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383,378 | 449,021 | 462,395 | 1 | It just ain't getting ' it done ! | There is nothing wrong with redneck humor ; but Larry the Cable Guy's crude and politically incorrect humor can only go so far . Larry has a real comfortable job as a city health inspector . His upbeat and quirky investigations are not always sitting well with his boss ( Thomas Wilson ) . Larry's inspections of greasy spoon diners , low-rent ethnic eating places and even the fanciest of fancy high-brow restaurants are definitely unorthodox . To try and keep within limits of the city not being sued , Larry is given a partner ( Iris Bahr ) , who he thinks is a young boy instead of a young woman . Potty humor runs rampant and the many fart jokes get real old in a hurry . Also in the cast : Joanna Cassidy , Brooke Dillman , Michael Papajohn and Eric Esteban . |
383,091 | 449,021 | 372,873 | 1 | Resurrect dragons revive a Korean legend . | Convoluted , confusing and hard as hell to follow . Albeit , some real good special effects . This movie is about resurrect dragons from a Korean legend smashing and bashing around California . Two creatures of legend , a Good Imoogi and a Dark Imoogi , both want to become heavenly dragons . Director Hyung-rae Shim has these giant creatures morphing from serpents to dragons and back again with massive armies of very formidable monstrosities . A young woman turning twenty years old , bearing a red dragon tattoo on her shoulder is the key to consummating a legend spawned a half-millennium ago . I can't believe I wasted my time watching this mess and still have no idea what I watched . At least it was cool watching the dragons and their minions battle . Starring are : Jason Behr , Amanda Brooks , Robert Forster , Craig Robinson and Aimee Garcia . |
382,497 | 449,021 | 56,499 | 1 | Bad , bad B-Movie . | Robert Hutton directs and stars as a Los Angeles sports reporter Tom Gregory . After his plane lands through a midair disturbance , he finds the airport completely deserted . The city is surrounded by a mysterious fog , as slimy subterranean humanoid creatures have risen from the center of the earth caused by nuclear testing . The Slime people have the population in panic , those who have not be killed . It seems these monsters are impervious to conventional weapons . A young Marine Cal Johnson ( William Boyce ) joins Gregory and a Professor Galbraith ( Robert Burton ) in trying to hold off the Slime people while a method of destroying them is discovered . Bad acting , bad dialog , cheap effects with good reason to stop watching after the first ten minutes . Other players : Les Tremayne , Susan Hart , John Close and Judee Morton . |
383,295 | 449,021 | 285,728 | 1 | Is he one of a kind ? | It has been a long time since I have been this disappointed in a movie . There is so much to offer in a good depiction of the gruesome true life story of the cannibalistic serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer . There is torture , murder , cannibalism and homosexuality to deal with and this movie poorly addresses anything that just might be interesting . This drag ass movie is as thrilling as a zombie relay . Jeremy Renner portrays Dahmer as if in a high school play . Veteran actor Bruce Davison even comes across lame . Surely another director , writer and producer could make the Dahmer story with the thrills and horror of reality this movie lacks . |
384,015 | 449,021 | 52,320 | 1 | Dreadfully lame sci-fi . | A Swiss mountain top is menaced by a cosmic mist that harbors a threat to the world ; a giant , crawling eyeball . Totally bad and a waste of time . Grade school children might enjoy . Forrest Tucker is the only known star . |
383,039 | 449,021 | 368,794 | 1 | Bob Dylan the genius in disguise . | I'm a moderate fan of Dylan's music ; seeing him in concert only once . Personally I know very little about Dylan , the man . I will agree with millions about his lyrics touching many degrees of genius . I'M NOT THERE , okay pieces of Bob are represented here in six different characters including Christian Bale , Heath Ledger , Richard Gere , Ben Whishaw , a young black lad named Marcus Carl Franklin and the most atrocious Cate Blanchett . I can't consider this a biopic let alone an honest chronological look at his life . Hardly a hint of his most remembered mainstream music is here either . Forgive me for missing the point all-together . Its like drinking a $300 bottle of wine out of a Dixie-cup . I'm sure the Dylan devotees will make sense of director / writer Todd Hayes ' efforts . Also in the movie narrated by Kris Kristofferson are Julianne Moore , David Cross , Michelle Williams , Bruce Greenwood and Richie Havens . |
382,926 | 449,021 | 289,911 | 1 | Pay to get in ; pray to get out . | A below-zero-budget horror film about a group of students that decide to open their own haunted house on Halloween . A strange man named Hal comes to check the city codes trying to shut the house down ; but fails . The nine room haunted house opens for business , but soon the house takes on something evil that has the students using various props as torture devices . Things really get chaotic when Hal returns as a psycho clown ( director Eric Worthington ) with an iron hand . Bodies begin to pile up . For sure evil forces have made the haunted house a house of death . The lists of players include : Miki Welling , Lynnie Horrigan , Michael Murdock and Larry Crist . Musical score by Jahn Breeze . I doubt if a cold six-pack could help this clunker . |
382,475 | 449,021 | 186,988 | 1 | Just horrible . Waste of any effort . | Absolutely a piece of crap with all the appeal of a three-legged yellow dog's maggot pile . A " mockumentary " about an out of work filmmaker / director taking on an " interesting " assignment that if done right will answer the rumor of the century . He is hired to travel the country and interview people , most odd and very strange , who claim to have seen Elvis Presley . . . ALIVE . . . years after his death in 1977 . A real hoot is the interview with Elvis ' skydiving instructor ( G . Larry Butler ) , who trained him to hide among the Flying Elvi skydivers out of Las Vegas . And how he met him in Muskogee , Oklahoma in about 1988 at a skydiving championship . Each person interviewed swear they actually saw Elvis ; one even having framed what is left of a Ding Dong The King chomped on in front of a Piggly Wiggly store . The cast is made up of characters with very little camera time ( you really can't blame them ) : Fred Willard , Rip Taylor , Vicki Lawrence , Richard Selzer , Gina Bernstein , Jay Ross and Dr . Joyce Brothers . |
384,195 | 449,021 | 420,227 | 1 | An old man spins tales to save his life . | After witnessing a murder , an old homeless man ( Wayne Dehart ) bargains for his life by telling the killers three stories of horror where the spirits of the wronged seeks revenge . In one tale , a young girl is drowned by cruel friends ; in another yarn , a young woman intends a clinical abortion until enduring horrid dreams of giving birth ; and the third story is of a small midterm party in a girls dorm that ends in rape and murder . This very low budget item would go better with room temperature Thunderbird in a bag and a platter of hot wings . Its hard to call them actors , but credited as cast members : Staci Harris , Timothy Eric , Tenia Yarbrough and Aziza Anderson . |
383,890 | 449,021 | 129,332 | 1 | A man has got to eat . | Captain John Boyd ( Guy Pearce ) is decorated a hero of the American-Mexican War by way of cowardice . He is promoted / demoted to a rundown California outpost . A lone man appears seeking safety and tells a gruesome story of murder and cannibalism . This dark comedy is not for everyone . Some attractive winter scenery and then there is the contrasting bloody gore and vivid violence . Outstanding performance from Robert Carlyle , the most demented cannibal in the old West . David Arquette stays wasted on ' waky weed ' . Also notable work by Jeffrey Jones as Colonel Hart . Could be a stomach turner , so consider yourself warned . ' You are what you eat ' takes on new meaning . |
384,165 | 449,021 | 482,602 | 1 | Tempting . . . but stay away . | The subject matter might spark interest in some ; but this film delivers nothing you don't already know . The acting is terrible and plot just plows along into boredom . The focus is the family of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer's parent's and their struggle to comprehend their son's arrest and what turned him into the monster he became . As heartbreaking as the search was to find any reason behind Jeffrey's actions , efforts proved futile . Trying to humanize a cannibal is not an easy project . It was not accomplished here for sure . The cast includes : Scott Cordes , Cathy Barnett , Granvile O'Neal , veteran actor Bo Svenson and Rusty Sneary as Jeffrey Dahmer . |
382,528 | 449,021 | 101,309 | 2 | No peace until this giant ' gator ' is caught . | This is NOT a sequel to ALLIGATOR ( 1980 ) , but the premise is still the same . A community is terrorized by a giant toxic alligator that crawls out of the sewer . A decent ensemble cast can not save this ' dud ' . The ' gator ' is just not scary enough and the pace of the story is equal to a bad accident . The diverse cast members are good , but equally bland : Steve Railsback , Joseph Bologna , Dee Wallace Stone , Brock Peters and Bill Daily . Stone is the biggest disappointment . This movie just doesn't get going faster than a slow crawl . |
383,205 | 449,021 | 260,162 | 2 | One hell of a virus . | This movie does have its moments , but you have to be quick to catch them . Gruesome in some spots and then others the horrible deeds are off camera . Disgruntled students want to get back at their Headmaster . A teen thinks it good pay back to download a virus on her school's state of the art computer system . Little did she know that Mangler v2 . 0 would unleash a murderous entity . A glimpse of " jiggle and wiggle " , but nothing redeeming . Just about a waste of time . The players are : Chelse Swain , Dexter Bell , Daniella Evangelista , Miles Meadows and Lance Henriksen . |
