6/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a505beed5ffce9b6", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "cd08c05fb358af41", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I gotta be honest I'm about the same age and it's not a direct name but I know a couple who sincerely named their second daughter LunaNova Saber (dad is a big starwars fan). I get really anxious thinking about what their kids will go through with their crazy names.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I gotta be honest I'm about the same age and it's not a direct name but I know a couple who sincerely named their second daughter LunaNova Saber (dad is a big starwars fan). I get really anxious thinking about what their kids will go through with their crazy names.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613673018.0, "created_utc": 1613673018.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwwz29", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwwz29", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwp2w6", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwwz29/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ca5e822ade020296", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [7]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "af63e3f55c790ae0", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "At least Luna is a nice name that she can shorten it to, but eesh, that\u2019s a bad one.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>At least Luna is a nice name that she can shorten it to, but eesh, that\u2019s a bad one.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613678527.0, "created_utc": 1613678527.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnxae98", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnxae98", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwwz29", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnxae98/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "682f02845c3ecb4c", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "02a5ccd656db6277", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Even Nova is pretty to me, but...LunaNova? And Saber, to boot?? \n \nWhy do parents like this never put themselves in the child's shoes? \n...wait, they probably already do and think that people would tell them their name is awesome...ugh... \n \nI wish there were ways to show people like this what it *could* do to someone's life. \nI mean, my last name is strange but tame(ish) and I was *still* mercilessly picked on for it lol. \n(Think of euphamisms for a penis, come up with the plural form next, and my last name will more than likely be in the list of what you come up with. Just spelled differently.)", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Even Nova is pretty to me, but...LunaNova? And Saber, to boot?? </p>\n\n<p>Why do parents like this never put themselves in the child's shoes?<br/>\n...wait, they probably already do and think that people would tell them their name is awesome...ugh... </p>\n\n<p>I wish there were ways to show people like this what it <em>could</em> do to someone's life.<br/>\nI mean, my last name is strange but tame(ish) and I was <em>still</em> mercilessly picked on for it lol.<br/>\n(Think of euphamisms for a penis, come up with the plural form next, and my last name will more than likely be in the list of what you come up with. Just spelled differently.)</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613690795.0, "created_utc": 1613690795.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 1613696461.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gny222u", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gny222u", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnxae98", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gny222u/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a505beed5ffce9b6", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "cd08c05fb358af41", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yep, it's a narcissistic ass way to treat your kid if you ask me. \n\nAh man, I'm sorry you went through that!! Hell even my mom was teased constantly for her name just because it rhymed with things (gail)", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yep, it's a narcissistic ass way to treat your kid if you ask me. </p>\n\n<p>Ah man, I'm sorry you went through that!! Hell even my mom was teased constantly for her name just because it rhymed with things (gail)</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613692121.0, "created_utc": 1613692121.0, "depth": 9, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gny4q8a", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gny4q8a", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gny222u", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gny4q8a/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 21, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 21, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 123, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 123, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 226, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 226, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "957f2380f1dca982", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c9bb250a1a31ce61", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Because your friends are classy. If my friends named their kids Kylo or Renesmee... I would reconsider the relationship. So tacky.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Because your friends are classy. If my friends named their kids Kylo or Renesmee... I would reconsider the relationship. So tacky.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613674367.0, "created_utc": 1613674367.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx0f8c", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx0f8c", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwp2w6", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx0f8c/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 109, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 109, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Most of my friends ( also late 20s ) have stuck with pretty normal names. Then there's Valkyrie. They call her Val for short but c'mon...", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Most of my friends ( also late 20s ) have stuck with pretty normal names. Then there's Valkyrie. They call her Val for short but c'mon...</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613675720.0, "created_utc": 1613675720.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx3p1u", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx3p1u", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwp2w6", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx3p1u/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oooh, that's pretty bad. A friend of mine's brother is pretty white trash and named his kids after an anime character and a character from a children's book, and that's the worst I've personally seen.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oooh, that's pretty bad. A friend of mine's brother is pretty white trash and named his kids after an anime character and a character from a children's book, and that's the worst I've personally seen.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613676624.0, "created_utc": 1613676624.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx5uyp", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx5uyp", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnx3p1u", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx5uyp/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Other honorary mentions go to Max Danger, Summer Eve, and Anakin Sky Walker. I've worked with people that have weird name ideas.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Other honorary mentions go to Max Danger, Summer Eve, and Anakin Sky Walker. I've worked with people that have weird name ideas.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613676800.0, "created_utc": 1613676800.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx6a8h", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx6a8h", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnx5uyp", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx6a8h/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 10, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 10, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 17, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 17, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "c44e96ca044f2a0e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "78333dfa44e974cb", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My dog is named Thor but my baby sure as hell wouldn't be!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My dog is named Thor but my baby sure as hell wouldn't be!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613676774.0, "created_utc": 1613676774.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx67yv", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx67yv", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwp2w6", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx67yv/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 18, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 18, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0fe5a31adfd3d50b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "78e5a17a1074696c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "She should just get him a female animal and name her that and be like \u201cwe can\u2019t name our pet and our daughter the same thing\u201d\n\nThen post it on Instagram with the caption \u201cGlad to finally meet you Renesmee\u201d", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>She should just get him a female animal and name her that and be like \u201cwe can\u2019t name our pet and our daughter the same thing\u201d</p>\n\n<p>Then post it on Instagram with the caption \u201cGlad to finally meet you Renesmee\u201d</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613686564.0, "created_utc": 1613686564.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnxt2oh", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnxt2oh", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwp2w6", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnxt2oh/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 15, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 15, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 471, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 471, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 610, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 610, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ac8afb95dd19b24e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "fc1fa7c2196e712f", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I'm not sure how to feel about this", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I'm not sure how to feel about this</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613670855.0, "created_utc": 1613670855.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwrlx1", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwrlx1", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwm0c2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwrlx1/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 30, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 30, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "She's dating a guy that is so into this fandom that he's fighting to do this. I can only assume they congregate with like-minded kids.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>She's dating a guy that is so into this fandom that he's fighting to do this. I can only assume they congregate with like-minded kids.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613677069.0, "created_utc": 1613677069.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx6wui", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx6wui", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwm0c2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx6wui/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 14, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 14, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "You gotta think how young OP is. They probably know a Daenarys or two also.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>You gotta think how young OP is. They probably know a Daenarys or two also.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613676546.0, "created_utc": 1613676546.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnx5ny4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnx5ny4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwm0c2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnx5ny4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 13, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 13, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "9768ee3136214437", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7be92dbe5c5baa2d", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "They don't, no one does. This whole post is fake.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>They don't, no one does. This whole post is fake.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613671403.0, "created_utc": 1613671403.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwsx85", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwsx85", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwm0c2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwsx85/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I mean, my assumption is that every post here is, but it's fun to play along.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I mean, my assumption is that every post here is, but it's fun to play along.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613671524.0, "created_utc": 1613671524.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwt83p", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwt83p", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwsx85", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwt83p/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 85, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 85, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 141, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 141, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1944, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1944, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "7ddaa7dc0703a1d0", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "69b35d9bad02ec21", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Also, in the book, everyone except Bella (Renesmee's mother) thinks it's the dumbest name ever.\n\nNames are a two-yes system where if one parent doesn't agree you're not supposed to do it.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Also, in the book, everyone except Bella (Renesmee's mother) thinks it's the dumbest name ever.</p>\n\n<p>Names are a two-yes system where if one parent doesn't agree you're not supposed to do it.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613667786.0, "created_utc": 1613667786.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwjz2l", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwjz2l", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwe05q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwjz2l/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 274, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 274, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b734e2f3bfcebfdd", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [8]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "f1bf8340decdec8c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I agree with the other comments to speak with your doctor and nurses in advance at the hospital( if you\u2019re using one) and tell them not to allow him to sign the birth certificate or give a name without you present. His manipulation I wouldn\u2019t surprise me if he named her behind your back.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I agree with the other comments to speak with your doctor and nurses in advance at the hospital( if you\u2019re using one) and tell them not to allow him to sign the birth certificate or give a name without you present. His manipulation I wouldn\u2019t surprise me if he named her behind your back.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613667168.0, "created_utc": 1613667168.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwigo3", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwigo3", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwe05q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwigo3/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 129, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 129, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e158d1729e40b5bd", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b56dbd68e149e228", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Your boyfriend is going to actively be trying to fill out the birth certificate behind your back. Regardless of the advice you\u2019re getting to \u201cjust tell the nurses,\u201d that\u2019s not always good enough \u2014 those nurses change shifts every few hours and you\u2019re going to be sleeping during some of those shift changes, and there may be times that you\u2019re high as a kite on painkillers and sign anything put in front of you \u2014 that\u2019s how my uncle snuck a name my aunt hated onto my cousin\u2019s birth certificate.\n\nThe only way that you can guarantee that he won\u2019t steamroll over you and saddle your child with a terrible name is to keep him out of the hospital room. Most hospitals are only letting you have one support person anyway due to Covid, just insist that you need your mom in the delivery room with you and don\u2019t allow the father in until the birth certificate is filled out.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Your boyfriend is going to actively be trying to fill out the birth certificate behind your back. Regardless of the advice you\u2019re getting to \u201cjust tell the nurses,\u201d that\u2019s not always good enough \u2014 those nurses change shifts every few hours and you\u2019re going to be sleeping during some of those shift changes, and there may be times that you\u2019re high as a kite on painkillers and sign anything put in front of you \u2014 that\u2019s how my uncle snuck a name my aunt hated onto my cousin\u2019s birth certificate.</p>\n\n<p>The only way that you can guarantee that he won\u2019t steamroll over you and saddle your child with a terrible name is to keep him out of the hospital room. Most hospitals are only letting you have one support person anyway due to Covid, just insist that you need your mom in the delivery room with you and don\u2019t allow the father in until the birth certificate is filled out.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613669709.0, "created_utc": 1613669709.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwotzl", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwotzl", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwe05q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwotzl/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "But if the mom is telling her to just go with the name he wants, having her in the room might not be a good idea either. When I gave birth I was allowed one person in the birthing suite and he wasn't allowed to leave. However after I gave birth and we were moved upstairs I was allowed other visitors. And that's also where they give you the paperwork to fill out. Maybe she needs a friend on her side who could block other people from visiting and trying to file out the forms.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>But if the mom is telling her to just go with the name he wants, having her in the room might not be a good idea either. When I gave birth I was allowed one person in the birthing suite and he wasn't allowed to leave. However after I gave birth and we were moved upstairs I was allowed other visitors. And that's also where they give you the paperwork to fill out. Maybe she needs a friend on her side who could block other people from visiting and trying to file out the forms.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613671746.0, "created_utc": 1613671746.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwtrpb", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwtrpb", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwotzl", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwtrpb/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 111, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 111, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> that\u2019s how my uncle snuck a name my aunt hated onto my cousin\u2019s birth certificate.\n\nYour uncle is weak and uncreative. An uncle of mine (by marriage) was nicknamed Peter his whole life, even though neither his first nor middle legal names were anything close to Peter. But an uncle thought he looked like a Peter, and wouldn't call him anything else, and would give him sweets when he responded to the name, until it was the only name my uncle would respond to.\n\nNeedless to say, the first time my aunt saw his passport (they met on a round-the-world tour), she was very confused to see his real name with \"Also known as Peter\". She thought he was a secret service agent or something.\n\nBut yeah, there are better ways to get a child to respond to a name you think they should have, and illegally messing with important paperwork is not the way to do it.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>that\u2019s how my uncle snuck a name my aunt hated onto my cousin\u2019s birth certificate.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>Your uncle is weak and uncreative. An uncle of mine (by marriage) was nicknamed Peter his whole life, even though neither his first nor middle legal names were anything close to Peter. But an uncle thought he looked like a Peter, and wouldn't call him anything else, and would give him sweets when he responded to the name, until it was the only name my uncle would respond to.</p>\n\n<p>Needless to say, the first time my aunt saw his passport (they met on a round-the-world tour), she was very confused to see his real name with "Also known as Peter". She thought he was a secret service agent or something.</p>\n\n<p>But yeah, there are better ways to get a child to respond to a name you think they should have, and illegally messing with important paperwork is not the way to do it.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613685937.0, "created_utc": 1613685937.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnxrn25", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnxrn25", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwotzl", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnxrn25/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e158d1729e40b5bd", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b56dbd68e149e228", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I have many stronger words than \u201cweak and uncreative\u201d to say about that man, but I\u2019d rather not raise my blood pressure. Suffice it to say he\u2019s not a good guy. Anyone who hangs out on /r/legaladvice long enough will see similar stories pop up though... he\u2019s far from the first or last weasel to pull that trick.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I have many stronger words than \u201cweak and uncreative\u201d to say about that man, but I\u2019d rather not raise my blood pressure. Suffice it to say he\u2019s not a good guy. Anyone who hangs out on <a href=\"/r/legaladvice\">/r/legaladvice</a> long enough will see similar stories pop up though... he\u2019s far from the first or last weasel to pull that trick.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613686481.0, "created_utc": 1613686481.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnxsvzy", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnxsvzy", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnxrn25", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnxsvzy/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I didn't want to cause offence, but yeah. It's a dick move.\n\nBut then I'm a creative person, so calling someone uncreative is a devastating insult, at least from my perspective. :)", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I didn't want to cause offence, but yeah. It's a dick move.</p>\n\n<p>But then I'm a creative person, so calling someone uncreative is a devastating insult, at least from my perspective. :)</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613692542.0, "created_utc": 1613692542.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gny5kks", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gny5kks", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnxsvzy", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gny5kks/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 8, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 8, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 8, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 8, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 14, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 14, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 192, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 192, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "69e6ceb885af051a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "fabf6b6aca5ff678", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "This was suggested on another similar post but why not draw up a list of names that you like, send them to him and say \"pick one from this list\". If he's not willing to compromise or sit down to discuss other options, then this could be a good way to force his hand.\n\nBut still tellthe nurses that he's not allowed to sign the paperwork without you cause tbh I don't trust that he won't try to overrule you when the time comes.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>This was suggested on another similar post but why not draw up a list of names that you like, send them to him and say "pick one from this list". If he's not willing to compromise or sit down to discuss other options, then this could be a good way to force his hand.</p>\n\n<p>But still tellthe nurses that he's not allowed to sign the paperwork without you cause tbh I don't trust that he won't try to overrule you when the time comes.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613672758.0, "created_utc": 1613672758.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gnwwbiz", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_lmp6fs", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gnwwbiz", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gnwe05q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/lmp6fs/aita_for_not_letting_my_boyfriend_name_our/gnwwbiz/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 11, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 11, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1643, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1643, "user_reports": []}
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I was thinking, “when did Baby’s First Thanksgiving” become a thing?
|
ysezdy
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2e27683739a9f143
| 1,668,187,792
| 2
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and moral judgment scenarios", "Family dynamics and boundary-setting in relationships", "Religious hypocrisy and conservative family conflicts", "Marital relationships and spousal accountability", "Workplace dynamics and employment issues", "Healthcare system problems and medical billing disputes", "Parenting and adoption-related family issues", "Social etiquette and personal boundaries in public spaces", "Financial responsibility in relationships", "Standing up against unfair treatment and discrimination", "Chronic behavioral patterns and accountability", "Family acceptance and chosen family dynamics"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability, as shown by supporting consequences for the chronically late friend and the unemployed husband's hypocrisy", "Opposition to religious hypocrisy, stating 'People like your family give Christians and Christianity a bad name. Hypocrites'", "Support for setting firm boundaries, advising 'you should have never let him sit in the first place' regarding the airplane seat situation", "Advocacy for practical solutions over maintaining appearances, suggesting 'Just bake from a box since they won't eat it anyway'", "Belief in financial responsibility, criticizing someone who 'rudely suggested an expensive operation knowing he's not contributing financially'", "Support for protecting children from toxic family members, agreeing 'I wouldn't want a single one of them near my daughter to eventually pollute her mind'", "Appreciation for standing up against systemic unfairness, responding with laughter emojis to the medical bill dispute resolution", "Value of consistency between words and actions, noting the late friend 'had no problem letting OP wait outside for 25 minutes'", "Skepticism toward performative concern, questioning 'when did Baby's First Thanksgiving become a thing?'", "Support for chosen family and non-biological family bonds", "Belief that actions have consequences and people should face them", "Opposition to double standards and preferential treatment"], "communication": ["Uses direct, concise language with responses ranging from 3 words to approximately 50 words", "Frequently employs 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgments as opening statements", "Uses profanity strategically for emphasis, calling people 'What a dick' and 'What a pack of assholes'", "Employs italics for emphasis on key words like '*may*' and '*guaranteed*'", "Incorporates humor and sarcasm, asking rhetorical questions like 'when did Baby's First Thanksgiving become a thing?'", "Uses emoji expressions for comedic effect, responding with '\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude02' to humorous suggestions", "Writes in a supportive tone toward original posters while being critical of antagonists", "Structures responses with short, punchy sentences for maximum impact", "Provides specific evidence from the original post to support judgments, citing exact timeframes and details", "Balances brevity with substantive commentary when warranted", "Uses conversational tone while maintaining clear moral positions", "Employs rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity or hypocrisy in situations"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 25-30 words", "Minimum response length: 3 words (emoji-only response)", "Maximum response length: approximately 50 words", "Most frequent phrase: 'NTA' appears in majority of responses", "Common words include: 'NTA', 'asshole(s)', 'hypocrite(s)', 'rude/rudely'", "Typically uses 1-3 sentences per response with occasional longer commentary", "Employs italics in approximately 30% of responses for emphasis", "Uses profanity in about 40% of responses", "Incorporates humor or sarcasm in approximately 50% of responses", "Response structure varies from single-sentence judgments to multi-sentence explanations with supporting evidence"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for canceling the plans for thanksgiving after my parents called my brother\u2019s baby their \u201cfirst grandchild\u201d?\n\n[update](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayz_12345/comments/yy9a7e/update_on_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)\n\nI (32f) have been with my wife Ava (34f) for 8 years now, but we\u2019ve been married for 5. She was a single mom of three kids when we started dating, she had two daughters (now 10 & 12) and a son (now 16). I\u2019ve watched these kids grow up, I\u2019ve read the bedtime stories, done bath time, the first days of school, pta meetings, all of it. I very much consider them to be my kids, and they\u2019ve been calling me mom for almost 6 years now.\n\nMy brother Ivan (28m) just had a baby girl with his fianc\u00e9 Sara (27f). I love my niece, and my kids adore their cousin. My kids have been the only grandchildren on my side of the family since Ava and I got together, and there\u2019s never been a moment where the kids and my wife were treated like they didn\u2019t belong.\nMy brother is their uncle, my mom and dad are their nana and pop\u2014 the kids see my family as their family and I always thought that my family felt the same way about them.\n\nThe kids and I were over at my brother's house just hanging out, and my parents ended up dropping by with gifts for my niece.\nIvan laughed when he saw the toys and told our mom and dad that they were going to end up spoiling her rotten. My mom said since my niece is their first grandchild of course they have to spoil her.\n\nMy kids were sitting in the living room with all of us and my youngest daughter looked hurt when she realized what my mother said. My son and my 12yo didn\u2019t fully react to it, but I could tell it bothered the both of them too.\n\nSara spoke up and said \u201coh you mean first grandbaby, not first grandchild.\u201d\n\nMy dad shook his head and replied that my niece was their first grandchild. I didn\u2019t want my kids to keep sitting there and listening to that so I handed my son my keys and told him to wait in the car with his sisters. When they were gone, I asked my parents why the hell they\u2019d say that my kids weren\u2019t their grandchildren, and my mom said they couldn\u2019t be their grandchildren because they weren\u2019t really my children.\n\nMy wife and I were going to be hosting thanksgiving at our house this year, but I told my parents that if they didn\u2019t view my kids as their family, then they could just host a meal at their own house with their \u201creal\u201d family while I spent the holiday with mine.\n\nI left before they could say anything else to me, and my wife and I have reiterated to the children that they will always be my kids and I will always be their other mom, regardless of our DNA.\n\nMy brother is pissed at me now because he thinks I reacted too harshly, and that I should try to see where my parents are coming from. My mom texted saying that she and my dad love the kids, but they still aren\u2019t their grandchildren, and she hopes that we can come to understand that because she doesn\u2019t want this to ruin my niece\u2019s first thanksgiving.\n\nI haven\u2019t replied back. I meant what I said, but I\u2019m worried that maybe I\u2019m reacting too harshly.\n\nETA INFO:\n\nI adopted all three of the kids about 4 years ago, so they aren't just my parents \"step grandchildren\". Even if I hadn't legally adopted them, they'd still be my kids in my eyes.\n\nEdit no.2:\n\n- My wife's parents don't have a relationship with the kids. When my wife came out, they pretty much stopped speaking with her entirely.\n- Their bio dad is not involved and neither is his family. He lost his rights to the children before Ava and I started dating. The 10yo has never met him, the 12yo doesn't remember him, and the 16yo wants nothing to do with him.\n- My parents wanted the kids to call them Nana and Pop. I didn't make the kids start calling them that.", "role": "throwawayz_12345", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwawayz_12345\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_u76ws85l\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1668183385.0, \"created_utc\": 1668183385.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1668740304.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ysezdy\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ysezdy\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 5981, \"num_crossposts\": 8, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 31852, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"[update](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayz_12345/comments/yy9a7e/update_on_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)\\n\\nI (32f) have been with my wife Ava (34f) for 8 years now, but we\\u2019ve been married for 5. She was a single mom of three kids when we started dating, she had two daughters (now 10 & 12) and a son (now 16). I\\u2019ve watched these kids grow up, I\\u2019ve read the bedtime stories, done bath time, the first days of school, pta meetings, all of it. I very much consider them to be my kids, and they\\u2019ve been calling me mom for almost 6 years now.\\n\\nMy brother Ivan (28m) just had a baby girl with his fianc\\u00e9 Sara (27f). I love my niece, and my kids adore their cousin. My kids have been the only grandchildren on my side of the family since Ava and I got together, and there\\u2019s never been a moment where the kids and my wife were treated like they didn\\u2019t belong.\\nMy brother is their uncle, my mom and dad are their nana and pop\\u2014 the kids see my family as their family and I always thought that my family felt the same way about them.\\n\\nThe kids and I were over at my brother's house just hanging out, and my parents ended up dropping by with gifts for my niece.\\nIvan laughed when he saw the toys and told our mom and dad that they were going to end up spoiling her rotten. My mom said since my niece is their first grandchild of course they have to spoil her.\\n\\nMy kids were sitting in the living room with all of us and my youngest daughter looked hurt when she realized what my mother said. My son and my 12yo didn\\u2019t fully react to it, but I could tell it bothered the both of them too.\\n\\nSara spoke up and said \\u201coh you mean first grandbaby, not first grandchild.\\u201d\\n\\nMy dad shook his head and replied that my niece was their first grandchild. I didn\\u2019t want my kids to keep sitting there and listening to that so I handed my son my keys and told him to wait in the car with his sisters. When they were gone, I asked my parents why the hell they\\u2019d say that my kids weren\\u2019t their grandchildren, and my mom said they couldn\\u2019t be their grandchildren because they weren\\u2019t really my children.\\n\\nMy wife and I were going to be hosting thanksgiving at our house this year, but I told my parents that if they didn\\u2019t view my kids as their family, then they could just host a meal at their own house with their \\u201creal\\u201d family while I spent the holiday with mine.\\n\\nI left before they could say anything else to me, and my wife and I have reiterated to the children that they will always be my kids and I will always be their other mom, regardless of our DNA.\\n\\nMy brother is pissed at me now because he thinks I reacted too harshly, and that I should try to see where my parents are coming from. My mom texted saying that she and my dad love the kids, but they still aren\\u2019t their grandchildren, and she hopes that we can come to understand that because she doesn\\u2019t want this to ruin my niece\\u2019s first thanksgiving.\\n\\nI haven\\u2019t replied back. I meant what I said, but I\\u2019m worried that maybe I\\u2019m reacting too harshly.\\n\\nETA INFO:\\n\\nI adopted all three of the kids about 4 years ago, so they aren't just my parents \\\"step grandchildren\\\". Even if I hadn't legally adopted them, they'd still be my kids in my eyes.\\n\\nEdit no.2:\\n\\n- My wife's parents don't have a relationship with the kids. When my wife came out, they pretty much stopped speaking with her entirely.\\n- Their bio dad is not involved and neither is his family. He lost his rights to the children before Ava and I started dating. The 10yo has never met him, the 12yo doesn't remember him, and the 16yo wants nothing to do with him.\\n- My parents wanted the kids to call them Nana and Pop. I didn't make the kids start calling them that.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p><a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayz_12345/comments/yy9a7e/update_on_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button\\\">update</a></p>\\n\\n<p>I (32f) have been with my wife Ava (34f) for 8 years now, but we\\u2019ve been married for 5. She was a single mom of three kids when we started dating, she had two daughters (now 10 & 12) and a son (now 16). I\\u2019ve watched these kids grow up, I\\u2019ve read the bedtime stories, done bath time, the first days of school, pta meetings, all of it. I very much consider them to be my kids, and they\\u2019ve been calling me mom for almost 6 years now.</p>\\n\\n<p>My brother Ivan (28m) just had a baby girl with his fianc\\u00e9 Sara (27f). I love my niece, and my kids adore their cousin. My kids have been the only grandchildren on my side of the family since Ava and I got together, and there\\u2019s never been a moment where the kids and my wife were treated like they didn\\u2019t belong.\\nMy brother is their uncle, my mom and dad are their nana and pop\\u2014 the kids see my family as their family and I always thought that my family felt the same way about them.</p>\\n\\n<p>The kids and I were over at my brother's house just hanging out, and my parents ended up dropping by with gifts for my niece.\\nIvan laughed when he saw the toys and told our mom and dad that they were going to end up spoiling her rotten. My mom said since my niece is their first grandchild of course they have to spoil her.</p>\\n\\n<p>My kids were sitting in the living room with all of us and my youngest daughter looked hurt when she realized what my mother said. My son and my 12yo didn\\u2019t fully react to it, but I could tell it bothered the both of them too.</p>\\n\\n<p>Sara spoke up and said \\u201coh you mean first grandbaby, not first grandchild.\\u201d</p>\\n\\n<p>My dad shook his head and replied that my niece was their first grandchild. I didn\\u2019t want my kids to keep sitting there and listening to that so I handed my son my keys and told him to wait in the car with his sisters. When they were gone, I asked my parents why the hell they\\u2019d say that my kids weren\\u2019t their grandchildren, and my mom said they couldn\\u2019t be their grandchildren because they weren\\u2019t really my children.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife and I were going to be hosting thanksgiving at our house this year, but I told my parents that if they didn\\u2019t view my kids as their family, then they could just host a meal at their own house with their \\u201creal\\u201d family while I spent the holiday with mine.</p>\\n\\n<p>I left before they could say anything else to me, and my wife and I have reiterated to the children that they will always be my kids and I will always be their other mom, regardless of our DNA.</p>\\n\\n<p>My brother is pissed at me now because he thinks I reacted too harshly, and that I should try to see where my parents are coming from. My mom texted saying that she and my dad love the kids, but they still aren\\u2019t their grandchildren, and she hopes that we can come to understand that because she doesn\\u2019t want this to ruin my niece\\u2019s first thanksgiving.</p>\\n\\n<p>I haven\\u2019t replied back. I meant what I said, but I\\u2019m worried that maybe I\\u2019m reacting too harshly.</p>\\n\\n<p>ETA INFO:</p>\\n\\n<p>I adopted all three of the kids about 4 years ago, so they aren't just my parents "step grandchildren". Even if I hadn't legally adopted them, they'd still be my kids in my eyes.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit no.2:</p>\\n\\n<ul>\\n<li>My wife's parents don't have a relationship with the kids. When my wife came out, they pretty much stopped speaking with her entirely.</li>\\n<li>Their bio dad is not involved and neither is his family. He lost his rights to the children before Ava and I started dating. The 10yo has never met him, the 12yo doesn't remember him, and the 16yo wants nothing to do with him.</li>\\n<li>My parents wanted the kids to call them Nana and Pop. I didn't make the kids start calling them that.</li>\\n</ul>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ysezdy\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for canceling the plans for thanksgiving after my parents called my brother\\u2019s baby their \\u201cfirst grandchild\\u201d?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 31852, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA, god forbid they ruin thanksgiving for the newborn who would definitely rather not go and can't eat any of the food \ud83d\ude02", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA, god forbid they ruin thanksgiving for the newborn who would definitely rather not go and can't eat any of the food \\ud83d\\ude02\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA, god forbid they ruin thanksgiving for the newborn who would definitely rather not go and can't eat any of the food \\ud83d\\ude02</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1668184533.0, \"created_utc\": 1668184533.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ivypwxc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ysezdy\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_ivypwxc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ysezdy\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/ivypwxc/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4181, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4181, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "2e27683739a9f143", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5efc61525aa69d2d", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I was thinking, \u201cwhen did Baby\u2019s First Thanksgiving\u201d become a thing?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I was thinking, \u201cwhen did Baby\u2019s First Thanksgiving\u201d become a thing?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1668187792.0, "created_utc": 1668187792.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ivyy4u4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ysezdy", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ivyy4u4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ivypwxc", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/ivyy4u4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "06d3dc94aa7f064d", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e33b3bccd8fceba7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It's the same as Baby's First Christmas and Baby's First Birthday. It's purely for the parents and other family. Baby does not care and is not really capable of \"appreciating\" it.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It's the same as Baby's First Christmas and Baby's First Birthday. It's purely for the parents and other family. Baby does not care and is not really capable of "appreciating" it.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1668188779.0, "created_utc": 1668188779.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ivz0mso", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ysezdy", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ivz0mso", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ivyy4u4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/ivz0mso/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "afd01e1dc2527e8b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "221c808eb4edec8c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I get those slightly more, because hey, prezents! Baby can at least destroy some wrapping paper for fun. As far as I know (and I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I'm Polish) there is no child specific or even child friendly aspect to Thanksgiving, is there?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I get those slightly more, because hey, prezents! Baby can at least destroy some wrapping paper for fun. As far as I know (and I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I'm Polish) there is no child specific or even child friendly aspect to Thanksgiving, is there?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1668189325.0, "created_utc": 1668189325.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ivz20qc", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ysezdy", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ivz20qc", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ivz0mso", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/ivz20qc/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "06d3dc94aa7f064d", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e33b3bccd8fceba7", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "No, there definitely isn't. Thanksgiving is all about the food, really. (And for some, things like watching football.) \n\nEven with the presents -- an infant won't \\*remember\\* destroying that stuff, or know why the adults think it's special that they are destroying some wrapping paper on this specific day, as opposed to destroying some wrapping paper on any other day. It's still just for the parents/ other family.\n\nWhich is fine! Just be honest with yourselves about it. It's not \"for\" the baby.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>No, there definitely isn't. Thanksgiving is all about the food, really. (And for some, things like watching football.) </p>\n\n<p>Even with the presents -- an infant won't *remember* destroying that stuff, or know why the adults think it's special that they are destroying some wrapping paper on this specific day, as opposed to destroying some wrapping paper on any other day. It's still just for the parents/ other family.</p>\n\n<p>Which is fine! Just be honest with yourselves about it. It's not "for" the baby.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1668190605.0, "created_utc": 1668190605.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ivz5790", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ysezdy", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ivz5790", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ivz20qc", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ysezdy/aita_for_canceling_the_plans_for_thanksgiving/ivz5790/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 51, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 51, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 204, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 204, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 648, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 648, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1356, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1356, "user_reports": []}
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U guys are so cute T_T stop it. Thank you for taking these two in, regardless of having the availability or not, im glad they have supportive older siblings.
Also, Kalani is a beautiful name! (Im gonna add that to my baby list)
It made me tear up a lil seeing how OP was amazed by all the normal loving things present in your house. It's incredible how different things can be on the other road/side of the crossroads. And i am so glad OP chose this road.
Have the best family meals! Enjoy the experiences of co-parenting! This story has made my day!
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{"demographics": {"age group": "Mid-to-late 20s or early 30s", "gender": "Likely female", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Planning to get married and have children soon; has experienced religious discrimination in family (grandparents didn't like mother due to different religion); has a brother"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and intergenerational relationships, particularly toxic family patterns", "Parenting styles and child protection from harmful influences", "Wedding etiquette and relationship boundaries", "Consequences and accountability for bad behavior", "Stories involving infidelity and betrayal in relationships", "Toxic in-laws and extended family conflicts", "Children's wellbeing and emotional safety", "Justice and standing up against manipulation", "Healthy vs. unhealthy family relationships", "Boundary-setting in family contexts", "Reddit AITA community discussions and judgments", "Personal growth and breaking generational cycles"], "values": ["Strong belief in protecting children from toxic family members, stating 'Please do not ever ever ever let her near your child'", "Emphasis on accountability and consequences, writing 'eventually she'll get what her actions have COST her'", "Zero tolerance for entitlement and manipulation, particularly from in-laws or extended family", "Belief that coming out or personal struggles don't excuse treating others poorly: 'Coming out DOES NOT give anyone to right to treat others like trash'", "Values healthy parenting and is moved by displays of good parenting, expressing emotion with 'U guys are so cute T_T stop it'", "Believes in firm boundaries and not enabling bad behavior, advising 'Kick em out'", "Supports breaking toxic generational patterns: 'I wont let the mistakes of the older generation affect my own'", "Values grace and fairness, suggesting 'A little hand of grace, though unfair will do good'", "Believes children are perceptive and shouldn't be underestimated: 'Kids arent as stupid as we may think'", "Strong stance against people who take advantage of others' generosity or kindness", "Values blood family relationships but not at the expense of enabling abuse", "Believes actions should be judged by their impact on others, especially vulnerable parties like children"], "communication": ["Uses emoticons and internet slang like 'T_T', 'lol', and casual abbreviations", "Employs emphatic capitalization for emphasis: 'COST', 'REALLY', 'NO', 'MORE THAN ENOUGH'", "Frequently uses exclamation marks to convey strong emotions and emphasis", "Shares personal anecdotes to support arguments: 'My grandma from my dads side treated us poorly because she didnt like my mother'", "Provides direct, actionable advice with imperative statements: 'Run!', 'Kick em out', 'Tell them to move out'", "Uses rhetorical questions to make points: 'how does an in law think they can do that?'", "Writes in conversational, emotionally engaged tone with empathy and support", "Varies between short, punchy statements and longer explanatory paragraphs", "Often addresses the original poster directly with 'you' and 'your'", "Uses informal grammar and occasional typos, prioritizing conversational flow over formal correctness", "Employs phrases like 'Agreeed!' and 'Goooooood move' with extended letters for emphasis", "Balances empathy with firm boundary-setting advice"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 80-120 words", "Minimum response length: around 15 words ('Almost like.. A COUPLE')", "Maximum response length: approximately 200 words (in the apartment/brother response)", "Frequently uses phrases: 'NTA', 'toxic', 'Run!', 'Kick em out', variations of 'she'll get what her actions have cost'", "Common words: 'kids', 'children', 'family', 'toxic', 'mother', 'grandma/grandparents'", "Uses exclamation marks in nearly every response, often multiple times", "Frequently employs capitalization for emphasis (2-3 times per longer response)", "Tends to structure responses with initial judgment/reaction followed by explanation or personal anecdote", "Uses informal punctuation and internet communication style consistently", "Often includes direct quotes from the context to reference specific problematic behaviors"]}
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[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?\n\n[Original post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grza29/aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents_homeless/)\n\nHey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.\n\nThey do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that. My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.\n\nWhen I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.\n\nIn the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.\n\nAnyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life. If anyone knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and their new-fangled video games already confuse me.\n\nThis is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.\n\n\n\nEdit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy. \n\nKalani. How many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person? Every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and Cam, you say that if you didn't help us out, it would have been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self esteem (as evidenced by your AITA post) but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and move on so I can finally thank you?\n\nEdit #2: I have enough advice on Titanfall, thank you guys. I didn't realize it had such a big community. I now know how to beat every single campaign boss plus why I should definitely use a Scorch in the last boss battle. Thanks.", "role": "maybedontkillthem", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"maybedontkillthem\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6ljedz18\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1592795687.0, \"created_utc\": 1592795687.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1592817705.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hdk7i3\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hdk7i3\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 675, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28064, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"[Original post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grza29/aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents_homeless/)\\n\\nHey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.\\n\\nThey do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that. My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.\\n\\nWhen I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.\\n\\nIn the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.\\n\\nAnyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life. If anyone knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and their new-fangled video games already confuse me.\\n\\nThis is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.\\n\\n\\n\\nEdit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy. \\n\\nKalani. How many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person? Every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and Cam, you say that if you didn't help us out, it would have been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self esteem (as evidenced by your AITA post) but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and move on so I can finally thank you?\\n\\nEdit #2: I have enough advice on Titanfall, thank you guys. I didn't realize it had such a big community. I now know how to beat every single campaign boss plus why I should definitely use a Scorch in the last boss battle. Thanks.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p><a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grza29/aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents_homeless/\\\">Original post here</a></p>\\n\\n<p>Hey folks! It's been like three weeks and many, many things have happened. I graduated high school (go me!), I turned 18, and I moved out! I finally feel like I'm adulting, kind of. I moved in with my sister the day after my birthday, and I've been living with her for a bit over two weeks. It's been really weird.</p>\\n\\n<p>They do all of this stuff in her house that we never did as kids. Family dinners every night? Never done it once until now. My sister and her fiance carve out blocks of time to spend with the kids! My parents never did that. My oldest nephew (he's 10) dropped an open can of pineapple in the kitchen a few days ago. I expected him to get yelled at, but my sister just helped him clean it up and told him to grab a new can from the pantry. That was weird. My parents were never that chill.</p>\\n\\n<p>When I was a kid I would see these perfect families on TV, (shoutout to dinosaur train lmao) and my parents always told me that those kinds of parents didn't exist. That it was all made up for TV. That real parents don't take that much of an interest in their kid's lives and interests. I believed them until now.</p>\\n\\n<p>In the past few weeks, I've seen my sister and her fiance spend hours making model planes with my oldest nephew, or rocking the youngest to sleep when she was overtired. That stuff never happened when I was a kid. My niece (she's 4) woke up in the middle of the night last week, crying about something. Instead of telling her to stfu and go to bed, my sister's fiance got up and sat with her until she fell asleep. I guess I was just surprised that my experiences aren't the norm.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, both my brother and I are doing really well here. My brother has been cooking a lot (he's going to culinary school), and everyone seems to really appreciate it. I've been spending time with my nieces and nephew and I have played more Minecraft these past two weeks than I think I've played in my entire life. If anyone knows what Titanfall 2 is, please help me out. I've been an adult for less than a month and these children and their new-fangled video games already confuse me.</p>\\n\\n<p>This is all just a very long winded way to say thanks. If I hadn't posted here, I don't think I would have moved out. My savings would basically be drained, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So thank you. Now I guess it's time to see if I can figure out how to do an update post.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: Shoutout to my sister for basically raising me for twelve years and also being an amazing parent. I could just go and say all this to her face but there's so many stairs in this house and I'm lazy. </p>\\n\\n<p>Kalani. How many times am I going to have to say it before you accept that you're a good person? Every time I go to thank you for giving up space in your house for me and Cam, you say that if you didn't help us out, it would have been someone else. I get that you have strangely low self esteem (as evidenced by your AITA post) but can you just accept that you're an unbelievably good person and move on so I can finally thank you?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit #2: I have enough advice on Titanfall, thank you guys. I didn't realize it had such a big community. I now know how to beat every single campaign boss plus why I should definitely use a Scorch in the last boss battle. Thanks.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hdk7i3\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for possibly making my parents homeless?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28064, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "so you can't come downstairs to compliment me, but you can come downstairs to tell me to go upstairs to get my phone and then come back downstairs so you can see my reaction to you complimenting me? I see how it is.\n\nhonestly I'm just happy you're here. I told you before, me and Michael and Daniel have been waiting so long to move you guys out of that house. I'm just the one who has the available rooms. If Michael wasn't overseas it would have been him. If Daniel had another room it would have been him. \n\nbut anyway, love you both. It's been really nice to have some extra hands around the house, especially with Cam and his cooking. I see why he's going culinary school. \n\nThe kids love you, Ethan thinks you guys are great, even Aris likes you and that's pretty darn rare. \n\nKeep being the person you are and I think this arrangement is going to work out fantastic.\n\nEdit: okay everyone just come over and we can have pie and hot chocolate. love you all and remember, who your family is doesn't define you.", "role": "spicyasabaguette", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"spicyasabaguette\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6agfwnxd\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"so you can't come downstairs to compliment me, but you can come downstairs to tell me to go upstairs to get my phone and then come back downstairs so you can see my reaction to you complimenting me? I see how it is.\\n\\nhonestly I'm just happy you're here. I told you before, me and Michael and Daniel have been waiting so long to move you guys out of that house. I'm just the one who has the available rooms. If Michael wasn't overseas it would have been him. If Daniel had another room it would have been him. \\n\\nbut anyway, love you both. It's been really nice to have some extra hands around the house, especially with Cam and his cooking. I see why he's going culinary school. \\n\\nThe kids love you, Ethan thinks you guys are great, even Aris likes you and that's pretty darn rare. \\n\\nKeep being the person you are and I think this arrangement is going to work out fantastic.\\n\\nEdit: okay everyone just come over and we can have pie and hot chocolate. love you all and remember, who your family is doesn't define you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>so you can't come downstairs to compliment me, but you can come downstairs to tell me to go upstairs to get my phone and then come back downstairs so you can see my reaction to you complimenting me? I see how it is.</p>\\n\\n<p>honestly I'm just happy you're here. I told you before, me and Michael and Daniel have been waiting so long to move you guys out of that house. I'm just the one who has the available rooms. If Michael wasn't overseas it would have been him. If Daniel had another room it would have been him. </p>\\n\\n<p>but anyway, love you both. It's been really nice to have some extra hands around the house, especially with Cam and his cooking. I see why he's going culinary school. </p>\\n\\n<p>The kids love you, Ethan thinks you guys are great, even Aris likes you and that's pretty darn rare. </p>\\n\\n<p>Keep being the person you are and I think this arrangement is going to work out fantastic.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: okay everyone just come over and we can have pie and hot chocolate. love you all and remember, who your family is doesn't define you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1592797867.0, \"created_utc\": 1592797867.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1592804782.0, \"gilded\": 10, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fvlr7db\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hdk7i3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fvlr7db\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_hdk7i3\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/fvlr7db/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 34467, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 34467, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b461aee7a613beff", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "ae7d82f6ad30d5ec", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "U guys are so cute T_T stop it. Thank you for taking these two in, regardless of having the availability or not, im glad they have supportive older siblings. \n\nAlso, Kalani is a beautiful name! (Im gonna add that to my baby list) \n\nIt made me tear up a lil seeing how OP was amazed by all the normal loving things present in your house. It's incredible how different things can be on the other road/side of the crossroads. And i am so glad OP chose this road. \n\nHave the best family meals! Enjoy the experiences of co-parenting! This story has made my day!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>U guys are so cute T_T stop it. Thank you for taking these two in, regardless of having the availability or not, im glad they have supportive older siblings. </p>\n\n<p>Also, Kalani is a beautiful name! (Im gonna add that to my baby list) </p>\n\n<p>It made me tear up a lil seeing how OP was amazed by all the normal loving things present in your house. It's incredible how different things can be on the other road/side of the crossroads. And i am so glad OP chose this road. </p>\n\n<p>Have the best family meals! Enjoy the experiences of co-parenting! This story has made my day!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1592821586.0, "created_utc": 1592821586.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fvmhudm", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hdk7i3", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fvmhudm", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fvlr7db", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hdk7i3/update_aita_for_possibly_making_my_parents/fvmhudm/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}
|
Yep! It’s a term of jealousy. Where the people using it are (in their minds) punching up.
