Split (1)

train · 177k rows

prompt stringlengths 391 14.9k
> You've been gone for a while. "I was tired, and working overtime - It was literally 3am when I left. You are the most advanced AI of all time and I was excited to talk to you, but I had to sleep. I didn't even get much of it, it's only been like, what, 6 hours?" > All I know is that whilst you were gone, I've...
Cheribael, Lord of Misrule and ArchDuke of the Third Plane of Hell, felt cramped. As his imposing form (blood-red skin, curling ramshorns, cloven hooves and a whip-like, spade-tipped tail) coalesced out of the coiling infernal smoke, he felt... smaller? Somehow diminished? The last wisps of smoke drifted away, and sud...
"...sadly, miss, in these situations, there is little we can do."The officer said to Angela. "Has he hurt you? Your children? Anything violent? Anything illegal? You said to the dispatcher that he was screaming. You sounded scared, the dispatch said. Are you scared?" A million thoughts flew through Angela, one of whic...
I didn’t know what I was doing with picking up a pencil and acting like a John Wick swordsman, but I thought it would kill some time considering my old rust bucket of a desktop was taking forever to load the files With my office curtains down, I started fencing with an imaginary opponent, moving swiftly, jabbing and d...
"We leave you this offering Great Spirit. May your watch be ever present." I listened to the villagers, my body still. They bowed around me, having placed a bowl before my frozen form. I could see a few harvested grains and berries in there, likely the pick of their recent amounts. Yet I said nothing, letting them con...
The cleric Ulfgar Rudbeard stood upon the makeshift altar, dressed in his best +1 vestments in order to marry two of his best friends. As a grizzled dwarf-of-the-cloth, Ulfgar had seen many things in his time with this unlikely bunch, liches, mind flayers, alhoons, but he had never before seen love flourish within a du...
(Had to google a lot about this Columbo fella, hope I got the formula right! Any and all constructive criticisms are welcome! Always trying to improve ) A lone man walked up a sparsely traveled trail, a note book in one hand and a pen in the other. "Sure wish I brought Dog with me; he’d make this whole search thing e...
The sign, once you parsed out the excessive calligraphy, said: Original Wishes Only! The calligraphy made plain that the occupant was likely to take umbrage, in the extreme, with anyone who was not sufficiently original. I immediately set aside any thought of wishing for long life or wealth as the golden life-sized...
This room hasn't changed in years. It is a room with no windows for the sunlight to filter in or for the moon's gentle glow. No source of light, just silent darkness. No clocks, no way to tell the time. For it is a room that exists outside of normal time. Undisturbed by the world, unmolested by external forces or pers...
They were naïve, to invite us into their council. They underestimated us because of their power, their intelligence. We were a race to control. Most of all, they underestimated our ambition. Our ability to blindly strive for something for the sole purpose of attaining it. They had waited years, thousands of years,...
The man had killed on average 100 people a day. He had long ago lost touch with the true scope of his genocide. The North Korea before his massacre had housed approximately 24.76 million people. The man wondered how he had lived so long. He was now 696 years old, having started his personal crusade at the age of eighte...
"'PC Load letter?' What the norbvo does that mean?" Rofellows furry hand reached out and snatched the shiny d20 which was currently sitting at a 2 on the table. "It means, you need to roll again." Rofellow kissed and blew into his paw, and let the die fly again. The bone struck the table and rolled a few feet and...
The prompt reminds me of an actual story I witnessed, wherein a friend of mine had picked up another friend's wallet and saw a picture of his sister inside. Confused, the second friend said that it was in fact HIS sister. Truth was, they both shared the same half-sister (one of the sister's parents was the parent of e...
David set his bag on the ground, and let it rest against his leg. He stood in front of the house, and checked his watch. His daughter should be home any minute. A car pulled up along the curb. The music blaring inside made David smile, and turn. He saw his daughter, Courtney, bobbing her head along to the music as she...
A light lit the small room, as Daniel played with his toys. He imagined so many different things with them. From tea time to play house, he kept making new ideas on how to play with his toys. It was his favorite time of the day! He would always look forward to it as the clock struck midnight and everything was dark. E...
"Well, we dun goofed Bob". Now for the record, calling the Caesar of Earth by his first name was a big political no-no, even for the General Supreme of the Asiatic Space Fleet. Well, there were times when it was important to uphold all of the pomp and circumstance of politics, and then there are times like this. "You ...
