reviewId int64 363k 588k | userId int64 33.9k 15.9M | itemId int64 1 1.42M | rating float64 1 10 | title stringlengths 1 10.9k ⌀ | content stringlengths 81 11.6k ⌀ |
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586,595 | 783,721 | 157,117 | 4 | Lame | Tokyo Eyes tells of a 17 year old Japanese girl who falls in like with a man being hunted by her big bro who is a cop . This lame flick is about 50 % filler and 50 % talk , talk , and more talk . You'll get to see the less than stellar cast of three as they talk on the bus , talk and play video games , talk and get a haircut , talk and walk and walk and talk , talk on cell phones , hang out and talk , etc . as you read subtitles waiting for something to happen . The thin wisp of a story is not sufficient to support a film with low end production value , a meager cast , and no action , no romance , no sex or nudity , no heavy drama . . . just incessant yadayadayada'ing . ( |
586,224 | 783,721 | 116,783 | 4 | Amateurish nonsense | Kissed takes on the daunting issue of necrophilia as it focuses on Sandra ( Parker ) , a necrophiliac who has sex with the dead people in the funeral home where she's employed . If whack job Sandra isn't enough on our plate , the neophytes behind this film serve up an even more whacked out head case in a med student love interest who has similar aberrant psychic proclivities . In an obvious effort to make the disgusting , illegal , and immoral practice of necrophilia ( which is never really shown ) palatable , the film goes off into a sort of transcendental lalaland where it's kinda / sorta okay to have sex with dead people as long as you respect them in the morning . The result is a bunch of hokum which is difficult to swallow and a cowardly , illusory attempt to illuminate a taboo subject . Combine that huge deficit with the film's obvious indieness and you have a movie which is probably not worth your while . ( |
585,814 | 783,721 | 209,475 | 4 | PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ! ! | The Wedding Planner is an amateurish and perfectly awful series of contrived situations in which Lopez looks awkward and is upstaged by the more beautiful , poorly cast Nicholson while McConaughey is just his usual one dimensional , zero-depth self . Nothing works in the flick from the stupid statue scene to the ridiculous tango scene to the terrible horse scene to the horrible Italian accents , etc . . . . one clumsy or rigged or sappy or obvious or sophomoric scene after another with lousy continuity and flow resulting in a more revolting than engaging watch . If you have to see this dog , wait for tv . It's bound to die a slow and agonizing death on the cable for years to come . |
586,746 | 783,721 | 277,705 | 4 | Boooooooooooooooring ! | Final tells of an institutionalized man ( Leary ) and his psychiatrist ( Davis ) who sort through his confused mental state only to find the aberrations are more outside his mind than in it . An unfortunate film with much unrealized potential , " Final " starts slow , builds slow , and then fizzles . What could have been a darkish psychodrama or a gleaming love story becomes , in the " Final " analysis , little more than excessive tedium in spite of the best efforts of two well cast actors . Recommended only as a last resort for the bored channel surfer or fans of the players . ( |
587,443 | 783,721 | 296,535 | 4 | Booray for Bollywood | Bollywood Bound will show you some East Indian young adult wanabees who want to make it in Bollywood films . You'll see them waiting around , being interviewed , walking and talking , eating a burger . . . . um , not much else . Pretty boring stuff . ( |
587,213 | 783,721 | 116,851 | 4 | Perfectly awful | Leila is so awful it's painful to watch . The DVD I rented had all the zits and dust of the original film . The video was contrasty and grainy as if the film was " pushed " for speed as most indoor scenes were poorly lighted like a really bad noir . The color was off , the English subtitles were poor translations and blurry , the sound was awful and the voices on the " other end " of the phone conversations sounded like they were standing next to the person on screen , etc . The story was simple and didn't have to be any more than 1 . 3 hours but the film ran for a boring almost two hours owing to dawdling and filler . The plot was a no brainer which is blown way beyond any common sense with characters who are so stupid they do things like have a " fast of speech " which seemed like a euphemism for " not talking because I'm upset " which , of course , would create relationship problems and does which is why it's factored into this stupid film . Etc . Etc . I could go on . Long story short , don't waste you time on this awful film . If you're into Iranian , there are many better flicks out there from Iran . ( D ) |
586,312 | 783,721 | 174,204 | 4 | Messy , clumsy , convoluted , and weak . | The film " Simpatico " tells its marginally interesting story through a succession of annoying flashbacks and unlikely present-day events . Character development is sufficient to make us realize that we don't much care about what happens to the characters and the drama unfolds like so much chaff from the cutting room floor pieced together in a futile attempt to whet audience interest . " Simpatico " is a poor showcase for some fine actors . |
586,193 | 783,721 | 101,478 | 4 | Lame little time waster | Blood and Concrete is a lame little low budget comedy about a small time hoodlum ( Zane ) who hooks up with a neurotic babe ( Beals ) and then learns they have something more in common than mutual admiration . . . specifically a drug called " Libido " . Playing out like something contrived by a bunch of drunken college students , this flick invents wacky characters and then has them pop up as necessary to sustain it as it dogs its way through its meager plot . Although the film does have a few funny moments and a hint of a creative edge , it is a sub-B flick which wears out early on and most will not find it worth the time . |
585,887 | 783,721 | 94,827 | 4 | Don't call me . I'll call you . | Call Me is all about Anna ( Charbonneau ) who is smart enough to be a NYC newspaper columnist but not smart enough to hang up on an obscene phone caller . A lame B-flick which smacks of indieness and amateurish autuersmanship features a mediocre performance by Charbonneau , Strathrain for a heartbeat , Buscemi in a bit part , poor production value , and a hokey script / screenplay . Just more flotsam bobbing on broadcast . ( |
585,847 | 783,721 | 90,925 | 4 | The usual broadcast tv miniseries stuff . | Dumbed-down and sanitized for commercial television , " The Deliberate Stranger " turns the sensational story of infamous serial killer Ted Bundy into a very ordinary miniseries . With a run time of 185 minutes , this flick makes for a very long and boring watch . Note - The version I watched on cable had no closed captioning . |
586,988 | 783,721 | 153,866 | 4 | Disappointing | I've been looking forward to watching " Wirey Spindell " since having happened across Schaffer's " Fall " . Unfortunately , I found " WS " to be a wandering , unengaging , boring bunch of claptrap pieced together with , what apparently is Schaeffer's signature , a mix of story , narration , and poetry . The film recounts the sexual and other experiences of a Manhattan man about to be married through self-narrated flashbacks . Like beads on a string , Schaffer apparently has strung together every little sexual life experience , while neglecting to tend to the beauty of the necklace . The result is a disjointed rambling story about a boy growing up which fails to engender empathy and leaves the viewer disconnected , unsatisfied , and with a bad after taste which taints the mechanical feel-good ending . A mediocre indie and a step backward for Schaeffer . |
587,147 | 783,721 | 218,043 | 5 | Wrestlers are people too . | Beyond the Mat takes a superficial behind-the-scenes look at professional wrestling with a disappointing conglomeration of the spectacle and the performers and few hard facts . The film gets schmaltzy over the big guys as it shows their human side which we could all pretty much guess anyway . . . the good and the bad . What it doesn't show is ring death stats , injury stats , CT scans and medical reports ( except for some knee x-rays ) , wrestling politics , corruption and payoffs , drug abuse ( except one bit on coke ) , insurance issues , contract fine print and exploitation , the ex-wrestler paraplegic or homeless person , sex with groupies , and all the stuff one would expect of an expose or investigative report . What we do learn is Blaustein really likes wrestling and it shows in his this one-sided perspective . Fodder for WWF fans and the like . ( C ) |
