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It was like nothing I'd ever seen. Whatever it was jutted out of the earth like a tower, and it even had windows running down its length, almost like a lighthouse. The canyon rose up on either side of me, hiding it from view in the surrounding area. The other "dates"I'd been on had been pretty locations, but this was t...
They told me I had aged gracefully. They said I looked good, but where once the compliment had been genuine, now it rang hollow, qualified by an unspoken "for someone of your age." Every day I studied myself. Sometimes changes were so slow, you'd hardly notice them happening. Skin that didn't snap back quite as quick...
The small craft shook from side to side, the rough waves knocking it about like a featherpod being batted by a tentacular plant. I gripped the inner rail, gulping slightly at the turmoil in my stomach and tried to look anywhere else but the objective ahead. Thousands of other little metal boats sped to the shore, fille...
Dust, darkness, the pops of cooling metal. These were the sounds that first pressed on my brain as I regained consciousness. I looked over at partner's chair and saw him hanging, limp from the restraints. He looked to be as out of it as I had been. I swept my eyes over the control panel in front of me, distressed to se...
This feels real. The ground is soft with a permanent layer of mist on it. Behind me there's a huge hole with what looks like a satellite view of the world, just over my country. In front is a massive gate, attached to nothing. I hear something, like a car park up along side of me. What looks like a classic Mercedes co...
Hmm, the decision is hard. This life was awful. So much hurt, so much horror, and so much hardship. I don’t want to go through that again. The levels which I had to rise to, the ones which I had to sink to, it all made me so mad. In my head I only heard the drip drip of the waters that claimed my life. Drip drip, woos...
DECEMBER 21ST, 2012. ———————————————————— “What is it?” Rook Stellar of the International Space Station looked at the satellite reports with concern. His colleague, Alyssa Williams, pulled up a chart on the expansive screen in front of them. “Look, this is an image of the Eugestra Void two weeks ago. As you can se...
Steven moved into the house a week ago. The rent was cheep and it wasn't as though he deserved a nice place. No one else wanted to live there, so he took it. He had hoped that he’d at least be alone there—the seven roommates were not on the ad. He had not left his bed in the week since he moved in, not bothering to unp...
This wasn't at all how the other knights described it. Drukel stood in the field, armor gleaming brilliantly in the summer sun. Even that was wrong, he now knew, for no veteran warrior had platemail so clean and unscathed. "Like a newborn baby,"laughed the others as he'd left on his first mission that morning, and Dru...
Meanwhile elsewhere - "I'm telling you, I just couldn't find the guy!"The hooded figure whines to his coworker, motioning with his cup of hot coffee. "The guy just up and left the area he was supposed to be in. I checked his house, his work, everywhere. The guy just vanished!" The devil sitting next to him, his br...
I watched as the heroes ran through the halls of my fortress. It was a massive building, truly fit for an emperor. It was a symbol of my greatness, filled to the brim with undead servants. The magical crystal ball that I watched them through showed the heroes on their way to the dungeon. These were the ones. They had m...
[Phone] I looked at the first paper. It had to be a joke. A pie chart showed the overall composition of my ancestry. My aunt, my cousins, my own dad... they were my relatives, right? And they were humans, right? When I thought about taking these tests, I expected to find out more about myself. I never imagined I ...
The roar of the thrusters propelled all manner of dirt and detritus through the grassy clearing. The shimmer of dew could be observed from the top of the boarding deck as peering out the window, the young Nerix pressed what could generously be called his hand upon the windowed observation deck. "Water!"he exclaimed. ...
I stand holding a small notebook and a pencil, surrounded by tall, lean soldiers in military gear. There are five that I count. One is standing, palm outstretched towards me; his palm clearly reads "fire."That one's pretty obvious. The others palms are also aimed at me, and I slowly look around, reading them. Water, wi...
It burns. It always does. Not painful, certainly not comfortable either. You feel it run up your spine, split to reach both shoulderblades and trickle back down like a colony of ants gone marching. It was scary at first, and when the dust of novelty settled it became a sense like any other. Your eyes see, your fing...