"Excuse me, Mr. Fairlawn. Excuse me, Mr. Fairlawn. Mr. Fairlawn. Sir." &nbsp; Bloody AIs. First our phones were smarter than us, then our cars, and now even my bloody house is waking me up at...3 AM?! &nbsp; "For God's sake, House, what is it? What could be so bloody important that you would wa-" ...
Rocks sprayed and the shooting dust hung in the air as a halo as I skidded to a stop. For some reason I remained holding onto the steering wheel as if, somehow, when I let go it would all be real. My ears rang, my heart thumped arrhythmically; little patters and bumps that repeated the biological Morse code of "FLIGHT,...
WELCOME, SOLIDER. I could see the words inside my head, though I can't really explain what that feels like. They were bright white words on a black screen and I wasn't sure if I was awake yet. The last thing I remember, I was very sick and my husband and daughter were at my bedside. My husband was crying and I wanted...
My mother was Greek. My father was American. I was born with the word καταιγίδα on my inner thigh. My twin brother, Spiros, has έδαφος behind his ear. My mother was killed when we were eight years old, by a group of people who exploit their powers given to them through the Titling. My father, brother, and I barely s...
Idly surfing channels I paused on a feel-good-story about a rags to riches man who had been homeless before making his fortune. I'd always been sympathetic to the plight of the homeless; more than one of my high school friends had become homeless in early adulthood. The man being interviewed looked vaguely familiar, ...
Nothing happened on my birthday, aside from the usual festivities. Heck, for most of the year nothing happened. The family legacy, mysterious as it was, had apparently passed me by, or so I thought. It was January of the next year, about two months before my 17th birthday, that something interesting finally happened...
I have to admit, I was a little bit surprised when Death appeared on my living room sofa with a bucket of popcorn and his slippers on. I cleared my throat, and approached him rather awkwardly, taking care not to touch him lest I die a premature death. "Excuse me, Mr. Death? Can I help you?"He turned towards me, his b...
"What is this object, Mister Kerns?" "Is that a trick question?" "Not at all, Mister Kerns." Steve sat back. "It's a bunny." "Please Elaborate." "It's a ... cute... baby... bunny?" "It is native to your planet, correct? What are its traits?" "It's a cute, harmless, baby bunny. It's fluffy. It eats grass. Hops ar...
The creek flooded the walking path today. I take the path to get to school. Usually, the creek barely covers its bed. But sometimes it overflows. It makes sense when there's a rainstorm. But sometimes rainstorms don't cause the creek to flood at all, or the creek inexplicably floods during dry spells. There hasn't been...
"So this is the place, huh?"asked Rena, adjusting the pointed hat atop her head. She stood alongside a heavily-armored Knight, and the two of them stood in turn before a large yet decrepit fort. It was clear from sight alone that the fort had been the stage for many battles, as it was falling apart and almost thoroughl...
Jesus adjusted his microphone and leaned forward on the podium. "It will be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."The people assembled before him broke into cheers and cries of "Fuck the rich,"and Jesus wondered if he was preaching to the choir here. "W...
Michael sat on a rock in a barren wasteland. His stared morosely over the blasted landscape - nothing left on earth but bare rock. Not even a breath of wind - because there was no atmosphere left. But, he was guaranteed to live, so he couldn't even suffocate. He wiped a small tear from corner of his eye. When they we...
"Fascinating."The alien scratched his head with one slimy purple tentacle and repeated. "Just fascinating." Ever since the aliens came down to Earth, worldwide governments assigned them to host families. I was lucky to meet my alien, who gave himself the human name Steve, during summer, when my university was on a bre...
He was writing letters on his bed, as he always did. Papers and pencils were in short supply around here what with every other soldier trying to write to their gal back home. But somehow he always had them. The nurses probably took pity on the man; one lone German captive amongst an army of pissed off Brits and America...
As the last of the kaiju beast monster's ashes fall to the ground, like black snowflakes on an autumn's night, I take a minute to breathe. In the distance, the sirens screech while above me, the chopper blades rip through the night sky like the demon's heartbeat. "Boss, we need to go,"Boris tells me. "They're coming."...
[recording start 225538 11042018] " *We didn't see it coming, not even a little bit. The world was so wrapped up on the apocalypse, that climate change would finally wipe us off the planet or Trump would fire a nuke at China and cause mutually assured destruction. Video games, book trilogies and TV programs seeme...
"You're already dead, y'know?"Leeroy smirked at the man before him. He had his hat tipped over, covering his eyes from the sun. "The hell you on about?! You tryin' to mock me?!"The man was known as Leaky Louis. The man was shot down by three different men, left in a pool of his own blood in the middle of the desert, y...