383,715 | 449,021 | 122,603 | 2 | Marabunta ! Killer ants ! | Side stepping an ant hill is always wise . While you're at it , side step this TV offering . So predictable . So boring . A dormant volcano stirs ravenous soldier ants to attack a small Alaska town . Also known as MARABUNTA . No matter the title , they both equal lame . Julia Campbell is a small source of interest , but she can't carry a movie . Also taking part are Mitch Pileggi , Eric Lutes , Bill Osborn and Patrick Fugit . Even the killer ants can't save this one . |
383,399 | 449,021 | 126,456 | 2 | Titalating naked romp . | Welcome to Camp Sunshine where the nudist come to play and enjoy what they can get out of the sun . Bouncing boobs and bouncing buns . . . leap frog , wrestling and other friendly games that you can play naked . Nubile nudes all shapes and sizes soaking up the sun . An accidental toxic spill infiltrates Camp Sunshine ( filmed in New York City ) where an intelligence challenged gardener drinks it and becomes a m-m-monster that causes concern for lightly clad , fully nude and clothed a-like . Evocative of mid-sixties American Drive-In Theater exploitation flicks . Showing their wares : Deborah Spray . Sally Parfait , Natalie Drest , Ron Cheney , James Gatsby and Angela Evans . |
383,441 | 449,021 | 52,646 | 2 | Let me die ! Let me die ! | Following a car accident , a mad scientist ( Jason Evers ) keeps the head of his fiancee ( Virgina Leith ) alive . He then goes on the prowl looking for the perfect body to make her whole again . Pretty lame all the way around , nothing redeeming here . Also in the cast are : Leslie Daniels , Bonnie Sharie and Bruce Brighton . Someone should have helped put this one out of its misery . Let it die . |
382,795 | 449,021 | 780,530 | 2 | Self-serving step-brother of Elvis steps into the spotlight . | Based on a true story . What exactly was David Stanley taking this time ? Everyone has an opinion ; Stanley writes , directs and produces this proverbial t # ^ d in a punch bowl . Why would Elvis put his life in the hands of a teenage hanger on ? If Mr . Stanley wants us to put credence in his self-serving story , why would he change the names , dates and situations ? It doesn't take long to realize that this is another attempt at bleeding money from Elvis ' legacy . In any respectable book about Elvis , you'll find Stanley a mere " gopher " . Tom Sizemore representing a character based on Joe Esposito is an embarrassment . Dee Stanley Presley should feel honored being played by someone with the looks of Dey Young . And the only thing I can say about Peter Dobson playing " The King " ; he did better than Don Johnson and Dale Midkiff . After saying all this ; kudos to Matt Barr , who actually is the best actor in this film . This really is not a movie about Elvis ; its about David Stanley and his self conception . |
384,410 | 449,021 | 156,554 | 2 | Fear comes in different sizes and strength . | Twenty foot , nine foot ; size is not that important when it involves these freaks of nature effected by insecticides and angered by underwater earthquakes . The giant ocean creatures bring fear to a tiny Polynesian island and a marine biologist ( Adam Baldwin ) and his young son ( Emile Hirsch ) try to protect them from being killed . Julie Carmen and Peter Adams also participate in this more or less waste of time . |
382,804 | 449,021 | 382,943 | 2 | Some kids are just too mean ! | Just as some kids can be so mean ; some movies can just suck like this one does . Don't judge the whole franchise by this installment . Its time for summer camp again and Ronnie ( Paul DeAngelo ) returns as the junior partner of camp owner Frank ( Vincent Pastore ) . Ronnie wants to keep everyone in line and it isn't easy . Alan ( Michael Gibney ) is a chubby pain in the ass and a major disturbance at Camp Manabe . He always leaves confrontations with nasty threats , but is he to be feared ? When campers and staff members mysteriously become victims of frying , burning and skinning Ronnie can't help but think of the grisly murders two decades earlier at Camp Arawak . At times pretty gross , but not as bad as the horrible acting . No sympathy to be had for Gibney , his character Alan possesses nothing to care about . This part could have been given to Rosie O'Donnell . . . and that really isn't much of an improvement . Music icon Issac Hayes plays Charlie the Chef , his last full role in a movie . Others in the cast : Jackie Thon , Jonathan Tiersten , Brye Cooper and the buxom Erin Broderick . There are as many tormented and unhappy campers as there are reasons this went straight to video . |
384,417 | 449,021 | 451,187 | 2 | You don't want to know . . . you don't want to go to Room 6 . | More money was spent on the DVD case . Obviously low budget ; ridiculous story ; no acting ; terrible make-up . . . need more ? Following a traffic accident , a young woman ( Christine Taylor ) tries to get her fiancé ( Shane Brolly ) out of a demonic hospital that is located somewhere between reality and who knows where . The staff is made up of devil worshipers and vampire-like nurses . Looking for credibility I assume , Jerry O'Connell is cast as another person searching for a lost soul in this dark and too repetitive contrivance . The last fifteen minutes is filled with ghoulish patients staggering through the hospital halls . . . more of a headache than frightening . Also appearing are : Katie Lohmann , Ellie Cornell , Stacy Fuson and Marshall Bell . |
381,996 | 449,021 | 171,768 | 2 | Some things are better not revisited . | Based on characters created by Stephen King is as good as it gets . Sorry , but this story is too similar to THE THING starring Kurt Russell to get very excited over . I did like the setting of the snow bound radio shack and the sounds of the harsh weather . Missing people return as the undead and the lurking evil is traced back to the half brother of one of the Marine rescue squad landing in the cold arctic . Faith Ford is adequate in this non-comedic role and is the most talented of the cast that also features Max Perlich , Clayton Rohner , Jennifer O'Dell and Daminan Chapa . If the weather has you trapped in you might appreciate more . Not a total waste of time , but close . |
384,186 | 449,021 | 443,295 | 2 | One big happy family . . . easier said than done . | Admiral Frank Beardsley ( Dennis Quaid ) is a widower with 8 children and his family is ' ship shape ' running like a Swiss watch . Helen North ( Rene Russo ) is a widowed handbag designer with 10 kids and believes in individual self expression . Frank and Helen end up going to their class reunion and discover the love they once had is still there . Thus sparked the proposal of marriage before notifying their separate broods . The thought of one big happy family is not a number one hit with the chaotic 18 ' siblings ' . . . sabatoging the union of their ' high school sweethearts ' parents becomes a collective mission . This comedy is not really funny ; albeit some of the sight gags are humorous . Juvienile situations and the smiling Quaid and Russo seemed wasted on me . Also in the cast are : Linda Hunt , Jerry O'Connell , David Koechner and Rip Torn . |
384,383 | 449,021 | 295,701 | 2 | No kidding ! A secret agent ? | Adrenaline-charged combustion . Full throttled maximum volume action . A government agency recruits an extreme-sports enthusiast ( Vin Diesel ) to covertly thwart a maniacal terrorist . Also in the cast are : Samuel L . Jackson , Michael Roof , Asia Argento and Marton Csokas . Reality : absent . Escape : obvious with gusto . |
383,128 | 449,021 | 47,244 | 2 | Not even a B movie . | Lame may be the best word to describe this attempt at horror . Primitive special effects . An attractive young woman ( Anne Kimbell ) is vacationing in Mexico and hears tales of missing persons and pets . She herself witnesses a giant octopus and a huge one-eyed amoeba like creature that may be the answer to the disappearances . Authorities won't believe her story ; not even deep-sea diving oceanographer ( Stuart Wade ) . Love interest convinces a soft investigation . Acting is atrocious . This is the debut of Roger Corman as a producer . He also has a bit part . Director Wyott Ordung too plays a role . Other players : Dick Pinner , Inez Palange and David Garcia . |
383,267 | 449,021 | 35,640 | 2 | The Doctor has a strange secret . | Bela Lugosi is a mad scientist that comes up with a secret serum that turns him into a very agitated ape . In order to walk more erect and regain his human side . . . he needs to ' collect ' human spinal fluid . This is so lame it is a hoot . Lugosi fans must even shake their heads in wonderment . It is a fun time watch though ; catch it when you can . Also in the cast are : Wallace Ford , Louise Currie , Emil Van Horn and Henry Hall . Not to be confused with first class horror . |
383,627 | 449,021 | 74,434 | 2 | Scraping the bottom . | A very weak and way below any kind of budget . Drive-in movie fare . While drive-in moviegoers are hugging , smooching and backseat bouncing , a lunatic is randomly picking victims to slash , dismember and kill . The drive-in is built on the former grounds of a circus and is being managed by former circus knife handler ( Newton Naushaus ) and his grounds keeper is the former sword swollower ( Douglas Gudbye ) . Two dim-witted detectives ( Jake Barnes and Adam Lawrence ) are assigned to investigate and realize the weapon of choice seems to be an antique sword . Hard to find anything redeemable . Nothing frightening or scary . Some of the situations end up being comical . Also listed as players : Verkina Flowers , Marty Gatsby , Patrica James and Norman Sherlock . |