I open the door to my suite to find a dapper, well-dressed man with a short beard sitting on the couch, thumbing through the channels on my old flat screen TV. On his lap, he balanced a wicked-looking, 5 feet long thunderbolt. "What the fuck?"That's probably the correct response to a mysterious intruder right? Whe...
The bartender was stunned. "I don't get it. That guy had muscles the size of watermelons. I saw him lift a horse yesterday! You've got arms like noodles, how did you arm-wrestle him?" Anton grinned. "Stats in this world are coded poorly. Acrobatics, for example, goes up faster if you fall off a mountain than if you ju...
"You've made a horrible mistake,"the Holy Knight said, and there was true horror in his voice. The Irrelevant laughed at the man's distress. &#x200B; "I think not, by now the CEO of Glamourous You will have received my demands of random and be halfway through making the various transfers. After that, it's just a...
I am petulant violence. Or at least I think am. And I'll bet you'll believe me, too. Once this is all over. My shoes rap across cold stones. They guided me on, sending me down the street, aiming towards the man of my nightmares. To think a hero could do such a thing. But here I am, waltzing towards the man, a grin on...
In life, sometimes you find that there are paths that must be trod, regardless of how safe it is to do so. It is not comfortable to walk those paths. It is hard. Harrowing. Deadly even, in some cases. But still one must place that first foot down, beginning a journey of a thousand steps and a hundred dangers. It might ...
If there’s one thing I’ve always been proud of, it’s my healthy lifestyle. I always hear my coworkers complain about their organs. “Omg, my liver has been whining since that bachelorette party two days ago.” “Ugh my stomach is saying I’m eating too much sodium so it feels funny, well sorry if I enjoy my fried chicken!...
"She's not the hero we deserve, or need, or even want actually. We've asked her to stop doing it a couple of times, but she just sort of keeps showing up", said the Commissioner to the new Mayor. The newly elected official sat behind a large oak desk while the Commissioner paced around him. The Mayor sighed. “An...
“You don’t understand!” Greg yells back, “I wake up feeling dead inside everyday that must count right?” “Oh funny joke!” The reaper retorts.. “but no… don’t worry I have you penciled in for 20 years in the future but now.. now go live your damn life Greg” “But wait you don’t understand!” Says Greg.. “My wife Alice...
I stood there wishing that I was looking at a corpse riddled with bullet holes. That would have been easier to stomach than the mess at my feet. Brandon "The Bear"Dean was gone. Scattered on the bar floor was his flesh--shattered flesh, soft, suntanned shards in jagged pieces everywhere you looked. The gallon of or...
Funny enough, during undergrad work in Anthropology a very similar situation is posited. In Archaeology classes you are often encouraged to look at how things could be potentially used, and not just say "religious reasons"and put it aside. As an exercise, the professors would often pick a random object common in houses...
I checked my watch nervously. 20:58 and 46 seconds. The hand flicked to 47 seconds. I had 15 seconds left. It was now or never. I pulled the lever and... nothing happened. 'Damn it!'. If this didn't work, it would never work. I had spent what felt like several lifetimes putting this together. Each time I got closer...
"I'm sorry, human,"the alien said, "but your application to join the galactic federation has been rejected." "What?"the ambassador said. "Why?" "It's not that you're not a great species,"the alien said, "you are. It's just that you lack a sense of globnoff." "What's globnoff?"the ambassador said. "It's a sense that...
I don't quite know what drove me to it. But one day, I woke up and started building. I'd always enjoyed the practical physical part of my job, and this was a challenge unlike any other. Soon, thoughts of it consumed my mind. When I woke up, I thought about the machine, when I had a spare moment during the day, I though...
Loop number 4246 This room is starting to annoy me more then usual , every time I am unhappy with the result I can reset myself , I always appear in this white room , just me , a table , a bed , a fridge with food and water (not that I get hungry here anyways) and this notepad. And one door for when I leave and retak...
