reviewId int64 363k 588k | userId int64 33.9k 15.9M | itemId int64 1 1.42M | rating float64 1 10 | title stringlengths 1 10.9k ⌀ | content stringlengths 81 11.6k ⌀ |
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469,907 | 1,532,177 | 94,611 | 1 | Inaccurate , Contrived And Full Of Plot Holes | ! ! ! ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! ! ! ! ! - And no I'm not making any of this upMy first and only viewing of ACT OF BETRAYAL was way back in 1988 and it's a sign of an extremely poor mini series that I can still remember all its flaws 15 years on The central plot alone is a major problem : IRA man Michael McGurk turns supergras... |
469,766 | 1,532,177 | 300,214 | 1 | Utter And Absolute Garbage | As other people on this page have pointed out the plot for MORVERN CALLAR is thus : Girl wakes up to find her boyfriend has committed suicide . He leaves her his unpublished novel . She sells it . The end . There's hardly enough material there for a short film never mind a feature length movie and this fact becomes mor... |
468,998 | 1,532,177 | 117,492 | 1 | Galveston Oh Galveston | Apologies if the above summary doesn't tie in with the rest of the review but the title reminded me of the Glenn Campbell song . Truth be told singalonga Glenn was th only pleasure I got while watching this dire TVM . A black woman called Jordan decides to open a care home in order to make some money . Not a very excit... |
468,475 | 1,532,177 | 261,655 | 1 | Oh Dear | I wish to confess to being a DOCTOR WHO fan but when I see something like DIMENSIONS IN TIME I feel nothing but shame and deep embarrassment at being a fan . Okay I know that this nothing more than a filler during the BBC's annual children In Need appeal that is not to be taken seriously but that didn't stop my skin tu... |
470,289 | 1,532,177 | 240,515 | 1 | Neds Only | A conversation I overheard in Rothesay on the Isle Of Bute : 1st Ned : Wassa film called man ? 2nd Ned : Freddy got fingered man . It's fin ' brilliant man . You should watch it man , it's a good laugh manWhat's a ned ? It's a common expression in Scotland . It should actually be written in capital letters since it's a... |
468,499 | 1,532,177 | 249,238 | 1 | Why Does Britain Bother . . . . | . . . to continually produce badly scripted movies ? Make no mistake , the core problem with THE WEDDING TACKLE is the screenplay . Didn't anyone notice before they started shooting that this film has no premise , no plot and is full of under developed characters ? As soon as the movie started I thought I was going to ... |
469,636 | 1,532,177 | 460,829 | 1 | Without Doubt One Of The Worst Movies Ever Produced | It wasn't my idea to watch INLAND EMPIRE . I kind of got talked into by some very nice people who I respect very much . I respect them so much I will not embarrass them by giving out their names but they know who they are and they're going to the cinema to see Nuri Bilge Ceylan's IKHIMLER next week and because of their... |
469,639 | 1,532,177 | 82,276 | 1 | A Truly Great Motion Picture . . . | . . . If all you look for in a motion picture is people getting their stomachs ripped open and their hearts eaten ! Hey you don't honestly think I was gonna give DON'T GO NEAR THE PARK a good write up do you ? How on earth can anyone enjoy a movie which comes in a video box with a blood drenched man guzzling a human he... |
468,652 | 1,532,177 | 212,277 | 1 | Not Really A Horror Movie | I think there's a straight to video film called OCTOPUS which spends the first half of its running time being an action packed thriller ( Or meekly tries to ) then all of a sudden turns into a horror movie about a giant octopus . Well it's the same with PORTRAIT OF A VAMPIRE which opens with a very brief scene with a J... |
468,811 | 1,532,177 | 70,423 | 2 | This Film Is Sick | Original is not a word to describe THE MUTATIONS . To sum up its plot it's a hybrid between a mad scientist film and FREAKS . Unoriginality is not enough to condemn it of course , but what makes THE MUTATIONS a truly terrible film is the fact that it's so sickening . When Tod Browning made FREAKS in the 1930s disabilty... |
469,643 | 1,532,177 | 109,040 | 2 | Is This A Family Comedy ? | You have to worry about how some producers market a movie . ACE VENTURA PET DETECTIVE is a case in point . It's about a detective who loves animals , he keeps all sorts of furry and feathered friends in his house and there's nothing more family friendly than a movie featuring lovely animals , you can just see the littl... |
470,117 | 1,532,177 | 147,612 | 2 | Happiness Is A Warm Gun . . . . | . . . . Sang both The Beatles and The Breeders and after seeing this black comedy I thought sticking a gun in my mouth would be more preferable than sitting through this movie . What's it about ? Well some of it follows a man ( I use that word in its loosest sense of course ) who likes to have mono-sex while talking on... |
