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Husband says to follow the stoic approach against MIL's tantrums. Will it help or he is just avoiding conflicts for himself?	Stoism says to approach things with temperance. It also says to do what is in your control and accept the rest. So there are many levels here. * You cannot control your MIL or how she feels about you * You can control your reaction to your MIL * You can make a plan to get out of there and have the patience to carry...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Husband says to follow the stoic approach against MIL's tantrums. Will it help or he is just avoiding conflicts for himself?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Stoism says to approach things with temperance. It also says to do what is in your control and accept ...
How to read stoic books	I second the suggestion from u/GD_WoTS : Adler's How to Read a Book is a great resource. Personally, my process isn't so consistent or formal, but often has many of the same steps. Here are some things I find helpful, in the order I might do them in, but I very rarely do every step for a book: 1. Look over the book...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to read stoic books" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I second the suggestion from u/GD_WoTS : Adler's How to Read a Book is a great resource. Personally, my process isn't so consistent or formal, but often has many of the same steps. Here are some thing...
Should I write the principles simply or rather let them have their original form and impact	I still think I'm new to stoicism and will always be practicing it, I had gad and mdd, abusive home and suicide attempts, when I found stoicism I was desperately wanting to get better and thought I'd give it a go, why not, I'm just a sick person who has been helped It's the mind training the mind which is always t...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Should I write the principles simply or rather let them have their original form and impact" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I still think I'm new to stoicism and will always be practicing it, I had gad and mdd, abusive home and suicide attempts, when I found...
Is Meditations not beginner friendly ?	As for whether it is "beginner friendly", yes and no. It is a collection of very short, mostly independent passages. There are two things to keep in mind: 1. These passages are not adequate to explain the major concepts and arguments behind Stoic thought, and some will be misunderstood without familiarity with such c...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Is Meditations not beginner friendly ?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "As for whether it is \"beginner friendly\", yes and no. It is a collection of very short, mostly independent passages. There are two things to keep in mind: 1. These passages are not ade...
Have i got it right?	Personally I would like to show you another way. The way I think about these is as follows: Whatever happens, I shall live according to nature. That means the outside world does not have the power to effect me in that way. Yes, I can be upset (because I am human) but it will pass and will not linger for long, because...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Have i got it right?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Personally I would like to show you another way. The way I think about these is as follows: Whatever happens, I shall live according to nature. That means the outside world does not have the power to effe...
How do i deal with a lack of free will?	You recognize you can’t “lack” something you don’t have. You don’t mourn not being given a million dollars because you don’t stake a claim on it, you just happened to identify with free will and now changed your mind. Look at what you’re making “free will” mean and you’ll see why you think you’ve lost. In articulatin...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How do i deal with a lack of free will?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "You recognize you can’t “lack” something you don’t have. You don’t mourn not being given a million dollars because you don’t stake a claim on it, you just happened to identify with free w...
Is it normal to regret a big choice?	This is a fantastic opportunity. You obviously had some thoughts and preferences which underly the rational behind this decision. Why not benefit from that experience. I suggest you start using a [Decision Journal](https://fs.blog/decision-journal/). A decision journal will help you better understand what goes into yo...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Is it normal to regret a big choice?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "This is a fantastic opportunity. You obviously had some thoughts and preferences which underly the rational behind this decision. Why not benefit from that experience. I suggest you start us...
How to deal with being stupid (26/m)	There are multiple types of intelligence e.g. maybe you have higher kinesthetic intelligence and would beat them in sports. Sometimes you've got to give as good as you get. So if they tease you, they'd be hypocrites if they were offended if you did back in kind. As the saying goes, if you can't handle the heat stay out...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to deal with being stupid (26/m)" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "There are multiple types of intelligence e.g. maybe you have higher kinesthetic intelligence and would beat them in sports. Sometimes you've got to give as good as you get. So if they tease ...
