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1
Jeff Fahey and Sean Young : a nightmarish twosome !
Jeff Fahey has such alert eyes and a smudgy , insidious smile that every character he plays seems villainous ; therefore , it doesn't really work to cast him as the good guy of the piece , the audience is just waiting for his character to crack and start blowing people away . Drew Barrymore , fresh off her acclaimed ro...
552,868
989,035
95,256
1
Sick-minded mayhem made me wince . . .
Linda Blair is good in just about everything she's in - - yes , even " Roller Boogie " . As for " Grotesque " , well . . . Rarely have I seen such a sick , twisted piece of sludge . At her parents ' mountain abode , Linda and family are attacked by a gang of punks so disgusting they'd give Sid Vicious the shakes ! Afte...
553,433
989,035
70,395
1
Christmas catastrophe . . .
That old rivalry between Macy's and Gimbel's rages on ! Allegedly a Christmas fantasy with comic and romantic trimmings , this TV-made remake of the 1947 holiday perennial turns sour mighty quickly , probing into the psychological ramifications of a department store Santa Claus who believes he is , in fact , Kris Kring...
552,701
989,035
95,304
1
Low spirits . . . low returns
Writer-director Neil Jordan ( on a roll after the critically-acclaimed " Mona Lisa " ) nearly took his name off the credits of this low-level whimsy , saying the final result had been altered by outsiders . Perhaps they were hoping to find ( or save ) the center of Jordan's muddled plot , but in the end it's still a wa...
552,686
989,035
289,879
1
Pushy , ugly disenfranchised youth flick disguised as a thriller . . .
Young boy with a perplexing , unexplained medical condition - - blacking out at crucial points in his life , only to wake up later confused about what has transpired - - grows into a rambunctious college student proud that he hasn't had a black-out in seven years ( I would think the fact he has avoided jail-time after ...
553,205
989,035
113,303
1
The pits . . .
Not long after losing one of his two daughters in a car accident , family man and antique store owner Jeff Goldblum suffers his own car trauma and literally dies momentarily ; a doctor brings him back to life , but it seems Goldblum has brought good and evil powers back with him from the other side : he is now telepath...
553,672
989,035
96,241
1
Jaw-droppingly bad
Whoopi Goldberg gets a great character-name here ( Vashti Blue ) and perhaps had an opportunity to really cut loose in a movie like she used to do on-stage in her pre - " Color Purple " days , but " The Telephone " is out-of-order ( to be charitable ) . Goldberg plays an actress with a pet owl ( ! ) who spends her time...
551,465
989,035
290,002
1
Ridiculous , mean-spirited comedy wastes good cast
Witless follow-up to " Meet the Parents " is full of slapstick chaos with poor continuity , strained gags , pets used as vulgar visual jokesters , and a screaming toddler . Worse than that , the film has some of the worst writing , directing , and cinematography I've seen all year . Ben Stiller , his lipsticked-mouth a...
551,569
989,035
818,516
1
Bottom-dweller David Lynch-wannabe co-starring Martin Sheen's brother . . .
While at a wedding reception for another couple , a self-doubting groom-to-be spies a platinum blonde in a white satin dress giving him the eye ; intrigued , he follows her into the ladies room , but she vanishes . Later , out on the road with his fiancée , the young man apparently hits the girl with his car , only to ...
552,812
989,035
60,848
1
It doesn't make sense ! Not any of it !
Hilariously awful star-studded turkey , an apparent do-gooder drama concocted by Ian Fleming , sponsored by Xerox and directed by Bond-filmmaker Terence Young , details the United Nations ' efforts to stop the trafficking of opium out of the Middle East . Bungled ingredients include star-cameos , an introduction by Gra...
551,330
989,035
95,889
1
Carol Anne ? . . . Carol Anne ? ! . . . Carol Anne ! !
A dreadful excuse for a thriller , ending the once-popular " Poltergiest " trilogy on a shameful note . A young child , continually dogged by evil spirits , brings her reign of bad luck to a Chicago high-rise when she goes to live with her aunt and uncle ( apparently her real parents had had enough ) . There was nothin...
553,622
989,035
60,434
1
Shame on Dana Andrews !
Handsome , square-jawed Dana Andrews - - star of such classics as " Laura " , " Elephant Walk " , and " The Best Years of Our Lives " - - finds himself in tragic circumstances here . It's a jaw-droppingly tasteless , would-be horror-thriller about frozen members of the Third Reich being revived by a Hitler-loving scien...
553,249
989,035
52,837
1
An impossible concoction . . .
Absurd adaptation of a dinner-theater perennial by Alec Coppel has television-writer Glenn Ford attempting to cover up a murder by burying the corpse underneath wife Debbie Reynolds ' garden gazebo . This type of sitcom nonsense - - featuring totally unreal supporting characters bursting into the scenario at just the w...