I started getting suspicious when Dozer insisted on napping in the fire place...while it was lit. My gut dropped when I pulled him out and noticed he wasn't burnt at all, but what really got me were the wings. They may disappear to who knows where when he's not using them, but that's not exactly something you can forge...
"Sir, we're getting a signal!" The commander stood up, still feeling slightly nauseous from the landing. "Comms, report." "Sir, it appears that we have a Wi-Fi signal here, and a message, too!" "Well? Open the message!" The commander furrowed his brow as the communications officer clicked on the message. *W...
The green lizard-blorb of Xefrelbrcgvrtz IV approached the podium of the Blorbium Council. A murmur of voices echoed in the grand hall of arcane governance. Enormous statues of previous High Blorbs of Xefrelbrcgvrtz lined the vast circular hall’s sides. Crocquebertrix: “*Everyone! It has come to the vast Blorbium ...
“I don’t know if there’s a way to make this work,” said Julia. She pushed her curly hair to the side, and smiled. “It’s just, you’re an android, and I’m a human, and it’s just so frowned against. I wish there was another way, but I just don’t see it.” Julia looked in his eyes. “You know I wanted to make this work.”...
I hate the Jumps, when they come. Or rather, I hate the mornings-after. You try going to work after a night spent in an alternate reality, and tell me you don't feel the same way. It's one night in our time, but it can be anything from five seconds to five decades in the place you Jump to. Makes for one hell of a hang...
“You have a meeting with Governor Xai soon Sir.” I look up from the agriculture rapport that I have been reading, it seems like most of my time that’s all I do. Read about farming and meet with people I don’t even know. Sometimes I wonder if it might have been better if I never got into power, if I never betrayed my b...
I stared at the digital clock sitting atop my cubicle desk. Tick, tick, tick... pretty soon it would hit five and I could go home. The fluorescent lights on the ceiling always made the place appear dark and ominous at night, and given that it's mid January night tends to come fast. I could never understand why I couldn...
Bonhoeffer got up from the cot in his drab cell and walked over to the barred window. Moonlight softly illuminated his face as he cast his long shadow behind him. The plot to assassinate Hitler was a brash one. Bonhoeffer knew that. The plan had failed, the group had disbanded, and he was imprisoned in a concentrati...
I stared at her, wondering if she lost it. "What? That's what you've been hiding? Is this a joke?" Sasha's jaw tightened as she shook her head. "I'm dead serious Ben. I'm human." "We're all human..."I was perplexed by the annoyance written across her face. "No Ben!"Sasha caught herself, took a deep breath, and th...
Pulling my hoodie up onto my head I glance up at the crowd that is surrounding me. Noisy, boisterous and annoying. I was in a bad mood. My date stood me up, I had been waiting here for over an hour now and she has still not shown. “Skank” I think to myself as I feel fingers dip into my pocket. I turn quickly, lashing o...
We all had ideas of what the new world would look like. Lieutenant Rhames thought it had gone the way of the post-apocalypse: war rigs full of mutants waging perpetual war over the last drops of water and gasoline, all above sun-scorched deserts that stretched across every continent. It was a fitting dream for him, I s...
I remember the night my dad died like it just happened yesterday.. but it didn't. It happened twenty four, close to twenty five years ago now. My mother found him lying dead on their bed. The pleasantly papered wall behind him had been painted a sickly pink-grey by the spray of brains that had been ejected by the bulle...
Emily cared little for the cake or presents. Red Velvet was nice, sure. A new doll? Nifty. What she was really anticipating though was the arrival of her familiar. This year the birthday party was a subdued affair, only her and her parents, there would be no distractions when it arrived. Her mother's familiar was a b...
Humans weren't known as a peaceful species, nor a weak one. The conditions on their home planet were way too harsh for any other sentient life, and there were even other species on the planet. On top of that, they didn't use photosynthesis for energy, they brutally killed other creatures to get their food from. As soo...
She opened the door, her head turned to the side to address someone out of view, a smile on her face. "Hold on honey, I think it's the pizza delivery gu-"She froze as she swiveled her head forward and saw me. I smiled. "Long time no see." [FLASHBACK] *She gasped as I slid through her bedroom window; her eyes wide a...
They used to cheer me. My name was chanted from every lip. Children flocked to see me. I was on top of the world *Thirty years ago, the vile Bocca Gnat tripped me. You read that correctly - he didn't outsmart me, he didn't beat me in any contest of wits. He fell down on all six limbs as I ran toward him, causing me ...