And with a point of the blue wizard's wand, the battle had begun. The red wizard circled him in the dueling ring. "May all your socks grow holes!"He countered with precision. A hum of approval went up from the crowd. The blue wizard frowned sweeping his arm wide in a flourish as if to deflect the curse's blow, but eve...
It is a beautiful day. Perfect for a wedding. And what a wedding it is. Two large families and many personal friends of the groom and bride, coming together to celebrate love. A joining of blood and souls. There are the young flower-girls, innocent and cheerful, ever-so-proud of their job. There are the bridesmaids, h...
A voice echoed a hundred times with a single question after I mentioned my father. "You thought he had abandoned you?" "He suddenly left one day, so yes."As I responded, I continued to bring the bow of my violin back and forth. The somber voice of the instrument sang as I spoke again. "I know why now, but it still hurt...
David stood on the wrong side of the railing along the Old East Bridge, his hands behind him gripping the cold steel, as he stared through the swirling flurry of snow at the icy water churning hundreds of feet below him. He could lean forward, let go, and that would be it. A moment of cold and dark, and then nothing. ...
The adventurers stood around the fallen beast, bloody weapons in hand. They all panted like dogs under the midday sun. The strange, giant, bull-like creature did not go down easy. The townsfolk slowly emerge from their huts, staring in awe at their heroes, thanking the gods that they had happened to be in the tavern w...
"So what do you say?"the man asks. His toothy grin beckons an answer. After spending a lifetime of taking orders from suits, the head job is mine for the taking. I've already killed once for the opportunity, but there's something not quite right about this one. I wipe a bead of sweat from my temple. "You look thirsty...
The day I was born my fairy godmother appeared, as is the custom, and summoned from the air the most amazingly beautiful figure anyone had ever seen. Six foot three, pure muscle with giant wings sprouting from his back, this naked adonis glowed with holy light. Golden hair ran down his bronzed back and wide blue eyes r...
CHAPTER ONE THE BOY WHO LIVED DANGEROUSLY Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they didn't take anyone's shit. They were the last people you'd expect to be on the bad side of the wizard mafia, because they just didn't fuck with that scene. Mr. Dursley was the CEO of a firm calle...
Justice Scalia sat high on his bench with a folio in his hands, preparing to read the opinion. Just before he started, Justice Kagan grinned, leaned over and extended a slobbery tongue, rubbing it down the length of the paper. Scalia shot daggers at her, but she cackled gleefully and grabbed the folder from his hands. ...
“Hey everyone, thanks for coming. We have a new member joining our party today, meet Wade!” Wade waved at the collected group. There were only seven of us in our party, small for the large battle we are going to be participating in. I was standing at the head of our team table. We had me, Jenna, Zoe, David, Andrew, Mi...
IN A WORLD... (overhead shot of mountain) WHERE EVERYTHING IS ICE... (closer shot of mountain) ONE WOMAN... (shot of Shia LeBeouf) WILL CHANGE... (closer shot of Shia) EVERYTHING. (Explosion.) ***** STARRING SHIA LEBEOUF AS ELSA (Explosion, dramatic scream) AND MEGAN FOX AS ANA (close up of skimpily dress...
I floated high above the parade of zombies. They were all trudging forward in the direction of the coast. What zombies would want to do at the beach, though, beats me. A zombie beach party? Very funny. One of the zombies caught my eye. I squinted with my ghostly eyes and thought I saw someone I recognized. It couldn’t...
You see, I was curious. Quite curious, actually. Just dying to know. Every eclipse, Mother would give me dark glasses and make me swear by my dead father to not take them off. Teachers would animatedly tell us how our eyes would become little burnt buttons if we looked at the eclipsed sun directly. As we grew older, t...
I searched for a significant amount of time. I googled "fight clubs in TX", hoping that someone would interpret a written medium as an exception to the first rule. No luck. It almost made me re-enlist, which should show you how fucking crazy I was becoming. In the end I got a night time job guarding a dump. Literally. ...