551,001
989,035
95,924
1
A thriller on life-support . . .
Writer-director Paul Golding's abysmal , completely forgettable thriller distributed by a major studio ( Columbia ) but filled with low-rent talent . Story has a young boy ( Joey Lawrence ) attempting to save his dad and stepmother from evil , unseen forces within their home . As the stubborn father , Cliff De Young on...
552,269
989,035
113,497
1
Recommended only to those who find elephant destruction awe-inspiring
It took four - - count ' em , FOUR - - screenwriters to conjure up this adaptation of Chris Van Allsburg's book about a man imprisoned in a supernatural board-game , freed by two precocious tots , setting off a chain-reaction of incredible disasters . Muddy , confused sideshow is mindlessly busy , held together for the...
550,670
989,035
52,878
1
A head-splitting farce
New York family is the last in their neighborhood to get a television set , which nearly ruins David Niven's marriage to Mitzi Gaynor . Bedroom comedy that rarely ventures into the bedroom ( and nothing sexy happens there anyway ) . Gaynor as an actress has about as much range as an oven - - she turns on , she turns of...
551,201
989,035
94,701
1
Only for viewers into cheap , ugly thrillers . . .
Ghastly horror item , which may have represented a dead-end for the slasher genre before Wes Craven revived it in the ' 90s , has cult-suicide survivor Jennifer Rubin spending thirteen years in a coma , only to awaken to a bizarre rash of deaths in her hospital ward . Although Jennifer shows promise in her role , and S...
552,380
989,035
71,671
1
Disney ought to leave the lost colonies alone . . .
Awful Disney adventure , puny in scope and grandeur , about a professor from England who is reluctantly recruited into leading small search party across the Antarctic in search of a missing youngster . Jules Verne-like tale is actually based upon Ian Cameron's book " The Lost Ones " , but resembles a poor man's " In Se...
552,431
989,035
243,736
1
Josh Hartnett finds sex an empty void . . . the basis for any hilarious comedy
Sniggering , nauseous interplay between the sexes , as block of wood Josh Hartnett , pining for his ex-girlfriend who is now engaged to another man , decides to give up all-things-sexual for Lent ( what connection this has with his former flame is never made clear , except that intimate relationships with all other wom...
552,646
989,035
113,729
1
Teen rubbish
Just when you thought movies in the 1990s couldn't get any worse , along comes this lumpy stew of a teen romance . I wasn't sure the picture could actually sink any lower from the ludicrous opening sequence ( scored with an abominable rock song ) ; unfortunately , it does . Boy meets girl at school , they flirt , they ...
551,589
989,035
113,748
1
. . . and you thought Ally Sheedy was having a tough time !
Real-life teen sensation Molly Ringwald's fall from cinematic grace was swifter and more disastrous than Sky Lab , due in part to B-flicks like this one . It's a " Fatal Attraction " retread which casts the now-sexed up Ringwald as a jilted woman who stalks her man down , with John Vernon in a ridiculous supporting rol...
551,111
989,035
71,607
1
The Disney people in desperation mode . . .
Although it was a hit with kids , this sequel to 1968's " The Love Bug " flounders around for some sort of inspiration , finding it only in the multiple flashbacks to the first picture . There's hardly a whiff of a plot , Helen Hayes looks uncomfortable , and Ken Berry is a poor man's Dean Jones . Worse , the special e...
551,644
989,035
113,755
1
Comic inanities served up to families as something unique and gut-busting . . .
Mind-bogglingly bad Disney comedy pits middle-aged sweethearts Chevy Chase and Farrah Fawcett against Fawcett's prankish pre-teen son Jonathan Taylor Thomas ( that smug Keebler elf from the TV sitcom " Home Improvement " ) . After single mom Farrah brings new love-interest Chevy home to meet her kid , Taylor resorts to...
551,106
989,035
86,904
1
Rupert Everett in old-man's make-up provides the only laugh in the picture
Unrelievedly stuffy and bland true-life account of homosexual prep-school boy in 1930's London who later became a spy for the Russians . Told colorlessly in flashback , with aloof Everett posturing and pursing his modulated lips in continual pensiveness ( he has one expression to express every dulled-out emotion ) . Ba...
551,966
989,035
443,530
1
Queasy drama with a somewhat subversive premise . . .
Hapless 33-year-old gay man with only a few friends volunteers to take a new drug which promises to make him heterosexual . The trouble with this premise is , the central character ( inhibited and wounded ) would be unhappy in any sexual environment , either with a woman or another man . Writer-director John Baumgartne...
