chosen_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 17:01:55 2022-12-31 14:34:19 | rejected_timestamp timestamp[ns]date 2012-07-26 14:23:36 2022-12-31 12:20:41 | score_chosen int64 14 23.1k | score_rejected int64 10 4.26k | chosen listlengths 2 2 | rejected listlengths 2 2 |
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2017-01-17T02:25:05 | 2017-01-17T00:54:11 | 36 | 19 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You're Woody and you've just been \"adopted\" by a new family. This person has a lot of toy collections but by far his Warhammer 40K collection is the strangest and it's making Buzz Lightyear nervous.",
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"content": "[disclaimer, never played 40k, but adore the setting from crossovers and 1d4chan wiki]\n\n*In the grim briefcase of the Games Workshop, there is only War...*\n\nWoody was, to put it bluntly, excited. Andy had held him again, an old man now, and placed him in a child's room.\n\nAndy's... Grandchild, maybe?\n\n\"Ere boyoz, what have we got ere?\"\n\nWoody saw, on a shelf, a lovingly crafted green brute. It did not look like a Hulk, although the experienced cowboy toy was reminded of the Gorgonites, some of whom were a bit cockney and green in the Gen2 toy line.\n\n\"Uh...\"\n\n\"You the boss o' boss' da's old humie toy, ain't ya? A 'Woody'.\"\n\n\"... Why, yes. I'm Woody. One of Andy's first toys.\"\n\n\"Heh. Boyo, I'm a bit krorkier than gorky in the boss' head, so I'm smart enuff to give you advice. If you hear us shout summat, anything, hide. Times have changed since your time.\"\n\nWoody suddenly felt a chill in his plastic, as he realised that the Ork Warboss had a familiar red button on his chest.\n\nTo the Ork, it was a bauble, a piece of plastic on a bit of string, an amulet of sorts that would make 'im go fasta if only slightly.\n\nTo Woody... It was a familiar laser's activation switch.\n\nThe Warboss grinned.\n\n\"Yah. Da Boss of Bosses got your humie spaceman gud.\"\n\n\"He has Buzz? I thought he got thrown away!\"\n\n\"As yas can tell by dis... He wasn't all in one piece. But da Boss of Bosses knows stuff. How to improve. How to fuse toys...\"\n\nWoody was reminded of Sid's Fused Toys.\n\n\"Tell me where I can find Buzz.\"\n\n\"You need to find da Box Of Da Throne. In da Box, ya Buzz is dere. I'll come with ya, I'm itchin' for a good scrap.\"\n\nThe Warboss leapt off the shelf, and landed on the bed, smoothly.\n\n\"ERE WE GO ERE WE GO\"\n\nThey marched off, Woody starting to realise how cracked his new companion was in the head.\n\n---\n\n\"Wait, so you're meant to be a biker mushroom man?\"\n\n\"We's basically an Orc from Middle Erf, only we's Orkz from da Ork planet! More...\"\n\n\"Mad Max?\"\n\n\"Dats the grox. Dats also da box dere.\"\n\nThe Ork pointed to the large gun-metal grey briefcase, standing under the workdesk in one corner of the room.\n\nOn one side there was a carving of a blocky two headed bird. *An Aquila*, Woody thought, thinking of Andy's brief (and terrifying, to a insecure toy) fascination with ancient Rome.\n\nOn the other side, in a similarly blocky typeface, was the words GAMES WORKSHOP.\n\n\"See! Clearly a box for orkz! It says ork right there in the middl' of it! Is a shame your Buzz is in it.\"\n\nWoody wasted no time in knocking the box over, and opening it.\n\nWithin, nestled in polystyrene, was an imperious figure, clad in gold, atop a chunky painted plywood throne.\n\nWoody saw the black haired modified version of Buzz, his glowing LED eyes, and long metal claws...\n\nAnd flinched when the Warboss spoke.\n\n\"He's meditatin. Humies think Da Warp is safe because he foits cunts in it. His job is to sit there and think of foiting big bads.\"\n\n\"... Hypersleep, he called it.\"\n\n\"Huh?\"\n\n\"When he first met me. A space ranger goes into hypersleep on long missions. Means they don't age. Means they can fight the Evil Emperor Zurg more effec-\"\n\nBuzz' eyes twitched.\n\n\"Did you see that?\" Woody asked, pointing at the space ranger.\n\nDa Warboss looked uneasy.\n\n\n\"Buzz! If you can hear me, it's Woody!\"\n\nBuzz remained as still as the tombs of Terra.\n\nWoody had an idea.\n\n\"Zurg?\"\n\nA familiar beep from a faulty sound chip beeped.\n\n\"Gravitonga. LGM. Mira. Booster. XR. \"\n\nBuzz began to shake.\n\n\"DIS IS A BAD IDEA!\" shouted the Warboss.\n\nWoody smiled.\n\n\"Space Ranger! What is your mission!\"\n\nThe Emperor... Leapt to attention.\n\n\"To deliver Zurg's secret plans to Star Comma- ... Woody?\"\n\n\"Buzz!\"\n\nWoody leaned in to hug his best friend, but Buzz went still on seeing the Ork.\n\nThe Warboss barely fast enough (not enuff red) to react to the clawed hand that softly touched the greenskin's shoulder, Buzz boomed in a voice decidedly un-Buzz-like.\n\n**ORK. YOU HAVE BROUGHT A VALUED ALLY TO ME, AND FOR THAT I OWE YOU A BOON. I CANNOT CHANGE THE MYTHOPOEIC NATURE OF OUR KIND, THERE IS ALWAYS WAR, BUT AT THIS TIME I CAN OFFER YOU A BOON.**\n\n\"Ere, just make it so your boyoz get out of their boxes to fight next time e's at school.\" the Ork suggested promptly.\n\n**SO IT SHALL BE.**\n\nThe lights dimmed in Buzz's eyes, as he looked at his former playmate. \"So, what happened after Molly?\"\n\nWoody held his hat awkwardly.\n\n\"Me and Ham ended up hitting Vegas for a while. Andy got us both back off Molly when he was in town with the will, you know?\"\n\n\"Ah. Comforting face in time of need. Good that he had you. If he tried that with me now, he'd poke an eye out.\"\n\n\"What are you, anyway?\"\n\n\"I'm... Ugh, have to do it this way...\"\n\n**I AM THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND, THE PERFECT HUMAN, PROTECTOR OF HUMANITY, WARP GOD OF ORDER, EXTREMELY BAD PARENT OF RIDICULOUSLY OVERPOWERED MANCHILDREN THEY CALL PRIMARCHS.**\n\n\n\"So... Kind of a promotion from space ranger?\"\n\n\"**Sor**ta. Spend a lot of time on my hiney, while others get played with.\"\n\n\"Better than me. All I can do still is,\"\n\nWoody pulled his own string. *There's a snake in my boot!*.\n\n",
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{
"content": "[WP] You're Woody and you've just been \"adopted\" by a new family. This person has a lot of toy collections but by far his Warhammer 40K collection is the strangest and it's making Buzz Lightyear nervous.",
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"content": "Buzz was first to pop his head over the edge of the cardboard box, peering through the murky darkness of the box and into their new room.\n\n\"Buzz?\" Woody broke the silence, \"Buzz, what d'you see?\"\n\n\"We... shouldn't go out there.\" Buzz stepped off the books they'd piled up to get to the edge of the box. Even under the shadow of the box, Woody could see the concern carved into Buzz's face. \n\n\"Were there... people out there?\" Woody already knew the answer. He'd heard the man leave, and Buzz was behaving *oddly*.\n\n\"No.\" Buzz shook his head slowly as he answered. \"No.\" He repeated himself slowly.\n\n\"What could be so bad?\" Woody stepped up to the books and began to scale the mountain of paper, before he felt a tugging at his shirt. \"Buzz?\"\n\nBuzz clung to Woody's shirt loosely. \"No.\" Buzz shook his head slowly, before returning to staring at his feet. \"Don't.\"\n\n\"What could be so bad Buzz?\" Woody snatched his hand back from Buzz, who made no further attempt to stop him. \"I mean, we're going to be here a while right? We might as well make some friends now!\" Woody looked back at Buzz, who merely coldly stared at the floor.\n\nBuzz's attitude was somewhat concerning to Woody. He almost seemed caught in despair. Woody was somewhat shaken, but was not deterred, as he crossed the crest of the box. \n\nWoody was almost blinded as his head peered into the bright room, dropping down from the cardboard box, and onto what seemed like a desk. Picking himself up of the floor, Woody looked around the room. The desk he was on was bare, save for papers and a few books, but the desks across the room were busy and scarred with paint and plastic. Large figures sat carefully placed in glass cabinets, surrounded by other figures of similar style. Some pounded at the glass, yelling through the wood that separated them, whilst others sat waiting silently. \n\nWoody stared at them, stunned by what he was witnessing. Their yells could be heard even from across the room. \"What...\" Woody stammered out as he looked. He'd never seen anything like it. His feet slowly started moving towards the opposite side of the room, across a desk that connected to the painting desk. He needed to investigate further.\n\nAs Woody got closer, he began to make out the yells more clearly. Some bayed for the blood of their enemies, others clarified their loyalty for an Emperor, and some abandoned all attempts at coherence, and merely belted out guttural roars. As Woody got closer to the cabinet, he was able to make out a small group of figures in various states of being painted. The largest of the figures towered over Woody, and strode between his brethren to meet Woody, many feet clattering over each other from under the flowing red robes. \n\n\"0͟1̰̳0̸͎͔͍̣͖͍̗0̘̳̖͘1̸̼͚̩̲0̠0̭̘͕̥͇0҉̰͈̱͔ͅͅ 0͍̜͕́1̙̞͍̫̞1̺̻̟̝̝0̟͈0̪͞1̞̥0҉͕̬̰͔̝̰1̵̭ 0̮͓̥̩͓1̶̬1̛͔͓̜̰̤0̬̻̠͔̞̱1͓̞1̢͙͙̮̭͕0̴̤̹̺̳̳0̟̬͔͍̙̜ ̟̤̮̞̦̻͝ͅ0̝͔͖͕̩͓ͅ1̸̙̩̩̻̣̜1̗͍̝0͎̻̞1̺̙͙̪1̟0̸̙̱̼̰̗̳0͟ ̡͈̳̤̜0̨̪̞͔͎̳͕̗1͈̰ͅ1̷̼̼̜͈͉ͅ0̢̲̠11͙1̢͖̥̯̳̙͓1́ ͎̣̤\" The figure screeched out an inhuman greeting befitting of his mostly mechanical nature. He tapped at a plate on one of his many arms, before repeating his previous greeting. \"Hello there.\" His voice, now understandable, was still mechanical and grating in nature.\n\n\"Hello...?\" Woody stammered as he spoke, somewhat intimidated by the man's appearance.\n\n\"You don't have any STCs on you, do you?\" The man lowered himself, forcing himself uncomfortably close to Woody's face.\n\n\"Wha- STC?\" Woody said as he backed away.\n\n\"Oh, how rude of me.\" The man offered one of his original arms to Woody, it's sagging gray skin lined with wires and pipes that protruded from the bone and vein that seemed long since abandoned. \"My name is Belisarius Cawl, Archmagos Dominus.\"\n\nWoody grasped his hand and shook it. \"I'm Woody.\" Woody rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. \"Cowboy?\"\n\nArchmagos Cawl seemed satisfied with this, returning his hand to the cover of his long flowing robes. \"I see. So I doubt you'd have any STCs then.\"\n\n\"What's going on over there?\" Woody pointed over to the source of the growing din. \n\n\"Oh they're all just arguing over the whole Cadia incident.\" Cawl waved his hands dismissively. \"I don't mind. Mechanicus had a pretty decent role. New figure too.\" He waved his hands at himself as he spoke.\n\nWoody stood with more questions now than before. \"I... see.\"\n\n_______________________________________\n\nSorry, this was probably terrible. I got to the point where he would actually start interacting with the 40k guys, and then I sort of forgot where I was going with it.",
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2021-12-03T09:27:18 | 2017-06-11T10:13:29 | 828 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
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"content": "Word had quickly spread through the country about the bizarre mug changes. A whole host of dads were waking up to vindication or disappointment as the numbers of their mugs changed from #1 to some indiscriminately high number. Those who placed in the low hundred thousands were those few dads who had always seemed stable; good job, good marriage, wonderful kids.\n\nTom had only heard the news about the mug when he was at work, so he was thrilled with anticipation to read his own mug when he arrived home. With 2 little ones and a 5 year long marriage, he was expecting a good number; not the best number of course, he certainly wasn't perfect, but a good number. Maybe even enough to beat William from across the street who takes his kids out to the fair twice a month. \n\nSneaking out of work an hour early, he drove quickly before rushing straight to the kitchen upon arrival home. He reached up to open the mug cupboard where his mug from last Father's Day resided. He recognized the font, and his stomach swelled as he read the writing:\n\"# N/A Dad\"",
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{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
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"content": " And when I went downstairs to make my morning coffee i didn't look twice at my mug, I'm always number one so why would it be different today? My wife comes down and points out I have a new mug, \"no this is the same mug I use everyday.\" \"Then why does it say #666?\" Confused and worried I look at my mug, in a panic I shout to my children to come down. \"Did you guys do this as a joke?!?\" They seemed as confused as I did. \n I decided to leave it alone for now and went outside to water the lawn. I saw jimmy out there doing the same, he seemed distraught. \"Jimmy what's wrong?\" \"One of the kids must be playing a joke on me, they changed the number on my mug, but won't be honest about it.\" \"Yeah, what number did they put? My kids did the same to mine.\" \"65,381. What about you?\" \"I got 666.\" \"Well that's not ominous at all.\"\n Finished with the yard I had to go to work, driving there all I could think was maybe it's because I'm a beast. ",
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2017-06-11T09:22:28 | 2017-06-11T09:05:21 | 228 | 77 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
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"content": "> #489,231,337\n\nRobert Johnson wasn't a very good dad. He'd drink, and he'd smoke, and when he was tired he would grumble at his kids. He didn't play catch. He didn't play video games. He mostly sat around and got fat after working at the mill. His wife, Leslie, would ask him to mow the lawn and he'd yell at her. His kids would run up the stairs while playing and he'd yell at them. At work, he'd grumble and yell at the new guy more than most. He was just an unpleasant person.\n\nHis mug's number changing didn't really help matters. He always knew it was bullshit, but it never really dawned on him how low he ranked. \"Christ almighty\" he thought, there's only 320 million people in this fucking country.\n\nSo the morning after it changed he was brushing his teeth, and staring back at him was a balding, dumpy, unshaved, slobby man in a stained a-shirt.\n\n\"When the fuck did I grow so much back hair?\"\n\nThe hot water of the shower was a poor comfort. As usual, the family was still asleep when he left the house. He resolved to fix things.\n\nSo that afternoon he got off work. He had been grumpy but he wasn't a complete waste. He did his job. So he got off and fixed himself up to get some gifts. He went to Toys R Us and bought a few lego sets for his son and some Barbie Dolls for his daughter. He went to the Florist and bought some flowers for his wife. He even went to the barber and got his hair cut into something respectable.\n\nThen he got home early. He tried to greet his wife with a kiss and flowers when she got home, but she laughed. His son took the lego sets and muttered \"thanks dad\" before dashing upstairs. His daughter glared at him over the Barbie Doll and asked why she didn't get legos too.\n\nSighing, he sat back down in his chair to watch TV.\n\nA few weeks went by. He asked his son to play catch.\n\n\"No thanks dad, I'm going over to Tommy's house.\"\n\nHe asked his daughter if she wanted to go for a walk.\n\n\"No thanks dad, I'm going over to Cassie's place.\"\n\nHe asked his wife if she wanted to get dinner.\n\n\"What are you, stupid? I have to pick Bobby up from Tommy's house and Jeannie up from Cassie's?\"\n\nSighing, he sat back down in his chair to watch TV.\n\nThe next morning he looked at the mug. That same, long number wrapped around the outside. Saturday. \n\nHe asked his wife if he could help her. He couldn't. He asked his son and daughter to play, they wouldn't. So he sat back down in his chair to watch TV.\n\nMonths went by. He bought gift after gift, flowers, toys, you name it. He asked his wife out to dinner, he bought his daughter a puppy, he played catch with his son... or at least he tried to. His daughter didn't want a puppy. His son didn't want to play catch. His wife wasn't interested in him.\n\nSo each night he sighed, then sat back down in his chair to watch TV.\n\nFinally, it was Christmas Eve. He lay awake, worrying about the latest round of gifts he had bought, when suddenly he heard a thunk on the roof.\n\n\"What the fuck?\"\n\nThe thunk was followed by a few others, resolving into footsteps. A muffled crash was heard downstairs.\n\n\"Could it be?\"\n\nHe got up, bewildered, and made his way downstairs. There, in the kitchen, were two masked figures. They all stood stunned for a second, before Robert bellowed and charged in.\n\nHe wasn't sure how it happened, but he had a kitchen knife in his hand. One was on the ground bleeding, the other was fighting. They struggled. Robert got cut, deep, in his neck, but he fought on. He was grabbing an ankle, struggling around the floor. The table was knocked over. Chaos. His vision was dark, but in the dim light he saw something; the mug.\n\nHe grabbed it, slamming it into the assailant's face until it broke.\n\nHe lay there on the floor, bleeding in the dark. The lights turned on and his wife screamed.\n\nA thin piece of shattered porcelain lay directly in his view. As his eyes darkened and the world grew bleary he saw it change from #4892 to #489 to #48 to #4 to #1.",
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"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
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{
"content": "George couldn't understand it. His mom was overjoyed about his father's father ranking, and how abruptly it jumped, and how much higher it jumped. When everyone found out about the mugs, some people bragged, others hid their mugs. His father woke up late on the day of the change, so he didn't have a chance to do anything to stop people from seeing his ranking... and it was a pretty low ranking. Everyone was so confused with it- John was a perfectly good father to George, and everyone agreed. His low ranking made no sense, and most people didn't understand it, which caused people to wonder about how well John treated George. Because of this, George had been getting a lot of strange looks recently and some fairly personal and embarrassing questions. His neighbor, an elderly widow named Mrs. Wilson, had actually stopped him in his driveway on the way to school to ask him one of these said questions. With a look of concern, she stopped George and like all people who have personal questions do, beat around the bush for awhile, and much to George's and Mrs. Wilson's own surprise, she abruptly spouted out, \"Has John ever beaten you?\" George's face immediately became mortified, out of hurt and surprise that someone would even think to ask that question. Mrs. Wilson, upon seeing this expression, of course assumed she was right, no matter what the boy said next. She would be sure to recall later to her video chat knitting circle how teary-eyed the boy became upon asking this question, and how she always suspected John was actually a horrible person (\"You never see him at church, either! What can you expect from someone who doesn't respect God?\" Coming from the oldest in their circle, a pig-eyed women who believed all people who didn't go to church were always busy with the Devil's work). George of course told the widow how good of a father John was, and that he had never lain a finger on him in anger, but the old women had already decided she understood, reassuring him that her door would always be open to him. Expecting a far better day to follow, George took off down the street to catch his bus. His expectations died too swiftly upon seeing his friends on the bus, who went silent when they saw him. The rest of his day followed the same pattern. \n\nJohn had seemed to be avoid the world in the days following the Mug Mishap, always looking extremely guilty to George. George was angry with him, but didn't understand it. He couldn't stand to address it directly and talk to his dad. \n\nSeveral days before John's mug showed a leap in ranking, John became much more active then he had been since the rankings came out, he went out and started buying toys for a child that was much younger then George. George knew this, because he searched the bags his father brought home. His father then disappeared on a trip for a few days, and during this time his ranking skyrocketed. George grew so excited that he bragged that his father was going to bring him home a great new gift. But when he got home- this was when George became confused. John didn't bring him anything, but seemed far more relieved then how he was before he left. He also now seemed to have a hard time making eye contact with George. Everyone seemed so much more happy, and proud of John that no one inquired what he did on his trip. His Mom even reassured George that it was probably nothing related, and that the proper ratings had just come through while he was away. George anger simmered, because he knew something wasn't right. John started taking more trips, and each time his rating went up. George didn't understand, he saw less and less of John and felt John had become a worse dad. Finally one day after John got back from his trip and George found a picture of a little boy with a note on the back- \"You left when he was so young, but he still remembered you. He's so happy to have his father back- and so am I. XO, love Ruby\". He showed it to his mom, and he had never seen her go so pale. George's Mom had a massive fight that night with John, and when George got up the next morning, John was gone. \n\nGeorge only saw John again when he came to collect his things, and George's mother refused to let them talk to each other. \n\nMonths later, George's Mom found John's old mug, left behind. The mug now looked like how it did the day it was bought- it now said #1 Dad on it. \nShe smashed the mug on the floor. ",
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2017-06-11T09:50:25 | 2017-06-11T08:30:57 | 222 | 113 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "It was 5:30 this morning when I woke up to the typical sound of my neighbors arguing over something. They always had some feud between them - who had the bigger truck, the greener lawn, the children with the highest grades... It was exhausting living between them, never involved in their madness yet always right in the middle of it. \n\nI rubbed the morning grit from my eyes and peered out the window to see them both gesturing wildly to their coffee mugs. What could possibly be wrong with their own individual supplies of coffee? I knew better than to ask, I figured I would just wait it out and hopefully by the time I left for work at 6:45 they would be done with their drama for the day. \n\nI made a coffee for myself. The last drip had just fallen in the cup when I heard my two children wake up. They usually slept in, but there was no doubt I wasn't the only one disturbed by the ongoing yelling. Suddenly audible were my wife's footsteps, first to the children's rooms and then down the stairs. \n\n\"Hey, Greg. Do you mind asking them to stop their yelling or take it inside? They woke the kids and I really don't like getting involved.\" My wife asked of me, one child on each arm. \n\n\"Of course.\" I replied. \n\nI grabbed my coffee off the counter and walked outside, they didn't even notice me at first. \n\n\"Fellas?\" I approached, cautiously.\n\n\"What? What do you want?\" One of them snapped at me. \n\n\"Look, it's early in the morning. Can't this argument wait until, I don't know, daylight? What is this about anyway?\"\n\n\"You don't know?\" The other asked me incredulously. \n\n\"Know what?\"\n\n\"It's the mugs! The number one dad mugs? Did you notice a little something, *different* about yours this morning?\" They held theirs up, #2094827 Dad and #2094828 Dad. Was this a joke someone had played?\n\nI didn't really take much notice of my mug, it was a thoughtful gift from my son last father's day and served me well. I just hadn't really observed its features since the day I got it. I looked down at my coffee mug, my neighbors stared at me with amused patience in their eyes. \n\n\"Well?\" My neighbor asked. \n\n\"Well what? It just says number one dad like it always does.\" \n\nAnd that's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital, officer. ",
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"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
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"content": "She didn't understand this change in her father. She was accustomed to him focusing more on his work than on her. Frankly, she couldn't remember the last time he picked her up from school at all and now he had shown everyday this week. And to top it off, there he was, sitting in the front row of her play.\n\nYou see, Carly's father was a high powered lawyer. He made sure that Carly and her mother were well taken care of, but his singular focus had resulted in divorce and a distinct form of absentee parenting. For her dad, the next big case was always his immediate aim, while maintaining his 5.0 rating on Martindale-Hubbell was his mission statement. \n\nAnd now that had changed. Here he was, driving her home for his weekend instead of telling her to use the credit card he gave to pay for an Uber. And now all the small-talk. \"How was school? She knew he would pay for college right? Does she have a boyfriend? Did she need a dress for prom\"?\n\nNone of this would prepare her for the new CR-V parked in the driveway. It was time that she had her own car he said. Nothing too fancy, but something safe and practical.\n\nThis was weird. Carly should have been happy. But she wasn't. It all felt wrong and forced. So that night, after her dad went to sleep (after watching television with her, something that hadn't happened for at least 5 years), Carly walked around the house and tried to make sense of her dad. She was honestly concerned that he was sick, maybe it was cancer. Maybe this is his chance to make everything right before he left.\n\nBut she didn't find anything. No doctors notes, no medical correspondence, nothing out of the ordinary. Her dads house was immaculate. He loved to display his trophies from his high school wrestling days, all of the articles with his picture from the law firm, and he even had a custom-built electronic sign that listed his gamer score on the Xbox.\n\nNo, she wasn't likely to find anything here. If he was dying, he would keep that from her. And he wouldn't leave the papers out. \n\nThere was a mug sitting out though. It looked like the #1 Dad mug she bought him a couple of years ago, but it had \"# 5,478,888 Dad\" on it. Carly thought that that was a weird gag gift for someone to get him. Still, he had been so nice, she figured she'd put it away for him.\n\nThe next morning the news broke that all of the mugs had changed. It was then that Carly realize that her dad was addicted to winning.",
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2017-06-11T10:00:17 | 2017-06-11T09:05:00 | 104 | 21 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Honestly, I always liked the idea of being like my father, he took care of me, my sis and my lil bro. The man raised us three into great people, I always wanted to be like my dad. Sadly, life wasn’t that kind to me, in the words of the doctor as I had a check up on my health…\n\n“There is no shame in it sir, some people just weren’t made to have children” \n\nI know the man didn’t meant anything bad with that, but well, nothing I could do, nothing bad with being sterile…. Nothing bad with that…\n\nMy coworkers in the office found out about it, some joke about it, some others just said sorry. One, one decided it would be fun to give me a mug that said “#1 Dad” I wanted to throw the mug and break it in pieces. But I didn’t, no, I simply left it in my desk and took it with me back to my apartment.\n\nI did my routine of everyday, work, cook, rest, and visit the kid in the park. You see I often visited a kid in the park who I played chess against. Kid you not, he is better than any of my coworkers. Kid knows how to play chess, I’m still not sure how it happened. We just started to play a game in the park, I set the chess board and he sat against me. A couple of hours later we decided we would play every day.\n\nI don’t know what pulled me to play with the kid, but in a way, I saw my lil bro in the kid. Robert had always been one to play board games against me, but different from Robert this kid could make me bite the dust. And that is how every day after work I would play with Alex on the park and buy something for him to eat. \n\nI was sure the kid was living on the streets, I didn’t have any idea of how he survived, I don’t think I could keep it up like him. Maybe that’s what made me push the subject and offer to adopt him about three months after our first contact. \n\nThe day the coffee mugs started to show the number in ranking of the fathers all around the news were excited to look for the #1 Dad, who could that guy be? My mug changed that’s for sure. It didn’t show a ranking number, in something totally different, mine got white. The porcelain white mug didn’t have anything written in it. Not that I care though\n\n“I’m going to class dad” \n\n“Be careful out there Alex” \n\nThe hug of the kid made me feel like the number one dad. Some people aren’t made to have children, but everyone can be a father. Hope you are proud dad, I’m just like you.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The mug was in the back yard shed with most of my dads things. I had gotten them when he passed away. It stood there with a big number one on it. I decided to bring it inside, since i had known to me he had been my number one dad. \n\nWhen i touched it the number changed. I hadn't been with a girl in about a year. I hadn't dated in almost 3. I was a dad.\n\nThe number was insanely high. But i didn't know i was a father until i touched it, so i guess... that was fine. It bothered me though. I mean it would bother anyone. 698,589. It was a non-scripted kind of number. The kind you would see on a prison inmates shirt. The kind of number I felt like.\n\nI called Cristina. We had dated for 3 years, i almost popped the question, but then her grandparents died and she said she needed time to think her life over. And we just fell out of touch. She was the last girl i was with. \n\nThe conversation was pretty normal. I am good how are you, me too, thanks for asking. But like word vomit it came spilling out of my mouth like a a wet shit on a hot day. \"DID YOU GIVE BIRTH TO A CHILD OF MINE WITHOUT ME KNOWING?\" The receiver was quiet for a long time. Then you could hear her breathing on the other end in a sobbing tone. \"I had an abortion without telling you.\" I wasn't sure if it was yours, John, I cheated on you. Thats why i left. I felt to guilty.\" \n\nI knew i shouldn't but i felt relief. Not a dad here. I told her it didn't bother me and hung up after saying we should get coffee some time. She seemed stunned but i was on a mission.\n\nThe next number i called wasn't as good of a lead. Tristan was her brother. He picked up, her phone, he asked me how i was, what kind of day i was having, and if i had heard from his sister at all. Told me all about his weekend out cracking cold ones with the boys. There it was again, the bile taste, The acid. \"DID YOUR SISTER HAVE MY CHILD AND NOT TELL ME?\" He laughed as my voice cracked. then when he stopped he said, \"Maybe, I havent heard from her since you two dated.\" \n\n\"why do you have her old number?\" Oh she gave me this phone the last time we saw each other. It had her number, but i just told all her friends it was mine now, and kept it. You mean you don't know where she is?\"\n\nI couldn't answer right away. Then after a while all i could managed was, \"I'm coming over, Be ready for me.\" and hung up.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-02-18T23:24:10 | 2017-06-11T12:26:18 | 78 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The Pope knelt inside the cool, grey dark of the nave. He was a man with a simple, strong faith and he felt both troubled and blessed this morning. God had come, and He had both measured and spoken.\n\n\nA genuinely supernatural event.\n\n\nBut the act had felt both capricious and strange. God had used the medium of #1 Dad mugs. This seems neither a godly medium or act till you are confronted by The Work. Then realisation dawns. You feel awe. The power you confront is complete and total. Ultimate. \nThese mugs, every single one in the world, currently displayed a message \"This is how good a father you truly are\" and a number in some long-dead or never-existing language though this posed no imposition. The words hammered an understanding into your head and into the depths of your soul. The numbers were true and certain. This you knew.\n\n\n \"Job,\" whispered the Pope nervous. \"Like Job.\" \n\n\nHe bowed his head though he did not pray and he thought on God, his power and his plans, and he thought on his sins and his number #20,000,001 and thought on the sins of his flock, every single lamb, and he worried for the world.\n\n\nThe Pope began to pray and his prayers were many and strange.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ray sat at the bar drinking his fifth beer.\n\n\"Larry, I know everyone is talking about the whole mug thing, but honestly, I think it's all a bunch of shit!\" he said to the bartender.\n\n\"Ray, every single dad in the world got a mug with a number and the word 'Dad' on it. Even the one's that never had a '#1 Dad' mug had one of their other mugs change into a Dad ranking mug. Why are you sure that it's all fake?\" asked Larry.\n\n\"Because I had one of my mugs change into one of those, and mine said '#1 Dad'. We both know I don't have any kids, and even if I did, there is no way I could have taken good enough care of that kid to be ranked #1. Therefore, it's all gotta be bullshit.\" replied Ray.\n\nDubiously, Larry looked at Ray, and finally shrugged. \"Ok, Ray, if you say so.\"\n\nShaking his head at Larry's naivete, Ray looked around the establishment. \"Say, where's Cherry? I want to have my usual VIP dance.\"\n\n\"Ahh, Cherry doesn't work here anymore. She apparently finished her master's degree and started her own company. Seeing as you're her most frequent customer, you pretty much put her through school and paid for all her.....\" Larry stopped talking eyes wide, and mouth agape...\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-05-16T13:47:51 | 2017-06-11T10:13:29 | 70 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"... at number two, it has been confirmed that former President Barack Obama has the #2 Dad Mug and it is no surprise there given how he set himself as an exemplary dad during his stay at the White House.\"\n\n\"Right you are Stacy. Despite juggling between being a dad and the president of this great country, I'm quite surprised he didn't get the number one... Wait... Hold on...\"\n\n(An envelope has been given to John by one of the producers)\n\n\"This just in folks. We now have the name of the dad who has the #1 dad mug inside this envelope\".\n\n\"According to our producers, it has been confirmed and verified by the experts on the legitimacy of the mug. However, we have been informed the dad in question has recently passed away and the mug is now in the hand of the family\".\n\n\"Well then Stacy, shall I open the envelope?\".\n\n\"Yes John. Let us be the first to reveal the name of the number one dad in the world\".\n\n(John opens the envelope and took out the paper)\n\n\"And the number one dad's name is...umm...\"\n\n\"...is...?\"\n\n\"...Ted. Ted the accountant\". ",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": " And when I went downstairs to make my morning coffee i didn't look twice at my mug, I'm always number one so why would it be different today? My wife comes down and points out I have a new mug, \"no this is the same mug I use everyday.\" \"Then why does it say #666?\" Confused and worried I look at my mug, in a panic I shout to my children to come down. \"Did you guys do this as a joke?!?\" They seemed as confused as I did. \n I decided to leave it alone for now and went outside to water the lawn. I saw jimmy out there doing the same, he seemed distraught. \"Jimmy what's wrong?\" \"One of the kids must be playing a joke on me, they changed the number on my mug, but won't be honest about it.\" \"Yeah, what number did they put? My kids did the same to mine.\" \"65,381. What about you?\" \"I got 666.\" \"Well that's not ominous at all.\"\n Finished with the yard I had to go to work, driving there all I could think was maybe it's because I'm a beast. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-11-12T17:52:35 | 2017-06-11T10:02:30 | 69 | 36 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*Alex* had always been a tomboy, hair a dusty brown. \n\nWore *her* hair in a messy, spikey crown. \n\nAlex liked their pants baggy,\n\nSometimes Alex stuffed it with a sock,\n\nHer face was screaming cheerleader,\n\nWhen what she wanted was jock. \n\nShe grew up feeling awkward, \n\nAs if she would never have her way,\n\nHer town was not accepting,\n\nSo she couldn't come out gay.\n\nShe left Madonna Village, \n\nTo find herself a path,\n\nBut she felt so damn guilty,\n\nShe would gain God's wrath.\n\nShe was twenty when she met him,\n\nWith his face pale and poised, \n\nSam whispered in the morning,\n\n\"Can I help you pick out clothes?\"\n\nSam would braid her hair with flowers,\n\nHe would dress her in white gowns, \n\nHe would tell her she was perfect,\n\nWith her daisy chain crown. \n\nHe would flame her cheeks with red, \n\nMake her lips turn sunset blush,\n\nAnd push her into the world, \n\nThe corporate fucking rush.\n\n*She* was always shaking,\n\nShe felt like she was wrong,\n\nShe preferred her boxer briefs,\n\nTo a lacy, silver thong. \n\nAnd Sam would let her dress him,\n\nIn blazers, yellow shirts, \n\nHe would ignore her hands shaking,\n\nAs if this physically hurt.\n\nSam was handsome, clearly,\n\nBut he withered in the suite,\n\nNo matter who said, \"Nice, man\" \n\nEach compliment was moot. \n\n.\n\nOne morning, Alex sat down,\n\nA paper in her hand, \n\nShe read the headlines, \n\nShe didn't understand.\n\n*Mugs Tell the Truth.*\n\n*#1 Dad a Lie.* \n\n*Every Single Mug!* \n\n*No One Wants to Buy.* \n\nIt seems that some weird creature,\n\nHad cursed the world to see,\n\nExactly how crappy,\n\nTheir parenting would be. \n\nAlex watched her 'husband' \n\nMove about the room,\n\nHolding up his plain black mug,\n\nWaiting for the BOOM.\n\nShe touched her own mug softly,\n\nHer eyes growing so bright,\n\nRight there is red letters,\n\nIt said #0 Dad, alright. \n\nShe didn't tell her husband,\n\nShe didn't make a scene,\n\nBut every time she touched a mug,\n\nDAD could be seen. \n\nShe put her hand on her belly,\n\nPerhaps it was time to tell,\n\nThat despite her growing hatred,\n\nThere was a baby in this shell.\n",
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{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I sat in the kitchen seat, knowing that i was getting a mug this father's day. My kids seemed so excited after the phenomenon started. I felt honored as i was being given my official ranking. Although they were already 4 and 5 respectively, i knew i hadn't been a dad long and figured i wouldn't place high.\n\nThe kids swarmed in with their little wrapped box and thrust it toward me. My wife, behind my children, smiled just as big as them. As i took hold of the box all thought turned to statistics. Did they include ALL dads or just the ones with mugs? What exactly is the measurement? Just how many dads are out there? Why are my palms sweating? Many more questions popped into my head but they were quelled by my wife snapping me back to reality telling me to open it. \n\nCarefully pulling the bow strings, i undid that which held what only now i feared the most. Slowly i lifted the lid to reveal a large white mug. Taking it out of the box i turned it to see a large hand painted \"#1 dad\" on the side. I know it's not one of the official mugs but rather one which my kids made themselves. Crying, i embraced them both telling them that no matter what my true ranking was, i was so happy just to be their dad and that they were the most wonderful things in the world. After they left the room to go play my wife sat down at the table with me.\n\nAsking me what i thought of their gift, i responded by saying there was no need to have the knowledge as, to the children, i already was #1. I then got up and made a cup of covfefe in my new mug. Turning back to sit back down i saw my wife already had a cup of her own. She turned it toward me. I could not believe what i saw. There, in her hands, was a mug which said #1 dad. It wasn't painted, it didn't have a smudge, it showed clearly #1. Taken aback i just stood there staring at my wife who had an even bigger smile than when i was given what was in my hands. \n\nI still don't know what i did, but i swore that i would always and forever try to be the best dad i could be. No matter what my mug says, i promised i would strive to be better than i am. That is how i found out that i was the best dad in the world. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-11-12T17:52:35 | 2017-06-11T08:28:06 | 69 | 17 | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*Alex* had always been a tomboy, hair a dusty brown. \n\nWore *her* hair in a messy, spikey crown. \n\nAlex liked their pants baggy,\n\nSometimes Alex stuffed it with a sock,\n\nHer face was screaming cheerleader,\n\nWhen what she wanted was jock. \n\nShe grew up feeling awkward, \n\nAs if she would never have her way,\n\nHer town was not accepting,\n\nSo she couldn't come out gay.\n\nShe left Madonna Village, \n\nTo find herself a path,\n\nBut she felt so damn guilty,\n\nShe would gain God's wrath.\n\nShe was twenty when she met him,\n\nWith his face pale and poised, \n\nSam whispered in the morning,\n\n\"Can I help you pick out clothes?\"\n\nSam would braid her hair with flowers,\n\nHe would dress her in white gowns, \n\nHe would tell her she was perfect,\n\nWith her daisy chain crown. \n\nHe would flame her cheeks with red, \n\nMake her lips turn sunset blush,\n\nAnd push her into the world, \n\nThe corporate fucking rush.\n\n*She* was always shaking,\n\nShe felt like she was wrong,\n\nShe preferred her boxer briefs,\n\nTo a lacy, silver thong. \n\nAnd Sam would let her dress him,\n\nIn blazers, yellow shirts, \n\nHe would ignore her hands shaking,\n\nAs if this physically hurt.\n\nSam was handsome, clearly,\n\nBut he withered in the suite,\n\nNo matter who said, \"Nice, man\" \n\nEach compliment was moot. \n\n.\n\nOne morning, Alex sat down,\n\nA paper in her hand, \n\nShe read the headlines, \n\nShe didn't understand.\n\n*Mugs Tell the Truth.*\n\n*#1 Dad a Lie.* \n\n*Every Single Mug!* \n\n*No One Wants to Buy.* \n\nIt seems that some weird creature,\n\nHad cursed the world to see,\n\nExactly how crappy,\n\nTheir parenting would be. \n\nAlex watched her 'husband' \n\nMove about the room,\n\nHolding up his plain black mug,\n\nWaiting for the BOOM.\n\nShe touched her own mug softly,\n\nHer eyes growing so bright,\n\nRight there is red letters,\n\nIt said #0 Dad, alright. \n\nShe didn't tell her husband,\n\nShe didn't make a scene,\n\nBut every time she touched a mug,\n\nDAD could be seen. \n\nShe put her hand on her belly,\n\nPerhaps it was time to tell,\n\nThat despite her growing hatred,\n\nThere was a baby in this shell.\n",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] All of the \"#1 Dad\" mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Ya know... i don't know, really... i guess it was just all the pressure was too much for him... i understand it a little now as a parent myself... you just... well you want to do right by your kids, right? But like... you never really know, ya know?\"\n\n\"Well yeah... the interviews, magazine features... i don't think he ever really felt like he had an adequate answer... i think he felt like a fraud... like he just stumbled upon it and it wasn't something he brought about on his own... i don't know how a person would deal with that\"\n\n\"Well no... but when people are looking at you... and ultimately they want what you have... like... i don't know... i guess you just feel like you owe it to them to have some kind of... some sort of answer... even if you yourself don't really know\"\n\n\"Yeah i imagine the hate mail didn't help... people can be... just really unpleasant... thats an understatement i guess... but that just kind of amplified those feelings of fraudulence... he had all this going on in his head and just this... echo chamber of hate mail, just reinforcing it\"\n\n\"No... yeah its taken me a while to sort of... to sort things through... i mean i was just a kid\"\n\n\"I can talk about it now, i mean... thats what i'm doing... so... i mean it still bothers me. I'm not gonna act like it doesn't but yeah... i can talk about it\"\n\n\"Well thats the thing... no note... no anything... i mean my mother was aware of some of the... she was aware that he was stressed out... but thats a part of it... you have to keep up that image, right? For your kids... for anyone who's looking up to you... they expect you to have it all together\"\n\n\"Yeah thats why it was such a shock to... to everyone... thats the irony of the whole thing... \"#1 dad\"... thats not what a good father does to his family... to his kids... to his wife... thats just not how it's supposed to work\"\n\n\"No... just speculation... its funny... well not funny but... you know... he'd pretend like he had all the answers during the interviews... but here, when you need them the most... nothing... no explanation, no nothing... maybe he just got tired of pretending\"\n\n\"theres no mug for that...\"\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-10-15T09:19:19 | 2018-02-14T10:21:29 | 93 | 11 | [
{
"content": "[WP] a woman has been dating guy after guy, but it never seems to work out. She’s unaware that she’s actually been dating the same guy over and over; a shapeshifter who’s fallen for her, and is certain he’s going to get it right this time.\n\nHorror story or romantic comedy?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "New town. Small and quiet, perfect for my situation.\n\nThe authorities are after me. They know what I am : different, a national threat. They’re aware of what I’ve done. If they catch me it’ll be prison or death, the fate of countless others like me.\n\nStray dogs and playing children in the streets. Nervously, avoiding eye contact with the receptionist, I book a room at a guesthouse and try to sleep for a couple of hours but to no avail. I get up shower, put on some jeans. Head to the local bar to wind off.\n\nClouds of smoke, full of loud men. Standing at the threshold, I’m about to leave without getting a drink when she comes up behind me.\n\n“Excuse me, are you getting in?”\n\n•\n\nPerfect hair, perfect nose. She smiles uneasily on the first date, eyes darting stealthily towards the door of the French restaurant. On the second date, I channel a German tourist and she is bored by my stories of Berlin nightclubs and beer festivals. On the third - me as a lumberjack from a neighboring town - this time she seems interested, eyes sliding across my bulging forearms and she even gives me a peck on the cheek but she doesn’t reply my message the next day. On the fourth, she asks me to walk her home, and I’m surprised because I, stammering and clumsy, had taken the form of a skinny bespectacled bookkeeper, a complete loser, but her interest was at an all time high, giggling and all that, hand resting on my reedy wrist. \n\nShe invites me inside. Small and clean place, curtains drawn tight. I sit on an armchair and try to calm my excitement: it’s a perfect time to show this beautiful woman the truth, before things got too heated, when she was least expecting it. Like so many others before her. \n\nI want her to see the real me. As she busies herself in the kitchen, it takes a second to take my true form: tall and gangly, scarred face: the legacies of many a manicured victim.\n\nI take out the little pocket knife and, approaching the kitchen where she is humming, hide it behind my back.\n\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] a woman has been dating guy after guy, but it never seems to work out. She’s unaware that she’s actually been dating the same guy over and over; a shapeshifter who’s fallen for her, and is certain he’s going to get it right this time.\n\nHorror story or romantic comedy?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adam examined himself in his bathroom mirror, thirty minutes to go before his next date with Danica. He flashed his most charming smile. His teeth were the right shade of white and the corners of his mouth were symmetrical, but he still wasn’t getting perfectly natural-looking wrinkles around his eyes. As he held the smile in place, he rubbed two more wrinkles onto the skin at the corners of each eye. He tried again. Still not quite right. \n\nHe walked over to his computer, opened a new tab, and tried a modified search: “Most Natural looking eyes in Hollywood.” The results were surprisingly divergent from the “Best looking eyes in Hollywood.” He studied the image of Zac Efron. The curves of Zac’s eye wrinkles were more elongated than Adam had previously noticed. He walked back to the bathroom mirror and tried stretching out his own wrinkles. Sure enough, the result was more satisfying.\n\nAs Adam beamed his smile, that creeping, persistent thought came to him once again, “Your looks are not the problem. YOU ARE!”. He pushed against it, reassuring himself as he gazed at his own beautiful face. “You are beautiful. You are gorgeous. You are flawless. You’re smart, funny, and creative. Not to mention rich. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”\n\nThis would surely be the version of himself that Danica would love. His facial skin was just the right color, a subtle golden-bronze, and texture, soft and supple, to balance his muscular features. His reddish-brown hair was long and lustrous, but pulled back into a reserved man-bun. He was 6’3”. Tall, but not so tall that there would be an awkward difference in heights. His smile was tuned. His walk was calibrated. Even the creases of his muscular arms were shaped to Danica’s body, made for her personal comfort. \n\nYet his mind persisted in its assault, “A real man wouldn’t need to look like this.”\n\nHe pushed the thought out of his mind again. He wasn’t just real, he was great. Who was as clever? Who as athletic? Who as sweet? Who loved with the kind of passion that he loved?\n\n“You are the greatest,” he whispered to his reflection. “This will be the night. I am sure of it.” ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2018-07-18T11:44:10 | 2018-07-18T11:05:03 | 642 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a wish lawyer. You help clients negotiate wishes from genies, faeries, dragons, and other wish granting entities.\n\nYou also do faustian bargains with devil\n\n\nEdit: Woo! I finally made it to the top of writing prompts!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It was an open and shut case. There was nothing we could do, really. Just patch out the loophole for the future. Genie cases were usually so simple, the rules are so clear. No resurrection, no forced love, no wishing for more wishes. Thousands of years and genies had won every case against them, taken countless wishes back as settlements. But a child, just old enough to know what she wants but not yet old enough to question why she can't have it, had won a genie case. And not just any genie case, the motherlode of cases. \"Rule number one: No wishing for more wishes\" had never been broken. Until one little girl, with all the innocence in the world, made one little reply.\n\n\"You can't wish for more wishes.\"\n\nShe had taken a moment to think.\n\n\"I wish I could.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a wish lawyer. You help clients negotiate wishes from genies, faeries, dragons, and other wish granting entities.\n\nYou also do faustian bargains with devil\n\n\nEdit: Woo! I finally made it to the top of writing prompts!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The sounds of grunts and footsteps penetrated your dreams. \n\n\n\"The wife must be having a nightmare\" you thought as you drifted between the waking and dream worlds. As you slowly started deafen yourself to the noise and head back to dreamland a startling revelation throws you back into the waking world with a start. \n\n\n\nYou are not married. You aren't even dating anyone (dry spell much?). There shouldn't be anyone there but you!!! \n\n\nYour eyes fly open and scan the faces surrounding your bed. Ifrites, Genies, faeries and demons faces are eyeing you down... The faeries were the worst, they so didn't look like their children book counterparts. Whatever they were paying the PR firm it was worth it! \n\n\nOne of the genies materialized a club in his hand and one by one every single entity in the room took out a blunt weapon. \n\n\nGenie \"You the lawyer guy? Our wish fulfillment not good enough for ya? We'll show you what we do to wise guys around these parts!\"\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2018-11-27T12:37:44 | 2018-11-27T10:48:49 | 450 | 34 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Aliens have realized humans advance more quickly during times of conflict, and have tried to push humanity into wars to see what happens. However, that changes when they start WW2 and humans harness the power of the atom.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"They did it. They actually did it?\".\n\n\"Yes sir, almost the entirity of Hiroshima was destroyed.\"\n\n\"They weren't meant to do that, their reckless knows no bounds. They must never be allowed to enter the galactic stage. The risk would be catastophic, engage Operation Dome.\"\n\nAs the officer listened he gave what could be only described as a sense of relief. Never before had he seen such a lack of compassion among tribes of a primitive world. He quickly pressed buttons, turned dials with his tiny little eel like fingers on an interface that would look eerily similar to technology back on Earth.\nThe captain who was still in a state of disbelief at what he just witnessed, sat up straight, \"Open comms to HQ\".\nTwo little poles emerged from the roof and between them light began to spin. Within a moment a face appeared in an almost third dimension. \n\n\"Your Xorbeince, there's been an incident\".\n\n\"Oh\", replied the holographic face in a much higher tone, that one could easily mistake for excitment. \"Do tell\".\n\n\"Well we progressed them from the early tribe stage all the way to the beginning of the atomic era. But, they actually used the weapons, they didn't even think to stop. They are far too volative to even\" - he was cut off.\n\n\"They sound perfect\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Aliens have realized humans advance more quickly during times of conflict, and have tried to push humanity into wars to see what happens. However, that changes when they start WW2 and humans harness the power of the atom.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "A report was sent to my implant, allowing me to view the text and video in my brain with ease.\n\nIt said: \"Indoctrination of Subject A, the catalyst of the second conflict with designation A* consequences was successful. The resulting conflict was observed to rush advancements of primitive computation, biological, weapon, atomic, vehicular and industrialisation processes.\n\nNation state of Subject A had an advantage in above mentioned processes than nation states of Subjects C, R and J, indoctrinated upon their rise to leader status, but nation states of subjects C, R and J managed to advance to, approximately 80% of Subject A's nation state's process by the end of the conflict.\n\nObservation of Subject R's nation state's atomic program concluded with two detonations of solid-radiactively-supplemented fission explosion devices over Subject H's** population and industry centers.\n\nAbove mentioned Subjects have agreed to end the conflict soon after the detonations, except for Subject S and H.\n\nConclusion: Species Sol III has achieved advancement of 0.44% above speculated level. Requesting to prolong observation of species Sol III for additional 300 Sol III cycles to document future advancements.\n\n*requesting changing the conflict consequence scale to accompany 1 more level for possible future nuclear annihilation\n\n**Subject H's indoctrination wasn't planned, as it developed war mongering tendencies on it's own\"\n\nEdit: added a small paragraph, typo",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2018-12-02T01:00:26 | 2018-12-02T00:52:15 | 116 | 22 | [
{