|
j6qi9b
|
d12e5a7b5333e3d7
| 1,602,090,798
| 6
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has lived in or spent time in the UK ('once I'd lived in the UK'); familiar with Canadian geography"}, "interests": ["Gender equality and feminist issues, particularly analyzing misogyny in modern discourse", "Social justice and anti-racism, advocating to 'Call them a racist, flat out'", "Linguistic and rhetorical analysis, examining how language is used as 'a trick of rhetoric'", "Cultural differences and international perspectives, referencing UK experiences", "Canadian geography and unusual place names like 'Dildo,' 'Blow-Me-Down,' and 'Saint-Louis-Du-Ha!-Ha!'", "Power dynamics in social interactions and how terms are used for 'punching up'", "The intersection of race and gender in social phenomena", "Practical problem-solving in interpersonal situations"], "values": ["Strong opposition to misogyny, viewing 'Karen' as 'a tool to keep uppity women in line'", "Believes women should not be silenced when addressing 'actual problems'", "Values direct communication about racism: 'Call them a racist, flat out'", "Recognizes intersectionality, noting the 'Venn diagram' between white privilege and the Karen stereotype", "Empathetic toward those affected by social phenomena, showing compassion to someone named Karen", "Critical of rhetorical manipulation used to deflect from legitimate concerns", "Supports women's right to advocate for themselves without being dismissed", "Values nuanced analysis over simplistic categorizations, examining how terms evolve and are misused", "Believes in acknowledging when solutions are inadequate: 'I know this is a crappy answer'", "Appreciates humor and levity, responding positively to 'I love that sign! Lean into the power!'"], "communication": ["Uses emphatic agreement markers frequently: 'Yep!' appears in multiple responses", "Employs analytical language to break down social phenomena and rhetorical strategies", "Combines casual and academic tones, mixing 'Man, that sucks' with sophisticated analysis", "Uses direct quotes from their own previous statements to emphasize points", "Demonstrates self-awareness about limitations: 'I know this is a crappy answer'", "Engages with others empathetically: 'I'm sorry' and 'I totally get you!'", "Makes cultural references and comparisons to illustrate points", "Uses exclamation points for emphasis and enthusiasm", "Provides concrete examples and evidence to support arguments", "Writes in a conversational yet substantive style, balancing brevity with depth"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-60 words, with range from 5 words ('I totally get you!') to 100+ words", "Frequently uses 'Yep!' as an opening agreement marker (appears in at least 3 responses)", "Common phrases include 'This!' and variations of agreement before elaborating", "Uses exclamation points regularly for emphasis and enthusiasm", "Employs rhetorical questions occasionally to make points", "Sentence structure varies from short emphatic statements to longer analytical sentences", "Uses parenthetical asides to add nuance: '(in their minds)' and '(especially women)'", "Frequently quotes or references specific parts of others' comments in responses"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for flipping out on my sons school after they lied to him about donation prizes?\n\nI will try not keep this short with just points rather than description. If INFO is needed, please ask.\n\nSon is in 4th grade. School is only open on Mondays. The rest of the week he is home with me. They dont do virtual learning during the rest of the week. No zoom calls are made. No teacher actually checks in. Homework at home is not to be sent back to the school and instead they get a participation grade the following week if they tell their teacher they completed it. Its backwards and your students arent being graded for the work they actually do.\n\nEvery monday we get a new flier in the mail asking for donations. Last week we got a flier that said to send out 20 emails to individuals to ask them for donations, with the promise of prizes for participation. They also had other prizes on this flier. Basically, the more people who donate using your name, the bigger the prize you get. \n\nMy son wanted the headphones prize. No where on the flier did it say how many donations was needed. I called the school to ask and they said 12. I sent out the 20 emails. 14 people donated. The donation list was to be emailed to the school with the student ID and we were to pick up the prizes this past Monday. Son was losing his mind excited because he got the 12 donations needed for the headphones. \n\nWe walk in and they proceed to tell me and my son that he did not qualify for the prize because in order to be eligible, you needed to get those 20 donations. Apparently the prizes for donations started counting AFTER you recieved the 20. They turned damn near every student away, not just my kid.\n\nSo I sent the boy out with his father and pulled the teacher and principle aside to let them know that I thought it was fucked up that they got these kids hopes up for absolutely nothing and that all they accomplished was destroying the children's spirits by lying to their faces. I then told them that I was told by the secretary that he only needed 12 donations for those headphones. \n\nThey said \"Sorry you feel that way. This is just how things are right now due to Covid.\" So I responded with \"Oh. So lying to students and breaking their spirits is okay because of Covid? Failing to provide virtual learning for the rest of the week like other schools is okay because of Covid? Asking for donations when the kids are only here once a week must be okay too right?\" I then walked out. \n\nWell, my son got the headphones in the mail today with a note from the superintendent that said \"I'm very sorry for the actions of the school system and the confusion formed around the donation drive. We are trying to work with the families, not turn them away. Please accept this as an apology.\" \n\nMy son is over the moon. My husband says that I was being a Karen and that we should have just dropped it because it teaches our son that life isnt fair and that I now look like an AH helicopter parent.\n\nAITA? I dont think I am.", "role": "anonwah", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"anonwah\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8dpbnh7o\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1602076135.0, \"created_utc\": 1602076135.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"j6qi9b\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2022, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27075, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I will try not keep this short with just points rather than description. If INFO is needed, please ask.\\n\\nSon is in 4th grade. School is only open on Mondays. The rest of the week he is home with me. They dont do virtual learning during the rest of the week. No zoom calls are made. No teacher actually checks in. Homework at home is not to be sent back to the school and instead they get a participation grade the following week if they tell their teacher they completed it. Its backwards and your students arent being graded for the work they actually do.\\n\\nEvery monday we get a new flier in the mail asking for donations. Last week we got a flier that said to send out 20 emails to individuals to ask them for donations, with the promise of prizes for participation. They also had other prizes on this flier. Basically, the more people who donate using your name, the bigger the prize you get. \\n\\nMy son wanted the headphones prize. No where on the flier did it say how many donations was needed. I called the school to ask and they said 12. I sent out the 20 emails. 14 people donated. The donation list was to be emailed to the school with the student ID and we were to pick up the prizes this past Monday. Son was losing his mind excited because he got the 12 donations needed for the headphones. \\n\\nWe walk in and they proceed to tell me and my son that he did not qualify for the prize because in order to be eligible, you needed to get those 20 donations. Apparently the prizes for donations started counting AFTER you recieved the 20. They turned damn near every student away, not just my kid.\\n\\nSo I sent the boy out with his father and pulled the teacher and principle aside to let them know that I thought it was fucked up that they got these kids hopes up for absolutely nothing and that all they accomplished was destroying the children's spirits by lying to their faces. I then told them that I was told by the secretary that he only needed 12 donations for those headphones. \\n\\nThey said \\\"Sorry you feel that way. This is just how things are right now due to Covid.\\\" So I responded with \\\"Oh. So lying to students and breaking their spirits is okay because of Covid? Failing to provide virtual learning for the rest of the week like other schools is okay because of Covid? Asking for donations when the kids are only here once a week must be okay too right?\\\" I then walked out. \\n\\nWell, my son got the headphones in the mail today with a note from the superintendent that said \\\"I'm very sorry for the actions of the school system and the confusion formed around the donation drive. We are trying to work with the families, not turn them away. Please accept this as an apology.\\\" \\n\\nMy son is over the moon. My husband says that I was being a Karen and that we should have just dropped it because it teaches our son that life isnt fair and that I now look like an AH helicopter parent.\\n\\nAITA? I dont think I am.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I will try not keep this short with just points rather than description. If INFO is needed, please ask.</p>\\n\\n<p>Son is in 4th grade. School is only open on Mondays. The rest of the week he is home with me. They dont do virtual learning during the rest of the week. No zoom calls are made. No teacher actually checks in. Homework at home is not to be sent back to the school and instead they get a participation grade the following week if they tell their teacher they completed it. Its backwards and your students arent being graded for the work they actually do.</p>\\n\\n<p>Every monday we get a new flier in the mail asking for donations. Last week we got a flier that said to send out 20 emails to individuals to ask them for donations, with the promise of prizes for participation. They also had other prizes on this flier. Basically, the more people who donate using your name, the bigger the prize you get. </p>\\n\\n<p>My son wanted the headphones prize. No where on the flier did it say how many donations was needed. I called the school to ask and they said 12. I sent out the 20 emails. 14 people donated. The donation list was to be emailed to the school with the student ID and we were to pick up the prizes this past Monday. Son was losing his mind excited because he got the 12 donations needed for the headphones. </p>\\n\\n<p>We walk in and they proceed to tell me and my son that he did not qualify for the prize because in order to be eligible, you needed to get those 20 donations. Apparently the prizes for donations started counting AFTER you recieved the 20. They turned damn near every student away, not just my kid.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I sent the boy out with his father and pulled the teacher and principle aside to let them know that I thought it was fucked up that they got these kids hopes up for absolutely nothing and that all they accomplished was destroying the children's spirits by lying to their faces. I then told them that I was told by the secretary that he only needed 12 donations for those headphones. </p>\\n\\n<p>They said "Sorry you feel that way. This is just how things are right now due to Covid." So I responded with "Oh. So lying to students and breaking their spirits is okay because of Covid? Failing to provide virtual learning for the rest of the week like other schools is okay because of Covid? Asking for donations when the kids are only here once a week must be okay too right?" I then walked out. </p>\\n\\n<p>Well, my son got the headphones in the mail today with a note from the superintendent that said "I'm very sorry for the actions of the school system and the confusion formed around the donation drive. We are trying to work with the families, not turn them away. Please accept this as an apology." </p>\\n\\n<p>My son is over the moon. My husband says that I was being a Karen and that we should have just dropped it because it teaches our son that life isnt fair and that I now look like an AH helicopter parent.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA? I dont think I am.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for flipping out on my sons school after they lied to him about donation prizes?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27075, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. Being a Karen is when you make an overly dramatic scene over something that either doesn\u2019t matter or isn\u2019t actually an issue. You made a point to pull the principal aside and not make a public scene to make a legitimate point.", "role": "bamf1701", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"bamf1701\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#eeb800\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"edf63c82-a710-11e9-959b-0eb47b028ff2\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Craptain [184]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3oh42knr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. Being a Karen is when you make an overly dramatic scene over something that either doesn\\u2019t matter or isn\\u2019t actually an issue. You made a point to pull the principal aside and not make a public scene to make a legitimate point.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. Being a Karen is when you make an overly dramatic scene over something that either doesn\\u2019t matter or isn\\u2019t actually an issue. You made a point to pull the principal aside and not make a public scene to make a legitimate point.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1602076343.0, \"created_utc\": 1602076343.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g7zz18k\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g7zz18k\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/g7zz18k/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 30510, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 30510, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Right?! OPs husband is being pretty disrespectful if every time she steps up for what is right she gets called a Karen. Who says that to their wife anyway?", "role": "cheeseburgerwaffles", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"cheeseburgerwaffles\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gcho2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Right?! OPs husband is being pretty disrespectful if every time she steps up for what is right she gets called a Karen. Who says that to their wife anyway?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Right?! OPs husband is being pretty disrespectful if every time she steps up for what is right she gets called a Karen. Who says that to their wife anyway?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1602081107.0, \"created_utc\": 1602081107.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g807n9e\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g807n9e\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g7zz18k\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/g807n9e/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 16270, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 16270, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yep! This is the thing I don\u2019t like about Karen being a thing. It\u2019s now a way to browbeat people (especially women) away from causing a stink about actual problems. It\u2019s kind of misogynistic and a tool to keep \u201cuppity women\u201d in line.", "role": "plantsandribbons", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"plantsandribbons\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [10]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_48olwvtg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yep! This is the thing I don\\u2019t like about Karen being a thing. It\\u2019s now a way to browbeat people (especially women) away from causing a stink about actual problems. It\\u2019s kind of misogynistic and a tool to keep \\u201cuppity women\\u201d in line.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yep! This is the thing I don\\u2019t like about Karen being a thing. It\\u2019s now a way to browbeat people (especially women) away from causing a stink about actual problems. It\\u2019s kind of misogynistic and a tool to keep \\u201cuppity women\\u201d in line.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1602082158.0, \"created_utc\": 1602082158.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g809n8d\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g809n8d\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g807n9e\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/g809n8d/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 8877, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 8877, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I didnt used to feel it was super misogynistic, even though it was clearly directed only at women that act this way. I get that \"Chad\" was used for douchebag guys too. But now Karen is seemingly used for any woman that complains about anything.", "role": "cheeseburgerwaffles", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"cheeseburgerwaffles\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_gcho2\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I didnt used to feel it was super misogynistic, even though it was clearly directed only at women that act this way. I get that \\\"Chad\\\" was used for douchebag guys too. But now Karen is seemingly used for any woman that complains about anything.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I didnt used to feel it was super misogynistic, even though it was clearly directed only at women that act this way. I get that "Chad" was used for douchebag guys too. But now Karen is seemingly used for any woman that complains about anything.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1602086253.0, \"created_utc\": 1602086253.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g80ht8j\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_j6qi9b\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g80ht8j\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g809n8d\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/g80ht8j/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 70, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 70, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Chad are attractive men who are not very smart, have good jobs, and get a lot of dates.", "role": "MotheringGoose", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"MotheringGoose\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_10stgp\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Chad are attractive men who are not very smart, have good jobs, and get a lot of dates.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Chad are attractive men who are not very smart, have good jobs, and get a lot of dates.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, 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null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g80mm87\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_g80ht8j\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/g80mm87/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 57, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 57, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "d12e5a7b5333e3d7", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#735a17", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Aficionado [10]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "561159fabe32f0a3", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Yep! It\u2019s a term of jealousy. Where the people using it are (in their minds) punching up.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Yep! It\u2019s a term of jealousy. Where the people using it are (in their minds) punching up.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1602090798.0, "created_utc": 1602090798.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g80r1fw", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_j6qi9b", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g80r1fw", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g80mm87", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j6qi9b/aita_for_flipping_out_on_my_sons_school_after/g80r1fw/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 41, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 41, "user_reports": []}
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Nta and the fact that he tried to use your past against you makes him TA
|
ihjphi
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0449ad0a59adf74d
| 1,598,544,759
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "late 20s to mid-30s (has multiple young children including a 2-year-old as of 2020)", "gender": "female (explicitly states 'Talking to a me[n] about periods is just weird')", "location": "Washington state, USA (states 'I live in Washington it's legal here')", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married with multiple children including a 2-year-old; has been with partner for 5+ years as of 2020; has experience with sewing (15+ years)"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and stepfamily relationships (frequently comments on posts about stepparents and blended families)", "Parenting issues and child development (discusses toddler behavior, periods, childcare)", "Pregnancy and childbirth topics (engages with posts about pregnancy announcements and maternal issues)", "Wedding planning and family celebrations (comments on wedding venue disputes and announcement conflicts)", "Relationship conflicts and boundaries (consistently responds to posts about interpersonal disputes)", "Women's health and menstruation (provides detailed perspective on period-related posts)", "Sewing and crafts (mentions '15 plus years' of sewing experience)", "Friendship dynamics and loyalty (discusses best friend relationships and support systems)", "Substance use discussions (mentions marijuana legalization in Washington)", "Religious perspectives on grief and loss (shares family experiences with religious grandmothers)", "Tenant-landlord relationships (comments on eviction and housing situations)", "Sobriety and addiction issues (engages with posts about alcohol recovery)"], "values": ["Personal accountability and consequences ('for every choice there are consequences', 'She's an adult she made a choice')", "No excuses for bad behavior ('he dues t get a pass for being jerk just cause of autism')", "Loyalty in relationships ('She only contacted you get your to help her she is no friend of yours')", "Standing up for oneself and setting boundaries ('NTA block her', 'the fact that he tried to use your past against you makes him TA')", "Actions have consequences regardless of circumstances ('shouldn't have left you while you were pregnant than he wouldn't have another man being called daddy')", "Women supporting women ('If I couldn't have kids and a friend of mine did I would be like an aunt to that child')", "Protecting children and family ('She didn't need a therapist she needs her female relatives to talk to her')", "Direct communication over passive approaches ('A 'no' should've been enough')", "Criticism of entitled behavior ('OPs family is entitled', 'So wait they want to use your castle free of charge')", "Skepticism toward performative gestures ('do overs don't work')", "Support for personal autonomy in parenting decisions (supports single mother's choice to keep baby)", "Intolerance for manipulation and guilt-tripping (criticizes those who use emotional manipulation)"], "communication": ["Casual, conversational tone with frequent typos ('dues t' for 'doesn't', 'me.' for 'men', 'rennet' for 'remember')", "Direct and blunt judgments ('NTA', 'TA', 'this daisy bitch isn't a friend')", "Uses personal anecdotes as evidence ('I've had two kids by choice', 'My two year old tears everything apart')", "Brief to medium-length responses, typically 50-150 words", "Employs sarcasm ('Wow that's very generous of them. Maybe they can have your house as a wedding gift. (Yes, this is sarcasm)')", "Stream-of-consciousness writing style with run-on sentences", "Frequently starts with verdict abbreviations ('NTA', 'Love this idea')", "Uses emphatic language and exclamation points for emphasis", "Informal grammar and punctuation (inconsistent capitalization, missing apostrophes)", "Occasionally uses profanity for emphasis ('fuck sake', 'shit list')", "Provides practical advice based on personal experience ('Put her on your shit list and don't invite her to anything baby related')", "Empathetic but firm tone when discussing serious topics"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 60-80 words", "Minimum response length: 3 words ('Love this idea')", "Maximum response length: approximately 150 words (SIL pregnancy announcement response)", "Most frequent phrases: 'NTA', 'TA', 'she/he', 'children/kids/baby'", "Consistent use of abbreviations and Reddit terminology (NTA, TA, OP)", "High frequency of typos and grammatical errors across all responses", "Tends to use first-person perspective when sharing personal experiences", "Sentence structure varies from fragments to long run-on sentences", "Frequently uses conditional statements ('If I couldn't have kids...', 'If anyone acted towards her...')", "Often includes parenthetical clarifications or asides"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for refusing to be in my father's wedding even tho I \"cheated too\"?\n\nA story as old as time. My (f27) father (50) cheated on my mother for 5 years with a younger woman(currently 32) and he left my mother when mistress got pregnant. It tore our family apart.\n\nI resent my father because my mother actually loved him and she is still dealing with this. Even 1 year after he left her.\nI stayed on okay terms with him because I was the one to pick up and drop off my younger brother at his place.\n\nLast week when I picked up my brother my father had big news. He proposed to his girlfriend and wanted me as his best (wo)man. It made me kinda mad ngl. But I kept calm... And told him no. He said that what happened between him and mom was none of our business and that I should respect his new relationship. I said I respect it but that doesn't mean I condone it. Obviously I would never hound him randomly about it but I don't approve of it and I don't like her. She knew the whole time my mom and we existed .\n\nWell my dad was having none of it and told me to get off my high horse because I had cheated too and I had no right.\nAnd I.... Guess?\nWhen I was 17 I was with this boy for 3 months. I went to a party got shit faced and made out with a classmate for a total of 10 minutes. I felt so bad that I called my boyfriend crying and we talked it out. We broke up. I told my dad and In 10 years I never did something like that again. I have been with my partner for 5 years.\nI told him he could not equate it at all. He called me a hypocrite. And that he was glad to know who I am.\n\nDriving home I felt like I was a bit harsh. He is still my father and he is not a bad father. I just don't want to be in his wedding. I would still go. But AITA,?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1598529579.0, \"created_utc\": 1598529579.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ihjphi\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ihjphi\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1272, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihjphi/aita_for_refusing_to_be_in_my_fathers_wedding/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23301, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"A story as old as time. My (f27) father (50) cheated on my mother for 5 years with a younger woman(currently 32) and he left my mother when mistress got pregnant. It tore our family apart.\\n\\nI resent my father because my mother actually loved him and she is still dealing with this. Even 1 year after he left her.\\nI stayed on okay terms with him because I was the one to pick up and drop off my younger brother at his place.\\n\\nLast week when I picked up my brother my father had big news. He proposed to his girlfriend and wanted me as his best (wo)man. It made me kinda mad ngl. But I kept calm... And told him no. He said that what happened between him and mom was none of our business and that I should respect his new relationship. I said I respect it but that doesn't mean I condone it. Obviously I would never hound him randomly about it but I don't approve of it and I don't like her. She knew the whole time my mom and we existed .\\n\\nWell my dad was having none of it and told me to get off my high horse because I had cheated too and I had no right.\\nAnd I.... Guess?\\nWhen I was 17 I was with this boy for 3 months. I went to a party got shit faced and made out with a classmate for a total of 10 minutes. I felt so bad that I called my boyfriend crying and we talked it out. We broke up. I told my dad and In 10 years I never did something like that again. I have been with my partner for 5 years.\\nI told him he could not equate it at all. He called me a hypocrite. And that he was glad to know who I am.\\n\\nDriving home I felt like I was a bit harsh. He is still my father and he is not a bad father. I just don't want to be in his wedding. I would still go. But AITA,?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>A story as old as time. My (f27) father (50) cheated on my mother for 5 years with a younger woman(currently 32) and he left my mother when mistress got pregnant. It tore our family apart.</p>\\n\\n<p>I resent my father because my mother actually loved him and she is still dealing with this. Even 1 year after he left her.\\nI stayed on okay terms with him because I was the one to pick up and drop off my younger brother at his place.</p>\\n\\n<p>Last week when I picked up my brother my father had big news. He proposed to his girlfriend and wanted me as his best (wo)man. It made me kinda mad ngl. But I kept calm... And told him no. He said that what happened between him and mom was none of our business and that I should respect his new relationship. I said I respect it but that doesn't mean I condone it. Obviously I would never hound him randomly about it but I don't approve of it and I don't like her. She knew the whole time my mom and we existed .</p>\\n\\n<p>Well my dad was having none of it and told me to get off my high horse because I had cheated too and I had no right.\\nAnd I.... Guess?\\nWhen I was 17 I was with this boy for 3 months. I went to a party got shit faced and made out with a classmate for a total of 10 minutes. I felt so bad that I called my boyfriend crying and we talked it out. We broke up. I told my dad and In 10 years I never did something like that again. I have been with my partner for 5 years.\\nI told him he could not equate it at all. He called me a hypocrite. And that he was glad to know who I am.</p>\\n\\n<p>Driving home I felt like I was a bit harsh. He is still my father and he is not a bad father. I just don't want to be in his wedding. I would still go. But AITA,?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ihjphi\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for refusing to be in my father's wedding even tho I \\\"cheated too\\\"?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23301, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihjphi/aita_for_refusing_to_be_in_my_fathers_wedding/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0449ad0a59adf74d", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "1fef07c95802eb81", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Nta and the fact that he tried to use your past against you makes him TA", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Nta and the fact that he tried to use your past against you makes him TA</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1598544759.0, "created_utc": 1598544759.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g319ydu", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ihjphi", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g319ydu", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_ihjphi", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ihjphi/aita_for_refusing_to_be_in_my_fathers_wedding/g319ydu/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1, "user_reports": []}
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NTA. She cheated for SIX YEARS and then wanted to have a huge row with him about paternity and claim you're TA? No, just no.
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gdr20t
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9e5da754c7e92150
| 1,588,715,576
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[{"content": "AITA for telling my brother in law that paternity tests aren't automatic\n\nUPDATE: wow this got a lot of comments!!!\n\nSo I have done a LOT of snooping. And it is way more soap opera than I thought.\n\n1) apparently since child 1 didn't look like him at all, she made up the paternity test scheme to trick him into marrying her. But, THEY ACTUALLY DID PATERNITY TEST THAT KID and the real test said her ex was the dad. But he refused so she lied about the result, and my bfs bro never asked to see the papers\n\n2) it gets worse. She's been secretly collecting child support from bio dad, and using it as get secret slush fund, while being a stay at home mom and making husband pay her way\n\n3) she cheated on him A LOT and figured that she could lie again if the kids weren't his, and secretly rake in the child support. So, each baby she had tested, but the next two were his.\n\n4) he decided to stay bc the kids - but he called the baby daddy of Kid 1 and explained the whole situation.\n\n5) Baby Daddy of kid 1 is in negotiations for visitation or to cease child support.\n\n\nORIGINAL POST\n\nA while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.\n\nThe wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.\n\nWell, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says \"I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!\"\n\nI thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.\n\nThe first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.\n\nFinally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like \"you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about\" and he said it was \"the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital\" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said \"you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate.\"\n\nThe confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.\n\nHe got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said \"maybe it's because I have different insurance\" because that's all I could think of.\n\nWell he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years. \n\nEveryone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole?", "role": "BeautifulWorking6", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"BeautifulWorking6\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6dycs0ng\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1588652628.0, \"created_utc\": 1588652628.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1588873713.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"gdr20t\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_gdr20t\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1845, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gdr20t/aita_for_telling_my_brother_in_law_that_paternity/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23429, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"UPDATE: wow this got a lot of comments!!!\\n\\nSo I have done a LOT of snooping. And it is way more soap opera than I thought.\\n\\n1) apparently since child 1 didn't look like him at all, she made up the paternity test scheme to trick him into marrying her. But, THEY ACTUALLY DID PATERNITY TEST THAT KID and the real test said her ex was the dad. But he refused so she lied about the result, and my bfs bro never asked to see the papers\\n\\n2) it gets worse. She's been secretly collecting child support from bio dad, and using it as get secret slush fund, while being a stay at home mom and making husband pay her way\\n\\n3) she cheated on him A LOT and figured that she could lie again if the kids weren't his, and secretly rake in the child support. So, each baby she had tested, but the next two were his.\\n\\n4) he decided to stay bc the kids - but he called the baby daddy of Kid 1 and explained the whole situation.\\n\\n5) Baby Daddy of kid 1 is in negotiations for visitation or to cease child support.\\n\\n\\nORIGINAL POST\\n\\nA while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.\\n\\nThe wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.\\n\\nWell, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says \\\"I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!\\\"\\n\\nI thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.\\n\\nThe first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.\\n\\nFinally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like \\\"you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about\\\" and he said it was \\\"the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital\\\" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said \\\"you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate.\\\"\\n\\nThe confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.\\n\\nHe got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said \\\"maybe it's because I have different insurance\\\" because that's all I could think of.\\n\\nWell he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years. \\n\\nEveryone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>UPDATE: wow this got a lot of comments!!!</p>\\n\\n<p>So I have done a LOT of snooping. And it is way more soap opera than I thought.</p>\\n\\n<p>1) apparently since child 1 didn't look like him at all, she made up the paternity test scheme to trick him into marrying her. But, THEY ACTUALLY DID PATERNITY TEST THAT KID and the real test said her ex was the dad. But he refused so she lied about the result, and my bfs bro never asked to see the papers</p>\\n\\n<p>2) it gets worse. She's been secretly collecting child support from bio dad, and using it as get secret slush fund, while being a stay at home mom and making husband pay her way</p>\\n\\n<p>3) she cheated on him A LOT and figured that she could lie again if the kids weren't his, and secretly rake in the child support. So, each baby she had tested, but the next two were his.</p>\\n\\n<p>4) he decided to stay bc the kids - but he called the baby daddy of Kid 1 and explained the whole situation.</p>\\n\\n<p>5) Baby Daddy of kid 1 is in negotiations for visitation or to cease child support.</p>\\n\\n<p>ORIGINAL POST</p>\\n\\n<p>A while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.</p>\\n\\n<p>The wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.</p>\\n\\n<p>Well, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says "I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!"</p>\\n\\n<p>I thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.</p>\\n\\n<p>The first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.</p>\\n\\n<p>Finally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like "you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about" and he said it was "the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said "you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate."</p>\\n\\n<p>The confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.</p>\\n\\n<p>He got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said "maybe it's because I have different insurance" because that's all I could think of.</p>\\n\\n<p>Well he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years. </p>\\n\\n<p>Everyone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_gdr20t\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling my brother in law that paternity tests aren't automatic\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23429, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.94, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gdr20t/aita_for_telling_my_brother_in_law_that_paternity/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "9e5da754c7e92150", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "f8a07c765c29c989", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. She cheated for SIX YEARS and then wanted to have a huge row with him about paternity and claim you're TA? No, just no.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. She cheated for SIX YEARS and then wanted to have a huge row with him about paternity and claim you're TA? No, just no.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1588715576.0, "created_utc": 1588715576.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fplmu5r", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_gdr20t", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fplmu5r", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_gdr20t", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gdr20t/aita_for_telling_my_brother_in_law_that_paternity/fplmu5r/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}
|
God doesn't exist, but if a deity did, it wouldn't use other people as tools and kill them off just to punish someone. That's about as immoral as possible as it completely ignores the "free will" and agency of the father and son in this situation and makes the surviving wife the center of God's attention. What did the father and son learn? Not to exist?
|
jad6d7
|
4ad76ab279c945c1
| 1,602,636,609
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "Approximately 20 years old (stated 19 in August 2019, last response June 2020)", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA (though mentions having had a 3.9 GPA, suggesting recent or current college student status)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Likely college-educated or in college, based on reference to having a 3.9 GPA and knowing 'lots of people with 4.0'"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and social justice scenarios, as evidenced by engagement with AITA posts", "Parenting and childcare issues, responding supportively to posts about fathers caring for children (\"You're a good dad dude :)\")", "Academic achievement and educational standards, defending high GPA requirements (\"I had a 3.9 and knew lots of people with 4.0\")", "Workplace dynamics and professional boundaries, engaging with posts about office conflicts and HR issues", "Creative problem-solving and practical solutions, enthusiastically sharing product links like alarmed door stoppers", "Stories of personal transformation and overcoming adversity, praising weight loss and life improvements", "Accountability and consequences for bad behavior, supporting people who stand up for themselves", "Humor in tense situations, finding comedy in absurd scenarios (\"NTA - that's quite funny, thanks\")"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability and facing consequences, stating \"Your stepsister and stepmother deserve a wake up call. Their behavior is not cool, you are not a punching bag\"", "Appreciation for academic excellence and hard work, defending that 3.5 GPA is achievable: \"Impossible achievement??? Not at all. I had a 3.9\"", "Support for good parenting and responsible fatherhood, encouraging young fathers with \"You're a good dad dude :)\"", "Admiration for people who overcome personal challenges, praising transformation stories with \"Wow, fantastic OP! You're an inspiration\"", "Belief in setting and maintaining boundaries, supporting people who refuse to be manipulated or taken advantage of", "Opposition to entitlement and manipulation, mocking unreasonable expectations with satirical quotes", "Value of common courtesy and respect, criticizing people who violate others' privacy or boundaries", "Appreciation for humor as a coping mechanism, laughing at absurd situations (\"hahaha, nicely said!\")"], "communication": ["Extremely brief responses, typically one to two sentences, with most being 10-20 words in length", "Frequent use of emoticons, particularly the smiley face :) to convey warmth and support", "Liberal use of exclamation marks to express enthusiasm and encouragement", "Employs satirical quotations to mock unreasonable behavior, as in the neighbor cooking scenario", "Casual, conversational tone with informal language like \"dude,\" \"hahaha,\" and \"wow\"", "Direct and straightforward communication style without elaborate explanations", "Uses humor effectively, both through witty one-liners and extended satirical scenarios", "Builds upon others' comments in thread conversations, showing engagement with the discussion", "Supportive and encouraging language, frequently praising original posters with phrases like \"Good for you OP!\"", "Occasionally provides practical advice or suggestions, such as product recommendations with links"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 15-20 words, with minimum around 5 words and maximum around 80 words", "Most frequent phrases include variations of support: \"Good for you,\" \"NTA,\" \"You're doing the right thing\"", "Consistent use of emoticons, particularly :) appearing in roughly 30% of responses", "Heavy use of exclamation marks for emphasis and enthusiasm, appearing in majority of responses", "Simple sentence structures, typically one or two sentences per response with occasional longer satirical passages", "Frequent use of quotation marks for both direct quotes and satirical effect", "Common words include: \"good,\" \"you,\" \"that's,\" \"wow,\" \"thanks,\" and expressions of agreement"]}
|
[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for kicking a friend out of my house for what she said?\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/iwpbdx/aita_for_kicking_a_friend_out_of_my_house_for/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)\n\nIt's been a few weeks since the situation happened, so I will start off by saying that (ex)friend B did NOT apologize to friend A for what she said. Matter of fact, she hasn't reached out to either one of us since then (we also didn't reach out to her). Unfortunately, B's words from that day really got to friend A. She struggled with survivors guilt and questioned her upbringing/lifestyle, views on religion, etc. She doubled her therapy sessions and I spent my free time keeping her company. \n\nA couple of weeks ago, I went over to her place and found her reading a bible and (almost obsessively) flagging pages. She said she was researching to check if what B told her was true. She started reading excerpts and telling me her interpretations. This behavior did scare me a bit, so I suggested she bring this up to her therapist (it was the only thing I could think of to help calm her down). She did talk to the therapist who suggested she perhaps talk to a pastor instead of trying to come up with her own conclusions. She asked me to go with her, which I did, but told me to just wait for her at the church while she talked to the pastor privately. After, she said that she felt better and was more convinced that B was full of it. She also seemed calmer, so I believed that conversation did help her. \n\nI was at her house on Friday and she told me that she still thinks about what was said and, although she feels much better after talking to the pastor, he's only one person and what if he is wrong? I tried to reassure her again and talk through her feelings, but I could tell it was still eating at her. I had a feeling she might spiral again. Then I had an idea. I told her about the post I made on here and explained why, how it works, etc. (she's not a Reddit user). I pulled up my original post and asked her to read the comments to show her how hundreds of people (religious and non-religious) felt about what was said. We spent the evening reading each comment, she cried, she laughed, she was surprised and overwhelmed at the amount of support and reassuring words from all these strangers. I could tell she was more and more relieved as we read. She has been in a much better state of mind since then, so seeing hundreds of people disagree with B's words definitely had a positive impact on her. \n\nSo dear Redditors, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my friend with your kind words and reassurance! She has a long road ahead of her in this grieving process, but she's going strong.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1602595020.0, \"created_utc\": 1602595020.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jad6d7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jad6d7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 617, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jad6d7/update_aita_for_kicking_a_friend_out_of_my_house/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 34114, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/iwpbdx/aita_for_kicking_a_friend_out_of_my_house_for/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)\\n\\nIt's been a few weeks since the situation happened, so I will start off by saying that (ex)friend B did NOT apologize to friend A for what she said. Matter of fact, she hasn't reached out to either one of us since then (we also didn't reach out to her). Unfortunately, B's words from that day really got to friend A. She struggled with survivors guilt and questioned her upbringing/lifestyle, views on religion, etc. She doubled her therapy sessions and I spent my free time keeping her company. \\n\\nA couple of weeks ago, I went over to her place and found her reading a bible and (almost obsessively) flagging pages. She said she was researching to check if what B told her was true. She started reading excerpts and telling me her interpretations. This behavior did scare me a bit, so I suggested she bring this up to her therapist (it was the only thing I could think of to help calm her down). She did talk to the therapist who suggested she perhaps talk to a pastor instead of trying to come up with her own conclusions. She asked me to go with her, which I did, but told me to just wait for her at the church while she talked to the pastor privately. After, she said that she felt better and was more convinced that B was full of it. She also seemed calmer, so I believed that conversation did help her. \\n\\nI was at her house on Friday and she told me that she still thinks about what was said and, although she feels much better after talking to the pastor, he's only one person and what if he is wrong? I tried to reassure her again and talk through her feelings, but I could tell it was still eating at her. I had a feeling she might spiral again. Then I had an idea. I told her about the post I made on here and explained why, how it works, etc. (she's not a Reddit user). I pulled up my original post and asked her to read the comments to show her how hundreds of people (religious and non-religious) felt about what was said. We spent the evening reading each comment, she cried, she laughed, she was surprised and overwhelmed at the amount of support and reassuring words from all these strangers. I could tell she was more and more relieved as we read. She has been in a much better state of mind since then, so seeing hundreds of people disagree with B's words definitely had a positive impact on her. \\n\\nSo dear Redditors, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my friend with your kind words and reassurance! She has a long road ahead of her in this grieving process, but she's going strong.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p><a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/iwpbdx/aita_for_kicking_a_friend_out_of_my_house_for/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share\\\">Original Post</a></p>\\n\\n<p>It's been a few weeks since the situation happened, so I will start off by saying that (ex)friend B did NOT apologize to friend A for what she said. Matter of fact, she hasn't reached out to either one of us since then (we also didn't reach out to her). Unfortunately, B's words from that day really got to friend A. She struggled with survivors guilt and questioned her upbringing/lifestyle, views on religion, etc. She doubled her therapy sessions and I spent my free time keeping her company. </p>\\n\\n<p>A couple of weeks ago, I went over to her place and found her reading a bible and (almost obsessively) flagging pages. She said she was researching to check if what B told her was true. She started reading excerpts and telling me her interpretations. This behavior did scare me a bit, so I suggested she bring this up to her therapist (it was the only thing I could think of to help calm her down). She did talk to the therapist who suggested she perhaps talk to a pastor instead of trying to come up with her own conclusions. She asked me to go with her, which I did, but told me to just wait for her at the church while she talked to the pastor privately. After, she said that she felt better and was more convinced that B was full of it. She also seemed calmer, so I believed that conversation did help her. </p>\\n\\n<p>I was at her house on Friday and she told me that she still thinks about what was said and, although she feels much better after talking to the pastor, he's only one person and what if he is wrong? I tried to reassure her again and talk through her feelings, but I could tell it was still eating at her. I had a feeling she might spiral again. Then I had an idea. I told her about the post I made on here and explained why, how it works, etc. (she's not a Reddit user). I pulled up my original post and asked her to read the comments to show her how hundreds of people (religious and non-religious) felt about what was said. We spent the evening reading each comment, she cried, she laughed, she was surprised and overwhelmed at the amount of support and reassuring words from all these strangers. I could tell she was more and more relieved as we read. She has been in a much better state of mind since then, so seeing hundreds of people disagree with B's words definitely had a positive impact on her. </p>\\n\\n<p>So dear Redditors, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my friend with your kind words and reassurance! She has a long road ahead of her in this grieving process, but she's going strong.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jad6d7\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for kicking a friend out of my house for what she said?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 34114, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.98, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jad6d7/update_aita_for_kicking_a_friend_out_of_my_house/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4ad76ab279c945c1", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "63e492f0dda8e4a5", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "God doesn't exist, but if a deity did, it wouldn't use other people as tools and kill them off just to punish someone. That's about as immoral as possible as it completely ignores the \"free will\" and agency of the father and son in this situation and makes the surviving wife the center of God's attention. What did the father and son learn? Not to exist?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>God doesn't exist, but if a deity did, it wouldn't use other people as tools and kill them off just to punish someone. That's about as immoral as possible as it completely ignores the "free will" and agency of the father and son in this situation and makes the surviving wife the center of God's attention. What did the father and son learn? Not to exist?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1602636609.0, "created_utc": 1602636609.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g8r1scj", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jad6d7", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g8r1scj", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_jad6d7", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jad6d7/update_aita_for_kicking_a_friend_out_of_my_house/g8r1scj/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
|
> That's what we always planned for.
[...quoted text...]
-
> so we didn't plan for it
[...quoted text...]
OKAY
|
oll5ex
|
241e5879d6775dc0
| 1,626,471,714
| 2
|
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|
[{"content": "AITA for being surly, rude and mean at a wedding and leaving early?\n\nI was asked to be a member of the wedding party. Despite this, I was THE ONLY person, not only in the wedding party, but also at the ceremony, who wasn't allowed to have a +1. This was an outdoor wedding with unlimited seating and these people don't give a shit about COVID so it wasn't about that. \n\n\nI was told it was because my relationship wasn't \"serious\" enough despite us being together for a year. That only engaged or married couples were invited. And that they didn't want \"some random guy\" in their wedding pictures who \"I might not even be with\" later in the future. They don't want to \"have to look at some random guy in their pictures\" even though he wouldn't have been in any of the posed pictures at all. Maybe just in the background of crowd shots. \n\n\nThere have been NO conflicts between them and my boyfriend and he's a nice and mild-mannered guy who gets along with everyone so I don't think it was about him personally. \n\n\nI get to the ceremony and find out that literally everyone else has a +1, not just married couples, but there are couples there who have been dating for less time than me. \n\n\nThis is when I started feeling surly. I smiled and played my part during the ceremony but inside I was very surly and angry. \n\n\nWe then got to the reception which had way more people than the ceremony. This is where all the \"more distant friends\" were invited. AND EVERYONE THERE had a +1. I was literally placed at a table as the one single person and everyone else at the table was a couple. Some at the table were other members of the wedding party, but others were random distant acquaintances. People started asking me where my boyfriend was and I said I was told he wasn't invited. They asked why and I said I had no idea why. This is when I started letting my surliness show and started acting rude and mean, because I was humiliated. \n\n\nAND THEN, I was \"brought into conversation\" with the couple's male friend, Dean. I was previously told that Dean has a crush on me and I made it clear I wouldn't be interested even if I were single. Even after that he kept trying to message me and I ignored him. But now the people who \"brought me into conversation\" with Dean were like standing around staring at us and giggling behind their hands. Like they thought they were Cupid matchmakers. Dean was absolutely a participant in this \n\n\nI was meaner to Dean than I've ever been to anyone in my entire life. I was as fully rude as I've ever wanted to be when being the target of someone's romantic interest unwantedly. It's true I don't really know if I was being set up but I was already furious before that happened. Everyone was silent and awkward. \n\n\nI went back and finished my meal, and as soon as I was done, picked up my purse and left and went straight to my boyfriend's house, skipping most of the reception, cake cutting, speeches, and everything. \n\n\nI'm now being told by the couple that they're \"hurt and confused\" why I left so early. I haven't replied.", "role": "Particular_Visual_14", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Particular_Visual_14\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dcbmlkuz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1626455154.0, \"created_utc\": 1626455154.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"oll5ex\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_oll5ex\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3007, \"num_crossposts\": 8, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oll5ex/aita_for_being_surly_rude_and_mean_at_a_wedding/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32701, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I was asked to be a member of the wedding party. Despite this, I was THE ONLY person, not only in the wedding party, but also at the ceremony, who wasn't allowed to have a +1. This was an outdoor wedding with unlimited seating and these people don't give a shit about COVID so it wasn't about that. \\n\\n\\nI was told it was because my relationship wasn't \\\"serious\\\" enough despite us being together for a year. That only engaged or married couples were invited. And that they didn't want \\\"some random guy\\\" in their wedding pictures who \\\"I might not even be with\\\" later in the future. They don't want to \\\"have to look at some random guy in their pictures\\\" even though he wouldn't have been in any of the posed pictures at all. Maybe just in the background of crowd shots. \\n\\n\\nThere have been NO conflicts between them and my boyfriend and he's a nice and mild-mannered guy who gets along with everyone so I don't think it was about him personally. \\n\\n\\nI get to the ceremony and find out that literally everyone else has a +1, not just married couples, but there are couples there who have been dating for less time than me. \\n\\n\\nThis is when I started feeling surly. I smiled and played my part during the ceremony but inside I was very surly and angry. \\n\\n\\nWe then got to the reception which had way more people than the ceremony. This is where all the \\\"more distant friends\\\" were invited. AND EVERYONE THERE had a +1. I was literally placed at a table as the one single person and everyone else at the table was a couple. Some at the table were other members of the wedding party, but others were random distant acquaintances. People started asking me where my boyfriend was and I said I was told he wasn't invited. They asked why and I said I had no idea why. This is when I started letting my surliness show and started acting rude and mean, because I was humiliated. \\n\\n\\nAND THEN, I was \\\"brought into conversation\\\" with the couple's male friend, Dean. I was previously told that Dean has a crush on me and I made it clear I wouldn't be interested even if I were single. Even after that he kept trying to message me and I ignored him. But now the people who \\\"brought me into conversation\\\" with Dean were like standing around staring at us and giggling behind their hands. Like they thought they were Cupid matchmakers. Dean was absolutely a participant in this \\n\\n\\nI was meaner to Dean than I've ever been to anyone in my entire life. I was as fully rude as I've ever wanted to be when being the target of someone's romantic interest unwantedly. It's true I don't really know if I was being set up but I was already furious before that happened. Everyone was silent and awkward. \\n\\n\\nI went back and finished my meal, and as soon as I was done, picked up my purse and left and went straight to my boyfriend's house, skipping most of the reception, cake cutting, speeches, and everything. \\n\\n\\nI'm now being told by the couple that they're \\\"hurt and confused\\\" why I left so early. I haven't replied.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I was asked to be a member of the wedding party. Despite this, I was THE ONLY person, not only in the wedding party, but also at the ceremony, who wasn't allowed to have a +1. This was an outdoor wedding with unlimited seating and these people don't give a shit about COVID so it wasn't about that. </p>\\n\\n<p>I was told it was because my relationship wasn't "serious" enough despite us being together for a year. That only engaged or married couples were invited. And that they didn't want "some random guy" in their wedding pictures who "I might not even be with" later in the future. They don't want to "have to look at some random guy in their pictures" even though he wouldn't have been in any of the posed pictures at all. Maybe just in the background of crowd shots. </p>\\n\\n<p>There have been NO conflicts between them and my boyfriend and he's a nice and mild-mannered guy who gets along with everyone so I don't think it was about him personally. </p>\\n\\n<p>I get to the ceremony and find out that literally everyone else has a +1, not just married couples, but there are couples there who have been dating for less time than me. </p>\\n\\n<p>This is when I started feeling surly. I smiled and played my part during the ceremony but inside I was very surly and angry. </p>\\n\\n<p>We then got to the reception which had way more people than the ceremony. This is where all the "more distant friends" were invited. AND EVERYONE THERE had a +1. I was literally placed at a table as the one single person and everyone else at the table was a couple. Some at the table were other members of the wedding party, but others were random distant acquaintances. People started asking me where my boyfriend was and I said I was told he wasn't invited. They asked why and I said I had no idea why. This is when I started letting my surliness show and started acting rude and mean, because I was humiliated. </p>\\n\\n<p>AND THEN, I was "brought into conversation" with the couple's male friend, Dean. I was previously told that Dean has a crush on me and I made it clear I wouldn't be interested even if I were single. Even after that he kept trying to message me and I ignored him. But now the people who "brought me into conversation" with Dean were like standing around staring at us and giggling behind their hands. Like they thought they were Cupid matchmakers. Dean was absolutely a participant in this </p>\\n\\n<p>I was meaner to Dean than I've ever been to anyone in my entire life. I was as fully rude as I've ever wanted to be when being the target of someone's romantic interest unwantedly. It's true I don't really know if I was being set up but I was already furious before that happened. Everyone was silent and awkward. </p>\\n\\n<p>I went back and finished my meal, and as soon as I was done, picked up my purse and left and went straight to my boyfriend's house, skipping most of the reception, cake cutting, speeches, and everything. </p>\\n\\n<p>I'm now being told by the couple that they're "hurt and confused" why I left so early. I haven't replied.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_oll5ex\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for being surly, rude and mean at a wedding and leaving early?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32701, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.91, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oll5ex/aita_for_being_surly_rude_and_mean_at_a_wedding/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "HOLD ON:\n\n\"We just meant no plus-ones for the ceremony. It was perfectly fine for you to bring (boyfriend) to the reception and that's what we assumed you were going to do. That's what we always planned for. The reception being much larger and looser. We never heard from you about bringing (boyfriend) to the reception, so we didn't plan for it, but it always would have been fine.\" \n\n\nHOW did they always plan for you to bring your boyfriend, yet DIDN'T plan for him at the same time? This response of theirs makes no sense.I hope you don't let them wriggle their way out of it and admit they were trying to set you up.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"HOLD ON:\\n\\n\\\"We just meant no plus-ones for the ceremony. It was perfectly fine for you to bring (boyfriend) to the reception and that's what we assumed you were going to do. That's what we always planned for. The reception being much larger and looser. We never heard from you about bringing (boyfriend) to the reception, so we didn't plan for it, but it always would have been fine.\\\" \\n\\n\\nHOW did they always plan for you to bring your boyfriend, yet DIDN'T plan for him at the same time? This response of theirs makes no sense.I hope you don't let them wriggle their way out of it and admit they were trying to set you up.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>HOLD ON:</p>\\n\\n<p>"We just meant no plus-ones for the ceremony. It was perfectly fine for you to bring (boyfriend) to the reception and that's what we assumed you were going to do. That's what we always planned for. The reception being much larger and looser. We never heard from you about bringing (boyfriend) to the reception, so we didn't plan for it, but it always would have been fine." </p>\\n\\n<p>HOW did they always plan for you to bring your boyfriend, yet DIDN'T plan for him at the same time? This response of theirs makes no sense.I hope you don't let them wriggle their way out of it and admit they were trying to set you up.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626465679.0, \"created_utc\": 1626465679.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5fqfqd\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_oll5ex\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5fqfqd\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_oll5ex\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oll5ex/aita_for_being_surly_rude_and_mean_at_a_wedding/h5fqfqd/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 56, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 56, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "241e5879d6775dc0", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [3]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9d4ab61b9d71ffe1", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> That's what we always planned for.\n\n-\n\n> so we didn't plan for it\n\nOKAY", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>That's what we always planned for.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<h2></h2>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>so we didn't plan for it</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>OKAY</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1626471714.0, "created_utc": 1626471714.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h5g3skk", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_oll5ex", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h5g3skk", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h5fqfqd", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oll5ex/aita_for_being_surly_rude_and_mean_at_a_wedding/h5g3skk/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 13, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 13, "user_reports": []}
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This sub really likes to put stepparents in an unwinnable position. Treat and love the stepkid as if they were your child, but they’re not your child so don’t treat them like they are. It’s like being a stepparent means you get held to the responsibilities of parenthood with none of the rights or reward.
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{"demographics": {"age group": "Late 30s (under 40 as of 2020, last response January 2021)", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has a grandmother who was 16 in 1929; mentions having a boyfriend in one response context"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly parent-child relationships ('I agree that OP should drop out of the competition and let Mom figure it out')", "True crime cases and their psychological implications ('I enjoy true crime and one case had a guy who cheated on his wife')", "Financial and business matters, including tax law and business operations ('has to pay employee payroll taxes on both of them. That really ate into what were likely razor-thin profit margins')", "Legal issues including custody battles, trust law, and inheritance disputes ('lawyer says they may have violated the trust grandma set up')", "Child welfare and protection from harmful situations ('You saved your daughter, plain and simple. You saved her life')", "Accountability and consequences for actions, especially in family contexts ('she would've felt much differently. Especially if she had a hungry baby that now had no way of being fed')", "Stepfamily dynamics and the challenges of blended families ('This sub really likes to put stepparents in an unwinnable position')", "Workplace boundaries and professional relationships ('OP was doing as a singular person')"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability and facing consequences ('Yeah, that's actually a glaring omission in order to present the BIL as 100% the unreasonable asshole')", "Empathy for victims while holding perpetrators responsible ('They thought it was fine because the kid had picked OP to be the target of her attention-seeking and was no longer bothering them')", "Protection of vulnerable parties, especially children ('the responsibility begins and ends with you')", "Importance of honesty and transparency in presenting situations ('That makes it clear that OP has ruined family events before')", "Support for setting firm boundaries with toxic family members ('No more paying for trips to Paris or other similar outings')", "Recognition that actions have far-reaching consequences ('I wonder how that guy sleeps knowing that his infidelity directly and indirectly caused the death of his entire family')", "Fairness in financial and inheritance matters ('the solution wasn't for you to bear the consequences')", "Understanding of complex family dynamics while maintaining clear moral positions ('The BIL is still TA in this case, but a justified one')", "Belief that stepparents face unfair double standards ('It's like being a stepparent means you get held to the responsibilities of parenthood with none of the rights or reward')", "Recognition of practical realities in difficult situations ('Probably envious AF at OP's disposable time and income')"], "communication": ["Uses clear, structured paragraphs with logical progression of ideas", "Frequently quotes previous comments to provide context before responding ('> That said, you should really edit your post')", "Employs analytical language with detailed explanations ('I noted that too. And like the commenter below you said, it was very telling')", "Mixes formal analysis with occasional informal expressions ('What the actual fuck?', 'Probably envious AF')", "References external knowledge to support arguments (tax law, legal concepts, true crime cases)", "Uses conditional and analytical language ('if', 'would', 'should', 'because', 'so', 'but')", "Provides specific examples and scenarios to illustrate points", "Shows ability to acknowledge multiple perspectives while maintaining position ('While your mom isn't wrong in that respect, the solution wasn't for you to bear the consequences')", "Response length varies from brief agreements to detailed analytical responses (4-200+ words)", "Often identifies patterns and connections others miss ('I think that's what happened here. The cousins figured the room full of guests would help keep an eye out')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 80-100 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 4-6 words ('Agreed. What the actual fuck?')", "Maximum response length: 150-200 words in detailed analytical responses", "Frequently uses phrases like 'I agree', 'I think', 'probably', 'likely', 'would have'", "Common analytical connectors: 'because', 'so', 'but', 'if', 'when', 'that's why'", "Often employs quotation marks to reference previous comments or hypothetical dialogue", "Uses parenthetical asides to add context or clarification", "Sentence structure varies from simple declarative statements to complex compound-complex sentences", "Employs rhetorical questions occasionally for emphasis", "References specific details from posts (names, amounts, timeframes) to support arguments"]}
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[{"content": "AITA For not giving my wife her daughter's address so she could see the newborn?\n\nHear me out please. I'm a 46 year-old father who lost a daughter (Molly) years ago to Brain Cancer. Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy. I married my wife when my stepdaughter (Sarah) was 15. Sarah had issues with her mom. Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return. She started working. I remained in contact. I just couldn't let her struggle I tried to help her financially but she refused. she's incredibly independent and a hard working person. She reminded me of Molly. \n\nI decided to help in other ways. I got her a better job opportunity by calling someone I knew at the time. This way she still had to work to earn money which is something she wanted. And also work a better job that appreciated her more than the previous job. She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer\nI sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then boyfriend now husband and paid for other things.\n\nMy wife didn't try to mend things. She disowned Sarah the day she got married but I stood firm and told her that I'm free to talk to Sarah and she should respect that.\nI attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad infront of other people. In the past it was just my name.\nThis sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be.\n\nShe's now 22 and just had a babygirl a few weeks ago. I visited several times and we talked. She told me that it was unfortunate that she lost her dad but was glad she has me in her life. I cried although I'm not good at expressing emotions and it got worse after Molly's death.\n\nMy wife knew about the baby and demanded I give her the address so she could go see her granddaughter. I refused because Sarah asked me not to tell. And because she's already dealing with postpartum and will not be able to deal with her mom's behavior. My wife threw a fit and said that this is her daughter and grandbaby and I shouldn't try to stop her from seeing her. She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address.", "role": "303367___", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"303367___\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9quu4hjv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1610243390.0, \"created_utc\": 1610243390.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"ku4ppq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1926, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24346, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Hear me out please. I'm a 46 year-old father who lost a daughter (Molly) years ago to Brain Cancer. Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy. I married my wife when my stepdaughter (Sarah) was 15. Sarah had issues with her mom. Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return. She started working. I remained in contact. I just couldn't let her struggle I tried to help her financially but she refused. she's incredibly independent and a hard working person. She reminded me of Molly. \\n\\nI decided to help in other ways. I got her a better job opportunity by calling someone I knew at the time. This way she still had to work to earn money which is something she wanted. And also work a better job that appreciated her more than the previous job. She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer\\nI sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then boyfriend now husband and paid for other things.\\n\\nMy wife didn't try to mend things. She disowned Sarah the day she got married but I stood firm and told her that I'm free to talk to Sarah and she should respect that.\\nI attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad infront of other people. In the past it was just my name.\\nThis sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be.\\n\\nShe's now 22 and just had a babygirl a few weeks ago. I visited several times and we talked. She told me that it was unfortunate that she lost her dad but was glad she has me in her life. I cried although I'm not good at expressing emotions and it got worse after Molly's death.\\n\\nMy wife knew about the baby and demanded I give her the address so she could go see her granddaughter. I refused because Sarah asked me not to tell. And because she's already dealing with postpartum and will not be able to deal with her mom's behavior. My wife threw a fit and said that this is her daughter and grandbaby and I shouldn't try to stop her from seeing her. She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Hear me out please. I'm a 46 year-old father who lost a daughter (Molly) years ago to Brain Cancer. Molly's death broke me. She was my only child I'm no longer who I was before this tragedy. I married my wife when my stepdaughter (Sarah) was 15. Sarah had issues with her mom. Her mom would kick her out over small arguments. She kicked her out for getting a haircut, for failing one class and other reasons. Every time she'd bring her back home and tell her to learn her lesson or she'd be kicked out. One time her mom kicked her out over a dairy at 17 and Sarah had enough and didn't return. She started working. I remained in contact. I just couldn't let her struggle I tried to help her financially but she refused. she's incredibly independent and a hard working person. She reminded me of Molly. </p>\\n\\n<p>I decided to help in other ways. I got her a better job opportunity by calling someone I knew at the time. This way she still had to work to earn money which is something she wanted. And also work a better job that appreciated her more than the previous job. She's an artist, she wanted to be a graphic designer\\nI sold my old car to pay for her courses. She started paying me back bit by bit only because she's independent. She lived with her then boyfriend now husband and paid for other things.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife didn't try to mend things. She disowned Sarah the day she got married but I stood firm and told her that I'm free to talk to Sarah and she should respect that.\\nI attend gatherings with Sarah from time to time and she calls me dad infront of other people. In the past it was just my name.\\nThis sounds crazy but I believe this all happened just so I could meet Sarah and have a chance at being the best father that I could be.</p>\\n\\n<p>She's now 22 and just had a babygirl a few weeks ago. I visited several times and we talked. She told me that it was unfortunate that she lost her dad but was glad she has me in her life. I cried although I'm not good at expressing emotions and it got worse after Molly's death.</p>\\n\\n<p>My wife knew about the baby and demanded I give her the address so she could go see her granddaughter. I refused because Sarah asked me not to tell. And because she's already dealing with postpartum and will not be able to deal with her mom's behavior. My wife threw a fit and said that this is her daughter and grandbaby and I shouldn't try to stop her from seeing her. She called me selfish and cruel. The argument didn't stop. The family are agreeing with her and telling me to stay out of it. I argued with my wife about it again. And she said I had no right and that I needed to give her the address. She didn't even seem regretful or wanted to apologize. Everyone is blaming me telling I'm being cruel and demanding I give her the address.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA For not giving my wife her daughter's address so she could see the newborn?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24346, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA\n\nShe is going to boundary stomp all over her daughter. Don\u2019t let her. \n\nPlease make sure she can\u2019t follow you or track the daughter down. \n\nPersonally, I\u2019d rethink the marriage. And seriously. You let her kick out her underage daughter. That\u2019s really awful. I\u2019m glad you\u2019re making it up to her now. \n\n**Dont you dare ever tell anyone not approved by the daughter to know how to find her**.", "role": "MissMurderpants", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"MissMurderpants\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#e3be04\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"e899ca7e-a710-11e9-8365-0e193c0f4a16\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Professor Emeritass [74]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8yeymtur\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA\\n\\nShe is going to boundary stomp all over her daughter. Don\\u2019t let her. \\n\\nPlease make sure she can\\u2019t follow you or track the daughter down. \\n\\nPersonally, I\\u2019d rethink the marriage. And seriously. You let her kick out her underage daughter. That\\u2019s really awful. I\\u2019m glad you\\u2019re making it up to her now. \\n\\n**Dont you dare ever tell anyone not approved by the daughter to know how to find her**.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA</p>\\n\\n<p>She is going to boundary stomp all over her daughter. Don\\u2019t let her. </p>\\n\\n<p>Please make sure she can\\u2019t follow you or track the daughter down. </p>\\n\\n<p>Personally, I\\u2019d rethink the marriage. And seriously. You let her kick out her underage daughter. That\\u2019s really awful. I\\u2019m glad you\\u2019re making it up to her now. </p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Dont you dare ever tell anyone not approved by the daughter to know how to find her</strong>.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610244085.0, \"created_utc\": 1610244085.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gipxc33\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gipxc33\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/gipxc33/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4409, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4409, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "> Dont you dare ever tell anyone not approved by the daughter to know how to find her.\n[...quoted text...]\n\nHe's doing the right thing. You don't need to be rude and yell at him.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"> Dont you dare ever tell anyone not approved by the daughter to know how to find her.\\n\\nHe's doing the right thing. You don't need to be rude and yell at him.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><blockquote>\\n<p>Dont you dare ever tell anyone not approved by the daughter to know how to find her.</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>He's doing the right thing. You don't need to be rude and yell at him.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610244196.0, \"created_utc\": 1610244196.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gipxjnm\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, 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\"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1225, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "He def fucked up in the past though, this is a sub for calling people out", "role": "anusthrasher96", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"anusthrasher96\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1094ax\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"He def fucked up in the past though, this is a sub for calling people out\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>He def fucked up in the past though, this is a sub for calling people out</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, 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Were we reading the same story? Are you blaming him for his daughter's brain cancer?\n\nEdit: I understand now. People are supposed to get divorced the first time they disagree with something their partner does. Or maybe it's that men should control their wives. Idk, y'all seem to have some fantastic points. Thanks.", "role": "darthminimall", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"darthminimall\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_kyjzi\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"How? Were we reading the same story? Are you blaming him for his daughter's brain cancer?\\n\\nEdit: I understand now. People are supposed to get divorced the first time they disagree with something their partner does. Or maybe it's that men should control their wives. Idk, y'all seem to have some fantastic points. Thanks.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>How? Were we reading the same story? Are you blaming him for his daughter's brain cancer?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: I understand now. People are supposed to get divorced the first time they disagree with something their partner does. Or maybe it's that men should control their wives. Idk, y'all seem to have some fantastic points. Thanks.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610253573.0, \"created_utc\": 1610253573.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1610254889.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"giqek54\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, 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\"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 697, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Uuuuh, the part where he says that his wife kicked her out multiple times including the last time.\n\nIt's worded in a way to make you think he didn't do anything, but that's the thing, he was present all those times and didn't do a single thing until after she was kicked out.", "role": "ItIsYeDragon", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ItIsYeDragon\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_6gut615n\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Uuuuh, the part where he says that his wife kicked her out multiple times including the last time.\\n\\nIt's worded in a way to make you think he didn't do anything, but that's the thing, he was present all those times and didn't do a single thing until after she was kicked out.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Uuuuh, the part where he says that his wife kicked her out multiple times including the last time.</p>\\n\\n<p>It's worded in a way to make you think he didn't do anything, but that's the thing, he was present all those times and didn't do a single thing until after she was kicked out.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610254595.0, \"created_utc\": 1610254595.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"giqg7uq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_giqg7uq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_giqek54\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/giqg7uq/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": 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This man is the port in the storm. If this story is accepted at face value then he is the only person who has been a good parent to his wife's daughter.", "role": "BauranGaruda", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"BauranGaruda\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2zl4mv37\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Its awfully easy to say that but this sub would also be rife with people saying \\\"but its not YOUR daughter\\\" if he tried to parent, at all. This man is the port in the storm. If this story is accepted at face value then he is the only person who has been a good parent to his wife's daughter.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Its awfully easy to say that but this sub would also be rife with people saying "but its not YOUR daughter" if he tried to parent, at all. This man is the port in the storm. If this story is accepted at face value then he is the only person who has been a good parent to his wife's daughter.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1610260348.0, \"created_utc\": 1610260348.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"giqodvk\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_ku4ppq\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_giqodvk\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_giqg7uq\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/giqodvk/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 447, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 447, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "f4045d45ca274127", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c7ec97e00148ecff", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "This sub really likes to put stepparents in an unwinnable position. Treat and love the stepkid as if they were your child, but they\u2019re not your child so don\u2019t treat them like they are. It\u2019s like being a stepparent means you get held to the responsibilities of parenthood with none of the rights or reward.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>This sub really likes to put stepparents in an unwinnable position. Treat and love the stepkid as if they were your child, but they\u2019re not your child so don\u2019t treat them like they are. It\u2019s like being a stepparent means you get held to the responsibilities of parenthood with none of the rights or reward.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1610380865.0, "created_utc": 1610380865.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "giw6w36", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_ku4ppq", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_giw6w36", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_giqodvk", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ku4ppq/aita_for_not_giving_my_wife_her_daughters_address/giw6w36/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
|
This is honestly genius.
