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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "John Staddon's \"Scientific Method: How Science Works, Fails to Work, and Pretends to Work\" Revolutionized how I think about science.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "John Staddon's \"Scientific Method: How Science Works, Fails to Work, and Pretends to Work\" Revolutionized how I think about science.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.512821
3.846154
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "John Staddon's \"Scientific Method: How Science Works, Fails to Work, and Pretends to Work\" Revolutionized how I think about science.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "John Staddon's \"Scientific Method: How Science Works, Fails to Work, and Pretends to Work\" Revolutionized how I think about science.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.512821
2.512821
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 8, "raw_score_ratio": 4, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 16820, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "any of Byung-Chul Han’s books !", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "any of Byung-Chul Han’s books !", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 2.5, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 4272, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Poli sci: Colomer, Josep M., ed. 2013. Personal Representation: The Neglected Dimension of Electoral Systems. Colchester: ECPR Press. Olson, Mancur Jr. 1965. The Logic of Collective Action: Public Goods and the Theory of Groups. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Poli sci: Colomer, Josep M., ed. 2013. Personal Representation: The Neglected Dimension of Electoral Systems. Colchester: ECPR Press. Olson, Mancur Jr. 1965. The Logic of Collective Action: Public Goods and the Theory of Groups. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Poli sci: Colomer, Josep M., ed. 2013. Personal Representation: The Neglected Dimension of Electoral Systems. Colchester: ECPR Press. Olson, Mancur Jr. 1965. The Logic of Collective Action: Public Goods and the Theory of Groups. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Poli sci: Colomer, Josep M., ed. 2013. Personal Representation: The Neglected Dimension of Electoral Systems. Colchester: ECPR Press. Olson, Mancur Jr. 1965. The Logic of Collective Action: Public Goods and the Theory of Groups. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Henrich, J. (2015). The secret of our success. A trade paperback, yet maybe the best intro to cultural evolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Henrich, J. (2015). The secret of our success. A trade paperback, yet maybe the best intro to cultural evolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Henrich, J. (2015). The secret of our success. A trade paperback, yet maybe the best intro to cultural evolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Henrich, J. (2015). The secret of our success. A trade paperback, yet maybe the best intro to cultural evolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
4.923077
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Henrich, J. (2015). The secret of our success. A trade paperback, yet maybe the best intro to cultural evolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Henrich, J. (2015). The secret of our success. A trade paperback, yet maybe the best intro to cultural evolution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
4.25641
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 4, "raw_score_ratio": 2, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 8905, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mankiw’s *Principles of Economics* /s", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 11969, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The Oxford Solid State Basics by Steven Simon was surprisingly funny and useful. I had to TA a class that was using it, and it's just such an easy and clear intro to solid state physics. The goofy footnotes are awesome.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The history of western philosophy by russell was enjoyable to read (though dense and not sure if underrated). Uncle just threw it at me once at a large family party seeing I was not enjoying being there. Probably should return it to him since its decades later. Also my undergrad physics book (sorry I can't recall the name/author, and just went through my textbooks trying to find it). Found an international version for around 30$ that had three semesters (roughly: mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics) where the domestic version was 150$/semester on the text. Was required to take the first two courses, didn't have time to take the third but read the textbook for interest. Back to philosophy (I am STEM just enjoy philosophy since it is so ingrained in science roots) 'what the buddha taught' by rahula is great. Edit to add: Hawkings 'A brief history of time' and Einstein and Infeld 'The evolution of physics' are both written to make seemingly complex things tangible to someone without the background. Not really academic since the intent for both is to not be textbooks, but still good reads.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
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Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mankiw’s *Principles of Economics* /s", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 525, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mankiw’s *Principles of Economics* /s", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mankiw’s *Principles of Economics* /s", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.192308
4.692308
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 3, "raw_score_ratio": 1.5, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 10523, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 6604, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Classical mechanics by Goldstein https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Mechanics_(Goldstein) Not sure if it is underrated, but at least not as highly rated as it should be!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 2.5, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 11048, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!
5a9dc0ff6b2e164de50ef8c81d2468fd7392d3ba50f03e21b4734aa62dfd7abb
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not in a field related to history, but I found How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill to be quite an entertaining read!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Any academic book made you go: ''Wow... This is so underrated and good...''? It can be academic books of any discipline (STEM, non-STEM etc) be it classical (19-20 century) or modern texts (21 century). Any english or foreign (english-translated) texts are welcomed too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In the field of ancient history: Fergus Millar, The Emperor in the Roman World (1977). Not necessarily underrated but extremely influential and really well written", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.192308
4.692308
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "t2mnnv", "raw_score_chosen": 3, "raw_score_ratio": 1.5, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 4444, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.96 }
Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?
ab1d9aefcd60e661a0e1ac2615a1968f28e9cb33986210bbaf517bf1ebf8e5c6
[ { "content": "Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One tip is to check the rules of the sub you're posting to. Don't just post your survey everywhere because that's spam. Because of the rules, it can actually be a little hard to use Reddit to reach your intended audience. A lot of people want to survey college students, but over at r/college we don't allow surveys and will remove them **every single time**. It's a community for college students to talk to each other, not to be barraged with surveys.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Congratulations on your paper it looks really interesting. Way to spoil it for the rest of us who thought that we had this untapped resource all to ourselves! 😝", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One tip is to check the rules of the sub you're posting to. Don't just post your survey everywhere because that's spam. Because of the rules, it can actually be a little hard to use Reddit to reach your intended audience. A lot of people want to survey college students, but over at r/college we don't allow surveys and will remove them **every single time**. It's a community for college students to talk to each other, not to be barraged with surveys.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
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Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?
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[ { "content": "Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One tip is to check the rules of the sub you're posting to. Don't just post your survey everywhere because that's spam. Because of the rules, it can actually be a little hard to use Reddit to reach your intended audience. A lot of people want to survey college students, but over at r/college we don't allow surveys and will remove them **every single time**. It's a community for college students to talk to each other, not to be barraged with surveys.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks for posting. Extremely timely given both the current circumstances and the need for research specific to the current circumstances. (E.g., new human subjects research guidelines in this time of social distancing)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Using Reddit to recruit research participants online: advantages, disadvantages, academic validation, and other relevant insights Researchers have been using Reddit to recruit participants for a while now. Recently, given the current circumstances that are pushing people to recruit participants and conduct experiments online, this source is becoming more useful than ever. Because of this, I wanted to share a relevant paper]( https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163) that I published a while back, which discusses the use of Reddit in research. I remembered it after getting an email from my university about switching to running experiments online, which made me realize that this paper could be helpful to some people here. Abstract: > Recruiting participants is a necessary step in many studies. With the advent of online research techniques, scientists are looking for new places where participants can be recruited online, in order to overcome the limitations of current sources and avoid the issues associated with sample overuse. The social media website “Reddit” is a potential source for recruitment, as it allows for free and rapid data collection from large samples, while enabling researchers to target specific populations when needed. The ability to recruit for free is especially important because it enables students and early career researchers, for whom even low recruitment costs can be prohibitive, to benefit from the opportunity of conducting research that they otherwise would not be able to. The current article therefore aims to bring this prospective, untapped resource to the attention of the research community. The article discusses current online recruitment sources and their limitations, provides an overview of Reddit, validates its use for research purposes, examines participation data from previous studies which recruited through Reddit, highlights its advantages and limitations as a participant pool, and suggests guidelines that can improve recruitment and retention rates for scientists looking to use Reddit for their research. The paper can be found here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0894439316650163 (non-paywalled versions available via Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/scholar?cluster=11355958646191061289) Also, here’s a selection of some of the articles that have referenced this paper when discussing their use of Reddit to recruit participants: * [Passive and Active Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms Among United States Adults * Are Daily Stand-up Meetings Valuable? A Survey of Developers in Software Teams * Political orientation and physical health: The role of personal responsibility * Game-like personality testing: An emerging mode of personality assessment * The Love of Large Numbers Revisited: A Coherence Model of the Popularity Bias What are your thoughts on using Reddit this way? Any previous experience with it that you'd like to share, or insights/tips that you think could benefit others?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One tip is to check the rules of the sub you're posting to. Don't just post your survey everywhere because that's spam. Because of the rules, it can actually be a little hard to use Reddit to reach your intended audience. A lot of people want to survey college students, but over at r/college we don't allow surveys and will remove them **every single time**. It's a community for college students to talk to each other, not to be barraged with surveys.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
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[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both PhD students in the same school, same department (There are 300+ phd students in our department). Although I’m grateful to have him around during these tough days. But we always talk about how stressful work is, how to improve the system we are developing. Everything is about stress, work, work more. I’m not sure this is healthy ...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll just throw in a different perspective here. I work in academia and have for about a decade. My spouse and I were married a few years and had a young child (3ish) when I started in a master's program part time while I was working full time. She worked part time. About a year into my MS she changed careers and decided to go back to school full time and get an MA. As another commenter mentioned we were in very different disciplines which was probably a good thing. We could read and copy edit each other's work focusing on clarity, without getting too in the weeds technically. This isn't a direct response to your situation, but a related situation. On the one hand neither were PhD programs. On the other, I worked fulltime and was a part time student. She worked part time and was a fulltime student. Between the two of us we had 3 fulltime occupations. And a child to care for. It was incredibly stressful as well as a major commitment of time and money. While living together, owning a home, and raising a family we often didn't see each other several nights a week. And often the nights we did, would consist of work, dinner, get the kid in bed, then put on a pot of coffee and study/write until 3 or 4 am. Then get up to get to work and the kid to day care. We usually took one night off a week as a date night to ensure we still had some time where we weren't consumed by school work. The conclusions which relate to your situation are: - Both partners need to be patient and supportive. - Whether your significant other is in academia or not, they need to understand what the demands and limitations are, hopefully early on. Also what the trajectory for a Phd program is. - It's also really important to be supportive and understand that the academic program isn't forever. This phase looks one way. A post doc will be a different program in a different place with a different schedule. So the current normal and the future new normal will be (and should be!) different too. As will any future research, industry, or academic appointment. - As all of those changes occur you both need to be willing to grow together in new directions. - You will need a support structure in your life, especially if kids are involved. We could not have succeeded without support from family and friends; such as babysitting, day care pick ups, etc. A final thought, good luck and good perseverance! The difference between a successful academic and not (in my experience) is wisdom and perseverance. I know plenty of brilliant people who wouldn't choose academia and probably couldn't see a terminal degree through to the end. I've also dealt with enough folks with terminal degrees that aren't actually all that bright but were diligent and dogged in their persistence. Most I've met were both; smart hard working people who sought the challenge of research and academic discipline for themselves (because we're certainly not in it for the money!)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both PhD students in the same school, same department (There are 300+ phd students in our department). Although I’m grateful to have him around during these tough days. But we always talk about how stressful work is, how to improve the system we are developing. Everything is about stress, work, work more. I’m not sure this is healthy ...", "role": "assistant" } ]