553,540
989,035
78,856
1
Belated sequel with a beleaguered cast . . .
Awkward disaster mishmash has a team of scavengers coming across the overturned S . S . Poseidon , hoping to loot it before it goes under for good . Irwin Allen's sequel to his 1972 blockbuster " The Poseidon Adventure " arrived in theaters SEVEN YEARS LATER ! Never mind that nobody cared anymore , why give us such a s...
553,335
989,035
465,624
1
Superhero romantic-comedy hasn't anything romantic or funny in it . . .
It's easy to see how this below-average screenplay got by in the early sales-pitch meetings at Regency Films ( and later with Fox ) : cross the superhero genre with a comedic take on " Fatal Attraction " . . . voilà ! I don't know how on earth a talented director like Ivan Reitman got involved , unless the pay was just...
550,714
989,035
114,151
1
Straight-to-tape " sequel " sans every iota of talent from the predecessor . . .
1992's " Poison Ivy " played like an art-house sleaze-piece with an eye on the cult-movie market ( and , at this , it succeeded , despite a herky-jerky narrative ) . But since the heroine perished in that film's final moments , a sequel would seem unlikely . Not so , as Alyssa Milano's Lily finds out . After discoverin...
553,446
989,035
59,913
1
Another teen tragedy . . .
Laughably awkward teen-opus , filmed on the cheap in black-and-white , concerns young male and female college students battling each other over the rights to a swanky beach-house . It's the boys against the girls ! ( Wouldn't it makes things more interesting for these kids if the pad were co-ed ? ) Worth a quick peek f...
552,752
989,035
35,899
1
Greed-inspired Universal time-waster
Sad to see the Larry Talbot character resurrected in such a ridiculous fashion . This gets " Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man " off to a bad start , although the production certainly looks better , more expensive than " The Wolf Man " . Patric Knowles returns , but in a different role ( this leads to some confusion ) an...
551,229
989,035
59,710
1
Ursula Undressed as AYESHA . . . ( gazuntite ! )
Laughable adventure from England's Hammer Films , based on H . Rider Haggard's book , about Army soldier in 1918 Palestine who is sent on a mission across the desert by curvaceous woman of Eternal Life . Dreadful fantasy rates a big zero . Script , performances , production - - all second-rate . Everyone in the cast so...
551,999
989,035
105,629
1
Just appalling . . .
Laughter is a state of mind says the tag , and I hesitate to comment on Barry Levinson's . What could he have been thinking during the making of " Toys " ? When he watched the rushes , did he see a successful , funny fantasy ? If so , then he's working on a different plane than I . This is an excruciating picture , o...
550,829
989,035
209,475
1
The ' chick flick ' comes a cropper
Kissless wedding co-ordinator ( who is into Scrabble matches and vintage movies ) meets the guy of her dreams ( a doctor , no less ! ) , only to find out he's the intended groom of her latest client . Designed to make ladies swoon , but if they do they are easy targets . Completely toothless script is like a Julia Robe...
553,306
989,035
114,666
1
A candidate for the worst movie of the 1990s
Thoroughly repugnant and wretched melodrama has the foster couple to a little girl terrorized by the child's psychopathic biological parents , who are on the lam from the police . Warped , irresponsible picture with thriller aspirations is more stupid than suspenseful . Director Wesley Strick seems to have fallen aslee...
551,359
989,035
114,658
1
Whoopi Goldberg is almost always worth watching . . . almost
From the What Was She Thinking ? file : Whoopi Goldberg plays a cop in the future who is teamed with a talking dinosaur ( ! ) for a crime case involving a madman who wants to start another ice-age . Straight-to-tape oddity is embarrassing and ridiculous , a high-concept in search of itself . Apparently this was a labor...
551,775
989,035
89,964
1
Quit your blubbering !
Rightfully atrocious . " Orinoco-Prison Of Sex " ( a . k . a . " Escape From Hell " ) was an Italian-Spanish women - as - slaves - on - a - South - American - island - who - revolt thing , brought stateside in 1985 , christened with a new title and spiced with fresh footage of Linda Blair as a vengeful " ex-employee " ...
553,156
989,035
59,336
1
A complete mess . . . although a few good laughs do emerge from the morass
When you think of " wacky , zany " comedies , the names of director J . Lee Thompson and screenwriter William Peter Blatty probably don't immediately come to mind . " John Goldfarb " is a with-it satire of politics , fads , football , feminism , and other topical issues which audiences of 1965 preferred to be without ....
553,143
989,035
90,056
1
Chump-comedy with beleaguered leads . . .
Two nudnicks ( Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd ) think they're being trained as spies for the United States government when actually they're being used as guinea pigs against the Russian defense . Fans of TV's " Saturday Night Live " may never have guessed that one-time rivals Chase and Aykroyd would end up starring in a p...