469,622 | 1,532,177 | 118,577 | 2 | Anyone Can Put Terrorism On The Screen . . . . | . . . . Indeed they can sir , same as anyone can put a crap movie on the screen too , but to be able to a film as gut wrenchingly bad as BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN onto the screen must have been the work of an insane genius . Think about the premise for a moment - It's a mockumentary featuring director Alan Smithee , it's a m... |
469,891 | 1,532,177 | 101,368 | 2 | Part Lizard , Part Psycho , All Crap | The TV guide described the plot of SEVERED TIES as thus : " An experiment on a severed arm goes awry " so right away I thought this was going to be about an arm that's got a mind of its own as seen in THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS or THE HAND or someone getting an arm transplant as in BODY PARTS . Both premises are tried... |
469,292 | 1,532,177 | 118,772 | 2 | Wow . Russell And Salma In The Same Movie . . . | . . . Was my initial reaction but BREAKING UP is a bit of a turkey . To all intents and purposes this is an inferior WHEN HARRY MET SALLY for a younger generation . It's episodic and never feels convincing , but the worst criticism I have is that the two stars never shine on screen . Maybe if Crowe's character beat up ... |
469,044 | 1,532,177 | 66,212 | 2 | I Can't Believe The High Rating | Heist movies play out in an identical formula : Character A meets character B who introduces them to character C . They pull off a scam and it becomes a race for characters A , B and C to stab each other in the back The only difference between PERFECT Friday and other heist movies is that this one is possibly the worst... |
470,359 | 1,532,177 | 83,550 | 2 | Written And Directed By Prof Richard Dawkins Perhaps ? | I wasn't expecting much from this so called prequel since the original was fairly bad but I didn't expect it to be this terrible First of all we're introduced to a family whose house is haunted by an evil spirit but I wonder how much spirits the producers consumed to make a movie this bad ? Watch the opening half hour ... |
470,188 | 1,532,177 | 281,811 | 2 | A Real Disaster Of A Movie | ! ! ! ! ! MILD SPOILERS ! ! ! ! ! Suppose you were in deadly danger and needed to be totally anon , what would you do ? If you answered " Hide in a cave " you'd probably be right . If you answered something along the lines of " Become a singing sensation at a Las Vegas casino " then you'd probably be carted off somewhe... |
469,478 | 1,532,177 | 118,698 | 2 | Pretentious Rubbish | If like me you live in Britain and stay up late you often find obscure films being shown on Channel 4 . One night I stayed up and by chance watched BENT . After I watched I realised I should try going to bed earlyBENT starts off bizarrely with transvestites parading around one of which is Sir Mick Jagger so I was expec... |
468,683 | 1,532,177 | 70,615 | 2 | Put The Brakes On This | Ah yes disaster movies a favourite film genre of the 1970s when megastars and prestigious character actors would all slum together on a film featuring lots of exciting and spectacular deaths . RUNAWAY is a disaster movie ( Well TVM ) from the 1970s but suffers from three major flaws : 1 ) There's no megastars 2 ) With ... |
468,618 | 1,532,177 | 132,245 | 2 | Makes THE FAST AND FURIOUS Look Like GONE WITH THE WIN | What did Sylvester Stallone do in order to be credited as writing the screenplay ? I was under the impression that there's no screenplay involved and certainly no story . All that seems to happen in this movie is that a young hunky racing driver called Jimmy drives round a racing track against a musical soundtrack , Ji... |
470,283 | 1,532,177 | 256,103 | 2 | Plot ? What Plot ? | What's the point this film is trying to make ? I don't get it , a woman comes round to a man's house , they have sex and boy are they having sex , man follows the woman around and that's basically it . Is there a plot involved ? No . Are the characters sympathetic ? No . Would you want to watch this with your family ? ... |
468,646 | 1,532,177 | 105,344 | 2 | Not THE BREAKFAST CLU | A few people on this page have compared SECRETS to a sort of Aussie 60s version of THE BREAKFAST CLUB but I have to steadfastly disagree . THE BREAKFAST CLUB was one of those productions that Hollywood used to churn out in the mid 1980s in order to sell a few records . SECRETS has an entirely different feel to it , in ... |
469,709 | 1,532,177 | 113,074 | 2 | Was This Ever A HELLRAISER Sequel ? | Director of FIST OF THE NORTH STAR Tony Randel and screenwriter Peter Atkins were the two men who made HELLBOUND : HELLRAISER 2 . They were also the two men responsible for making that movie an incoherent mess , a good description of this movie too since I had no idea what this movie was supposed to be about or indeed ... |