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
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[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both PhD students in the same school, same department (There are 300+ phd students in our department). Although I’m grateful to have him around during these tough days. But we always talk about how stressful work is, how to improve the system we are developing. Everything is about stress, work, work more. I’m not sure this is healthy ...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As with most things, my experience has been mixed. My husband also has a demanding job (he's a lawyer at a big firm), so pre-kids, it was great. I was able to work a pretty long day, which meant more publications, grant applications, etc. and be really productive because he was also working really long hours. My research is in public health law, which isn't quite what he does (he's a tax lawyer), but since we've both got the law background, he understands my work really well and has been a great sounding board over the years. From a financial perspective, it was also great to have him practicing law while I was going through grad school. The less good part of the story comes when we had kids. Because I was seen to be available when I wasn't teaching and I mostly work from home (which is near the kids' school), there were some times of resentment when I picked up significant amounts of slack on that front due to having a more flexible schedule. It got bad a few times, to be honest. But now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient and he's made partner so he's pushing less hard at work, things have reached a good balance.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both PhD students in the same school, same department (There are 300+ phd students in our department). Although I’m grateful to have him around during these tough days. But we always talk about how stressful work is, how to improve the system we are developing. Everything is about stress, work, work more. I’m not sure this is healthy ...", "role": "assistant" } ]
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
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[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both PhD students in the same school, same department (There are 300+ phd students in our department). Although I’m grateful to have him around during these tough days. But we always talk about how stressful work is, how to improve the system we are developing. Everything is about stress, work, work more. I’m not sure this is healthy ...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both PhD students in the same school, same department (There are 300+ phd students in our department). Although I’m grateful to have him around during these tough days. But we always talk about how stressful work is, how to improve the system we are developing. Everything is about stress, work, work more. I’m not sure this is healthy ...", "role": "assistant" } ]
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our world is very peculiar and often difficult to explain to people who are not academics. So many aspects just seem downright weird to people in regular jobs and with good reason. You go on the job market in September hoping to get a job in August. Nine months notice? In most industries you would give maybe two weeks notice at most. Our gradations of promotion sound downright depressing and unvalued. Imagine explaining to your working class parents that you plan to be a student for another two years to get another graduate degree. But then you’re going to stay in school for another 4 to 10 years to get a ANOTHER graduate degree. Then maybe you’re going to get a post doc degree. All of this means you still don’t have a professional title like they would in a company where by now you might be a vice president. Here is where it gets really wacky. After being a student, if you are very lucky and very talented, you can become an assistant professor. And then if you’re even more talented and more lucky you become an associate professor. That last term “associate” makes people think of Walmart: “I need an associate for cleanup on aisle five.” You publish and you don’t get any direct payment for publishing. You may have the summer “off”, that is actually not be paid for the summer but you really have to work hard over the summer especially if you are at a research university. Why? It goes on and on. Very very difficult to translate. https://www.chronicle.com/article/You-Can-Go-Home-for-the/136355/", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll just throw in a different perspective here. I work in academia and have for about a decade. My spouse and I were married a few years and had a young child (3ish) when I started in a master's program part time while I was working full time. She worked part time. About a year into my MS she changed careers and decided to go back to school full time and get an MA. As another commenter mentioned we were in very different disciplines which was probably a good thing. We could read and copy edit each other's work focusing on clarity, without getting too in the weeds technically. This isn't a direct response to your situation, but a related situation. On the one hand neither were PhD programs. On the other, I worked fulltime and was a part time student. She worked part time and was a fulltime student. Between the two of us we had 3 fulltime occupations. And a child to care for. It was incredibly stressful as well as a major commitment of time and money. While living together, owning a home, and raising a family we often didn't see each other several nights a week. And often the nights we did, would consist of work, dinner, get the kid in bed, then put on a pot of coffee and study/write until 3 or 4 am. Then get up to get to work and the kid to day care. We usually took one night off a week as a date night to ensure we still had some time where we weren't consumed by school work. The conclusions which relate to your situation are: - Both partners need to be patient and supportive. - Whether your significant other is in academia or not, they need to understand what the demands and limitations are, hopefully early on. Also what the trajectory for a Phd program is. - It's also really important to be supportive and understand that the academic program isn't forever. This phase looks one way. A post doc will be a different program in a different place with a different schedule. So the current normal and the future new normal will be (and should be!) different too. As will any future research, industry, or academic appointment. - As all of those changes occur you both need to be willing to grow together in new directions. - You will need a support structure in your life, especially if kids are involved. We could not have succeeded without support from family and friends; such as babysitting, day care pick ups, etc. A final thought, good luck and good perseverance! The difference between a successful academic and not (in my experience) is wisdom and perseverance. I know plenty of brilliant people who wouldn't choose academia and probably couldn't see a terminal degree through to the end. I've also dealt with enough folks with terminal degrees that aren't actually all that bright but were diligent and dogged in their persistence. Most I've met were both; smart hard working people who sought the challenge of research and academic discipline for themselves (because we're certainly not in it for the money!)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our world is very peculiar and often difficult to explain to people who are not academics. So many aspects just seem downright weird to people in regular jobs and with good reason. You go on the job market in September hoping to get a job in August. Nine months notice? In most industries you would give maybe two weeks notice at most. Our gradations of promotion sound downright depressing and unvalued. Imagine explaining to your working class parents that you plan to be a student for another two years to get another graduate degree. But then you’re going to stay in school for another 4 to 10 years to get a ANOTHER graduate degree. Then maybe you’re going to get a post doc degree. All of this means you still don’t have a professional title like they would in a company where by now you might be a vice president. Here is where it gets really wacky. After being a student, if you are very lucky and very talented, you can become an assistant professor. And then if you’re even more talented and more lucky you become an associate professor. That last term “associate” makes people think of Walmart: “I need an associate for cleanup on aisle five.” You publish and you don’t get any direct payment for publishing. You may have the summer “off”, that is actually not be paid for the summer but you really have to work hard over the summer especially if you are at a research university. Why? It goes on and on. Very very difficult to translate. https://www.chronicle.com/article/You-Can-Go-Home-for-the/136355/", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.448718
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll just throw in a different perspective here. I work in academia and have for about a decade. My spouse and I were married a few years and had a young child (3ish) when I started in a master's program part time while I was working full time. She worked part time. About a year into my MS she changed careers and decided to go back to school full time and get an MA. As another commenter mentioned we were in very different disciplines which was probably a good thing. We could read and copy edit each other's work focusing on clarity, without getting too in the weeds technically. This isn't a direct response to your situation, but a related situation. On the one hand neither were PhD programs. On the other, I worked fulltime and was a part time student. She worked part time and was a fulltime student. Between the two of us we had 3 fulltime occupations. And a child to care for. It was incredibly stressful as well as a major commitment of time and money. While living together, owning a home, and raising a family we often didn't see each other several nights a week. And often the nights we did, would consist of work, dinner, get the kid in bed, then put on a pot of coffee and study/write until 3 or 4 am. Then get up to get to work and the kid to day care. We usually took one night off a week as a date night to ensure we still had some time where we weren't consumed by school work. The conclusions which relate to your situation are: - Both partners need to be patient and supportive. - Whether your significant other is in academia or not, they need to understand what the demands and limitations are, hopefully early on. Also what the trajectory for a Phd program is. - It's also really important to be supportive and understand that the academic program isn't forever. This phase looks one way. A post doc will be a different program in a different place with a different schedule. So the current normal and the future new normal will be (and should be!) different too. As will any future research, industry, or academic appointment. - As all of those changes occur you both need to be willing to grow together in new directions. - You will need a support structure in your life, especially if kids are involved. We could not have succeeded without support from family and friends; such as babysitting, day care pick ups, etc. A final thought, good luck and good perseverance! The difference between a successful academic and not (in my experience) is wisdom and perseverance. I know plenty of brilliant people who wouldn't choose academia and probably couldn't see a terminal degree through to the end. I've also dealt with enough folks with terminal degrees that aren't actually all that bright but were diligent and dogged in their persistence. Most I've met were both; smart hard working people who sought the challenge of research and academic discipline for themselves (because we're certainly not in it for the money!)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll just throw in a different perspective here. I work in academia and have for about a decade. My spouse and I were married a few years and had a young child (3ish) when I started in a master's program part time while I was working full time. She worked part time. About a year into my MS she changed careers and decided to go back to school full time and get an MA. As another commenter mentioned we were in very different disciplines which was probably a good thing. We could read and copy edit each other's work focusing on clarity, without getting too in the weeds technically. This isn't a direct response to your situation, but a related situation. On the one hand neither were PhD programs. On the other, I worked fulltime and was a part time student. She worked part time and was a fulltime student. Between the two of us we had 3 fulltime occupations. And a child to care for. It was incredibly stressful as well as a major commitment of time and money. While living together, owning a home, and raising a family we often didn't see each other several nights a week. And often the nights we did, would consist of work, dinner, get the kid in bed, then put on a pot of coffee and study/write until 3 or 4 am. Then get up to get to work and the kid to day care. We usually took one night off a week as a date night to ensure we still had some time where we weren't consumed by school work. The conclusions which relate to your situation are: - Both partners need to be patient and supportive. - Whether your significant other is in academia or not, they need to understand what the demands and limitations are, hopefully early on. Also what the trajectory for a Phd program is. - It's also really important to be supportive and understand that the academic program isn't forever. This phase looks one way. A post doc will be a different program in a different place with a different schedule. So the current normal and the future new normal will be (and should be!) different too. As will any future research, industry, or academic appointment. - As all of those changes occur you both need to be willing to grow together in new directions. - You will need a support structure in your life, especially if kids are involved. We could not have succeeded without support from family and friends; such as babysitting, day care pick ups, etc. A final thought, good luck and good perseverance! The difference between a successful academic and not (in my experience) is wisdom and perseverance. I know plenty of brilliant people who wouldn't choose academia and probably couldn't see a terminal degree through to the end. I've also dealt with enough folks with terminal degrees that aren't actually all that bright but were diligent and dogged in their persistence. Most I've met were both; smart hard working people who sought the challenge of research and academic discipline for themselves (because we're certainly not in it for the money!)", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.384615
