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https://local.theonion.com/gated-community-under-siege-by-savages-1819586457
gated community under siege by savages
1
https://local.theonion.com/i-don-t-know-who-i-am-anymore-little-buddy-says-mot-1819575229
'i don't know who i am anymore, little buddy!' says mother in midst of nervous breakdown
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/february-heat-waves_us_58afbb53e4b0780bac2808f7
freaky february heat waves trigger more chills over climate change
0
https://www.theonion.com/family-kind-of-concerned-at-how-fast-dad-ate-father-s-d-1819575125
family kind of concerned at how fast dad ate father's day gift
1
https://politics.theonion.com/fda-recommends-the-blue-marlin-1819567609
fda recommends the blue marlin
1
https://politics.theonion.com/biden-unleashes-torrent-of-vomit-on-debate-stage-1819574028
biden unleashes torrent of vomit on debate stage
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-so-called-uptick-in-hate-is-fundamentally-american_us_59318b5ce4b0c242ca237c29
the so-called 'uptick in hate' is fundamentally american
0
https://politics.theonion.com/obama-throws-small-business-owner-into-seat-tells-him-1819576039
obama throws small business owner into seat, tells him to just smile and keep his fucking mouth shut
1
https://www.theonion.com/area-man-foolishly-entrusted-with-genetic-code-1819571413
area man foolishly entrusted with genetic code
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-opioid-emergency_us_59e52816e4b02a215b326f29
trump officially declares opioid crisis an emergency 2 months after saying he would
0
https://www.theonion.com/nation-s-baby-boomers-hold-press-conference-to-announce-1825562680
nation's baby boomers hold press conference to announce they all have diseases now
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jon-stewart-dancing-drake_us_5603facce4b00310edfa22d7
jon stewart dancing to drake is the one video you need to see today
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ukraine-prime-minister_us_570a5a6ce4b0885fb50d55e6
ukraine's prime minister yatseniuk resigns
0
https://politics.theonion.com/what-about-that-whole-birth-certificate-thing-romney-s-1819573940
'what about that whole birth certificate thing?' romney suggests to staff
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/nuclear-threat-still-very-real-says-muhammad-ali-1819563924
nuclear threat still 'very real,' says muhammad ali
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/josh-hutcherson-hints-at-more-hunger-games-movies_us_559febeee4b096729155fbbc
josh hutcherson hints at more 'hunger games' movies
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-who-said-yes-to-life-found-with-mountain-bike-at-bo-1819573183
man who said 'yes' to life found with mountain bike at bottom of gorge
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/david-lee-roth-might-as-well-jump-1819586632
david lee roth might as well jump
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/modern-family-appears-at-9-p-m-just-as-prophesied-in-t-1819571664
'modern family' appears at 9 p.m. just as prophesied in 'tv guide'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-best-teams-in-sports-_n_5588612.html
the best teams in sports... 5 years from now
0
https://www.theonion.com/area-woman-not-about-to-miss-ally-mcbeal-for-that-1819565342
area woman not about to miss ally mcbeal for that
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-us-helped-create-a-oscar-romero_b_6612394.html
the us helped create a christian martyr in oscar romero
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/where-not-to-cut-corners-_b_6579802.html
10 corners you should never cut when planning a wedding
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/flower-power----how-your_b_6158588.html
flower power -- how your child can blossom fully
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/van-high-school-texas_us_57323712e4b016f3789757a0
seniors decked out in graduation gear walk halls to inspire younger students
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/now-we-are-all-journalists_us_58ab234de4b0fa149f9ac926
in trump's america, we must all become journalists
0
https://www.theonion.com/quaker-oats-canister-relabeled-drugs-for-grade-school-p-1819571061
quaker oats canister relabeled 'drugs' for grade school play
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mobile-payment-subway-climate-change_us_5660aae9e4b079b2818dd305
how using your phone to pay for the subway can help fight climate change
0
https://www.theonion.com/i-t-guy-has-long-dark-night-of-self-doubt-1819568152
i.t. guy has long dark night of self-doubt
1
https://local.theonion.com/woman-pieces-together-timeline-of-boyfriend-s-past-rela-1819579283
woman pieces together timeline of boyfriend's past relationships like detective tracking zodiac killer
1
https://local.theonion.com/grandma-defiantly-taking-scone-recipe-to-grave-1825338510
grandma defiantly taking scone recipe to grave
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-experiencing-first-real-moment-of-peace-in-years-re-1819575640
man experiencing first real moment of peace in years resuscitated
1
https://www.theonion.com/4-year-olds-idea-of-barbie-ken-marriage-involves-lots-1819588616
4-year-old's idea of barbie, ken marriage involves lots of head collisions
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dianne-feinstein-charles-grassley_n_6465232.html
senators rip obama's 'flexible' interpretation of international drug controls