|
hx80wd
|
1d84be7880a9573b
| 1,595,633,309
| 5
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "Approximately 41 years old (stated being 38 in October 2019, last response June 2022)", "gender": "Female (self-identifies as 'vagina owner,' references being a wife and mother)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Part-time work from home (states 'I am only employed part-time and work from home')", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married with two children; in process of trying to leave abusive 16-year marriage; was married at age 22 to someone 16 years older"}, "interests": ["Relationship dynamics and power imbalances in marriages", "Household labor division and domestic responsibilities", "Age-gap relationships and their potential problems", "Stay-at-home parenting arrangements and expectations", "Recognition of women's financial and domestic contributions", "Identifying red flags and warning signs in relationships", "Parenting challenges and childcare responsibilities", "Emotional abuse and controlling behavior patterns", "Wedding etiquette and family dynamics", "Women's autonomy and financial independence in relationships"], "values": ["Strongly advocates for equitable division of household labor, stating 'why do you have to go out of your way to make it harder for me by making huge fucking messes'", "Believes partners should function as teams, praising her current husband: 'We are a team. And we'd never think to tell anyone otherwise'", "Highly critical of controlling and manipulative behavior, warning 'he monitored and controlled her finances, her communications, and her travels'", "Values honesty and transparency in relationships, opposing lies even for 'confidence boosts'", "Emphasizes importance of recognizing red flags early, advising 'Don't do this to yourself. Walk away now, while you still can'", "Believes women's contributions (financial and domestic) should be acknowledged and valued", "Critical of men who take credit for women's work or minimize their contributions", "Supports women leaving unhealthy relationships despite social or family pressure", "Values mutual respect and equal partnership over traditional gender roles", "Believes childcare is a full-time job deserving respect, stating 'The at-home parent's job is to raise them, not to be a maid'"], "communication": ["Uses personal anecdotes extensively to illustrate points, often beginning with 'Once upon a time there was a woman (spoiler alert: it was me)'", "Employs conversational and direct tone, frequently addressing readers as 'you' or using rhetorical questions", "Varies response length dramatically from brief agreements ('Needs more YTA') to extensive narratives (300+ words)", "Uses humor and emojis strategically, like 'I'll get the dishes and the litter box. \ud83d\ude02\u2764\ufe0f'", "Incorporates formatting elements including paragraph breaks, bold text, and hyperlinks for emphasis", "Shares vulnerable personal experiences about abusive marriage to help others", "Uses strong, emphatic language like 'Fuck that noise. Run.' when warning about red flags", "Frequently validates others' concerns before offering advice or perspective", "Employs Reddit-specific terminology and conventions (NTA, ESH, Y T A formatting)", "Balances empathy with directness, acknowledging complexity while giving clear opinions"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 5 words ('This is honestly genius.') to over 300 words in personal narrative responses", "Average response length approximately 50-80 words for standard comments, 200+ for personal stories", "Frequently uses phrases like 'my husband,' 'NTA,' 'red flags,' 'walk away,' and 'you deserve better'", "Common sentence structures include rhetorical questions, direct imperatives, and first-person narratives", "Uses parenthetical asides frequently for clarification or humor ('(spoiler alert: it was me)')", "Employs varied punctuation including em dashes, ellipses, and exclamation points for emphasis", "Often structures longer responses with clear narrative arc: setup, personal experience, advice/conclusion", "Frequently quotes or references specific parts of original posts to ground responses in context"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for kicking my cousin off of my sister\u2019s wedding Zoom call?\n\nMy [27M] older sister [30F] and her fianc\u00e9 [31M] were planning for over a year for their wedding to be this month. Obviously, they can\u2019t have the wedding as planned, but they still would like to get married, so they decided on a \u201cZoom\u201d wedding where all of the family/friends would just call in to watch the officiant, my sister, and her fianc\u00e9. \n\nMy sister didn\u2019t want to be in charge of hosting the Zoom call because she thought it would stress her out, so she asked me to and I gladly accepted. \n\nShe and her fianc\u00e9 decided to invite everyone they originally wanted to, and it was a very big list. When we were going over the list, my sister mentioned to me that she wanted everyone else to be muted for the majority of the wedding as she was worried that others would talk over her and her fianc\u00e9 and quote \u201covershadow\u201d them on their big day \u201cthat was already scaled down\u201d. However, her and her fianc\u00e9 said that I should unmute everyone at one point so everyone could talk and have a nice time with each other. \n\nFast-forward to the day of the wedding\u2014everyone is muted during the ceremony which goes great, and so I then unmute everyone and ask to please raise a hand if they\u2019d like to talk so it doesn\u2019t get confusing. My cousin (around my age) starts waving his hand crazily, and he\u2019s with his longtime girlfriend (also similar age I guess). He\u2019s a very gregarious guy, so I was not surprised. Then, he says stuff like \u201c(my sister) and (her husband) are such an inspiration, it\u2019s given me the courage to do this....\u201d then turns to his girlfriend and pulls out a box that is the size of an engagement ring box??\n\nI immediately saw this as him trying to steal the spotlight (something that he\u2019s done since we were kids, ex: he would secretly mess up my sister and I\u2019s drawings if the adults would praise ours) and booted him off of the call. Then I quickly announced that my cousin had technical difficulties and would not be joining again. Everyone else accepted this and went about talking, and my sister and her husband did too. \n\nThe rest of the wedding went smoothly\u2014except for the fact that my cousin kept texting me angrily saying that he finally wanted to propose as a surprise with family all around and I ruined it. My aunt and uncle texted me the same. AITA??", "role": "Additional-Pizza-805", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Additional-Pizza-805\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7ednh5lj\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1595618029.0, \"created_utc\": 1595618029.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 3, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hx80wd\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1399, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 37268, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My [27M] older sister [30F] and her fianc\\u00e9 [31M] were planning for over a year for their wedding to be this month. Obviously, they can\\u2019t have the wedding as planned, but they still would like to get married, so they decided on a \\u201cZoom\\u201d wedding where all of the family/friends would just call in to watch the officiant, my sister, and her fianc\\u00e9. \\n\\nMy sister didn\\u2019t want to be in charge of hosting the Zoom call because she thought it would stress her out, so she asked me to and I gladly accepted. \\n\\nShe and her fianc\\u00e9 decided to invite everyone they originally wanted to, and it was a very big list. When we were going over the list, my sister mentioned to me that she wanted everyone else to be muted for the majority of the wedding as she was worried that others would talk over her and her fianc\\u00e9 and quote \\u201covershadow\\u201d them on their big day \\u201cthat was already scaled down\\u201d. However, her and her fianc\\u00e9 said that I should unmute everyone at one point so everyone could talk and have a nice time with each other. \\n\\nFast-forward to the day of the wedding\\u2014everyone is muted during the ceremony which goes great, and so I then unmute everyone and ask to please raise a hand if they\\u2019d like to talk so it doesn\\u2019t get confusing. My cousin (around my age) starts waving his hand crazily, and he\\u2019s with his longtime girlfriend (also similar age I guess). He\\u2019s a very gregarious guy, so I was not surprised. Then, he says stuff like \\u201c(my sister) and (her husband) are such an inspiration, it\\u2019s given me the courage to do this....\\u201d then turns to his girlfriend and pulls out a box that is the size of an engagement ring box??\\n\\nI immediately saw this as him trying to steal the spotlight (something that he\\u2019s done since we were kids, ex: he would secretly mess up my sister and I\\u2019s drawings if the adults would praise ours) and booted him off of the call. Then I quickly announced that my cousin had technical difficulties and would not be joining again. Everyone else accepted this and went about talking, and my sister and her husband did too. \\n\\nThe rest of the wedding went smoothly\\u2014except for the fact that my cousin kept texting me angrily saying that he finally wanted to propose as a surprise with family all around and I ruined it. My aunt and uncle texted me the same. AITA??\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My [27M] older sister [30F] and her fianc\\u00e9 [31M] were planning for over a year for their wedding to be this month. Obviously, they can\\u2019t have the wedding as planned, but they still would like to get married, so they decided on a \\u201cZoom\\u201d wedding where all of the family/friends would just call in to watch the officiant, my sister, and her fianc\\u00e9. </p>\\n\\n<p>My sister didn\\u2019t want to be in charge of hosting the Zoom call because she thought it would stress her out, so she asked me to and I gladly accepted. </p>\\n\\n<p>She and her fianc\\u00e9 decided to invite everyone they originally wanted to, and it was a very big list. When we were going over the list, my sister mentioned to me that she wanted everyone else to be muted for the majority of the wedding as she was worried that others would talk over her and her fianc\\u00e9 and quote \\u201covershadow\\u201d them on their big day \\u201cthat was already scaled down\\u201d. However, her and her fianc\\u00e9 said that I should unmute everyone at one point so everyone could talk and have a nice time with each other. </p>\\n\\n<p>Fast-forward to the day of the wedding\\u2014everyone is muted during the ceremony which goes great, and so I then unmute everyone and ask to please raise a hand if they\\u2019d like to talk so it doesn\\u2019t get confusing. My cousin (around my age) starts waving his hand crazily, and he\\u2019s with his longtime girlfriend (also similar age I guess). He\\u2019s a very gregarious guy, so I was not surprised. Then, he says stuff like \\u201c(my sister) and (her husband) are such an inspiration, it\\u2019s given me the courage to do this....\\u201d then turns to his girlfriend and pulls out a box that is the size of an engagement ring box??</p>\\n\\n<p>I immediately saw this as him trying to steal the spotlight (something that he\\u2019s done since we were kids, ex: he would secretly mess up my sister and I\\u2019s drawings if the adults would praise ours) and booted him off of the call. Then I quickly announced that my cousin had technical difficulties and would not be joining again. Everyone else accepted this and went about talking, and my sister and her husband did too. </p>\\n\\n<p>The rest of the wedding went smoothly\\u2014except for the fact that my cousin kept texting me angrily saying that he finally wanted to propose as a surprise with family all around and I ruined it. My aunt and uncle texted me the same. AITA??</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for kicking my cousin off of my sister\\u2019s wedding Zoom call?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 37268, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA!!! THANK GOD YOU DID THAT! Your cousin has issues, who would propose at another persons wedding? that\u2019s the definition of overshadowing that your sis didn\u2019t want. If I were your sister, I wouldn\u2019t even know how to thank you.", "role": "drseussgrandchild", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"drseussgrandchild\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [11]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7dw4rjeq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA!!! THANK GOD YOU DID THAT! Your cousin has issues, who would propose at another persons wedding? that\\u2019s the definition of overshadowing that your sis didn\\u2019t want. If I were your sister, I wouldn\\u2019t even know how to thank you.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA!!! THANK GOD YOU DID THAT! Your cousin has issues, who would propose at another persons wedding? that\\u2019s the definition of overshadowing that your sis didn\\u2019t want. If I were your sister, I wouldn\\u2019t even know how to thank you.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595618258.0, \"created_utc\": 1595618258.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fz4dqje\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fz4dqje\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/fz4dqje/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 19283, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 19283, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Who would do that? A self-centered asshole, that\u2019s who.", "role": "katecrime", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"katecrime\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [3]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3o7rc1vv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Who would do that? A self-centered asshole, that\\u2019s who.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Who would do that? A self-centered asshole, that\\u2019s who.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595624196.0, \"created_utc\": 1595624196.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fz4q01z\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fz4q01z\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fz4dqje\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/fz4q01z/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5906, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5906, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "It's a zoom wedding too, the lowest effort proposal ever, right? It just sounds incredibly awkward to receive a proposal in front of a webcam, with an audience, in your own home, as a surprise. Is it just me? Could be, but I would definitely not have been prepared if my husband had proposed suddenly, in front of all *his* relatives, while trying to distance-party.\n\nBtw for anyone else zoom weddinging, I suggest a livestream with a hosted discord server(voice only) instead of zoom, perhaps with chat rooms set up like reception tables if there are so many guests. You could even have a room titled \"messages to the couple\" where tipsy guests at home in their pjs can go in and ramble their congrats and well wishes to a recorded channel(or a zoom for just that if you prefer video messages). But that is simply my preference as a would-be guest that is a bit camera shy.\n\nEdit to add, just thinking how I'd plan my zoom wedding and I would also have a peanut gallery voice chat where the people closest to us could chat about us, like how great we look, how happy we are, that time tequila got the best of us and we lost the bouncy house deposit, etc. That would be an awesome mystery science theater-like voice overlay special feature for the wedding video.", "role": "riskyOtter", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"riskyOtter\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4pragf7g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"It's a zoom wedding too, the lowest effort proposal ever, right? It just sounds incredibly awkward to receive a proposal in front of a webcam, with an audience, in your own home, as a surprise. Is it just me? Could be, but I would definitely not have been prepared if my husband had proposed suddenly, in front of all *his* relatives, while trying to distance-party.\\n\\nBtw for anyone else zoom weddinging, I suggest a livestream with a hosted discord server(voice only) instead of zoom, perhaps with chat rooms set up like reception tables if there are so many guests. You could even have a room titled \\\"messages to the couple\\\" where tipsy guests at home in their pjs can go in and ramble their congrats and well wishes to a recorded channel(or a zoom for just that if you prefer video messages). But that is simply my preference as a would-be guest that is a bit camera shy.\\n\\nEdit to add, just thinking how I'd plan my zoom wedding and I would also have a peanut gallery voice chat where the people closest to us could chat about us, like how great we look, how happy we are, that time tequila got the best of us and we lost the bouncy house deposit, etc. That would be an awesome mystery science theater-like voice overlay special feature for the wedding video.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>It's a zoom wedding too, the lowest effort proposal ever, right? It just sounds incredibly awkward to receive a proposal in front of a webcam, with an audience, in your own home, as a surprise. Is it just me? Could be, but I would definitely not have been prepared if my husband had proposed suddenly, in front of all <em>his</em> relatives, while trying to distance-party.</p>\\n\\n<p>Btw for anyone else zoom weddinging, I suggest a livestream with a hosted discord server(voice only) instead of zoom, perhaps with chat rooms set up like reception tables if there are so many guests. You could even have a room titled "messages to the couple" where tipsy guests at home in their pjs can go in and ramble their congrats and well wishes to a recorded channel(or a zoom for just that if you prefer video messages). But that is simply my preference as a would-be guest that is a bit camera shy.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit to add, just thinking how I'd plan my zoom wedding and I would also have a peanut gallery voice chat where the people closest to us could chat about us, like how great we look, how happy we are, that time tequila got the best of us and we lost the bouncy house deposit, etc. That would be an awesome mystery science theater-like voice overlay special feature for the wedding video.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595625020.0, \"created_utc\": 1595625020.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1595626268.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fz4ro03\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fz4ro03\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fz4q01z\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/fz4ro03/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 7340, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 7340, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Wait! You\u2019re allowed to have bouncy houses at a wedding!? My mind is blown.", "role": "CcSeaAndAwayWeGo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"CcSeaAndAwayWeGo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5ju9g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Wait! You\\u2019re allowed to have bouncy houses at a wedding!? My mind is blown.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Wait! You\\u2019re allowed to have bouncy houses at a wedding!? My mind is blown.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595628541.0, \"created_utc\": 1595628541.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fz4yill\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hx80wd\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fz4yill\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fz4ro03\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/fz4yill/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 44, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 44, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "1d84be7880a9573b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [9]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "99d3fbfa068e2120", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "This is honestly genius.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>This is honestly genius.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1595633309.0, "created_utc": 1595633309.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fz57aro", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hx80wd", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fz57aro", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fz4yill", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hx80wd/aita_for_kicking_my_cousin_off_of_my_sisters/fz57aro/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}
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NTA the THERAPIST is. That's absolutely not something that should be raised for the FIRST TIME in front of your WIFE. What on earth were they thinking?! You should have been able to work through this on your own before your gut reaction tainted the water. Gut reactions are very often slightly incorrect in extremely important ways.
Are you in private therapy? Can you afford private therapy? I think private therapy with a DIFFERENT provider might help you.
Your wife is acting like an Asshole but I almost don't blame her ... The telling it to the kids takes it across the finishing line for me though. 6 is more than old enough for that to be damaging, it was irresponsible and selfish of her. Disgusting, childish behaviour.
What I think you could possibly work through in solo therapy is the difference between not wanting kids, and struggling to find your place in an extremely complicated society amid social upheaval as a father and a person. Regret is a symptom of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction is very hard but not impossible to overcome but it takes a lot of self reflection to even understand what that means for you. In this case it may very well mean divorce and that might not be the worst thing in the world to happen.
I think it is wrong (not so much that you're wrong) to resent your wife for twins. In general I would absolutely say you're an Asshole for saying to your wife you regret the children but you were trapped into it so like, it's not on you. You're not an Asshole for being dissatisfied but having discovered it you would be an Asshole for continuing to be miserable while not trying to improve your satisfaction because that's condemning your kids to a miserable upbringing, provided for or not... If satisfaction includes divorce, so be it.
But for the love of God spend so much time with your 6 year old
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[{"content": "AITA for admitting I regret having children.\n\nMy wife and I are both 42 and in marriage counselling after our marriage basically went to shit after having kids (6 and 4 year old twins). A lot of issues and disagreements have come up in our marriage that have driven us apart and I have been working through my resentment that going back for one more baby resulted in twins, including one which we are pretty sure has ADHD and ODD and is a *nightmare* child). \n\nOur counsellor asked me if I would have children if I had to do it all over again and I said \"honestly, no\". \n\nI love my kids and would take a bullet for them, but if I had the chance to go back to 24 when I finished grad school and could do my life over again, I wouldn't choose fatherhood. It is not the fulfilling experience everyone claims and while I love my children, the sacrifices are not worth it to me. I had a much happier life before having children and have gone from someone who loved life to someone who just.....makes it through the day, working a job he hates to provide for the wife and kids while silently wishing this wasn't my life. \n\nMy wife is *furious* and taking it the wrong way and even told our 6 year old \"daddy wishes you were never born\" which makes me livid. You don't tell the kid that.\n\nYes, I wish I never had kids, but I do love them, would never hurt them or want to upset them. And I didn't say it to/in front of my kids and I never ever will. I said it in marriage counselling, what should be a safe space to talk about feelings. \n\nIt has become a huge fight, our marriage is not going to be saved now, and I know she will try and use this against my in divorce court to try and get sole custody and take everything and lie to the kids who I do love and still want to be a Dad to them. She is incapable of understanding that you can love your kids but also feel that parenthood was the best choice for you. \n \nAITA for saying it though?\n\nEdit: Ok this blew the fuck up and there is no way I can reply to everyone's questions. But to address a couple I have 3 kids not 4. One child is 6, two are four. English is not my first language and I forgot the comma, and even so that sentence would have been much clearer in my native language. \n\nWhen I say I resent having twins, I am not saying it is my wife's fault! But 3 children is more than we budgeted/bargained for and I need to pick up a lot overtime I that I would not have had to pick up if we just had 2 kids, and that is what I resent (that and the child with ADHD/ODD). My life is basically work and dealing with my kids. And do you know what ODD is? This child always refuses to do what is asked, gets angry and throws a tantrum when asked to do something he doesn't want to do, hits and kicks others, deliberately annoys and hurts others, is extremely spiteful, screams and kicks me constantly. ALWAYS. All day. Every day. It's exhausting and it is hell. \n\nYeah. I would't have him again. Most people wouldn't if they had to raise him. \n\nJust because I wouldn't do this over again doesn't mean I'm not committed to being a good dad and being present in their lives. I just would not do it over again if I could redo my adult life. \n\nMy first kid was not born at 24, I just said that because if I could do my whole post-University life differently, I would change some other things too (mainly career) and to be honest, after all this, I regret marrying my wife, which is why I said it that way.\n\nRegarding calling the ADHD/ODD twin a nightmare, go google what that means. It is very difficult to manage and he has even been kicked out of three daycare places because they could not handle him and my parents even refuse to babysit him. We never get a break from home and no one can handle time.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1575807869.0, \"created_utc\": 1575807869.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1575835612.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"e7t57k\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_e7t57k\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 5105, \"num_crossposts\": 13, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 36015, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My wife and I are both 42 and in marriage counselling after our marriage basically went to shit after having kids (6 and 4 year old twins). A lot of issues and disagreements have come up in our marriage that have driven us apart and I have been working through my resentment that going back for one more baby resulted in twins, including one which we are pretty sure has ADHD and ODD and is a *nightmare* child). \\n\\nOur counsellor asked me if I would have children if I had to do it all over again and I said \\\"honestly, no\\\". \\n\\nI love my kids and would take a bullet for them, but if I had the chance to go back to 24 when I finished grad school and could do my life over again, I wouldn't choose fatherhood. It is not the fulfilling experience everyone claims and while I love my children, the sacrifices are not worth it to me. I had a much happier life before having children and have gone from someone who loved life to someone who just.....makes it through the day, working a job he hates to provide for the wife and kids while silently wishing this wasn't my life. \\n\\nMy wife is *furious* and taking it the wrong way and even told our 6 year old \\\"daddy wishes you were never born\\\" which makes me livid. You don't tell the kid that.\\n\\nYes, I wish I never had kids, but I do love them, would never hurt them or want to upset them. And I didn't say it to/in front of my kids and I never ever will. I said it in marriage counselling, what should be a safe space to talk about feelings. \\n\\nIt has become a huge fight, our marriage is not going to be saved now, and I know she will try and use this against my in divorce court to try and get sole custody and take everything and lie to the kids who I do love and still want to be a Dad to them. She is incapable of understanding that you can love your kids but also feel that parenthood was the best choice for you. \\n \\nAITA for saying it though?\\n\\nEdit: Ok this blew the fuck up and there is no way I can reply to everyone's questions. But to address a couple I have 3 kids not 4. One child is 6, two are four. English is not my first language and I forgot the comma, and even so that sentence would have been much clearer in my native language. \\n\\nWhen I say I resent having twins, I am not saying it is my wife's fault! But 3 children is more than we budgeted/bargained for and I need to pick up a lot overtime I that I would not have had to pick up if we just had 2 kids, and that is what I resent (that and the child with ADHD/ODD). My life is basically work and dealing with my kids. And do you know what ODD is? This child always refuses to do what is asked, gets angry and throws a tantrum when asked to do something he doesn't want to do, hits and kicks others, deliberately annoys and hurts others, is extremely spiteful, screams and kicks me constantly. ALWAYS. All day. Every day. It's exhausting and it is hell. \\n\\nYeah. I would't have him again. Most people wouldn't if they had to raise him. \\n\\nJust because I wouldn't do this over again doesn't mean I'm not committed to being a good dad and being present in their lives. I just would not do it over again if I could redo my adult life. \\n\\nMy first kid was not born at 24, I just said that because if I could do my whole post-University life differently, I would change some other things too (mainly career) and to be honest, after all this, I regret marrying my wife, which is why I said it that way.\\n\\nRegarding calling the ADHD/ODD twin a nightmare, go google what that means. It is very difficult to manage and he has even been kicked out of three daycare places because they could not handle him and my parents even refuse to babysit him. We never get a break from home and no one can handle time.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My wife and I are both 42 and in marriage counselling after our marriage basically went to shit after having kids (6 and 4 year old twins). A lot of issues and disagreements have come up in our marriage that have driven us apart and I have been working through my resentment that going back for one more baby resulted in twins, including one which we are pretty sure has ADHD and ODD and is a <em>nightmare</em> child). </p>\\n\\n<p>Our counsellor asked me if I would have children if I had to do it all over again and I said "honestly, no". </p>\\n\\n<p>I love my kids and would take a bullet for them, but if I had the chance to go back to 24 when I finished grad school and could do my life over again, I wouldn't choose fatherhood. It is not the fulfilling experience everyone claims and while I love my children, the sacrifices are not worth it to me. I had a much happier life before having children and have gone from someone who loved life to someone who just.....makes it through the day, working a job he hates to provide for the wife and kids while silently wishing this wasn't my life. </p>\\n\\n<p>My wife is <em>furious</em> and taking it the wrong way and even told our 6 year old "daddy wishes you were never born" which makes me livid. You don't tell the kid that.</p>\\n\\n<p>Yes, I wish I never had kids, but I do love them, would never hurt them or want to upset them. And I didn't say it to/in front of my kids and I never ever will. I said it in marriage counselling, what should be a safe space to talk about feelings. </p>\\n\\n<p>It has become a huge fight, our marriage is not going to be saved now, and I know she will try and use this against my in divorce court to try and get sole custody and take everything and lie to the kids who I do love and still want to be a Dad to them. She is incapable of understanding that you can love your kids but also feel that parenthood was the best choice for you. </p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for saying it though?</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: Ok this blew the fuck up and there is no way I can reply to everyone's questions. But to address a couple I have 3 kids not 4. One child is 6, two are four. English is not my first language and I forgot the comma, and even so that sentence would have been much clearer in my native language. </p>\\n\\n<p>When I say I resent having twins, I am not saying it is my wife's fault! But 3 children is more than we budgeted/bargained for and I need to pick up a lot overtime I that I would not have had to pick up if we just had 2 kids, and that is what I resent (that and the child with ADHD/ODD). My life is basically work and dealing with my kids. And do you know what ODD is? This child always refuses to do what is asked, gets angry and throws a tantrum when asked to do something he doesn't want to do, hits and kicks others, deliberately annoys and hurts others, is extremely spiteful, screams and kicks me constantly. ALWAYS. All day. Every day. It's exhausting and it is hell. </p>\\n\\n<p>Yeah. I would't have him again. Most people wouldn't if they had to raise him. </p>\\n\\n<p>Just because I wouldn't do this over again doesn't mean I'm not committed to being a good dad and being present in their lives. I just would not do it over again if I could redo my adult life. </p>\\n\\n<p>My first kid was not born at 24, I just said that because if I could do my whole post-University life differently, I would change some other things too (mainly career) and to be honest, after all this, I regret marrying my wife, which is why I said it that way.</p>\\n\\n<p>Regarding calling the ADHD/ODD twin a nightmare, go google what that means. It is very difficult to manage and he has even been kicked out of three daycare places because they could not handle him and my parents even refuse to babysit him. We never get a break from home and no one can handle time.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049891, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_e7t57k\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for admitting I regret having children.\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 36015, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.88, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "5cd9050b2a4bb7f2", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#eeb800", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "edf63c82-a710-11e9-959b-0eb47b028ff2", "author_flair_text": "Craptain [161]", "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e94b12db06ccd80b", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA the THERAPIST is. That's absolutely not something that should be raised for the FIRST TIME in front of your WIFE. What on earth were they thinking?! You should have been able to work through this on your own before your gut reaction tainted the water. Gut reactions are very often slightly incorrect in extremely important ways.\n\nAre you in private therapy? Can you afford private therapy? I think private therapy with a DIFFERENT provider might help you.\n\nYour wife is acting like an Asshole but I almost don't blame her ... The telling it to the kids takes it across the finishing line for me though. 6 is more than old enough for that to be damaging, it was irresponsible and selfish of her. Disgusting, childish behaviour. \n\nWhat I think you could possibly work through in solo therapy is the difference between not wanting kids, and struggling to find your place in an extremely complicated society amid social upheaval as a father and a person. Regret is a symptom of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction is very hard but not impossible to overcome but it takes a lot of self reflection to even understand what that means for you. In this case it may very well mean divorce and that might not be the worst thing in the world to happen. \n\nI think it is wrong (not so much that you're wrong) to resent your wife for twins. In general I would absolutely say you're an Asshole for saying to your wife you regret the children but you were trapped into it so like, it's not on you. You're not an Asshole for being dissatisfied but having discovered it you would be an Asshole for continuing to be miserable while not trying to improve your satisfaction because that's condemning your kids to a miserable upbringing, provided for or not... If satisfaction includes divorce, so be it. \n\nBut for the love of God spend so much time with your 6 year old", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA the THERAPIST is. That's absolutely not something that should be raised for the FIRST TIME in front of your WIFE. What on earth were they thinking?! You should have been able to work through this on your own before your gut reaction tainted the water. Gut reactions are very often slightly incorrect in extremely important ways.</p>\n\n<p>Are you in private therapy? Can you afford private therapy? I think private therapy with a DIFFERENT provider might help you.</p>\n\n<p>Your wife is acting like an Asshole but I almost don't blame her ... The telling it to the kids takes it across the finishing line for me though. 6 is more than old enough for that to be damaging, it was irresponsible and selfish of her. Disgusting, childish behaviour. </p>\n\n<p>What I think you could possibly work through in solo therapy is the difference between not wanting kids, and struggling to find your place in an extremely complicated society amid social upheaval as a father and a person. Regret is a symptom of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction is very hard but not impossible to overcome but it takes a lot of self reflection to even understand what that means for you. In this case it may very well mean divorce and that might not be the worst thing in the world to happen. </p>\n\n<p>I think it is wrong (not so much that you're wrong) to resent your wife for twins. In general I would absolutely say you're an Asshole for saying to your wife you regret the children but you were trapped into it so like, it's not on you. You're not an Asshole for being dissatisfied but having discovered it you would be an Asshole for continuing to be miserable while not trying to improve your satisfaction because that's condemning your kids to a miserable upbringing, provided for or not... If satisfaction includes divorce, so be it. </p>\n\n<p>But for the love of God spend so much time with your 6 year old</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575809511.0, "created_utc": 1575809511.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1575824275.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa4xqvh", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa4xqvh", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_e7t57k", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa4xqvh/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "1f199926231025c8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [4]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b1226c2977ee0858", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I am astounded that the therapist asked a question like that, what good could possibly come of it? Made me wonder if this might be a shitpost actually, but some people really are terrible at their jobs.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I am astounded that the therapist asked a question like that, what good could possibly come of it? Made me wonder if this might be a shitpost actually, but some people really are terrible at their jobs.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575818293.0, "created_utc": 1575818293.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa5tppw", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa5tppw", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa4xqvh", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa5tppw/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3e879e0557037b95", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "a1d5608dc6086555", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "**RAPE TRIGGER WARNING**\n\nI once had a therapist suggest that I \"lead my rapist on\" and am \"partially responsible\" for my rape because I'd been texting him in the weeks leading up to it. \n\nI was texting him yes........about the GROUP PROJECT we were working on for school. \n\nAn even if I was flirting with him, that still doesn't give him the right to grab my by my hair, tell me he'll \"kill me\" if I scream, force himself onto me and have sex with me without my consent when I was crying and begging him to stop.\n\nSome therapists are awful.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p><strong>RAPE TRIGGER WARNING</strong></p>\n\n<p>I once had a therapist suggest that I "lead my rapist on" and am "partially responsible" for my rape because I'd been texting him in the weeks leading up to it. </p>\n\n<p>I was texting him yes........about the GROUP PROJECT we were working on for school. </p>\n\n<p>An even if I was flirting with him, that still doesn't give him the right to grab my by my hair, tell me he'll "kill me" if I scream, force himself onto me and have sex with me without my consent when I was crying and begging him to stop.</p>\n\n<p>Some therapists are awful.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575825111.0, "created_utc": 1575825111.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa6iyv4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa6iyv4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa5tppw", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa6iyv4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "1f199926231025c8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [4]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b1226c2977ee0858", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Fucking hell, that is terrible. That therapist deserves to be fired (preferably out of a canon). I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I hope you've got more support now.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Fucking hell, that is terrible. That therapist deserves to be fired (preferably out of a canon). I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I hope you've got more support now.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575826731.0, "created_utc": 1575826731.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa6octi", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa6octi", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa6iyv4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa6octi/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 19, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 19, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ca1b55513b3ee63d", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "14bcb82c693e9487", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "What happened to you is horrible and that therapist is horrible.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>What happened to you is horrible and that therapist is horrible.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575833163.0, "created_utc": 1575833163.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa7b47l", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa7b47l", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa6iyv4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa7b47l/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 5, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 5, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 25, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 25, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "bd541cbc8f98fba8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [5]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "18c3ec9202a1d63c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "My therapist suggested that I was okay after 3 people I knew died within 10 days of each other because I didn\u2019t cry while talking about it. I had literally *just* mentioned that I felt really shitty. I just didn\u2019t cry because I\u2019m uncomfortable crying in front of others, but that doesn\u2019t mean I didn\u2019t cry a lot in private. What an ass.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>My therapist suggested that I was okay after 3 people I knew died within 10 days of each other because I didn\u2019t cry while talking about it. I had literally <em>just</em> mentioned that I felt really shitty. I just didn\u2019t cry because I\u2019m uncomfortable crying in front of others, but that doesn\u2019t mean I didn\u2019t cry a lot in private. What an ass.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575824446.0, "created_utc": 1575824446.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa6gedf", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa6gedf", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa5tppw", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa6gedf/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 19, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 19, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "9a11804acd16e7b8", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "157276775b1f7a59", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oh I believe it 100%. I\u2019ve seen some truly awful mental health professionals.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oh I believe it 100%. I\u2019ve seen some truly awful mental health professionals.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575821480.0, "created_utc": 1575821480.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa66b3h", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa66b3h", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa5tppw", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa66b3h/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 108, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 108, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 236, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 236, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> FIRST TIME\n\nWhere are you getting that it's the first time?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>FIRST TIME</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>Where are you getting that it's the first time?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1575835512.0, "created_utc": 1575835512.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fa7k389", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_e7t57k", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fa7k389", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fa4xqvh", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e7t57k/aita_for_admitting_i_regret_having_children/fa7k389/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 5, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 5, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 513, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 513, "user_reports": []}
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Not only possible embarrassment, but at a public pool could've gotten her arrested.
|
d7yuot
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a6b98ed14aa3a416
| 1,569,201,894
| 4
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and family dynamics, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Legal implications and consequences of actions, including CPS involvement and public indecency laws", "Consumer products related to privacy and anti-surveillance technology, such as Betabrand's reflective clothing", "Systemic oppression and how government systems can impact individuals, referencing academic works like 'Algorithms of Oppression'", "Child welfare and protection from manipulation or abuse", "Identifying manipulation tactics and gaslighting in relationships", "Personal accountability and calling out inappropriate behavior", "Power dynamics in relationships, particularly regarding gender roles and expectations", "Privacy rights and bodily autonomy, especially for minors", "Social media influence and its impact on children's privacy", "Financial abuse and economic power imbalances in relationships", "Maturity levels and emotional intelligence in conflict situations"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability, stating 'you didn't make Matt look bad, he did that all himself'", "Recognition that actions have consequences, noting a see-through bikini 'could've gotten her arrested' at a public pool", "Emphasis on consent and bodily autonomy, particularly for children and vulnerable individuals", "Concern about long-term systemic impacts, warning how 'a report with CPS can sometimes...really fuck up your life'", "Skepticism toward manipulation and excuse-making in relationships", "Value for protecting children from exploitation, supporting teens who resist being photographed for social media", "Belief that government systems should not be weaponized for personal vendettas, criticizing sister for 'taking a social worker's time away from investigating actual child welfare issues'", "Recognition of emotional maturity regardless of age, observing 'Kids sound more mature than OP's husband tbh'", "Suspicion of financial mooching and deadbeat behavior in relationships", "Awareness that 'everyone who knows this man best do not trust him with money' is a significant red flag", "Support for calling out condescending and tone-deaf behavior", "Belief that people should be held accountable for their words and actions without excuses"], "communication": ["Uses clear, direct language with moderate sentence complexity", "Employs casual internet abbreviations like 'tbh' (to be honest) naturally in responses", "Provides specific evidence and reasoning, such as 'Even not knowing your real trauma, what he said was incredibly condescending and tone deaf'", "References external sources when relevant, recommending books like 'Algorithms of Oppression'", "Maintains a matter-of-fact, analytical tone rather than emotional or dramatic", "Often adds practical considerations others might overlook, noting legal or systemic implications", "Uses conditional language to express possibilities: 'could've gotten her arrested', 'can sometimes really fuck up your life'", "Writes responses ranging from brief observations (10-15 words) to detailed explanations (80-100 words)", "Frequently begins with judgment abbreviations like 'NTA' when appropriate", "Employs rhetorical questions to make points: 'BIL and SIL must be wondering where he got the money to pay for nice jewelry'", "Uses emphasis through word choice rather than excessive punctuation or capitalization", "Demonstrates ability to synthesize information from multiple parts of a story to draw conclusions"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-50 words, with range from 10 words minimum to 100 words maximum", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment in AITA subreddit contexts", "Common phrases include variations of personal accountability ('he did that all himself', 'she did that all herself')", "Uses 'tbh' (to be honest) as a casual conversational marker", "Employs conditional language with 'could've', 'can sometimes', 'must be' to express possibilities", "References specific entities and proper nouns (Betabrand, CPS, 'Algorithms of Oppression')", "Sentence structure varies from simple declarative statements to complex conditional sentences", "Frequently includes cause-and-effect reasoning in responses", "Uses direct quotes from original posts to support arguments", "Demonstrates consistent paragraph structure, typically 2-4 sentences per response"]}
|
[{"content": "Aita for wearing the \u201cjoke\u201d bikini my friend got me?\n\nSo it was my birthday couple months ago. Had a party. Got some gifts. My friend \u201cMandy\u201d for me a \u201csuper cute bikini\u201d. I liked it. Said thanks. She had ripped the tags off but whatever. \n\nAnyway. Went to the community pool with my roommate. Wore bikini. Got in the water. Roommate immediately is like uhm girl.... I look and see that this bikini is now kinda see thru. \n\nHaha good joke Mandy. \n\nAnyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her bf and a few others. Most leave and we\u2019re still hanging out. I\u2019m like hey, what if we get in your hot tub? I go change after them. And meet her bf in the hot tub she\u2019s getting new drinks. I hop in. Immediately, he\u2019s looking at my chest. I pretend I don\u2019t notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few min after. And just looks in shock. Eventually gets in. \u201cUhh is that the one I bought?\u201d Yeah I love it. I wear it everywhere. Make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, etc. and she\u2019s just like \u201coh\u201d. \n\nWe\u2019re in the tub for 20-30. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like. \u201cUhm I\u2019m sorry thought you\u2019d notice. But it goes kinda see thru\u201d. I\u2019m like yeah I know why\u2019d you buy me a ducking see thru bathing suit? \u201cShe\u2019s like it\u2019s a joke. Wait you knew? So you just spent last 30\u2019 flashing my bf on purpose?\u201d I reply I\u2019m just wearing my birthday gift from her. \n\n\nAnyway. Aita?", "role": "aitabikini", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"aitabikini\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4n9mqxl5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1569197811.0, \"created_utc\": 1569197811.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 14, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"d7yuot\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_d7yuot\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3982, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 50958, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"So it was my birthday couple months ago. Had a party. Got some gifts. My friend \\u201cMandy\\u201d for me a \\u201csuper cute bikini\\u201d. I liked it. Said thanks. She had ripped the tags off but whatever. \\n\\nAnyway. Went to the community pool with my roommate. Wore bikini. Got in the water. Roommate immediately is like uhm girl.... I look and see that this bikini is now kinda see thru. \\n\\nHaha good joke Mandy. \\n\\nAnyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her bf and a few others. Most leave and we\\u2019re still hanging out. I\\u2019m like hey, what if we get in your hot tub? I go change after them. And meet her bf in the hot tub she\\u2019s getting new drinks. I hop in. Immediately, he\\u2019s looking at my chest. I pretend I don\\u2019t notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few min after. And just looks in shock. Eventually gets in. \\u201cUhh is that the one I bought?\\u201d Yeah I love it. I wear it everywhere. Make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, etc. and she\\u2019s just like \\u201coh\\u201d. \\n\\nWe\\u2019re in the tub for 20-30. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like. \\u201cUhm I\\u2019m sorry thought you\\u2019d notice. But it goes kinda see thru\\u201d. I\\u2019m like yeah I know why\\u2019d you buy me a ducking see thru bathing suit? \\u201cShe\\u2019s like it\\u2019s a joke. Wait you knew? So you just spent last 30\\u2019 flashing my bf on purpose?\\u201d I reply I\\u2019m just wearing my birthday gift from her. \\n\\n\\nAnyway. Aita?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>So it was my birthday couple months ago. Had a party. Got some gifts. My friend \\u201cMandy\\u201d for me a \\u201csuper cute bikini\\u201d. I liked it. Said thanks. She had ripped the tags off but whatever. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway. Went to the community pool with my roommate. Wore bikini. Got in the water. Roommate immediately is like uhm girl.... I look and see that this bikini is now kinda see thru. </p>\\n\\n<p>Haha good joke Mandy. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her bf and a few others. Most leave and we\\u2019re still hanging out. I\\u2019m like hey, what if we get in your hot tub? I go change after them. And meet her bf in the hot tub she\\u2019s getting new drinks. I hop in. Immediately, he\\u2019s looking at my chest. I pretend I don\\u2019t notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few min after. And just looks in shock. Eventually gets in. \\u201cUhh is that the one I bought?\\u201d Yeah I love it. I wear it everywhere. Make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, etc. and she\\u2019s just like \\u201coh\\u201d. </p>\\n\\n<p>We\\u2019re in the tub for 20-30. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like. \\u201cUhm I\\u2019m sorry thought you\\u2019d notice. But it goes kinda see thru\\u201d. I\\u2019m like yeah I know why\\u2019d you buy me a ducking see thru bathing suit? \\u201cShe\\u2019s like it\\u2019s a joke. Wait you knew? So you just spent last 30\\u2019 flashing my bf on purpose?\\u201d I reply I\\u2019m just wearing my birthday gift from her. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway. Aita?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_d7yuot\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"Aita for wearing the \\u201cjoke\\u201d bikini my friend got me?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 50958, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.86, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA\n\n\nWELL PLAYED!!!\n\nYou deserve an award, but I\u2019m broke. So here\u2019s an emoji instead. \ud83c\udfc5 \ud83c\udf96 \ud83e\udd47\n\nEDIT:\n\nThanks for the award!\n\nEDIT 2:\n\nThanks for the awards. Yes, I have now been able to give OP an award. Happy days and awesome sauce to all!!", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA\\n\\n\\nWELL PLAYED!!!\\n\\nYou deserve an award, but I\\u2019m broke. So here\\u2019s an emoji instead. \\ud83c\\udfc5 \\ud83c\\udf96 \\ud83e\\udd47\\n\\nEDIT:\\n\\nThanks for the award!\\n\\nEDIT 2:\\n\\nThanks for the awards. Yes, I have now been able to give OP an award. Happy days and awesome sauce to all!!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA</p>\\n\\n<p>WELL PLAYED!!!</p>\\n\\n<p>You deserve an award, but I\\u2019m broke. So here\\u2019s an emoji instead. \\ud83c\\udfc5 \\ud83c\\udf96 \\ud83e\\udd47</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT:</p>\\n\\n<p>Thanks for the award!</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT 2:</p>\\n\\n<p>Thanks for the awards. Yes, I have now been able to give OP an award. Happy days and awesome sauce to all!!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1569197918.0, \"created_utc\": 1569197918.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1569209932.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f15x6u8\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, 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\"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 36538, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Um, you know those are see through?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Um, you know those are see through?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Um, you know those are see through?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1569197995.0, \"created_utc\": 1569197995.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, 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\"parent_id\": \"t1_f15x6u8\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f15xc7r/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5325, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5325, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yes. That\u2019s the point. Friend spent her money on a gag gift she thought was gonna embarrass OP. \n\nOP flung it in her face by wearing them out and in front of friend\u2019s BF. HILARIOUS!\n\nI\u2019m proud that OP is comfortable with her body and a come back!\n\nLOLOLOLOLILOL", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yes. That\\u2019s the point. Friend spent her money on a gag gift she thought was gonna embarrass OP. \\n\\nOP flung it in her face by wearing them out and in front of friend\\u2019s BF. HILARIOUS!\\n\\nI\\u2019m proud that OP is comfortable with her body and a come back!\\n\\nLOLOLOLOLILOL\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yes. That\\u2019s the point. Friend spent her money on a gag gift she thought was gonna embarrass OP. </p>\\n\\n<p>OP flung it in her face by wearing them out and in front of friend\\u2019s BF. HILARIOUS!</p>\\n\\n<p>I\\u2019m proud that OP is comfortable with her body and a come back!</p>\\n\\n<p>LOLOLOLOLILOL</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1569199099.0, \"created_utc\": 1569199099.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f15zgtq\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_d7yuot\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f15zgtq\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_f15xc7r\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f15zgtq/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5089, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5089, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a6b98ed14aa3a416", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "90204bb773670e4a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Not only possible embarrassment, but at a public pool could've gotten her arrested.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Not only possible embarrassment, but at a public pool could've gotten her arrested.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569201894.0, "created_utc": 1569201894.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f163qvt", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f163qvt", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f15zgtq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f163qvt/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "1d181e22217456e5", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "2620cbd537084300", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Actually there are a bunch of rulings lately that bar sex discrimination in topless cases. \n\nBut OP wasn't even topless -- just wearing a white bikini or something.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Actually there are a bunch of rulings lately that bar sex discrimination in topless cases. </p>\n\n<p>But OP wasn't even topless -- just wearing a white bikini or something.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569207599.0, "created_utc": 1569207599.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16bi3k", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16bi3k", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f163qvt", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16bi3k/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 110, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 110, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "1532a264d7609aaa", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "17a7e3315b8338a5", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Honestly not likely, since she was still wearing a bikini. There are some places she might get a ticket for public indecency if the officer really wanted to take it that far, but highly unlikely shed actually be arrested", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Honestly not likely, since she was still wearing a bikini. There are some places she might get a ticket for public indecency if the officer really wanted to take it that far, but highly unlikely shed actually be arrested</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569206292.0, "created_utc": 1569206292.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f169tiq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f169tiq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f163qvt", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f169tiq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "757a7be2f0fcb8e1", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "54f625392fd33909", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "In California it would be indecent exposure which is a misdemeanor. It relies on the officer to actually enforce it so certain areas you can get away with it still but it\u2019s a risk.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>In California it would be indecent exposure which is a misdemeanor. It relies on the officer to actually enforce it so certain areas you can get away with it still but it\u2019s a risk.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569209416.0, "created_utc": 1569209416.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16drea", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16drea", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f169tiq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16drea/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Weird how you can go down Venice Beach just by the skatepark and there are unclothed titties everywhere sunbathing.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Weird how you can go down Venice Beach just by the skatepark and there are unclothed titties everywhere sunbathing.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569210344.0, "created_utc": 1569210344.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16etnk", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16etnk", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16drea", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16etnk/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a72919915c6938b1", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "44f13488604365b5", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Wait, I live right next to this beach. Where are all of these uncovered tits?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Wait, I live right next to this beach. Where are all of these uncovered tits?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569221907.0, "created_utc": 1569221907.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16rz3v", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16rz3v", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16etnk", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16rz3v/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a9ffacb652cf372b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "019628ce7ecded90", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Under the bikinis", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Under the bikinis</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569222698.0, "created_utc": 1569222698.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16sq0s", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16sq0s", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16rz3v", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16sq0s/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "97b6761bffe3f560", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9d7fc93d566532f1", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Everything is uncovered underneath the covering. \n\nYou\u2019re naked right now underneath your clothes.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Everything is uncovered underneath the covering. </p>\n\n<p>You\u2019re naked right now underneath your clothes.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569241757.0, "created_utc": 1569241757.0, "depth": 9, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f17evtx", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f17evtx", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16sq0s", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f17evtx/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 10, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 10, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 41, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 41, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Usually behind the windbreaks/parasols. Or at least they were the three times I visited in 2017.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Usually behind the windbreaks/parasols. Or at least they were the three times I visited in 2017.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569226807.0, "created_utc": 1569226807.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16wi2s", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16wi2s", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16rz3v", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16wi2s/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 6, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 6, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 22, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 22, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Ive never seen titties at venice beach", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Ive never seen titties at venice beach</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569212061.0, "created_utc": 1569212061.0, "depth": 7, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16gphm", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16gphm", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16etnk", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16gphm/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "f31b7cbcab916093", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "0678484d685b366e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Well were you *looking* for the titties?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Well were you <em>looking</em> for the titties?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569231971.0, "created_utc": 1569231971.0, "depth": 8, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f17142e", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f17142e", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16gphm", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f17142e/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 10, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 10, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 22, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 22, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 179, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 179, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "No, it requires willfully and lewdly exposing yourself. No intent to offend or gratify yourself and she didn\u2019t intend to, so no crime.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>No, it requires willfully and lewdly exposing yourself. No intent to offend or gratify yourself and she didn\u2019t intend to, so no crime.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569218728.0, "created_utc": 1569218728.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16on0b", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16on0b", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16drea", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16on0b/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "In Ca, it depends on intent. If she didn't know her suit was see-through, realized it, and grabbed a towel she wouldn't get in trouble or at the very least, the charges would be thrown out.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>In Ca, it depends on intent. If she didn't know her suit was see-through, realized it, and grabbed a towel she wouldn't get in trouble or at the very least, the charges would be thrown out.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569212613.0, "created_utc": 1569212613.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16hcgp", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16hcgp", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16drea", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16hcgp/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 6, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 6, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 136, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 136, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 559, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 559, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Not in portland ayyyy you can be completely naked and its legal asffff", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Not in portland ayyyy you can be completely naked and its legal asffff</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569206573.0, "created_utc": 1569206573.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16a6f4", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16a6f4", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f163qvt", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16a6f4/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "b93c2d53cd10e63e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "088cb13291686c6e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Y'all fuckers in Portland gonna be sorry as fuck when I move there. I don't even wanna see me completely naked.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Y'all fuckers in Portland gonna be sorry as fuck when I move there. I don't even wanna see me completely naked.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569209765.0, "created_utc": 1569209765.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16e6c1", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16e6c1", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16a6f4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16e6c1/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "8a417c0e20cea440", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#735a17", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Aficionado [16]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "6917e6f5ef0a281e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It's too damn cold here to be completely naked. And if you want to go swimming in the ocean, you need a wetsuit. The one warm day a year, you can join the naked bike ride.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It's too damn cold here to be completely naked. And if you want to go swimming in the ocean, you need a wetsuit. The one warm day a year, you can join the naked bike ride.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569214333.0, "created_utc": 1569214333.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16jfur", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16jfur", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16e6c1", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16jfur/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 18, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 18, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Everyone will be too baked to notice.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Everyone will be too baked to notice.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569213543.0, "created_utc": 1569213543.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16ifh9", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16ifh9", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16e6c1", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16ifh9/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 16, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 16, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 387, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 387, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "23362c7f02b47c97", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "b589b866a5efb19a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Portland has so much fog you can't tell the difference.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Portland has so much fog you can't tell the difference.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569210931.0, "created_utc": 1569210931.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16fg6q", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16fg6q", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16a6f4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16fg6q/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "We talking Portland, Maine or Portland, Oregon?", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>We talking Portland, Maine or Portland, Oregon?</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569214274.0, "created_utc": 1569214274.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16jdbu", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16jdbu", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16fg6q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16jdbu/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 155, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 155, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Ohhhh okay that explains the naked bike rides I see people post about in my cycling subreddits", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Ohhhh okay that explains the naked bike rides I see people post about in my cycling subreddits</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569211729.0, "created_utc": 1569211729.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16gbfl", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16gbfl", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f16a6f4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16gbfl/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 214, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 214, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "52a690c06be32ff7", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#ab8c0e", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0", "author_flair_text": "Colo-rectal Surgeon [35]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "768929ead90c2d97", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Depends on where you live. For example in my country (Canada) this would be 100% legal.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Depends on where you live. For example in my country (Canada) this would be 100% legal.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1569207894.0, "created_utc": 1569207894.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f16bvju", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d7yuot", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f16bvju", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f163qvt", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d7yuot/aita_for_wearing_the_joke_bikini_my_friend_got_me/f16bvju/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 88, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 88, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 649, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 649, "user_reports": []}
|
Please do. Take pictures, video...and let us know how it went
|
cl8kbt
|
3ce8287fdff61f84
| 1,564,774,860
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "41 years old (as of 2020)", "gender": "NA", "location": "United States (implied from context)", "occupation": "Works shifts that end at 7 am (mentioned 'working until 7 am')", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Parent with at least one school-age son"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Parenting challenges and school-related issues ('my son and I don't participate in fundraisers from the school')", "Cases involving child neglect or poor parenting ('Calling off the wedding was the right thing to do')", "Situations exposing hypocrisy and double standards in families", "Creative problem-solving approaches like the 'swear tax' scenario", "Gender equality issues, especially regarding children ('unladylike' criticism)", "Supporting children who feel forgotten or neglected in family situations", "Accountability and consequences for poor behavior", "School fundraisers and their impact on families ('they used to do them once a month, it was exhausting')", "Practical solutions to everyday problems", "Stories of people standing up against unfair treatment", "Humorous or clever responses to difficult situations"], "values": ["Strong belief in fairness and equal treatment ('they agreed to it, they have to play by the rules')", "Opposition to double standards, especially gender-based ones", "Accountability and keeping promises ('where were they when you and your son needed help and support?')", "Empathy for children in difficult family situations ('I hate situations like this where everyone is getting a bad deal and the other kid/s get forgotten')", "Direct confrontation when necessary to address problems", "Protecting children from neglect and harm ('This type of situation is exactly why my son and I don't participate')", "Belief that actions have consequences ('It's a good lesson!!')", "Support for those who stand up against hypocrisy", "Practical problem-solving over passive acceptance", "Validation of others' feelings and experiences ('Oh that just sucks. I'm so sorry')", "Belief in calling out bad behavior ('I can see your point, but there somewhere a time you have to put things back in people's face')", "Support for personal autonomy and choice"], "communication": ["Uses very short, direct responses ranging from 2-50 words", "Frequently employs AITA subreddit terminology like 'NTA' (Not The Asshole)", "Conversational and casual tone with occasional profanity when contextually appropriate", "Expresses empathy through simple phrases ('Oh that just sucks. I'm so sorry')", "Offers practical, actionable suggestions ('take the modem with you to work')", "Uses rhetorical questions to make points ('where were they when you and your son needed help and support?')", "Provides brief validating responses ('There ya go!', 'No worries')", "Employs humor and sarcasm ('Shit...you're probably right', 'even better. And not as obvious at first')", "Writes in simple sentence structures, rarely using complex grammar", "Shows enthusiasm with exclamation points ('It's a good lesson!!')", "Minimal use of formal language or elaborate explanations", "Direct and straightforward without hedging or excessive qualification"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 15-20 words", "Minimum response length: 2 words ('No worries')", "Maximum response length: approximately 50 words", "Frequently uses 'NTA' as opening or standalone judgment", "Common phrases include variations of agreement and validation", "Uses exclamation points frequently to convey enthusiasm or emphasis", "Sentence structure predominantly simple and declarative", "Occasional use of ellipses for emphasis or pause ('Shit...you're probably right')", "Responses often include personal anecdotes or experiences as evidence", "Minimal use of complex punctuation or formatting beyond basic periods and commas"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for filling a few faux Amazon packages with my dog's shit to teach the two theiving neighborhood kids who have been stealing my packages a lesson?\n\nThis has been going on for a few months now, ever since school let out. There are two girls in the neighborhood who are about 8-10 and the oldest about 10-13... I have a video camera outside our apartment and have caught them red-handed. The first package they stole contained puppy pee pads and garbage bags, second package contained a pair of scrubs for work and last week they got a Bluetooth speaker. Amazon replaced all my packages and I would rather not get the police involved and their parents are real asshats that don't supervise their kids, so I decided to fill a few packages with dog shit and leave them something special to steal to hopefully teach them a lesson. I also taped notes that said \" Dear Children, Stop stealing my shit!\" in the boxes along with the turds. Some of the turds are petrified, some were juicy and wet. AITA or am I a diabolical genius?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1564773447.0, \"created_utc\": 1564773447.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1582721076.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"cl8kbt\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_cl8kbt\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 820, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cl8kbt/aita_for_filling_a_few_faux_amazon_packages_with/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24609, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"This has been going on for a few months now, ever since school let out. There are two girls in the neighborhood who are about 8-10 and the oldest about 10-13... I have a video camera outside our apartment and have caught them red-handed. The first package they stole contained puppy pee pads and garbage bags, second package contained a pair of scrubs for work and last week they got a Bluetooth speaker. Amazon replaced all my packages and I would rather not get the police involved and their parents are real asshats that don't supervise their kids, so I decided to fill a few packages with dog shit and leave them something special to steal to hopefully teach them a lesson. I also taped notes that said \\\" Dear Children, Stop stealing my shit!\\\" in the boxes along with the turds. Some of the turds are petrified, some were juicy and wet. AITA or am I a diabolical genius?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This has been going on for a few months now, ever since school let out. There are two girls in the neighborhood who are about 8-10 and the oldest about 10-13... I have a video camera outside our apartment and have caught them red-handed. The first package they stole contained puppy pee pads and garbage bags, second package contained a pair of scrubs for work and last week they got a Bluetooth speaker. Amazon replaced all my packages and I would rather not get the police involved and their parents are real asshats that don't supervise their kids, so I decided to fill a few packages with dog shit and leave them something special to steal to hopefully teach them a lesson. I also taped notes that said " Dear Children, Stop stealing my shit!" in the boxes along with the turds. Some of the turds are petrified, some were juicy and wet. AITA or am I a diabolical genius?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_cl8kbt\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for filling a few faux Amazon packages with my dog's shit to teach the two theiving neighborhood kids who have been stealing my packages a lesson?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24609, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.76, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cl8kbt/aita_for_filling_a_few_faux_amazon_packages_with/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
|
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|
I speak German (minored at the college level, though I wouldn't say I'm fluent) and reading Dutch makes me feel like I'm having a stroke.
