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3,388
Whenever I get sad about how things are going now, I just think of how awesome the future looks to be. #secondsemester #drumcorps #college
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whenever i get sad about how things are going now i just think of how awesome the future looks to be . secondsemester drumcorps college
2,001
Today's the day, last to chance to sign to show support HTTPURL
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todays the day last to chance to sign to show support httpurl
1,750
@USER @USER @USER that’s how things like this get so bad. if everyone says it’s not their problem and nobody actually does anything about it, nothing does happen. the us government can use the fed to take action, and it should— even if it’s not their “job” officially
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user user user thats how things like this get so bad . if everyone says its not their problem and nobody actually does anything about it nothing does happen . the us government can use the fed to take action and it should even if its not their job officially
959
#Dallas #traffic I sure missed you! #not @ Downtown Dallas Traffic HTTPURL
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dallas traffic i sure missed you . not downtown dallas traffic httpurl
4,834
not enough essays about hozier saying “i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door” and all of the implications that go along w it
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not enough essays about hozier saying i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door and all of the implications that go along w it
880
#great #Not #A #All #Burst #Christmas #diy #crafts|Please RT: HTTPURL HTTPURL
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great not a all burst christmas diy craftsplease rt httpurl httpurl
3,101
thankful our stat teacher is dropping the lowest quiz @USER #lifesaved #not
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thankful our stat teacher is dropping the lowest quiz user lifesaved not
3,675
@USER How do you propose to determine "sides"? I have both black and white family members. #racewar #irony #LoveNotWar
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user how do you propose to determine sides . i have both black and white family members . racewar irony lovenotwar
4,712
#DIY. Change your #MobileCover every day now. Enjoy! HTTPURL
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diy . change your mobilecover every day now . enjoy . httpurl
1,058
Sure Staff.. Now Hiring. #irony HTTPURL
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sure staff . now hiring . irony httpurl
4,499
#Irony: When some archers fight with "supple" bows the way hoplites fight with stiff spears. #Archer=#Hoplite #Bow=#Spear
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irony when some archers fight with supple bows the way hoplites fight with stiff spears . archerhoplite bowspear
1,459
#WreathAcrossAmerica #Jax it is finnished HTTPURL #honor #FallenHeros in Jax||HTTPURL HTTPURL
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wreathacrossamerica jax it is finnished httpurl honor fallenheros in jaxhttpurl httpurl
2,223
.@USER is 100% going to post another photo with 5 holes in a fence 5 days before Lover is released, isn’t she?
1
Taylor swift is so extra.
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. user is 100 going to post another photo with 5 holes in a fence 5 days before lover is released isnt she .
4,767
like this if you own a gray bath mat I’m tryna see something
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like this if you own a gray bath mat im tryna see something
2,796
Do you walk past people and automatically think you’re defo a tory?
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do you walk past people and automatically think youre defo a tory .
556
@USER really well done. Another short formation, so I get to stand for the 3rd day in a row from Kel to LLS 7:18. Thanks #sarcasm
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user really well done . another short formation so i get to stand for the 3rd day in a row from kel to lls 718 . thanks sarcasm
1,830
#Irony: When some masseuses offer "soothing" massages the way reviewers offer stinging criticisms. #Masseuse=#Reviewer #Massage=#Criticism
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irony when some masseuses offer soothing massages the way reviewers offer stinging criticisms . masseusereviewer massagecriticism
3,895
I really wanted something sweet for breakfast and all I have is dark chocolate so that’s what I’m having!
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i really wanted something sweet for breakfast and all i have is dark chocolate so thats what im having .
4,468
The ER sucked tonight .. Urgent Care tomorrow .. YAY #not #fml #ugh
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the er sucked tonight . urgent care tomorrow . yay not fml ugh
31
wow i love only ever buying gray and striped shirts
1
I wish I didn't just buy gray and striped shirts.
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wow i love only ever buying gray and striped shirts
4,119
@USER y'all are doing a great job at keeping people safe #sarcasm
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user yall are doing a great job at keeping people safe sarcasm
4,553
I disturbed a small #wildlife meeting this morning on my short cycle ride: a squirrel, 4 green woodpeckers and a rabbit all hopped, scampered or flew off in different directions as I came past. Like a scene from Snow White or Bambi. Felt #blessed to be out (still #shielding).
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i disturbed a small wildlife meeting this morning on my short cycle ride a squirrel 4 green woodpeckers and a rabbit all hopped scampered or flew off in different directions as i came past . like a scene from snow white or bambi . felt blessed to be out still shielding .