What religion aligns with stoicism?	Thanks for the link! I will look into it. My answer was based on a quote of Marcus Aurelius in Meditations Book I,17: "To the Gods, I owe it that I had good grandfathers and parents, a good sister, good teachers, good servants, good kinsmen, and friends, good almost all of them. I have to thank them that I never throu...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "What religion aligns with stoicism?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Thanks for the link! I will look into it. My answer was based on a quote of Marcus Aurelius in Meditations Book I,17: \"To the Gods, I owe it that I had good grandfathers and parents, a good...
How to deal with those who are racist.	I've been trying to sort this out myself. Not with racists, but other varieties of bigots. Alongside the passages where we are told not to tell people we are philosophers or try to teach Stoicism to those around us (unless they ask) are passages telling us to live our lives as examples of good living so people may noti...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to deal with those who are racist." }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I've been trying to sort this out myself. Not with racists, but other varieties of bigots. Alongside the passages where we are told not to tell people we are philosophers or try to teach S...
What is your opinion on this situation? Having dinner with a narcissist.	>one of the guest there is a narcissist. You had and currently have the judgment that this individual is a narcissist. Even a clinician would hesitate to make the claim after weeks of sessions where they voluntarily express their inner workings, maybe we ought to too. >He pays for peoples meals and generous with hi...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "What is your opinion on this situation? Having dinner with a narcissist." }, { "role": "assistant", "content": ">one of the guest there is a narcissist. You had and currently have the judgment that this individual is a narcissist. Even a clinician would hesitate t...
Does stoicism use positive thinking to successfully accept unconditionally?	The challenge you're facing is applying an answer key to problems you've not yet learned how to address. It's kind of like finding the schematics for a rocket online and wondering if you could then fly to the moon. Enchiridion was written as a kind of cheat-sheet for philosophy students who had already invested much ti...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Does stoicism use positive thinking to successfully accept unconditionally?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "The challenge you're facing is applying an answer key to problems you've not yet learned how to address. It's kind of like finding the schematics for a...
Is it okay to stop talking to your ex?	I stopped talking to an ex. We had an argument after we broke up, so I told them I wouldn't reply to anything else they sent me. Besides one (drunk) apology text a few months later, I haven't contacted them in 4 years. They tried, repeatedly, throughout lockdown and after to get in touch with me, but I didn't respond...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Is it okay to stop talking to your ex?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I stopped talking to an ex. We had an argument after we broke up, so I told them I wouldn't reply to anything else they sent me. Besides one (drunk) apology text a few months later, I ha...
Has Anyone Read Niobe Way's "Deep Secrets"?	> Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection > “Boys are emotionally illiterate and don’t want intimate friendships.” In this empirically grounded challenge to our stereotypes about boys and men, Niobe Way reveals the intense intimacy among teenage boys especially during early and middle adolesce...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Has Anyone Read Niobe Way's \"Deep Secrets\"?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "> Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection > “Boys are emotionally illiterate and don’t want intimate friendships.” In this empirically grounded challenge t...
Is it bad to want/desire? I just need some advice on how to see life	Not necessarily Stoic advice, but if you wake up every day dreading your life somethings gotta change, I like to think of myself as an escape artist, at 18 I escaped my dreaded life by taking a backpacking trip to Europe that lasted 5 yrs, then later in life I did the same ( I had a cushy boring banking job) and ende...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Is it bad to want/desire? I just need some advice on how to see life" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Not necessarily Stoic advice, but if you wake up every day dreading your life somethings gotta change, I like to think of myself as an escape artist, at 18 ...
How can I reflect people yelling or hurting me with words	I feel you! Although I don't struggle with racist insults, I also struggle with anger when someone calls me names. Words carry weight. Objective observation has already been mentioned by u/UncleJoshPDX >"You will rather think that we should not be angry with people's faults; for what shall we say of one wh...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How can I reflect people yelling or hurting me with words" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I feel you! Although I don't struggle with racist insults, I also struggle with anger when someone calls me names. Words carry weight. Objective observation has alread...