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our world is very peculiar and often difficult to explain to people who are not academics. So many aspects just seem downright weird to people in regular jobs and with good reason. You go on the job market in September hoping to get a job in August. Nine months notice? In most industries you would give maybe two weeks notice at most. Our gradations of promotion sound downright depressing and unvalued. Imagine explaining to your working class parents that you plan to be a student for another two years to get another graduate degree. But then you’re going to stay in school for another 4 to 10 years to get a ANOTHER graduate degree. Then maybe you’re going to get a post doc degree. All of this means you still don’t have a professional title like they would in a company where by now you might be a vice president. Here is where it gets really wacky. After being a student, if you are very lucky and very talented, you can become an assistant professor. And then if you’re even more talented and more lucky you become an associate professor. That last term “associate” makes people think of Walmart: “I need an associate for cleanup on aisle five.” You publish and you don’t get any direct payment for publishing. You may have the summer “off”, that is actually not be paid for the summer but you really have to work hard over the summer especially if you are at a research university. Why? It goes on and on. Very very difficult to translate. https://www.chronicle.com/article/You-Can-Go-Home-for-the/136355/", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As with most things, my experience has been mixed. My husband also has a demanding job (he's a lawyer at a big firm), so pre-kids, it was great. I was able to work a pretty long day, which meant more publications, grant applications, etc. and be really productive because he was also working really long hours. My research is in public health law, which isn't quite what he does (he's a tax lawyer), but since we've both got the law background, he understands my work really well and has been a great sounding board over the years. From a financial perspective, it was also great to have him practicing law while I was going through grad school. The less good part of the story comes when we had kids. Because I was seen to be available when I wasn't teaching and I mostly work from home (which is near the kids' school), there were some times of resentment when I picked up significant amounts of slack on that front due to having a more flexible schedule. It got bad a few times, to be honest. But now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient and he's made partner so he's pushing less hard at work, things have reached a good balance.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our world is very peculiar and often difficult to explain to people who are not academics. So many aspects just seem downright weird to people in regular jobs and with good reason. You go on the job market in September hoping to get a job in August. Nine months notice? In most industries you would give maybe two weeks notice at most. Our gradations of promotion sound downright depressing and unvalued. Imagine explaining to your working class parents that you plan to be a student for another two years to get another graduate degree. But then you’re going to stay in school for another 4 to 10 years to get a ANOTHER graduate degree. Then maybe you’re going to get a post doc degree. All of this means you still don’t have a professional title like they would in a company where by now you might be a vice president. Here is where it gets really wacky. After being a student, if you are very lucky and very talented, you can become an assistant professor. And then if you’re even more talented and more lucky you become an associate professor. That last term “associate” makes people think of Walmart: “I need an associate for cleanup on aisle five.” You publish and you don’t get any direct payment for publishing. You may have the summer “off”, that is actually not be paid for the summer but you really have to work hard over the summer especially if you are at a research university. Why? It goes on and on. Very very difficult to translate. https://www.chronicle.com/article/You-Can-Go-Home-for-the/136355/", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.448718
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our world is very peculiar and often difficult to explain to people who are not academics. So many aspects just seem downright weird to people in regular jobs and with good reason. You go on the job market in September hoping to get a job in August. Nine months notice? In most industries you would give maybe two weeks notice at most. Our gradations of promotion sound downright depressing and unvalued. Imagine explaining to your working class parents that you plan to be a student for another two years to get another graduate degree. But then you’re going to stay in school for another 4 to 10 years to get a ANOTHER graduate degree. Then maybe you’re going to get a post doc degree. All of this means you still don’t have a professional title like they would in a company where by now you might be a vice president. Here is where it gets really wacky. After being a student, if you are very lucky and very talented, you can become an assistant professor. And then if you’re even more talented and more lucky you become an associate professor. That last term “associate” makes people think of Walmart: “I need an associate for cleanup on aisle five.” You publish and you don’t get any direct payment for publishing. You may have the summer “off”, that is actually not be paid for the summer but you really have to work hard over the summer especially if you are at a research university. Why? It goes on and on. Very very difficult to translate. https://www.chronicle.com/article/You-Can-Go-Home-for-the/136355/", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our world is very peculiar and often difficult to explain to people who are not academics. So many aspects just seem downright weird to people in regular jobs and with good reason. You go on the job market in September hoping to get a job in August. Nine months notice? In most industries you would give maybe two weeks notice at most. Our gradations of promotion sound downright depressing and unvalued. Imagine explaining to your working class parents that you plan to be a student for another two years to get another graduate degree. But then you’re going to stay in school for another 4 to 10 years to get a ANOTHER graduate degree. Then maybe you’re going to get a post doc degree. All of this means you still don’t have a professional title like they would in a company where by now you might be a vice president. Here is where it gets really wacky. After being a student, if you are very lucky and very talented, you can become an assistant professor. And then if you’re even more talented and more lucky you become an associate professor. That last term “associate” makes people think of Walmart: “I need an associate for cleanup on aisle five.” You publish and you don’t get any direct payment for publishing. You may have the summer “off”, that is actually not be paid for the summer but you really have to work hard over the summer especially if you are at a research university. Why? It goes on and on. Very very difficult to translate. https://www.chronicle.com/article/You-Can-Go-Home-for-the/136355/", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.448718
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As with most things, my experience has been mixed. My husband also has a demanding job (he's a lawyer at a big firm), so pre-kids, it was great. I was able to work a pretty long day, which meant more publications, grant applications, etc. and be really productive because he was also working really long hours. My research is in public health law, which isn't quite what he does (he's a tax lawyer), but since we've both got the law background, he understands my work really well and has been a great sounding board over the years. From a financial perspective, it was also great to have him practicing law while I was going through grad school. The less good part of the story comes when we had kids. Because I was seen to be available when I wasn't teaching and I mostly work from home (which is near the kids' school), there were some times of resentment when I picked up significant amounts of slack on that front due to having a more flexible schedule. It got bad a few times, to be honest. But now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient and he's made partner so he's pushing less hard at work, things have reached a good balance.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have only dated other academics so I can't really answer your question directly. I can say, though, the couples that I knew that broke up during grad school were ones where the non-uni partner expected school to be a 9-5 job and got really upset when their partner had to work late or go into the office on weekends. Depending on what field you're in, your workload might fluctuate quite a bit. My first 2 years had such heavy coursework that I barely had time for anything else. I met my partner after that period, whose getting a PhD in a neighbouring uni. His workload has been consistent through his degree and pretty much works 9-5. I cannot do that and graduate on time. However, on date nights I make an effort to spend my focus on him and when he's off adventuring on weekends, I get caught up on some readings. I think it really depends on whether your partner is willing to support you if you have a busy semester, which will include rough days for months at a time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I started my PhD then 9 months in I started dating someone who is now my wife. Back then her salary was 3 times my stipend, so at the beginning I made it clear to her that for several years I'd be very limited in what money I could spend on holidays, trips, etc. She didn't give a shit about that, so all good on that side. At times it was frustrating for both of us, in different ways, that I just couldn't seem to switch off from my research the way she could switch off from her work when we both came home. That was something I should have worked on much more at the time, but failed to do so. It was something overlooked for a while, though, that one of us was doing a job to pay their share of the bills and the other was fulfilling a life's dream in getting that qualification, and that 'coming home' for both of us meant different things. That's something to keep in mind. At my writing-up stage I already had a full-time job, so I would work for 5 days and spend one day at the weekend back in the lab writing-up. That was a period of time that was tough on both of us, spending only one full day together per week, but we got through that too. By then I'd learned that when I got home, I left work and PhD at the door, so that helped a lot. To respond directly to something you said: > but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship You need to *make time* outside of your research for your home life. Do not let it consume you, get good at closing the laptop for the night or for the weekend and leave the desk. Dedicate time to you, to your partner and to other aspects of your life in the same way that you will dedicate chunks of your week to your studies. Be very strict with yourself!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
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4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "g1jph5", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 1885, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.91 }
What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm married to a non-academic. There were a few rough years where I insisted he didn't get it. But I realized that I have self-worth that's not tied to my advisor's feedback or success and that resulted in a lot less tension in our relationship. It turns out, he had higher expectations for how I should be treated by my department than I had for myself. I don't think I'd be doing well in academia if I had a partner who was in the field. Just like all relationships, everyone needs to do the work necessary to communicate and trust one another otherwise it's not gonna be a fun time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
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4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "g1jph5", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 1229, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.91 }
What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
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3.820513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My PhD studies were an excuse for my spouse to cut and run. Three children (initially under the age of ten) were supportive and communicative throughout. I couldn’t have done it without them. Cheers to single parenthood.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im in my second year of a PhD and married to a non-academic. What I'm about to say will sound like the most cliche thing in the world, but you say \"grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship \". Well.... Don't do that. Its frustratingly easy to forget once you are inside, but there is a world where you don't have to burn yourself. My wife and I have a system in place, and i think thats been helping me cope with this whole ordeal. Whenever i have crazy ours, or i go to the lab on weekends, or something like that, she forces me to ask myself (or she asks me) if it can be done tomorrow/monday, so for instance, taking care of the animals after a surgery, that has to be done over the weekend whether we like it or not, re-plotting data, can be done on monday. Finishing a presentation for the next day, has to be done even at crazy hours, filling the documentation to archive, can be done tomorrow, and so on. And also, be honest and tell them how you feel, the whole academic world is weird and its hard for people to understand it. Every PhD experience is different, but in my experience, the most crucial thing is that your partner is ready for the roller-coaster that is this thing, when you feel like the king of the world one week, and an useless POS the next one.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BETTER!!! It is one hundred percent better. We are 40 years in this June. Been together since I figured out being a professor was the best option because the NFL wasn’t going to work out (seventh grade). The last thing you want or need is a partner who is caught up in the cultural shit show that is academia. It is not a natural normal morally balanced environment. Someone outside keeps the narcissism at bay. Good luck!!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love having a partner outside academia. Helped me work more regular hours (I do 9-5 just like him, unless I have a deadline), he’s there to pick up the slack at home when I’m especially busy, and he makes a regular income that is much better than a grad student’s. He’s an intellectual and even comes to some conferences with me, even though higher education is not for him (he actually struggled in school for reasons that had nothing to do with intelligence). It can work great for some partners to have one person outside academia. Just make sure you’re making time for your person and it’ll be okay. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As with most things, my experience has been mixed. My husband also has a demanding job (he's a lawyer at a big firm), so pre-kids, it was great. I was able to work a pretty long day, which meant more publications, grant applications, etc. and be really productive because he was also working really long hours. My research is in public health law, which isn't quite what he does (he's a tax lawyer), but since we've both got the law background, he understands my work really well and has been a great sounding board over the years. From a financial perspective, it was also great to have him practicing law while I was going through grad school. The less good part of the story comes when we had kids. Because I was seen to be available when I wasn't teaching and I mostly work from home (which is near the kids' school), there were some times of resentment when I picked up significant amounts of slack on that front due to having a more flexible schedule. It got bad a few times, to be honest. But now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient and he's made partner so he's pushing less hard at work, things have reached a good balance.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love having a partner outside academia. Helped me work more regular hours (I do 9-5 just like him, unless I have a deadline), he’s there to pick up the slack at home when I’m especially busy, and he makes a regular income that is much better than a grad student’s. He’s an intellectual and even comes to some conferences with me, even though higher education is not for him (he actually struggled in school for reasons that had nothing to do with intelligence). It can work great for some partners to have one person outside academia. Just make sure you’re making time for your person and it’ll be okay. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As with most things, my experience has been mixed. My husband also has a demanding job (he's a lawyer at a big firm), so pre-kids, it was great. I was able to work a pretty long day, which meant more publications, grant applications, etc. and be really productive because he was also working really long hours. My research is in public health law, which isn't quite what he does (he's a tax lawyer), but since we've both got the law background, he understands my work really well and has been a great sounding board over the years. From a financial perspective, it was also great to have him practicing law while I was going through grad school. The less good part of the story comes when we had kids. Because I was seen to be available when I wasn't teaching and I mostly work from home (which is near the kids' school), there were some times of resentment when I picked up significant amounts of slack on that front due to having a more flexible schedule. It got bad a few times, to be honest. But now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient and he's made partner so he's pushing less hard at work, things have reached a good balance.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As with most things, my experience has been mixed. My husband also has a demanding job (he's a lawyer at a big firm), so pre-kids, it was great. I was able to work a pretty long day, which meant more publications, grant applications, etc. and be really productive because he was also working really long hours. My research is in public health law, which isn't quite what he does (he's a tax lawyer), but since we've both got the law background, he understands my work really well and has been a great sounding board over the years. From a financial perspective, it was also great to have him practicing law while I was going through grad school. The less good part of the story comes when we had kids. Because I was seen to be available when I wasn't teaching and I mostly work from home (which is near the kids' school), there were some times of resentment when I picked up significant amounts of slack on that front due to having a more flexible schedule. It got bad a few times, to be honest. But now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient and he's made partner so he's pushing less hard at work, things have reached a good balance.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
4.25641
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love having a partner outside academia. Helped me work more regular hours (I do 9-5 just like him, unless I have a deadline), he’s there to pick up the slack at home when I’m especially busy, and he makes a regular income that is much better than a grad student’s. He’s an intellectual and even comes to some conferences with me, even though higher education is not for him (he actually struggled in school for reasons that had nothing to do with intelligence). It can work great for some partners to have one person outside academia. Just make sure you’re making time for your person and it’ll be okay. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have only dated other academics so I can't really answer your question directly. I can say, though, the couples that I knew that broke up during grad school were ones where the non-uni partner expected school to be a 9-5 job and got really upset when their partner had to work late or go into the office on weekends. Depending on what field you're in, your workload might fluctuate quite a bit. My first 2 years had such heavy coursework that I barely had time for anything else. I met my partner after that period, whose getting a PhD in a neighbouring uni. His workload has been consistent through his degree and pretty much works 9-5. I cannot do that and graduate on time. However, on date nights I make an effort to spend my focus on him and when he's off adventuring on weekends, I get caught up on some readings. I think it really depends on whether your partner is willing to support you if you have a busy semester, which will include rough days for months at a time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love having a partner outside academia. Helped me work more regular hours (I do 9-5 just like him, unless I have a deadline), he’s there to pick up the slack at home when I’m especially busy, and he makes a regular income that is much better than a grad student’s. He’s an intellectual and even comes to some conferences with me, even though higher education is not for him (he actually struggled in school for reasons that had nothing to do with intelligence). It can work great for some partners to have one person outside academia. Just make sure you’re making time for your person and it’ll be okay. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have only dated other academics so I can't really answer your question directly. I can say, though, the couples that I knew that broke up during grad school were ones where the non-uni partner expected school to be a 9-5 job and got really upset when their partner had to work late or go into the office on weekends. Depending on what field you're in, your workload might fluctuate quite a bit. My first 2 years had such heavy coursework that I barely had time for anything else. I met my partner after that period, whose getting a PhD in a neighbouring uni. His workload has been consistent through his degree and pretty much works 9-5. I cannot do that and graduate on time. However, on date nights I make an effort to spend my focus on him and when he's off adventuring on weekends, I get caught up on some readings. I think it really depends on whether your partner is willing to support you if you have a busy semester, which will include rough days for months at a time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have only dated other academics so I can't really answer your question directly. I can say, though, the couples that I knew that broke up during grad school were ones where the non-uni partner expected school to be a 9-5 job and got really upset when their partner had to work late or go into the office on weekends. Depending on what field you're in, your workload might fluctuate quite a bit. My first 2 years had such heavy coursework that I barely had time for anything else. I met my partner after that period, whose getting a PhD in a neighbouring uni. His workload has been consistent through his degree and pretty much works 9-5. I cannot do that and graduate on time. However, on date nights I make an effort to spend my focus on him and when he's off adventuring on weekends, I get caught up on some readings. I think it really depends on whether your partner is willing to support you if you have a busy semester, which will include rough days for months at a time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love having a partner outside academia. Helped me work more regular hours (I do 9-5 just like him, unless I have a deadline), he’s there to pick up the slack at home when I’m especially busy, and he makes a regular income that is much better than a grad student’s. He’s an intellectual and even comes to some conferences with me, even though higher education is not for him (he actually struggled in school for reasons that had nothing to do with intelligence). It can work great for some partners to have one person outside academia. Just make sure you’re making time for your person and it’ll be okay. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love having a partner outside academia. Helped me work more regular hours (I do 9-5 just like him, unless I have a deadline), he’s there to pick up the slack at home when I’m especially busy, and he makes a regular income that is much better than a grad student’s. He’s an intellectual and even comes to some conferences with me, even though higher education is not for him (he actually struggled in school for reasons that had nothing to do with intelligence). It can work great for some partners to have one person outside academia. Just make sure you’re making time for your person and it’ll be okay. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I started my PhD then 9 months in I started dating someone who is now my wife. Back then her salary was 3 times my stipend, so at the beginning I made it clear to her that for several years I'd be very limited in what money I could spend on holidays, trips, etc. She didn't give a shit about that, so all good on that side. At times it was frustrating for both of us, in different ways, that I just couldn't seem to switch off from my research the way she could switch off from her work when we both came home. That was something I should have worked on much more at the time, but failed to do so. It was something overlooked for a while, though, that one of us was doing a job to pay their share of the bills and the other was fulfilling a life's dream in getting that qualification, and that 'coming home' for both of us meant different things. That's something to keep in mind. At my writing-up stage I already had a full-time job, so I would work for 5 days and spend one day at the weekend back in the lab writing-up. That was a period of time that was tough on both of us, spending only one full day together per week, but we got through that too. By then I'd learned that when I got home, I left work and PhD at the door, so that helped a lot. To respond directly to something you said: > but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship You need to *make time* outside of your research for your home life. Do not let it consume you, get good at closing the laptop for the night or for the weekend and leave the desk. Dedicate time to you, to your partner and to other aspects of your life in the same way that you will dedicate chunks of your week to your studies. Be very strict with yourself!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I started my PhD then 9 months in I started dating someone who is now my wife. Back then her salary was 3 times my stipend, so at the beginning I made it clear to her that for several years I'd be very limited in what money I could spend on holidays, trips, etc. She didn't give a shit about that, so all good on that side. At times it was frustrating for both of us, in different ways, that I just couldn't seem to switch off from my research the way she could switch off from her work when we both came home. That was something I should have worked on much more at the time, but failed to do so. It was something overlooked for a while, though, that one of us was doing a job to pay their share of the bills and the other was fulfilling a life's dream in getting that qualification, and that 'coming home' for both of us meant different things. That's something to keep in mind. At my writing-up stage I already had a full-time job, so I would work for 5 days and spend one day at the weekend back in the lab writing-up. That was a period of time that was tough on both of us, spending only one full day together per week, but we got through that too. By then I'd learned that when I got home, I left work and PhD at the door, so that helped a lot. To respond directly to something you said: > but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship You need to *make time* outside of your research for your home life. Do not let it consume you, get good at closing the laptop for the night or for the weekend and leave the desk. Dedicate time to you, to your partner and to other aspects of your life in the same way that you will dedicate chunks of your week to your studies. Be very strict with yourself!", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.192308
4.692308
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
086861f1d7b03f7bebf0b87483e4f79ee9a2dc3c1b3b44a8fffe2da1bfbe3113
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm married to a non-academic. There were a few rough years where I insisted he didn't get it. But I realized that I have self-worth that's not tied to my advisor's feedback or success and that resulted in a lot less tension in our relationship. It turns out, he had higher expectations for how I should be treated by my department than I had for myself. I don't think I'd be doing well in academia if I had a partner who was in the field. Just like all relationships, everyone needs to do the work necessary to communicate and trust one another otherwise it's not gonna be a fun time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In my experience it’s very difficult, but manageable. A PhD requires you to be very selfish with your time - plans get delayed and canceled. Meetings/project commitments/travel opportunities come up and you aren’t really in a position to say “no” to most of them. There is time off, and you need to prioritize that time with your partner rather than individual activities. But still, you’d need a very understanding partner to make all this work. Excelling in a PhD program requires you to make it the most important thing in your life, and I don’t think it’s something that can be done working 9-5. Weekends/late nights/off hours happen, and that’s just part of the game. If there was a period in your life where you should really buckle down and grind, this is it. With all of this said, I’ve made it work and many others have. Communicate when you’re overwhelmed and short on time and make the best of the time you do have.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm married to a non-academic. There were a few rough years where I insisted he didn't get it. But I realized that I have self-worth that's not tied to my advisor's feedback or success and that resulted in a lot less tension in our relationship. It turns out, he had higher expectations for how I should be treated by my department than I had for myself. I don't think I'd be doing well in academia if I had a partner who was in the field. Just like all relationships, everyone needs to do the work necessary to communicate and trust one another otherwise it's not gonna be a fun time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.192308
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What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!
