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And how is our lovely Marge? | She, uh, was killed by a falling air conditioner. |
Oh, why that's terrible! | It wasn't all bad. As part of the settlement, her funeral was air conditioned. |
Oh, why that's terrible! | Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use the outhouse again. |
What am I supposed to do, bury them at Arlington? | Marge? |
Homer? | These are for you. |
Ooo. | Listen, I thought about what I did. And it was really, really wrong. I'm sorry. |
Homie, I accept your apology. | I love you, Marge. |
But I'm not coming back yet. | Wha...?! |
I've found a place where I'm needed. | You're needed at home! |
I've found a place where I'm needed. | You're needed at home! |
I'm sorry, Homie. I just can't find it in my heart to come back right now. | Well, that's very reasonable. |
I'm sorry, Homie. I just can't find it in my heart to come back right now. | You stole my wife! I'll kill you! |
Something a strong, passionate woman like her needs: a purpose. | Wow. I can see why she loves you. |
She doesn't love me. She's just trying to find herself. | You know everything. |
I don't know everything. I'm just a man. | And what a man! |
Saving! | Okay. To save the manatees, I guess I could donate my time and money and help them build a... eh, screw that. |
Aw man, I just wish we could see their tears. | Why don't you pick on someone your own size? |
In fact, they're bigger than us. | Look, if it were up to me, I'd be harassing them with you. If anything, I'd be the guy who took it too far. But I love my wife and I want to win her back! |
You're a brave man. And we respect two things: bravery and tattoos that look like barbed wire. Let's go. | Rubes. |
What did you call us? | Catch me if you can! |
What did you call us? | Manatees -- defend! |
Homer, are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up? | Poor dumb country mouse. Can't even count. |
Oh, my sweet, sweet Homie! You sacrificed yourself for the manatees. | Rubes... so many rubes... pounding me with their jet skis... rubes! Please, no rubes... |
I'm gonna take you home and fix you up, 'cause you're the real endangered species... a devoted husband. | Marge, I'm always amazed you chose me. |
And I always will. | Woo hoo! |
Amen. | Hey, since we've got the kids with us, why don't we all take a few days of much-needed R and R? |
Don't you have to be back at work? | Yes... but I've got a friend who owes me a solid. |
It's seven a.m. What are they cock-a-doodily-doin'? | Flanders, I can't listen to your crap before my coffee. |
Okily-dokily, here's some French roast, now I'll go make toast. | Stupid best friend Flanders. |
A stamp museum? | Stamps? Those are for snail mail! Stamps rule! I mean suck! |
Well, they just can't start building in our neighborhood without asking us. What ever happened to "please" and "thank you"? | I think they killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals. |
We have to stop all this construction. The noise is jiggling my grapes to the bottom of the Jell-o. | What man would want this now?! |
We have to stop all this construction. The noise is jiggling my grapes to the bottom of the Jell-o. | Two four six eight! I hate stamps! They aren't great! |
We have to stop all this construction. The noise is jiggling my grapes to the bottom of the Jell-o. | Okay, how about this? Seven, four three one... oh wait, that's my pin number. Everyone forget that. |
Instead of a stamp museum we'll be next door to a graveyard?! | Look at the bright side, Marge. When I die, you can mourn me from the bathroom. That's multi-tasking. |
Oh sure you can, sweetie. Just don't make a habit of it. | Okay, just let me clear some space. |
So that's why I've been smelling margaritas at three a.m. | Hey, I love waking up drunk in the morning. |
Oh, wait a minute. There's no batteries in this thing. | I, uh, needed them for my remote control helicopter. |
Tonight I want you to really try to sleep in your own bed, because... Homer, stop that! | There's a little plastic man in your hair and I'm trying to rescue him. |
Tonight I want you to really try to sleep in your own bed, because... Homer, stop that! | No soldier left behind. |
Dad, you fought tooth and nail to get it away from our house. | Lisa, when you've sustained as many blows to the head as I have, consistency is something, something that, something I love you, Bart. |
Hey, Simpsons! That'll be forty bucks! | I thought it was twenty. |
Yeah, that's per axle. Park over there in Carl Four. No early outs! | I can't believe you're making money off this! |
You guys need water? | No one's gonna pay a buck to drink water from your hose -- |
Thanks to me, Katherine Blodgett, we have non-reflecting glass. | Butter face. |
And I'm jumbo shrimp! Maximum two servings! | That's bull man. |
I don't care what Apu was in a past life. In this life, he's a blabbermouth! | Oh, and that Dr. Hibbert was so boring... "Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out... Homer, we must discuss your test results... Homer, we've got to find you a donor..." blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... |
I didn't know grownups said bad things about other grownups. | Lisa! |
I didn't know grownups said bad things about other grownups. | You see, sweetie, when a mommy and a daddy are married for years and have nothing new to talk about, they bad-mouth their closest friends. |
I know. I'm sorry. | Oh, and I spy with my little eye something with four legs that can't run. |