469,170 | 1,532,177 | 105,428 | 2 | Based On An Unpublished Stephen King Story . . . . | . . . . And after seeing this pile of crap you won't be surprised that it wasn't published ! ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! ! ! This is a terrible movie by any standards but when I point out that it's one of the worst movies that has the name Stephen King in the credits you can start to imagine how bad it is . The movie starts of ... |
468,431 | 1,532,177 | 105,459 | 2 | One Of The Worst British Horror Movies Ever | Sorry to disappoint all the reviewers who think this is an intentionally funny film - It's not . I read in a horror magazine that the script for SPLIT SECOND ( Which strangely did rather well at the US box office ) was originally written as a serial killer on the loose in LA . This would explain why none of this film m... |
469,536 | 1,532,177 | 87,727 | 2 | Even RAMBO Was Better | Former ' Nam veteran goes back into the jungle to save American POWs from nasty commie scum . Hey didn't Sly Stallone . . . . ? Believe it or not this film managed to offend me more than RAMBO : FIRST BLOOD PART 2 . Both films show the Vietnamese as being cruel , stupid incompetent communist vermin but MIA shows a Viet... |
468,849 | 1,532,177 | 105,217 | 2 | Very Unlikable | Oh dear , a thriller about a deranged man who kidnaps children . What's not to like ? Apart from the premise you mean ? Three other things1 ) Dream sequences - The film drowns in these sequences . Someone dreams they're being murdered and they wake it and discover it was all a bad dream . I was actually shocked that th... |
469,666 | 1,532,177 | 100,975 | 2 | Yawn | I hated the original XTRO but I did recognise there's something bizarrely unique about it and that it does have a cult following , but there's nothing unique about this " Sequel " it's just an ALIENS clone with only Paul Koslo treating the film with the contempt it deserves . In fact it's not even bad enough to be good... |
469,906 | 1,532,177 | 118,452 | 2 | Seen It All Before | Space debris falls from the sky and begins to infect people by controlling them . Where have I seen that plot before ? let me see now THE PUPPET MASTERS , THE BLOB , THE THING , the first three QUATERMASS serials , INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS and umpteen DOCTOR WHO stories . It's impossible not to be reminded of the... |
469,411 | 1,532,177 | 256,155 | 2 | The Horror | To say this is a JAWS rip off does not do justice as to how bad this is , in fact the only compatant bits are the monster P . O . V shots stolen from the JAWS franchise . This is film making at its absolute nadir , it'd be impossible to make a film worse than this on purpose . Everyone has already commented the mistake... |
469,488 | 1,532,177 | 65,556 | 2 | One Pilot That Deserved To Crash | Interesting to see that a lot of people liked this when they were kids . I first saw it one Saturday night in the late 1970s and actually liked it . After a gap of over 25 years I saw it again this afternoon and thought it absolutely sucked The very first scene features a special effect that wouldn't have been allowed ... |
469,000 | 1,532,177 | 175,526 | 2 | Very Disappointing | I'm not much of a fan of horror movies but I looked forward to seeing CHERRY FALLS simply because the director Geoffry Wright is the man who brought us ROMPER STOMPER , a movie that brings a whole new meaning to violent realism . Alas CHERRY FALLS is a major disappointment . I don't know what it is about gifted non Ame... |
468,580 | 1,532,177 | 213,149 | 2 | Hollywood At Its Worst | I wasted three hours of my life watching this crap . Sure as hell I won't be wasting too much time writing a long review . I hated this movie , it's so full of anachronisms and cliches and I'm so glad everyone else has pointed them out , but the two ones that made me laugh were Josh Hartnett announcing " World War Two ... |
468,924 | 1,532,177 | 272,557 | 2 | A Film So Silly It Will Make You Sick | ! ! ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! ! ! ! A man shoots the US president with a dart containing an infectious agent . What a stupid premise for a film . If someone wanted the president dead why didn't they shoot him with one of those old fashioned bullets made out of lead ? And just how easy would it be to shoot the president ? I kn... |
468,632 | 1,532,177 | 160,184 | 2 | It's Enough To Make You Turn To Drink | The premise for this story involves a bunch of people stuck in a snowbound location where they get killed one by one . How original . And being a Stallone movie I wasn't expecting much but D-TOX lived down to all my low hopes . What we have is a dumb , very dumb , reworking of THE THING with lots of paranoid people run... |
469,084 | 1,532,177 | 245,348 | 2 | Terrible Attempt At Comedy | It was Jon Pertwee who said " It's very difficult to be funny but very easy to be silly " . Well if that's the case PASTY FACES is " Very easy " . David Baker ( As Director / Screenwriter ) and his cast seem to be under the impression that comedy involves stealing scenes and style from superior Britcoms like LOCK STOCK... |
