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https://entertainment.theonion.com/sara-gilbert-crush-finally-starting-to-subside-1819567430
sara gilbert crush finally starting to subside
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/food-waste-poll-americans-guilt_us_5797ac1ee4b01180b53071e7
77% of us feel bad about wasting food, but aren't sure what to do
0
https://politics.theonion.com/presidential-debate-commission-anesthetizes-audience-to-1819579375
presidential debate commission anesthetizes audience to prevent outbursts during debate
1
https://www.theonion.com/vatican-unveils-new-pope-signal-1819586255
vatican unveils new pope signal
1
https://www.theonion.com/camera-crew-discreetly-trails-overweight-woman-for-obes-1819567488
camera crew discreetly trails overweight woman for obesity segment
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/inside-paris-with-an-urba_b_5669169.html
inside paris with an urban explorer
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/suicide-squad-kills-box-office-competition-with-135-1-million-debut_us_57a79142e4b056bad215ddb3
'suicide squad' kills box office competition with massive $135.1 million debut
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/update-taylor-swift-back-together-with-ex-boyfriend-ch-1819574545
update: taylor swift back together with ex-boyfriend christopher dorner
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/huffpost-rise-morning-newsbrief-oct-20_us_5625d160e4b08589ef48c96e
huffpost rise morning newsbrief, october 20
0
https://www.theonion.com/area-man-not-about-to-tie-his-shoe-when-hes-4-blocks-aw-1819577684
area man not about to tie his shoe when he's 4 blocks away from sitting down
1
https://www.theonion.com/god-announces-plans-to-shift-majority-of-resources-tied-1819579503
god announces plans to shift majority of resources tied up in humanity project to birds, rocks
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/opinion-signorile-laura-ingraham-boycott_us_5ac0d44ce4b0a47437abc2b9
laura ingraham learned the hard way she can't do what the boys do at fox news
0
https://politics.theonion.com/obama-turns-50-despite-republican-opposition-1819572828
obama turns 50 despite republican opposition
1
https://www.theonion.com/gm-announces-plans-to-recall-driverless-car-by-2021-1819577829
gm announces plans to recall driverless car by 2021
1
https://www.theonion.com/raving-maniac-just-saying-what-everyone-wants-to-hear-1819588249
raving maniac just saying what everyone wants to hear
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/puking-seagull-plasticide-sculpture_us_58dc101ee4b0e6ac7091e802
puking statue will make you feel sick -- but you need to look
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/four-must-know-facts-abou_b_5541499.html
4 must-know facts about clinton wealth
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-you-know-you-are-a-fucking-idiot-right-1819572768
report: you know you are a fucking idiot, right?
1
https://www.theonion.com/pet-winterized-1819587707
pet winterized
1
https://www.theonion.com/pope-francis-asks-congregation-if-it-s-okay-if-they-do-1824185569
pope francis asks congregation if it's okay if they do a low-key easter this year
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-brexit-will-mean-for-travelers-in-the-near-future_us_577994c7e4b0ad1e7bff1818
what brexit can mean for travelers in the near future
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/is-american-democracy-doomed_us_584d6498e4b0016e504304f6
is american democracy doomed?
0
https://www.theonion.com/report-freezers-in-healthy-choice-corporate-offices-pr-1819578708
report: freezers in healthy choice corporate offices probably stocked with every kind of healthy choice you could imagine
1
https://local.theonion.com/were-in-this-together-you-guys-reports-newest-member-1819571702
'we're in this together, you guys,' reports newest member of crunch gym
1
https://www.theonion.com/man-filled-with-gratitude-at-sight-of-other-customer-in-1819577608
man filled with gratitude at sight of other customer in nice restaurant wearing jeans
1
https://www.theonion.com/college-roommates-to-continue-bonding-process-until-rea-1819573782
college roommates to continue bonding process until real friends made
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/woman-gives-birth-to-her-new-book-baby-in-hilarious-photoshoot_us_590b2dd4e4b0bb2d0875d4cb
woman gives birth to her new (book) baby in hilarious photoshoot
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/catherine-zeta-jones-happy-to-see-people-on-internet-wo-1819572700
catherine zeta-jones happy to see people on internet would still hit that
1
https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-forced-to-kneel-before-zod-1819564542
clinton forced to kneel before zod
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.bkmag.com/2016/03/04/love-my-boyfriend-but-hate-relationship/
i love my boyfriend, but i hate our relationship: on non-monogamy
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/khizr-khan-paul-ryan-mitch-mcconnell_us_579c1d52e4b0693164c1726f
father of war hero near tears as he pleads with paul ryan, mitch mcconnell to 'repudiate' trump
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dick-durbin-dreamers_us_5a399129e4b06d1621b04241
democrats split over opposing government funding bill that doesn't protect dreamers
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-is-a-reverse-mortgag_b_7200038.html
what is a reverse mortgage?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-transgender-conservative-response_us_58b0667de4b060480e0761a6
'family' groups praise president trump's decision to roll back trans rights