1,449
I care so much about people that I’m constantly like: “Please drive safe”, “Don’t forget to eat today”, “Make sure you take your medicine”, “Text me when ur home”, etc.. and I usually get in return: “LOL, ok thanks “mom”.” SORRY I CARE ABOUT YOU DAMN I DON’T NEED YOUR SARCASM
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i care so much about people that im constantly like please drive safe dont forget to eat today make sure you take your medicine text me when ur home etc . and i usually get in return lol ok thanks mom . sorry i care about you damn i dont need your sarcasm
1,064
This is my buddy @USER He is a deep thinker. #Nashville #BaileysfantasycampTN @USER @USER HTTPURL
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this is my buddy user he is a deep thinker . nashville baileysfantasycamptn user user httpurl
477
about to hit the studio with my man @USER :fire::eyes::smiling_face_with_horns:
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about to hit the studio with my man user fireeyessmilingfacewithhorns
1,714
“Dad where did you watch the World Cup in 1966?” “I watched it on my own in my bedroom with a pigeon”
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dad where did you watch the world cup in 1966 . i watched it on my own in my bedroom with a pigeon
1,749
rom coms from the 200s are simply built different
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rom coms from the 200s are simply built different
3,339
Why are tanning beds legal?
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why are tanning beds legal .
2,243
@USER he lost his license not long after, mwahaha #irony @USER
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user he lost his license not long after mwahaha irony user
210
tried to look up my mom’s instagram and just typed “mom” into the searchbar,, did not work
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tried to look up my moms instagram and just typed mom into the searchbar did not work
1,274
@USER @USER @USER For having union representation for decades, teachers' pay still sucks and is shorted by dues. #irony
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user user user for having union representation for decades teachers pay still sucks and is shorted by dues . irony
1,139
@USER Hey, now. Her profile says "I Heart Jesus" so she can't be all bad. #sarcasm @USER @USER
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user hey now . her profile says i heart jesus so she cant be all bad . sarcasm user user
648
I miss the old Kanye HTTPURL
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i miss the old kanye httpurl
811
Ah yes. After a decent birthday it is now time to stress out about money again.
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ah yes . after a decent birthday it is now time to stress out about money again .
504
@USER Really? #Sarcasm
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user really . sarcasm
2,666
It's been a great week for dictators. Congrats North Korea and Cuba. #sarcasm
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its been a great week for dictators . congrats north korea and cuba . sarcasm
4,609
Latinx Americans - PLEASE hear #trump calling people of your cultures rapists, murderers, and low intellects and VOTE FOR @USER !!
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latinx americans please hear trump calling people of your cultures rapists murderers and low intellects and vote for user .
4,357
Nothing but respect to the people in my neighborhood who are already putting out their Halloween :jack-o-lantern: decorations
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nothing but respect to the people in my neighborhood who are already putting out their halloween jackolantern decorations
4,358
Girls who can rock this thang~ #PrincipalSwag #Not HTTPURL
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girls who can rock this thang principalswag not httpurl
1,797
Genuinely don’t know what I’ll do without the #WinterOlympics to entertain me all day at work
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genuinely dont know what ill do without the winterolympics to entertain me all day at work
721
“If I could have changed anything about my childhood I would have never watched spongebob” -no one
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"I don't think anyone regrets watching Spongebob as a child"
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if i could have changed anything about my childhood i would have never watched spongebob no one
4,051
I can't waitlove#this#is#love#and#you#cAn#not#tell#me#how#much#this#is#gonna#last#beth#rip#twd#forever#bae.. HTTPURL
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i cant waitlovethisisloveandyoucannottellmehowmuchthisisgonnalastbethriptwdforeverbae . httpurl
2,399
Nothing like waiting at an airport. #youcanthearit #sarcasm
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nothing like waiting at an airport . youcanthearit sarcasm
2,698
@USER looking great today Diane, it's not fair you're not on more. #not enough Diane
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user looking great today diane its not fair youre not on more . not enough diane
544
My bed time stories are awesome #sarcasm #theyllgiveyounightmares #ohwell #youaskedforit
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my bed time stories are awesome sarcasm theyllgiveyounightmares ohwell youaskedforit
4,907
someone teach me how to be creative
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someone teach me how to be creative
3,768
I'm so glad the clocks just went back, I have this whole extra hour of insomnia to play with.
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im so glad the clocks just went back i have this whole extra hour of insomnia to play with .