469,749 | 1,532,177 | 222,171 | 2 | It Was Hell To Sit Through | The TV guide said this involved " Sex , aliens and killer bees " so I canceled everything to watch it . After doing so I decided the only thing I'd be canceling in future was the TV guide MILD SPOILERS Writing out a brief premise of the plot it reads like something from THE X-FILES : An ultra secret government organiza... |
468,597 | 1,532,177 | 313,016 | 2 | The Flesh Is Weak - So's The Rest Of This Movie | ! ! ! ! ! MILD SPOILERS ! ! ! ! ! I guess on paper the plot of SAINT SINNER resembles a sort of supernatural TERMINATOR with a 19th century monk goiing forward to the 21st century to pursue a couple of succubi , but the 19th century lacks any sense of time and place and the characters seem to be played as though they'r... |
469,476 | 1,532,177 | 245,674 | 2 | Gave Me A Headache | The opening scene of 13 GHOSTS instantly reminded me of umpteen other sources . The scrapyard reminded me of Freddy's resurrection in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 , and with the involvement of a secret paramilitary organisation I couldn't help but be reminded of these pre credit hooks in THE X-FILES . An ethereal voice ? ... |
469,915 | 1,532,177 | 87,222 | 2 | Rather Nasty And Lacking In Character Development | Does anyone remember the alternative comedy show THE COMIC STRIP PRESENTS . One edition featured Charles Bronson ( Robbie Coltrane ) being interviewed about his new movie GLC : " It's about a man , an ordinary man whose wife and family gets wiped out by creeps and I have to hunt them down and kill them in a sadistic an... |
470,047 | 1,532,177 | 87,229 | 2 | One Of The Worst Sequels Ever Made | THE EXTERMINATOR is one of the most memorable films I've seen . Okay it's by no means a groundbreaking masterwork of cinema but it does appeal to the wish fufilment in human beings of wanting to rid the world of scum . EXTERMINATOR 2 is also memorable . That's because it's one of the worst films ever made . If you've n... |
468,368 | 1,532,177 | 117,786 | 2 | Jackie Fans Only | In MR NICE GUY as it's called in Britain Jackie Chan plays a TV chef who finds himself caught up in intrigue involving gangsters and a missing video cassette . I say " intrigue " but that's maybe misleading because we are talking Jackie Chan here and as you would expect we are treated ( Another misleading word ) to Jac... |
470,295 | 1,532,177 | 95,990 | 2 | It's Not A Comedy | It's strange but a lot of people seem to be under the impression that this is a " comedy horror " but due to rather poor production values involving writing , directing and acting I cant help thinking the producers started the film off as a run of a mill horror film , realised it was going nowhere and rather cheekily d... |
469,149 | 1,532,177 | 265,104 | 2 | The Info Button Was Wrong | After pressing the info button on my remote control the onscreen caption read : " Moody visuals , subterranean S & M clubs and Nazis in a stylish and inventive thriller " . It's not often the info button is accurate describing a film but it outdid itself in artistic license this time . " Moody visuals " means either pe... |
470,046 | 1,532,177 | 83,291 | 2 | I Watched This With My Parents ! ! ! ! ! ! | One thing I remember when home video rental took off was people would hire films they'd never heard of , the only way you'd get an idea of what the film was like was reading the blurb on the back which often wouldn't do justice as to how bad the film was , and let me say no blurb could ever do justice as to how awful T... |
468,876 | 1,532,177 | 265,087 | 2 | It Ryhmes With The Word " Knight " | The plot for BLACK KNIGHT isn't all that different to a plot to a soft core porn film I once saw that starred Gabrielle Hall . Jamal Walker works in a theme park called Medievel World and by the power of magic finds himself back in not so merry olde England There's two things I wish to point out and that is the synopsi... |
469,710 | 1,532,177 | 117,992 | 2 | Unlikable And Dumb | ! ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! ! ! Nice to see some of the comments on this page point out that TWILIGHT MAN falls apart if you think about it too much . I'm amazed that more people haven't pointed out the ridiculous amount of plot holes since this one very dumb movie Tim Matheson plays Jordan Cooper whose home is under secret s... |
468,449 | 1,532,177 | 884,237 | 2 | No Wonder It Has Such A Low Mark | When you're watching the Zone Horror Channel you're not expecting much in the way of masterpieces . The channel shows an incredible amount of rubbish and much of it is barely watchable rubbish . Add this movie to being amongst the worst of the worst Zone horror has to offerCARNIVOROUS starts off with a bunch of people ... |
469,841 | 1,532,177 | 166,379 | 2 | Brain Dead | MILD SPOILERS Catherine Oxenberg plays Sarah McKinney , an abused spouse whose husband is shot dead by their infant son and is sent to jail for the killing where she is forced to become a stripper at a sleazy club . What's that you're shouting at me ? Oh you're calling me a liar and saying I've just made up the plot fo... |