381,999 | 449,021 | 272,425 | 2 | The Earth is under attack . | Very interesting product from South Korea , a . k . a . REPTILIAN is equally good as it is bad . Far out story line with unimaginative dialogue . Very good F / X holds your interest . Hostile invading aliens reanimate a dormant giant lizard-like creature named Yonggary to eradicate humanity and take control of Earth . Super cool alien spacecraft and a prehistoric monster should be more than enough to keep Sci-Fi fans happy . Overview of notable cast members : Harrison Young , Donna Philipson , Karl Calhoun , Dan Cashman and Richard B . Livingston . The monster is handsomely detailed and fun to watch . |
384,246 | 449,021 | 364,725 | 2 | Grab life by the ball ! | Misfits and half-wits play with their balls . Dodgeball is silly and parallels stupidity . Silly does not necessarily correlate with funny . Peter LaFluer ( Vince Vaughn ) runs a worn out gym called Average Joe's . Faltering and antiquated equipment and with mostly non-paying clients the gym is forced to undergo foreclosure by a sharp looking accountant , Kate ( Christine Taylor ) . The gym's biggest competition comes from GloboGym owned by White Goodman ( Ben Stiller ) . The need for big bucks fast . . . Average Joe's enters a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament , where predictably they meet opposition from the perfectly coiffed Goodman and his team . There is just something about the sound of a hard thrown dodgeball meeting flesh . I kept waiting to hear some trademark profanity from Vaughn . . . no go . Stiller in no matter what role annoys me . . . more so this time . Announcer Jason Bateman and coach Rip Torn were almost show stealers . Also in the cast : Justin Long , Jamal Duff , Missi Pyle and Hank Azaria . This dodgeball nowhere resembles the sport you played in Junior High School . |
384,440 | 449,021 | 64,747 | 2 | Haunting tale of revenge . | From the works of Edgar Allen Poe , a tale of African tribal rites , premature burial , vengeance , grave robbing and murder . An English aristocrat ( Vincent Price ) tries to hide his disfigured brother ( Alister Williamson ) , who escapes and blackmails a doctor ( Christopher Lee ) in hiding him and allowing him to seek revenge and commit murder before being killed . Very tangled story line and not enough terror to make it to a favorites list . Horror masters Price and Lee share no scenes and neither seems to be in top form . The crimson hooded Williamson actually appears to be the lead character . Just enough female persuasion from Sally Geeson , Uta Levka and Hilary Dwyer . |
384,501 | 449,021 | 109,232 | 2 | Chaotic mayhem . | This British dark thriller concerns St . Caninus Hospital , an understaffed , underfunded , run-down private institution that is reeling from the possibility its wealthy owners will follow through with more budget cuts . The head of research has been murdered in this filth hole of a hospital and more grisly murders add up to pure bedlam . There seems to be a power struggle between Penny Second ( Peta Lily ) , head of the women's ward and Dr . Rogers ( Julian Bleach ) , who happens to be as sleazy as they come . Detective Stiltskin ( Philip Pellew ) is brought in to investigate the series of bloody murders and is distracted by the winsome Dr . Second . There is some comedy and suspense involved and taking credit for direction are Robert Golden , David Glass and Steve Lincoln . |
383,366 | 449,021 | 57,128 | 2 | It is all in the bloodline . | Roger Corman directs ; Vincent Price acts ; and the beautiful Debra Paget is on the screen for the last time . This is part of Corman / Price's Edgar Allen Poe multiple ventures . This is close to being the worst , but there is plenty of chills and suspense to keep you watching . Price plays a 17th century warlock burned at the stake and a descendent that returns to the small village homestead a hundred and ten years later . There is very little to associate with Poe , although the story line is chilling and creepy . Price and Paget are ably supported by Lon Chaney Jr , Elisha Cook and Frank Maxwell . This movie seems to have its own attitude and is a must for Price fans . Of course , Corman's followers will also have something to debate about . Was there enough money to make this better or is it beyond help ? You be the judge and jury . Enjoy ! |
383,220 | 449,021 | 369,226 | 2 | Fear what you don't believe in . | Some things may need to stay in the dark . Christian Slater plays a private investigator specializing in the unexplainable supernatural . Tara Reid is a museum curator ( yeah , sure ) . Slater must prove and then try to destroy creatures from a bound ancient world trying to escape the dark . This movie is so convoluted it hurts ; although what you see of the creatures is interesting . Slater must have been hard up for the money . The enticing Reid managed to read her lines , but without sincerity . This film is flat ; it wouldn't take much for the video game to be better . Also in the cast : Stephen Dorff , Matthew Walker and Frank C . Turner . A must / mess to avoid . |
384,376 | 449,021 | 60,558 | 2 | The Old West mixes with horror . | The title is misleading . Technically it is Dr . Frankenstein's granddaughter ( Nadia Onyx ) that the infamous outlaw Jesse James ( John Luton ) meets . This way out and wacky western has the fast shooting outlaw traveling with a hulk of a friend Hank Tracy ( Cal Bolder ) instead of his brother Frank . The two are running from Marshal MacPhee ( Jim Davis ) and his posse . Dr . Maria Frankenstein ( Onyx ) and her brother ( Steven Geray ) have more or less ran everyone out of a small town where they decide to continue conducting experiments from the original Dr . Frankenstein's journals . After Jesse's partner is shot , the two outlaws are aided by a young Mexican woman ( Estelita Rodriguez ) who takes them to the Frankenstein descendants for medical attention . This is a weird combination of western and horror . It is quite obvious the two should not have met . No doubt this could be a hoot if you happen to be " two sheets to the wind " . Also in the cast are : Roger Creed and Rayford Barnes . Note : Lupton is probably most remembered as Indian Agent Tom Jeffords on the classic TV western series Broken Arrow in the mid / late 50s . |
383,149 | 449,021 | 454,919 | 2 | The beginning of the end of the world . | Jim Sonzero directs a screenplay by Wes Craven and Ray Wright . Too much technical babble and a story line that I found just not very interesting . A computer hacker accidentally downloads a strange wireless signal that threatens to consume the world . It is a vicious signal that allows the dead to enter the world by use of electrical appliances , cell phones and computers . The gateway is wide open and the hacker , before committing suicide , tries to warn his college friends of what has been unleashed . Will this evil cause world wide suicide ? The special effects are very good and some terrifying scenes are very disturbing . The cast includes : Kristen Bell , Christina Milian , Ian Somerhalder , Johathan Tucker , Octavia Spenser and Joseph Gatt . |
383,618 | 449,021 | 404,756 | 2 | My gosh . . . where is the bug repellent ? | The Sci-Fi Channel claims this film holds the honor of having the highest rating of any Sci-Fi Pictures original to air in the network's 12 year history . Campy , flimsy and more than a bit lame ; this movie appears to have been written as a Bruce Campbell vehicle . The world is beating on the door of destruction by giant ass termite-like bugs . The bugs have taken control of the human race and force them to work in lumber camps . After forty some odd years in space , a group of astronauts led by Dr . Ivan Hood ( Campbell ) land back on Earth to find the world not like the one they called home . Dr . Hood rounds up a search party for President Demsky ( Peter Jason ) , thinking he is ready to lead a revolt against the aliens . It is silly how easy it is to kill the bugs . Other cast members : Renee O'Connor , Remington Franklin and Jonas Talkington . No doubt about it ; Campbell is the champ of camp . |
382,098 | 449,021 | 60,270 | 2 | A demented doctor messes with nature . | Heading a search for oil , a geologist ( John Agar ) finds adventure in the form of a mad doctor ( Jeff Alexander ) who seeks to create a reptile man . Also in the cast are Francine York , Bill Thurman and Shirley McLine . Talk about low budget . . . some kid gave up his lunch money to make this one . And when you finally get to see a " creature " , you bust a gut laughing . Why did they waste color film on this ? To be exact , being shot in black & white would've been an asset . This is a must to avoid . Sorry . |
381,975 | 449,021 | 106,226 | 2 | Some secrets are widely known . | Martin Scorsese directs this highly acclaimed bore fest . Elaborate costumes and sets , but a story line that offers very little . A high society lawyer ( Daniel Day-Lewis ) in mid 1800s New York City falls in love with his intended's ( Wynona Ryder ) cousin ( Michelle Pfieffer ) . A long time to wait for nothing to happen . Sorry Mr . Scorsese , just not enough to keep us awake . |
382,999 | 449,021 | 51,570 | 2 | Another giant mutation . This time it is a huge fuzzy spider . | The title is a bit ambitious . A small town , not the whole world is being terrorized by a giant spider . No real explanation for this creature is given . But it is big and scary and it kills people . . . so destroy it . Easier said than done . Creepy music makes for a tense atmosphere . Nice flick for a slumber party , that way you have something to do while the movie runs . This film seems to have been done cheap and quick . The intent , no doubt , was to cash in on the popularity of the other giant mutant movies . Quite below average , but not a total bust . Cast members include Ed Kemmer , June Kenny , Eugene Persson and Skip Young . |