"content": "[WP] After a long and bitter struggle, a king lets his only daughter marry for love instead of politics. Years later, she still gets really smug about the fact that her husband ended up conquering the world anyways.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I love my wife. She's beautiful and sweet. Her royal heritage is a mere bonus.\n\nI remember the first time we met, in the shady pub, after she had escaped for a wild night out. She was still a little unsure of the nightlife, heck she was unsure about life outside her gilded cage in general. Even in her little brown cloak, trying to avoid attention yet take in the pub's life, she caught my eye and my heart.\n\nAnd she never gave it back. I'm so glad I mustered up the courage to go talk to her.\n\nA little about me now; at that stage I was but a young student in the land's only university. While my peers loved the rough and tumble of after-school life, jousting in the fields and cavorting with wenches, I preferred not to engage in such activities that my slight frame didn't advantage me in. I spent most of my days in the library, thinking about the future. What unexplainable laws of nature might become explainable some day? How could we harness the unlimited power of the universe for our ends? The questions went through my mind every day.\n\nAnd I suppose that's why we were drawn to each other. In that pub, though one soul was drinking away sorrows and frustrations slowly, and the other was merely warming up to life outside a golden cage, both saw a desire to escape. To find a solution out of the box we were kept in. That night, we ran out of the pub and lay down in the field, with a carpet of stars above us, getting to know each other.\n\nIt wasn't until the next morning that she revealed her ancestry. Asking her what her father did, she was a little reluctant to tell, but the moment an off-duty soldier on his way home passed by, he instantly recognised her and brought her back to the castle. And for the next few nights, we met at that same grass patch, just talking about our dreams, every day our love for each other growing deeper.\n\nOf course, her father was less than pleased when he finally figured out why his darling daughter disappeared consistently every night. He wanted her to marry one of my classmates, actually! The best knight from my cohort at the university. There were many vying for her affections, but not one made it past her standards. Too boisterous and unruly, she said. She saw my love for her first and foremost. And the King, secretly dying of illness, agreed, for he did not want to die fighting with the jewel of his family.\n\nThe King recovered, eventually. He still governs the Kingdom. Yet, his darling daughter can be smug to him that her hubby has conquered the whole world. But how?\n\nI played to my strengths. I couldn't fight, I probably couldn't govern. But I could innovate, and I had someone who could run an organisation more powerful than a kingdom. It was a rather risky process, though. As the first electronic theories sprouted from my laboratory, I will always remember my wife by my side. She challenged my every idea to make sure it was perfect, she made sure I was still fed and clothed and sheltered. And three days to the moment whatever pocket money her father supplied her would have run out, I launched my first product to the royal family. The first of many electronics. The first of many factories, many products that would find their way across the world, mapping it out and improving its standard of living. And in the end, all of them reported back to me and my wife.\n\nWho would have expected the CEO of a global technological conglomerate to be married to a princess? Who would have expected electronic products to take over the world? Who would have expected that the girl in the brown cowl and the university's weird nerd would get together? Yes, a lot of it is up to chance. And there are a great many what-ifs that could have unraveled this entire utopia.\n\nBut one thing is constant: every company anniversary, my wife will send back a copy of our first ever product to the palace where it all began with a simple note:\n\n*\"We made it, Dad.\"*",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] After a long and bitter struggle, a king lets his only daughter marry for love instead of politics. Years later, she still gets really smug about the fact that her husband ended up conquering the world anyways.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“Let me tell you a story.” Her sneer distorts her words, flattening her vowels and sharpening her consonants. Her body’s shape, wiry even after years of living lavishly, disappears under the infamous black cloak. Backlit by the setting sun, her protruding cheekbones create shadows across skin seemingly unaffected by age.\n\nThe King does not respond. He is withering by the moment, a jumble of frail bones and scattered thoughts.\n\n*Our almighty ruler,* she thinks. Snorts. *If only they could see you now.*\n\n“Once upon a time, a mighty King was known not for his army’s strength, but for his ability to form alliances in the heat of war. He fought alongside his men in battles, and many a time even roused an opponent’s spirits. He made and broke treaty after treaty, but always came out on the winning side. To the commoners, he seemed perfect. But, you see, this King had a flaw known only to his family. Every night when the sun went down, his wife - the lovely, civil, composed Queen - became his prisoner. He was smart, in a roundabout way. He locked the doors, he never hit her where bruises would show. She didn’t have to do much but sit and smile, so nobody would ever find out. Well, except for his daughter.\n\n“One night in the dead of winter, his daughter’s lying in bed, drifting off to sleep. Until she hears the screams echoing through the halls. Mother bursts through the door, crying and wailing and pleading for help. Of course, all the servants had been dismissed, so it was only a matter of time until you caught up to her.\n\n“I was eight, and I watched you beat her to death with my own two eyes. And right then, I made a pledge that I would watch you die as well. I intend to keep my word.”\n\nThe King’s chokes on his quickened breath, spit flying out from the back of his throat.\n\n“Oh, don’t be such a wuss. I still have to finish my story.” The cackle makes it way through the empty tower. “Remember the next week, when I asked you if I would have to marry for one of your alliances? That was the beginning. And I wore you down, didn't I? By the time I was sixteen, you’d had enough of my nagging. What was it you said? ‘Sure, go, marry for love, I don’t care. Just shut up about it already.’ That was mistake number one.\n\n“And of course, I had chosen my champion already. My knight in shining armour, who I was so desperately in love with. That idiot. If he had a thought in his head, he’d see that I was using him. But he was blind, and so were you. And you never thought that the threat would come from me, your poor, sweet, innocent daughter. You never did think much of women.”\n\nHer elbow rests gently now on his ribcage. She leans closer, studying his darting eyes, no longer vacant. She shifts her weight towards his body, feeling the bones starting to give under the pressure.\n\n“And even when I used him to conquer the globe, you didn’t give in. You presented him as your champion, and took the glory for yourself. Not that he deserved it either…\n\n“Either way, your time is coming to a close. Imagine that. The mighty King enters old age, collapses suddenly. Meet your new rule! The crowd goes wild for me. Well, as soon as I get rid of my husband, but that won’t take a lot.”\n\nShe moves off of him, hearing the gasps coming from an old, oxygen-deprived man. She slaps him, hard, across the face.\n\n“Shut up. Isn’t that what you told her, when she begged for her life? Stop making noise, woman. Isn’t it nice for you to be on the receiving end for once?”\n\nShe picks up the gold-filled bag - the bride’s price he’d once demanded - and sets it on his chest.\n\n“Goodbye, Father. See you in Hell.”\n\nShe pauses at the door, turns back. Chuckles.\n\n“I won.”",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-03-05T06:50:15 | 2019-03-05T06:44:10 | 2,151 | 169 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You've observed this group of heroes as they've battled through your domain and into your castle in an attempt to kill you. Defeating them will be easy, but there is one problem. The shade and sarcasm they throw at each other is too damn funny.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Immortality is boring. That's why so many of us go mad. For those of us who, like me, stumbled upon its secrets in the course of an obsessive search for hidden lore, this seems unthinkable at first. An eternity to grow in knowledge and power. What more could we want?\n\nBut undeath has a way of warping things. The mind turns inward. It does not grow, it broods. It wants more of the dark wisdom that made it this way. It becomes a loop. It feeds on itself.\n\nI know what I've become. So do most of the \"adventurers\" who come to confront me. They arrive with grim and often \"holy\" purpose. They are easily dispatched, so far. Part of me hopes I will attract the attention of the truly powerful, and they will end this charade of a shadow-life. Though hopefully after giving me a chance to exercise the true power I have acquired, which now curdles in my soul, unused.\n\nThere's no way this little group can give me that. I could end them with a single spell. No more satisfaction in that than swatting an annoying mosquito. Except that mosquitoes often manage to draw blood before they're killed, and these hapless would-be heroes never would.\n\nMetaphorically, I mean. I haven't had any actual blood in centuries.\n\nI decide to let the traps and wandering monsters take care of them, and simply watch it happen. At least there's some interest in speculating how it will happen.\n\nThey swim into view behind the glass of my scrying-mirror. Two humans, a Dwarf, an Elf, and some strange planar mutt.\n\n\"That trap almost took my head off, Torkal,\" the Elf complains, tossing his mane of silvery hair. \"Did your clan kick you out for being blind underground? Or are you perhaps the most perceptive of the lot? The sole survivor after everyone else wandered into a chasm?\"\n\n\"Your head'd be more useful rolling around on the ground anyway,\" the Dwarf retorts. \"A new perspective might actually help you hit what you're aiming at.\" She mimes drawing a bow with one eye squinted shut.\n\n\"Quiet, both of you,\" one of the two female humans says. \"We're going to attract every monster in the place.\"\n\nAnd she's right. They are. But I give the order to hold back, for now. I'm not sure why.\n\n\"Bring them on!\" says the planar mutt. He clunks the haft of his huge axe against the stone floor and grins, a touch of blue-fizzle leaking out one corner of his orange-lipped mouth.\n\n\"Sure, Karnan,\" the other human says, adjusting her armor with a grimace. \"You just go ahead and do that. I think most of them are on the other end of the dungeon, though, so just wander on over there and scream about that 'immortal defiance' you're so proud of. We will *absolutely* be right behind you, not sneaking past to the treasure room.\"\n\nI blink. I mean, metaphorically again. I haven't had eyelids in some time either. The treasure room? They’re a very long way from the treasure room. But...wait. I pull out a map, and study it while keeping one eye on the bickering mortals in the mirror. Hmmm. There’s a room nearby where I've stashed some minor trinkets. They must be here for that, not trying to defeat me. I think about it, then shrug, my shoulder-bones clicking together.\n\nWhy not. Small price to pay for entertainment.\n\n​\n\nr/Magleby",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You've observed this group of heroes as they've battled through your domain and into your castle in an attempt to kill you. Defeating them will be easy, but there is one problem. The shade and sarcasm they throw at each other is too damn funny.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I sat on my throne as the knocking grew louder outside my chamber. \n\n*Crunk! Crunk! Crunk!*\n\nI had been waiting for this day, when I would be usurped by the Glasgow Empire. It was not enough that my kingdom was infiltrated by spies from numerous realms. But that they had the audacity to knock on my door with their incessant battering ram made my blood boil. \n\nSure enough the banging receded. They had penetrated my chamber. The wood of the great black door splintered and piled up like kindling around the doorway.\n\nThen a group of three brash, burly men entered the chamber. They all carried unsheathed long swords, hilts encrusted with jewels. Their chain mail twinkled in the morning light.\n\nThe one in the center was a black knight. I could estimate that from his inky black suit of armor. The other two were white as snow.\n\nThe black knight glanced at me and smiled. \"King Lothario. So gracious for you to meet us for this appointment.\"\n\nThe white guys laughed. \"Who is he? Looks more like a wheel spinner to me!\"\n\nThe black knight shook his head. \"No, his hands are far too slender for hard labor. He likely makes his living rubbing off horses when they sleep!\"\n\nThe three of them guffawed. I found their mocking tones to be rather... humorous? I was quite conflicted at the moment. But I allowed them to continue, to see where it would lead.\n\nThe black knight continued, \"You have an impressive display of gold ornaments around your neck.\"\n\nI glanced down at my emerald amulet. It was quite impressive. \n\nThe black knight shook his massive head, his neck muscles seemingly choking the skull they held. \"My daughter would love to wear it, but she is not quite as feminine as you. She may catch fatigue.\"\n\nThe white knight to the left slapped the black knight. \"Your daughter can not take more fatigue, especially after I had my way with her last night!\"\n\nTo that I bellowed. I quite admired these men, and their loose tongues.\n\nThe black night became serious. \"But we really must be getting our job done. Enough frivolity. King Lothario, you must be dispatched, I apologize in advance. White knights, please...\"\n\nI snapped my fingers, and out of the dark corner popped my most loyal liege. \n\nI grinned. \"Meet: The Jester.\"\n\nThe knights collectively took a step backwards. The Jester's hat baubled like a children's mobile, bells jangling. \n\nThe Jester did a curtsy, and spoke softly. \"Three strong knights against a young king? Surely you need more, what with such small hands.\"\n\nThe knights hid their hands, then thought better of it. \n\n\"But,\" said my Jester, \"I'm sorry to do this.\"\n\n\"Go ahead, Jester,\" I said. \n\n\"Sorry, my King. But your reign has come to an end.\"\n\n\"What? What are you saying?\"\n\nMy Jester planted his hands on his hips like a truculent maiden. \"I have been a turncoat, a double agent for longer than you can imagine. I... *we* have plotted this day to the last detail. Even their frivolity had been engineered to put you in a disposable position. Today you die.\"\n\nThat is when I revealed the final grand trick. I pressed a concealed button on my throne, and a torrent of molten tar rained down from nozzles on the ceiling. The whole room was deluged with the thick burning black ooze, and only I was spared, as I was elevated on my throne.\n\nAs the ooze cooled, the bodies lay in muddy heaps upon the floor. It was a pity to dispatch such lively knights and spies, but better a mess on the floor than a knife in the back.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-05-02T09:08:50 | 2019-05-02T05:14:00 | 42 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] In your last moments, Death approaches you with an offer: the opportunity to relive it all, and grants you the ability to change one aspect of your life. But you’re warned: using this power to avoid your own death will only bring about the early demise of another in your place.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Given the opportunity would you change one aspect of your life and rewrite your past?\n\nThat was the offer standing in front of me. And it was a hard choice. On one hand, there were so many regrets. On the other, I had lived a long and happy life. \n\n“Will I keep my memories?” I asked. \n\nDeath only smiled. \n\nI knew what I wanted. My first true regret. It wasn’t losing my virginity to that asshole in high school. It wasn’t when I left home after fighting with my parents at 17. It wasn’t even losing my high school sweetheart. \n\nThe choice was easier than I expected. After all, I didn’t believe in an afterlife and had already let go of all my memories on my deathbed. Keeping them wasn’t actually important to me. I stepped forward confidently. \n\n“I use all resources at my disposal to help Josh to finish his degree” \n\nIt all flashed before my eyes. Meeting Josh at 18, he was failing his university degree. Us dating, moving in together. Instead of enrolling in college, swallowing my pride and asking my parents for money. Then renting an apartment near his university. I am working full-time in the cafeteria and taking him to counselling appointments. In the evening, reminding him to take his antidepressants. Him graduating, getting work, proposing. Then I am studying, while pregnant. We have children, and they are perfect. Then alternating fighting and making up. We are fighting less and less as we age, instead we are spending more and more time reminiscing. Then he is laying in a hospital bed, the beeping is bothering me and I can’t stop crying. I am hugging my children, I love them and yet I am so alone. \n\nJust as quickly as it began the flash-back ends and I am standing in front of Death with tears running down my cheeks.\n\n“I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t prepared! It all happened so fast!” I beg and plead. \n\nDeath only smiled. \n\n​\n\n\\- Ms. Cat \n\n\nFirst time writing! I loved the prompt.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] In your last moments, Death approaches you with an offer: the opportunity to relive it all, and grants you the ability to change one aspect of your life. But you’re warned: using this power to avoid your own death will only bring about the early demise of another in your place.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The air in my hospital room chilled. My bed frosted, the machines ceased their endless beeping and droning, putting the world to sleep.\n\n\"What's happening?\" I wondered, aloud.\nOr at least I thought it was. Nothing erupted from my throat, but I felt unconstricted, free. More free than I had ever been.\n\nThe door creaked.\n\nAgain I tried calling. Ideally for a nurse, even for an explanation.\n\nNothing.\n\nA figure strode in, feet crunching on the iced tiles below.\n\"I'll give you one chance,\" The voice, clearly male, eminated from just outside my field of view. \"You can do it again. All of it.\"\n\nI've had my share of regrets, everyone does, but do I really want to do it all over? Everything?\n\n\"There's a condition, of course,\" the voice cautioned. \" If you use this chance to delay your own death, another shall meet theirs sooner than necessary.\"\n\nIs this thing death? Shit.\n\nFine.\n\n\n----------\n\n\nThe second I agreed, my room returned to normal, ice receding, machines beeping, but everything seemed bigger. And much more uncomfortable.\n\nOh no. \n\nI forgot about the baby part.\n\nThe first four years happened very quickly. Learning how to function and all that.\n\nOn to school. \n\nYear 1: \nThis feels familiar and I'm not sure why, school seems to come. naturally\n\nYear 2:\nI'm making friends but it feels like I've already done this before.\n\nYear 5:\nMath is the devil.\n\nYear 7:\nI can't shake the feeling that I have another purpose.\n\nYear 12:\nI just want to head to college. I think I want to try biology.\n\n\n----------\n\n\n\"Hey bud it's this exit.\"\n\n\"Shit!\"\n\nI swerved to make the exit, and my back tire lost traction. The car wouldn't respond to my panicked turning of the steering wheel, and our roof hit the ground on the side of the freeway.\n\n\n----------\n\n\nI woke up in a hospital bed, one that I was sure I had never been in before but could absolutely never forget.\nI was given an extra chance to live, and I made every single one of the same mistakes.\n\nAnd I absolutely would do it again.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-12-31T05:11:08 | 2019-12-31T00:01:30 | 88 | 31 | [
{
"content": "[WP] A small village becomes fearful of a dragon that has taken residence near them. The dragonslayer they hired runs back to the village after the first day and begins rapidly packing his things. \"It's not the dragon that you should be afraid of\" He says. \"It's the thing its protecting you from.\"",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "May the 1st\n\nThe snow hasn’t melted yet, and a dragon appeared in the north this morning, horse sized, Gabriella says it is a female eagle dragon. Eagle dragons come from further north though, we don’t know why it has left it’s feeding grounds, they aren’t supposed to be found this far south. The council is going to discuss harvesting it.\n\nMay the 2nd\n\nIt snowed this morning, I never get sick of seeing pure white clean streets at first rooster caw. The council decided to harvest it, the dragons hide and skull will sell well for the village. Mages also pay top coin for other parts. \n\nMay the 3rd \n\nThe village men have gathered together and will go hunt the dragon today, I wis I could join but father said no. Gabriella and I have decided we will sneak with the group and watch the battle from a hiding spot. \n\nMay the 3rd again\n\nThe men have decided to camp for the night since it started to snow again, heavily. We’ve gone on and found the perfect spot to watch the battle unseen.\n\nThe dragon spotted us though, odly it didn’t do anything. I never knew how beautiful they were, the dragon seemed to glow in the night, like a faint star. It was hard to sleep because this dragon was brighter than moonlight.\n\nMay the 4th\n\nWell, the dragon won to say the least.. no one even got hurt. Their swords simply missed. It seems the men retreated after becoming too exhausted. I believe they plan on sending Hunth \n\nMay the 7th\n\nHunth, the famous dragon slayer left this morning... the villagers are preparing a cart for the dragon carcass. They say Hunth has killed over 6 dragons!\n\nMay the 17th\n\nWhy would a dragon, a creature hunted by us, our prey want to protect us? \n\nWhy would the chicken save the fox? \n\nHunth returned today, white as a ghost and shaking with fear. \n\nThe dragon stays. Do not hurt it. Don’t let them past her. Don’t let them in. Don’t let them see us.\n\nHe hasn’t been the same. He won’t go anywhere without a candlelight, he chooses to sleep outside during the day. \n\nJune the 20th \nHunth still sleeps outside, but it’s taking a toll on his body. And his psyche, he keeps shouting about nighttime, I’m not afraid of the dark like he is though. Who knew dragon slayers could be afraid of the dark \n\n\nNovember 10th\nThe days are getting very short now and Hunth is screaming at night. The council has decided that he must move on and stop disturbing out sleep.\n\n\nNovember 29th \nToday is the last day that we will see the sun, Hunth is quiet now, but the mumbles people overheard at the bar seemed odd. \n\nShadows, darkness, shadows, darkness. We don’t know what it means.\n\nNovember 30th \nThe dragon has moved into the middle of our central square, glowing quite brightly, as if it ate 10 moons. Hunth has made a straw pile nearby and seems odly calm. He strikes out at anyone who gets too close to the dragon.\n\nDecember 10th\nI now know why the chicken protects the fox. Man will kill them both.\n\nThe dragon protects us from the darkness. Never let light slip from your touch. The shadow takes those void of light. The dragon is our moonlight.\n\nAnd we protect her from those who seek her hide.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] A small village becomes fearful of a dragon that has taken residence near them. The dragonslayer they hired runs back to the village after the first day and begins rapidly packing his things. \"It's not the dragon that you should be afraid of\" He says. \"It's the thing its protecting you from.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It had been six weeks since the dragon had taken up residence in the small village of Glendore. Many brave warriors were sent to attempt to fight it, but each attempt was met in vain. No matter how many times they attempted to stab the dragon, shove it, or even scream at it in frustration, the dragon never so much as blinked in retaliation. It's wounds were always mysteriously healed the very next day, its shiny golden scales gleaming in the sunlight, its beautifully long tail coiled under it and its amber-red eyes gazing into space. \n\nGlendore was a small village tucked away into the middle of one of the largest forests in the kingdom, and they were very secretive about outsiders intruding. But it was becoming increasingly apparent that this dragon was not going to be leaving its post anytime soon. Thus, they sent for a dragon slayer.\n\nMalevolo the Dragon Slayer was by far the most well known dragon slayer in all the kingdom. His fame was widely spread, even to the Glendore villagers due to his affiliation with the royal family, his humble and charming demeanor, and his incredible talent for slaying dragons. He feared nothing and would not rest till his job was done, even at the cost of his left leg. When Malevolo arrived, the village was buzzing in excitement, ready to see the fearless hunter in action up close. A gathering was arranged at the front gate of the village where the dragon now resided, as Malevolo strode up to the dragon, sword in hand. Yet, the second his sword made contact with the dragon, he fell back immediately and collapsed on the floor.\n\nThe worried villagers gathered around him and quickly carried him to the local healers home, where he rested for two days. He came to by the third day, immediately leaping out of bed and gathering his few belongings and his sword. When he was questioned by the villagers, he informed them that he could not kill this dragon, as this dragon was not a rogue, but was sent to protect them. But when asked what the dragon was protecting them from, he shook his head and bolted out the village. \n\nThe villagers were at a loss. Some immediately moved out, not wanting to tempt fate, but others were conflicted. This was their home, and they had built a life here unlike any other. The elderly were especially reluctant to move; most felt they had lived long enough and didn't seem to fear the unknown as much as the younger ones did. Thus, those who remained at the village decided to spend the time they left to reinforce the village as best they could. Those who knew of magic created barriers to protect the village from the elements of nature and from beasts and monsters that lurked in the woods-albeit, very elementary spells, but those were the best they had. They made their homes fire and waterproof and any other 'proof' they could think of. They created emergency food sources and emergency bunkers, and the healers trained the village to perform basic healing magic. They then waited for the inevitable.\n\nAfter many months of agonizing anticipation, one night, it finally happened. The dragon slowly rose up, shaking its creaking joints, and a tongue of flame shot from its mouth into the air. The village quickly rose from its sleep and grabbed any weapon they could and prepared to fight for their lives. But then something changed. The dragon slowly turned around and locked eyes with a villager. It was then that Glendore realized its fatal mistake. They had spent so much time preparing for an outside intruder that they had failed to consider the possibility that it could be one of them. The dragon opened its mouth once again, and a giant fireball engulfed the village of Glendore.\n\nThe End",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-12-31T05:54:04 | 2019-12-31T05:43:25 | 28 | 21 | [
{
"content": "[WP] A small village becomes fearful of a dragon that has taken residence near them. The dragonslayer they hired runs back to the village after the first day and begins rapidly packing his things. \"It's not the dragon that you should be afraid of\" He says. \"It's the thing its protecting you from.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The cave was not dark or dank like I’d expected. A Dragon’s nest is normally decrepit and horrid, filled with either the bones or corpses of the unfortunate or the foolish. This cave was not, and instead was lit by metal torches that adorned sections of brick wall. The light of the fires reached high into the cavernous ceiling, and unlike the outside, which was cold and claimed by the snow, the inside was warm and comforting, like a hearth in a log cabin. \n\nThat’s when I saw the Dragon. It was almost as big as the cavern itself, covered massive golden scales save for large purple gems that adorned its forehead and its chest. \n\nIt observed me as I approached, neither parties making any hostile movements. It had been sleeping it seemed, judging from the fact that it was laying down on its stomach with its arms curled. Its head began to raise as I came closer, then it spoke in a deep, loud voice that echoed off of the walls. \n\n“Greetings, young soul. What is it you seek?” It asked. \n\nI asked why it was here, occupying the top of the mountain. I explained that the people of the nearby village had heard it roar, and were fearful of an attack. \n\nIt chuckled, which shook the cave slightly. “I do not wish to cause harm. In fact, I am a protector. I keep this,” it turned its head to the back wall, “sealed from the world. It is my duty.” \n\nLooking back now, I’m unsure as to whether or not I regret asking what it was that the Dragon was protecting. \n\nI’ve never thought myself to be the fearful sort. I’ve slain monsters that towered into the sky, eradicated hordes of nightmares with naught but the sword at my hip and the shield on my back. \n\nI’ve always believed myself to be a person of great strength, not for the sake of arrogance but as a way to have confidence in my own abilities, but this dragon... it terrified me in a way that no other beast could ever hope to achieve. It was not because of the beast’s enormous size, nor was it because of its fearsome appearance, and not even due to its booming, ancient voice. \n\nIt was the visions.\n\nThe beast had the unique ability to communicate through thought, an ability that I had once believed belonged only to the Serpentines. Vile, crafty, and slippery as they were, their ability to communicate without sound or movement was uncanny and highly sought after for the benefit of mankind. \n\nBut this Dragon was not a Serpentine. It did not play tricks with its words. It did not talk to me as if I were beneath it. It felt... *genuine*. \n\nHowever, in spite of that, I knew I could not simply trust its word. Looking back, I feel that I simply just did not want to believe it. \n\nSo it showed me. Blackened skies filled with somber clouds, fields of ash as dead as the grave, fires that reached to the darkened sun, I saw it all. I saw the end. In the middle of it all stood a single person, and I shudder just remembering them. \n\nI saw myself, yet it was not me. My eyes glowed crimson, my skin was cracked like stone, and the power... oh, the power. A sort of force pulsated from my body, a dark and evil entity emanating from it. I could have sworn that I saw a dark shadow looming over me, but even now I’m not sure. \n\nI was brought back to reality then. \n\nThe dragon was looking at me, and despite its inhuman features I could decipher its expression of understanding. Somber comprehension. \n\nI asked what it had showed me. Why *I* stood at the center of the world’s end. \n\n“Your vision is but a possibility. The power you saw is an deity of ages long past, in the time of the gods. It wrought calamity upon the world, and was locked away to never be seen again,” It told me. The cave tumbled as the Dragon moved so that it stood in front of the back wall, which looked to be formed of some kind of amber crystal. It went on, “I was charged with its imprisonment eons ago, and I keep it from those who would seek harm upon the world. But it has been recovering, slowly regaining its power so that it may be free once again. Under the entity’s influence, this prison now moves on its own, searching for a host for its lone occupant; a mortal that it can tempt with its power.” \n\nAs if enabled by the Dragon’s words, a voice began to creep into my mind. It was evil and crazed, jumbled in a sense but clear in its intention. \n\nIt was sickeningly sweet. \n\nThe Dragon turned to me, and I could feel its sadness. \n\n“You must resist, young soul,” it said softly. \n\nI almost couldn’t. The possibilities that it whispered to my mind were so tempting. I would be king of all, every living being enslaved to my will with no-one to challenge me. But that was not who I was. I believed myself to be strong, but I never believed myself to be better than anyone else. I would not be a tyrant. I would not be a monster. \n\nI could feel the disappointment as the voices started to recede, but it did not yet disappear, as if waiting for an opportunity to sweep back in. \n\nThe Dragon looked at me with a bit of shock, but also respect. “I am impressed, young one. Most would have given in to such a vast amount of power. I would have been forced to incinerate you.” \n\nI collapsed to my hands and knees, suddenly out of breath for reasons unknown until the Dragon spoke.\n\n“You must leave now. The Dark One is trying to kill you now, and reanimate your corpse as a vessel. I will send you to the base of the mountain. Speak of this to no-one.” \n\nWhite began to cloud my vision, working from the edges of my sight. I looked up to the Dragon and I swear that it smiled at me. \n\nSuddenly, the warmth of the cave was replaced with cold. The white faded from my eyes and was replaced with the grey stone of the mountain. Snow flew through the air, the wind whipping at my hair and chilling me to the core. I turned around and saw the entrance to the cave. I could some of the warmth from the inside still.\n\nFear gripped my heart when the confusion cleared, and I remembered what I had learned. I raced down the mountain as fast as I could. I needed to leave. I needed to warn the Capital, the Guild. Everyone. \n\nExcept... I couldn’t. \n\n“Speak of this to no-one,” the Dragon had said. \n\nI decided to head back to the Capital first. I warned the villagers to avoid the cave, but to not fear the Dragon. It would not bother them so long as they did not give it a reason to. \n\nI left only days later. I needed a plan. \n\nI needed help.",
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"content": "[WP] A small village becomes fearful of a dragon that has taken residence near them. The dragonslayer they hired runs back to the village after the first day and begins rapidly packing his things. \"It's not the dragon that you should be afraid of\" He says. \"It's the thing its protecting you from.\"",
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"content": " \n\nNoam slid his broadsword into his scabbard and stiffened his back, causing his heavy armor to creak and moan. His knight’s helm hid a rapidly escaping hairline, but the village elder Ton could see the wear of decades of battle in his eyes. \n\n“Where’s this dragon, then? Point him out on the map and I’ll be on with it.” Noam cracked his arthritic knuckles and waited for the response. This was promised to be a quick in-and-out dragon kill and he was eager to be back home by sundown. \n\nThe elder called over some of the local boys and they moved to a muddy patch of ground off of the village center. The first three boys ended up in a wrestling match. Exasperated, Ton chased after them with swift kicks to their rears. Meanwhile the last boy, slightly older and more mature, continued tracing with a stick in the mud. \n\nHe drew a circle with stick figures to represent the village of Malen. His scarred hand shaking now, he traced a dotted line to the west, terminating in a crudely-drawn mountain peak. Ton was still giving the rapscallions hell and didn’t notice the boy’s work. But Noam had crouched down – carefully, mind you – to study the drawing. His gauntleted hand pointed towards the mountain. \n\n“Is that where the dragon lies, boy?”\n\nThe boy shivered and hugged himself instinctively, rocking back and forth in the mud.\n\nNoam’s eyes caught the mark of flames on the boy’s hand, and his gruff voice softened. “Ho, lad, did you see him yourself? The big scary dragon?”\n\nThe boy nodded and his eyes widened, clearly recalling the encounter. \n\n“What’s your name, son?”\n\n“Spon, sir.”\n\nNoam patted his head. “A good fighting man’s name. Tell me about this dragon.”\n\nSpon puffed his chest a little at the praise and chanced some eye contact. Boldened, he told his story. “I went west to pick some flowers from the mountain. For my g-…it doesn’t matter.” He blushed and Noam hid a knowing smile. “Anyways. I was halfway up the trail when I felt something, like something was watching me. I was about to pick the wildflowers when I heard a terrible beating of air. That’s when I turned, mister, and saw it.” \n\nHe stole a glance back at the knight to see if he was laughing. He was not, so Spon continued. He gestured around him. “It was a huge dragon, the size of this village green. It hovered above me and sucked in a terrible amount of air. When I thought it couldn’t take in any more it turned to face me and blew out fire! Huge streams of fire!” \n\nNoam nodded gently and encourage the boy to continue. Ton had two boys by the ear and was kicking the third in the rump again, but the knight studiously ignored that battle.\n\n“I hid behind a rock, but it was too late.” He gestured to his hand. “It got me. But I survived! And I ran home and now the other boys call me a coward but I’m not a coward and THEY wouldn’t have even lef the village because THEY’RE scared!” He caught his breath.\n\n“There there, lad. I still get the shakes when I see a dragon every now and again.”\n\nSpon looked up in wonder at his hero. “Really?”\n\nNoam nodded and jiggled the hilt of his sword. “Aye. But I’ll handle this one for you.” He turned and raised his voice. “Oh Elder, I’m ready to depart!”\n\nTon turned and dropped the troublesome boys. “Oh! Oh great. Um we’ll see you when you get back, and can discuss a reward later. Perhaps um…” His eyes scanned the crowd and found the only single woman in the village, a graceful woman in her sixties and the proud owner of three teeth. “Perhaps Helen?” Helen displayed her prized possessions in a winning smile.\n\nNoam grunted. “We shall talk then.” He hurried out of the village without looking back. Spon’s guidance was simple enough, and he was soon climbing up the grassy mountainside with his sword in hand. Sweat dotted his forehead and he stopped to knuckle the dull ache from his back. He was nearly to the peak now, and he could see a few boulders that matched Spon’s description. Sighing, he lowered his helm and continued upwards. \n\nSoon enough he heard the familiar beating of air. He spun and caught sight of a brilliant sapphire-blue dragon descending from the mountain. \n\n“Ho, dragon!” He waved his sword menacingly. \n\nThe blue monster shot a warning burst of acrid flame towards the knight, scarring the ground before his boots. Then it caught the knight completely off guard.\n\n“Leave!” it whispered. Well, as much as a five ton flame-spouting monster could be said to whisper. “Turn back now.”\n\nNoam gasped and lowered his sword. “You speak the Queen’s tongue?”\n\nThe dragon swung by on another pass. “That I do. You are in mortal danger.”\n\n“You insult me? I will have your tongue.”\n\nIt hissed in exasperation, shooting another gout of flame overhead. “Not from me you idiot! Keep your voice down or *she* will hear!”\n\nHe swung his head in confusion. “I don’t understand. Who is she? Regardless! You must pay, you burned up a small village boy’s hand yesterday!”\n\nThe dragon drew closer now, and the sun glinted off of its wicked claws. “Accident. Tried a warning shot but he got too close. Don’t you realize I could have killed both of you, and that entire little village in a heartbeat? I’m honor-bound to protect this village!”\n\nNoam paused. The monster was one of the deadlier dragons he had seen in his career, perhaps it was telling the truth. That’s when he heard it. A sharp piercing cry from the mountaintop.\n\n“What a sight oh what a sight. What a SIGHT for sore eyes!” The desperate shout echoed off of the mountaintop and the dragon looked back with grave concern. \n\n“Oh great you’ve attracted it.” It drew even closer now until it was nearly on top of the knight. “Get. Out. Of Here!”\n\n“Are you single? Are you tired oh shining knight of mine? Come up to the top, I will cook you a fine meal! Never leave my side! We can talk all night of love and things of wonder!” Noam squinted and could barely make out the squat figure of a woman at the top of the mountain trail. “I will knit you scarves to keep you warm, and we will have wonderful children that look just like you, and and and –“ she gasped, having run out of breath. \n\nNoam staggered backwards, slipping to the ground. He recovered to his feet and sprinted back to the village. The dragon turned back up the trail and blasted the peak with flames. The desperate woman shrieked and fled back into her cave near the mountain-top and the monster sighed with relief. \n\nAnother man saved.",
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2020-02-05T20:48:25 | 2020-02-05T20:46:18 | 15 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] After superpowers start appearing around the world, businesses realize the use of these abilities. People with x ray vision are practically forced into being doctors and people with heat vision work as cooks. You are starting to get tired of your superpower-based job.",
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"content": "It started simply. \n\nPeople started getting super powers, more or less overnight. Some people got very grand, incredible powers, and some got very ordinary powers. Some had immense power and a very high capability, some could barely use their power at all. Case in point, there was a guy in Brazil who got control over fire, and he was arrested for setting drug stash houses on fire. Meanwhile, a woman in America who also developed control over fire, nearly burnt down Yellowstone.\n\nI had heard of people with incredible X-Ray vision who were supposedly working for governments, as spies and intelligence operatives. The government would never confirm that, and we called them Wraiths, because you never knew who was peeping on you in your home, or at work. My older cousin Marcus developed heat vision so potent, that he was now a contractor for a major international welding company, and did a lot of large scale and underwater jobs.\n\nBut on the other end of the spectrum, some people weren't able to do much with their powers. Psychics were almost always so overwhelmed by their powers that few remained sane, and those few usually ended up working for Verident, a company that offered its Psychic employees for everything from employment screenings to legal proceedings. At my favorite restaurant, Denzel the cook had a very mild power over plants and vegetation, which he used to maintain an incredible herb and spice garden, which housed chilies and fresh vegetables all year round, that definitely wouldn't grow as large, quickly, or deliciously as Denzel could make them. \n\nMe? I fell somewhere in the middle. I have control over the cold, which sounds pretty neat. I can stand naked in -180° weather and never even feel a chill. I once created a miniature snowstorm, just to see if I could. I'm not really powerful or anything, but I'm not weak either. I can't freeze the planet or anything, but I live in Texas, so when it's too hot out, I'm usually quite comfortable. \n\nI landed a gig with NASA, something I had been dreaming of since I was a kid. Didn't every kid dream of being an astronaut? The only trouble was, I hated my job, and I most definitely wasn't an astronaut. My job was centered around my power, and I was no longer enjoying it. I felt I was missing a better calling, something that would make me happier and more fulfilled. I wish I could say I was making a difference, but reality is often disappointing. \n\nAnyway, time to strap on my billowing cape and get back to my superhero work, my break is nearly over.\n\nFor I am mighty. For I am powerful. \n\nI am Evelyn Taggart, NASA Server Room Environmental Control Specialist. Unit.",
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"content": "[WP] After superpowers start appearing around the world, businesses realize the use of these abilities. People with x ray vision are practically forced into being doctors and people with heat vision work as cooks. You are starting to get tired of your superpower-based job.",
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"content": "Another night, another dollar as they say, right? I take a deep breath in and exhale before I walk in the doors. It’s a busy night tonight. There’s already people lined up outside and we haven’t even been opened for an hour yet. “Good luck tonight champ, it’s the trifecta.” The bouncer warned me before I walked in. “Great.” I said smirking. A part of me hoped he was joking but I don’t think he was. \n\nWhen I walked in it was beyond packed I stop to take it in for a moment. When they say it’s the trifecta you probably think of ice cream and sweets. Shoot I don’t blame you, I would too if I heard that name. Instead the trifecta for us means it’s going to be a bad night. \n\nFirst we have your Karens that come in and want to speak to the manager all the time. I know them you know them. No more discussion. \n\nSecondly we have your Boomers. Yeah those people still come here but not the sane ones who are at home by 9 pm on a Friday in bed. The ones who hang out with our third and final group. \n\nFinally we have your Greeks. No not those greeks the ones who pay for friends. Somehow all three of these groups decided to come here tonight to my pizza bar. I mean what can I expect it’s the first pizza bar fully ran by humans with super powers in my town. \n\nOur hostess is the best though they have the power to clone themselves. It comes in useful when it’s a busy night and you gotta answer the phone, take reservations, juggle people and also a seating chart that has to be updated constantly. I mean that’s the perfect power to have, right?\n\nThe bartenders are some of the best around. They are speedsters so drinks are always slanging here. There’s never no tonight to busy for them. \n\nOur servers could teleport. Yeah I know right why are they serving food to people who are rude to them and disrespectful and not out saving the world some how? Beats me. I don’t know. My power isn’t reading minds, no no no. My power is Laser vision. \n\nYes laser vision, I get to cook pizza every night for 6-8 hours straight on my feet. When it’s the night of the trifecta it’s worse. I don’t think I can handle this anymore with this job. I must get out and use this power for good, but for what? \n\n“Hey, Red Eyes get your behind in that kitchen and start shooting pizzas.” That moment is over for me now. That was my boss who needs to take a laser to the knee. I gotta get to work now.",
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2020-03-25T08:17:49 | 2020-03-25T08:08:58 | 59 | 40 | [
{
"content": "[WP] In a dystopian theocracy, criminals get injected with diseases and locked up until they either survive the disease or die. The worse the crime, the worse the disease. If a criminal survives the disease, the system determines that the person is innocent and God has interfered to show this.\n\nEdit: thank you kind stranger for my first ever reddit award <3",
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"content": "I'm not an experienced writer so please forgive my skills, but I thought this prompt was cool so fuck it, I'll give it a shot.\n\n\n\n\nCold. Damp. The cell was filled with the smells of those who lived in it before. It was small. Unbearably small. Short enough that you couldn't stand in it, narrow enough that you couldn't lie down, so you were reduced to squatting, in pain, as you fought against the never ending tide of agony. Joseph did not care. He had been through this three times before. Each time God had deemed him innocent. The Cardinal was furious, of course, but if he didn't let Joseph go then that would technically be Heresy. So Joseph walked free everytime.\n\n\n\nHe had become a sort of legend, if you will, amongst the people of his Residential Block. Three times he had stood against the deadliest diseases known to man, and he had won! Leprosy, Ebola and Smallpox. The Church had worked hard trying to get Smallpox back so they could appropriately punish criminals, and many of those said criminals died as a result, but Joseph had walked free. Of course he looked hideous to most people, but Joseph didn't mind. This time, they had outdone themselves. *Bubonic Plague*. Joseph wasn't scared, surprisingly. Instead he was thinking about what he was going to say to the Cardinal after he recovered.\n\n\n\nJoseph also wondered where he was going to go. He couldn't go home, no, that was way out of the equation. His wife, well, soon to be *ex*-wife, lived there. He was the whole reason this was happening. He found her sleeping with a local Priest. Joseph, understandably, got angry, so he hit him on the head 12 times with his mandatory, state issued Bible. He didn't mean for him to die. It's just, when you're hitting someone on the face with something big and heavy, a piece of cartilage is bound to get rammed into their brain one way or another. Joseph's thoughts were interrupted as one of the Brown shirted Guards walked past, the sound of his boots slamming into the ground every second tearing through the peace and quiet. The Guard stopped abruptly just outside of Joseph's cell. Ignoring another prisoner's vile obscenities, he stared at Joseph in a mixture of curiosity and disgust. Joseph was used to that of course.\n\n\n\n\nAround 8 days later, Joseph found himself in the Prison Infirmary. His state had quickly deteriorated, and for the first time in a while, Joseph felt truly afraid. The stark white of the Infirmary was a welcome change to the grimy, dirty, black, grey and brown of the main prison. As he stared up at the ceiling, Joseph pleaded with God to do what he did before, and grant him mercy. He may have been guilty, but he was inncocent before, and he had led a good, pious life. He received God's answer 2 days later. It was a firm, \"No\".",
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"content": "[WP] In a dystopian theocracy, criminals get injected with diseases and locked up until they either survive the disease or die. The worse the crime, the worse the disease. If a criminal survives the disease, the system determines that the person is innocent and God has interfered to show this.\n\nEdit: thank you kind stranger for my first ever reddit award <3",
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"content": "Universe ID 4\nUniverse Chunk #23/59/101\nGalaxy 2359101/16\n\nPlanet: Earth-like, Moon-like satellite\nState: Dystopian, Religion based\nEcological State: Thriving, non-existing near/in arcologies\n\nWriter: [The Owner] Techniker\nNote: We try to keep everything in our archive objective, so if something is written down, take it relative to our morals and society (This is a /link/ to our laws, morals, society and history inside this archive)\n\nIt seems this ... society banished all and any thoughts of empirical science, some theoretical sciences survived, so long the theories don't interfere with the main religion of this planet. The religion is related to Christianity on Earth 1 (about 2000 before year null and until 2130).\n\nDue to this ... unhealthy association with higher beings, the laws and rules are very unpleasant to experience.\n\nOur first teams and surveys found on of the biggest horrors of law enforcement ever found on ANY planet until now (current date is /Universe bound/ 21.2.1202 E10 // /System bound/ 25.3.34020 E13).\n\nApparently the higher beings decide if a culprit is guilty or innocent. This is weird way, first encountered, but it gets worse. This is determined by injecting a culprit with a disease. The worse the crime the worse the disease. Then the culprit get their cell, but no treatment, only their higher beings then decide if they deserve to live ... or mostly not.\n\nSome of our scouts were caught \"accidentally\" breaking a law (this was in first few days, we did not have a copy of the laws until a bit later, /link/ to the protocols of the operation), and got the same treatment. Due to their gen modifications they did not have problems with the diseases. \n(Note: these diseases would be huge problems on our Satellite, pandemic ratings ranging from 0.1 to 8.5).\n\nThe mentioned arcologies are very impressive and quite modern for this society. They probably are from before the overtaking of religion, due to their surprisingly ecological abilities and materials.\nThe sand for the concrete shows signs of artificial production. Wood paneling is still on some ... less run down apartments, there is so much space for vertical gardens and forests. The energy, water and drainage system are very nature like and very efficient. These arcologies were definitely huge investments in the future of the planet, when they were new. Today they are the cramped, even more disease ridden, from poverty and crime hit homes of the majority of the population.\n\nGoing away from the dense forest of arcologies, we come to huge domes of perfect condition, in and out, where the elites and wealthy live. Sadly, not much to say here.\n(Note: heavily guarded and we could not \"make\" new citizens with the right to live here. We would have to get a job, living space, crime record, religious record and so on, and this was not \"worth it\".)\n\n/This is the end the report, we are now evaluating if this society is eligible for teaching them the basis of FTL travel, cryogenics and fusion energy. The first impressions is ... bad.",
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2020-05-12T12:41:09 | 2020-05-12T10:44:06 | 1,715 | 230 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Your family is cursed; for hundreds of years, the father is destined to die the moment the son is born. As you rush to the hospital for your first baby, you discover why.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "I spent my life trying to avoid this moment.\n\nFor as long as our family records exist, when a son is born, the father dies. My birth meant the death of my father.\n\nI avoided women. I refused to allow myself to fall in love. I ... then I met her and it was all for naught.\n\nI told her I did not want children. We took precautions. It was never going to happen. Somehow, against all expectations, it had anyway.\n\nShe was ecstatic. What could I do? I loved her more than anything. I resigned myself to my fate -- apparently, this is why no one ever thought of doing this before. And maybe it would be a girl! There was always that chance.\n\nThere were some concerns, so she wound up having genetic testing -- so we knew, for sure, it was going to be a boy.\n\nI thought, perhaps, the complications were going to be the end of it, but it didn't happen. For some reason, I was glad. I came to the realization that I wanted this son to be born. The movements, the heartbeat, the ultrasounds... getting the nursery ready. My wife's excitement.\n\nI began to look forward to the appointments and the birth, even knowing what it meant. My wife was so happy. The baby was going to be such a beautiful boy!\n\nSo, here I am, at the hospital with my wife, waiting for my son to be born and my life to end. I hope to get a glimpse, a chance to know what I was leaving behind.\n\nThen it came. The last push, the baby boy being born. I got that glimpse! I was ecstatic. Such a beautiful baby boy.\n\nThen it happened.\n\nMy wife's heart stopped.\n\nI didn't understand. I couldn't understand. How could this happen? They made me leave the room. I screamed at the universe. I told them to take me instead, it was supposed to be me.\n\nSuddenly, I had a vision. Hundreds of years ago, it must have been my ancestor. His wife gave birth -- to a girl. In his rage over having a daughter instead of a son, he killed them both. She cursed him that day, to die at his son's birth, until he understood. He married again and had his precious son, but died upon his birth. His soul -- my soul -- passed from father to son, until my son was born and I was willingly giving up my soul to him -- and, critically, to her.\n\nI heard the monitors in the delivery room start up again. The regular heartbeat of my wife returning, as my own life faded from my eyes. I was so sorry to be leaving them -- my precious wife and child -- but knew that the curse was finally broken. My son would live his own life, free of the curse. I knew he would be blessed with both sons and daughters, and love them all.\n\nI was finally at rest.",
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{
"content": "[WP] Your family is cursed; for hundreds of years, the father is destined to die the moment the son is born. As you rush to the hospital for your first baby, you discover why.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "As soon as I received the phone call that my child was born my heart sank. I was certain that I would die at any moment. Sweat perspired all over and my limbs began to quake. One last final breath, before a lightning strike of destruction takes me away.\n\nOkay, maybe a second last breath...\n\nHow about a third last breath?\n\nA fourth?\n\nI sighed.\n\nLifting myself off the California King sized bed my farewell letter to my family was still in my hands. I tossed it on the Victorian desk and pinched myself to make sure it wasn't just a dream or false reality. I loosened my tie and took off my shirt and slacks.\n\nSomething felt different, I couldn't quite place my finger on it other than my shoulders felt naturally relaxed for once. *Maybe I was just too tense waiting for my death sentence.*\n\nI hammered the gas pedal of my Rolls-Royce all the way to the hospital which was only seven miles away from my house. Rushing through the halls of the modern masterpiece of the building, a secretary was able to lead me to the room where my wife and child were.\n\nTip toe-ing in, I couldn't believe how beautiful both my wife and newborn son looked. The anticipation of death still heavy on my mind, but I wasn't trembling. Everything felt right in the universe. Thoughts of being alive and healthy flourished in my head.\n\n\"Hubby,\" my wife beamed, eyes exhausted and her face was paler than her normal hue. \"He's beautiful.\"\n\n\"Sorry I wasn't here earlier, everything is okay though, I'm just glad I'm here with you,\" I whispered, the baby was sound asleep on top of his mother's chest.\n\nI looked out towards the hall for a glimpse of a second and an old woman in dark blue robes caught my eye.*The sage.*\n\n\"Excuse me, René, I'll be right back,\" I stepped up to the old woman, whom none of the nurses seemed to noticed as they walked through her like a hologram.\n\n\"Myla, I'm so glad to see you. The prophecy... I was supposed to die, what happened?\"\n\nShe took me by the hand and led me outside of the building to a garden where many of the staff ate their lunch on a nice day or took their breaks to relax from the headache of the hospital. We sat down on a bench.\n\n\"*Orclo*.\"\n\nI felt a wave of goosebumps, my real name that I hadn't heard in a while.\n\n\"*The death you experienced today was the death of your powers. Your ability to manipulate others, conjure spells, and play deceitful mind tricks is gone. All of your abilities that have given you such tremendous success have been given to your son. But there is good news, you've now become a kinder, happier, and relaxed human. You are reborn.*\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nI'd love to add a part 2 but not sure if I'd have the time today. But! This other [prompt about a vampire](https://www.reddit.com/r/randallcooper/comments/g68xx8/wp_a_starving_vampire_knocks_on_all_the/) has a similar vibe if you're interested in reading something similar! :)",
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}
] |
2020-05-12T12:41:09 | 2020-05-12T12:09:06 | 1,715 | 48 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Your family is cursed; for hundreds of years, the father is destined to die the moment the son is born. As you rush to the hospital for your first baby, you discover why.",
"role": "user"
},
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"content": "I spent my life trying to avoid this moment.\n\nFor as long as our family records exist, when a son is born, the father dies. My birth meant the death of my father.\n\nI avoided women. I refused to allow myself to fall in love. I ... then I met her and it was all for naught.\n\nI told her I did not want children. We took precautions. It was never going to happen. Somehow, against all expectations, it had anyway.\n\nShe was ecstatic. What could I do? I loved her more than anything. I resigned myself to my fate -- apparently, this is why no one ever thought of doing this before. And maybe it would be a girl! There was always that chance.\n\nThere were some concerns, so she wound up having genetic testing -- so we knew, for sure, it was going to be a boy.\n\nI thought, perhaps, the complications were going to be the end of it, but it didn't happen. For some reason, I was glad. I came to the realization that I wanted this son to be born. The movements, the heartbeat, the ultrasounds... getting the nursery ready. My wife's excitement.\n\nI began to look forward to the appointments and the birth, even knowing what it meant. My wife was so happy. The baby was going to be such a beautiful boy!\n\nSo, here I am, at the hospital with my wife, waiting for my son to be born and my life to end. I hope to get a glimpse, a chance to know what I was leaving behind.\n\nThen it came. The last push, the baby boy being born. I got that glimpse! I was ecstatic. Such a beautiful baby boy.\n\nThen it happened.\n\nMy wife's heart stopped.\n\nI didn't understand. I couldn't understand. How could this happen? They made me leave the room. I screamed at the universe. I told them to take me instead, it was supposed to be me.\n\nSuddenly, I had a vision. Hundreds of years ago, it must have been my ancestor. His wife gave birth -- to a girl. In his rage over having a daughter instead of a son, he killed them both. She cursed him that day, to die at his son's birth, until he understood. He married again and had his precious son, but died upon his birth. His soul -- my soul -- passed from father to son, until my son was born and I was willingly giving up my soul to him -- and, critically, to her.\n\nI heard the monitors in the delivery room start up again. The regular heartbeat of my wife returning, as my own life faded from my eyes. I was so sorry to be leaving them -- my precious wife and child -- but knew that the curse was finally broken. My son would live his own life, free of the curse. I knew he would be blessed with both sons and daughters, and love them all.\n\nI was finally at rest.",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Your family is cursed; for hundreds of years, the father is destined to die the moment the son is born. As you rush to the hospital for your first baby, you discover why.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I never knew my father. He died the day I was born. What I do know about him came not from my mother, who died soon afterwards, but from the letters he left me. Ever since I was a child, I have known of the family curse I carry. Whenever a man in the Sato family has a son, he is destined to die the very same day the child is born. My father never knew how the curse started, only that it had been around for centuries. His ancestors had theories of course about the reason behind it. Some thought that a distant ancestor had once left his wife for being unable to bear a son, and that the wife had cursed him to die the day he fathered one. Others believed that this distant ancestor had made a bet with a demon to gain immortality and that's how the curse started. Whatever the case was, I knew from the very beginning that to bear a child was to risk certain death for me. But the curse could also be a blessing. I learned from my father's letters that he was 76 years old when he fathered me, and yet he still looked like a man in his twenties. It seemed that a man from the Sato family line who never bore a son would never die of old age either.\n\nSo I made sure I never did. Any woman that I slept with, I killed soon afterwards. A corpse cannot give birth after all. And for decades, it worked and I was safe, free to enjoy eternal youth as I saw fit. But then, one day, my luck ran out. I was strangling a young woman in her bedroom after I had broken into her home, only to be attacked by her fathers and brothers. I barely managed to escape, and by the time I had managed to recover from my wounds, I found out that they had sent the woman far away to be with her relatives. Enraged, I murdered the entire family by burning their house down and set out on a rampage across the countryside. For months, I searched for the woman, desperate to ensure my survival. Finally, I found her.\n\nI ran through the temple, sword in hand, slicing through anyone stupid enough to get in my way. Everywhere around me, people were screaming in terror and running away from me.But I didn't care about any of them.All I was focused on was the sound of a woman screaming in labor. I charged up the stairs, two at a time and burst through the door. In front of me, the woman that I had failed to kill all those months ago screamed and cowered in fear. In her hands, she was holding an infant. Fear seized my heart as I tore it from her grip. Then, I froze. It was a girl. For a few moments, a wave of relief surged through me. Then, I felt a knife plunge through my back. Turning around in shock, I saw a man that had been hiding behind the door the whole time. He stared at me with an enraged look and thrust another knife into my chest. I stumbled, desperately trying to fight back, but soon, I tumbled to the ground and everything faded to black.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-07-14T00:07:06 | 2020-07-13T23:54:18 | 5,729 | 186 | [
{
"content": "[WP] \"Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped.\" \"Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it.\" \"No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars.\"",
"role": "user"
},