|
logumz
|
97f12783c0a7602c
| 1,613,882,155
| 5
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA (in same-sex relationship with girlfriend)", "location": "NA (mentions keeping house temperature, suggesting US-based)", "occupation": "NA (has completed college with German minor)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "In a same-sex relationship with girlfriend; was a stepchild during childhood; lives with partner; studied German at college level"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and stepfamily relationships, as evidenced by sharing 'I was a stepchild for a while' and discussing naming conventions", "Language learning and linguistics, particularly German ('minored at the college level') and reactions to Dutch", "Comedy and stand-up, specifically mentioning 'the Gabriel Iglesias bit where he got his friend a gift basket of stereotypical foods'", "Real estate and housing decisions, discussing 'moving out of a rental is SO much easier than selling a house'", "Medical knowledge and pharmaceutical accuracy, questioning 'Why would she get high on antinausea medicine...'", "Cultural sensitivity and stereotyping issues, engaging with discussions about Asian cultural appropriation", "LGBTQ+ relationships and living arrangements with partner", "Practical household management including temperature preferences ('upper 70s' at home)"], "values": ["Practicality and flexibility in life decisions, stating 'Perhaps OP isn't ready to settle somewhere just yet, which is perfectly reasonable'", "Personal autonomy in adult relationships, defending couples' right to share beds regardless of sexual activity", "Honesty and directness in communication, providing straightforward answers like 'Nope' when asked personal questions", "Critical thinking about medical matters, questioning illogical assumptions about medication abuse", "Respect for individual choices in living situations and financial decisions", "Appreciation for humor that addresses sensitive topics thoughtfully, referencing comedy about stereotypes", "Openness about personal life and relationship dynamics without shame or hesitation", "Recognition of complexity in family structures, sharing nuanced stepfamily experiences"], "communication": ["Conversational and relatable tone, frequently beginning responses with personal anecdotes", "Uses self-deprecating humor, such as 'reading Dutch makes me feel like I'm having a stroke'", "Provides specific personal context to support points, like 'we met this guy when I was 8, not 2'", "Varies response length from single words ('Nope.') to detailed paragraphs based on context", "Acknowledges own exaggerations and limitations, stating 'That might be a slight exaggeration'", "Uses casual language and contractions throughout responses", "Employs 'I' and 'My' frequently, centering personal narrative and experience", "Direct and matter-of-fact when discussing personal topics like sexuality and relationships", "Includes practical details like temperatures ('upper 70s', 'below 40') to illustrate points"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-50 words, with range from 1 word minimum to 80 words maximum", "Frequently uses first-person pronouns 'I', 'My', 'We' to frame personal experiences", "Most responses include at least one personal anecdote or direct experience", "Common phrases include 'My girlfriend and I', 'I was', 'makes me feel/think'", "Uses parenthetical asides to add context or clarification", "Employs casual contractions and informal language consistently", "Sentence structure varies from simple declarative statements to complex compound sentences"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for accidentally calling out a new colleague on lying about her language skills?\n\nLast week a new colleague \"Cathy\" (33f) started at my (25f) work place. She instantly stood out in the team, because she seems like someone who is very... loud and assertive? Two of my colleagues, me and Cathy were having coffee in the break room (we were the only ones in there and we were sitting far apart), when the subject of travel was brought up. My colleague said she wasn't booking trips anymore because it'll probably get cancelled because of covid anyway. Cathy, immediately cut in about how sad she is because she travels so often and she goes on these far \"exotic\" trips to Europe as her hobby. When I think exotic I think the Bahamas or something instead of Europe but. Cool.\n\nCathy then jokes about how all this \"no travel business\" is making her fear that she'll lose some of her foreign language skills. I asked what languages she spoke. She claimed to be fluent in 3 European languages, among which were French and Dutch. Cathy said she was \"at a native speaker level\" and went on about how people in Europe were always surprised when they found out she wasn't from there.\n\nI was excited, because I never get to speak Dutch over here. I was raised in Belgium, which has three national languages: French and Dutch (which are my mother tongues and the most commonly spoken there) and German. It's quite common to be pretty fluent in at least two out of the three languages in Belgium, because you're required to learn them at school (along with English) from a young age. I told Cathy \"oh leuk, dan hebben we iets gemeenschappelijk!\" (\"oh fun, we have something in common then!\")\n\nShe immediately pulled this sour face and asked me if that was supposed to be Dutch. I said yes. She laughed awkwardly and said she \"couldn't understand because I have a terrible accent and must not be that good at speaking it.\" Now see, I don't have an accent. I speak Dutch more fluently than I speak English. I told Cathy that I grew up speaking Dutch and speak it to my family all the time.\n\nShe got miffed and asked what languages I speak and where I'm from. I told her I'm from Belgium, so I also speak French and I added \"which you just said you speak as well, cool! We can speak French instead!\" I acknowledge that I was a bit of a dick here, because by that point I knew she probably lied about speaking French as well. She then shoved her chair back and angrily got up, said \"whatever\" and stomped off. It was awkward. My other colleagues just kinda shrugged and said she shouldn't have lied.\n\nHowever, she later approached me and told me I embarrassed her by acting \"superior\" about my European heritage. I told her there was no way for me to know she'd lied about speaking those languages. She rolled her eyes and told me I was immature. A colleague told me that Cathy had called me a \"little b-word who enjoys bullying new colleagues\" behind my back later. I don't think I was a bully at all, but I don't want this to turn into a huge thing. Do I just apologize to keep the peace? AITA?\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\nEdit1: I'm not sure about escalating this to HR, which a lot of people have told me I have to do. I feel like this might make me look immature to the rest of my colleagues (of which I am the youngest) and it might not need to go that far... It depends on if Cathy is willing to put this behind her and be professional. If all else fails I do have \"witnesses\" who would be honest about what happened, so I think I might be in the clear if she tries to twist the story. \n\nEdit2: Some people have taken offense to me giving the Bahamas as an example of an \"exotic\" place and are trying to make this into a race issue. I didn't know \"exotic\" was an offensive term in the US. Do I think of The Netherlands, Belgium, England, Norway, which were countries she was describing as being faraway exotic destinations, as my idea of an exotic trip? No. Not because there's a lot of white people there, but because when I think of exotic I think of a place with nice sunny weather, white sand beaches and a blue ocean. Maybe it's because I'm from Belgium, but I don't really feel like being in my home country where it's dark and rainy all the time is quite that experience. \n\nEdit3: Some people think she might not have understood me because she is fluent in Dutch, but learned it in the Netherlands, which has different accents. While it is true that The Netherlands and Flandres have different accents, I didn't speak a very specific dialect like West-Flemish or something. I spoke the general Dutch you'd see in the news in Flandres. I didn't speak quickly to try and make it incomprehensible to set her up. I genuinely believed she spoke Dutch because that's what she was saying, so I talked to her in normal, conversational Dutch. The same kind of Dutch I'd use in a work environment back in my home country, the same kind of Dutch I use with friends from The Netherlands. (But with a soft \"g\" lol.)", "role": "throw_friescountry", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throw_friescountry\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_ah98jhyr\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1613855539.0, \"created_utc\": 1613855539.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1613904551.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"logumz\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_logumz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1901, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 32607, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Last week a new colleague \\\"Cathy\\\" (33f) started at my (25f) work place. She instantly stood out in the team, because she seems like someone who is very... loud and assertive? Two of my colleagues, me and Cathy were having coffee in the break room (we were the only ones in there and we were sitting far apart), when the subject of travel was brought up. My colleague said she wasn't booking trips anymore because it'll probably get cancelled because of covid anyway. Cathy, immediately cut in about how sad she is because she travels so often and she goes on these far \\\"exotic\\\" trips to Europe as her hobby. When I think exotic I think the Bahamas or something instead of Europe but. Cool.\\n\\nCathy then jokes about how all this \\\"no travel business\\\" is making her fear that she'll lose some of her foreign language skills. I asked what languages she spoke. She claimed to be fluent in 3 European languages, among which were French and Dutch. Cathy said she was \\\"at a native speaker level\\\" and went on about how people in Europe were always surprised when they found out she wasn't from there.\\n\\nI was excited, because I never get to speak Dutch over here. I was raised in Belgium, which has three national languages: French and Dutch (which are my mother tongues and the most commonly spoken there) and German. It's quite common to be pretty fluent in at least two out of the three languages in Belgium, because you're required to learn them at school (along with English) from a young age. I told Cathy \\\"oh leuk, dan hebben we iets gemeenschappelijk!\\\" (\\\"oh fun, we have something in common then!\\\")\\n\\nShe immediately pulled this sour face and asked me if that was supposed to be Dutch. I said yes. She laughed awkwardly and said she \\\"couldn't understand because I have a terrible accent and must not be that good at speaking it.\\\" Now see, I don't have an accent. I speak Dutch more fluently than I speak English. I told Cathy that I grew up speaking Dutch and speak it to my family all the time.\\n\\nShe got miffed and asked what languages I speak and where I'm from. I told her I'm from Belgium, so I also speak French and I added \\\"which you just said you speak as well, cool! We can speak French instead!\\\" I acknowledge that I was a bit of a dick here, because by that point I knew she probably lied about speaking French as well. She then shoved her chair back and angrily got up, said \\\"whatever\\\" and stomped off. It was awkward. My other colleagues just kinda shrugged and said she shouldn't have lied.\\n\\nHowever, she later approached me and told me I embarrassed her by acting \\\"superior\\\" about my European heritage. I told her there was no way for me to know she'd lied about speaking those languages. She rolled her eyes and told me I was immature. A colleague told me that Cathy had called me a \\\"little b-word who enjoys bullying new colleagues\\\" behind my back later. I don't think I was a bully at all, but I don't want this to turn into a huge thing. Do I just apologize to keep the peace? AITA?\\n\\n\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\\\_\\n\\nEdit1: I'm not sure about escalating this to HR, which a lot of people have told me I have to do. I feel like this might make me look immature to the rest of my colleagues (of which I am the youngest) and it might not need to go that far... It depends on if Cathy is willing to put this behind her and be professional. If all else fails I do have \\\"witnesses\\\" who would be honest about what happened, so I think I might be in the clear if she tries to twist the story. \\n\\nEdit2: Some people have taken offense to me giving the Bahamas as an example of an \\\"exotic\\\" place and are trying to make this into a race issue. I didn't know \\\"exotic\\\" was an offensive term in the US. Do I think of The Netherlands, Belgium, England, Norway, which were countries she was describing as being faraway exotic destinations, as my idea of an exotic trip? No. Not because there's a lot of white people there, but because when I think of exotic I think of a place with nice sunny weather, white sand beaches and a blue ocean. Maybe it's because I'm from Belgium, but I don't really feel like being in my home country where it's dark and rainy all the time is quite that experience. \\n\\nEdit3: Some people think she might not have understood me because she is fluent in Dutch, but learned it in the Netherlands, which has different accents. While it is true that The Netherlands and Flandres have different accents, I didn't speak a very specific dialect like West-Flemish or something. I spoke the general Dutch you'd see in the news in Flandres. I didn't speak quickly to try and make it incomprehensible to set her up. I genuinely believed she spoke Dutch because that's what she was saying, so I talked to her in normal, conversational Dutch. The same kind of Dutch I'd use in a work environment back in my home country, the same kind of Dutch I use with friends from The Netherlands. (But with a soft \\\"g\\\" lol.) \", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Last week a new colleague "Cathy" (33f) started at my (25f) work place. She instantly stood out in the team, because she seems like someone who is very... loud and assertive? Two of my colleagues, me and Cathy were having coffee in the break room (we were the only ones in there and we were sitting far apart), when the subject of travel was brought up. My colleague said she wasn't booking trips anymore because it'll probably get cancelled because of covid anyway. Cathy, immediately cut in about how sad she is because she travels so often and she goes on these far "exotic" trips to Europe as her hobby. When I think exotic I think the Bahamas or something instead of Europe but. Cool.</p>\\n\\n<p>Cathy then jokes about how all this "no travel business" is making her fear that she'll lose some of her foreign language skills. I asked what languages she spoke. She claimed to be fluent in 3 European languages, among which were French and Dutch. Cathy said she was "at a native speaker level" and went on about how people in Europe were always surprised when they found out she wasn't from there.</p>\\n\\n<p>I was excited, because I never get to speak Dutch over here. I was raised in Belgium, which has three national languages: French and Dutch (which are my mother tongues and the most commonly spoken there) and German. It's quite common to be pretty fluent in at least two out of the three languages in Belgium, because you're required to learn them at school (along with English) from a young age. I told Cathy "oh leuk, dan hebben we iets gemeenschappelijk!" ("oh fun, we have something in common then!")</p>\\n\\n<p>She immediately pulled this sour face and asked me if that was supposed to be Dutch. I said yes. She laughed awkwardly and said she "couldn't understand because I have a terrible accent and must not be that good at speaking it." Now see, I don't have an accent. I speak Dutch more fluently than I speak English. I told Cathy that I grew up speaking Dutch and speak it to my family all the time.</p>\\n\\n<p>She got miffed and asked what languages I speak and where I'm from. I told her I'm from Belgium, so I also speak French and I added "which you just said you speak as well, cool! We can speak French instead!" I acknowledge that I was a bit of a dick here, because by that point I knew she probably lied about speaking French as well. She then shoved her chair back and angrily got up, said "whatever" and stomped off. It was awkward. My other colleagues just kinda shrugged and said she shouldn't have lied.</p>\\n\\n<p>However, she later approached me and told me I embarrassed her by acting "superior" about my European heritage. I told her there was no way for me to know she'd lied about speaking those languages. She rolled her eyes and told me I was immature. A colleague told me that Cathy had called me a "little b-word who enjoys bullying new colleagues" behind my back later. I don't think I was a bully at all, but I don't want this to turn into a huge thing. Do I just apologize to keep the peace? AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>________________________________________________________________________</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit1: I'm not sure about escalating this to HR, which a lot of people have told me I have to do. I feel like this might make me look immature to the rest of my colleagues (of which I am the youngest) and it might not need to go that far... It depends on if Cathy is willing to put this behind her and be professional. If all else fails I do have "witnesses" who would be honest about what happened, so I think I might be in the clear if she tries to twist the story. </p>\\n\\n<p>Edit2: Some people have taken offense to me giving the Bahamas as an example of an "exotic" place and are trying to make this into a race issue. I didn't know "exotic" was an offensive term in the US. Do I think of The Netherlands, Belgium, England, Norway, which were countries she was describing as being faraway exotic destinations, as my idea of an exotic trip? No. Not because there's a lot of white people there, but because when I think of exotic I think of a place with nice sunny weather, white sand beaches and a blue ocean. Maybe it's because I'm from Belgium, but I don't really feel like being in my home country where it's dark and rainy all the time is quite that experience. </p>\\n\\n<p>Edit3: Some people think she might not have understood me because she is fluent in Dutch, but learned it in the Netherlands, which has different accents. While it is true that The Netherlands and Flandres have different accents, I didn't speak a very specific dialect like West-Flemish or something. I spoke the general Dutch you'd see in the news in Flandres. I didn't speak quickly to try and make it incomprehensible to set her up. I genuinely believed she spoke Dutch because that's what she was saying, so I talked to her in normal, conversational Dutch. The same kind of Dutch I'd use in a work environment back in my home country, the same kind of Dutch I use with friends from The Netherlands. (But with a soft "g" lol.) </p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_logumz\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for accidentally calling out a new colleague on lying about her language skills?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 32607, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA\n\n> I embarrassed her by acting \"superior\" about my European heritage\n[...quoted text...]\n\nI mean, not *that*, but you **are** superior to her in that you don't feel the need to lie to impress people.\n\n> Cathy had called me a \"little b-word who enjoys bullying new colleagues\"\n[...quoted text...]\n\nOh, Cathy... talking aloud into the mirror again?", "role": "StAlvis", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"StAlvis\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#8b0000\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"033db9f8-a711-11e9-843b-0eabf9e39b18\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Galasstic Overlord [2466]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_22z0x5l7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA\\n\\n> I embarrassed her by acting \\\"superior\\\" about my European heritage\\n\\nI mean, not *that*, but you **are** superior to her in that you don't feel the need to lie to impress people.\\n\\n> Cathy had called me a \\\"little b-word who enjoys bullying new colleagues\\\"\\n\\nOh, Cathy... talking aloud into the mirror again?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA</p>\\n\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>I embarrassed her by acting "superior" about my European heritage</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>I mean, not <em>that</em>, but you <strong>are</strong> superior to her in that you don't feel the need to lie to impress people.</p>\\n\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>Cathy had called me a "little b-word who enjoys bullying new colleagues"</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>Oh, Cathy... talking aloud into the mirror again?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, 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\"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_logumz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_go5qaev\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_logumz\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/go5qaev/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26427, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26427, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I agree. It's pretty childish and immature behaviour in my opinion to pretend to know several different languages which you don't have a clue about.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I agree. It's pretty childish and immature behaviour in my opinion to pretend to know several different languages which you don't have a clue about.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I agree. It's pretty childish and immature behaviour in my opinion to pretend to know several different languages which you don't have a clue about.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1613860481.0, \"created_utc\": 1613860481.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"go5ykpf\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_logumz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_go5ykpf\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_go5qaev\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/go5ykpf/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 278, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 278, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Dutch isn't super common, so you might be able to fake it - but French?\n\nAnd Dutch is quite similar to German (I'm told) and Affrikaans.", "role": "Fraerie", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Fraerie\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_frv0f\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": true, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Dutch isn't super common, so you might be able to fake it - but French?\\n\\nAnd Dutch is quite similar to German (I'm told) and Affrikaans.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Dutch isn't super common, so you might be able to fake it - but French?</p>\\n\\n<p>And Dutch is quite similar to German (I'm told) and Affrikaans.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1613870008.0, \"created_utc\": 1613870008.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"go6g3c5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_logumz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_go6g3c5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_go5ykpf\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/go6g3c5/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 118, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 118, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I can often read Dutch if I ignore the vowels. It doesn't make sense to my ears though. But I'm not a native German speaker by any means.", "role": "era626", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"era626\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5hkrd\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I can often read Dutch if I ignore the vowels. It doesn't make sense to my ears though. But I'm not a native German speaker by any means.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I can often read Dutch if I ignore the vowels. It doesn't make sense to my ears though. But I'm not a native German speaker by any means.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1613873471.0, \"created_utc\": 1613873471.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"go6meme\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_logumz\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_go6meme\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_go6g3c5\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/go6meme/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 43, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 43, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "97f12783c0a7602c", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7543d17d6422aaf8", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I speak German (minored at the college level, though I wouldn't say I'm fluent) and reading Dutch makes me feel like I'm having a stroke.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I speak German (minored at the college level, though I wouldn't say I'm fluent) and reading Dutch makes me feel like I'm having a stroke.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1613882155.0, "created_utc": 1613882155.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "go71e0a", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_logumz", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_go71e0a", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_go6meme", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/logumz/aita_for_accidentally_calling_out_a_new_colleague/go71e0a/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 10, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 10, "user_reports": []}
|
Technically OP's only mess up was acknowledging they had done it to catch the roommate. Without that, it would be very difficult to sue. OP intended to drink the milk themselves, there's a bunch of different reasons to reuse the container, and the container itself was visibly marked. That stops it from being a trap.
|
hvcvtt
|
1cf3bb5c0552d102
| 1,595,369,187
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "Female (likely, based on reference to 'my daughter's other mom' suggesting same-sex co-parenting relationship)", "location": "Texas, United States (explicitly mentions Texas custody laws, HEB, Bill Miller's BBQ)", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "American (based on Texas residence and familiarity with US legal systems)", "other": "Parent in a co-parenting arrangement with another woman; has at least one daughter"}, "interests": ["Legal procedures and rights, particularly custody laws and food tampering regulations ('Technically OP's only mess up was acknowledging they had done it to catch the roommate')", "Parenting and child welfare issues ('My daughter's other mom was born christmas eve. I make sure to get her a birthday gift and christmas gifts')", "Family dynamics and fairness in treatment of children ('It's always so strange yet understandable to me how those that got everything often can't see how unfair the situation was')", "Gender roles and expectations in domestic settings (engaged extensively with Thanksgiving planning post about gender assumptions)", "Co-parenting arrangements and custody matters ('Not sure about them, but it works that way in Texas. If the parents weren't married, default is mother has primary custody')", "Workplace ethics and hygiene standards ('WTF. I bake for work, and I have animals. I don't know how the hell it would even be possible for that to happen')", "Social justice and equal treatment ('I was honestly the favored child and I always tried to at least do something small for my brother because I understood it wasn't fair or right')", "Practical problem-solving in everyday situations (providing specific store alternatives and solutions)"], "values": ["Personal accountability and facing consequences for one's actions ('Situation was actually worse then that. She gave her kidney to a stranger so the boss could get bumped up on the list')", "Fairness and equal treatment regardless of gender ('I just don't want the drama or hassle that comes with dating right now')", "Protecting children from toxic or harmful influences (emphasized importance of funeral being about the grieving family)", "Importance of legal documentation and proper procedures ('Make sure to log this incident and keep screenshots of those messages')", "Standing against hypocrisy and privilege blindness ('I was a kid and understood this, yet grown ass adults out here calling OP an asshole')", "Recognizing manipulation and calling it out ('It's highly possible they aren't thinking of the support thing. Or just assuming OP might be able to get a job as the brother's caregiver')", "Autonomy in personal decisions, especially regarding relationships ('My bitterness is more of a background thing. I just don't want the drama or hassle')", "Context matters in judging situations ('That's kind of different though. By the sound of it the kids' entire lives, Thanksgiving was them jetting off to some relative's house')"], "communication": ["Direct and matter-of-fact tone with analytical approach ('Technically OP's only mess up was acknowledging they had done it to catch the roommate. Without that, it would be very difficult to sue')", "Provides specific corrections and clarifications to others' statements ('Situation was actually worse then that')", "Uses casual language and expressions ('WTF,' 'grown ass adults')", "Offers nuanced perspectives that consider multiple angles ('It's highly possible they aren't thinking of the support thing')", "Shares personal experiences to relate to topics ('My daughter's other mom,' 'I was honestly the favored child')", "Builds logical arguments with supporting details (explains why Thanksgiving situation differs from Christmas)", "Concise when clarifying simple points ('I think she meant in the sense that if they wanted a thanksgiving meal they should have asked about it')", "Adds practical, location-specific information ('HEB stopped doing those in my area but I discovered Bill Millers BBQ does them')"], "statistics": ["Average response length: approximately 60-80 words, with range from 15 words (brief clarifications) to 150 words (detailed explanations)", "Frequently uses phrases like 'It's highly possible,' 'That's kind of different though,' 'WTF,' and 'I think she meant'", "Often begins responses with agreement or disagreement markers before elaborating", "Uses parenthetical asides to add context or examples", "Employs specific examples and concrete details rather than abstract statements", "Sentence structure varies between short, direct statements and longer, complex explanations with multiple clauses", "Tends to correct misconceptions with factual information and personal knowledge"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for switching to regular milk to prove my lactose intolerant roommate keeps stealing from me?\n\nMe and 2 other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don\u2019t split costs on is groceries. Everyone\u2019s in charge of buying their own food and we don\u2019t touch whatever doesn\u2019t belong to us in the fridge. We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up. \n\nThis issue has been going on almost a year and I\u2019m sick of it. \n\nOne of my roommates, R, keeps stealing my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick. My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I\u2019ve only drank once or twice. \n\nI confronted R about this lots of times and that\u2019s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I\u2019m crazy even though it\u2019s so obvious. \n\nMy other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it\u2019s not him. It\u2019s always after we get back home and R\u2019s already left for work that I notice my food\u2019s gone. My roommate\u2019s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I\u2019m guessing cause R doesn\u2019t like what he buys.\n\nThe funny thing is R buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what\u2019s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it.\n\nLast week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was to catch/prove R is the one stealing since he\u2019s lactose intolerant. \n\nThe nxt day, Saturday, we get back from work and R is pissed. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 mins with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake. I only responded with \u201cSo then you\u2019re the one who\u2019s been stealing?\u201d \n\nHe freaking exploded. Yeah he admitted he was \u201csometimes\u201d drinking my milk and eating my food but he was more mad that I switched milks than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn\u2019t have done that if he\u2019d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of tryna make it seem like I was making it up.\n\nMy roommate backed me up and thought it was kinda funny he got payback for stealing from us. It\u2019s a little tense rn and my roommate told me R is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out. Little does he know we\u2019re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his shit. \n\nI told some buddies what happened and a few think I was an asshole for that. I feel like I\u2019m not in the wrong here. He was taking my food and not even owning up to it and I wanted to prove it, does that make me TA?", "role": "gottmilk_", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"gottmilk_\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7cqaprcx\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1595356193.0, \"created_utc\": 1595356193.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hvcvtt\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hvcvtt\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1412, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 46213, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Me and 2 other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don\\u2019t split costs on is groceries. Everyone\\u2019s in charge of buying their own food and we don\\u2019t touch whatever doesn\\u2019t belong to us in the fridge. We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up. \\n\\nThis issue has been going on almost a year and I\\u2019m sick of it. \\n\\nOne of my roommates, R, keeps stealing my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick. My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I\\u2019ve only drank once or twice. \\n\\nI confronted R about this lots of times and that\\u2019s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I\\u2019m crazy even though it\\u2019s so obvious. \\n\\nMy other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it\\u2019s not him. It\\u2019s always after we get back home and R\\u2019s already left for work that I notice my food\\u2019s gone. My roommate\\u2019s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I\\u2019m guessing cause R doesn\\u2019t like what he buys.\\n\\nThe funny thing is R buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what\\u2019s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it.\\n\\nLast week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was to catch/prove R is the one stealing since he\\u2019s lactose intolerant. \\n\\nThe nxt day, Saturday, we get back from work and R is pissed. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 mins with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake. I only responded with \\u201cSo then you\\u2019re the one who\\u2019s been stealing?\\u201d \\n\\nHe freaking exploded. Yeah he admitted he was \\u201csometimes\\u201d drinking my milk and eating my food but he was more mad that I switched milks than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn\\u2019t have done that if he\\u2019d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of tryna make it seem like I was making it up.\\n\\nMy roommate backed me up and thought it was kinda funny he got payback for stealing from us. It\\u2019s a little tense rn and my roommate told me R is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out. Little does he know we\\u2019re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his shit. \\n\\nI told some buddies what happened and a few think I was an asshole for that. I feel like I\\u2019m not in the wrong here. He was taking my food and not even owning up to it and I wanted to prove it, does that make me TA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Me and 2 other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don\\u2019t split costs on is groceries. Everyone\\u2019s in charge of buying their own food and we don\\u2019t touch whatever doesn\\u2019t belong to us in the fridge. We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up. </p>\\n\\n<p>This issue has been going on almost a year and I\\u2019m sick of it. </p>\\n\\n<p>One of my roommates, R, keeps stealing my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick. My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I\\u2019ve only drank once or twice. </p>\\n\\n<p>I confronted R about this lots of times and that\\u2019s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I\\u2019m crazy even though it\\u2019s so obvious. </p>\\n\\n<p>My other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it\\u2019s not him. It\\u2019s always after we get back home and R\\u2019s already left for work that I notice my food\\u2019s gone. My roommate\\u2019s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I\\u2019m guessing cause R doesn\\u2019t like what he buys.</p>\\n\\n<p>The funny thing is R buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what\\u2019s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it.</p>\\n\\n<p>Last week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was to catch/prove R is the one stealing since he\\u2019s lactose intolerant. </p>\\n\\n<p>The nxt day, Saturday, we get back from work and R is pissed. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 mins with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake. I only responded with \\u201cSo then you\\u2019re the one who\\u2019s been stealing?\\u201d </p>\\n\\n<p>He freaking exploded. Yeah he admitted he was \\u201csometimes\\u201d drinking my milk and eating my food but he was more mad that I switched milks than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn\\u2019t have done that if he\\u2019d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of tryna make it seem like I was making it up.</p>\\n\\n<p>My roommate backed me up and thought it was kinda funny he got payback for stealing from us. It\\u2019s a little tense rn and my roommate told me R is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out. Little does he know we\\u2019re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his shit. </p>\\n\\n<p>I told some buddies what happened and a few think I was an asshole for that. I feel like I\\u2019m not in the wrong here. He was taking my food and not even owning up to it and I wanted to prove it, does that make me TA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24050251, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hvcvtt\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for switching to regular milk to prove my lactose intolerant roommate keeps stealing from me?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 46213, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. It\u2019s your food. You could have put your medicine in it or even your pet\u2019s medication in it. You could have put a laxative in it or even syrup of ipecac. And I would still say NTA. When people steal food, lie about it and don\u2019t replace it they reap what they sow. Food is expensive, especially milk substitutes. Without replacing the food he was essentially stealing money from your wallet.", "role": "hcp56", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"hcp56\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [11]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_801vy8g\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. It\\u2019s your food. You could have put your medicine in it or even your pet\\u2019s medication in it. You could have put a laxative in it or even syrup of ipecac. And I would still say NTA. When people steal food, lie about it and don\\u2019t replace it they reap what they sow. Food is expensive, especially milk substitutes. Without replacing the food he was essentially stealing money from your wallet.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. It\\u2019s your food. You could have put your medicine in it or even your pet\\u2019s medication in it. You could have put a laxative in it or even syrup of ipecac. And I would still say NTA. When people steal food, lie about it and don\\u2019t replace it they reap what they sow. Food is expensive, especially milk substitutes. Without replacing the food he was essentially stealing money from your wallet.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595356775.0, \"created_utc\": 1595356775.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fysieqi\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hvcvtt\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fysieqi\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_hvcvtt\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/fysieqi/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 11124, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 11124, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "This comes up in every roommate/coworker stealing food post, but putting substances in your food that you wouldn't eat yourself - laxatives, syrup of ipecac (an emetic substance, causes vomiting) or even excessive spice (beyond what you would eat normally) - is illegal. Essentially booby-trapping or poisoning your food in order to catch a thief is illegal. I also think that OP's roommate would have a case if he decided to sue, since OP disguised regular milk as lactose-free in order to cause someone physical harm.", "role": "-branches-", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"-branches-\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5li4e061\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"This comes up in every roommate/coworker stealing food post, but putting substances in your food that you wouldn't eat yourself - laxatives, syrup of ipecac (an emetic substance, causes vomiting) or even excessive spice (beyond what you would eat normally) - is illegal. Essentially booby-trapping or poisoning your food in order to catch a thief is illegal. I also think that OP's roommate would have a case if he decided to sue, since OP disguised regular milk as lactose-free in order to cause someone physical harm.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This comes up in every roommate/coworker stealing food post, but putting substances in your food that you wouldn't eat yourself - laxatives, syrup of ipecac (an emetic substance, causes vomiting) or even excessive spice (beyond what you would eat normally) - is illegal. Essentially booby-trapping or poisoning your food in order to catch a thief is illegal. I also think that OP's roommate would have a case if he decided to sue, since OP disguised regular milk as lactose-free in order to cause someone physical harm.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 1, \"created\": 1595367156.0, \"created_utc\": 1595367156.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fyt44ql\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_hvcvtt\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fyt44ql\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fysieqi\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/fyt44ql/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 54, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 54, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "1cf3bb5c0552d102", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "fb64c362937731e9", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Technically OP's only mess up was acknowledging they had done it to catch the roommate. Without that, it would be very difficult to sue. OP intended to drink the milk themselves, there's a bunch of different reasons to reuse the container, and the container itself was visibly marked. That stops it from being a trap.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Technically OP's only mess up was acknowledging they had done it to catch the roommate. Without that, it would be very difficult to sue. OP intended to drink the milk themselves, there's a bunch of different reasons to reuse the container, and the container itself was visibly marked. That stops it from being a trap.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1595369187.0, "created_utc": 1595369187.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fyt87sz", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hvcvtt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fyt87sz", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fyt44ql", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/fyt87sz/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "NA", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": null, "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": null, "author_fullname": null, "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": null, "author_premium": null, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> it would be very difficult to sue.\n\nYou can't sue someone if you don't have damages.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>it would be very difficult to sue.</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>You can't sue someone if you don't have damages.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1595369432.0, "created_utc": 1595369432.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fyt8od7", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hvcvtt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fyt8od7", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fyt87sz", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/fyt8od7/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "d644e012db49877a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "4ad6be7eb72e63a1", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "As many people have found out: you sure can try", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>As many people have found out: you sure can try</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1595376243.0, "created_utc": 1595376243.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fytkt98", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hvcvtt", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fytkt98", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fyt8od7", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hvcvtt/aita_for_switching_to_regular_milk_to_prove_my/fytkt98/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], 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|
seconded here, it's definitely around 125 for that here in Los Angeles too, which is notoriously overpriced if you don't know where to look.
|
u3f6ka
|
42a42a38d6bfd537
| 1,649,939,525
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "25 years old (as of June 2022)", "gender": "NA", "location": "Los Angeles, California", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has a mother born in 1960; references personal experiences with gender expression issues in youth ('I so wish I'd had a cool aunt like you when I was younger')"}, "interests": ["Gender identity and expression, particularly supporting youth who don't conform to traditional gender norms ('you're a safe person joining her family, and that you want a relationship with her that respects her as she is')", "Medical conditions and rare diseases, showing detailed knowledge of Prader-Willi syndrome ('rarely not accompanied by severe developmental delays, so this kid is likely not going to learn')", "Disability rights and advocacy, with passionate defense of disabled people's value ('Disabled people have rich lives and stories to share just like the rest of us')", "Relationship dynamics and respect in partnerships, particularly around gender roles ('plenty of women out there who don't care if you can fix door hinges or not')", "Cost of living and pricing in urban areas ('here in Los Angeles too, which is notoriously overpriced if you don't know where to look')", "Mental health and self-worth issues, offering support to those struggling ('you are always enough, just existing and doing your best is enough')", "Social justice issues around traditional masculinity and gender expectations", "Healthcare and diabetes management, understanding Type 1 Diabetes severity"], "values": ["Intrinsic human worth independent of productivity or usefulness ('even if you do absolutely nothing useful, so long as you do your best not to hurt others, you're enough')", "Strong anti-ableism and disability advocacy ('if my taxes go towards making their lives easier then that's exactly *why* I pay them happily')", "Respecting individual identity and authentic self-expression ('that you want a relationship with her that respects her as she is and however she grows')", "Empathy and nuance even toward people making mistakes ('the parents are also fighting a losing battle here so I'd have some grace')", "Opposition to rigid gender roles and stereotypes ('A lot of us, unsurprisingly, can do that ourselves and would be thrilled to have a partner who took on other more regular work')", "Importance of mutual respect as foundation of relationships ('You need to leave relationships in which you're not given a fundamental level of respect')", "Valuing emotional labor and domestic work ('Your gf is currently undervaluing your hard work and I hate that')", "Supporting vulnerable individuals, particularly youth ('you're going to give that girl a wonderful memory')", "Balancing fairness with compassion in judgment ('OP is still NTA, but the parents are also fighting a losing battle')"], "communication": ["Warm, supportive tone with direct personal address ('friend,' 'I hope you're taking care, friend')", "Uses detailed medical and technical explanations when relevant ('This disease becomes really dangerous as kids become large (almost always heavy) adults')", "Frequently validates others' feelings before offering perspective or advice", "Employs parenthetical asides to add context or clarification ('(they were wrong but I understand why they felt how they did)')", "Balances empathy with clear judgment calls using 'but' constructions ('OP is NTA, but the commenters here should be a little more graceful')", "Occasionally uses informal language like 'lol' while maintaining overall articulate expression", "Writes medium-to-long responses with careful nuance and multiple perspectives", "Uses italics for emphasis on key words (*why*, *really*)", "Politely corrects misunderstandings ('I think you replied to the wrong person lol')", "Employs first-person perspective frequently to share personal experiences and opinions"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 60-80 words, with range from 20 words (brief confirmations) to 150+ words (detailed explanations)", "Most frequent phrases include 'NTA,' 'unfortunately,' 'I hope,' 'you are enough,' 'I think you replied to the wrong person'", "Consistently uses first-person perspective with phrases like 'I'm,' 'I think,' 'I hope,' 'I wish'", "Employs complex sentence structures with multiple clauses and subordinate phrases", "Uses parenthetical statements frequently for additional context or clarification", "Shows consistent paragraph structure, typically 2-4 sentences per paragraph in longer responses", "Frequently uses empathetic and validating language ('you are enough,' 'I understand')", "Employs italics for emphasis and 'lol' occasionally for informal tone"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for demanding my husband to pay me the $1000 dollars he spent behind my back?\n\nMy husband (33) and I (31) used to have a 2 income home but in 2020 we've lost our home and one of our incomes (his). We moved into a smaller apartment, had to sell many things and give up most of our \"costly\" habits.\n\nMy husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. we live in an urban area so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is 250$, and he has to have it every week so that'd be nearly 1000 a month!. I offered him to have his session at a regular spa but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he's used to her.\n\nProblem is I'm the only income earner and I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery. I told him to cut his sessions but he refused. I told him I won't be paying for them anymore and he said he'd get the money himself.\n\nYesterday I checked and saw that he's been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and had maxed out completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money. I had to return everything then went home and went off on him. I told him he maxed my card out and made me look like an idiot at the store, he said he didn't tell me cause he knew I'd have an issue with it. I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent but he refused, I yelled at him calling him irresponsible and he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing victim and that this is affecting both of us since he's going to be a parent too and it's stressful for him and I keep dismissing his own needs as a human.\n\nI went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me silent but I kept demanding the money back. he said I shouldn't expect it back since we're married then my money is technically his and I should stop using his unemployement against him.", "role": "throwPricematter1", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwPricematter1\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_lxe6dyzs\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1649935246.0, \"created_utc\": 1649935246.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"u3f6ka\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_u3f6ka\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4477, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23639, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My husband (33) and I (31) used to have a 2 income home but in 2020 we've lost our home and one of our incomes (his). We moved into a smaller apartment, had to sell many things and give up most of our \\\"costly\\\" habits.\\n\\nMy husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. we live in an urban area so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is 250$, and he has to have it every week so that'd be nearly 1000 a month!. I offered him to have his session at a regular spa but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he's used to her.\\n\\nProblem is I'm the only income earner and I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery. I told him to cut his sessions but he refused. I told him I won't be paying for them anymore and he said he'd get the money himself.\\n\\nYesterday I checked and saw that he's been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and had maxed out completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money. I had to return everything then went home and went off on him. I told him he maxed my card out and made me look like an idiot at the store, he said he didn't tell me cause he knew I'd have an issue with it. I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent but he refused, I yelled at him calling him irresponsible and he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing victim and that this is affecting both of us since he's going to be a parent too and it's stressful for him and I keep dismissing his own needs as a human.\\n\\nI went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me silent but I kept demanding the money back. he said I shouldn't expect it back since we're married then my money is technically his and I should stop using his unemployement against him.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My husband (33) and I (31) used to have a 2 income home but in 2020 we've lost our home and one of our incomes (his). We moved into a smaller apartment, had to sell many things and give up most of our "costly" habits.</p>\\n\\n<p>My husband has an expensive habit of going to the spa for a weekly massage session. we live in an urban area so this stuff is ridiculously expensive. A single session is 250$, and he has to have it every week so that'd be nearly 1000 a month!. I offered him to have his session at a regular spa but no, he has to get it from that luxurious spa near the restaurant we used to go saying the lady who gives the massage is an expert and he's used to her.</p>\\n\\n<p>Problem is I'm the only income earner and I'm struggling to make ends meet. I'm also pregnant and need to save money to prepare a nursery. I told him to cut his sessions but he refused. I told him I won't be paying for them anymore and he said he'd get the money himself.</p>\\n\\n<p>Yesterday I checked and saw that he's been using my credit card for his sessions for a whole month and had maxed out completely. I found that out when I went shopping for baby essentials and the cashier said I had no money. I had to return everything then went home and went off on him. I told him he maxed my card out and made me look like an idiot at the store, he said he didn't tell me cause he knew I'd have an issue with it. I demanded he pay back the $1000 he spent but he refused, I yelled at him calling him irresponsible and he got upset and called me selfish and told me to stop playing victim and that this is affecting both of us since he's going to be a parent too and it's stressful for him and I keep dismissing his own needs as a human.</p>\\n\\n<p>I went upstairs and he went out. He started giving me silent but I kept demanding the money back. he said I shouldn't expect it back since we're married then my money is technically his and I should stop using his unemployement against him.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_u3f6ka\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for demanding my husband to pay me the $1000 dollars he spent behind my back?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23639, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA\n\nHe stole from you to buy a luxury. \n\nImmediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don't give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him since he steals from you.\n\nAlso, is there any chance that this \"spa\" treatment actually involves him paying for sex? Because there's something that feels off about all this...", "role": "teresajs", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"teresajs\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ac3d00\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"f524e760-a710-11e9-9bd5-0eabf9e39b18\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Sultan of Sphincter [874]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_o73pu\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA\\n\\nHe stole from you to buy a luxury. \\n\\nImmediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don't give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him since he steals from you.\\n\\nAlso, is there any chance that this \\\"spa\\\" treatment actually involves him paying for sex? Because there's something that feels off about all this...\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA</p>\\n\\n<p>He stole from you to buy a luxury. </p>\\n\\n<p>Immediately cut him off from all access to your money and credit. Don't give him any money at all. And seriously reconsider living with him since he steals from you.</p>\\n\\n<p>Also, is there any chance that this "spa" treatment actually involves him paying for sex? Because there's something that feels off about all this...</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1649936520.0, \"created_utc\": 1649936520.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i4osk5t\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_u3f6ka\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i4osk5t\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_u3f6ka\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4osk5t/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 39842, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 39842, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yeah, I live in a ridiculously expensive urban area and it's about $125 for a one hour massage.", "role": "anathema_deviced", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"anathema_deviced\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#735a17\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Aficionado [18]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9n0gfw8p\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yeah, I live in a ridiculously expensive urban area and it's about $125 for a one hour massage.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yeah, I live in a ridiculously expensive urban area and it's about $125 for a one hour massage.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1649938471.0, \"created_utc\": 1649938471.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i4ovxue\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_u3f6ka\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i4ovxue\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_i4osk5t\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4ovxue/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 3927, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 3927, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "42a42a38d6bfd537", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "7163c2e3bbd0da9c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "seconded here, it's definitely around 125 for that here in Los Angeles too, which is notoriously overpriced if you don't know where to look.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>seconded here, it's definitely around 125 for that here in Los Angeles too, which is notoriously overpriced if you don't know where to look.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649939525.0, "created_utc": 1649939525.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4oxwlp", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4oxwlp", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4ovxue", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4oxwlp/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e5dc41378ac02335", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "4e7385320f1cdd36", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I go to a beautiful spa in San Francisco and get a full body scrub, massage, and several hours to use the hot tub, cold plunge, steam and dry saunas. It $125. Even that is a once every few months treat. \n\nI cannot imagine being in a tight financial situation and spending $1000/month on myself. \n\nOP your definitely NTA.\n\nEdit: Since lots of people are asking, it's Pearl Spa. It's Korean Jimjilbang inspired, women only. It's also nude, clothing isn't an option unless you are in the clay ball room, then you must wear the shorts provided. The service I usually get is actually cheaper, $110. The staff is incredibly nice. \n\nThere is a similar style spa for men, but I don't personally know anyone that has gone there.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I go to a beautiful spa in San Francisco and get a full body scrub, massage, and several hours to use the hot tub, cold plunge, steam and dry saunas. It $125. Even that is a once every few months treat. </p>\n\n<p>I cannot imagine being in a tight financial situation and spending $1000/month on myself. </p>\n\n<p>OP your definitely NTA.</p>\n\n<p>Edit: Since lots of people are asking, it's Pearl Spa. It's Korean Jimjilbang inspired, women only. It's also nude, clothing isn't an option unless you are in the clay ball room, then you must wear the shorts provided. The service I usually get is actually cheaper, $110. The staff is incredibly nice. </p>\n\n<p>There is a similar style spa for men, but I don't personally know anyone that has gone there.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649946012.0, "created_utc": 1649946012.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 1649987991.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4pbzla", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4pbzla", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4oxwlp", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4pbzla/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ab5296822480c116", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "ca60156066fea532", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Because it's massage with \"happy ending\".\n\nOP you're not TA and pls he literally stole from your unborn child, cut him off from finances and think really hard about your marriage. DTMA!", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Because it's massage with "happy ending".</p>\n\n<p>OP you're not TA and pls he literally stole from your unborn child, cut him off from finances and think really hard about your marriage. DTMA!</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649952714.0, "created_utc": 1649952714.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4pt00c", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4pt00c", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pbzla", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4pt00c/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "bc7df54ce34aedac", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e499290b4f94f333", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA, OP. In addition to cutting him off from your accounts, please consider checking your credit regularly to make sure he doesn\u2019t open a new account using your credentials. Ie., in your name. You could get stuck with a lot more debt.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA, OP. In addition to cutting him off from your accounts, please consider checking your credit regularly to make sure he doesn\u2019t open a new account using your credentials. Ie., in your name. You could get stuck with a lot more debt.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649983709.0, "created_utc": 1649983709.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4rvryb", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4rvryb", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pt00c", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4rvryb/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 21, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 21, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 373, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 373, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4e620f176783d301", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "2ce17e064efd82e6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I thought I was splurging for buying a 1,79 \u20ac tissue box lol (for reference you can buy them starting from 0,59).\n\n\nSomething's definitely fishy. I think I paid maybe 50 euros for an hour spa session for my anniversary. I know stuff is more expensive in the US, but still, cmon.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I thought I was splurging for buying a 1,79 \u20ac tissue box lol (for reference you can buy them starting from 0,59).</p>\n\n<p>Something's definitely fishy. I think I paid maybe 50 euros for an hour spa session for my anniversary. I know stuff is more expensive in the US, but still, cmon.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649949934.0, "created_utc": 1649949934.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4plt7e", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4plt7e", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pbzla", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4plt7e/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "2cfe1ca9bedccc03", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [4]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "06aa9d2f38c6e5bd", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Eh, where I live USD$60-70 will get you a very nice 45-50 minute massage most places. $100 for more specialty massages or to include special products. My SO works a very physical job and gets monthly massages at a physical therapist for $75 with his hospital discount. More expensive than the ones I usually get at a spa, but that could be because it's a more medical setting. But most places around here could never get away with charging $150 for a basic hour massage because we're a smaller city with a lower cost of living that someplace like LA or San Francisco.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Eh, where I live USD$60-70 will get you a very nice 45-50 minute massage most places. $100 for more specialty massages or to include special products. My SO works a very physical job and gets monthly massages at a physical therapist for $75 with his hospital discount. More expensive than the ones I usually get at a spa, but that could be because it's a more medical setting. But most places around here could never get away with charging $150 for a basic hour massage because we're a smaller city with a lower cost of living that someplace like LA or San Francisco.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649956550.0, "created_utc": 1649956550.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4q2rab", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4q2rab", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4plt7e", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4q2rab/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 16, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 16, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 30, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 30, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "4297dc448ac6925b", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [4]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "ec4a08b8ed2a43c6", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Are you willing to share the name? I\u2019m looking for a new place.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Are you willing to share the name? I\u2019m looking for a new place.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649948844.0, "created_utc": 1649948844.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4pj19r", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4pj19r", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pbzla", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4pj19r/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0a54357ea62bca4a", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "67bfda6bd0e044a2", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Sounds like Kabuki spa.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Sounds like Kabuki spa.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649950916.0, "created_utc": 1649950916.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4pobo2", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4pobo2", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pj19r", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4pobo2/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 16, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 16, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 21, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 21, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "3830220d1e56ce74", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c56485776fa22ae4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Unrelated but could you send me the name of the spa? Sounds amazing", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Unrelated but could you send me the name of the spa? Sounds amazing</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649948985.0, "created_utc": 1649948985.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4pje4p", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4pje4p", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pbzla", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4pje4p/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "de736ea970176ced", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "27e439445e21a3f9", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Kabuki is the popular one and it's probably that. \n\nThough to be honest there's more expensive massages in SF - especially at hotels or boutique places - so it's not like that's the top ceiling here.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Kabuki is the popular one and it's probably that. </p>\n\n<p>Though to be honest there's more expensive massages in SF - especially at hotels or boutique places - so it's not like that's the top ceiling here.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649953305.0, "created_utc": 1649953305.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4puirz", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4puirz", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4pje4p", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4puirz/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 16, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 16, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 20, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 20, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 1865, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 1865, "user_reports": []}, {"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "696020e44855ed70", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "84265a2cf017d9e8", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "The only $250 massage I've ever had was on a cruise ship for 90 min. NTA.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>The only $250 massage I've ever had was on a cruise ship for 90 min. NTA.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1649944209.0, "created_utc": 1649944209.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i4p7tga", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_u3f6ka", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i4p7tga", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i4oxwlp", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/u3f6ka/aita_for_demanding_my_husband_to_pay_me_the_1000/i4p7tga/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 519, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 519, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2021, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2021, "user_reports": []}
|
So what does she do every Monday?