470,272 | 1,532,177 | 60,176 | 2 | 1960s Crap | I live on an island which means a half hour journey on a ferry to travel to the mainland . One morning several years ago I bumped into a chap I knew called Derek who was doing a media course at college . Derek decided to show me his work from the course and one of his essays was on the 1966 film BLOWUP . " Blowup " I s... |
470,099 | 1,532,177 | 236,034 | 2 | Too Crude And No Cohesion | Who said romance is dead ? Probably the same idiot who said the British film industry of 2000 was in successful form . BORN ROMANTIC proves that it wasn't and for the last ten tears Britain has been making far too many of these underdeveloped flops . For every FULL MONTY or 28 DAYS LATER there's about ten THE LIFE OF S... |
468,508 | 1,532,177 | 117,663 | 2 | A Bad Idea | The problem with THE SLAB BOYS is the limited appeal . It's based on a stage play - And boy does it show with its static locations - set in a Paisley dye factory in the late 1950s . I know Paisley fairly better than the majority of IMDB members because I used to shop there for clothes , but watching a film about a Pais... |
470,106 | 1,532,177 | 166,252 | 2 | Spielberg By Proxy | THE LOVE LETTER was made the studio Dreamworks . Do you know who founded Dreamworks ? Steven Spielberg . THE LOVE LETTER stars Kate Capshaw as the main protagonist . Do you know who Kate Capshaw is married to in real life ? Steven Spielberg . I couldn't help pointing this out because despite having no on screen credit ... |
468,628 | 1,532,177 | 257,510 | 2 | What Strange Names | ! ! ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! ! ! ! There's two things that guarantee you're going be watching a really bad movie . One is the name Victor Salva appearing in the credits and the other is the movie starting off in a way that seems to go against the movie's title . Take CROCODILE 2 : DEATH SWAMP , with a title like that you'd e... |
469,325 | 1,532,177 | 106,453 | 2 | One Of The Worst Courtroom Dramas Ever Made | If you're still unsure that Hollywood execs have no creative ideas then get yourself a time machine and go back to the early to mid 1990s to a time when nearly every studio release was composed of a " person from hell movie 2 be they a doctor , a cop , a flatmate , a jilted lover etc who would terrorize an innocent or ... |
469,321 | 1,532,177 | 106,438 | 2 | Gives Cult Film Making A Bad Name | Blue . It's a colour so cruel sang The Fine Young Cannibals . BLUE by Derek Jarman can't be described as being cruel in anyway , but that's probably the kindest thing I can say about this movie , I can find a thousand adjectives none of them complimentary to describe BLUE . The idea of art for arts sake sickens me an... |
469,609 | 1,532,177 | 192,071 | 2 | Producers Should Show Teenagers More Respect | The problem I had with GET OVER IT was that it's marketed for a teenage audience . There's nothing wrong with this in principle ( Though I have to confess with some bitterness that it's been nearly twenty years since I last qualified as a teenager ) it's just that the marketing seems to have taken up more of the studio... |
469,459 | 1,532,177 | 106,379 | 2 | A Terrible And Meaningless Narrative | BEING HUMAN starts with two off screen characters in conversation with each other which does give the movie an unwanted light hearted tone . We're then introduced to Hector ( Robin Williams ) who is looking after his two children in a period of history that feels like the dark ages . Then a ship sails into view which h... |
468,612 | 1,532,177 | 222,719 | 2 | Not Much Pleasure To Be Had | What can I say about THE PLEASURE PLANET that I haven't said about umpteen other tedious soft core porn films ? Very little . It's just another movie with a very weak plot used to set up very unconvincing set scenes between male non actors who spend too much time in the gym and bimbos who have obviously had silicon imp... |
468,625 | 1,532,177 | 280,870 | 2 | What's With The Second Amendment ? | I had absolutely no idea what LIBERTY STILL STANDS was going to be about before I saw it on Sky movies ( Hardly surprising since it went straight to video in so many countries including Britain ) , so as the title sequence started there's qoutes from the American second amendment cut into the graphics including the qou... |
468,501 | 1,532,177 | 117,420 | 2 | Directed By Jean Claude Van Dumb | THE QUEST is directed by and stars Jean Claude Van Damme and watching this movie I was struck by the opening scenes which have a passing resemblance to Sergio Leone's ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA , but don't build your hopes up , we're not going to be watching a masterpiece of American cinema and as soon as Jean Claude ... |
