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Homer, this is serious. This Bashir kid is Muslim, and therefore up to something. | Oh, I can't believe that till I see a fictional TV program espousing your point of view. |
And she loved it! | Oh my God. What can I do? |
And she loved it! | But we're the more powerful country for a few more years. |
Homie, it's very open-minded of you to have Bart's Muslim friend's Muslim family over. | Here's the plan, Marge. You keep 'em talking. I'll be listening... and quietly judging. |
We met while studying at Jordan University of Science and Technology. | Ah, interesting. Why just the other day I was reading that science is used to make bombs. |
Now bait the trap. | Why don't I get us dessert? |
Now bait the trap. | I made us a little cake. |
Now bait the trap. | Care to cut? Watch this, Lenny. |
No, thank you. | What's the matter? Don't like the taste of freedom? |
I like the way you Italians think. | Shut up, old man. |
I think it is time for us to go. | That's it! Ruin a perfect evening! |
You're teaching Bart a terrible lesson of intolerance! | I'm sorry -- it's just so fun and easy to judge people based on religion. |
Well, I want you to go over to their house and apologize! | Okay, I'll apologize. |
Well, I want you to go over to their house and apologize! | Up-bup-bup! Don't eat that, sweetie, it's poison. |
Homer, I'm sure you didn't see anything. Go to sleep. | All right, sweetie. But if I wake up tomorrow we'll discuss it. |
Heeeeere's Genie! | Now do Flanders! |
No, now I will destroy your decadent Western society. | Nooooooo! |
No, now I will destroy your decadent Western society. | Hm. Usually that ends the dream. |
No, now I will destroy your decadent Western society. | The power of dreaming has convinced me the threat is real! |
But I love blowing up buildings. | Oh my God! |
Oh, it's you. What do you want? | I want to apologize for being such a jerk at dinner. And I thought the best way to do that would be to come to your house and poke around. |
Mr. Simpson, I accept your apology. Goodbye. | Wait, wait, wait, wait... I read somewhere your people are hospitable to guests. Is that true? |
Yes. | Praise be Oliver. |
That's Allah! | We'll look it up in the Corona. |
Homer? I don't hear almond grinding! | Just lis-ten! I'm grinding them now! Ow! My finger! Ooh, here comes the ambulance! My, you're a handsome fellow. Just get in the ambulance, Mr. Simpson. We'll see to your finger. Why thank you. |
Homer? I don't hear almond grinding! | Ow! My finger! |
No, I... | U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! |
Dad, it was an empty building. It was supposed to come down! | What about the bridge? |
That was supposed to open tomorrow. | Did we really need a bridge there? |
The Duff brewery is on that island. | I'll save you! |
All the bees are dead! | Oh no, no bees? Oooh, now who will sting me and walk all over my sandwiches? |
Fortune Four lotto numbers are: nine... | Pfft! Knew it. |
Seven... | Duh! |
Three... | What?! |
And... | Bo-ring! |
But Dad, bees pollinate flowers. | Flowers -- the painted whores of the plant world. |
Honey? | Thank you. |
Bees. | Worms, bees, ticks, fleas... let's go, go, go! |
...in there. Close. See these red dots? This bee has been felled by bee measles -- or as I call it, "beasles." | Animals can get sick?! |
I'm going to talk to the girl from now on. | You're the nerd. |
Uh-huh... | And mine was snakes and yours was... |
Never being a grandmother? | Really? I thought it was Lisa with a beard of bees. Well whatever, brace yourself. |
Um Mom, maybe you shouldn't have put so much syrup on the pancakes. | The secret is not to swallow the stingers. |
Dad, don't eat the bees! | They're just drones, Lisa. They only live for like five minutes anyway. And they only have haploid cells, not diploid like me and Bart. |
Listen Lisa, I was trying to think of a way to help your bees and I remembered this abandoned greenhouse outside of town. | Which used to be a beautiful, thriving greenhouse 'til I was hired to run it. |
Silence! Now, let's make some noise for everyone's favorite basketball team, whom I have renamed the Springfield Excitement. | I knew it! |
Okay, okay! Don't know why I had 'em in the first place. | I'd do anything to cheer up my little girl. |
Listen Homer, in the back room I got these super-tough Africanized bees. I saw this ad in a gentleman's magazine for excited African honeys, and that's what they sent me. If we could combine them with Lisa's bees, it would make them strong enough to survive any environment. | Huh? But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species? |
Actually Homer... | You and me? |
No, the bees! | Oh yeah, yeah, that's what I meant too. I have no... inclination... |
Got the queen? | Yep. |
Got the queen? | And she's ready for a night of anonymous sex with multiple partners. |
Wow, this must be important, Dad! I've never seen you walk up an incline before. | Sweetie, I have a very special surprise for you. |