551,920
989,035
59,255
1
Scarrrry !
It's ' Arabian Nights a Go-Go ' when movie star Elvis P . tours the Middle East , getting mixed up in an assassination attempt ( don't worry - - flick is a piece of fluff , not " The Manchurian Candidate " ! ) . Elvis looks great in a turban , a la Valentino in " The Shiek " , but his usual stony expressions for once c...
552,746
989,035
79,975
1
Aldo Ray wins Best Actor . . . at the Adult Film Awards ? ?
I rented this low-budget sex-western to see one of my favorite actors , Aldo Ray , playing the villain in one of his last movie appearances . But Ray is featured on-screen only minimally ; the other " performers " are made up of unattractive amateurs undressing rather self-consciously for the camera ( I read that one o...
552,440
989,035
499,456
1
Writer-director Jake Kennedy has a good time . . . he may be the only one
While sweetheart campers are up in the mountains , a deadly comet is making its way around Earth ; by morning , with a strange dust covering the ground , the kids quickly learn nearly everyone has been turned into raging cannibal zombies - - the male members of which have had an asexual embryo implanted in their groin ...
551,977
989,035
88,019
2
Full of tacky T & A interludes - - but hey , it has Cherie and Marie Currie !
A comedy in nearly every sense , " The Rosebud Beach Hotel " is at odds with itself whether to be a goofy , screwball frolic ( with surprisingly old-fashioned overtones ) or a sniggering T & A fest à la " Private School " . Colleen Camp inherits a fifth-rate hotel by the beach and hires second-hand help to run it , but...
552,940
989,035
105,121
2
Grimly unfunny " satire " of Reagan-era greed . . .
Another misfire from director Wes Craven , here concocting an unappetizing scenario concerning a modern black family menaced by their white landlords , despicable people who have imprisoned various poor souls underneath their mansion . Craven has said the hissable , wealthy white folk were based on Ronald and Nancy Rea...
553,604
989,035
87,983
2
Sleek titillation mixed with teenage angst . . .
The drawing card of " Reckless " in 1984 was in seeing its sexy young stars sans clothes . What . . . you thought it was the plot ? The script is a relentless rip-off of every teen-angst drama from " Rebel Without A Cause " on down . Misunderstood high schooler ( Aidan Quinn ) , whose brooding manner derives from an un...
552,579
989,035
252,501
2
How come nobody called the cops on the bully with the bat ?
Infuriating story from a Stephen King book about elderly man with ESP ( Anthony Hopkins , in an easy , sly performance ) befriending young Bobby ( Anton Yelchin ) , the boy of a single mother who both live downstairs in the same building . William Goldman's mediocre screenplay pokes around , trying to come up with inte...
552,683
989,035
77,921
2
Burton brings down a cathedral . . . and his career
If 1977's " Exorcist II : The Heretic " did him no favors , it's hard to imagine what thespian extraordinaire Richard Burton saw in this drab exercise in non-thrills . You've seen it all before : Burton plays a writer who discovered at an early age he possesses the power to move inanimate objects through force of his m...
551,992
989,035
141,098
2
The ' Force ' isn't with these two . . .
Ben Affleck , about to be married , is shaken up by a plane accident and gets involved with one of the other passengers ( Sandra Bullock , forcing herself to act insane ) . Who is to blame for this inept , ugly morass ? It is so badly edited , when I looked in the credits it wasn't to read the editor's name - - it was ...
553,560
989,035
113,101
2
Crash-and-burn all-star comedy . . .
Flaky , flippant substitute-bellhop in a run-down Hollywood hotel encounters a coven of comely witches , a psychotic man and his wife involved in sexual , violent role-playing , a gangster and his wife who need a babysitter for their precocious kids , and a wire-strung Hollywood auteur who proposes a bloody game of win...
552,697
989,035
466,669
2
Well-trodden scenario gets a gay twist , but film can't decide which audience to target . . .
40-year-old gay teacher has a car accident and dreams he's back in high school again - - only this time , gay is ' normal ' and he's attracted to a comely female student . Silly , low-budget , under-populated comedy-drama is more ambitious than its thin production or straight-seeming cast can handle . The script is stu...
553,282
989,035
95,286
2
Psychological study . . . with S & M overtures
Jennifer Jason Leigh is a consistently unsurprising actress . As the years go by , the virginal teenager she played in " Fast Times at Ridgemont High " appears to be the anomaly on her resume . Specializing in characters on the proverbial brink , Leigh becomes rudderless in ' ordinary ' roles , such as her corporate's ...