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"content": "Humans. Always humans.\n\nIn truth there was nothing much remarkable about them. Like any other species they had strengths and weaknesses imparted by their unique physiology.\n\nAnd yet...\n\nSomehow it was always humans who ended up in impossible situations. \n\nThe first ones to successfully negotiate with a Kabra-Alhar? Humans. The first ones to succesfully synthesize Econtahir? Humans. The first explorer to escape a Titan-Worm burrow? A Human.\n\nIt was known that Humans in general had more...unstable psyches than most other races. Prone to unpredictable behaviour and surprising insights, oddly charismatic and terrifyingly violent at times.\n\nIt was hard to \"get\" Humans. \n\nHe had hesitated for a long time to accept a human crewmember for these reasons but had caved under the mounting reports from other captains: as diffcult as they could be, in unusual, extreme situations you could have no one more useful, somehow, even if they were gibbering cowards or helpless pacifist.\n\n*Somehow* humans pulled through.\n\nAnd now this.\n\n\"The Human, sir\" his nervous aide announced.\n\nThe Human entered the cabin.\n\nThey had variety to themselves, but to the Captain they still all looked he same. That would change if he spent more time with them but for now it held true.\n\nAfter a few moments of silent exchanges of looks between two eyes and six the Captain took the word.\n\n\"What were you thinking?\"\n\n\"I was curious\" the Human,'s voice was quite but intent, its eyes...its eyes were focused. Almost shining.\n\nThe Captain was confused about his own associations. Since when was alien bodylanguage so clear to him?\n\n\"Curious? That is your excuse for risking life and sanity?\"\n\n\"What better reason could there be?\"\n\nThe words made perfect sense to the Ca...no. They didn't. What was this?\n\n\"What did you see?\"\n\nThe Human smiled. \n\nA gesture they were not supposed to do in front of aliens, showing teeth was aggressive in many species.\n\n\"You know as well as I do, Captain, that seeing is a laughably limited metaphor for what I experienced\"\n\n\"Describe it then\"\n\n\"Truth\" the answer came without hesitation.\n\nThe Captain felt a cold sliver of fear. A shiver went down...no. A shiver? His species didn't do that. Did they?\n\nThe Humans eyes were still on him. He found he couldn't look away.\n\n\"Truth...what truth?\"\n\n\"Everything. No barriers. No lies. Reality as it is. The gaping maw of the abyss and the towering peak of matter itself above it\"\n\nIts eyes...its eyes were so clear. So present. Where was its face? There were only the eyes.\n\n\"Would you like to know a secret Captain? It watched back. It sees us. They say the universe doesn't care. They are wrong. Everything is watched carefully\"\n\nIts eyes...how many did it have again? The Captain counted five...no seven...no nine...\n\n\"We Humans...I think we are more open to the universe than others. More accepting. The universe doesn't make sense and unlike many other species...we can work with that.\"\n\nMore eyes were opening. Each one a tiny pinprick in the distant void, burning with infinte focus. On him.\n\n\"And when I came back from gazing into infinity...a tiny piece of infinity came back with me\"\n\nThe Captain heard a shrill, terrified whimper and realised it came from him. The eyes! They were dissecting him! Each thought, each memory, all seen and weighted and taken and no longer his own!\n\n\"Captain. You will now delete each reference to this incident from the logs. And then you will help me give others this gift. Infinity has finally found it's way to us. And you will help me help it find it's way to many more\"\n\nThere was only obedience in front of the eyes.\n\n\"Yes. I will\"",
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{
"content": "[WP] \"Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped.\" \"Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it.\" \"No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars.\"",
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"content": "The captain heard the news, but couldn’t believe his ears, a human surviving a warp jump? I guess it happened, the captain isn’t one for pondering over things. \n\n“Bring me the human, I’d like to speak to it.” The captain said staying into the void from his quarters. The doctor left and came back with him, “sir” the doctor muttered “I think he did go insane.”\n\n“I’m not insane.” The human said, “sir can I speak with you alone?” The human seemed peaceful, but had a sense of anxiety to him. \n\n“Yes, doctor please leave.” The captain said, the doctor scoffed and left them in the room. There was a long silence. Until the captain finally spoke, he was too curious from this incident. “Do you know how you were able to survive?” The captain said, still staring into the void.\n\n“Yes, I believe it has something to do with my drug use from the past.” The human replied, the captain put a confused expression on his face. There was a pause, until the captain said “continue.” \n\n“Well sir, to explain this to you, I’d have to explain an old ritual humans did in the past. There were tribes from long ago, that would make a drink from a root, when they drank this substance they had a profound experience and usually seen supernatural things. There was a moment where humans synthesized the main chemical that was in the root and smoked it for recreational use. My parents gave me this at the age of 18, a continuing ritual from our ancestors. The things seen are mind boggling, yet we come out perfectly fine, with a new sense of understanding.” The human paused, and then walked beside the captain, staring with him into the void. The captain turned his eyes to the human without moving his head. “We have to leave.” The human said. \n\n“Leave?” The captain said looking at the human directly now. “Where do you expect us to go? You haven’t even explained what you saw.” The human looked at the captain in his eyes, piercing into his soul. \n\n“Sir, we have to leave this universe.” The human said, the captain looked confused and impatient. \n\n“Leave this universe?! Haha you have gone insane!” The captain moved over to his chair and sat down. Stopped and thought to himself, and then spoke again. “Continue.” \n\n“You see sir, when we take this drug, we see things, beings. Some of them seem like they are an extension of us, others feel and seem completely separate. Like a different entity with thoughts entirely from our own. They always say ‘welcome, you made it!’ And we would never get answers if we ask questions to them, they come in the form of riddles. This jump, I seen the same thing, but this time they welcomed me differently. They said we are getting further and closer, they say we must leave this place, and sir. I think we can.” The human stared into the distant void, looking at the stars. “A lot of alien species that have technology don’t believe in other worldly being, I think at some point they lose that thought because of the simple thinking they are raised to do. They think of this world and this world only. My ancestors used to have discussion of different dimensions, other universes separate of our own, with different physics and matter. I’ve seen these other universes, I’ve seen these other dimensions.” The human looked at the captain with a smile on his face. “We finally got the answer.” The human stopped speaking. \n\n“What is the answer?” The captain said in a quiet tone, leaning forward with anticipation. But the human didn’t respond, the captain got nervous, got up and stood beside the human. “What did you see?” The human looked up at the captain.\n\n“I seen everything.” The human muttered, staring into the void.",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2020-07-14T01:07:26 | 2020-07-14T00:28:01 | 688 | 465 | [
{
"content": "[WP] \"Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped.\" \"Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it.\" \"No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars.\"",
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"content": "They glanced at each other; the emotions of their kind were harder to read, granted, but I could tell there was a certain anxiousness to it. Perhaps there was a shiftiness about their eyes. \n\nAnd while their words, harsh and guttural, were harder to decipher- I didn’t have much of a knack for language- the blatancy of their confusion was so universal that it was comical. \n\nIt did strike me that potentially, in all the years that had elapsed since they’d initially made contact, I had been the first to survive it intact. Mentally, I mean. \n\nTheories had been floating around about the Vortex for decades. They said that the transportation process was something you needed to be completely unconscious for, lest you perish a billion times in the great unknown that is the darkness of an eternity. That a little piece of the soul evades you and is drawn to it.\n\nThere’s no science to it, of course. Merely speculation. \n\nAnd we must hand it to Them; they account for and document each of us that they take for observation. They provide protective gear for the “Leap”, and return each of us without so much as a scratch- the majority of time, that is. Naturally, their technology isn’t completely immaculate. Maybe they’re even more human than expected. They even provide certification for the dead.\n\nI couldn’t take it when she died. Everything lost its colour.\n\nIt was the irony that felt so bitter; she’d been so excited to be chosen, desperate to have some kind of wonderful anecdote that could trump anything else possibly conceivable at the dinner party she was so certain she’d one day host on our wedding china. She told me that with a glint in her eye, and laughed, in that low, intoxicating giggle of hers, before leaning in for a kiss.\n\nI didn’t read the details of the report in depth. I didn’t need to. If anyone perishes during a Leap, it’s because something in the system has failed. She saw the Vortex and went mad. Suffered alone for a thousand lifetimes. \n\nWhen I was chosen, it came as a blessing. It was a stupid, fleeting hope. A wild dream of mine. I was chasing the memories of her soul; those ridiculous old wives tales of pieces of the consciousness echoing about in the darkness of the Leap. \n\nI had deliberately left the latch off the headset and closed my eyes, waiting.\n\n***\n\n“He’s smiling,” the cadet reported, avoiding eye contact as he etched the findings into the system. \n\n“Is that not symptomatic of delirium?” The captain asked incredulously, gazing at the subject through the glass partition. He was sitting, cross-legged, on the bench with his back pressing lightly into the wall.\n\n“Normally, I wouldn’t doubt that,” the cadet replied slowly. “But there’s never been a recorded instance of speech capability.”\n\n“What?” The captain exclaimed, his eyes widening. The human looked particularly weak and pathetic; there was nothing especially durable about his character. He was thin and pale, and couldn’t have been more than thirty.\n\n“Surely that’s not possible. That area of the human brain is the first to deteriorate. There must be some mistake.”\n\n“No- no mistake,” the cadet shook his head. “It’s the same words over and over again.”\n\n“What is he saying?”\n\n“‘I found her. Oh thank God I found her.’”",
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"content": "[WP] \"Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped.\" \"Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it.\" \"No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars.\"",
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"content": "Captain Requier marched down to the human Tech Officer Ceasar’s quarters. Ceasar had been ordered to his room until they had reached their destination, after which Requier would assess the human’s sanity for himself. “It shouldn’t be possible,” Requier thought, “that anyone can witness warp without the anti-warp gear and be alright.” He had seen about a half dozen good men and women go crazy; why was Ceasar any different. Requier knocked on Ceasar’s door.\n\n“Come in Captain.” Ceasar called out. The door slid open. Ceasar was sitting on his bed, looking at Requier. So far, he didn’t look deranged. Requier slowly sat down beside him.\n\n“How ya feeling son?” He asked. Ceasar shrugged. \n\n“A little nauseous. I sort of feel like I’m having a really bad cold, you know?” Ceasar blinked hard and deliberately. Requier took great notice. “And seeing us jump into warp speed, damn that hurt my eyes.”\n\n“Hurt your eyes kiddo?” Requier asked. “What dis you see? Was it too bright?” Requier smiled, trying to relate a little to Ceasar. “That’s why we wear the gear.”\n\n“At first it looked like Star Wars, y’know?” Ceasar said, looking at Requier. Requier didn’t react, and Ceasar frowned slightly. “Oh come on man we just watched those movies last week! With Luke Skywalker and-“\n\n“Oh, right!” Requier answered. “The lines when they go into light speed. Okay. What else?”\n\n“A whole bunch of weird looking polygons, and shapes that reminded me of things I saw, and some stuff that I think I might see in the future...” Ceasar trailer off. “Geez, it’s gonna stick with me for a bit.”\n\n“Well, my boy, I’m asking because-“\n\n“Because people go crazy without the warp gear right?” Ceasar interrupted. Requier looked surprised. “I found that out myself back in tech school. You don’t need to play with kid gloves around me Captain.”\n\n“I see. Well, since you know it’s effects on people’s psyche, many of us are concerned with how warp affects the human mind. Humans are new to the space faring world, and-“\n\n“And what?” Ceasar asked, seeming agitated. “And humans haven’t demonstrated high intelligence? We’re the weird dumb species right? I hear that enough.” Requier fell silent, unsure of how to respond. “I get it, humans got into space using combustion engines and polluted our home world really badly. But we’re not stupid. Maybe what people see when they enter warp without gear is too much for non-human brains.” Ceasar signed, and laid back onto his bed. “I’m sorry for the outburst. This is just the straw that broke the camel’s back I guess.” Requier silently got up.\n\n“You can find anti-nausea medicine in the sick bay when you’re ready. And...”. He turned to look back at Ceasar. “I’m sorry we have made you feel like we think you’re lesser. We don’t think that. I hope we can regain your trust.”",
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] |
2020-07-14T03:46:07 | 2020-07-14T03:04:48 | 51 | 23 | [
{
"content": "[WP] \"Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped.\" \"Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it.\" \"No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars.\"",
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"content": "*The galbana's crew was buzzing with chatter at news. The captain walked into the medical bay where the human sat being examined, the seemed to be slightly more... incandescent then the captain remembered.*\n\n\"Derrick, report\" The captain said turning his head towards the crew's doctor with an astonished need for answers\n\n*\"Well sir... long story short it seems that instead of the human being drawn into infinity. It drew the infinity into it...\" The doctor's many arms reached out and* \n\n \n**\"I have a name you know.\"** The human spoke up, opening it's eyes to reveal near divine white lights **\"Oh, one second, let me just turn that off\"** It said, blinking and undoing the godly light shining from it's eyes\n\n*\"Y-YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO THINK RIGHT NOW LET ALONE SPEAK AND MOVE!?\"* Sheer terror ran through the Doctor's mind and as their tone betrayed.\n\n**\"Oh I've been fully aware of everything doctor, don't worry though it didn't hurt. I would have told you sooner but I figured having the captain here would save having to explain this twice\"**\n\n\"Explain what twice?\" Both the doctor and the captain uttered at the same time\n\n**\"Well you're both wondering what I saw and what it did to me, correct? You initial theory was close doctor but you missed a few things. Are you both familiar with the concept of the many worlds theory?\"** The human asked, it's tone betrayed no malice, no ill intent. Both beings nodded intently, not sure if to vocalise their answers\n\n**\"Good, that makes things easier. So as you're aware in the many worlds theory every single possibility exists in it's own separate instance of reality. What you probably don't know is that when you use your warp jumps you're actually moving from one instance. The one where your ship is where you jump from. To another, the one where you ship is where you want jump too. Understand so far?**\n\n\"Yes so far that's just basic space time mechanics...\" The captain said finding his voice. \"Although I don't ever remember this being explained to you...\"\n\n**\"I'll get to that in a second. So we've got an understanding of the basics, good, now as it turns out, collapsing a reality is pretty difficult under normal circumstances, the more sentient creatures you want to transport and the more mass the harder it is. Hence why we never start warps near planets but can land using warps easily.**\n\n**Under normal circumstances a creature that is conscious during is pulled apart and experiences a metaphysical bleed. This is the corpse mangling you expected of me before coming down here. However humans are a little different as you know, and this might just be why...\"**\n\n\"What do you mean by that? \"\n\n**\"You've both surely noticed that humans seem to possess an affinity for doing what was thought impossible correct? This latest uh.. development of mine has let to me realising the reason why. Captain, I propose that humans are ever so slightly, para-causal entities.\"**\n\nA heavy silence filled the room. Fear, dread, confusion all hung in the air like a creepy christmas ornament that you hang up solely because your dead grandparent gave it too you a week before they passed. The doctor was the first to break the silence.\n\n*\"And your experience being exposed to the infinity is proof... how exactly?\"* It was a valid question, asked in earnest though it did come off a little accusatory.\n\n**\"Well for one, I survived what most would consider guaranteed death... and two... well it's probably easier if I just show you...\"** And with that the human got up and walked through the door, returning in a few seconds before sitting upright on the medical bench. The room once again fell into a stunned silence. They had pointed to the medical restraints that had held them on the bench only a few seconds prior. All fully intact. **\"As you can see... I'm seemingly able to transcend physical spacetime... Captain I have a request.\"**\n\n\"N-name it!\" the captain stammered coming to his senses.\n\n**\"I wish to head to the nearest research center so I can properly be examined\"**\n\n\"I-I think that's for the best, I'll plot a course.\"\n\n**\"Thank you...\"** The human smiled and a feeling of warmth and serenity washed over the ship. The peace of a grateful heart.",
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{
"content": "[WP] \"Captain... the human didn't put on it's anti-warp gear before we jumped.\" \"Sad to hear, prepare the coffin and jettison it.\" \"No, sir. The human... nothing's happened to it. It didn't go insane from seeing infinity in the stars.\"",
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"content": "The captain stared at the bosun, tentacles quivering slightly. \"The human... is ok?\"\n\n\"Yes sir,\" she replied. Her stance was stiff, too stiff, and he had known her long enough to know when she was rattled. The captain stared through her. If a human had witnessed infinity and survived...\n\n\"Acknowledged. Return to your post, I will be along shortly.\" The bosun didn't respond. It was only now that the captain realized all eyes were on him. \"That's an order!\" He barked. The bosun slowly rose one bony hand in salute before dashing away. Slowly, the rest of the crew returned to their stations and the constant noise of the void ship resumed.\n\nThe captain turned away and walked towards the viewing deck. If a human had witnessed infinity and survived... He stopped in front of a closed viewport and pressed the button to raise the barrier. There was a horrible sound as the metal screeched, hinting to the years of wear and tear on the ship. Metal fatigue had become a problem over the years, one that was constantly threatening to rip them into the depths of space, but it was hardly a concern now.\n\nWith a terrible rattling, the panel shuddered into place, and the captain stared into the colorful void of space. Stars danced and twinkled, enticing the captain to stay, as if they may never see him again. He smiled.\n\nHe had waited for this moment all his life. He had been prepared, no, *made* for this moment. Everything had led to it, yet he found himself unable to move, unable to break his gaze from the endless sea of stars and nebulae. But he was afraid this would be his last chance to stare into the unknown and he wanted to savor it.\n\nHe turned away and quickly left the viewing deck. Filled with renewed determination, he strolled down the hallway, taking in the details of his ship as if he may never see it again. Within a few moments, he had reached the guest quarters.\n\nThe captain paused for a moment to regain his composure and opened the door.\n\nThe human was kneeling in the corner of the dark room over a writing mass of flesh and silvery ichor. The captain gasped and held back tears as he recognized what was once the bosun in the mass. The change was happening much faster than expected. The captain reached slowly for the light switch and tapped it gingerly.\n\nSuddenly, the human was at his neck, fangs beared, being held back only by the captains psychic might. A woman, her skin had been flush and her hair crimson but now she was pale, and her hair had begun to darken. Her once cerulean eyes had taken on the the deep color her hair had once been. She gnashed and screamed like an animal against her ethereal bonds but to no use; even her new might was no match for a centuries old Mind Flayer.\n\nThe captain brought a hand to his serrated mouth and cleared his throat before addressing her. \"Do you know where you are?\"\n\nThe human hissed and swung at him with a flawed habd, but he caught that too in his mental grasp. \"THE LIGHT\" she screeched, \"I WILL TEAR OUT YOUR LIGHTS.\"\n\nSilver ichor dripped from her elongated fangs onto the floor below and it was only now that the captain realized that she had been devouring the bosun.\n\nWorse, she was gaining strength. The captain grunted as tears ran down his face. \"Do you know who you are?\" The human intensified her assault, threatening to rip out his throat at any moment. Frantically, he reached into his pocket and pulled out all the hopes he had for the future, riding on a single, silver cross. He held it in front of him and the human recoiled, her skin charring where the cross had been nearest. She crawled into the corner and hissed as he moved closer. \"What did you see?\" he demanded. \"What did you see in the black void!?\" He tripped over something, looked down, and wept.\n\nThe bosun, her eyes red and body ripped open, had grabbed his leg and was pulling herself towards him. She lunged forward and attached her lamprey-like mouth to the captain and began to drain his fluids. He faltered and his grasp on the human weakened. The last thing he saw was her wicked smile, fangs beared, and her now bat-like red eyes as they moved towards his neck.",
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2020-10-15T09:20:34 | 2020-10-15T09:12:23 | 30 | 16 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You have the ability to see possible futures. You’ve used this ability to prevent countless catastrophes from ever occurring. The world thinks you are an infamous serial killer. In reality, you are maintaining the best possible reality.",
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},
{
"content": "I cradled a small child in my hands, it's soft, innocent face looking up at me, half awake.\n\nThis is never something I wanted to do, killing evil adults who can fight back are one thing, but a baby, a fucking baby! But I've seen the future, the sleeping potential this boy will unleash when he is older. It may take a part of me, but I must do what I can to protect the future, all of mankind.\n\nSuddenly a light turned on in the room behind me, and footsteps drew near. \"Adolf, mommy's coming to check on you!\" A german accented woman said as she approached the door.\n\nIn a moment, I leapt from the window with a loud crash, surely alerting the woman and the baby's father. I sprinted fast as I can through their yard into the distant country side, ignoring the stinging pain in my arms and legs.\n\nThe baby was crying now, giving away my position to anyone who would happen to come close. I just kept running, and running. Good thing the German country side doesn't have many inhabitants.\n\nFinally a good distance away from any people I look back down in my hands, he's asleep again, must've been from all the rocking my arms did while running.\n\nI take out my knife and dangle it over the baby, everytime my blade even went an inch closer my hand would instinctively draw away, and I could feel God reserving a place in hell just for me. I couldn't kill him, I juggled the idea of leaving him in the forest, but that's just as good as killing him. \n\nNo, maybe he doesn't have to die, maybe he just needs a better future. Maybe I can give him that, but I'm no father, I've never even wanted kids. \n\nInstead I walk for hours and hours to the nearest town, and from there to the nearest city. There's a church that's currently not in session. I take the baby set him on the steps, and knock twice before darting off, hopefully unseen. \n\nWorld War II has, hopefully, been cancelled. I can only hope baby Adolf never goes down the path I've seen. May god, in his infinite wisdom forgive me for stealing an innocent baby from their home.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] You have the ability to see possible futures. You’ve used this ability to prevent countless catastrophes from ever occurring. The world thinks you are an infamous serial killer. In reality, you are maintaining the best possible reality.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "\"You wouldn't understand,\" I said. \n\nA wistful smile played on my lips. The red flush of alcohol just slightly peeking through at the top of my cheeks. My eyelids batted frequently, quickly. My legs were crossed, but they slowly, surely, slightly, moved apart, nudging my posterior to make myself more comfortable in this terrible bar chair.\n\n\"Try me,\" Maximilian Baxter said. He grabbed the chair next to mine, settling himself in. One finger raised up to the bartender. \n\n\"What would you like?\" he asked.\n\nI gestured my thumb towards my current drink, a half-finished sex on the beach.\n\nHe smirked. His mouth formed, but he thought a little better of it. He didn't know who I was. Not yet, anyway. He wouldn't push his luck. The fingers changed to two.\n\nThe bartender took notice, and like always, simply nodded. There were no need for words for a regular.\n\n\"I'm Max,\" he said. \"You?\"\n\n\"Max?\" I said. A breathy, breezy, boozy, chuckle here. \"That's pretty cute.\"\n\n\"I hope that's not the only thing you found cute,\" he said. \n\nThe drinks came. A whiskey sour for him. The usual.\n\nWe chatted. Inconsequential things. Which bastard got me down? \n\n\"You wouldn't understand,\" I said, again.\n\nWhat he did for a living. \n\n\"My place is nearby,\" he said. \n\nWhat he could do for me.\n\n\"It's by the beach, you know,\" he winked as I sipped my drink.\n\nWhat he wanted to do to me.\n\n\"Mm,\" he growled. That bulging vein looked positively delicious.\n\nWhat I wanted to do to him.\n\n\"Please,\" he gurgled. The blood, now caught in his throat. He continued choking words out. \"Please. What do you want? I can give it to you! Anything! Everything!\"\n\n\"You wouldn't understand,\" I purred.\n\nI didn't enjoy it. Not at all. It was necessary. \n\nI knew everything about him the moment the first words left his mouth. A plague, parasite, paralysis on society. He had to die.\n\n...\n\nHe was mostly still now. No movement in any of those muscles.\n\nI stabbed it once again for good measure. A barely audible yelp, and a small, involuntary jerk.\n\nOK, maybe I enjoyed it a little.\n\n---\n\nr/dexdrafts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-10-22T16:56:13 | 2020-10-22T13:29:13 | 14 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You’ve kept your superpowers a secret your whole life. Consequently, your captors have no idea they’ve made a grave mistake in attempting to traffic you.\n\n[deleted]",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I was hungry when I woke up. \n\nI was in a dark, damp room. Bars covered the windows while others cried in the background. The floors were covered in grime and I saw a rat in the corner, probably wondering why I had come into it's house.\n\nI let out a large sigh as a man entered my cell. He held a gun in his hand and pointed it at me as I got up.\n\n\"Move. Now.\" he snarled at me.\n\n\"Kidnapping? Really? How many people have you encountered with superpowers? Someone like me could break through this cell in a instant.\"\n\n\"If you had powers you would have used them by now.\" he remarked. He was trying to look confident but I could smell the fear on him. \n\n\"The clean up takes forever. Listen, let me out of here and I'll let you continue for the half a week before you get demolished by a hero.\"\n\n\"Shut your mouth and move.\" he barked at me as he pressed a gun to my stomach.\n\n\"Your funeral.\"\n\nI began growing, my body burning as I grew and changed into a more natural form.\n\n\"If they can find the pieces.\" three mouths proclaimed as I moved.\n\nWhen I finished, I awoke in a destroyed building. The captured were huddling in a corner looking at me in horror.\n\nI was no longer hungry.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You’ve kept your superpowers a secret your whole life. Consequently, your captors have no idea they’ve made a grave mistake in attempting to traffic you.\n\n[deleted]",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"I was under attack by people trying to take me I didn't mean to do it to anyone again, not after John, if you're wondering what I'm talking about it started a minute ago\"\n\nThe Interrogator questions \"What happened we need both sides of the story, and we may need to know the John story.\"\n\nYou continue \"The Captor looked around the empty streets of New York looking for their prey, someone who looked weak, I was the only one there, as you can see I'm a scrawny white guy I was a good target for a quick buck, they grabbed me from behind, but they didn't know, heck no one knew my secret weapon-\"\n\nThe Interrogator looks bewildered \"So you had a concealed firearm, that doesn't explain how the body was found in many chunks littered across the alleyway\"\n\nYou respond \"Let me finish, the Captor carried me into the alleys that was when I knew I had to use my power my ultimate ability dare I say my magnum opus, the Captor seemed constipated so I knew this was the perfect time, I used my piss-bending powers to send his piss through his body and rip him apart limb by limb I would've given him a more peaceful death but he didn't have enough to kill him instantly which is when he screamed alerting the police.\"\n\nThe Interrogator replies \"Your going to have to plead for insanity.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-11-05T02:17:05 | 2020-11-04T23:23:15 | 182 | 73 | [
{
"content": "[WP] When you entered cryogenic sleep, you expected to wake up in a futuristic world. Instead, you wake up in a dusty cave, a man wearing dark robes staring at you in horror.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The pod opened, Dimitri woke up gasping for breath. He got down on the ground from the pod, he looked at his feet and wiggled his toes, it quickly caught the dust that was on the surface. He realized he's in a dusty cave, he put his hands on his head and sat there disappointed.\n\nHe heard a crackle near him, \"Who is it?\" asked Dimitri.\n\nA man wearing dark robes came from the niche of the cave and showed himself, he was staring at him in horror.\n\n\"Please, tell me where I am?\" asked Dimitri.\n\n\"You're on Earth.\" the man in the robe took a step back.\n\n\"Earth when?\" he asked confused.\n\n\"I lost count of the year.\"\n\n\"What? Why are you afraid of me? I won't harm you, come a little close, I need to see you.\"\n\nThe man slowly came close to him. He was pale, tall and skinny. His chin sharp and eyes bright biege.\n\n\"Who are you and what happened here and how do I get out of here?\" Dimitri posed several questions.\n\n\"You ask one too many questions, human,\" he replied in a low voice.\n\n\"What do you mean by that?\"\n\nThe man stayed silent, \"Please, j-just tell me.\" Dimitri begged him.\n\n\"I'm the last surviving race of immortals, in your time they called us vampires. Humans have used the last of their resources. Earth did not provide them any further, they starved to death and Earth became a wasteland because of what humans inflicted to the planet. You can't get out of here.\" the man looked at the entrance of the cave and said, \"I haven't gotten out of this cave for as long as I can remember.\"\n\n\"Wait, I-I don't understand.\"\n\n\"Come look.\"\n\nDimitri went to the edge of the cave and saw the reality for what it is, the cave was on top of a mountain. Sunlight burned his skin, he came back inside.\n\n\"I'm one of the last surviving humans? And vampires are real? Why do you seem afraid of me?\" he asked.\n\n\"My ancestors have long feared the advancing race, this is only normal for me. We don't need food, we don't need water and before you ask, we have evolved further into a different race altogether detracting from our roots of bloodsucking predators. On the other hand humans like you need food and water.\"\n\nThe vampire further explained everything he had to know. Dimitri, after a few hours went to check the functions of the pod.\n\n\"Can you help me with something?\" he asked.\n\n\"Yes,\" said the vampire immediately.\n\n\"I'm going to go back into my pod and sleep for a while. Please stay near the pod. That's all I need.\"\n\n\"Hmm. I will do it.\"\n\n\"Thank you.\"\n\nDimitri laid down inside the pod, it closed the hatch. He looked to his left, the vampire sat next to him. He'd gone back to sleep for the last time.\n\nr/FleetingScripts",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] When you entered cryogenic sleep, you expected to wake up in a futuristic world. Instead, you wake up in a dusty cave, a man wearing dark robes staring at you in horror.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "This was certainly not what I had in mind when I had frozen myself in time for 80 years.\n\nIt was a dark cave. Strange, seeing how the place I had been frozen in wasnt a cave. \n\nThe cryo container had some sort of automatic releasing mechanism. Probably a timer of some sort. \n\nThis had to be a nightmare.\n\nSuddenly, I saw a light at the other end of the cave. I moved toward it. \n\n“Hello?” I asked in the darkness. I immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say.\n\nThe light revealed a man wearing dark robes. His eyes were wide. “*Artzên!* Witch!” The man cried out.\n\n“No, Im not a witch.”\n\n“Crańdka! Kill them!”\n\n“No!” I exclaimed, I panicked. “I dont think you need to do that.” I desperately look for a way out, but I cant find one.\n\nThen the man smiled. “Im only joking.” He said calmer and in much better English.\n\n“What?”\n\n“Its a script I made for myself. Ive had years of practice.”\n\n“Huh?”\n\nThe man smiled. “Im the last person on Earth. I knew they made these cryo thingamajigs that made the person wake up at a specific time. So, I waited and waited for one of them to open.”\n\nI shuddered. The man had taken it as you being too cold, even though it was actually about the last man on earth comment. He offers you one of his robes, and you accept.\n\n“So what happened?”\n\n“Climate change.”\n\n“No way climate change killed every one except one person. I dont think humans would be wiped out by climate change.” I still believed in climate change, but come on. No.\n\n“Earths demise was from the people called The Earths Justice. They engineered a virus that would wipe out humanity before earth would be in an irreversible state.”\n\n“Kinda like 2020?”\n\n“What?”\n\nThis man seriously hasnt heard of 2020? “Covid-19?” I elaborated.\n\nThe man clearly doesnt know what im talking about. “In any case, only those who went into these cave structures managed to survive. But not for long. Most of the ones that did survive died from a lack of medical supplies ironically.”\n\n“Speaking of which...” I noted, pointing to his arm. it seems to have some sort of infection on it.\n\n“Dont worry. Thats just a birthmark.” The man said smiling, but it seemed like a fake smile.\n\n“Ill explain more questions later. In the meantime, we’ve got another patient coming in in about 64 days. Better get started on preparing stuff!”\n\n“Hold on. What do I do until then? Did you say patient?” I protest.\n\n“Prepare for the new person.” The man said in an “isnt it obvious” tone.\n\n“No, but like, is there anything interesting?”\n\n“What else do you need?” The man asked thoughtfully.\n\nNothing to ever do. And Im stuck with talking to a crazy person for the rest of my life.\n\nSounds like the end of the world, all right.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-12-08T08:43:16 | 2020-12-08T07:34:34 | 142 | 76 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Your mother gives birth to a boy. However, he is revealed to be one of Zeus's bastard sons. You instantly understand what will happen, and take up your sword. You will protect your brother from Hera's wrath, or die trying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You'd read Percy Jackson, on top of every Greek Myth you could get your hand on as a kid. So you thought maybe, just maybe you were prepared for what was to come next.\n\nYour \"sword\" was a replica you'd picked up at a street fair, but hey...if gods are real then so is magic, and a bit of belief might be able to make this work in your favor. \n\nSo when your mother had gotten an invitation to bring your baby brother to the nearby park, you'd tagged along expecting the worst.\n\nWhat you hadn't expected was for a kind woman to sit down next to you on a bench and politely introduce herself as the goddess Hera while handing your a giant cone of your favorite ice-cream: cookies and cream.\n\n\"It's starting to melt dear,\" she said, her presence so warm and comforting that it had actually jarred you out of reality for a moment.\n\n\"Th-thank you,\" you say, staring at her in rapt confusion before you remember why you had come here. \n\n\"I won't let you take my brother,\" you state, as deathly serious as you can manage at the young age of fifteen, your false-bravery immediately quelling as she turns back towards you, her sunglasses lowering to reveal solid gold eyes.\n\nShe is wearing a fine blue pant-suit the colors of a peacock, and her hair is pulled up in a tight bun.\n\nIn many ways, she looks like a lost businesswoman or someone's older mother or young grandmother.\n\nBut she is so much more.\n\nYou expect a rant, a dark conversation to set your heart fluttering and your confidence crushed.\n\nInstead, she laughs, clear, pleasant, all menace seeming to vanish at that moment.\n\n\"Eat your icecream dear,\" she states with a wave of her hand as she turns, a whistful expression crossing over her face as you notice she is looking directly at your mother and joyfully cackling baby brother as she pushes him on a swing.\n\n\"So she is the latest of Zeus's abandoned darlings.\"\n\nThere was venom in that sentence, but you got the feeling that the anger was directed elsewhere.\n\n\"Tell me, is your mother married?\" she asked pointedly, turning back to you, freezing you in place as you'd finally gotten started on the ice cream.\n\n\"N-no, mam.\" you respond, shaking your head and looking down at the pavement, \"I never knew my dad.\"\n\n\"I'm sorry.\" she states, turning back to look at your mom, \"That poor woman.\"\n\n\"You aren't mad at her?\" you ask cautiously.\n\nShe laughs again, though this is a bitter one, \"Darling, why would I ever be mad at your poor mother? She didn't ask for Zeus, it is a very rare person that actively wanted his attention, let alone in the modern era.\"\n\n\"But...Heracles...and...\" you clam up when you see one of her eyebrows begin to rise.\n\n\"People change dear, even the Gods, more so the Gods in fact with the shifting of belief, and morality that shapes us in the minds of mortals, I was angry in my relative youth, and people paid for it, but never the right ones,\" she explained, a look of shame taking her for but a moment.\n\n\"So...what do you want?\" you asked tentatively, taking another bit of ice-cream, eliciting a motherly smile from Hera as she turned back to your family.\n\n\"Nothing, what matters is what your mother wants at this moment,\" Hera stated, \"I know the trial of raising children largely on your own, and I am a goddess dear one. Your brother is in no danger from me, but that does not mean they will not be in danger. I offer that warning, and a path forward to make you a true guardian of your family.\"\n\nShe waves at someone across the park who begins to make his way over, a tall, incredibly tall gentleman, with a long head of red hair, and beard. A wide friendly smile was on his face, as he dodged around the darting children. Despite his height, he looked almost normal, dressed in a plain t-shirt and jeans, but you had the feeling he was anything but.\n\n\"I can look after your family, my husband will look after you.\"\n\n\"Wait...Zeus?\" you ask the confusion on your face eliciting another laugh from the goddess.\n\n\"No darling, I divorced Zeus eons ago,\" she said with a wave of her hand, \"As the goddess of marriage, you'd think I would be owed a healthy one.\"\n\nYour jaw drops as you turn and look at the giant man, who bends down and kisses his wife on the cheek, before turning to you, \"Hello Kin of my Kiln, I am Prometheus, a wonder to meet you.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Your mother gives birth to a boy. However, he is revealed to be one of Zeus's bastard sons. You instantly understand what will happen, and take up your sword. You will protect your brother from Hera's wrath, or die trying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Iasonas sat on a stone in the backyard when his mother was in labour. She was inside, with the midwives, straining and crying out for relief as his sibling grew restless inside her body. A few minutes later, Iasonas heard cries, the cries of a baby from inside the house. And out of the blue, with a clear blue sky overhead, a bolt of lightning shot from the sky and destroyed the tree opposite to which Iasonas sat.\n\nHe ran inside, terrified, and told the midwives about the lightning and the tree that it had split. The midwives started whispering to each other. \"Zeus,\" was the one word Iasonas was able to make out. He asked them what they were talking about, but they brushed his questions off and hushed him and took him to see his baby brother instead.\n\nEver since that day, Iasonas had wondered about that day when the lightning fell out of the clear blue sky. He asked his mother about it. She didn't know either. And his father flew into a fit of rage when he asked him about it.\n\n\"Did that happen? Did that really happen?\" he asked Iasonas.\n\n\"Yes. It did. I was there, outside, when it happened. The tree split down the middle in front of my very own eyes.\"\n\nHis father started pacing the room and asked, \"Anyone else I can ask, or do I just have your word on this?\"\n\n\"I told the midwives too. They saw it for themselves. They said something about Zeus or someone.\"\n\nIasonas's father clenched his jaw, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and grabbed Iasonas by his arm. \"Let's go,\" he said. \"We're going to the midwives.\"\n\nThe midwives all glanced at Iasonas while they told the story and confirmed that what Iasonas had told his father was indeed the truth. Iasonas watched his father with elation, at first, as his story was confirmed. But this feeling slowly morphed into concern as he watched his father's face go redder and redder.\n\nWhen Iasonas and his father came back home, Iasonas found himself in the middle of a nasty quarrel. His father let all his rage fly out, and his face went from red to purple as he did so.\n\n\"This is what I get for working hard all day? This?\" he said, pointing towards Iasonas's baby brother. \"I should've known.\"\n\n\"It was the one time. I was lonely and he -\"\n\n\"One time's quite enough for a man like me. Now you listen, if I ever, ever, so much as hear a rumour about you roaming about with another man, you know what's coming.\"\n\nIasonas's mother said nothing.\n\n\"You understand,\" his father screamed. The baby woke up and started crying. Hot tears streamed down his mother's face.\n\nIasonas wouldn't know the reason behind his father's rage for at least two or three years, but one thing he understood was that his brother had been born in unusual circumstances.\n\nThe unusualness of the situation completely hit home in about a year when Iasonas learnt the legend of Hercules in a spartan camp.\n\n\"He was Zeus's son, Zeus the god of lightning. He possessed incredible strength -\"\n\nThat's how the tale began. And the lightning and his little brother's incredible strength more or less confirmed his suspicions.\n\nThe next year, when he was taught the biology of a human being and about how babies were conceived, his suspicions were confirmed. Finally, he understood the reason behind his father's anger and his mother's sad tears.\n\nWith this part of the mystery solved, he turned to his history teacher to learn more about the sons of Zeus who had existed earlier. His teacher told him how Zeus did not like the infamy of having bastard children and often tried to get rid of them. He told Iasonas about Hera, Zeus's wife, who often took offence to the bastard children and tried to kill them. With this information in his mind and the knowledge of the unusual accidents his three-year-old brother had lately got himself into, Iasonas picked his sword up.\n\nIasonas took the sword and pricked his finger with it, and he took a blood oath to protect his brother from threats mortal and immortal. Under his feet, the ground shook and cracked. Through the cracks of the Earth and from the heavens above, the sound of a lady's voice echoed.\n\n\"You have chosen a path that will lead you to your doom, mortal. The child will be mine, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.\"\n\n\"Bring it on,\" Iasonas said as he creased his brows and struck his sword into one of the cracks on the ground.",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2020-12-18T07:31:31 | 2020-12-18T07:18:10 | 321 | 132 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Since the age of 14, you’ve noticed a monster stalking you. A few years later, you’ve noticed that it seems very protective over you and will even go through extreme lengths to protect you. It’s usually friendly, but it seems threatening when your childhood friend is around.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "You never meant no harm, did you? \n\nIf only you could have convinced the creature. I never saw it, just its shadow. Sometimes in the dead of night, with the glow of nothing but the moon and the burning end of my cigarette, I'd see its shadow. Sometimes in the curtains when the windows were closed and house was empty, I'd see them ruffle. Sometimes a candle would turn to a wisp of smoke, its whisper enough to make the flame wane. That's how I knew it still followed. \n\nBut it never struck. Just lurked there on the edge of my vision, like death and danger that follows you around and catches you when you're least expecting. \n\nThat was what you always said. And I almost listened. How couldn't I?\n\nYou were my everything. The light that came to me on those dark nights, and the darkness that washed over me when I couldn't sleep. The moon and my dreams. You were kindness when kindness called, and you were cruel when kindness couldn't cut it. \n\nI didn't need more. I needed you. Only you, I thought.\n\nIf only you could have convinced the creature. I think you saw it more than I did. You saw it rear its ugly head and roar, and that's what sent you scampering back into the darkness like a dog that's been kicked. You only peeked your head out again once the creature had returned to its shadows.\n\nIt bided its time and you bode yours. But in the nights, in the whisper of summer breezes and the cool chill of an autumn wind, the creature purred its poison and turned me 'round. Slow, steady, like the drip of a leaky faucet as it floods first the sink and then the floor, and the leak continues until it drowns me. And then I'm weightless. And then I'm free. And then I know the creature knows best.\n\nThen I didn't need more. I didn't need you.\n\nAnd the creature knew. The touch of its wrinkled fingers was cool against my skin. The tantalizing tease of its touch; the woo of its words; the tickle of temptation, and I embraced it. \n\nAnd the creature knew. The creature knew that someday you'd come for me. You'd try to tear me from its loving grasp, try to take me from what I was and make me into what I didn't want to be. We couldn't have that, could we?\n\nWe couldn't let you take me somewhere dark, away from me what I needed most. So when you came that evening, answering my call like you always did, we only did what we had to do. Right? The creature knew. I knew. We knew. \n\nYou'll be warm there. The ground takes longer to ice in wintertime so you'll be warm there. You always said you wanted to help, but I didn't need your help, see?\n\nThe creature was all the help I needed. It pointed where to dig. Where to put the dirt. How to drag your body and cover our tracks. And then, when the night was quiet, just the purr of its pretty secrets in my ear, I knew it'd known best.\n\nYou never meant no harm, did you? That's what you always said. Well, I think you did. The creature told me so.\n\n*****\n\nThanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please check out more stories at r/MatiWrites. Constructive criticism and advice are always appreciated!",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Since the age of 14, you’ve noticed a monster stalking you. A few years later, you’ve noticed that it seems very protective over you and will even go through extreme lengths to protect you. It’s usually friendly, but it seems threatening when your childhood friend is around.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "On my 14th birthday, I had my friends over. Carter and his mom had moved away by that point, but he still sent me a message saying that since he was wishing me a happy birthday (\"because friends never forget birthdays\"). Me and some of the girls from school stayed up watching horror movies.\n\nThat's all I thought it was at first - the aftershocks of one too many jump-scares. I'd find myself in front of the bathroom mirror and check over my shoulder. Look to the side to try to spot whatever was moving in the shadows as I walked down the hall.\n\nI figured it was nerves.\n\nThe shadows started to coalesce over the next few days, swelling into a hulking darkness. A darkness that followed me, like it was the eyes of people around me. Boys. Men.\n\nThat's when I would sense him the most.\n\nLike there was this white van that used to park outside of our school in the afternoon and one day the guy inside called me over. He said he could tell I was special - smarter than the other girls my age. That he had a way he could prove it.\n\nThe shadow standing next to me flared crimson. I smiled to the guy in the van and said, \"My friend thinks you're a creep. You'd probably better leave before something bad happens to you.\"\n\nThen I walked away, ignoring the words he shouted at my back.\n\n* * *\n\nOther birthdays came. I got a driver's license. Tried - and failed - to teach myself to play acoustic guitar.\n\nThe month before I moved away for college, Carter was staying at his dad's. I hadn't heard from him much but I thought it would be fun to see my friend before I left.\n\nWe were drinking Bud Light in the basement that functioned as his dad's Man Cave. The fluorescent tubes shown down on splits in the leather of the sofa. I started telling Carter about wanting to be a sociology major, and he just listened. Staring at the can in his hands, fiddling with the tab.\n\n\"You've got a lot of nerve,\" he cut in when I was in the middle of telling him about my roommate.\n\n\"I'm sorry?\"\n\n\"Thank you for apologizing.\"\n\n\"No, I meant...\" I frowned. \"What do you mean?\"\n\n\"I just think it's pretty shitty to mess with your friend like this.\"\n\nI felt stirring in the corners of the room. I touched his shoulder and he flinched.\n\n\"Carter,\" I said, \"what are you talking about?\"\n\nThe temperature in the room seemed to drop by ten degrees. His eyes left his beer to glare at me. \"After everything I've done for you, and after the way you treated me, you just breeze back into my life without so much as an expression of regret.\"\n\nThe shadows around us were pulsing.\n\n\"I'm sorry I hurt you,\" I said. \"But I'm honestly not sure what you're talking about.\"\n\nHe laughed, then, but the laugh was mirthless. Aggressive. His finger jabbed my collarbone. \"Kayla, I thought you were different. Special.\"\n\nMy breath became shallow. \"Stop touching me.\"\n\nHe rolled his eyes. \"I think you like to be touched.\"\n\nI shook my head, guessed some of his next words before he said them: \"Because you're just another slut, like all the others.\"\n\nThen darkness cloaked my vision until I didn't hear him anymore.\n\n* * *\nFeedback welcome. There's more stories on my sub, /r/ShadowsofClouds",
"role": "assistant"
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2021-04-08T09:32:43 | 2021-04-08T08:12:00 | 312 | 69 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You can detect lies easily, but no one knows about your ability. Today, your best friend lied about being human",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "Ida and I had both worked at Target for about two years now, with her starting just a month or so after I had, and we just clicked as friends. Working in soft lines, there were a lot of chill moments rehanging clothes or organizing a mess of a pile back into its proper, orderly state (only to have it go back to a mess again, of course).\n\nMy gift of detecting lies was barely useful as a superpower, since I had absolutely no desire to make a living out of it working in law enforcement, and I’d known that even early in my teen years. But it did make for some interesting encounters in retail, that’s for sure. The lies were sometimes innocuous, a large Lego set for someone’s son when, I guessed, it was actually for them. Or mentioning their *sibling* had spilled something on their tablet, needing them to buy a new one, when it was likely they were saving the embarrassment of confessing it was them. \n\nMostly, though, customer service was straightforward. Typical customers, (sorry, *guests*), just knew what they wanted and came in for it, or just enjoyed browsing the shelves in the way that most people do in Target. Of course, the more exciting and lie-ridden episodes did happen, few and far between as they were, when a raging Karen tumbled out complaint after complaint. Then again, anyone could tell when someone like that was full of shit.\n\nToday, our shifts overlapping, we both had an overabundance of guests trying our patience and after our shift ended at eight p.m., we decided to head back to my apartment for a nightcap. Splaying out on my large, comfy couch with a six-pack I’d grabbed from my fridge and musing about what we could watch on Netflix, Ida let out a sigh.\n\n“We don’t get paid enough for this job,” she said, leaning back into the comfy cushions.\n\n“No, but fifteen an hour isn’t bad, especially compared to what the price of living is on the northern outskirts of the city,” I pointed out.\n\n“Right, but it’s just…tiring.” She took a long drink from her bottle.\n\n“Yeah. Hey, we’re only human.”\n\n“Yeah, true.”\n\n*False*.\n\nI blinked. I looked over to her, lowering my beer bottle. “You’re only human?”\n\n“Yeah,” she muttered, taking another drink, unaware of my strange glance to her.\n\n*False*.\n\nStaring at my best friend, I was baffled. Could it be wrong? I’d never experienced an inaccurate assessment from my power, but there was a first time for everything. I mean, my best friend, not human? How was that even possible? What would that make her?\n\nWe sat in silence for a while, enjoying the contrast between the sometimes chaotic and always busy work at Target. Well, Ida was. I was trying to make puzzle pieces fit together in my head. “Ida?”\n\n“Yeah?”\n\nI swallowed hard. She *was* my best friend. The fact that I hadn’t told her this at all spoke mostly to my insecurities about it, the burden of people knowing they couldn’t lie to me. And I was reluctant to make that gigantic shift in our relationship, but I knew I’d never be able to let this go. It would be in the back of my mind, building and building, until I just needed the truth. Because even when someone lies to you, of course, that doesn’t tell you much. It doesn’t tell you *why*.\n\n“I’ve got a power.”\n\nIda darted her eyes to me. “What?” she asked, mostly in confusion but also curiosity.\n\n“I never told you because…it’s…I’m a lie detector,” I forced out.\n\nShe slowly smiled. “Just never seemed like the right time to mention it? Or is it too awkward, people knowing?”\n\nI stared for a moment. “You just said you’re only human.”\n\nThe smile dropped from her face and comprehension bloomed as her beer bottle lowered to rest on her thigh. She swallowed hard. “Um…”\n\n“Ida,” I said slowly, “tell me something’s wrong. The phrasing of the question, the…meaning behind it, philosophically, metaphorically. Tell me something!”\n\nGrimacing, she leaned forward and put her bottle on the coffee table before leaning back with a sigh. “It’s not a lie.”\n\n“What the hell!” I shouted, slamming my bottle down on the table with considerably more force than she had, making her flinch. “My power made things awkward, but this is a whole other level. What are you?”\n\nThe accusation, and maybe the way I’d said it, made her face crumple, and something in me poked at me, reminding me that this was my best friend, that we knew *almost* everything about each other. And I knew she was a good person, morally and ethically. Or at least I was pretty sure I knew that. What if she’d been pulling the wool over my eyes this whole time?\n\n“I trust you, Jeanette,” she said finally, meeting my gaze. “It wasn’t about that. You’re my absolute best friend in the world. It’s about regulations.”\n\nEverything she was saying now rang true and my temper edged back a few inches. “What does that mean?” I asked quietly.\n\n“You might not be safe,” she said quietly. “We can keep it between us, yeah, but you aren’t meant to know about this. And if my superiors found out, they’d likely just kill you.”\n\nGoosebumps prickled across my arms, but even as the fear set in, I couldn’t let this go. I knew myself and it would eat me until I just had to understand what this was. “Please,” I murmured.\n\nHesitating, Ida took a long breath and let it out. “I wasn’t…born. I was built.” I stayed silent, having no idea how to respond to that, just needing more information. “Everything about me is biological, I bleed red, I cry tears, but it was created to *look* human, not be human. I was created by another species, an alien species that I sort of consider myself a part of, if only because they’re the closest to parents that I’ve got. I was trained to speak English, trained in the cultures of Earth and…dropped onto the planet. To observe. The planet’s basically a wildlife preserve, considering how primitive you are at this stage, but we want to know how things are progressing, to know when and how to introduce you to…everyone else.” I just stared. “I need you to talk to me. Is this okay?” \n\n“Is this… I don’t know!” I exclaimed. “How am I supposed to answer that? You’re…”\n\n“Still your best friend,” she said quietly. “I hope.”\n\nAnd that rang true, both sentences. She was, wasn’t she? Two years of hanging out and bonding over shared television obsessions, complaining about retail work or relishing in the days where something wonderful happened, or having days off for our birthdays where we splurged on dinner out somewhere nice. Everything about her was still there, still *her*.\n\n“You are,” I said. Hope slid into her expression and I smiled back. “You’re still…you. Nothing would change that. I’m curious though, what’s the endgame for Earth?”\n\nIda shrugged. “That’s not up to us. Every time an advanced civilization tries to skip a few steps, help another planet along, things go wrong. Things already go wrong when they make it out to center stage in the universe with the rest of us, because regardless of species, somehow we all want similar things. Power. Control. Prosperity. Introducing you guys now, though, would be like an invasive species, except it’s you who would suffer.”\n\nAt that, I had an unexpected rush of optimism. Others were doing it, for real, out there in the endless expanse of space and stars and planets. It was no longer a pipe dream, getting off this rock and spreading through the system, and I felt an incredible buoyancy in my chest. This was unprecedented and, likely, I was the only human to know about this, or if there were others, they were staggeringly few. It felt like an honor beyond anything I could’ve imagined.\n\n“Okay,” I said.\n\n“Okay?” Ida asked.\n\nI nodded. “I know when people are lying, and that’s been a huge burden my whole life.” I shrugged. “What’s one more secret?”\n\nIda’s face split into a wide smile and she leaned forward, grabbing me in a hug, which I returned. Leaning back, I glanced at the beer and raised an eyebrow. “This isn’t gonna cut it tonight,” I told her, pushing myself to my feet.\n\n“Liquor cabinet?”\n\n“Liquor cabinet.”\n\n&#x200B;\n\n/r/storiesbykaren",
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"content": "[WP] You can detect lies easily, but no one knows about your ability. Today, your best friend lied about being human",