587,141 | 783,721 | 264,395 | 5 | Hoo-ah hooey | Basic tells a story about the investigation of murders during an Army jungle training exercise which uncovers layer upon layer of intrigue much of it via flashback . The film offers a good cast under the crop of a good director and manages to build some charisma in its cavalier DEA agent protag ( Travolta ) . That's the upside of this critically panned turkey which sinks into a mire of convoluted nonsense so messy you'll need Cliff notes to connect the dots . The downside is everything else from a story only a " grunt " could love to the absence of everything a " grunt " would like to see such as romance , fragfests , stunts galore , T & A / sex / nudity , and all those macho titillators which spackle the gaping plot holes in B-movie dramas . Passable and forgettable . ( |
585,596 | 783,721 | 126,220 | 5 | Earnest tv flick about an American who lived to die for Vietnam | Bright Shining Lie is a tv miniseries bio-docu-drama novel knock-off which tells of the exploits and adventures of an idealistic , single-minded maverick U . S . Army officer and curious mix of saint and sinner , John Paul Vann ( Paxton ) , who lived for the war which eventually killed him . An earnest journeyman production , this 70 % drama and 30 % action flick gives a reasonably realistic , non-exploitive overview of the messy Vietnam war , its futility and its failures . Worth a look for those interested in the history of the Vietnam war . |
586,827 | 783,721 | 368,913 | 5 | Saw it all on CNN . | Osama tells of a fatherless pubescent Afghan girl who has her hair cut so she can impersonate a boy and help her mother get around by acting as the male escort required by the oppressive Taliban regime . Like so many third world films , " Osama " is a slow moving and laconic film with low end production value which , when compared with major films of today , doesn't measure up . On the other hand , " Osama " is a good first outing and helps illuminate yet another wretched dark corner of the world for those who may have missed the many documentaries about Afghanistan of the past few years . Will play best with foreign film buffs . Keep expectations real . ( |
586,911 | 783,721 | 147,599 | 5 | An amusing journeyman gangster flick for channel surfers | Thick as Thieves follows a crafty professional thief ( Baldwin ) as he does a job , gets ripped off , and seeks retribution . The result involves cops , black and Italian mobs , and the thief all trying to resolve the situation in accordance with their respective agendas . A slightly above average watch , this journeyman gangster flick is all Hollywood light drama , mildly entertaining , more amusing than serious , and good fodder for channel surfers . |
586,602 | 783,721 | 126,261 | 5 | Brain fart | Desert Blue , the nickname of a central character , tells of a handful of young adults in a ramshackle desert town who have too much time and too little to do with it . The film is long on talent but so short on story one can only wonder how it ever got into production much less distribution . Slow , monotonous , boring , and dumb , " Desert Blue " is one of those B-flicks which one watches with detachment always cognizant of the fact the characters are actors going through the motions required for their paycheck . For fans only . ( C ) |
585,615 | 783,721 | 101,273 | 5 | Peculiar . . . . in a bad way . | Imagine dining at a four star restaurant with wonderful ambiance , service , linen and dinnerware ; great wine ; a superb salad ; and exquisite dessert but a totally botched and messy entree which you can't even identify . Well , that's " The Adjuster " . An excellent film technically and artistically but a mess of a story which leads to an unsatisfying and eventually boring watch . Peculiar for the sake of peculiar a good film does not make . |
587,617 | 783,721 | 126,240 | 5 | A big little chutney-flavored film . | Chutney Popcorn is a warmhearted , earnest , sincere story with a subtle sense-of-humor . With all the ear marks of a low budget independent film , this flick moves with serenity and honesty through the lives of some New York City dwellers including a surrogate mother , some Indian-Americans , some lesbians , and some others . Not for the mindless masses , this flick will play best with those who appreciate brave independent films . |
587,252 | 783,721 | 118,603 | 5 | Far from perfekt | American Perfekt is a lukewarm psychodrama which spends its run time on a four travelers of questionable character bound by circumstance and highway in an arid Nevada desert . A slow starter , the film requires a whole lot of faith to get into and a broad attention span to stick with . However , for viewers who can suspend disbelief at the drop of a body part , " American Perfekt " may prove captivating . An okay no-brainer now on cable . ( C ) |
587,261 | 783,721 | 316,653 | 5 | Long on style . Short on everything else . | Spider's Web tells a convoluted tale of deceit , murder , and other treachery with a woman exec ( Wuhrer ) who falls in love with the son ( Baldwin ) of the wealthy tycoon for whom she works and the sets about to embezzle $40 mil and abscond with the son . . . blaa , blaa . At issues is ; who's scamming who ? The film plays out like a paperback crime novel on film trading character depth and a solid story for some cheap sex and a showy veneer . Mediocre stuff best saved for cable which may be of some interest to fans of the principals or couch potatoes who can overlook the countless plotholes . ( C ) |
585,619 | 783,721 | 248,661 | 5 | A confused mess of a movie . | 3 a . m . shuttles between a half dozen characters having to do with a struggling NYC cab company and a diner frequented by some of the drivers during the reign of terror of a cabby killer . A confused and unsatisfying watch , " 3 a . m . " is a jambalaya of people and circumstances which , for the most part , are uninteresting , poorly developed , and lacking in cohesion . Pass on this one . |
586,493 | 783,721 | 321,442 | 5 | Lame | The Big Empty is not only the title of this movie , it's also an apt description of it . Telling of a struggling actor who runs an errand to a desert town in California for some paranormal weirdo only to become embroiled in a bunch of nonsense which goes no where , this lame comedy is packed with some quality acting talent from the B-list and little else . Cost cutting is evident everywhere and the novelty in this quirkfest's screenplay wears thin at the mid-point only to sink into oblivion as the end draws near . Not worth the price of a DVD rental this darkish comedy with sci-fi overtones is best saved for broadcast where it will be in the company of its kindred . ( C ) |
586,616 | 783,721 | 281,718 | 5 | Loses something in the translation | ' Friend " is a very Korean film about four best friend boys who grow up in Pusan ( circa 1970ish ) but take different paths through life . An artistically and technically good treatment of an old theme , this film is a slow moving drama which buries itself in typically Asian melodramatic style in angst and woe over issues of loyalty , friendship , betrayal , honor , etc . " Friend " eventually becomes a bit of a mess spending too much time on long shots during which we're supposed to relish in the sentiment of the moment while dedicating too little time to explaining exactly what these gangster guys do beside talking tough and trying to look cool . One gets the impression being a gangster in South Korea is quite like any other occupation and there are probably ads for gangsters in the career ops section of the local newspaper . This film is made for and was a big hit with Korean audiences . It does not , however , make it well across the East / West divide . A subtitled watch for young adult males into Eastern films . ( |
587,473 | 783,721 | 118,553 | 5 | Okay action B-flick with some personality | Acts of Betrayal , a typical B action flick , tells of a macho FBI agent ( McColm ) who spends the entire film killing bad guys as he protects a federal witness ( Alonso ) from a small army of hitmen . The film has little going for it but does manage some par or better firefights and a kinda-sorta fun relationship between the stalwart and silent agent and the always jabbering , ever sassy Alonso character . For action junkies only . |