469,991 | 1,532,177 | 75,164 | 2 | Dire | Seems I'm not the only person who stays up late watching horror movies judging by the comments on this page . It is very reassuring to know that I'm not alone in doing this and it's not surprise at all that I'm not alone in thinking SATAN'S SLAVE is a really crap horror movieAfter the not unimpressive credit sequence w... |
470,300 | 1,532,177 | 157,503 | 2 | Dead On Its Feet Would Be A Better Title | With the success of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT ( Well financial success , artistically that film was crap ) I'm surprised that more people didn't jump on the band wagon of making spoof documentaries , but if DROP DEAD GORGEOUS is anything to go by I'm very glad they didn't . As at least one other reviewer pointed out the ... |
469,473 | 1,532,177 | 44,418 | 2 | Red McQueen ! | Seeing as this film is about John Wayne saving the world from commie scum I burst out laughing at the credits which listed one of the actors as Red McQueen ! Red Mcqueen ! , an actor called Red in a film starring John Wayne saving humanity from the horrors of communism ! I'm surprised the Duke didn't have him shot on t... |
470,213 | 1,532,177 | 120,841 | 2 | The Turkey Has Landed | Press Lenox walks into a room and is shocked to see Sil , but not as shocked as I was to find that someone wanted to make a sequel to a less than average SF thriller . With a few notable exceptions sequels are inferior products and FAECES 2 continues the traditionDoes anyone remember NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2 ? If you ... |
468,459 | 1,532,177 | 218,542 | 2 | One Of The Worst Films I've Seen | The TV guide described this as " Fast and furious " , well I'd describe this film as diahorrea because it's fast and furious faeces . I wasn't expecting it to be up to much but I was shocked as to what a poor film RANGERS is POSSIBLE SPOILERS But don't worry you won't want to see this movieThe film starts with an airbo... |
470,115 | 1,532,177 | 70,917 | 2 | Hello Inspector . Send Me More Virgins To Burn | SPOILERS It's not very often that I comment on what other people have written in their reviews but it's not very often I see a movie as stupid as THE WICKER MAN get praised to the high heavens . Bryce David and Ray Girvan are totally correct in their views - This film revolves around the plot set-up of someone from a S... |
468,379 | 1,532,177 | 240,468 | 2 | KUNG POO More Like | Want to know why pornographic films are so popular ? It's nothing to do with the sex ( I think I speak for many of us when I say sex shouldn't be a spectator sport ) , it's all to do with the awful dubbing which makes for great hilarity . You know what I'm talking about , when a male character sees his female co-star f... |
469,556 | 1,532,177 | 86,325 | 2 | One Of The Worst Comedy Films I've Seen | This film is pitiful in its lame attempts at trying to get me to laugh . I can't for one moment believe that the makers of steaming pile of horse manure didn't realise that this was going to be an absolute turkey . I will admit that I'm not a fan of comedy films and " Spectacular " comedy never works . I hated THE BLUE... |
470,006 | 1,532,177 | 156,789 | 2 | No Brains And No Laughs | I wished I'd taped MEN IN WHITE so I could watch it again " What ? You mean you really enjoyed it Theo ? " No I mean I could watch it again to see if it was as retarded , stupid and as embarrassingly unfunny as I can remember it A lot of people have claimed it was made for children . May I suggest it was also made by c... |
469,986 | 1,532,177 | 129,866 | 2 | Confused | I remember seeing another of these DEFENDERS TVMs about a year ago and not thinking muchh of it down to a lack of credibility . PAYBACK is slightly different in tone but again it's not very enjoyable and suffers from the same type of problems many other TVMs suffer from ! ! ! ! SLIGHT SPOILERS ! ! ! ! Michael Lane shoo... |
469,981 | 1,532,177 | 116,768 | 2 | This Film Is Gay | KIDS IN THE HALL ? This is a sketch show I remembered being broadcast in the wee small hours in Britain on channel 4 . I didn't think much of it . No strike that - I hated it . It was composed of a bunch of Canadian MONTY PYTHON wannabes who dressed in drag more often than not and made sketches that fell flat . I can r... |
468,382 | 1,532,177 | 82,362 | 2 | Ridiculous Rubbish | I've never really understood the cult of celebrity , or rather Joe Public becoming obsessed with celebrities . My only real brush with celebrity was at a telefantasy convention in 1994 when I was talking to a fellow attendee called Tony , and as we were both smokers we popped out of the non smoking foyer into the hotel... |
469,147 | 1,532,177 | 236,026 | 2 | Not Too Hot | When I saw that this " thriller " starred a woman I thought it was going to be some sort of hot latino chick blows away bad guys type movie , but it doesn't happen like that , it plays out as " A women gets kidnapped " type drama that you've seen umpteen times on The Living Channel except for one important difference -... |