382,312 | 449,021 | 117,692 | 2 | Terrifying visitors from the past . | Jon Porter ( Michael Gross ) returns to his old hometown for his mother's funeral and is haunted by evil teenagers that were responsible for his sister's death 30 years earlier . He must get rid of the ghostly demons to protect his teenage daughter Michelle ( Hilary Swank ) . Based on the conjuring of Stephen King and directed by Adam Grossman . My favorite scene is when Jon must cut off his own thumb in ritual to bringing a halt to the haunting . F / X are better than average in this hackneyed story . I found Alexis Arquette totally annoying . Also in the cast : Jennifer Aspen , Glen Beaudin and Jennifer Elise Cox . You may find this better than expected ; although not out of the ordinary . |
383,214 | 449,021 | 486,597 | 2 | Another bird down . . . a chick is down . | Not like BLACK HAWK DOWN ( 2001 ) being the paradigm , this movie is very predictable and just lacking in the ability to sustain interest . Blame director Brian Clyde ? Or executive and famed / infamous producer Roger Corman ? General Frank Lewis ( Rutger Hauer ) commands a controversial tactical unit in the Philippines to capture rebel terrorist . Lt . Matt Daniels ( Mark Dacascos ) leads this special team and is called upon to rescue Captain Amy Jennings ( Theresa Randle ) after her helicopter is shot down by the enemy . While deep in unfriendly territory , Daniels stumbles upon a secret anthrax lab . The rescue is no picnic . But what hurts this movie is what seems to be over use of stock footage . Maybe I'm wrong , but at times this flick looks just plain shabby . |
382,339 | 449,021 | 109,891 | 2 | Blackmail can be fun . | An estranged son ( Macaulay Culkin ) tries to blackmail his ex-con father ( Ted Danson ) into spending time with him . Danson and two cronies pull of a rare coin heist and then Culkin arrives wanting to share father and son time . The coins are used to blackmail the ponytailed Danson into pleasing the obnoxious Culkin . HOME ALONE ( 1990 ) and MY GIRL ( 1991 ) were at least worth watching . This is neither funny or interesting . Danson fares well in his arrogant way . Gleene Headly is not believable as a detective . Also in the cast are : Gailard Sartain , Saul Rubinek and Hector Elizondo . Geared for the grammar school set . |
383,993 | 449,021 | 416,775 | 2 | Freaks of nature attack . | Somebody took the money and ran . C . Thomas Howell , Stella Stevens , Martin Kove and Andrew Pine put forth a minute portion of their abilities and compete with what looks like blow-up plastic ants the size of a house cat . Of course , an experiment goes wrong and giant genetically-engineered ants become out of control in search of human flesh . A small group of folks happen to be in a skyscraper on a Saturday afternoon and become the prey of these overgrown blood-thirsty insects . Howell tries to play so laid-back its pathetic . And Miss Stevens , the once sexy knockout . . . becomes stuffy and guilty of bad over-acting . Here is another case of the DVD package being more interesting than the movie . |
384,067 | 449,021 | 44,750 | 2 | That dreaded fear of Communism . | A low-budget scare movie full of propaganda with tons of repeated stock footage . Having drinks in a Manhattan cocktail lounge are cattle baron ( Erik Blythe ) , tractor factory owner ( Robert Bice ) , TV reporter ( Gerald Mohr ) , a fetching " hottie " ( Peggie Castle ) and a mysterious stranger ( Dan O'Herlihy ) that convinces all that the H-bomb has been released on America , when TV reports that Alaska and the state of Washington have already been attacked by Communist invaders . Actual bombings and air battles intersperse the overacting . Other players include : Phyllis Coates , Tom Kennedy , Wade Crosby and Clarence A . Shoop . |
383,533 | 449,021 | 479,125 | 2 | Avoid THE PLAGUE ! | Horror master Clive Barker presents THE PLAGUE . Time to bring out that proverbial 10-foot pole . Total disappointment . Where is the horror ? Due to an eerie plague , the children of the world fall into a coma . Ten years later , at the same moment in time . . . they rise . With the oldest about 19 years old , there is an alarming agenda to carry out . These zombie-like young people are viciously killing off the world's adults ; including their own parents . Those that survive , begin living in fear trying to figure out the origin of the plague and how long will they be among the living . Could this be the worst for Clive Barker ? The makeup appears to be B-movie quality . It is even possible to fall asleep in this one . What a shame . Credited cast includes : James Van Der Beek , Ivana Milicevic , Dee Wallace , Joshua Close and Hilary Carrol . |
384,454 | 449,021 | 389,475 | 2 | A small town with a big secret . | This slasher flick directed , written and produced by Marc Selz starts out interesting , but by the finale the twists and turns are so convoluted it becomes a mess . Two teenage couples are found in rural , small-town America and are feared the victims of an escaped lunatic . Sounds too damn familiar . Two detectives ( Nicole Buehrer and Joe Morowitz ) and the local sheriff ( Joe Estevez ) try to unravel the mystery . Some answers have already been answered though . How this got an " R " rating , I'll never know . It seemed to have very little objectionable content . . . except for the bad acting . Others in the cast : Amy Brown , Linnea Quigley , Circus-Szalewski and Robert Z'Dar . |
382,645 | 449,021 | 109,655 | 2 | Sometimes tradition puts limits on dreams . | Humor and pathos are mixed in this study of the cultural and social clashes between a Chinese-Canadian daughter and her traditional parents . Sometimes give and take are not the solution . Not the easiest movie to watch . Sandra Oh shows much promise . Also in the cast are : Daniel Fong , Greg Chen , Alannah Ong and Claudette Carracedo . |
383,913 | 449,021 | 304,818 | 2 | Gruesome twosome masters of gore . | A couple of wild rednecks from Texas , Billy Buck ( John Smihula ) and Jacob ( Adam Berke ) , relocate to Long Island to start a grass-cutting business . These two hillbillies easily get fed up with the newfangled attitudes and ways of the Northern city slickers . They do groom some lawns , but also murder and mutilate unfortunate and unsuspecting Northern Yuppies . Billy and Jacob express their anger ruthlessly and seem to actually have fun pulling the guts out of their victims . The acting is horrible , emotionless and monotone . The special effects are mostly shot close up ; which really shows how lame the gore is . I can't believe how horrible this film was made and being from the mid 80's . Could it have something to do with Nathan Schiff writing , directing and producing ; as well as having his hand in the cinematography , editing , special effects and original music . Others in the cast : Mary Spadaro , Lynn Campagna , Matt Zagon , Leanna Mangiarano and Edward Schiff . A throw back to the old drive-in movies . |
382,407 | 449,021 | 1,104,123 | 2 | A pitiful prequel . | This is one of those movies that cries for your full attention ; but this prequel to 2002's THE SCORPION KING is pitiful and the more you watch you realize this thing is just not going to get any better . The young warrior Mathayus ( Michael Copon ) witnesses his father's death at the hands of the evil and powerful King Sargon ( Ultimate Fighting champ Randy Couture ) . Mathayus trains six years to become one of the King's elite body guards the Black Scorpions and all the while plots to avenge his father's death . Some real nice special effects , but the dialog is so ridiculous anything redeemable is buried in the sand . The exciting fight scenes are just not enough to carry a movie that seems to lumber on aimlessly . The cast includes : Simon Quarterman , Karen David , Tom Wu , Jeremy Crutchley and Natalie Becker . |
384,462 | 449,021 | 75,261 | 2 | The worm turns and rises . | I thought I would be watching a pretty decent B-movie and I was quickly mistaken . Special effects are mainly close-ups of your every day earth worm . The long shots give the worms the appearance of two foot long crimson spaghetti . Just like coming upon a bad car crash . . . it is so ugly you can't turn your head . The acting . . . not good . A small community in Georgia is terrorized by giant flesh eating earth worms after being electrocuted out of the ground . Why do I think this is something that can only take place " down south " y'all ? What is intended to be horror turns out to be somewhat humorous . But still curiosity has to be fed . . . how or will the townsfolk out smart their attackers ? Actors include : Don Scardino , Patricia Pearcy and Peter MacLean . A younger viewer may be more impressed . |
382,130 | 449,021 | 218,625 | 2 | Be afraid of what you think you see . Spooky assignment . | Imagine if you will : four teen students have an assignment to spend the night in a haunted house in St . Francisville , Louisiana to check for the existence of the paranormal . If you watch this in the dark and late at night ; you possibly will have the hair on the back of your neck rise a couple of times . Otherwise this mock documentary is a very lazy rip off of BLAIR WITCH PROJECT . What is to be dialogue is very lame and the actors are pleasant looking enough , but seem to lack genuine personality . It seems to take forever before something real spooky even happens . This movie is excellent for ' sleep overs ' , when you have both eyes barely open and everyone is yakin ' and snackin ' . |
383,550 | 449,021 | 59,726 | 2 | Invitation to a romp in the snow . | It doesn't take a ski accident to come up lame with this one . It is questionable SKI PARTY even has one leg to lean on . A cheap WHERE THE BOYS ARE ( 1960 ) . Boys wanting to meet girls ; snow bunnies looking for the " right " guy . If you can party on the beach ; why not a ski slope ? Terrible script overshadowed by the assembly of " over acting " . Frankie Avalon isn't even able to make this movie credible . Also in the cast are : Deborah Walley , Dwayne Hickman and Yvonne Craig . But there is something redeeming . . . singing appearances by Lesley Gore and James Brown . |