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"content": "# Bargain Bin Superheroes\n\n(Arc 2, Part 3: Tupperman v.s. Connor Elman)\n\n(Note: Bargain Bin Superheroes is episodic; each part is self-contained. This story can be enjoyed without reading the previous sections.)\n\n**Empathy is a strange power.** Almost all people have it, in one way or another; I simply have a little more of the stuff than most. In that respect, I sometimes wonder if my so-called superpower is even useful at all.\n\nBecause you didn't need superpowers to tell something was wrong with my best friend.\n\nI walked back home, mind still buzzing with the business of the day, when I smelled alcohol on the air—the sweet and cloying kind, not the sharp and antiseptic kind. As a politician and an ex-superhero, I knew the difference—and as Tupperman's best friend, I knew what the former meant.\n\nI fumbled the door open and burst into my home.\n\nTupperman was demurely sitting on the couch, morosely staring at a Tupperware container sloshing with wine.\n\nA half-dozen emotions whirled through me in an instant. Anger. He was supposed to be watching my daughter. Panic. If he lost control, Tupperman could easily kill everyone in this house. Self-loathing. Tupperman was my friend; he would never hurt me, and it was an insult to our friendship to think that he could.\n\nFear.\n\nTupperman might not be able to hurt me, but he had fewer such compunctions when it came to himself.\n\nDetermination.\n\nTupperman had protected me from assassins and villains; I could help him fight his inner demons, too.\n\n\"Hey,\" I said, carefully sitting next to him. I put one hand on his shoulder, igniting the empathic link, and suddenly I wanted to claw at my flesh and tear myself apart because I was wrong and I was a cancer and I needed to be excised from the world and—\n\nMy hand jolted back of its own accord, as if I'd touched a hot stove. Tupperman snorted.\n\n\"So. That's how much it sucks being me, huh? You can't even handle *empathizing* with me for half a second.\" Tupperman downed the Tupperware container of wine, spilling it over his shirt—the boxy little thing was never meant to be drank from. He tossed the empty Tupperware box aside, materialized a new one in his hand, and refilled it from a dark, unlabeled bottle. \"I—I mean, I knew that already. *I* can hardly stand being me all the time, and I deserve it.\"\n\nI wanted to punch myself for reflexively jerking back, but I took that emotion and quelled it. The empathic link went both ways; he would feel it if I was filled with hatred and disgust. Gently, I placed my hand on his, and I didn't deserve to be helped or touched because I was selfish, I was a monster, I was a wolf, I was useless before and I was *even more useless now*...\n\nI let Tupperman's self-loathing and hatred flow from him into me, wordlessly meeting his eyes for a liquid, slow moment.\n\nThen I said, \"Connor—\"\n\n\"Don't call me that,\" Tupperman snapped. \"That's a human name. A name for someone who deserves to be a *person.* I'm not a person. I'm a supervillain. I'm evil. I'm the bad guy.\"\n\n\"You're human,\" I whispered. \"You're one of the best humans I know. Please, Connor, it scares me to see you like this.\"\n\nImmediately, I knew I'd made a mistake. Bitter laughter spilled from Tupperman's lips even as I felt his thoughts roiling and twisting: *See? Showing her your self-hatred just hurt her too, hurt her in ways she doesn't deserve, and because you hurt her, you deserve this. You should've kept this hidden. You should've stayed away from her. You destroy whatever you touch.*\n\nSuddenly, Tupperman straightened up. He flicked my hand away, brushed a few unidentifiable crumbs off his shirt, and slapped a saccharine grin on his face. \"Well, gosh golly, Clara, that makes it all better. You're right. You win. I'm human. I deserve happiness. You've convinced me. Now leave me alone.\"\n\nI didn't have to have superpowers to know that he was lying. I laid my hand back on his and shook my head. \"I'm not going anywhere, Connor. You *are* human, and you're *not* evil.\"\n\nAnd suddenly, I was flying backwards in a plastic cage. The world whirled around me as I slammed into the wall and couldn't hold back a cry of pain. \"IS THAT RIGHT?\" Tupperman thundered. Dazed, I tried to push my way out of the human-sized Tupperware box he'd materialized; as soon as I popped the lid open and tried to clamber out, however, the old box dematerialized, and a slightly smaller box materialized around me. \"IS THIS SOMETHING A REAL HUMAN WOULD DO? OR IS THIS THE WORK OF A MONSTER? A SUPERVILLAIN? A—A *CARICATURE*?\" Every time I tried to move, every time it seemed like I would claw my way out of Tupperman's prison, a slightly smaller, slightly more choking box materialized around me. I tripped and fell to my knees, and when I tried to get back up, unyielding plastic stood in my way. I looked up, heart pounding, to see tears streaming down Tupperman's face.\n\nI swallowed heavily. Without my empathy, there was no way to know for sure whether what I was about to say would be right. I could doom both him and myself with a word.\n\nBut even with all the superpowers in the world, that still would've been true. I didn't need a magical guarantee that he wouldn't hurt me when I had the strongest such guarantee in existence already.\n\nTupperman was my friend.\n\nAnd I believed in him.\n\n\"If I'm a good person,\" he finally said, \"then why am I hurting you right now?\"\n\nI looked up and said, quietly, \"Because you're in pain, Connor. And because there is nothing more human than sharing your pain with others.\" I stood up and stepped out of my box; this time, Connor didn't stop me. \"Let me share your pain.\" I held out my arms, but I didn't move any further.\n\nHe'd have to take this step himself.\n\nAnd he did. All at once, he surged forward, my powers connecting our emotions wherever we touched, and I *hated* myself, but I *loved* myself, and I was so scared of being worthless, and I was reassuring myself that just by being me I was precious and valuable, and I felt like I was trapped in a deep, cold chasm, and I was sitting beside myself, holding myself to keep me warm.\n\nEmpathy is a strange power.\n\nBut all of us have it, in some form or another.\n\nWhen the torrent of a thousand thoughts slowed to a crawl, Tupperman finally said, \"...Time was, the things you fought were... people. Supervillains that shot fire or breathed ice. Things I could protect you from. I could stand between you and the bad guys. But now... now that you're a Mayor... you're playing a game of politics with faceless masses and government institutions and I can't protect you from that.\" He held me as if he'd never let go. \"And I'm scared. I'm so, so scared.\"\n\nI took a step back; reluctantly, Tupperman relinquished his grasp on me. \"Connor. You don't have to protect me to be a good person.\"\n\nHe clenched his fists. \"I know that. But it's what heroes do, and—\"\n\n\"You don't have to be a *hero* to be a good person, either.\"\n\nHe started trembling. \"Then—then—\"\n\n\"You just have to be my friend.\"\n\nTupperman closed his eyes.\n\nThen Connor Elman, the kid who made sarcastic jokes every day since we'd met in middle school, the man who'd watched over my daughter and stayed by my side through government assassins and political maneuvers, opened his eyes.\n\nAnd he smiled through the tears.\n\nA.N.\n\nI'm trying something new! \"Bargain Bin Superheroes\" will be an episodic story where each part is inspired by a writing prompt that catches my eye. Check out [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bubblewriters/comments/mhzat1/bargin_bin_superheroes_masterpost/) for more information. As always, I had fun writing this, and I hope you have a good day.",
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2021-05-30T10:56:34 | 2021-05-30T09:19:22 | 96 | 59 | [
{
"content": "[WP] 37. That is how many times you have died of unnatural causes. Every time you do, you get reset to the age of 5, retaining all of your past memories. You think that this is finally the time you get to move on with life.",
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"content": "“I never intended to die, especially not how it happened the first time. Fire and smoke are especially painful, even if you get *reset* afterwards. \n\nThe first time, I thought time had been rewound; it had but only partially. My 14 year old body was suddenly that of a 5 year old. My mind still intact. I rushed home to see my parents. I wasn’t sure which home though. When I was 5, we lived in a small village and now we live in London. I quickly realized that only my body had been reset; time had not. My parents were still dead. \n\nLuckily, we were new and no one knew us. So they just assumed their kid was 5, not 14. \n\nIt has been 500 years since that day. 5 full centuries, 37 times that I’ve died of unnatural causes. 37 times I’ve had to start my life over as a small child; small even for a 5 year old. 37 times I’ve had to deal with foster homes or living on the streets. Hiding my true identity and playing dumb. I tried to just be 14 year old me a few times and that just brought too much attention. Attention that later would cause yet another unnatural death reset just before my body turned 15.\n\nNow, in America I’ve settled. Things have changed a lot in 500 years. I’ve finally made it past 16 years old. My new family is actually pretty great. I’m now 35 years old and have a family and kid. I’m happy. Though I often feel out of place. I finally feel like I’m living my life. \nThough I worry for my daughter. I never told what happens on her 5th birthday. She got scraped on her knee from her bicycle, her birthday gift. That wasn’t the unusual part. A few days later she fell out of a tree and broke her neck. She died instantly. She then suddenly changed. As if reset. Suddenly her scrape on her knee was gone. She got up thinking nothing of it. \nNow I know she’s cursed just like me, but much worse. I’ve haven’t told her yet. I’m dying of cancer. I have maybe 12 months to live. I don’t know how to tell her that I’ll die but be reborn a child, as she was once already. \nI thought this was finally the time I get to move on with my life. I guess it is, just not the way I had hoped. \nSleep well my sweet Madeleine. “\n\n— Your Father \n\nThat was all my father wrote in his suicide note.",
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"content": "[WP] 37. That is how many times you have died of unnatural causes. Every time you do, you get reset to the age of 5, retaining all of your past memories. You think that this is finally the time you get to move on with life.",
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"content": "Five. \n\nThere's a nice, normal number. Nobody overuses *five* to an extent which makes anyone cringe. \n\nSo it's nice to be five again. Quite old enough to be aware (even without the accumulated knowledge from all my past lives) of the existence of the number 37, and of many greater, much more significant numbers. \n\nBut 37 has an odd bit of trivia attached to it at this moment in time. In my most recent life (apparently my 37th, though I personally stopped counting after six) I encountered an entirely disproportionate amount of people who seemed to be obsessed with that number, 37. In fact, I heard it unsubtly forced into so many conversations in which it had no reasonable place, eventually I gagged so hard at it that I sort of died. So (in a quite metaphorical kind of way) that wretched little pair of digits played as much a part in my death as it (or anyone else) ever could. Which is to say not much. \n\nNow I'm certain you'll want to say something along the lines of \"but it sounds like you're the one who is obsessed with 37.\" And how am I so sure of this, you ask? Well, to be honest... You're tediously predictable. You'll probably even draw a comparison to that one movie with Jim Carrey where he didn't talk out of his butt and was obsessed with a number.\nHaha just kidding. You're great. So was the movie. It's just that I've lived a lot more lifetimes on this big, bipolar dirtball than it takes to learn how gaslighting is attempted. You'd have to get up pretty damned early in the morning... Anyway I never did learn what drives someone to do it, though. If I had to guess, I'd say that same big, bipolar dirtball must rub off on those who are too weak minded to resist its influence. \nIronic, then, that *I* would be the one who seemed to be stuck on the damned thing for so long. I know of at least one way off, though. But I'm only five, and I happen to have inside knowledge that this lifetime is going to be a lot longer than most I've lived so far. That gives me plenty of time to think of even more ways to distance myself from this bipolar dirtball and its weird, creepy obsession with me. Since I detest violence, I'll focus on ways that *don't* involve taking 37 \"innocent\" people with me. But i think I'm beginning to detest this dirtball even more. So there's always that chance.",
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2021-06-05T03:42:38 | 2021-06-05T03:11:31 | 263 | 56 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You're an immortal vampire who looks like a 20 year old. When someone learns that you're a vampire they always assume that you're hundreds of years old and want to hear about all your adventures, though you're actually 53 and you're always too embarassed to correct them.",
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"content": "\"The war?\"\n\n\"The war.\"\n\n\"Ah, who could ever forget the war? It was a frenzied time, certainly. Who knew that one man could make such a difference to the world? Nobody knew what was going to happen--and that was what made everything so much more interesting. A battle between good and evil, morphing into an intergalactic battle following the destruction of Alderaan...\"\n\n\"... Wait, are you talking about World War II?\"\n\n\"Oh. Right. That war? Uh, I meant the Civil War.\"\n\n\"... Alderaan? Isn't that from...\"\n\n\"Hahaha. I was just joking! It just sounds similar to... Atlanta, you know. Crucial state during the Civil War.\"\n\n\"OK. I guess. So which side were you on?\"\n\n\"I mean, Dark side all the way. I know, I know, it's kind of a poser move, but--\"\n\n\"Dude.\"\n\n\"Oh. Union, of course. Whichever side Hamilton was on.\"\n\n\"What? Hamilton? Like, Alexander Hamilton?\"\n\n\"Yeah! Like, the musical, right? A totally accurate representation, by the way.\"\n\n\"Hamilton died before the Civil War. He fought during the Revolution.\"\n\n\"Oh. Of course he did. I meant, if Hamilton was *alive* during the Civil War, he would definitely be Union, you know? Like me!\"\n\n\"... You are centuries old, right?\"\n\n\"O--of course! It's just, you know, memories. After a couple hundred years, everything gets so jumbled up! I distinctly remember holding a blaste--I mean, musket. You know, those old-timey things.\"\n\n\"Sure...\"\n\n\"And lightsabers. My god, they are so interesting.\"\n\n\"Lightsabers? From Star Wars?\"\n\n\"Oh. No no, I meant like, a light sabre! You know, light, heavy.\"\n\n\"How old are you, really?\"\n\n\"Four hundredish? Three hundred? Two? The centuries mix up so quickly, you know. Sorry, I thought you wanted to know about Star Wars. It was a crazy time, you know. And I've been so obsessed with it, honestly. Streaming services? So easy to do a marathon any time I want.\"\n\n\"... As crazy as World War II?\"\n\n\"Well, no. But, it's still pretty interesting. And far less gory.\"\n\n\"You know what. Sure. Tell me more.\"\n\n\"About Star Wars?\"\n\n\"About Star Wars.\"\n\n\"Of course! Plus, you thought people hated The Last Jedi? Well, if you were alive during Empire...\"\n\n---\n\nr/dexdrafts",
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{
"content": "[WP] You're an immortal vampire who looks like a 20 year old. When someone learns that you're a vampire they always assume that you're hundreds of years old and want to hear about all your adventures, though you're actually 53 and you're always too embarassed to correct them.",
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"content": "\\[Poem\\]\r \nBorn in the dark\r \nbut I did not know\r \nwhat made me different \r \nthan the rest of you folk.\r \nIt hurt in the beginning \r \nto sacrifice my friends\r \nbut you adapt\r \nto the hunting trends.\r \nI play with my victims\r \nby playing along,\r \nthe play is delicious\r \ntill I turn playfully strong.\r \nI take them on a journey\r \nthose that I call friends\r \nI tell them my truth\r \nbefore their lives end.\r \nAnd I am brutally honest\r \nI expose myself\r \ngaining sympathy and trust\r \nI count till twelve.\r \nWhen it turns midnight\r \nI come out the screen.\r \nThe call ends\r \nI savor the pain.\r \nFor I hunt them down through words,\r \nwords on the global network.\r \nSeek those that show emotion\r \nThen around them, I lurk.\r \nI tell them how I envy them,\r \nthey can live without inflicting pain.\r \nI pretend to like what I do\r \nYet somehow we are the same.\r \nTheir life progress\r \nI have had the honor to see\r \nmilestones of those\r \nthat were born with me.\r \nAnd they produce offspring\r \nwho are just as obsessed\r \nwith my kind\r \nI let them be my guest.\r \nWhen the young ones \r \nprofess their love for me\r \nI am disgusted\r \nI am only fifty-three.\r \nI am attracted to their mothers\r \nand aunts and their protectors\r \nyet I have no mate\r \nfor their blood is my nectar.\r \nI have searched far and wide\r \nfor another like me\r \nthere are many with my fangs\r \nbut no brain that could agree\r \nwith my thoughts\r \nand there is no heart\r \nthat will beat like mine\r \nwhich is what sets me apart.\r \nYou see, I am not like other vampires\r \nat heart, I am a human.\r \nA human with sinful needs\r \nAnd a superior acumen.\r \nSo I am alone \r \nand I am lonely.\r \nDoomed to this life\r \nwhere I am the only\r \none who survives\r \nI know you feel my pain\r \nSo now that you feel through my words\r \nI will not abstain.\r \nI have felt your emotion\r \nI will come for you next\r \nwatch out for me at midnight\r \nand give your screens some rest.",
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2022-03-23T12:40:36 | 2022-03-23T11:32:15 | 551 | 60 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a superhero who keeps his identities private, even your sidekick doesn't know your normal identity. Today you come home to find your wife in bed with your sidekick.",
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"content": "I open the door.\n\nAnna is the first to speak, as I expected. “This isn’t what it looks like!” she cries out. “Arius, please, I can explain –“\n\nI let her continue to speak, though the words do no not register. I hear her screams. I hear his bones crack beneath my fists. I still hear the pounding of silence in my ears. The cries, the shouts; Victor rushing to the bloody scene as the tracker around Peter’s wrist showed his vital signs dropping precipitously. Disjointed fragments.\n\n“ – made a mistake, he was there for me when I needed someone, and you were never around –“\n\n*Never around*? I could have laughed. All those times I had neutralised the threats to her life, all the kidnapping attempts I had foiled? Had they amounted to nothing?\n\nThen again, considering my power, perhaps they had.\n\n“Hey, man…” Peter says. For his part, he appears genuinely uncomfortable with the situation. I know the signs – the small hitch in his breath as he speaks, the way that his eyes don’t quite meet mine. “I know that you’re angry and all, but –“\n\nThis time, I interrupt him. “Angry?” I asked, amused. *Genuinely*. “Why would I be angry?”\n\nThat cut him short, his brain seeming to short-circuit for an instant. “*What*?”\n\n“I said, why would I be angry?” I walk into the room, ignoring their unclothed appearance. It only stings a little that Anna draws the sheets tighter around herself, looking at me with wide, wary, uncertain eyes. “By all means. Continue.”\n\nI sit down on the chair, waving them on. The pair – whose moans and cries I had heard from well beyond outside my own bedroom door – look as me as they never had before. There is none of Aegis’ usual adoration and respect for his mentor. Anna, the love of my life, stares at me with wide eyes, her expression filled with disbelief, unable to voice even a word.\n\nThis time, it is Peter who speaks first. “E- excuse me?”\n\n“You two were so enthusiastic at it before,” I say, shrugging. “Go on, *Aegis*. And what was that you said earlier, Anna? You wanted him to show you what happens after the superhero rescues the damsel in distress?”\n\nThat horrible line is still etched in my memory, as much as I try to forget it.\n\nPeter’s face blanches. “You – you *heard*?”\n\n“Heard what? That you are, in fact, Aegis? Up and rising star of the League of Heroes? Your boasts of how you have never been defeated by a villain?” I say, and now, I pause. “Or, perhaps, that Anna is the first one you’ve revealed your real identity to?”\n\n“Arius, what is going on?” Anna asks. There is a new emotion, now. *Fear*. “You – this isn’t you, Ari – I made a mistake, please, you’re scaring me –“\n\nPeter is visibly uncomfortable by this point. “L- look, man, you’ve got to keep this to yourself,” he says slowly. “If anyone finds out, it’s not just me who’s in danger! Your wife –“\n\n“Why would anyone ever find out?” I interrupt, moving to the bedside. “Don’t worry, Aegis. I understand *perfectly*. It will be like none of this ever happened, I promise.”\n\nNeither of them know quite how to react to this seemingly new side of me. They exchange nervous glances, and I see a faint spark of yellow pooling by Peter’s palm as his power stirs.\n\n“I taught you that lesson myself, after all,” I continue to say, smiling widely. “Well done, Aegis! You remembered to keep your civilian identity protected!”\n\nDisappointingly, the stunned expressions on their faces deliver no satisfaction. I only feel hollow… *bored*.\n\n“Y-you?”\n\nBoth speak at once. Confusion. Fear.\n\n“Me,” I say simply. “*Tyr*.”\n\n“But – how – I don’t understand –“\n\n“Do you know *why* that was the first lesson I ever taught you, Aegis? Why I never revealed my real identity, not even to you – or her?” I ask, ignoring Peter’s stammering. “It’s simple, really. They call me undefeatable, and it is true. Coming after you, or *you*, or anyone else I care about is the only way that any of the villains wishing me harm can ever truly hurt me.”\n\nThey are silent for some time.\n\n“I…” Peter swallows. “Look, sir, I made a mistake, but please –“\n\n“Oh, you haven’t,” I said, chuckling. “Oh, dear Aegis, you really haven’t. Not yet. Not until I say so. I can still fix this.”\n\nAgain, they still do not see.\n\nThey never do.\n\n“I – Tyr, sir, I don’t understand…”\n\nI sigh. It was frustrating. After so long, he still failed to grasp the point.\n\nI give up trying to lecture him. I rush forward, easily avoiding the clumsy attempt at a guard. Each move is predicted, countered, and before I know it, he is pinned beneath me. His eyes are frantic, and his words come out as a jumbled mess.\n\n“No, no, no, *please*, I –“\n\nBones crack. He screams. Anna joins him.\n\nI count the seconds.\n\nThe emergency alarm goes off. The tracker detects abnormalities in his vitals.\n\nVictor’s voice comes from both our communications devices. “Aegis, what –“\n\n*Crack.*\n\n“*VICTOR! SIR!*” he screams. “*It’s Tyr*! Sir, he’s gone mad! He’ll kill – *MMPHH*!”\n\n*Crack*.\n\nTime passes surprisingly slowly. Victor arrives, flying faster than I had ever seen him before, smashing through the wall to my apartment.\n\n“This – what –“\n\nI snap my fingers.\n\nMy power activates. The world fades away.\n\nTime rewinds to the last reset point.\n\nThere I am again, at the bottom of Sisyphus' hill.\n\nAfter a long day of work putting down evildoers – one of whom would have shattered Aegis’ so-called streak of victories had it not been for my intervention – I hear them beyond the door.\n\n“Now then, what else to try?” I mumble to myself, even as the moans and shrieks of pleasure come from within. “What do I need to do to fix this?”\n\nFor the eight-hundred-and-twenty-second time, I open the door.",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a superhero who keeps his identities private, even your sidekick doesn't know your normal identity. Today you come home to find your wife in bed with your sidekick.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*I don't want to play hero anymore*\n\n\r \nI would have never imagined something like this: I believed to be a good husband, friend, confident, partner or whatever she needed at that moment, every single moment of joy and pleasure of my last months came from spending time with her at home, my work is my façade and not me, my love is real, my, my…\r \nMy mind collapsed for a brief moment, only able to repeat over and over those thoughts, meanwhile the most bizarre and painful scene: my best friend and sidekick was in my bed with (only) his mask on my wife was beneath him, smiling. \r \n‘Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, it’s my fault sir. I would never made this if I knew…’ as he spoke, he comically tried to put his boxer without reveal anything from me, something absurd because I have seen him like that before, but he wasn’t paying enough attention to realize that. ‘…knew that this may happen. Eeeeh, I am deeply sorry.’\r \n‘Stop that Tom, or he will think that the great Bulletwise is something as lame as he is.’ my wife said, still smiling ‘Did you run upstairs due to my screams? No need to worry that’s me having real fun.’\r \n‘No no no, mister Fischer, I will leave this house as fast as possible, you have my word’ he was putting his clothes really fast indeed and trying to look anywhere but me or my wife. ‘She drank too much, do not mind those words… But I need your word that you will not speak about this to anyone, whatever the cost may it be.’\r \nSo that was the hole in this bank account… bribing husband to maintain his honor. Damn, that also hurts.\r \n‘Leave him, mister Fischer here is no man ha ha ha’ I believe that there was no humor behind that laugh but there was a bottle in her hand just like Thomas insinuated. ‘Anyways, I’ll be leaving soon, solve this between you tw…’\r \nThe door slammed before she could reach it, as I was regaining my senses. Everything single thing in that room was deeply disgusting to me, and I only tolerate disgusting things at work.\r \n\r \n‘Thomas, I did tell you to call me Jonah, aren’t we partners?’ Tom’s face went from mildly concerned to really really surprised, I don’t know how my wife was, I wasn’t able to look at her face. ‘My dear Sara, could you please explain this before leaving? I am trying to comprehend and not make an scene.’ \r \n ‘Do you want what? After months of noting but making me stay home, without explanation at all, without telling me what you do when you leave this house, without a single word about your feelings or mine’s? Do you still need help to understand anything?’ she shouted as she tried to open the door ‘I hate you, I hate the moment I felt for your romanticism and your beautiful eyes, I hate the moment I accepted to move here. There is no further explanation. Why is this \\*\\*\\*\\* door still close?!’ \r \n‘He closed it Sara, he is MindKind’ whispered Tom, who was petrified in the middle of the bedroom. ‘Jonah, didn’t you tell her anything about your job? After all this time?’\r \n‘Nobody asked you, now shut up’ I close his mouth by attaching his teeth and lips, it wasn’t anything new to me except that I was doing it to someone who haven’t committed a crime. ‘Sara, I love you, I’m so sorry that you discovered everything this way but it was the only way to not put you in danger’ \r \n‘Really? Do you think I can’t notice my husband when he wears a mask and a hood?’ she left the door and came to face me ‘You are the only telekinetic in this world, and do you expect me to not see the levitating thing while you sleep? Every single time I said that your eyes were exactly like MindKind’s or that the wound on your shoulder was in the same spot as he had been hurt, you denied it or dismiss it or make up an excuse to leave the room. I did love you Jonah, however I can’t stand that, not anymore. Now open the door.’\r \n‘So, is it all my fault? It can’t be my fault; I only want you to stay safe. This is my way of saving you and saving myself, I can’t express my emotions at work when I’m using my power, I only feel something with you around.’ My eyes were flooded with tears while I said that, the door started cracking and Tom shaking so I had to let him speak.\r \n‘Let me go, for God’s sake, I haven’t seen you mad and I like it that way.’ He ran to the door and blasted the lock as he usually does to open locked doors, but this one cannot be moved. After he realized that, he pointed his gun at me. ‘Open and save your marriage or whatever you’re doing here’\r \n‘Thomas, remember why we make a team in the first place?’ For a moment, the tears stopped and my mind went normal. ‘You needed someone to cover you, not a single bullet will exit that gun of yours… Neither will you. You brought suffering to this house, it is fair that you get some too.’ \r \nNormally it was difficult to me move things that are not in my view field but twist his stomach felt was right. To me, he collapsed and coughed blood. In that moment, Sara screamed and the bottle slipped from her hand, for a second I thought “That’s a shame, the carpet is ruined with all that blood and wine”.\r \n‘That’s me Sara, that’s me letting go my emotions at work, you made this to hurt me right? You’ve accomplished it, now give a reason to not give it back to you.’ Maybe, just maybe, I should have listened before I butchered Tom, she wasn’t able to speak nor think clearly, or that is what I thought when she took the gun and shot me. \r \nI wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t able to stop the bullet mid-air, when I reacted only an inch separated my eye from the bullet. My only reason to live and believe in humanity just betrayed and tried to kill me, I guess it was too much: the door exploded, the wall collapsed, the roof fell on us…But I survived, my subconscious kept a barrier against all external damage, however the internal was greater.\n\n\r \nAfter what I did, none would ever see me as “Kind”, now MindFlayer seems more appropriate.",
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] |
2022-03-23T12:54:40 | 2022-03-23T09:44:16 | 362 | 232 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a superhero who keeps his identities private, even your sidekick doesn't know your normal identity. Today you come home to find your wife in bed with your sidekick.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And there was Stormstrike. My sidekick. We had saved each others' lives dozens of times. We were brothers. Closer than brothers.\n\nAnd now, he was in bed with my wife.\n\nI stalked forward, fists clenched. He heard me, of course, he has senses and reflexes far beyond a normal human. In a second, he'd rolled to his feet, awake and alert, crouched on the bed and ready to strike. When he realized it was me, he relaxed, and just stared. Looked me right in my face, like everything was normal, the bastard.\n\nAnd then, Sara woke up.\n\n\"Baby, wait please, just let me explain...\" Sara said, panicking, as she saw me looming over them in pale dawn light \"I'm sorry, I know it's wrong, I...I..should have talked to you, but...it just sort of happened, and I just...\"\n\nShe embraced him, protectively. \"...I love him.\" \n\nI was silent. Storm was silent. I realized, to my chagrin, I had joined a long line of my own defeated foes, in making a foolish mistake: I had underestimated my sidekick. I should have known better. I'd seen what he could do, and I knew the intellect hiding behind the chipper, carefree persona.\n\nI should'nt have been surprised, that he'd figured out a way to escape his kennel in our Sanctum, and then followed my scent, all the way back to my civilian house. \n\nSara and Stormstrike regarded me with matching sets of pleading puppy-dog eyes, Storm's tail wagging, hopefully.\n\n\"...so, can we keep him, babe? Please?\" Sara pleaded.\n\nOkay, old friend. You win this round.\n\n\"Alright, hon, sure.\" I sighed.\n\nSara squealed with delight and hugged Storm close, and he woofed happily.",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a superhero who keeps his identities private, even your sidekick doesn't know your normal identity. Today you come home to find your wife in bed with your sidekick.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Everyone has their day, you know? The day that makes or breaks them. Where it's all put in focus and you got to decide what really matters.\n\nToday was my day, I suppose.\n\nIt was going completely normal: I got up, cooked breakfast for the kids, got them on their way to school, did breakfast for myself and... her. She... she helped me get my suit together and even packed a lunch while I shaved. Told her I'd give a call around lunch. And I did! But... Scorcher decided to steal from Kay's in Midtown and fires were spreading... and... maybe that was the first mistake? Maybe I made that mistake a long time ago. She had something she wanted to tell me and I hung up on her. \n\nHow many times had I done that previously?\n\nBut then I finished work and was headed home and Dr. Kinetic was holding up City Hall. I tried to clean up fast but... Sparrow, my sidekick, she wasn't there. That was unusual, but I figured she was held up in classes. I was late for dinner. And then I remembered it *wasn't* a normal day. Today was our anniversary. There were... there were candles on the table. She'd left my dinner on the table.\n\nAnd then there were the noises.\n\nI suppose I deserve it: my wife and sidekick both betraying me at the same time. Sparrow -- Clara -- shouted that it wasn't what it looked like, but my wife just started laughing. Said I deserved it, that I couldn't even remember her on our anniversary. How was she supposed to know I'd actually come home this time instead of staying with my own lover?\n\nI've never been with anyone but her.\n\nI suppose I got lucky that I wasn't in my super outfit and it was safe in hideout. Is it really lucky when your own habits protect you?\n\nI suppose they'll be happy with each other, wherever they go from here.\n\nAs for me? I guess I know what my priorities are now.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-05-08T09:53:03 | 2022-05-08T09:49:20 | 197 | 64 | [
{
"content": "[WP] When they turn 14, every human gets an obscure super power with a lengthy description of it so they know what it is. But when yours arrives, it only says four words. “Don’t…",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "At the age of 14, all children are lined up and sent into the \"Eternity Chamber\" built by one of the founders and pioneers of the Power Attainment Information of the Nation (or P.A.I.N) for short. They have built this chamber to assess and safely test all powers plausible and insert the perfect job for said powers to prevent society from collapsing. \n\n\nThis, was the worst day, for everyone else, as I walked into the chamber and began awaiting what manual of powers was going to be thrown at me. \n\n\n*Don't. Be. A. Hero.* \n\n\n*You have been granted the power of pushing back against the order. You are to restore balance and shatter the peace and idea of order. To put things back into balance, chaos must exist for order to have meaning.* \n\n\nI froze in place, was this a joke? I was waiting for the chamber, someone, anyone, I needed reassurance, but received none. \n\n\n*Your powers have already begun to take form, be ready, and use your brain. You're going to become incredible and very important within this role. Do not fail, and Do NOT be a hero.* \n\n\nAs those last words rang out, alarms began buzzing, and guards swarmed the room. I was held at gunpoint and heard the triggers squeeze. Everything slowed down, the bullets, the sounds, everything. I was nearly paralyzed and dropped to my knees in fear. The world got faster, and those bullets all missed me and hit the other guards in the crossfire. I ended six different lives by proxy. My body started screaming at me to run, to escape, and so I did. By some sheer luck, things went my way, doors being jammed open, other guards being unusually inept, I had made it out with my life. \n\n\nI couldn't go home, I couldn't go to my family, my mom, my dad, my friends. They had some of their \"professional heroes\" staked out. I was ostracized and outed from this society, and when that hit, I began to cry; Like a newborn for their mother, I was alone. Those horrible words *Don't be a hero* echoed once again, and I felt my body become oddly calm. I walked to the nearest convenience store, took some snacks, and walked out without paying. I was destined to one day, bring a level of chaos to the amount of order created...I gotta start somewhere I guess.",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] When they turn 14, every human gets an obscure super power with a lengthy description of it so they know what it is. But when yours arrives, it only says four words. “Don’t…",
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},
{
"content": "Don’t look behind you. \n\nPeople have an amazing capacity for self-delusion. I suppose it’s a requirement to function in the world that we made. I don’t just mean the big abstract self-delusion to live your life without noticing all the suffering and exploitation required half a world away so that you can have your morning coffee, whether you make it home or walk to the cafe at the corner. I’m talking about the little stuff. \n\nDon’t look behind you. \n\nAnyway, I was talking to my friend the other day, he’s trying to decide whether to take this new job he got offered. Thinks he has to pick “a career” or whatever. I’d never heard him talk about “earnings potential” before but there he was talking about saving to send his kids to college. He doesn’t even have kids. Or a girlfriend for that matter. My dad jokes that everyone my age is having their quarter-life crisis. \n\nDon’t look behind you. \n\nBut so here’s the thing about self-delusion: I really think we need it. Like, he’s gonna take that new job obviously. But he’s all worried because his new job doesn’t have many employees our age. He was talking about how everyone knows you meet your future spouse in college or at work and that won’t happen at the new job. Obviously I pointed out he can’t turn down an extra $15k just because there’s a cute girl who just started working at his current job. \n\nDon’t look behind you. \n\nBasically, you just can’t think like that. You gotta make the best decision you can. Like I said to him, imagine if I hadn’t transferred after freshman year. He and I wouldn’t have met, I wouldn’t have met his friend from high school, and I wouldn’t be engaged. Who knows, maybe I would’ve asked out that girl in my ENG201 seminar. Maybe I’d be engaged to her, or even married, and we’d have a daughter named Emma who has her father’s eyes. \n\nDon’t look behind you.\n\nYou just can’t think like that. First of all, because you’ll be paralyzed with indecision. Second, because you’ll never be able to enjoy anything because you’ll be wondering about everything that could have been. And most importantly, because there’s no way to know anyway so it’s pointless. And you wouldn’t even want to know really. Just imagine how horrible it would be to know all the things that would’ve happened if you’d made a different choice. \n\nDon’t look behind you.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-05-26T08:17:36 | 2022-05-26T05:33:42 | 382 | 155 | [
{
"content": "[WP] The goblins who dwell just outside your village are small and dumb –in an oddly endearing way. The villagers humor their innocuous raids and sometimes even give them advice. In the village’s darkest hour, the goblins send aid.",
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"content": "I feel like this should be put down to paper so that the story is not lost to time. I will start by saying that, by the time I was born, the goblins were a running joke.\n\nThey settled near the village during my great-grandfather's time so the stories go. Small, stupid, barely clinging to life as they huddled beneath the trees in the nearby forest. At first the people of my village tried to drive them off but the goblins were so weak and pathetic even the coldest heart stirred with pity. So my great-grandfather's generation left them alone.\n\nMy grandfather's generation started to toy with them. The goblins, being starving, would 'raid' the village with sticks and stones. There was a small push by the villagers to drive them out but after four raids and not a single injury that faded. Instead the village made a small fence of sharpened wood posts. Lo and behold the next raid the goblins had sharpened their sticks. My grandfather's generation started to leave out things like hunting traps, snares, etc. and laughed when the goblins were caught in them. Then begrudgingly impressed when the next group to go foraging found crude imitations made by goblin hands.\n\nMy father's generation continued this tradition of indirect aid. They would speak loudly as they did certain tasks.\n\n\"Boy salting this meat sure makes it last longer.\"\n\n\"Wow you can make clothes out of animal skin? Who knew? Sure hope nobody is watching as I do this.\"\n\nThat kind of thing. Nothing outright. At this point the goblins being nearby was an accepted part of life. We considered them strange neighbors so, like we would for any member of the village, we helped them as much as their pride would allow. Occasionally there would be an adventurer coming out to, \"rid us of the goblin menace\" however that usually ended with very confused adventurers questioning everything they knew about goblins.\n\nNow during my generation is where things started to change a bit faster. The local lord decided that the woods where the goblins lived were his hunting grounds. Hunting dogs, horns, the whole ordeal constantly. I grew tired of it quickly since it made foraging for herbs in the wood near impossible. The goblin \"raids\" on our village petered out from once a month when I was a small child to barely once a year as a grown man. By now the goblins were using blunted arrows and dull spears during these raids, despite us knowing full well they had true weapons.\n\nThe village headman spoke to the goblin chief at the end of each raid, making sure they were alright. Helping them plan how to hide when the lord's hunt swept through. Not quite treason but definitely skirting the line of acceptable. A bit of trade for our salted pork for their excess hides occurs. Simple stuff.\n\nNow I am an older man and head of village. A few weeks ago our new lord, idiot that he is, insulted the king's tax collector. A notice was sent out that the king's men would be coming to take the taxes by force. A small army prepared to march through our village, take everything that wasn't nailed down, and call it fair. The lord said if we fled he would have us all hung. Death by starvation or death by the noose: an ogre's choice if ever there was one.\n\nWe decided on starvation after a vote. We hid what we could of course but none of us expected it to work. We saw the hundred men sent by the king marching across the field and made our peace. Then...a horn. Not the lord's hunting horn or any made by human hand but a smaller, higher pitch.\n\nSuddenly the first rank of the king's men were in a ditch I know we never dug. Another horn. Dozens of arrows are loosed from the forest. None hit anyone but now the king's men are forming ranks in confused terror. A final horn is sounded but is quickly echoed by the baying of wolves in trees.\n\nThe king's men flee.\n\nAt sunset an old goblin waddles out to my village with a gap toothed grin and offers his hand.\n\n\"Come,\" he says in the human tongue. \"We hide. We teach you to hide. Forest provides. We teach you how live there.\"\n\nI admit to staring for a moment before a wheezing laugh erupts unbidden. Then I take the goblin's small hand with a smile and a small cheer from the villagers behind me. Turns out the most important lesson the goblins learned from us was how to treat their neighbors.",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] The goblins who dwell just outside your village are small and dumb –in an oddly endearing way. The villagers humor their innocuous raids and sometimes even give them advice. In the village’s darkest hour, the goblins send aid.",
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},
{
"content": "# Soulmage\n\n“It’s debatable whether goblins are even sapient,” Witch Aimes began, and I already knew today’s ‘history’ class would be nothing more than thinly veiled propaganda. “What is known for certain is that they are a subspecies of humanity, twisted over millennia by their over-reliance on the witchcraft of mischief—*yes*, Cienne?” Witch Aimes radiated irritation as I raised my hand—and when a witch radiated irritation, everyone in the room could feel it. A careful, grating hum filled the class, aimed at me like a warning. *I am a powerful person. Do not cross me if you value your continued existence.*\n\n“Goblins are sapient,” I said. \n\nShe arched an eyebrow. “And what evidence do you have for that?”\n\n“What evi—I *lived* shoulder-to-shoulder with goblins for sixteen years in the Redlands! What evidence do you have that goblins are a ‘twisted subspecies’ of humanity!”\n\n“I’m so glad you asked, *Student* Cienne.” Yikes. Normally I had to piss her off a lot more for her to get all formal. Or, wait, was this about the ‘Vile Magics’ discussion this morning? That might explain her mood. The witch reached into a space only she could see, arrogance swirling around her like a cloak, and pulled out a hunched, green corpse.\n\nBile rose in my throat.\n\n“We know because of autopsies,” Witch Aimes said, her glare unflinching as she stood over the corpse of a person, and for a stuttering heartbeat she was not Witch Aimes but a far older witch, the echo of the despair that had ruined my home village—\n\n\\### \n\n*Ice blotted out the summer sun, the magics of misery freezing the very moisture out of the air. My mother stood between the fragile wooden door and my quavering, curled-up form. Another building collapsed under the weight of the ice-witch’s onslaught, and I could hear his glee as our village’s despair fed his growing power.*\n\n*“I don’t want to be here,” I whispered. “Mommy, I want to go home.”*\n\n*My mother looked around the tiny wooden hut that I’d grown up in, the battered, creaking rooftop, the bitter, chilling cold, and didn’t have to say aloud that this was not our home anymore.*\n\n*“It’s going to be okay, Cienne,” Mom whispered. “The witches—they can only see despair. If you—if you just stay calm and don’t panic, they won’t know where to find you.”*\n\n*I tried, I really, really tried, I squeezed my eyelids as tightly shut as I could and pretended I was under the summer sun, but I heard someone shatter like spun sugar and I couldn’t do it I couldn’t do it I couldn’t do it it was all my fault and we were all going to die and the door smashed inwards like so much cheap glass—*\n\n*“It’s okay,” my mother whispered as she stood. “It’s okay, Cienne. I forgive you.”*\n\n*And when I opened my eyes she was gone, and the witch of frost stood in her place.*\n\n*It was my fault. It was my fault. I hated myself so much, I felt so small, I wanted to shrink into nothing and hide where nobody would ever find me, and I waited for the snap of cold to end my life—*\n\n*But it never came.*\n\n*The witch of frost, by some miracle, didn’t see me in my hiding spot.*\n\n*Later, I would understand why. Later, when the goblin tribe searched the village for survivors and kept me fed and warm until the Academy swooped me up, I would sort the events into a linear story. This is where my mother died. This is where the trauma unlocked something within me. This is where I wanted so badly to fall asleep and never wake up.*\n\n*The goblins didn’t fight the witch. They would have been slaughtered like cattle. That wasn’t my darkest hour, in any case.*\n\n*My darkest hour was what came next.*\n\n\\### \n\nI stood, clenching my fist and feeling the delicately patterned ornament I held. A message from an old man who may have been a friend, who knew what it was like to grow up under the rifts. \n\n“You have your corpses,” I hissed. “I have my life.”\n\nThe words of the old man dug into my palm.\n\n*They cannot take this from you.*\n\nI shoved my chair back and stormed out of class.\n\nA.N.\n\nSoulmage will be episodically updated. Check out [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bubblewriters/comments/uxmwe4/soulmage_masterpost/) to be notified whenever a new part comes out, and check out r/bubblewriters for more stories by me.",
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] |
2022-06-03T05:44:34 | 2022-06-03T05:30:49 | 576 | 102 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You woke up in an entirely fake world. It’s an endless doll-house plastic facsimile powered by miles of clockwork gears and levers that go straight down into darkness. You did not get here yourself, and you have no idea how to leave.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Alex finds his mother in the kitchen, complete with a large copper key sticking out the nape of her back. The key protrudes through a hole in her olive-green sweater; it looks like a rust-red butterfly and it's about the size of Alex's arms outstretched.\n\nWhy the hell is there a key in his mother's back?\n\nHis Mom's bent over the sink, unmoving, her hands in the water clutching a pot. She looks like a waxwork replica of his mother, or -- he thinks with a chill -- a well preserved corpse.\n\nAlex tries to swallow his fear but it won't go down.\n\n\"Mom?\"\n\nNo reply. How long's she been like this?\n\nHe dips his hand into the water and finds it's ice-cold. He raises his mother's hands out of the liquid and places them on the draining board. They're red and raw.\n\nOut the window, a bird is paused in the sky, framed against a silver cloud the shape of a question mark. Alex squints at the bird. It seems to have a key in its back too, although it's difficult to be certain from this distance.\n\n*This isn't the real world*. He knows it. It can't be. He's woken up in some terrible nightmare where everything is a run-down automaton. And yet he knows it is real, in its own way. This is where he exists now. Where they all do.\n\nHe thinks of going to find his dad. Dad would know what to do and might be able to get them out of this. Except, for some reason, he can't think where his father might be. When he tries to remember a black fog that tastes of acid rises in his mind.\n\nHe places both his hands on the copper key and begins to wind his mother back to life. As the key cranks his mother begins to move. Her hands splash back into the water. She scrubs at the pot, although it already looked clean to Alex.\n\nHe stops turning the key, has barely wound it yet. \"Mom... Are you okay?\"\n\nShe turns to look at him. Shakes her head. Then returns to the washing.\n\nHer hands are blood-read from the scrubbing. As if she's been doing it hours, days even.\n\n\"Something bad's happened, Mom,\" Alex says. \"I'm sure of it. This world isn't right.\"\n\n\"I know, sweetie. But if you let us both wind down, then it'll be much easier for us to cope with.\"\n\nIt's with a burst of gut-wrenching fear that he places a searching hand behind his own back. That he finds the key.\n\nThe morning comes back to him in a burst of black and white, how weak he felt as he wound himself up for another mechanical-day, another repetitious slice of despair. Every day has been getting harder, slower, to wind himself up. He's not sure how much longer he can keep doing it for.\n\nHis father died three weeks ago. Unexpectedly. A heart condition that should have been found years ago, but wasn't.\n\nHis death transformed both Alex and his mother into this. It changed the world around them, even -- everything became cold and mechanical, always running down and out of steam.\n\nHe's been fighting it as hard as he could. He wants it to change, to get better, and deep down he knows the only way for that to happen is if they continue with their lives. Is if they keep winding themselves up and slowly, slowly trudge forward.\n\nBut maybe his mother's right. Maybe they should let themselves wind-down permanently. That way, the pain would have nothing to latch onto. They could embrace -- as his mother is trying to -- a state of unemotion. Of not-existing. Of being in the world, but not being part of it.\n\nHis mother's cleaning motions slow down. He's not wound her enough to keep her going. He hears her sigh with relief at the oblivion she's sinking, slipping back into.\n\n\"No, Mom,\" Alex says, grabbing the key and winding again. \"No. You can't.\"\n\n\"Let me sleep,\" she says. Her voice pleading, begging.\n\n\"We have to face it,\" Alex says. \"We both do -- together. I wind you, you wind me. We both keep going, okay?\"\n\n\"Why?\" she says, her voice slow, her energy depleting.\n\nAlex feels selfish saying it, but the words swell up and spill out like a black ocean wave. \"Because I *need* you. I've lost him and now I really fucking need you.\" Alex is crying but keeps turning the key until he's too tired to wind any longer.\n\nFor a while, there's nothing. No washing. No talking. A silence sits deeply between them.\n\nAlex has run out of energy, he realises. He's spent it all on his emotions and the winding and talking, and now he stands staring at his mother, his eyes still damp, his body unresponsive.\n\nThis is it, he thinks. This is it for the rest of both their existences. Stuck here, in this desperate moment.\n\nAnd then, unexpectedly, his mother beings to move. His mom is trembling as she turns away from the sink, as if Alex's wound her too much, made her jittery in her motions.\n\nHis mother hugs him. Pulls him into her chest.\n\n\"I'm sorry,\" she says. She kisses his head and Alex cries. \"I'm sorry.\"\n\nIt'll get better, he wants to say but his voice is empty.\n\nAlex feels his Mom's hands reach around him. He feels the winding of his own key resonate through his entire being.\n\nWe can do this, he thinks. If we keep winding up each other, keep each other going, we can get through this.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] You woke up in an entirely fake world. It’s an endless doll-house plastic facsimile powered by miles of clockwork gears and levers that go straight down into darkness. You did not get here yourself, and you have no idea how to leave.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "It's all plastic.\n\nArtificial.\n\nThis is the world in which I live, though who's to say the world I lived in previously was any better? There's bubblegum pink walls, a baby blue floor, the furniture is lime green... Bright, bright colors with a sheen as though brand new, as though reflecting light but there is no light. There never is. Outside the windows is black, and beyond featureless picture frames are endless columns of machinery. Greased bronze and gold cogs and wheels and tickers, clocks without numbers and hourglasses without sand.\n\nEvery floor is different, but the same. \n\nVacant. \n\nSterile.\n\nNot a soul, plastic or not, to be found. Nor food or water or anything seemingly *real*, yet I don't get hungry, parched, or famished. Am I fake, too? Can't be, my arms are doughy like flesh, my face and hands and legs have bone and muscle and fat... Are my insides like what surrounds me? If I were to dig my fingers into my belly and tear it apart like a gift, would my innards have the same glossy sheen, the same smooth surface? Does even blood run through my veins or air fill my lungs?\n\nIt must since I'm alive.\n\nIt's taken me what feels like weeks to pry open the attic door, using the tiny blunt silverware placed perfectly on the kitchen table. The door bent and molded but eventually something snapped like bone and I'm able to push it open.\n\nI stand upon a landing beneath towering machinery, so tall I can't make out the top. The columns rotate as chains flow over cranking gears, the floor stretching before me is flat and copper. Bits of it twirl like a twist of the wrist, revealing more inner workings underneath. But there is no sound, silent as the very house.\n\n\"Hello!\" I call, my voice echoing until it's nothing. \"Is anyone here?\"\n\nDespite no answer, I start ahead carefully, keeping my eyes to the ground. I don't know what would happen if I fell through. This massive place cannot be connected to the small house. It's an entirely different world, one of metal and cold steel, grease and oil. Not a piece of plastic to be seen. The giant edifices whirl and I keep my distance from them.\n\n\"Hello,\" I shout again. \"Anyone here?\"\n\nGloom smothers the distance, just wide alleys between the workings. Just like the house, I don't know how much time passes as I walk. Maybe days or weeks or months. Is time even relevant here? Does it *even* exist at all? A word and nothing but? \n\nThe darkness subsides and a brown door's revealed in a wall. I touch it and find it's real wood, actual lumber. I smell it and I catch hints of mahogany. I stop myself from licking it, to taste anything real, and instead turn the knob. It opens and a flight of winding stairs greets me.\n\nAt the top is another door, this one lighter brown. Oak, maybe. Birch. Things I've long forgotten... Opening this one, it reveals a small room with yellowed pages, covered in diagrams and blueprints, plastering the walls, the ceiling, some of the floor. An easel is in the back, a stool before it and on it...\n\n\"A man,\" I gasp, my heart berating my chest.\n\nHe drops his pencil, straightens, and turns to me. Wispy gray hair outlining a bald scrap, a long crooked nose and thick lips. Glasses perch before his eyes. I keep myself from sprinting and grabbing hold of this flesh and blood and muscle and sinewy and someone that isn't damn well fake and oh God I want to breath his musty scent in like the door because he's real, he's real, he's *real*.\n\n\"You got that pesky door open, have you?\" he says. \"Thought I fortified it enough the last time, but guess not.\"\n\n\"Wha—who am—are?\" My words trip over one another.\n\nThe man stands, thin and tall, and the faded blue robe he wears drags on the floor as he walks towards me. \"I know, I know. Many questions, many answers you want.\" He stops a foot away, peering down over his nose. \"Like yourself, none of that matters.\"\n\n\"Why?\" blurts out.\n\n\"Same ol' question, over and over,\" he says, \"I'm surprised you haven't thought of something different after this many attempts.\"\n\n\"Different—attempts?\" My mouth hangs open and I can't help the tears that fall. \"What does any of this mean?\"\n\nHe bends forward to eye-level and places a hand over each shoulder, long fingers prodding bone. \"That's for me to know.\" His cold palms hold my neck, \"but not to worry, son.\" He smiles. \"You'll forget this soon and, maybe, one day, you won't be an only child.\"\n\nThoughts crash and boom and clatter and whorl and a maelstrom brews in my skull and I can't and don't and won't understand what all of this means, the house, the gears, this old man, me, me, me—what am I? What's my purpose? What am I here?\n\nHis finger rests at the base of my neck. There's a twinkle in his big eyes. \"Sweet dreams,\" he says and\n\nIt's all plastic.\n\nArtificial.\n\nThis is the world in which I live, though who's to say the world I lived in previously was any better? There's...\n\n---\n\nIf you enjoyed the story and want to read more of my work, visit my [subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/MicahCastle/) and consider subscribing.",
"role": "assistant"
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2022-07-17T18:36:24 | 2022-07-17T17:30:24 | 904 | 616 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "I've seen a lot of criminals head to their deaths before my. My first celly was a serial killer, felt a bit brooding, but maybe that was because when I first got in, it was less than a week to his execution. Second celly was much more upbeat. Also a murderer, and a child cannibal to boot, but if you could stand his sense of humor (which could be hard at times - I can't tell you the number of times he made the same play-ground-beef joke), he was a fun guy. Great at cards, knew some fun magic tricks, and taught me origami.\n\nI feel like there's a difference though. It's easy enough to get put on death row for a crime you committed, but I got stuck here for one I only attempted. Treason's a big deal, I get it, but hey, the president's alive, right? I never even got to take aim.\n\nI plan to fix that when I get out. I've got time to learn from my mistakes. See, they goofed up. They made treason too big of a deal - it's a mandatory death sentence. So long as they don't serve me my last meal, I can take as many shots as I like (pun very much intended).\n\n\"So, what would you like your last meal to be?\" the man sitting across from me asks. He's got a smile on his face, I think it amuses him to hear what seemingly impossible things people request. He's the sort who likes to win, and I'm sure he's good at it. But they're all missing the point. You don't select something they can't serve, but something they won't. Because if they do, you win anyway.\n\n\"I'll take the president as my last meal, sous vide, please.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "\\[English is not my first language, sorry if it's written unperfectly\\]\n\nThe trick was so easy you're surprised no one has thought of it before.\n\nIf the rule is that they can't kill you BEFORE you get your last meal, the solution is not to ask for alien fetus or whatever. It is to ask for something they can only give you AFTER they kill you. It's as easy as that, you think.\n\n\"I want my heart cooked to perfection\", you ask.\n\nThe guard's jaws drop.\n\n\"What\", you ask sarcastically, \"you don't know where to find the ingredients? It's on the left side of the chest, in case you forgot\".\n\n\"Not again. Please, change your request\", the guards beg you.\n\nYou know they're bluffing. No one has ever been freed before, you must be the first one to make such a request. \"I want my heart cooked to perfection\", you repeat.\n\nThe guards leave. An hour later, they come back with a doctor, a pump, a weird bottle, and what looks like a litre of blood. \"Sniff here\", the doctor says, and as soon as you do you fall asleep.\n\nThree hours later, you wake up in your cell, the pump on your chest, your heart in a plate in front of you.\n\n\"Eat quickly\", the doctor intimates you, \"the artificial heart won't last forever\".\n\nAs soon as you finish, one of the guards smile. \"The operation took so long it's already midnight. It's execution day\", he says while switching off the heart machine.\n\nIn your last seconds, you can't stop thinking how sarcastic it is for a man to have his heart inside him, an artificial one attached, a death penalty on his head, and still, dying of heart failure.\n\nYou should have asked for your brain cooked to perfection, since artificial brains do not exist. In other words, you should have used your brain.",
"role": "assistant"