553,103
989,035
95,238
2
Not a good vehicle for Keaton . . .
Dreary , rather annoying film-adaptation of Sue Miller's book ( directed by Leonard Nimoy ! ) has Diane Keaton in one of her weakest roles as a single mother sued for custody of her child by her ex-husband . Seems mom's new Bohemian boyfriend ( Liam Neeson ) is a bad influence , and after Keaton's little girl sees Nees...
552,049
989,035
60,708
2
Expectations high , results poor
A spy satire from Joseph Losey ? Losey's films are always rich in texture but are completely alienating . His askewed vision - - usually defended by the intelligentsia set - - leaves viewers out of the mix , and one is left to ponder what the hell he was trying to say . " Modesty Blaise " is , sadly , no different . Lo...
550,757
989,035
87,263
2
' Hip ' isn't hip anymore . . . ( it's not ? )
Trouble at home has caused high schooler Christopher Collet to become embittered , rebelling at school and battling with his mother , but instead of seeking advice or aid from adults who may just be a bit more knowledgeable than he , Collet takes matters into his own hands . Pricelessly overripe piece of juvenalia - - ...
551,404
989,035
69,732
2
Star-laden dud on a TV-movie budget . . .
The trailer for this comedic scare flick was much more successful than the actual movie ; delineating sort of a " Ten Little Indians " scenario , it quickly highlighted a passel of imaginative deaths , such as two kissing lovers crushed to death in a shower stall . Unfortunately , this tacky turkey with name-players ha...
551,215
989,035
87,179
2
Joan Jett's misspent youth
Two years before her solo career took off , Joan Jett was without a band ( The Runaways had just split ) and she was contracted to do a low-budget B-flick called " We're All Crazy Now " , a Beatlesesque look at a day in the life with The Runaways . Since the band was no more ( and guitarist Lita Ford had the good sense...
552,584
989,035
60,558
2
William Beaudine strikes again !
While residing in a village in Mexico , the granddaughter of Frankenstein meets Jesse James . Director William Beaudine , who handled mostly low-rent westerns and TV serials , suffered an illness in the 1950s and nearly dropped out of sight , only to rebound in the ' 60s with drive-in western-horror flicks like this on...
552,489
989,035
78,504
2
Diana Ross as a spinster Dorothy ? ? Still , she's the only good thing in " The Wiz " . . .
Underwhelming black-rendering of " The Wizard Of Oz " , with Dorothy re-conceived as a Harlem schoolteacher without a man who learns the true meaning of happiness after she's whisked off to Oz ( which mostly looks like a Harlem playground ) . Sidney Lumet was probably the worst choice for a director of an all-black mus...
550,518
989,035
94,597
2
Almost worth seeing for Sandy Dennis . . .
The scant few teenagers who went to see " 976-EVIL " in 1989 probably had no idea who Sandy Dennis was ( just as the kids who first saw " Carrie " didn't know who Piper Laurie was ) , but the veteran actress manages to bring a few minutes of class to an otherwise lousy , fifth-rate screamer about a nerdy high school ki...
553,057
989,035
71,634
2
A good director's worst film . . .
Talented filmmaker J . Lee Thompson stages this musical version of Mark Twain's " The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn " with artificial verve , and nothing in it looks quite right or plays at the appropriate tempo . Stolen from his guardians by his own delinquent father , Huckleberry Finn stages his own death and hits t...
551,452
989,035
166,252
2
Blandly pleasant
Divorced single mom in picturesque seaside town finds an anonymous love letter and allows it to spur into action her dormant love life . Pet project for actress / co-producer Kate Capshaw , who gives a warm , nicely-modulated lead performance , yet this story is so slim and the direction and editing so erratic that a f...
552,022
989,035
71,577
2
Positively embalmed
F . Scott Fitzgerald's celebrated novel about king of Long Island high society in the 1920s ( and his rocky relationship with a married beauty ) comes to the screen in the 1970s via the hand of Francis Ford Coppola ( as writer ) and star-leads Robert Redford and Mia Farrow . So why is it so bloody awful ? Could be the ...
550,810
989,035
106,453
2
Just what Madonna wanted to be - - the latest Sharon Stone knock-off
Trashy sex-melodrama might've been much more fun had it the slightest sense of humor ; alas , all the laughs here are unintentional , and the straight-faced actors just end up looking foolish . Willem Dafoe seems on auto-pilot throughout , cast as a Defense Attorney opposite Madonna , playing a woman who is suspected o...
553,635
989,035
335,438
2
Recreation of the series or just a dumb action-comedy ?
Misguided theatrical version of the hit TV series from the ' 70s , this " Starsky & Hutch " isn't well-equipped with the right materials to make it successful as updated nostalgia ( it's just another brainless cop flick with comedic asides ) . One thing is certain , the tough-yet-tender-hearted TV cops never engaged in...
