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https://www.theonion.com/bubba-gump-shrimp-owner-comforts-depressed-guy-fieri-1819574217
bubba gump shrimp owner comforts depressed guy fieri
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/house-science-committee-winter_us_5840d32ce4b0c68e048022cc
the house science committee doesn't seem to understand the concept of winter
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/iran-nuclear-deal-russia_n_6409690.html
iran denies making deal with u.s. to ship nuclear material to russia
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/south-african-prison-rape_b_6288618.html
south african prison rape survivors speak out for the first time
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/highly-creative-people_us_56313441e4b063179910bd4e
18 habits of highly creative people
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/will-the-charlie-hebdo-at_b_6434058.html
will the charlie hebdo terrorist attack kill intelligence reform in the united states?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/katy-perry-taylor-swift-feud-sorry_us_57d57098e4b03d2d459ae0be
katy perry says she'd collaborate with taylor swift under this one simple condition
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/22/us/maryland-pokomoke-city-police-racial-discrimination-suit.html?partner=rss&emc=rss&smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0
fired police chief, 2 other officers, sue for racial discrimination
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/carbon-tax-value-tax_us_58e3d5fbe4b0d0b7e165449d
report: white house exploring new value-added tax and carbon tax
0
https://www.theonion.com/audience-calls-candidates-back-on-stage-for-debate-enco-1819569150
audience calls candidates back on stage for debate encore
1
https://politics.theonion.com/popeye-decries-mideast-bombings-dese-bombinks-is-disgu-1819587037
popeye decries mideast bombings; 'dese bombinks is disgustipating,' says sailor man
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/senate-house-debt-limit_us_562688f9e4b08589ef493a7e
the senate and the house begin their debt limit dance
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robert-durst-admits-he-was-high-on-meth-the-whole-time-while-filming-the-jinx_us_585580e1e4b03904470917e0
robert durst admits he was high on meth 'the whole time' while filming 'the jinx'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scott-beigel-spoke-of-possible-death_us_5a8ae016e4b004fc3194d440
slain teacher told his fiancee what to say if he died in a school shooting
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/most-of-trumps-voters-dont-think-hes-changed-since-taking-office_us_5908705ee4b02655f84048aa
most of trump's voters don't think he's changed since taking office
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robert-pattinson-good-time_us_598db1ebe4b08a247273bf8b
robert pattinson is surprised to learn you still like him
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stepping-back-into-now_b_6368156.html
stepping back into now
0
https://www.theonion.com/milkshake-almost-ruined-by-breakup-1819567023
milkshake almost ruined by breakup
1
https://www.theonion.com/new-diet-surge-targets-overweight-snowboarders-1819586497
new diet surge targets overweight snowboarders
1
https://local.theonion.com/cool-guy-from-middle-school-still-sporting-phat-pair-of-1819591502
cool guy from middle school still sporting phat pair of jncos
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-best-company-perks_us_59dcf805e4b094496e59be05
5 workplace benefits you wish your company offered
0
https://www.theonion.com/department-of-homeland-security-not-about-to-raise-aler-1819578212
department of homeland security not about to raise alert level for 14th anniversary of 9/11
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/queer-boudoir-photos_n_7689678.html
queer couples take it off in stunning boudoir photos (nsfw)
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/maybe-we-shouldnt-waste-m_b_6266458.html
maybe we shouldn't waste money on drug testing michigan welfare recipients
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/details-hazy-on-death-threats-against-epas-scott-pruitt_us_5acabfeae4b0337ad1e9624b
details hazy on 'death threats' against epa's scott pruitt
0
https://www.theonion.com/law-schools-now-require-applicants-to-honestly-state-wh-1819571775
law schools now require applicants to honestly state whether they want to go to law school
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-questions-to-measure-th_b_5411616.html
5 questions to measure the feasibility of your startup idea
0
https://www.theonion.com/underfunded-school-lacks-resources-to-calculate-student-1819568708
underfunded school lacks resources to calculate student-to-teacher ratio
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/by-letting-go-of-perfection-i-found-my-strength-as_us_5a523b44e4b0cd114bdb344f
by letting go of perfection, i found my strength as a mother
0
https://local.theonion.com/salad-suppliers-pledge-to-continue-including-just-enoug-1819579707
salad suppliers pledge to continue including just enough in bag that some will go bad if you're single
1
https://local.theonion.com/beer-aisle-scanned-for-something-asshole-friend-won-t-m-1823433792
beer aisle scanned for something asshole friend won't mock
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/tina-yothers-fantasy-camp-files-for-bankruptcy-1819564406
tina yothers fantasy camp files for bankruptcy
1
https://politics.theonion.com/breaking-congressmen-walking-somewhere-1819575651
breaking: congressmen walking somewhere
1
https://www.theonion.com/disgusted-researchers-can-t-even-bring-themselves-to-fi-1819580104
disgusted researchers can't even bring themselves to find out how much mayo the average american consumes yearly
1
https://www.theonion.com/mcdonalds-birthday-party-to-be-happiest-time-in-childs-1819588446
