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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J K Rowling - CHAPTER ONE - Dudley Demented The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green la...	Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J K Rowling - CHAPTER ONE - Dudley Demented The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green lay parc...
's stopped trying to butt in. Where is he, anyway?' 'I don't know,' said Aunt Petunia, unconcerned. 'Not in the house.' Uncle Vernon grunted. 'Watching the news...' he said scathingly. 'I'd like to know what he's really up to. As if a normal boy cares what's on the news - 'Dudley hasn't got a clue what's go...	s stopped trying to butt in. Where is he, anyway?' 'I don't know,' said Aunt Petunia, unconcerned. 'Not in the house.' Uncle Vernon grunted. 'Watching the news...' he said scathingly. 'I'd like to know what he's really up to. As if a normal boy cares what's on the news - 'Dudley hasn't got a clue what's goi...
news reached Harry's ears and his stomach turned over. Perhaps tonight - after a month of waiting - would be the night. 'Record numbers of stranded holidaymakers fill airports as the Spanish baggage-handlers' strike reaches its second week - ' 'Give 'em a lifelong siesta, I would,' snarled Uncle Vernon over the...	reached Harry's ears and his stomach turned over. Perhaps tonight - after a month of waiting - would be the night. 'Record numbers of stranded holidaymakers fill airports as the Spanish baggage-handlers' strike reaches its second week - ' 'Give 'em a lifelong siesta, I would,' snarled Uncle Vernon over the end ...
preparing to crawl out from under the window. He had moved about two inches when several things happened in very quick succession. A loud, echoing crack broke the sleepy silence like a gunshot; a cat streaked out from under a parked car and flew out of sight; a shriek, a bellowed oath and the sound of breaking ...	ing to crawl out from under the window. He had moved about two inches when several things happened in very quick succession. A loud, echoing crack broke the sleepy silence like a gunshot; a cat streaked out from under a parked car and flew out of sight; a shriek, a bellowed oath and the sound of breaking china ...
turn!' He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbours had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back towards him. Harry moved a few steps closer, taking care to stop just short of the point at which Uncle Vernon's outs...	!' He continued to grin in a horrible, manic way until all the curious neighbours had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry back towards him. Harry moved a few steps closer, taking care to stop just short of the point at which Uncle Vernon's outstret...
triumphant whisper. 'Get out of that one, boy! As if we didn't know you get all your news from those pestilential birds!' Harry hesitated for a moment. It cost him something to tell the truth this time, even though his aunt and uncle could not possibly know how bad he felt at admitting it. 'The owls... aren't b...	ant whisper. 'Get out of that one, boy! As if we didn't know you get all your news from those pestilential birds!' Harry hesitated for a moment. It cost him something to tell the truth this time, even though his aunt and uncle could not possibly know how bad he felt at admitting it. 'The owls... aren't bringing...
magical sound after all. Perhaps he was so desperate for the tiniest sign of contact from the world to which he belonged that he was simply overreacting to perfectly ordinary noises. Could he be sure it hadn't been the sound of something breaking inside a neighbour's house? Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in h...	ical sound after all. Perhaps he was so desperate for the tiniest sign of contact from the world to which he belonged that he was simply overreacting to perfectly ordinary noises. Could he be sure it hadn't been the sound of something breaking inside a neighbour's house? Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in his ...
corner into Magnolia Crescent; halfway along he passed the narrow alleyway down the side of a garage where he had first clapped eyes on his godfather. Sirius, at least, seemed to understand how Harry was feeling... Keep your nose clean and everything will be OK...Be careful and don't do anything rash... Well, thoug...	into Magnolia Crescent; halfway along he passed the narrow alleyway down the side of a garage where he had first clapped eyes on his godfather. Sirius, at least, seemed to understand how Harry was feeling... Keep your nose clean and everything will be OK...Be careful and don't do anything rash... Well, thought Harr...
worry about... old news... The injustice of it all welled up inside him so that he wanted to yell with fury. If it hadn't been for him, nobody would even have known Voldemort was back! And. his reward was to be stuck in Little Whinging for four solid weeks, completely cut off from the magical world, reduced to squa...	about... old news... The injustice of it all welled up inside him so that he wanted to yell with fury. If it hadn't been for him, nobody would even have known Voldemort was back! And. his reward was to be stuck in Little Whinging for four solid weeks, completely cut off from the magical world, reduced to squatting ...