552,596
989,035
51,978
2
It's nakedly dead . . .
From Norman Mailer's celebrated book about kill-happy Army sergeant in the Pacific , 1943 . In the lead , handsome Aldo Ray gets a chance to show his swagger portraying a man doing battle with the enemy as well as with himself and his own men ; otherwise , this glum effort is War-is-Hell routine . Bernard Herrmann's sc...
550,494
989,035
52,059
2
Perfectly stupid . . .
Another let-down for Tony Curtis fans . Here , he's an Army Corporal stationed at an Arctic outpost who gets a Parisian furlough with sexy Argentine movie actress Linda Cristal , who is secretly pregnant . Would-be bedroom romp never does get saucy . Director Blake Edwards bides his time with his usual padding and gimm...
550,695
989,035
59,878
2
Teen sci-fi does the Watusi in the mud !
Juvenile swingers get a dressing down after growing to gigantic heights . 20 years ago , our local TV channel 9 used to show this dreck every other month - - and even as a kid , I wondered why everyone's reactions were sooo slooow ( the drowsy actors seem as though they're underwater ) . Tommy Kirk ( the only teenager ...
553,534
989,035
52,121
2
Exotic title for low-rent goods
Trashy , trashy Esther Williams drama , made in Italy and financed for about fifty bucks , has Williams playing surly American model working abroad whose light plane crashes on a small island near Sardinia ; there , she butts heads with handsome , reclusive playboy who is hiding from the world . A pretty pathetic soape...
551,944
989,035
59,903
2
Woody Allen-scripted vehicle for the two Peters is completely out of gas
Surprisingly flat comedy about a girl-crazy fashion magazine editor and his eccentric psychiatrist , and their adventures with mini-skirted birds . Peter O'Toole is game but miscast ; Peter Sellers , in an exaggerated Beatles wig , seems constricted by the mostly unfunny screenplay , his personality never coming to a f...
552,059
989,035
79,822
2
Beach Party on wheels
As silly as those " Beach Party " movies from the mid-'60s could get , at least they had energetic casts and funny screwball comedy . " Roller Boogie " does have a curly-topped Linda Blair , but backs her up with a bunch of long-in-the-tooth teen-nobodys and awful disco music on the soundtrack . Jim Bray , real-life sk...
552,931
989,035
86,361
2
The original " Showgirls " . . .
John Travolta's career slump in real-life must have precipitated this resurrecting of the Tony Manero character from 1977's " Saturday Night Fever " . Actually , aside from Travolta's return as Manero , there's little connection between the two films , with director Sylvester Stallone ( ! ) turning the scenario into an...
553,452
989,035
51,767
2
Claustrophobia sets in by reel two . . .
Frightfully dull , colorless comedy-drama about an Army sergeant in WWII France who hopes to preserve combat morale by impersonating the recently-killed General Officer . One-idea script is shot just like a play , with unimaginative camera set-ups and a stodgy , static direction . In the leading role , Glenn Ford is am...
552,434
989,035
59,637
2
A dynamic duo with only one weakness . . . bullets
Masked Los Angeles crime-fighters Rat Pfink a ( nd ) Boo Boo come to the rescue after Rat Pfink's alter-ego , rock ' n roll singer Lonnie Lord , finds out his sweetheart has been kidnapped by hammer-and-chain link wielding street thugs . Director Ray Dennis Steckler wastes a lot of camera film ( and probably a bundle o...
552,992
989,035
86,143
2
Uninspired raunch . . .
A group of horny young guys get dressed up in drag to invade a girl's dormitory . . . boy , there's an original idea , and there's more limp sleaze to come in this collection of teen-raunch clichés . Has a decent cast for this type of fare ( I always enjoy Phoebe Cates , although she tends to visibly struggle without t...
553,522
989,035
120,523
2
Lackluster dud from Sundance . . .
Undistinguished , straight-to-tape comedy-drama about a group of young people in New York hoping to find true love , apparently made by a gang of Hollywood friends just out to have a little fun . It's a competently-made but forgettable trifle financed by Miramax and developed by The Sundance Institute , none of whom co...
552,233
989,035
110,687
2
Offbeat , to be certain , but just not funny . . .
Director Rob Reiner in eccentric spirits , but not quite getting the offbeat laughs and sentimental subtext he was going for . Extremely unfunny fantasy concerns unappreciated youngster who receives emancipation from his parents under the proviso he find a new set of guardians within 2 months . Celebrity-studded misfir...
552,660
989,035
33,117
2
Impossible material doesn't play on the screen . . .
