instruction stringlengths 1 496 | response stringlengths 1 472 |
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Shh! They'll hear us. | They didn't hear us in the sewing room. |
Exactly. Now there's nothing left out there but treasure. | Hello, everybody. |
Hey, you're back. Did you rock the Casbah? | Bart! Yes. |
It's okay when you're in love. And married. To the sweetest guy in the world. | Awww... Eskimo kiss! |
You don't think there's anything wrong with what we're doing, do you? | I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong. |
Oh, this is so naughty. Coming back to our old love nest... | It hasn't changed since that magical evening when I knocked you up. |
Heh, heh. Yeah. | Well, this time I'm drunk on love... and beer. |
We're trapped! | Oh, why can't they just play through? |
Who cares what it is? Let's monoxide it. | Ohh, why are people always trying to kill me? |
We've gotta get home before someone sees us. | Y'know, all this danger is kind of a turn-- |
All right, men, those nudies are here somewhere. Fan out. | Oh, we're surrounded, Marge. Maybe we should give ourselves up. |
But think of the scandal. | Yeah, the British tabloids will have a field day. There's only one thing left to do. |
But think of the scandal. | Grab onto the handles, Marge. |
Clothes! We're saved! | These have pleats... |
You mean this thing? | No, that was not the thing. |
Hang on, Homie. I'm gonna try to set her down. | Thank you... |
Dear Lord, look at that blimp. He's hanging from a balloon. | Marge, uh, can we not land here?... Honey?... Baby doll...? |
Kids, I want to explain about the stadium. Y'see, sometimes Moms and Dads get a little... well, accustomed to each other. | Dads especially! |
So they need to explore new ways to express their love. | Scary ways. But we never intended it to end like that. With thousands of people staring at our naked bodies. |
All those eyes, just leering and leering at us. | Who's in the mood for miniature golf? |
Look, Dad, they've got every kind of paper! Looseleaf, graph, unlined, college-ruled! | Can't you just write on your arm like I do? |
Yes, sir! One Kwik-E-Dog, one bubble gum cigar, and the latest issue of "Success" magazine. | Hey, this hot dog tastes different. |
Yes, I just cleaned out the machine, sir, so the snack you are enjoying has not been soaking in putrid grease. | Uh, yeah, but without the grease all you can taste is the hog anus. |
I'm so sorry, but I sold it all to the rendering plant. | People buy grease? |
Oh yes. They use it to make products such as soap, cosmetics, baby food... | Used grease is worth money? Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold. I'm rich, Apu! Rich, I--! |
Oh yes. They use it to make products such as soap, cosmetics, baby food... | Money in the bank. |
Uh, Dad, I don't think the dog can handle any more bacon. | Looks like he's about ready for another squeezin'. |
Homer, that side of bacon was for my bridge game tonight. | Marge, if you don't mind, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence. |
With cans of grease? | No, through savings and wise investments. Of course with grease! |
Come on, Bart. The bus is here. | Where do you think you're goin'? |
It's the first day of school. | Not for you it isn't. You're in the grease business now. |
Four pounds of grease... that comes tooo... sixty-three cents. | Woo hoo! |
Dad, all that bacon cost twenty-seven dollars. | Yeah, but your Mom paid for that. |
But doesn't she get her money from you? | And I get my money from grease. What's the problem? |
But doesn't she get her money from you? | Wow, look at that load of grease. Boy, if we're ever gonna earn paper money, we have to expand our operation. |
Um, I don't know how much more school I can miss. | Oh, you'll miss plenty. I have a feeling this business is going to consume our whole lives. |
They only like her 'cause she acts so grown up, with her perfume and her cell phone and... Oh, and get this, Mom, she drinks iced tea. | Li-sa, I can't imagine anyone being more likable than you. But apparently this new girl is. So my advice would be to start copying her in every way. |
But, Dad... | Uh-uh, think. Is that what Alex would say? |
When you want grease, go to the source: good old Krusty Burger. | Oh I'll say. Look at that redheaded kid. There must be twenty dollars' worth of grease on his forehead alone. |
I was thinking more of the deep fryer. | All right. We'll try it your way. |
Can I help you, sir? | My God, you're greasy. |
Mom's gonna kill you. | If she didn't want her car ruined, she should've done a better job hiding her keys. |
Mom's gonna kill you. | Hey, what the...? |
Mom's gonna kill you. | Hey, hey, you're taking our grease! |
We run the grease racket in this town. | Hey, that's my shovel. |
My poor Homie. Couldn't you try some other far-out money-making scheme? | Oh, what's the point? |
Dad, he's not stupid. | All right, screw it. Let's roll. |
Dad, he's not stupid. | Mmm... I knew I should have attached those somehow. |
Don't worry. This is the score we've been dreamin' about. The grease traps in this kitchen have never been emptied. | Okay, turn on the suction. |
Don't worry. This is the score we've been dreamin' about. The grease traps in this kitchen have never been emptied. | It's not working. |
Where's the hose? | Bringin' up the rear. |
Are you as excited as I am? | Oh, yeah. |
Are you as excited as I am? | Well, here goes... |
Are you as excited as I am? | And now we wait. So... is this your school? |