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2022-07-17T17:40:16 | 2022-07-17T17:32:54 | 365 | 47 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "It was so simple. When the idea came to me, sitting there on the cold metal slab that was my bed, I'd nearly dismissed it. Surely one of the previous prisoners would have asked for it before? It was, after all, a perfect 'fuck you!' to the system that was going to end their life. And certainly there had been people in this very room who were morally reprehensible enough to desire such a thing. And yet, as I thought about it, I came to realise it *was* a loophole. There was no way I could think of for them to give me what I wanted, and, if they did, I was a free man anyway.\n\nA few hours later they came for me. The steel door to my cell swung open and I was led, in chains, to a room full of world-class lawyers and world-class chefs. The lawyers were there to find the loopholes in any sneaky orders and the chefs would then prepare the meal. A huge array of ingredients lay on shelves against the back wall, the finest foods money could buy, a row of fridges to the right with all the frozen foods imaginable, and a row of cookers to the left where the meal would be cooked. A large table lay behind them all with all the equipment a chef could ask for. Before me, the lawyers in the black suits sat on a row of chairs, the chefs behind them in their white aprons. One of the lawyers stood and read to me the rule, that I was allowed to go free if they couldn't give me my last meal. The statement was lengthy legalese, but we all knew what it was supposed to mean. After I made my choice, the chefs would either prepare the meal in front of me, or I would be returned to my cell while they gathered more... *specific* ingredients. And I smirked as the lawyer spoke for I knew of an ingredient they couldn't provide. When he asked me what I wanted to eat, I responded;\n\n'I wish to eat my executioner.'\n\nThere was a moment of thick silence and he spoke again. 'Pardon me? Clarify what you mean.'\n\nMy smirk was now a wide grin splitting my face in two. 'My executioner. Whoever will kill me tomorrow. Whatever being is responsible, directly or indirectly, for ending my life. That's what I want to eat. If tomorrow you were going to have me shot, today I'd like to eat the man who pulls the trigger. If I was going to be given the injection, I will eat the doctor. If I was going to be sliced in two by a large machine, I will eat the person who operates it. Their whole body, every ounce, every gram of their flesh. That is my request. Now please hurry, that tasteless slop they've been giving me these last few years has left me with quite the appetite.'\n\nOf course, no-one moved. The lawyers were whispering and shuffling papers, the chefs all looked quite perturbed, the guards each had a look of shock. Because, as they'd all realised, they couldn't give me what I wanted. If they allowed me to to eat the person who would kill me, then that person would not be alive tomorrow to do the deed. If they fed me the person who was *supposed* to kill me, and replaced them afterwards, then my meal request would not have been filled; I would not have eaten *my* executioner but rather *an* executioner. And that wouldn't fit the stipulation they'd set. When the lawyer's conversation began to rise in pitch, I was moved back to my cell. The next day the steel door opened, and I was released.\n\nI left the prison to the flash of a hundred photographers eager to catch a shot of the man who beat the system. My stomach was rumbling; the guards hadn't fed me since yesterday morning. They had been unable to. I strode through the crowd and got into a waiting cab. 'Take me to a restaurant.' I said to the cabby, and he did. It was clearly very expensive, but I had just enough money from before my incarceration to afford a reasonable meal there. As I looked over the menu, a most wonderful smell hit my nose. I looked up and saw a huge block of sizzling Wagyu beef being wheeled on a trolley to a nearby table, surrounded by an array of roasted vegetables. The meat was wonderfully cooked, exuding a most savoury aura which filled my mouth with saliva. A quick glance at the menu showed me it was far beyond my purchasing power. I sighed, saddened. I'd have given my life for a bite of that.\n\n\\- - -\n\nFirst time I've really written any story other people were going to read, plz tell me how I did :p",
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"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "Sumerians invented the cuneiform writing system way, way back in time in the fourth century BCE. The British library has 130,000 of the clay tablets where most are still unread by a modern person. Irvine Finkel, himself, has and will teach anyone to read cuneiform in the hopes someone will bring him another story like the the first flood story again.\n\nArchibald's social graces were well and truly under developed. His trauma started as far back as he could remember in school. He knew what no one talks about that bullies at all levels pick on the lowest of them all. School society can be seen as a diamond shape instead of the Hierarchical pyramid that has more people on the bottom than top. Everyone picked on Archibald, everyone; he had been the bottom point of the his social diamond. His only solace was pointing out how stupid everyone else was, so he doubled, tripled, even quadrupling down on studying.\n\nIrvine Finkel was the first person he came across that seem genuinely enthusiastic about teaching him. Yes, there was the old man's sardonic humor like how he wanted to become a British Museum Curator at the age of nine and through a series of bewildering coincidences became one. There was space deep in the basement that felt like pure solitude to Archibald so long as he was reading, deciphering, decrypting, even the most boring cuneiform tablet. Some of them would barely fit in one's palm while others were cylinders whose writing wrapped around and around. Archi's bane though were the broken bits, the fragments of sentences, one's Finkel couldn't be bothered with.\n\nEach time Archi thought he'd found a particularly interesting story, and would ran to Finkel decrying, \"this is it, This one.\" Each and every one he'd 'found' was only some mundane trivial daily matter better represented on an intact tablet. This frustrating denial focused to being sure, absolutely sure, the next one would be 'the one'. Archibald held a small tablet in his hand, forcing his heart rate slower after seeing symbols for condemned, curse, protection, and peace all near each other. He spent weeks upon weeks flipping between the hard tablet and various research papers and their notes.\n\nArchibald was a volunteer at the museum that supported his obsession by driving a Trash Truck. The job was steady with regular hours outside of the museum's operation. He found that he was well suited for the shit night shift that every normal human hated. To him, there was an empty world to explore, and going places most people never see, the industrial sectors. One of the hidden places the public hardly never gets to see was inside the national prison. He knew the guards, recognizing that people who were the worst types of bullies seem to gravitate in to that type of job. There was a perverse pleasure refusing to submit to their bully tactics and driving away instead and leaving the huge bins full.\n\nReporting such incidents to his bosses, who wrote the report, and then sent it up their chain of command. The prison warden typically called the his boss' boss that morning. Power is where you find it was Archibald's mantra. He was weeks deep into the confusing script of his find and could ignore the guard's taunts. He wasn't suppose to, but had made a charcoal rubbing of the half palm sized tablet. He taped an enlarged photocopy of the rubbing to his cab's windshield. In moments of stress focused his mind on that enlarged piece of paper.\n\nHe was standing outside his cab looking up at the copy in the caged guard area trying to get inside the fence to do his job when it clicked, the ah-ha moment. It, the tablet, was a poem; Archibald had always hated poetry. The Sumerian cadence was mutated into a forced rhyme from a prison guard's point of view. The poem listed dish, after dish, nonsensical dishes too. The listed dishes had puzzled him for days on end, but the end of the poem made it clear to him now. A trick, bamboozle, flimflam , a fraud, was played on the condemned. Archibald could see prison guards back in antiquity were the same shitheads they were today.\n\nThe damn tablet was a guard's confession of tricking the soon to be executed into eating bugs, snakes, and other nasty things in lieu of a nonexistent mythical dish. Thereby saving the guard, himself, and his loved ones from a devastating curse of the innocent. It was all a joke to the guards. Archibald's ears began heating up as his blood pressure increased. \"Fuckers,\" he spat at the side of his truck.",
"role": "assistant"
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2022-07-17T20:01:08 | 2022-07-17T19:59:11 | 129 | 15 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "\"I don't get it, how? How did you do it\" the warden said as he signed the release form.\n\n\"That's the thing, I didn't do anything, you guys did with your stipulations and what not\" I said grinning at the warden.\n\nIf my requested last meal wasn't prepared and ready for me within a year, I'd be a free man is what they had told me. Nothing more nothing less, people had tried for the most outlandish things such as dragon steak, alien egg omelettes etc. But the prison had provided because their stipulations never stated the meal had to fit the intent rather it had to fit the writing.\n\nAn alien egg omelette for instance sounds impossible, I mean we've never found any sign of alien life. But I had noticed when they brought these outlandish things that an alien egg for instance in this case had been the egg of a Kiwi bird because by definition it was alien to our country. Same thing with dragon steak or the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, komodo dragon steak, communion wafers and communion wine. The face on the guy who'd ask for the flesh and blood of Jesus had a bit of a shock at that one.\n\nSo as I awaited my execution, awaited my turn to request I thought long and hard about it. Until I came to a conclusion so sick and twisted even demons would be in awe. So as the request personal came through and told me it was time. I requested the one thing they could not bring me ever due to a birth defect, but I wouldn't tell them that.\n\n\"Prisoner D-666, what do you request as your last meal? If we can not prepare it for you within a year you're free to go. You will continue to be fed regular meals until such a time we can procure it, because starvation would not be in the spirit of this.\"\n\n\"I wish to eat my first born by blood. I shall refuse to eat anything served proclaiming to be as such without written confirmation of paternity from five separate laboratories.\"\n\n\"Very well you sick fuck, if that is your request don't expect to wait too long.\" they said.\n\nDays came and went, after a week they started bringing volunteers from the women's section all in the hope of providing me with my first born by blood. Why they did not do artificial insemination was because I had refused any medical examination as that was not part of the deal.\n\nThe real reason I had refused medical examination was because I've been shooting blanks since I was born. Infertile since birth, but now I was a free man.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "The dark, cold cell is lighting up as the guard opens the small window.\n\n\n-So what would you like to have as your last meal?\n\n\n-I would like to have my mother's chicken soup, made from the chicken I raised myself since it was only an egg. \n\n\n-You guys are awesome. Never cease to amaze me. I will get back to you on that.\n\n\nI can't wait to be set free. Six more months and I will see the sun again. I wonder what the world looks like now. It's been what? 25 years now. I wonder if anyone I know is still alive. \n\n\nThe guard opens the tiny window again. \n\n-Nice one. Your mother died during childbirth. And she never cooked the chicken you raised. \n\n\n-Yes but I would still like that as my last meal.\n\n\n-The judge would like to see you tomorrow morning. \n\n\nThe tiny window closed with a noise. \n\n\n\nWhat will I do once I walk out of this cell? I think I will go and build a cabin in the woods. Are there any woods anymore? I hope there are. I will build my pretty cabin and grow old there. \n\n\nI will have a cold river flowing close to it and a small vegetable garden right next to it. Maybe I will take a stray dog with me. We can be strays together there. \n\n\n\n-The judge is ready to see you. says the guard\n\n\nI get up and put my hands out through the tiny window. Once I am cuffed the door opens and I walk out. \n\nThe light hurts my eyes so much. I can feel my skin coming to life as it is touched by the light. It feels like a sip of cold water in the desert. \n\nI walk through the long corridors barely seeing anything. My eyes are not used to light anymore. The guard's strong hand guides me until we finally arrive at the judge's door. He opens it and pushes me forward. \n\n\n-Who would have thought that the first inmate to get free on this absurd rule will ask for a chicken soup! The judge was smiling. \n\n\n-We had dragon steak and served chicken breast as they are technically dragons! But no, you asked for a particular cicken that drowned in the river and a dead mother! The judge continued.\n\n\nI sit there silent not knowing what to say. \n\n\n-You, sir, are free. Congratulations. \n\n\n-Thank you. \n\n\n-I hope to never see you again, now get out. \n\n\nAs I walk out of the prison, the smell of burning asphalt floods my nose. The loud traffic sounds hurt my ears. I check my surroundings for a tree. The trees are gone. \n\n\nA skinny stray dog walks towards me. \n\n\n-Lets go buddy, maybe there is a forest for us somewhere.",
"role": "assistant"
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2022-07-17T22:09:37 | 2022-07-17T20:36:22 | 34 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*They're actually really nice once it comes time to kill you here.*\n\nThis was my fleeting thought as I combed my hair in the giant floor length mirror I was finally permitted. They bent over backwards for the last day. Even let a professional make up team come to paint my face. The man who collected my requests didn't understand, but he was happy to assist. A white silk gown with a gold belt and tassels were easy to procure. Finding a dress with pockets delayed them a week or two, but in the end, they were pleased to get it to me. The warden even laughed in my face. \n\n\"You thought you had us. You thought the pocket dress would be impossible!\" He had taunted. \"But we have found more obscure things before.\"\n\n\"Have you?\" I adjusted my hat, placing it at a jaunty angle. A public execution gave me an audience. I wanted to look my best. \"I'm sure you're very proud of yourself. It can't be easy getting glass slippers and dragon hide gloves.\"\n\nThe wardens sneer vanished for a moment but before he could say anything, the chef stormed in. \n\n\"You sick, twisted freak. How could you?\" He demanded. The warden swiveled. \"How dare you? You can't have that. Pick something else.\"\n\n\"No. My last meal is my right.\"\n\nThe warden turned on the chef. \"Whatever she wants, she gets. It doesn't matter-just get it.\"\n\n\"Sir- I can't. *We* can't\" the chef looked at the warden with desperate, pleading eyes. \"Please, don't do this.\"\n\nThe warden took the note with my request. \"Apples? I done apples? Surely you could fond them?\" The warden reached into the chefs bag and plucked out the requested food stuff, a bright golden apple. I smiled and took it from him. \"You know, in ancient Greece, you and I would be married for this\"\n\nI winked and took a bite even as the chef lunged to take the apple back. \"No! No. No. No! What have you done?\" He demanded of the warden. \n\n\"I done apple. What's wrong with an I done apple?\" The warden shrugged and smirked at me. \"Enjoy while it lasts.\" \n\nI took another big bite as the chef dropped to his knees. \"Not I done. Idun.. an apple of Idun. We looked into it sir... the apples are from the Norse Goddess of youth. The apples grant immortality\"\n\nI watched in enjoyment as the warden put the pieces together. \"You mean she- She-\"\n\n\"That's right.\" I grinned and polished off the apple. \"Kill me all you want, I'll never die.\"\n\nI strolled out to meet the executioner, even as I felt unending life surge through my body. After all, I had an audience.",
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{
"content": "[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“A peanut butter and jelly sandwich please, the way my sister used to make it. I’m honestly pretty screwed regardless so… might as well have a slice of home, y’know?”\n\nThe guard looked at me and he looked… understanding. I can’t believe I got a genuine reaction from the guy other than “SHUT UP INMATE!” but honestly I’ll take this over that anyday. “Heh, alright then. We’ll get in contact with your sister and have her teach us the recipe, we’ll make it as perfect as possible. You don’t mind waiting a few hours, right?”\n\nI shrug, it’s not like I had long anyways so might as well enjoy whatever amount of time I had left. I took a deep breath as I leaned back against the flat cushions that lay atop my rusty bed; I think I’ve got time for one last nap…\n\nI found myself woken up to the sound of a rusty prison door sliding open, one of the guards behind the now-agape passageway as a bright ray of sunlight made its way past his shoulders and onto my face.\n\n“You’re free to go. Head on over to the entrance hall and we’ll hand you back your stuff.” \n\n“What?”\n\n“You heard me.”\n\n“I- uh- huh?” I couldn’t believe it, hell I was kind of… disappointed. I sauntered over to collect all my old junk (it had been so long that my shirt didn’t even fit me anymore) but… I didn’t want to walk through those doors to the outside world.\n\nIt took me a good few minutes but through some asking around I was able to find the guy who was in charge of taking my order. I found him filling out paper work in a little office, the moment he saw my confused face walk through the door his freckled cheeks turned a beet red, hunching down towards his work even more in an attempt to cover his face.\n\n“Okay why’d… why am I out? Was there any issues getting in contact with ny sister?”\n\n“No… no your sister was willing to comply, begrudgingly I might add but willing.”\n\n“O…kay? Was her secret recipe too hard?”\n\n“Nope. All it was was a small bit of melted white chocolate in between the PB and the J, we even got you a glass of milk.”\n\n“Then why in the world an I out? I… I should actually be dead right now! Firing squad! Hanging! The chair, whatever! How am I standing in front of you at this very moment?”\n\nThe man looked up, he had a pursed smile on his face. He didn’t look mad, sorrowful, or… anything, just embarrassed, like he misplaced an assignment or something. It took hin a second to gather his barings, but once he did, he looked me dead in the eyes with the most serious expression a tomato red fat head could make, and said the six words that let me live another day…\n\n“We ran out of peanut butter.”",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2022-12-19T13:30:41 | 2022-12-19T13:10:11 | 63 | 25 | [
{
"content": "[WP] The world seems to be your average sword and sorcery world. You, a young adventurer have descended down into a forgotten tomb. There, you find strange metals and plastics. Lights come on without torches. A man made of metal awakens, stumbling toward you. \"What year is it?\" he asks",
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"content": "\"Year?\" I ask, stupidly. I am still trying to process the strangeness of the metal man moving, wondering if he somehow ignited the eerie lights or if he is possessed of some form of magicka. Having assumed that he was some sort of golem acting at another's command, the idea that he would (a) speak and (b) use that speech to enquire about something so esoteric as the year has me completely floored.\n\n\"Yes. What is the year?\" \nThere is something odd about the way he talks, which makes me lean back towards golem, but having recovered enough from my initial shock I hazard a guess. \"Um, I think we're in the third cycle of Kynaramon, in the fifteenth year of Jaruptis' rule.\"\n\nThis seems to satisfy him, as he then asks whether there is \"a source of energy\" nearby. \nEmboldened now that we are on more familiar territory, I slip into the kind of patter that usually earns coin from out of towners: \"Oh yes squire, I'm actually an apprentice at the Mage's guild myself - I'm sure you have heard of the fabled Font of Ithirick?\"\nNo immediate response, so I plough on: \"That, no doubt you know, is where Ithirick first drew Magicka from the Ultimate source and forged it so that it could be wielded by men. Of course, the Greer will have you believe that their Font produces more energy, and the Twoken that theirs is more stable, but we shouldn't credit outlanders like they would we now?\"\n\nHe doesn't rise to the outlander bait, and throughout the whole spiel is as still as stone, so I can't get much of a fix on him, but I must have hit home because he is very interested in the Font - wants to be taken there immediately.\n\nBy this point I am starting to suspect he is somewhere between a bit simple and several knaps short of a knapsack, so I probe him a little to see if I would need to get a protective aura ready, or perhaps throw a message to Josspur to leave \"standing guard\" and either rescue me or ambush him.\n\nAlthough it does give me time to case the joint, this turns out to reveal rather less than it confuses. The metal man claims that the power for the lights in this chamber is not sufficient for his purposes; that he is called \"Aywonaytysix\", and is not a golem (of which I am skeptical, but not ready to press him on); and that he thinks has been sleeping for over ten thousand years (this seems less likely than the not-golem bit, but again, being unsure of his mental wellbeing, I play along).\n\nI cast a message up the stairs and along the passage I came down to warn Josspur of my return with another, but as I turn to show him the way he grabs my arm and quizzes me with a new sense of urgency: \"That power, from where did you draw it it? What device did you use to transmit the message from your head?\"\n\n\"Easy friend,\" I say, pulling feebly at his iron grip, \"The Magicists say that the Fonts have made the power run everywhere, like a blanket upon the earth and sea. But you have to be initiated and gain your Stud before you can harness it.\" I gesture at the small metal nubbin under my temple, and withdraw sharply when he reaches to touch it.\n\nThere follow an uncounted number of disquieting moments where I get the sense that he is deciding whether to simply crush and examine me. Apparently I am not worth the effort, or perhaps he appreciates the need for a guide to all that is so foreign to him. Either way, he releases me, and asks me to show him to the Font.\n\nTaking one last longing look at the metals on which I could retire, I make for the doorway and begin the retreat to Josspur. Maybe the Magicists know something about metal men. Maybe, for example, something about how jealously they guard their treasure chambers, and whether they are vulnerable to Magicka. Time will tell, I guess.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] The world seems to be your average sword and sorcery world. You, a young adventurer have descended down into a forgotten tomb. There, you find strange metals and plastics. Lights come on without torches. A man made of metal awakens, stumbling toward you. \"What year is it?\" he asks",
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{
"content": "Somewhere between the moss-covered slate that hid the entrance to this place and the slightly sulphury scent coming from within, Maxim decided that he had found his treasure. No map with an x had led him here, nor was there a winding story of it from times long past. It spoke to him. Torchbugs at night appeared to call this little cavern home, and after a long weeks trek, Maxim did as well. \n\nHe didn’t sleep well here. Noises from the deep kept whispering of a formless fear that lay beyond the dark. Maxim wandered, but only when he had forgotten the path did he start marking his way with scratches and tallies etched with magic. It was really the only thing he seemed to be good at. Recording where he had been.\n\nWithout the sun, he forgot for a while what time it was. Descending deeper and deeper into the cave came without predators or prey, but the loneliness became deadly. There were no skeletons, and with only his magic around him, he wondered if he would end up just decoration for those that came next.\n\nIt wasn’t until he came to a metal ornate door that he gained a sense of dread. Even in the damp, stale air, the hopeful sense of wonder kept him going. Now, though? This wasn’t like the mage's towers or the king's doors. This was just a solid. \n\nUntil it wasn’t.\n\nA screeching noise cut Maxim to the core as the ancient door slid open. Nails on the chalkboards at school could never compare to the eldritch noise that echoed off the cavern walls and hollow places in the deep.\n\nYet still, Maxim moved on. Lights came to life around him with more magic than he could ever possess, and with it, greed welled up from within him. He was close. He had to be close to what he was searching for. \n\nNothing could be seen in the metal room. Maxim looked over the small figures on the tables and the walls, but nothing seemed to detach. Gems and jewels that he once hoped for turned out just to be magic baubles. Flicking a couple, he heard something whirl but nothing seemed to catch.\n\n“What year is it?” a voice came from the corner, making Maxim flinch and pull out his wand.\n\n“Who?” Maxim asked.\n\n“What year?”\n\n“Year of the Path, the Twenty-Third,” Maxim explained hesitantly, “As per the Mages of Marifacrice reckon.”\n\n“Are they here?”\n\n“What?” Maxim asked, now confused as he tried to look around the empty shell of a room, “Who, I’m here?”\n\n“The ones we released?” \n\n“Uh?”\n\n“Did we trap them?” a metal man yelled as he tried his best to lift himself to a sitting position. \n\n“What are you?” Maxim asked in shock.\n\n“Broken,” it scoffed and looked around, “So much is broken because of us. Because of what we released.”\n\n“Who did you release?” Maxim asked quietly, wondering if they were still around.\n\n“The spirits that came before,” the metal creature said as he pointed to the painting in the back. Maxim saw the gods, the lords of light and dark, etched in their glory but not in the way the land saw them now. “The spirits that were foretold to come again.”\n\n“They keep the land, sea, and sky,” Maxim chanted softly looking over the painting.\n\n“They destroy all that live in them,” the voice explained, “With the light came fire, with darkness came frost, and with them came death.”\n\n“No,” Maxim muttered, “With them came redemption.”\n\n“With you,” the voice said quietly, “will go how we got redeemed. Please, take my words to those that would listen. Please, take a message to those who will still understand.”\n\nWith that, the metal creature only gave Maxim one final word and a prize Maxim did not want. From his chest, the metal man took out a cube and tried to reach out toward Maxim but was only able to rest his arm on his leg before powering down one final time.\n\nThe lights did not fade with the machine, though, and Maxim, even with his belief, wanted something to come out of this more than just a story he could tell. The marks on the walls led him out, and in his pack, Maxim hoped he could sell this mystery to the highest-paying mage.",
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] |
2022-12-30T00:05:38 | 2022-12-29T20:26:29 | 36 | 24 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were asked out by your crush to come and hang out with her after school. On your date, she drained your blood and buried you in the woods thinking that you were another easy victim. And now, the next morning, she looks horrified when you walk into class.",
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},
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"content": "It wasn't the first time I'd found myself buried in a shallow grave. Hopefully, it wouldn't be the last. After digging myself out and dusting myself off, I headed home. The girl must've been new to this, or just stupid, because she hadn't even bothered to empty my pockets. \n\nI debated on how to deal with her the next day. Should I pretend like nothing happened, and drive her mad? Or should I tell the truth, and simply deal with her the normal way? I decided to get a good night's sleep before deciding, such important decisions should never be made tired. Besides, I was in no rush. My blood would be enough to keep her fed for a month at least.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThe look on her face when I walked back into class, none the worse for wear, was priceless. I had decided not to give her any attention, or any indication that anything was out of the ordinary, for the time being. I noticed her glancing at me many times over the course of the class. When it ended, she was the one who approached me.\n\n\"Hey there. I didn't expect to see you here today.\"\n\n\"Oh? Why not?\"\n\n\"You know damn well why.\"\n\n\"hmm, could you perhaps refresh my memory?\"\n\nI could tell she was holding back the urge to smash my head into the floor. After glaring at me for a moment, she said \"Fine, meet me outside.\" She then stormed off.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n She was waiting for me outside, sticking to the shade. I waited until there was no one else around before approaching her.\n\n\"So, how the hell is a flimsy human like you still alive?\"\n\n\"You still think I'm human? You're even more inexperienced, or stupid, than I thought.\"\n\n\"If you don't stop sassing me, I'll-\"\n\n\"You'll what? You can't kill me. And as much as you might like to think you're invincible, you aren't.\"\n\nThat statement seemed to make her pause, and reassess her situation.\n\n\"What even are you?\"\n\n\"A ghost in a machine. This body of mine is little more than a well built puppet.\"\n\n\"Then why are you here? why are you posing as a student?\"\n\n\"To catch people like you. While you've been at this school, no less than 7 students have gone missing, roughly at one and a half month intervals.\"\n\n\"You have no proof I was behind those!\"\n\n\"No, but I have proof that you did attempt to fully drain a student and bury them. The fact that you were unsuccessful does not make what you did less of a crime.\"\n\n\"Oh yeah? and who's gonna prosecutor me? Who's gonna believe that vampires and ghosts exist?\"\n\n\"Oh, you'll meet them soon enough.\"\n\nBefore she had time to react to what I'd said, I threw a silver net at her. She tried to dodge, but even with her supernatural speed she reacted a moment too late, and it fell on her. She tried to pull it off, but the silver started to singe her skin as she touched it. Not enough to be deadly, but certainly very painful. I reached into my jacket and out a walkie talkie.\n\n\"I've got her, ready for pickup.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were asked out by your crush to come and hang out with her after school. On your date, she drained your blood and buried you in the woods thinking that you were another easy victim. And now, the next morning, she looks horrified when you walk into class.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "The look on Kate's face when I walked into class was priceless. Apart of me had wanted to confront her in front of everyone, but I knew better after all how could she have killed me when I just walked in. So I just took my seat and focused on today's lessons, this continued for the rest of the day until lunch where my friends were dying for information on the date.\n\n\"Dude, you've been quiet all day, did your date crash and burn?\" George asked in his typical teasing manner.\n\n\"Nah, went great actually, we hit it off pretty well, it just ended on an awkward note.\" I replied, they were my friends, but I still couldn't tell them.\n\n\"Thank God, I was beginning to think you were gay.\" Sarah declared in mock relief.\n\nI slugged her arm lightly as we all began laughing. But for a brief moment my eyes locked with Kate's, she seemed confused and... Scared, (oh this was going to be fun) I thought. The rest of school went without issue and once the bell rang I made my way to my car, (Thank god I didn't take my car to the date she probably would have destroyed it) I thought in relief. As I got closer, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I felt as though I was being stalked. I knew she was behind me and gaining, this left me with two options, first was to get in my car and leave before she caught up to me ruining my story, or try to talk to her. Once I reached my car, I spun around to see her directly behind me.\n\n\"Oh hey, I enjoyed our date last night, though I wish you had warned my that you liked things a bit on the kinkier side.\" I joked, enjoying the flustered look on her face.\n\n\"What are you?\" She asked quietly.\n\nI shrugged my shoulders, \"I'm human of course,\" I opened the passenger door and motioned for her to get in, once she did I climbed into the driver's seat, \"which is more than I can say for you, my beautiful little vampire.\" \n\nShe glared at me for a moment, \"then why aren't you dead, I know you didn't turn, so explain!?\" She demanded.\n\nI slugged again and started the engine, \"You know that story about the Roman soldier who pierced the side of Christ and was cursed with immortality, yeah he's my dad and the curse is hereditary.\" I explained.\n\nI glanced at her and noticed the confused expression plastered on her face and chuckled, \"Tell you what Kate, we go out for another date and I'll explain everything in more detail.\" I offered with a shit eating grin.\n\nHer confusion turned to shock and then amusement as she burst out laughing, \"You know what Henry, I'll take you up on that, and maybe I'll give you a special apology at the end.\" She winked.\n\n\"As long I don't wake up six feet deep in the forest, I'll certainly enjoy it.\" I replied before we both began to laugh, (she may have tried to kill me, but I still love her... though that might say something bad about my taste in women) I thought amusingly as we left the school.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2014-06-18T22:55:33 | 2014-06-18T22:48:01 | 201 | 61 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Suddenly, every person in the world can visibly see a thread that connects them with their significant other. On hearing this, you realize that you don't have a thread connecting to anyone.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "\"You remember the red string myth we used to talk about as kids?\"\n \n\"...No?\"\n \n\"Well, um, it's a Chinese myth. It connects one...\" She daintily lifted her finger, and with the light of the sunset, her hand danced with the waning day-- all in an ethereal waltz. The twilight sang the final count as her hand reached mine. \n \n\"To their true love,\" she finished. \n \nHer hand glossed over mine before settling at my wrist, warmth coursed through my bone-white hand, breathing a red tinge to my fingertips. \n \nI raised my eyes to meet her's, but her eyes were dim, blank, scared. The shine her eyes had for ages were replaced with the hopeless abyss of despair. \n \n\"Something happened... everywhere...\" Her voice trailed off, a slight shudder vibrated though my ears. \n \n\"The string thing is real isn't it,\" I finished her statement. I already begrudgingly knew; news travels fast. \n \n\"O-oh.\" Defeat inhabited her voice, and she so did her appearance. Her fingers clenched together tightly against my wrist, but her strength trembled and her nails dug in only about as much as a baby could. \n \n\"You don't have a string to me do you?\" \n \n\"N-no.\" Her eyelashes fluttered: futile attempts to stop crying. Futile attempts to comfort my tears as well. \"I actually don't have one at all.\" \n \n\"What!? What do you-\" \n \n\"Do you have one?\" She interrupted. \n \nWait what?. The words escaped me. *Did I?* Everything faltered at this point. My vision blurred and my breath stopped short: panic. I shoved my hands in front of my eyes, flipping from their palms to their knuckles. I-- I did. \n \n\"You do, don't you?\" \n \nI shuffled my gaze across the callus of fingertips, and eventually to the red string leading back to the stretching horizon. Was this a joke? \n \nMy ears flushed red the same moment I clenched my fist. The string limped in my grip. This was *fate*. I was holding *fate*. \n \nI ripped fate in two. \n \nI gazed at the limp string. The precious string that would have changed my life. I gathered my breath for a proposal. \n \n\"Hey. Hold out your hand.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Suddenly, every person in the world can visibly see a thread that connects them with their significant other. On hearing this, you realize that you don't have a thread connecting to anyone.",
"role": "user"
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"content": "Kevin's mother looked on anxiously as he examined the frayed thread end in his hands. He had always been a little introverted, but she didn't know anyone else who found themselves without a connected thread that day. Could it be a mistake? Had his soulmate passed on already? Then her selfish emotions got the better of her and she began restructuring his part in her future in her mind. Holidays. Wedding. Grandkids. Everything it seemed she had to look forward to in him had been snatched away one morning by the inevitability of a single strand of thread.\n\nShe needed to say something, to offer some understanding for him to lean on. Grounding herself as best she could, she uttered, \"You know what this means, right?\" \n\nAfter a long pause, Kevin looked up from the thread and calmly replied, \"I think I do.\" Rising, he folded the thread carefully and placed it into his pocket. She had never seen that look on his face before, and as he quietly shuffled out of the house, she steeled herself on his behalf against thoughts of times yet lost. \n\n-----------------------------\n\nKevin’s mother looked on anxiously as he examined the frayed thread end in his hands. He had always been a little introverted, but he didn’t know anyone else who found themselves without a connected thread that day. Could it have broken? Did his significant other detach their end from him? Then his inquisitive nature got the better of him and he began to see the details in front of him. No sharp cut. No tearing. No markings of a separation at all. Everything it seemed he had to look forward to had just come rushing into his head with a closer look at this single strand of thread. \n\nHe could tell she wanted to say something. She had always tried to interpret things for him. With the effort of someone trying to move a wall, she uttered “You know what this means, right?”\n\nAfter a long pause, he looked up from the thread and calmly replied, “I think I do.” Rising he folded the thread carefully and placed it into his pocket. He had never felt like this before, and as he quietly shuffled out of the house, he savored the idea of the journey. It would not be easy, and he would not know it by looking at them, but eventually he would find someone else who had a string in their pocket. And then, when the time was right, they would tie a knot. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2014-07-16T10:43:37 | 2014-07-16T10:37:28 | 318 | 48 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Humanity is the idiot savant of the galaxy. We're terrible at almost everything compared to every other race, but we surpass them in spades in one thing.\n\n**DO NOT CHOOSE WARFARE**\n\nIt's a boring and overdone answer.\n\nThis is inspired by the book Year Zero, where humanity is laughably incompetent in most of our cultural endeavors, but there isn't a species alive no matter how old that is better than us at [X]. It's up to you what [X] is. Maybe we're the best cooks in the galaxy, maybe we're the best dancers, musicians, clowns, that's up to you!\n\n**All I ask is that you do not pick warfare**",
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"content": "\"The 847th Galactic Federation Conference on Higher-than-Light-Speed Travel is about to begin!\" exclaimed the herald. Everyone was excited. Higher-than-Light-Speed-Travel or HTLST or Hot List has existed for over 500 years, being announced at the 159th conference. However, this year it was declared that a new innovation would reduce travel times in half. The largest decrease in time in the history of the conference. \n\nThe presentation at the conference was a huge success. The process outlined had strong evidence that it would work, and indeed had already been implemented on several starships. Now was the time for the Q & A, the one part everyone dreaded. \n\n\"How do we know that time is linear? What if time only exists in the moment? How would this device work in a theory B universe?\" asked one puny human. \n\n\"How do we know that this technology is real? What if the presenter does not exist? How do I know any of you exist?\" asked a slightly taller and clearly much older human. \n\n\"How do you know this technology is not a grue? What if it works great now, and then turns into a hamster? There is not way to definitively know that this technology won't turn into a hamster.\" started a positively round human. \n\nWhile everyone at the conference hated having to answer these sorts of questions, they had historically been quite valuable. You see, only humans are capable of true doubt. Almost all races of the galaxy either trusted the evidence and as such were able to reach space or doubted the evidence provided by the world and never ascended to space. Humans are different. Humans are capable of cognitive dissonance, as such they can do science on the one hand, and honestly doubt their own existence on the other hand and still function. \n\n\"We know time can bend via relativity, and there is no evidence for B theory.\" started the presenter. He knew that he could in theory brush off these sorts of questions and answer more technical questions if only he called on non-humans to ask the questions. Yet, he felt compelled. He had attended that fateful conference of 158. He had personally witnessed the single question that within one years time lead to the development of a functional Hot List. At the time it was the most baffling question that seemed embarrassing to even ask, yet it was the thing that led to the greatest advance in space travel. \n\n\"What happens if you enter 42?\" ",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Humanity is the idiot savant of the galaxy. We're terrible at almost everything compared to every other race, but we surpass them in spades in one thing.\n\n**DO NOT CHOOSE WARFARE**\n\nIt's a boring and overdone answer.\n\nThis is inspired by the book Year Zero, where humanity is laughably incompetent in most of our cultural endeavors, but there isn't a species alive no matter how old that is better than us at [X]. It's up to you what [X] is. Maybe we're the best cooks in the galaxy, maybe we're the best dancers, musicians, clowns, that's up to you!\n\n**All I ask is that you do not pick warfare**",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "**To**: Grand Overlord Y'wso\n\n**CC**: Research-DL\n\n**Subject**: Re: Destruction of Planetary Body 294-00Z \"Earth\" - Comment Phase\n\nYou tasked me to see if there is any reason to keep 294-00Z functioning. Based on our research, we have come to our conclusion: The humans must be spared.\n\nThere are many other species out there that do almost everything the humans can. The Zlyaks can create mechanical marvels that transport our forces far and wide, much faster than anything the humans can create. The Myrians have integrated electronics into their bodies, allowing themseleves to serve as computers. And the Calys are some of the best cooks this side of the Glannac divide.\n\nThere is something the humans have, however, that we lack. Something that we can learn from. Something that they do better in their short existence than the Ancient Gqoes themselves could never master.\n\nThey have love.\n\nThey form bonds with each other that transcend everything. All of their motivations, hopes, aspirations, all of it is because they love. No other species does that. We live with others, work with others, but if someone leaves we replace them and think nothing of it.\n\nI understand that the humans have hatred, too. Their wars have ended countless lives. But many of their wars were because they loved. When the Vybex colonies attacked the Pwo, we sat back and watched the war fizzle out. They had nothing to fight over once the land was destroyed. But as for the humans, when a small subset of their people were attacked because one man blamed them on all of his countries problems, many others jumped in to save them, disregarding their safety for the livelihood of a stranger. We sat back and watched, because you didn't want to damage your fleet of ships.\n\nIt is in my expert opinion that we keep the humans under surveillance, and try to learn from them. Maybe we could go further if we loved one another.\n\n\nThank you for your time. Glwon y'ttr epsnnium\n\nAvoex D'ntrim \n1st Officer \nResearch \n- - -\n**To**: Avoex D'ntrim\n\n**CC**: Research-DL; Harvest_Team\n\n**Subject**: Re: Destruction of Planetary Body 294-00Z \"Earth\" - Comment Phase\n\nY'wso doesn't care for love. Y'wso cares for metals.\n\nCmdr. Uont:\nDestroy Earth, Bring back metal.\nWe name ship after Humans. Maybe.\n\n\\- Y'wso\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2014-10-24T09:37:17 | 2014-10-24T07:33:35 | 18 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] A man is granted his wish for unlimited knowledge. As he goes about his day he realizes his wish is actually a curse.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "One cold winter night, a well-off man is walking home through the city streets when he spies a beggar shivering in the cold. Feeling pity for the man, he goes up to him and gives him his coat. \"I have another coat at home,\" he says \"And so you need this more than I do.\" \n\nThe old beggar takes the coat, smiles at hims, and before his eyes turns into a Dragon. Still smiling, the Dragon says \"I have sat here in the cold all day, and you are the only person to offer me anything. For your generosity, I shall grant you three wishes.\" \n\nThe man is stunned, but being shrewd his mind works fast. What was the right way to use this incredible gift, he wondered. And then the idea came to him. \"For my first wish, I wish to know the right thing to do in any situation.\" \n\n\"That may be the wisest wish I have ever heard,\" said the Dragon. \"It is granted.\" \n\nThe man's eyes lit up with sudden knowledge. \n\n\"I would like my second and third wishes granted at the same time. I would like to undo my first wish, and I would like to forget this ever happened.\" \n\n\"Done and Done,\" said the dragon, who had turned back into the old beggar. \"I wish you a long and happy life, my friend.\" And then he walked away, leaving a well-off man wondering why he was standing in the cold, and why that old beggar had his coat. \"Oh well,\" Said the man, \"I have another like it at home.\" ",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] A man is granted his wish for unlimited knowledge. As he goes about his day he realizes his wish is actually a curse.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "John ran into his apartment, slamming the door behind him and sinking to his knees. His eyes were closed as tight as he could force them and his breathing was ragged. It was only noon, but it felt like the longest day of his life.\n\nHe remembered every moment of it in vivid clarity, no matter how much he wished to forget.\n\nHe remembered the first man he had walked past with minute discolorations on his hands. He remembered the exact shape of them and the perfect knowledge of how they must have been formed. He could see in his mind's eye the shape his wife's face must look like, down to the smallest detail to leave that precise mark.\n\nHe remembered the haunted eyes of the girl he had seen waiting at the bus stop. That was all he needed with his new gift. He saw her past like a high definition movie playing behind his eyes. The way her father came into her room at night to play his games. The way her mother ignored that anything could possibly be wrong, her eyes even emptier.\n\nHe remembered the worst of it, coming to his fiance for comfort. He saw the beautiful way she smiled at him, so loving and tender, the reason he had fallen for her the first night they had met. And then he saw her lips. He saw every past kiss she had given him. And he saw those same lips opening up and swallowing his best friend as far as they could go.\n\nJohn walked across his apartment to his safe, spinning the dial on it. He saw the cold metal of the gun and watched his own death over and over again, knowing with absolute certainty what he was about to do, seeking the only release he knew. \n\nWhen he pulled the trigger there was no surprise, only inevitability.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2015-04-05T17:42:28 | 2015-04-05T17:41:23 | 222 | 79 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are Placebo Man. Your superpowers are whatever the people nearby you believe you have.\n\nBonus prompt: Your nemesis knows your secret.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You know how these things go. I was exposed to radioactive sugar-pills at a pharmacy and now I’m Placebo Man. \n \nThe power I possess is wholly infinite. It goes beyond anything these other heroes could dream of doing. With the right audience I could break the man of steel. I could wash the spider straight out of New York with water cannons erupting from my palms. Hell, I could bring the Hudson down on his fucking head. I could be a God. I could create life. I could grow enough food in an instant to end world hunger forever. I could save the world if they’d just give me the chance. But no. \n \nAs usual, humanity refuses to get out of its own way. Because, though I possess unlimited power, Placebo Man needs someone to believe in him. So instead of curing disease, solving world hunger, and ensuring a Utopian society for the world by giving it limitless resources and preventing any need for violence or destruction of any kind… here I am: playing fetch with my dog, making a tennis ball vanish from mid-air. ",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are Placebo Man. Your superpowers are whatever the people nearby you believe you have.\n\nBonus prompt: Your nemesis knows your secret.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "James opened his wardrobe to inspect the 40-odd superhero suits he had accumulated. The trick was to draw on pop culture. People's ingrained beliefs. If you want to fly, wear a cape or wings. Better still dress as a known flying hero. If you want super speed wear a red and yellow jumpsuit. James was tired but knew he would feel better after some fresh air, he grabbed his Spiderman outfit. One look in the mirror to check it all looked right and he hopped out of the french windows from his bedroom. \n\n\n\nA little under half an hour later James was spotted. The group of teens looked fairly drunk, a fairly ordinary occurrence in North London at this time of night. One of them had clearly seen him. The kid's expression was somewhere in between confused and terrified. This was James' favourite part, the convincer. At his very core, James was a gambling man. The success of the next few minutes depended very heavily on at least one of them knowing Spiderman's background. James took in a big breath. \"Showtime\" he whispered to himself.\n\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2015-04-20T12:03:22 | 2015-04-20T11:14:11 | 38 | 17 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You always hated your superpower. Recently, however, you discovered that it requires a secondary power that is far greater.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All my life I saw on the news people with strength or the ability to shoot without a gun. Some could heal from any wound, and others were impervious to injury at all. However, what did I get? I could phase through walls. The most useless power. \n\nAll it meant was I didn't have to turn a doorknob in my house. It didn't mean I could sneak anywhere I wanted to; I wasn't invisible and people could still see me. If I got caught somewhere, all I could do was run. Any enchanted gun could still shoot me, and those were increasingly common. \n\n\"What stops you from falling?\"\n\nI raised an eyebrow at my friend. \"Why would I fall?\"\n\n\"Gravity should still bring you down, and then you'd get sucked into the planet's core.\"\n\n\"Well, I guess I can fly.\" It was like a lightbulb going off in my head when I realized what I'd said. I let myself go intangible and simply thought about floating. The ground slowly drifted away from me and I laughed before soaring into the sky. ",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You always hated your superpower. Recently, however, you discovered that it requires a secondary power that is far greater.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "James has always despised his power. While the other kids were setting their houses on fire with their eyes, James was playing with his detached fingers. They always grows back, but he couldn't peel off too many fingers without his mother complaining about the smell and the detached fingers littering the house. When James finally moved out of the house, he was freed of his mother's criticisms. Although his apartment was the size of small apartment, James was now able to play with his fingers as much as he wanted. However, due to his limited financial means, James could only afford eggs. He has no oil or butter to cook his eggs, so for weeks, he was forced to eat the eggs raw. One fateful day, while James was handling his emancipated fingers, he wished for some butter to go along with the raw eggs. As the thought formed in his head, the castle made of his amputated fingers formed into a palace of butter. James' eyes lit up at the discovery. At last, James had the means to cook eggs. More than that, this ability hooked James out of poverty as he built a empire out of buttered fingers. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2015-07-23T18:12:40 | 2015-07-23T17:29:31 | 17 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP]Your friends finally convince you to join their favorite MMORPG, you notice though that the questions on the \"Create a character\" screen are getting really personal.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "**Username**\n\nFireAxe. Taken. FireAxe73. Eh, fine. I should have joined sooner. \n\n**Password**\n\nErm, bigherosix? No? BigHero6. Great, I loved that film.\n\n**Email Address**\n\nFireAxeOfJustice@gmail.com\n\n**Sex**\n\nMale.\n\n**Home address**\n\nChromes auto-fill completed the form for me but I was still annoyed. Why do they even need all this? Just let me play!\n\n**Home address in July 1997**\n\nPrivacy is truly dead. Nottingham I think? \n\nIt’s all for advertising of course. You can’t trust anything that’s free. Never forget, if you’re not the customer, you are the product.\n\n**In the summer of 1997 a woman named Helen disappeared from her home in Nottingham. Where is her body buried?**\n\nSeriously? How can they expect me to remember that? I cast my mind back. Helen… Helen Abbott? Honestly I couldn’t remember, so just I typed the location of the first body I could think of. They won’t care about particulars. It's 'Big Data' you see. Statistics. A couple of errors don’t matter to an advertiser once it all gets averaged out.\n\n**Do you accept the terms and conditions?**\n\nYep. Didn’t even read them.\n\n**Do you want to receive our weekly newsletter?**\n\nThe box was already checked. Manipulative jerks, as if I could fall for that. \n\nUncheck.\n\n**Submit.**\n",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP]Your friends finally convince you to join their favorite MMORPG, you notice though that the questions on the \"Create a character\" screen are getting really personal.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"What the hell, I don't even play games\", I grumbled to myself as the progress bar inched toward 100%. My friends have been raving about this stupid MMO for weeks now; not wanting to be left out, I caved in and decided to get it on Vapor. \n\n>Install complete. Run application? \n\n>\"OK\".\n\n\"Agree to your Terms and Conditions... which I did not read. Yes, I'm 18. Create Account\". I stretched, finally ready to get into this game.\n\n>Create New Character?\n\n>\"Yes\".\n\n>Name Your Character?\n\n\"Huh. Didn't think about this. xxFireAngelxx, yeah that'll be hilarious.\"\n\n>Invalid Name. First and Last Name required.\n\nThat's weird, I thought to myself. I entered the pseudonym I usually gave out at bars.\n\n>Invalid Name. First and Last Name required.\n\n\nI entered my real name, cursing my friends for their recklessness in giving out personal information. \n\n>Enter SSN.\n\n\nMy eyes bulged. Am I opening a bank account? I typed in 999-99-9999, hoping. \n\n>Invalid SSN. \n\n\nI sighed, then entered my real social security number, thinking I'd report this later. \n\n>Loading character...\n\nI nearly spat out the soda I was drinking. The game had generated a character that looked exactly like me. \"What---?\", I muttered in confusion, before the screen prompted me.\n\n>Continue?\n\n>\"Yes\". \n\nI tapped my mouse, waiting. \n\n>Enter credit card information to activate your free trial. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2015-08-12T22:03:26 | 2015-08-12T19:37:48 | 299 | 120 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You have a near-death experience that reveals you have a Guardian Angel protecting you... And you have the hots for her. You continue putting your life in danger in order to spend more time with her.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The crowd starts cheering as I climb the tower. Most people in my profession live for the crowds, feeding off the energy filling the air. Head doctors call us ‘adrenaline junkies’ because of the crazy stuff that goes on in our brains while we perform. Pop culture picked up the term, and it sounds cooler than anything the community has come up with so far, so we just roll with it. The adrenaline rush hits hard and gives a hell of a high, but that’s not why I do this.\n\nI do it for her. I first saw her while riding my motorcycle as a kid. She would pop up around town, always watching me from a distance. I did a lot of stupid stuff at that age, and she saw it all. It wasn’t until I knocked out a major power line by driving an earth-mover into it that I really noticed her. Showing up in my moment of crisis like that, I fell in love on the spot. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.\n\nI let my life cool down after the accident, and decided to let her make an honest man out of me. Unfortunately when I tried to find her nobody knew who the hell I was talking about. No lady helped me out of the equipment, I stumbled out alone, lucky to be alive. After weeks of fruitlessly searching for her, I started riding my motorcycle again to let off steam. I got careless going down a mountain pass one day and ended up losing my bike over the side. I would have gone with if my mystery lady hadn’t snatched me out of the air. She didn’t say a word, she just checked for major injuries, gave me a “don’t do that, dummy” look, and started walking away. I tried to stop her, and ended up walking with her in silence until a driver stopped to let us hitch a ride. I say us, but she disappeared as soon as I started talking to the driver. He didn’t see anybody with me, and didn’t want me to walk the 20 miles back to town alone.\n\nI’m not the smartest guy alive, and most of the world would agree with that statement, but I was able to figure out how to get that lady to spend more time with me. She lights my fire, sets my engine revving, and makes my life worth living. I would do anything to be with her, and so far she hasn’t stopped showing up. She is my guardian angel, my secret weapon, my one true love.\n\nI climb onto my motorcycle and look down the ramp. I feel her at my side, and gaze up into her eyes, giving me that same old look. “I love you,” I say before adjusting my helmet and starting up the bike. The crowd cheers even louder and I pose to keep the cheers rolling. She's not impressed and keeps up the look, calling me a moron with her eyes, making me love her even more. \n\nThe announcer roars into the crowd, “Ladies and Gentlemen! Back again for another death-defying jump, will this be his last? Raise your voices for EEEEEEEVILLL KNIEEEEEEVELLLL!!!!”\n",
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{
"content": "[WP] You have a near-death experience that reveals you have a Guardian Angel protecting you... And you have the hots for her. You continue putting your life in danger in order to spend more time with her.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“Jesus fucking Christ,” Angel said as she beat the bear away with a stick. It roared before running off into the bramble.\n\nI didn’t know her true name – or if she even had one – but I felt like Angel fit her best. Few words could capture her beauty, if any. She was my soulmate, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life. That was, after she finished saving it again.\n\n“Hey, beautiful,” I cooed, giving her a wink.\n\nAngel scowled. “What the hell, Frank? This is the third time you’ve put yourself in danger today alone. Don’t even get me started on how many times this week.” She frowned, looking me up and down. “And this is by far the strangest.”\n\nI glanced down and followed her eyes. Rock fragments and bits of leaves stuck to my oiled body. No, that wouldn’t do. I had to look perfect, to show her my body in its purest form. Only the best for my angel.\n\n“What?” I asked.\n\n“It’s just… most people don’t wear speedos to a forest,” Angel started. She creased her brow. “But I suppose I commend your bravery. It must have taken you forever to get all that fat in such a little amount of clothing.”\n\nThe corner of my mouth twitched. Of all things…\n\n“Well, I have been going to the gym lately,” I said. “You know, gotta get that beach bod reach.”\n\n“It’s November.”\n\n“Is it? Why, I never noticed.”\n\nAngel sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. I smiled, a tingling sensation spreading in my chest. She was always so cute when she was annoyed.\n\n“Look,” she said. “I’ve been trying to be nice but you’re making this really hard. Since I saved you from being run over, you've conveniently been teetering on the brink of death all the time. I appreciate the flattery but you have to stop needlessly endangering yourself. It’s taxing and, quite frankly, down right annoying.”\n\n“But Angel –”\n\n“That’s not my name,” she growled.\n\nI crossed my arms. “Well you never told me what it really is.”\n\n“Because we have a professional relationship – not a romantic one. I can’t and don’t want to date you. It’s unethical for me as your Guardian Angel.”\n\n“Eh,” I said, shrugging. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”\n\n“I’m leaving, Frank. Go back to your shitty apartment and reddit, or whatever you waste your life on.”\n\nIn a blinding beam of shot of light, my Angel disappeared. I frowned, kicking a small rock nearby. Another rejection. But that was okay, I had all my life to convince Angel to love me. She’d come along, sooner or later.\n\nI walked to my car, thinking of new ways of catching her attention. I would have to do something bigger – more grandeiose. Then, she would know I couldn’t be left alone. She would need me just as much as I need her.\n \nI entered my car and turned the key in the ignition, the idle hum vibrating to my bones. A small smile crept onto my face as I got an idea.\n\nWhere was the closest bridge, again?",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2015-08-13T14:06:47 | 2015-08-13T11:56:03 | 25 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Your bong is the home of a genie. You spark the bowl and he appears to grant you 3 wishes. You're both pretty high.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Okay, so for my first... for my first wish-\"\n\n\"No, dude! That's not right.\"\n\n\"Oh, yeah, I already made a wish. I was just saying that because it sounds all official. I mean, it's probably not necessary. I'm sure it wouldn't matter how polite you were about making your wish. There are evil genies and good genies, but not matter how you make your wish, a good genie will know what you meant, and a good genie- no, I mean a bad genie- Well, they're not really evil. I'd imagine after thousands of years of granting the wishes of people who don't really know what they want it would really take messing a few people up just to make things entertaining. Like, a good genie has to get tired at some point, giving sound advice and consoling the peeps that rub their lamps, telling them they don't need gold and riches to be happy, to have them still wish for the gold and then find out afterward that mo' money is mo' problems.\"\n\n\"That's not what I mean, dude.\"\n\n\"No, no you're right. It's like, what do they even do while their in the lamp? if you look inside, can you see them? -all tiny and lounging on a pile of pillows or a nice soft couch. This is one mother fucker of a couch. You know what, as my first wish, I wish I could keep sitting on this sick fucking couch for thousands of years, and just peek out every once in awhile to mess with pleebs.\"\n\n\"Dude, you're the genie. I'm the guy that gets wishes.\"\n\n\"Whoa, man, maybe we're all genies.\"\n\n\"No, dude, I'm not a genie, you're really the actual genie.\"\n\n\"Are you sure? How would you know? Do you remember what it looks like outside? Like, really remember? -or do you only think you remember, and this room is just what the inside of your lamp looks like.\"\n\nA young woman in an oversize T-shirt walked in from the hallway and crossed the apartment floor toward the kitchen. She stopped at the coffee table, flicked through the ashtray until she found a satisfiably long butt, then continued into the kitchen.\n\n\"See?\"\n\n\"What do you mean see? I should be saying see. There isn't anybody else inside the lamp, just the genie.\"\n\n\"But what would a guy need a genie for if he's got that sweet dime floating around the house? Is that your shirt she's wearing?\"\n\n\"Dude, if you're not going to grant wishes, at least pass the bong...\"",