punch harder and more accurately was cause for celebration. Neighbourhood children all around were terrified of him - even more terrified than they were of 'that Potter boy' who, they lad been warned, was a hardened hooligan and attended St Brutus's secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. Harry watched the dark ...	unch harder and more accurately was cause for celebration. Neighbourhood children all around were terrified of him - even more terrified than they were of 'that Potter boy' who, they lad been warned, was a hardened hooligan and attended St Brutus's secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. Harry watched the dark f...
square houses with perfectly manicured lawns, all owned by large, square owners who drove very clean cars similar to Uncle Vernon's. Harry preferred Little Whinging by night, when the curtained windows made patches of jewel-bright colour in the darkness and he ran no danger of hearing disapproving mutters about his 'de...	houses with perfectly manicured lawns, all owned by large, square owners who drove very clean cars similar to Uncle Vernon's. Harry preferred Little Whinging by night, when the curtained windows made patches of jewel-bright colour in the darkness and he ran no danger of hearing disapproving mutters about his 'delinquen...
nothing. The effort of keeping himself from hitting Harry seemed to demand all his self-control. 'So who've you been beating up tonight?' Harry asked, his grin fading. 'Another ten-year-old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago - ' 'He was asking for it,' snarled Dudley. 'Oh yeah?' 'He cheeked me.' ...	. The effort of keeping himself from hitting Harry seemed to demand all his self-control. 'So who've you been beating up tonight?' Harry asked, his grin fading. 'Another ten-year-old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago - ' 'He was asking for it,' snarled Dudley. 'Oh yeah?' 'He cheeked me.' 'Ye...
you can beat up a ten year old. You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?' 'He was sixteen, for your information,' snarled Dudley, 'and he was out cold for twenty minutes after I'd finished with him and he was twice as heavy as you. You just wait till I tell Dad ...	can beat up a ten year old. You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?' 'He was sixteen, for your information,' snarled Dudley, 'and he was out cold for twenty minutes after I'd finished with him and he was twice as heavy as you. You just wait till I tell Dad you ...
Dad! Mum, come and help me! He's killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He's going to - " Don't you point that thing at me!' Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry was pointing the wand directly at Dudley's heart. Harry could feel fourteen years' hatred of Dudley pounding in his veins - what wouldn't he give to strike now,...	ad! Mum, come and help me! He's killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He's going to - " Don't you point that thing at me!' Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry was pointing the wand directly at Dudley's heart. Harry could feel fourteen years' hatred of Dudley pounding in his veins - what wouldn't he give to strike now, ...
I said shut up!' Harry stood stock still, turning his sightless eyes left and right. The cold was so intense he was shivering all over; goose bumps had erupted up his arms and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up - he opened his eyes to their fullest extent, staring blankly around, unseeing. It wa...	said shut up!' Harry stood stock still, turning his sightless eyes left and right. The cold was so intense he was shivering all over; goose bumps had erupted up his arms and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up - he opened his eyes to their fullest extent, staring blankly around, unseeing. It was ...
MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Wand!' Harry muttered frantically, his hands flying over the ground like spiders. 'Where's - wand - come on - lumos!' He said the spell automatically, desperate for light to help him n his search - and to his disbelieving relief, light flared inches from his right ...	OUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Wand!' Harry muttered frantically, his hands flying over the ground like spiders. 'Where's - wand - come on - lumos!' He said the spell automatically, desperate for light to help him n his search - and to his disbelieving relief, light flared inches from his right h...
from the tip of Harry's wand; it's antlers caught the Dementor in the place where the heart should have been; it was thrown backwards, weightless as darkness, and as the stag charged, the Dementor swooped away, bat-like and defeated. 'THIS WAY!' Harry shouted at the stag. Wheeling around, he sprinted down the alley...	the tip of Harry's wand; it's antlers caught the Dementor in the place where the heart should have been; it was thrown backwards, weightless as darkness, and as the stag charged, the Dementor swooped away, bat-like and defeated. 'THIS WAY!' Harry shouted at the stag. Wheeling around, he sprinted down the alleyway, ...
ty old neighbour, came panting into sight. Her grizzled grey hair was escaping from its hairnet, a clanking String shopping bag was swinging from her wrist and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand hurriedly out of sight, but - 'Don't put it away, idiot boy!' she shrie...	old neighbour, came panting into sight. Her grizzled grey hair was escaping from its hairnet, a clanking String shopping bag was swinging from her wrist and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand hurriedly out of sight, but - 'Don't put it away, idiot boy!' she shrieked...