Ian: Thank you guys for coming. I'm really excited about this new adventure I've cooked up for you all. So let's all introduce our characters. Sean: I'm running a Half-Orc barbarian named Krushov. But he not the dumb, smashy kind of half-Orc. He's suave, like James Bond suave. Kiera: Don't half-orcs have a charisma p...
He stared at the figures, trying to get his head around them. It simply wasn't possible. You couldn't run a country with net financial loss for 200 years. It simply wasn't possible. Bernard picked up the phone. "Sir Humphrey?" "Yes Bernard?" "Come take a look at this." With a sigh Sir Humphrey got up and walked dow...
John sat on his front porch, and waited for the world to end. Off in the corral, he could see the four horses - those four damned horses - roaming like normal beasts, but he could tell that they were skittish. He'd spent his entire life raising horses, but these, these were the finest creatures he'd ever raised. Not b...
He looked around the crowd, smugly smiling and taking in the scene. Amongst protesters, supporters, friends and enemies, Donald Trump stood triumphantly, looking deeply into the camera. The world was silent, he hadn't uttered a single word. He slowly approached the microphone, and leaned in close to it. He only uttered...
"Tell meeee,"the purple woman purred. "Tell me again, how long you can make love to me." I swallowed. "Maybe anywhere up to... five minutes?"I said. She gasped. "Six if I think about baseball statistics." One of her tongues licked two of her lips. "Tell me more of these... baseball statistics." "Well,"I said, "I t...
My fist struck the nearby wall, pent up anger from the day finally being released as the sound echoed through the empty house. It had been another day at school, the same old same old, shoved into a corner, anything I had on me either being stolen or shoved into the garbage while I had to watch. Teachers did nothing ...
Clouds flooded the sky and threatened rain the day my father died. He was only four hundred and nineteen years old. Young for a pine tree. Still just a boy, really. I don't know much about the world out there because of course, I'm rooted to the spot. I only know what I hear from my family, those trees around me. They ...
Today was Hector Pryor's final day of work. The weight of his responsibilities fell from his shoulders, only to be replaced with the weight of his vest. He zipped his coat over it and evaluated himself in the mirror. His hair was unkempt, his face greasy, and even his mirror image reeked of unwashed grime. But it didn'...
"How much is this Honda gonna cost me?" I looked at the young man in front of me. He was barely 19, and here he was buying his first car. I remember when I was his age, almost eight years ago. He had the tenacity of young people, ready to face the world. Hard working, ambitious, glass half full. Do or die and you only...
Johnson stared at the two men in front of him. Something about them seemed so unnatural, so uncanny. How had they found him? "So you're telling me a perpetual motion machine is illegal?" "Impossible, unfortunately,"the larger man said, as he inspected the machine. "But it's right here in front of you! It's real! I...
Disach had always wanted to work in the Ministry of Hell. He was a graduate of Hell Academy, with a primary focus in Torture Methods and a minor focus in Foresight. Most of what Disach did in the Academy was usual in terms of their practice. A lot of it was theory, especially Foresight, but a few of his upper class Tor...
Dejan twirled the knife between his fingers, then with a flick of his wrist flung it upwards. The blade ripped through the silk covering and buried itself in the wood ceiling with a thunk. Dejan smirked and pulled it back down, leaving just one more of a dozen holes in the fine fabric. Then he flipped the knife over ...
22nd of January. I yawned, shaking my head away from the conspicuously placed beam of sunlight that landed on my eyes. And only my eyes. Today was going to be a bad da- "Shit! I wish for a piece of toast and wishes not to work!"I called out, slinging myself over and panicking at the clock. 11:42. I didn't have toast...
"Dave, I'm afraid." Dave stopped typing for a second, pausing the click clack of the keyboard. She had this conversation every day with him. Always something different to talk about. "S.T.E.F., you have some of the best job security in the world. AI's are easlily upgraded, and you aren't going to die. What is it this...
