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https://local.theonion.com/liberal-arts-graduate-realizes-he-s-already-forgotten-9-1819577009
liberal arts graduate realizes he's already forgotten 90% of human condition
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/service-members-trump-sanders_us_56e75f3ce4b0860f99da2b6c
military service members prefer 2 presidential candidates who question war
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nina-solomons-love-book_b_6841318.html
nina solomon's love book
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/poop-bags-plastic-bag-bans_n_5333340.html
it's been a really great year for poop bags
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-steve-bannon_us_58ee9aaae4b0b9e984891ac5
trump again downplays steve bannon's white house role
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pete-buttigieg-democrats-future_us_58c0257fe4b0d1078ca2df3a
pete buttigieg is the future of the democratic party. but what kind of future?
0
https://local.theonion.com/tenants-feel-guilty-asking-elderly-maintenance-man-to-f-1819565946
tenants feel guilty asking elderly maintenance man to fix anything
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/are-introverts-or-extroverts-happier_us_589f87cbe4b0cd37efcfe950
are introverts or extroverts happier?
0
https://local.theonion.com/health-scare-prompts-man-to-start-overeating-healthier-1819579758
health scare prompts man to start overeating healthier
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/republicans-clinton-emails_us_581f9e77e4b0d9ce6fbcc2e6
latest fbi news doesn't stop republicans from attacking clinton on emails
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/spouse-hostility-may-worsen-chronic-low-back-pain_us_599b559ce4b04c532f43c6a9
spouse criticism may worsen chronic low back pain
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gianforte-lafargeholcim-isis_us_591c710be4b0ed14cddb53fa
montana gop candidate owns stake in company accused of paying off isis
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stonerturneddoctor-sees-d_b_5671819.html
stoner-turned-doctor sees dark side of pot
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dick-cheney-torture_n_6322872.html
dick cheney would torture again
0
https://politics.theonion.com/hannity-claims-relationship-with-cohen-never-went-past-1825332973
hannity claims relationship with cohen never went past payment for legal advice, defense strategy in criminal cases
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-davis-black-police_us_5adf4328e4b061c0bfa22ef8
my truth about being a black man and a black cop
0
https://www.theonion.com/international-criminal-court-announces-new-3-strikes-ge-1819572516
international criminal court announces new '3 strikes' genocide policy
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/paramount-pictures-proudly-shelves-latest-film-1819564844
paramount pictures proudly shelves latest film
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/christina-kirchner-werewo_n_6392688.html
argentina president's bizarre werewolf mishap
0
https://politics.theonion.com/orrin-hatch-mistakenly-left-dangling-in-bondage-fetish-1819565385
orrin hatch mistakenly left dangling in bondage-fetish dungeon
1
https://politics.theonion.com/overcrowded-gop-field-forces-iowa-to-construct-massive-1819578044
overcrowded gop field forces iowa to construct massive town hall stadium
1
https://www.theonion.com/nasa-issues-formal-apology-for-1969-genocide-of-moon-na-1822370108
nasa issues formal apology for 1969 genocide of moon natives
1
https://politics.theonion.com/mike-pence-training-for-vice-presidential-debate-by-hit-1819579304
mike pence training for vice presidential debate by hitting punching bag with climate change study taped on front
1
https://www.theonion.com/sole-remaining-lung-filled-with-rich-satisfying-flavor-1819567943
sole remaining lung filled with rich, satisfying flavor
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-pretty-sure-he-slept-1819573293
man pretty sure he slept
1
https://www.theonion.com/slowly-rotating-pie-a-metaphor-for-truckers-failing-mar-1819587792
slowly rotating pie a metaphor for trucker's failing marriage
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rare-rossini-and-hot-jazz_b_11031370.html
rare rossini and hot jazz at caramoor
0
https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1820163660
'no way to prevent this,' says only nation where this regularly happens
1
https://www.theonion.com/civilian-casualty-flattered-to-have-been-mistaken-for-h-1819576772
civilian casualty flattered to have been mistaken for hamas leader
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/issa-rae-alton-sterling-scholarship_us_577d5dd5e4b0344d514da6e6
issa rae starts scholarship fund for alton sterling's children
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whats-better-fresh-or-frozen-turkey_us_59dfb276e4b03a7be57f232f
what's better, fresh or frozen turkey?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/comedians-highlight-the-crazy-things-women-go-through-to-get-an-abortion_us_57867a18e4b03fc3ee4ee0ad
comedians highlight the crazy things women go through to get an abortion
0
https://www.theonion.com/scientists-politely-remind-world-that-clean-energy-tech-1819576507
scientists politely remind world that clean energy technology ready to go whenever
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-40-percent-of-american-high-school-students-min-1819567904