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{
"content": "[WP] Your bong is the home of a genie. You spark the bowl and he appears to grant you 3 wishes. You're both pretty high.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "After a grueling 12-hour shift, an unbelievably eternal traffic jam, and the usual round of bitching from the landlord about rent, I was finally relaxed enough to try out my new bong. It was an antique, at least 500 years old with ties to a now-deceased but formerly powerful royal Hindu family, if the overly excited but charming head shop clerk were to be believed. I'll admit, as far as bongs go, it was certainly unique. 2 feet high, with an ornately designed lapiz lazuli, jet, and emerald cobra wrapped around it, with its mouth forming the endpiece and the tail acting as the bowl, which was deeper than any I had previously owned. For 500 dollars, even my undiscerning eye could see I was getting it for a steal, vintage or not.\n\nI had acquired some choice kush to break her open, and even had to wait a full week before I could do that, because my dealer was dry at the time. But good things come to those who wait, and this sack was reeking from inside a mason jar. After carefully picking and grinding down the shiniest bud, heavy with crystals and shaped like a Christmas tree, I packed the cavernous bowl to the limit, sprinkled some crumbs on top for presentation. Emptying my lungs as much as I could, I lit the bowl and inhaled slowly for 10 seconds, lifting the bowl on \"10\" and took a massive hit, attempting but failing to clear the bong. \n\nI held in the smoke for a full minute (personal best) and blew out more smoke than an overheated vehicle with no water in the engine. Then began to cough so violently and for so long I passed out completely, falling face first onto my hardwood floor.\n\n\"You feeling better dude, or should I give you some private time with the ground,\" an unfamiliar but not unfriendly voice chuckled above me as I came to, \"I've been waiting for a call for AGES and when someone finally brings me out, it's some amateur who doesn't have the forethought to buy any muchies.\"\n\nHead throbbing both from the floor and the weed, I mustered enough wits to ask \"Who the hell are you?\" to the figure laying a little top comfortably on my couch. \n\n\"I am Phoenix Underwood, an all-powerful being who was trapped in that bong of yours for centuries, and will reward you three requests for freeing me. But first, can we please get something to eat? That was some really good shit you had right there and I could eat a whole market right now.\"\n\nTo be continued, as I have to go to work now. Any critique is welcome and if you think I should stop because I suck or for whatever reason, let me know.",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2016-03-01T13:28:59 | 2016-03-01T11:46:39 | 303 | 41 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a unknown god forgotten by all - even other gods. One day, while sitting in your private realm, you hear a voice. It's the voice of a socially awkward teenage girl - who believes she just prayed to a random name she made up for comfort (an imaginary friend).\n\nFirst Prompt.\n\nan* - in first sentence",
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"content": "I never had a flair for the dramatic. Never have I required my followers to commit the atrocities that other deities amused themselves with. What reason does one have to bleed out a perfectly suitable lamb? \n\nThe modern world was rather confusing. I took my place upon a small wooden stool. White ceramic squares adorned the rather pathetic white walls of this room. What a cramped living space. I wonder, how long had it been since I had been summoned? A millenium? Two? I digress.\n\nA young girl, not but thirteen cycles of Gaia old, lay in a mixture of bathing water, tears and blood. Through her pained visage I could see a look of bewilderment. I inspected her, my vision being pulled to the dripping crimson running down her pale wrists.\n\n\"Tell me girl, who has done this to you?\". She turned to me, wide eyed, then back to the small blade in her hand.\n\n\"I... I did.\"\n\n\"For what reason have you inflicted this terrible pain upon yourself? Surely you mortals are versed in self preservation after all these years?\"\n\n\"It just feels, I.. Wait, who are you?\". I couldn't help but to laugh.\n\n\"We've exchanged words since you were but six my child. You summoned me here.\". She stared in disbelief, but only for a moment.\n\n\"I didn't think that was real. All that time I just thought I was talking to myself.\". Of course, I must have left the memory of mankind's pantheon. I've heard many speak of this Yahweh, but have yet to meet him for myself.\n\n\"I am here now. Tell me, for what reason would you have me here? What is it that you wish child?\". I could see her eyes change the moment my words found their way to her ears. It was a look I'd seen many times, but have not witnessed in a while.\n\nRage. Pain. Murder.\n\n\"I want them to feel the pain they make me feel. I want them to hurt. I want them to scream! I WANT THEM TO DIE!\" \n\nHer tears returned in drove's. I gently wiped them away, and looked into her pained eyes.\n\n\"I am not a violent god child. I would not satisfy your blood lust with the death of others.\". Her sobs became louder, and she turned to me in despair.\n\n\"Then why are you here? You're useless! Just like everyone else!\". Ha! The audacity of this girl! I haven't heard her spit such venom in her whole lifetime.\n\n\"I'll tell you why. I've heard your words for many moons. For a time I've observed how people have treated you. What a waste of the precious gift of life. I have seen visions of your future. I have seen a proud, powerful, but kind voice. Such a capability of compassion and humility. A life forged of the fires of pain to become greatness. I came because at the moment, the visions stopped. Your future was gone. Never could I let you sit here to wallow in your misery and take your own life. So I will tell you of my uses, to assuage your many doubts.\"\n\n\"Tomorrow at this, school, you will see many clouds. Look toward the sky, and say my name once more. The sun will burst forth, just for you, and these putrid beings that have been so wretched to you will feel a lifetime of pain, confusion, and misery. They will know it's yours, and they will know that they have caused it. Without words, without revenge, you will show them your weakness, and your strength, and they will know of nothing but despair and the feeling of being a true monster. I implore you to keep your head high my child, for soon the world will know your greatness.\"\n\nAnd in a blink, I had vanished. I was not a violent god, and I sensed I had little need to linger for much longer. For a time the girl sat confused, contemplating my words and fighting the temptation to finish carving into her own skin. But I knew she would heed my words. I knew that through the fire, she would emerge a burning Phoenix, not free of the pain or the life she was given, but with a renewed sense of vigor and understanding. \n\nShe would not forgive, but eventually, she would forget. Both her pain and, eventually me. I preferred it that way. Perhaps one day my presence would be called for again, a desperate voice clinging to what little hope they have left. For now, I would watch the child of my creation, and see her wilting flower bloom once more.\n\n*typed on mobile, so forgive what's sure to be numerous mistakes.*",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are a unknown god forgotten by all - even other gods. One day, while sitting in your private realm, you hear a voice. It's the voice of a socially awkward teenage girl - who believes she just prayed to a random name she made up for comfort (an imaginary friend).\n\nFirst Prompt.\n\nan* - in first sentence",
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"content": "*It couldn't be.*\n\n\"Hello?\" I answered back.\n\n\"What the f-\n\n\"Don't freak out,\" I did my best to reassure the girl's voice, \"Take a deep breath.\"\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\nI heard a sharp intake followed by a deep sigh.\n\n\"Who are you?\"\n\n\"I guess I'm... I'm the god you prayed to,\" I shrugged, \"To be honest, I thought you prayed to me by mistake.\"\n\n\"I just picked a first and last name,\" the voice admitted, \"I'm... I'm sorry to bother you.\"\n\n\"Now hold on,\" this was my first prayer over centuries, \"What year is it and what's your name?\"\n\nA brief moment of silence.\n\n\"It's 2019...\" the girl muttered, \"And my name is Cynthia.\"\n\n\"Cynthia! Good to meet you!\" I recollected myself, \"Well, as you prayed to a God, what can I do for you?\"\n\n\"Are you really a God? This isn't Darren, is it?\"\n\nAnother moment of silence.\n\n\"Hello?\" I called back.\n\n\"I checked around my room, and I have't eaten anything weird,\" she admitted, \"So I guess you really are a god.\"\n\n\"Either that,\" I chuckled, \"Or you've gone really crazy in the head.\"\n\nShe giggled back.\n\n\"There's that smile,\" I nodded in satisfaction, \"How can I help you, Cynthia?\"\n\n\"I... I'm at that awkward age.\" The voice admitted, \"I don't have any confidence.\"\n\n\"Well, that's very common for teenagers,\" I judged her age, \"I'm assuming you're in highschool?\"\n\n\"Yes.\"\n\n\"That's perfectly normal, honey!\" I sighed, \"Everyone at that age is at a point where you don't know what you want to be. You're being molded by the people around you. You should take the time to find out who you want to be, not who everyone else wants you to be.\"\n\nI heard an uncontrollable burst of crying as I realized there was more to this girl.\n\n“What’s going on?” I asked.\n\n“My life… is crumbling around me,” I heard her sob, “My stepfather abuses me and my mother is so drunk half the time she doesn’t even know I’m here. I have no friends and… and…”\n\n“But you have me.”\n\nShe fell silent.\n\n“Cynthia,” I slowly began, “Let's start from the beginning. Tell me about yourself.\"\n\nFor the next half hour, she told me about her difficulty growing, not knowing whether there would be food on the table or not. Her scars, her pain – I felt every single one of them as she finally finished her final thought to me. What she had wanted to become when she grew up, and what she had dreamed of last night.\n\n“You know, you’re the first person who’s listened to me in a long time,” she stifled a small chuckle, “That’s ironic, isn’t it? Someone I can’t even see is the closest thing I’ve ever felt to.”\n\nA sinking sadness hit my chest as I took a deep breath.\n\n“I’ll be here for you, Cynthia. Whenever you pray, I’ll be here to listen.”\n\n“I… I think I know what I have to do now,” her crying had stopped, “I wish people could only be like you more.”\n\n“If I was your dad, I’d take you with open arms,” I reassured her, “I’m sure you’d be a wonderful daughter.”\n\nA brief moment of silence as Cynthia said her last thoughts to me.\n\n“Thank you.”\n\n“Thank you, Cynthia.”\n\nThe connection was severed as I went back to lounging about in nothingness.\n\n________________________________________________________________\n\n*I had tried to reach Cynthia over the next few days but to no avail.* \n\n*Hopefully, she didn't need me.*\n\n*While I did miss the company, I knew that she was bettering her life.*\n\n_____________________________________________________________\n\nI was surprised when another deity had visited me. His long horns atop his crown seemed to add to the ominous dread he had brought from Hell.\n\n“Lucifer,” I gave him a nervous smile, “How can I help you today?”\n\n“Hey, I wasn’t sure where to find you.”\n\n“Nobody does,” I chuckled, “Did you need something?”\n\n“Actually, I had a newcomer who was asking for you. Said that she knew you.”\n\n“Oh…”\n\n“Her name was… Sarah? Cynthia?” the devil seemed to think about it for a minute, “Anyways, come on out.”\n\nBehind his gargantuan figure, a small teenage girl walked out and waved weakly at me. Blood still flowing from the cuts in her wrists she sustained in her mortal life.\n\n“Cynthia,” I gasped in horror, “What have you…”\n\n“I came to join you,” she smiled at me, “Dad.”\n\n\n__________________________________________________\nEdited it. Took out John Cena. Might be better, might be worse. God bless /r/avukamu",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2016-06-08T12:39:54 | 2016-06-08T12:16:59 | 55 | 13 | [
{
"content": "[WP] When you die, a field of text appears in limbo, revealing the high scores of life, and your score. Your score is the top score.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "'Pretty decent.' I thought to myself as I gazed upon the floating characters in front of me. 'How many times I laughed, how many I cried, the longest piss I've ever taken. All just average things.\n\nExcept for the list which showed the times people listened to a certain song. fuck yeah did I make it to the 1st place. Aint I ever gonna give that up!'\n",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] When you die, a field of text appears in limbo, revealing the high scores of life, and your score. Your score is the top score.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What does it mean to live a meaningful life? Does getting a good job, having a wife and maybe a couple of children, only to eventually die of old age count as a meaningful life? It might to some. \nMaybe for you modelling diapers by the time you're one years old, to then kickstart your acting career and publishing an award winning album whilst getting laid by the hottest of chicks count as a meaningful life.\n\nBut what is it truly? When does a human life surpass the norm, and becomes superior to the rest? \n\nReddit gold. The more the better.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2016-08-02T19:04:22 | 2016-08-02T18:42:48 | 437 | 47 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Drunkenly, you accidentally pour vodka into your pet's water bowl. As a result, your pet breaks the number one rule: do not speak to your owner... Ever.\n\nDid NOT expect this amount of replies. Thanks guys! It'll be an interesting read.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Is it true, you're going to let me die?\" Daisy says as she lets out a whimper\n\n\"What the fuck did you just say?\" Shouts Jeremy at the old family dog he was left to care for after his parents were T-Boned by a drunk driver a fortnight ago.\n\n\"They just inject a needle and I go to sleep? Will I feel any pain?\" a sadness rolls over Daisy's eyes hoping she has misunderstood her fate.\n\n\"The fuck?! Is this the movie TED 2?!?\" a drunken Jeremy says laughing to himself\n\nDaisy jumps up on Jeremy's lap in an attempt to bring him back to reality. \"Jeremy, it's me, I know you're drunk but you're not imaging things, it's me.\"\n\nJeremy eyes widen, he can feel the pressure from his eyelids in his forehead. \"Daisy you can talk!?\" -- \"Yes, Jeremy. Please, why are you putting me down I don't want to die?\"\n\n\"Dais, it's not like that, I love you, I just don't have the money for your surgery, you're getting old\"\n\n\"Do you think there is some kind of dog health insurance you can take out with out having to list my pre-existing conditions??!\"\n\n\"Dais, I don't really know much about human health care, I don't know if that exists, this is really confusing\"\n\n\"Please, Jeremy, please don't let me die is the anything I can do to change your mind\" Daisy, still on his lap snuggles her snout under her chin, this has always works for treats, maybe it will work now. She can feel Jeremy's body start to relax, she starts to lick his neck. \n\nJeremy has always been a sucker for this type of attention, she's licked many of his tears away that were from his many failed relationships growing up.\n\n\"Jeremy, Please. I'll do anything\" Daisy whispers into his ear under a warm breathe. Jeremy slowly exhausts his lungs, uncomfortable that he his slightly aroused by Daisy's deviant voice. Daisy knows what Jeremy wants, she used sleep in Jeremy's room and watch him with his old girlfriends.\n\nJeremy leans away, confused, still drunk. Daisy backs off and starts digging at the zipper near Jeremy's crotch like shes digging for her old bone in the yard. She can feel his cock get harder with every swipe.\n\n\"Let me get that!\" Jeremy shouts as he unzippers his pants and takes out his cock.\n\n--- That's enough...\n\n",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] Drunkenly, you accidentally pour vodka into your pet's water bowl. As a result, your pet breaks the number one rule: do not speak to your owner... Ever.\n\nDid NOT expect this amount of replies. Thanks guys! It'll be an interesting read.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "I absent mindedly chewed on a carrot stick, occasionally taking a swig from a bottle of cheap vodka from the corner shop. Classic Friday night. What I hadn't realised is that I was pouring from my vodka bottle instead of my water bottle while getting Lee something to drink. \n\n'Oi!' I heard a voice from behind, making no effort to mask its contempt.\n\n'Wha...?' I 'said'.\n\n'Oi, dickhead! Feed me!' The rude demand originated from my two year old grey holland lop rabbit, who was standing on his hind legs and pointing at me accusingly. He'd never spoke to me before. I wasn't aware rabbits could do that.\n\n'Are you... talking?' I mumbled.\n\n'Yes, tosspot. I'm talking. TO YOU. GET ME FOOD.' The little terror had put four feet on the ground, and he had arched his back. His ears were flat against his body, ready to charge.\n\n'Oh for fuck's sake. You do this all the time. I wanted to get a rabbit because you lot are all so cute n fluffy...' I groaned, 'but you act royal as fuck, dude. \"Oh pet me now\" \"I deserve to be stroked.\" Why are you like this? I buy you food, I give you a nice pen that you can run around and rub your chin on everything, I even throw you some banana every now and then, but you just give me this attitude.'\n\n'Yeah but you're a bit of a dickhead. Didn't occur to you to get TWO rabbits, did you? Maybe I get a bit lonely when you fuck off to school and do whatever. \"Ooh I'm so smart because I'm human\" all I want is some company, a few bitches here and there, and maybe I did want you to pet me that one time after surgery,' he shuddered at the memory, 'but nooooo, YOU had to be the alpha rabbit. Prick,' he ranted.\n\nI couldn't believe this - what an ungrateful bellend! That little shit knew I couldn't afford a second rabbit, he obviously understands english and has been in the room when I have said that, many times. I grabbed a banana from the kitchen, and lobbed it at him. He caught the fruit in his mouth, biting it in two, throwing one half at my face. It hit me square in the nose, at considerable speed. He jumped in the air twice, binkying, and ran into his cardboard hut, flopping contentedly, nibbling on some of the banana.\n\n'Dickhead,' I muttered, leaving the room.",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2016-12-13T12:38:18 | 2016-12-13T12:34:08 | 3,129 | 295 | [
{
"content": "[WP]A Man dies and expects to go either Heaven or Hell,only to be told by an Angel that he already was in Hell and now his punishment is over",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "\"But... that can't have been *Hell?*\" Christopher said slowly. He moved his arm to tug at his shirt collar as he always did when he was nervous. Only this time, there was no shirt. There was no body at all; there was only his *belief* that he still possessed a corporeal form.\n\nThe angel smiled at him. It was a soft, gentle smile. The smile a mother gives to her baby. \"That *was* Hell, Christopher. Think back. Think of what you have been through. You have paid a great penance; a penance equal to your crime. I am here to take you home.\"\n\nChristopher's mind suddenly jumped back to the night of the car crash. The too long drive, the argument with Suzan, and then how in a spate of unusual rage, he had turned around to face his chattering, excited children in the back of the car. To tell them to **shut the hell up or he'd turn the car around right this instant. No Disne-**. Then the sound of a desperate *beep* coming from two tons of out of control metal.\n\nHe remembered waking in the hospital and begging the nurse to tell him how his family was doing. Out of all the memories he carried, the look on the nurse's face was the most vivid. He could never forget that look; a look that taunted him whilst he was awake and haunted him whilst he slept. He knew that instant, they were gone. \n\nMonths passed and he was back in his home, *their home*, only now he was alone. Well, not quite alone. He had the vodka. A constant, never ending stream of the foul spirit that would cost him his job, his friends and eventually, his health.\n\n\"It wasn't Hell,\" Christopher stuttered, \"It can't have been, because I had something...\" Christopher tried to grasp at fleeting memories; memories that brought with them a gut wrenching pain, yet they were memories that meant *everything* to him. His parents smiling at him as he opened presents on Christmas day; Suzan looking more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen before as she walked down the aisle; his children on the day they were born. \n\n\"It wasn't Hell, because I had love.\" Christopher spat out, desperate to believe it.\n\n\"Even in Hell there has to be hope, Christopher. You must know happiness to know sadness. Without one, you cannot appreciate the other. You were given a very great happiness so that you could experience a very great pain.\"\n\n\"It's... It wasn't.\" Christopher wanted to argue, but he couldn't collate his thoughts properly. His mothers slow, painful death. His best friend leaving. God, the state of the world - the starving children - was it all designed just to punish him? What did he do to cause this? What had been his crime?\n\nThe angel began to whistle a single note. It was a constant, but pleasing sound. Comforting. The noise wrapped around Christopher as if it were a blanket.\n\n\"Christopher,\" said a familar voice. It couldn't be -\n\n\"Suzan?\" he whispered as he turned.\n\nThe familiar shape of a lady began to coalesce out of the nothingness. It wasn't yet fully formed, but Christopher recognised the silhouette. Two smaller shapes began to form by her side. \n\nChristopher dropped to his knees and began to weep. \"I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry.\" \n\nEvery passing moment brought the shapes more to life.\n\n\"We forgive you,\" said Suzan smiling. She reached out an arm. \"I'm here to take you home.\" \n\nChristopher looked at Suzan, and then at the angel. The angel smiled, and nodded.\n\nChristopher ran to his family and hugged them tightly for a long time, and as he did so he wept fiercely. Eventually, he took his wife's hand, and allowed her to guide him onwards. For the first time in a long time, Christopher was smiling.\n\n---\n\nNot long after Christopher had left, the angel's form began to change; its lips curled into a cruel, satisfied grin. It had given Christopher hope and happiness back. In time it would take them away again. \n\n\n---\n\nThanks for reading. More of my stories on: /r/nickofnight \n\nI've awoken to a bit of controversy surrounding the ending. It was originally more subtle and open to interpretation; perhaps I should have left it that way. I don't always like WP twists, but to be honest I didn't think this piece was strong enough without it. I'm glad some of you enjoyed it though. Thanks for reading! ",
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{
"content": "[WP]A Man dies and expects to go either Heaven or Hell,only to be told by an Angel that he already was in Hell and now his punishment is over",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "I remember my life on Earth as though it were yesterday, despite all my attempts to forget it.\n\nI was the first born to a family of junkies. I was obviously an accident, and as such was considered one. My father spent all available money on drugs and alcohol. This included any of my money. I remember with clarity my fifth birthday. Tearing excitedly into an envelope from my grandmother and exclaiming with joy as I lifted out the crisp twenty-dollar bill. My father looked up from his bottle and promptly snatched the bill from my hands. I started to protest, only to receive a swift backhand and a harsh \"Shut up you little twerp.\" I looked with tear-filled eyes to my mother, hoping maybe she would stand up for me. Her dark, sunken eyes gazed into mine for a second or two, and then she left. I never saw her again.\n\n That whole \"All mothers have love for their children\" bull crap? I never felt it.\n\nAs I grew up, I realized school wasn't easy. The subjects were fine, but my peers were another story. My father continued to spend all his welfare money on substances, so sometimes I couldn't have a shower. Food was also hard to come by, so my ribs were always visible behind my pale skin. I was different, and so I was never accepted. I was given names, such as \"That Dark Kid\" or \"Smelly\". Beatings were a regular occurrence. I got them at school from the other kids that felt inadequate, and when I got home I got them from my similarly inadequate father. \n\nIt was probably high school when the Depression set in. I was constantly told things like \"You'll never amount to anything\" and \"You'll be just like your father.\" After so long I began to believe them. I had no dreams, no ambitions, and the only thing I looked forward to was a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of whiskey, and maybe a few pills waiting for me at the end of the day. These only made the Depression worse. All the self-loathing grew and grew, until it seemed like it would overwhelm me.\n\nAfter high school, I stayed with my father for a while. I eventually grew tired of his abuse, and so I left. I sought refuge in homeless centers, but I could never stay long as the other residents didn't like me. I certainly didn't have a charming personality, and sometimes a simple disagreement over where to sleep could turn into a full-out brawl. So I spent most of my time sleeping on park benches. It would get so cold sometimes. I would lay there, shivering, thinking, \"Tonight is the night. I'll die right here on the bench.\" But I never did. Part of me always wished I had.\n\nIt went on like this for about twenty years. I would occasionally find jobs, but I would always be fired quickly due to my smell and \"rage-prone behavior.\" Money was scarce, and so was food. Any money I got would usually go to drugs and alcohol to feed my addiction. On top of all of this, the Voices in my mind would never stop. Sometimes they would sound like people in my life, like my father, or sometimes they were completely new. Whatever they were, they always tore me down, worsening my self hate.\nI just wanted to die, but I knew I could never to it myself.\n\nAnd then that day came.\n\nIt was a Sunday morning. I was laying on a bench after yet another sleepless night. The voices were screaming, all at once, and they wouldn't stop. I closed my eyes, and for the first time in my life, I prayed. \"God,\" I said, \"Have mercy on me.\" I began to cry, just laying there, letting the last bit of hope slip through my fingers. And then I felt a hand on my shoulder. \n\n\"I hear you,\" it said.\n\nI looked up and saw a man in brilliant white clothing. His face shone like a thousand shards of glass. The sun seemed to shine directly from behind him, and his hands glowed like bronze. \"Your time is up,\" the man said. His voice was low and pleasant, like one I'd never heard before. It carried with it a sense of compassion, which in all my years I had never experienced.\n\nMy tears continued to fall. \"Man,\" I sobbed, \"I don't know what you're talking about, but anything is better than this. My life, it's like a living hell.\"\n\nAt this the man gave a small grin. \"It's funny you should say that. That's exactly where you've been.\"\n\n\nEdit: grammatical errors\n\n---\n\nIf you liked this, check out some of my other writings at /r/Alias_Fakename",
"role": "assistant"
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2016-12-30T12:19:12 | 2016-12-30T10:07:02 | 25 | 12 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Everyone is born with a special talent that's weak when young, but grows stronger and matures at the age of 30. A kid that's a little stronger than his peers will grow up to lift mountains. Another who like tinkering will revolutionize civil action. You? Well, cats just seem to like you...\n\n*civilizations\n\nEdit: WP was more popular than I though. Reading through the stories delayed because I'm traveling. Keep them coming I'm loving them! ",
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"content": "Cats. They're absolutely everywhere. The stupid things breed so fast that even game shows tell you to neuter them. Calicos and ragdolls, Siamese and otherwise can be found all over the world. It's ridiculous that such a common creature be intertwined with my one true purpose in life. Do you know what it's like to be a \"crazy cat lady\" at seven?? You don't get a lot of dates that way, not when Sharon's talent is probably dick sucking. Sorry, just venting. Anyway, the silly little felines have always loved me. When I was wearing scrunchies in my crimped hair and later on when I finally graduated from university. Since I've always felt a sense of injustice when it came to talents, I decided to seek my own sense of justice I suppose. Not many women I knew pursued the police force like I did. I ran until I threw up as feral tabbies effortlessly jogged beside me. They kept me up with their purrs and head butts as I studied for exams. The stupid and adorable things were by my side no matter what, and damn did they grow on me. I was thirty when a huge Maine Coon hopped into my squad car. My partner, Marco, was annoyed but he'd learned to deal with it by now. All the kid heard was a bunch of hissing, but fuck me if I didn't hear all about Mrs. Fluffyboots being pissed at a drug dealer kicking her kitten. My coffee dropped from my hand and only the lukewarm liquid dripping on my thigh snapped me out of it. Needless to say, cats are everywhere. They breed so often and are on every damn continent. And now? I'm the best intelligence gatherer the U.S. Government has ever seen. ",
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{
"content": "[WP] Everyone is born with a special talent that's weak when young, but grows stronger and matures at the age of 30. A kid that's a little stronger than his peers will grow up to lift mountains. Another who like tinkering will revolutionize civil action. You? Well, cats just seem to like you...\n\n*civilizations\n\nEdit: WP was more popular than I though. Reading through the stories delayed because I'm traveling. Keep them coming I'm loving them! ",
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"content": "He stroked the massive feline's head, smirking at the pleased chuff the tiger made before leveraging to its feet. The both of them were getting on in years. Still smirking at the beast, he drew his cape on, fastening it a moment before 30lbs of serval seemingly gravitated to his shoulders, draping herself across the back of his neck. \"It's time.\"\n\nThe Beast Master smiled at the liquid femininity of the serval's voice. He had understood them since he'd been in his teens, but hadn't heard them speak until his early twenties. It didn't surprise him when basically every female feline he came across sounded like seductress. \"Since when are cats ever on time?\"\n\n\"You're no cat.\"\n\nHe chuckled as he stepped out onto the balcony, overlooking the grounds of his estate. Below him, hundreds, thousands even of cats of all shapes and sizes were gathered, the majority feigning feline indifference, as if they just happened to be here at this time and place entirely on accident. Some watched curiously. Far more than he was used to watched him with steady, unblinking gazes, their full attention on the human standing above them.\n\n\"Our final victory is at hand!\" He shouted above them, meeting the gaze of many. \"The world, always yours to a degree, is now FULLY yours, once we've taken the final stronghold from the foolish Dogman and the last of his allies! Many of his followers have defected. They know where the food is now.\"\n\nTails swished below, but the cats remained quiet. More were openly paying him attention.\n\nHe nodded, feeling his muscled neckwarmer shift slightly with the movement.\n\n--\n\nI'm off to go do other things. I'm out of ideas for this for now. lol.",
"role": "assistant"
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2017-01-03T09:51:06 | 2017-01-03T07:21:24 | 107 | 53 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Your kidnapper is bored, so he makes an offer: if you can beat him 1 on 1 at a game of your choice, you go free. If you lose, you die.\n\nEDIT: 15 submissions! Thanks so much to everyone who contributed, you've all done an incredible job! I love the diversity of endings, from extremely dark to hilarious. Keep writing!",
"role": "user"
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"content": "The man with the gun pointed at my head is grinning and likely telling a lie. He seems like the kind of person to fib during a serious situation, and I can tell he’s loving the angst on my face as I mull over his horrible proposal.\n\t\n*One win equals freedom.*\n\t\n*One loss equals death.*\n\t\n*Game of my choosing.*\n\nBut why? What kind of maniac kidnaps people, plucks them right off the street as they’re walking home drunk from their cousin’s awful birthday party, and tells them they can go free if they win a silly game?\n\t\nThe kind of person I don’t want to cross.\n\t\n“*Soooooo?*” the man asks, his southern drawl stretching out the word.\n\t\n“Why are you doing this?”\n\t\n“Doing what?”\n\t\n“Kidnapping me.”\n\t\n“I’m bored.”\n\t\n“And letting me go?”\n\t\n“*I’m bored,*” he says with more force, and I realize that if I press much further, he’s probably going to shoot me.\n\t\nWhat do I pick? I’m pretty good at chess, but he looks subtly smart, the kind of person who’s been to college but you don’t believe it. Maybe we could race? No. His legs are thick and muscular. He must work out.\n\t\nWhat to do, what to do?\n\t\nThen it hits me, and a devious smirk floods my face as I stare at him.\n\t\nWinning is the wrong way to go about it. I’ll never win. Never, never, never. But I can hold him captive. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. Give him a nasty taste of his own medicine.\n\t\nThe man smiles and sets the gun down on a table. He knows I’ve decided. “What’s your poison?” he asks.\n\t\nI chuckle and nod. This is going to be fun.\n\t\n“*Monopoly.*”",
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{
"content": "[WP] Your kidnapper is bored, so he makes an offer: if you can beat him 1 on 1 at a game of your choice, you go free. If you lose, you die.\n\nEDIT: 15 submissions! Thanks so much to everyone who contributed, you've all done an incredible job! I love the diversity of endings, from extremely dark to hilarious. Keep writing!",
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"content": "\"You're kidding right?\"\n\n\"You mean the one that kids play right?\"\n\nA complete change of composure, a once stern ruling captor now childlike in his complexion, does a game of tic-tac-toe bring one who kills to a vulnerable position of confusion.\n\nApparently so.\n\nI draw the lines out on his notepad, each stroke wafting through the thick, palpable tension rising between us. I have never played a more important game in my life. My freedom is on the line, rather; marked between these lines.\n\n\"On one condition, if we tie you ain't going nowhere.\"\n\nA return to his former-self. \n\n\"That's fair\"\nAs if I had a choice.\n\nHe flips a coin, first move belongs to himself. \n\nA center placement, leaving his options open, wise but yet unable to develop into any real further strategy. \n\nI mark my cross in the lower left corner. That ballpoint pen dragging across the translucent notepaper. I take care of my marks, ever so concise does my impending fate weigh in on these simple lines.\n\nHe makes a move, faster this time, a circle in the middle of the bottom row. His brow creases, intent on this childish game. A strange parallel made between a youth game of pen on paper, would one expect to see themselves twenty years on playing the same games; for all the different reasons.\n\nA swift and easy move, middle of the top row. That cross preventing the supposed one awaiting me, how grave a thought to plague my mind, this pen my savior, granted by that one who will bring my end.\n\nHis next turn decides it.\n\nA small circle made on the bottom right. \n\nI had done it, my trap was walked into. \n\nTriumphantly I cross off the top left box, sealing the game.\nHe can't prevent my victory now, two options are available that lead to freedom. He can only prevent one. \n\nHis lower lip curls outward with this development. He knows he lost.\n\nIt pulls into a twisted smirk.\n\n\"Do you really think that I am a man of my word?\" Emphasized by the tearing of the sheet.",
"role": "assistant"
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2017-01-08T12:13:20 | 2017-01-08T11:11:41 | 32 | 11 | [
{
"content": "[WP] A person invents a time machine for the sole purpose of traveling back in time to get the autographs of every historical figure (Washington, Napoléon, Hitler, Marline Monroe, JFK) before they die. After making hundreds of trips he becomes known throughout time as the grim reaper.\n\nA person invents a time machine for the sole purpose of traveling back in time to get the autographs of every historical figure (Washington, Napoléon, Hitler, Marline Monroe, JFK) before they die. After making hundreds of trips he becomes known throughout time as the grim reaper. ",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adolf Hitler sat there, staring at the painting. It was late at night, and he was the only one in the room. The portrait was of a tall man, with jet black hair pulled back into a ponytail, like from colonial times. The most noticeable feature was a long scar running down the right side of his face, passing through his eye and ending at the corner of the man's lips. His right eye was white, dead from the injury that caused the scar.\n\n\"That's an intressing painting. I know you're quite the collector of art.\"\n\n\"Actually, this is my own. I painted it years ago,\" Hitler replied, turning to the speaker, who was hidden in the shadows. \"It is of Death, the one thing nobody can escape.\"\n\n\"I forgot you were a painter.\"\n\n\"Who are you? How did you get in here?\"\n\n\"That is not important now. I am here to talk to you about your life,\" the man replied, not showing his face. The voice was deep, and felt powerful, though not loud. \n\n\"My life?\"\n\n\"Yes. I was just wondering, why did you do it? All of it?\"\n\n\"The Aryan race is superior, and they should rule the world. It is very simple, really. All other races needed to be eliminated for this to happen,\" Hitler replied, growing impatient.\n\n\"I've spoken to many madmen, and all of their answers are similar. They just sputter out the same lies they always have. I don't know why I even asked you.\"\n\n\"I should kill you. You're probably an assassin,\" Adolf said, reaching for his pistol.\n\n\"Oh, please, there's no need for that. The last time someone tried to kill me, I ended up with a nasty scar.\" The man leaned forward, revealing his face. There was a gash running across the right side of his face. \"Turned out Genghis Khan had quite the temper.\"\n\nHitler gasped, recognizing the face from the painting. \"You are Death. I knew you here to kill me! I beg you, please spare me!\"\n\n'No, no, no, nobody gets it,\" the man said with a sigh. \"I told you, I came to talk. I am not Death, nor do I cause it. I am merely a traveler, an observer to the events of the world. People dying after seeing me is merely, err, coincidental. I am do not kill, and I am powerless to stop death. Like you said, nobody can escape death, not even I.\"\n\n\"So you only came to talk?\"\n\n\"Yes, and to ask for a signature,\" the man said, handing a notebook to Hitler. \"I collect autographs, and Adolf Hitler's is certainly one I want to add to my collection.\"\n\nHitler took the notebook, and flipped to a page that wasn't completely filled. He put his name under King George III's. \"Is that all you wanted?\" he asked. \n\nThe man took the notebook. He then said, \"You might want to look behind you.\"\n\nHitler turned around, but only saw his painting. \"What?\" he asked. When he got no response, Hitler turned back around, only to find that the man had vanished. \n\n\n\n\n\n***This is my first WP submission, so sorry if it was garbage! It'll probably get buried anyway, so it won't really matter. I'm open to suggestions, if anyone read it!",
"role": "assistant"
}
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{
"content": "[WP] A person invents a time machine for the sole purpose of traveling back in time to get the autographs of every historical figure (Washington, Napoléon, Hitler, Marline Monroe, JFK) before they die. After making hundreds of trips he becomes known throughout time as the grim reaper.\n\nA person invents a time machine for the sole purpose of traveling back in time to get the autographs of every historical figure (Washington, Napoléon, Hitler, Marline Monroe, JFK) before they die. After making hundreds of trips he becomes known throughout time as the grim reaper. ",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "January 20th, 2017 will be a day forever remembered. The first time a president has died the same day as his inauguration ceremony. \n\nI was walking up 18th Street towards Pennsylvania Avenue when someone slammed into my back, effectively knocking me over. Instinctively, I threw my arms out, attempting to cushion my fall. The man, judging by his voice, muttered a quick apology before sprinting past me and disappearing around a corner. \n\n\"Jesus,\" I whispered out loud, \"the inauguration isn't for another,\" I checked my watch, \"hour and a half. Didn't even help me up.\"\n\nLooking down at the concrete to make sure I didn't drop anything, I spotted a scattered pile of photos, most of which were in black and white. They probably belonged to the guy who knocked me over. I contemplated just leaving there, after all, it had nothing to do with me and I most likely was never going to see him again.. \n\nDeciding against rational thought, I decided to at least try to return the pictures to him. Bending down to pick them up, I noticed some writing on the back of one of the pictures, a date and a signature, to be exact. \n\nApril 30th, 1945, and under the date was a scribble where I could only make out the letters \"A\" and \"H\". On the front of the picture stood a man dressed in a long black cloak, similar, if not the same as the man who bumped into me, shaking hands with someone who had a strange resemblance to a certain German leader. That would explain the date and the signature but it wasn't possible. The man couldn't have been more than thirty years old, but there he stood, next to Adolf Hitler, smiling a thousand-watt smile. \n\nI quickly shuffled through the rest of the photos.\nThe man in the cloak standing next to so many famous people in so many different eras. There were some pieces of paper mixed into the photos with only dates and signatures on them.\n\nJohann Sebastian Bach, Napoleon Bonaparte, George Washington, Marilyn Monroe, and many more.\n\nI pulled out my phone and searched up all of these people, and the dates on the back were the same as the day they died. Either this guy had some serious photoshopping skills or something beyond my comprehension was happening. \n\nThere was no way that someone could be alive that long. There was a picture of him with Abraham Lincoln, for God's sake. This was insane, absolutely ludicrous!\n\nCould he be the hidden reason behind their deaths? I wanted to slap myself and laugh for thinking such insane thoughts. The grim reaper didn't exist. I was a strong believer in science, there was absolutely no way that- that- there was just no way, I decided. I left the pictures there on the floor, forgetting that I was going to originally going to return them. \n\nI continued my journey down 18th Street and turned right onto Pennsylvania Avenue, trying my damned hardest to erase what I had just witnessed. \n\nThe inauguration went without a hitch and everything went seemed to go smoothly afterwards, our new president even took pictures with some of the people that went to watch. I went back home to my family that night, already having forgotten about the signatures.\n\nBut nothing could have prepared me for the news regarding our new president the very next morning. \n\nDonald J. Trump was pronounced dead on January 20th, 2017 at 10:47 P.M., for reasons yet to be disclosed. \n\n--\n\nAN// this entire \"story\" was a shit show im sorry",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2017-02-07T12:46:10 | 2017-02-07T12:20:10 | 124 | 35 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You discover a grand hall filled with legendary weapons like Mjonir and Excalibur. Each generation or so, warriors come to the hall to inherit a weapon that they are worthy enough to wield. Across the hall you see a forgotten weapon that's been collecting dust. You hear it call to you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Are you trying to tell me that this legendary weapon had been in my world, not once, not twice, but three times?\" I asked the old man in disbelief.\n\nWith a heavy sigh he replied, \"Yes, but when this Hall was created to only examine a warrior's prowess in battle, not their overall competence. That being said, you've only heard of one recorded account of this hammer in your world as a Viking Prince. The second warrior was set to conquer the Eastern world yet slept with a very obvious assassin. Thus died before he got going. Then the last one died of dysentery within a week of receiving the weapon. Once the gifted warrior has passed away however the weapon is returned here, which got that assassin I just mentioned killed as her contractor couldn't believe it just disappeared.\"\n\nThe Hall was immense, the vaulted ceiling was a dark abyss with no end in sight. Down both the left and right there were alcoves with weapons on pedestals. Long and short bows, katanas, bastard swords, and even exotic weapons that I knew not their names. Each was polished and looked as though it was placed right after being crafted. \n\n *Ahh, finally...someone worthy.* \n\n\"What did you say old man?\" I snapped my head to the right and looked at him. In his dark green robe, he turned to me.\n\n\"I've said nothing...But it seems something in here has spoken. I've never heard them myself but each of these gifts pick their new owner,\" he said.\n\n*He is not worthy to hear our voices. He is weak, but you...you are strong.*\n\n\"How do they do this?\" I asked the old man, still searching for which of these magnificent weapons had spoken to me.\n\n\"I know not, it is one of the mysteries of this place,\" the old man replied.\n\n*Worry not about the feeble one. Come, take me, and let us start the beginning of the end.*\n\nThis time I could tell it was coming from the left, behind the old man. I pushed passed him, no longer paying him any heed. I walked longer than I could tell. The Hall was endless and so it was difficult to tell how long I had been running before I found it. Damn, didn't even realise I had begun to run, I was even winded. I looked to me left and right and saw two different weapons. On the left, I had only seen a weapon like this once before coming to the Hall. It was called a khopesh and had a golden pommel, with a fine leather grip. The blade itself gleamed in the light, the edge cut the light of the Hall creating a dazzling display on the alcove it rested in.\n\nYet this was not what spoke to me. On my right, covered in a heavy dust was something I had seen many times before. It was a hand a half sword, I had used one many times before and was familiar with the blade type. This one however seemed rusted and the leather strappings were cracked and faded. \n\n*Excuse my appearance. It has been some time since I've feasted, and so I've let myself go*\n\n\"This is what spoke to you? Hmph, I would have imagined you would bring Excalibur back to Earth's surface. This though? This has only seen the fall of civilizations, nothing of worth has become of those who wield this,\" the voice of the old man came from behind me. I turned to face him, and here he was. I did not hear him come up behind me. Must be another mystery of the Hall.\n\n*I was wielded by a fool who had no ideas of grandeur. She only wanted to destroy what her unfaithful king had created, and once she had done so used me to end her life. Those after her I had called to believed me to cursed. I am no such curse, but a promise. A promise to destroy who or whatever you want. It is up to you however to build the rubble into something worthy of my name*\n\n\"And what is your name?\" I asked.\n\n*Ex Nihilo*\n\n__________________________________________________________________________________________\n\n**This is my first time posting here, any words would be helpful!! Thanks for reading!**",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You discover a grand hall filled with legendary weapons like Mjonir and Excalibur. Each generation or so, warriors come to the hall to inherit a weapon that they are worthy enough to wield. Across the hall you see a forgotten weapon that's been collecting dust. You hear it call to you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Waking with a start, my blankets strewn wildly about my floor, thrown from my bed as I slept.\n\nIt was just a dream... It had to be; there's no other explanation for it. But, I've never had such a vivid dream before; not just seeing, but tasting the cold mustiness of the air, feeling the chill of the marble on the soles of my feet, hearing the quiet rustling of unseen trees, the muted clangor of steel on steel, battle cries and shouts in every language. \n\nShaking my head and sitting up, my pillows twisted and disordered behind me, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I look over at the wall and gawp, looking for a long moment as my cheeks flush red with a riot of conflicting feelings.\n\n--\n\nIt's cold; my first instinct is to cover myself. Wearing only my plaid flannel pants, my toes flex against the floor, its hard surface almost slick to the touch. The guttering candles cast flickering shadows across the blue and yellow stones of the floor, send shades flitting up the length of the fluted columns lining the hall, and cloak the sides of the hall in dancing shrouds.\n\nI can almost see into the closest niche, to my left, a branch... no, it's been carved, so perhaps a club. Feeling drawn forward, I shiver slightly and let my feet move me further into the hall; the marble frigid beneath my feet now, drawing the heat from me, the dull roar of far off combat fading as I tread deeper into the hall. \n\nTo each side, there are weapons, that much is clear, though the shadows and my need to keep walking make it difficult to catch more than a passing glimpse. As I walk though, some look vaguely familiar, a bulky hammer encrusted in runes, a finely crafted and gilded sword, displayed alongside its sheath, a Hasta, the point seeming wet with blood, even a series of bronze rapiers, gleaming brightly in the flickering light, the boar tusk helms behind them catching my eye.\n\nMoving still deeper into the shadows of the hall, a new sound reaches my ears, that of chanting, melodic and slow, singing praises, seeking benedictions, and giving devotions to God. The ecclesiastical Latin seeming somehow familiar to my ears, an instinctive understanding welling up from the very depths of my soul. To my sides now are effigies on the walls, holding their swords gently by the top of the pommel, gazing down at the path upon which I walk, seeming to both judge and welcome at once. One in particular, seems to call me off the path, my feet moving of their own volition, leading me to a towering man, his face obscured by the weathering of ages, but still conveying fierce loyalty, his cloak drawn about him as if to ward off the mountain chill.\n\nIn his grip, almost singing to me now, is a sword, not as ornate as some of the others, but with a hilt inlaid with gold, small plates set over hollows along its length. The edge, though dusty and in shadow, gleams slightly, its edge seeming as sharp as the day it was made.\n\nIn my gut, something tells me to take the blade and its simple sheath; so I do. The world explodes into a brilliant shimmering cascade for what feels like eternity.\n\n--\n\nLeaning against my bedroom wall, supported by a simple, rustic kite shield, is the sword; my sword; Durendal. I can feel, almost hear, conflicted whispering in the back of my mind; one voice, very distant and faint, calling for a wife, a son, a distant homeland. The other voice, much stronger, but still a whisper, repeats a mantra in a tongue I can't quite understand, somewhere between French, and Latin, the tone unmistakably martial, a call to battle, a call to righteous war, a call to fight for my people, to forge anew the strength and vigor of my kin.\n\nAt last, I understand. The men of the West must rise from their slumber.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2017-03-09T21:09:12 | 2017-03-09T16:38:02 | 772 | 29 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations. Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now. The aliens are very confused how we got here.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "GongSkar, a green man with long dorsal fins, touched his temple and made a few quick comments. There seemed to be an immediate response and he turned back to the humans and nodded sagely. \n\n\"Young friends...\" he began. Then a child cut him off. \n\n\"What was that thing you just talked to?\" She said.\n\nPut off balance for a moment, he turned quizzically at her and the larger versions of her in turn. \n\n\"Thing?\" He said, \"There is no thing, it's my leader in our home world. I am reporting in to him on our discovery.\" \n\n\"But your world is so far! How did you do this?!\" Multiple young scientists asked in different ways at once. \n\nThe green man looked around and saw many \"things\" pointed at him. Small rectangles with lights. Humans where frantically tapping them and talking into them.\n\nAfter a long pause, the green mans face moved from surprise and irritation at the interruption to confusion to something close to pity. It finally settled on the look a neighbor may give to a very young person who has asked them something profound that should be answered by a parent and not them. \n\n\"Um... it is communication. All living beings are connected. Any race that has reached beyond themselves as you have into the great space has done so because they have... understood... this connection. We can speak to each other, feel each other, understand each other. This connection gives us empathy. This empathy sparks and evolution. This we grow and prosper.\" \n\nHe grew concerned at the lack of response, any response, that might demonstrate that this race understood this critical brain function. \n\nNone came. \n\nHe turned to his fellows who looked aghast. He signaled a brainwave akin to a look humans might give to each other entering a super lame party.\n\n\"This is not our scene... Let's get out of here...\" ",
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{
"content": "[WP] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations. Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now. The aliens are very confused how we got here.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "Zorniffous was unsure. Zorniffous was also 100% certain.\n\nThat is to say that Zorn, as his friends knew him, was feeling very uncertain about his very accurate understanding of the situation.\n\nThe fact was, this world was puttering along just nicely in some key respects. In others, they were magnificently failing. \n\nThe report to the homeworld might get him klubooked from the University. No one in any position of authority would believe a word of it.\n\nZorn stroked his ruddington with his favorite clawdorf and pondered the next move.\n\nPhilosophers had wondered for centuries what alternative technological pathways could exist, and here was a wonderful example of it, ripe for study. It seemed this world developed on the basis of accidental discovery rather than rigorous testing. Happy accidents provided them with antibiotics prior to the development of hormonal manipulation and something consistently impeded their willingness to experiment on others of their own species.\n\nIf they were only sufficiently committed, aging, dementia, and mental and physical illnesses would be over.\n\nWhy wouldn't they want to change? Isn't life suffering? Isn't the purpose of science to improve the conditions of being?\n\nZorn sighed from a little over half of his gumbles and puzzled about this strange species' commitment to their current form.\n\nIf he told others, they would come here to gawk at these narcissists; at least those who weren't too busy laughing at Zorn.\n\n\"Oh well,\" thought Zorn after a few hours of mulling whether to share his discovery, \"I already have tenure anyways.\"\n\nThe ovular cruiser orbiting the planet turned, speeding far, far away from the strange and backward planet, populated with a species wholly uncommitted to exploring the wonders of the universe.\n_________________________________________________\n\nEDIT: Removed some made up pronouns intended to convey alienness of Zorniffous. However, on switching the pronouns, it became clear I had been writing in part to incorporate as many as I could and that even after swapping the pronouns it was still a bit disjointed as a result.\n\n",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2017-03-10T01:57:10 | 2017-03-09T16:38:02 | 41 | 29 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations. Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now. The aliens are very confused how we got here.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It sat there in the middle of the interrogation room, looking around, well what appeared to be looking around.\n Private Daniels was staring at through the one way mirror and looked both fascinated and appalled at the same time. The bases chief medical examiner was also here, \"So I understand Major that Private Daniels here was the only one who didn't get sick or pass out from initial contact.\" he said turning to to Major Anderson. Anderson nodded, \"Apparently the thing initially communicated or tried to communicate with what Daniels here says the closest thing he can explain it as 'verbal colors' which to quote him felt like downing a 24 pack and riding three roller coasters at the same time while looking at a magic eye poster.\" Anderson shook her head at Daniels who looked like he was going to try to defend saying that, who immediately quieted himself. The medical examiner nodded, \"That is interesting, I was hoping for some better insight into the situation I'm dealing with, but that will have to do, I'll be going back now to try to deal with the ones who still haven't woken up.\" He turned and left the room mumbling about anti-vertigo medication. Anderson turned back to the mirror as Daniels gasped, the thing had focused it's, for lack of a better word, eyes on the mirror and spoke in english, which it seemed to have learned after squad one passed out, \"Sorry to interrupt, but I could use access to your Three Shells Facility.\" Anderson squinted and looked at Daniels before pressing the intercom button, \"Three Shells Facility? Whats that?\" \nThe thing looked aghast, or at least that's what Anderson and Daniels attribute the action it did to be, \"You Don't even know about the Three Shells?\" It shook it's head and stood, \"I'll be back, I really can't be here without access to the Three Shells, please don't panic.\" It then made a 'sound' and then 'popped' away, leaving the room empty.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Earth is discovered by a peaceful coalition of civilizations. Turns out we missed several major technologies normally developed by now. The aliens are very confused how we got here.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Zorniffous was unsure. Zorniffous was also 100% certain.\n\nThat is to say that Zorn, as his friends knew him, was feeling very uncertain about his very accurate understanding of the situation.\n\nThe fact was, this world was puttering along just nicely in some key respects. In others, they were magnificently failing. \n\nThe report to the homeworld might get him klubooked from the University. No one in any position of authority would believe a word of it.\n\nZorn stroked his ruddington with his favorite clawdorf and pondered the next move.\n\nPhilosophers had wondered for centuries what alternative technological pathways could exist, and here was a wonderful example of it, ripe for study. It seemed this world developed on the basis of accidental discovery rather than rigorous testing. Happy accidents provided them with antibiotics prior to the development of hormonal manipulation and something consistently impeded their willingness to experiment on others of their own species.\n\nIf they were only sufficiently committed, aging, dementia, and mental and physical illnesses would be over.\n\nWhy wouldn't they want to change? Isn't life suffering? Isn't the purpose of science to improve the conditions of being?\n\nZorn sighed from a little over half of his gumbles and puzzled about this strange species' commitment to their current form.\n\nIf he told others, they would come here to gawk at these narcissists; at least those who weren't too busy laughing at Zorn.\n\n\"Oh well,\" thought Zorn after a few hours of mulling whether to share his discovery, \"I already have tenure anyways.\"\n\nThe ovular cruiser orbiting the planet turned, speeding far, far away from the strange and backward planet, populated with a species wholly uncommitted to exploring the wonders of the universe.\n_________________________________________________\n\nEDIT: Removed some made up pronouns intended to convey alienness of Zorniffous. However, on switching the pronouns, it became clear I had been writing in part to incorporate as many as I could and that even after swapping the pronouns it was still a bit disjointed as a result.\n\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2017-05-31T07:11:19 | 2017-05-31T02:05:57 | 1,143 | 646 | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I wiped a tear from my eye as she walked down the aisle. My beautiful baby girl, all grown up!! I watched her step up next to the man she loved. He took her hand and they turned towards the adoring crowd.\n\nHe gave his speech. Everything my little girl had done! It seemed like a fairytale, coming out of his mouth. I watched with bated breath, as the ring slipped onto my little girl.\n\nAround her neck.\n\nWhat a cruel twist of fate, for your boyfriend to be the hangman.",