382,404 | 449,021 | 79,626 | 2 | A man's obsession with a black leopard . | Check that lame-o-meter . Donald Pleasence is Axel MacGregor , a world renowned writer , test pilot , big game hunter and writer . MacGregor has a lop-sided sense of machismo and his ego has been threatened by a black leopard who attacked him on safari . He has the animal captured alive with the intent to let the beast loose on his private Southeast-Asian island paradise in order to track it down and claim superiority with a high powered rifle . Meanwhile his daughter and granddaughter make an unannounced visit . MacGregor will have more than enough to deal with . . . right down to his last bullet . The supporting cast includes : Nancy Kwan , Lesly Fine , Ross Hagen and Jennifer Rhodes . |
384,522 | 449,021 | 59,743 | 2 | Looking for life on a strange planet . | Directed and written by Leonard Katzman , this space probe is slow and lacks excitement . The special effects seem as if this TV project was produced ten years earlier . A team of scientists , including the attractive Francine York , set out in the year 2000 to find a livable planet in space . The craft is forced to land on a strange planet , where they are attacked by crusty humanoid sea creatures and giant crabs . The voyage turns out successful after all and they name the planet after a comrade they lost in their discovery . . . Andros 1 . Besides Miss York , this bad piece of Sci-fi features Russ Bender , Baynes Barron and James B . Brown . Take the journey , but don't expect much . |
384,469 | 449,021 | 346,136 | 2 | Kill the Queen . | A Sci-Fi Network original . Not the best . Not far from being the worst . An electrician ( Richard Grieco ) stumbles onto a " key " that can open a gateway to a parallel Earth that has been taken over by mutant spiders . The mutations have been controlled by a super-sized alien Queen for the past thirty years . She has already eaten up the population of this parallel world that resembles Chicago minus inhabitants . Guess what ? Now she must find another world to feed on . The electrician leads a four man team that reluctantly finds themselves with the task of saving the world . The finale confrontation is probably the best part of the whole movie . The cast also features : Richard Yearwood , Colin Fox , Kate Greenhouse , Jason Jones and David Newman . One would have thought that the Sci-Fi Network could have spent more money on special effects . |
384,379 | 449,021 | 52,169 | 2 | Can a skull really scream ? | Welcome to a bad ghost story and someone's nightmare . This horror tale finds a newly married husband ( John Hudson ) and wife ( Peggy Weber ) haunted by the memory of his previous wife and screaming skulls found throughout their empty mansion and lily pond . Is the husband really trying to drive his already anxious bride insane ? Or is it the learning challenged gardener Mickey ( Alex Nicol ) who has taken care of the mansion's grounds since the death of the original mistress of the house ? This low budget horror flick has a story line that keeps you involved all the way the finale . Special effects are pretty bad even at 1958 standards . I swear at times the screaming skull sounds much like it should be in a Godzilla movie . Also in the cast as Reverend Snow is character actor Russ Conway . By the way . . . the lurking gardener ( Nicol ) is the film's director . You can catch this as part of AMC's Monsterfest . |
383,637 | 449,021 | 59,465 | 2 | An old estate hides a secret . | Eerie , bizarre and somewhat confusing . Boris Karloff is a reclusive scientist that experiments with radioactive material and gains some very strange powers . Story line is hard to follow and just does not pack a punch . The ailing Karloff does what he can , but by far no means an example of his greatness . Nick Adams , Freda Jackson , Suzan Farmer and Patrick Magee go through the motions of rounding out the cast . You deserve a pat on the back for sitting through this one . |
383,750 | 449,021 | 167,404 | 3 | Things aren't always as they appear . | A child psychologist ( Bruce Willis ) comes to the aid of a young mother ( Toni Collette ) , that is deeply concerned about her son ( Haley Joel Osment ) . The young boy not only sees dead people , but seems to be able to communicate with them as well . This is a complex thriller . It is well written and gives your imagination a work out . Young Osment steals the show from Willis . Also in this psychological brain teaser is Donnie Wahlberg , Mischa Barton and Lisa Summerour . Catch it a second time to see what you thought you saw the first time . |
382,260 | 449,021 | 256,380 | 3 | Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder . | Bobby and Peter Farrelly are at it again . Funny , but still a bit awkward . Jack Black is a superficial skirt chaser who is only interested in the " babes " . A self-help guru hypnotizes him to see the inner beauty and he falls in love with a 300 plus pound woman ( Gwyneth Paltrow ) . I could see where the story's whole concept would be offensive to some ; but to me the intended humor just fell short . Also in the cast are : Jason Alexander , Joe Vitrelli and Susan Ward . Miss Ward in my opinion is the real " hottie " in this movie . Decent soundtrack featuring Sheryl Crow and Ivy . Wade into the shallow end and don't expect much . |
382,188 | 449,021 | 281,617 | 3 | Tornadoes terrorize Tennessee . | A TBS Production for TV that kind of falls short . A series of powerful tornadoes threaten to destroy a nuclear power plant in Tennessee . Some of the F / X are interesting , more interesting than the story itself . Sharon Lawrence is the unrealistic hero ; but she looks oh so good running around in a white tank top trying to save the plant . Also impressive is the eager Mark-Paul Gosselaar as the whipping boy of the police unit . Also in the cast are Corbin Bernsen and Fraser McGregor . My favorite scene is where McGregor , who plays Lawrence's son , tricks his buxom baby sitter into playing a game of Twister so he can look down her blouse . Scenes at the power plant are made to look so technical they lose realism . Hardly enough to get your blood to pumping . |
383,598 | 449,021 | 210,180 | 3 | Just like in the movies ! | Interesting Sci-Fi / horror flick . A fading veteran of B-movies ( M . Emmet Walsh ) is signed out of the looney ward by his grandson ( Tobias Mehler ) who just arrived in town . Grandpa insists that the small town will feel the wrath of a monster's resurgence . . . just like in the movies . Plenty of gore , but the special effects are lacking . The monster is menacing and strikes fear just with its size . . . just like in the movies . Also in the cast are : Angela Keep , Bianca Nacson and James Russell . Not a total waste . Season the popcorn with Tabasco and enjoy . |
382,033 | 449,021 | 61,194 | 3 | Fun on the ski slopes . | Most of the male population at a college with ski slopes needs the help of a surf bum to defrost the Dean's secretary . The secretary has the female students keenly aware that most boys want only one thing from them . If the secretary can be made to appear to be ' easy ' , maybe ; just maybe , the girls will follow . Music provided by The Beau Brummels , The Astronauts , Dick & DeeDee and Jay & The Americans . These musical interludes may be the only redeeming scenes in the movie . The cast includes : Gary Clarke , Chris Noel , Steve Franken and Les Brown , Jr . |
382,047 | 449,021 | 132,164 | 3 | And life goes on . | This is a ' round robin ' of several different stories and groups of characters that intersect each other . This makes for a tough time to follow and get into . The abundant strong language makes for reality , but may offend some viewers . Strong point is very good writing . Stick with this one . There is a diverse gathering of talent featuring : Luke Perry , Tom Sizemore , Virginia Madsen , Chris Penn , Mary Stuart Masterson , Michael Madsen , Burt Young , Hal Holbrook and James Beulushi . On a lazy weekend , a good companion movie would be DINER . |
383,204 | 449,021 | 167,367 | 3 | Does the cycle really get broken ? A twist on serial killing . | Mediocre thriller about a serial killer killer . That's right . An astute FBI agent ( Patrick Muldoon ) is assigned to the Red Team that deals with unsolved serial killings . He stumbles into the case of his life when he is on the trail of a murderer whose victims are suspects themselves in serial killing . He thinks his supervisor Tim Thomerson has crossed the line and is involved with the new string of killings . He goes to a wheelchair bound veteran cop ( Fred Ward ) for advice . He needs the aid of his former partner ( Cathy Moriarty ) to unscramble the good guys from the bad . The cast also features : C . Thomas Howell , David Millbern and Deb Patterson . |
383,678 | 449,021 | 462,519 | 3 | The proverbial td in a punchbowl . | This comedy ( questionable ) ranks right down there with the worst pieces of crap I've ever seen . Sorry , Billy Bob , you couldn't even pull this one out . Roger ( Jon Heder ) is a dork , with high anxiety and low self-esteem , working as a New York City meter maid . He enrolls in a top-secret confidence building class taught by Dr . P . ( Billy Bob Thornton ) and soon enters a competition to woo Amanda ( Jacinda Barrett ) , who recently befriended the beleaguered Roger . The rivalry spins completely out of control and the pranks that ensue are assumed to be the comical hight-lights of the film . I thought I didn't like the movie , because I just don't like Heder . No , I just wasn't impressed much period . Also appearing are : Michael Clarke Duncan , Horatio Sanz and Matt Walsh . |
384,086 | 449,021 | 101,256 | 3 | A direct hotline to the Devil . | Gracious be , what a story . A wicked teacher ( Rene Assa ) takes advantage of powers obtained from his phone calls to Satan . Some creative murder scenes and a fun watch with a party crowd . Debbie James is nice in the looks department , but light in acting skills . Patrick O'Bryan seems miscast as the biker hero . Also in the cast is Philip McKeon . |
