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https://www.theonion.com/study-reveals-lobsters-feel-pain-and-get-off-on-it-like-1822237552
study reveals lobsters feel pain and get off on it like the kinky little perverts they are
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/alice-bowman-interview/
meet the woman who flew us to pluto
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-hampshire-battleground-polls_us_57b08c50e4b007c36e4f1796
new hampshire looking increasingly out of reach for donald trump
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/learning-from-failure_b_6413320.html
learning from failure
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/the-last-jedi-footage-reveals-chewbacca-balding-since-1821330213
'the last jedi' footage reveals chewbacca balding since 'the force awakens'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-post-election-prescription-environmentalism-without_us_58324be5e4b0eaa5f14d4760
a post-election prescription: environmentalism without borders
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/crime-rates-donald-trump_us_57a8aa11e4b056bad2164226
most americans (incorrectly) believe crime is up. that's great news for donald trump.
0
https://www.theonion.com/letter-from-employer-thankfully-omits-balls-copying-inc-1819565868
letter from employer thankfully omits balls-copying incident
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hayley-kiyoko-queer-pop-star-expectations_us_5abb8684e4b06409775bb540
hayley kiyoko is the unapologetically queer pop star we've been waiting for
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-not-you-its-me-are-yo_b_7138134.html
it's not you, it's me: are your behaviors holding you back?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ray-lamontagne-video-premiere-hey-no-pressure_us_56cb774ce4b0928f5a6ccc0f
ray lamontagne wants you to listen to his new album on vinyl
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/video-breaks-down-how-whiteness-as-a-construct-shaped-the-election_us_5859916be4b0de3a08f32d87
video breaks down how 'whiteness' as a construct shaped the election
0
https://www.theonion.com/islamophobe-disappointed-manhunt-over-before-he-even-ha-1819579268
islamophobe disappointed manhunt over before he even had chance to indiscriminately vilify all muslims
1
https://www.theonion.com/verizon-introduces-new-charge-you-at-whim-plan-1819568624
verizon introduces new charge-you-at-whim plan
1
https://www.theonion.com/self-helped-woman-wont-stop-at-just-self-1819586684
self-helped woman won't stop at just self
1
https://local.theonion.com/long-wait-for-big-toenail-to-fall-off-nearly-over-1819590991
long wait for big toenail to fall off nearly over
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/never-to-be-forgotten-a-year_b_7061838.html
never to be forgotten - a year on from chibok
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-just-tweeted-the-most-evergreen-response-to-cbo-score_us_5925f680e4b062f96a33a961
bernie sanders just tweeted the most evergreen response to cbo score
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-organization-is-helping-women-of-color-thrive-in-the-communications-field_us_5734a5b9e4b077d4d6f2464a
this organization is helping women of color thrive in the communications field
0
https://www.theonion.com/defiant-mitch-mcconnell-holds-merrick-garland-s-severed-1819578720
defiant mitch mcconnell holds merrick garland's severed head aloft in front of capitol building
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/leadership-strong-and-wro_b_5423581.html
leadership: 'strong and wrong' over 'weak and right?'
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/hungover-guillermo-del-toro-panics-after-realizing-he-p-1823523333
hungover guillermo del toro panics after realizing he promised to write new movie for everyone at oscars after-party
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trapped-in-a-cycle-of-harassment-as-a-chronically_us_5a1ecd72e4b00579aa29f91c
trapped in a cycle of harassment as a chronically ill person
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/celebration-and-destruction_b_7002758.html
celebration and destruction
0
https://www.theonion.com/seaworld-employees-place-orcas-in-plastic-bags-of-water-1819592411
seaworld employees place orcas in plastic bags of water while cleaning tanks
1
https://www.theonion.com/report-only-2-of-internet-worth-sitting-through-15-se-1819577337
report: only 2% of internet worth sitting through 15-second ad
1
https://www.theonion.com/redwood-tree-completes-300-year-plan-to-lean-slightly-t-1819589692
redwood tree completes 300-year plan to lean slightly to left
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/ncis-to-cease-print-edition-1819575832
'ncis' to cease print edition
1
https://politics.theonion.com/trump-dismisses-accusers-as-women-1821226091
trump dismisses accusers as women
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-christian-sideshow-in-acts-of-terror_us_59bd4354e4b02c642e4a16f4
the christian sideshow in acts of terror
0
https://www.theonion.com/get-clarity-on-what-the-future-holds-so-you-can-go-back-1819577109
get clarity on what the future holds so you can go back to worrying about costume ideas.