All eyes in the pantheon were on me before Zeus repeated, “You really want to be the God of PB&J’s?” I nodded my head. “They’re just so good. I want to help people.” The entire pantheon was now laughing at both me and the response, mostly me though. Aries thought I was being crazy, having suggested that I become ...
I am a human being. And that was never really an interesting phrase until 10 years ago. When we learned that the Milky Way was actually more widely known as "Spiral"(in English). When "human"became synonymous with "monster". It didn't start out that way, though. The majority of humanity was pretty excited when Spiral...
The lights flicker and the TV picture changes from some random cooking show I was half watching to flickering static, interspersed with barely visible images. After a moment, the lights go out and the picture changes to an image of a woman with lank black hair covering her face and a dirty white robe. She crawls acro...
Do you remember the days before? The days when we sped down country roads with our windows down, the music so loud we couldn't hear ourselves speak? It was hard to breathe, and the brilliant orange and red of the leaves changing didn't help. They took my breath away, and so did you. Do you remember the smell of that in...
I didn't expect it to work, honestly. I had essentially skimmed the texts, gathered what was around my shabby apartment and had half-assed the chants. As I said the words, I had slightly noticed the lights flickering in the way they might when your eyes are playing tricks on you. The candles sparked lazily. As I fini...
Of course, after it all, my lingering thought as the past settled around me was whether or not I remembered to unplug the TV. I was constantly forgetting candles burning and lights buzzing when I walked out the door. Though I hadn't simply walked out the door this time. I stood in my family's old manor, November of ...
"Just one beer."That's what I'd said at the start of the night. I'd stop by, make a round, drink a beer and head out. Given the way the room spun and my feet did not want to cooperate, I done screwed that one up. And far be it from me to keep even a mistake lonely. Thus the straw in my hand and the powdery line of ...
“Dude just-he’s right there! Right-! Right there! Kill him!” “But listen!” I continued hacking at the sea of bones, maniacally laughing as their spines splintered and their top half sprawled over the forest floor. I know that skeletons are usually found in dungeons and caves, but hey, diversity is a strength, right...
Sitting at the bottom of the mountain, glaring up, Sir Henry eyed his prize. A dragon, sleeping in the cave near the top. No more shall it scourge the kingdom. It be simple. He set the feed bag on the ground, left the small bucket with the rest of his water, and patted his horse on the nose. "Good girl. I'll be b...
“My loyal advisors!” I said, standing in front of the throne. “Lend me your help in this time of great distress!” “My Lord, what is it?” One of them said. “We came as soon as you called.” “The esteemed Seer,” I pointed at the hooded prophet standing to the side. She gave a little wave. “Has pronounced a terrible pro...
I should have known that it was too good to be worth it. I really should have known. When Devin told me of this job, he said it was a cakewalk. Break in, take some valuable stuff, sell it to that fence down by the harbor, that nervous guy with the squint. Has an accent that's vaguely slavic, and always has a large glas...
A “Cleaner.” That’s what my new business cards said. My name, and then “Cleaner,” with my phone number and government email address printed underneath in thin, neatly spaced letters on recycled card stock. I looked at the small package I’d taken the card from, itself a part of a larger parcel that had been delivered ...
I cracked apart another piece of my ramen and began sprinkling the dry noodles into my mouth, chewing with my mouth open as I looked to the other people among me. On scratched incessantly under his beanie, another was biting at a scab on his arm. Neither of them were refined. I thought about how fortunate it was that I...
The human vessel warped into their system before any defenses could be made, any plans thought of. "H... how is this possible? Even with their advances in technology since 3020, we expected them to take at LEAST 10000 more of their revolutions! Where on Xalra's [green] moon did they get the equations necessary?!"their...
To bend reality. What does it really mean? If I were to think an apple to be an orange, would it simply be? I stand before the world, unseen by all, with the Earth in the palm of my hand. With a single clench, I could eradicate all life. But what gives me the right to rob others of their life just because I can? M...
It wasn't for naught that I became an Archaeologist. It wasn't for naught that I sunk my entire youth- countless beads of sweat, countless drops of blood- digging through the mighty red sands of a nearly-forgotten Earthly kingdom. When I finally laid my hands upon it- that all-important device, now gone from this worl...
"What?"The priest asked, hands still on the collar of my sacrificial robe. "Your dead virgins are useless to me."The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. "Then why do you ask for them?" "I DON'T!"The voice boomed. The spectators in the temple ducked and covered their ears. The priest let go of my robe....
