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It is the month of February. Everyone considers it the month of love.
angel
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But in today's video, I want to talk about the single season.
angel
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I personally love talking about seasons or experiences or stages of life that I am in or I've gone through or going into.
angel
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And so I don't know anything about marriage because I haven't been married, but I'm going to have some of my friends come on to talk about that.
angel
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In today's video, I want to talk about embracing your single season.
angel
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Because if there's one thing you guys don't know about me, I genuinely enjoy being single.
angel
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I know it's a weird thing to say. I'm not saying I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids.
angel
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And that let me just put a disclaimer out before I even carry on.
angel
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This talking about embracing your single season does not mean that we're going to trash talk people who are married, people who are in relationships, and other seasons.
angel
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I'm talking about my stage of life. I'm not trashing any other.
angel
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And I'm solely sharing how I enjoy it and why I enjoy it so much.
angel
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When I want to say when I was like 16 or 15, 16, 17, and people started dating, yes, there were people in my life, there were situationships, there were like relationships that I don't consider relationships, but there was all that.
angel
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And I've had as time has gone by. Like I've definitely had up until now.
angel
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But I found that earlier on, I just made a conscious decision that I am not gonna find like myself or I am not gonna determine my happiness based on someone else or based on a relationship.
angel
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I don't know why from early on, I was just like, I want to make sure when I date and get married or when somebody seriously comes into my life that I, Angel Hutchinson, has done everything, number one.
angel
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And then number two, that I'm genuinely happy with myself.
angel
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Because I generally believe that when you're happy with yourself, when you're confident with yourself, that oozes out and that attracts what you want instead of what you don't like.
angel
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So I have pointers and mind you, I still try to love by them or not even try. I love by these.
angel
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And there are times where I've probably done a few things and I've been like, oh, backtrack.
angel
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And that's how I even know with certain relationships that, yeah, this is not for me because of certain things.
angel
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One of my points. I have notes because I was like, I don't want to forget some of the things.
angel
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The first thing I will say is take time, no matter how old you are, take time for yourself and for God.
angel
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I put for God, if you don't believe in God, if you're a different religion, kudos, whatever you are, whatever you serve.
angel
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But for me, I say when you're single, make sure you make time for yourself and for God.
angel
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What I mean with that, see God, ask God, like, God, what do you have in store for me, God?
angel
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What do you want for me? God, like, what do you say on marriage?
angel
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Because I literally did this. And let me tell you why I say this.
angel
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Because I, for a while, have been saying, I don't want kids.
angel
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I knew I wanted to get married, but I was like, yeah, I don't think I want kids.
angel
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I don't think I want kids. I'm okay with not getting married, but I wanted to get married.
angel
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So it was like, if I didn't get married, I wouldn't be sad, but I really wanted to get married.
angel
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Versus with kids, I was like, yeah.
angel
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And to be honest with you, till this day, I'm like, I don't really see a point of it.
angel
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But in that season of wrestling, and I've actually said no to certain guys because they've always been like, oh, you'll change your mind when you have kids or whatever.
angel
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And it has been like a block when it came to dating.
angel
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But after sitting with God, and I would say in the last year, just like researching in the Bible and just sitting with God and seeking God and saying, okay, God, what do you say about marriage?
angel
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What do you say about kids? What do you say about dating?
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And just going back to basics, because there's a lot of things said about dating out there.
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And I needed to go to my source and I needed to sit and be like, okay, Angel, why don't you want kids?
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Angel, like, why wouldn't you be as bummed if you want getting married? Like, you guys, you want it. Why do you want it?
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And I started getting answers. And my answers are obviously personal for me.
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I had to go down the rabbit trail and just, and I would just write down what God is saying.
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And I would just write down what like the desires of my heart.
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And like, I would honestly be open, left nothing behind and be like, okay, these are my deepest, darkest fears.
angel
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These are my deepest, darkest things. Like, I, the reason I want kids is because of this.
angel
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The reason I wouldn't be bummed if I got married is because of this, this, this, this, and this.
angel
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There's a stigma of being like miss independent, miss strong, misses, this, misses, that, which is great.
angel
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But to a certain degree, some women have turned into men.
angel
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And I had to like check myself pretty fast and be like, do I not want to do this because of that and that whole thing?
angel
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And honestly speaking, it was like one of the best things I have done for myself because now going into a relationship, I'm self-aware.