382,268 | 449,021 | 225,683 | 3 | Some secrets are not really secret . | An ex-fighter pilot ( Dale Midkiff ) uncovers a military conspiracy after he is asked by the U . S . Government to steal a supersonic plane carrying a very deadly secret weapon . Little real action . No thrills . Mediocre special effects . Far fetched Sci-Fi . Most characters are over acted . A bad imitation of a good movie . The cast also includes : Cliff Robertson , William Shatner , Judd Nelson and Jennifer Rubin . Question : Does Midkiff actually report to the IRS that he is an actor ? |
382,254 | 449,021 | 66,130 | 3 | Ned Kelly was a bad man . Ned Kelly was a legend . | This one kind of clops along like an average B movie is expected to . This may be a cult classic in Australia , but I just don't dig it . Exploitation of Mick Jagger ? Your guess is good as mine . Jagger plays Ned Kelley Australia's most notorious outlaw . Director Tony Richardson dramatizes the life of this bad man and his family of horse thieves . The meat of the movie is the big man hunt that results in a lot of gun fire and death and the eventual capture and execution of the legendary 19th-century outlaw . Jagger is as sluggish as the movie itself and his attempt to sound Australian comes out sounding more Irish . Good to watch if you are a follower of the Rock ' n ' Roll bad boy . Also in the cast are Geoff Gilmour , Allen Bickford and Clarissa Kaye-Mason . |
382,465 | 449,021 | 893,411 | 3 | Regrettable . A human puzzle . | Unfortunately , director Leo Scherman's NEVER FORGET is all but memorable . Lou Diamond Phillips plays Steven , who awakens alone in the middle of the woods and he is bloody , beaten and hanging by his foot from a tree . Before the rope snaps and down comes Steven a blood covered knife falls from his pocket . He has no idea where he is or what has happened . He is approached by Andy ( Kristen Holden-Reid ) , who accuses him of murder . Murdering who ? The two ramble and stumble their way through the woods all-the-while Steven is trying to recover his memory and put together the human puzzle he is part of . To be exact , who is Andy ? Maybe he is the murderer , he does have a gun . But Steven is the one bloody . Steven's amnesia is fading in and out as the two men arrive at a home in the woods . . . can Steven trust what he thinks he remembers ? Anxiety builds with an amount of boredom and the confusing last quarter of the movie I assume was done on purpose . Probably one of the worse movies Phillips has been in . . . and he has had his share . |
384,154 | 449,021 | 179,769 | 3 | A rising star can only rise so far before falling . | This movie is impudent enough to bedazzle you . A funny satirical mockumentary about the rise and fall of a dimwitted bus driver that becomes a country & western one-hit-wonder . Billy Burke plays Dill Scallion the unlikely star with his hit " When You Shared You " . His gimmick is having his foot stomped on before going on stage ; and his crippled dance becomes a dance hall sensation . Lauren Graham plays Scallion's girlfriend that is caught up in the fame game . David Koechner plays Bubba Pearl , the right hand man of the new star and wanting to reclaim some of his own past glory . Henry Winkler plays a talent promoter and a bearded Jason Priestly plays the role of county icon Joe Joe Hicks . Making cameo appearances are LeAnn Rimes , Travis Tritt and Willie Nelson playing themselves and Robert Wagner cameos as Mr . Llama the boot baron . You really start thinking this is too damn dumb to watch , but you hang in there waiting to see how silly this thing can get . I will definitely watch this again . Laugh at it and with it . |
384,212 | 449,021 | 462,359 | 3 | Chunk of crap . | Try to build a movie around Tara Reid and what do you get ? A menacing horror flick turns into a nagging headache and nerve wrecker . Failed transportation and bad weather force a group of friends led by Jay ( Reid ) searching for refuge and finding an abandoned recycling plant . They discover two men brutally murdered and find they are trapped inside with a coma patient hooked up to life support in a shatter proof observation room . They soon deduce the ' Sleeper ' is a mass murderer that was suppose to have been executed . Why is he here ? And why is it that when the group are trying to find a way to escape , the ' Sleeper ' ( Mihai Stanescu ) proves not to be so harmless ? Also in the cast : Akemnji Ndifernyan , Monica Dean , Alice O'Connell and Chris Brassington . |
382,362 | 449,021 | 252,649 | 3 | Man the lifeboats . | This may be a must to avoid . The bizarre reappearance of a luxury liner lost in the Bermuda Triangle twenty five years ago has curious visitors determined to solve its mysteries . Judd Nelson somehow finds his way into sinkers , I mean stinkers like this one . Pretty much a waste . Also in the cast are : Janet Gunn , Lance Henriksen and Scarlett Chorvat . |
382,984 | 449,021 | 312,700 | 3 | When it really needs to get there . . . call The Foreigner . | Can they possibly get any worse than this ? Probably . But after all Steven Seagal gets to do what he does . Well kind of ; this time instead of mortally wounding the bad guys he just wounds them . By reputation of being a bad ass agent Seagal is hired to deliver a special package from France to America . But it is not an easy task with so many people trying to intercept and foul up the mission . The fights just don't have enough bite and the big bangs are just big and that's all . Anna-Louis Plowman seems to be the only cast member not to appear wooden . Also in the cast are : Jeffery Pierce , Max Ryan and Harry Van Gorkum . Don't put all the blame on Seagal for this clunker . |
384,207 | 449,021 | 132,245 | 3 | Not every racetrack is oval like every driver is not the same . | The trailer lures you in and bam it hits you . . . . did I pay to watch this ? Loud music , fast cars and even faster women in between some very good racing scenes does not equal a good movie this time around . Great F / X crash visuals is the best thing you'll see here . A young hot shot racer ( Kip Pardue ) is nearing the end of his rookie race season and one racer ( Til Schweiger ) stands in the way of a championship trophy . But the rookie's season is falling apart as quick as his personal life . Race team owner ( Burt Reynolds ) calls a former skilled driver ( Sylvester Stallone ) out of retirement to help get the young turk back with the program . Gina Gershon is excellent as the unabashed sex pot ; a roll she knows so well . Also in support are : Estella Warren , Stacy Edwards and Cristian de la Fuente . The tangled relationships equals the mess on the track . . . scorecard anyone ? |
383,863 | 449,021 | 455,584 | 3 | Control is out of control . | David Norton ( Timothy Hutton ) is a best-selling author that of course controls the heroes , villains and subject matter of his 25 novels . Without explanation the real world starts imitating his fictional world . . . to be exact just like his very first book . While speaking at a conference on a Mediterranean island , he is approached by a strange fan Frank Kovak ( David Kelly ) ; and his fiancée receives a mysterious phone call and jumps to her death from their hotel balcony . Soon others around him begin committing suicide . Is this a scientific experiment carried out by the government . . . similar to circumstances in his first novel ? And how does Kovak figure in all this ? Suspense with disturbing content . Also in the cast : Lucia Jimenez , Georgia Mackenzie , Gary Piquer and Annette Badland . |
383,522 | 449,021 | 132,451 | 3 | Little wooden puppets take care of the bad guys . | Dr . Magrew ( George Peck ) strives to give human attributes to expertly crafted wooden puppets . Emily Harrison who plays Jane Magrew is the bright spot of the movie . But the puppets themselves are the real stars . The killer puppets do away with the bad guys . The action scenes are good , but there are too few to get excited about . Even with the finale slamming the door on you ; this mild horror movie is still fun to watch . Peck is less animated than the puppets . Also starring are Michael Guerin , Josh Green and Jason Dean Booher . |
383,384 | 449,021 | 91,560 | 3 | A creepy drive-in favorite . | You like movies that are so bad , they're good ? You know who you are . Borderline ridiculous even better . MOUNTAINTOP MOTEL MASSACRE features amateur acting , terribly cheap special effects and top notch creepy atmosphere . Evelyn ( Anna Chappell ) , after a three year stay at the Arkansas Mental Hospital , runs the Mountaintop Motel just off the highway and deep in the woods . She oversees a series of run-down cabins renting for $7 a night . Evelyn's head is full of evil voices that push her to killing her own daughter and then on a rampage of cabin-to-cabin slaughter . She employs snakes , rats and cockroaches as tension elevators before she sneaks in and uses her deadly blade . I absolutely loved the rainstorm atmosphere . This motel has a hell-of-a check out time . . . its bloody murder . Jim McCullough Jr . writes and directs . The cast also features : Bill Thurman , Will Mitchel , Virginia Loridans and Gregg Brazzel . |
382,912 | 449,021 | 382,932 | 3 | If you only knew who prepared your favorite dish . | From the makers of THE INCREDIBLES and CARS a comedy with a little of this and a touch of that and enough for seconds . Its a view of Paris that begins . . . under the city . Remy ( Patton Oswalt ) is a determined rat with big ambitions of becoming a great French chef . Fate places Remy and his family in the Parisian sewer system right beneath a restaurant made famous by Remy's hero , Auguste Gusteau ( Brad Garrett ) . Torn between his own dreams and his family's wishes , Remy and a hapless human pal named Linguini ( Lou Romano ) set in motion events that will have the elite of Paris diners clamoring for just a taste of new culinary concoctions . Other recognizable voices bringing life to these new characters are : Peter O'Toole , Janeane Garofalo , John Ratzenberger and Brian Dennehy . |