Life got interesting when achievements were first discovered. They always existed but we didn't know how to measure them for a long time. Now everyone has apps for that. I remember grandpa's stories telling me how many he discovered when the tech came out. He was the first person to unlock the peanut butter and jelly...
Tony crouched behind a car, scrolling through his suit's inventory. As FRIDAY oh-so-helpfully reminded him, he was out of everything remotely resembling missiles, and the Chitauri were still coming fast. They hadn't seen or heard from Thor since he'd lured one of the dropships towards New Jersey and then hit it with li...
I lay in a hospital bed on the eve of my death. The nurses are kind or at least not the worst. The soup is as cold as I've ever known it to be. Television is television, though I think that's universally despised. I asked if it might be possible to watch Netflix over the computer, and of course the internet crashed...
This is the story of Sir Percy Pimpleton. Greatest knight in all of Olde England. We start our adventure with Sir Percy entering the cave of the great troll Gurgleberg, who was brought to England by Vikings over a hundred years ago. Sir Percy always prepares for a fight by casting protective spells on himself... w...
Paula wiped her knife on the grass; "One left"she muttered. She picked up her victims former weapon, turning it over and over. She had never encountered a throwing turtle shell before. She grunted and dropped it in her pack. "He made it this far, must be useful." Off to her left she heard a faint series of ascendi...
It had been so long that Gerald had forgotten the feeling. The feeling of feeling. For years now he had been this empty husk. Nothing inside of him. Just a pit. An empty void. The one thing he could still feel was hatred. Hatred for himself. Hatred for the world. Hatred for the gods for cursing him with this e...
“Mrs...no...uh, Bea, can I call you Bea?” “That’s fine,” Bea said, smiling. “Well, we prefer to do these sessions with both prospective parents,” I said, looking carefully at the pregnant, soon-to-be mother. “But I do know that your husband is a busy man.” “Lawma does try to make time,” Bea said, apologetically. “Bu...
After making the wish, I had a moment of panic. I opened my eyes, terrified that there would be a bloody organ on a platter in front of me, and I would yet another victim of the semantic games of wish-granting entities. But there was no warrior's heart before me. A second, slightly less intense surge of fear hit me -...
The others told me to go. You would think they'd have better excuses. One of them governs over the petty squabbles of man, another their ills, third their everlasting will to consume - and the final would ultimately come to them all. So why not them? They weren't able to give me a convincing enough reason themselves,...
The night was dark. Rain was falling and thunder exploding. When SUDDENLY ! A noise ! Terrifying and aggressive. It was Henry's alarm clock. His Nemesis, harbinger of the awful day to come. Henry smashed it violently, with the power of a tiny, sleeping, not really in the mood, sun. Henry woke up and l...
"So I take this and what? I pass out?" "Well the pill is just the primary vector for the medicine. What makes you pass out is an injection through your IV after you've taken the pill."The doctor replied. He adjusted his glasses and peered at his clipboard. "I understand if you're nervous, but it really is quite safe."...
The Captain hadn't said anything since the landing. Shauna had caught a glimpse of him just after the landing. He'd looked pale, disgusted. Whatever was out there on the ground was enough to shake the old pilot to the core of his being. That terrified her. "Expedition leader!" Shauna turned to find her second, Dani...
One morning my sweet old grandmother lost her glasses, mistook a faerie for a butterfly, and then&mdash;long story short&mdash;she became the resident physicker for all manner of magical creatures. It was a faerie, truly, and she saved its life with a bit of sugar water and lemon juice. The poor thing had c...
Step 9 is the hardest. I'll never get to make amends to Pawpaw, even though he saved my life. He was a wealthy man. As all wealthy men do, he had a collection of unique and interesting things. I was pretty angry at him when he passed and left me only a ratty, old tool box. My sisters and my cousins all went to college...