Eek! -- I mean, ach! -- I mean, what are you doing here? | Uhhhh... we're, uh, new foreign exchange students from, uh... um... Scotland. |
Saints be praised! I'm from Scotland! Where do ye hail from? | Uhh... North... Kilt... town? |
No foolin'?! I'm from North Kilt-town! Do you know Angus MacCloud? | Wait a minute, there's no Angus MacCloud in North Kilt-town. Why you're not from Scotland at all! |
Not so fast, boy-o. Well, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. But the lads have a temper... and they've been drinkin' all day. | Ow! Stop pummeling me! It's really painful! |
Uh... guys? Guys? The hose. | Bart, please. The groundskeeper and I are trying to settle this like adults. |
Hey, Luigi bringa you kids free pizza. Why you have to maka da fun, huh? | That's my grease! It's mine! Give it here! |
Doctors say the life expectancy of the average man is now seventy-six point two years. | Seventy-six point two?! But I'm already thirty-eight point one! I've wasted half my life! |
Sir, do you need a tow truck? | What are you talking about, Marge? I don't need a... |
Sir, do you need a tow truck? | Okay, send the truck. |
Oh, honey, don't eat that. Wouldn't you rather have your sugar bag? | No, I don't deserve sugar. I'm halfway to my grave, and I haven't accomplished anything. Oh, I am not looking forward to my funeral. |
Indubitably, old chum. | Marge, no matter what happens in the future, promise me you won't vote for Lenny. |
Okay, but you've accomplished a lot. You've made me very happy. | Oh yeah, they'll put me on a stamp for that. |
Okay, but you've accomplished a lot. You've made me very happy. | I've wasted half my life, Marge. Do you know how many memories I have? Three! Standing in line for a movie, having a key made, and sitting here talking to you. Thirty-eight years and that's all I have to show for it. |
Hi, Dad. How was work? | Cold. |
Surprise! | Oh. I see you're having a party. I'll come back later. |
The kids and I want to show you all the great things you've done. | Oh, all right. Maybe I can pinpoint where my life went wrong. |
There you are in outer space. That's pretty impressive. | All we did was grow some space tomatoes and sabotage Mir. |
Remember when you almost became heavyweight champ? | No. |
Well, there's certainly no greater accomplishment than fathering three beautiful children. | Hike. |
Your family has asked me to take time out from my busy schedule to invite you to a very speciallll... | Stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things anyway? Was it you, Bart? |
That, too. He also invented the phonograph, the microphone, and the electric car. | No one man can do all that. You're a liar, honey. A dirty, rotten liar. |
It's true. I read it on a place mat at a restaurant. | Really? A restaurant? Well, now I don't know what to think. |
Top of the world, ma! | Cut it out, boy! |
Dad? What are you doin' here? | Reading about this Edison character. They won't let me in the big people library downtown. There was some unpleasantness. I can never go back. |
Dad? What are you doin' here? | Ooh, look at all the inventions Edison came up with. The stock ticker, the storage battery, even wax paper. And look at him dance. |
Dad? What are you doin' here? | De de de de de. |
That's great, Dad. | And these Hardy Boys books are great, too. This one is about smugglers. |
They're all about smugglers. | No, not this one. "The Smugglers of Pirate Cove." It's about pirates. |
Excuse me, are you a student at this school? | I think it's pretty obvious that I am. |
Excuse me, are you a student at this school? | Go school! |
Huh? Oh... uh... oh, nuts. I forgot. All I can think of now is Edison. I can't even remember where I work. | Well, I remember where Edison worked. It was Menlo Park. That's where he came up with the tasimeter, the ore separator and... |
Uh, James Watt invented the steam engine. | That's boring. You're boring everybody. Quit boring everyone! |
All right, already! Everyone knows the man accomplished a lot. Maybe because he didn't spend every waking moment talking about Thomas Edison! | Ohh, that's where you're wrong, Marge. He was a shameless self-promoter. |
Well, you're not Thomas Edison. | Marge, that's it! That's why I haven't done anything with my life! I need to be more like Thomas Edison! |
Whatever. | And I'm starting right now. No more lousy pajamas! |
Whatever. | From this day forward, I am an inventor! |
Do us a favor. Invent yourself some underpants. | Well, I quit my job just like you said to. |
I didn't tell you to quit your job. | Yes, you did. I remember your exact words. You said I should quit my job and become an inventor or you'd torch the house. |
Oh? | You look at this table and what do you see? Just a table. Now, a creative person, like me, looks at this table and sees all kinds of creative things -- but no tables. |
Homer, that's not a table, that's our dryer. | My files! |
Homer, that's not a table, that's our dryer. | Uh, this isn't working. I've got to try a different approach. |
You've started smoking, Dad? | Yes. Thomas Edison smoked several cigars a day. |
Yeah. He invented stuff, too. | Shutup. |
Yeah. He invented stuff, too. | As long as you're here annoying me, let's have a brainstorming session. Now, here's how it works: Lisa, you say one thing, then Bart, you say another. Just toss out things and I'll use my inventive mind to combine them into a brilliant original idea. |
Butt. | Okay. |
Booger. | Uh-huh. |
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