381,987 | 449,021 | 338,410 | 3 | Chris Kringle , Jr is a jail-bird . | Made-for-TV for the Hallmark Channel . Tame and lame , but is something the whole family can enjoy together . Chris Kringle , Jr . ( Nick Stabile ) is a hapless slacker that is a source of embarrassment for his famous jolly-old-elf father . Chris wants to change how people see him ; he figures he could actually change opinions if he shuffled down a few chimneys right before Christmas Eve . He manages to get arrested for a string of burglaries . While being interviewed by his public defender ( Lauren Holly ) , she starts to believe his story and seriously wants to help save Christmas . Also in this comedy are Judd Nelson , George Wallace , Rodger Bumpass and Ed Gale . |
384,057 | 449,021 | 52,257 | 3 | A tough mission for a special squad of G . I . Joe's . | Edward Cahn directs this very low budget war yarn . Mike Connors leads a special squad assigned to destroy top intelligence papers in the Philippines . The mission is almost suicidal , because the Japanese have set up a HQ in the small building housing the hidden documents . Familiar stock footage is meshed with this spotty script . No masterpiece , but a quickie war flick worth watching . Diverse cast of characters that include : Bing Russell , Russ Bender and John Ashley . Ashley always seems to over act , but then there is Jewell Lain that shows very little skills as a reporter / love interest . Look for Sammee Tong , who played the butler on TV's " Bachelor Father " . Lock and load . |
382,755 | 449,021 | 316,732 | 3 | Sometimes you need a little help . . . sometimes a lot . | Talk about an unlikely duo . This comedy crime caper stars Queen Latifah , who plays Belle , a none too timid taxi driver on her first day with a souped-up taxicab with NASCAR on her mind . Belle by random accident finds herself helping a clumsy inept cop ( Jimmy Fallon ) , who is driving challenged and hails a cab to get to a bank robbery . To make this flick click . . . the bad guys aren't even guys . The culprits are four Brazillian supermodels led by Gisele Bundchen . Some real nifty car chases and provocative posing by the supermodels may be equally dangerous . I can't really describe what Latifah and Fallon do as acting ; but it is certain they can control a scene . Explosions , shoot-outs and some mild sexual references equal a PG-13 RATING . Very fine support is provided by Jennifer Esposito , Henry Simmons and Ann-Margret . |
384,134 | 449,021 | 39,180 | 3 | Rootin ' tootin ' Roy Rogers and Trigger . | The singing cowboy Roy Rogers is a Border Patrol agent delving into the disappearance of several men near the border between Mexico and San Angelo . Along with Sheriff Cookie Bullfincher ( Andy Devine ) and a sensational novelist from the East Lee Madison ( Dale Evans ) , Roy discovers that Rex Gridley ( John McGuire ) is smuggling Mexican gold across the border and hiding it in an abandoned mine . And how can Rogers do all this without a song or two and his faithful horse , Trigger . William Witney directs this 54 minute oater . Supporting cast includes : Fritz Leiber , Fred ' Snowflake ' Toones , David Sharpe and Bob Nolan and his Sons of the Pioneers . A good companion is THE GOLDEN STALLION ( 1949 ) . |
383,847 | 449,021 | 100,864 | 3 | Living up to your word isn't always easy . | This made-for-TV movie has its moments . As for action . . . hurry up and wait . Based on actual events this drama chronicles the mostly nonviolent rescue of a tribe of pro-American people , the Montagnards , who are trapped in Indochina in the wake of the Viet Nam War . Cast features Michael Gross , Gerald McRaney , Cliff Gorman , Season Hubley and Jason Scott Lee . Filmed in Bangkok , Thailand . |
384,343 | 449,021 | 485,774 | 3 | Creepy persistent serial killer is hard to stop . | Not the greatest by any means ; but decent for a low end budget horror flick . Sheriff Berger ( Robert Englund ) watches a vicious serial killer named Chambers ( James Brinkley ) die in the electric chair . . . twice . At a going out of business hospital morgue , Chambers arises and does his thing . . . rip the heart out of the doctor doing the autopsy . Two young patients , Sara ( Merideth Henderson ) and Walter ( Nathan Stephenson ) struggle to stay alive as the hospital soon fills with blood . The ruthless killer makes it proof positive that he relies on souls of others to survive . Henderson out acts Englund in this creep thriller . Also in the cast : Laura DeCarteret , Michael Cram and Lori Hallier . HEARTSTOPPER does have some special effects that neither makes or breaks this bad scary movie . |
383,216 | 449,021 | 303,773 | 3 | A cure is maybe just a sting away . | Convoluted and ridiculously lame . A scatter-brained story line is easy to cause confusion . An entomologist ( Shane Brolly ) is searching out a rain forest to trap thousands of killer wasps in hopes their venom may hold the cure for his seriously ill wife . Of course , as expected , the wasps get loose and must be stopped for they have killed before and expected to rack up a huge body count . Lethal swarm of wasps . . huh . Special effects are low budget and really not fearsome at all . At times you have no idea if the flying pests are wasps or bees . Also in the cast : Kaarina Aufranc , Roger Nevares and Hugo Esquinca . You can blame the Sci-Fi Channel and the USA Network for letting this one out . |
383,617 | 449,021 | 365,478 | 3 | If he only had a brain . | Written by , directed by and starring the champ of camp Bruce Campbell . Easy on its easy to tell this is a budget on a shoestring affair ; filmed independently in Bulgaria . All I can really say for sure is that silly is not always funny . Campbell plays an affluent American business man with a cheating wife ( Antoinette Byron ) and trying to close a business transaction before he is murdered . He hires a cabbie to drive him around a strange little town ; not knowing that his wife is ' carrying on ' with the taxi driver . Within moments of Campbell being bludgeoned ; the cabbie is killed in the same location . A mad scientist ( Stacy Keach ) proceeds with an experiment putting the cabbie's brain inside the American's head . With massive stitches on his forehead , Campbell breaks free and roams the streets looking for his wife ; all the while he is arguing with a strange voice inside his over-sized head . Campbell contorts his rubbery face making silly expressions as he argues with himself . Thus , Bruce is doing what he does best and no doubt his many fans will be pleased . I get the impression this must have been written as a straight comedy . Rounding out the cast are Ted Raimi , Tamara Gorski , and Vladmir Kolev . Watch for this on the Sci-Fi Channel . |
383,405 | 449,021 | 74,157 | 3 | Screwing to the center of the earth . | Based on a Edgar Rice Burroughs novel , AT THE EARTH'S CORE provides little more than means to escape and give your brain a rest . A Victorian scientist Dr . Abner Perry ( Peter Cushing ) invents a giant burrowing machine , which he and his American partner ( Doug McClure ) use to corkscrew their way deep into the earth to explore what mysteries it may hold . They soon discover a lost world of subhuman creatures having conflict with prehistoric monsters . Cushing comes across as an absent minded professor to the point of being annoying . Instead of being a bold adventurer , he comes across effeminate . On the other hand McClure overacted enough to make himself also laughable . Caroline Munro plays the pretty Princess Dia that refuses to leave her world near the center of the earth . Also in the cast are : Godfrey James , Cy Grant and Michael Crane . |
382,873 | 449,021 | 478,129 | 3 | Emotional and terrifying struggle f or survival . | Overambitious and shoddy ; and at times too darkly lit . DARK REALITY'S scenario is not even close to being original . Dark and dank basement . Kidnapped prisoners . Fearful survival . Carey ( Alisha Seton ) tells her family and friends she will be backpacking across Europe . She doesn't make it out of town . She is grabbed from a rainy sidewalk , drugged , and awakes chained in a dungeon . She eventually realizes she is not alone and upon meeting a few of her fellow captives there is different thoughts on survival . Her cell mates start dying off one by one . Can she garner enough strength and courage to see daylight again ? Others in the cast : Laila Dagher , Rachel Oliva , Eva Derreck , Arthur Bullock and Jen Parker . |
383,965 | 449,021 | 245,095 | 3 | He is his father's son . | Ho-hum . An inventor's ( Horst Buchholz ) deadly biological weapon is in danger of falling into the wrong hands . Unknowingly his son ( Luke Perry ) has been working on the antedote all along . Enter CIA agent Olivia d'Abo and the cat-and-mouse car chases and gunfire begins . Also in the cast are : Tom Conti , Hendrick Haese and an aging Roger Moore . Moore seems to haggardly move through this mess definitely not one of his better efforts . Perry fans will be accepting . d'Abo is wrong for the role , but nice to look at . |
383,733 | 449,021 | 405,308 | 3 | Together even after death . | John ( Jonathan Flanigan ) and Jennifer ( Beverly Hynds ) are a couple badly in the need of a weekend getaway . A short cut ends up being ill fated . A tire blows out on a country road in the middle of the woods . . . and its in the wee hours of the night , of course . They believe they have discovered a dead body along side the road . Well , that was wrong . By morning the two are infected with a disease that has the skin falling off of their bodies . They're rotting to the core and death is inevitable . This is very low budget and the acting shows very little talent . My favorite scene is where both John and Jennifer kick and pound the body they think is already dead . |