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-marine-le-pen_us_58fa6448e4b06b9cb916c972
trump says terror attack will 'probably help' marine le pen in french elections
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eyelash-mites-are-a-thing_us_58a60232e4b045cd34bfbfbb
just a heads up, your eyelashes are probably crawling with mites
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/from-student-to-teacher-t_b_6449840.html
from student to teacher: the rise of singapore education
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/arizona-isis-texas-attack_us_56eb5267e4b03a640a6a1eb1
abdul malik abdul kareem guilty of conspiring to support isis in texas attack
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-invisible-generation_b_6938344.html
the invisible generation
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-rick-saccone-pa-18_us_5aa905c5e4b018e2f1c342a1
trump claims credit for shock dem win in pennsylvania
0
https://local.theonion.com/girlfriend-acting-all-clingy-after-getting-pregnant-1819567481
girlfriend acting all clingy after getting pregnant
1
https://local.theonion.com/report-dad-wants-to-show-you-where-fuse-box-is-1819577825
report: dad wants to show you where fuse box is
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-checks-to-make-sure-no-one-home-before-recording-so-1819579058
man checks to make sure no one home before recording song into laptop
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-a-high-fat-diet-may-be-screwing-with-your-brain_us_55a417d7e4b0ecec71bcb352
how a high-fat diet may be screwing with your brain
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/will-smith-president-donald-trump_us_566f076ee4b011b83a6bfdf9
will smith says trump may force him to run for president
0
https://local.theonion.com/jim-morrison-foundation-awards-50-000-grant-to-little-1819572592
jim morrison foundation awards $50,000 grant to little shit who thinks he's a poet
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-freelancers-growing-o_b_5725318.html
for freelancers, growing opportunity and risk
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/exercise-may-be-the-key-to-battling-alzheimers-studies-find_us_55b26540e4b0224d88320730
exercise may be the key to battling alzheimer's, studies find
0
https://www.theonion.com/israel-palestinians-given-ample-time-to-evacuate-to-ne-1819576722
israel: palestinians given ample time to evacuate to nearby bombing sites
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pet-care-owner-kicks-dog_n_7461430.html
watch a self-described 'despicable' pet-care company owner kick dog in elevator
0
https://www.theonion.com/fbi-warns-of-american-dream-scam-1822834360
fbi warns of 'american dream' scam
1
https://politics.theonion.com/cia-director-quietly-buys-nuclear-attack-insurance-1819568909
cia director quietly buys nuclear-attack insurance
1
https://www.theonion.com/college-unveils-new-media-center-every-month-1819575798
college unveils new media center every month
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/patrick-leahy-scott-pruitt-epa_us_5afc81d4e4b06a3fb50d14f0
democratic lawmaker gives scott pruitt brutal reality check during senate hearing
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-lewis-trump-not-legitimate_us_58792bfee4b0b3c7a7b1303a
rep. john lewis: trump is not a 'legitimate president'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-voter-fraud-immigrants_us_58057e5ee4b0180a36e60184
trump now claims 'illegal immigrants' are behind voter fraud
0
https://local.theonion.com/doctor-just-uses-same-ultrasound-picture-for-every-baby-1819577404
doctor just uses same ultrasound picture for every baby
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-weather-channel-sitcom-about-three-guys-three-girl-1819569978
new weather channel sitcom about three guys, three girls, one storm system
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/london-road-tom-hardy-clip_us_57d0163ae4b0a48094a6ae2d
watch tom hardy sing (yes, sing) about a serial killer in this 'london road' scene
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/syrian-refugee-resettlement_us_57c471b6e4b0664f13c9b54c
obama administration hits goal of welcoming 10,000 syrian refugees
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whats-leaving-netflix-may-2016_us_571ba523e4b0d0042da96f96
what's leaving netflix in may 2016?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rouhani-and-reformers-wins-big-in-first-irans-post-nuclear-deal-election_us_56d2e76ce4b0bf0dab326d46
rouhani and reformers wins big in first iran's post-nuclear deal election
0
https://www.theonion.com/hundreds-of-people-who-will-die-before-christmas-really-1819574310
hundreds of people who will die before christmas really excited for holiday season
1
https://www.theonion.com/fbi-you-know-you-re-desperate-when-you-re-asking-the-a-1819574834
fbi: 'you know you're desperate when you're asking the american people for help'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whats-in-a-name_13_b_5808602.html
what's in a name?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-writers-workbench-sol_b_7266794.html
the writers workbench: solar chargers
0
https://politics.theonion.com/entire-republican-national-convention-stunned-as-ann-ro-1819573819
entire republican national convention stunned as ann romney asks for divorce
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-pulling-on-loose-hangnail-slowly-unravels-skin-from-1819592847
man pulling on loose hangnail slowly unravels skin from entire body
1
https://local.theonion.com/kids-getting-a-little-old-to-still-believe-in-innate-ch-1821538881
