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[57.46 --> 60.02] And that's a command, not an invitation.
[60.56 --> 62.62] A serious command with serious consequences.
[63.68 --> 68.26] That's also when we looked at the definition of forgiveness from Tim Keller, and I think it's helpful to repeat.
[69.00 --> 73.68] Where forgiveness is renouncing revenge and being open to reconciliation.
[73.68 --> 82.42] And last week, Pastor Jonathan was opening up the teaching, both in Matthew 18 and Galatians 6, that we are invited to confront sin.
[82.64 --> 84.14] Very challenging thing to do.
[84.80 --> 91.32] We are invited to do so with gentleness, with love, with tenderness, so that there can be reconciliation.
[92.46 --> 98.68] And then Jonathan kindly said that, I'm going to come up and teach on all the hard things about forgiveness that no one wants to talk about.
[99.22 --> 100.20] And he wasn't wrong.
[100.20 --> 110.00] I want to say at the outset that this is a bit of a unique sermon, because I've tried to incorporate, as much as I could, some of the feedback we've been getting over the course of the last three weeks.
[110.90 --> 116.30] There's no question that when you talk about forgiveness, life stories come up, challenging circumstances are shared.
[116.72 --> 123.16] And I want to honor some of the things that have been shared with me, because I appreciate some of the struggles that people in our church are going through.
[123.66 --> 127.48] And the stuff forgiveness brings up in their life, so you're going to hear some of that this morning.
[127.48 --> 133.18] If you have your Bible, digital or physical, turn with me to Romans chapter 12.
[133.80 --> 137.98] We're going to read 9 to 21, but I'm going to focus on verse 17 to 19.
[139.02 --> 141.70] So Romans 12, starting at verse 9.
[141.70 --> 147.56] Love must be sincere.
[147.56 --> 150.46] Hate what is evil.
[150.84 --> 152.20] Cling to what is good.
[153.06 --> 155.42] Be devoted to another in love.
[156.40 --> 158.54] Honor one another above yourselves.
[159.52 --> 163.80] Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord.
[164.80 --> 166.12] Be joyful in hope.
[167.08 --> 168.30] Patient in affliction.
[169.50 --> 170.58] Faithful in prayer.
[170.58 --> 174.40] Share with the Lord's people who are in need.
[174.84 --> 176.22] Practice hospitality.
[177.40 --> 178.90] Bless those who persecute you.
[179.16 --> 181.18] Bless and do not curse.
[182.14 --> 183.78] Rejoice with those who rejoice.
[184.16 --> 185.64] Mourn with those who mourn.
[186.38 --> 188.24] Live in harmony with one another.
[189.32 --> 193.76] Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.
[194.44 --> 196.94] Do not think you are superior.
[196.94 --> 200.56] Do not repay anyone evil for evil.
[200.72 --> 203.92] Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
[204.76 --> 210.56] If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
[210.56 --> 214.58] Do not take revenge, my dear friends.
[215.00 --> 217.04] But leave room for God's wrath.
[217.52 --> 220.08] For it is written, it is mine to avenge.
[220.30 --> 222.36] I will repay, says the Lord.
[222.36 --> 226.54] On the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him.
[227.02 --> 229.16] If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
[229.58 --> 232.48] In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
[233.58 --> 238.46] Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
[238.46 --> 248.50] Now I want to begin by sharing two scenarios that help us get into this conversation a little bit.
[248.90 --> 252.36] The first scenario is of a pastor of a mid-sized church,
[252.36 --> 256.78] and it came to light that this pastor had an affair with a member of his church,
[257.38 --> 258.96] and at first he denied it,
[259.12 --> 261.30] and then when the evidence and the testimony was overwhelming,
[261.48 --> 263.72] he acknowledged it but downplayed his role in it
[263.72 --> 266.20] and shifted the blame towards the other party in the affair.
[266.20 --> 269.60] The leaders of the church had this very challenging task
[269.60 --> 272.66] of establishing a healing and restoration process,
[273.12 --> 275.24] which this pastor tried to short-circuit
[275.24 --> 278.10] so that he could get back to his position as soon as possible.
[278.90 --> 281.90] And along the way, he kept reminding his own congregation
[281.90 --> 284.22] of their command to forgive him.
[286.52 --> 289.80] Second scenario, a mother and a daughter.
[290.76 --> 293.80] The daughter learned at a young age that you do not cross her mother.
[294.40 --> 295.36] There are consequences.
[296.20 --> 298.62] For denying or saying no to your mother.
[299.16 --> 303.96] And it just so happened that this daughter met and then married a young man
[303.96 --> 305.82] that this mother very much did not like,
[305.94 --> 307.86] for reasons the daughter could never even understand.
[308.74 --> 310.98] The mother would criticize this man,
[311.40 --> 315.08] and she would often speak very disparagingly of this man to her daughter
[315.08 --> 317.20] and to family members and friends in her church.
[317.60 --> 320.88] And every now and then, she would sort of overflow with her anger,
[320.88 --> 324.46] and she would say very hurtful things about the decisions her daughter has made,
[324.56 --> 325.52] the nature of their marriage,
[325.68 --> 328.58] and sort of explode some of her unfair emotions.
[329.38 --> 332.46] Only to then pick up the phone the day after she would explode
[332.46 --> 333.18] and say to her daughter,
[333.26 --> 334.42] I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it.
[334.46 --> 335.12] Will you forgive me?
[335.12 --> 339.10] And the daughter, of course, with deep hurt, would do so.
[339.88 --> 343.60] But the hurt knowing that her mother would do this again and again and again
[343.60 --> 345.10] several times each year.
[347.22 --> 349.24] These are just two stories
[349.24 --> 352.76] that open up the difficulty of forgiveness and reconciliation.
[352.76 --> 354.70] You could tell many more, I'm sure.
[355.82 --> 359.58] Stories of loved ones, spouses, friends, coworkers,
[360.52 --> 363.38] who have a very creative way of downplaying sin,
[363.78 --> 367.26] denying sin, creatively avoiding even talking about it.
[367.98 --> 369.72] They are sorry they got caught,
[369.80 --> 372.74] but show no real repentance for the damage that has been done.
[373.06 --> 375.48] And along the way, they can even weaponize
[375.48 --> 377.74] the Christian command for forgiveness
[377.74 --> 381.60] as a way of saving face and avoiding getting caught.
[382.76 --> 386.32] And some of us know exactly what I'm talking about
[386.32 --> 388.04] in your experience.
[389.22 --> 391.02] And it's very difficult sometimes
[391.02 --> 392.98] to even sit under this teaching
[392.98 --> 394.46] and this sermon series on forgiveness
[394.46 --> 396.06] when you're thinking to yourself,
[396.20 --> 398.80] okay, I do forgive, and I will forgive,
[398.94 --> 400.30] and I desire to forgive,
[400.62 --> 402.74] but I keep getting hurt.
[403.52 --> 405.10] And what do I do then?