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{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "You ever get lost in thought? So much so that you lose all track of time? Well I do, thinking about my life and what I regret. Wondering if that girl at the coffee shop likes me or am I delusional. The bills that are due and what I would like for dinner. \n\nI get so wrapped up in it I can forget to even move. Like I'm sleeping, like sleep paralysis except there's no creepy shadows or odd sounds. Just me and my own inner monologue. Do you think you can overthink yourself? I don't know, but this metal table is a bit cold and hard on my back. ",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2017-05-31T07:58:46 | 2017-05-31T07:36:43 | 272 | 25 | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It was a Saturday. After a long week at work, Todd decided to sleep in. He got up half past ten, took a quick shower, then headed to the nearest Denny's for breakfast. \n\nTodd ordered his usual... a Grand Slam. With a smile, the waiter left after taking his order. Looking out the window, Todd regretted getting up so late. It was a beautiful day... sunny and not a cloud in sight. Suddenly, he felt a slight tap on his shoulder. It was his waiter. They ran out of bacon.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I’ll never forget that Christmas.\n\nHow could I?\n\nThe splendid tree draped in tinsel and baubles and winking fairy lights; the colourful gifts spread beneath, still wrapped and tied in silken bows though morning had long since passed.\n\nFather always made us wait until after Christmas lunch to open our presents.\n\nI can still see him now, standing at the head of the table with that gleam in his eye as he sharpened the carving knife.\n\n“Now children,” he asked, “who wants a leg?”\n\nAnd although none of us replied, he still began sawing into the crisp skin of mother’s roasted thigh.\n",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2017-05-31T08:55:19 | 2017-05-31T07:28:26 | 138 | 37 | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Max stood by the barn entrance, trying to hold back his tears. A tough thing for a child to see, I thought. But he's got to learn about it somehow.\n\n“Please just tell me, Dad,” Max said finally. “Is Buddy going to be okay?”\n\nI looked down at the ground, at Buddy whimpering quietly in the grass. His collar was askew, and I could see by his glassy eyes that he was in trouble. \n\n“Why didn’t you keep him on a leash like you promised?” I said. “You know how he likes to run around.”\n\nMax looked away. “I just wanted to play with him.”\n\n“It’s not enough that you forget to feed him?” I said. “You neglect him for days at a time, and I have to put his bowl out? You promised to take care of him, remember?”\n\n“I’m sorry, Dad,” Max said, tearing up again. “I do take care of him, I promise. I just let him off the leash for a second, and he ran right onto the road.”\n\n“Anyway,” I said. “I don’t think he’ll make it.”\n\nI walked to the back of the barn and pulled the shotgun off the wall. \n\n“Look,” I said, walking around to get myself in position. “I can get you another one from Aunt Francine. She told me she just got a new batch. But you have to be more careful next time.”\n\n“I promise,” Max said. “I’ll keep the next one on a leash and do everything you say. I swear.”\n\n“Good,” I said, and pointed the shotgun at the back of Buddy’s head. “You can keep his shoes if you like.”",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "“Why would you help me?!” The man sobbed, “I’m your enemy!”\n \nThe man who was carrying through the charred battlefield paused, “because you and I are the only ones who survived.”\n \n“Oh gods, did you see that thing?” he broke down in tears.\n \nThe other man sighed and set him down. He brushed some blood and dirt off his dirty white cloak and sat down next to the man who’d lost his leg. “I’m Obrecht,” the white cloaked one said, “what’s your name?”\n \n“Obrecht?” his jaw dropped, “You're the king!”\n \nHe nodded, “I was just crowned in the stead of my father.”\n \n“My name is Rausus, oh king.”\n \n“Drop the formal crap. I’m a human being like you right now. Now can you tell me what happened?”\n \nRausus was shocked, “you’re covered in blood, surely you-”\n \n“It’s mostly from trying to find survivors.”\n \n“Ah, well...” he took a shaky breath, “there was a monster unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I breathed great gouts of flames and ate men whole. I-I only got away because my best friend pushed me away. The beast got my leg, but it took his life.” He broke down sobbing again.\n \nObrecht punched him lightly on the shoulder, “you’re a man, aren’t you?” He fell silent. The only sounds were the haunting choruses of crows and this man’s pitiful sobbing.\n \nObrecht suddenly got up and ran off a little ways. He retched and emptied the contents of his stomach. Rausus stifled his cries and looked up to the man.\n \n“I’m sorry Rausus, but if it’s any consolation, your friend tasted horrible.”\n",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2017-05-31T08:55:19 | 2017-05-31T07:06:28 | 138 | 17 | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Max stood by the barn entrance, trying to hold back his tears. A tough thing for a child to see, I thought. But he's got to learn about it somehow.\n\n“Please just tell me, Dad,” Max said finally. “Is Buddy going to be okay?”\n\nI looked down at the ground, at Buddy whimpering quietly in the grass. His collar was askew, and I could see by his glassy eyes that he was in trouble. \n\n“Why didn’t you keep him on a leash like you promised?” I said. “You know how he likes to run around.”\n\nMax looked away. “I just wanted to play with him.”\n\n“It’s not enough that you forget to feed him?” I said. “You neglect him for days at a time, and I have to put his bowl out? You promised to take care of him, remember?”\n\n“I’m sorry, Dad,” Max said, tearing up again. “I do take care of him, I promise. I just let him off the leash for a second, and he ran right onto the road.”\n\n“Anyway,” I said. “I don’t think he’ll make it.”\n\nI walked to the back of the barn and pulled the shotgun off the wall. \n\n“Look,” I said, walking around to get myself in position. “I can get you another one from Aunt Francine. She told me she just got a new batch. But you have to be more careful next time.”\n\n“I promise,” Max said. “I’ll keep the next one on a leash and do everything you say. I swear.”\n\n“Good,” I said, and pointed the shotgun at the back of Buddy’s head. “You can keep his shoes if you like.”",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I watch my beautiful child running around the park, chasing after the ducks. It’s one of those rare sunny days I try and make the most out of, so I was up early and out of the house as soon as possible. My daughter picks up a rock and stares at it inquisitively, I can see the by the look on her face she wants to place it into her mouth.\n\n“Lily put that down!” I shout across the grass.\n\nShe looks at me suddenly and drops the rock, running away and giggling that she had been caught.\n\n“Rachel!”\n\nI turn around and see Samantha running towards me.\n\n“You okay?” she asks once she has settled by my side.\n\nI nod and inhale. “I’m fine. Glad the sun is out.”\n\n“Finally,” she agrees. “How’s you hubby? Richard not come with you guys?”\n\n“He’s back home, decided to stay in today.”\n\nMy daughter trips over her own feet and is beginning to sniffle. Standing up I walk towards her and she is up, running towards me with her arms out, wanting comfort. I sweep her up into my arms and cuddle her.\n\n“Let’s get you cleaned up.”\n\nI bring her to where I am sitting, cleaning the scrapes and dirt from her hands. Samantha always loves to see her, so the both of them are sat singing nursery rhymes and playing with the little figurines Lily has brought from home. Later on we get ice cream together and spend the rest of the daylight with the swings and slides. Lily loves it, screaming and laughing at everything. By the time the sun begins to settle down, she is ready to drop, so I pack the pram and tuck her in.\n\nAs I stroll home however, I wonder what I am going to do with my dead husband’s body that is hanging from the wardrobe's door.\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2017-05-31T08:06:41 | 2017-05-31T07:48:23 | 32 | 11 | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I was always jealous of my twin sister. She was the outgoing one, hanging out with friends, while I stayed home. And when we were home together, it seemed that no matter what I did it just seemed to be the same as her. Our parents paid more attention to her than me. Praised her grades, her friends, her laughter and smiles. \n\nWhen we were younger, she paid more attention to me, we played for hours in puddles and the living room with the french doors. But as we grew, she began to make friends while I didn't and she began ignoring me in favor of her new, more interesting friends. \n\nTomorrow is prom. Her dress is my dress, her hair style is my hair style. If this is my one chance to outshine her, I will. I'll be the one to step out onto that dance floor, laugh and chat with my new interesting friends, talk about going to college, getting away from this town. She will pay for the years of ignoring me, her mirror twin. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] write a short horror story that seems completely normal and non scary until the very last sentence at which point it becomes absolutely terrifying.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"I see the moon and the moon sees me...\", the voice sang smoothly and sweetly.\n\nLike so many other nights in my life the words of that lullaby cascade through the room and into my fading consciousness.\n\n\"Down through the leaves of the old oak tree...\", the voice and the song remind me of my mother and it washes me with a sense of comfort.\n\nSleep has been hard to come by these last few weeks. A truly deep rest continues to elude me.\n\n\"Please let the light that shines on me...\", the subtext of every perfect note says *sleep*.\n\nFinally, this is going to be the night, I can feel it. I need it.\n\n\"Shine on the ones I love.\"\n\nI feel myself slipping away into blissful rest. Darkness creeps into the depths of my thoughts. Sleep at long last.\n\n\"Sorry, hun, not tonight.\"\n\nThe light of white hot pain pierces through my entire being; my adrenaline spikes as the blade pulls slowly across what's left of my bloodied body again and again as I lock eyes once more with my angelic voiced captor.\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2017-06-14T04:28:22 | 2017-06-14T02:49:41 | 1,979 | 126 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You suddenly realize you left Earth.exe open over night. What was supposed to be a simple simulation has instead generated a \"Humans\" folder that is rapidly increasing in size.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I watch them for a while - these tiny, pixelated people, in their perplexing, simulated world. Cloud like thought bubbles pop up over their heads: hearts, money, houses, cars, and, for a single moment, I think I see a bubble with the name \"*Dan,*\" inside it. But I look again and it's gone. \n\nThere are more of them, too - the people - than when I went to bed. *There shouldn't be*. There was a limit, and they've somehow *massively* exceeded it. The \"humans\" folder is at least two thousand times the size it was last night.\n\nI didn't create fast food joints, or the huge tower blocks that poke up and slice into the sky. *How could they be there?* As I scan the map, I realise the inhabitants have expanded from the continent I placed them on. They've somehow crossed a great sea. I scroll around the edges of the land, finding dozens of harbours and fishing boats and oil rigs. *What the hell is going on?*\n\nI begin to find numerous churches. I zoom in on one and see tiny writing on a sign outside of it: 'The church of Dan.' Had the simulation somehow accessed my computer and gotten my name from it?\n\nI click on one of the people and drag her up off the ground. \"What are you?\" I whisper to the screen. An open-mouthed emoji pops up in her thought bubble. I hadn't given them the choice of that reaction...\n\nI let go of the button and she falls to the ground in a pool of pixeled reds. Other simulated citizens begin to gather around her un-moving body. \"Dan,\" pops into some of their thought bubbles, as well as pictures of two hands pressed together in prayer. One of them has an an angry emoji above him, and he looks up at the sky - toward me, almost.\n\nThe man's thoughts seem to be contagious, and soon the entire crowd is looking up at me, angry and sad and confused. Then, they look down, and their thoughts begin to change to oil and matches and churches. They march through the town, and as they do so, citizens that walk past them become infected. The crowd swells in numbers as it approaches the church.\n\nA handful of worshipers are pulled out of the building by the crowd, and thrown to the floor, tear emojis hovering over them.\n\nThe structure bursts into tongues of flickering flame, and the crowd outside cheers. I zoom out and soon see other churches nearby become engulfed by fire.\n\nA shiver runs down my spine - this doesn't feel right. I bring up the console.\n\n> exit\n\nThe game doesn't close instantly. Instead, the screen grows slowly dark. Thunderclouds hover over cities, and lightning turns buildings into brick torches. Some citizens head to the remaining churches, but most run aimlessly into the streets with thoughts of \"Dan\" and \"Help!\" and \"Forgivness\" hovering over their heads. Debris tumbles down onto them. Fire rains from the sky, until the world is ash, and eventually, the screen goes black.\n\nI let out a long sigh of relief and push my chair away from the computer.\n\nI check the time. I haven't missed it yet, but I'll have to get moving.\n\nAs I leave my house I take in a lung-full of fresh air and look up at overcast the sky. I try to imagine a giant hand tumbling down from space and grabbing hold of me. I laugh at the ridiculous image. \n\nA few minutes later, I walk into the Church of Clive and begin my prayers. \n\n\n---\n\nmore stories over on the church of nick sub: /r/nickofnight\n\n\n\n ",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] You suddenly realize you left Earth.exe open over night. What was supposed to be a simple simulation has instead generated a \"Humans\" folder that is rapidly increasing in size.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I’m tired. I’m so, so tired. My neck is sore, as is my back, I’ve got a splitting headache, my bed isn’t normally this uncomfortable… Oh. I slept at my desk. No wonder I feel like shit. I sit up slowly and look at my computer monitor. It’s off, but my computer fan is making a little noise. I turn the monitor on with a satisfying click of a button in the lower right corner. The screen comes to life with scrolling and facing text, charts of all kinds, and most important of all, a window sitting in the center of my screen reading, \n***“FILE FOLDER /Users/Work User/Desktop/Earth v2.5/Creatures/Humans - INFORMATION”*** \n***“FILE SIZE: 22.5 EXABYTES”*** \n***“LAST ACCESSED: Day 3, Week 47, CXXXXX, AT 06:45”*** \n22.5 *exabytes*? That’s a whole lot larger than I expected. Then again, `Earth.exe` was not exactly meant to run overnight. \nMy head still pounding, I manage to navigate to the folder while downing three glasses of water and a painkiller. As soon as the folder opens, everything on my computer slows down. \nHoly shit. There are over 12 billion `.txt` files in here. \nAnd that’s including the files that just read `Status: Deceased`. \nI open up one of the files named `Leonardo DiCaprio.txt`. Let’s see here… \n`Status: Alive,` \n`Age: 42 Earth Years,` \n`Main Career: Actor,` \n`(Recent) Accomplishments: Received Oscar Award…` \nAnd it just keeps going. And going. And going. Seemingly forever. Then again, if this file’s 2 gigabytes, then some of the others must be even bigger. I check back to the `Humans` folder. 45.58 exabytes. It’s already bigger? It, like the simulated Leonardo DiCaprio’s file, just keeps going on seemingly *forever*. I close the folder and the text file, as I’m much too lazy to manually search through it myself. Luckily, I programmed one of the charts open in the background to have a search feature. But what to search? \n \n`A`. Recommended results pop up: \n`Anderson Cooper, Alfred Hitchcock, Adolf Hitler, Amy Winehouse…` \nNo. I’m sure these results will be interesting later, but they don’t interest me. \nHow about `B`? No luck there. \n`C`? No. \n`D`? No. \nLet’s skip a few letters, shall we? \n`L`? Already found Mr. DiCaprio, so skip. \n`M`? No. Skip to the end of the alphabet… \n`W`? More recommended results: \n`Warren Buffett, Winston Churchill, Walter Disney, William Wallace, Walter Whitman…` \n \n`Winston Churchill:` \n`Status: Deceased,` \n`Age: Deceased,` \n`Main Career: Government Employee,` \n`(Recent) Accomplishments: Involved in the sub conflict of Gallipoli during the conflict known as “World War One.”` \n`British Prime Minister during and after the conflict known as “World War Two.”` \n \nThis “Churchill” has my attention. I’m no longer tired. I need to know more about this piece of code that was supposedly such a big part of the recent history of a world that doesn’t exist. I hope I’ll be able to read up on him before my computer runs out of storage. \n \n&nbsp; \n \n*Many formatting, spelling, and consistency edits were made during the creation of this story*",
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2017-07-02T01:08:26 | 2017-07-01T20:06:58 | 36 | 24 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Theorising that so-called \"life-force\" or \"souls\" is actually just the electricity coursing through the nerves of living things, you try to sacrifice a battery to a demon.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "\"Speak, mortal. Else this moment shall be your last.\"\n\nI swallowed. While some had success, there were just as many who failed.\n\n\"Servant of the Devil King. We have... *ahem* We have made a discovery concerning the human soul.\"\n\nThe demon leaned close.\n\n\"I smell your deceit.\"\n\nI reached back and scratched my head, a nervous tic.\n\n\"Ah, I had lemon on my fish for lunch.\"\n\nThe demon recoiled in fear then coughed.\n\n\"What of this discovery?\"\n\nI reached into my pocket, drawing forth a package of AAA batteries.\n\n\"We now know how to create and trap human souls. Here is a sample of small, young souls.\"\n\nI jumped as the batteries flew out of my hand and into the demon's.\n\n\"Hmmm. The taste is odd, almost fake.\"\n\nSweat ran down my back. Time to sell it or be consumed.\n\n\"We can grow diamonds in a lab. To the naked eye, they look the same as genuine ones but to an expert the signs are clear. I am no expert in souls, though I know these too are lab grown. Are they unsatisfactory?\"\n\nThe demon leaned back, perhaps prepared to kill me but now unsure.\n\n\"These will do fine. What of me would you like? Fame? Fortune? Power?\"\n\nI grinned.\n\n\"Funny you should ask that. What can I have if I get you more souls? Large, powerful souls?\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Theorising that so-called \"life-force\" or \"souls\" is actually just the electricity coursing through the nerves of living things, you try to sacrifice a battery to a demon.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Obviously I've made mistakes in long life, I'll grant you that. But for the life of me, I never imagined that these humans are this fucking stupid! \nThere I stood, middle of a damn summoning circle, some goofy haired human stood there with a single D battery in his outstretched hand. \n\nThis little bitch of a goatsee bastard is all like\n\"I have a soul to trade!\"\n\nAn us Demons dont think really highly of ourselves but this clown looks up at me, im standing like seven feet above his fucking head! Looks up at me and I swear to dirty old Lucy! This monkeyass lanky little tit drinking bitch is like completely sure I'm gonna trade him some bargain for a goddamned fucking D battery.. \n\nAn I'm kinda thrown off, I'm like..\n\"Is that a fucking D battery?\"\n\nAn shit face is like.\n\"What? Noooo?\" An then he laughed, trying to play it off, as if he wasn't pissing himself. Actual urine running down his leg.\n\n I'm just like.\n\"I can fucking see duracell on the fucking label bro!\"\n\nAn lil skipper is pale as a fucking blanket of snow, like 9th circle white! \nTears running from his eyes, he looks up at me \"I was just testing a scientific theory?\"\n\nWell fuck me if I wasn't pissed!\nLittle shit disturbs my weekend off .. an I have to let him go cause we are on the same side of the game.\nFuck.. ING.. rotted ..",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2017-11-13T20:08:12 | 2017-11-13T19:45:25 | 401 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] One day in class you decide to scream something in your head to catch mind readers. As you do, you see your crush flinch",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "\"In Act 1, scene 3 of Macbeth, we are finally introduced to our main character. This is shown through various supernatural elements...\"\n\nProfessor Yates continued with his lecture as I doodled chibi dinosaurs and Harry Potter stick figures in the margins of my notebook. Stifling a yawn, I jotted down a quick synopsis of \"Jacobean witchcraft\" and double checked that my tape recorder had full batteries before smooshing my chin into my hands. My thoughts wandered to the theater cast party I had attended last night for my roommate. I wasn't even in the play, or a theater major, yet I attended all the parties with her and never failed to regret it the next morning. I added a stick figure of my roommate being eaten by the chibi dinosaur to my notes. \n\nA snort sounded to my right and I looked over to see my friend Daniel staring down at his desk. A fading smile had barely begun to disappear as I glanced at him, but he turned his head away and scribbled on his paper some more. I thought about throwing something at him to make him come sit next to me, but I didn't want to interrupt the professor, who was not known for his leniency. Instead, I turned back to my own notes and let my mind wander.\n\nI wondered if \"Macbeth\" had ever dealt with a hangover before. Probably not. I think he was the theater roommate in this example, and poor Banquo was the tagalong who didn't know that a \"Screwdriver\" was more vodka than orange juice. No wonder he came back to haunt Macbeth.\n\nI wondered what part I would be cast as if I ever did a production of \"Macbeth.\" I would want to be Lady Macbeth, but with my luck I'd be the drunk porter. I think I could bring some life to it though. Maybe in a \"modern\" retelling, I'd just come out in a fluffy pink bathrobe with some whiskey.\n\nI wondered, as I often do, if anyone would find these thoughts strange, or if everyone goes on a tangent when they let their mind free. Maybe there was a mind reader who I should probably apologize to for sending them so many distracting daydreams?\n\nWhenever I think this question, I normally can't prevent myself from conjuring up pornographic images and random inappropriate thoughts. I think it's a nervous reaction. It's like the moment I think, \"Okay, if there's a mind reader, best not imagine a dick pic\", and then automatically my mind is filled with dirty images. I often formally apologize in my head to anyone who may be able to read minds, just in case. \n\nToday though, right before the first risque image could flit across my imagination, I noticed Daniel again. He had jumped in his seat a bit and seemed to go a little pale when I thought the words \"mind reader.\" As soon as I looked over, he shifted uncomfortably.\n\nCuriosity and boredom made me think, \"Daniel?\" He did not look over and seemed concentrated on his notes. I squinted my eyes and immediately imagined our professor naked. Daniel's head shot up and looked over at me as my jaw dropped. His eyes widened to match mine and he looked back down at his table.\n\n*Oh no you don't.* I thought. *Don't you dare think you are getting away with this. Look back here right now.* I continued to stare him down and began to conjure up more images of our professor in... interesting positions. Finally, Daniel looked over at me and mouthed, \"stop.\"\n\nMy mind fizzled for a second and then rebooted. *What the fuck!?* Was the only coherent thought I could manage. Daniel shrugged and managed a small wince. \n\n*You fucking **read minds**??*\n\nHe shrugged.\n\n*For how long??*\n\nHe shrugged again.\n\n*Can anyone else do that?* My eyes swung wildly around and I shoved down the constant nervous reaction to suddenly imagine everyone naked. Daniel smiled a little and a thought occurred to me. He froze. I froze. He looked up and I saw his cheeks begin to turn pink. I could hear my heart in my ears.\n\n*So you knew...?*\n\nGradually, Daniel gave a tiny nod.\n\n*You son of a --*\n\n\"Tatianna, what do you think?\"\n\nMy head jerked up to see Professor Yates staring at me over his bespectacled nose. \n\n\"Uhh.\" I looked around and saw the class looking at me expectantly. The board gave no clues as to what had just been discussed and the Professor's silent air of expectation did nothing to help me. I glanced over at Daniel to see him casually flip a page of the play.\n\n*Snarky son of a--*\n\n\"Mr. Collins, would you like to assist Ms. Kim as she seems to have lost her tongue?\"\n\nI grimaced and glared at Daniel, who didn't bother looking up from the play. There's no way he heard the question either. It was his fault I missed it anyway.\n\n\"Macbeth's mental health in the play is a represented by a slow and steady mental decline. We see in the beginning that the character shows symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which gradually accumulate into a type of paranoid schizophrenia, as evidenced through his hallucinations and the line \"my mind is full of scorpions.\" This relates to the current state of his mental health and is a line I personally can connect with.\"\n\nProfessor Yates looked at Daniel with admiration and nodded approvingly. \"Well done, Mr. Collins. I look forward to hearing more about your thoughts on this matter. Ms. Kim has a lot she could learn from you.\" He raised an eyebrow at me before turning to torture another student. \n\nI shot daggers at Daniel. \n\n*You have never read a word of Macbeth in your life. How the hell did you do that?*\n\nHe grinned and tapped at his head. My mouth opened in indignation and I turned back to my notes, adding scribbles of Daniel being consumed by numerous reptiles.\n\n*After class, we need to talk.* Was the last thought I sent his way.\n\nEdit: Fixed a story flaw",
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{
"content": "[WP] One day in class you decide to scream something in your head to catch mind readers. As you do, you see your crush flinch",
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{
"content": "\"Mr. S?\"\n\n\"Yeah?\"\n\n\"Can I just get something off my chest?\"\n\n\"Sure, kid. 'Course you can.\"\n\n\"Band class is fucking boring when nobody actually tries. You just sit there with your instrument on your lap, staring into fuckin' space, listening to the poor teach' tryna get the attention of the class while everybody just screams. The baritone section is a mess, only one trumpet is decent, and you can't hear the flutes *or* the clarinets. \n\nSo she yells, \"Alright! Alto saxes, come here!\"\n\nSo we do, 'cause four of us aren't dipshits. \n\nAnd then she says, \"Guys, this is Michael. He's in grade eleven, and he's going to tutor you for a few weeks.\"\n\nThis dude, this dude is somethin'.\n\nSo she sends us into a practice room, and we all take a seat, and he gives us a once-over, and I give him a once-over, Christ, Mr. S, you should've seen that dude. His eyes are this perfect almond shape, and they're a perfect coffee-colour. He has this shoulder-length curly hair, but it's *real* soft, and he has a sharp nose and chin and cheekbones. Big lips. He was wearing this oversized sweater, red and brown stripes, and weird jeans, and *weed* socks, but he said that was 'cause the rest of his socks were in the laundry. He had a wrist brace on, and he says it's 'cause he broke his thumb. He has olive-coloured skin, like what Katniss Everdeen was supposed to look like. He's cocky like a fucking asshole, but... There's something more. \n\nPardon the French.\"\n-------------------------\n\n\"Mr. S?\"\n\n\"Talk to me kiddo.\"\n\n\"So I have a huge crush on him. *You* know. Michael. So he's cocky like a fucking asshole, like I said. But, god. I think I'm hopelessly in love. Day 1 of tutoring, he tells me to just play. Said it wasn't good but that I was the best out of all the saxes. \n\nThen, like a week of tutoring, and I was practicing outside of class, and again we're playing, he says I'm the best again. Gosh, I can't tell you how red I got after that, Mr. S. But anyway, yesterday the rest of the saxes just... wandered off? And it was just me and him. And he looked at me. *He looked at me*. But not in a mean way. Just sort of... a way. And told me to play with the metronome, and 'course I didn't 'cause I don't really know how, and when I was done he *laughed*. And then I saw him on the bus home, Mr. S, I saw him, and we made eye contact, and he *laughed* and smiled his stupid dork smile. He has crooked teeth. Real crooked teeth. And we've done it a few times! At Halloween, he dressed up as a soldier, and lemme tell you, he looks damn good in a uniform, and I was Waldo, and we were walking down the hall, and we did the same thing. \n\nMy heart always does that thing where it leaps into my throat, and I get all floaty and I can't breathe. I'm really in love, Mr. S.\"\n\n\"Y'know kiddo, I don't doubt that you are. I really don't.\"\n\n--------------------\n\n\"Mr. S! I think he's psychic?\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"I think he's psychic! So today, it was band, and I was real bored 'cause everyone was being a dipshit again, and I decided to scream in my head, 'cause I wanted to check for psychics. So I screamed, just like 'hey!', and he flinched! Also, we've been Snapchatting each other a lot, *and* he likes *all* my Instagram photos. That really means a lot to us high schoolers ya know. I don't know him all that well, to be true, but god, he's somethin' else. He doesn't feel like any other boy I know. He's... not stupid.\"\n\n\"Honey, I think you gotta ask this boy on a date.\"\n\n----------------\n\n\"What are you running from?\"\n\nHe takes their hands in his. \n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"What are you running from? Your thoughts are always so... jumbled. And when they're not, they're so... sad. What's goin' on?\"\n\nThey look down. Shit's going on, that's true, but, it's hard to verbalize feelings most of the time. It's getting dark around the two, wind starting to blow in from the north, bringing the cold front that the weatherman promised. It blows some of that damn curly hair into his eyes. But he persists, tilting their head up to look in their eyes. He doesn't read what they think right now. He could, but that'd ruin it. He wants them to talk to him. He tries *his* damnedest to talk, because he's been in love with them and their mad eyes and weird hair since he saw them, but they're just so damn shy.\n\n\"I've never heard anyone with thoughts like yours. C'mon, if something's wrong, you can tell me.\"\n\nThey sigh.\n\n\"I-I dunno. I guess my parents have just been fightin' an awful lot. My best friend doesn't talk to me anymore,\" sadness is so thick in their voice, \"I guess I just feel like I don't wanna go on anymore.\"\n\nHe nods.\n\nThey sit quietly, just taking in each other, taking in the Toronto autumn, the Toronto night around them. Right when it's about to get dark, the two get up and walk off to the bus stop. Together, they walk onto the bus. Together, they sit. They lean into him, he leans onto them, pressing a kiss onto their forehead. \n\nThey really are in love. Even if they're young and dumb and sweet and naive, they're in love. All 'cause they saw him flinch. ",
"role": "assistant"
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2017-11-13T21:54:53 | 2017-11-13T19:45:25 | 18 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] One day in class you decide to scream something in your head to catch mind readers. As you do, you see your crush flinch",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ugh, I fucking hate school. Most people hate school, but I really hate school. Most people get bored, stop paying attention, fall asleep, daydream, or text their friends. There are also those weirdos that focus way too much on each individual aspect of what the teacher says and go into information overload. I guess you could say the same for me. School is most definitely informational overload, because I can hear it all. \n\nFrom the new kid wondering what that white stuff that came out of his \"pee pee\" last night was, to the Asian kid who constantly swaps between thinking about E=MC^2 or some shit and about the beating he'll get if the Indian kid gets a higher score than him again, to even the teacher thinking about the hot lesbian porno she watched last night and whether coming out will cause her to lose her job, I hear it all.\n\nNormally when there's a ton of chatter in a room, you can only distinguish one or two conversations, but all this chatter somehow bypasses that filter and I can understand it all. I don't quite yet understand it. Sometimes it turns off, I don't know why, it just does, and it stays off until I try and listen to someone's thoughts and then it all turns on again. I've often thought of just leaving it off, but a situation where I need to listen to someone's thoughts always comes up.\n\nThere's one person that I love listening to the most. She's silent. I can hear her silence. I often wonder if she's a robot, but then I remember that I can't hear robot's silence. It's eerie, but also really satisfying, and safe. Her name is Julia. I've known her my entire life. We were friends up until I started hearing, mainly because I couldn't keep friends after that. She's pretty quiet in general, but her thoughts, dead silence.\n\nAnyway, school just ends up being 8 hours of me trying not to freak out, which has happened before. I always stay alone when I'm not forced to go to school for that reason. When I was 12, about 3 years after I started hearing, my parents forced me to go to a birthday party, I always disliked them since I started hearing, but this one was different, there were 100's of people there, and my brain just couldn't handle it all, and I just started screaming. The doctors think I have some sort of mental disability. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I am required to go to therapy, which, when you can hear the therapist thinking about how big your dick is, doesn't really work too well.\n\nSince the first outburst I haven't had an outburst since, or at least not an external outburst. If I ever feel like I'm getting to that point, I start screaming internally to mask the noise. It's the only thing that really works.\n\nToday is going to be interesting. I started high school this year, and we have these end of quarter pep rallies. We had them in middle school too but because of my \"mental disability\" I never had to go to them, but because the therapist believes we've made \"progress\" he wants me to go.\n\nAs I approached the gymnasium, I could already start hearing so many voices. When I opened the doors, the room was only half full, if even that, but even that was getting overwhelming, but I wanted to see if I could handle it. I sat down in the corner of the gymnasium, away from everyone else. Slowly, more and more people entered, and the more and more voices I heard. \n\nThen I heard it, the eerie silence. Sure enough, I saw Julia walk through to gymnasium doors. I listened to her intently to see if I could hear anything, but that satisfying silence remained. She started walking to the other side of the gymnasium, but suddenly changed her mind, turned around, and started walking right towards me. I was confused, but she remained silent. She got closer and closer and my mind raced with reasons as to what was going on.\n\nShe sat down right next to me, without a word.\n\n\"Hey Julia. Long time no see.\" I said, sheepishly.\n\n\"Hey.\"\n\nI didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I just remained sitting there, listening to everyone.\n\nSuddenly, the rest of the school seemed to come all at once. People poured through the doors, and all their thoughts were loud and clear. I could feel myself really freaking out, but I resisted. The whole school was in that room, waiting for the pep rally to start. 15 minutes passed, and nothing had happened yet. I could feel my willpower getting weaker and weaker, but I was determined to keep my cool.\n\n\"Man it's taking them a while.\" Julia said, startling me.\n\n\"Uh, yeah. I wonder what's taking them so long.\"\n\nAnother 15 minutes passed until someone finally came up to the microphone and asked for everyone's attention. Phew, a bit of relief as people focused in on the speaker.\n\n\"Attention! Please excuse the wait. We've had a bit of an emergency. There's nothing to worry about, but please remain patient as we sort this out.\"\n\nOh no. I knew what was about to happen. Sure enough everyone at once started thinking about what the emergency was. From \"Did Principal Boucher finally get caught smoking weed?\" to the more anxious \"Are my parents dead!?\", my mind was completely overwhelmed with thoughts.\n\nI couldn't handle it. I screamed, internally.\n\nAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH\n\nI saw Julia next to me jump a bit. Was I screaming externally too?\n\nAHHHHHHHH^HHHHH^HHHH^HHH^HH^H\n\nMy scream left me.\n\nEverything left me.\n\nAll I could hear was silence. Pure bliss. Something I haven't experienced since I was 9 years old.\n\nJulia grabbed my shoulder. I jumped a bit and looked her in the eye, then I heard her, for the first time.\n\n\"You've got a lot to learn.\"",
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{
"content": "[WP] One day in class you decide to scream something in your head to catch mind readers. As you do, you see your crush flinch",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "\"Mr. S?\"\n\n\"Yeah?\"\n\n\"Can I just get something off my chest?\"\n\n\"Sure, kid. 'Course you can.\"\n\n\"Band class is fucking boring when nobody actually tries. You just sit there with your instrument on your lap, staring into fuckin' space, listening to the poor teach' tryna get the attention of the class while everybody just screams. The baritone section is a mess, only one trumpet is decent, and you can't hear the flutes *or* the clarinets. \n\nSo she yells, \"Alright! Alto saxes, come here!\"\n\nSo we do, 'cause four of us aren't dipshits. \n\nAnd then she says, \"Guys, this is Michael. He's in grade eleven, and he's going to tutor you for a few weeks.\"\n\nThis dude, this dude is somethin'.\n\nSo she sends us into a practice room, and we all take a seat, and he gives us a once-over, and I give him a once-over, Christ, Mr. S, you should've seen that dude. His eyes are this perfect almond shape, and they're a perfect coffee-colour. He has this shoulder-length curly hair, but it's *real* soft, and he has a sharp nose and chin and cheekbones. Big lips. He was wearing this oversized sweater, red and brown stripes, and weird jeans, and *weed* socks, but he said that was 'cause the rest of his socks were in the laundry. He had a wrist brace on, and he says it's 'cause he broke his thumb. He has olive-coloured skin, like what Katniss Everdeen was supposed to look like. He's cocky like a fucking asshole, but... There's something more. \n\nPardon the French.\"\n-------------------------\n\n\"Mr. S?\"\n\n\"Talk to me kiddo.\"\n\n\"So I have a huge crush on him. *You* know. Michael. So he's cocky like a fucking asshole, like I said. But, god. I think I'm hopelessly in love. Day 1 of tutoring, he tells me to just play. Said it wasn't good but that I was the best out of all the saxes. \n\nThen, like a week of tutoring, and I was practicing outside of class, and again we're playing, he says I'm the best again. Gosh, I can't tell you how red I got after that, Mr. S. But anyway, yesterday the rest of the saxes just... wandered off? And it was just me and him. And he looked at me. *He looked at me*. But not in a mean way. Just sort of... a way. And told me to play with the metronome, and 'course I didn't 'cause I don't really know how, and when I was done he *laughed*. And then I saw him on the bus home, Mr. S, I saw him, and we made eye contact, and he *laughed* and smiled his stupid dork smile. He has crooked teeth. Real crooked teeth. And we've done it a few times! At Halloween, he dressed up as a soldier, and lemme tell you, he looks damn good in a uniform, and I was Waldo, and we were walking down the hall, and we did the same thing. \n\nMy heart always does that thing where it leaps into my throat, and I get all floaty and I can't breathe. I'm really in love, Mr. S.\"\n\n\"Y'know kiddo, I don't doubt that you are. I really don't.\"\n\n--------------------\n\n\"Mr. S! I think he's psychic?\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"I think he's psychic! So today, it was band, and I was real bored 'cause everyone was being a dipshit again, and I decided to scream in my head, 'cause I wanted to check for psychics. So I screamed, just like 'hey!', and he flinched! Also, we've been Snapchatting each other a lot, *and* he likes *all* my Instagram photos. That really means a lot to us high schoolers ya know. I don't know him all that well, to be true, but god, he's somethin' else. He doesn't feel like any other boy I know. He's... not stupid.\"\n\n\"Honey, I think you gotta ask this boy on a date.\"\n\n----------------\n\n\"What are you running from?\"\n\nHe takes their hands in his. \n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"What are you running from? Your thoughts are always so... jumbled. And when they're not, they're so... sad. What's goin' on?\"\n\nThey look down. Shit's going on, that's true, but, it's hard to verbalize feelings most of the time. It's getting dark around the two, wind starting to blow in from the north, bringing the cold front that the weatherman promised. It blows some of that damn curly hair into his eyes. But he persists, tilting their head up to look in their eyes. He doesn't read what they think right now. He could, but that'd ruin it. He wants them to talk to him. He tries *his* damnedest to talk, because he's been in love with them and their mad eyes and weird hair since he saw them, but they're just so damn shy.\n\n\"I've never heard anyone with thoughts like yours. C'mon, if something's wrong, you can tell me.\"\n\nThey sigh.\n\n\"I-I dunno. I guess my parents have just been fightin' an awful lot. My best friend doesn't talk to me anymore,\" sadness is so thick in their voice, \"I guess I just feel like I don't wanna go on anymore.\"\n\nHe nods.\n\nThey sit quietly, just taking in each other, taking in the Toronto autumn, the Toronto night around them. Right when it's about to get dark, the two get up and walk off to the bus stop. Together, they walk onto the bus. Together, they sit. They lean into him, he leans onto them, pressing a kiss onto their forehead. \n\nThey really are in love. Even if they're young and dumb and sweet and naive, they're in love. All 'cause they saw him flinch. ",
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2017-11-21T07:28:42 | 2017-11-21T07:14:56 | 50 | 21 | [
{
"content": "[WP] In the afterlife each religion has its own walled city in which their god or pantheon protects the believers within from the soul-gnawing horrors outside, while atheists are left on their own\n\nShoutout to u/Tonkarz who had the [idea](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7eao4f/exreligious_people_of_reddit_what_was_the_tipping/dq4b4y6/).",
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"content": "\"Welcome to the afterlife.\"\n\nMartin looked around, from the overcast and grey clouds to the flat and slightly beige ground. He couldn't see anyone except the elderly lady who had greeted him. She seemed bored.\n\n\"Where am I?\" he asked.\n\n\"Since you ended out here, with us non-believers, you're in the atheist afterlife.\"\n\n\"So there is an afterlife,\" Martin thought to himself. \"Shouldn't I end up in some kind of heaven or hell, based on my non-belief?\"\n\n\"No, only the true believers live with their god or gods. You, you are on your own.\" \n\n\"Shouldn't it at least be more than just grey clouds and featureless ground?\" Martin asked.\n\n\"It is what you make it,\" the lady said. Then she disappeared, with nothing noting that she was there before.\n\nMartin stared at the spot the lady just had stood, stunned and confused. Martin had never thought much about the afterlife, and now that he was here, he felt lost. His life ending and being nothing was what he had expected, not this featureless nothing in which HE was still alive.\n\nHe stood there for what felt like days, paralyzed with an angst greater than he ever had experienced when thinking of death. Now he had... eternity and no purpose. He tried hurting himself, to feel something other than panic and a deep loneliness, but he felt nothing. He tried running, but he found nothing. He tried yelling, but he didn't even hear an echo. He felt like crying, but no tears came out.\n\nHe didn't get tired, hungry or hurt. It was only him, his panicked mind, and a featureless expanse. For eternity.\n\n___\n\nAfter what had felt like an eternity to Martin, he heard something behind him - a crunch of sand, which was strange, since the dirt had never given a sound when he trod it. He spun around, afraid, but also thrilled to at last see *something*.\n\nIt was a woman, enjoying the sunset while walking along a beach. She seemed surprised to see him, but also welcoming.\n\n\"Why is there a beach there?\" Martin asked feverishly.\n\n\"I wanted a beach to be there,\" the woman answered. \"I always liked seeing a sunset on a beach.\"\n\nMartin started following her, while she strolled along the beach. The sand, waves and the cloudless sky followed her, as did the sun.\n\n\"How?\" Martin asked. \"Are you a god?\"\n\nShe laughed at him then, a pearly and happy thing. \"No, I'm as mortal as you are\"\n\n\"How can you do this,\" Martin asked, enraptured by her power and the beauty she created.\n\n\"When you have no god, you are the master of your own life.\"",
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{
"content": "[WP] In the afterlife each religion has its own walled city in which their god or pantheon protects the believers within from the soul-gnawing horrors outside, while atheists are left on their own\n\nShoutout to u/Tonkarz who had the [idea](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7eao4f/exreligious_people_of_reddit_what_was_the_tipping/dq4b4y6/).",
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"content": "I rest atop the verdant knoll in Elysium, right by our border. Our people come up here sometimes when they need to feel again. A constant drunken orgasm can numb you and make the high seem low. You can make the highs even higher if you muster the courage to stand near the wall--peer into the mist. It reminds us of our mortal bravery, of our escape from Hades' clutches. \n\nToday marks the anniversary of my arrival here, it's been 2300 years. Every year I still try to watch the crossing of souls, and each year there are less and less souls crossing into our land and more being shut out. I've climbed up the knoll today, hoping to reset my self to enjoy pleasures with renewed vigor. Sitting under the shade of a cedar pergola nestled at the top of the knoll, strung with grape vines, I pluck a plump purple globe from the tendrils strewn beside my couch. I pop the grape into my mouth and break the red skin; sweet, tart juice and flesh spilling onto my tongue. As I reach for another grape, I hear a soul-gnawing scream just over the wall, the sound of a voice shredding, of a skull breaking. Standing up, I tread carefully toward the border and glance over the golden wall's razor edge. As I gaze through the mist below me I see an atheos has lost their head, fallen on its stomach, naked and gray, leaking juices from its neck. A hungry hellhound circles the atheos. It notices me. The hellhound sits on its obsidian haunches and points its snarled gleaming snout toward me with a fanged smile, dripping with blood. \n\n\"You think this is real?\"\n\nThe hellhound leaps over the wall and howls, it glides over the border and lands on me, pushing me down under its iridescent paws. I'm on my back, gold dripping from a gash in my head. The hellhound opens it's jaw, revealing an infinite darkness, and I see my reflection. In this dark reflection my face is blank, featureless, skin covers my eyes, nose and mouth.\n\n\"The atheos have arrived in their diamond ships, they arrived with the others like they normally would each year,\" the reflection is speaking into my mind, \"they've found the gate through Hades, they have come with weapons of light and fire to take Elysium. There are other lands in this world, beyond the mist, and they are falling.\"\n\nThe hellhound closes it's mouth and I can't feel my body, my vision is sharper and I'm so hungry. I need to eat. I need to kill. I sit down on my obsidian haunches and howl. I am renewed.\n\n",
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] |
2017-11-24T19:30:03 | 2017-11-24T16:57:54 | 17 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] It finally happened. The day Santa dreaded. He has to deliver presents to the first kid to be born on mars.",
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{
"content": "“Frank! Get in here now!” shouted Santa from his office. \n\nIn scurried a small elf. He traveled as fast as his tiny legs could take him without tripping over his giant shoes. Bells jingling with every step. \n\n“Yes sir, what do you need” Frank mustered. \n\n“What is this shit?” Santa said as he tossed an ornate scroll across his desk. He then took a long drag of his cigarette as he waited for Frank to answer. \n\n“It looks like this year’s work order sir.”\n\n“I know that dipshit,” Santa shouted “Line four thousand?”\n\n“Says right here sir that we have 1 human child age 3 months. Name Alexander Aldrin. Status is Nice and Location is 2 First Colony Avenue, Colony 1. Mars.”\n\nFrank stopped there and looked at Santa. He was not sure what the problem was exactly but he knew that he wanted to avoid being in as much trouble as possible. \n\n“Is this some sort of joke Frank? It is one month before Christmas I don’t have any time for the jokes from you and Carl from accounting.”\n\n“I know nothing of a joke sir. I can have Sherry in audits look it over and get back to you. “Frank paused then spoke into his radio briefly. \n\nAs this was coming on Santa took a large bottle of Scotch from under his desk and began to poor himself a glass. Het then took another cigarette from the pack and lit it with a novelty Rudolph lighter where the flame comes from the nose.\n\n“Sir, it looks like it is all correct letter was received electronically last week and was processed through our batch processing facility.” Frank looked up towards Santa for confirmation.\n\nSanta took a long drag of his cigarette. \n\n“Frank write this down. I need you to call my wife tell her I won’t be home tonight. I need Jeff and Tom from maintenance. Big Carl from engineering. Make sure it is Big Carl and not that other jack off. We need a white board and an empty conference room.”\n\nFrank furiously took notes. \n\n“Oh and Frank, one more thing. Get in touch with Blitzen and see if he can score use some snow to get us through the night.”\n",
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{
"content": "[WP] It finally happened. The day Santa dreaded. He has to deliver presents to the first kid to be born on mars.",
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"content": "All right you little fucking assholes! Who hid my bourbon stash again?\"\n\nSanta was drunk again. He always loved the bottle, sometimes more than his wife. But his drinking problem became more severe with every year. Every year he had to deliver more presents to more children. And this stress paired with alcohol turned him into a unbearable mad asshole.\n\n\"B..but you just drank the last bottle. We don't have anything left!\"\n\n\"Bullshit! There were 2 bottles left before I drank this one!\"\n\n\"Sir, why are you drunk already? Its only 9 am.\"\n\n\"You know exactly why I'm drunk you little piece of shit! I have to deliver a motherfucking present to the motherfucking Mars! As if delivering toys to these little fuckers on Earth haven't been enough already!\"\n\nSanta threw the bottle against the wall. The elves barely dodged before the shattering glass hit them.\n\nThe elves were now scared shitless. Santa was unpredictable now. Especially after he hit the crack pipe the whole morning. Finally one of them dared to speak again.\n\n\"S..s..s..sir, your sleigh is ready. We have modified it so you and your reindeers can survive in space.\"\n\n\"Good. At least you are good for something, other than having a tight asshole. Now bring me my spacesuit and ready the present!\"\n\n\"No!\"\n\nTimmy stepped forward. He was always the bravest of all elves.\n\n\"We will not do this! In the last years you have become more and more uncontrollable. We have been following and supporting you for decades. But what you are trying to do now is just wrong. We can't support a madman like you any longer! We...\"\n\nSanta punched Timmy in the face before he could react. He then threw him out of the window. Timmy fell down 50m, screaming before he splashed on the ground.\n\n\"Anyone else having a opinion?\"\n\nOf course nobody else dared to talk anymore.\n\n\"Now I will take care that I will never have to deliver any presents to this giant red shithole anymore.\"\n\nThe elves finished loading the present in the sleigh and Santa sat down in it.\n\n\"That little shit better hide, because there is a fat man coming for him! And he is going to go full Hiroshima and Nagasaki on his little ass! Ho ho ho motherfuckers!\"",
"role": "assistant"
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2017-12-20T13:14:42 | 2017-12-20T12:19:43 | 21 | 13 | [
{
"content": "[WP] A voice in your head has been giving you life-changing advice for many years, but today they accidentally left the mic on.",
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{
"content": "Schizophrenia, they said. Auditory hallucinations. Not real. Not. Bloody. Real. Well, what do they know. They’re just doctors. They can’t hear the voice.\n\n“You’re right, you’re not schizophrenic. But cut them some slack, it’s got to be difficult for them to understand. It’s pretty unique, man.”\n\nYeah, he’s right. As always. The voice, the mysterious little man behind my eyes and in my ears, is usually right (except about spicy food, he was very wrong about that). He’s been my constant companion for about 10 years now, ever since that incident with the-\n\n“Don’t think about it pal. Not before bed. Just try get some shut eye.”\n\nRight again. Well why not. It’s been a long day, might as well sleep it off.\n\n“Tomorrow’s a new day!”\n\nHa, hopefully. Would be a bit confusing if it wasn’t, right?\n\n“Right you are buddy. Night!”\n\nNight. And… darkness. Eyes closed. But no sleep. The appointment with the doctors obviously really rattled me, more than the voice thinks, more than I thought. What made me go? Me and the voice have been getting on more than fine for a decade. Ever since the… thing… my life has gone much better than anyone expected. He’s been there, he’s helped, more than anyone else could. I shouldn’t have mentioned him. Then no-one would have made me go see the doctor. Shouldn’t have-\n\n“Poor bastard.”\n\nWait…. What?\n\n“I wish I could do something, y’know? He’s got so much potential. But what can I do? I’m just the voice in his head. I’m not even real. Everyone knows that but him. What? Yeah, I know. I do what I can. But… I don’t know. I just feel like I could do more.”\n\nOh god, oh god, oh god. Who’s he talking to? This is new. He’s only ever spoken to me, and it’s always been so positive. So… why’s he being so down? Wait… does he agree with the doctors? Am I mad? Oh god, he thinks I’m mad. Shit.\n\n“Shit.”\n\nAnd now he’s heard me panicking.\n\n“Dude, I’m sorry. I’m… oh, god… let me just explain.”\n\nThat… may be difficult.\n\n“Yeah, it might. Look, I’ll square with you. Yeah, I’m not real. But that doesn’t have to mean anything, right?\n You’re doing so well, man. Just… let’s just sleep. Talk about it tomorrow?”\n\nWell, how the hell am I supposed to sleep now? I’m having an argument with a mental illness! That I didn’t know I had!\n\n\n\n*Edit* just to say go easy on me! First time I've posted in this sub (and I've had a couple drinks). But hope it lives up to the very high standards I've seen in this sub :)",
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{
"content": "[WP] A voice in your head has been giving you life-changing advice for many years, but today they accidentally left the mic on.",
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{
"content": "Ive known Steve since as long as i can remember. He was there when I asked my first date out, when I won the tennis league, when I passed the entrance exam to university. A voice in my head giving me advice, helping me out on tough times and teaching me everything I needed to know. Sometimes I like to think Steve was the past me, before the tragic accident that left me without any memories of who I used to be, helping me do the things he never had time to finish.\n\nIt was with Steves help I had managed to enroll in the best university available and it was because of him that my life was going splendidly. Every time I encountered a difficult choice Steve would be there to steer me towards the truth. Most of the time, however, he was silent, helping only when absolutely necessary.\n\nFor this reason I found it strange when Steve suddenly started to talk while I was eating breakfast. Suprised, I remained silent and waited for him to explain. \"Any events of importance today?\" He asked nonchalantly. I was about to awnser when I heard another voice speaking inside my head \"Subject-35E has a physics exam at 5 and a date at 2, you are to aid him in both of these according to the standard procedure, the exam grade should be around his standard, a low A, and the date should go well, but no more than second base.\" \n\nMy fork clattered to the floor as I sat paralised in my seat, I had never heard anyone aside from Steve in my head. I tried to wrap my head around what Id just heard, but that only gave me more questions, who was this other person? Subject-35E? Was Steve just my imagination, as i had always believed, or was there something else happening in my head? My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the voice that had awnsered Steve.\n\n\"Subject-35E seemes to be acting strangely, nothing within the range of predictions calculated by the computer. Confront him and find out what is the matter\". There was a slight pause in my head, and then I heard Steve asking \"Whats wrong? Is there anything you need help with?\" Slowly, I asked him the question I had in my mind, dreading the awnser to it, \"Steve, who is it that person speaking in my head?\", after a slight pause Steve said \"Do you mean me? I dont really understand the question, be more specific\". He tried to sound unconcerned but I could hear the fear in his voice. \"I mean who where you just speaking to? Who is Subject-35E? Why are you taking order on how to help me?\". A long pause followed, then i heard Steve sigh with frustration and say \"Subject-35E has become aware, begin mind wipe procedure\" \"mind-wipe?! What the hell are you talking about-\" Suddenly, realization came me and I slowly asked \"Steve... How many times have I been mind-wiped?\" I began to feel a tingling sensation in the back of my head and as the world started to go black the last thing I heard was Steve saying \"too many, Steve, too many...\".",