586,903 | 783,721 | 321,416 | 5 | A mediocre history lesson | Benedict Arnold is a typical made-for-tv historical melodrama about a small portion of the life of the American Revolutionary War General whose name has become synonymous with " traitor " . This A & E production takes a squinty look at the man's life , showing only the most historically significant portions which flank his defection to the British loyalists . The film shows spit and polish costuming where no such luxury was available while portraying Arnold as a man of poetic eloquence when he was more well known to be profane if not drunk or both . Etc . Etc . Melodramatic for entertainment value while taking liberties with history and providing only a piecemeal bio of the man , this film is marginal at best . Better entertainment is easy to find and there's plenty of solid historical info on B . A . right here on the Internet . ( |
587,043 | 783,721 | 268,696 | 5 | Good but over touted | Time of Favor seems to be an earnest attempt to tell a somewhat mundane tale , as films go , of a religious military man who has to weigh matters of faith with conscience , love with duty , sacrifice with fulfillment , etc . - nothing particularly new . The film comes off like a low budget indie with obvious cost cutting throughout and muddles the core issues with too much busy work . Somewhat esoteric , Israelis would better empathize with the circumstances and probably glean more from the cultural subtleties . A gentile who's never been to Israel , I found the film to be marginally interesting , minimally entertaining , and anticlimactic . ( C ) Note - The cover of the DVD I rented bore a quote from the Village Voice calling this film " exotic " . . . " erotic " . . . . " highly atmospheric " . I wonder if they saw the same movie . The one I watched was only exotic because it was a foreign film from Israel , had no sex ( one kiss ) , and the atmospherics were ordinary at best . Moral - beware the box cover B . S . |
587,522 | 783,721 | 118,783 | 5 | Over done | A Brother's Kiss tells of two brothers who grow up in the mean streets of NYC and take opposite paths through life still bound by brotherly love through thick and thin . A strong performance by Chinlund ( one of those where - have - I - seen - that - guy - before actors ) is the glue which holds this overwrought freak show of cliche stereotypical characters together . The film serves up 20 minutes of the bro's as kids and then skips ahead to adult life where we see one as a cop and the other as a good intentioned loser with a habit . " . . . Kiss " sports a good cast and crew but doesn't live up to its potential because of a story we've all seen before and poor direction leading to overwrought drama . Every scene plays out like an excuse for exaggerated characters and over acting making this film a good example of that most common of all faults of the novice artist - not knowing when to quit . " Real " would have been better and less would have been more . ( |
586,648 | 783,721 | 175,877 | 5 | An action / comedy no-brainer for audiences with no brains . | Made Men is the kind of flick where the shoot-outs expend more ammunition than the shooters could carry . It's the kind of flick where an auto gas tank explodes like a case of dynamite , not 10 gallons of gasoline . It's the kind of flick where a Brit plays a red-neck sheriff with both accents prevalent in his speech . It's the kind of flick where a guy pulls a gun which hasn't been fired and there's smoke coming from the muzzle . It's the kind of flick you'll want to miss unless you're 14 and male . |
585,845 | 783,721 | 118,760 | 5 | More dismal , dreary stuff about Ireland | The Boxer tells of a man ( Day-Lewis ) who returns to Belfast following a 14 year prison sentence for IRA misdeeds and sets about opening a community boxing gym while renewing an acquaintance with the woman he loved before being sent to prison . The film offers solid performances in a doggedly plodding and somewhat unsatisfying story which lacks cohesion and seems to come off like just more woebegone sniveling over the age old Irish rift . A good watch for those with the stomach for yet another flick about people caught up in Irish issues . |
587,452 | 783,721 | 260,320 | 5 | Repli-this ! | In " Repli-Kate " , a college microbiologist clones a beautiful woman , takes her home , and teaches her to be the stereotypical male's ideal : A woman who is a slob , chugs brewskis , burps , curses , gobbles pizza like a pig , wants sex all the time , etc . A surprisingly enjoyable but unsophisticated little comedy romp with babe-alicious Landry as both the clone and the clonee , " Repli-Kate " will likely appeal most to the college crowd . ( |
585,688 | 783,721 | 160,574 | 5 | A fun flick about honesty and the dating game . | Nice Guys . . . tells of a 30-something male school teacher who is frustrated with dating because he follows the rules and always strikes out . Well , almost always . This little " sleeper " offers a fresh , honest , and amusing look at the foibles of first dates , doesn't try to out do itself , and knows when to quit . No blockbuster but an enjoyable watch worth renting . |
586,054 | 783,721 | 191,397 | 5 | Scores a touchdown but no extra points . | The Replacements are a motley bunch of misfits and pro-football scabs who manage to create some funny moments on and off the grid-iron . Hackman is always good and Reeves works in his not too challenging center stage role . The film treads with minimal success into romance , can't quite conjure up the goose bumps the climax aims for , and doesn't work in the philosophical with it's clichés about winners and losers . However , the comedy does work in a big way on the field . A fun watch for football fans . |
587,621 | 783,721 | 122,529 | 5 | A pretentious , pseudointellectual mediocre indie . | Henry Fool tells of a stoic young garbage man who is encouraged to write poetry by a transient dilettante , Henry Fool . The story has little substance and , with the exception of the principals , is cluttered with sundry characters who serve no useful purpose and whom were not made to care about anyway . The plot is simpleminded and the story not particularly entertaining . There are no underlying morals of any significance and the end is a meaningless truncation . There is little art value in the film which pretentiously takes itself much too seriously . Watching this flick is like waiting for the other shoe to drop for 2 . 5 hours only to find out it was a one legged film . I'm not sure who would appreciate this flick . College students or indie freaks maybe . |
586,679 | 783,721 | 118,668 | 5 | Would you like a little testosterone with your popcorn ? | Back in Business tells of a ex-cop who teams up with his ex-partner to make a drug bust and . . . well , fix everything else which is wrong with his little corner of the world . A marginal action flick at best , " BinB " has very ordinary stunts and action sequences replete with all the usual machine gun wielding heavies ; a sexless love relationship between the hero and delicious Dara ; and lots of fun macho banter between Bosworth and his partner . If the film has anything at all going for it , it's the sort of dumb charm of square jawed and ruggedly handsome Bosworth's character who is trying to get in touch with his feminine side and control his anger with the help of his talk-radio psychotherapist while clumsily stumbling into the action spotlight and settling old scores . An okay no brainer for action junkies only . |
586,771 | 783,721 | 277,371 | 5 | Could have been better . | Not Just Another Teen Movie is another in a string of slampoons which takes on the teen romantic comedy genre with a kaleidoscope of characters , situations , and scenes borrowed from a host of past teen flicks . A raunchy , vulgar , irreverent morass of exaggerations which tries to maintain story continuity , this flick has its moments but burns out prematurely lacking the creative fuel to keep the laughs coming . An okay watch for those into grosser than gross humor but a turn-off for all others . |
585,832 | 783,721 | 299,163 | 5 | Sitcom quality full length feature | On cable as " Strange Relations " , this romantic comedy with light drama tells of an adopted well to do NYC psychiatrist ( Reiser ) with cancer who goes to the UK in search of his birth mother and marrow doners and gets more than he expected . Reiser delivers a marginal sitcom level performance at the center of this flick while being upstaged by the more talented host of costars who give much better performances even though their characters have obviously been tweaked for quirkiness . " Strange Relations " manages some humor , some fabricated poignant moments , and some fluff . . . . did we really need a guided tour of Liverpool complete with yellow submarine ? ? Passable stuff for hardcore cinema aficionados but okay fodder for sitcom junkies . |