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And even sometimes I'll catch myself say stuff and I'm like, whoa, no, no, girl.
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Like, you know, this is what the word says about this situation.
angel
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This is what God says. And for me, I'm not even going to lie. It's like a pure discipline.
angel
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And yes, there's the Instagram couples and there's the kids and all these cute things.
angel
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But it's like certain words, certain scriptures have jumped out at me.
angel
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And even just me sitting with myself, it's made me so self-aware.
angel
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And now, like, now I genuinely feel bad for some of the people that I've dated or had situations with.
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I'm like, oh, my God, I actually owe them an apology. Like, no, like, this is me being genuinely honest.
angel
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But you won't have that if you keep bouncing from one situation to another, to another, to another.
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If you don't figure out yourself. Now, if you're married, I'm not saying you can't still figure out yourself.
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You can't still see God. You definitely can. But for me, I am just mulking the stage I'm in.
angel
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I am single. There's nothing I can do about it right now.
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And so I'm just going to milk it and I'm just going to do the best I can. And so that's point number one.
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Bouncing off point number one, number two is know yourself and know what you want.
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So number two is specifically know what you want. Somebody asked me last year. Oh, it's 2023.
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Somebody asked me last year, Angel, like, what do you want in a guy?
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And because I dated so many different personalities and so many things, I was trying to take bits and pieces from them and add it to one guy, which is great.
angel
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But then I had to check myself and be like, wait, am I that girl that I want in a guy?
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And I was like, there's certain things that I still weren't sure about.
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There's certain things that were super realistic.
angel
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I mean, unrealistic to expect from a guy. And so I had to be like, okay, cool.
angel
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I need to step back and be like, what do I want in a guy? What do I bring to the table? What do I bring to the table?
angel
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What do I want somebody to bring to the table? Because let me tell you why.
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It may seem like a small, dumb thing, but it could be a big problem when you guys decide to walk down the aisle or get married.
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And then you have a guy, for example, who was like, you believe in spanking your kids.
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He doesn't believe in spanking the kids. And then you guys are constantly clashing when it comes to disciplining kids.
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Or you believe in staying in one state. You want to stay in the state you were born, raised, the state you guys met.
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He wants to travel. He believes in having like five homes, traveling around the world.
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He loves like just constantly moving houses, that whole thing. You believe in like paying somebody to do the work.
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He's like, DIY projects in the house, that whole thing. And those are like just small examples.
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But just by knowing what you want, I feel like it'll be easier going into a date.
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It's easier to go because now I know there's certain things I'm just not going to tolerate.
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Like there's certain things that I'm just, I'm just not going to tolerate.
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And it's not to say that I'm arrogant or like bossy or anything.
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It's like things that if this person never changed today, will I still marry them?
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Will I still date them? And it's like small things.
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Like, I, my personal preference is I'm just not gonna date outside my religion.
angel
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I am, and when I say religion, I mean like you must love God, have your relationship with God, everything, because I've tried it and it's not the greatest.
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And you think it's gonna work out and it's like, it's not, you know? And at the end of the day, both parties get hurt.
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And so that's just a clear example of one of my scenarios or one of the things where I'm like, if I had known what I wanted back then, and now I'm not saying you have to have all your papers, all your ducks in a row.
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That's not what I'm saying.
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I'm just saying to know what matters to you and know what you want because it becomes a problem when you come together either dating, walking down the aisle in the future, and you still like bashing heads.
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Number three, and I was talking to my friend about this, learn your flaws and your bad habits because there's some habits you're only going to know once you marry to someone.
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But I always say that when I meet or date the person that I'm going to date, I want to be able to say like, hey, I have a bad tendency of not responding to text and it's got nothing against you.
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I'm working on it. I am learning. I am figuring it out. And I've come up with systems in place.
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So like now, because I know that I'm a bad text, and it's not just in relationships, but family, with friends, with people, I've been leaving people undelivered for days.
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And it's not even to say that I just don't want to talk to them.
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I'm mad at them, whatever. It's just like, I just don't like texting.
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If you want something done, call me. That's how I am.
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However, in the past, it's been problems where people would be like, dude, are you like, am I blocked?
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