26
being sick w a nose piercing is rly annoying
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being sick w a nose piercing is rly annoying
626
@USER Gonna miss @USER @USER @USER and others, but at least we got Howie Kendrick.. #Sarcasm #NotStoked #WTF
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user gonna miss user user user and others but at least we got howie kendrick . sarcasm notstoked wtf
3,466
@USER @USER @USER You are kidding, right? #irony #poortaste
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user user user you are kidding right . irony poortaste
3,362
That's nice. #not
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thats nice . not
683
Awh I love her replies, they get me feeling all types of ways! #not #noreplies #StoryOfMyLife HTTPURL
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awh i love her replies they get me feeling all types of ways . not noreplies storyofmylife httpurl
1,886
I love the hypocrisy of the holidays. #NOT
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i love the hypocrisy of the holidays . not
3,730
@USER @USER zero place for that. when the karma train finds Raiola, I hope it has a full head of steam
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user user zero place for that . when the karma train finds raiola i hope it has a full head of steam
3,629
Erasure by Percival Everett and Pym by Mat Johnson..So there is black literature after the Black Arts Movement #Sarcasm #ChangetheCanon
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erasure by percival everett and pym by mat johnson . so there is black literature after the black arts movement sarcasm changethecanon
3,967
Now i officially look single. Ha the #irony
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now i officially look single . ha the irony
3,453
Being awake since 3AM is always so much fun #sarcasm
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being awake since 3am is always so much fun sarcasm
1,370
@USER HTTPURL #CHRISTMAS #GIFT GET STARTED AT MAKING MONEY IN SOCIAL MEDIA @ HTTPURL
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user httpurl christmas gift get started at making money in social media httpurl
401
a single man directed by tom ford simultaneously resurrected me from death only to brutally murder me once more.
1
Tom Ford, as a movie director, makes me feel big feelings and that's impressive to me.
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a single man directed by tom ford simultaneously resurrected me from death only to brutally murder me once more .
2,105
Today Rob told me that they have a room in the NICU with so many babies with MRSA that they started calling it the MRSAry.
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today rob told me that they have a room in the nicu with so many babies with mrsa that they started calling it the mrsary .
1,781
I swear some people come to the library just to breathe heavily out of their mouth
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i swear some people come to the library just to breathe heavily out of their mouth
3,484
#NYPD :worried_face::confused_face::crying_face::sleepy_face::disappointed_face: not cute #NYPDMutiny I am sure the citizens feel real safe #not you showed us who you are.
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nypd worriedfaceconfusedfacecryingfacesleepyfacedisappointedface not cute nypdmutiny i am sure the citizens feel real safe not you showed us who you are .
1,925
Enabling the Windows Firewall is a perfectly reasonable thing to do to package in a software installer. #sarcasm #SCCMAdmininHealthcare
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enabling the windows firewall is a perfectly reasonable thing to do to package in a software installer . sarcasm sccmadmininhealthcare
4,961
I’m sorry, but if you message me on Instagram wanting me to help you sell your fit tea and wraps, I’m leaving you on read. :upside-down_face:
1
I will not answer you if you message me about fit teas or wraps. I’m leaving you on read. I’m not sorry about it.
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im sorry but if you message me on instagram wanting me to help you sell your fit tea and wraps im leaving you on read . upsidedownface
1,473
I feel like most teens/women are not told that hormonal contraceptives increase their risk for cancer before going on birth control, and that’s messed up
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i feel like most teenswomen are not told that hormonal contraceptives increase their risk for cancer before going on birth control and thats messed up
3,465
Next they’ll have a train that’s not sure if it identifies as a train or a tram :woman_facepalming_light_skin_tone:
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next theyll have a train thats not sure if it identifies as a train or a tram womanfacepalminglightskintone
4,034
Trader Joe’s orange chicken is lowkey better than the orange chicken at most Seattle area Chinese restaurants
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trader joes orange chicken is lowkey better than the orange chicken at most seattle area chinese restaurants
3,083
Oh my what was that noise? The dog isn’t happy either! #loudbang
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oh my what was that noise . the dog isnt happy either . loudbang
513
some old man told me at work that he knows im montanan cause i say “yup”. you heard it here first, you can only say yup if youre from montana
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some old man told me at work that he knows im montanan cause i say yup . you heard it here first you can only say yup if youre from montana
1,971
@USER Deutsch is a misogynistic toad; how shocking he's a bigot too #Not .. #HandsUpDontShoot
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user deutsch is a misogynistic toad how shocking hes a bigot too not . handsupdontshoot
3,636
@USER only children at home status. Woohoo Isn't it fun..:unamused_face::pensive_face: #not
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user only children at home status . woohoo isnt it fun . unamusedfacepensiveface not
351
nah fuck u and all ur issues
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nah fuck u and all ur issues
1,779
It will be impossible for me to be late if I start to dress up right now. #studing #university #lazy #sarcasm
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it will be impossible for me to be late if i start to dress up right now . studing university lazy sarcasm
4,821
It's freezing out there & very hazy .. Just want to go home.
