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running down her dear cheeks, that it is in trouble and trial that our |
faith is tested--that we must keep on trusting; and that God will aid us |
up to the end. The end! oh my God! what end?... To work! To work! |
When Dr. Van Helsing and Dr. Seward had come back from seeing poor |
Renfield, we went gravely into what was to be done. First, Dr. Seward |
told us that when he and Dr. Van Helsing had gone down to the room below |
they had found Renfield lying on the floor, all in a heap. His face was |
all bruised and crushed in, and the bones of the neck were broken. |
Dr. Seward asked the attendant who was on duty in the passage if he had |
heard anything. He said that he had been sitting down--he confessed to |
half dozing--when he heard loud voices in the room, and then Renfield |
had called out loudly several times, "God! God! God!" after that there |
was a sound of falling, and when he entered the room he found him lying |
on the floor, face down, just as the doctors had seen him. Van Helsing |
asked if he had heard "voices" or "a voice," and he said he could not |
say; that at first it had seemed to him as if there were two, but as |
there was no one in the room it could have been only one. He could swear |
to it, if required, that the word "God" was spoken by the patient. Dr. |
Seward said to us, when we were alone, that he did not wish to go into |
the matter; the question of an inquest had to be considered, and it |
would never do to put forward the truth, as no one would believe it. As |
it was, he thought that on the attendant's evidence he could give a |
certificate of death by misadventure in falling from bed. In case the |
coroner should demand it, there would be a formal inquest, necessarily |
to the same result. |
When the question began to be discussed as to what should be our next |
step, the very first thing we decided was that Mina should be in full |
confidence; that nothing of any sort--no matter how painful--should be |
kept from her. She herself agreed as to its wisdom, and it was pitiful |
to see her so brave and yet so sorrowful, and in such a depth of |
despair. "There must be no concealment," she said, "Alas! we have had |
too much already. And besides there is nothing in all the world that can |
give me more pain than I have already endured--than I suffer now! |
Whatever may happen, it must be of new hope or of new courage to me!" |
Van Helsing was looking at her fixedly as she spoke, and said, suddenly |
but quietly:-- |
"But dear Madam Mina, are you not afraid; not for yourself, but for |
others from yourself, after what has happened?" Her face grew set in its |
lines, but her eyes shone with the devotion of a martyr as she |
answered:-- |
"Ah no! for my mind is made up!" |
"To what?" he asked gently, whilst we were all very still; for each in |
our own way we had a sort of vague idea of what she meant. Her answer |
came with direct simplicity, as though she were simply stating a fact:-- |
"Because if I find in myself--and I shall watch keenly for it--a sign of |
harm to any that I love, I shall die!" |
"You would not kill yourself?" he asked, hoarsely. |
"I would; if there were no friend who loved me, who would save me such a |
pain, and so desperate an effort!" She looked at him meaningly as she |
spoke. He was sitting down; but now he rose and came close to her and |
put his hand on her head as he said solemnly: |
"My child, there is such an one if it were for your good. For myself I |
could hold it in my account with God to find such an euthanasia for you, |
even at this moment if it were best. Nay, were it safe! But my |
child----" For a moment he seemed choked, and a great sob rose in his |
throat; he gulped it down and went on:-- |
"There are here some who would stand between you and death. You must not |
die. You must not die by any hand; but least of all by your own. Until |
the other, who has fouled your sweet life, is true dead you must not |
die; for if he is still with the quick Un-Dead, your death would make |
you even as he is. No, you must live! You must struggle and strive to |
live, though death would seem a boon unspeakable. You must fight Death |
himself, though he come to you in pain or in joy; by the day, or the |
night; in safety or in peril! On your living soul I charge you that you |
do not die--nay, nor think of death--till this great evil be past." The |
poor dear grew white as death, and shock and shivered, as I have seen a |
quicksand shake and shiver at the incoming of the tide. We were all |
silent; we could do nothing. At length she grew more calm and turning to |
him said, sweetly, but oh! so sorrowfully, as she held out her hand:-- |
"I promise you, my dear friend, that if God will let me live, I shall |
strive to do so; till, if it may be in His good time, this horror may |
have passed away from me." She was so good and brave that we all felt |
that our hearts were strengthened to work and endure for her, and we |
began to discuss what we were to do. I told her that she was to have all |
the papers in the safe, and all the papers or diaries and phonographs we |
might hereafter use; and was to keep the record as she had done before. |
She was pleased with the prospect of anything to do--if "pleased" could |
be used in connection with so grim an interest. |
As usual Van Helsing had thought ahead of everyone else, and was |
prepared with an exact ordering of our work. |
"It is perhaps well," he said, "that at our meeting after our visit to |
Carfax we decided not to do anything with the earth-boxes that lay |
there. Had we done so, the Count must have guessed our purpose, and |
would doubtless have taken measures in advance to frustrate such an |
effort with regard to the others; but now he does not know our |
intentions. Nay, more, in all probability, he does not know that such a |
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