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https://local.theonion.com/ant-hoping-queen-will-notice-pretzel-crumb-he-got-her-1823164434
ant hoping queen will notice pretzel crumb he got her
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kellyonmymind-reflecting-on-kelly-gissendaner_b_6776318.html
#kellyonmymind: reflecting on kelly gissendaner
0
https://www.theonion.com/barbara-bush-passes-away-surrounded-by-loved-ones-jeb-1825355144
barbara bush passes away surrounded by loved ones, jeb
1
https://www.theonion.com/coast-guard-going-to-let-stranded-yacht-owner-sweat-it-1819576601
coast guard going to let stranded yacht owner sweat it out little more
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/queer-eye-star-bobby-berk-gave-me-a-desk-makeover-and-it-was-incredible_us_5b082625e4b0568a880af417
'queer eye' star bobby berk gave me a desk makeover -- and it was incredible
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/overcoming-adversity-a-st_b_5748528.html
overcoming adversity, a step at a time
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rachel-cox-shiny-ghosts_us_57312884e4b0bc9cb047d790
photographer documents her grandmother's illness while searching for something more
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.cnn.com/2016/05/05/politics/fbi-interviews-huma-abedin-clinton-aide/index.html
fbi interviews clinton aides including huma abedin as part of email probe
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/climate-change-threat-women-health-security_us_573f5850e4b045cc9a70ecf3
how climate change is fueling violence against women
0
https://www.theonion.com/jefferson-starship-memorial-reopens-on-national-mall-1819575582
jefferson starship memorial reopens on national mall
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/house-gop-majority-in-danger-cook-report_us_594b2451e4b0312cfb616cc4
analyst warns gop: house majority is in danger in 2018
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/smartphone-addiction_b_7688530.html
curing my blindness by turning off my smartphone
0
https://local.theonion.com/uncool-zookeeper-wont-let-anyone-ride-gorillas-1819569148
uncool zookeeper won't let anyone ride gorillas
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-a-comedian-mow-down_b_7701860.html
watch a comedian mow down every stupid gun rights argument you've ever heard
0
https://politics.theonion.com/no-one-else-but-you-invited-to-creepy-daves-debate-part-1819570268
no one else but you invited to creepy dave's debate party
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttps://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/the-end-of-shrink-it-or-pink-it-a-history-of-advertisers-missing-the-mark-with-women/2016/06/08/3bcb1832-28e9-11e6-ae4a-3cdd5fe74204_story.html?postshare=7431465490452007&tid=ss_tw
the end of 'shrink it and pink it': a history of advertisers missing the mark with women
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/proof-that-apple-watch-owners-are-desperate-to-convert-you-to-their-side_us_56670ffde4b079b28190293a
proof that apple watch owners are desperate to convert you to their side
0
https://www.theonion.com/family-comes-first-reports-man-trying-to-get-out-of-wo-1819570004
family comes first, reports man trying to get out of work
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/feminists-wearing-babies_us_588411c5e4b0111ea60b96e6
feminists wearing babies
0
https://www.theonion.com/ants-demand-23-9-hour-workday-1819564622
ants demand 23.9-hour workday
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://pubx.ch/1GLvlIj
25 worst original names of famous bands
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/blackberry-revenue_us_576be068e4b0c0252e787bcb
blackberry still exists, and it's doing alright
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/daddy-yankee-singing-despacito-with-a-cancer-patient_us_59529fb3e4b05c37bb79e838
daddy yankee singing 'despacito' with cancer patient needs no translation
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wendy-davis-abortion-filibuster_us_5771371de4b017b379f677a2
wendy davis just won: supreme court vindicates her epic filibuster
0
https://local.theonion.com/pre-teen-moves-from-giggling-at-everything-phase-to-nev-1819565934
pre-teen moves from giggling-at-everything phase to never-smiling phase
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/one-death-linked-to-listeria-in-dole-packaged-salad_us_56a6476ae4b0404eb8f2385b
one death linked to listeria in dole packaged salad
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/six-warnings-about-the-film-fifty-shades-of-grey_b_6707238.html
six warnings about the film fifty shades of grey
0
https://www.theonion.com/u-s-military-lauded-for-creating-gender-neutral-killin-1819574419
u.s. military lauded for creating gender-neutral killing field
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/taking-up-arms-where-bird_n_5685724.html
taking up arms where birds feast on buffet of salmon
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-healthier-menu-features-food-wendy-s-customers-brin-1819577627