How do I deal with the fact that I am no one's priority?	I agree with u/MercifulCassowary and u/rose_reader. Your judgment isn't based on rationality and logic but on your judgment of what others might think of you. You feel that way (or you have this impression) and thus begin to believe it as true. But you can't know that for sure. Secondly, even if your judgment is true...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How do I deal with the fact that I am no one's priority?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I agree with u/MercifulCassowary and u/rose_reader. Your judgment isn't based on rationality and logic but on your judgment of what others might think of you. You feel th...
What does “accord with oneself” mean?	The judge…hmmm. Based on my understanding of what you wrote, I imagined myself as both the marble statue and the master sculptor. In which, nothing improper can escape the sculptor’s eye and everything proper cannot escape his admiration. The statue willingly submits to tinkering of the sculptor, spouting no complaints...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "What does “accord with oneself” mean?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "The judge…hmmm. Based on my understanding of what you wrote, I imagined myself as both the marble statue and the master sculptor. In which, nothing improper can escape the sculptor’s eye an...
I can't stop thinking of the fact that one day I am going to die and that my loved ones are since I started studying and reading philosophy. I'm sure this happens to all philosophers eventually, so I ask: How do I cope? What are the rhetoric around this? (R/askphilosophy is closed so came here)	Death is one of the 5 noble truths of the Buddha, and is also applicable here in Stoic philosophy and practice. As humans: 1. We are of the nature to become sick. 2. We are of the nature to grow old. 3. We are of the nature to die. 4. Everything and everyone we love is of the nature to change, and eventually, ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "I can't stop thinking of the fact that one day I am going to die and that my loved ones are since I started studying and reading philosophy. I'm sure this happens to all philosophers eventually, so I ask: How do I cope? What are the rhetoric around this? (R/askphilosophy is clo...
The theory of evolution before Darwin?	Of course, humans are apes, but the relevant taxonomic clade had not developed at that time. I suspect Marcus was speaking metaphorically here, but in any case the idea of evolution predates Marcus Aurelius even. For example, [Anaximander of Miletus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaximander#Origin_of_humankind) (c. ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "The theory of evolution before Darwin?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Of course, humans are apes, but the relevant taxonomic clade had not developed at that time. I suspect Marcus was speaking metaphorically here, but in any case the idea of evolution pred...
Should I get plastic surgery?	Hey, So I understand where you're coming from. I have bilateral symbrachydactly, born with no fingers (1 in 32,000 have one hand affected. I'm lucky enough to have both. :/) I understand the judgement, the insecurity and the desire to change how you are. I was also offered medical intervention in my 20s. I turned it...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Should I get plastic surgery?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Hey, So I understand where you're coming from. I have bilateral symbrachydactly, born with no fingers (1 in 32,000 have one hand affected. I'm lucky enough to have both. :/) I understand the judgem...
How to deal with guilt?	You don't need to be productive to be worthy. That's one of the main issues with capitalism, we value ourselves based on how productive we are. If you add the current social media and sharing culture, we then tend to compare our level of productivity and success all the time, which tend to make us feel guilty for not b...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to deal with guilt?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "You don't need to be productive to be worthy. That's one of the main issues with capitalism, we value ourselves based on how productive we are. If you add the current social media and sharing culture, we...
Is being materialistic a stoics way?	‘The acquisition of material riches, indeed, exercises a potent sway over the realms of our existence. As we navigate the complexities of society, the monetary dimension often asserts its dominance, shaping the course of our actions and aspirations. It is prudent to acknowledge this inherent reality and its impact on t...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Is being materialistic a stoics way?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "‘The acquisition of material riches, indeed, exercises a potent sway over the realms of our existence. As we navigate the complexities of society, the monetary dimension often asserts its do...
Where is the line between using Stoicism to cope with a difficult situation, and using it as an excuse to not speak up or make a change?	The key is to look at what the Stoics actually said: virtue is good. The conclusion that Stoicism encourages passivity arises from the assumption that the Stoics advocated indifference toward everything, but they did not advocate indifference toward virtue. Concluding that the Stoics advocated passivity based on thei...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Where is the line between using Stoicism to cope with a difficult situation, and using it as an excuse to not speak up or make a change?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "The key is to look at what the Stoics actually said: virtue is good. The conclusion that S...