kids getting a little old to still believe in innate charitable goodness of humans
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/fiona-apple-song-reminds-girl-to-be-depressed-1819568510
fiona apple song reminds girl to be depressed
1
https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-fuck-this-president-shit-1819564461
clinton: 'fuck this president shit'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/labor-day-2015-stand-toge_b_8096222.html
labor day 2015: stand together and fight back
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.ibtimes.com/jeb-bush-slams-lobbyists-despite-his-close-relationship-them-2015899
jeb bush slams lobbyists despite his close relationship with them
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-happened-and-moving-on-from-the-2016-us-election_us_59c5af1ee4b0b7022a646a9a
'what happened' and moving on from the 2016 election
0
https://politics.theonion.com/pregnant-women-asked-to-leave-convention-hall-during-te-1819579046
pregnant women asked to leave convention hall during ted cruz speech for safety of developing fetuses
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teen-does-more-pullups-in-a-day-than-youll-do-in-a-lifetime_us_573dd21de4b0646cbeec3fc2
teen does more pullups in a day than you'll do in a lifetime
0
https://www.theonion.com/end-of-last-meals-for-death-row-inmates-could-decimate-1819573030
end of last meals for death row inmates could decimate texas restaurant industry
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/dateline-nbc-report-inspired-by-actual-events-1819586428
dateline nbc report inspired by actual events
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obamas-new-cuba-policy-corrects-a-five-decade-failure_b_6359982.html
obama's new cuba policy corrects a five-decade failure
0
https://local.theonion.com/mom-hasnt-ordered-favorite-pizza-topping-in-over-a-deca-1819574732
mom hasn't ordered favorite pizza topping in over a decade
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-jackie-evancho_us_586e2001e4b0c56eb4b727d8
donald trump makes dubious claim about inauguration singer jackie evancho
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gay-pride-are-black-gay-men_b_5534749.html
gay pride: are black gay men proud?
0
https://local.theonion.com/gay-man-unaware-he-focus-of-thousands-of-prayers-1819577237
gay man unaware he focus of thousands of prayers
1
https://www.theonion.com/hampton-inn-concierge-has-long-working-relationship-wit-1819575997
hampton inn concierge has long working relationship with chili's hostess
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-books-to-get-you-out-of-your-literary-comfort-zone_b_7147810.html
5 books to get you out of your literary comfort zone
0
https://www.theonion.com/consumer-reports-rates-self-excellent-1819566311
consumer reports rates self 'excellent'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/earth-day-eating-bean-burgers-beats-measuring-cheeseburgers_b_7111852.html
earth day: eating bean burgers beats measuring cheeseburgers
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/smart-baby-monitor-lack-security-features_us_55e70e3fe4b0aec9f35547c2
hackers could tap into 'smart' baby monitors with ease: researchers
0
https://www.theonion.com/listerine-introduces-new-mouth-styling-gel-1819577885
listerine introduces new mouth styling gel
1
https://local.theonion.com/elderly-rite-aid-patron-stretching-out-conversation-abo-1819576918
elderly rite aid patron stretching out conversation about toothpaste to prolong human contact
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cross-border-international-zipline_n_5309332.html
get from spain to portugal in less than a minute
0
https://politics.theonion.com/report-u-s-must-reduce-dependence-on-foreign-turmoil-1819566276
report: u.s. must reduce dependence on foreign turmoil
1
https://politics.theonion.com/supreme-court-votes-7-2-to-legalize-all-worldly-vices-1826075730
supreme court votes 7-2 to legalize all worldly vices
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hungry-harvest-ugly-produce-app-emoji_us_580e720ce4b0a03911ee551f
these new emojis will make you see food differently
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/7-ways-to-cook-up-chemistry-through-conversation_b_5400343.html
7 ways to cook up chemistry through conversation
0
https://local.theonion.com/serial-killer-makes-impassioned-case-for-protecting-loc-1819577010
serial killer makes impassioned case for protecting local marsh
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/monster-truck-escapes-1819586160
monster truck escapes
1
https://local.theonion.com/report-it-too-soon-to-glance-back-at-attractive-person-1819576122
report: it too soon to glance back at attractive person
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-21-stupidest-things-e_n_5701161.html
the 21 stupidest things ever said by powerful people
0
https://local.theonion.com/friends-of-band-regret-going-to-show-1819587008
friends of band regret going to show
1
https://local.theonion.com/moviegoer-manages-to-sneak-candy-past-teenage-usher-ear-1819576388
moviegoer manages to sneak candy past teenage usher earning $7 an hour
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/huffpost-hill-trump-heads-to-louisiana-will-distribute-the-classiest-absolute-best-mres_us_57b76a18e4b0b51733a38189
huffpost hill - trump heads to louisiana, will distribute the classiest, absolute best mres
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-profit-probation-rico_n_6863162.html
for-profit company threatened to jail people for not paying traffic fines, lawsuit says
0