mcdonald's birthday party to be happiest time in child's life
1
https://www.theonion.com/suicide-hotline-operator-talking-to-ex-boyfriend-again-1819567032
suicide hotline operator talking to ex-boyfriend again
1
https://www.theonion.com/congolese-rebel-cant-bring-himself-to-care-about-congol-1819574267
congolese rebel can't bring himself to care about congolese war
1
https://www.theonion.com/90-percent-of-americans-now-wearing-laminated-id-badges-1819587074
90 percent of americans now wearing laminated id badges
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-media-enemy-poll_us_592f1a54e4b0e09b11ed2eb6
trump backers share his animosity toward the media, poll shows
0
https://local.theonion.com/series-of-grave-errors-results-in-jeff-and-kims-5th-ann-1819574430
series of grave errors results in jeff and kim's 5th anniversary
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-reasons-website-traffic_b_6628080.html
5 reasons website traffic is the lifeblood of small business
0
https://local.theonion.com/parents-trying-to-gauge-if-son-complete-idiot-before-de-1819579233
parents trying to gauge if son complete idiot before deciding whether to move to better school district
1
https://local.theonion.com/half-empty-bottle-of-colt-45-left-on-church-steps-must-1825330000
half-empty bottle of colt 45 left on church steps must be offering to god
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/marine-le-pen-stole-speech-macron_us_59087ddfe4b02655f84060e2
marine le pen literally stole parts of a speech from her rival
0
https://local.theonion.com/man-who-forgot-to-buy-valentines-day-gift-relieved-to-r-1822980022
man who forgot to buy valentine's day gift relieved to remember wife passed away years ago
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jordan-klepper-the-opposition-jon-stewart_us_5a202d6de4b037b8ea206cd4
jordan klepper channels jon stewart in his own search for sanity
0
https://www.theonion.com/okay-gene-lets-just-get-through-this-marketing-execu-1819573916
'okay, gene, let's just get through this,' marketing executive beginning day tells self
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/cash-strapped-moviepass-limiting-new-users-to-one-movie-1826085096
cash-strapped moviepass limiting new users to one movie filmed in ceo's backyard per month
1
https://local.theonion.com/genuine-love-and-respect-only-thing-holding-area-relati-1819572649
genuine love and respect only thing holding area relationship together
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bring-a-bit-of-cheer-into_b_8723010.html
buck up. the denver holiday season is upon us
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-strongest-human-relationships-emerge-from-bashi-1819576336
report: strongest human relationships emerge from bashing friend who couldn't make it out
1
https://politics.theonion.com/green-party-official-caught-embezzling-campaign-funds-f-1819565775
green party official caught embezzling campaign funds for dime bag
1
https://politics.theonion.com/john-kelly-denies-any-knowledge-of-staffers-misconduct-1822876481
john kelly denies any knowledge of staffer's misconduct that will break in few month's time
1
https://www.theonion.com/kleenex-box-inadequately-covered-1819565300
kleenex box inadequately covered
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whos-afraid-to-think_us_57decf7ee4b04fa361d99d60
who's afraid to think?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/90s-dark-lipstick-celebrity-trend_us_56b11f2ce4b08069c7a546c0
these stars prove dark '90s lipstick is eternally cool
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-eternal-optimist_b_9600176.html
the eternal optimist
0
https://www.theonion.com/end-of-soup-season-can-t-come-soon-enough-for-oft-burne-1819591114
end of soup season can't come soon enough for oft-burned tongue
1
https://local.theonion.com/snorkeling-instructor-unaware-he-s-in-background-of-400-1819577387
snorkeling instructor unaware he's in background of 400 dating profile photos
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/new-pumpkin-spice-channel-to-offer-fall-themed-hardcore-1819575699
new pumpkin spice channel to offer fall-themed hardcore pornography
1
https://local.theonion.com/area-desk-doesnt-mind-if-people-sit-on-it-like-a-chair-1819591292
area desk doesn't mind if people sit on it like a chair every once in a while
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/jay-z-on-second-thought-i-like-orlando-more-1819571257
jay-z: 'on second thought, i like orlando more'
1
https://local.theonion.com/length-of-relationship-mistaken-for-quality-of-relation-1819575610
length of relationship mistaken for quality of relationship
1
https://www.theonion.com/dental-hygienist-sick-of-being-lied-to-1819568199
dental hygienist sick of being lied to
1
https://www.theonion.com/wheel-of-fortune-contestants-hit-hard-as-vowel-prices-s-1819569834
'wheel of fortune' contestants hit hard as vowel prices skyrocket
1
https://www.theonion.com/poll-support-for-afghanistan-war-up-among-americans-wh-1819573439
poll: support for afghanistan war up among americans who love horrible situations
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/blake-shelton-gushes-about-gwen-stefani_us_565d9c7de4b072e9d1c31ccb
blake shelton gushes about gwen stefani before her beautiful 'voice' performance
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-u-s-consumers-spend-900-billion-each-year-aft-1819578671
report: u.s. consumers spend $900 billion each year after saying 'gimme one of those, too'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/introvert-tweets-november_us_5a20610ae4b03c44072c0c62
16 tweets that define what it means to be an introvert
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-lies-crowd-size_us_5884104ae4b0e3a735699697
trump and his press secretary flagrantly lied on their first full day in office. that matters.