Of course I know Dumbledore, who doesn't know Dumbledore? But come on - I'll be no help if they come back, I've never so much as Transfigured a teabag.' She stooped down, seized one of Dudley's massive arms in her wizened hands and tugged. 'Get up, you useless lump, get up!' But Dudley either could not or w...	course I know Dumbledore, who doesn't know Dumbledore? But come on - I'll be no help if they come back, I've never so much as Transfigured a teabag.' She stooped down, seized one of Dudley's massive arms in her wizened hands and tugged. 'Get up, you useless lump, get up!' But Dudley either could not or woul...
'All those times I came round your house - why didn't you say anything?' 'Dumbledore's orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything, you were too young. I'm sorry I gave you such a miserable time, Harry, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they'd thought you enjoyed it. It wasn't easy, you...	All those times I came round your house - why didn't you say anything?' 'Dumbledore's orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything, you were too young. I'm sorry I gave you such a miserable time, Harry, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they'd thought you enjoyed it. It wasn't easy, you ...
ak thief!' 'Dementors?' repeated Mundungus, aghast. 'Dementors, 'ere?' 'Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!' shrieked Mrs Figg. 'Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!' 'Blimey,' said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs Figg to Harry, and back again. 'Blimey, I - ' 'And you off buyi...	thief!' 'Dementors?' repeated Mundungus, aghast. 'Dementors, 'ere?' 'Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!' shrieked Mrs Figg. 'Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!' 'Blimey,' said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs Figg to Harry, and back again. 'Blimey, I - ' 'And you off buying ...
said we were to keep you from doing magic at all costs... well, it's no good crying over spilt potion, I suppose... but the cat's among the pixies now.' 'So,' Harry panted, 'Dumbledore's... been having... me followed?' 'Of course he has,' said Mrs Figg impatiently. 'Did you expect him to let you wander around o...	we were to keep you from doing magic at all costs... well, it's no good crying over spilt potion, I suppose... but the cat's among the pixies now.' 'So,' Harry panted, 'Dumbledore's... been having... me followed?' 'Of course he has,' said Mrs Figg impatiently. 'Did you expect him to let you wander around on you...
the living room, walrus moustache blowing hither and thither as it always did when he was agitated. He hurried forwards to help Aunt Petunia negotiate a weak-kneed Dudley over the threshold while avoiding stepping in the pool of sick. 'He's ill, Vernon!' 'What is it, son? What's happened7 Did Mrs Polkiss give y...	living room, walrus moustache blowing hither and thither as it always did when he was agitated. He hurried forwards to help Aunt Petunia negotiate a weak-kneed Dudley over the threshold while avoiding stepping in the pool of sick. 'He's ill, Vernon!' 'What is it, son? What's happened7 Did Mrs Polkiss give you s...
did he do to you. Diddy?' Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. 'Was it - was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use - his thing?' Slowly, tremulously, Dudley nodded. 'I didn't!' Harry said sharply, as Aunt Petunia let out a wail and Uncle Vernon rai...	he do to you. Diddy?' Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. 'Was it - was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use - his thing?' Slowly, tremulously, Dudley nodded. 'I didn't!' Harry said sharply, as Aunt Petunia let out a wail and Uncle Vernon raised ...
Yours sincerely, Mafalda Hopkirk Improper Use of Magic Office Ministry of Magic Harry read the letter through twice. He was only vaguely aware of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia talking. Inside his head, all was icy and numb. One fact had penetrated his consciousness like a paralysing dart. He was expelled...	Yours sincerely, Mafalda Hopkirk Improper Use of Magic Office Ministry of Magic Harry read the letter through twice. He was only vaguely aware of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia talking. Inside his head, all was icy and numb. One fact had penetrated his consciousness like a paralysing dart. He was expelled fr...
uffled-looking barn owl was sitting outside on the kitchen sill, having just collided with the closed window. Ignoring Uncle Vernon's anguished yell of 'OWLS!' Harry crossed the room at a run and wrenched the window open. The owl stuck out its leg, to which a small roll of parchment was tied, shook its feathers, an...	led-looking barn owl was sitting outside on the kitchen sill, having just collided with the closed window. Ignoring Uncle Vernon's anguished yell of 'OWLS!' Harry crossed the room at a run and wrenched the window open. The owl stuck out its leg, to which a small roll of parchment was tied, shook its feathers, and t...