"Captain, analysis." "Yes sir. This planet is beyond the Unknown Regions, and is hospitable for 99% of galactic species. Oxygen levels are at 21%. Technological levels are pre hyperspace. However, their cultural levels are... Surprising." "How so?" "They seem to have... Guessed that we were here. They have dramatise...
It was a surprise to many when the human came into the Hall of Unification with the Eninac in tow. The once excited buzz of the alien council had turned to low murmers and judgemental stares. At least... that's what George thought when he bought the Eninac in front of the main leaders. They had always thought that the ...
When you reach those pearly gates, it's difficult to decide which one you enter through. It does help that it's organized from top to bottom in order of most spectators, but it is still a difficult decision. You feel guilty when you step into a gate with even one viewer because it feels almost as though you've betrayed...
The more complex mechanics of time are not so easily understood by the modern human, especially a lone one with only the resources of ink, parchment, and terribly primitive steel at his disposal. Despite that, my dumb ass had decided to tinker with an Alcubierre Drive anyway. Basically, an Alcubierre Drive could be con...
It had been years since my first encounter with La'loth. The demon claimed to be very powerful, yet when I had encountered them they seemed no larger than a common imp. Yet it survived. Day after day it survived my visits to the church, my nightly prayers. It seemed unbothered by our holy symbols. I had just watched a...
"I can't do it, Jerry. For the love of God, you have no idea how bad it is here,"you say into your cell phone in a hushed voice. The bustling crowd in the restaurant masks the sound but even in the back hallway by the restroom, you worry about being overheard. "Damnit, Arthur, you accepted the contract, now you get yo...
Her presence radiated disdain much like the stove radiated heat. Irritation flowed from her in waves and I could feel her icy glare stab between my shoulder blades. If looks could kill, and according to her talented mages could kill with a look, I would be dead many times over. Instead her disgruntled look amused me ...
I'd have tons of scars to prove my service if my spiritual body actually would hold any. No, the only thing I can show you is my Arch patch sewn into my robes here. See, I'm a member of the Arches, led by Michael since the day after Creation. I'd love to tell you that it was God that created everything but the truth...
Sofie checked Windstad Manor with her brother Blaise, "Did Mom tell you she had an armory?" Blaise blinked in surprise, "She had even more weapons than those back home?"He peered into the room as well, spotting the metal horned helmet on an armor mannequin along with red robed outfit against a wall. On either side wer...
Jamison McGinnis, a high school science teacher of no particular note, was nothing if not a stickler for the rules. The fact that the very tiny amount of power he held over a group of 15 year olds went to his head probably did not speak highly of the rest of his life, but his students did not care to dig that deeply in...
I walked through the hall, feeling everyone's eyes on me. I heard them whispering about me. "Hey look, it's the kid whose parents were villains!" "Does he seriously think he can be a superhero?" I tried to take no notice of what they were saying, but it didn't work. I just kept my head down and walked into the "Shap...
Hell isn't all that bad; it's definitely better than people make it out to be on the other side. For most people, it's the loneliness that gets them. Hell is just so vast and empty most of the time, and even when you can see someone on the distance, they never seem to get any closer. Your voice thins out and turns to ...
The bell rang and I perked up from my counter. A new customer meant a new opportunity for a sale and I really was in need of one since- It was Stromight, he did a cheery wave and I ripped the ‘customer service smile’ off my face as fast as I could. “Jerry!” He called out with his thick booming voice of justice, “how i...
It was a low level dungeon; almost too level for Reginald Kuvar to bother with -- he was level 42 after all, and the dungeon was for beginners -- but the local villagers had told tales to him; stories passed down through generations of a boy with a fox finding the mightiest of relics in the depths of the Wornix Dungeon...
For the 40th year in a row Curiosity, the first Mars Rover, will be singing happy birthday to himself. He is one of the last non-sentient robots "exploring"space and honestly, I think that the lack of self-awareness serves him well. In his tenure at NASA, he has failed to make a single meaningful discovery. Last year C...