585,955 | 783,721 | 338,325 | 5 | Pooparazzi | Paparazzi tells of a rising action movie star who suddenly becomes aware of guys which cameras who chase him around because he's a celeb . They chase him in cars so he has to drive like a maniac and then stop in the middle of an intersection and almost gets killed . ( Sound familiar ? ) They are , in fact , so evil they will stop at nothing to get their photos thereby forcing our hero , who just can't seem to figure out how to live with the paparazzi , to start off'ing them one by one to buy himself and his family some peace of mind . Make sense ? Kill photographers so you can have peace of mind , right ? This unfortunate waste of time was seriously slammed by the critics and not very well received by the public at large . A B-flick at best , " Paparazzi " is one to pass by or save for a free TV watch . ( C ) |
586,234 | 783,721 | 113,149 | 5 | A silly French sitcom with a whole lot of subtitles . | French Twist is a mildly humorous situational comedy about an attractive women , wife , and mother who is married to a womanizer who becomes outraged when his wife falls in with a dyke . From there , the story turns into a series of who-has-the-upper-sexual-hand situations . The film , with more flaws than favors , is dialogue-intensive and probably not worth all the subtitle reading for those who don't speak French . |
587,244 | 783,721 | 160,498 | 5 | A journeyman chick-flick with a Latin heart and flavor . | Luminarias tells of four middle-aged , middle class Latina best friends , Mexican-American women , who meet at the title restaurant in L . A . periodically for conversation . Andrea ( Frenandez ) , a lawyer , is the centerpiece of this slice-of-latin-life flick and also the playwright . A mediocre film as films go , " Luminarias " deals with issues of family , ethnicity , romance , and more as it wanders around the genres from sitcom-like comedy to more serious drama , uncertain of its purpose but unabashedly delivering heartfelt entertainment regardless . Should appeal most to Mex-Am females . CNote - If we can trust the IMDB . com stats , this is a real love it or hate it flick with over scoring it a 1 and over giving it a 10 and everyone else scattered in between . |
586,777 | 783,721 | 95,388 | 5 | Precious little " docu " in this docudrama | It would seem that the creators of " Jack the Ripper 1988 " decided to capitalize on the enduring " Ripper " mystery , build a miniseries very loosely around some of the " Ripper " case facts , introduce their own characters and facts so as to make the protracted 3 . 5 hour watch endurable , and then peddled it to the public on commercial television with the usual musical crescendo , cliff-hanger punchline , and fade-to-black every 15 minutes or so . The result is a tedious , staged , theatrical , and not particularly interesting or entertaining film which has much less to do with " Jack the Ripper " history than it does with trying to make a buck off the small screeners . Only for those into " Ripper " stuff who are up for a long watch . |
585,790 | 783,721 | 245,171 | 5 | Tedium ad nauseam | Invincible slogs through a 2 hour fable-of-sorts as it tells of a rural Jewish blacksmith ( Ahola ) who takes up with a theater troupe as a strongman and finds himself embroiled in a variety of Nazi-Jew issues ( Circa 1932 ) . There's little to recommend in this theatrical , obvious , and poorly assembled film save a nice try by Roth as a mercurial clairvoyant which fails because he's surrounded by such travesty . Ahola's performance is petrified wooden and the film doesn't manage to conjure any kind of emotion or intrigue as it yada-yada-yadas it way tediously though a slew of nonsense including dream sequences , a romance which never materializes , time wasting musical productions , etc . Recommended only for the most serious Herzog fans . Yuck . ( C ) |
586,079 | 783,721 | 256,089 | 5 | Subpar cop show | Ihaka : Blunt Instrument is all about Ihaka ( Morrison ) , a New Zealand no nonsense macho Maori cop with a penchant for taking matters into his own hands and solving problems with his fists . In this installment he his shipped off to Australia where he teams up with a beautiful desk jockey cop ( Gibney ) and together they go off to solve a murder . A banal , mediocre effort , this film suffers from stiff performances from the two leads , a sophomoric script , an unimaginative storyline , and more . What the minds behind the film wanted is obvious but what they deliver is a second rate waste of acting talent . Recommended for Aussies , Kiwi's , Maori's , and others with an interest in the regional TV fare . ( C ) Note - Morrison's powerful performance in " Once Were Warriors " is evidence of potential which is wasted in " Ihaka " . |
587,367 | 783,721 | 167,116 | 5 | Another cops vs hitman ho-hummer | Desert Saints is an oddly titled and obviously contrived journeyman drama which tells the tale of a hit man ( Sutherland ) and a female accomplice of questionable allegiance ( Walters ) . The film has all the ear marks of a low budget tv-direct flick with the usual plot holes , staginess , and obvious scripting . Don't expect much action , pyrotechnics , chases , firefights , stunts , sex , nudity , romance from this mediocre drama with an awful ending . An okay watch for the hard up couch potato but little more . |
585,980 | 783,721 | 141,098 | 5 | Ordinary unimaginative fluff from an over worked genre . | The makers of " Forces of Nature " wisely cast Affleck and Bullock in roles which don't require acting and then kept the spotlight on them so they wouldn't be upstaged by a supporting cast with some talent . This ho-hummer is just another mediocre romantic comedy which may have a few moments for die-hard couch potatoes who are easily entertained . |
586,733 | 783,721 | 209,958 | 5 | A colossal mess of a movie . | The up side of " The Cell " is good casting , special effects , acting , etc . The downside of this masterpiece of surreal cinematic junk food is the story which is no more than another trite serial killer drama with a sci-fi twist which comes off like an excuse , not a reason , for special effects . The film may find a market among viewers who can get past the ridiculous premise and plot . Others will regard this as another sad waste of excellent talent on a flick which is a schizophrenic as it's villain . |
587,164 | 783,721 | 233,142 | 5 | What a waste . | 3000 Miles to Graceland is a testosterone drenched junk flick with story which doesn't work , numbing excesses of mindless action , and a huge waste of star power and budget bucks . Deserving of the numerous Razzie nominations it garnered , this is one for the dumpster . Nuff said . |
585,727 | 783,721 | 210,065 | 5 | A shallow time wasting wannabe | Gangster No . 1 , a B-movie quality Brit crime flick , spends its first boring hour telling of the rise of a street punk to top mob boss ( Bettnay / McDowell ) before anything interesting happens . Then is suddenly goes into a frenetic mess of infantile nonsense in the guise of drama with dumb effects and overacting to balance its lack of substance before finally burning itself out . The story in shallow and full of holes , the characters aren't even remotely interesting , and the auteur gives us no reason to care . Passable junk with the usual Britflick washed out color and low budget feel not worth the time for other than crime flick junkies . ( C ) |
587,247 | 783,721 | 290,795 | 5 | For maximum enjoyment , turn off brain before viewing | Flawed on all levels , " One Way Out " plays out with the look and feel of a low budget t . v . drama . Belushi is at the center as a homicide detective with gambling debts who finds himself on the wrong end of a murder investigation . With pervasive mediocrity , the tortuous plot is the only reason to spend time with this flick and it is so full of plot holes as to require a sort of viewer numbness to be all it can be which little more than is a nice little time waster . For couch potatoes only . |