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tennis-player-gabriella-taylor-possibly-poisoned-at-wimbledon_us_57ac37f7e4b0db3be07d41a2
tennis player gabriella taylor possibly poisoned at wimbledon
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scott-walker-obama-christ_n_6728186.html
scott walker says he doesn't know if obama is a christian
0
https://sports.theonion.com/oddsmakers-say-oakland-raiders-a-long-shot-to-finish-se-1819575449
oddsmakers say oakland raiders a long shot to finish season
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-alienation-of-americas-best-doctors_us_582899a4e4b0852d9ec218ef
the alienation of america's best doctors
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-progressive-vision-for-the-fbi_us_591b3c5ee4b03e1c81b0095d
a progressive vision for the fbi
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-patriotic-neighbor_us_57d8ccf4e4b0d93d17700d9b
a patriotic neighbor
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pride-in-mental-health-crisis-intervention-an-interview_us_5949d93de4b0c24d29f4788b
pride in mental health: an interview with the trevor project and crisis text line
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kris-jenner-kanye-west_us_5aec112ee4b0ab5c3d63dba1
kris jenner has her say on son-in-law kanye west's 'good intentions'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/candide-thovex-dry-ski-run-audi_us_5669e610e4b080eddf579051
skier's sick run on dry terrain proves snow is for suckers
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-eat-healthy-while-traveling_us_57d91e29e4b0d93d17700e0d
how to eat healthy while traveling
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/soda-taxes-create-complicated-rules_us_59a81641e4b00ed1aec9a603
soda taxes create complicated rules
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/your-hair-has-super-strength_us_58921a65e4b0c90eff017a7f
fyi, the hair on your head can hold up to the weight of 2 elephants
0
https://www.theonion.com/biggest-loser-in-high-school-adjusting-to-being-ordinar-1819569997
biggest loser in high school adjusting to being ordinary loser in college
1
https://www.theonion.com/pregame-foolishly-squandered-on-actually-planning-out-e-1819577431
pregame foolishly squandered on actually planning out evening
1
https://politics.theonion.com/gop-throws-all-financial-support-behind-one-candidate-1819568765
gop throws all financial support behind one candidate
1
https://politics.theonion.com/shy-ex-citigroup-executive-struggling-to-fit-in-with-po-1819579680
shy ex-citigroup executive struggling to fit in with popular clique of ex–goldman sachs executives at white house
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/facebook-private-gun-sales_us_56abef66e4b00b033aaf3a29
facebook to block private gun sales
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/randy-jackson-wife-divorce_n_5890608.html
randy and erika jackson split after 18 years of marriage
0
https://politics.theonion.com/biden-hands-out-loose-gt-cola-can-to-unexpected-trick-o-1820024931
biden hands out loose gt cola can to unexpected trick-or-treater
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-social-issues-hijacked-conservatism_us_59ebeb38e4b02c6e3c609b9f
how social issues hijacked conservatism
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/netanyahu-iran-deal_us_55aba71fe4b065dfe89e9357
netanyahu: iran leader's speech shows dangers of nuclear deal
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/heres-the-pwc-employee-responsible-for-the-best-picture-mishap_us_58b497d2e4b060480e0b0df1
pwc confirms partner responsible for best picture mishap
0
https://local.theonion.com/girl-has-just-enough-physical-flaws-to-maybe-take-man-s-1819571848
girl has just enough physical flaws to maybe take man seriously
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rudy-espinoza-oregon-man-who-beheaded-moms-cat-learns-his-fate_us_567337f8e4b014efe0d4d19e
oregon man who beheaded mom's cat learns his fate
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/enrique-iglesias-anna-kournikova-twins-first-photos_us_5a5e4bf6e4b0c59bc1f95b61
enrique iglesias and anna kournikova share first photos of newborn twins
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-trevor-noah_us_57f342b9e4b01b16aafebc7d
trevor noah: donald trump selflessly embodies america's worst traits
0
https://www.theonion.com/troubling-report-finds-dreamily-sliding-down-back-of-do-1819577644
troubling report finds dreamily sliding down back of door after kissing date on porch plummets 78%
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/airport-screening-flights_us_57470d7ce4b0dacf7ad41623
airport screening made 70,000 miss american airlines flights this year
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.politico.com/story/2015/10/inside-bidens-final-deliberations-215043#ixzz3pG8aF9zr
inside biden's final deliberations
0
https://www.theonion.com/syrians-lives-are-worthless-obama-tells-daughters-befo-1819574770
'syrians' lives are worthless,' obama tells daughters before kissing them goodnight
1
https://www.theonion.com/carbon-monoxide-detector-with-snooze-button-recalled-1819588298
carbon-monoxide detector with snooze button recalled
1
https://local.theonion.com/twitch-streamer-sets-new-record-for-longest-stream-lyin-1821186947
twitch streamer sets new record for longest stream lying dead on camera
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/diy-pet-halloween-costumes-pinterest_us_55e46ef7e4b0aec9f353d3e8
pet halloween costumes are the spooky, yet cute trend of 2015