Ministry of Magic, expelling me,' said Harry calmly. He was straining his ears to catch any noises outside, in case the Ministry representatives were approaching, and it was easier and quieter to answer Uncle Vernon's questions than to have him start raging and bellowing. 'People like you in government? Oh, this explai...	of Magic, expelling me,' said Harry calmly. He was straining his ears to catch any noises outside, in case the Ministry representatives were approaching, and it was easier and quieter to answer Uncle Vernon's questions than to have him start raging and bellowing. 'People like you in government? Oh, this explains everyt...
ia, very white-faced and with tears in her eyes. But Dudley seemed incapable of saying. He shuddered again and shook his large blond head, and despite the sense of numb dread that had settled on Harry since the arrival of the first owl, he felt a certain curiosity. Dementors caused a person to relive the worst mome...	, very white-faced and with tears in her eyes. But Dudley seemed incapable of saying. He shuddered again and shook his large blond head, and despite the sense of numb dread that had settled on Harry since the arrival of the first owl, he felt a certain curiosity. Dementors caused a person to relive the worst moment...
unt Petunia clapped her hand over her mouth as though she had let slip a disgusting swear word. Uncle Vernon was goggling at her. Harry's brain reeled. Mrs Figg was one thing - but Aunt Petunia? 'How d'you know that?' he asked her, astonished. Aunt Petunia looked quite appalled with herself. She glanced at Uncl...	Petunia clapped her hand over her mouth as though she had let slip a disgusting swear word. Uncle Vernon was goggling at her. Harry's brain reeled. Mrs Figg was one thing - but Aunt Petunia? 'How d'you know that?' he asked her, astonished. Aunt Petunia looked quite appalled with herself. She glanced at Uncle Ve...
distractedly, stomping over to the window and slamming it shut again. Dear Mr Potter, Further to our letter of approximately twenty-two minutes ago, the Ministry of Magic has revised its decision to destroy your wand forthwith. You may retain your wand until your disciplinary hearing on the twelfth of August, at which ...	ractedly, stomping over to the window and slamming it shut again. Dear Mr Potter, Further to our letter of approximately twenty-two minutes ago, the Ministry of Magic has revised its decision to destroy your wand forthwith. You may retain your wand until your disciplinary hearing on the twelfth of August, at which time...
, fighting to control his temper. 'Dudley thought he'd be smart with me, I pulled out my wand but didn't use it. Then two Dementors turned up - ' 'But what ARE Dementoids?' asked Uncle Vernon furiously. 'What do they DO?' 'I told you - they suck all the happiness out of you,' said Harry, 'and if they get the ch...	fighting to control his temper. 'Dudley thought he'd be smart with me, I pulled out my wand but didn't use it. Then two Dementors turned up - ' 'But what ARE Dementoids?' asked Uncle Vernon furiously. 'What do they DO?' 'I told you - they suck all the happiness out of you,' said Harry, 'and if they get the chan...
ementors, Mrs Figg, what the Ministry was up to, how he, Dumbledore, intended to sort everything out - that for the first time in his life he was disappointed to see Sirius's handwriting. Ignoring Uncle Vernons ongoing rant about owls, and narrowing his eyes against a second cloud of dust as the most recent owl took of...	ors, Mrs Figg, what the Ministry was up to, how he, Dumbledore, intended to sort everything out - that for the first time in his life he was disappointed to see Sirius's handwriting. Ignoring Uncle Vernons ongoing rant about owls, and narrowing his eyes against a second cloud of dust as the most recent owl took off bac...