585,775 | 783,721 | 95,274 | 5 | A waste of time | A Handful of Dust is a period film ( circa 1935 approx ) which tells of a woman ( K Scott Thomas ) who becomes restless rattling around in a huge English mansion with her family and servants and decides to take a flat in London for he purposes of a liaison with a handsome young man of dubious character . Her affair results in an upheaval which sees her husband going off on an Amazon expedition while she stays and frets about her divorce settlement . The film doesn't end so much as it just quits with many dangling loose ends . There are no highs or lows of emotions in this very well crafted bit of nothingness and the story is so bland and uneventful there's little reason to recommend it . A knock-off of a story by Evelyn Waugh who penned the wonderful " Brideshead Revisited " , this film seems to have needed much more time to tell its abruptly truncated tale . Passable with no CC or subtitles on the DVD I watched . ( |
586,262 | 783,721 | 221,559 | 5 | On the edge of what ? | On the Edge is a somewhat flat flick which focuses on a suicidal young man and woman who meet in a mental institution and discover that living and loving may be their most difficult option . The film offers good performances , a solid premise , and little else . An okay Irish flick with unrealized potential for couch potatoes into drama . ( C ) |
587,379 | 783,721 | 171,356 | 5 | A marginally funny spoof about an undercover DEA agent | Neeson is a top undercover DEA agent suffering from loss of confidence and flatulence . In this nominal comedy , he is caught in a crossfire between a Colombian cartel , an Italian Mafia , and DEA corruption . Can his gastroenterologist's beautiful assistant ( Bullock ) bail him out ? That's the question the film sets up and then answers with lots of tongue-in-cheek humor . Neeson , Platt , and Bullock manage to shore up this marginally funny flick and make it worth watching . Barely . |
585,760 | 783,721 | 151,582 | 5 | A thriller with no thrills . | The Minus Man follows the rather boring activities of Vann ( Wilson ) , a young man who drives into town , settles in a rented room , becomes a postal worker , and apparently kills people . The film gives insights into Vann's off-beat thinking with over-dubs and annoying vignettes which are fantasies or remembrances or whatever . The story doesn't build , it meanders and Vann is so uninteresting that , well , the film is uninteresting too . Monotonous , boring , passable . |
587,314 | 783,721 | 312,358 | 5 | Typical sequel ripoff | Anatomie 2 is a typical sequel which attempts to capitalize on the inertia of the popular first edition while not delivering the star power , creative juice , atmospherics or substance . This flick tells of a young medical prodigy ( Metschurat ) who falls in with a secret society of doctors who experiment with human bionics . Eminently predictable , less than horrific , with a meager human story , a mechanical and rote execution , and only a token appearance by rising star Potente , " Anatomie 2 " pales next to it's predecessor . See " Anatomie " first and don't expect much out of the sequel . ( |
587,028 | 783,721 | 245,046 | 5 | WWII chick flick | Blanchette turns in a solid performance as the title character of a not-so-solid WWII drama about a British woman who volunteers to work with the French resistance hoping to find her lover who was shot down over France . A kind of lyrical telling of a gritty story , this bland film tries to squeeze too much into the run time leaving a feeling of shallowness and superficiality , lacks the passion and suspense of the subject , and plays out much like a soap opera . Nonetheless , there's beauty to be found and enough emoting going on to give " Charlotte Gray " some appeal . Most likely to be enjoyed by females old enough to know something about WWII . |
585,719 | 783,721 | 217,630 | 5 | A surprisingly enjoyable little " sleeper " . | After such a long string of so-called romantic comedy junk flicks made for the college crowd , " Loser " is a surprisingly enjoyable little film about a very square college newbie's triumph over the cool crowd . Though the film is obvious and predictable it doesn't pander to the audience with gratuitous sex , booze , and banality and manages a sort of real sense of itself while keeping moving so the run time passes quickly . The film is also has numerous bit parts played by comics . No biggie but better than most of this ilk . |
587,627 | 783,721 | 156,515 | 5 | Mediocre stuff for the less than mature audience | Entropy is a principle of thermodynamics which has to do with the ever increasing randomness of the universe . It's also a mediocre cult-type flick which Dorff self-narrates in real time and in flashback as it tells about the increasing chaos in his life . A no nonsense , fast moving , get-to-the-point tongue-in-cheek drama , Dorff plays a film director who falls in love , begins to get his career on track , and then , through a series of bad decisions , slowly loses it all . This off-beat flick leaves the audience with one all important question unanswered . Why do we care ? |
587,560 | 783,721 | 95,333 | 5 | Bland , obvious , and lacking in chemistry and personality . | Not unlike a simple-minded Nancy Drew , McGillis plays a nosey but reluctant witness to Nazi war criminal underground railroad skullduggery who foils countless bad guys while falling in like with an FBI agent ( Daniels ) who doesn't carry a gun because they're too heavy . Yeah , right . Good old fashioned melodrama , " The House on Carroll Street " is a stagey , obvious , scripted , stiff , and sanitized for your protection . Recommended for viewers who prefer melodrama over reality . |
586,194 | 783,721 | 285,917 | 5 | Fire cop or fire bug ? | Point of Origin takes the viewer into the life of a workaholic top Los Angeles arson investigator ( Liotta ) who is married with children , having some extracurricular activity on the side , writing a book , and investigating a serial arson case . Jeesh , talk about burning the candle at both ends ! On the upside , this HBO product has a promising plot with some twisty-turny stuff . However , pinched at the end , fraught with plot holes , and cluttered with surreal visual effects , " Point of Origin " is likely to ignite little interest beyond that of the wayward channel surfer . |
586,752 | 783,721 | 299,422 | 5 | The " 100 Mile Rule " doesn't . | 100 Mile Rule is a comedy about three Detroit salesmen on business travel who become embroiled in scheming and scamming in L . A . This journeyman little low budget B-flick is a nominal no brainer watch for anyone interested in the something to chill to . Just keep expectations low and don't expect any LOL's . Lightweight entertainment for the male sofa spud sans tit-illators . ( |
585,898 | 783,721 | 171,308 | 5 | Weak and flawed | The Fall , a technically and artistically okay flick filmed in Budapest , tells of a frustrated American writer ( Scheffer ) who finds himself involved in drama and intrigue when his flat is invaded by a beautiful woman on the run ( de Fougerolles ) . A flawed screenplay with a thin story which doggedly wrestles with its own flimsy plot , " The Fall " makes for the kind of monotonous watch which is most likely to be enjoyed on late night tv when the picking is slim . |
586,226 | 783,721 | 289,879 | 5 | Unadulterared crap | Unadulterated as in not made for adults , " Butterfly Effect " offers some marginal performances in a silly make-it-up-as-you-go story which seems to be little more than an excuse to serve up huge helpings of gratuitous garbage for titillation of the those young people Hollywood just loves to rip off . You'll see a pedophilia , animal cruelty , sex , nudity , frat hazing , car trashing , prison fights , insane ravings , countless excuses to use the ever popular " F " word , and much , much more cinematic junk food designed to separate the old teen and young adult audience from the price of admission as this sensationalistic crap-filled flick wanders through the deranged mind of the central character ( Kutcher ) . Scorned by the critics but hailed by young males , " Butterfly Effect " is not worthy of a recommendation . ( C ) |
586,450 | 783,721 | 186,932 | 5 | Unoriginal , nominal whodunnit drama . | A homicide investigator ( McCarthy ) finds himself caught between his young daughter's life / death struggle with disease and a serial killer's rampage in this nominally watchable whodunnit drama . An good shoot but one of those flicks which you feel like you seen many times before . Okay material for channel surfers . |