382,313 | 449,021 | 65,549 | 3 | He feels that he is a woman . | Such a serious subject to turn out so campy and ludicrous . George Jorgenson Jr ( John Hansen ) realizes at an early age that he is a female trapped in a male's body . This tends to be a bizarre biography of the famed 50s phenomenon first sex change . . . George becomes Christine . Not exactly and in-depth study and it is strange that George looks more masculine as a female . Go figure . It would tend to be logical that liberties were taken with actuality just to get this oddity on the screen . It does make you want to search out the autobiographical novel by Jorgenson to get the real skinny . Trent Lehman plays George at 7 . Also in the cast are : Joan Tompkins , Pamelyn Ferdin , John Himes and Oscar Beregi Jr . as Dr . Dahlman , the sex change doctor . Curiosity is the driving force to tend with . It is a shame this comes across a laughing matter . |
382,707 | 449,021 | 53,072 | 3 | Voyage to the moon no accident . | Dirk Green ( Michael Whalen ) wants to keep the spaceship he built to himself without any interference from the government . When he finds a couple of escaped convicts hiding in the craft , he forces Lon ( Gary Clarke ) and Gene ( Tommy Cook ) to become his crew and it is all systems go . The missile is launched and found aboard are Dirk's science technician and partner Steve ( Richard Travis ) and his fiancée June ( Cathy Down ) . Before the ship even lands on the moon , Dirk is accidentally killed and nobody else knows that he is actually a previous inhabitant of the moon trying to get back . The adventurers land on the moon and find a dying civilization of beautiful women under the rule of The Lido ( K . T . Stevens ) . There are also some " rock monsters " that look like man-size stone Gumbies . Thus this low budget affair has very primitive special effects and is no showcase for recognizable acting abilities . |
383,060 | 449,021 | 167,924 | 3 | Portrait of an extraordinary entertainer . | Among a plethora of Elvis documentaries , ELVIS : THE COMPLETE STORY does not ride to the top nor sink far from the bottom . Ted Newsom writes and directs this two hour look at the life and career of Elvis Presley . An examination of the man and the entertainer through the use of still photos , vintage footage , movie trailers and a few words from people who worked with him like Mary Ann Mobley , Julie Parrish and Sue Ane Langdon . Michelle Bauer narrates the proceedings with no signs of true enthusiasm . And not very impressive is the backdrop of tunes sung by Marshall Davis . But for me , the most irritating is the dialog by John Christopher Hyke , who comes across sounding more like Glen Campbell than Elvis . All-in-all , this is a poor man's THIS IS ELVIS ( 1981 ) . |
383,175 | 449,021 | 858,437 | 3 | The story of a gruesome serial killer . | Michael Feifer writes and directs this fictitious story based on the arrest of Edward Gein in Plainfield , Wisconsin . Gein was responsible for a rash of gruesome murders that sent a shock wave of terror through his rural hometown in the late 1950's . His evil mind and twisted world is suspected to be caused by his domineering zealous Lutheran mother . Ed was given the nickname " The Butcher of Plainfield " . He would rob corpses from fresh graves of women who resembled his mother and he would have sex with them before ' dressing them like a deer ' in his garage . Severed heads with bodies hanging upside down being his personal trademark . After his arrest there would be many articles made from human skin found in his home . In this movie , a young deputy Bobby Mason ( Shawn Hoffman ) makes the search for Gein ( Kane Hodder ) a personal one , when his storekeeper mother ( Priscilla Barnes ) goes missing . The acting is a whole lot better than the ridiculously liberal telling of the documented events concerning Gein . Also in the cast : Adrienne Frantz , Timothy Oman , John Burke , Michael Berryman and Amy Lyndon . |
382,691 | 449,021 | 43,397 | 3 | Not one without the other . | More of an exploitation movie using the Siamese twins Violet and Daisy Hilton . The sisters have a vaudeville act that needs some more promotion by their ' no shame ' manager Ted Hinkley ( Allen Jenkins ) . He has a shame marriage arranged between one of the sisters and a playboy magician ( Mario Laval ) . The two timing husband is shot and his sister-in-law is tried for murder . It was hard enough to get a marriage license due to regulatory laws and now it is a moral dilemma to punish one sister for the other's crime . Supposedly based loosely on the actual career of the Hilton sisters , who were born joined at the hip . Others in this melodrama : Patricia Wright , Alan Keys , Edna Holland and Norval Mitchell . |
384,356 | 449,021 | 100,827 | 3 | Two modernized Poe stories . | Two adaptations of Edgar Allen Poe's dark tales . Two famed directors and recognizable stars . I was real eager to view TWO EVIL EYES , but it didn't take all that long and I was bored to death . Not enough action ; not enough gore . George Romero directs THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF M . VALDEMAR , where a deceitful cheating wife ( Adrienne Barbeau ) plans on killing her husband ( E . G . Marshall ) ; and while he is in a vegetated state , she cashes in some of his major assets . Even a fully clothed Barbeau is gorgeous . THE BLACK CAT is directed by Derio Argento and tells the tale of a crime photographer ( Harvey Keitel ) , who is haunted by cats after himself being involved with a murder . Keitel , who is known for playing some quirky roles , does not disappoint . Other stars involved in these twin tales : Sally Kirland , John Amos , Kim Hunter , Martin Balsam and Ramy Zada . |
382,670 | 449,021 | 186,975 | 3 | Sometimes love needs a shove . | Sappy romantic comedy . Cute does not make memorable . An aspiring chef ( Freddie Prinze ) cooks up a whirlwind relationship with a wannabe artist ( Julia Stiles ) . Serious love seems to need deeper thought and a swift kick in the butt . Also in the cast are Selma Blair , Lucie Arnaz and Henry Winkler . Ashton Kutcher sucks big time as Jim Morrison . Ms . Stiles was the only reason I watched . Otherwise disappointing . |
383,296 | 449,021 | 289,848 | 3 | He feels pretty . . . analyze what ? | Harold Ramis directs his sequel to ANALYZE THIS . This get together is really not much better than the first . Situational comedy that gets a little stale . Neurotic mobster Robert De Niro is released from prison and into the custody of his psychiatrist Billy Crystal . My favorite scene is when Crystal has run out of folding money and is putting change in a stripper's panties . The story line is lacking ; but De Niro is a hoot and the reason for watching . Also in the cast are : Joe Viterelli , Cathy Moriarty and Lisa Kudow . |
384,344 | 449,021 | 56,875 | 3 | Grissly horror filmed in Blood Color . | Soooo bad ; but fun to watch . Herschell Gordon Lewis is a one man gore master . He directs , produces , creates a story line and takes charge of cinematography and special effects . He also provides the original music . A weird and deranged Egyptian caterer ( Mal Arnold ) searches for beautiful young women to mutilate and dismember in sacrifice for an Egyptian goddess . A puzzled detective ( William Kermin ) works hard to find the mysterious killer and provide safety and peace of mind for his young girlfriend ( Connie Mason ) . Some pretty gory scenes that thrilled drive-in goers in the mid 1960s . Other credited players : Scott H . Hall , Ashlyn Martin , Astrid Olson and Louise Kamp . Lewis himself is the voice of the radio announcer . |
383,892 | 449,021 | 282,178 | 3 | You can't always have what you want . | Small-budget and lame . Quentin Kemmer ( Devon Gummersall ) plays a wimpy comic book fanatic who works as a security guard at a biotech lab doing research with giving humans the natural traits of spiders . At home Quentin would dream of being like his comic book hero The Arachnid Avenger and concern himself with wanting to ask out Stephanie ( Amelia Heinle ) his neighbor living in the apartment next door . After the lab is broken into , Quentin decides to inject himself with experimental spider serum . That way he may take on newfound powers and impress Stephanie enough to notice him . He finds himself foiling a store robbery and even fighting off Stephanie's muggers . And even solving a crime for an impotent cop ( Dan Aykroyd ) . But all is not going that good . . . the once mild mannered nerd is becoming more and more spider-like and less human . Also in the cast are : Theresa Russell , Christopher Cousins and John Cho . |
382,458 | 449,021 | 397,039 | 3 | Betty Page . . . the pin-up icon . | This documentary is a reenactment of the last few years of Betty Page's ( Paige Richards ) career . The Tennessee tease was the most recognizable pin-up queen in history . Her most memorable work came in the 1950's and was fetish photos , bondage and cat-fight " girly flicks " . Irving Klaw ( Dukey Flyswatter ) at his Movie Star News instructed Betty on what to do in front of the camera . There was no nudity in the famous photos or " stag films " , but nonetheless , Klaw was charged with distributing obscene materials and was ordered to destroy them to avoid prosecution . It is no surprise that Betty had a cult following at the height of her career . The girl-next-door with jet black hair , blue eyes and an hour glass figure dressed in fetish gear or not would mesmerize for decades . After all , it has been said that she was photographed more than Marilyn Monroe and second only to the most photographed image in the world , Elvis Presley . Betty Page would disappear and devote her last years to religion . This movie actually could have been a lot better ; but good enough to hold interest . Miss Richards is stunning in her own right . Bra , panties , garter belt and hose do not hurt her image in the least . Also in the cast : Jaimie Henkin , Jana Strain , Emily Marilyn and Julie Simone . Be advised this movie can change your heart rate . |
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