report: 40 percent of american high-school students mind-reading at sixth-grade level
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/seattle-bus-crash_us_56044741e4b0fde8b0d1b60c
4 dead, 12 critically injured in seattle bus crash
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/israel-hamas-war-crimes_b_5633038.html
both israel and hamas have a responsibility to protect civilians
0
https://www.theonion.com/spy-drone-struggling-to-assimilate-back-into-civilian-l-1819589946
spy drone struggling to assimilate back into civilian life
1
https://www.theonion.com/jogger-thinks-he-looks-great-1819588270
jogger thinks he looks great
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/four-american-prisoners-released-by-iran-state-news-reporting_us_569a5361e4b0778f46f98651
iran releases 4 american prisoners after months of top-secret negotiations
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bacon-sushi-consider-this-a-gift-from-the-pork-lords_n_7270058.html
attention carnivores: meat 'sushi' wrapped in bacon can be yours
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-96-of-nations-smut-consumed-by-filthiest-1-1819574369
report: 96% of nation's smut consumed by filthiest 1%
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/beauty-legend-bobbi-brown-on-why-you-should-probably_us_591f23e4e4b07617ae4cbb87
beauty legend bobbi brown on why you should probably throw away your sunblock and skip the botox
0
https://local.theonion.com/new-leather-bound-notebook-to-really-unleash-area-woman-1819576030
new leather-bound notebook to really unleash area woman's creativity
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/meningitis-madaya-syria_us_57ced3f9e4b078581f13fcc9
this syrian family saved their critically ill son, but now they're trapped with the same illness
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/some-people-are-pissed-off-about-the-casting-of-a-black-hermoine-granger_us_5677fbebe4b014efe0d5ed10
some people are pissed off about the casting of a black hermione granger
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kristen-wiig-bill-hader-snl-monologue_n_5971612.html
kristen wiig crashes bill hader's 'snl' monologue
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-boehner-death-threat_n_6466540.html
bartender accused of plotting to poison john boehner
0
https://www.theonion.com/you-can-tell-area-bank-used-to-be-a-pizza-hut-1819586837
you can tell area bank used to be a pizza hut
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/turkey-erdogan-hitler_us_56868bc6e4b06fa688826be0
turkey's president calls hitler's germany example of effective government
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/francis-ford-coppola-admits-wedding-scene-in-the-godfa-1819580186
francis ford coppola admits wedding scene in 'the godfather' needed more lasagna
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stop-fighting-for-overhea_b_7261764.html
stop fighting for overhead bin space already
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/saltiest-restaurant-meals_n_5552688.html
these 10 meals reveal one thing fast food restaurants still get wrong
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kevin-hart-and-james-cordens-rap-battle_us_5762963be4b0df4d586f50fe
watch kevin hart drop the mic on james corden
0
https://local.theonion.com/woman-s-primal-instincts-activate-to-protect-nearly-fin-1819579761
woman's primal instincts activate to protect nearly finished glass of wine from approaching server
1
https://www.theonion.com/study-human-hearing-most-acute-when-listening-to-argui-1819576841
study: human hearing most acute when listening to arguing parents from top of stairs
1
https://www.theonion.com/google-unveils-new-larry-page-driven-car-1819579650
google unveils new larry page–driven car
1
https://www.theonion.com/royal-baby-already-making-new-friends-1819575525
royal baby already making new friends
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/childhood-brain-injury-tied-to-adult-anxiety-depression_us_5939b937e4b006105480f657
childhood brain injury tied to adult anxiety, depression
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-neighbor-no-please-thank-you_us_568290bbe4b0b958f65a5cd7
donald trump voted least desirable neighbor of the year
0
https://www.theonion.com/nasa-announces-plans-to-place-giant-pair-of-shades-on-s-1825413851
nasa announces plans to place giant pair of shades on sun
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/beyonce-met-the-final-five-and-all-of-our-dreams-came-true_us_57c3a606e4b026734450a6b7
beyoncé met the final five and all of our dreams came true
0
https://www.theonion.com/bathroom-too-disgusting-to-shit-in-1819567394
bathroom too disgusting to shit in
1
https://local.theonion.com/offended-customers-huffy-walkout-goes-unnoticed-1819567773
offended customer's huffy walkout goes unnoticed
1
https://politics.theonion.com/staffers-frantically-trying-to-restore-chaos-to-white-h-1820446482
staffers frantically trying to restore chaos to white house before trump returns from asia trip
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eco-friendly-holidays_us_5a278f6ee4b0c2117626b8da
how to have an eco-friendly christmas
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pope-admits-serious-mistakes-chilean-abuse-scandal_us_5ace716ae4b0701783aaf630
pope admits he made 'serious errors' in handling chile sex abuse allegations
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-carpet-cleaner-safe-for-pets-that-were-meant-to-go-1819577073