587,630 | 783,721 | 286,493 | 5 | Monster's Ball it ain't | In " The Badge " ( bad title ) , Thornton plays a sheriff in Louisiana's LaSalle Parish who has to solve a murder case involving sexually atypical types whom he regards with contempt . The film attempts to show Thornton's character coming to grips with his prejudices while wrestling with other personal issues such as his estranged family and job security but never manages any serious level of tension or believability and finishes anticlimactically . " The Badge " is a messy , ill focused , conglomerated mystery / drama with a solid cast , a clumsy screenplay , and a slick noirish execution full of comic book characters ; a kind of classy dud . Passable stuff worth a look for Thornton fans . ( C ) |
585,966 | 783,721 | 264,935 | 5 | Movie by numbers | In " Murder by Numbers " , a miscast Bullock fails to nail the nuances required of her role as a tough homicide cop with issues while awash in a forensic la-la-land trying to wrest confessions from a couple of high school students who think they have committed the perfect murder complete with victim , perp , and clues up the wazoo . An unfortunate Hollywood bowzer , the film is busy enough and polished enough that the dozing couch potato may overlook the many plot-flaws , predictability , and clumsy thriller-filler ending . All others beware of the old Hollywood hype scam and watch this on video as you may want to do some fast-forwarding . ( |
586,173 | 783,721 | 221,889 | 5 | Nominal UK dark comedy for the couch potato | Beautiful Creatures is a light-hearted dark comedy which tells of a pair of chance meeting babes who have had trouble with the men in their lives . So , armed with a mix of ditziness and defiance , they decide to do something about it which results in more men , more trouble , murder and mayhem . A not-to-be-taken-seriously silly little flick , " BC " is a series of setup situations with unexpected outcomes which makes it full of surprises although contrived , unsophisticated , mediocre and obviously low budget . " BC " should be most appreciated by feminists and others who enjoy Brit flicks with off-beat humor . |
585,734 | 783,721 | 100,797 | 5 | A poor telling of a socially significant story | Too Young to Die tells of an attractive young woman of low intelligence who's raised by a degenerate mother in a low class environment and sexually abused by men resulting in tragedy . This unfortunate flick has a story of some social significance but fails to bring it to the screen with the bitter reality , heart and compassion is deserves . Lewis and Pitt offer good performances but the film suffers from melodrama , stereotypical clichés , poor directing , and a mediocre screen play with an obvious made-for-tv presentation . Recommended only for those interested in the early work of Lewis and Pitt . |
587,413 | 783,721 | 186,894 | 5 | The wrong actor got on the plane . | Old premise , new film . A reasonable attempt at film making , " Bounce " is fraught with problems not the least of which is casting Affleck opposite a fine actress . This light drama starts okay but fizzles . The chemistry between Affleck and Paltrow is predictably nonexistent . Affleck and Bullock , maybe . Affleck and Paltrow , no way . The drama in all corners of the film , from alcoholism to the Kodak moments to the " can I love the guy who killed my husband " paradox doesn't work because the film builds a weak foundation , develops characters poorly , and just plain unravels in the denouement . Wait for broadcast on this one . |
586,183 | 783,721 | 137,036 | 5 | Shoestring indie snoozer | Jerome , AZ is the destination of this road trip flick about a not too bright welder who walks off the job , leaves his family , and hits the road in his boss's car . A shoestring indie , " Jerome " is one of those shallow character-driven dramas where the camera lingers endlessly over every scene as though we're supposed to be wallowing in the pathos of the moment when we're really just getting bored out of our socks . Not totally unsatisfying , this flick delivers too little too late and in the end and seems to have no purpose other than showing us how much trouble a guy can get into by simply passively defaulting to the consequences of situations as they arise . For indie lovers only . |
587,130 | 783,721 | 248,190 | 5 | An Edsel | No Such Thing is an absurd comedy knock-off of the old " Beauty and the Beast " or " Hunchback of Notre Dame " or " Phantom of the Opera " theme where a grotesque and misunderstood male is juxtaposed with a beautiful female who understands him . In this film the monster is a scaly , horned , fire breathing murdering man / monster with a drinking problem who killed protag Polley's boyfriend and wants to die ; something only the petite Polley can arrange . Yeah , right . Whatever . Full of time wasting filler and shallow characters , this flick is about as interesting as the barren Icelandic landscape which provides the habitat for the monster . Fast forward through the filler and you can get through this critically panned turkey in about 30 minutes . ( Note - the cover shot is just a trailer moment . |
587,503 | 783,721 | 206,420 | 5 | Sizzle turns to fizzle | Woman On Top tells of a Brazilian woman / chef ( Cruz ) who leaves her husband because he cheats on her because she gets motion sickness and so she conjures a spell from some god of the sea . . . aw , never mind . Suffice it to say this film , which is supposed to be a romantic fable / story laced with sensuous Brazilian sambas , cuisine , and hocus-pocus is a silly , awkward attempt to pound square pegs through round holes and just doesn't work . Cruz mopes through most of the film while her ex-to-be-husband / hero isn't even likeable . Acting is stiff , the story ambiguous , continuity poor , and the sensuality and romance lost in the struggle to get from beginning to end . Recommended only for channel surfers desperately in need of a little something romantic . |
585,924 | 783,721 | 245,479 | 5 | Just sucks . | Just a Kiss sucks like a Hoover . I only made it about halfway before ejecting . I showed the DVD cover to my SO and she just stuck up her nose at it . Even my cat tried to cover it up . The film has a good cast ( why I rented it ) but no story , goes no place , and really needs to get over itself . It's salted with cute little effects . . . not cute cute , just dumb cute . One star from Ebert and 86 % rotten according to RottenTomatoes . com , I shoulda known better . ( |
587,579 | 783,721 | 96,200 | 5 | Booooooring ! | Sweet Hearts Dance is about a two couples . . . one married , one not . Beyond that there's little worth mentioning . Although the film sports a good cast and is an okay production , it is a movie in need of a story as it wanders from chapter to chapter exploring the vicissitudes of a quartet of people who are probably much less interesting that yourself . In a word . . . . boring . |
587,025 | 783,721 | 144,715 | 5 | Inside this film is a good movie trying to get out . | Holy Smoke meanders schizophrenically through comedy , drama , realism , and farce serving only to obscure a sound premise and muddle a potentially interesting plot . Though their characters are as vague as the film's purpose , Keitel and Winslet are the only reasons to spend time with this flick . |
587,505 | 783,721 | 160,182 | 5 | Kookie comedy for young adult females | Something old , something new , something borrowed , and something that blows . . . such is the screenplay of " Desperate . . . " , a kookie comedy about an all night odyssey of two ditzy females through the clubs and parties of Hollyweird . Brewster gets all the good lines and steals the show while Taylor plays straight man in this lukewarm low budget little comedy which has it's moments , few and far between though they may be . Recommended for young adult females who , at this writing , have not voted sufficiently on IMDB . com to offset to inordinately low marks given by the male audiences . |
587,061 | 783,721 | 109,446 | 5 | No mark left unmissed | The Client , another marginal film from the master of the marginal film , is a B flick trying to look like an A flick . Schumacher manages to wrest some second rate performances from an excellent cast and Renfro's debut is no exception . The sweaty Southern noir atmospherics don't work any better than the music which seems always off target in this clumsy film which only squeaks by on the sheer charisma and talent of heavyweights Sarandon and Jones . Barely watchable , eminently forgettable , and for needy couch potatoes only . ( C ) |