. He felt drained, exhausted. The Dursleys were all staring at him. 'It's you,' said Uncle Vernon forcefully. 'It's got something to do with you, boy, I know it. Why else would they turn up here? Why else would they be down that alleyway? You've got to be the only - the only -'Evidently, he couldn't bring himself t...	He felt drained, exhausted. The Dursleys were all staring at him. 'It's you,' said Uncle Vernon forcefully. 'It's got something to do with you, boy, I know it. Why else would they turn up here? Why else would they be down that alleyway? You've got to be the only - the only -'Evidently, he couldn't bring himself to ...
a look of dawning comprehension coming into his piggy eyes. 'I've heard that name... that was the one who - ' 'Murdered my parents, yes,' Harry said dully. 'But he's gone,' said Uncle Vernon impatiently, without the slightest sign that the murder of Harry's parents might be a painful topic. That giant bloke sai...	look of dawning comprehension coming into his piggy eyes. 'I've heard that name... that was the one who - ' 'Murdered my parents, yes,' Harry said dully. 'But he's gone,' said Uncle Vernon impatiently, without the slightest sign that the murder of Harry's parents might be a painful topic. That giant bloke said ...
Her hands found Dudley's massive leather-clad shoulders and clutched them. 'Hang on,' said Uncle Vernon, looking from his wife to Harry and back again, apparently dazed and confused by the unprecedented understanding that seemed to have sprung up between them. 'Hang on. This Lord Voldything's back, you say.' ...	Her hands found Dudley's massive leather-clad shoulders and clutched them. 'Hang on,' said Uncle Vernon, looking from his wife to Harry and back again, apparently dazed and confused by the unprecedented understanding that seemed to have sprung up between them. 'Hang on. This Lord Voldything's back, you say.' ...
'm right behind you! Get out and never darken our doorstep again! Why we ever kept you in the first place, I don't know, Marge was right, it should have been the orphanage. We were too damn soft for our own good, thought we could squash it out of you, thought we could turn you normal, but you've been rotten from the be...	m right behind you! Get out and never darken our doorstep again! Why we ever kept you in the first place, I don't know, Marge was right, it should have been the orphanage. We were too damn soft for our own good, thought we could squash it out of you, thought we could turn you normal, but you've been rotten from the beg...
her hands. The remains of the envelope smouldered into ash in the silence. 'What is this?' Uncle Vernon said hoarsely. 'What - I don't - 'Petunia?' Aunt Petunia said nothing. Dudley was staring stupidly at his mother, his mouth hanging open. The silence spiralled horribly. Harry was watching his aunt, utterly b...	hands. The remains of the envelope smouldered into ash in the silence. 'What is this?' Uncle Vernon said hoarsely. 'What - I don't - 'Petunia?' Aunt Petunia said nothing. Dudley was staring stupidly at his mother, his mouth hanging open. The silence spiralled horribly. Harry was watching his aunt, utterly bewil...
three separate pieces of parchment the moment he reached the desk in his dark bedroom. His owl, Hedwig, was off hunting; her cage stood empty on the desk. Harry paced the bedroom waiting for her to come back, his head pounding, his brain too busy for sleep even though his eyes stung and itched with tiredness. His back ...	separate pieces of parchment the moment he reached the desk in his dark bedroom. His owl, Hedwig, was off hunting; her cage stood empty on the desk. Harry paced the bedroom waiting for her to come back, his head pounding, his brain too busy for sleep even though his eyes stung and itched with tiredness. His back ached ...
noise, her beak still full of frog. 'Get going, then,' said Harry. She took off immediately. The moment she'd gone, Harry threw himself down on his bed without undressing and stared at the dark ceiling. They were bound to write back quickly; they couldn't possibly ignore a Dementor attack. He'd probably wak...	, her beak still full of frog. 'Get going, then,' said Harry. She took off immediately. The moment she'd gone, Harry threw himself down on his bed without undressing and stared at the dark ceiling. They were bound to write back quickly; they couldn't possibly ignore a Dementor attack. He'd probably wake up ...
recy been severe enough to land him in a cell in Azkaban? Whenever this thought occurred, Harry invariably slid off his bed and began pacing again. On the fourth night after Hedwig's departure Harry was lying in one of his apathetic phases, staring at the ceiling, his exhausted mind quite blank, when his uncle ente...	cy been severe enough to land him in a cell in Azkaban? Whenever this thought occurred, Harry invariably slid off his bed and began pacing again. On the fourth night after Hedwig's departure Harry was lying in one of his apathetic phases, staring at the ceiling, his exhausted mind quite blank, when his uncle entere...