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Mine says "Something you lost will soon turn up." My faith in the Lord -- it came back! | "Today is your lucky day." Yeah, pfft! |
If it's your lucky day, you'd be a fool not to take advantage of it. | Hey, any part of a cookie you can't eat is just a waste of time-- |
ext. nuclear plant - parking lot - 5 pm) | Hmm, maybe this is my lucky day. |
ext. nuclear plant - parking lot - 5 pm) | A disc? Please be compact, please be compact! Woo-hoo! |
Thank you, come again. Who's next? Hello | ...Yo no creía en fortunas, pero entonces me salió una galleta... |
Sí, sí... | ...que decía que hoy era mi día dichoso. Primero no lo creí, pero entonces me caí contra la maquina de dulces, ay, ay, ay! |
Homer! Where are you? | I'm almost there... I can see the church steeple in the distance... |
Homer! Where are you? | Uh-oh, here comes a train. |
/ / / | Tickets, please. Hey, where's your ticket? Leave me alone! Why you little... |
Good evening, Mr. Homer, how can I-- | No time to pretend we're friends! Lotto me! |
Good evening, Mr. Homer, how can I-- | One, six, seventeen, twenty-two, twenty-four, thirty-five. |
Good evening, Mr. Homer, how can I-- | I did it! I'm gonna make it! |
Oh thank God you're okay! | I'm alive! And surrounded by the...people I love the most in the... |
Oh thank God you're okay! | Could you scooch over a bit? |
Seven-oh-seven? That's exactly the moment I was furious at you for missing our toast. And now I'm the one who has to ask... Can you forgive me? | I'll try. |
Wait a minute, Homer! You can't spend any of that money or Marge will know you lied. | Oh yeah. |
Wait a minute, Homer! You can't spend any of that money or Marge will know you lied. | Marge? What are you doing? |
The laundry. The machine's on the fritz, and we can't afford the four hundred dollars to fix it. | Here I am a millionaire, and I can't even help the woman who gave birth to me. |
Why don't you just buy things your family needs, and leave them where they'll find them? | Oh Barney, that's brilliant! Just for that, you can help yourself to anything from this tree. |
That's not the money tree. | I know. It's where I hide my adult magazines. |
You threw it, you go find it. | Why you little... |
Ow! There's a big box in here! | A box? No way! |
Ow! There's a big box in here! | A new washing machine? No way! |
That's just what we need! But how are we going to get it home? | You go rent us a truck. |
What are you doing? | Why... I'm just... |
There's money in this tree. What the hell is going on? | Lenny... and Carl... A fortune cookie... I ran into the candy machine... and I found an Emerson, Lake, and Palmer... |
Okay, let me get this straight -- you got all this moolah, legitimately, but you're too scared to do anything fun with it? | Son, if I was interested in fun, I would've run away the day you were born. |
Look man, you've got to enjoy yourself a little. You work hard, or at least you're out of the house a lot. | You're right. I have been acting like Telethon Jerry Lewis when I should've been acting like rest-of-the-year Jerry Lewis. Will you teach me how to put myself first? |
Don't forget my cut. | Um... your cut of what? |
So... where you from, Homer? | Here. |
So... where you from, Homer? | Wait! |
Yes, Homer? | Do you think you could use someone like me in your band? |
Yeah. Come on up. You can play the tambourine. | I said someone like me, I didn't say me. |
Here we go, folks -- the ultimate zero-gravity experience! | Look at me! I'm flying, like Superman's dog! |
Here we go, folks -- the ultimate zero-gravity experience! | Race you to the cockpit! |
No way! I wanna go a million more times! | Sorry boy. You have school tomorrow. |
Rich kids don't need school! When I grow up, you can buy an apartment building and make me the super. | With that attitude, you'll never super in one of my buildings! |
Rich kids don't need school! When I grow up, you can buy an apartment building and make me the super. | Boy, I am through spoiling you. First thing tomorrow you're going back to the rotten life you've always enjoyed. |
Oh yeah? If you don't keep splashing the cash, I'm gonna tell Mom that it's thanks to you she made the first bad wedding toast ever. | Blackmail your father in space, will you?! |
Oh great, now that Dad's gonna star in it. | I agreed to no such thing! |
Mo-om... | Where and what time? |
Homeroom, eight a.m. | Never! |
Mo-om... | What do I wear? |
Homer! I need you to rickshaw me to soccer practice! | Fine. Let me just get my harness pads. |
Hey, hey, hey. Let's not get crazy. If you quit, I'm telling Mom everything. | Not if I tell her first. |
Okay, but just 'cause I'm your best friend, don't be afraid to use that whip. | Okay, I'm taking off the blindfold... |
Well, I kind of got a clue when I heard that "ballooning safety" video. | Marge, soaring above the forgiving beauty of nature, I have something to confess. Um... I wasn't there for that wedding toast because... I was buying a lottery ticket. |
You were what?! | You have a right to be angry. Furious! And even though that ticket won a million dollars and-- |
We've got a million dollars?! Screw the toast! | Uh, yes, well, um... taxes took out a lot... I spent a ton on those things for the family... and um, I didn't know you could rent a balloon... |
So we're right back where we used to be. | Yes, but I have one more thing to show you. |
Oh my God! | Marge, those groves of cherry blossoms will bloom every year, to remind the world of the sweetest, most forgiving woman who ever lived... am I off the hook? |
YOU LIKE POTATO... | AND YOU LIKE POTATO... |
YOU LIKE TOMATO... | AND YOU LIKE TOMATO... |