587,254 | 783,721 | 217,355 | 5 | Nice try but no cigar | Dancing at the Blue Iguana goes round and round , showing us snapshots in the lives of a bunch of L . A . " Blue Iguana Club " strippers all of whom are having problems . Apparently this plaintive between-the-acts and behind-the-scenes look at stripping is a brain fart from the director . . . something about improv . Whatever . The film , however , hasn't legs of its own in spite of its attempt to desensationalize stripping , peeling away the glitzy g-strings to reveal the sad realities of stripping life . Rather , it comes off like a nice-try-but-no-cigar melodrama without the documentary foundation required for credibility nor the story arc for a drama . A plaintive , stylish , somber , and superficial look at stripping life for the couch potato . ( |
586,690 | 783,721 | 257,019 | 5 | Don't hate the director . Hate the movie . | About the only good thing I can say about " Purpose " is it does try to deliver a message about what's important in life on the heels of a boom / bust cycle of a new generation of materialistic status-oriented X-gen yuppies with dot-coms in their eyes . As a film , " Purpose " tries too hard to be hip with a script packed with buzz words and comtempo cliches and some guy who looks like Ray Liotta's kid as an upwardly mobile hotshot Bill Gates wannabee in the lead . Obviously the product of a newbie auteur , " Purpose " doesn't build much depth in its characters , is waaaay too cute , and seems to be little more than a slick new wrapper on an old story . Pass on this one unless maybe you're a computer geek who aspires to be another Micheal Dell or Steve Jobs . ( C ) |
587,095 | 783,721 | 286,635 | 5 | Kid's stuff | Fulltime Killer out of Hong Kong has a silly and convoluted plot which is about two young male assassins and a babe . The relationships between the characters are poorly developed as are the characters themselves and the storyline plays out in a superficial make-it-up-as-you-go manner . The flick is difficult to follow , part subtitled , part English with no CC ( on the DVD I watched ) , music which doesn't work and only serves to drown out much of the dialogue which is spoken with accents . There is no sense of good versus evil in the film , no one to care about , and no real good reason to spend time with it unless you want to see a whole lot of shooting by guys who don't have to look at the target to aim and never reload . . . you know the type . When all is said and done , " Fulltime Killer " is little more than kinetic high voltage kid's stuff which will have narrow appeal ( eg : male gamers and the like ) . ( C ) |
586,594 | 783,721 | 307,351 | 5 | Sex , drugs , rock & roll and other stuff | Prey for Rock and Roll sticks B-movie diva Gershon in the spotlight of yet another B-flick as the lesbo lead of an all-girl small time club rock band . This slice-of-rock-life look at the aging rock musician almost works but can't seem to avoid those oh so very Hollywoodish excursions into lesbian sex , sex for drugs , rape , revenge , etc . More music and fewer gratuities and this could have been a reasonable representation of the plight of the aging rocker , the narcotic-like hold music has over the musician , and the trade-offs and sacrifices they make for their art . However , when all is said and done , " Prey . . . " plays out like just another B-flick wannabe . Recommended for rockers and Gershon fans . ( |
586,682 | 783,721 | 126,965 | 5 | A journeyman mystery / drama worth a look on cable | Indiscreet is a so-so journeyman flick with numerous plot holes which tells of a P . I . ( Perry ) who gets involved with the woman ( Ruben ) he's paid to follow and events leading to murder and more . A good shoot around a mediocre story which spends too much time developing a thin character in Perry only to reveal the real substance about the halfway point , " Indiscreet " has been running on cable for a considerable time and makes for an okay watch if nothing better is to be found among the channels . |
586,715 | 783,721 | 245,356 | 5 | Ode de parfum | Perfume is apparently supposed to be a behind the scenes look at the world of high fashion ; designers , models , photographers , gurus , wanabees , divas , dilettantes , etc . all involved in their daily esoteric industry activities in NYC . In spite of an even temperament and a sense of earnestness , this project just proves again that a good cast a good film does not make . A lackluster flick which wanders from one stagey scene to another showing us stammering characters with little depth while leaving us feeling disconnected , " Perfume " is marginally entertaining at best . With no story per se , no one to care about , and no clear insights into the fashion biz , there's little reason to recommend this fragrance . ( C ) |
586,924 | 783,721 | 96,091 | 5 | Pretty awful | Shattered Innocence , loosely based on the short life of porn star Shauna Grant , tells the story of a girl from the midwest who moves to California , gets into drugs and porn , and commits suicide . There's nothing new here and it's presented in an obvious , watered down , made-for-tv style with annoying over-acting by Lee . Very forgettable stuff . |
585,730 | 783,721 | 104,567 | 5 | Off beat and unsatisfying | Johnny Suede is a slice of life flick which tells of a peculiar fictitious character , Suede ( Pitt ) , who has a 10 inch pompadour , worships Ricky Nelson , is a wannabee musician / star , is naive or stupid or both , and has little else worthy of mention . The slice the film presents ( the story ) is off-beat and creative in the minutia and anticlimactic in the whole . Pitt and Keneer and Levels work well in their roles but can't make up for a story which is about as satisfying as a baloney sandwich on Thanksgiving Day . A no brainer for channel surfers . |
585,989 | 783,721 | 245,317 | 5 | A middle of the heap romcom | A typical starving artist ( Eigeman ) is unable to sell his paintings until a scam artist creates a mysterious identity for him and proves that one can find wealth and true love through fraud as his art becomes " The Next Big Thing " . There is as little to praise and there is to fault in this easy-going B romcom now on cable . An okay time killer for couch potatoes . ( Note - Farley Granger , 50's heart-throb , makes a rare appearance in this film . |
587,355 | 783,721 | 126,938 | 5 | Plenty of Cherot | Hav Plenty is a little Afro-Am romantic comedy which tells of the wax and wane of an unspoken but simmering love between an unemployed writer , Lee Plenty ( Cherot ) , and a beautiful career woman , Havilland Savage ( Maxwell ) . . . hence the title , " Hav " and " Plenty " ( Get it ? ) . The film has a stagey feel from being shot on sets with characters occasionally speaking directly to the camera , avoids excesses ( excesses cost money ) , and relies mostly on a " less is more " philosophy to get from start to finish . Nonetheless , " Hav Plenty " has a sort of quietly endearing charm which must flow from Cherot as he is the auteur and lead actor and it - is - a true story . . . . or so he tells us in the film ( and I Tivo'd is from the " True Stories " channel on cable ) . Okay stuff for those looking for a low cal watch on tv . ( |
587,149 | 783,721 | 190,874 | 5 | Man , woman , french fries , and a wall . | The Wall lampoons an old conflict between Belgium's Flemish and French populations with a short and marginally humorous story about the owner of a french fry stand , his love interest , and the government's decision to partition Belgium with a wall which happens to run smack through the middle of our hero's one-man business . A cute little flick , " Le Mur " has all the ear marks of a low budget indie . Nonetheless , it manages a fresh appeal , some fun moments , and keeps itself to conservative one hour run time . Recommended for channel surfers who happen across it but not worth a trip to the video store . |
586,301 | 783,721 | 117,824 | 5 | Meager | Taking on the Kennedys is a short 45 minute documentary about the 1994 Rhode Island campaign for Congress which pitted 26 year old Democrat Patrick Kennedy against a 39 year old Republican physician Kevin Vigilante . The film , which has all the ear marks of a one man hand-held minicam shoot with poor quality audio and video , follows Vigilante around as he goes through the usual campaign hand clasping and stumping slowly but surely losing his naiveté as he see his image tarnished , his campaign outspent , and his hopes dashed by his younger opponent who is shoe-horned into the office thanks to his politically savvy and well connected family . A meager DVD offering , there are no surprises in this film about a not very interesting campaign though it may offer some insight into the campaign process for a few . ( C ) |