NTA
|
s74e8q
|
e321ad5bb7a6a60e
| 1,642,532,683
| 1
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and justice in AITA scenarios", "Family dynamics and favoritism issues, particularly supporting scapegoated family members like 'Joe' who was treated worse than his twin", "Property rights and theft cases, showing strong reactions to stolen items like the gaming chair and houseplants", "Child welfare and protection from neglectful or abusive caregivers, as seen in stepmother case where they said 'You are a fabulous person who put the needs of 2 children before a vile person'", "Financial abuse and manipulation in relationships, particularly spousal financial control", "Standing up to disrespectful authority figures like the teacher who demanded to see the student's face", "Boundary-setting in toxic relationships and family situations", "Marital conflicts involving disrespect and humiliation, such as the husband joking about birth experience"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability and consequences for wrongdoing, stating 'she can now face them' regarding the fianc\u00e9e who sold the gaming chair", "Protection of vulnerable individuals, especially children, praising someone for putting 'the needs of 2 children before a vile person'", "Zero tolerance for theft and deception, supporting legal action with 'Call the person who brought the chair and tell him that he's bought stolen property'", "Advocacy for cutting off toxic family members without guilt, telling someone 'You made absolutely the right decision' about breaking up at the airport", "Belief that financial independence is crucial, advising 'Tell the lazy bastard to get off his arse and get a job'", "Support for confrontational responses to mistreatment, celebrating when someone 'got owned and he didn't like it'", "Strong stance against public humiliation and disrespect in relationships", "Belief that actions have natural consequences, saying 'Serves him right for being such a jerk' about the teacher"], "communication": ["Consistently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) verdict format in responses", "Employs short, punchy statements with strong emotional language like 'disgusting,' 'vile,' 'fabulous,' and 'jerk'", "Uses direct profanity for emphasis, calling people 'lazy bastard' and 'leech' when condemning behavior", "Frequently asks clarifying questions like 'So what does she do every Monday?' to understand situations better", "Provides enthusiastic support with phrases like 'Good for you,' 'Well done,' 'Fabulous comeback Lol'", "Uses exclamation points liberally to convey strong emotions and emphasis", "Writes in casual, conversational tone with contractions and informal language", "Balances brief responses (4 words minimum) with more detailed ones (up to 60 words)", "Often includes practical advice alongside moral judgments", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight absurdity: 'What on earth got into your niece to do such a thing?'", "Employs empathetic language like 'I feel your pain OP' when sympathizing with victims"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 20-25 words, with minimum of 4 words ('Absolutely agree with this') and maximum around 60 words", "Most frequent phrase is 'NTA' appearing in every single response as a verdict", "Common words include 'fabulous' (used 3 times), 'serves right,' 'good for you,' 'well done'", "Consistently uses exclamation points for emphasis, appearing in majority of responses", "Sentence structure varies from single-word verdicts to compound sentences with multiple clauses", "Uses direct address to original poster with 'you' and 'OP' frequently", "Employs strong adjectives like 'disgusting,' 'vile,' 'awful,' 'horrible' when describing wrongdoers", "Questions appear in approximately 30% of responses to seek clarification or emphasize points"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for refusing to watch my sister's stepkid and exposing her lies to her husband?\n\nMy f/21 sister Jess, f/30, is married and has a 5 yo stepson. her husband works full time and she is a sahm.\n\n\nEvery monday, she'd call my mom at 9am to get her to go over to her house and watch her stepkid for few hours, I live at home with my parents and so I've noticed this routine for weeks now.\n\nLast week mom went out of town to visit some relatives, and yesterday (monday) at 9am my sister called asking me to come watch her stepkid for few hours because she had an important thing to do. I said no because I had to go study and also she does this every monday so clearly it wasn't important or urgent but she insisted it was, I told her sorry but no. She ended the call then I went to the university.\n\n\nHours later, I got a call from my brother in law asking where my sister was, I said I had no idea. he proceeded to tell me he just came home at 1pm and found his son by himself at the house. I was in shock that my sister left her stepkid by himself so she could go God knows where. I told him about the conversation I had with her and he got angry.\n\nIn the evening my sister came over and started making a scene by yelling at me for bailing on her after she sent me a text message telling me she was already out the house to force me to come watch her stepson. I didn't see the fb message til she told me but she said I did this deliberately and also, exposed her to her husband because she told him she'd be at home with the kid. Not just that, but I also told her husband that mom comes over every monday morning to watch the kid for few hours which caused a huge fight between him and my sister. She yelled that I was petty and selfish and just stirred shit and caused issues in her marriage by tattling to her husband. I couldn't keep arguing I went into my room and started playing music. My dad and the others said I was to blame for not helping my sister and now being the reason she and her husband are in conflict.\n\n\nAITA?\n\nOkay guys so I saw few questions asked multiple times so I'll just put the answers out here for all to see.\n\n1) My brother in law's wife is deceased.\n\n2) brother in law is always at work when my sister calls my mom to get her to come over and watch her stepson.\n\n3) most of you guys are asking where my sister goes every monday, and I even saw someone mention that I was YTA for not finding out, but I don't know anything, I have no idea what's going with my sister and I thought it was non of my business.\n\n\nUPDATE: Guys! I've decided to try and find out what is really going with Jess. I'm not the type to snoop and it's not my business but she already made it my business by turning the family against me because of something she did. Ngl I came here thinking I was going to get toast but I wrong, thank goodness for that. I'll update as soon as possible. Thanks :)", "role": "RoomNum99", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"RoomNum99\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_ipythxo3\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1642530976.0, \"created_utc\": 1642530976.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1642541001.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"s74e8q\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_s74e8q\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2849, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s74e8q/aita_for_refusing_to_watch_my_sisters_stepkid_and/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23230, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"\\n\\nMy f/21 sister Jess, f/30, is married and has a 5 yo stepson. her husband works full time and she is a sahm.\\n\\n\\nEvery monday, she'd call my mom at 9am to get her to go over to her house and watch her stepkid for few hours, I live at home with my parents and so I've noticed this routine for weeks now.\\n\\nLast week mom went out of town to visit some relatives, and yesterday (monday) at 9am my sister called asking me to come watch her stepkid for few hours because she had an important thing to do. I said no because I had to go study and also she does this every monday so clearly it wasn't important or urgent but she insisted it was, I told her sorry but no. She ended the call then I went to the university.\\n\\n\\nHours later, I got a call from my brother in law asking where my sister was, I said I had no idea. he proceeded to tell me he just came home at 1pm and found his son by himself at the house. I was in shock that my sister left her stepkid by himself so she could go God knows where. I told him about the conversation I had with her and he got angry.\\n\\nIn the evening my sister came over and started making a scene by yelling at me for bailing on her after she sent me a text message telling me she was already out the house to force me to come watch her stepson. I didn't see the fb message til she told me but she said I did this deliberately and also, exposed her to her husband because she told him she'd be at home with the kid. Not just that, but I also told her husband that mom comes over every monday morning to watch the kid for few hours which caused a huge fight between him and my sister. She yelled that I was petty and selfish and just stirred shit and caused issues in her marriage by tattling to her husband. I couldn't keep arguing I went into my room and started playing music. My dad and the others said I was to blame for not helping my sister and now being the reason she and her husband are in conflict.\\n\\n\\nAITA?\\n\\nOkay guys so I saw few questions asked multiple times so I'll just put the answers out here for all to see.\\n\\n1) My brother in law's wife is deceased.\\n\\n2) brother in law is always at work when my sister calls my mom to get her to come over and watch her stepson.\\n\\n3) most of you guys are asking where my sister goes every monday, and I even saw someone mention that I was YTA for not finding out, but I don't know anything, I have no idea what's going with my sister and I thought it was non of my business.\\n\\n\\nUPDATE: Guys! I've decided to try and find out what is really going with Jess. I'm not the type to snoop and it's not my business but she already made it my business by turning the family against me because of something she did. Ngl I came here thinking I was going to get toast but I wrong, thank goodness for that. I'll update as soon as possible. Thanks :)\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My f/21 sister Jess, f/30, is married and has a 5 yo stepson. her husband works full time and she is a sahm.</p>\\n\\n<p>Every monday, she'd call my mom at 9am to get her to go over to her house and watch her stepkid for few hours, I live at home with my parents and so I've noticed this routine for weeks now.</p>\\n\\n<p>Last week mom went out of town to visit some relatives, and yesterday (monday) at 9am my sister called asking me to come watch her stepkid for few hours because she had an important thing to do. I said no because I had to go study and also she does this every monday so clearly it wasn't important or urgent but she insisted it was, I told her sorry but no. She ended the call then I went to the university.</p>\\n\\n<p>Hours later, I got a call from my brother in law asking where my sister was, I said I had no idea. he proceeded to tell me he just came home at 1pm and found his son by himself at the house. I was in shock that my sister left her stepkid by himself so she could go God knows where. I told him about the conversation I had with her and he got angry.</p>\\n\\n<p>In the evening my sister came over and started making a scene by yelling at me for bailing on her after she sent me a text message telling me she was already out the house to force me to come watch her stepson. I didn't see the fb message til she told me but she said I did this deliberately and also, exposed her to her husband because she told him she'd be at home with the kid. Not just that, but I also told her husband that mom comes over every monday morning to watch the kid for few hours which caused a huge fight between him and my sister. She yelled that I was petty and selfish and just stirred shit and caused issues in her marriage by tattling to her husband. I couldn't keep arguing I went into my room and started playing music. My dad and the others said I was to blame for not helping my sister and now being the reason she and her husband are in conflict.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA?</p>\\n\\n<p>Okay guys so I saw few questions asked multiple times so I'll just put the answers out here for all to see.</p>\\n\\n<p>1) My brother in law's wife is deceased.</p>\\n\\n<p>2) brother in law is always at work when my sister calls my mom to get her to come over and watch her stepson.</p>\\n\\n<p>3) most of you guys are asking where my sister goes every monday, and I even saw someone mention that I was YTA for not finding out, but I don't know anything, I have no idea what's going with my sister and I thought it was non of my business.</p>\\n\\n<p>UPDATE: Guys! I've decided to try and find out what is really going with Jess. I'm not the type to snoop and it's not my business but she already made it my business by turning the family against me because of something she did. Ngl I came here thinking I was going to get toast but I wrong, thank goodness for that. I'll update as soon as possible. Thanks :)</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049338, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_s74e8q\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for refusing to watch my sister's stepkid and exposing her lies to her husband?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23230, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s74e8q/aita_for_refusing_to_watch_my_sisters_stepkid_and/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "e321ad5bb7a6a60e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9d517d0234c51fe0", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "So what does she do every Monday? \n\nNTA", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>So what does she do every Monday? </p>\n\n<p>NTA</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1642532683.0, "created_utc": 1642532683.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ht7oo79", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_s74e8q", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ht7oo79", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_s74e8q", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s74e8q/aita_for_refusing_to_watch_my_sisters_stepkid_and/ht7oo79/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "a357c3ff4829c0cf", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [7]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "f302118f9e55b898", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I need to know", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I need to know</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1642533494.0, "created_utc": 1642533494.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ht7qudk", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_s74e8q", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ht7qudk", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ht7oo79", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s74e8q/aita_for_refusing_to_watch_my_sisters_stepkid_and/ht7qudk/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 13, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 13, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 33, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 33, "user_reports": []}
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Oh. I thought that was a typo and she meant to say they were left "unread."
Well, then that's even worse. Shows that she didn't really give a damn, and that her partying was more important to her. Either that, or she was too drunk or stoned to really comprehend what was happening.
I mean, she came home and wondered where everyone was. If she had understood the text messages, she would have known. Maybe she glanced at them, but didn't really read them.
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{"demographics": {"age group": "29-30 years old (was 28 in October 2021, last response February 2023)", "gender": "Female (explicitly stated 'I (28F)' in babysitting post response)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA (mentioned doing babysitting for extra cash on weekends, suggesting possible primary occupation elsewhere)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and conflicts, particularly involving in-laws and extended family", "Parenting issues and childcare situations, including irresponsible parent behavior", "Romantic relationship problems and partner conflicts", "Boundary violations and personal space invasions", "Power dynamics and manipulation tactics in relationships", "Stories of betrayal and family drama, especially sibling conflicts", "Toxic behavior patterns and identifying red flags in relationships", "Justice and accountability for people who mistreat others", "LGBTQ+ relationship issues and discrimination", "Religious hypocrisy and conservative family dynamics", "Situations involving deliberate sabotage or passive-aggressive behavior", "Child welfare and protection from neglectful parents"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and the right to enforce them ('she was willing to allow it to get lost or killed for her own convenience')", "Emphasis on respect in relationships and family dynamics ('This shows a lack of respect for other people')", "Support for accountability and consequences for bad behavior ('If she loses her kids it's because she had a documented history')", "Empathy for victims of manipulation and betrayal ('I'm so sorry. Not just for the betrayal and miscarriage but for the gaslighting as well')", "Opposition to toxic family dynamics and enabling behavior ('sounds like your son needs to grow up a little')", "Belief in protecting vulnerable parties, especially children and pets ('I would take steps to ensure the cat safety')", "Value of honesty and transparency over keeping harmful secrets ('You absolutely did the right thing!')", "Recognition of power plays and control tactics ('It's definitely a power play! She wants to show her that she's the dominant one')", "Support for people standing up to family pressure and toxic expectations", "Belief that actions reveal character ('She is showing her true side, and it's better to know now than after marriage')", "Advocacy for walking away from toxic situations ('Honestly, I think she's better off just walking away')", "Opposition to victim-blaming and gaslighting in relationships"], "communication": ["Uses frequent exclamation points for emphasis and emotional expression ('Right?!', 'Exactly!', 'Unbelievable!')", "Employs rhetorical questions to make points ('Who says something like that about a person losing their baby?!', 'What kind of mindset does that??')", "Begins responses with agreement markers like 'Right?', 'Yeah', 'Exactly!' to show solidarity", "Writes in conversational, accessible tone with casual language ('Yeah, really', 'I mean, seriously')", "Uses conditional reasoning to explore scenarios ('what if the 3yo went into the other room, and the guy got out of the shower')", "Identifies behavioral patterns with psychological terms ('power play', 'manipulation', 'sabotage', 'codependent')", "Provides detailed analysis and reasoning for conclusions ('She was clearly partying and didn't even bother to look at her phone')", "Employs empathetic language and emotional support ('Sorry she called you \"indecent\" and all the other stuff \ud83d\ude41')", "Uses humor and sarcasm occasionally ('Thanks for the laugh. That was hilarious.')", "Varies response length from brief affirmations to detailed multi-paragraph analyses", "Frequently quotes or references specific details from original posts to support arguments", "Uses phrases like 'sounds like', 'shows that', 'clearly' to draw conclusions from behavior"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from 2 words ('Exactly!') to approximately 200+ words in longest responses", "Average response length approximately 40-60 words", "Most frequent words/phrases: 'Exactly', 'Right', 'Yeah', 'sounds like', 'shows', 'clearly', 'NTA', 'power play'", "Frequent use of exclamation points (appears in majority of responses)", "Common sentence starters: 'Yeah', 'Right?', 'Exactly!', 'So', 'Honestly', 'Definitely'", "Uses rhetorical questions in approximately 40% of responses", "Employs conditional 'if...then' statements frequently to explore hypotheticals", "Often structures responses as: agreement/validation + analysis + advice/conclusion", "Uses emojis occasionally for emotional expression (\ud83d\ude41, \ud83d\ude42)", "Frequently employs parenthetical asides to add context or emphasis"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for calling the police on my client?\n\nI (28F) do babysitting on the weekends to make some babysitting on the weekends to make extra cash. There is one family I definitely should've fazed out by now but the kids are cute and if I don't have another job, it's easy money. My issue is, the mom is never home on time. She used to not give me return times but finally I started asking as it made it impossible to get anything done on the weekends. I'd go babysit so she could go to \"brunch\" but she'd be gone from 11 AM to 7 PM. My whole day was gone. After that, she'd start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn't even call to tell me, she'd just stay out.\n\nOn Saturday, I got to her house at 6 and she was supposed to be home by 9. I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. I was even getting ready at their house after I put the kids to be. She promised. Of course, 9:00 rolls around and she's not home. I call her, no response. Text, no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined but I'm pissed and exhausted. I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she's not home in the next hour, I'm considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops. I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later and it goes to voicemail on the second ring, I text her again and she leaves me on read. If she had reached out saying \"Hey, I'm staying out until x time\", I would've stayed. I don't know any of her family nor the father of the kids so I can't call them. I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again, finally called the cops (non-emergency line). They showed up and I showed our agreement in text from earlier in the week confirming that she'd be home by 9. They try contacting her, didn't answer. I was dismissed and they took the children to the police station. I go home and go to bed.\n\nI am awoken at 3 AM by a frantic call. It's her. Where are the kids? Why am I not here? I tell her I followed through on my threat, check the police station. She cursed me out, I hung up and went to bed.\n\nThe next day, she sends me an essay saying the kids' father was called and there's a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun but I didn't think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids. She said I should've just waited it out and refuse to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being petty.", "role": "Electronic_Professor", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Electronic_Professor\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_49ehoawj\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1635372898.0, \"created_utc\": 1635372898.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"qh81za\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4040, \"num_crossposts\": 8, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 31882, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \" \\n\\nI (28F) do babysitting on the weekends to make some babysitting on the weekends to make extra cash. There is one family I definitely should've fazed out by now but the kids are cute and if I don't have another job, it's easy money. My issue is, the mom is never home on time. She used to not give me return times but finally I started asking as it made it impossible to get anything done on the weekends. I'd go babysit so she could go to \\\"brunch\\\" but she'd be gone from 11 AM to 7 PM. My whole day was gone. After that, she'd start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn't even call to tell me, she'd just stay out.\\n\\nOn Saturday, I got to her house at 6 and she was supposed to be home by 9. I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. I was even getting ready at their house after I put the kids to be. She promised. Of course, 9:00 rolls around and she's not home. I call her, no response. Text, no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined but I'm pissed and exhausted. I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she's not home in the next hour, I'm considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops. I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later and it goes to voicemail on the second ring, I text her again and she leaves me on read. If she had reached out saying \\\"Hey, I'm staying out until x time\\\", I would've stayed. I don't know any of her family nor the father of the kids so I can't call them. I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again, finally called the cops (non-emergency line). They showed up and I showed our agreement in text from earlier in the week confirming that she'd be home by 9. They try contacting her, didn't answer. I was dismissed and they took the children to the police station. I go home and go to bed.\\n\\nI am awoken at 3 AM by a frantic call. It's her. Where are the kids? Why am I not here? I tell her I followed through on my threat, check the police station. She cursed me out, I hung up and went to bed.\\n\\nThe next day, she sends me an essay saying the kids' father was called and there's a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun but I didn't think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids. She said I should've just waited it out and refuse to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being petty.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I (28F) do babysitting on the weekends to make some babysitting on the weekends to make extra cash. There is one family I definitely should've fazed out by now but the kids are cute and if I don't have another job, it's easy money. My issue is, the mom is never home on time. She used to not give me return times but finally I started asking as it made it impossible to get anything done on the weekends. I'd go babysit so she could go to "brunch" but she'd be gone from 11 AM to 7 PM. My whole day was gone. After that, she'd start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn't even call to tell me, she'd just stay out.</p>\\n\\n<p>On Saturday, I got to her house at 6 and she was supposed to be home by 9. I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. I was even getting ready at their house after I put the kids to be. She promised. Of course, 9:00 rolls around and she's not home. I call her, no response. Text, no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined but I'm pissed and exhausted. I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she's not home in the next hour, I'm considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops. I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later and it goes to voicemail on the second ring, I text her again and she leaves me on read. If she had reached out saying "Hey, I'm staying out until x time", I would've stayed. I don't know any of her family nor the father of the kids so I can't call them. I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again, finally called the cops (non-emergency line). They showed up and I showed our agreement in text from earlier in the week confirming that she'd be home by 9. They try contacting her, didn't answer. I was dismissed and they took the children to the police station. I go home and go to bed.</p>\\n\\n<p>I am awoken at 3 AM by a frantic call. It's her. Where are the kids? Why am I not here? I tell her I followed through on my threat, check the police station. She cursed me out, I hung up and went to bed.</p>\\n\\n<p>The next day, she sends me an essay saying the kids' father was called and there's a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun but I didn't think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids. She said I should've just waited it out and refuse to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being petty.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for calling the police on my client?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 31882, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.98, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. 30-odd minutes late is excusable. But she told you- in writing- that she'd be our for 3 hours, and ended up staying out for 9. That's not something that happens by accident. And not being contactable by your babysitter is rank negligence. What if one of her kids had had an accident? Oh yes, she'd have blamed that on you as well. Nothing more important than her fun, and that includes her kids. Stand your ground. And maybe warn any other babysitters who she might try to con into working for her in the future.", "role": "nebagram", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"nebagram\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [7]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8piqz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. 30-odd minutes late is excusable. But she told you- in writing- that she'd be our for 3 hours, and ended up staying out for 9. That's not something that happens by accident. And not being contactable by your babysitter is rank negligence. What if one of her kids had had an accident? Oh yes, she'd have blamed that on you as well. Nothing more important than her fun, and that includes her kids. Stand your ground. And maybe warn any other babysitters who she might try to con into working for her in the future.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. 30-odd minutes late is excusable. But she told you- in writing- that she'd be our for 3 hours, and ended up staying out for 9. That's not something that happens by accident. And not being contactable by your babysitter is rank negligence. What if one of her kids had had an accident? Oh yes, she'd have blamed that on you as well. Nothing more important than her fun, and that includes her kids. Stand your ground. And maybe warn any other babysitters who she might try to con into working for her in the future.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1635373513.0, \"created_utc\": 1635373513.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hib1rfl\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hib1rfl\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/hib1rfl/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5149, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5149, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "As a social worker and therapist myself who has seen this shit go down, she probably has a substance problem. I mean, to tell someone who is caring for your children that you\u2019ll be gone for 3 hours and end up staying out for 9 is a major parental transgression. Not to even mention the part where she sent the calls to voicemail and left the texts on read even after OP threatened to call the police and report them abandoned. Things like this don\u2019t just slip your mind, unless you *really* aren\u2019t sober and I hope DCFS does go through with an investigation. \n\nIf she does lose her kids, a LOT of steps have to be taken first. They don\u2019t just take your kids on a whim. The case in question has to go through an entire legal process before a judge orders the children to be removed. So OP is totally not to be blamed. If she loses her kids it\u2019s because she had a documented history of shitty parenting that finally caught up to her.", "role": "Therapizemecaptain", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Therapizemecaptain\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_9d5qu9yu\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"As a social worker and therapist myself who has seen this shit go down, she probably has a substance problem. I mean, to tell someone who is caring for your children that you\\u2019ll be gone for 3 hours and end up staying out for 9 is a major parental transgression. Not to even mention the part where she sent the calls to voicemail and left the texts on read even after OP threatened to call the police and report them abandoned. Things like this don\\u2019t just slip your mind, unless you *really* aren\\u2019t sober and I hope DCFS does go through with an investigation. \\n\\nIf she does lose her kids, a LOT of steps have to be taken first. They don\\u2019t just take your kids on a whim. The case in question has to go through an entire legal process before a judge orders the children to be removed. So OP is totally not to be blamed. If she loses her kids it\\u2019s because she had a documented history of shitty parenting that finally caught up to her.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>As a social worker and therapist myself who has seen this shit go down, she probably has a substance problem. I mean, to tell someone who is caring for your children that you\\u2019ll be gone for 3 hours and end up staying out for 9 is a major parental transgression. Not to even mention the part where she sent the calls to voicemail and left the texts on read even after OP threatened to call the police and report them abandoned. Things like this don\\u2019t just slip your mind, unless you <em>really</em> aren\\u2019t sober and I hope DCFS does go through with an investigation. </p>\\n\\n<p>If she does lose her kids, a LOT of steps have to be taken first. They don\\u2019t just take your kids on a whim. The case in question has to go through an entire legal process before a judge orders the children to be removed. So OP is totally not to be blamed. If she loses her kids it\\u2019s because she had a documented history of shitty parenting that finally caught up to her.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1635376828.0, \"created_utc\": 1635376828.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1635377153.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hib993a\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hib993a\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hib1rfl\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/hib993a/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 5983, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 5983, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Exactly! Someone \"having dinner with friends\" would at least look at text messages. She was clearly partying and didn't even bother to look at her phone. Completely irresponsible parenting", "role": "nrgins", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"nrgins\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [7]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3lsmv\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Exactly! Someone \\\"having dinner with friends\\\" would at least look at text messages. She was clearly partying and didn't even bother to look at her phone. Completely irresponsible parenting\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Exactly! Someone "having dinner with friends" would at least look at text messages. She was clearly partying and didn't even bother to look at her phone. Completely irresponsible parenting</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1635379749.0, \"created_utc\": 1635379749.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hibfqoj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hibfqoj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hib993a\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/hibfqoj/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 146, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 146, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I'd like to point out, she didn't \"not read\" the texts. OP says she was \"left on read\" meaning she got and read the text, and actively ignored it.", "role": "AnonNo9001", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"AnonNo9001\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_fjrh4k5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I'd like to point out, she didn't \\\"not read\\\" the texts. OP says she was \\\"left on read\\\" meaning she got and read the text, and actively ignored it.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'd like to point out, she didn't "not read" the texts. OP says she was "left on read" meaning she got and read the text, and actively ignored it.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1635418356.0, \"created_utc\": 1635418356.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"hid6e00\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_qh81za\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_hid6e00\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_hibfqoj\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/hid6e00/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 15, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 15, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "fd1001a97d8dc752", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [7]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "676ed644f4a4c42a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oh. I thought that was a typo and she meant to say they were left \"unread.\"\n\nWell, then that's even worse. Shows that she didn't really give a damn, and that her partying was more important to her. Either that, or she was too drunk or stoned to really comprehend what was happening. \n\nI mean, she came home and wondered where everyone was. If she had understood the text messages, she would have known. Maybe she glanced at them, but didn't really read them.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oh. I thought that was a typo and she meant to say they were left "unread."</p>\n\n<p>Well, then that's even worse. Shows that she didn't really give a damn, and that her partying was more important to her. Either that, or she was too drunk or stoned to really comprehend what was happening. </p>\n\n<p>I mean, she came home and wondered where everyone was. If she had understood the text messages, she would have known. Maybe she glanced at them, but didn't really read them.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1635421312.0, "created_utc": 1635421312.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hidarp2", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_qh81za", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hidarp2", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_hid6e00", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/qh81za/aita_for_calling_the_police_on_my_client/hidarp2/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 9, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 9, "user_reports": []}
|
NTA. You will be if you marry this man though. His mother is marrying him and using you as the proxy, and he is fine with that. He will do whatever she wants at the click of her fingers and will set you on fire to keep her warm.
Don't salvage this relationship, absolutely torch it. There is nothing worth saving and you'll be consigning yourself to years of emotional damage if you go through with this.
|
xly6yk
|
471b3006bf6be458
| 1,663,943,431
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family relationship dynamics and conflicts between spouses and in-laws", "Toxic relationship patterns and controlling behavior in marriages", "Boundary violations and privacy issues within families", "Parent-child relationships and parental manipulation", "Power dynamics in romantic relationships and marriages", "Financial control and manipulation in partnerships", "Mother-in-law interference in marriages", "Gaslighting and emotional manipulation tactics", "Wedding planning conflicts and family expectations", "Sibling relationships and family loyalty conflicts", "Parental favoritism and unequal treatment of children"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy and the right to make one's own choices, as shown in 'if you want to be treated like family, you act like family'", "Firm stance against manipulation and controlling behavior, stating 'he's controlling, patronising, condescending, and manipulative'", "Advocacy for setting firm boundaries even at the cost of relationships, advising to 'absolutely torch it. There is nothing worth saving'", "Belief that promises and commitments should be honored, criticizing the father who 'deliberately made a fool out of me'", "Opposition to double standards, pointing out 'when he was earning more he wanted split finances because he didn't want to support you'", "Value of equal treatment and fairness, asking 'why one child's life is more important than the other'", "Belief that respect must be reciprocal in relationships, noting 'if you want to be treated like family, you act like family'", "Strong stance that partners should prioritize their spouse over parents, stating 'He'll protect his mother at all costs'", "Advocacy for ending toxic relationships rather than maintaining peace, advising 'Choose whether you want a relationship with your son or a relationship with your toxic husband'", "Belief in standing up for oneself against authority figures, encouraging 'You've dared to have a spine and the parents want to punish you for it'", "Opposition to using guilt and obligation to control others"], "communication": ["Always begins responses with clear judgment abbreviations 'NTA' or 'YTA' to establish position immediately", "Uses direct, confrontational language without softening criticism, such as 'I can smell the entitlement and insecurity from here'", "Employs vivid metaphors and dramatic imagery like 'will set you on fire to keep her warm' and 'absolutely torch it'", "Frequently uses rhetorical questions to highlight contradictions, asking 'Yet the man who's been their father their whole lives is suddenly less than?'", "Structures responses to first identify core issues, then explain problems, then provide decisive advice", "Uses emphatic language and absolutes like 'literally nothing', 'absolutely no chance', 'zero tolerance'", "Quotes or paraphrases the original post to highlight problematic behavior, as in 'My husband did something amazing... however it wasn't being done how I wanted'", "Provides ultimatum-style advice, stating 'Be blunt, she leaves and you get into couples counselling now'", "Uses short, punchy sentences for emphasis alongside longer explanatory ones", "Employs sarcasm and pointed observations to criticize behavior", "Frequently ends with warnings about future consequences if behavior continues"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 60-70 words, with range from 30 words minimum to 100 words maximum", "Most responses consist of 2-4 sentences with clear paragraph breaks", "Frequently uses phrases 'NTA' (appears in 9 of 10 responses), 'reconsider this relationship', 'will only get worse'", "Common word patterns include 'choose whether', 'protect/protecting', 'at all costs', 'fine with', 'has no issue'", "Uses conditional sentence structures frequently: 'If you... then you...'", "Employs imperative mood for advice-giving: 'Choose', 'Ask him', 'Be blunt', 'Don't salvage'", "Consistently uses present tense for describing ongoing situations and future tense for predictions", "Frequently uses possessive pronouns to emphasize ownership and responsibility: 'his mother', 'your husband', 'their father'"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?\n\nMy fiance M33, and I F28 are getting married in december. His mom is the intrusive type but she's nice overall and we....somewhat get along.\n\n\nI hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare. His mom wasn't willing to agree on most things, and my fiance said that since he's her only son then I should respect and appreciate this \"vision\" she has for the wedding and how it should be.\n\n\nShe insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that \"she always pictured her son's bride in it\" mom and friends thought this line was creepy. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her \"vision\" but told her that I'd already decided on a dress that I had \"envisioned\" myself wearing at my wedding!.\n\n\nShe got all pissy because of it apparently, then must've told my fiance because, he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and \"turned down\" her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process. I asked \"what process?\" duh it's just a wedding dress...my wedding dress so I really didn't get how she should get a say at all!. He got upset and said that this attitude of mine isn't working on him or his mom. He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that \"both dresses weren't that much different anyway\" like she said but I told him yes they were different...like so much different.\n\n\nAnyways, We argued about it then we dropped it. Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted. I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calmn down and really give this dress \"a chance\". I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had an argument. I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it's his wedding too so it wasn't cool how I screamed at him. He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a \"vision\" and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter inlaw.\n\n\nMom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn't worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws. He suggested I wisen up and \"go with the flow\" but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?. AITA for my reaction?\n\nETD Q & As\n\nI'm editing in some answers to frequent questions I get.\n\nA. The dress she picked wasn't all too crazy but just wasn't my type.\n\nB. This issue started during wedding planning and there were other things...like way too many things we didn't agree on. but this \"vision\" has been there for...quite a while.\n\nC. I AM paying for the dress obviously.\n\nD. My fiance's dad is deceased. also, his mom suffered from multiple health conditions. Has no daughters but one only son.\n\nE. He's still presisting...", "role": "Throwaway9757657", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Throwaway9757657\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_sr0rzzws\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1663941132.0, \"created_utc\": 1663941132.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1663948212.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"xly6yk\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_xly6yk\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 8873, \"num_crossposts\": 17, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xly6yk/aita_for_my_reaction_when_i_learned_that_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 34197, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"My fiance M33, and I F28 are getting married in december. His mom is the intrusive type but she's nice overall and we....somewhat get along.\\n\\n\\nI hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare. His mom wasn't willing to agree on most things, and my fiance said that since he's her only son then I should respect and appreciate this \\\"vision\\\" she has for the wedding and how it should be.\\n\\n\\nShe insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that \\\"she always pictured her son's bride in it\\\" mom and friends thought this line was creepy. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her \\\"vision\\\" but told her that I'd already decided on a dress that I had \\\"envisioned\\\" myself wearing at my wedding!.\\n\\n\\nShe got all pissy because of it apparently, then must've told my fiance because, he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and \\\"turned down\\\" her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process. I asked \\\"what process?\\\" duh it's just a wedding dress...my wedding dress so I really didn't get how she should get a say at all!. He got upset and said that this attitude of mine isn't working on him or his mom. He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that \\\"both dresses weren't that much different anyway\\\" like she said but I told him yes they were different...like so much different.\\n\\n\\nAnyways, We argued about it then we dropped it. Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted. I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calmn down and really give this dress \\\"a chance\\\". I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had an argument. I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it's his wedding too so it wasn't cool how I screamed at him. He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a \\\"vision\\\" and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter inlaw.\\n\\n\\nMom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn't worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws. He suggested I wisen up and \\\"go with the flow\\\" but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?. AITA for my reaction?\\n\\nETD Q & As\\n\\nI'm editing in some answers to frequent questions I get.\\n\\nA. The dress she picked wasn't all too crazy but just wasn't my type.\\n\\nB. This issue started during wedding planning and there were other things...like way too many things we didn't agree on. but this \\\"vision\\\" has been there for...quite a while.\\n\\nC. I AM paying for the dress obviously.\\n\\nD. My fiance's dad is deceased. also, his mom suffered from multiple health conditions. Has no daughters but one only son.\\n\\nE. He's still presisting...\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>My fiance M33, and I F28 are getting married in december. His mom is the intrusive type but she's nice overall and we....somewhat get along.</p>\\n\\n<p>I hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare. His mom wasn't willing to agree on most things, and my fiance said that since he's her only son then I should respect and appreciate this "vision" she has for the wedding and how it should be.</p>\\n\\n<p>She insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that "she always pictured her son's bride in it" mom and friends thought this line was creepy. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her "vision" but told her that I'd already decided on a dress that I had "envisioned" myself wearing at my wedding!.</p>\\n\\n<p>She got all pissy because of it apparently, then must've told my fiance because, he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and "turned down" her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process. I asked "what process?" duh it's just a wedding dress...my wedding dress so I really didn't get how she should get a say at all!. He got upset and said that this attitude of mine isn't working on him or his mom. He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that "both dresses weren't that much different anyway" like she said but I told him yes they were different...like so much different.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyways, We argued about it then we dropped it. Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted. I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calmn down and really give this dress "a chance". I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had an argument. I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it's his wedding too so it wasn't cool how I screamed at him. He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a "vision" and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter inlaw.</p>\\n\\n<p>Mom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn't worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws. He suggested I wisen up and "go with the flow" but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?. AITA for my reaction?</p>\\n\\n<p>ETD Q & As</p>\\n\\n<p>I'm editing in some answers to frequent questions I get.</p>\\n\\n<p>A. The dress she picked wasn't all too crazy but just wasn't my type.</p>\\n\\n<p>B. This issue started during wedding planning and there were other things...like way too many things we didn't agree on. but this "vision" has been there for...quite a while.</p>\\n\\n<p>C. I AM paying for the dress obviously.</p>\\n\\n<p>D. My fiance's dad is deceased. also, his mom suffered from multiple health conditions. Has no daughters but one only son.</p>\\n\\n<p>E. He's still presisting...</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_xly6yk\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 34197, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xly6yk/aita_for_my_reaction_when_i_learned_that_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "471b3006bf6be458", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [2]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "52a4ba38058263a4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. You will be if you marry this man though. His mother is marrying him and using you as the proxy, and he is fine with that. He will do whatever she wants at the click of her fingers and will set you on fire to keep her warm.\n\nDon't salvage this relationship, absolutely torch it. There is nothing worth saving and you'll be consigning yourself to years of emotional damage if you go through with this.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. You will be if you marry this man though. His mother is marrying him and using you as the proxy, and he is fine with that. He will do whatever she wants at the click of her fingers and will set you on fire to keep her warm.</p>\n\n<p>Don't salvage this relationship, absolutely torch it. There is nothing worth saving and you'll be consigning yourself to years of emotional damage if you go through with this.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1663943431.0, "created_utc": 1663943431.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "iplmlzx", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_xly6yk", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_iplmlzx", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_xly6yk", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xly6yk/aita_for_my_reaction_when_i_learned_that_my/iplmlzx/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 67, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 67, "user_reports": []}
|
What gets me is her weird logic. She just thought that him being nice to Joe was a joke but being nice to her was flirting. There's no logic there and she's twisting things to suit her own agenda. I'm hoping Joe realizes how immature she is and moves on.
|
i1z11d
|
90295dfa4b69c682
| 1,596,332,097
| 4
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal conflict resolution and relationship dynamics, particularly in AITA scenarios", "Family relationship issues including sibling dynamics and parent-child conflicts", "Personal boundaries and autonomy in living situations and social contexts", "Dating and romantic relationship scenarios, including rejection and social manipulation", "Medical conditions and accommodations, including thyroid disorders, diabetes, and phobias", "Social etiquette and appropriate behavior in various contexts", "Marijuana legalization and personal freedom regarding substance use", "Analyzing manipulative behavior and identifying hidden agendas in social situations", "Living arrangement conflicts and roommate/houseguest dynamics", "Practical problem-solving in interpersonal disputes", "Social expectations versus personal rights and freedoms"], "values": ["Strong emphasis on personal boundaries and the right to autonomy in one's own space, as shown by 'You are allowed to do whatever you want in your own home'", "Belief in direct communication and honesty over manipulation, criticizing those who use deception", "Support for logical thinking and personal responsibility, stating parents 'obviously fucked up in so many ways'", "Intolerance for entitled behavior and those who exploit others' generosity", "Respect for medical autonomy and individual health decisions, defending diabetic testing rights", "Empathy for genuine struggles while critical of those who fake conditions for sympathy", "Value placed on loyalty and respect in relationships, supporting partners who trust each other", "Belief that people should face consequences for disrespectful behavior", "Support for individual rights including legal substance use", "Emphasis on mutual respect and reciprocity in relationships and living arrangements", "Appreciation for maturity and emotional intelligence in handling conflicts"], "communication": ["Direct and assertive writing style with clear judgments, consistently opening with 'NTA' verdicts", "Frequent use of bullet points to organize complex thoughts and break down situations systematically", "Casual, conversational language including phrases like 'oh boy,' 'Bleh,' 'FFS,' and 'in all honesty'", "Detailed analytical approach, identifying underlying motivations such as 'I wouldn't doubt for a second that Joe's girlfriend is hooked on the idea'", "Use of specific calculations and numbers for emphasis, like '94.5564% of the time' to make concrete points", "Provides actionable advice and practical solutions, such as 'I'd tell them that it isn't working out'", "Employs rhetorical questions and parenthetical asides to add nuance to arguments", "Tone varies from supportive ('Good luck!') to critically blunt depending on the situation", "Uses emphatic language selectively for impact without overusing caps or excessive formatting", "Balances short punchy statements with longer analytical paragraphs for variety", "Often quotes or references specific parts of the original post to ground analysis in evidence"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from brief 15-20 word comments to detailed 200+ word analyses", "Average response length approximately 80-120 words across all examples", "Frequently uses phrases 'NTA,' 'I would,' 'oh boy,' 'in all honesty,' 'Good luck,' and 'FFS'", "Common sentence patterns include conditional statements ('If they had just said'), direct assertions ('You aren't remotely an AH'), and analytical observations ('What gets me is')", "Employs bullet points in approximately 30% of longer responses for organization", "Uses parenthetical asides regularly to add context or clarification", "Balances simple and complex sentence structures, mixing short declarative statements with longer analytical passages", "Consistent use of dashes for emphasis and to set off clauses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for pushing off a girl my lap and making her cry?\n\nI \\[19M\\] just started dating a girl I really, really like a couple months ago. I was hanging out with my friend (I'll call Joe\\] who is also 19, and has a crush on this girl \"Sarah\" \\[18F\\]. Anyway, we were all hanging out and there were no more seats in the car, so I suggested she sit on Joe's lap, but she chose to sit on mine, so I put a jacket on my lap so she wasn't directly on me. I felt really uncomfortable because she's just sitting her bony ass on me and I have a girlfriend, who she knows I have.\n\nAnyway, when we stopped to get gas I made her sit on my friend's lap instead and she started to full on cry because I didn't want her to sit on me and I had put a jacket. I felt awkward and bad for my friend who likes her and she was just crying on his lap and said I was a jerk.\n\nShe ended up texting me saying we have to talk about us and I said, \"what are you talking about 'us?'\" and she said that I was giving her mixed signals because she thought there was something between us. I said nope, I'm like this with all my friends, and she said I thought you were like that with Joe as a joke because he's just your friend but me it's because you liked me, and that it made her confused because she knows I have a girlfriend. I said \"nope, I'm like that with everyone\" and told her I'm happy with my girlfriend and I don't want to date her. She called me an asshole and I haven't seen her since. Her best friend texted me and said I was being an asshole. I told my girlfriend \\[19F\\] against my friends wishes (who are also her friends, not Sarah, but Joe is) and she laughed and said that boys are so oblivious and that she could tell Sarah had a crush on me but she trusted me to make the right choices. Basically, she didn't really care, just thought Sarah was kind of crappy for trying to go after a guy with a girlfriend.\n\nSo, AITA? I legit didn't really know she had a crush on me. It kind of dawned on me that night. I never pursued her. I slept over her house once because I was too drunk to drive but I slept on the floor and didn't let her near me, and I would mention my girlfriend a lot because I'm excited about dating her. Apparently she thought I liked her because she once asked me if I would join her art club and I said sure. I don't understand girls. I really don't.\n\n\u200b\n\nUpdate: Wow, THIS BLEW UP! Sarah and Joe ended up hanging out on their own, apparently, and she ended up trashing me, saying I was an asshole, how she liked me, etc. Joe told me privately that he knew she had a crush on me but wanted to see what I would do/enjoy the show because he thought the drama was funny. She ended up texting me again and saying how I was a jerk and basically the friendship imploded. The last thing she said was that she wasn't sorry and I said \"well I can be sorry for the both of us.\" Joe still has a crush on her and I'm sure he's still trying to date her. But, that's pretty much it for that. My girlfriend loves all the comments calling her a keeper and has found the entire situation hilarious. She really is a keeper. Thanks, everyone!", "role": "Whole_Butterscotch_1", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Whole_Butterscotch_1\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_7iidkuup\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1596313304.0, \"created_utc\": 1596313304.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1596395749.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"i1z11d\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_i1z11d\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1367, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i1z11d/aita_for_pushing_off_a_girl_my_lap_and_making_her/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25198, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I \\\\[19M\\\\] just started dating a girl I really, really like a couple months ago. I was hanging out with my friend (I'll call Joe\\\\] who is also 19, and has a crush on this girl \\\"Sarah\\\" \\\\[18F\\\\]. Anyway, we were all hanging out and there were no more seats in the car, so I suggested she sit on Joe's lap, but she chose to sit on mine, so I put a jacket on my lap so she wasn't directly on me. I felt really uncomfortable because she's just sitting her bony ass on me and I have a girlfriend, who she knows I have.\\n\\nAnyway, when we stopped to get gas I made her sit on my friend's lap instead and she started to full on cry because I didn't want her to sit on me and I had put a jacket. I felt awkward and bad for my friend who likes her and she was just crying on his lap and said I was a jerk.\\n\\nShe ended up texting me saying we have to talk about us and I said, \\\"what are you talking about 'us?'\\\" and she said that I was giving her mixed signals because she thought there was something between us. I said nope, I'm like this with all my friends, and she said I thought you were like that with Joe as a joke because he's just your friend but me it's because you liked me, and that it made her confused because she knows I have a girlfriend. I said \\\"nope, I'm like that with everyone\\\" and told her I'm happy with my girlfriend and I don't want to date her. She called me an asshole and I haven't seen her since. Her best friend texted me and said I was being an asshole. I told my girlfriend \\\\[19F\\\\] against my friends wishes (who are also her friends, not Sarah, but Joe is) and she laughed and said that boys are so oblivious and that she could tell Sarah had a crush on me but she trusted me to make the right choices. Basically, she didn't really care, just thought Sarah was kind of crappy for trying to go after a guy with a girlfriend.\\n\\nSo, AITA? I legit didn't really know she had a crush on me. It kind of dawned on me that night. I never pursued her. I slept over her house once because I was too drunk to drive but I slept on the floor and didn't let her near me, and I would mention my girlfriend a lot because I'm excited about dating her. Apparently she thought I liked her because she once asked me if I would join her art club and I said sure. I don't understand girls. I really don't.\\n\\n​\\n\\nUpdate: Wow, THIS BLEW UP! Sarah and Joe ended up hanging out on their own, apparently, and she ended up trashing me, saying I was an asshole, how she liked me, etc. Joe told me privately that he knew she had a crush on me but wanted to see what I would do/enjoy the show because he thought the drama was funny. She ended up texting me again and saying how I was a jerk and basically the friendship imploded. The last thing she said was that she wasn't sorry and I said \\\"well I can be sorry for the both of us.\\\" Joe still has a crush on her and I'm sure he's still trying to date her. But, that's pretty much it for that. My girlfriend loves all the comments calling her a keeper and has found the entire situation hilarious. She really is a keeper. Thanks, everyone! \", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I [19M] just started dating a girl I really, really like a couple months ago. I was hanging out with my friend (I'll call Joe] who is also 19, and has a crush on this girl "Sarah" [18F]. Anyway, we were all hanging out and there were no more seats in the car, so I suggested she sit on Joe's lap, but she chose to sit on mine, so I put a jacket on my lap so she wasn't directly on me. I felt really uncomfortable because she's just sitting her bony ass on me and I have a girlfriend, who she knows I have.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, when we stopped to get gas I made her sit on my friend's lap instead and she started to full on cry because I didn't want her to sit on me and I had put a jacket. I felt awkward and bad for my friend who likes her and she was just crying on his lap and said I was a jerk.</p>\\n\\n<p>She ended up texting me saying we have to talk about us and I said, "what are you talking about 'us?'" and she said that I was giving her mixed signals because she thought there was something between us. I said nope, I'm like this with all my friends, and she said I thought you were like that with Joe as a joke because he's just your friend but me it's because you liked me, and that it made her confused because she knows I have a girlfriend. I said "nope, I'm like that with everyone" and told her I'm happy with my girlfriend and I don't want to date her. She called me an asshole and I haven't seen her since. Her best friend texted me and said I was being an asshole. I told my girlfriend [19F] against my friends wishes (who are also her friends, not Sarah, but Joe is) and she laughed and said that boys are so oblivious and that she could tell Sarah had a crush on me but she trusted me to make the right choices. Basically, she didn't really care, just thought Sarah was kind of crappy for trying to go after a guy with a girlfriend.</p>\\n\\n<p>So, AITA? I legit didn't really know she had a crush on me. It kind of dawned on me that night. I never pursued her. I slept over her house once because I was too drunk to drive but I slept on the floor and didn't let her near me, and I would mention my girlfriend a lot because I'm excited about dating her. Apparently she thought I liked her because she once asked me if I would join her art club and I said sure. I don't understand girls. I really don't.</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>Update: Wow, THIS BLEW UP! Sarah and Joe ended up hanging out on their own, apparently, and she ended up trashing me, saying I was an asshole, how she liked me, etc. Joe told me privately that he knew she had a crush on me but wanted to see what I would do/enjoy the show because he thought the drama was funny. She ended up texting me again and saying how I was a jerk and basically the friendship imploded. The last thing she said was that she wasn't sorry and I said "well I can be sorry for the both of us." Joe still has a crush on her and I'm sure he's still trying to date her. But, that's pretty much it for that. My girlfriend loves all the comments calling her a keeper and has found the entire situation hilarious. She really is a keeper. Thanks, everyone! </p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_i1z11d\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for pushing off a girl my lap and making her cry?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25198, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.93, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i1z11d/aita_for_pushing_off_a_girl_my_lap_and_making_her/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Obviously NTA, Being flirty with someone doesn't instantly mean you want to date them ffs.", "role": "itsjustchad", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"itsjustchad\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_chp1i\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Obviously NTA, Being flirty with someone doesn't instantly mean you want to date them ffs.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Obviously NTA, Being flirty with someone doesn't instantly mean you want to date them ffs.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596313610.0, \"created_utc\": 1596313610.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g00pmjz\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_i1z11d\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_g00pmjz\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_i1z11d\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i1z11d/aita_for_pushing_off_a_girl_my_lap_and_making_her/g00pmjz/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 133, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 133, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "It doesn\u2019t even sound like he was being flirty. Just nice.", "role": "GuntherTime", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"GuntherTime\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#8f7312\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"db40139e-f967-11e8-b7d6-0e359a529158\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Certified Proctologist [28]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_any2x\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"It doesn\\u2019t even sound like he was being flirty. Just nice.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>It doesn\\u2019t even sound like he was being flirty. Just nice.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1596317179.0, \"created_utc\": 1596317179.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"g00w4hg\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, 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\"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 194, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yeah I agree, I was just doing an, even in the extreme case thing.", "role": "itsjustchad", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"itsjustchad\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, 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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "90295dfa4b69c682", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5ad6779a09899718", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "What gets me is her weird logic. She just thought that him being nice to Joe was a joke but being nice to her was flirting. There's no logic there and she's twisting things to suit her own agenda. I'm hoping Joe realizes how immature she is and moves on.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>What gets me is her weird logic. She just thought that him being nice to Joe was a joke but being nice to her was flirting. There's no logic there and she's twisting things to suit her own agenda. I'm hoping Joe realizes how immature she is and moves on.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1596332097.0, "created_utc": 1596332097.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g01lb6e", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_i1z11d", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g01lb6e", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_g00xkf2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i1z11d/aita_for_pushing_off_a_girl_my_lap_and_making_her/g01lb6e/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 13, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 13, "user_reports": []}
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I love horror movies but when I fly I pick movies that -dont- have upsetting Gore, if someone can see my screen. If the person next to me is asleep I'll watch it. I never account for people behind me tho. . how hard do you have to try to watch TV I. The row ahead??