new healthier menu features food wendy's customers bring from home
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/new-ed-mcmahon-autobiography-reveals-he-slept-with-7-wo-1819568802
new ed mcmahon autobiography reveals he slept with 7 women
1
https://local.theonion.com/extremely-vibrant-town-able-to-sustain-two-buffalo-wild-1819575614
extremely vibrant town able to sustain two buffalo wild wings
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/yo-soy-blanco_b_5673393.html
yo soy blanco
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obama-poll-watch----decem_b_6408744.html
obama poll watch -- december, 2014
0
https://politics.theonion.com/hopeless-resignation-receives-massive-post-debate-bump-1819579280
hopeless resignation receives massive post-debate bump
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/would-you-buy-a-1433-pound-meteorite-for-11-million_us_56faa1e5e4b0a372181b0284
would you buy a 1,433-pound meteorite for $1.1 million?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chuck-schumer-democrats_us_594fc610e4b0da2c731c2bf9
chuck schumer admits democrats need to do more to show americans what they stand for
0
https://local.theonion.com/boys-whale-song-imitation-not-helping-anything-1819568460
boy's whale-song imitation not helping anything
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/myanmar-earthquake-bagan-templedamage_us_57bf1c01e4b085c1ff281d56
myanmar is picking up the pieces after earthquake damaged ancient pagodas
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/things-gop-debate-gets-wrong-about-abortion-planned-parenthood_us_55fac28ae4b08820d9177e98
8 things the gop debate got wrong about abortion and planned parenthood
0
https://www.theonion.com/satellite-frantically-trying-to-bounce-signal-to-sweari-1819590284
satellite frantically trying to bounce signal to swearing man's phone
1
https://local.theonion.com/man-takes-parents-on-tour-of-city-where-he-came-to-esca-1819577028
man takes parents on tour of city where he came to escape them
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/when-will-the-economy-start-caring-about-home-care_us_59c941ebe4b0b7022a646ca4
when will the economy start caring about home-care work?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-view-from-brexit-britain-america-still-has-the_us_581f1001e4b044f827a78e72
the view from brexit britain -- america still has the chance to repudiate hatred
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/spain-dogs-van_us_5766ca07e4b0fbbc8beab9bf
starved dogs thrown from van are learning to trust humans again
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/ipod-made-by-chinese-children-to-benefit-african-childr-1819588340
ipod made by chinese children to benefit african children
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/instagram-influencers-beauty_us_5aa13616e4b002df2c6163bc
instagram influencers are all starting to look the same. here's why.
0
https://www.theonion.com/rat-fancy-magazine-fails-to-catch-on-1819564347
rat fancy magazine fails to catch on
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/craig-kilborn-ready-to-return-to-the-daily-show-1819569128
craig kilborn ready to return to the daily show
1
https://www.theonion.com/pabst-drinker-celebrates-pabst-purchase-with-pabst-1819586657
pabst drinker celebrates pabst purchase with pabst
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-larry-king_us_57d21444e4b03d2d4599c20a
trump, speaking on russian state-owned network, slams 'dishonest' media
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/celebrity-killed-in-mid-air-747-collision-1819565210
celebrity killed in mid-air 747 collision
1
https://politics.theonion.com/ice-detains-tim-kaine-for-speaking-spanish-at-campaign-1826232907
ice detains tim kaine for speaking spanish at campaign rally
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/heres-how-depression-affects-gay-and-lesbian-couples_us_563d2a46e4b0b24aee4a772d
here's how depression affects gay and lesbian couples
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/winter-seasonal-recipes_us_56b4afd8e4b01d80b245e158
how to eat seasonally in the middle of february
0
https://www.theonion.com/increasingly-desperate-advertisers-settle-for-more-atta-1819577383
increasingly desperate advertisers settle for more attainable 35-to-44-year-old demographic
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nikki-haley-marco-rubio-amnesty_us_5696b3dfe4b0778f46f7e515
nikki haley takes a swipe at marco rubio, saying he 'believes in amnesty'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/iran-protests-civil-rights-movement-or-revolution_us_5a492f23e4b06d1621b9a019
iran protests: civil rights movement or revolution?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-create-a-hotel-worthy-bathroom_us_59b81698e4b0edff9716ce36
how to create a hotel-worthy bathroom
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nih-budget-trump_us_5907a066e4b05c3976818712
scientific research just won a huge victory in the age of trump. here's how.