Curious , but completely shallow comedy-drama , adapted from Rachel Crothers ' play and directed by George Cuckor no less . Joan Crawford stars in the practically-unplayable role of Susan , a wealthy , silly socialite who gets religion . Susan tries turning her nitwit friends onto God , making her an outcast with the c...
553,460
989,035
59,199
2
Fruity title , wonderful presentation , but sadly , a stiff . . .
A shapely intergalactic princess ( complete with fancy head-dress ) and her spaceship co-horts land on Earth to kidnap nubile women for " breeding purposes " ; in a sub-story , a man-made astronaut who was designed to defeat the aliens has been damaged and is now a psychotic killing machine on the loose ! Wild low-budg...
552,090
989,035
384,642
2
Will Ferrell gets stuck in Formula Movie hell . . .
Kicking and Screaming must have been made for moviegoers suffering from short-term memory loss . How else to explain the basic pandering of parents - bonding - with - kids - over - sports scenario that has been done a million times before in one sports format or another ? This time it's pee-wee soccer , and the movie...
551,380
989,035
120,434
2
What went wrong ? ?
Completely lackluster comedy , the fourth ( and hopefully the last ) in the financially successful " Vacation " pantheon has Chevy Chase back as goofy dad Clark Griswold , taking his family on another adventure , leaving the suburbs for the lights of Las Vegas . A couple of big laughs - - and a game attempt to keep it ...
552,343
989,035
120,382
2
An unattractive idea , given an unfocused treatment
Rarely have I seen a major motion picture that looked as awful as this one does . We get the fact that modern suburbia is supposed to look like a plastic paradise out of a TV commercial , but the colors here are tepid , the camera set-ups dull and unimaginative , and the direction mechanical and without a hint of inspi...
550,470
989,035
120,783
2
Excruciating Nancy Meyers-Charles Shyer hokum . . .
Smarmy , downright unnecessary Disney remake of their own 1961 classic about separated eleven-year-old twin sisters who meet for the first time at summer camp and devise a way to bring their divorced folks back together . Young Lindsay Lohan ( playing both girls , as did Hayley Mills in the original ) is a perky , but ...
551,750
989,035
219,653
2
The 2 , 000th version of " Dracula " ?
Put the blame on executive producer Wes Craven and financiers the Weinsteins for this big-budget debacle : a thrash-metal updating of " Dracula " , with a condescending verbal jab at Bram Stoker ( who probably wouldn't want his name on this thing anyway ) and nothing much for the rest of us except slasher-styled jolts ...
552,854
989,035
41,498
2
Hapless comedy , proving even Hawks and Grant can have an off day . . .
Incredibly weak wartime farce . Army Captain Cary Grant and his sweetheart , Lieutenant Ann Sheridan , get married overseas , but they soon discover they cannot return to the States together because of his French citizenship . The solution ? Dress the captain up as a woman and take advantage of the Immigration of War B...
550,520
989,035
89,798
2
Subscriptions to Rolling Stone magazine must've taken a hit after this one . . .
John Travolta tries his best as writer for Rolling Stone magazine hoping to finish an unflattering piece on the faddish California health club scene , but complications arise after he falls in love with a sexy , sensitive aerobics instructor . Perfect-ly awful drama , shallow and dated , is surprisingly cynical about R...
553,160
989,035
120,663
2
Kubrick's cop-out : there's no sting in the writing , and hardly a chill in the air . . .
Eyes Wide Shut looks great but never comes together . It has an impossibly long build-up which strives to tell us that a wealthy , seemingly happy married couple have cracks in their facade , which sends the husband " out into the night " . Filmmaker Stanley Kubrick has shown tremendous talent with his actors , but e...
553,606
989,035
120,685
2
Sell it on its size - - the rest will take care of itself . . .
Clumsy , elephantine monster-movie remake of a 1954 Japanese cult classic ; an overachieving , multiplex-equivalent of a drive-in theater quickie . Mass hysteria grips the world after a mysterious terror causes destruction and death near Panama ; biologist Matthew Broderick is lured away from his Chernobyl earthworms t...
553,389
989,035
120,694
2
Depressing , dispiriting hack-'em-up
A sad botch of a sequel ( in a film canon that's had more than its share ) , featuring Jamie Lee Curtis in a return to role as Laurie Strode , one-time babysitter , now headmistress of a private school , facing down bogeyman Michael Myers one final time . Thriller has a nice cushy budget and some smarts and satire at t...
550,963
989,035
50,184
2
You're strictly O . T . L . with girls !
Atrocious college comedy follows a group of campus goof-offs who do little but chase after girls . One of the most idiotic scenes in movie musicals has to be Pat Boone , in the boys locker room , instructing Richard ( Dick ) Sargent on the art of picking up chicks , crooning " Technique " a la Harry Belafonte . Boone ,...