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[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm married to a non-academic. There were a few rough years where I insisted he didn't get it. But I realized that I have self-worth that's not tied to my advisor's feedback or success and that resulted in a lot less tension in our relationship. It turns out, he had higher expectations for how I should be treated by my department than I had for myself. I don't think I'd be doing well in academia if I had a partner who was in the field. Just like all relationships, everyone needs to do the work necessary to communicate and trust one another otherwise it's not gonna be a fun time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My PhD studies were an excuse for my spouse to cut and run. Three children (initially under the age of ten) were supportive and communicative throughout. I couldn’t have done it without them. Cheers to single parenthood.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is it like being in a PhD program while being in a relationship with someone who is not in school at all or doesn’t know much about academia? Hi guys! I’m not sure if this is the right page to ask this sort of question on, & if you have suggestions for what other page I can ask this sort of question do share below in the comments. I am starting a PhD program in the Fall that requires both my significant other & I to move to a different state. I love them so much & am extremely grateful they are supportive of what I am choosing to do with my life & willing to move with me. My s/o & I do not live together, but we have been together for a few years & have spent enough time around each other to know our habits/routines. We alternate staying at each other’s apartments for X amount of days. He graduated from uni years ago & has been in his career ever since. My partner is a pretty self-sufficient person, but I still worry that grad school will consume me & I will not have any time for him & our relationship. I would just like to know other people’s experiences of what it is like being in a committed relationship with someone who isn’t in grad school. I’ll take all the advice/opinions/thoughts that I can get. Thank you SO much in advance!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm married to a non-academic. There were a few rough years where I insisted he didn't get it. But I realized that I have self-worth that's not tied to my advisor's feedback or success and that resulted in a lot less tension in our relationship. It turns out, he had higher expectations for how I should be treated by my department than I had for myself. I don't think I'd be doing well in academia if I had a partner who was in the field. Just like all relationships, everyone needs to do the work necessary to communicate and trust one another otherwise it's not gonna be a fun time.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've been in academia in the US for 25+ years now and have only known a small handful of people who were denied tenure at one place and later got it elsewhere; all of them left R1s or elite private schools and took a step down (sometimes a *major* step down) in prestige before getting tenure. Most had to start over or received limited credit (1-2 years) toward tenure at their second institution. Here's the rub: I've served on far too many faculty searches over the years and have seen how search committees respond to denials of tenure. No matter what the file might say, they tend to think \"There's something wrong with this person, is s/he worth the risk to us?\" because obviously another institution rejected them. When you have a flooded market and dozens, if not hundreds, of qualified candidates applying for every job people are looking for any excuse to weed the pool. The fact that someone was effectively fired from a previous job is a pretty good excuse in some people's minds. There are two exceptions: everyone knows that Harvard/Yale et. al don't typically tenure junior faculty so they get a pass, as do most people who come with $$$ external grants. But there is a very strong bias against anyone perceived to be \"damaged goods\" in the US market, and nobody will trust letters of recommendation from a former department because they believe (with some reason) that those often omit serious problems because the writers/school don't want a lawsuit. So unless there's an inside connection-- someone in the hiring department knows someone in the former department --the odds are the committee is going to balk. For the majority of US academics, I'd say, a failed tenure bid is a career-ending event. Certainly the vast majority of people I know who have been denied tenure never earned tenure at a second institution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not US based, but I'd say it depends on the reason for being let go. Specifically on how well you, and your reference writers, can sell it as being beyond your control.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've been in academia in the US for 25+ years now and have only known a small handful of people who were denied tenure at one place and later got it elsewhere; all of them left R1s or elite private schools and took a step down (sometimes a *major* step down) in prestige before getting tenure. Most had to start over or received limited credit (1-2 years) toward tenure at their second institution. Here's the rub: I've served on far too many faculty searches over the years and have seen how search committees respond to denials of tenure. No matter what the file might say, they tend to think \"There's something wrong with this person, is s/he worth the risk to us?\" because obviously another institution rejected them. When you have a flooded market and dozens, if not hundreds, of qualified candidates applying for every job people are looking for any excuse to weed the pool. The fact that someone was effectively fired from a previous job is a pretty good excuse in some people's minds. There are two exceptions: everyone knows that Harvard/Yale et. al don't typically tenure junior faculty so they get a pass, as do most people who come with $$$ external grants. But there is a very strong bias against anyone perceived to be \"damaged goods\" in the US market, and nobody will trust letters of recommendation from a former department because they believe (with some reason) that those often omit serious problems because the writers/school don't want a lawsuit. So unless there's an inside connection-- someone in the hiring department knows someone in the former department --the odds are the committee is going to balk. For the majority of US academics, I'd say, a failed tenure bid is a career-ending event. Certainly the vast majority of people I know who have been denied tenure never earned tenure at a second institution.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It varies a lot between institutions, but denial of tenure doesn’t necessarily mean it’s game over for an academic career. At my school I’d estimate that 75% go on to get tenure elsewhere (sometimes right away) and the other 25% decide to do something different. Many department chairs keep an eye out for terrific mid level faculty who might’ve lost tenure bids due to some political nonsense at their institutions.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So after you get denied tenure typically your contract runs for another year during which you can look for another job. I know a few people who havent gotten tenure and later got it somewhere else but it was always at a worse school. One went from an r1 to a regional non research university, one went from a regional to a community college. There are also people in my field who don't get tenure and leave academic but nobody I personally have known.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It varies a lot between institutions, but denial of tenure doesn’t necessarily mean it’s game over for an academic career. At my school I’d estimate that 75% go on to get tenure elsewhere (sometimes right away) and the other 25% decide to do something different. Many department chairs keep an eye out for terrific mid level faculty who might’ve lost tenure bids due to some political nonsense at their institutions.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It varies a lot between institutions, but denial of tenure doesn’t necessarily mean it’s game over for an academic career. At my school I’d estimate that 75% go on to get tenure elsewhere (sometimes right away) and the other 25% decide to do something different. Many department chairs keep an eye out for terrific mid level faculty who might’ve lost tenure bids due to some political nonsense at their institutions.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not US based, but I'd say it depends on the reason for being let go. Specifically on how well you, and your reference writers, can sell it as being beyond your control.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It varies a lot between institutions, but denial of tenure doesn’t necessarily mean it’s game over for an academic career. At my school I’d estimate that 75% go on to get tenure elsewhere (sometimes right away) and the other 25% decide to do something different. Many department chairs keep an eye out for terrific mid level faculty who might’ve lost tenure bids due to some political nonsense at their institutions.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I\"ll add that it's typically not a surprise if you don't get it. You should be having yearly reviews with your chair...and they SHOULD be giving you an honest assessment of your chances at tenure. At my school a number of people leave after year 3 or 4 because of those assessments. The third year review committee lays it out for those who are in danger- either get it together or get out essentially. those people typically stay for year 4 while they are job searching elsewhere, and do end up landing other academic gigs. We have a low failure to attain tenure rate because of this system, and it's easier to hide on job applications. But even then, someone walking away at year 4 does cause questions on search committees.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So after you get denied tenure typically your contract runs for another year during which you can look for another job. I know a few people who havent gotten tenure and later got it somewhere else but it was always at a worse school. One went from an r1 to a regional non research university, one went from a regional to a community college. There are also people in my field who don't get tenure and leave academic but nobody I personally have known.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I\"ll add that it's typically not a surprise if you don't get it. You should be having yearly reviews with your chair...and they SHOULD be giving you an honest assessment of your chances at tenure. At my school a number of people leave after year 3 or 4 because of those assessments. The third year review committee lays it out for those who are in danger- either get it together or get out essentially. those people typically stay for year 4 while they are job searching elsewhere, and do end up landing other academic gigs. We have a low failure to attain tenure rate because of this system, and it's easier to hide on job applications. But even then, someone walking away at year 4 does cause questions on search committees.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I\"ll add that it's typically not a surprise if you don't get it. You should be having yearly reviews with your chair...and they SHOULD be giving you an honest assessment of your chances at tenure. At my school a number of people leave after year 3 or 4 because of those assessments. The third year review committee lays it out for those who are in danger- either get it together or get out essentially. those people typically stay for year 4 while they are job searching elsewhere, and do end up landing other academic gigs. We have a low failure to attain tenure rate because of this system, and it's easier to hide on job applications. But even then, someone walking away at year 4 does cause questions on search committees.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not US based, but I'd say it depends on the reason for being let go. Specifically on how well you, and your reference writers, can sell it as being beyond your control.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I\"ll add that it's typically not a surprise if you don't get it. You should be having yearly reviews with your chair...and they SHOULD be giving you an honest assessment of your chances at tenure. At my school a number of people leave after year 3 or 4 because of those assessments. The third year review committee lays it out for those who are in danger- either get it together or get out essentially. those people typically stay for year 4 while they are job searching elsewhere, and do end up landing other academic gigs. We have a low failure to attain tenure rate because of this system, and it's easier to hide on job applications. But even then, someone walking away at year 4 does cause questions on search committees.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I\"ll add that it's typically not a surprise if you don't get it. You should be having yearly reviews with your chair...and they SHOULD be giving you an honest assessment of your chances at tenure. At my school a number of people leave after year 3 or 4 because of those assessments. The third year review committee lays it out for those who are in danger- either get it together or get out essentially. those people typically stay for year 4 while they are job searching elsewhere, and do end up landing other academic gigs. We have a low failure to attain tenure rate because of this system, and it's easier to hide on job applications. But even then, someone walking away at year 4 does cause questions on search committees.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We hired someone was was denied tenure at another SLAC. It was a bit more prestigious school though. As far as I know, they are thriving.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I\"ll add that it's typically not a surprise if you don't get it. You should be having yearly reviews with your chair...and they SHOULD be giving you an honest assessment of your chances at tenure. At my school a number of people leave after year 3 or 4 because of those assessments. The third year review committee lays it out for those who are in danger- either get it together or get out essentially. those people typically stay for year 4 while they are job searching elsewhere, and do end up landing other academic gigs. We have a low failure to attain tenure rate because of this system, and it's easier to hide on job applications. But even then, someone walking away at year 4 does cause questions on search committees.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.987179