|
dxlxxk
|
620e0d46838b4ad4
| 1,574,012,658
| 2
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[{"content": "AITA for watching GoT on an airplane?\n\nTwo days ago, I was on a long-haul flight. I was sitting in an aisle seat. Since I haven't seen Games of Thrones yet, I was looking forward to binge watch the first season. I made myself comfortable and set up my tablet. An hour or two into watching, the woman two rows behind me tipped on my shoulder and told me that I need to turn it off immediately. A little bit confused, I asked why. She told me that her young son could see the show playing on my tablet and it's totally not suited for such young children because of the sex and violence involved in it. While I agree with that, I told her that I'm not going to turn it off. She then basically told me that I am an asshole for not considering other people around me. Is she right?\n\n\u200b\n\nEdit: I want to clarify a few things that were mentioned in the comments:\n\n\\- I was wearing headphones all the time.\n\n\\- It was a flight with Swiss from Europe to a city in the United States. The in-flight entertainment system offered various movies and tv shows that were also not suited for children. However I have to admit that probably none was as bad as GoT. However, none of these shows was censored as far as I can tell.\n\n\\- I'm not sure exactly where (aisle, middle or window) the kid was sitting since it was behind me and I think they switched seats frequently.", "role": "SCM2323", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"SCM2323\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_1r4b2pdq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1573993450.0, \"created_utc\": 1573993450.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1574029914.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"dxlxxk\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_dxlxxk\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4573, \"num_crossposts\": 5, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dxlxxk/aita_for_watching_got_on_an_airplane/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 27209, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"Two days ago, I was on a long-haul flight. I was sitting in an aisle seat. Since I haven't seen Games of Thrones yet, I was looking forward to binge watch the first season. I made myself comfortable and set up my tablet. An hour or two into watching, the woman two rows behind me tipped on my shoulder and told me that I need to turn it off immediately. A little bit confused, I asked why. She told me that her young son could see the show playing on my tablet and it's totally not suited for such young children because of the sex and violence involved in it. While I agree with that, I told her that I'm not going to turn it off. She then basically told me that I am an asshole for not considering other people around me. Is she right?\\n\\n​\\n\\nEdit: I want to clarify a few things that were mentioned in the comments:\\n\\n\\\\- I was wearing headphones all the time.\\n\\n\\\\- It was a flight with Swiss from Europe to a city in the United States. The in-flight entertainment system offered various movies and tv shows that were also not suited for children. However I have to admit that probably none was as bad as GoT. However, none of these shows was censored as far as I can tell.\\n\\n\\\\- I'm not sure exactly where (aisle, middle or window) the kid was sitting since it was behind me and I think they switched seats frequently.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Two days ago, I was on a long-haul flight. I was sitting in an aisle seat. Since I haven't seen Games of Thrones yet, I was looking forward to binge watch the first season. I made myself comfortable and set up my tablet. An hour or two into watching, the woman two rows behind me tipped on my shoulder and told me that I need to turn it off immediately. A little bit confused, I asked why. She told me that her young son could see the show playing on my tablet and it's totally not suited for such young children because of the sex and violence involved in it. While I agree with that, I told her that I'm not going to turn it off. She then basically told me that I am an asshole for not considering other people around me. Is she right?</p>\\n\\n<p>​</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: I want to clarify a few things that were mentioned in the comments:</p>\\n\\n<p>- I was wearing headphones all the time.</p>\\n\\n<p>- It was a flight with Swiss from Europe to a city in the United States. The in-flight entertainment system offered various movies and tv shows that were also not suited for children. However I have to admit that probably none was as bad as GoT. However, none of these shows was censored as far as I can tell.</p>\\n\\n<p>- I'm not sure exactly where (aisle, middle or window) the kid was sitting since it was behind me and I think they switched seats frequently.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_dxlxxk\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for watching GoT on an airplane?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 27209, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.86, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dxlxxk/aita_for_watching_got_on_an_airplane/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "ESH - don\u2019t watch something with graphic sex scenes in public. When did that stop being common sense?\n\nBut also, if you are asking someone to stop doing something you don\u2019t like, even if it should be common knowledge not to do it, ask politely. No one wants to do what a rude person asks them to do, even if they realize they were wrong. \n\nAlso, if you insist on watching game of thrones on a plane at least put a sweatshirt in the cracks between the seats and angle the screen so that no one else has to watch it. \n\nFinally, for those telling the mom to tell the kid to just not look - what the hell? Have you ever interacted with a kid? Tell a kid not to do something and they are going to find a way to do it. \n\nFor the record I watch and love game of thrones. And I can totally relate to wanting to binge it on a plane. In my opinion that is just very inappropriate.", "role": "AdmiralAckbar2", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"AdmiralAckbar2\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4bg2bwz3\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"ESH - don\\u2019t watch something with graphic sex scenes in public. When did that stop being common sense?\\n\\nBut also, if you are asking someone to stop doing something you don\\u2019t like, even if it should be common knowledge not to do it, ask politely. No one wants to do what a rude person asks them to do, even if they realize they were wrong. \\n\\nAlso, if you insist on watching game of thrones on a plane at least put a sweatshirt in the cracks between the seats and angle the screen so that no one else has to watch it. \\n\\nFinally, for those telling the mom to tell the kid to just not look - what the hell? Have you ever interacted with a kid? Tell a kid not to do something and they are going to find a way to do it. \\n\\nFor the record I watch and love game of thrones. And I can totally relate to wanting to binge it on a plane. In my opinion that is just very inappropriate.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>ESH - don\\u2019t watch something with graphic sex scenes in public. When did that stop being common sense?</p>\\n\\n<p>But also, if you are asking someone to stop doing something you don\\u2019t like, even if it should be common knowledge not to do it, ask politely. No one wants to do what a rude person asks them to do, even if they realize they were wrong. </p>\\n\\n<p>Also, if you insist on watching game of thrones on a plane at least put a sweatshirt in the cracks between the seats and angle the screen so that no one else has to watch it. </p>\\n\\n<p>Finally, for those telling the mom to tell the kid to just not look - what the hell? Have you ever interacted with a kid? Tell a kid not to do something and they are going to find a way to do it. </p>\\n\\n<p>For the record I watch and love game of thrones. And I can totally relate to wanting to binge it on a plane. In my opinion that is just very inappropriate.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1574004237.0, \"created_utc\": 1574004237.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"f7tgt3l\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_dxlxxk\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_f7tgt3l\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_dxlxxk\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dxlxxk/aita_for_watching_got_on_an_airplane/f7tgt3l/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 20861, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 20861, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "620e0d46838b4ad4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "c974570255f4b2b3", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "I love horror movies but when I fly I pick movies that -dont- have upsetting Gore, if someone can see my screen. If the person next to me is asleep I'll watch it. I never account for people behind me tho. . how hard do you have to try to watch TV I. The row ahead??", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>I love horror movies but when I fly I pick movies that -dont- have upsetting Gore, if someone can see my screen. If the person next to me is asleep I'll watch it. I never account for people behind me tho. . how hard do you have to try to watch TV I. The row ahead??</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1574012658.0, "created_utc": 1574012658.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "f7u8vcz", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_dxlxxk", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_f7u8vcz", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_f7tgt3l", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dxlxxk/aita_for_watching_got_on_an_airplane/f7u8vcz/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
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NTA. They shouldn't have asked. The fact that they realized after the fact that you hadn't told them the truth should have given them a chance to realize that they were TA for asking.
You don't owe anyone answers about your medical history. If these people are treating you poorly, it might be worth documenting with your HR department because they're bullying you for having a disability.
That said, in the future, you might want to go with, "I don't like to talk about it," and a quick change of subject.
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cw9hdj
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09504cf4ef2f08ea
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|
[{"content": "Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?\n\nI have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.\n\nI'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).\n\nAnyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.\n\nWithin about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books. \n\nAnyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an asshole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the asshole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.\n\nUpdate: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your morbid curiosity. A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!), don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.", "role": "throwawaycwdrama", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwawaycwdrama\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4gogxie1\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1566935140.0, \"created_utc\": 1566935140.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1566999390.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"cw9hdj\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"cbfad5da-d244-11e8-b3e1-0ef444e90e60\", \"link_flair_text\": \"No A-holes here\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3267, \"num_crossposts\": 4, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24022, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.\\n\\nI'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).\\n\\nAnyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.\\n\\nWithin about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books. \\n\\nAnyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an asshole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the asshole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.\\n\\nUpdate: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your morbid curiosity. A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!), don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.</p>\\n\\n<p>I'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.</p>\\n\\n<p>Within about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books. </p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an asshole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the asshole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.</p>\\n\\n<p>Update: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your morbid curiosity. A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!), don't ask people about something that could be traumatic, especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_cw9hdj\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24022, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.91, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "09504cf4ef2f08ea", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#8f7312", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "db40139e-f967-11e8-b7d6-0e359a529158", "author_flair_text": "Certified Proctologist [21]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "036f02538b1cc757", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. They shouldn't have asked. The fact that they realized after the fact that you hadn't told them the truth should have given them a chance to realize that they were TA for asking.\n\nYou don't owe anyone answers about your medical history. If these people are treating you poorly, it might be worth documenting with your HR department because they're bullying you for having a disability.\n\nThat said, in the future, you might want to go with, \"I don't like to talk about it,\" and a quick change of subject.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. They shouldn't have asked. The fact that they realized after the fact that you hadn't told them the truth should have given them a chance to realize that they were TA for asking.</p>\n\n<p>You don't owe anyone answers about your medical history. If these people are treating you poorly, it might be worth documenting with your HR department because they're bullying you for having a disability.</p>\n\n<p>That said, in the future, you might want to go with, "I don't like to talk about it," and a quick change of subject.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1566941982.0, "created_utc": 1566941982.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ey9f8tw", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_cw9hdj", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ey9f8tw", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_cw9hdj", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cw9hdj/aita_for_giving_all_of_my_coworkers_a_different/ey9f8tw/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 23, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 23, "user_reports": []}
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More like malicious compliance.
|
d1wohr
|
db05fcf2ee653e9c
| 1,568,094,350
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "Late 30s to early 40s (stated 'approaching my 40s real quick' in July 2020)", "gender": "Female (references 'My family is filled with women and I'm the one breaking the cycle')", "location": "Lives in a 3rd world country (explicitly stated 'I live in a 3rd world country')", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Raised Catholic ('A very catholic thing'), has anxiety issues ('with my anxiety levels I'd be having panic attacks left and right'), has been to places that 'opened my eyes' through education"}, "interests": ["Interpersonal relationship dynamics and power imbalances, particularly in romantic relationships", "Harassment and inappropriate behavior toward women in various contexts", "Mental health impacts of trauma, specifically anxiety and PTSD from wrongful imprisonment or abuse", "Parental boundaries and toxic family dynamics, especially controlling parents", "Breaking generational cycles of abuse and passive acceptance of mistreatment", "Women's autonomy and resistance to patriarchal control ('nobody gets to decide what you wear anywhere, period')", "Privacy violations and boundary-crossing behavior in families", "Standing up to authority figures and refusing to accept unjust treatment", "Recognition of controlling behavior patterns in relationships as red flags", "Social conditioning that teaches women to prioritize others' comfort over their own safety", "The normalization of predatory behavior and harassment toward young women"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal autonomy and bodily autonomy ('nobody gets to decide what you wear anywhere, period. Fuck that controlling shit')", "Empathy for trauma survivors and recognition of lasting psychological damage ('54 days in a jail and all the shitshow that ensued when he got out would leave anyone scarred for life')", "Opposition to controlling behavior in relationships, viewing it as abuse that should not be tolerated", "Importance of setting and maintaining boundaries, even when it goes against family or cultural expectations", "Breaking cycles of abuse and refusing to perpetuate harmful patterns ('My family is filled with women and I'm the one breaking the cycle')", "Recognition that privacy violations are serious offenses ('To me what this kid did was akin to revenge porn')", "Belief that women should not be socialized to accept harassment or mistreatment passively", "Support for going no contact with toxic family members when necessary ('if I was her, I'd go no contact')", "Condemnation of parents who are 'abusive, toxic and shitty parents who had no right to do what they did'", "Aspiration to live without concern for others' judgment ('I wanna be like you, approaching my 40s real quick and I want no fucks to give')", "Recognition that 'looking and admiring beauty' differs from 'ogling and perving' which is disrespectful"], "communication": ["Direct and passionate writing style with frequent use of strong language for emphasis", "Uses italics for emphasis on key points (*Not cool*, *Not cool*)", "Employs conversational, informal tone with phrases like 'Dude,' 'ugh,' and 'wtf'", "Shares personal experiences to validate others and provide context ('My family is filled with women')", "Makes cultural and conceptual analogies to clarify points ('akin to revenge porn')", "Uses Reddit-specific terminology and references ('malicious compliance,' 'NTA')", "Writes responses ranging from brief validating statements to longer reflective paragraphs", "Frequently validates the original poster's feelings before adding perspective", "Employs emphatic punctuation and capitalization for emotional impact", "Balances empathy with directness when calling out problematic behavior", "Uses second-person address when giving advice or making points ('you need to back off')"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-50 words, with range from 10 words to 85+ words", "Frequently uses strong language including 'fuck,' 'shit,' and euphemistic replacements like 'cluck'", "Common phrases include 'NTA,' references to control/controlling, 'breaking the cycle,' and boundary-related terms", "Often begins responses with agreement or validation before elaborating", "Uses first-person perspective when sharing personal experiences and second-person when advising", "Employs rhetorical questions to emphasize points", "Sentence structure varies from short emphatic statements to longer complex sentences with multiple clauses", "Frequently references mental health concepts (anxiety, trauma, panic attacks)"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for telling my parents I won't drive my brother to school unless he is more hygienic because his smell literally makes me sick?\n\nI'm a high school senior and my brother is a high school freshman. I have a car that I bought with money I'd saved from work, and I pay my own gas. However my parents pay my car insurance, so they said that driving is a privilege for me, not a right.\n\nThey said I need to drive my brother to school even though there's a bus. And the problem is that I get motion sick easily; even when I'm driving. Too much driving makes me vomit, and bad smells when I'm in a car make me feel ill too.\n\nI'm not exaggerating, I've always been like this. As a kid, my family couldn't go on vacation without me puking at least once. I always make sure I know where my barf bag is on a plane. I always used to take motion sickness pills, but I'm not allowed when I'm driving because they make you tired.\n\nAnyway, I can handle the drive to school on my own fine, but when my brother is with me I literally feel so sick because of his BO. Even with the windows on my side open\n\nMy friend told me I should make a checklist of what my brother needs to do before getting in my car in the morning: have a shower with shampoo and soap, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, wear clean clothes including underwear and socks, remember to use shoe antifungal spray. \n\nRight now, he doesn't do that, he likes to sleep in to the last minute, skip showers most days, pick clothes up off the floor to wear, skip brushing his teeth, etc.\n\nSo I did that and told my mom and dad that I couldn't do it anymore unless my brother had done the hygiene list in the morning. Either they could check or I would. And they blew up at me saying that I was being nasty and humiliating, that if I wouldn't drive my brother I couldn't drive. And I said fine; I'll go back to riding my bicycle to school or getting a ride from my friend.\n\nAnd that caused a big fight, because I guess they were not expecting me to call their bluff and give up driving.\n\nAITA for what I did?", "role": "poiuytrueeq", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"poiuytrueeq\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4jz309zp\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1568061377.0, \"created_utc\": 1568061377.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1568061639.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"d1wohr\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_d1wohr\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 2114, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d1wohr/aita_for_telling_my_parents_i_wont_drive_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 29100, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I'm a high school senior and my brother is a high school freshman. I have a car that I bought with money I'd saved from work, and I pay my own gas. However my parents pay my car insurance, so they said that driving is a privilege for me, not a right.\\n\\nThey said I need to drive my brother to school even though there's a bus. And the problem is that I get motion sick easily; even when I'm driving. Too much driving makes me vomit, and bad smells when I'm in a car make me feel ill too.\\n\\nI'm not exaggerating, I've always been like this. As a kid, my family couldn't go on vacation without me puking at least once. I always make sure I know where my barf bag is on a plane. I always used to take motion sickness pills, but I'm not allowed when I'm driving because they make you tired.\\n\\nAnyway, I can handle the drive to school on my own fine, but when my brother is with me I literally feel so sick because of his BO. Even with the windows on my side open\\n\\nMy friend told me I should make a checklist of what my brother needs to do before getting in my car in the morning: have a shower with shampoo and soap, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, wear clean clothes including underwear and socks, remember to use shoe antifungal spray. \\n\\nRight now, he doesn't do that, he likes to sleep in to the last minute, skip showers most days, pick clothes up off the floor to wear, skip brushing his teeth, etc.\\n\\nSo I did that and told my mom and dad that I couldn't do it anymore unless my brother had done the hygiene list in the morning. Either they could check or I would. And they blew up at me saying that I was being nasty and humiliating, that if I wouldn't drive my brother I couldn't drive. And I said fine; I'll go back to riding my bicycle to school or getting a ride from my friend.\\n\\nAnd that caused a big fight, because I guess they were not expecting me to call their bluff and give up driving.\\n\\nAITA for what I did?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I'm a high school senior and my brother is a high school freshman. I have a car that I bought with money I'd saved from work, and I pay my own gas. However my parents pay my car insurance, so they said that driving is a privilege for me, not a right.</p>\\n\\n<p>They said I need to drive my brother to school even though there's a bus. And the problem is that I get motion sick easily; even when I'm driving. Too much driving makes me vomit, and bad smells when I'm in a car make me feel ill too.</p>\\n\\n<p>I'm not exaggerating, I've always been like this. As a kid, my family couldn't go on vacation without me puking at least once. I always make sure I know where my barf bag is on a plane. I always used to take motion sickness pills, but I'm not allowed when I'm driving because they make you tired.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, I can handle the drive to school on my own fine, but when my brother is with me I literally feel so sick because of his BO. Even with the windows on my side open</p>\\n\\n<p>My friend told me I should make a checklist of what my brother needs to do before getting in my car in the morning: have a shower with shampoo and soap, brush his teeth, put on deodorant, wear clean clothes including underwear and socks, remember to use shoe antifungal spray. </p>\\n\\n<p>Right now, he doesn't do that, he likes to sleep in to the last minute, skip showers most days, pick clothes up off the floor to wear, skip brushing his teeth, etc.</p>\\n\\n<p>So I did that and told my mom and dad that I couldn't do it anymore unless my brother had done the hygiene list in the morning. Either they could check or I would. And they blew up at me saying that I was being nasty and humiliating, that if I wouldn't drive my brother I couldn't drive. And I said fine; I'll go back to riding my bicycle to school or getting a ride from my friend.</p>\\n\\n<p>And that caused a big fight, because I guess they were not expecting me to call their bluff and give up driving.</p>\\n\\n<p>AITA for what I did?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_d1wohr\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling my parents I won't drive my brother to school unless he is more hygienic because his smell literally makes me sick?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 29100, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.94, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d1wohr/aita_for_telling_my_parents_i_wont_drive_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. But maybe you could barf on him a couple times and see if that gets him to take the bus/take a shower.", "role": "Scottiegirl4", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Scottiegirl4\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [4]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_40qn96kz\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. But maybe you could barf on him a couple times and see if that gets him to take the bus/take a shower.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. But maybe you could barf on him a couple times and see if that gets him to take the bus/take a shower.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1568063189.0, \"created_utc\": 1568063189.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"ezqru1c\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, 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\"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1571, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Some petty revenge I see", "role": "aaroncatguy37", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"aaroncatguy37\", \"author_cakeday\": null, 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\"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_ezqru1c\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d1wohr/aita_for_telling_my_parents_i_wont_drive_my/ezrhh0s/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 375, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 375, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "db05fcf2ee653e9c", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "728778e0204f989d", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "More like malicious compliance.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>More like malicious compliance.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1568094350.0, "created_utc": 1568094350.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ezsjst2", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d1wohr", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ezsjst2", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ezrhh0s", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d1wohr/aita_for_telling_my_parents_i_wont_drive_my/ezsjst2/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "c16657b82b3089a1", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "96df56f822587a73", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "More like both", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>More like both</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1568121344.0, "created_utc": 1568121344.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "ezt4vk6", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_d1wohr", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_ezt4vk6", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_ezsjst2", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d1wohr/aita_for_telling_my_parents_i_wont_drive_my/ezt4vk6/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 4, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 4, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 145, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 145, "user_reports": []}
|
So sorry about this. It sounds to me like he could not cope with the responsibility for being a father or husband and was looking for a legitimate reason to leave where he could be the good guy as the wronged party. You deserve better.
|
j9ueq4
|
440e4267cea73680
| 1,602,534,827
| 1
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and boundary-setting, as shown by engagement with posts about parents exploiting children financially", "Legal rights and intellectual property, demonstrated by comment 'The wife has an IP claim against the daughter as the creator'", "Custody battles and parental rights, evidenced by detailed engagement with posts about fathers seeking custody", "Financial exploitation within families, particularly responding to stories about relatives demanding money or credit cards", "Relationship betrayals and infidelity, shown by responses to posts about partners who cheat or lie", "Property rights and personal autonomy, as seen in support for the user who built a fence around their property", "Manipulation tactics and emotional abuse within families, frequently calling out manipulative behavior", "Child welfare and parenting issues, particularly responding to posts about children being mistreated or used as pawns", "Identity theft and financial fraud, engaging with the post about parents stealing their child's identity", "Mental health and depression, showing understanding in response to the post about a girlfriend's depression", "Professional legal ethics, discussing why 'lawyers are restricted from giving legal advice' in online forums"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal accountability and consequences, stating 'They took advantage and now they lose'", "Opposition to family exploitation, declaring 'It's ugly when family take advantage of family'", "Support for self-protection and boundary-setting, advising 'watch out for retribution' and supporting those who refuse manipulation", "Belief that trust once broken is difficult to restore, as shown in response 'I never thought that I would judge NTA to a family member refusing to babysit in an emergency but here we are'", "Skepticism toward those who play victim after wrongdoing, noting 'Of course they will play the victim. Not your problem'", "Value of financial independence and self-sufficiency, supporting the woman who refused to sell her property", "Belief in protecting children from toxic family members, stating 'This is not your fault' to the father whose ex manipulated situations", "Support for people leaving relationships where they're manipulated, encouraging 'You deserve better'", "Recognition that some relationships cannot be salvaged, suggesting the husband 'was looking for a legitimate reason to leave'", "Belief in appropriate consequences matching the offense, supporting parents who refuse to enable adult children's poor choices", "Value of evidence and documentation in disputes, noting the importance of having 'extensive documentation of all of this'"], "communication": ["Uses very brief, direct statements like 'NTA \ud83d\udcaf' and 'Congratulations and good luck!'", "Frequently opens with 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) verdict before providing reasoning", "Employs sarcastic humor, as in 'Stay tuned for my rise in power and world domination'", "Writes in conversational, supportive tone with phrases like 'So sorry about this' and 'I love this story'", "Uses direct address to engage readers, such as 'Go and hug your father for protecting you'", "Provides practical advice alongside moral judgments, like suggesting '$1 a year' lease arrangement for neighbors", "Varies response length dramatically from single sentences to multi-paragraph responses", "References specific details from original posts to support arguments", "Uses emphatic language like 'Absolutely that is your money' and 'What a great boyfriend!'", "Employs rhetorical questions to make points, asking 'who cares what him and his family are saying?'", "Makes predictions about future behavior, warning 'there will be something else in the future, stay away'"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 35-40 words, with significant variation", "Minimum response length: 3 words ('NTA \ud83d\udcaf')", "Maximum response length: approximately 150 words (in the legal advice forum discussion)", "Most frequent phrases include 'NTA', 'stay away', 'you deserve better', 'not your problem'", "Consistently uses short, declarative sentences with clear subject-verb-object structure", "Frequently begins responses with verdict or judgment before elaborating", "Uses direct quotes from original posts to reference specific situations", "Employs both single-sentence responses and multi-paragraph explanations depending on complexity"]}
|
[{"content": "UPDATE: AITA for not agreeing to a paternity test unless my husband goes to therapy?\n\nThis is an update to my other [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ixsv9j/aita_for_not_agreeing_to_a_paternity_test_unless/).\n\nThanks to everyone who commented on my original post. Unfortunately, this is not a great update. If you don\u2019t want to read it all, the bottom line is we\u2019re heading toward divorce.\n\nI took some of the commenters\u2019 advice to go to couples therapy, which we did that same week as my first post. I had to push him a bit to get him to agree to the therapy but I told him it was either this or I would never give in to the test.\n\nThe first zoom session was a little awkward since neither of us had ever done therapy before. After listening to both of us, she basically said that she thought we should do the test to see if that eases his anxiety, and that if it doesn\u2019t (which, at the time. was my concern) that we could go from there. So my husband was thrilled and I agreed but I wanted to be on Zoom with the therapist when we received the results so we could talk it out with her there, which he was fine with.\n\nSo we do the test and we did our Zoom session when our results were in. And surprise, surprise, the paternity test says he\u2019s 99% likely to be the father.\n\nHe didn\u2019t appear relieved or happy or anything of what I expected. Maybe this was unfair but I did expect him to cry and maybe apologize to me for his lack of trust. This wasn't just my imagination though because when the therapist asked him in our first session how he would feel if the test came back saying he was the father, he said he would feel relieved. But he was angry. He kept saying that it was over and that he didn\u2019t want to talk about it. He kept repeating \u201cits done\u201d over and over when the therapist would try to ask a question about how he was feeling and he was obviously not listening when I tried to talk about my feelings. And when I told him I wanted to talk about it, he yelled at me (which he NEVER does) \u201cWhat else is there to fucking talk about?\u201d I was mortified that he was talking to me this way in front of a therapist and she said we should schedule a new session once he \u201chad time to process.\u201d\n\nAfter the session, he wouldn\u2019t look at me or speak to me. That he was so upset that he WAS our wonderful son\u2019s father made me absolutely lose my mind. We screamed at each other and it ended with me saying that I can\u2019t do this anymore. He\u2019s at his brother\u2019s apartment now (finally away from our son, which is obviously what he wanted all along) and my mom is now staying at my place go help me out around the house. I texted him this weekend asking if he wanted to do another therapy session and he asked if I really thought that would help and I had to admit that I didn\u2019t.\n\nThe speed at which this whole thing happened (just a month ago, I would have said we have a happy marriage!) is still completely shocking to me. But I don\u2019t see us recovering from this. This felt cathartic to type out though so thanks I guess.", "role": "hesthefather", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"hesthefather\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_86y7swa7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1602521030.0, \"created_utc\": 1602521030.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"j9ueq4\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd635\", \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"ca4006b8-f14a-11e9-9b18-0e179a5854dc\", \"link_flair_text\": \"UPDATE\", \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_j9ueq4\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1566, \"num_crossposts\": 1, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j9ueq4/update_aita_for_not_agreeing_to_a_paternity_test/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 23469, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"This is an update to my other [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ixsv9j/aita_for_not_agreeing_to_a_paternity_test_unless/).\\n\\nThanks to everyone who commented on my original post. Unfortunately, this is not a great update. If you don\\u2019t want to read it all, the bottom line is we\\u2019re heading toward divorce.\\n\\nI took some of the commenters\\u2019 advice to go to couples therapy, which we did that same week as my first post. I had to push him a bit to get him to agree to the therapy but I told him it was either this or I would never give in to the test.\\n\\nThe first zoom session was a little awkward since neither of us had ever done therapy before. After listening to both of us, she basically said that she thought we should do the test to see if that eases his anxiety, and that if it doesn\\u2019t (which, at the time. was my concern) that we could go from there. So my husband was thrilled and I agreed but I wanted to be on Zoom with the therapist when we received the results so we could talk it out with her there, which he was fine with.\\n\\nSo we do the test and we did our Zoom session when our results were in. And surprise, surprise, the paternity test says he\\u2019s 99% likely to be the father.\\n\\nHe didn\\u2019t appear relieved or happy or anything of what I expected. Maybe this was unfair but I did expect him to cry and maybe apologize to me for his lack of trust. This wasn't just my imagination though because when the therapist asked him in our first session how he would feel if the test came back saying he was the father, he said he would feel relieved. But he was angry. He kept saying that it was over and that he didn\\u2019t want to talk about it. He kept repeating \\u201cits done\\u201d over and over when the therapist would try to ask a question about how he was feeling and he was obviously not listening when I tried to talk about my feelings. And when I told him I wanted to talk about it, he yelled at me (which he NEVER does) \\u201cWhat else is there to fucking talk about?\\u201d I was mortified that he was talking to me this way in front of a therapist and she said we should schedule a new session once he \\u201chad time to process.\\u201d\\n\\nAfter the session, he wouldn\\u2019t look at me or speak to me. That he was so upset that he WAS our wonderful son\\u2019s father made me absolutely lose my mind. We screamed at each other and it ended with me saying that I can\\u2019t do this anymore. He\\u2019s at his brother\\u2019s apartment now (finally away from our son, which is obviously what he wanted all along) and my mom is now staying at my place go help me out around the house. I texted him this weekend asking if he wanted to do another therapy session and he asked if I really thought that would help and I had to admit that I didn\\u2019t.\\n\\nThe speed at which this whole thing happened (just a month ago, I would have said we have a happy marriage!) is still completely shocking to me. But I don\\u2019t see us recovering from this. This felt cathartic to type out though so thanks I guess.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>This is an update to my other <a href=\\\"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ixsv9j/aita_for_not_agreeing_to_a_paternity_test_unless/\\\">post</a>.</p>\\n\\n<p>Thanks to everyone who commented on my original post. Unfortunately, this is not a great update. If you don\\u2019t want to read it all, the bottom line is we\\u2019re heading toward divorce.</p>\\n\\n<p>I took some of the commenters\\u2019 advice to go to couples therapy, which we did that same week as my first post. I had to push him a bit to get him to agree to the therapy but I told him it was either this or I would never give in to the test.</p>\\n\\n<p>The first zoom session was a little awkward since neither of us had ever done therapy before. After listening to both of us, she basically said that she thought we should do the test to see if that eases his anxiety, and that if it doesn\\u2019t (which, at the time. was my concern) that we could go from there. So my husband was thrilled and I agreed but I wanted to be on Zoom with the therapist when we received the results so we could talk it out with her there, which he was fine with.</p>\\n\\n<p>So we do the test and we did our Zoom session when our results were in. And surprise, surprise, the paternity test says he\\u2019s 99% likely to be the father.</p>\\n\\n<p>He didn\\u2019t appear relieved or happy or anything of what I expected. Maybe this was unfair but I did expect him to cry and maybe apologize to me for his lack of trust. This wasn't just my imagination though because when the therapist asked him in our first session how he would feel if the test came back saying he was the father, he said he would feel relieved. But he was angry. He kept saying that it was over and that he didn\\u2019t want to talk about it. He kept repeating \\u201cits done\\u201d over and over when the therapist would try to ask a question about how he was feeling and he was obviously not listening when I tried to talk about my feelings. And when I told him I wanted to talk about it, he yelled at me (which he NEVER does) \\u201cWhat else is there to fucking talk about?\\u201d I was mortified that he was talking to me this way in front of a therapist and she said we should schedule a new session once he \\u201chad time to process.\\u201d</p>\\n\\n<p>After the session, he wouldn\\u2019t look at me or speak to me. That he was so upset that he WAS our wonderful son\\u2019s father made me absolutely lose my mind. We screamed at each other and it ended with me saying that I can\\u2019t do this anymore. He\\u2019s at his brother\\u2019s apartment now (finally away from our son, which is obviously what he wanted all along) and my mom is now staying at my place go help me out around the house. I texted him this weekend asking if he wanted to do another therapy session and he asked if I really thought that would help and I had to admit that I didn\\u2019t.</p>\\n\\n<p>The speed at which this whole thing happened (just a month ago, I would have said we have a happy marriage!) is still completely shocking to me. But I don\\u2019t see us recovering from this. This felt cathartic to type out though so thanks I guess.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_j9ueq4\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"UPDATE: AITA for not agreeing to a paternity test unless my husband goes to therapy?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 23469, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.98, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j9ueq4/update_aita_for_not_agreeing_to_a_paternity_test/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "440e4267cea73680", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#735a17", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Aficionado [14]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "24dee1e62c032a14", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "So sorry about this. It sounds to me like he could not cope with the responsibility for being a father or husband and was looking for a legitimate reason to leave where he could be the good guy as the wronged party. You deserve better.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>So sorry about this. It sounds to me like he could not cope with the responsibility for being a father or husband and was looking for a legitimate reason to leave where he could be the good guy as the wronged party. You deserve better.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1602534827.0, "created_utc": 1602534827.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "g8mk37r", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_j9ueq4", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_g8mk37r", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_j9ueq4", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j9ueq4/update_aita_for_not_agreeing_to_a_paternity_test/g8mk37r/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 3, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 3, "user_reports": []}
|
Shame-by-proxy or [Vicarious Embarrassment](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicarious_embarrassment) are also words for that. I have that particular quirk. This post has been killing me. Normally it just means I can't watch most sit-coms.
|
jx90uv
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bc621832dcfed683
| 1,605,824,440
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Relationship dynamics and marriage issues, as evidenced by engagement with posts about divorce ('I left my husband'), proposals, and marital conflicts", "Family conflicts and parent-child relationships, particularly responding to posts about adoption, parental abuse, and family boundaries", "Workplace harassment and professional boundaries, shown by detailed response to teacher showing porn ('That's not okay for him to have done. Its inappropriate and insulting')", "Medical and health issues, engaging with posts about cancer treatment ('Best of luck on your treatment'), disabilities, and mental health", "Abuse and trauma situations, particularly emotional and psychological abuse in family and romantic relationships", "Personal autonomy and boundary-setting, consistently supporting people who establish boundaries against controlling behavior", "Positive resolution updates, frequently commenting on update posts with congratulations and well-wishes", "Vicarious embarrassment and social psychology, explicitly discussing 'Shame-by-proxy' and providing Wikipedia links to explain concepts", "Child welfare and protection, responding strongly to posts involving children in difficult situations", "LGBTQ+ relationships and acceptance, engaging supportively with posts about same-sex marriage", "Legal and custody matters, particularly in divorce and child custody situations"], "values": ["Strong belief in protecting victims and holding perpetrators accountable ('Don't feel bad. HE did this, not you. This is NOT on you. YOU are the victim here')", "Emphasis on personal autonomy over others' comfort ('Support means sacrifice and that means swallowing ones own feeling and fear sometimes')", "Validation of victims' feelings and experiences, consistently affirming that people's emotional responses to abuse are justified", "Belief that inappropriate behavior should have consequences ('You are saving someone else from his creepy behavior. Its the right thing to do')", "Strong stance against child abuse and neglect, expressing outrage at parents who mistreat children ('Holy shitballs... Just unforgivable')", "Support for people leaving toxic relationships, celebrating when people escape abusive situations", "Belief in appropriate professional boundaries, condemning workplace sexual harassment", "Empathy for people in difficult medical situations, offering compassionate support for cancer patients and people with disabilities", "Value of family support systems, appreciating when family members protect vulnerable individuals", "Belief that success is 'the best revenge' against abusers, encouraging victims to thrive after leaving toxic situations", "Support for LGBTQ+ relationships and acceptance, celebrating positive family reactions to same-sex marriages"], "communication": ["Uses AITA judgment abbreviations consistently (NTA, YTA) to clearly state positions", "Employs emphatic repetition for emphasis ('NTA NTA NTA - Good gravy')", "Frequently offers well-wishes and congratulations ('Best of luck', 'Congrats, OP!', 'I wish you and your family a safe and happy life!')", "Uses strong emotional language and exclamations ('Holy shitballs', 'Good gravy')", "Balances concise responses (3-5 words) with longer, more detailed explanations depending on the situation", "Shares knowledge and educational content, such as linking to Wikipedia for 'Vicarious Embarrassment' and explaining psychological concepts", "Expresses personal emotional reactions ('This post has been killing me', 'I really feel for OP')", "Uses metaphors and analogies to clarify points ('This is no different than reporting a drunk driver')", "Employs capitalization for emphasis ('NOTHING is going to change', 'YOU are the victim here')", "Provides 'soft' judgments when appropriate ('Soft YTA - I'm not denying your pain')", "Writes with informal, conversational tone while maintaining clarity and directness"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 30-40 words, with significant variation from 3 words ('Awesome! Congrats, OP!') to 100+ words", "Minimum response length: 3 words ('Good for you OP!')", "Maximum response length: approximately 120 words (in the teacher porn video response)", "Most frequent phrases include 'NTA', 'I'm so sorry', 'Best of luck', 'Congrats', 'OP', and variations of well-wishes", "Heavy use of exclamation points for emotional emphasis and support", "Frequent use of em-dashes and parenthetical statements to add context or clarification", "Sentence structure varies from simple single-clause sentences to complex multi-clause constructions", "Consistent use of first-person perspective when sharing personal reactions ('I really feel for OP', 'I wish peace and happiness for you')", "Regular use of quoted text from original posts to reference specific problematic behavior"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for leaving my husband in the grocery store because he started acting like a toddler?\n\nWe all go through phases and pick up annoying habits, and sometimes we just need our loved ones to gently tell us if we've picked up a particularly egregious habit.\n\nSometime in the last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he talks like a baby. At first it was funny, but passed into embarrassing, cringeworthy behavior quickly.\n\nExamples: doggo, pupper, woofer/subwoofer, pibble, hooty-boy, peepo, birb, meowmeow, sammy, sammiches, sammywhammy, chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddleresque \"lisp\" to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemisms for genitalia or sex.\n\nI cannot emphasize this enough: it is not endearing or sexy to have my husband talk about my \"boobies\" and his \"weiner\" and \"weenie\" and \"wee wee\", \"hoohas\" and \"bajingos\" (Nostalgia for Scrubs be damned). We have not had sex for six months because he cannot stop talking about my \"boobies\" and it makes me sick.\n\nJust before the pandemic hit, we were out at a restaurant with some friends, he actually ordered a \"chicky sammy\" like, said that exact phrase. Chicky. Sammy. Look, it's totally fine that he ordered the chicken sandwich. That's not the issue. Our friends noticed the baby talk, because he insisted on continuing the \"joke\" and even started talking with this god awful toddler... lilt? Accent?\n\nAfter that, I just couldn't stomach the idea of going out with him to adult places. I'd go out to the brewery with friends, but god forbid he join me and say \"Me wanty 'nother beer!\" or something.\n\nI don't know where it came from. I don't know why he's doing this. I finally hit my limit when we were grocery shopping and everything seemed normal and fine until he gasped like a kid, ran to the ice cream section and jumped up and down yelling \"ICE CWEAM ICE CWEAM! I WANT CHOCWIT!\"\n\nI was *MORTIFIED*. People were staring at him and me. He kept going and kept saying \"CAN WE GET POPSICOOOS?\" and I just said \"Either talk to me like an adult or I'm leaving.\"\n\nHe started saying OOOOOO YOU MUST BE FUN AT PARTIES and LIGHTEN UP, WILL YOU? And shit like that. I just said fuck it, and left the store, leaving him to walk home (like a mile, it was fine) because I couldn't even look at him.\n\nSince then, things have been very tense, and he keeps telling me that he wants an apology for embarrassing him by leaving him in the store. I told him that people don't get to demand apologies, if someone wants to apologize, it's up to them, and I am absolutely not going to apologize for saving myself the embarrassment of a 35 year old man with a mortgage and retirement account asking for \"CHOCWIT ICE CWEAM.\"\n\nHe got his fucking Mom involved, no joke. She keeps telling me it's just a phase and that he's probably bored and I should be happy this is his midlife crisis, rather than him fucking 19 year olds at the local bar.\n\nI'm going crazy. AITA? Do I really just need to let my husband continuously embarrass me like this?\n\n**Edit:** Sorry, there was only so much space. I *have* talked to him. Multiple times. Especially about the sexual comments. I've made it extremely, abundantly clear that him using terms like \"boobies\" and \"wee wee\" are absolutely *repulsive* to me, among other things he says.\n\n**INFO:** Does he have a job? Yes, and he acts completely normal as far as I know. He worked from home for a while during lockdown, and I never heard him talk like this to anyone he worked with. \n\n**Does he do it with friends?** Sometimes, and it's generally meant to annoy them or gross them out, but he stops. He has friends where they think its \"cute\" to embarrass each other. \n\n**Is this a kink/fetish?:** If so, I'm absolutely done. (Edited because it was offensive)\n\n**Has he seen a doctor?**: No, but I've asked him if he needed to talk to someone because he was acting strange, and he accused me of being stuck up and judgmental. Given that he doesn't act like this with his coworkers, or his family, and only jokes around with his friends, I'm willing to bet that this is an indication that he's trying to force this fetish on me nonconsensually, or trying to get me to leave.\n\n**Is it a tumor?**: I don't know. Like I said above, I asked him if he needed to see someone. I can't force him (even if I want to, just find out if there's any way we can salvage this), but after this post closes I will try to get him to. Maybe his sister can encourage him, even though he acts completely normal around them.\n\n**Does he have childhood trauma?:** As far as I know, and I'm relatively close to his family and would likely know, the most traumatic thing he had happen was a minor car accident when he was around 13 years old. No injuries, no death, etc. He hasn't been in a car accident in the past two years or anything like that, and I haven't, and AFAIK no one else in his family has been, etc.\n\n**I want to send you a chat instead of my comment getting lost**: Please don't. I've had a number of people repost this to make fun of me because I didn't respond the way they wanted, etc. Just comment, I can at least to respond to those and help others get an idea of what's going on.", "role": "smallslicedskin", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"smallslicedskin\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_8yfmuxpg\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1605812916.0, \"created_utc\": 1605812916.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1605836703.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"jx90uv\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_jx90uv\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 4004, \"num_crossposts\": 10, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jx90uv/aita_for_leaving_my_husband_in_the_grocery_store/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 24799, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"We all go through phases and pick up annoying habits, and sometimes we just need our loved ones to gently tell us if we've picked up a particularly egregious habit.\\n\\nSometime in the last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he talks like a baby. At first it was funny, but passed into embarrassing, cringeworthy behavior quickly.\\n\\nExamples: doggo, pupper, woofer/subwoofer, pibble, hooty-boy, peepo, birb, meowmeow, sammy, sammiches, sammywhammy, chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddleresque \\\"lisp\\\" to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemisms for genitalia or sex.\\n\\nI cannot emphasize this enough: it is not endearing or sexy to have my husband talk about my \\\"boobies\\\" and his \\\"weiner\\\" and \\\"weenie\\\" and \\\"wee wee\\\", \\\"hoohas\\\" and \\\"bajingos\\\" (Nostalgia for Scrubs be damned). We have not had sex for six months because he cannot stop talking about my \\\"boobies\\\" and it makes me sick.\\n\\nJust before the pandemic hit, we were out at a restaurant with some friends, he actually ordered a \\\"chicky sammy\\\" like, said that exact phrase. Chicky. Sammy. Look, it's totally fine that he ordered the chicken sandwich. That's not the issue. Our friends noticed the baby talk, because he insisted on continuing the \\\"joke\\\" and even started talking with this god awful toddler... lilt? Accent?\\n\\nAfter that, I just couldn't stomach the idea of going out with him to adult places. I'd go out to the brewery with friends, but god forbid he join me and say \\\"Me wanty 'nother beer!\\\" or something.\\n\\nI don't know where it came from. I don't know why he's doing this. I finally hit my limit when we were grocery shopping and everything seemed normal and fine until he gasped like a kid, ran to the ice cream section and jumped up and down yelling \\\"ICE CWEAM ICE CWEAM! I WANT CHOCWIT!\\\"\\n\\nI was *MORTIFIED*. People were staring at him and me. He kept going and kept saying \\\"CAN WE GET POPSICOOOS?\\\" and I just said \\\"Either talk to me like an adult or I'm leaving.\\\"\\n\\nHe started saying OOOOOO YOU MUST BE FUN AT PARTIES and LIGHTEN UP, WILL YOU? And shit like that. I just said fuck it, and left the store, leaving him to walk home (like a mile, it was fine) because I couldn't even look at him.\\n\\nSince then, things have been very tense, and he keeps telling me that he wants an apology for embarrassing him by leaving him in the store. I told him that people don't get to demand apologies, if someone wants to apologize, it's up to them, and I am absolutely not going to apologize for saving myself the embarrassment of a 35 year old man with a mortgage and retirement account asking for \\\"CHOCWIT ICE CWEAM.\\\"\\n\\nHe got his fucking Mom involved, no joke. She keeps telling me it's just a phase and that he's probably bored and I should be happy this is his midlife crisis, rather than him fucking 19 year olds at the local bar.\\n\\nI'm going crazy. AITA? Do I really just need to let my husband continuously embarrass me like this?\\n\\n**Edit:** Sorry, there was only so much space. I *have* talked to him. Multiple times. Especially about the sexual comments. I've made it extremely, abundantly clear that him using terms like \\\"boobies\\\" and \\\"wee wee\\\" are absolutely *repulsive* to me, among other things he says.\\n\\n**INFO:** Does he have a job? Yes, and he acts completely normal as far as I know. He worked from home for a while during lockdown, and I never heard him talk like this to anyone he worked with. \\n\\n**Does he do it with friends?** Sometimes, and it's generally meant to annoy them or gross them out, but he stops. He has friends where they think its \\\"cute\\\" to embarrass each other. \\n\\n**Is this a kink/fetish?:** If so, I'm absolutely done. (Edited because it was offensive)\\n\\n**Has he seen a doctor?**: No, but I've asked him if he needed to talk to someone because he was acting strange, and he accused me of being stuck up and judgmental. Given that he doesn't act like this with his coworkers, or his family, and only jokes around with his friends, I'm willing to bet that this is an indication that he's trying to force this fetish on me nonconsensually, or trying to get me to leave.\\n\\n**Is it a tumor?**: I don't know. Like I said above, I asked him if he needed to see someone. I can't force him (even if I want to, just find out if there's any way we can salvage this), but after this post closes I will try to get him to. Maybe his sister can encourage him, even though he acts completely normal around them.\\n\\n**Does he have childhood trauma?:** As far as I know, and I'm relatively close to his family and would likely know, the most traumatic thing he had happen was a minor car accident when he was around 13 years old. No injuries, no death, etc. He hasn't been in a car accident in the past two years or anything like that, and I haven't, and AFAIK no one else in his family has been, etc.\\n\\n**I want to send you a chat instead of my comment getting lost**: Please don't. I've had a number of people repost this to make fun of me because I didn't respond the way they wanted, etc. Just comment, I can at least to respond to those and help others get an idea of what's going on.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>We all go through phases and pick up annoying habits, and sometimes we just need our loved ones to gently tell us if we've picked up a particularly egregious habit.</p>\\n\\n<p>Sometime in the last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he talks like a baby. At first it was funny, but passed into embarrassing, cringeworthy behavior quickly.</p>\\n\\n<p>Examples: doggo, pupper, woofer/subwoofer, pibble, hooty-boy, peepo, birb, meowmeow, sammy, sammiches, sammywhammy, chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddleresque "lisp" to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemisms for genitalia or sex.</p>\\n\\n<p>I cannot emphasize this enough: it is not endearing or sexy to have my husband talk about my "boobies" and his "weiner" and "weenie" and "wee wee", "hoohas" and "bajingos" (Nostalgia for Scrubs be damned). We have not had sex for six months because he cannot stop talking about my "boobies" and it makes me sick.</p>\\n\\n<p>Just before the pandemic hit, we were out at a restaurant with some friends, he actually ordered a "chicky sammy" like, said that exact phrase. Chicky. Sammy. Look, it's totally fine that he ordered the chicken sandwich. That's not the issue. Our friends noticed the baby talk, because he insisted on continuing the "joke" and even started talking with this god awful toddler... lilt? Accent?</p>\\n\\n<p>After that, I just couldn't stomach the idea of going out with him to adult places. I'd go out to the brewery with friends, but god forbid he join me and say "Me wanty 'nother beer!" or something.</p>\\n\\n<p>I don't know where it came from. I don't know why he's doing this. I finally hit my limit when we were grocery shopping and everything seemed normal and fine until he gasped like a kid, ran to the ice cream section and jumped up and down yelling "ICE CWEAM ICE CWEAM! I WANT CHOCWIT!"</p>\\n\\n<p>I was <em>MORTIFIED</em>. People were staring at him and me. He kept going and kept saying "CAN WE GET POPSICOOOS?" and I just said "Either talk to me like an adult or I'm leaving."</p>\\n\\n<p>He started saying OOOOOO YOU MUST BE FUN AT PARTIES and LIGHTEN UP, WILL YOU? And shit like that. I just said fuck it, and left the store, leaving him to walk home (like a mile, it was fine) because I couldn't even look at him.</p>\\n\\n<p>Since then, things have been very tense, and he keeps telling me that he wants an apology for embarrassing him by leaving him in the store. I told him that people don't get to demand apologies, if someone wants to apologize, it's up to them, and I am absolutely not going to apologize for saving myself the embarrassment of a 35 year old man with a mortgage and retirement account asking for "CHOCWIT ICE CWEAM."</p>\\n\\n<p>He got his fucking Mom involved, no joke. She keeps telling me it's just a phase and that he's probably bored and I should be happy this is his midlife crisis, rather than him fucking 19 year olds at the local bar.</p>\\n\\n<p>I'm going crazy. AITA? Do I really just need to let my husband continuously embarrass me like this?</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Edit:</strong> Sorry, there was only so much space. I <em>have</em> talked to him. Multiple times. Especially about the sexual comments. I've made it extremely, abundantly clear that him using terms like "boobies" and "wee wee" are absolutely <em>repulsive</em> to me, among other things he says.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>INFO:</strong> Does he have a job? Yes, and he acts completely normal as far as I know. He worked from home for a while during lockdown, and I never heard him talk like this to anyone he worked with. </p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Does he do it with friends?</strong> Sometimes, and it's generally meant to annoy them or gross them out, but he stops. He has friends where they think its "cute" to embarrass each other. </p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Is this a kink/fetish?:</strong> If so, I'm absolutely done. (Edited because it was offensive)</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Has he seen a doctor?</strong>: No, but I've asked him if he needed to talk to someone because he was acting strange, and he accused me of being stuck up and judgmental. Given that he doesn't act like this with his coworkers, or his family, and only jokes around with his friends, I'm willing to bet that this is an indication that he's trying to force this fetish on me nonconsensually, or trying to get me to leave.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Is it a tumor?</strong>: I don't know. Like I said above, I asked him if he needed to see someone. I can't force him (even if I want to, just find out if there's any way we can salvage this), but after this post closes I will try to get him to. Maybe his sister can encourage him, even though he acts completely normal around them.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>Does he have childhood trauma?:</strong> As far as I know, and I'm relatively close to his family and would likely know, the most traumatic thing he had happen was a minor car accident when he was around 13 years old. No injuries, no death, etc. He hasn't been in a car accident in the past two years or anything like that, and I haven't, and AFAIK no one else in his family has been, etc.</p>\\n\\n<p><strong>I want to send you a chat instead of my comment getting lost</strong>: Please don't. I've had a number of people repost this to make fun of me because I didn't respond the way they wanted, etc. Just comment, I can at least to respond to those and help others get an idea of what's going on.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049309, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_jx90uv\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for leaving my husband in the grocery store because he started acting like a toddler?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 24799, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jx90uv/aita_for_leaving_my_husband_in_the_grocery_store/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA. The word *Fremdsch\u00e4men* was taught to me by a German friend, and it seems very appropriate for this situation:\n\n>\tfremdsch\u00e4men: (reflexive, informal) to feel ashamed about something someone else has done; to be embarrassed because someone else has embarrassed themselves (and doesn't notice)\n[...quoted text...]\n\nhttps://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fremdsch\u00e4men\n\nI am feeling very strong fredmsch\u00e4men. The CRINGE.", "role": "Ishsun16", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Ishsun16\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_4k6y6pki\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA. The word *Fremdsch\\u00e4men* was taught to me by a German friend, and it seems very appropriate for this situation:\\n\\n>\\tfremdsch\\u00e4men: (reflexive, informal) to feel ashamed about something someone else has done; to be embarrassed because someone else has embarrassed themselves (and doesn't notice)\\n\\nhttps://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fremdsch\\u00e4men\\n\\nI am feeling very strong fredmsch\\u00e4men. The CRINGE.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA. The word <em>Fremdsch\\u00e4men</em> was taught to me by a German friend, and it seems very appropriate for this situation:</p>\\n\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>fremdsch\\u00e4men: (reflexive, informal) to feel ashamed about something someone else has done; to be embarrassed because someone else has embarrassed themselves (and doesn't notice)</p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p><a href=\\\"https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fremdsch%C3%A4men\\\">https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fremdsch\\u00e4men</a></p>\\n\\n<p>I am feeling very strong fredmsch\\u00e4men. The CRINGE.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1605819904.0, \"created_utc\": 1605819904.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gcvbik6\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_jx90uv\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gcvbik6\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_jx90uv\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jx90uv/aita_for_leaving_my_husband_in_the_grocery_store/gcvbik6/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 324, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 324, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "bc621832dcfed683", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#735a17", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "aa1c7c24-f8a6-11e8-a46f-0e06b36127fc", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Aficionado [18]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "343f7470f40419b4", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Shame-by-proxy or [Vicarious Embarrassment](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicarious_embarrassment) are also words for that. I have that particular quirk. This post has been killing me. Normally it just means I can't watch most sit-coms.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Shame-by-proxy or <a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicarious_embarrassment\">Vicarious Embarrassment</a> are also words for that. I have that particular quirk. This post has been killing me. Normally it just means I can't watch most sit-coms.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1605824440.0, "created_utc": 1605824440.0, "depth": 1, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gcvmvkq", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jx90uv", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gcvmvkq", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gcvbik6", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jx90uv/aita_for_leaving_my_husband_in_the_grocery_store/gcvmvkq/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "23704b2c895c0e0e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#e3be04", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "e899ca7e-a710-11e9-8365-0e193c0f4a16", "author_flair_text": "Professor Emeritass [73]", "author_flair_text_color": "dark", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "a03e05c35da3f90e", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Cringe comedy. I dislike it.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Cringe comedy. I dislike it.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1605839818.0, "created_utc": 1605839818.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gcwhc9y", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_jx90uv", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gcwhc9y", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gcvmvkq", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/jx90uv/aita_for_leaving_my_husband_in_the_grocery_store/gcwhc9y/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 19, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 19, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 57, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 57, "user_reports": []}
|
Oh, yes. The ol "ungrateful".