469,297 | 1,532,177 | 361,596 | 2 | Another Overlong Polemical Diatribe Complete With Massive Self Contradictions | If BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE was subjective and somewhat inaccurate there can be no adjectives used to describe FARENHEIT . It is polemical documentary making of the worse sort that will change no ones mind on anything in which case it deserves to be ignored , but since there seems to be a cult that think Michael Moore is ... |
470,085 | 1,532,177 | 94,792 | 2 | Chuck Kills More Commies | If the first two MIA movies rip off UNCOMMON VALOR then this one starts with a rip off from THE KILLING FIELDS . In many ways it's almost effective and you can see the pain etched on Chuck's face as if he's stood on a nail or something . It must have been a very sharp nail because he carries the same pained expression ... |
469,323 | 1,532,177 | 339,789 | 2 | Techno-Babble | I can't remember much about this TVM except for the fact I hated it . This was down to two things 1 ) The techno-babble . In order to fool the audience into thinking they're watching a high brow sci-fi movie the writer has introduced reams and reams of big words in the dialogue and there's no way I can quote it because... |
469,453 | 1,532,177 | 130,018 | 2 | A Waste Of Time | I didn't think much of I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER which featured a bunch of teen drink drivers getting stalked by a character who looked like he was from TISWAS . Seeing as both the original director and screenwriter couldn't be bothered doing a sequel I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER seemed like a bad idea f... |
469,357 | 1,532,177 | 218,138 | 2 | More Crap That Was Made In Britain | A couple of days after writing about how garbage like MAD COWS and THIS FILTHY EARTH receive money while Ange , Duncan and Theo are totally ignored I had to sit through yet another British movie that had me scratching my head as to why it received a single penny . Some people may claim that because DEAD BABIES is based... |
468,827 | 1,532,177 | 75,718 | 2 | Bad News Bears = Bad Movie | There's a showbiz rule that you should never work with children or animals . Michael Jackson didn't heed this advice and now look at him , so why on earth did someone think a baseball movie featuring a bunch of kids would be a hit ? It's not just any bunch of kids , no siree it's a Jewish kid , it's a black kid , it's ... |
468,521 | 1,532,177 | 48,474 | 2 | Not Worth Watching | Is there anyone else out there fascinated by the octopus ? Strange creatures they are , almost like something out of a sci-fi comic book with their giant heads and their tentacles grabbing anything that looks good enough to eat . Did you know the female octopus dies after laying her eggs , her contribution to the speci... |
468,970 | 1,532,177 | 262,221 | 2 | A Wasted Cast | With a title like THE SEX FILES : ALIEN EROTICA 2 you know what you're going to get , some soft core simulated sex done up as a spoof as THE X-FILES which in this case involves an alien fungas spilling its spores which turns women into uncontrollable sex machines who feel the urge to tear off all their clothes and make... |
468,969 | 1,532,177 | 116,654 | 2 | HG Wells And The Acid House | I first became aware of this remake when a clip was broadcast on Barry Norman's FILM 96 . It's the scene where Dr Moreau ( Marlon Brando ) sits with his animal experiments and tries to justify himself to UN diplomat Edward Douglas played by David Thewlis . The reason the scene stuck in my mind was because Thewlis is be... |
470,142 | 1,532,177 | 110,632 | 2 | Why Are They Making Fin ' Stupid Movies . . . | . . . asks Woody Harrelson's character Mickey and was the one and only time in the movie I found myself agreeing with him . Not that NATURAL BORN KILLERS is a stupid movie - It's worse than a stupid movie , it's an egotistical one as Oliver Stone shows through one movie how many directing styles he learned at film scho... |
469,353 | 1,532,177 | 158,242 | 2 | Very Predictable | ! ! ! ! POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO'S NEVER SEEN A TVM ! ! ! ! The problem with STORM CHASERS is that it's a TVM which means . . . The budget is low . This means that instead of seeing a terrible tornado we're instead shown the aftermath of a terrible tornado which is composed of film footage and a " Tent City " s... |
469,788 | 1,532,177 | 85,750 | 2 | Three D . One Bad Movie | Gawd what a terrible script . For the first 40 minutes we're subjected to lots of scenes with cute dolphins . This might appeal to children but because there's some bad language and some scenes of gore this means a 15 certificate meaning young children can't see this movie and the target audience will be bored by the m... |