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/flaming-lips-origin_us_5683e940e4b0b958f65ad759
that flaming lips origin story is faker than you thought
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sessions-flynn-trump-investigation-russia_us_58a3ac76e4b03df370db99e1
trump's russia scandal means sessions and his justice department now face a choice
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/from-an-adopted-daughter-what-my-moms-taught-me-about-parenting_b_5272623.html
from an adopted daughter, what my moms taught me about parenting
0
https://politics.theonion.com/increased-negative-campaigning-reveals-previously-hidde-1819574119
increased negative campaigning reveals previously hidden ugly side of politics
1
https://www.theonion.com/who-pushes-for-more-ouchless-adhesive-funding-1819566288
who pushes for more 'ouchless' adhesive funding
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/10-year-old-shocked-woman-from-guinness-book-who-can-po-1819571336
10-year-old shocked woman from 'guinness book' who can pop her eyes out not a millionaire
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mass-survey-democrats-republicans_us_56434840e4b045bf3ded15b5
democrats and republicans agree more than you'd think about kim davis and abortion rights
0
https://local.theonion.com/elderly-man-who-s-outlived-wife-by-8-years-must-not-hav-1819578772
elderly man who's outlived wife by 8 years must not have loved her very much
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hilary-duff-frenchie-dog-dies_us_569697b4e4b0b4eb759cd358
hilary duff's heartbreaking instagram shows how hard it is to lose a pet
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/david-geist-opens-up-about-events-that-brought-him-closer-to-the-flame_b_7523112.html
david geist opens up about events that brought him closer to the 'flame'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-great-seafood-treats-_b_5747230.html
the great seafood treats of late summer, part ii: the fish fry
0
https://www.theonion.com/target-of-future-drone-attack-urges-american-interventi-1819575529
target of future drone attack urges american intervention in syria
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/saturn-hexagon-color-change_us_5810aec5e4b001e247df64a5
images show that saturn's north polar region has changed color
0
https://local.theonion.com/genetics-emphatically-deny-playing-any-part-in-area-man-1819577040
genetics emphatically deny playing any part in area man's body
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-naked-truth_1_b_5542113.html
the naked truth
0
https://www.theonion.com/tense-party-enters-third-hour-of-unplayed-acoustic-guit-1819576977
tense party enters third hour of unplayed acoustic guitar leaning against wall
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/heroin-addicted-sisters-recovery_n_6158980.html
how three heroin-addicted sisters are getting sober
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nyc-climate-march_us_5904de19e4b02655f83ddd42
in nyc, birthplace of climate march, a reminder of who suffers most from pollution
0
https://politics.theonion.com/paul-ryan-discovers-half-finished-escape-tunnel-leading-1819578397
paul ryan discovers half-finished escape tunnel leading out of speaker's office
1
https://local.theonion.com/salmon-just-knows-it-going-to-jump-right-into-grizzly-b-1819591835
salmon just knows it going to jump right into grizzly bear's mouth
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mark-twain-advice_b_7675092.html
mark twain gave good advice about the dangers of good advice
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-if-you-couldnt-protect-your-children_us_58ee2975e4b0ea028d568e82
what if you couldn't protect your children?
0
https://local.theonion.com/just-a-stay-in-bed-kind-of-day-fire-department-declare-1819566071
just a stay-in-bed kind of day, fire department declares
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sushi-donuts_us_5761c30fe4b0df4d586f1f1b
sushi donuts are here, so prepare yourselves
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/suprise-surprise-donald-trumps-supporters-are-trying-to-rig-the-election_us_5814c685e4b064e1b4b2d356
surprise, surprise, donald trump's supporters are trying to 'rig' the election
0
https://www.theonion.com/childrens-hospital-charity-dependent-on-teri-hatchers-k-1819588088
children's hospital charity dependent on teri hatcher's knowledge of british parliament
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-its-time-to-stop-casually-calling-people-schizophrenic_us_59e7aa9ae4b0432b8c11ec2d
why it's time to stop casually calling people 'schizophrenic' and 'bipolar'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/simon-helberg-refugees-welcome-sag-awards_us_588e8bb8e4b08a14f7e6c7d5
simon helberg arrives at screen actors guild awards with 'refugees welcome' sign
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cory-booker-impeachment_us_592ad637e4b0065b20b709f0
cory booker pumps brakes on trump impeachment talk
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/libya-migrants-die_us_58ac262be4b07028b703a6c7
bodies of 74 migrants wash up on libyan beach
0
https://local.theonion.com/flower-freaking-out-after-realizing-there-s-a-bee-on-it-1825290678
flower freaking out after realizing there's a bee on it
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chris-bosh-photobomb-2k16_us_56017692e4b00310edf899ba
only nba nerds will catch the joke in this nba 2k16 trailer
0
https://www.theonion.com/gun-used-to-kill-man-in-city-1819586131
gun used to kill man in city
1