Why do we have to go to the rec center? I wanna play with my friends! | When you're older, you'll miss these fun activities. |
You're older. Why don't you do these fun activities? | Uh, 'cause no one's making me. Buh-bye. |
We could be murderers. | Could've been. If we hadn't had kids. |
He found several undiscovered plot twists in "The Client." And he proved that the real villain in "A Time to Kill" is the legal system itself. | Toldja, Marge. Tol. Dja. |
I just said that. | Okay, honey. If it's that important to you, you said it. |
Now remember, Juliet's family is very classy, so be on your best behavior. | Use as many big words as possible. I call "computer." Bart, you can have "doorbell." |
Nice doorbell. Is it computerized? | Hey! That was-- |
Homer! | We... I... You come up with an excuse! |
Homer, isn't it wonderful that my Juliet and your Lisa have become such fast friends? | If you say so, M'lord. |
Dinner's ready! | If you'll show me to your bathroom, I'd like to pretend to wash my hands. |
I'll go get her! | Hey, could you take a look at a lump on my back? |
I'm not that kind of doctor! | Oh, I get it. Here's ten bucks. |
That's chewing gum. | What a racket. |
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we need to talk about Lisa. She's unfocused, scribbling nonsense, living in a world of her own. | Well, that's Bart for ya. |
We're talking about Lisa, your daughter. | Seems like you and I are always talking about Bart, my son. |
I search all the children's Facebook pages for unflattering references to me. By the way, I enjoyed the photos of your trip to Yosemite. | Oh, that. We were actually just going out for brunch and I got lost. But don't worry, officer. We'll definitely have a talk with the boy. |
I wonder if Lisa has threatened the Model U.N. with her rice tariff yet. | I doubt it -- Friday is usually just committee assignments and procedural rules. |
A "castle"... I know where they are! | Wait! |
A "castle"... I know where they are! | Is it some place I have to put on a tie? |
No! | Is it a place I'd look overdressed if I did wear a tie? |
You probably would. | What about a jacket and jeans with a nice tee shirt? |
You got a letter all the way from New York City, and that's something! | And you know what else, sweetie? You and your friend Princess Nutjob inspired me to write my own fantasy novel, based on my experiences as a dad. |
You got a letter all the way from New York City, and that's something! | Okay, chapter one... uh... uh... writing is hard. |
There they are, my favorite mixed-race couple! | Guys that popular and confident are never truly happy. |
He looks happy. | Tears of a clown. |
He's not crying and he's not known for clowning. | Exception that proves the rule. If losers like me know one thing, it's that deep down, winners like him are miserable. Watch, I'll prove it. |
He's not crying and he's not known for clowning. | Angry nut coming through. |
Clear a path, boys. | Hey, Vance? |
Hey, Homer Simpson! How you been? | Great, thanks. Listen, settle a bet: behind that smile you're dying, right? |
Behind this smile is a bigger smile trying to get out. Oh. Oh here it comes! Oh yeah! | Please! You've gotta have some secret agony! I bet those fancy shoes hurt your feet. |
Got 'em from a buddy of mine with a store in Shelbyville. You want his number? | No. Yes. |
Hey, Homer, you wanna try my new Vance Connor-politan? Like Vance, it is smooth, cool and oh-so-sophisticated. | I'll just stick with my beer. |
Yeah, me too. | Because when Vance beat me in that election, he ruined my life. |
Yeah, me too. | Why did you just exchange that look of guilt? |
Just let it go, Homer. | Al Gore? |
Finally, you returned my shovel. | That's not why I'm here. Get dressed. |
California casual or business attire? | California casual. |
There it is! | The ballot box?! |
"Right under this." | What will this box reveal? And what will I use this box for afterwards? Mismatched nuts and bolts? Recipes? I may never know. |
Homer Simpson... | Woo-hoo! |
Homer Simpson... | Woo-hoo! |
Homer Simpson. | Woo hoo! |
Please stop doing that. | , or woo hoo? |
Both. Homer Simpson... Vance Connor... Fonzie... Homer Simpson... and the winner is Homer Simpson! | Yes! I'm Senior Class President! I get a parking spot if the Assistant Principal isn't using it! |
Both. Homer Simpson... Vance Connor... Fonzie... Homer Simpson... and the winner is Homer Simpson! | Wait a second. If I'd been Class President like I was supposed to, I'd be the one with the big mansion and the color TVs and the hot wife! |
Hey! | Marge, I still would be married to you, but you would just be hotter. |
Dad, just because you won a high school election doesn't mean your whole life would have been better. | That's exactly what it means. And Dondelinger took that life away from me. And the taking of a life is murder. And the punishment for murder is... well, it varies from state to state and by race... but I'm gonna find Dondelinger and tell him I know what he did last summer... twenty-two years ago... in the winter! |
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