468,693 | 1,532,177 | 90,003 | 2 | The Reason Britain Doesn't Have A Film Industry | When people talk about British film success in the 1980s they instantly think of CHARIOTS OF FIRE , GHANDI , THE KILLING FIELDS and THE MISSION . What a lot of people forget is that during this period a television station , Channel 4 , were the main sponsors of British films and almost every week ( Or so it seemed ) we... |
469,493 | 1,532,177 | 59,243 | 2 | Very Dated | I'm amazed this comedy is so highly rated because I found it very dated in its type of slapstick comedy . The first twenty minutes seem to be entirely composed of Jack Lemmon's villain standing behind some oh so obvious back projection trying to scupper the plans of Tony Curtis good guy . As the film progresses I becam... |
469,342 | 1,532,177 | 475,683 | 2 | Totally Immoral | Paul Cunningham is a man who is in serious trouble because he owes a bookie money who is perhaps not the sort of person who will go through the courts to get his money back . Paul has till the end of next week to pay back £1800 or else . On his way home he witnesses a homeless man being beaten up ! ! ! ! SPOILERS ! ! !... |
468,831 | 1,532,177 | 281,617 | 3 | It's Not A Documentary | I will give this TVM some credit for getting off to a good start even though it's basically a remake of the opening of TWISTER . Such a pity it's revealed as " A boy reading a story to his friends " sequence . I will also give the producers some credit for casting a fairly fit actress as the heroine and praise too for ... |
469,526 | 1,532,177 | 195,165 | 3 | True Story ? Yeah Right | MILD SPOILERS This is based on a true story is it ? If that's the case then why does the opening caption read " Somewhere in France , All saints day , 1944 " Couldn't the caption have given the exact location ? , or would that lead people to research the integrity of this true story ? Since reading about the truth in "... |
469,845 | 1,532,177 | 118,580 | 3 | The Problem Is The Plot | A question for all you girls out there : If a man you've never met before accidentally phoned you up on purpose and continued to do so at the most indiscreet moments would you be intrigued by him or so freaked out you'd phone the police ? Yeah that's what I thought so I couldn't swallow the idea of Marti Gerrard puttin... |
469,507 | 1,532,177 | 87,995 | 3 | Weird Film That Only Appeals To The Pretentious | I fail to see the appeal of REPO MAN . I concede that it contains a good opening hook where a policeman stops a car , opens the trunk and gets a nasty surprise . But after that the movie , like , the characters , just drives around aimlessly . It resembles a lot of movies of the period in that the musical soundtrack is... |
469,363 | 1,532,177 | 175,876 | 3 | A Steaming Pile Of Cattle Dung | A couple of weeks ago I had a get together with a bunch of Matt Johnson ( Aka The The ) fans down in London and a couple of people I'd met there , namely Duncan and Ange , had like me attended film school . As in these type of situations the topic of conversation soon got round to lamenting the demise of the British fi... |
469,902 | 1,532,177 | 167,150 | 3 | Even By Roberts Standards This Is Poor | Oh dear , a week after reviewing STILETTO DANCE I said I thought Eric Roberts deserved better films then along comes RESTRAINING ORDER which made me think he deserves all he gets POSSIBLE SPOILERS On the surface this film may sound similar to I CONFESS or ABSOLUTION but whatever potential intelligence that may have bee... |
468,939 | 1,532,177 | 294,423 | 3 | A Stroke Of Genius . . . . | . . . . No I don't mean the movie I mean the fact that in this American TVM the bad guy is a foreigner and he's not British . Wow what a stroke of genius that is , the genuis . Unfortunately that's the only radical thing about CABIN PRESSURE . Despite not being British the villain is one major cliche , a computer geek ... |
469,674 | 1,532,177 | 136,244 | 3 | I Got This Confused With Something Else | Ah yes HIDEOUS KINKY that's the one with Kate Winslet getting abducted by a cult and Harvey Keitel races to save the day . I was slightly confused as to why Keitel's name didn't appear in the credits but this is for the simple reason that I had got this movie mixed up with HOLY SMOKE . I won't bother to apologise , it'... |
469,347 | 1,532,177 | 39,211 | 3 | Too Melodramatic | BORN TO KILL is known as LADY OF DECEIT in Britain and I chanced upon it this afternoon when it was shown on BBC 2 . I'm very surprised at the acclaim it's received on these pages because - With the exception of the premise which did have some potential - I found it a very irritating movieI also take some exception to ... |
470,334 | 1,532,177 | 171,363 | 3 | A Big Tease | There's an old saying that you can fool all the people some of the time and THE HAUNTING proves this . You can just imagine the producers walking down to the marketing department and saying " Remember to publicise the fact that Miss Zeta - Jones plays a bisexual and she's stuck in a haunted house with a man and a woman... |
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