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We'll stay for one hand roll or two Nigiri -- then we have to get back to the kids! | Eh, let my Dad enjoy 'em a little longer. |
Oh, for me? | No, get two of your own. |
That's strong -- are you trying to get me drunk? | No, I'm trying to get me drunk. |
You know, my horoscope said I'd meet the man of my dreams tonight. | Well, a horoscope would never lie to a pretty girl like you. |
You are adorable! Are you... alone? | No, I'm talking to you, at this great party! |
Well then, would you like to limbo? | Limbo? You mean the dance or that place where unbaptized babies go? Either way, I'm in. |
EVERY LIMBO BOY AND GIRL, | Or you! |
EVERY LIMBO BOY AND GIRL, | SOMETHING SOMETHING LIMBO SOMETHING |
Why are you dancing with that strange woman? | She's not strange! She's fun! And she doesn't get jealous when I talk to other women! |
How about a sushi fight? | Sushi fight!! |
How about a sushi fight? | These fish died for nothing! |
Thanks for the lift. | What a cute couple. She's gonna take him for a lot of money. |
A log cabin? What am I, Davy Crockett? Also, who's Davy Crockett? | Kids, this place has very special memories for your mother and me. |
They're worse than wal-king! | I'll put a hundred bucks in your col-lege fund. |
I'll take ten bucks no-ow. | I'll steal it back when you're sleep-ing. |
Well, when the sun goes down it means God's gone to China to watch over those good folks. Time for some shuteye. | Why Flanders, you rogue. |
Well, when the sun goes down it means God's gone to China to watch over those good folks. Time for some shuteye. | All Marge and I need are a queen-sized bed and a king-sized "Do Not Disturb" sign. |
Sorry, Homer, I'm afraid it's separate accommodations for you notly-weds. | What?! But I have urges! |
That's just your trouser devil talking! | He's not talking, he's yelling! |
Aw, Maude. Your dead grandmother's pajamas. You know what that does to me. | I never thought I'd say this, but... Stupid Flanders. |
You don't need her, baby. Sylvia's got everything you want. | Do you have a pineapple pizza?! |
Pineapple and pepperoni. | This is all going so fast. |
Eh-eh-eh! First we make love, then we decide if it was a good idea. That's the European way. | I came here once with Marge. Are you Marge, Sylvia? |
Homer, I can be whoever you want me to be. | I want you to be Marge. |
Homer, I can be whoever you want me to be. | Marge?! |
Homer, I can be whoever you want me to be. | Marge? Is that you? |
Why do married women always have husbands? | Marge, what are you doing here? |
Uh... the same thing you're doing here. | You better not be! I mean, great! We both came to rekindle our precious memories of when we were young and in love. Right? |
We sure did. Rekindle, rekindle... Okay, let's go. | Oh, oh, oh, I have a better idea -- let's spend the night together, right here. |
Fine. But I don't want to sleep in the same room with that chest. | I feel the same way about that lamp. |
Okay, but first the chest. | Okay. |
Homie, what's taking so long? | Listen, you're a classy lady and a great sushi fighter. But you're goin' in the box. |
Homie? | Coming, Marge! |
And we'll stay up forever! | That takes care of those three -- want to go for a lakeside snuggle? |
Homer Simpson, you devil! | Well, that takes care of those three -- want to go play some lakeside Boggle? |
Homer Simpson, you devil! But I think we should unpack first... | Hmm, all right. The trick is to ease them off-- |
I can't believe one of the most beautiful moments in our marriage is based on lies! | You're just as bad as me. And you used to be better, so that makes you worse! I don't think we can ever trust each other again. |
I can't believe one of the most beautiful moments in our marriage is based on lies! | Ruthie, kick me away from this nightmare. |
Okay. | I wish I'd never met you! |
So... I'm sure you missed Marge last night. | Yeah. I missed her like five times. |
What a charming single entendre. Now look, I know marriage is scary, but if you really think she's the one, it gives you two a shot at forever. | Forever? That would be awesome. |
Okay, here she comes! Why don't you take Marge for a walk, open your heart and see what pours out? | And I suppose you and Maude will be coming along as well? |
What are you doing? | Saving our marriage! |
Don't be silly. Our marriage can weather any storm -- just like this tree. | Help! Fat man hanging from a tree! |
Take my hand! | I don't want to let go of our special carving! |
/ | Marge, I don't want to die with us mad at each other. |
Me neither, Homie. | I know parts of our marriage are based on lies, but so are a lot of good things: religion, American history... |
I know. We had a fight, we were both tempted... we're human. The important thing is, we love each other. | Awww. |
Hey, you guys want a lift in my pedal boat? | She blew it again! Woo-hoo! |
Knock it off back there. | But we're married. |
Okay, but keep it PG. | How about R? |
PG-13. | Woo-hoo! Adult situations! |
Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day. | Lemonade! |
Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day. | Six cups, please. And put it on my tab. |
Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day. | Keep moving, deadbeat -- cash only. |
Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day. | Fine, lemonade's for babies anyway! I'm going to Moe's, for beer! Have fun drinking your lemonade, babies! |
Lousy dog. If you had your way, I'd walk you every day. | Lisa, can Daddy borrow your bike? |
Splendid! Shall we discuss music, or the weather? | No, this is about you. Edna wants to break up. |
She wants to break up? | Yeah. |
With me? | Yeah. |
With me? | Look at it this way: you're a free man... unlike me. You have all your hair... unlike me. No kids tying you down, or a crippling mortgage that you refinanced at twenty-six percent because a dancing internet cowboy told you to... Oh, God, I hate my life! |
Gee. Compared to you, my life is one big half-day! | Exactly. You're good looking, have a decent job... what lonely widow wouldn't consider you an option? |
Is Lenny here? | Oh, I'm afraid Lenny's dead. |
What? I just talked to him. | And you will again. Because he isn't really dead. And now this next piece of news won't seem so bad... |
Homer? It's your old roommate, Grady. | The gay guy? |
Grady is breaking up with me?! | You'll always have a special place in his heart! |
Oh, baby, you are the breakup king. You have made the seven minutes that I'm gonna go without love so much more bearable. | Anyone else want me to get rid of that special someone? |
Oh, baby, you are the breakup king. You have made the seven minutes that I'm gonna go without love so much more bearable. | Okay, everyone. Rotate one to your right. |
What would have happened if there was someone who could break us up every time I had my doubts about you? | Who are you? |
Homie? | Marge, I'm getting' out of the break-up business and I don't know if I'll ever sleep soundly again. |
Cruciverbalists from far and wide have gathered here for a no-holds-barred test of skill. | Surely some holds are barred. |
No, none. | Well, it sounds really exciting and you're a delightful young lady. Now if you'll excuse me... |
We found a way to make this tournament interesting. We bet on the matches. | Really? Well, I did bring this envelope full of money. |
We found a way to make this tournament interesting. We bet on the matches. | And these days, betting in a bar is safer than any stock, bond or real estate investment. |
Agreed. So, who are you gonna bet on? | I want you to put it all on my little girl. And parlay with the Asian kid. |
He has a name, you know! | What is it? |
I win! | She won! And like any prudent gambler, I know when to walk away: never! |
My only fear is, I always sabotage myself when I'm on the verge of happiness. | You what? |
In my young life I've seen that every time I'm about to achieve true happiness, some little piece of me says "you don't deserve this." And another little piece says "I agree." | Right, right. But will it happen this time? |
Wish me luck. | Just be yourself. |
Wish me luck. | I wanna change my bet... I'm going against my daughter. |
I'll take your money. But I won't look you in the eye. | Fine. I won't look you in the eye. |
I'll take your money. But I won't look you in the eye. | Have I made the bet yet? |
Dad? Did you come into some money we don't know about? | No. |
You got highlights in your hair! | Uh... the sun did that. |
What's goin' on? | Well, sweetie, Daddy made a little extra money betting against you in the crossword tournament. You'll understand when you're a parent placing large wagers against your own children. I hope you're not mad. |
No, I'm not mad. | You sure you're not mad? |
Hey, Mr. S... Lisa B... | Nooooooooooooooooo! |
Would you like to buy some band candy? | Yessssssssssssssss! |
She may never take back your name, but there's still a chance she'll take you back as a Daddy. | Wow... nobody gives better parenting advice than childless drunks. |
Dad, I know this is crazy, but did you plant a message to me in the New York Times crossword puzzle? | Well, I had a little help from this guy. |
Take a look at the first letters of all the clues. | Dear Lisa, you make me so happy... really, really, really happy. Sorry, he told me I needed a hundred and forty-four letters. What was my point again? Oh right. Bouvier or Simpson, I cherish you. |
Um... I'm also returning this kitten calendar. | Kitten calendar. |
I see you're admiring our MyCube. It's fueled by dreams and powered by imagination. | What does it do? |
You should ask yourself, "What can I do for it?" | Okay. What can I do for you? Please, I'm begging you! |
Sir, it's not even turned on yet. | But it's glowing. |
What have you done with the old ones? | Disposed of them in an environmentally friendly manner! |
Salaam alaikum! | Milhouse is lookin' good -- he's got contacts, changed color, got a cool new catchphrase... Salaam alaikum! |
Bart forgot this, sir. | Sir? That's the kind of respect you'd have to strangle out of an American kid. |
You know, Bart never told me he had a handsome teenage brother. | I'm really thirty-eight. |
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