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Yeah, how 'bout that Super Bowl? You goin' this year? | Me? Nah. Unless there's a coupon for it. Nah. |
We've got a charter bus goin' down to the game. You help us fill it, you can ride for free. | Homer Simpson at the Super Bowl? |
You! | Me?! |
Yeah, you. Get your hand off my wife's leg. | Sorry. |
Yeah, you. Get your hand off my wife's leg. | It's a deal. Hey, Moe. Wanna come with me and Wally to the Super Bowl? |
Oh, absolutely. My favorite team's in it: the Atlanta Falcons . Yeah, ever since I was a boy, I've always loved the Atlanta Falcons . | Yeah, they're good. But I wouldn't count out the... Denver Broncos . |
Nah. | C'mon!... |
Nah. | C'mon! |
Nah. | Oh, c'mon!... |
Ahh. | Yes! Now that Lenny's in, Carl will fall like a domino. |
I'm so happy you're going to the big game. My dream has always been to see the Bolshoi Ballet. | Yeah, yeah. Do we have any pencils that work? |
Wow, you've signed up quite a few people, Dad: Sea Captain, Bumblebee Man, Comic Book Guy, the Squeaky Voiced Teen... | Yeah, it's a good group. |
Yeah. Not a dame in sight. | Aw, thank God! Now we can stop holding it in. |
Aw, crap. It's that pip-squeak Rudy. | What is it, Rudy? |
Whooo! | Hey, Troy Aikman! |
Man, that hurts. | 'Scuse me, comin' through. Friends of Dan Marino. |
Man, that hurts. | Okay, Dan. Fire away. |
I'm catching a pass from Dan Marino! This is the greatest moment of my... | Woo hoo! Homer Simpson with the pick! |
Hey, Bubba. Hacksaw. Get that moron. | Uh-oh. Lateral, to Bart! |
Hey, Bubba. Hacksaw. Get that moron. | My spine. |
Who needs tickets? Tickets right here. How 'bout you, Slick? | Scalping tickets to the Super Bowl. Have you no shame, sir? I should give you a royal caning. |
Hey, I'm just tryin' to make an honest buck. | Aw, get lost, ya bloodsucking parasite. Wally and I have all the tickets we need. |
Yeah. See, the hologram's missing. And there's no such team as the "Spongos." And finally, these seem to be printed on some sort of cracker. | Stop eating our tickets! |
Oh, how could I fall for fake tickets? Gee, the fellas are gonna be crestfallen. | Yes, if by "crestfallen" you mean "kill us." Listen, let me talk to them. Maybe I can smooth this over. |
Oh, how could I fall for fake tickets? Gee, the fellas are gonna be crestfallen. | My friends... |
Kill 'em! | Please, my friends... Ow! All right, I'll get you into to the game! |
Kill 'em! | Excuse me, Uh, Mr. Scalper, sir. Have I told you that I love you? |
Forget it. You'll just hurt me like all the others. | Okay, Moe. I believe you had me by the throat. Reverend Lovejoy was working the body... |
Wait, Dad, look! | Gentlemen, I have an idea. |
Wait, Dad, look! | Run! |
Wait, Dad, look! | Woo hoo! |
Get back here! | We can still make the kickoff! |
You got my vote. | Oh, we're never gonna get out of... Psst, cleaning lady. Would you let us out of here? |
Me? I'm Dolly Parton. | I didn't ask for your life story. Just give me the key. |
Oo, look at the time. I better scoot to that halftime show. See y'all. | Man, that's gonna be some show. |
Who's ready for some football?! | Football! |
Yeah. Where? | You guys are following me? I was following Flanders. |
What the bloody hell? | Hit the road, Gramps. This is a private sky box. |
Let... Go... Booze! | Y'ello... |
Uh, hello, this is President Clinton. | Hey, howyadoin'? |
You know, your determination and grit under extreme pressure are an inspiration. The whole country is proud of you. | Well, it's about time. |
And on behalf of America, I'd like to... | Ow! Oh! All right, Lovejoy! You're gonna get it. |
Dad, that doesn't belong to you. | But this might be my last chance to win one. |
Well, we sure put together a heck of a trip, Homer. Ever thought about being a travel agent? | Wally, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't. |
'Cause you can really "go places" in the travel business. Huh? Feel free to use that one. | What one? |
Locked. | Phone? |
Unplugged. | Dog, cat? |
Aw geez, there they got me living with an African-American, a Semite-American and a Woman-American, there. And I'm glad. I love youse all. I love everybody. I wish I'd saved my money from the first show. | Oh, I can't wait. Look, Marge, I had a scorecard printed up at that all-night scorecard place. |
Isn't mid-season just a dumping ground for second-rate shows that weren't good enough for the fall schedule? | You're thinking of all the other years. This year's shows are classics. |
Isn't mid-season just a dumping ground for second-rate shows that weren't good enough for the fall schedule? | There's "The Laughter Family." That's animated. Networks like animation 'cause they don't have to pay the actors squat. |
It's hard to believe someone that young could have risen to the rank of Admiral. | Gee... I never thought I'd say this about a TV show, but this is kinda stupid. Hey, "PoliceCops." That sounds like a lethal combination. |
This isn't bad. | Isn't bad? Tell me one thing mankind's ever done that's any better. |
The Renaissance. | This is better. |
Arrest that guy. And that's the end of that chapter... | Wow. They've captured my personality perfectly. Did you see the way Daddy caught that bullet? |