586,930 | 783,721 | 104,892 | 5 | Mistress misfires | Mistress , a misnomer , tells of a bunch of Hollywood hacks slogging through the process of networking , schmoozing , compromising , and sucking up required to launch a film project . A messy flick with little to offer considering the talent behind it , " Mistress " seems to be trying to make the point that making a film is often about everything but the film . . . careers , quid pro quos , personal agendas , etc . Unfortunately , " Mistress " is a poorly focused comedy / drama which doesn't work well in either genre . Most likely to be appreciated by people like the IMDB . com users who are not Hollywood insiders but have above average interest in films . ( C ) |
586,370 | 783,721 | 307,507 | 5 | Typical B-flick | The Stickup is all about Spader as a burned out LAPD cop on the run after being shot for robbing a bank in some fictitious small town in California's Sierra-Nevada mountains ( played by Canada ) . Spader takes up with a babe who happens to be a nurse and the ex-wife of the town Sheriff , etc . , etc . Toss in a lame FBI rookie , some Indians , and a bunch of flashbacks about Spader's past , mix them with a low budget and poor direction , and you have a film which will make you cringe when you're supposed to be enthralled or yawn when you're supposed to be thrilled . The only thing this loser has going for it is an unexpected twist at about the halfway point which doesn't make it a good film but it may keep you from ejecting your DVD prematurely . Best saved for broadcast . ( |
587,369 | 783,721 | 265,208 | 5 | A movie only a teenager could love | The Girl Next Door is one long series of excuses for serving up huge helpings of sex in an apparent attempt to separate the tween / teen male from the price of admission . This very unromantic lol free comedy tells of an about-to-grad HS student body prez who falls for the house sitting babe next door and then learns she's a porn star and sets about to save her from herself so she can be the person she really wants to be . ( Ahem ) Hirsch makes a suitable centerpiece while Cuthbert provides the babe-a-licious eye candy as this lame comedy only a teen could love kerchunks though huge gulps of sex obsessed filler . Scoffed at by the critics with poor marks from mature adults , this flick is fodder for teens chock full of shameful subliminals , T & A , and sex talk . A guaranteed winner for teen males and their bimbos and a loser for all others . ( C ) |
585,716 | 783,721 | 130,827 | 5 | A film which proves " creative " is not synonymous with " good " . | Run Lola Run depicts three scenarios , all with the same characters and beginning circumstances but with different outcomes . Each is about Lola running to rescue a small time crook who has lost a large sum of underworld money . The film focuses on Lola running with brief encounters along the way while mixing in some animation and bursts of still shots which serve no useful purpose . Heralded by some as creative , this huge waste of time gives us no reason to care about Lola or anyone in the film and no reason to watch beyond the first scenario except the hope that this incoherent mess will somehow manages itself to an enjoyable conclusion . |
586,541 | 783,721 | 159,995 | 5 | Two stars : One in the head and one in the heart . | Angel's Dance features Belushi as the hitman's guru who tests a young protege with an assignment to " hit " a beautiful but freaky woman , Angel ( Lee ) , selected at random . Both get more than they bargained for in this darkish comedy with some action and lots of quirky humor . The film is fresh in the beginning , languishes in the middle , and pulls itself together in the end making for a lukewarm watch overall with some deliciously sardonic tongue-in-cheek humor . An okay small screen watch for channel surfers looking for comedy / action . |
586,724 | 783,721 | 245,634 | 5 | Boring | See Jack take pictures . See Jack bang a babe . See Jack with his mom . See Jack bang another babe . See Jack with his wife . See Jack bang another babe . See Jack get divorced . See Jack bang another babe . Etc . Etc . " Jack the Dog " is a crisp , clean , slick shoot with solid performances . " Jack the Dog " is also naive , simple minded , and shows us nothing we haven't seen many times before . Oh , and BTW , the cute little novelties ( euphemism for brain farts ) , such as flashing Estella's name on the screen when Jack can't remember it , only serve to remind us we're watching a movie . This flick deserves and E for effort , a P for promise , and a B for boring . |
586,959 | 783,721 | 260,924 | 5 | Bagger Vance it ain't | A Gentleman's Game is all about a teen boy with a natural golf swing who caddies for a country club and learns there's more to life than golf ( duh ) . This lame little coming-of-age flick is packed with lessons in life such as don't bury your guns in sand traps or it's okay not to swim with half naked babes or don't believe old drunk guys . Although this film's heart is in the right place , I'm not sure its director was . A jumbled , messy indie which never quite coagulates , " A Gentleman's Game " has so much golf stuff in it that it would probably be more enjoyable for those who know something about the game . Personally , I thought the film was much like the game ; slow moving and boring . ( C ) |
586,518 | 783,721 | 109,219 | 5 | Kind of like watching grass grow . | Save pure voyeurism , it's difficult to see the entertainment value in a film which simply portrays the pedestrian , sublunary vicissitudes of ordinary people who are probably less interesting than ourselves . " Barcelona " , a journeyman light comedy / drama indie , features postcard shots of the title city , a bevy of babes , and two pretty ordinary guys who just banter incessantly about the most uninteresting stuff . Flawed and with plotholes aplenty , " Barcelona " is a film in need of a story and fails to distinguish itself in any significant way . Passable , forgettable stuff though the auteur may be a work in progress with potential . |
586,140 | 783,721 | 232,632 | 5 | Shiner . . . down for the count | Shiner is a gritty character-driven drama all about Caine as the title character ; a shady , unsuccessful , aging British boxing promoter whose world begins to implode when he gambles everything on one fight featuring his son in the main event . The story in this B-flick becomes an overwrought mess as Caine's character becomes an overwrought mess , making Caine's performance the only reason for spending time with the film . Okay for Caine fans and passable stuff for all others . ( C ) |
586,709 | 783,721 | 148,421 | 5 | Do-do-do-do-do-do-dee-dee-wop ! | Looking for an Echo is a slice of 50-year-old life flick with Asante as a widower , a bartender , a has-been pop singer / musician , and the father of a daughter with cancer . The flick offers a whole lot of doo-wop singing and carousing with old singing pals while working in side plots involving the daughter's illness , romance with a nurse , and family issues . Ill focused , " Looking . . . . " seems to have little plot or purpose but makes for an easy-going , soapy watch which tries hard to leave the audience feeling good . With little to fault and little to praise , " Looking . . . . " is a lukewarm but sincere film product which will be most enjoyed by lovers of vocal harmonizing ( circa 50's-60's ) and Asante fans . ( C ) |
586,129 | 783,721 | 95,996 | 5 | Welcome back to whoop , whoop , holler and boom ! | Rikky and Pete are thirtyish Aussie sibs who leave Melbourne to escape a dictatorial patriarch and Pete's problems with a local copper and to seek their fortune in the outback where they take up with silver mining and a bunch of quirky characters . " R & P " is a fun little Aussie comedy romp which wanders without clear purpose through it's marginal plot conjuring up moments droll , offbeat , and awkward humor and little else . Worth a look for those into Aussie flix . |
586,855 | 783,721 | 109,206 | 5 | Pass | Bandit Queen tells the story of Phoolan Devi ( circa 1970ish ) , a lower caste woman from the boonies of northern India who was abused and mistreated by a male dominated misogynistic culture , rebelled , turned outlaw , and became a folk hero of sorts in her own time . Not much of a movie , this two hour melodramatic biopic and adventure flick offers precious little historical context but rather dwells on the brutality . Given what in the grand scheme of cinema is very poor production value and the fact it was made prior to Phoolan Devi's last years and ultimate murder , " Bandit Queen " is a good film to pass over . Recommended only for the curious or those with a specific interest in Devi . ( C ) |
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