new carpet cleaner safe for pets that were meant to go on living
1
https://www.theonion.com/oklahoma-leaders-claim-teachers-strike-betrays-values-1824293140
oklahoma leaders claim teachers' strike betrays values of nation's 1914 founding by abraham lincoln and orville redenbacher
1
https://local.theonion.com/favorite-stick-brought-inside-1819571051
favorite stick brought inside
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/little-leage-world-series-female-pitcher-mone-davis_n_5666836.html
meet the girl reshaping little league, one 70 mph fastball at a time
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/solicitors-general-merrick-garland-letter_us_572ce51ee4b016f37895b017
if these guys don't convince you judge garland is 'superbly qualified,' no one will
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/backing-devos-repeal-of-obama-rules-for-profit-colleges_us_5a54f3eee4b0f9b24bf31afb
backing devos repeal of obama rules, for-profit colleges vilify students
0
https://www.theonion.com/search-for-kick-ass-shelves-continues-1819569721
search for 'kick-ass shelves' continues
1
https://politics.theonion.com/new-texas-legislation-would-require-whiskey-bottles-to-1819570343
new texas legislation would require whiskey bottles to be shot out of air immediately after being emptied
1
https://local.theonion.com/weird-man-begins-every-morning-by-dousing-his-naked-bod-1819575749
weird man begins every morning by dousing his naked body in water
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/surge-sold-out_n_5855150.html
surge soda again sells out on amazon
0
https://www.theonion.com/daniel-tosh-chuckles-through-own-violent-rape-1819573604
daniel tosh chuckles through own violent rape
1
https://local.theonion.com/well-neighbors-just-got-a-pit-bull-1819575434
well, neighbors just got a pit bull
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/4-salads-that-will-make-y_b_6823916.html
4 salads that will make you crave kale
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tesla-spacex-merger_us_57a35566e4b04414d1f3bcd6
the one company elon musk wants to keep independent
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-epidemic-of-gay-loneliness_us_58b9d3fde4b05cf0f4008d49
the epidemic of gay loneliness
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/report-majority-of-americans-know-which-youtube-clip-t-1819577253
report: majority of americans know which youtube clip they'll post following dustin hoffman's death
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/training-tomorrows-leader_b_6170570.html
training tomorrow's leaders in higher education
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-ingersoll-jerusalem-embassy-end-times_us_5afae504e4b09a94524c312c
trump's jerusalem embassy ceremony was one big dog whistle
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ukraine-missile-drill-will-avoid-crimea_us_584048abe4b017f37fe302e1
ukraine says missile tests will avoid crimea, mollifying russia
0
https://politics.theonion.com/republican-party-average-working-joe-bid-one-another-a-1819570333
republican party, average working joe bid one another adieu until 2012
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/measles-vaccine-babies_us_59d3ee1fe4b0218923e5e738
when adults choose not to vaccinate against measles, babies pay the price
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jennifer-aniston-justin-theroux-valentines-day_us_56c22345e4b0c3c5505221b1
jennifer aniston and justin theroux spend valentine's day in paris
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/i-fell-in-love-carrying-another-mans-child_b_6377218.html
i fell in love carrying another man's child
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/report-kanye-west-bill-gates-tom-hanks-all-currently-1819575875
report: kanye west, bill gates, tom hanks all currently reading, enjoying this article
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obama-kenya-lgbt-rights_us_55b3a478e4b0224d88327486
obama speaks out for lgbt rights in kenya
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jay-z-kalief-browders-story-save-a-lot-of-lives_us_588baffae4b0b065cbbbe1ca
jay z hopes kalief browder's story will 'save a lot of lives'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-death-of-email_b_6454170.html
the death of email
0
https://www.theonion.com/north-dakota-drinks-itself-to-sleep-again-1819566044
north dakota drinks itself to sleep again
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/podcast-students-say-we-d_b_9861902.html
podcast: students say 'we don't want to become robots'
0
https://local.theonion.com/bassist-has-little-riff-ready-to-go-in-case-frontman-go-1819580356
bassist has little riff ready to go in case frontman goes around introducing everyone
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reese-witherspoon-40th-birthday_us_56eee0a7e4b03a640a6ac4d9
reese witherspoon's star-studded birthday bash is giving us major fomo
0
https://politics.theonion.com/gore-begins-training-for-2004-election-in-remote-mounta-1819566495
gore begins training for 2004 election in remote mountain cabin
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hatchet-man-arrest-triggers-search-for-link-to-murder-of-teen-hikers_us_59cd579de4b06791bb0f6e90
'hatchet man' suspect could have ties to murder of teen hikers, police say
0
https://politics.theonion.com/jeff-sessions-spits-in-face-of-fbi-interrogator-trying-1819579671
jeff sessions spits in face of fbi interrogator trying to get him to turn on trump
1