Has anyone read this book?	Did you have a strong understanding of Stoicism before you picked the book up, or was that your first introduction into stoicism. Here is a great review of his book by Donald j Robertson https://donaldrobertson.name/2018/07/28/detailed-review-how-to-be-a-stoic-by-massimo-pigliucci/ From my limited knowledge of the...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Has anyone read this book?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Did you have a strong understanding of Stoicism before you picked the book up, or was that your first introduction into stoicism. Here is a great review of his book by Donald j Robertson https://d...
"Would you have a great empire? Rule over yourself"_Publilius Syrus	>Stoics believe that things like lust and anger are vices. Yes. >Stoicism has no use for anger whatsoever and lust doesn't allow us to think clearly. That's a hell of generalization. Back when I first read "How to make friends make friends and influence people", there was a part where Dale Carnegie talks about publi...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "\"Would you have a great empire? Rule over yourself\"_Publilius Syrus" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": ">Stoics believe that things like lust and anger are vices. Yes. >Stoicism has no use for anger whatsoever and lust doesn't allow us to think clearly. That...
How to stop feeling jealous?	Comparison is the thief of joy. What is better: to feel joy without things, or to be in anxiety over possession, reputation, or social position? Know, upon obtaining whatever great among the latter, it will not be enough until you accept whatever modest among the former. The mind will always reframe the points of compa...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to stop feeling jealous?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Comparison is the thief of joy. What is better: to feel joy without things, or to be in anxiety over possession, reputation, or social position? Know, upon obtaining whatever great among the latter,...
Here are the main ideas I’ve picked up from Stoicism - thoughts?	You asked for thoughts, and I have some to share. I'm going to break this list up into categories. The first list is the things I think you have got spot on, and I like the way you've articulated them. Short, sweet, and to the point. I really like the one about making peace with your past. Damn, that hits. >\[ \] Be ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Here are the main ideas I’ve picked up from Stoicism - thoughts?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "You asked for thoughts, and I have some to share. I'm going to break this list up into categories. The first list is the things I think you have got spot on, and ...
How to get over being annoyed at my housemate for demanding I drop everything to move a shoe?	Look at your judgments. It’s “uncalled for”, “too anal”, “not a huge deal”, this is the reason you are upset, your own expectations. There are certainly ways to bring up an old issue in a way to recruit their aid rather than blame. In reality I’d ask what is it you need to heard or want them to know and if there’s ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to get over being annoyed at my housemate for demanding I drop everything to move a shoe?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Look at your judgments. It’s “uncalled for”, “too anal”, “not a huge deal”, this is the reason you are upset, your own expectations. ...
How can I conquer this?	Marcus Aurelius said think of yourself as dead... now live your life accordingly. The stoics understood that living in the past causes depression and living in the future causes anxiety. Buddhist Pema Chodron said she could wish nothing greater for her readers than the death of hope. The underlying theme is what she ca...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How can I conquer this?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Marcus Aurelius said think of yourself as dead... now live your life accordingly. The stoics understood that living in the past causes depression and living in the future causes anxiety. Buddhist Pema Ch...
How to cope with loneliness?	What you describe does sound tough, but the comfort is that when you reach rock bottom then up is the way to go, and everything you do is an improvement As you realise, everything takes time. Read your Stoic materials esp. Discourses by Epictetus which is full of ancient wisdom. Read and digest, and apply to your ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How to cope with loneliness?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "What you describe does sound tough, but the comfort is that when you reach rock bottom then up is the way to go, and everything you do is an improvement As you realise, everything takes time. Rea...
What is the best book to learn about Stoicism?	I'm going through this kind of discovery at the moment. What seems to be the most famous stoic literature is Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, however I'm struggling to get into it for myself even with all the podcasts around that talk about them. But what I have gathered is that Seneca & Epictetus appear to be better rea...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "What is the best book to learn about Stoicism?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I'm going through this kind of discovery at the moment. What seems to be the most famous stoic literature is Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, however I'm struggling to get into it for...