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scotland-leader-trump-response_us_5824a618e4b07751c390dca1
scottish leader puts trump on notice in model response to his win
0
https://www.theonion.com/single-fat-kid-takes-50-years-off-jungle-gyms-life-1819590787
single fat kid takes 50 years off jungle gym's life
1
https://local.theonion.com/kiddie-pool-falls-into-disrepair-1819587335
kiddie pool falls into disrepair
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sales-of-the-week-saks-old-navy-joe-fresh_n_5175888.html
the sales of the week will make you forget that it's 30 degrees in april
0
https://www.theonion.com/whitey-bulger-verdict-interrupted-by-ben-affleck-shouti-1819575418
whitey bulger verdict interrupted by ben affleck shouting commands from director's chair in balcony
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/glimpse-of-gene-shalit-on-tv-reminds-woman-its-time-for-1819587138
glimpse of gene shalit on tv reminds woman it's time for bikini wax
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kim-kardashian-jeans_us_587549b5e4b03c8a02d3aec7
kim kardashian is back on the town, and her look is... interesting
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-ear-bite_us_58864fa2e4b096b4a2339cdb
biting argument over trump may cost man his ear
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cincinnati-campus-police-citations_us_55ca3dfae4b0923c12be5172
cincinnati campus police had surge in citations against black motorists and pedestrians
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gina-rodriguez-is-giving-trailblazing-women-the-awards-show-they-deserve_us_57f7723ce4b068ecb5dd9edd
gina rodriguez is giving trailblazing women the awards show they deserve
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/state-of-the-union-guests_us_569280b6e4b0a2b6fb707a42
here's who the obamas invited to the state of the union address
0
https://local.theonion.com/local-pet-store-sells-living-things-to-just-anyone-off-1819567865
local pet store sells living things to just anyone off the street
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/britney-spears-abs-are-your-monday-morning-workout-motivation_us_57dfe19fe4b08cb140969f2e
britney spears' abs are your monday morning workout motivation
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/not-very-good-album-takes-a-little-while-to-get-into-1819571510
not very good album takes a little while to get into
1
https://politics.theonion.com/obama-supporter-has-perfectly-improbable-explanation-ab-1819574995
obama supporter has perfectly improbable explanation absolving president from blame for scandals
1
https://www.theonion.com/peruvian-shockingly-knowledgeable-about-u-s-history-1819567201
peruvian shockingly knowledgeable about u.s. history
1
https://politics.theonion.com/damning-video-surfaces-of-trump-accepting-gop-nominatio-1819579325
damning video surfaces of trump accepting gop nomination for president
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/human-rights-for-hindus-r_b_5431853.html
human rights for hindus remains elusive in some parts of the world
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ebola-panic-us_us_56fabbd7e4b014d3fe243d86
with ebola no longer an international emergency, let's recall how america lost its mind over it
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/reb-zalmans-unique-funeral_b_5624925.html
reb zalman's unique funeral
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/documentary-a-scathing-indictment-of-director-s-filmmak-1819576799
documentary a scathing indictment of director's filmmaking skills
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ben-carson-cnn-alisyn-camerota_us_563d3655e4b0307f2cada1cb
ben carson bizarrely attacks cnn host in hostile interview
0
https://www.theonion.com/civilization-collapses-1819564460
civilization collapses
1
https://www.theonion.com/crush-on-williams-sonoma-employee-costing-man-a-fortune-1819569578
crush on williams-sonoma employee costing man a fortune
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lael-brainard-hillary-clinton-treasury_us_580fe99ae4b001e247df224b
here's how to tell if hillary clinton will keep her promises on trade
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lin-manuel-miranda-donald-trump_us_57f9eaf9e4b068ecb5df3fc0
lin-manuel miranda disses donald trump in 'my shot' remix on 'snl'
0
https://entertainment.theonion.com/teen-accurately-describes-robert-mapplethorpe-exhibit-a-1819568884
teen accurately describes robert mapplethorpe exhibit as 'gay'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/arkansas-judge-accused-of-trading-sentence-reductions-for-sex_us_564bb5ade4b045bf3df198a9
arkansas judge accused of trading sentence reductions for sex
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mccarthy-paul-ryan-house-republicans-are-trying-to-tell-the-senate-what-to-do-with-the-filibuster_us_59b9ae31e4b0edff97191877
house republicans are trying to tell the senate what to do with its filibuster
0
https://www.theonion.com/partially-faded-hand-stamp-undermining-everything-prose-1819574332
partially faded hand stamp undermining everything prosecutor says
1
https://politics.theonion.com/cash-strapped-trump-forced-to-replace-eric-trump-with-c-1819578990
cash-strapped trump forced to replace eric trump with cheap migrant son
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://pubx.ch/1inik3t
dog gives priceless reaction when owner pretends to faint
0
https://local.theonion.com/responsible-gun-owner-keeps-firearms-safely-locked-away-1819578160
responsible gun owner keeps firearms safely locked away where only he can get them during mental breakdown
1