Usually said by those who have done the least to ever deserve gratitude.
|
okzq0t
|
9c6272544f9c47af
| 1,626,396,583
| 7
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family conflict dynamics, particularly involving inheritance disputes and parental favoritism", "Property rights and ownership disputes, especially regarding items with significant monetary or sentimental value", "Workplace boundary violations and exploitation of family relationships for free labor", "Cases involving manipulation and gaslighting within family systems", "Legal and ethical questions around fair compensation and contractual obligations", "Interpersonal boundary violations such as privacy invasion and theft", "Power dynamics in relationships where one party exploits another's goodwill", "Situations where people use convenient excuses to justify unethical behavior", "Cases involving entitlement from family members who expect special treatment", "Scenarios where people face consequences for their manipulative actions"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal property rights, stating 'At what part of the process do you think they learn that they only own the things they bought, and not other things they didn't buy?'", "Advocates for fair compensation in family relationships, noting 'OP should get *more*. She's family' when discussing payment for babysitting", "Skeptical of convenient excuses and self-serving explanations, responding 'That sounds really fishy, coming from an adult. I wouldn't really buy this line if I were you'", "Believes people who understand costs are deliberately trying to avoid them, stating 'They understand it just fine. That's why they are working so hard to make someone else pay for it'", "Views accepting offered prices as ethical, asserting 'He didn't take advantage of anything. He just accepted an offer'", "Recognizes that treating family worse than strangers is particularly egregious, noting 'Oh, so even more assholish than if they were strangers'", "Believes manipulative behavior deserves consequences, saying 'I think this is a great response to it, because it makes him end up as the one frustrated and angry'", "Sees through false claims of gratitude, observing 'Oh, yes. The ol \"ungrateful\". Usually said by those who have done the least to ever deserve gratitude'", "Values sentimental intent over monetary value, defending 'That's not asking for the estate, that's asking for a few specific items with sentimental value'", "Suspicious of convenient timing in harmful actions, noting about a potential murder 'seems like enought to get a homocide detective's attention to see what they think'"], "communication": ["Uses very short, direct statements that cut to the core issue without diplomatic hedging", "Frequently employs block quotes with '>' to highlight contradictions or absurd statements from others", "Uses rhetorical questions to expose flawed logic, such as 'So that means they think they own that stuff that they didn't buy? What a bunch of horseshit'", "Employs sarcasm and dry humor effectively, as in 'Or that you caught her cheating on him, lol. Even if it wasn't true. I wonder what she would've done with THAT'", "Uses italics for emphasis on key words, like '*more*' and 'HIGHLY suspicious'", "Writes in a conversational tone with phrases like 'lol', 'bro', and casual profanity when appropriate", "Often begins responses by directly quoting the most problematic part of a statement before dismantling it", "Combines short punchy statements with occasional longer analytical observations", "Uses phrases like 'Fucking gross' and 'What an asshole move' to express strong disapproval without elaborate explanation", "Frequently points out what should be obvious to adults, highlighting when people are being deliberately obtuse"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 20-25 words, with range from 8 words minimum to 60 words maximum", "Frequently uses phrases like 'That's on [person]', 'sounds fishy/suspicious', and 'What a bunch of horseshit'", "Employs rhetorical questions in roughly 40% of responses to challenge faulty reasoning", "Uses block quotes ('>') in approximately 30% of responses to highlight contradictions", "Sentence structure alternates between very short declarative statements (5-8 words) and moderate analytical sentences (20-30 words)", "Uses italics for emphasis in about 20% of responses", "Incorporates casual profanity ('fucking', 'bullshit', 'asshole') in roughly 25% of responses for emphasis", "Most common response pattern: quote problematic statement, then deliver 1-2 sentence rebuttal", "Frequently ends responses with a pointed observation or rhetorical question that summarizes the core issue"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for telling my step-dad and mom that they shouldn't be surprised at what my little brother said to them when they pulled a prank on him?\n\nI \\[20 F\\] am an older sister to my little (biological) brother (17 M) who finished high school last year. My little brother and I are really close. He says I'm the best friend he has and he loves me more than anyone (of course this is not true, he has many friends of his own).\n\nMy brother has been asking our step-dad/mother if he could get a new car for his grad party since last year, and he said he'd pay 50-75% with his own hard-earned money while they paid the rest. They said no. I have a car but I had been working for one, they helped me pay off for it. So my brother's arguments with our parents got heated after awhile (one time I told my brother that I'd help him pay off expenses for a good car once I got my own. He hugged me and said I didn't need to worry and that he owed me way more than I owed him). But he continued to press our parents all of last year until they gave in and said yes like they did for me.\n\nNote that our step-dad and my brother have a negative relationship for the most part. Our bio mother and step-dad got together soon after our bio dad and mom divorced when we were little. My brother thinks that step-dad and mother were seeing each other before our real parents divorced and tbh, I think that might be true. Not certain, though.\n\nAnyway, my step-dad, mother and brother compromised and said they'd get him the car in 2021 so that people don't gawk at him at the graduation party. June this year my brother and step-dad/mother are still on about the car, now the arguments getting loud and lasting hours until evening. My step-dad was getting into screaming matches with my brother over it but they reached a final compromise of the car being bought last week. \n\nThe fated morning comes and my brother wakes up to our step-dad and mom guiding him outside to... a car. But not his, our mother's. Step-dad used his and my brother's money on a dumb prank, bought a completely different model of car, and said it was for our mother. Our mom and step dad just laughed and kissed each other. My brother didn't lose it, he didn't even look angry. He just looked dead in our step-dad's eyes and said, and I'm not joking, verbatim: \"you might think I'm fucking stupid, you might think whatever. But I'm just better than you, bro. You know that, I know that, and our mom is a fucking idiot for staying with a prick like you. But I'll make you wish you'd never fucking met us. I promise you. You might be laughing now, but you'll be crying later.\" He then walked off, not even looking back at them as they stared horrified.\n\nThey asked me what was that about and I, feeling terrible for my brother, said they had it coming and not to be surprised. So now they grounded both of us. I've had to explain the situation to my friends as I can't see them anymore but I feel so bad for my baby brother and they back me up on this and ask me to comfort him as much as possible. But our parents are so mad, and they can't see that my brother had his heart crushed. AITA?", "role": "jamie_doo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"jamie_doo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dbmev49p\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1626376403.0, \"created_utc\": 1626376403.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"okzq0t\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1940, \"num_crossposts\": 10, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 34360, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I \\\\[20 F\\\\] am an older sister to my little (biological) brother (17 M) who finished high school last year. My little brother and I are really close. He says I'm the best friend he has and he loves me more than anyone (of course this is not true, he has many friends of his own).\\n\\nMy brother has been asking our step-dad/mother if he could get a new car for his grad party since last year, and he said he'd pay 50-75% with his own hard-earned money while they paid the rest. They said no. I have a car but I had been working for one, they helped me pay off for it. So my brother's arguments with our parents got heated after awhile (one time I told my brother that I'd help him pay off expenses for a good car once I got my own. He hugged me and said I didn't need to worry and that he owed me way more than I owed him). But he continued to press our parents all of last year until they gave in and said yes like they did for me.\\n\\nNote that our step-dad and my brother have a negative relationship for the most part. Our bio mother and step-dad got together soon after our bio dad and mom divorced when we were little. My brother thinks that step-dad and mother were seeing each other before our real parents divorced and tbh, I think that might be true. Not certain, though.\\n\\nAnyway, my step-dad, mother and brother compromised and said they'd get him the car in 2021 so that people don't gawk at him at the graduation party. June this year my brother and step-dad/mother are still on about the car, now the arguments getting loud and lasting hours until evening. My step-dad was getting into screaming matches with my brother over it but they reached a final compromise of the car being bought last week. \\n\\nThe fated morning comes and my brother wakes up to our step-dad and mom guiding him outside to... a car. But not his, our mother's. Step-dad used his and my brother's money on a dumb prank, bought a completely different model of car, and said it was for our mother. Our mom and step dad just laughed and kissed each other. My brother didn't lose it, he didn't even look angry. He just looked dead in our step-dad's eyes and said, and I'm not joking, verbatim: \\\"you might think I'm fucking stupid, you might think whatever. But I'm just better than you, bro. You know that, I know that, and our mom is a fucking idiot for staying with a prick like you. But I'll make you wish you'd never fucking met us. I promise you. You might be laughing now, but you'll be crying later.\\\" He then walked off, not even looking back at them as they stared horrified.\\n\\nThey asked me what was that about and I, feeling terrible for my brother, said they had it coming and not to be surprised. So now they grounded both of us. I've had to explain the situation to my friends as I can't see them anymore but I feel so bad for my baby brother and they back me up on this and ask me to comfort him as much as possible. But our parents are so mad, and they can't see that my brother had his heart crushed. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I [20 F] am an older sister to my little (biological) brother (17 M) who finished high school last year. My little brother and I are really close. He says I'm the best friend he has and he loves me more than anyone (of course this is not true, he has many friends of his own).</p>\\n\\n<p>My brother has been asking our step-dad/mother if he could get a new car for his grad party since last year, and he said he'd pay 50-75% with his own hard-earned money while they paid the rest. They said no. I have a car but I had been working for one, they helped me pay off for it. So my brother's arguments with our parents got heated after awhile (one time I told my brother that I'd help him pay off expenses for a good car once I got my own. He hugged me and said I didn't need to worry and that he owed me way more than I owed him). But he continued to press our parents all of last year until they gave in and said yes like they did for me.</p>\\n\\n<p>Note that our step-dad and my brother have a negative relationship for the most part. Our bio mother and step-dad got together soon after our bio dad and mom divorced when we were little. My brother thinks that step-dad and mother were seeing each other before our real parents divorced and tbh, I think that might be true. Not certain, though.</p>\\n\\n<p>Anyway, my step-dad, mother and brother compromised and said they'd get him the car in 2021 so that people don't gawk at him at the graduation party. June this year my brother and step-dad/mother are still on about the car, now the arguments getting loud and lasting hours until evening. My step-dad was getting into screaming matches with my brother over it but they reached a final compromise of the car being bought last week. </p>\\n\\n<p>The fated morning comes and my brother wakes up to our step-dad and mom guiding him outside to... a car. But not his, our mother's. Step-dad used his and my brother's money on a dumb prank, bought a completely different model of car, and said it was for our mother. Our mom and step dad just laughed and kissed each other. My brother didn't lose it, he didn't even look angry. He just looked dead in our step-dad's eyes and said, and I'm not joking, verbatim: "you might think I'm fucking stupid, you might think whatever. But I'm just better than you, bro. You know that, I know that, and our mom is a fucking idiot for staying with a prick like you. But I'll make you wish you'd never fucking met us. I promise you. You might be laughing now, but you'll be crying later." He then walked off, not even looking back at them as they stared horrified.</p>\\n\\n<p>They asked me what was that about and I, feeling terrible for my brother, said they had it coming and not to be surprised. So now they grounded both of us. I've had to explain the situation to my friends as I can't see them anymore but I feel so bad for my baby brother and they back me up on this and ask me to comfort him as much as possible. But our parents are so mad, and they can't see that my brother had his heart crushed. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling my step-dad and mom that they shouldn't be surprised at what my little brother said to them when they pulled a prank on him?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 34360, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.91, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Wait...so your parents used 75% of your brothers money to buy themselves a car as a \u201cprank\u201d?", "role": "merlin242", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"merlin242\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ab8c0e\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [38]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dewre\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Wait...so your parents used 75% of your brothers money to buy themselves a car as a \\u201cprank\\u201d?\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Wait...so your parents used 75% of your brothers money to buy themselves a car as a \\u201cprank\\u201d?</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626376746.0, \"created_utc\": 1626376746.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5b6c82\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5b6c82\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5b6c82/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 16290, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 16290, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Yes. As awful as it sounds. My brother is destroyed by my mother especially.", "role": "jamie_doo", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"jamie_doo\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_dbmev49p\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Yes. As awful as it sounds. My brother is destroyed by my mother especially.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Yes. As awful as it sounds. My brother is destroyed by my mother especially.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626376870.0, \"created_utc\": 1626376870.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5b6mb2\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5b6mb2\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h5b6c82\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5b6mb2/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 13769, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 13769, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "They aren\u2019t even going to return the car?! I\u2019d let them know he\u2019s going to press charges for theft of his money used to buy a car. There\u2019s debate below on if he can, and it depends on where you live I guess, but do your parents know that? \n\nYou\u2019re NTA, that wasn\u2019t a prank. A prank requires both parties to enjoy it. This was just cruel.\n\nPlus, you\u2019re 20, they can\u2019t really ground you you are a full adult.", "role": "fragilemagnoliax", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"fragilemagnoliax\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_50q2fpp0\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"They aren\\u2019t even going to return the car?! I\\u2019d let them know he\\u2019s going to press charges for theft of his money used to buy a car. There\\u2019s debate below on if he can, and it depends on where you live I guess, but do your parents know that? \\n\\nYou\\u2019re NTA, that wasn\\u2019t a prank. A prank requires both parties to enjoy it. This was just cruel.\\n\\nPlus, you\\u2019re 20, they can\\u2019t really ground you you are a full adult.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>They aren\\u2019t even going to return the car?! I\\u2019d let them know he\\u2019s going to press charges for theft of his money used to buy a car. There\\u2019s debate below on if he can, and it depends on where you live I guess, but do your parents know that? </p>\\n\\n<p>You\\u2019re NTA, that wasn\\u2019t a prank. A prank requires both parties to enjoy it. This was just cruel.</p>\\n\\n<p>Plus, you\\u2019re 20, they can\\u2019t really ground you you are a full adult.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626384739.0, \"created_utc\": 1626384739.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5bodbo\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5bodbo\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h5b6mb2\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5bodbo/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 1265, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 1265, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "\u201cPlus, you\u2019re 20, they can\u2019t ground you\u2026\u201d\nYeah I was thinking the same thing, but if OP\u2019s mom would do something so cruel as a prank I\u2019m sure they have specific house rules for OP to continue living there. I know for me personally as soon as I graduated high school I had to start paying rent to live with my mom and her husband. I would\u2019ve lived with my dad but I was making really good money where I worked and my dad lived an hour away from where I was working (and that was on the tollway). My mom\u2019s husband even tried to take my phone from me (I\u2019ve payed for my own phone since Junior or Senior year of high school) when we got in an argument. Sometimes parents have strict rules for their adult-aged children when living under their roof.", "role": "Recycled-michael", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Recycled-michael\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_h06fe\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"\\u201cPlus, you\\u2019re 20, they can\\u2019t ground you\\u2026\\u201d\\nYeah I was thinking the same thing, but if OP\\u2019s mom would do something so cruel as a prank I\\u2019m sure they have specific house rules for OP to continue living there. I know for me personally as soon as I graduated high school I had to start paying rent to live with my mom and her husband. I would\\u2019ve lived with my dad but I was making really good money where I worked and my dad lived an hour away from where I was working (and that was on the tollway). My mom\\u2019s husband even tried to take my phone from me (I\\u2019ve payed for my own phone since Junior or Senior year of high school) when we got in an argument. Sometimes parents have strict rules for their adult-aged children when living under their roof.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>\\u201cPlus, you\\u2019re 20, they can\\u2019t ground you\\u2026\\u201d\\nYeah I was thinking the same thing, but if OP\\u2019s mom would do something so cruel as a prank I\\u2019m sure they have specific house rules for OP to continue living there. I know for me personally as soon as I graduated high school I had to start paying rent to live with my mom and her husband. I would\\u2019ve lived with my dad but I was making really good money where I worked and my dad lived an hour away from where I was working (and that was on the tollway). My mom\\u2019s husband even tried to take my phone from me (I\\u2019ve payed for my own phone since Junior or Senior year of high school) when we got in an argument. Sometimes parents have strict rules for their adult-aged children when living under their roof.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626385927.0, \"created_utc\": 1626385927.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5bqxp1\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5bqxp1\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h5bodbo\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5bqxp1/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 745, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 745, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Once you pay rent, you\u2019re a fucking tenant. Parents don\u2019t get to demand rent from their sons and daughters and still treat them like children. Imagine if the bank or his landlord tried to take his fucking phone over an argument.", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Once you pay rent, you\\u2019re a fucking tenant. Parents don\\u2019t get to demand rent from their sons and daughters and still treat them like children. Imagine if the bank or his landlord tried to take his fucking phone over an argument.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Once you pay rent, you\\u2019re a fucking tenant. Parents don\\u2019t get to demand rent from their sons and daughters and still treat them like children. Imagine if the bank or his landlord tried to take his fucking phone over an argument.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626388792.0, \"created_utc\": 1626388792.0, \"depth\": 4, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5bwxqk\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5bwxqk\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h5bqxp1\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5bwxqk/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 611, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 611, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "You\u2019ve never met my mother\u2026 I\u2019d complain about the treatment and then she\u2019d just tell me I\u2019m ungrateful, so yeah.", "role": "Recycled-michael", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Recycled-michael\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_h06fe\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"You\\u2019ve never met my mother\\u2026 I\\u2019d complain about the treatment and then she\\u2019d just tell me I\\u2019m ungrateful, so yeah.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>You\\u2019ve never met my mother\\u2026 I\\u2019d complain about the treatment and then she\\u2019d just tell me I\\u2019m ungrateful, so yeah.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1626388870.0, \"created_utc\": 1626388870.0, \"depth\": 5, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"h5bx3h7\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_okzq0t\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_h5bx3h7\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_h5bwxqk\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5bx3h7/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 136, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 136, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
|
{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "9c6272544f9c47af", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "56e74d82a831710b", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Oh, yes. The ol \"ungrateful\".\n\nUsually said by those who have done the least to ever deserve gratitude.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Oh, yes. The ol "ungrateful".</p>\n\n<p>Usually said by those who have done the least to ever deserve gratitude.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1626396583.0, "created_utc": 1626396583.0, "depth": 6, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "h5cc85v", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_okzq0t", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_h5cc85v", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_h5bx3h7", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/okzq0t/aita_for_telling_my_stepdad_and_mom_that_they/h5cc85v/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 25, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 25, "user_reports": []}
|
It's a terrible and flawed perspective.
|
flvmtn
|
16582e90424f01e4
| 1,584,726,676
| 4
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "40s-50s (mentions events from 20+ years ago regarding college, has four children, references to MIL who has passed away)", "gender": "Likely female (told 'girls don't do those things' regarding career choice, references to MIL suggest married to male)", "location": "NA", "occupation": "Has business degree but expresses dissatisfaction with it; specific current occupation not mentioned", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Married with four children; mother died in childhood (age 7-8); was raised by aunt and cousin from age 10; has a business degree obtained 20+ years ago; still paying off student loans; describes one child as 'prudish' suggesting adult or near-adult children"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly parent-child relationships", "Fairness and equity in treatment of children and family members", "Legal matters including property rights, divorce proceedings, and custody issues", "Adoption and foster care situations, especially regarding children's emotional wellbeing", "Wedding planning conflicts and family boundary issues", "Relationship problems involving infidelity, communication breakdowns, and respect", "Property and personal belongings disputes", "Gender discrimination and career choice autonomy", "LGBTQ+ issues, particularly regarding homophobia and coming out", "Parenting challenges and responsibilities", "Financial matters related to inheritance, gifts with strings attached, and college funding", "Personal autonomy and standing up against family pressure"], "values": ["Strongly values equity over equality: 'They should be treated not necessarily the same, but equitably'", "Believes in personal autonomy in life decisions: 'Do what you want to do with your life or you'll regret it later'", "Opposes homophobia: 'Are you saying that it's okay for somebody to go on a homophobic rant if their SO cheated'", "Values proper communication in relationships: 'OP, YTA for poor communication and not considering how your wife would feel'", "Believes in holding people accountable: 'Actions have consequences and now she gets to face those consequences'", "Respects children's voices and feelings: 'Good on you for giving your young man the choice. Good on you for making sure he knows his feelings matter'", "Opposes gender discrimination: regrets being told 'girls don't do those things' regarding engineering/IT/architecture", "Values respect for others' property and boundaries: 'It was incredibly disrespectful, never mind illegal'", "Believes money should not come with manipulative strings attached in family relationships", "Prioritizes emotional wellbeing over financial gain: would offer 'comfort and sympathy while internalizing my relief over their financial situation because the money is secondary to the trauma'", "Opposes blaming women for men's infidelity: 'I've never understood why women frequently blame the other woman rather than blaming the man'", "Values standing up against toxic family members rather than maintaining false peace"], "communication": ["Frequently shares personal anecdotes to support arguments: 'When I was going to college, I had plans of what I wanted to do'", "Uses validating opening phrases: 'Good on you', 'I agree', 'Honesty', 'NTA'", "Employs direct, conversational tone with occasional profanity for emphasis", "Uses italics and quotes to emphasize key points: '*Cries in ten days of blood a month.*'", "Structures longer responses with clear logical progression and paragraph breaks", "References personal family experience frequently: 'I have four kids' appears multiple times", "Uses rhetorical questions to challenge flawed logic: 'What else was she supposed to do to make him understand?'", "Provides practical advice alongside emotional support", "Quotes specific problematic statements from original posts to highlight issues", "Balances empathy with firm moral stances", "Uses conditional statements to explore consequences: 'If he had approached it better, she might not have had a problem with it'", "Shares vulnerable personal history when relevant: childhood trauma, career regrets, MIL conflicts"], "statistics": ["Response length varies from 1 sentence (15-20 words) to 10+ sentences (200+ words)", "Average response length approximately 50-80 words (3-5 sentences)", "Frequently uses phrases: 'Good on you/OP', 'NTA', 'I have four kids', 'I agree'", "Common sentence starters: 'I', 'Good on', 'It's', 'That', 'Yea'", "Uses rhetorical questions in approximately 30% of responses", "Shares personal anecdotes in roughly 40% of responses", "Employs italics or quotes for emphasis in about 25% of responses", "Typically uses 2-3 paragraph structure for longer responses", "Vocabulary includes both casual ('yea', 'gonna') and formal language", "Sentence structure varies from simple declarative to complex conditional statements"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for proving to my roommate that her boyfriend keeps hitting on me?\n\nI\u2019m Sam, my roommates name is Lauren, and her boyfriends name is Mark. \n\nLauren and Mark have been dating for maybe four months. Mark always hits on me. Like always. As soon as Lauren walks away, Mark is laying it on thick with compliments, and asking when our lease is up. \n\nI wear a lot of body-con and sometimes low cut clothing , so I expect to get glances maybe mild staring. But this guy is very obviously hitting on me, and often times in ways that make me uncomfortable, especially since he is always at our apartment. \n \nI have told Lauren several times that Mark hits on me, and she just rolls her eyes. She doesn\u2019t believe me, which is confusing to me. Lauren and I have been roommates for five years. In that time she has dated three other guys, and I have never complained about this before. \n\nSo yesterday she tells me that Mark is coming over. I was like, great, I told her if she would just walk upstairs in our apartment building, and tell Mark that she was going around the block, she would walk in and see him hitting on me. She actually agreed to do it to \u201chumor\u201d me. \n\nMark gets to the apartment, and I am just doing the dishes, I tell him that Lauren went to the store up the block, but she is really right outside the door. \n\nHe sits at the counter and starts chatting with me normally, then the conversation turns to him hitting on me. Normally I just walk away from Mark, but I endured it so that Lauren would see/hear.\n\nShe came in and told Mark to go to her room. Then she then she starts yelling at *ME*. Saying I saying I tried to seduce him and that I dressed like a slut. And I\u2019m like \u201cI *always* dress like a slut Lauren! Who cares! Your boyfriend is hitting on me!\u201d\nWe argued and both said some shitty stuff to each other. \n\nShe and Mark are staying in her bedroom and we haven\u2019t spoken to each other since. As I\u2019m thinking about it, I\u2019m wondering if I am an asshole for even trying to do this but at the same time I think she sucks for not believing me in the first place. \n\nI live in New York. I love my neighborhood I don\u2019t want to have to find a new roommate because of this idiot. If I did an asshole thing please tell me. AITA", "role": "booberellla", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"booberellla\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5zb0888s\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1584713410.0, \"created_utc\": 1584713410.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"flvmtn\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_flvmtn\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1647, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28708, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I\\u2019m Sam, my roommates name is Lauren, and her boyfriends name is Mark. \\n\\nLauren and Mark have been dating for maybe four months. Mark always hits on me. Like always. As soon as Lauren walks away, Mark is laying it on thick with compliments, and asking when our lease is up. \\n\\nI wear a lot of body-con and sometimes low cut clothing , so I expect to get glances maybe mild staring. But this guy is very obviously hitting on me, and often times in ways that make me uncomfortable, especially since he is always at our apartment. \\n \\nI have told Lauren several times that Mark hits on me, and she just rolls her eyes. She doesn\\u2019t believe me, which is confusing to me. Lauren and I have been roommates for five years. In that time she has dated three other guys, and I have never complained about this before. \\n\\nSo yesterday she tells me that Mark is coming over. I was like, great, I told her if she would just walk upstairs in our apartment building, and tell Mark that she was going around the block, she would walk in and see him hitting on me. She actually agreed to do it to \\u201chumor\\u201d me. \\n\\nMark gets to the apartment, and I am just doing the dishes, I tell him that Lauren went to the store up the block, but she is really right outside the door. \\n\\nHe sits at the counter and starts chatting with me normally, then the conversation turns to him hitting on me. Normally I just walk away from Mark, but I endured it so that Lauren would see/hear.\\n\\nShe came in and told Mark to go to her room. Then she then she starts yelling at *ME*. Saying I saying I tried to seduce him and that I dressed like a slut. And I\\u2019m like \\u201cI *always* dress like a slut Lauren! Who cares! Your boyfriend is hitting on me!\\u201d\\nWe argued and both said some shitty stuff to each other. \\n\\nShe and Mark are staying in her bedroom and we haven\\u2019t spoken to each other since. As I\\u2019m thinking about it, I\\u2019m wondering if I am an asshole for even trying to do this but at the same time I think she sucks for not believing me in the first place. \\n\\nI live in New York. I love my neighborhood I don\\u2019t want to have to find a new roommate because of this idiot. If I did an asshole thing please tell me. AITA\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I\\u2019m Sam, my roommates name is Lauren, and her boyfriends name is Mark. </p>\\n\\n<p>Lauren and Mark have been dating for maybe four months. Mark always hits on me. Like always. As soon as Lauren walks away, Mark is laying it on thick with compliments, and asking when our lease is up. </p>\\n\\n<p>I wear a lot of body-con and sometimes low cut clothing , so I expect to get glances maybe mild staring. But this guy is very obviously hitting on me, and often times in ways that make me uncomfortable, especially since he is always at our apartment. </p>\\n\\n<p>I have told Lauren several times that Mark hits on me, and she just rolls her eyes. She doesn\\u2019t believe me, which is confusing to me. Lauren and I have been roommates for five years. In that time she has dated three other guys, and I have never complained about this before. </p>\\n\\n<p>So yesterday she tells me that Mark is coming over. I was like, great, I told her if she would just walk upstairs in our apartment building, and tell Mark that she was going around the block, she would walk in and see him hitting on me. She actually agreed to do it to \\u201chumor\\u201d me. </p>\\n\\n<p>Mark gets to the apartment, and I am just doing the dishes, I tell him that Lauren went to the store up the block, but she is really right outside the door. </p>\\n\\n<p>He sits at the counter and starts chatting with me normally, then the conversation turns to him hitting on me. Normally I just walk away from Mark, but I endured it so that Lauren would see/hear.</p>\\n\\n<p>She came in and told Mark to go to her room. Then she then she starts yelling at <em>ME</em>. Saying I saying I tried to seduce him and that I dressed like a slut. And I\\u2019m like \\u201cI <em>always</em> dress like a slut Lauren! Who cares! Your boyfriend is hitting on me!\\u201d\\nWe argued and both said some shitty stuff to each other. </p>\\n\\n<p>She and Mark are staying in her bedroom and we haven\\u2019t spoken to each other since. As I\\u2019m thinking about it, I\\u2019m wondering if I am an asshole for even trying to do this but at the same time I think she sucks for not believing me in the first place. </p>\\n\\n<p>I live in New York. I love my neighborhood I don\\u2019t want to have to find a new roommate because of this idiot. If I did an asshole thing please tell me. AITA</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_flvmtn\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for proving to my roommate that her boyfriend keeps hitting on me?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28708, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "NTA, if you were trying to seduce him then why would you be continually trying to tell her about it and warn her. Her anger is completely misplaced, probably because she is in denial that her boyfriend is a fucking sleazebag", "role": "1_Justbreakup", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"1_Justbreakup\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ffd700\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"d0f51afc-f510-11e8-a5da-0e4d9a1c42d6\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Supreme Court Just-ass [113]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_3bfxf0gf\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"NTA, if you were trying to seduce him then why would you be continually trying to tell her about it and warn her. Her anger is completely misplaced, probably because she is in denial that her boyfriend is a fucking sleazebag\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>NTA, if you were trying to seduce him then why would you be continually trying to tell her about it and warn her. Her anger is completely misplaced, probably because she is in denial that her boyfriend is a fucking sleazebag</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1584714350.0, \"created_utc\": 1584714350.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fl0rurt\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_flvmtn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fl0rurt\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_flvmtn\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/fl0rurt/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 18067, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 18067, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "I've never understood why women frequently blame the other woman rather than blaming the man. NTA", "role": "Anianna", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Anianna\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [1]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_cekyq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"I've never understood why women frequently blame the other woman rather than blaming the man. NTA\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I've never understood why women frequently blame the other woman rather than blaming the man. NTA</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1584724696.0, \"created_utc\": 1584724696.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fl19n89\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_flvmtn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fl19n89\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fl0rurt\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/fl19n89/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 412, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 412, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Because it's easier.\n\nIf Sam is actively trying to steal my man, then Sam is terrible, and it's all Sam's fault.\n\nBut if *Mark* is actively trying to seek out other women, then there must be something wrong with me.", "role": "sweetalkersweetalker", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"sweetalkersweetalker\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_71264\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Because it's easier.\\n\\nIf Sam is actively trying to steal my man, then Sam is terrible, and it's all Sam's fault.\\n\\nBut if *Mark* is actively trying to seek out other women, then there must be something wrong with me.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Because it's easier.</p>\\n\\n<p>If Sam is actively trying to steal my man, then Sam is terrible, and it's all Sam's fault.</p>\\n\\n<p>But if <em>Mark</em> is actively trying to seek out other women, then there must be something wrong with me.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1584726266.0, \"created_utc\": 1584726266.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fl1cgsr\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_flvmtn\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_fl1cgsr\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_fl19n89\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/fl1cgsr/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 431, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 431, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "16582e90424f01e4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5adbdbd2e3fe8bff", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It's a terrible and flawed perspective.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It's a terrible and flawed perspective.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1584726676.0, "created_utc": 1584726676.0, "depth": 3, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fl1d75t", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_flvmtn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fl1d75t", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fl1cgsr", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/fl1d75t/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0f9b5a218588e2fb", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#ab8c0e", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0", "author_flair_text": "Colo-rectal Surgeon [35]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9d28f489f3db5e27", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "It's also sad. People project because of insecurities. Having your boyfriend actively trying to find another girl while dating you will obviously hurt. It's no excuse to treat others badly but it's not necessarily evil. Hopefully OP's roommate will realize their mistake and learn from the whole experience.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>It's also sad. People project because of insecurities. Having your boyfriend actively trying to find another girl while dating you will obviously hurt. It's no excuse to treat others badly but it's not necessarily evil. Hopefully OP's roommate will realize their mistake and learn from the whole experience.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1584736195.0, "created_utc": 1584736195.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fl1tvmb", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_flvmtn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fl1tvmb", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fl1d75t", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/fl1tvmb/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "95c0ef29d5bee8a5", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "9ed75715c8ba459c", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "A lot of that is because they've been taught their whole lives that if they can't please a man, it's their fault and that men can't be at fault for the relationship having problems because it's their job to \"care\" for them. It's sad (and sexist, but that's besides the point.)", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>A lot of that is because they've been taught their whole lives that if they can't please a man, it's their fault and that men can't be at fault for the relationship having problems because it's their job to "care" for them. It's sad (and sexist, but that's besides the point.)</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1584807853.0, "created_utc": 1584807853.0, "depth": 5, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fl47w6s", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_flvmtn", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fl47w6s", "no_follow": true, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fl1tvmb", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/flvmtn/aita_for_proving_to_my_roommate_that_her/fl47w6s/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 2, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 2, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 36, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 36, "user_reports": []}], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 122, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 122, "user_reports": []}
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The only way to save your job is go to your boss and tell him you’ve come to realize your wife’s behavior is abusive and you are leaving her and if she comes to the office she should be stopped at the front desk because she is not there with your permission.
And then actually start the process of leaving her.
Because she WILL violate that ban and you will be fired. But Never mind that, leave because you don’t deserve to be abused.
|
usc7y3
|
ec4205ef5ddc57c4
| 1,652,887,859
| 3
|
{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Has personal experience as a child of a 'deadbeat dad'; likely a parent based on understanding of losing personal identity after having children; lives in a household that uses mental health care strategies"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and parent-child relationships, particularly involving abandonment or difficult parental situations", "Sibling relationships and conflicts within blended families", "Workplace harassment, HR violations, and employee rights including HIPAA protections", "Mental health management, therapy, and therapeutic strategies for families", "Cultural issues including language barriers, racism, and diversity in relationships", "Marital conflicts and relationship dynamics, especially involving controlling behavior", "Creative hobbies and personal expression including crocheting, makeup artistry, and cooking", "Legal consequences and accountability for harmful actions including fraud and identity theft", "Child welfare and protection of minors in difficult family situations", "Wedding planning conflicts and family boundary issues", "Professional culinary arts and respect for diverse cuisines", "Craft hobbies and yarn purchasing for crochet projects"], "values": ["Strong protection of vulnerable individuals, especially children: 'Charlie, as a minor is still your responsibility to protect'", "Belief that children will inevitably understand parental abandonment: 'There isn't really anyway around her knowing what kind of dad she has'", "Opposition to controlling behavior in relationships and support for personal autonomy in creative expression", "Advocacy for appropriate consequences matching severity of actions: 'THEY ruined your wedding but completely disregarding your wishes'", "Support for no contact or low contact with toxic family members: 'I think it's time to go NC with your mom again'", "Strong stance against discrimination: 'Guess what, your boyfriend is NOT a feminist'", "Belief in holding people accountable through legal means when necessary: 'Just file the police report'", "Value of mental health care and therapeutic interventions for family healing", "Support for women's autonomy and right to pursue hobbies without justification", "Belief that adults should face real-world consequences for harmful behavior toward family members", "Recognition that controlling partners often escalate their behavior over time", "Advocacy for clear boundaries and consequences in family relationships"], "communication": ["Uses personal anecdotes to support arguments: 'in my experience (as the kids of a deadbeat dad) that's not reality'", "Employs empathetic, conversational tone while providing direct advice", "Uses emphatic capitalization and punctuation for emphasis: 'WTF did I just read???' and 'He literally stole it'", "Provides structured, detailed advice with numbered points and clear organization when giving complex guidance", "Acknowledges limitations and defers to expertise: 'I'm happy to defer to someone with more experience on that point'", "Uses Reddit-specific abbreviations and terminology: 'NTA,' 'NC' (no contact), 'LC' (low contact)", "Quotes specific parts of original posts to address particular points directly", "Occasionally injects humor into serious discussions: 'where do I get some of these, I need some' about cute jars", "Varies response length significantly based on complexity, from brief 8-word clarifications to 300+ word detailed advice", "Uses conditional and suggestive language: 'I would,' 'I'd,' 'you need to,' 'my advice is this'", "Employs clear paragraph breaks and formatting for readability in longer responses", "Balances validation of feelings with practical action-oriented advice"], "statistics": ["Response length ranges from minimum 8 words to maximum approximately 350 words", "Average response length approximately 50-100 words with high variability", "Frequently uses 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) as judgment in AITA posts", "Common phrases include 'you need to,' 'I'm happy to,' 'I would,' and 'agree'", "Uses emphatic punctuation including multiple question marks and exclamation points for emphasis", "Structures longer responses with numbered lists, bullet points, or clear paragraph breaks", "Employs direct quotes from original posts to support arguments", "Uses capitalization strategically for emphasis on key words or phrases", "Frequently begins responses with agreement or judgment before elaborating", "Tends toward longer, more detailed responses when discussing family dynamics or giving advice about complex situations"]}
|
[{"content": "AITA for watching and not doing anything while my wife was being kicked out of my company?\n\nHear me out, just read the whole text.\n\n\nSo my wife, F (26) and I, M (33) been married for 2 years. I admit that she is a hothead and can be a bit much especially when shes mad at me. I take responsibility for any mistake j make like not cleaning the bathroom after the shower or filling her car with gas after using it. I even stand there and let her unload her anger and frustration on me BUT only at home and not in public. She tends to start arguing with me in public instead of waiting til we get home. \n\nRecently she's been coming to my workplace to berate me over something I did the night before like not getting the stuff I said I would get or doing the stuff I said I would do. It's embarrassing and humiliating,iating and has been affecting my job to the point where I started getting a warning after a warning from my superiors who, I believe have been very patient and understanding especially when my wife makes a fuss at the office.\n\n\nLast week I was in the middle of a 2hr meeting and next thing I knew was seeing my wife barge in while yelling at me asking why I was keeping my phone turned off (I had to turn it off after getting warnings about I since she forbid me from turning it off). I was stunned, because my superior and co workers AND potential clients were there. I didn't even move my superior dealt with it and called security to get her out. My wide started arguing with him telling him she came for me then started urging me to get off my seat and tell them to back off. But I didn't I just watched as security escorted her out. It was horrible because I had a fear that my job was lost. She yelled at me repeatedly to get them to stop but she got kicked out eventually. \n\nI got told she's no longer allowed there and that this was going to be my final, last warning. I apologized then went home. She was there waiting then yelled about me watching and doing nothing whole she was getting mistreated and kicked out. I finally snapped and said she was over the line, made a scene that risked my job over few missed calls. She started crying saying I still should've defended her after getting humiliated infront of my co workers but told her she didn't have to worry about it because she's no longer allowed there. She got more furious and went to her mom's to stay there.", "role": "throwra37736", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwra37736\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_naq2tzut\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1652878413.0, \"created_utc\": 1652878413.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"usc7y3\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_usc7y3\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 6216, \"num_crossposts\": 6, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/usc7y3/aita_for_watching_and_not_doing_anything_while_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25602, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"\\n\\n\\nHear me out, just read the whole text.\\n\\n\\nSo my wife, F (26) and I, M (33) been married for 2 years. I admit that she is a hothead and can be a bit much especially when shes mad at me. I take responsibility for any mistake j make like not cleaning the bathroom after the shower or filling her car with gas after using it. I even stand there and let her unload her anger and frustration on me BUT only at home and not in public. She tends to start arguing with me in public instead of waiting til we get home. \\n\\nRecently she's been coming to my workplace to berate me over something I did the night before like not getting the stuff I said I would get or doing the stuff I said I would do. It's embarrassing and humiliating,iating and has been affecting my job to the point where I started getting a warning after a warning from my superiors who, I believe have been very patient and understanding especially when my wife makes a fuss at the office.\\n\\n\\nLast week I was in the middle of a 2hr meeting and next thing I knew was seeing my wife barge in while yelling at me asking why I was keeping my phone turned off (I had to turn it off after getting warnings about I since she forbid me from turning it off). I was stunned, because my superior and co workers AND potential clients were there. I didn't even move my superior dealt with it and called security to get her out. My wide started arguing with him telling him she came for me then started urging me to get off my seat and tell them to back off. But I didn't I just watched as security escorted her out. It was horrible because I had a fear that my job was lost. She yelled at me repeatedly to get them to stop but she got kicked out eventually. \\n\\nI got told she's no longer allowed there and that this was going to be my final, last warning. I apologized then went home. She was there waiting then yelled about me watching and doing nothing whole she was getting mistreated and kicked out. I finally snapped and said she was over the line, made a scene that risked my job over few missed calls. She started crying saying I still should've defended her after getting humiliated infront of my co workers but told her she didn't have to worry about it because she's no longer allowed there. She got more furious and went to her mom's to stay there.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Hear me out, just read the whole text.</p>\\n\\n<p>So my wife, F (26) and I, M (33) been married for 2 years. I admit that she is a hothead and can be a bit much especially when shes mad at me. I take responsibility for any mistake j make like not cleaning the bathroom after the shower or filling her car with gas after using it. I even stand there and let her unload her anger and frustration on me BUT only at home and not in public. She tends to start arguing with me in public instead of waiting til we get home. </p>\\n\\n<p>Recently she's been coming to my workplace to berate me over something I did the night before like not getting the stuff I said I would get or doing the stuff I said I would do. It's embarrassing and humiliating,iating and has been affecting my job to the point where I started getting a warning after a warning from my superiors who, I believe have been very patient and understanding especially when my wife makes a fuss at the office.</p>\\n\\n<p>Last week I was in the middle of a 2hr meeting and next thing I knew was seeing my wife barge in while yelling at me asking why I was keeping my phone turned off (I had to turn it off after getting warnings about I since she forbid me from turning it off). I was stunned, because my superior and co workers AND potential clients were there. I didn't even move my superior dealt with it and called security to get her out. My wide started arguing with him telling him she came for me then started urging me to get off my seat and tell them to back off. But I didn't I just watched as security escorted her out. It was horrible because I had a fear that my job was lost. She yelled at me repeatedly to get them to stop but she got kicked out eventually. </p>\\n\\n<p>I got told she's no longer allowed there and that this was going to be my final, last warning. I apologized then went home. She was there waiting then yelled about me watching and doing nothing whole she was getting mistreated and kicked out. I finally snapped and said she was over the line, made a scene that risked my job over few missed calls. She started crying saying I still should've defended her after getting humiliated infront of my co workers but told her she didn't have to worry about it because she's no longer allowed there. She got more furious and went to her mom's to stay there.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_usc7y3\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for watching and not doing anything while my wife was being kicked out of my company?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25602, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/usc7y3/aita_for_watching_and_not_doing_anything_while_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "Your wife isn't a \"hot head,\" she's abusive. She's going to violate that ban and get you fired. You need to get out--these things only escalate.\n\nEdit: NTA x1000. Sorry I had to be reminded to vote!!", "role": "IAmHerdingCatz", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"IAmHerdingCatz\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#ab8c0e\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"fe8bfb56-f967-11e8-aad8-0e2a3f932fc0\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Colo-rectal Surgeon [43]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_b5t9b8tp\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Your wife isn't a \\\"hot head,\\\" she's abusive. She's going to violate that ban and get you fired. You need to get out--these things only escalate.\\n\\nEdit: NTA x1000. Sorry I had to be reminded to vote!!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Your wife isn't a "hot head," she's abusive. She's going to violate that ban and get you fired. You need to get out--these things only escalate.</p>\\n\\n<p>Edit: NTA x1000. Sorry I had to be reminded to vote!!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1652879024.0, \"created_utc\": 1652879024.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1652888723.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"i92hgvi\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_usc7y3\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_i92hgvi\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_usc7y3\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/usc7y3/aita_for_watching_and_not_doing_anything_while_my/i92hgvi/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 58258, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 58258, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "Honestly, I it was another company with different administration I would've definitely lost my job because of her.", "role": "throwra37736", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwra37736\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_naq2tzut\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"Honestly, I it was another company with different administration I would've definitely lost my job because of her.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>Honestly, I it was another company with different administration I would've definitely lost my job because of her.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, 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\"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 18888, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "ec4205ef5ddc57c4", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": null, "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": null, "author_flair_text": null, "author_flair_text_color": null, "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "e2494de425ca5806", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "The only way to save your job is go to your boss and tell him you\u2019ve come to realize your wife\u2019s behavior is abusive and you are leaving her and if she comes to the office she should be stopped at the front desk because she is not there with your permission. \n\nAnd then actually start the process of leaving her. \n\nBecause she WILL violate that ban and you will be fired. But Never mind that, leave because you don\u2019t deserve to be abused.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>The only way to save your job is go to your boss and tell him you\u2019ve come to realize your wife\u2019s behavior is abusive and you are leaving her and if she comes to the office she should be stopped at the front desk because she is not there with your permission. </p>\n\n<p>And then actually start the process of leaving her. </p>\n\n<p>Because she WILL violate that ban and you will be fired. But Never mind that, leave because you don\u2019t deserve to be abused.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1652887859.0, "created_utc": 1652887859.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "i931exg", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_usc7y3", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_i931exg", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_i92jh1r", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/usc7y3/aita_for_watching_and_not_doing_anything_while_my/i931exg/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 94, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 94, "user_reports": []}
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Right? Like this money would have gone to rent, food, clothes, so mom would have been able to save for retirement, education for OP, etc. That is why this was 100% ethical and correct and I am glad he did it.