553,650
989,035
89,469
2
Certainly imaginative . . . but it's perplexing instead of exciting
Fantasy story from screenwriter William Hjortsberg has powerful , evil Darkness plotting to overtake Light , personified in unicorns . An eyeful to be sure , but occasionally heavy or silly , with Tom Cruise dreadfully out of place in this Grimm-like setting playing commoner Jack in love with princess Mia Sara . Cruise...
552,362
989,035
80,881
2
Pre - " Porky's " smut
Tony Danza and Michelle Pfeiffer are ostensibly the stars of " The Hollywood Knights " , but cheap , flashy Robert Wuhl walks away with the picture ( though that's not a mean feat ) . Playing hell-raising youth Newbomb Turk , Wuhl is glinty-eyed like a mischievous pervert , causing non-stop comic chaos on Halloween in ...
550,831
989,035
41,255
2
Another dud from Robert Montgomery . . .
Poor second-string feature from Universal Pictures about a mama's boy movie actor doing criminal investigation work for the military , fending off the advances of the brash young woman he's been assigned to romance . Robert Montgomery directed and stars in this adaptation of the short story " Come Be My Love " , and hi...
553,176
989,035
105,165
3
Unconventional , perhaps . . . but still rigidly part of an unconventional formula
Craig Lucas adapted his own hit play about a nervous newlywed ( Meg Ryan ) inadvertently exchanging souls just after the wedding ceremony with a lonely , elderly man via a magical smooch . Lucas works hard trying to keep his script free from the often-tread " body switching movie " genre , but he has nothing else to fa...
551,326
989,035
466,909
3
Jazzier violence , otherwise pointless . . .
It's almost impossible to discuss this remake of the 1976 thriller without constantly comparing the two versions - - it's a very basic updating , using much of the same screenplay and yet upping the ante on the violence ( for that extra , " Final Destination " - like kick ) . An American Ambassador and his wife living ...
552,262
989,035
87,988
3
No sting in forgettable Farrah vehicle . . .
This TV film , about an attorney trying to nab a crooked kingpin by purchasing a House of Ill Repute , was appropriately ignored upon its debut and today is hardly recalled . It must have dampened Farrah Fawcett's spirit to slip this dumb thing in between her off-Broadway show " Extremities " and the landmark TV drama ...
550,853
989,035
105,009
3
Mediocre , straight-to-tape action flick
Disgruntled cop Kris Kristofferson ( looking good sans beard and mustache ) protects a sassy teenage girl ( Drew Barrymore ) from the killers who just did away with her sister , a professional ballerina who was killed during a performance . Barrymore's character ( named " Tinsel " ! ) is tough to take , with lots of wh...
552,167
989,035
70,633
3
a pre - " Charlie's Angels " gathering in a devil's den . . .
Campy title for a rather mundane Aaron Spelling spook show has the sister of a suicide enrolling in a private school for young women to uncover the truth about what occurred there . Two of the students are Kate Jackson and Cheryl Ladd , future TV detectives ( too bad David Doyle's Bosley isn't around to referee the cat...
551,055
989,035
112,642
3
Beetlejuice wanna-be . . .
An unfortunate waste of a potentially good opportunity : a pilferation of the Harvey Comics staple about a friendly ghost looking for friends , and the loner teen and her father who take up residence in the mansion haunted by Casper and other apparitions of the boo-and-cackle variety . As Roger Ebert pointed out at the...
551,153
989,035
61,398
3
Circus murders and Joan Crawford looking aghast - - oh , the horror !
Joan Crawford made some decent ( if routine ) thrillers after the success of " What Ever Happened to Baby Jane ? " , but " Berserk ! " isn't one of them . A scream-filled , British-made heap of horror clichés , the plot involves a traveling circus beset with a psychopathic killer . Crawford runs the carnage-ridden carn...
551,918
989,035
77,942
3
Get out your magnifying glass and you can catch a few glimpses of truth in the screenplay
Wretched , empty romantic drama gives the word ' shallow ' a whole new face . Soon-to-be-divorced Malibu housewife ( Lily Tomlin ) wanders around Hollywood and the beach , running her fingers through her hair , coddling her mutt and rubbing her forehead ; seems a stud like John Travolta is just what she needs , but he'...
550,506
989,035
52,293
3
Sleepwalking programmer . . .
Robert Mitchum stars in and developed the story for this popular drive-in entry about a moonshine family in the south harassed by U . S . treasurers and gangsters . Despite authentic locales and great hillbilly music , this B-flick is short on exciting action and long on dreary talk and character conflict . Stilted dir...