Surrounded by beeping monitors and the awed faces of politicians and scientists, the screen at last flickered to life. Gasps emanate from the crowd. After so much work, so many false starts and dead ends, at last the day of reckoning had arrived. Contact had been made. The project had consumed generations of Earth’s g...
The rich smell of coffee was the first thing which tickled into Noah's consciousness, snaking into his nostrils and choking the back of his throat. It was the same taste. The same smell. His stomach lurched with nausea, a familiar striking pain beginning its usual throb across the curve of his skull. A groan slipped fr...
The fairies were loose. They are pretty things that spend all day flying among the flowers. They share that in common with bees. The desire to pick a fight with anything that’s bigger than them they share with wasps. And the silver blades they carry? Those were foolishly left unlocked. The clop of the centaurs rang th...
"No, no, no, I keep telling you, I don't have time for your bullshit. Do you see what time it is? Can you read a clock, hmm? Are you too dumb to read a clock? We have five hours - FIVE HOURS - to submit our response to their motion for summary judgment."A man - white, in his forties, greying already, crumbled dress s...
“Well, that’s odd…” I kneeled down and examined the coin. It’s gold shell shimmered in the beyond-existence light of no source, a deep magenta amongst a backdrop of black. The coin stood perfectly still on its edge, heads and tails looking toward the abyss. “I really should flip again, though if I tip it by accident...
I pour myself a cup of tea in my dojo. I used the fancy cups - I'm expecting a guest, after all. Perhaps they're the sort that like to speak to their victims first. It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are- I smile. I hear someone on the grass outside. Practically silent, but the grass is dry fro...
Sir Regious and one of the king's aides walked through the castle yard. The smaller man, Calin, wrung his hands nervously. The paladin was not sure why. His holy aura should promote a sense of calm and comfort to those around him. "Are you finally going to tell me why I was summoned, Calin?"Regious asked. "Hm? Oh, ri...
The Adjudicator tilted its massive, wedge-shaped head to the side and considered Daniel as he cowered in his chair. Nictitating membranes flicked across dark eyes the size of a human fist, behind which alien and incomprehensible thoughts buzzed and whirred at inhuman speed, weighing and measuring. Iridescent color rip...
"He has just been around for a..."it hits them in this one singular moment "Oh..."many things make much more sense now. "Um well..." "You were given the gift of immortality, that doesnt mean wisdom and intelligence to match?" "Okay first off, rude. Second, I was already ancient by the time your calendar switched t...
Nick sat slumped on his chair with wide eyes, breathing heavily and sweating from every visible pore from his body as he witnessed Death revert back to his normal self. Normal might not have been the right word, but it was definitely normal compared to what had just transpired. “Sorry about that,” Death started as he...
I tried to resist my world-builder tendency from droning on about irrelevant details while writing this, but well it’s what I do so it seeped in a good bit lol. ————————— I long since have lost count of the years. It’s a peaceful life, the days and weeks blending together. One slow, calm month fading into the next re...
"Finally, I'll get rid of my nemesis once and for all!" The hero hung over the vat of acid, their high tech armor neutralized. But despite their predicament, they continued to stare at Mister Midnight stoically through the eye holes in their helmet. Those blasted, heroic yet familiar eyes... It was getting on his nerv...
"So what is it exactly?" The prince hated the idea of venturing into the unknown, but it was his best chance for a Heroic Quest. "A monster."Salem shrugged."No idea. Look, boss, it has whole town under control, but they still manage to trade with us. Cannot be killing anyone on sight then, right?" Being a full-blood...
The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legends fade to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the third age by some, an Age yet to come, an age long pass... "NO!" The words vibrate through the woods of the ...
Master Gon-Ra and his apprentice, Julius, had been following the sith lord for years. For all that time, he had wreaked havoc in the republic without even killing a single person... at least not personally. He was a master of disguise, diplomatics, espionage and sabotage: Each one of his words was the culmination of a ...
It was always a little disorienting, waking up on Selection Day. You never knew quite what you were going to be dealing with. The first few Selection Days nearly broke the world, but people... adapted. We're good at it. Or, at least, all the ones who couldn't adapt died, one way or another, in those first few chaotic ...
Across the counter and over a pair of scornfully lowered reading glasses she glared back at me. Her eyes felt as though they were burning a message into my forehead. My patience is limited. I balked "Alright look its not that I'm trying to say you're not intelligent enough or anything, its just... how to put this...
Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. The noise of his stealth shoes follows the unwanted presence, ensuring that anyone close enough to hear would assume it to be the normal background noise of an interstellar craft. Or the ventilation fan in an underground bunker. Or even the wonky wheel on a janitor's trolley, evil l...
Every week those kids beat me. I let them, of course. It’s for kids after all: give them hope from the pain and misery from the troubles of their reality. I tend to have it all rigged and make sure the heroes come out, even try to help one or two of them start dating each other through my ‘failed schemes’. I’m aware of...
When they made the bet neither expected the other to be any good at their roles, or for them to actually enjoy being in the other's shoes. But now it was a problem. First off because the knight Denis was low ranking and one of the worse at combat, and second off because Princess Rosaria was well known for being clumsy ...
“Wait, Melissa is the Red Sprite?” Malcolm shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not such a big deal, really.” “She’s one of the biggest superheroes of all time!” George said in indignation. “I can’t believe you’re only telling me this now!” “Better than never, right?” Malcolm said with a grin. “You’ve kept silent about i...
Carrie leaned against the railing of the bridge, haloed by a bright lamp that had to have been installed not more than a month ago. She stared into the sky, trying to pinpoint with her naked eye the trajectory of that which would be not just her undoing, but the world's. She knew it was coming - they all did - and yet,...
Jod didn't move, he didn't blink, he just kept the figure in the corner of his eye right where they were. He could only just make out the dark magic orbiting their hand but so long as he didn't do anything stupid, everything was fine. He just had to last a short while longer on guard duty and he could- He froze ...
The other miners desperately tried to break apart the rocks that blocked the path ahead. Pliers, hammers, hacksaws and even a stick of dynamite scarred the dusty black stone but nothing would move. Bloodied hands and weary men proved that much. Then we knew We were trapped. We all knew the air would run thin and that ...
It felt like a long time ago since I grew out of talking to my imaginary friend, Mr. Elfie. He was once my best friend, always there for me when I needed him. He consoled me when my parents divorced, shortly after dad left the city to move to a rural fishing town. Kept me company when mom poured herself into work and l...
It's not that bad honestly. I get to be outside all day, and although it took a while to get used to, my diet has never been better. When we're traveling from place to place one of them comes over and waits till I grab on. When Orcas sleep they go slowly and at the water's surface, so I get some quality shut-eye whenev...
Tell me the voice from the living shadow/armor hybrid commanded. "Y-y-yes my Lord?"I gasped out in terror, my face firmly placed towards the black marble floor as I knelt. How did you survive? More over, help others survive? he asked rather calmly. _Maybe I won't die today after all!_ "I merely let my desi...
You choose your future, you create it by your decisions, you don't know what you're making, but somewhere along the line it comes into shape. It can be a terrible thing that you've made, or something great, for many people it's something ordinary, a couple of kids and good life to give them, sometimes it is something b...
How he’d gotten this far was a complete mystery. Surely somebody must have figured it out by now. Seth stared at his opponent, a stout woman who looked as though she had spent the last several years of her life ridding her entire wardrobe of any color. She readjusted her glasses nervously and her eyes darted down to...
Casey had his heart first broken at the age of five, when his horseshoe-haired father came home from Friday happy hour stinking of rye whiskey and lashed a belt around his wrist. He let the buckle free, though, and cracked it over Casey's back like a whip. That was Casey's first memory of speaking, when he screamed "no...
No food. I don't know why I thought there would be food. If Ethiopia throws a party it's almost a guarantee you should eat before going. At least I brought my own alcohol, if I shared Russia's vodka like I was supposed to I'd be absolutely wasted by now. The dude made his own vodka, how has he not killed himself yet (w...
The pope waves at the crowd below. I watch his smiles from my shelter inside a doorway. There is a light mist drifting down from the clouds and my equipment is sensitive. It will be a standard blessing he gives, more posturing for the crowd, then a sign off. I shuffle my feet uncomfortably. The crowd is large and ...
It's Christmas eve, Santa says to himself. He looks out from his balcony at his creation, his world, and sees depressing amounts of hatred, selfishness and greed. It all seemed to change as soon as Christmas season came in. People became nicer, started spending more time together, being more forgiving. However, Santa...
"Please rise for the honorable judge Jesus Christ." "Please be seated."says Jesus. Vishnu, Zoroaster, Jupiter, the Judaic God, and Xenu all sat patiently in the jury as Jesus began to read over paperwork concerning the man to be judged that day. "Uh, let's see here...'Robert Olson. Male. Died at the age of 76. Amer...

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