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm at a regional university. In recent memory from my college, we have had three people denied tenure. One is now teaching at a community college (and is quite happy), one started a consulting company, and the other went to work for a local government agency making as much as a typical full professor at my university. I also agree with SnowblindAlbino that there is a bias against people denied tenure in search committees for the same reasons mentioned. In fact, anyone about 4-5 years in an assistant professor gig is looked at with ~~suspension~~ suspicion. Why are they on the market right before going up, they must know they are not going to get tenure...what is wrong with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So after you get denied tenure typically your contract runs for another year during which you can look for another job. I know a few people who havent gotten tenure and later got it somewhere else but it was always at a worse school. One went from an r1 to a regional non research university, one went from a regional to a community college. There are also people in my field who don't get tenure and leave academic but nobody I personally have known.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm at a regional university. In recent memory from my college, we have had three people denied tenure. One is now teaching at a community college (and is quite happy), one started a consulting company, and the other went to work for a local government agency making as much as a typical full professor at my university. I also agree with SnowblindAlbino that there is a bias against people denied tenure in search committees for the same reasons mentioned. In fact, anyone about 4-5 years in an assistant professor gig is looked at with ~~suspension~~ suspicion. Why are they on the market right before going up, they must know they are not going to get tenure...what is wrong with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.410256
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm at a regional university. In recent memory from my college, we have had three people denied tenure. One is now teaching at a community college (and is quite happy), one started a consulting company, and the other went to work for a local government agency making as much as a typical full professor at my university. I also agree with SnowblindAlbino that there is a bias against people denied tenure in search committees for the same reasons mentioned. In fact, anyone about 4-5 years in an assistant professor gig is looked at with ~~suspension~~ suspicion. Why are they on the market right before going up, they must know they are not going to get tenure...what is wrong with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not US based, but I'd say it depends on the reason for being let go. Specifically on how well you, and your reference writers, can sell it as being beyond your control.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm at a regional university. In recent memory from my college, we have had three people denied tenure. One is now teaching at a community college (and is quite happy), one started a consulting company, and the other went to work for a local government agency making as much as a typical full professor at my university. I also agree with SnowblindAlbino that there is a bias against people denied tenure in search committees for the same reasons mentioned. In fact, anyone about 4-5 years in an assistant professor gig is looked at with ~~suspension~~ suspicion. Why are they on the market right before going up, they must know they are not going to get tenure...what is wrong with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.410256
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm at a regional university. In recent memory from my college, we have had three people denied tenure. One is now teaching at a community college (and is quite happy), one started a consulting company, and the other went to work for a local government agency making as much as a typical full professor at my university. I also agree with SnowblindAlbino that there is a bias against people denied tenure in search committees for the same reasons mentioned. In fact, anyone about 4-5 years in an assistant professor gig is looked at with ~~suspension~~ suspicion. Why are they on the market right before going up, they must know they are not going to get tenure...what is wrong with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We hired someone was was denied tenure at another SLAC. It was a bit more prestigious school though. As far as I know, they are thriving.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm at a regional university. In recent memory from my college, we have had three people denied tenure. One is now teaching at a community college (and is quite happy), one started a consulting company, and the other went to work for a local government agency making as much as a typical full professor at my university. I also agree with SnowblindAlbino that there is a bias against people denied tenure in search committees for the same reasons mentioned. In fact, anyone about 4-5 years in an assistant professor gig is looked at with ~~suspension~~ suspicion. Why are they on the market right before going up, they must know they are not going to get tenure...what is wrong with them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.410256
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So after you get denied tenure typically your contract runs for another year during which you can look for another job. I know a few people who havent gotten tenure and later got it somewhere else but it was always at a worse school. One went from an r1 to a regional non research university, one went from a regional to a community college. There are also people in my field who don't get tenure and leave academic but nobody I personally have known.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not US based, but I'd say it depends on the reason for being let go. Specifically on how well you, and your reference writers, can sell it as being beyond your control.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So after you get denied tenure typically your contract runs for another year during which you can look for another job. I know a few people who havent gotten tenure and later got it somewhere else but it was always at a worse school. One went from an r1 to a regional non research university, one went from a regional to a community college. There are also people in my field who don't get tenure and leave academic but nobody I personally have known.", "role": "assistant" } ]
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Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?
51080169147a22f229fe2fc904b318a21d091268d5ce775f6c8429390d55ba1c
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "More commonly, I've seen people leave after a strong 3rd year review, or after successfully getting tenure at a school. I work at a small-ish teaching school, so we see a lot of transit. We hire a lot of people that are coming from R1s and want to be more involved with teaching, student support, etc, so we get applications from people that look well on their way to tenure. We also get really nice apps from folks that are recently tenured. I guess the people that didn't earn fall into two categories for me: 1) Not interested in continuing in academia, and 2) poor institutional match. In category 1, well, there's not much to discuss. They fizzled out in TT probably because they just lost interest, which is fine. Number 2 ends up having a CV that looks much more appropriate for a different institution type. That door swings both ways. We lose faculty at our school that publish their asses off, get tenure, and then bounce to another program pretty quickly. We also get people that didn't publish enough for an R1, but have published enough for us to consider them. Tenure is not uniform, so it's probably a good idea to not ask for a shortened timeline. My school has stuff in our tenure guidelines that's not publication related that will take years of work and iteration. I have seen a few people that were obviously not going to get tenure that applied to programs that I worked in. Their CVs were awful, and the letter was blatantly suggesting how lucky we were that a person from such a prestigious university would be applying to our school. Bold move, but I doubt it works. I would say the most popular route I've observed is that academics who aren't going to get tenure transition into administrative roles at schools. This can work very well for all parties at times, but can also mean that a person who failed to earn tenure is now a \"faculty development specialist\" or some such nonsense.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We hired someone was was denied tenure at another SLAC. It was a bit more prestigious school though. As far as I know, they are thriving.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is your academic career over if you are let go after not being able to get tenure? Or can you get tenure in another institution sooner without waiting for 5 years again? I am not that familiar with the Academic career ladder. But from what I have read, it seems that when you are in a tenure track position you usually get five years to earn tenure. If you fail to get tenure you are let go. Is your whole academic career destroyed after that? Do you have to wait 5 more years in another institution to get tenure there? Or can you get it earlier?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "More commonly, I've seen people leave after a strong 3rd year review, or after successfully getting tenure at a school. I work at a small-ish teaching school, so we see a lot of transit. We hire a lot of people that are coming from R1s and want to be more involved with teaching, student support, etc, so we get applications from people that look well on their way to tenure. We also get really nice apps from folks that are recently tenured. I guess the people that didn't earn fall into two categories for me: 1) Not interested in continuing in academia, and 2) poor institutional match. In category 1, well, there's not much to discuss. They fizzled out in TT probably because they just lost interest, which is fine. Number 2 ends up having a CV that looks much more appropriate for a different institution type. That door swings both ways. We lose faculty at our school that publish their asses off, get tenure, and then bounce to another program pretty quickly. We also get people that didn't publish enough for an R1, but have published enough for us to consider them. Tenure is not uniform, so it's probably a good idea to not ask for a shortened timeline. My school has stuff in our tenure guidelines that's not publication related that will take years of work and iteration. I have seen a few people that were obviously not going to get tenure that applied to programs that I worked in. Their CVs were awful, and the letter was blatantly suggesting how lucky we were that a person from such a prestigious university would be applying to our school. Bold move, but I doubt it works. I would say the most popular route I've observed is that academics who aren't going to get tenure transition into administrative roles at schools. This can work very well for all parties at times, but can also mean that a person who failed to earn tenure is now a \"faculty development specialist\" or some such nonsense.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
5.330128
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've known people that took temporary leaves from their PhD for medical and/or mental reasons. It's uncommon but it does happen. Most of them were at least partly supported by their parents during that year, usually including moving back home. If they stayed at their old apartment instead of moving home, I think they'd take a basic job that required no serious thinking (like in retail).", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've known people that took temporary leaves from their PhD for medical and/or mental reasons. It's uncommon but it does happen. Most of them were at least partly supported by their parents during that year, usually including moving back home. If they stayed at their old apartment instead of moving home, I think they'd take a basic job that required no serious thinking (like in retail).", "role": "assistant" } ]
10
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Silly that you’re getting the “nobody takes breaks” replies. It’s super field-dependent. In computer science, people take breaks to work as software engineers. Sometimes it’s to work on a start-up for a few years, other times it’s just to take a break from research and do a “straightforward” software engineering job for a year. In this case the salaries are typically far higher than stipends, so it’s also an opportunity to build up a financial cushion. Doing this in fields where jobs aren’t as readily available is likely much less common, and more difficult without family support.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.179487
7.007073
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Job", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.179487
6.762821
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.179487
4.779487
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.179487
4.401709
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can get federal student loans. I kinda knew I was going to do a long postdoc since my last couple years of PhD. That would have made me eligible for a pretty decent loan forgiveness program they had back then. Not sure if still in existence. Also, who is to say if they will do another mass forgiveness in a few years? My friend did 50k in loans just to go on nice vacations during PhD. Paid them off in 1 year after graduating with a 130k industry salary. Edit. Looks like the program is still in effect. It is called the NIH loan repayment reprogram. You can get 100,000 dollars for free and it has a 50 percent acceptance rate! Again, another thing I did not realize existed years ago. Should have taken out way way more loans in undergrad and in PhD like 200,000 worth and put them in some safe index funds. Imagine going with bitcoin in 2010 though during my PhD! Basically a shit ton of free money for PhDs doing postdocs. If you don't get the award just cash out the funds and pay the government back before the interest eats you alive.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.179487