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its freezing out there very hazy . just want to go home .
4,498
First proper Coffee in 4 months.
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first proper coffee in 4 months .
536
I am extremely excited to know what Reza Aslan and CJ Werleman think about what happened in Pakistan #PeshawarAttack #Sarcasm
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i am extremely excited to know what reza aslan and cj werleman think about what happened in pakistan peshawarattack sarcasm
2,589
Have you gotten your tree yet? Xmas tree nail wraps available at HTTPURL #nailwraps #nailart #not.. HTTPURL
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have you gotten your tree yet . xmas tree nail wraps available at httpurl nailwraps nailart not . httpurl
2,551
@USER I thought all people did for the holiday was to stream holiday cube all day?!?! #sarcasm
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user i thought all people did for the holiday was to stream holiday cube all day . sarcasm
5,030
Check Out this YouTube channel: HTTPURL
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check out this youtube channel httpurl
759
Rolls-Royce, as envisioned by the wonderful people at Mansory #rollsroyce #purple #customcar #sarcasm HTTPURL
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rollsroyce as envisioned by the wonderful people at mansory rollsroyce purple customcar sarcasm httpurl
2,403
Today I'm standing at the front of Tesco wearing an Elf's hat, saying hello to customers and getting ignored. #dreamjob #not
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today im standing at the front of tesco wearing an elfs hat saying hello to customers and getting ignored . dreamjob not
2,395
Bristol is absolutely littered with students!! Glad I never was one:see-no-evil_monkey:
1
I was one of them once
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bristol is absolutely littered with students . glad i never was oneseenoevilmonkey
2,761
@USER funny joke there bae..#NOT
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user funny joke there bae . not
1,610
I will be gigging tonight at The Swan in the Rushes in Loughborough.
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i will be gigging tonight at the swan in the rushes in loughborough .
5,104
@USER absolutely shocking that the lamestream media hasn't picked up on this #sarcasm #mediabias @USER @USER
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user absolutely shocking that the lamestream media hasnt picked up on this sarcasm mediabias user user
1,450
Oi na how am I functioning right now #sleepdeprived
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oi na how am i functioning right now sleepdeprived
195
My dads letting me drywall with him for Christmas. Just what I always wanted. #not
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my dads letting me drywall with him for christmas . just what i always wanted . not
1,589
Next day makeup just looks so hawt :kiss_mark: #NOT
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next day makeup just looks so hawt kissmark not
190
hmm. I do wonder why Astec has one fewer employee? #lol #sarcasm
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hmm . i do wonder why astec has one fewer employee . lol sarcasm
2,896
Good thing I'm scared of clowns and my kindergarten teacher was dressed as one today. :expressionless_face: #not
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good thing im scared of clowns and my kindergarten teacher was dressed as one today . expressionlessface not
1,009
Kings of Leon. Sex on Fire. That’s it. That’s the whole tweet.
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kings of leon . sex on fire . thats it . thats the whole tweet .
3,804
@USER Loving how Fulham looks like a playoff team. #NotReally #Sarcasm
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user loving how fulham looks like a playoff team . notreally sarcasm
549
@USER (281): If I had feelings, you would have hurt them. #Not
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user 281 if i had feelings you would have hurt them . not
4,217
Networking, networking and networking - big message from today’s key note speakers #PRS2021
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networking networking and networking big message from todays key note speakers prs2021
4,847
.@USER Big Gulps for health care HTTPURL #irony
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. user big gulps for health care httpurl irony
653
wild that theres a whole industry of pop ups that are like just elaborate ig photo ops and people are paying for them??
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wild that theres a whole industry of pop ups that are like just elaborate ig photo ops and people are paying for them .
662
took the long way home so i could drive in the rain and listen to music. the vibes were immaculate :sparkles::sparkles::sparkles:
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took the long way home so i could drive in the rain and listen to music . the vibes were immaculate sparklessparklessparkles
5,132
Free chocolates and free delivery with all flower orders from Bunches. HTTPURL
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free chocolates and free delivery with all flower orders from bunches . httpurl
1,661
Insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results
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insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results
1,369
Come on @USER you know you want to call me and make me £40K richer! :see-no-evil_monkey: my phone bill has got to be at least half that from constantly entering the cash call!!
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come on user you know you want to call me and make me 40k richer . seenoevilmonkey my phone bill has got to be at least half that from constantly entering the cash call .