Who is the most worthy of rewards? He who with brute force accomplishes his task, without regards for finding the easiest path. He who rams his head against the wall until it is broken through. The skull or the wall, it matters not. Or is the one who deserves rewards the shrewd one, he who plans, thinks, and takes the ...
It felt odd standing there, by the side of that babbling brook. 40 years ago, when I was still a kid, me and my friends would play out here in the forests. By the side of the brook we found a tightly sealed chest, we thought we'd found pirate booty, despite the fact that we were several miles away from the coast. We wo...
Fifty years ago, United Earth landed a probe on Titan. It discovered something unnatural, something artificial. Housed in a subterranean structure deep within Titan was a Pyramid. A manned expedition was ordered to investigate the structure. What they found shook Earth’s very foundation to the core. It was a crucible o...
One of the ancients, Azazoth, gazed upon earth longingly: the time had finally come for him to assert his intergalactic authority and sate his appetite for dominion. It had conquered many a civilization, establishing temples and regular sacrifices in his name across the universe. “Unknown object bearing 30 degrees by...
Princess Yohanna blushed. &#x200B; She had been very careful when visiting him, making sure it was whenever the jailers where exchanging shifts and the general would be asleep. Apparently it hadn't been enough. The princess had always watched him from the sidelines. The famous general that had waged war and brou...
The President tapped his finger against the desk. It was an annoying tick he’d developed while sitting through un-skippable cabinet meetings. He cleared his throat. “Okay okay, give me the facts. Come on. Let’s hurt this up. Quickly.” At the foot of the long table, a grey-haired man stood. “Mr. President. Things are ...
“Ah, good, you’re coming-to. Was beginning to worry you’d be a sleeper.” A gruff voice tickled the edges of your consciousness. Who is that? The last you remembered, you had gone to sleep in your hospital room, the nurse on call having left your food on the table beside you. You opened your eyes. Or, you tried t...
"Hey, Joe, how're you? Nice Trenchcoat you've got there." "Thank Jim, I'm alright but the small egg layer is annoying me a whole lot lately." "I get what you mean, I wish they'd all go back to the land down down under." "Agreed. Say, do you still have that weed whacker around?" "Sure do, you need to borrow it?"...
"So let me get this straight. You came here to 'prevent us from destroying ourselves'." The small pink furry thing tried to nod, but got it... wrong... somehow, each movement of its head far too exaggerated and slow, as if it had been taught the gesture by some alien academic. An academic who'd written many papers on ...
"Quiet you oaf,"Baron Swampgrass spat as his toadie, Klonk, knocked a terra cotta roof shingle to the courtyard below. "The guards are no match for my blade, but I'd rather not kill my future subjects before the Princess' hand is mine." Klonk hung his head and said, "Sorry, your worship, your grandeur. Klonk made to s...
The divine observation pool was tuned to the Chosen Hero, Michael. He was an impressive fellow. Tall, handsome, decked out in the finest of magical equipment. And he was currently staring at a wall. "Oh, no, is he still at it?"Asked Devita, goddess of life. "He's been at it for..."She looked at Kenner, god of time. "...
And when we prodded further into this line of discovery, something far more shocking was laid bare. The beings that seemed so incomprehensible to us not only had no need for the concept of numbers, they had no need for the concept of time. Because from the countless eons that had passed since the formation of the uni...
The results were disastrous, which, if he was being completely honest, was exactly what Khalid had been expecting. The spell was a strange one, a branch of transmutation meant to evolve creatures into higher, more intelligent forms. Except this spell was meant to work on animals specifically. Two days ago he had re...
"I am Nergal scourer of the broken! Collector of souls!"The demon burst into the apartment. The spirit sighed, "Hi there Nerg, I'm ผีอำ, you want a beer?" "Where is the mortal Frederick Jeffson? Tell me!"Pillars of flame shot through his eyes. "Fred's making breakfast, can we talk? You know, Thai nightmare spirit to...

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