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mothers-day-gifts-and-cards-for-all-the-geeky-moms-out-there_us_58fa55dbe4b018a9ce5b212f
17 mother's day gifts and cards for all the geeky moms out there
0
https://www.theonion.com/friend-working-at-milwaukee-history-museum-could-probab-1819577506
friend working at milwaukee history museum could probably get you in for free
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chris-christie-admits-he-used-birth-control_us_55c0c68de4b06363d5a364ff
chris christie admits he used birth control
0
https://www.theonion.com/yalie-strikes-harvard-lad-sharply-about-the-face-and-ne-1819566268
yalie strikes harvard lad sharply about the face and neck
1
https://www.theonion.com/white-house-increases-security-after-man-shows-up-at-ov-1819575416
white house increases security after man shows up at oval office looking for obama
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gmo-mosquitoes-might-be-coming-to-save-the-us-from-zika_us_5718f24be4b024dae4f14322
the fate of anti-zika gmo mosquitos in the u.s. rests on florida
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/please-stop-asking-this-unsettling-question-to-women_us_5789ae16e4b0e7c873501b23
please stop asking this unsettling question to women everywhere
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/magnificent-sunset-loses-out-to-home-improvement-judge-1819586557
magnificent sunset loses out to home improvement, judge judy hour
1
https://www.theonion.com/aarp-blasted-as-out-of-touch-past-its-prime-1819567770
aarp blasted as out of touch, past its prime
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chevy-ends-sustainability-plan_us_564df5fde4b031745cf0164d
as chevy ends award-winning sustainability plan, the climate is just as screwed as ever
0
https://sports.theonion.com/performers-frantically-trying-to-incorporate-spewing-se-1819579113
performers frantically trying to incorporate spewing sewage pipe into rio opening ceremony
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-criticize-your-kids-without-ruining-their-self-esteem_b_5871456.html
how to criticize your kids without ruining their self-esteem
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/new-liver-complains-of-difficulty-working-with-lou-reed-1819575068
new liver complains of difficulty working with lou reed
1
https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1819577935
'no way to prevent this,' says only nation where this regularly happens
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/terrorism-cardiovascular-disease_n_6396832.html
how fear of terrorism may put you at risk of long-term disease
0
https://local.theonion.com/consumer-entering-that-awkward-age-between-target-demog-1819577247
consumer entering that awkward age between target demographics
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/super-bowl-signs-vandalized-san-francisco_us_56b033bae4b0b8d7c2306ae6
san francisco vandals keep messing with super bowl 50 signs
0
https://www.theonion.com/man-runs-out-of-questions-to-ask-4-year-old-1819566518
man runs out of questions to ask 4-year-old
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-breaking-cartgate-sca_b_5684500.html
the breaking 'cartgate' scandal in honduras
0
https://politics.theonion.com/white-house-receives-letter-addressed-to-gerald-ford-or-1819591931
white house receives letter addressed to gerald ford or current president
1
https://politics.theonion.com/area-man-relieved-to-hear-state-of-union-still-strong-1819574511
area man relieved to hear state of union still strong
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stanley-ntagali-anti-gay-law_n_5648648.html
uganda's top anglican leader doubles down on anti-gay law
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/southwest-airlines-discrimination_us_5650d583e4b0d4093a580544
man shares baklava with airline passengers who profiled him
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-there-still-time-to-convert-to-christianity-bef-1819579495
report: there still time to convert to christianity before christmas starts
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/illinois-elves-have-some_b_6368466.html
illinois elves have some gift ideas for your favorite politicians
0
https://www.theonion.com/knife-condemned-to-week-inside-saran-wrapped-brownie-pa-1819813371
knife condemned to week inside saran-wrapped brownie pan
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/an-open-letter-to-graduat_1_b_5492846.html
an open letter to graduation speakers
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hundreds-gather-to-support-kim-davis-divine-law-trumps-human-laws_us_55ec7cc5e4b002d5c0764747
hundreds gather to support kim davis: 'she won't bow'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cnn-anchors-new-york-atlanta_n_5372871.html
two cnn anchors are moving to new york
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-mcdonalds-sandwich-offers-free-wi-fi-1819590055
new mcdonald's sandwich offers free wi-fi
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rattlesnakes-have-been-ob_b_5966992.html
rattlesnakes have been observed
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/makeapp-makeup-removal-app_us_5a0c56bde4b0b17ffce1aca1
controversial photo-editing app under fire for makeup removal feature
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/guide-your-childs-intellectual-development-part-2_us_578e9effe4b0f529aa074a0d
guide your child's intellectual development, part 2
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stephen-colbert-donald-trump-alter-egos_us_5a1d19c8e4b0e2ddcbb243a8
stephen colbert gives donald trump's allies and enemies the funniest alter egos
0
https://www.theonion.com/drunken-episode-a-repeat-1819567196
drunken episode a repeat
1
https://local.theonion.com/rude-guy-unfortunately-says-something-funny-1819571122
rude guy unfortunately says something funny
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reuters-journalists-petition_us_5a581d4be4b0720dc4c5b93e
newsguild launches campaign in support of jailed reuters employees
0
https://politics.theonion.com/ted-cruz-provides-detailed-response-to-moderator-s-ques-1819578660
ted cruz provides detailed response to moderator's question about why his face so fucking infuriating
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/us-womens-fencing-team-rio-olympics_us_57ae0c23e4b0718404112f5c
ibtihaj muhammad and the u.s. women's fencing team win bronze
0
https://www.theonion.com/fbi-shuts-down-prominent-new-isis-recruitment-website-1819579573
fbi shuts down prominent new isis recruitment website
1