0
https://www.theonion.com/if-hamster-only-knew-what-happened-to-last-hamster-1819588082
if hamster only knew what happened to last hamster
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/libya-says-algerian-milit_n_7581630.html
report: algerian militant killed in u.s. strike targeting al qaeda operatives in libya
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/james-corden-neil-patrick-harris-riff-off-video_us_58748b67e4b043ad97e587e1
james corden battles neil patrick harris in aca-mazing broadway riff-off
0
https://politics.theonion.com/aides-advise-obama-to-avoid-any-mention-of-america-duri-1819576038
aides advise obama to avoid any mention of america during state of the union speech
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mattis-tillerson-want-blank-check-to-wage-illegal_us_5a0063dde4b0d467d4c226b4
mattis, tillerson want blank check to wage illegal war
0
https://www.theonion.com/soulless-man-has-cordless-phone-1819586391
soulless man has cordless phone
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-zealand-first-cat-paddles_us_59f038a0e4b0b7e63265ce3d
meet paddles, the most powerful cat in new zealand
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/holiday-instagrams_n_6277422.html
10 instagram accounts to follow to get you in the holiday spirit
0
https://www.theonion.com/new-low-stooped-to-1819564176
new low stooped to
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/overtime-reform-trump_us_59f7561ce4b09b5c256772ce
obama's overtime reforms aren't dead yet
0
https://politics.theonion.com/obama-increases-sense-of-urgency-by-riding-last-white-r-1819592431
obama increases sense of urgency by riding last white rhino on earth through climate talk
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opening-wider-diving-deep_b_7664534.html
opening wider and diving deeper into the immeasurable beauty and pain of life
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chris-murphy-is-really-pissed-off_us_55df57f2e4b029b3f1b1f618
chris murphy: congress giving 'quiet endorsement' to murders
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/its-time-to-stop-chasing-_b_5568855.html
it's time to stop chasing the impossible ideal
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ricky-martin-style-evolution_us_5a68a6c5e4b00228300890a4
ricky martin's style evolution, from menudo to mullets and beyond
0
https://politics.theonion.com/fbi-calls-for-increased-surveillance-powers-to-keep-pac-1819579744
fbi calls for increased surveillance powers to keep pace with evolving threat of presidential administrations
1
https://www.theonion.com/area-ostrich-lashes-out-against-unnecessarily-restricti-1819586116
area ostrich lashes out against unnecessarily restrictive zoning laws
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/daily-show-trump-g-damn-hes-cute_us_58dc97e3e4b0e6ac7092470f
trevor noah: 'trump may destroy the world, but god damn he's cute'
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/sandwich-from-television-commercial-spotted-at-local-re-1819572802
sandwich from television commercial spotted at local restaurant
1
https://local.theonion.com/signed-8x10-of-tony-danza-draws-millions-to-brooklyn-dr-1819565059
signed 8x10 of tony danza draws millions to brooklyn dry cleaner
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/vietnam-activist-toxic-spill_us_5a1d1763e4b071403b28a1aa
another vietnamese activist slapped with prison sentence for toxic spill criticism
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/taylor-swift-family-portrait_n_5561685.html
taylor swift shares 'family portrait' with lots of famous ladies
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hawaii-millennials-census-data_n_6270948.html
how are hawaii's millennials doing these days?
0
https://politics.theonion.com/afterbirthers-demand-to-see-obamas-placenta-1819570972
afterbirthers demand to see obama's placenta
1
https://www.theonion.com/budweiser-unveils-social-anxiety-bottle-with-900-more-1819592311
budweiser unveils social anxiety bottle with 900% more label to pick at
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/margaret-atwoods-advice-for-young-feminists-be-informed-be-aware_us_58c05330e4b0ed7182696155
margaret atwood's advice for young feminists: 'be informed, be aware'
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chicago-blue-line-shooting_n_5961262.html
man opens fire on chicago subway train: police
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-new-federal-law-will-change-foster-care-as-we_us_5ae9d9bce4b048b02a2720cc
this new federal law will change foster care as we know it
0
https://www.theonion.com/clear-theme-of-obedient-children-emerging-in-father-s-b-1819575250
clear theme of obedient children emerging in father's bedtime stories
1
https://local.theonion.com/report-mom-has-plan-for-tub-of-whipped-cream-in-fridge-1819577462
report: mom has plan for tub of whipped cream in fridge
1