Also- the dad? Needed to have CONSEQUENCES to being a shitty human being. This seems like a good consequence. He chose to be shitty, his wife chose to marry a shitty man, there are consequences to that.
|
hyowye
|
0d80b6f03807b452
| 1,595,860,831
| 3
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{"demographics": {"age group": "48-52 years old (explicitly states 'nearing 50 now')", "gender": "NA", "location": "United States (references US mortgage systems, credit practices, and recently purchased first home with xeriscaping suggesting arid climate region)", "occupation": "Professional/managerial role with hiring experience (mentions conducting interviews in 2009-2010, recently purchased first home, has knowledge of real estate and business)", "nationality": "NA", "other": "Child-free by choice, first-time homeowner as of the timestamp period, previously rented for 30 years, has experience in cosplay and related subcultures, estranged from extended family"}, "interests": ["Personal finance and wealth building (provides detailed advice on savings strategies: 'open a second bank account at a second institution, and have even $50 direct deposited there')", "Real estate and property investment (extensive knowledge shown: 'you need 1-2% of the value of the property in savings every year for maintenance')", "Toxic family dynamics and setting boundaries (shares personal experience: 'I made 3 decades ago with large chunks of my toxic family')", "Child-free lifestyle advocacy (states: 'My aunt...is the source of my child free (at least biological) choice')", "Workplace professionalism and interview practices (recounts: 'I had one of those back in the day (2009? 2010?)- mom came inside, sat in waiting room')", "Housing inequality and market dynamics (discusses: '12-15% of housing stock in hot markets sits empty')", "Cosplay and subculture communities (mentions: 'One reasons I tapped out of many of these subcultures that I enjoyed on some levels')", "Social media boundaries with family (explains: 'this is why family is not allowed on my FB with very rare exceptions')", "Foster care system and child welfare (passionate about: 'no child is in control of the circumstances that may have landed them in the foster care system')", "Climate change and environmental concerns (raises: 'with Climate change- what kind of world are we leaving kids?')", "Credit and debt management (advises: 'pay for things ONCE instead of over and over and over again using credit')", "Landscaping and home improvement valuation (notes: 'this one's landscaping was worth way more than the difference in cost')"], "values": ["Strong personal boundaries and independence (advises: 'you are probably going to have to choose between having a relationship with your family and your own mental health')", "Financial responsibility over lifestyle inflation (criticizes: 'We have been sold on immediate gratification, and having it all')", "Direct confrontation of toxic behavior (states: 'She could have taken down the content and never had it go this far- it was her slander than ruined her')", "Protecting vulnerable populations (emphasizes: 'They are children and still human. They deserve a loving home and care')", "Choosing 'logical family' over biological family (explains: 'you build yourself a LOGICAL family, instead of a toxic BIOLOGICAL one- and life is better')", "Self-sufficiency through sacrifice and planning (describes: 'Sacrificed and lived TIGHT for a few years back in 2008 to win in the long term')", "Calling out entitlement and manipulation (declares: 'What is WRONG with all these creepy moms pushing reproduction on their sons and their wives?')", "Rejecting societal pressure around parenthood (questions: 'Is that right? If they end up being part of the great extinction events that are likely?')", "Indifference as power over toxic people (advises: 'recall that the opposite of love is not hate- it is indifference')", "Practical problem-solving over victimhood (suggests: 'do NOT tell mommy about the interview...DRIVE to a park, park, and call in to the interview from there')", "Rejecting internalized misogyny (enthusiastically agrees: 'YES YES YES. HERE HERE' to post about liking both feminine and masculine things)", "Accountability for one's choices (notes: 'MIL chose to be a crazy asshat, and your presence is the privilege she looses by making that choice')"], "communication": ["Extensive use of personal anecdotes as teaching tools (shares: 'I paid it for 30 yr. Literally just bought my first home last month. And you know what I am learning')", "Frequent parenthetical asides for clarification or humor (uses: '(Personally have issues with paying more than $20 for jeans...its a mental block of mine- haha!)')", "Direct, sometimes blunt language without sugar-coating (calls out: 'asshole slum lords', 'idiots', 'crazy asshat', 'freaking nut job')", "Long-form responses with detailed explanations (writes 400+ word responses on financial advice and personal experiences)", "Capitalization for emphasis on key points (emphasizes: 'DO not engage', 'STFU when ASKED the 10th time', 'REALLY ugly')", "Informal punctuation and conversational tone (uses: 'haha!', 'Yup-', 'Ditto-', ':)', 'SO inevitably')", "Practical, actionable advice based on experience (instructs: 'open a second bank account at a second institution, and have even $50 direct deposited there')", "Self-deprecating humor mixed with serious points (jokes: 'Drive into a lake- it will improve the chances of success by comparison?')", "Frequent use of rhetorical questions (asks: 'Should we \"pray the stupid away\"? Can we get them all therapy?')", "References to going 'no contact' (NC) with toxic family members (mentions: 'going NC with crazy mommy because she will want to control every breath you take')", "Acknowledgment of nuance and grey areas (notes: 'So try to find and see the grey area of life')", "Validation followed by tough love approach (combines: 'I know horror stories' with 'you have to out-think our brains')"], "statistics": ["Response length varies dramatically from 5 words ('THIS. Because this is closer to the added value') to 400+ words (financial advice essay)", "Average response length approximately 100-150 words with detailed explanations", "Frequently uses phrases like 'NTA' (Not The Asshole), 'NC' (no contact), 'STFU', 'asshat', 'crazy'", "Common sentence starters: 'Yup-', 'Ditto-', 'Also-', 'And...', 'So...'", "Heavy use of ellipses (...) for trailing thoughts and emphasis", "Frequent use of parenthetical statements, often multiple per response", "Uses abbreviations and internet shorthand: 'pp' (people), 'yr' (year), 'OP' (original poster), 'FYI', 'ETA' (edited to add)", "Employs rhetorical questions for emphasis (average 1-3 per longer response)", "Mixes formal financial/professional terminology with casual slang", "Often includes personal age references and timeframes ('3 decades ago', '30 yr', 'back in the day')"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for suing my biological father for unpaid child support?\n\nI don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother. \n\nWhile I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.\n\nI've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about \"bastards wanting a payday\" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA?", "role": "NA", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"NA\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": null, \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": null, \"author_fullname\": null, \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": null, \"author_premium\": null, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1595841179.0, \"created_utc\": 1595841179.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 2, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"hyowye\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_hyowye\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1709, \"num_crossposts\": 3, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hyowye/aita_for_suing_my_biological_father_for_unpaid/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 26754, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother. \\n\\nWhile I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.\\n\\nI've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about \\\"bastards wanting a payday\\\" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA?\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother. </p>\\n\\n<p>While I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out.</p>\\n\\n<p>I've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about "bastards wanting a payday" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA?</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_hyowye\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for suing my biological father for unpaid child support?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 26754, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.95, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hyowye/aita_for_suing_my_biological_father_for_unpaid/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "The money _is_ technically yours. Literally the reason why people has to pay is to support the child (you). \n\nIt doesn\u2019t seem like he was ever in a bad financial position and he abandoned you. Financial support is the minimum. \n\nNTA.", "role": "blfsw34", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"blfsw34\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [3]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5nesasxq\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"The money _is_ technically yours. Literally the reason why people has to pay is to support the child (you). \\n\\nIt doesn\\u2019t seem like he was ever in a bad financial position and he abandoned you. Financial support is the minimum. \\n\\nNTA.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>The money <em>is</em> technically yours. Literally the reason why people has to pay is to support the child (you). </p>\\n\\n<p>It doesn\\u2019t seem like he was ever in a bad financial position and he abandoned you. Financial support is the minimum. </p>\\n\\n<p>NTA.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595841390.0, \"created_utc\": 1595841390.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"fzdz6pc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, 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\"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 36015, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "The money is technically, morally, and wonderfully hers, his paying of that sum is simply the consequence of him sidestepping his financial responsibility as a parent for years.\n\nIf any of your friends believe otherwise then they're not only pretty rubbish friends but also colossal morons.", "role": "Craftiest_Butcher", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Craftiest_Butcher\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [4]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_15x1g5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"The money is technically, morally, and wonderfully hers, his paying of that sum is simply the consequence of him sidestepping his financial responsibility as a parent for years.\\n\\nIf any of your friends believe otherwise then they're not only pretty rubbish friends but also colossal morons.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>The money is technically, morally, and wonderfully hers, his paying of that sum is simply the consequence of him sidestepping his financial responsibility as a parent for years.</p>\\n\\n<p>If any of your friends believe otherwise then they're not only pretty rubbish friends but also colossal morons.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1595850329.0, \"created_utc\": 1595850329.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, 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\"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hyowye/aita_for_suing_my_biological_father_for_unpaid/fze8cq3/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 111, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 111, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "0d80b6f03807b452", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#3b2921", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde", "author_flair_text": "Partassipant [1]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5826ae92739666c1", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "Right? Like this money would have gone to rent, food, clothes, so mom would have been able to save for retirement, education for OP, etc. That is why this was 100% ethical and correct and I am glad he did it. \n\nAlso- the dad? Needed to have CONSEQUENCES to being a shitty human being. This seems like a good consequence. He chose to be shitty, his wife chose to marry a shitty man, there are consequences to that.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>Right? Like this money would have gone to rent, food, clothes, so mom would have been able to save for retirement, education for OP, etc. That is why this was 100% ethical and correct and I am glad he did it. </p>\n\n<p>Also- the dad? Needed to have CONSEQUENCES to being a shitty human being. This seems like a good consequence. He chose to be shitty, his wife chose to marry a shitty man, there are consequences to that.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1595860831.0, "created_utc": 1595860831.0, "depth": 2, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "fzeotjb", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_hyowye", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_fzeotjb", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_fze8cq3", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hyowye/aita_for_suing_my_biological_father_for_unpaid/fzeotjb/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 21, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 21, "user_reports": []}
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> If she was truly sorry she would have written a letter or made a phone call expressing her remorse.
[...quoted text...]
And the post mentioned that she wants to offer financial support. No, she doesn't. If she wanted to offer financial support she would have offered it - either directly by calling or indirectly by sending a message or check with another family member.
What she has done is mentioned wanting to provide financial support to try and convince OP to attend this dinner. She doesn't want to financially support the kid, she wants leverage in this discussion.
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family dynamics and interpersonal conflicts, particularly in AITA contexts", "Parenting issues and child welfare concerns, showing strong reactions to neglect", "Relationship boundaries and power dynamics between partners", "Financial manipulation and inheritance disputes within families", "Workplace ethics and professional boundaries, including security clearances", "Gender roles and expectations in relationships and society", "Religious conflicts and their impact on family relationships", "Consequences of actions and holding people accountable for their behavior", "Childcare responsibilities and division of labor in households", "Manipulation tactics used by family members to control others", "LGBTQ+ rights balanced with practical safety considerations", "Legal and ethical implications of personal decisions"], "values": ["Strong emphasis on proper childcare and children's safety, stating 'She's not his parent, she shouldn't have to teach him not to pee on things!'", "Belief in personal accountability and facing consequences, noting people should 'face the music' for their actions", "Opposition to manipulation tactics, especially calling out 'She did not offer financial support...she put out a rumor about that to try and get them to show up'", "Support for clear boundaries and standing up for oneself against unreasonable demands", "Pragmatic approach to difficult situations, advising consideration of safety and well-being over idealism", "Recognition that adults should not neglect basic responsibilities, emphasizing 'Child care is not FREE TIME. Child care is work'", "Value of practical planning and backup plans, stating being a SAHM without backup 'is a plan like becoming a rock star or winning the lottery'", "Belief that forgiveness should not be weaponized or used as manipulation", "Support for professional ethics and security protocols, noting 'Security clearance is not a joke'", "Recognition that some behaviors are unforgivable, particularly cruelty during vulnerable moments", "Emphasis on reading situations carefully and catching details others miss", "Support for people making informed decisions about coming out and personal safety"], "communication": ["Frequently quotes previous comments and builds upon them, using format: quote + 'Right?' or 'Yes!' + additional insight", "Uses humor and sarcasm effectively, such as 'But it's a shiny pile of poo, that makes it sooooo much better!'", "Employs exclamation points liberally for emphasis and emotional impact", "Writes in clear, concise sentences that get directly to the point", "Uses rhetorical questions to highlight absurdities, like 'Hope you don't hit traffic!'", "Incorporates colloquial language and contractions naturally throughout responses", "Often catches details others miss, noting 'I reread it to see if she had gone through his actual wallet'", "Uses line breaks and formatting to structure responses clearly", "Employs phrases like 'Well, no, he didn't \"just\" anything' to correct or refine previous statements", "Balances agreement with additional perspective, showing nuanced thinking", "Uses irony to make points about unreasonable behavior or expectations", "Tends toward brief but impactful responses rather than lengthy explanations"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 40-60 words, with range from 10 words to 150 words", "Most frequent opening words: 'Right?', 'Yes!', 'And', 'I mean'", "Heavy use of exclamation points, appearing in nearly every response", "Frequent use of quoted text from previous comments to structure responses", "Common phrases include variations of 'that's ridiculous/sad/awful/creepy'", "Regular use of rhetorical questions to emphasize points", "Consistent use of contractions (doesn't, isn't, can't, won't)", "Sentence structure varies between short declarative statements and longer compound sentences", "Frequent use of ellipses (...) for emphasis or to indicate continuation of thought", "Regular employment of sarcasm and ironic statements to highlight absurdity"]}
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[{"content": "Aita for refusing to attend an apology dinner after my mother in law called me a bad mother at my son's funeral?\n\nI lost my son to congenital heart disease and he did not survive the open heart surgery at the age of 1 year and 6 months. He was the greatest blessing I had in my life. Everyone kept telling me things will get easier with time.\nI know that no matter how much time goes by I'll still be missing my baby and everything sweet about him.\nMother in law and I were in constant conflict. Things always been bad between us but in those months we reached our limit. She kept getting involved in my son's treatment., and criticized every decision I made claiming I didn't know how to handle my son's illness. We went low contact but she kept causing issues occasionally. My husband was torn between our son's illness and his mother's issues. \n\nWhen my son passed away she came to the funeral and caused a scene by arguing with me knowing I had no energy for it. She used the fact that everyone was there so she could say it was my fault my son was born sick and I didn't take care of him properly, that I didn't listen to her when suggested other ways to treat his condition. And That I was the one who took their grandchild away from them and caused them heartache. She then loudly called me a bad mother I had no idea how I kept my composure and kept standing on both feet. My mom and sisters responded by telling her to leave.\nmy husband was sitting down crying.\nShe then went to tell everyone I kicked her out as a way to hurt her further and lied that I convinced my husband to ban her from visiting her grandson's grave.\n\nMy husband later sent his side of family an email talking about my mother in law's behavior during and after our son's illness and telling them he no longer will be seeing her. That had the family criticizing us saying mother in law was just trying to do what was best for her grandbaby and called us selfish for assuming we're the only ones struggling with this tragedy.\n\nWe haven't seen his mom in 1 year and 8 months.\nI'm now 3 months pregnant. No one knew only my sister in law (brother in law's wife) but word got out. Though we told her not to say anything.\nWeek later I had family members saying I was invited to a dinner hosted by mother in law so she could both apologize in front of the whole family and settle this issue before the baby's born. They said mother in law was regretful, and offered to financially provide for her grandbaby and they want to see that.\nI refused\nBut My husband surprisingly wants me to go. I had his grandparents calling me telling me that I'm a person with a good heart and forgiveness's something I'm capable of giving. I told them I'll never be sitting at the same table with the person who called me a bad mother at my child's funeral. I still remember it vividly til this very day. My sisters said this change of heart from mother in law is probably for the new baby. It could be but I insisted I won't come. They're saying I'm making hard for everyone to move on and past this unreasolved pain and should really go.", "role": "Angle50976", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Angle50976\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_btcse2ae\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1619618699.0, \"created_utc\": 1619618699.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1619628684.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"n0fjhc\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 3177, \"num_crossposts\": 2, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 28402, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"\\n\\nI lost my son to congenital heart disease and he did not survive the open heart surgery at the age of 1 year and 6 months. He was the greatest blessing I had in my life. Everyone kept telling me things will get easier with time.\\nI know that no matter how much time goes by I'll still be missing my baby and everything sweet about him.\\nMother in law and I were in constant conflict. Things always been bad between us but in those months we reached our limit. She kept getting involved in my son's treatment., and criticized every decision I made claiming I didn't know how to handle my son's illness. We went low contact but she kept causing issues occasionally. My husband was torn between our son's illness and his mother's issues. \\n\\nWhen my son passed away she came to the funeral and caused a scene by arguing with me knowing I had no energy for it. She used the fact that everyone was there so she could say it was my fault my son was born sick and I didn't take care of him properly, that I didn't listen to her when suggested other ways to treat his condition. And That I was the one who took their grandchild away from them and caused them heartache. She then loudly called me a bad mother I had no idea how I kept my composure and kept standing on both feet. My mom and sisters responded by telling her to leave.\\nmy husband was sitting down crying.\\nShe then went to tell everyone I kicked her out as a way to hurt her further and lied that I convinced my husband to ban her from visiting her grandson's grave.\\n\\nMy husband later sent his side of family an email talking about my mother in law's behavior during and after our son's illness and telling them he no longer will be seeing her. That had the family criticizing us saying mother in law was just trying to do what was best for her grandbaby and called us selfish for assuming we're the only ones struggling with this tragedy.\\n\\nWe haven't seen his mom in 1 year and 8 months.\\nI'm now 3 months pregnant. No one knew only my sister in law (brother in law's wife) but word got out. Though we told her not to say anything.\\nWeek later I had family members saying I was invited to a dinner hosted by mother in law so she could both apologize in front of the whole family and settle this issue before the baby's born. They said mother in law was regretful, and offered to financially provide for her grandbaby and they want to see that.\\nI refused\\nBut My husband surprisingly wants me to go. I had his grandparents calling me telling me that I'm a person with a good heart and forgiveness's something I'm capable of giving. I told them I'll never be sitting at the same table with the person who called me a bad mother at my child's funeral. I still remember it vividly til this very day. My sisters said this change of heart from mother in law is probably for the new baby. It could be but I insisted I won't come. They're saying I'm making hard for everyone to move on and past this unreasolved pain and should really go.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I lost my son to congenital heart disease and he did not survive the open heart surgery at the age of 1 year and 6 months. He was the greatest blessing I had in my life. Everyone kept telling me things will get easier with time.\\nI know that no matter how much time goes by I'll still be missing my baby and everything sweet about him.\\nMother in law and I were in constant conflict. Things always been bad between us but in those months we reached our limit. She kept getting involved in my son's treatment., and criticized every decision I made claiming I didn't know how to handle my son's illness. We went low contact but she kept causing issues occasionally. My husband was torn between our son's illness and his mother's issues. </p>\\n\\n<p>When my son passed away she came to the funeral and caused a scene by arguing with me knowing I had no energy for it. She used the fact that everyone was there so she could say it was my fault my son was born sick and I didn't take care of him properly, that I didn't listen to her when suggested other ways to treat his condition. And That I was the one who took their grandchild away from them and caused them heartache. She then loudly called me a bad mother I had no idea how I kept my composure and kept standing on both feet. My mom and sisters responded by telling her to leave.\\nmy husband was sitting down crying.\\nShe then went to tell everyone I kicked her out as a way to hurt her further and lied that I convinced my husband to ban her from visiting her grandson's grave.</p>\\n\\n<p>My husband later sent his side of family an email talking about my mother in law's behavior during and after our son's illness and telling them he no longer will be seeing her. That had the family criticizing us saying mother in law was just trying to do what was best for her grandbaby and called us selfish for assuming we're the only ones struggling with this tragedy.</p>\\n\\n<p>We haven't seen his mom in 1 year and 8 months.\\nI'm now 3 months pregnant. No one knew only my sister in law (brother in law's wife) but word got out. Though we told her not to say anything.\\nWeek later I had family members saying I was invited to a dinner hosted by mother in law so she could both apologize in front of the whole family and settle this issue before the baby's born. They said mother in law was regretful, and offered to financially provide for her grandbaby and they want to see that.\\nI refused\\nBut My husband surprisingly wants me to go. I had his grandparents calling me telling me that I'm a person with a good heart and forgiveness's something I'm capable of giving. I told them I'll never be sitting at the same table with the person who called me a bad mother at my child's funeral. I still remember it vividly til this very day. My sisters said this change of heart from mother in law is probably for the new baby. It could be but I insisted I won't come. They're saying I'm making hard for everyone to move on and past this unreasolved pain and should really go.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"Aita for refusing to attend an apology dinner after my mother in law called me a bad mother at my son's funeral?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 28402, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.97, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}, {"content": "> My sisters said this change of heart from mother in law is probably for the new baby.\n[...quoted text...]\n\nIt absolutely is. She isn't sorry that she harassed stressed out parents who were trying to manage the healthcare of a gravely ill baby. She isn't sorry that she berated a grieving mother at that baby's funeral. She is sorry that the consequences of her abhorrent behavior have led to her being denied access to a grandchild. There is absolute proof of this, in the fact that she wasn't sorry until she learned a new baby is on it's way. \n\n\nSome things should not be forgiven, and frankly, her behavior falls into that category. You are NTA here, and should not compromise. The only thing that matters for the next six months are your health and stress levels, and both can be best managed by immediately removing from your life anyone insisting on renewing contact with someone who abused you. You should tell your husband that no means no, and he is not to bring this up again, it's not up for discussion. \n\n\nPlease also visit r/JUSTNOMIL for help in how to set these boundaries and stick to them, and for the support you may need in doing so.", "role": "Alert-Potato", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Alert-Potato\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#eeb800\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"edf63c82-a710-11e9-959b-0eb47b028ff2\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Craptain [179]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"dark\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_5ao01p2b\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"> My sisters said this change of heart from mother in law is probably for the new baby. \\n\\nIt absolutely is. She isn't sorry that she harassed stressed out parents who were trying to manage the healthcare of a gravely ill baby. She isn't sorry that she berated a grieving mother at that baby's funeral. She is sorry that the consequences of her abhorrent behavior have led to her being denied access to a grandchild. There is absolute proof of this, in the fact that she wasn't sorry until she learned a new baby is on it's way. \\n\\n\\nSome things should not be forgiven, and frankly, her behavior falls into that category. You are NTA here, and should not compromise. The only thing that matters for the next six months are your health and stress levels, and both can be best managed by immediately removing from your life anyone insisting on renewing contact with someone who abused you. You should tell your husband that no means no, and he is not to bring this up again, it's not up for discussion. \\n\\n\\nPlease also visit r/JUSTNOMIL for help in how to set these boundaries and stick to them, and for the support you may need in doing so.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><blockquote>\\n<p>My sisters said this change of heart from mother in law is probably for the new baby. </p>\\n</blockquote>\\n\\n<p>It absolutely is. She isn't sorry that she harassed stressed out parents who were trying to manage the healthcare of a gravely ill baby. She isn't sorry that she berated a grieving mother at that baby's funeral. She is sorry that the consequences of her abhorrent behavior have led to her being denied access to a grandchild. There is absolute proof of this, in the fact that she wasn't sorry until she learned a new baby is on it's way. </p>\\n\\n<p>Some things should not be forgiven, and frankly, her behavior falls into that category. You are NTA here, and should not compromise. The only thing that matters for the next six months are your health and stress levels, and both can be best managed by immediately removing from your life anyone insisting on renewing contact with someone who abused you. You should tell your husband that no means no, and he is not to bring this up again, it's not up for discussion. </p>\\n\\n<p>Please also visit <a href=\\\"/r/JUSTNOMIL\\\">r/JUSTNOMIL</a> for help in how to set these boundaries and stick to them, and for the support you may need in doing so.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1619620203.0, \"created_utc\": 1619620203.0, \"depth\": 0, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 1, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gw6c1p5\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gw6c1p5\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/gw6c1p5/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 7086, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 7086, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "First of all thank you taking the time to talk about my issue. I don't get enough people who can understand what I have been going through especially now during my pregnancy. Some people expect me to be thrilled with no excuse like my pregnancy supposed to erase or make up for my loss. It's the opposite. I worry too much over little issues and to some it's normal but I find myself stressing out all the time. I try to take it slow and continue with my therapy.\n\nI haven't directly talked to mother in law but I have talked to everyone in the family. They keep saying she's sincere and wants nothing more than for us to be able to move past this conflict. I truly don't feel okay with the idea of having to sit with her at a dinner table after all she's said and done. Nomatter what her purpose is I just...I'm completely against it. My grief is still raw and I'm not ready to see her, I don't think I'll ever be. It might sound awful but I'm not feeling I could give her what she wants.", "role": "Angle50976", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Angle50976\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_btcse2ae\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"First of all thank you taking the time to talk about my issue. I don't get enough people who can understand what I have been going through especially now during my pregnancy. Some people expect me to be thrilled with no excuse like my pregnancy supposed to erase or make up for my loss. It's the opposite. I worry too much over little issues and to some it's normal but I find myself stressing out all the time. I try to take it slow and continue with my therapy.\\n\\nI haven't directly talked to mother in law but I have talked to everyone in the family. They keep saying she's sincere and wants nothing more than for us to be able to move past this conflict. I truly don't feel okay with the idea of having to sit with her at a dinner table after all she's said and done. Nomatter what her purpose is I just...I'm completely against it. My grief is still raw and I'm not ready to see her, I don't think I'll ever be. It might sound awful but I'm not feeling I could give her what she wants.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>First of all thank you taking the time to talk about my issue. I don't get enough people who can understand what I have been going through especially now during my pregnancy. Some people expect me to be thrilled with no excuse like my pregnancy supposed to erase or make up for my loss. It's the opposite. I worry too much over little issues and to some it's normal but I find myself stressing out all the time. I try to take it slow and continue with my therapy.</p>\\n\\n<p>I haven't directly talked to mother in law but I have talked to everyone in the family. They keep saying she's sincere and wants nothing more than for us to be able to move past this conflict. I truly don't feel okay with the idea of having to sit with her at a dinner table after all she's said and done. Nomatter what her purpose is I just...I'm completely against it. My grief is still raw and I'm not ready to see her, I don't think I'll ever be. It might sound awful but I'm not feeling I could give her what she wants.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1619626222.0, \"created_utc\": 1619626222.0, \"depth\": 1, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gw6qa0i\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": true, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gw6qa0i\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gw6c1p5\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/gw6qa0i/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 4344, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 4344, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "If she were truly remorseful, she would have written you a letter. What is doing is telling everyone else that she is remorseful so that they can put pressure on you.\n\nThey are called flying monkeys. You need to ignore them. \n\nYou and hubby need counseling. He needs to understand that this pregnancy is already stressful and his mother is only making it worse.\n\nOh, and r/JUSTNOMIL has people in similar situations, they can help. They even have a reading list. They have helped me with my MIL and mother situation.\n\nAnd congrats on the squish!", "role": "ScarletteMayWest", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"ScarletteMayWest\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#3b2921\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"0f8d1b4a-f8a7-11e8-920b-0e93c922efde\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Partassipant [2]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_2kc4ss3c\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"If she were truly remorseful, she would have written you a letter. What is doing is telling everyone else that she is remorseful so that they can put pressure on you.\\n\\nThey are called flying monkeys. You need to ignore them. \\n\\nYou and hubby need counseling. He needs to understand that this pregnancy is already stressful and his mother is only making it worse.\\n\\nOh, and r/JUSTNOMIL has people in similar situations, they can help. They even have a reading list. They have helped me with my MIL and mother situation.\\n\\nAnd congrats on the squish!\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>If she were truly remorseful, she would have written you a letter. What is doing is telling everyone else that she is remorseful so that they can put pressure on you.</p>\\n\\n<p>They are called flying monkeys. You need to ignore them. </p>\\n\\n<p>You and hubby need counseling. He needs to understand that this pregnancy is already stressful and his mother is only making it worse.</p>\\n\\n<p>Oh, and <a href=\\\"/r/JUSTNOMIL\\\">r/JUSTNOMIL</a> has people in similar situations, they can help. They even have a reading list. They have helped me with my MIL and mother situation.</p>\\n\\n<p>And congrats on the squish!</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1619626707.0, \"created_utc\": 1619626707.0, \"depth\": 2, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gw6rfou\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gw6rfou\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gw6qa0i\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/gw6rfou/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 2620, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 2620, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}, {"content": "So much this. She wants a dinner, with an audience, so she can be a martyr. If she was truly sorry she would have written a letter or made a phone call expressing her remorse. Instead she wants to try and create a horde of flying monkeys to attack again, just as she did at the funeral. Maybe point that out to your husband OP. She once again wants an audience to her theatrics. A true, heartfelt apology requires only the offender and the person/s that were hurt.", "role": "Witchynana", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": true, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": null, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"Witchynana\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": \"#57411c\", \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": \"ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156\", \"author_flair_text\": \"Asshole Enthusiast [5]\", \"author_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_27rd99x7\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": \"So much this. She wants a dinner, with an audience, so she can be a martyr. If she was truly sorry she would have written a letter or made a phone call expressing her remorse. Instead she wants to try and create a horde of flying monkeys to attack again, just as she did at the funeral. Maybe point that out to your husband OP. She once again wants an audience to her theatrics. A true, heartfelt apology requires only the offender and the person/s that were hurt.\", \"body_html\": \"<div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>So much this. She wants a dinner, with an audience, so she can be a martyr. If she was truly sorry she would have written a letter or made a phone call expressing her remorse. Instead she wants to try and create a horde of flying monkeys to attack again, just as she did at the funeral. Maybe point that out to your husband OP. She once again wants an audience to her theatrics. A true, heartfelt apology requires only the offender and the person/s that were hurt.</p>\\n</div>\", \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": null, \"collapsed\": false, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": null, \"comment_sort\": null, \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": null, \"controversiality\": 0, \"created\": 1619630130.0, \"created_utc\": 1619630130.0, \"depth\": 3, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": null, \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 0.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": null, \"hide_score\": null, \"id\": \"gw6zq1p\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": null, \"is_crosspostable\": null, \"is_meta\": null, \"is_original_content\": null, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": null, \"is_robot_indexable\": null, \"is_self\": null, \"is_submitter\": false, \"is_video\": null, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": null, \"link_flair_css_class\": null, \"link_flair_richtext\": null, \"link_flair_template_id\": null, \"link_flair_text\": null, \"link_flair_text_color\": null, \"link_flair_type\": null, \"link_id\": \"t3_n0fjhc\", \"locked\": false, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": null, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t1_gw6zq1p\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": null, \"num_crossposts\": null, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": null, \"parent_id\": \"t1_gw6rfou\", \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/gw6zq1p/\", \"pinned\": null, \"pwls\": null, \"quarantine\": null, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 256, \"score_hidden\": false, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": null, \"selftext_html\": null, \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": null, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": null, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": null, \"thread_id\": null, \"thumbnail\": null, \"title\": null, \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 256, \"upvote_ratio\": null, \"url\": null, \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": null, \"wls\": null}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "cc2de794269aa29e", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#8f7312", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "db40139e-f967-11e8-b7d6-0e359a529158", "author_flair_text": "Certified Proctologist [24]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "60474a186de7944d", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "> If she was truly sorry she would have written a letter or made a phone call expressing her remorse. \n\nAnd the post mentioned that she wants to offer financial support. No, she doesn't. If she wanted to offer financial support she would have offered it - either directly by calling or indirectly by sending a message or check with another family member. \n\nWhat she has done is mentioned wanting to provide financial support to try and convince OP to attend this dinner. She doesn't want to financially support the kid, she wants leverage in this discussion.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><blockquote>\n<p>If she was truly sorry she would have written a letter or made a phone call expressing her remorse. </p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>And the post mentioned that she wants to offer financial support. No, she doesn't. If she wanted to offer financial support she would have offered it - either directly by calling or indirectly by sending a message or check with another family member. </p>\n\n<p>What she has done is mentioned wanting to provide financial support to try and convince OP to attend this dinner. She doesn't want to financially support the kid, she wants leverage in this discussion.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1619636424.0, "created_utc": 1619636424.0, "depth": 4, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "gw7et24", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_n0fjhc", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_gw7et24", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t1_gw6zq1p", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/n0fjhc/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_an_apology_dinner/gw7et24/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 70, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 70, "user_reports": []}
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NTA. You sure this guy isn't now your soon to be ex husband? He's lucky you let him in the room at after that nonsense.
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pqar3f
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9a94ca00416a7ca2
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{"demographics": {"age group": "NA", "gender": "NA", "location": "NA", "occupation": "NA", "nationality": "NA", "other": "NA"}, "interests": ["Family conflict resolution and interpersonal relationship dynamics, particularly in AITA subreddit contexts", "Wedding-related drama and conflicts between couples and their extended families", "Toxic in-law relationships and boundary violations in marriages", "Parenting conflicts and protecting children from harmful family members", "Pregnancy and childbirth situations, especially when partners fail to provide support", "Religious hypocrisy and image-conscious behavior in conservative families", "Consequences of manipulative and controlling behavior in family systems", "Golden child/scapegoat dynamics and favoritism in families", "Medical emergencies and dangerous 'pranks' that put people's health at risk", "Social media performativity versus genuine family relationships, as seen in 'grandmother of the year on facebook...but not in actuality'", "Personal autonomy and property rights in relationships, such as car ownership disputes", "DNA testing controversies and trust issues in marriages"], "values": ["Strong belief in personal boundaries and the right to enforce them, stating 'there would be no more visits for them if I were you'", "Emphasis on accountability with repeated use of 'actions have consequences' as a core principle", "Support for cutting off toxic family members who violate trust or cause harm", "Criticism of image-conscious behavior over genuine relationships, noting families 'all about image' who want 'perfect, happy family' appearances", "Advocacy for protecting children from harmful family dynamics and toxic relatives", "Belief that some actions are unforgivable, particularly betrayal and endangerment", "Support for individuals who stand up against manipulation and gaslighting", "Value placed on honesty and truth-telling over maintaining false family harmony", "Recognition that people who prioritize reputation over family deserve to face consequences", "Strong stance against dangerous behavior disguised as 'pranks,' calling them 'straight up dangerous'", "Belief in the importance of spousal support during vulnerable times like childbirth", "Advocacy for recognizing and addressing mental health issues like OCD, praising those who seek help"], "communication": ["Consistently begins responses with 'NTA' (Not The Asshole) judgment in AITA contexts", "Uses direct, concise language with responses typically ranging from 20-40 words", "Employs casual, conversational tone with colloquialisms like 'dude,' 'jerk,' 'sucks,' and 'frankly'", "Frequently makes predictions about future problems, such as 'What happens when you have kids?'", "Often suggests extreme solutions like ending relationships or cutting off contact completely", "Uses emphatic language and strong declarative statements like 'I'd run from this jerk'", "Incorporates rhetorical questions to emphasize points, asking 'You sure this guy isn't now your soon to be ex husband?'", "Employs sarcasm and pointed observations, noting 'Exactly - they want to be \"grandmother of the year!!!\" on facebook'", "Provides supportive encouragement to those making positive changes: 'Good on you for taking the first step'", "Uses ellipses for dramatic effect and to create conversational pauses", "Frequently identifies patterns of toxic behavior like 'golden child' and 'scapegoat' dynamics", "Makes sharp, critical assessments of wrongdoers' motivations and character"], "statistics": ["Average response length approximately 30-35 words, with range from 10 to 60 words", "Minimum response length around 10 words: 'Good on you for taking the first step and recognizing...'", "Maximum response length approximately 60 words in the dangerous pranks response about hiding inhalers", "Most frequent phrases include 'NTA,' 'cut off,' 'toxic,' 'consequences,' 'boundaries,' and 'red flag'", "Consistently uses imperative sentences giving direct advice like 'I'd tell him to...' and 'Keep up the good work'", "Frequently employs contractions (I'd, they're, you're, isn't) for casual tone", "Uses quotation marks frequently to highlight ironic or problematic language from original posts", "Sentence structure varies between short declarative statements and longer compound sentences with multiple clauses", "Often structures responses with initial judgment (NTA) followed by reasoning or advice", "Employs exclamation points for emphasis in approximately 30% of responses"]}
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[{"content": "AITA for telling my Inlaws exactly where my husband was when I was in labor?\n\nI gave birth to my son 10 weeks ago. I went through exhausting period while I was nearing my due date. I was experiencing discomfort and wanted my husband by my side when I go into labor but he'd go out every night to hang out at his friend's place and watch football games. I suggested that he play/watch games at home just in case but he was having none of it and said he had to attend game night at his brother& friend's place along with his buddies. He said they had certain... How can i describe it? \"rituals?\" when watching a game and he can't enjoy doing it at home or anywhere else.\n\nThe night of our son's birth my water broke while my husband was at his buddies place watching a game. I called him and told him to get home and take me to the hospital he said he was coming but he didn't. I ended up calling my sister (she lives nearby) and she took me to the hospital. My husband showed up 2hrs later after he kept calling asking if I was still in labor and that he was almost done watching the game.\n\nHe was able to make it on time for our son's birth but I was furious with him, mad and disappointed. He apologized profoundly and has been working on regaining my trust and respect for him after what he's done. He's otherwise very supportive and involved in our son's care.\n\nLast night I was at my in-laws house for dinner and we were talking about my son's birth date. My husband suddenly started \"recalling\" what happened that night and basically started lying about driving me to the hospital, waiting and feeling stressed out and standing on his feet for so long without food or even water. I was confused I said no! none of this was true, none of this happened in fact, he was watching a game when I went into labor and I wanted him to drive me to the hospital but didn't show up til 2 hours later. My mother in law who takes no shit from anybody and whom everyone *fears* lost it on him yelling asking him if that was true and he kept quiet. she started berating him left and right telling him to sit down and shut up when he stood up to argue then told him to stand up when he was sitting arguing. Everyone was laughing at how she basically treated him as if he was a boy in trouble. She kept saying \"Shame shame shame! on you, this is not how I raised my children to treat their wives, Jordan you are a disgrace and I'm disappointed because of what I heard about you\". He literally swallowed every bit of his mother's berating and didn't say anything til we got home where he went nuts saying I made him look neglectful, a bad husband and father by telling the family about where he was and said I shouldn't have said anything but I argued it wasn't okay for him to lie and play hero in front of his parents. He said I just caused a rift between him and family and asked if I was happy now.\n\naita? Should I have not said anything?\n\nEDIT to say that he's done similar things in the past since he's a major enthusiast of football and hockey but I didn't expect it to get to that. Also this is not our first baby together, we have a 4 year old son.", "role": "throwC5673325", "metadata": "{\"_additional_fetch_params\": null, \"_comments_by_id\": null, \"_fetched\": false, \"all_awardings\": [], \"allow_live_comments\": true, \"approved_at_utc\": null, \"approved_by\": null, \"archived\": true, \"associated_award\": null, \"author\": \"throwC5673325\", \"author_cakeday\": null, \"author_flair_background_color\": null, \"author_flair_css_class\": null, \"author_flair_richtext\": [], \"author_flair_template_id\": null, \"author_flair_text\": null, \"author_flair_text_color\": null, \"author_flair_type\": \"text\", \"author_fullname\": \"t2_elmsanv5\", \"author_is_blocked\": false, \"author_patreon_flair\": false, \"author_premium\": false, \"awarders\": [], \"banned_at_utc\": null, \"banned_by\": null, \"body\": null, \"body_html\": null, \"can_gild\": false, \"can_mod_post\": false, \"category\": null, \"clicked\": false, \"collapsed\": null, \"collapsed_because_crowd_control\": null, \"collapsed_reason\": null, \"collapsed_reason_code\": null, \"comment_limit\": 2048, \"comment_sort\": \"confidence\", \"comment_type\": null, \"content_categories\": null, \"contest_mode\": false, \"controversiality\": null, \"created\": 1631919359.0, \"created_utc\": 1631919359.0, \"depth\": null, \"discussion_type\": null, \"distinguished\": null, \"domain\": \"self.AmItheAsshole\", \"downs\": 0, \"edited\": 1631924640.0, \"gilded\": 0, \"gildings\": null, \"hidden\": false, \"hide_score\": false, \"id\": \"pqar3f\", \"is_created_from_ads_ui\": false, \"is_crosspostable\": false, \"is_meta\": false, \"is_original_content\": false, \"is_reddit_media_domain\": false, \"is_robot_indexable\": true, \"is_self\": true, \"is_submitter\": null, \"is_video\": false, \"likes\": null, \"link_flair_background_color\": \"#7193ff\", \"link_flair_css_class\": \"not\", \"link_flair_richtext\": [], \"link_flair_template_id\": \"35ab95ec-0b14-11e5-87b6-0efd95e46dfd\", \"link_flair_text\": \"Not the A-hole\", \"link_flair_text_color\": \"light\", \"link_flair_type\": \"text\", \"link_id\": null, \"locked\": true, \"media\": null, \"media_embed\": null, \"media_only\": false, \"mod_note\": null, \"mod_reason_by\": null, \"mod_reason_title\": null, \"mod_reports\": [], \"name\": \"t3_pqar3f\", \"no_follow\": false, \"num_comments\": 1303, \"num_crossposts\": 6, \"num_reports\": null, \"over_18\": false, \"parent_id\": null, \"permalink\": \"/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pqar3f/aita_for_telling_my_inlaws_exactly_where_my/\", \"pinned\": false, \"pwls\": 7, \"quarantine\": false, \"removal_reason\": null, \"removed_by\": null, \"removed_by_category\": null, \"report_reasons\": null, \"saved\": false, \"score\": 25782, \"score_hidden\": null, \"secure_media\": null, \"secure_media_embed\": null, \"selftext\": \"I gave birth to my son 10 weeks ago. I went through exhausting period while I was nearing my due date. I was experiencing discomfort and wanted my husband by my side when I go into labor but he'd go out every night to hang out at his friend's place and watch football games. I suggested that he play/watch games at home just in case but he was having none of it and said he had to attend game night at his brother& friend's place along with his buddies. He said they had certain... How can i describe it? \\\"rituals?\\\" when watching a game and he can't enjoy doing it at home or anywhere else.\\n\\nThe night of our son's birth my water broke while my husband was at his buddies place watching a game. I called him and told him to get home and take me to the hospital he said he was coming but he didn't. I ended up calling my sister (she lives nearby) and she took me to the hospital. My husband showed up 2hrs later after he kept calling asking if I was still in labor and that he was almost done watching the game.\\n\\nHe was able to make it on time for our son's birth but I was furious with him, mad and disappointed. He apologized profoundly and has been working on regaining my trust and respect for him after what he's done. He's otherwise very supportive and involved in our son's care.\\n\\nLast night I was at my in-laws house for dinner and we were talking about my son's birth date. My husband suddenly started \\\"recalling\\\" what happened that night and basically started lying about driving me to the hospital, waiting and feeling stressed out and standing on his feet for so long without food or even water. I was confused I said no! none of this was true, none of this happened in fact, he was watching a game when I went into labor and I wanted him to drive me to the hospital but didn't show up til 2 hours later. My mother in law who takes no shit from anybody and whom everyone *fears* lost it on him yelling asking him if that was true and he kept quiet. she started berating him left and right telling him to sit down and shut up when he stood up to argue then told him to stand up when he was sitting arguing. Everyone was laughing at how she basically treated him as if he was a boy in trouble. She kept saying \\\"Shame shame shame! on you, this is not how I raised my children to treat their wives, Jordan you are a disgrace and I'm disappointed because of what I heard about you\\\". He literally swallowed every bit of his mother's berating and didn't say anything til we got home where he went nuts saying I made him look neglectful, a bad husband and father by telling the family about where he was and said I shouldn't have said anything but I argued it wasn't okay for him to lie and play hero in front of his parents. He said I just caused a rift between him and family and asked if I was happy now.\\n\\naita? Should I have not said anything?\\n\\nEDIT to say that he's done similar things in the past since he's a major enthusiast of football and hockey but I didn't expect it to get to that. Also this is not our first baby together, we have a 4 year old son.\", \"selftext_html\": \"<!-- SC_OFF --><div class=\\\"md\\\"><p>I gave birth to my son 10 weeks ago. I went through exhausting period while I was nearing my due date. I was experiencing discomfort and wanted my husband by my side when I go into labor but he'd go out every night to hang out at his friend's place and watch football games. I suggested that he play/watch games at home just in case but he was having none of it and said he had to attend game night at his brother& friend's place along with his buddies. He said they had certain... How can i describe it? "rituals?" when watching a game and he can't enjoy doing it at home or anywhere else.</p>\\n\\n<p>The night of our son's birth my water broke while my husband was at his buddies place watching a game. I called him and told him to get home and take me to the hospital he said he was coming but he didn't. I ended up calling my sister (she lives nearby) and she took me to the hospital. My husband showed up 2hrs later after he kept calling asking if I was still in labor and that he was almost done watching the game.</p>\\n\\n<p>He was able to make it on time for our son's birth but I was furious with him, mad and disappointed. He apologized profoundly and has been working on regaining my trust and respect for him after what he's done. He's otherwise very supportive and involved in our son's care.</p>\\n\\n<p>Last night I was at my in-laws house for dinner and we were talking about my son's birth date. My husband suddenly started "recalling" what happened that night and basically started lying about driving me to the hospital, waiting and feeling stressed out and standing on his feet for so long without food or even water. I was confused I said no! none of this was true, none of this happened in fact, he was watching a game when I went into labor and I wanted him to drive me to the hospital but didn't show up til 2 hours later. My mother in law who takes no shit from anybody and whom everyone <em>fears</em> lost it on him yelling asking him if that was true and he kept quiet. she started berating him left and right telling him to sit down and shut up when he stood up to argue then told him to stand up when he was sitting arguing. Everyone was laughing at how she basically treated him as if he was a boy in trouble. She kept saying "Shame shame shame! on you, this is not how I raised my children to treat their wives, Jordan you are a disgrace and I'm disappointed because of what I heard about you". He literally swallowed every bit of his mother's berating and didn't say anything til we got home where he went nuts saying I made him look neglectful, a bad husband and father by telling the family about where he was and said I shouldn't have said anything but I argued it wasn't okay for him to lie and play hero in front of his parents. He said I just caused a rift between him and family and asked if I was happy now.</p>\\n\\n<p>aita? Should I have not said anything?</p>\\n\\n<p>EDIT to say that he's done similar things in the past since he's a major enthusiast of football and hockey but I didn't expect it to get to that. Also this is not our first baby together, we have a 4 year old son.</p>\\n</div><!-- SC_ON -->\", \"send_replies\": true, \"spoiler\": false, \"stickied\": false, \"subreddit\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_id\": \"t5_2xhvq\", \"subreddit_name_prefixed\": \"r/AmItheAsshole\", \"subreddit_subscribers\": 24049992, \"subreddit_type\": \"public\", \"suggested_sort\": \"top\", \"thread_id\": \"t3_pqar3f\", \"thumbnail\": \"\", \"title\": \"AITA for telling my Inlaws exactly where my husband was when I was in labor?\", \"top_awarded_type\": null, \"total_awards_received\": 0, \"treatment_tags\": [], \"unrepliable_reason\": null, \"ups\": 25782, \"upvote_ratio\": 0.96, \"url\": \"https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pqar3f/aita_for_telling_my_inlaws_exactly_where_my/\", \"user_reports\": [], \"view_count\": null, \"visited\": false, \"wls\": 7}"}]
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{"_fetched": true, "all_awardings": [], "approved_at_utc": null, "approved_by": null, "archived": true, "associated_award": null, "author": "9a94ca00416a7ca2", "author_cakeday": null, "author_flair_background_color": "#57411c", "author_flair_css_class": null, "author_flair_richtext": [], "author_flair_template_id": "ac96ddca-f967-11e8-9b44-0e5dff284156", "author_flair_text": "Asshole Enthusiast [5]", "author_flair_text_color": "light", "author_flair_type": "text", "author_fullname": "5b9d991b76deb90a", "author_is_blocked": false, "author_patreon_flair": false, "author_premium": false, "awarders": [], "banned_at_utc": null, "banned_by": null, "body": "NTA. You sure this guy isn't now your soon to be ex husband? He's lucky you let him in the room at after that nonsense.", "body_html": "<div class=\"md\"><p>NTA. You sure this guy isn't now your soon to be ex husband? He's lucky you let him in the room at after that nonsense.</p>\n</div>", "can_gild": false, "can_mod_post": false, "collapsed": false, "collapsed_because_crowd_control": null, "collapsed_reason": null, "collapsed_reason_code": null, "comment_type": null, "controversiality": 0, "created": 1631919830.0, "created_utc": 1631919830.0, "depth": 0, "distinguished": null, "downs": 0, "editable": null, "edited": 0.0, "gilded": 0, "gildings": null, "id": "hd9lq65", "is_submitter": false, "likes": null, "link_id": "t3_pqar3f", "locked": false, "mod_note": null, "mod_reason_by": null, "mod_reason_title": null, "mod_reports": [], "name": "t1_hd9lq65", "no_follow": false, "num_reports": null, "parent_id": "t3_pqar3f", "permalink": "/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pqar3f/aita_for_telling_my_inlaws_exactly_where_my/hd9lq65/", "removal_reason": null, "replies": [], "report_reasons": null, "saved": false, "score": 152, "score_hidden": false, "send_replies": true, "stickied": false, "subreddit": "AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_id": "t5_2xhvq", "subreddit_name_prefixed": "r/AmItheAsshole", "subreddit_type": "public", "top_awarded_type": null, "total_awards_received": 0, "treatment_tags": [], "unrepliable_reason": null, "ups": 152, "user_reports": []}
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