How can I let go of things in a practical not philosophical sense?	You have valid reasons not to. We often ignore them for the “right answer” but that’s not how the mind works. The same way you can’t convince yourself day is night, you need to give yourself evidence you resonate with, not just understand. Can I ask what is it you are having trouble with specifically? It be weird t...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How can I let go of things in a practical not philosophical sense?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "You have valid reasons not to. We often ignore them for the “right answer” but that’s not how the mind works. The same way you can’t convince yourself day is ...
Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control, and let go of what we can't. But how does this actually work in real life?	Based on what you said it might be more precise to say Ryan Holiday teaches. The “dichotomy” is binary, you either have final say over it or you don’t. “Control” is using those things you have final say over on things you don’t. Give that it’s not a “technique” it’s a fact like gravity. You can actively direct your...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control, and let go of what we can't. But how does this actually work in real life?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "Based on what you said it might be more precise to say Ryan Holiday teaches. The “dichotomy” is b...
Is it stoic (or even healthy) to use trauma as motivation?	I saw an interview where "the Rock" said he remembers being kicked off their home island because someone in his family was arrested for drugs. He says he was the worst day of his life and he thinks about it every day; it makes him work as hard as possible because he never wants to feel like that or be in that situatio...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Is it stoic (or even healthy) to use trauma as motivation?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I saw an interview where \"the Rock\" said he remembers being kicked off their home island because someone in his family was arrested for drugs. He says he was the wor...
How does it work	My general culture/vocabulary is so bad that i was going to say , "holy shit , you really know your words" , when in fact this was Shakespeare which i don’t know anything of obviously since i said that my gc is bad , except maybe his name which is william and considering it as one of the "icons" that everyone talks abo...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "How does it work" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "My general culture/vocabulary is so bad that i was going to say , \"holy shit , you really know your words\" , when in fact this was Shakespeare which i don’t know anything of obviously since i said that my gc ...
Are there any bloggers here who write about Stoicism?	There are many. Some worth looking into are: - [Modern Stoicism/Stoicism Today](https://modernstoicism.com/) - [Traditional Stoicism](https://traditionalstoicism.com/) - [Donald Robertson's blog](https://donaldrobertson.name/stoic-blog-feed/) All of these tend toward being highly modernized and popularized rather tha...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Are there any bloggers here who write about Stoicism?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "There are many. Some worth looking into are: - [Modern Stoicism/Stoicism Today](https://modernstoicism.com/) - [Traditional Stoicism](https://traditionalstoicism.com/) - [D...
Positivity and stoicism?	> I guess by doom and gloom I mean something as tragic as "oh losing your job, a passing of a family member, a pet, a major freak accident etc" . i don't find it very possible to keep a positive outlook on events like this On one hand it's certainly fair to feel a sense of loss with a loved one; people have emotional ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Positivity and stoicism?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "> I guess by doom and gloom I mean something as tragic as \"oh losing your job, a passing of a family member, a pet, a major freak accident etc\" . i don't find it very possible to keep a positive outlo...
Why was Seneca Anti-Abs?	I think you and I have traded comments a number of times and I always appreciate your insights. I hear what you're saying. When I was in my early 20's I was devoted to the gym because I wanted to be "aesthetic" and would spend so much time obsessing over how I looked and then being vain about it once I was happy with ...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Why was Seneca Anti-Abs?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "I think you and I have traded comments a number of times and I always appreciate your insights. I hear what you're saying. When I was in my early 20's I was devoted to the gym because I wanted to be \"...
Arete and Stoicism?	This is very wrong, and looks like an example of chatgpt hallucinating. Arete is not a philosophy, but an important concept central importance to many ancient Greek philosophies, including Stoicism. Indeed, it is arguably the single most important concept in Stoicism (although phusis/nature is also a serious candidate...	[ { "role": "user", "content": "Arete and Stoicism?" }, { "role": "assistant", "content": "This is very wrong, and looks like an example of chatgpt hallucinating. Arete is not a philosophy, but an important concept central importance to many ancient Greek philosophies, including Stoicism. Indeed,...