2.512821
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm assuming you don't have access to financial privilege, which is of course how most PhD students deal with this. The first and most obvious option is to get a random job or two, like in retail, service work, data entry etc. where you can clock in and clock out. For those of us who are used to always working or thinking about work, that attitude can be really reinvigorating in and of itself. Another option is to find work that is semi-relevant to your field. Your school/program may have job placement or internship programs for grad students that could help you find somewhere to work. The issue with this is that it's harder to explain that you need a mental health break if you appear to be switching into a career-driven opportunity. But some programs will be more understanding about this - mine has allowed several students to take a year of leave to pursue professional opportunities, and some students ended up leaving permanently while others returned at the end. You could also look into academically-relevant professional development-type internships. For example, some institutes offer research residencies, or you could apply for funding to do fieldwork, or even take an intensive language course abroad. This would only be a partial break, since you would still be in academia, but it would at least be a break from your institution/city/colleagues and potentially a break from your usual research. In general though I think this is much easier to swing in the humanities/social sciences than in STEM. If you're working in a lab, it's much harder to get out of those responsibilities. But if your only major commitment is your dissertation, it probably won't matter to your advisors if you dip out for a year.", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.179487
0
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your student handbook will likely have information about university-specific policies for a leave of absence. Perhaps you can work with a mental health professional to 1) help with the burnout and 2) qualify your leave as short-term or long-term disability?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Silly that you’re getting the “nobody takes breaks” replies. It’s super field-dependent. In computer science, people take breaks to work as software engineers. Sometimes it’s to work on a start-up for a few years, other times it’s just to take a break from research and do a “straightforward” software engineering job for a year. In this case the salaries are typically far higher than stipends, so it’s also an opportunity to build up a financial cushion. Doing this in fields where jobs aren’t as readily available is likely much less common, and more difficult without family support.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your student handbook will likely have information about university-specific policies for a leave of absence. Perhaps you can work with a mental health professional to 1) help with the burnout and 2) qualify your leave as short-term or long-term disability?", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.371795
7.095933
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your student handbook will likely have information about university-specific policies for a leave of absence. Perhaps you can work with a mental health professional to 1) help with the burnout and 2) qualify your leave as short-term or long-term disability?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Job", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your student handbook will likely have information about university-specific policies for a leave of absence. Perhaps you can work with a mental health professional to 1) help with the burnout and 2) qualify your leave as short-term or long-term disability?", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.371795
6.830128
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your student handbook will likely have information about university-specific policies for a leave of absence. Perhaps you can work with a mental health professional to 1) help with the burnout and 2) qualify your leave as short-term or long-term disability?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your student handbook will likely have information about university-specific policies for a leave of absence. Perhaps you can work with a mental health professional to 1) help with the burnout and 2) qualify your leave as short-term or long-term disability?", "role": "assistant" } ]
7.371795
4.260684
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Job", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
6.650641
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 29, "raw_score_ratio": 1.2083333333, "raw_score_rejected": 24, "seconds_difference": 14669, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
4.958974
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 29, "raw_score_ratio": 2.9, "raw_score_rejected": 10, "seconds_difference": 7134, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
4.636752
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 29, "raw_score_ratio": 3.2222222222, "raw_score_rejected": 9, "seconds_difference": 16617, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can get federal student loans. I kinda knew I was going to do a long postdoc since my last couple years of PhD. That would have made me eligible for a pretty decent loan forgiveness program they had back then. Not sure if still in existence. Also, who is to say if they will do another mass forgiveness in a few years? My friend did 50k in loans just to go on nice vacations during PhD. Paid them off in 1 year after graduating with a 130k industry salary. Edit. Looks like the program is still in effect. It is called the NIH loan repayment reprogram. You can get 100,000 dollars for free and it has a 50 percent acceptance rate! Again, another thing I did not realize existed years ago. Should have taken out way way more loans in undergrad and in PhD like 200,000 worth and put them in some safe index funds. Imagine going with bitcoin in 2010 though during my PhD! Basically a shit ton of free money for PhDs doing postdocs. If you don't get the award just cash out the funds and pay the government back before the interest eats you alive.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
3.025641
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cleaned tables and barbacked for 9 months. I also ran and lifted everyday, and read 2 book for fun a week. It was wonderful. Almost every restaurant, coffee shop and retail shop in my current city has a help wanted sign out front.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
0
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 29, "raw_score_ratio": 9.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 6751, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Silly that you’re getting the “nobody takes breaks” replies. It’s super field-dependent. In computer science, people take breaks to work as software engineers. Sometimes it’s to work on a start-up for a few years, other times it’s just to take a break from research and do a “straightforward” software engineering job for a year. In this case the salaries are typically far higher than stipends, so it’s also an opportunity to build up a financial cushion. Doing this in fields where jobs aren’t as readily available is likely much less common, and more difficult without family support.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Job", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Silly that you’re getting the “nobody takes breaks” replies. It’s super field-dependent. In computer science, people take breaks to work as software engineers. Sometimes it’s to work on a start-up for a few years, other times it’s just to take a break from research and do a “straightforward” software engineering job for a year. In this case the salaries are typically far higher than stipends, so it’s also an opportunity to build up a financial cushion. Doing this in fields where jobs aren’t as readily available is likely much less common, and more difficult without family support.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
6.650641
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 29, "raw_score_ratio": 1.2083333333, "raw_score_rejected": 24, "seconds_difference": 117, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Silly that you’re getting the “nobody takes breaks” replies. It’s super field-dependent. In computer science, people take breaks to work as software engineers. Sometimes it’s to work on a start-up for a few years, other times it’s just to take a break from research and do a “straightforward” software engineering job for a year. In this case the salaries are typically far higher than stipends, so it’s also an opportunity to build up a financial cushion. Doing this in fields where jobs aren’t as readily available is likely much less common, and more difficult without family support.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Silly that you’re getting the “nobody takes breaks” replies. It’s super field-dependent. In computer science, people take breaks to work as software engineers. Sometimes it’s to work on a start-up for a few years, other times it’s just to take a break from research and do a “straightforward” software engineering job for a year. In this case the salaries are typically far higher than stipends, so it’s also an opportunity to build up a financial cushion. Doing this in fields where jobs aren’t as readily available is likely much less common, and more difficult without family support.", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.858974
4.636752
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Job", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Job", "role": "assistant" } ]
6.538462
4.871795
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 24, "raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 9, "seconds_difference": 1948, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
5.605128
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 1.1, "raw_score_rejected": 10, "seconds_difference": 33359, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
5.482906
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 1.2222222222, "raw_score_rejected": 9, "seconds_difference": 42842, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can get federal student loans. I kinda knew I was going to do a long postdoc since my last couple years of PhD. That would have made me eligible for a pretty decent loan forgiveness program they had back then. Not sure if still in existence. Also, who is to say if they will do another mass forgiveness in a few years? My friend did 50k in loans just to go on nice vacations during PhD. Paid them off in 1 year after graduating with a 130k industry salary. Edit. Looks like the program is still in effect. It is called the NIH loan repayment reprogram. You can get 100,000 dollars for free and it has a 50 percent acceptance rate! Again, another thing I did not realize existed years ago. Should have taken out way way more loans in undergrad and in PhD like 200,000 worth and put them in some safe index funds. Imagine going with bitcoin in 2010 though during my PhD! Basically a shit ton of free money for PhDs doing postdocs. If you don't get the award just cash out the funds and pay the government back before the interest eats you alive.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
4.871795
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 1.8333333333, "raw_score_rejected": 6, "seconds_difference": 36473, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Parents", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
4.505128
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 2.2, "raw_score_rejected": 5, "seconds_difference": 26023, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did clinical trials to keep me going. I did 4 during the course of the PhD, each one paid out a different amount and lasted a variable amount of time, but it was the only way to significantly supplement my income legally without getting a time intensive job. I'm grateful that I found a job shortly after and don't have to rely on them anymore, but I'm equally grateful that they kept my head above water and let me take time off for health and personal reasons without causing a secondary money issue.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
4.871795
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 1.8333333333, "raw_score_rejected": 6, "seconds_difference": 20045, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.955128
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 2.75, "raw_score_rejected": 4, "seconds_difference": 16213, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You may have to get a job, or two or three to make ends meet. That’s what my daughter is doing while working on her doctorate. She was GA for three years, but still needs to work other jobs to make ends meet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.955128
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.038462
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 32976, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Driving for Uber (srsly) can pay bills with only 10-20 hours per week", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
1.205128
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 5.5, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 16946, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Savings is an option for some. My PhD program pays 40k a year, of which I spend less than 20k. I have been able to save plenty that if I needed a break I can take one.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.038462
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 10124, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just like if you were burnt out in another career and had another job, you basically have three options if you take a leave of absence 1) You can be supported by family (if that's an option for you) 2) You can find another job that can support yourself that is less taxing. Many of these jobs will come with other complications if you live in the US, like having to figure out how to enroll in your state exchange for health insurance. 3) If your mental health is so bad that you are legitimately mentally ill to the point of not being able to work, you can go on federal disability. Otherwise if none of those scenarios apply, you just have to suck it up and get through it, or leave and find another career path that feels more sustainable to you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.038462