Is it the chair? | Exactly. Now, what has two ears but can't hear? |
Grampa? | Tragically, yes. |
What if we show Lisa we can sleep in her room without being frightened? Hm? | Okay, Marge. But don't be surprised if a snuggle monster shows up. |
Well, I hope he's accompanied by the "How was your day" monster, and the "Foot rub" monster and the let me just... | Don't worry, he's not showin' up. |
All I see is an empty grave. Why don't you fill it, ya lazy bastard? | Finally, back in the only safe bedroom in the house. |
What about Bart's bedroom? | You know that racecar bed I made him? |
Yeah. | The brakes are shot. |
Ow. | Learn to drive, boy! |
Did you bring those home movies of your daughter I asked for? | Uh... this is all I could find. |
Did you bring those home movies of your daughter I asked for? | Why you very little...! |
Who was filming that scene? | Stationary camera. |
Four thousand dollars?! | Now Marge, when our little girl's happiness is at stake... |
Four thousand dollars?! | Run, Marge! Start the car! |
I'm not chasing you, Mr. Simpson. | And you won't... unless you can leap through fire! |
Homer! | Marge, we owe her the truth! |
New pony? | Uh... this is still part of your dream. Dreaming... dreaming... now you're awake. |
That's not what you do with a hymnal. Homer! | I forgot to floss this morning! |
Heal my scabs, Lord! | Praise the Lord, I can walk again! What, my foot fell asleep. |
Oh, sugar-booger! | Aw, poor Maggie. |
Homer, don't touch her! You've never had chicken pox. | I know, and you did, and you're great. |
Oh, I'm just saying it's very dangerous if you get it as an adult! It could leave you sterile down there. | Oh. You always gotta work blue, don't ya Marge? |
Oh, I'm just saying it's very dangerous if you get it as an adult! It could leave you sterile down there. | You're better than that. |
Oh, I'm just saying it's very dangerous if you get it as an adult! It could leave you sterile down there. | Can't even go in my own kitchen... Bart's in there right now licking frosting off my eggbeaters. |
I'll just leave it here in the dog's mouth. | Noooo! Bart, that's a really bad storage area! |
Hey Homer, why the sour puss? Didja chugalug a skunky Snapple? | I dunno, maybe. Plus my wife won't let me inside because the baby's got chicken pox. |
Really? Do you mind if I bring my boys over so she can infect Rod and Todd? Then there'll be a pox on both our houses! | Why would you do that? Are you a bad parent? |
Au contraire, man with no hair! You see, Rod and Todd can only get the chicken pox once, and childhood's the safest time! | So you want Maggie to infect your kids? |
You betcha! In fact, some parents have been known to hold "pox parties," so other kids in the neighborhood can get the disease when they please. | And would they pay handsomely for the privilege? |
Well, they might. But you'd have to be awfully money-grubbing to charge your friends and neighbors... | ...Fifteen dollars to infect your kids! |
Well, they might. But you'd have to be awfully money-grubbing to charge your friends and neighbors... | Now featuring the Pox Box! Pox box not recommended for pregnant or nursing women. Like any disease box, results may vary. Pox box! |
...normally I'm not one to laugh at a man's urinary blockage, but, you shoulda seen it... oh, there he is. | Ladies and gentlemen, presenting... the sister with the blisters... the tot with all the spots... Maggie! |
I never drank one of these without a cigarette in it! | Now kids, in lieu of one of those inflatable jumping things, please welcome Mr. Krusty the Clown! |
Almost anyone's got a chance now. | Goodbye, thanks for coming. If my party made you sick, tell your friends! |
All right, we get it! | Marge, what's happening to me? |
Oh Homie, you got chicken pox. But how? | I don't know. I kept away from Maggie all day. |
Oh Homie, you got chicken pox. But how? | I'm so itchy! |
You sit in this oatmeal awhile, and it'll send your itchies packing! Homer! | Mmm... Homer-oats. |
Stop eating the oatmeal! That's the third tub you've eaten! | Y'ello? No, I'm not coming into work. I have chicken pox. I know I said that last month, but I was lying. |
Stop eating the oatmeal! That's the third tub you've eaten! | Right... right... right... right... okay... right. I love you, bye! |
Stop eating the oatmeal! That's the third tub you've eaten! | I just got fired. Better check the "Want Ads." |
Stop eating the oatmeal! That's the third tub you've eaten! | Ooh! "Truck drivers needed in Iraq." |
Stop eating the oatmeal! That's the third tub you've eaten! | Trucks are like big cars. |
I have a message for your wife: stop sleeping with my husband! | Okey-doke. And you are... |
The wife of your wife's lover! | Will she know what this is regarding? |
You moron! Marge is having an affair with Kirk! | That's ridiculous! No woman would want to have sex with that loser! And, uh, congratulations on snagging him back. Good stuff. |
Never mind about those two. Just answer me one question. How did your wife's bra end up in my husband's bed? | This-this is Marge's bra. I bought it for her boobs! |
Oh boy, am I beat! If you wanna return a melon to the grocery store, clear your day! | Well, that answers the mystery of the missing melon, but I have one more question: did you sleep with Kirk Van Houten? |
How could you ask me that? | I repeat: did you sleep with Kirk? |
Homer, you're crazy! | You're not saying no. |
Fine... No! | I'm still not hearing no. |
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