https://sports.theonion.com/rex-rob-ryan-finally-get-bunk-beds-they-always-wanted-1819578563
rex, rob ryan finally get bunk beds they always wanted
1
https://local.theonion.com/mom-reports-that-hometown-actually-has-a-lot-going-on-n-1819577473
mom reports that hometown actually has a lot going on now
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mad-men-tca-panel_n_6449350.html
six things we learned from the 'mad men' tca panel
0
https://www.theonion.com/glitch-in-country-allows-citizens-to-temporarily-walk-t-1820916560
glitch in country allows citizens to temporarily walk through tables
1
https://www.theonion.com/pope-francis-pardons-those-who-dodged-the-draft-during-1820291153
pope francis pardons those who dodged the draft during crusades
1
https://politics.theonion.com/rich-white-people-get-latino-guy-to-do-some-work-for-th-1819574518
rich white people get latino guy to do some work for them
1
https://www.theonion.com/heart-attack-a-real-wake-up-call-for-man-s-insurance-pr-1819578864
heart attack a real wake-up call for man's insurance provider
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-these-trump-voters-are-sticking-up-for-an-undocumented_us_58d14509e4b0e0d348b347e8
why these trump voters are sticking up for an undocumented neighbor
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2016/01/10/syrian-refugee-state-of-the-union-address-guest-of-first-lady/78523490/
syrian refugees are among the obamas' state of the union guests
0
https://www.theonion.com/excited-cia-director-can-t-wait-to-declassify-last-nigh-1819577732
excited cia director can't wait to declassify last night's incredible mission in middle east
1
https://politics.theonion.com/hillary-clinton-to-nation-do-not-fuck-this-up-for-me-1819577688
hillary clinton to nation: 'do not fuck this up for me'
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-is-officially-president-now-what_us_584c6d07e4b0016e504304a5
trump is officially our president-elect. now what?
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/im-going-to-keep-smiling_b_9125372.html
i'm going to keep smiling
0
https://www.theonion.com/phone-sex-ad-masturbated-to-for-0-cents-a-minute-1819587239
phone-sex ad masturbated to for 0 cents a minute
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/are-our-nominations-diverse-enough-for-you-whiny-dipshi-1822340663
'are our nominations diverse enough for you whiny dipshits?' sneers academy president unprovoked after listing nominees
1
https://politics.theonion.com/condoleezza-rice-drives-halfway-to-airport-before-reali-1819569002
condoleezza rice drives halfway to airport before realizing she forgot interpreter
1
https://www.theonion.com/museum-proudly-exhibits-picasso-shitty-enough-to-be-in-1819576823
museum proudly exhibits picasso shitty enough to be in kansas city
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gender-nonconforming-kids-caught-in-the-crosshairs_us_58dffd0ce4b0ca889ba1a66e
gender non-conforming kids caught in the crosshairs of hate
0
https://local.theonion.com/spatial-skills-abandon-area-man-during-search-for-corre-1819571022
spatial skills abandon area man during search for correct tupperware lid
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alyson-stoner-opens-up-about-falling-in-love-with-a-woman-in-emotional-essay_us_5ac23884e4b055e50acf38f0
alyson stoner opens up about falling in love with a woman
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/discovering-the-pink-pett_b_5542386.html
discovering the pink petticoat, tampa's lingerie treasure trove
0
https://politics.theonion.com/bush-urges-senate-to-give-alito-fair-quick-unanimous-1819568229
bush urges senate to give alito fair, quick, unanimous confirmation
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/former-soldier-turned-zen_b_6118266.html
former soldier turned zen monk teaches vets to use mindfulness as body armor
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-tom-brady-locker-room-talk_us_57fe9b7be4b05eff55814556
tom brady does not want to talk about his 'good friend' trump's gross comments
0
https://local.theonion.com/christmas-letter-ominously-makes-no-mention-of-the-twin-1819573163
christmas letter ominously makes no mention of the twins
1
https://local.theonion.com/elderly-woman-begins-freezing-meals-husband-can-eat-whi-1819577261
elderly woman begins freezing meals husband can eat while she's passed away
1
https://entertainment.theonion.com/8-simple-rules-laugh-track-replaced-with-somber-string-1819567114
8 simple rules laugh track replaced with somber string arrangement
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/man-tried-to-bribe-officer-with-pink-cake-police-say_us_56fe9735e4b083f5c6077f2d
what self-respecting cop would accept this cake as a bribe?
0
https://www.theonion.com/gaunt-sickly-kirby-takes-leave-of-absence-from-video-g-1819580064
gaunt, sickly kirby takes leave of absence from video games following stomach cancer diagnosis
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/georgia-election-tight-finish_us_5949c4d2e4b00cdb99cb2d51
trump weighs in as costly congressional race heads for a tight finish
0
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/barry-jenkins-moonlight-oscarssowhite_us_584eeba5e4b04c8e2bb0d212
for 'moonlight' director barry jenkins, seeing his diverse film win awards is 'beautiful'
0
https://www.theonion.com/obama-proposes-tax-increase-on-meanest-2-of-population-1819572839
obama proposes tax increase on meanest 2% of population
1
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/noose-found-in-african-american-history-museum-exhibit-in-dc_us_592f4249e4b0e09b11ed63d8
noose found in african-american history museum exhibit in d.c.
0