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 9940, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m working full time…. Otherwise there’s no way I’d be able to afford it. I refuse to take out student loans or live in poverty again like I did in my 20s. I’m at the age where I need to be building salary and putting away for retirement. Luckily my program allows me 7 years to finish, so I’ve been one course shy of a full-time student each semester to fit it all in. I reduced my course hours even more this semester because I got offered an interesting job on weeknights in my field and I have a ton of work projects. Even though it pushed my course schedule another 8 months, who cares? I have plenty of time to graduate. My program doesn’t seem to have a problem with this. It seems to me that it would be much easier to take a semester or two off and make bank working 40 hours per week, than to try and only rely on GA salary the whole time. My program does require students to pay a type of ‘holding fee’ during semesters they’re not taking classes (which I think is wrong - just have your graduation time limit and trust people to get it done or not!) But maybe you could do like me and just take one class and work at a job full time for a while? It all depends on the rules in your department.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.038462
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 5873, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Many university jobs like TAing requires that you're a student. There are other jobs on campus that don't like if you have an education department or centre that creates workshops, a careers centre etc. They hire PhD student level people and don't care if you're on leave usually. You can also look to see if anyone on Upwork or other sites like that is hiring for your skills. Burnout is so serious. I basically saved money all last academic year to take this past summer off all work. I don't have any family or help, and no funding (fun times). It was so worth it. My dept and supervisor and people didn't understand what I was doing and give me some shit but on paper I'm within my program rules so whateva. Find yourself a friendly admin in your department who can make sure you're within all the necessary rules for your degree. I budgeted and basically only spent what I had to for the summer and just chilled around my town. I joined a softball league that was only $100 for the whole summer but like three times a week so it was super busy. It worked! I'm actually not burnt out. I'm back to work and PhD (year 6, a top 20 school globally). Do it for yourself!! The academy can wait.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Take the summer off and get a job at a National Park. They usually start hiring in March or April and have worker housing. The great outdoors is very healing. Kind of what our National Park system was made for.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.705128
3.038462
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 11, "raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 1464, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Usually, people do not take a break during their PhD, at least in my fields. I have heard of people doing an internship in some companies for a couple of months, but the PI needs to give the approval for that. If you want to take a break, you will have to discuss about that to your PI first.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.641026
5.529915
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can get federal student loans. I kinda knew I was going to do a long postdoc since my last couple years of PhD. That would have made me eligible for a pretty decent loan forgiveness program they had back then. Not sure if still in existence. Also, who is to say if they will do another mass forgiveness in a few years? My friend did 50k in loans just to go on nice vacations during PhD. Paid them off in 1 year after graduating with a 130k industry salary. Edit. Looks like the program is still in effect. It is called the NIH loan repayment reprogram. You can get 100,000 dollars for free and it has a 50 percent acceptance rate! Again, another thing I did not realize existed years ago. Should have taken out way way more loans in undergrad and in PhD like 200,000 worth and put them in some safe index funds. Imagine going with bitcoin in 2010 though during my PhD! Basically a shit ton of free money for PhDs doing postdocs. If you don't get the award just cash out the funds and pay the government back before the interest eats you alive.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Double check your uni’s policy about leave. Some programs provide a 1-term paid leave option. It’s not common but it exists. Others have hardship grants for grad students. (I admit that this is more common for well-funded R1 programs.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.641026
4.974359
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did clinical trials to keep me going. I did 4 during the course of the PhD, each one paid out a different amount and lasted a variable amount of time, but it was the only way to significantly supplement my income legally without getting a time intensive job. I'm grateful that I found a job shortly after and don't have to rely on them anymore, but I'm equally grateful that they kept my head above water and let me take time off for health and personal reasons without causing a secondary money issue.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Parents", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did clinical trials to keep me going. I did 4 during the course of the PhD, each one paid out a different amount and lasted a variable amount of time, but it was the only way to significantly supplement my income legally without getting a time intensive job. I'm grateful that I found a job shortly after and don't have to rely on them anymore, but I'm equally grateful that they kept my head above water and let me take time off for health and personal reasons without causing a secondary money issue.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.384615
5.184615
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Parents", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Parents", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 6953, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did clinical trials to keep me going. I did 4 during the course of the PhD, each one paid out a different amount and lasted a variable amount of time, but it was the only way to significantly supplement my income legally without getting a time intensive job. I'm grateful that I found a job shortly after and don't have to rely on them anymore, but I'm equally grateful that they kept my head above water and let me take time off for health and personal reasons without causing a secondary money issue.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did clinical trials to keep me going. I did 4 during the course of the PhD, each one paid out a different amount and lasted a variable amount of time, but it was the only way to significantly supplement my income legally without getting a time intensive job. I'm grateful that I found a job shortly after and don't have to rely on them anymore, but I'm equally grateful that they kept my head above water and let me take time off for health and personal reasons without causing a secondary money issue.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.384615
4.384615
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.25, "raw_score_rejected": 4, "seconds_difference": 16985, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm on medical leave and get money from Insurance and my parents, but I live in Belgium where the phd has the status ofa job", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm on medical leave and get money from Insurance and my parents, but I live in Belgium where the phd has the status ofa job", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.25, "raw_score_rejected": 4, "seconds_difference": 23272, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
4.923077
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 4, "raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 16763, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Driving for Uber (srsly) can pay bills with only 10-20 hours per week", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A job?", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.25641
4.25641
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 4, "raw_score_ratio": 2, "raw_score_rejected": 2, "seconds_difference": 733, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You may have to get a job, or two or three to make ends meet. That’s what my daughter is doing while working on her doctorate. She was GA for three years, but still needs to work other jobs to make ends meet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
5.070513
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.25, "raw_score_rejected": 4, "seconds_difference": 9672, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teach!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 33748, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Driving for Uber (srsly) can pay bills with only 10-20 hours per week", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
3.820513
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Savings is an option for some. My PhD program pays 40k a year, of which I spend less than 20k. I have been able to save plenty that if I needed a break I can take one.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
{ "domain": "askacademia_train", "post_id": "xnr064", "raw_score_chosen": 5, "raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667, "raw_score_rejected": 3, "seconds_difference": 10896, "source": "stanfordnlp/SHP", "upvote_ratio": 0.98 }
For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just like if you were burnt out in another career and had another job, you basically have three options if you take a leave of absence 1) You can be supported by family (if that's an option for you) 2) You can find another job that can support yourself that is less taxing. Many of these jobs will come with other complications if you live in the US, like having to figure out how to enroll in your state exchange for health insurance. 3) If your mental health is so bad that you are legitimately mentally ill to the point of not being able to work, you can go on federal disability. Otherwise if none of those scenarios apply, you just have to suck it up and get through it, or leave and find another career path that feels more sustainable to you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m working full time…. Otherwise there’s no way I’d be able to afford it. I refuse to take out student loans or live in poverty again like I did in my 20s. I’m at the age where I need to be building salary and putting away for retirement. Luckily my program allows me 7 years to finish, so I’ve been one course shy of a full-time student each semester to fit it all in. I reduced my course hours even more this semester because I got offered an interesting job on weeknights in my field and I have a ton of work projects. Even though it pushed my course schedule another 8 months, who cares? I have plenty of time to graduate. My program doesn’t seem to have a problem with this. It seems to me that it would be much easier to take a semester or two off and make bank working 40 hours per week, than to try and only rely on GA salary the whole time. My program does require students to pay a type of ‘holding fee’ during semesters they’re not taking classes (which I think is wrong - just have your graduation time limit and trust people to get it done or not!) But maybe you could do like me and just take one class and work at a job full time for a while? It all depends on the rules in your department.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
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For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.
f673151a68773a6e09b8131e6d61fa96a29e6c416041bca7206ef6008691c942
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Many university jobs like TAing requires that you're a student. There are other jobs on campus that don't like if you have an education department or centre that creates workshops, a careers centre etc. They hire PhD student level people and don't care if you're on leave usually. You can also look to see if anyone on Upwork or other sites like that is hiring for your skills. Burnout is so serious. I basically saved money all last academic year to take this past summer off all work. I don't have any family or help, and no funding (fun times). It was so worth it. My dept and supervisor and people didn't understand what I was doing and give me some shit but on paper I'm within my program rules so whateva. Find yourself a friendly admin in your department who can make sure you're within all the necessary rules for your degree. I budgeted and basically only spent what I had to for the summer and just chilled around my town. I joined a softball league that was only $100 for the whole summer but like three times a week so it was super busy. It worked! I'm actually not burnt out. I'm back to work and PhD (year 6, a top 20 school globally). Do it for yourself!! The academy can wait.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "For those who take leave from their PhDs, how do you pay the bills? I feel like I've been operating at the edge of burnout for quite a number of years now and could use the break. The only thing that is honestly keeping me from taking it is that I have no idea how I would pay for rent/groceries if I took a temporary leave. How do you do it? How do you find a temporary job that pays the same for a year but simultaneously gives you the break you need to really recharge? What do people do when they need a break but can't financially afford to take one? It feels like taking a leave isn't a real option.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't take leave, but I was burned out for sure and didn't make much progress on my Ph.D. some years. What I \\*did\\* do was two summer internships; those were hard work but also helped me refocus etc. And those were, luckily, in tech companies, so they paid well.", "role": "assistant" } ]
5.320513
4.653846
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