That's not really you, Dad. He's just a fictional character who happens to have the same name. | Don't confuse Daddy, Lisa. |
Another person wants to congratulate you for having a famous name. | Y'ello... yes, this is the original Homer Simpson. Who's this?... The Debbie Pinson who was the homecoming queen at high school?... Yes, I'm still available. |
No he's not. | Marge, that was Debbie Pinson. DEB-BIE PIN-SON. |
Hey Homer! Homer! Check it out. Bottom of page twelve. | "Local Man Has Same Name. A TV character has the same name as Springfield resident Homer Simpson." |
Hey, you're famous. | And that's the end of that chapter. |
Uh, Mr. Simpson, sir, can I get your autograph? | All right. And what's the name? |
You only wrote my name. Um, I wanted yours. | Take it or leave it... Carl. |
Simp-sonnnn!! | Hey, what's going on? That guy's not Homer Simpson. He's fat and stupid. |
Hey, looks like they changed the character into a bumbling sidekick. | No, no, he can't be. I know, maybe he's just acting stupid to infiltrate a gang of international idiots. Yeah, that's gotta be it. |
Yeah, come on, dum-dum, do something unintelligent, there. | Shutup! I'm not your clown! Don't diminish me! |
Yeah, come on, dum-dum, do something unintelligent, there. | Gentlemen, I bid you-- |
Yeah, come on, dum-dum, do something unintelligent, there. | Who-o-oa! Who-o-oa! Who-o-oa! |
Your character provides the comic relief. Like... Ohhh... Marlon Brando in "Apocalypse Now." | I wish I hadn't bought a hundred of these. |
He's about to do something stupid. | Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you gentlemen, but you seem to have me confused with a character in a fictional show. Now if you'll excuse me, my fondue is just about... |
Haw haw. | People are laughing at me, Marge. Let's get outta here. Forget the baby's medicine. |
But her forehead's on fire. | Fine. I'll be in the car, driving home. |
Your catch phrase is hysterical. Please say it clearly for my answering machine tape. | Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's. |
Oh, it's never enough, not for them. Once they get a taste of you, they want more and more and more. That reminds me, do you mind if my nephew kicks you in the belly? | Okay. |
Aw, the flash didn't go off. Ya got another one in you, Josh? | The whole town's laughin' at me. Even that cat out there. Bart, kill that cat! |
Homer, your growing insanity is starting to worry me. Why don't you talk to the producers of the show? Maybe they'll make your character suave again. | Hmmmm, I guess I could... But while I'm gone, keep an eye on that weird-looking kid down there. |
Bart? | Yeah. "Bart." |
Stupid? Well, I can assure you, it happened organically. | It better have. |
But then we found out that ABC had a similar project in development with Annie Potts and Jeremy Piven. | Who's Jeremy Piven? |
But it scared the hell out of us. So we slapped together a cop show instead. | "PoliceCops." |
PoliceCops. | Yeah, but why does the Homer Simpson character have to be so stupid? |
Oh, he's not stupid. He's a street-smart, fish-out-of-water in a world he never made. | I'm begging you. I'm a human being. Let me have my dignity back. |
Court finds in favor of "PoliceCops." Next case. | Then I'd like to legally change my name. |
What name would you prefer? | Any of these will be fine. |
Max Power?? | Dynamic, isn't it? |
You changed your name without consulting me? | That's the way Max Power is, Marge. Decisive, uncompromising, and rude. |
But this will be so confusing. The mailman won't know what to do. Did you think of the mailman at all before you did this? | Yes, briefly. |
And what about the tattoo on my you-know-what? | Oh honey, they have acids that can burn that off. |
But I fell in love with Homer Simpson. I don't want to snuggle with "Max Power." | Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the G's. |
Oh, Lord. | And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh no, I'm taking charge. Kids, there's three ways to do things -- the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way. |
Isn't that the wrong way? | Yeah, but faster. |
Well, who could forget the name of a magnetic individual like you? Keep up the good work, Max. | Mr. Power. |
Sir, traditionally, a monogram is just initials. | Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more important. No, as important. |
Very well... | And if you have enough room, add some exclamation points and a pirate flag. |
The man knows what he likes. | Just takin' care of business. |
If you don't, who will, huh? Trent Steel. | Homer Sim-- Uh, Max Power. |
Oh, heyyy, great name. | Yeah, isn't it? I got it off a hair dryer. |
I like a man who can poke fun at himself. Ooh, hey, my one o'clock canceled. Have you had any lunch? | Yeah, but I usually have three or four. |
LEADING HIM OFF) So, where to eat? You like Thai? | Tie good. You like shirt? |
When did you start liking Thai food? | When Trent Steel bought me some. |
Who's Trent Steel? | He's Max Power's oldest and dearest friend. |
What's this wrapped in a banana leaf? Mmm, smells like mint. | Oh, I spit my gum in there. |
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