Homer, you don't look fat. | Carl, you're a liar, but I love it. |
Don't leave until you find that leak! | Uh, Mr. Burns, couldn't we patch the leak tomorrow? It's date night. |
We're appalling! | I'm sorry I missed dinner, honey. We still have time to catch a movie. That can be romantic. |
Really? How romantic? | It'll make a walk on the beach seem like a punch in the face. |
It's so noisy in here! I can't hear the ad telling everyone to be quiet! | Hey, we came here to enjoy the movie and we're going to enjoy the movie. |
It's so noisy in here! I can't hear the ad telling everyone to be quiet! | We're outta here. |
This isn't fair! I want romance! | How about bromance? |
It's not the same. | Dude... |
A sport that encourages hand-holding. | Would you like to wear mittens or go commando? |
Sorry, no skating tonight. | What, they come here on Saturday night to clean the ice? Losers. |
...as teammates control the direction and speed of the stone by sweeping in front of it with a special broom. | Marge, this is perfect for both of us! It's got bowling for me and sweeping for you! |
Maybe you'd like to give it a try? | Let us curl, M'lady. Let us throw and sweep a'twain until the Heavens themselves drop their jaws in wonder and envy! And afterwards there'll be beer, and cocoa, with marshmallows floating in the foam. And if, from now till the end of time, someone should ask what we were doing on the eve of the seventeenth of November,... |
Yeah, like the time you said Dad was taking a weekend leadership seminar, when he was really stuck in a barrel at the junkyard? | Curling is real. |
Hey, look who "slid" into our "house." | Great curling reference. |
Astonishing news out of Eau Claire, Wisconsin: the Olympic Committee has announced that Mixed Curling will be a Demonstration Event at the Winter Olympics! | There's a Winter Olympics? |
Homer, while you were imagining what the Winter Olympics were, Seymour said we were all going to the Olympic trials! | Olympic trials, eh? |
Homie! We're going to Vancouver! | Pack your winter coat! We're going to Canada's warmest city! |
Homer, who's that? | She used to be my therapist. |
Pay your bill! | I couldn't hear the last thing you said! Goodbye forever! |
Hoo-hoo! | OH, A PORK BAO, A SHRIMP BAO, EVERYWHERE A BAO BAO / HOMER SIMPSON WINS A GOLD / SLIDING ROCKS ON ICE... BAO BAO! |
Well, Homer's my soul mate! And you don't dump a soul mate! | Oh my God, I'm holding back the team. But our marriage is based on curling. What am I gonna do? |
Well, no matter what you do, it won't make up for Sir Slip-a-lot over there. | Uh-oh. |
This is the sort of bittersweet melodrama Olympic coverage feeds on! I admit it! We're vampires who suck on shattered dreams! | That's my Marge! High-five! |
Sorry, but I'm afraid she'll never curl again. | It's stuck! |
I'm not horny, I'm mad. | Ooo, you're mad when you're angry... |
I'm not horny, I'm mad. | Marge, you're really good with your left hand. |
Let's give the Olympics a miracle! | But this time, on ice! |
The U.S.A. has won Demonstration Gold. Our first and only medals of these entire Olympics. Kids, open your history books, tear out the pages and put this indelible Olympic moment in! | U.S.A.! U.S.A.! |
The U.S.A. has won Demonstration Gold. Our first and only medals of these entire Olympics. Kids, open your history books, tear out the pages and put this indelible Olympic moment in! | Oops. |
They're all horrible! | Yeah, the Simpson family is a long line of horse thieves, deadbeats, horse beats, dead thieves, and even a few... |
They're all horrible! | Alcoholics. |
Not a one! Maybe the nicest was Abigail Simpson, who you know as the Pittsburgh Poisoner... | Listen, Lisa. You're gonna find more than you bargained for. If I were you, I wouldn't dig into the past. I lived in some of that past, and I got out for a reason. |
This entry's dated April 14th, 1860. | I warn you: I don't know what's in there but if it's about a Simpson, you ain't gonna be proud. |
I can't believe we're descended from slave owners! | Me neither. For once, the Simpsons were in management! |
Then they should've called it the "Above-Ground Normal-Road." | Good point, Bart. |
Very good, Bart. | That's a great story, Lisa! And you should stop reading right there. |
What are you doing? I wanna know what happens next. | Well I don't. The motto of the Simpsons is, "quit while you're ahead." |
But-but-but-but-but... | Time for bed, sweetie. |
Ooh, good idea. Bart, what are you doing for Black History Month? | I got an idea: you can march to Selma -- and tell her she's ugly! |
To the reference desk! | The library? Bart, can you believe we're married to those nerds? |
You're a liar! | Leave me alone! I have shares to crop! |
I'll take that secret to my grave! Or urn, or medical school dissecting table, or wherever you're dumpin' me! | Listen, Wrinkles! If you know something that'll cheer up my little girl, you'd better spill it. Or I can make things very uncomfortable for you. |
Okay, I'll talk! D-Day is June 6th! Repeat: June 6th! Allied forces will land on the beaches of Normandy in the following order: Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno... are you writing this down, Fritz? | About Virgil. |
That's why my jazz is so smooth! | And that's why I earn less than my white co-workers! |
I don't know what the big deal is. I mean, it never bothered any of you that my father's French. You know, Bouvier? | So that's why I love drinking so much. |
I'm French, not you. | C'est la vie, baby. |
I tried really hard to stop you from finding out. Does that help? | A little! |
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