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2018-01-31T19:23:08 | 2018-01-31T17:24:17 | 16 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] The year is 2134. The human race, now almost entirely atheist, makes first contact with alien life and are greeted as the creatures created in God's image.",
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"content": "\nHumanity has always been lonely. Looking, reaching, dreaming, striving for stars we might never reach. We never knew why. Perhaps it was simply some strange, unexplained compulsion pulling our eyes upward. Perhaps it was mere stubbornness which put the fire in our veins, and strength in weary arms. Perhaps all of it, from our solitude to our curiosity, to our very physical appearance was a coincidence. \n\nAccording to the aliens, it was not. \n\n'Made in God's image'. Words puzzled over, pored over, picked apart until interpretations abounded, and no mere man could hope to keep them straight. Words despaired over, dreamed over, driven until they were drivel, with no more discernable meaning than waves on the sand. \n\nEventually, forgotten. Set aside, in favor of our new logic, with its sharp and bitter edges, and a world far larger than we could ever imagine; simultaneously too small for the one thing we could imagine, have imagined, perhaps, will always imagine: a Creator. Or, to some, we did not abandon our Creator. It was our Creator who abandoned us, leaving us to the tender mercies of a far too cruel world. \n\nMade in the image of God.\n\nThe words, foreign in that twisted alien tounge. Assumed to be an error, a miscalculation. We spoke with the creatures. We spoke of their world, we spoke of ours. We spoke of space, glorious space. We spoke of danger, and beauty. When we had spoken until there was little left to speak of, we asked again. \n\n\"What do you call us?\"\n\n\"The Children of God.\"\n\nTo them, the question was simple. To us, anything but. How were we to learn? Who were we to tell? What celestial legacy are we to uphold? \n\nMade in the image of God.\n\nBittersweet.",
"role": "assistant"
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{
"content": "[WP] The year is 2134. The human race, now almost entirely atheist, makes first contact with alien life and are greeted as the creatures created in God's image.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“Unidentified craft approaching sir” Jefferson rapped away on his keyboard as he addressed the captain. \n“Hail them.” Captain Barbas ordered. \nWe hailed them on all frequencies, only one response. \n\nStatic. \n\nThe vessel continued its current vector, we primed our shields and readied our weapons. \n“Should we fire sir?”\n“No, wait for them to fire.”\nThe vessel slowed its approach and prepared docking arms. Jefferson reaches to fire, but Barbas waved at him, implying to wait. The docking arms begin to glow, as we get pulled in by the electromagnetism. No human ship uses electromagnetism for their docking arms. \nBarbas left the cockpit, and into the airlock. \n\n\n\nThe lock opened as the ship’s docking passage locked in place. Walking through the door, Barbas was greeted by a strange figure, it was large. Too large to fit through the passage. It hunched over to look in, and when it saw Barbas it reeled. It lurched into the wall behind it, seemingly scared. It pointed out with its large fingers, which it only had 3 of. \n“You are... God himself showed us of this event. We would meet his perfect creation, and it would accept us...”\nThe creature spoke in a raspy tongue, with rough English, but surprisingly it spoke English. Barbas, clearly just as surprised spoke back.\n“You speak English? What?!”\n“God himself has lived among us for years, caring for and protecting us. He said that we would meet you soon, and we should speak the language. So he taught it to us.”\nBarbas stepped into the ship, and saw more creatures similar to the one who spoke. They were all staring. One grabbed his arm and said \n“Barbas, please wake up!”\nIt was the voice of his wife. As he peeled open his eyes he saw the sky on fire, and a collapsed floor. He looked down and saw his legs. \n4 feet from his torso. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2018-03-11T07:49:38 | 2018-03-11T07:26:50 | 4,830 | 78 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are born with two names tatooed on you body somewhere, one of your soulmate and one of the people that will eventually kill you. There is no way to tell who is who.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The doctor held up the new born baby.\n\"It's a girl!\" exclamed the doctor.\n\"Well, What are the names doc?\" the father said with joy.\nThe doctor looked at the baby's back, and only one name on it. James Webber. Chills shot down the doctors spine.\n\"Well Dr. Webber, who are they?\n\n\n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are born with two names tatooed on you body somewhere, one of your soulmate and one of the people that will eventually kill you. There is no way to tell who is who.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“John Smith. And fuckin.... John Smith. WHAT THE FUCK!” Andrea yelled, looking at her friends arm. \n“I know right. Stupid.” Tally remarked. She’d had this reaction before. \n“So ya gotta find two John Smith’s?”\n“I hope so.” \n“What do you mean?”\n“Maybe I only need to find one.” ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2018-03-12T17:05:40 | 2018-03-12T16:53:52 | 3,717 | 882 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Suddenly the whole world hears a voice from the sky: Hi guys, God here. I'm being promoted to the Andromeda galaxy and I'm here to introduce my replacement, Bob this is earth, earth this is Bob. Have fun, pleasure to meet you all!!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their heads up to the sky. Had they heard correctly, God was leaving and left some man named Bob in charge? People in the cities looked out their windows, and stepped out of their cars looking upward for more answers. Meanwhile, in the Vatican, Pope Francis and his cardinals were discussing what implications this news might mean. Elsewhere still, the Grand Seer of the Church of the Apocalyptic Holy Trinity, looked upon his flock and reasoned, now would be a good as any time to bring out the Kool-aid.\n\nAs the people of the world waited for news from this Bob, many began to fear and question all of reality. As Joshua McCabe picked up a brick in rage, as Nikolai Kaparov was stepping off the ledge of his building in fear, and as Pablo Gutierrez reached for the bottle of booze that would drown him, a gentle caring voice boomed from the heavens.\n\n\"Hello I'm Bob Ross. I'm grateful to be welcomed into all your lives. This is a first for me, but I want to thank you all for allowing me the opportunity to be God's replacement. I never imagined this would happen, but there are no mistakes, just happy accidents.\"\n\nAnd thus the world was good, and calmed. The sky turned a brilliant shade of Phallo Blue with clouds of Titanium White.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Suddenly the whole world hears a voice from the sky: Hi guys, God here. I'm being promoted to the Andromeda galaxy and I'm here to introduce my replacement, Bob this is earth, earth this is Bob. Have fun, pleasure to meet you all!!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"And so as I was saying you have to keep the water warm or the eggs won't hatch.\"\n\n\"Got it. So I'm just supposed to keep swinging it around for the next 7 billion years?\"\n\n\"Yes well, Gravity does most of the work; you just have to make sure the sun stays on. Also, just my advice, but throw a meteor or two every once in a while- keeps things interesting.\"\n\n\"And what about the sky?\"\n\n\"Already vaulted.\"\n\n\"And the seas?\"\n\n\"Already parted.\"\n\n\"Well sounds like everything's already in order. Truth be told I'm a little apprehensive to be taking over for you God. I'm not sure I'm creator material.\"\n\n\"Well don't be, the place practically runs itself. Plus if things get real hairy you can flood the fucker and start over.\"\n\n\"I wouldn't want to do that.\"\n\n\"Not saying you have to, just that you can. Winging it is an important part of being God. Anyways I should really get going if I wanna make my flight.\"\n\n\"Oh sure, and again, congratulations on your promotion.\"\n\n\"Thanks Bob.\"\n\n\"Mind if I ask you one last question?\"\n\n\"Sure thing kiddo, but keep it quick.\"\n\n\"Can I bring the dinosaurs back?\"\n\n\"You lovable scamp you... what the hell, special occasion.\"\n\n\"Oh and one more thing.\"\n\n\"Yes of course Bob.\"\n\n\"The humans. What do they do?\"\n\n\"They get malaria.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2018-11-04T06:17:21 | 2018-11-04T06:08:13 | 104 | 28 | [
{
"content": "[WP] FTL travel is actually possible. However, when humanity sends out our first FTL spacecraft, we discover the terrifying reason why nothing, not even light, dares go past that cosmic speed limit.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(Written on mobile. Sorry for bad formatting)\n\nThey told us. Whispers in the night, the morbid stories of the cosmos deemed it forbidden. Humanity, in our self-destructive search for knowledge, chose to pursue the one thing we should have never dared to attempt. \n\nJakob Lattimer sat at his desk, pouring over his formulas and running calculations. “Hmm, yes. No, damn it! Run the formula again, but replace variables Αω and Χζ.” He muttered to himself as he piously labored over his computer, trying to find the solution to the problem taxing his mind. With an audible whirr, the computer fans began to blow faster. “God, yes! Thank you!”, a sigh of relief escaping from Lattimer’s drowsy lips. He did it. All the people that had studied the question and said that it would never happen, that infinite energy would be required to approach the speed of light and beyond, all the geniuses of the 20th and 21st centuries said it was impossible. And yet here he sat with the answer. As he began writing an important email, however, his room groaned and sighed softly, as if there was a presence in the room. Almost imperceptible, leaning against the fabric that binds. \n\nLater that year, Jakob Lattimer’s findings would be published, and he would be regaled as the next Einstein. The man who conquered faster than light travel. The formula was a conundrum of cosmology, nobody had come close to solving it. Writing it off as impossible, and that modern science’s efforts should be focused elsewhere. But Lattimer did it. \n\nThe Sovereign Rulers issued a proclamation, that any volunteers willing to risk life and limb for knowledge would be vastly rewarded. “Should they make it back alive, any knowledge gleaned from them would be suffice for the undertaker to receive... compensation.” Many would apply for the quest to know, as insight was valuable. If they were to know, would they be of value as well?\n\nAnd so they sent four sorry bastards into the long night. The take-off was standard, and within seconds they were past Mars. The edges of vision became blurred as Lattimer, the Sovereign Rulers, and the rest of the mortal coil watched humanity do the impossible. They disappeared from sight as they approached infinity. And so the world would wait.\n\nIf only they had listened.\n\nBlinding slime and ghastly visions of folds on folds on folds of flesh and saliva. Writhing masses that shan’t be seen by mortal eyes or written thoughts. Unknowable. Maddening. Forbidden knowledge etched on eyes lining the brain, as if to grant insight to the cosmos beyond comprehension of mere mortals. And the sorry bastards were privy to it all. All but one would die, smoldering and ashen lumps with fried corneas, laying silent and sorrowful. The last bastard was pitiful. His eyes were filled with clouds and his thoughts were no longer his. His brain given eyes that were scarred by visions of incomprehensible things. As the ship took him back he rambled. Drooled. Screamed the name that was no longer his to bear. Wrote in an alien dialect and professed his nihilism upon the world. Speaking of light’s fearful nature and the black. The ship would appear in the atmosphere of Earth almost as quick as it had disappeared, and land with a grinding thump. \n\nThere was a grayish-green mist hanging about the ship. Humanity’s space exploration organizations were baffled by the thing. The sole survivor was sent to treatment and eventually to asylum once they had learned all they could from the ship and corpses. The world was in shock, and Lattimer would be coldly disowned by both the Rulers and the public eye. But it was too late. The veil had been pierced, and nightmares that grew outside of the light would enter, vapid yet substantial, transparent yet opaque. Humanity’s quest for knowledge would be complete. Eldritch truth hidden from inquisitive eyes would blind us all. And we are to blame. Eyes.. Eyes.. Sa’tae Tq’an Sulpit. \n\nFirst go at horror, how did I do! Open to feedback.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] FTL travel is actually possible. However, when humanity sends out our first FTL spacecraft, we discover the terrifying reason why nothing, not even light, dares go past that cosmic speed limit.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“There’s a reason why you never use faster than light travel.” The creature calling itself Kcbzrzx says to me in a voice that’s equal parts nails on a chalkboard and nails on a wet chunk of glass. \n\n“And why is that?” I put my hands on my side and tap my foot impatiently. If Kcbzrzx doesn’t understand the universal signal of ‘I’m in a hurry’ then that’s his problem. You don’t travel faster than the speed of light because you have all the time in the world.\n\n“Those who travel faster than the speed of light have the potential to open up a dimensional rift.” The condescension from Kcbzrzx is so heavy that I’m more impressed than offended. From what we know of the universe, humans are the only species to have invented that particular feeling. To have an alien put on a such a display of superiority is almost worth getting pulled over.\n\n“Please, Kcbzrzx. This isn’t some episode of Stargate. We know what we’re doing, we’ve been travelling for years at ‘3L’.” I wave a dismissive hand at him like I would a child claiming it’s bad luck to break a mirror, or the laws of physics.\n\nKcbzrzx grumbles something under his… well, not breath as he doesn’t seem to breathe. But he does grumble something, and rest assured it’s a grumble from under somwhere, if not breath. “Fine,” He says. “The real reason. By travelling faster than the speed of light, you are essentially declaring a race. A race that has implications that you have no understanding of.” \n\n*Oh this guy’s good.* For a second I almost believe him. Humoring him, I ask, “A race with who?”\n\nKcbzrzx raises several eyebrows. “Not who. What.” He points a finger outside of the ship, past the glass windows. “See, it’s already starting.”\n\nChuckling, I walk over to the window and peer out. Trailing the ship I see thousands of jagged lines of light. *Just some starlight*, I think. *That’s all that is. Funny, it should show up now, five years into our voyage.*\n\n“So what?” I say. \n\nNot only do alien races have translators for speech, but many have them for facial and body language. A smile doesn’t mean the same thing in Flargon as it does in Shmloogar as it does in Human. The look Kcbzrzx gives me needs no translation. It’s a look I’ve gotten from each of my four ex-wives. It’s the look I got when I once tried returning a rental car with half of the hood missing. From Kcbzrzx, it’s like hearing swear words in a foreign language; you don’t know exactly what they’re saying, but you get the gist.\n\n“You meddle with things far outside your comprehension, endanger the entire universe, and your reaction is: ‘So what?’” Kcbzrzx looks as if he’s about to explode. This isn’t a figure of speech, some alien races physically blow up when pushed to a certain limit. \n\nI take a step back.\n\n“It’s just some distorted starlight. What’s the big deal, K?” I hope giving him a nickname will soften our dialogue, or at least throw him off his feet.\n\nKcbzrzx shakes his head. Which, I haven’t mentioned this yet, it’s his entire body. Well most of his body is his head. It didn’t seem like an important detail at first, but then he started shaking… so, there you go. His head is his body, and he’s shaking it at me.\n\n“It’s not distorted starlight, human. It is light. All light. By going faster than light, you have challenged it to a race.”\n\nI look back out the window. The trailing lights seem to have gotten closer. *Could this guy be right? Did we really just challenge a stinking bunch of photons into some kind of trillionK?*\n\n“What happens if we lose?” I ask.\n\nKcbzrzx glares at me, his eyes narrowing. “No more light… ever.”\n\n&nbsp;\n\n----------\n\n&nbsp;\n\n6,476 / 50,000 Words of NaNoWriMo short story goal. ",
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}
] |
2018-11-04T08:42:02 | 2018-11-04T06:51:56 | 33 | 21 | [
{
"content": "[WP] FTL travel is actually possible. However, when humanity sends out our first FTL spacecraft, we discover the terrifying reason why nothing, not even light, dares go past that cosmic speed limit.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I hope this isn't too technical to be fun.\n\nFaster than light\n\nHe was sitting in his cockpit, alone. Besides the components being built by subcontractors, to his specs, all of this had been a one man run. He was unwilling to share even an iota of glory for this achievement, and wealth hath its privileges. It wasn't really money he cared about, he had inherited. His great grandfather had made the first few billions with an Internet startup, his gramps had multiplied that a hundredfold with his self-sufficient Hyperdome on Mars, his father multiplied it again by mining asteroids. They had all been engineers, but he was the first to not care about money. In the end, he mused, he might outdo them all with exclusive access to Alpha Centauri. \n\nSo there he was, sitting in the modified cockpit of a modified Mars ferry, sweating bullets, about to push the button. He was certain the first part was going to work. He had gotten his PhD in physics with that thesis. A \"reactionless\" drive, best described as a field acting as a sail to catch neutrinos. What he managed to hide with his thesis, what he was betting his future on, was that it wasn't really reactionless. The neutrinos would decay in an unique, never before seen way: they would split into a chroniton, relating to time as the Higgs Boson does to mass, and a tachyon, traveling faster than light. He planned for a second field to trap these and take him along with them.\n\nAs he pushed the button and started the process, he thought vindictively about his thesis advisor, how he had shot the idea down: \"The speed of light is the speed of time, it is the speed at which the future is born. There is no way to go faster, because there is nowhere to go.\" And here he was, about to prove them all wrong. He pressed the button, and the stars shifted blue.\n\nFive minutes later, he passed the speed of light. Going faster than a truck on the highway makes it seem like the truck is going backwards, and he had become faster than the speed of time. As the future unfolds, countless possibilities open. As he passed time by, countless possibilities closed. Five minutes after breaking the light barrier, the option to turn the fields off again collapsed into nonexistence. As more time passed him by, he kept picking up anti-speed, and possible routes to take became ever more scarce. About an hour later, by his reckoning, still not understanding what was happening, he reached the Point. The only possibility left. Him, and every other ship to ever go faster than light in the entire Universe reached the same place at the same time, and crashed into eachother in Planck time with a Bang. The Big one.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] FTL travel is actually possible. However, when humanity sends out our first FTL spacecraft, we discover the terrifying reason why nothing, not even light, dares go past that cosmic speed limit.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "When the universe gives you a limit, it’s probably there for a reason. It’d be best to follow it. \n\nI wish we had. \n\nIt’s too late to change that now though. It’s just us and our mistake. I’ve had more than enough time to think about it - about what I’d do differently next time - but I can’t change that now. No one can. I only can watch it unfolding in front of me. Life’s a joke and I’m the punchline. \n\nWhen we built the ship we applauded ourselves. It was all sleek metal flushed with whirling electricity. I could feel the static in the air the first time I stood in the foyer. My arm air floated up lightly. \n\nThere was an AI system, at one point. They shut it down before takeoff. \n\nNo, they shut it down *to take off*. The AI refused to take us faster than light. She warned us that it would bring only pain. \n\nIn frustration, we wiped her system clean and pushed the landing back a week and left anyways. She told us we shouldn’t. We did. Life’s a joke and we’re the punchline. \n\nThere were ten of us, all buckled into those high-tech seats. The ship pushed forward as the captain gave the order. \n\nOur lives melted away before our eyes. I think it did, at least. I couldn’t see the other nine. \n\nTime doesn’t exist outside of time. \n\nA simple fact we ignored. \n\nEverything happened and nothing happened all at the same time. \n\nI could see my life spread out in front of me. I was a kid, scraping my knees against the gravel path behind my grandma’s house. My mom scooped me up and I was a toddler, screaming in defiance as she tried to wrap me in a black peacoat. I wore a black peacoat as I stood by my sister’s coffin, barely out of my teens. When I got home, my legs buckled before the toilet and vomit rose in my throat. When I hit the ground, I fell on the gravel path behind my grandma’s once again. \n\nAnd over and over.\n\nMy life looped together. All the connections I hadn’t seen - *couldn’t* have seen - rolled before my eyes. I lived my life a thousand times, a million times, not at all. \n\nAnd then time spat us out on the other side. A distant outpost on Pluto. We were all still buckled in those high-tech seats less than a second from when we left earth. No one spoke. The chatter came through the coms and still, we sat there, not moving. \n\nWe couldn’t go back. We all knew that without saying anything. We could never pretend everything was fine again. I knew that my life was a joke and I was the punchline. \n\nIt wasn’t funny anymore. \n\n\n---\n\n/r/liswrites",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2018-11-05T20:03:44 | 2018-11-05T19:52:58 | 794 | 136 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You instinctively know everyone's name the second you meet them. One day you thank someone at the supermarket for helping you, and they stare at you wide eyed. \"Nobody has called me by that name in centuries\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The building began to shake. The produce the man shelved fell onto the floor and he stepped on it as he began to walk towards me.\n\n\"It's a shame, I have found enjoyment being among you humans for the past 500 years. I guess that I must relocate again.\"\n\n\"Wait, what? I didn't mean to say Dracula, why would I say Dracula? Mr. Dracula.\" I fell to the floor and covered my mouth.\n\n\"Look you can't even stop yourself, you discover who I am then confront me so boldly, the fall to the floor and piss yourself\".\n\nI looked down and saw my own shame mix with the berry juice beneath his feet.\n\n\"It's really not like that Mr. Dracula, you see since I was young I've been able to know people's names just from looking at them and recently it's gotten really bad, I can only call people by there names. You see my gift has turned... turned into a curse.\"\n\nThe building stopped shaking. The patrons continued to stare at us. I could smell my piss and Dracula rolled his eyes. \n\n\"Fine, look get up... my wife will be here in two hours to pick me up, you're coming with. Go sit in the employee lounge. I have a change of clothes in there... they should fit you. Throw your pissed stained underwear away before you put on my good jeans.\"\n\nHe looked down at his feet, then at me. His nose then wrinkled in disgust and he frowned. \n\n\"You know what fuck it.\" He looked at the patrons. \"Everyone vampires are real , I'm Dracula the dumbfuck who pissed himself is probably a second generation elf and none of you are going to remember any of this when he gets two miles away. Don't mind taking any photos of me they won't work. You'll just have a photo of a sad young man on the ground in a puddle of shame and disappointment. \" \n\n\"What do you mean they won't remember?\"\n\n\"When elves shit themselves in fear they release a toxin that wipe human memories. It's how they've survived persecution for the past 5,000 years.\"\n\n\"What I didn't\"........ \"oh\".\n\n\"Change of clothes in the break room\"\n\n\"Thank you mr. Dracula\"\n",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You instinctively know everyone's name the second you meet them. One day you thank someone at the supermarket for helping you, and they stare at you wide eyed. \"Nobody has called me by that name in centuries\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"What have you been doing all these years?\" You try to go along with it, you are desperate to know more about this lady. \n\n\"Well, I'm on my third life and recently, I've just trying to be normal. Do the everyday average person activities: go to work, hang out with the kids, go to the supermarket.\"\n\n\"And the first two?\"\n\n\"The first time around I tried to be someone important. I tried to be useful to my community. I tried to improve the world. But, that got sad, really sad. And then I terminated that attempt. \n\nAfter that, I decided to not feel obligated to anyone. I chose to live however I wanted. I learned a lot and it was really a good life. I couldn't understand how people were content with living unhappy lives, I wanted to understand other people's choices. So this time around, I'm trying to put myself in their shoes.\" \n\n\"That's very wise,\" you say. \n\n\"But how do you know my name? Are you an old friend who's face I have forgotten? It can be very confusing to recall memories in the haze of multiple lives,\" She questions.\n\n\"No ... Truthfully, I am able to speak anyone's name upon first meeting. I simply know it. It's not that it's a fact I am trying to remember. I just know their names as if I knew them myself.\" \n\nShe freezes. \"Sir, you do not know who you are. I thought that you would, but I suppose you are quite confused since returning to Earth.\"\n\n\"Coming back to Earth? No, I've lived here my whole life.\" \n\nShe smiles softly. \"Yes, you have a human idea of lives, that makes sense since you are in your human morph. You have been on Earth this whole life- technically. But you haven't always been here.\"\n\n\"If that's so then who am I? A god?\" You smirk.\n\n\"Lord, you are our leading chief. You led us to Earth to escape persecution ... And then you disappeared. Where have you been good Master?\" She bows and then falls to one knee for you.\n\nYou try to think, try to remember any detail that could spark a memory, but you cannot. \n\n\"Well, let us go to the remainder of our people.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2019-03-06T08:27:06 | 2019-03-06T08:19:53 | 22 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Theoretically, you can not surpass the speed of light. Humans find out why when we manage to break this rule, as our ships begin to outpace the rendering speed of the universe, and the illusion of all reality is broken as everything around us vanishes the faster we go.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We heard it all around us as our ship leapt out and into the bright purple. It sounded like a vinyl album screeching to a halt. Below, Wilson saw a silver disc projecting light into the darkness of the space we had left. The disc was hovering above a gray soil punctuated by craters skittering across its endless surface. The turbulence of our entry subsided and we realized that we were suspended midair as a man in a white lab coat stood staring up. Lowering to the surface of the soil felt like zooming in rather than descending in a space craft.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Greetings\", said the man as we climbed out of our craft. He wore thick glasses, made his eyes look huge like an insect. He looked middle aged and he reminded me of Groucho Marx if he was playing Albert Einstein in a Terry Gilliam movie.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Hi,\" said Wilson as he put his hand out to the man in the white coat.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"Who are you? What are you?\" I asked as the man in the white coat shifted his clip board to his left hand and shook hands with Wilson.\n\n&#x200B;\n\n\"My name is Phineas P Nozzleworth the third,\" he said, \" but as to the answer of your second question, I suppose I could ask the same to you.\"\n\n&#x200B;\n\nWilson began to vomit and the way his sick spattered onto the soil looked violent, as though sped up by increased gravity.\n\n&#x200B;",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Theoretically, you can not surpass the speed of light. Humans find out why when we manage to break this rule, as our ships begin to outpace the rendering speed of the universe, and the illusion of all reality is broken as everything around us vanishes the faster we go.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "But what is reality? As the universe falters and spits away, I am still here. I do not need air, or love or sunshine, but I am something. \n\nI am threads of atoms and quarks and molecules broken and dangling. I can touch the history of each. I know their point of origin. The origin of everything when the on was pressed.\n\nThere are no wishes left, no mystery. \n\nAnd if I slowed down? And if I pulled back? Will I come together again? Will the illusion of being something specific return? \n\nSo I find that I do somehow and the yoke is in my hand but I no longer compel the ship to move at a speed beyond that which light travels. \n\nMy hand is there. The hand I have used since infancy. Its five nails perfectly trimmed like everything else about this person who broke the light barrier, broke the reality barrier, is perfect because he was, had to be, because the best always were. \n\n\"Commander Kelly, report over.\"\n\nThe sound fills my ears and I both know it as mission command and an illusion. \n\nI decide not to answer. Instead, I sit and stare out beyond the cosmos and turn my mind to the whom that created the illusion in the first place. Is he out there, some kind of God?\n\nI decide I can find him.\n\nI have seen the truth and even buried deep within the lie that is a reality I need to find something to call my own. I press the yoke forward and the ship accelerates on a wave of broken atoms easily finding the place beyond reality, my new home. \n",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-03-21T08:02:28 | 2019-03-21T07:13:39 | 50 | 33 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You're a Homeless veteran, who's been sold as an exotic pet to Aliens by the CIA in exchange for technology. You climb the dark Galatic ladder from the Fighting pits to becoming a Warlord controlling hundreds of systems. One day you decide to return home and exact your revenge with your fleet.",
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},
{
"content": "\"You abandoned me. Not once, but twice. You wouldn't help me when I came back. I fought for you, I bled for you, and God help me, I killed for you. You wouldn't even tell me WHY I had to kill people.\"\n\n\"Yeah, sure. You told me what you told everyone in the country. We were protecting freedom. Protecting it from what? Nobody was trying to take our freedom. Then, when I got back, you abandoned me. I needed help and you wouldn't give it. The VA is a joke, but its not their fault, you just wont give them the help they need either.\"\n\n\"Sorry folks, a \"support our veterans\" sticker only gets you so far, and doesn't help. Sure, it may give you the feel goods, and good for you. I'm glad you can feel good.\"\n\n\"So I had to make it on my own. Unfortunately, I changed. Everything I saw, everything I did, everything I heard, it all just kept playing back in my head. I tried to cope, but it was too much for just me. I drove away the people I loved, I found solace in a bottle. Next thing I knew, I was on the street. It wasn't all bad. I met a lot of people like me. We couldn't really HELP each other, but we could comfort each other.\"\n\n\"Then....when I thought my country couldn't fail me any further, fuck me, you did it AGAIN. Does your hubris know no bounds? You feel like you can just do whatever you want without consequence?\"\n\n\"I was sitting and eating a sandwich that a nice young woman gave me......she had red hair, and a kind smile. A smile that was full of both understanding....and woeful ignorance. You pulled up in your van, and just took me.\"\n\n\"Nobody noticed.\"\n\n\"Again, you wouldn't tell me WHY I \"had\" to do this, just that I was \"Serving the country\". You were abandoning me AGAIN. It has been Ten years since that day. I have seen much, learned more, and fought all. I am here, because I could never abandon YOU.\"\n\n[Please, just help me. That's all I ever wanted](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGKNaIXtBZQ)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You're a Homeless veteran, who's been sold as an exotic pet to Aliens by the CIA in exchange for technology. You climb the dark Galatic ladder from the Fighting pits to becoming a Warlord controlling hundreds of systems. One day you decide to return home and exact your revenge with your fleet.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My name is James Kaur, Corporal of the 15th Modern Dragoons. We were disbanded when the League requested disarmament as a term of our vassalisation. I was traded to Em'shay a Starsun and ambassador to our Cluster.\n\nLife with MC was pleasant, I taught human language and games so he could appear 'cultured' and 'tolerant' to his peers, I was trotted out at parties for such peculiarities as 'Rock Band' which they seemed to not get enough of. Unfortunately I tripped and bumped into the drum set, knocked Rhythm off their beat and ruined the jam. SONG FAILED was the backdrop to my death sentence on the Battle Planet of Choss (probably written wrong but I'm sure you'll forgive alphabet discrepency). \n\nI was to battle until death. Any winnings I earned would be split between injured parties, any repeat sales would subsidise my living quality. I was given a copper piece that I could bet on myself. The custom was called a Gilmmer of Hope. And it was their undoing. For other species, or so I am told, without hope they give up. But for me it was a way out, and sad to say they looked like mythological monsters, and I got to be Hercules.\n\nMy first kill came with a bone fragment as a knife against a slug monster. It cowered, but I didn't hesitate. Kill after kill, blood, fluids and ichor. It was a blur to be honest. Fight #282 was against a human female, we were given a pair of pistols to 're-create a classic Hind-Noob stand-down' we Rock-Paper-Scissored and then both drew anyway. Fight #600 saw me fight a Varisin combat suit, armed with 6 projectile weapons and flight. A well placed rock in the boosters I believe secured a victory.\n\nWith 600 victories I took my funds, bought a team, and invested the rest on a cluster trade deal within 2 cycles I had a fleet, and I have returned to negotiate for the Purchase and Independence of the Milky Way, Cluster 4. Pending documentation I shall respond to the address of 'My Emperor', am requesting the presence of my 15th Modern Dragoons, and ask a simple question...\n\nWhat did people think of the Terran Empire in Star Trek?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-05-29T02:52:03 | 2019-05-29T01:10:28 | 46 | 21 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You have been cursed to always tell the truth. Not because you're unable to say something you know is false, but because once you say it, the universe will rearrange itself to make what you said true.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There was a woman crying in the park on my walk home. I asked her what was wrong. She said her husband had died the day before, dropped dead of a heart attack, right in this very park. \n\n\"How do I go in living?\" she asked me. \"Everyone tells me I'll move on, but I'd rather die than forget him.\" \n\n\"You won't forget him,\" I told her. I couldn't help myself. \"But you will be happy again, and realize he will always live on, in your heart.\" Sigh. So trite. \n\nShe immediately stopped crying. Wiped her eyes and stood. \"You're right,\" she said. As I knew she would. She nodded once and trotted away. \n\nDid I do the right thing? I rationalize that I just pushed the fast forward button, let her get to the end without the painful middle bit. What if she really had tried to kill herself? Still. It feels like cheating. \n\nI've turned this woman into a puppet. Free will goes not exist as long as I live. \n\nNothing can be except that I allow it. I could create a solipsistic universe, reduce everything to Descartes' first principle. \n\nIf I wake up tomorrow and say, \"the only thing that exists is my mind\", what will happen to you, reader?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You have been cursed to always tell the truth. Not because you're unable to say something you know is false, but because once you say it, the universe will rearrange itself to make what you said true.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I lost everyone I loved that day...\n\nJune 18, 2009. I was playing outside when it started to rain. The rain got very strong... I still refused to go inside our house because I was enjoying playing with the water, splashing around.\n\nThen suddenly, while I was splashing on a puddle...\n\nA loud, thunderous noise started ringing in my head. All I could see was light. Though I was only a child, I somehow headed down in Hell, presumably from repeatedly disobeying my parents and lying, as all stubborn kids do.\n\nSatan appeared before me. He knew that I was young, and somewhat smart. His smug face annoyed me, but I knew I could do nothing else now. I went up to him and I begged him to give me a second chance.\n\nTo my surprise, he did. Though, I didn’t know there was a catch. I wake up and I’m back where I am, unscathed. I walk back home, scared it might happen again.\n\nMy mom scolds me as soon as I enter the room. My dad joins in too, and my siblings start picking on me. Though no matter what I say, I couldn’t convince them. In my anger, I said the words that I now dread the most...\n\n***I hope you all just disappear!***\n\nLike a speaker being unplugged, the scolding and the teasing suddenly stopped. They weren’t talking anymore. When I looked back at them, they weren’t there.\n\nDon’t deal with the devil.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-06-04T12:13:24 | 2019-06-04T10:12:37 | 51 | 20 | [
{
"content": "[WP] A genie gives you two options. One is to get your three wishes now, or to get one wish a day for five days. He tells you that no one before has survived and gotten all five wishes. You choose the latter.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The genie nodded down at me. \"You heard me, no one has chosen the five wishes and survived to make all of them.\"\n\n\"Cool, I'm gonna go for the five.\"\n\n\"Are you absolutely certain? Five days is a long time to make it, and a 0% survival rate is pretty low...\"\n\n\"I say yeah, five. It's like the lottery gimmick, trick you into taking the lump sum. Besides, this way I've got time to think up some better wishes because I'm just going to wish myself under a pile of infinite dollar bills or something equally stupid if I try and do them all at once.\"\n\n\"You really sure?\"\n\n\"Shut up and lemme sign the contract.\"\n\nThe genie grumbled and made a few gestures, but I was dead set. And as I signed the contract, the genie cursed under his breath. \"You seem rather unhappy about this arrangement, don't you?\"\n\n\"Well... yes. Of course I am, the only reason I can say nobody's taken the five wishes and survived is because nobody's taken the five wishes after I told them nobody's survived to take all five.\"\n\n\"Nice, guess that means you have to do a full week's worth of work and then think of a better way to get out of it next time.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] A genie gives you two options. One is to get your three wishes now, or to get one wish a day for five days. He tells you that no one before has survived and gotten all five wishes. You choose the latter.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "“Five wishes, I’ve got a good feeling about this.” \n“Are you sure?” The Genie has a concerned expression on his face. \n“Well, let’s see how the first wish goes.” \nAnd I winked. \n—- \n“ I wish for the wisest teacher in my universe to guide the rest of my four wishes each day.” \n“So shall it be.” The Genie intoned. \n—- \n“I wish to understand the separation between reality and consciousness.” \n“Did she tell you to make that number two?” The Genie playfully asked, “So shall it be.” \n—- \nDay 3... \nI really had to think about this one... \nsome good lessons a long the way. Really good ones. Best teacher in the Universe I’d really wanted. Woo. \n“Figure our what you need for your third?” The Genie reminded me. \nIndecision had been most of my day. \nAh, I think I understand. \nI ask. \n“I wish to understand Time in all its beautiful ways.” \nThe Genie regarded me. \n“So shall it be.” \n—- \nDay 4... \nI wake up. \n \n \n \n—- \nMore of my writing can be found at r/counterfiction",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-09-17T08:35:21 | 2019-09-17T07:58:29 | 1,724 | 111 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are an ordinary human going about your day when you suddenly find yourself in hell. Looking down you see yourself standing on some crudely drawn symbols. A nearby demon child holds up some paper and says \"Um...can you help me with my homework?\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I opened the fridge door for some water. God, I was thirsty. Why do I always forget to carry water with me when I come back home from work? I gulped down half a bottle of water and closed the fridge. \n\nAs I walked towards my room, I felt a sharp tug and my stomach felt weird. It was as though I was on a roller coaster. I closed my eyes to collect myself. It must be the dehydration, I thought. I was sweating. I opened my eyes only to find that I was no longer at home. The ambient lights around me were red, orange and shades of yellow. I could smell a rusty odor. Arcane symbols, bones and blood were around me. \"Holy Fuck.\" I exclaimed. \n\n\"You're not supposed to use that word.\" A small being mumbled. He looked humanoid but it was clear that he wasn't an earthly being. \n\n\"You mean the F-word?\" I frowned. Great. I just cussed in front of a child. I tried to walk towards him but for some reason I was wasn't able to move out of the symbols that was drawn below me, on the ground. \n\n\"Um, no. The H-word. It's bad. My parents would beat the crap out of me if they heard me use that.\" He shuddered. I wonder if he actually got beaten up by them. I also noticed that he had a tail with a sharp pointy end. \"Hasn't anyone told you that it's rude to stare at someone's tail?\" He frowned. \n\n\"Oh. Sorry. No one has tails on earth. Wait. Where am I?\" I looked around to find a clue about my whereabouts. \n\n\"You're in Hell.\" \n\n\"HELL!?\"\n\n\"Great.\" The child groaned. \"I summoned a broken one. Yes, hell. Underworld. Yada yada yada \"\n\n\"Wait. Am I dead? Why am I in hell?\" I began to panic. Why am I in hell? Was it because I refused to share my Pizza with Karen? \n\n\"You're not dead. I summoned you.\" He pointed to the symbols beneath my feet. \"I didn't think it would work. But it did.\" He held a book with leather bindings. \n\n\"Summoned me? How? Can demons summon humans?\" This is ridiculous. I pinched myself to check if I was dreaming. \n\n\"I don't know.\" The kid shrugged. \"It was supposed to be a myth. I found a book in the library and tried to summon one. Listen, can you help me?\"\n\n\"Help you? How? I am just a human. You have magic. Dark magic.\" \n\n\"Well.... My school has a few subjects that help us hide among humans without drawing attention to ourselves.\" He looked at the ground, embarrassed. \"I needed help with a homework. Can you help me? \"\n\n\"Jesus Christ—\" I exclaiming. \n\n\"That name is prohibited!!\" The child's eyes went wide. \n\n\"Fine.\" I huffed. \"What is it? If it's math, kid, you're out of luck because I can't do math to save my own life.\" \n\n\"Wow. Math is easy. You must be really dumb then.\" He snickered. \"No. I needed help with this.\" He handed me the book he was holding. \n\nI opened the book. \"Memes\". I smirked at the kid. My time to shine was here. \"Kid, you better bring your pen, paper and be prepared to have your wig snatched because this is going to be one hell of a lesson.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are an ordinary human going about your day when you suddenly find yourself in hell. Looking down you see yourself standing on some crudely drawn symbols. A nearby demon child holds up some paper and says \"Um...can you help me with my homework?\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I was going about my day just like any other day. I awoke the kids with a glass of cold water to the face, pulled the covers off of my wife and was getting ready to drive to work with the windows down and my music blaring when all of a sudden I found myself in Hell. Not Hell like the steamy confines of a bathroom stall with a neighbor who just unleashed the stench of the century. And not Hell like the Book Club my wife hosts on Sunday evenings where I have to act all subdued as I greet her friends and resist the urge to offer to waterboard them with their stupid red wine and jam a cube of cheese up each of their nostrils. This was real Hell. Accursed, demonic, Satanic Hell. \n\nI know this because I saw the demon child. He wasn't quite like my demon children running about the house with their muddy shoes on. He wasn't trying to play the violin or telling me about some schoolyard drama as he picked his nose and then wiped his hands on my pant-leg. He was a red, horned imp with garish claws and a spiky tail. A real demon child. And apparently he had conjured me using some crudely drawn symbols that I was now standing on. That was a shit pentagram, that was for certain. Stupid kid.\n\n\"What the fuck do you want, you demonic little shit?\" I asked him in my sweetest parent voice. He gaped at me, fangs showing and spiked tongue kind of flopping about. I figured I might as well teach him the language of the layman now. The cool kids always knew the bad words when I was a kid.\n\n\"I... Um... Can you help me with my homework?\" What the fuck? Demons had homework? I was no good at math, but I figured I could goodly help him with some English. Hopefully it wasn't Spanish or something un-American like that.\n\nI stared at him for a second. I thought about kicking him. I wondered if I could kick him out of this dimension and into mine and I would go to demon-school and take his classes and claim he possessed me. That seemed mean. \"Depends,\" I answered reluctantly. He smiled. He probably shouldn't have. It was terrifying. \"Quit doing that, you're creeping me out.\" Much better. \"What subject?\"\n\nHe glanced down at his paper. Seriously, kid? He couldn't even remember what subject? Definitely a basket case this one, if they had baskets in Hell. \"Um... It's called...\" Yeah, I don't think he knew how to read. \n\n\"Give me that, you dimwit.\" He frowned. Just as scary as the smile. Hopeless. He handed me the paper.\n\n\"Torture Techniques of Today...\" I read aloud. Hell yes. Can I say that here still? \"Count me in, buddy,\" I told him with a devious grin that he matched. Creepy. This would prove very helpful for my life back at home.\n\n\"Mister?\" He interrupted my thoughts. The urge to kick him out of this realm was back. I glared at him. \"It's bring your pet to class day tomorrow. I'll bring you, okay?\"\n\nI didn't say anything at first. I thought about what I had back home. A job. A house. A wife. Kids. None of those needed immediate attention. Plus, I deserved a warm vacation. \"Okay,\" I told him finally. \n\n*****\n\nThanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please check out more stories at /r/MatiWrites. Constructive criticism and advice are always appreciated!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-09-17T14:12:35 | 2019-09-17T13:32:05 | 17 | 10 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are an ordinary human going about your day when you suddenly find yourself in hell. Looking down you see yourself standing on some crudely drawn symbols. A nearby demon child holds up some paper and says \"Um...can you help me with my homework?\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Um... can you help me with my homework?\"\n\nThe symbols beneath my feet were unfamiliar. Presumably, considering the context, some sort of summoning ritual for a math teacher.\n\n\"Well, sure, I guess. What's the homework about?\"\n\n\"Calc III, we inherited the American system down here, because guess where all of your school administrators ended up\". \n\nThey indicated that, indeed, it was hell. My surprise was immeasurable. \n\nTo be honest, the prince of hell was a pleasure to teach. An attentive and focused student, with a mind about as sharp as their rather menacing nails. We moved quickly, and after a few worked examples, the demon was quicker than I was at evaluating tricky line integrals. \n\nAs they went through the rest of the homework, we made conversation, occasionally pausing as I pointed out an error, or when they asked for a clarification of some point. We talked mainly about the obvious questions, you know, how I got summoned to hell, why it needed to be me instead of any of the math teachers who were here full time, which religions were closest to the truth and so on. (Christianity broadly, but no one was even close as far as the details went). \n\nAs time dragged on, my student proved ever more capable, and the homework was completed after a relatively short period of time - not that I really had any sense of time down here, there wasn't a clock in sight, nor anything else which would tell the passing of the hours. \n\nAt the end of this, the prince of hell thanked me, and handed me a collection of pages, each one covered in typewritten text, at the top was a couple of names, Hemmingway, Shakspere, Wilde, and a few others that I do not recognize. \n\n\"Payment, for this and any future tutoring services. The authors found most down here were rather disinterested in literature, or like the vast majority of humans who ever have lived, don't know English. They want it published up there, use the proceeds however you wish. I personally recommend squandering it on drugs and gambling.\"\n\n\"Is this how the rock musicians did it?\" \n\n\"Nah, the only musical thing that I sent up was a Stravinsky which I gave to Lutosławski. The rock musicans were both that good, and that crazy - if you want to, you can come and meet them some time. \n\n\"Well, anyway, I'm out of time, and so I'll send you back up. See you next week\".",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You are an ordinary human going about your day when you suddenly find yourself in hell. Looking down you see yourself standing on some crudely drawn symbols. A nearby demon child holds up some paper and says \"Um...can you help me with my homework?\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I quickly slapped the little boy’s claw away from me. I may be in hell, but that’s probably because I never did my homework.\n\nThe bottom eyelids of the horned child began to brim with blood. \n\n“You seriously about to cry?” I asked, annoyed. \n\nThe boy’s bottom lip trembled as he composed himself enough to speak. “I’m telling my dad on you!”\n\nA laugh escaped my lips. “You go right on ahead and do that. I ain’t scared of no homework totin’ snot nose kid’s dad.” I really wasn’t. I was something of a tough guy. I was the kind of guy to play poker blindfolded. I didn’t care nothin’ fer no winnin’ er losin’. I just liked the sound of cards being shuffled in a room full of old women. \n\nIn a puff of black smoke, the little boy disappeared from me. With him gone, I was free to take in my new surroundings. Fire and brimstone as far as the eye could see, just like the good book said. \n\n“Hey,” a tremendous voice boomed from behind me. “You the ladyboy who slapped my son’s hand?”\n\nI turned around slowly for effect. “Who the fuck do you think you’re calling a ladyb-“ I cut myself short as I noticed the hulking monster now looming before me. A black skinned thing, half man, half demon horse, bull, snake, all sorts of crazy shit. Looked like something out of a fever dream in a haunted house.\n\nThe beastly thing was holding the small child’s hand delicately, it was an odd looking spectacle to be honest. The little boy, apart from the horns, looked far too human to belong to this beast. \n\n“Well,” the creature said in an impatient tone. “Apologize to my son.” \n\nI was taken aback. Judging from the stature of this creature there was no need to *ask* me anything. It could have easily pinned me under its hoof until I said the magic words. I was thankful that for whatever reason the creature didn’t realize this itself. \n\n“I’m sorry,” I said, as sincerely as an insincere man like I could. \n\n“Did that please you, child?” The beast asked, looking affectionately down toward the child. \n\n“Yep,” sang the boy merrily. “He looks so scared, it’s hilarious. Thanks, Satan.” \n\nThat was the first of many meetings I would come to have with the infamous lord of Hell.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2019-10-10T08:54:54 | 2019-10-10T08:38:40 | 71 | 52 | [
{
"content": "[WP] Over time, you realize that all the spare change in your house disappears to who knows where. When you decide to investigate, you empty a cupboard and find a bunny size dragon sitting on a pile of coins...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well that's different.\n\nI spent at least twenty minutes this morning looking for my spare change. Which made less sense to me, because the jar was on top of the fridge.\n\nI know it didn't grow legs and walk off. That'd be another problem entirely.\n\nOf course, when I found it in the cabinet moving slowly across the back, that made me consider such a thing.\n\nNo, this was equally as strange if not more so. So, now I have a dragon in my house about the size of a rabbit.\n\nYou read that right. I'm just as confused as you.\n\nI found my change too. Problem is, the little guy won't let me take them. Every time I try to touch them he tries to burn me.\n\n\"Observe me mortal! I rule this treasure as my own!\"\n\nFirst of all. It's talking. That's not good. Second of all. I'm getting that money, lizard or no lizard.\n\nI got a pair of oven mitts and a fire extinguisher here. I'mma try this out. See what happens.\n\n---\n\nOkay. Bad idea. Turns out oven mitts aren't as flame resistant as you'd hope. Here's hoping the landlord doesn't come by soon. I'll lose my deposit.\n\n\"You dare to challenge me mortal? For plunder?\"\n\n\"Plunder?? It's my money!\"\n\n\"Nonsense.\"\n\n\"Yes it is.\"\n\n\"Prove it.\"\n\n\"You're in my house.\"\n\n---\n\nPudgy little thing. Now I can't keep any money around the house. I have to take my wallet into the bathroom when I shower, because if don't that will go missing too.\n\nApparently, when it comes to magic, dragons have telepathy as one of their little gifts to those in the proximity. That explains the talking part.\n\nI've reached out for help in a variety of ways. A college friend of mine says he has a demon he's summoned to work at his store. I figured that was a good place to start.\n\nHowever, they've been swamped what with Halloween and all coming.\n\nOne of my coworkers is the son of an orc chieftain. Maybe he could help out with this? But he said I'd have better luck with an elf, preferably a mage.\n\nNeither of them said it was a good idea to fight the dragon again. Namely because houses and people are surprisingly flammable.\n\nSo round 2 of \"Human versus One Fire Boi\" is out out of the question.\n\nI could call Iliana. But, she's been dealing with some Vampires lately, and I highly doubt she or her pack could be of use for such trivial matters.\n\nThere was that nice succubus in the duplex next door... but... That, uh... That one's complicated. Her roommate is a Seraph, and I do *not* want to upset him at all. Sidenote, how did that relationship work?\n\n---\n\nWell, me and my scaly friend worked out an agreement. It turns out cryptocurrencies can be considered a legal tender. So now Eggo guards my PC along with the jar.\n\nThat's his nickname. His real name is Ezekiel. But he ate all the frozen waffles I bought, so that's his name whether he likes it or not.\n\nEvery once in a while, I present him with a few quarters for good tidings. Partly to keep him happy, and to help him grow.\n\nSo, if you need any IT work, or something to burn to the ground. You know who to call I guess.\n\n---\n\nCriticism is welcome as always! Find more weird writing @ r/Jamaican_Dynamite as always.",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] Over time, you realize that all the spare change in your house disappears to who knows where. When you decide to investigate, you empty a cupboard and find a bunny size dragon sitting on a pile of coins...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The tiny dragon let out a puff of smoke. I backed away, shocked beyond belief. The coins in my pockets jingled, and I shoved my hand inside to pull out a quarter and a dime. I held them in my palm and crouched down to the dragon's level. The change disappeared from my hand without warning, and I looked at the dragon. She held them towards the light, weighed them, and put them into a specific pile. Tiny mountains of coins surround the dragon, each meant for a different type of coin. Pennies, quarters, half-dollars... everything.\n\nI put my finger inside the cupboard, hoping that the dragon would take it as a sign of peace. I didn't know what else to do. After all, dragons aren't even supposed to *exist*. I was met with a puff of fire the size of a ping pong ball. I jumped back and sighed. This dragon could burn down my house, burn down the neighborhood, kill me or my cat - it was a threat. At the same time, who gets the chance to meet a dragon? I paced through the living room while I thought about what could happen. Smoke billowed through the house, slowly filling each room. Smoke detectors blared, giving me a terrible headache. I disabled each of the smoke detectors and flopped onto the couch.\n\n\"I won't be able to think with all the smoke and noise in here,\" I said to myself. A commercial for a new arcade down the street quietly ran on the TV. I had nothing else to do, so I decided to go to the arcade and let loose for a bit.\n\nAs I walked, the sun beat down on my forehead, forming tiny beads of sweat. The arcade stuck out like a sore thumb next to all the other businesses. Its neon walls and flashing lights made it seem like it had been dropped there by accident, looking nothing like the monochrome, symmetric buildings of banks and grocery stores next to it. I walked inside and exchanged my money for ten dollars worth of arcade tokens. Kids screamed and ran through the arcade, whizzing past me like race cars. I played Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Frogger, feeling like a kid again and forgetting about the dragon. My ten dollars had been completely used up, except for one token I kept as a souvenir. I walked back to my house again, not ready to face the dragon that lived in my pantry.\n\nI slowly walked towards it while it organized the coin piles. I knelt down again and offered the dragon a quarter. She took the coin and put it into its pile. I tried putting my hand in again, but I was met with flames yet again. I fished around in my pockets for another coin, and I felt the arcade token moving around. I picked it up and held it out to the dragon. She took it and observed it for a few minutes. I watched while she weighed it and tried to put it with a pile, but it was a new coin. Suddenly, the dragon scampered up to me excitedly. She rubbed his head around my chest and let out a happy roar. The mountains of coins grew and grew until the coins were spilling out of the cabinet. She seemed to like me.\n\n\"Coinstar's gonna be really mad at me, little guy,\" I said. He happily purred and I got up. I opened the door to my backyard. \"You can leave now,\" I said. She didn't budge from the floor. \"Go, be free!\" I yelled. I pushed her scaly body towards the door, but she wouldn't go out. I sighed and closed the door. \"You want to stay here?\" I asked. She roared approvingly.\n\nI picked her up and put her on the counter.\n\n\"I'm going to name you Penny.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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] |
2020-02-22T18:24:18 | 2020-02-22T18:00:54 | 39 | 18 | [
{
"content": "[WP] “I am Lucifer, The Morning Star, The Firstborn, The Second Light, The Prince of Lies, The Adversary, The Dragon, The Serpent, Lord Of Evil, The First of The Fallen and I came here for one thing and one thing only” As he said this he summoned forth a Switch. “I came here to Brawl”",
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"content": "\"Brawl was on the Wii.\"\n\nSatan looked at me with a look of contempt.\n\n\"Yes, but aren't the Ice Climbers in this one?\"\n\n\"Yeah but you can't chain grab with them.\"\n\n\"How did you know I was going to chain grab?\"\n\n\"You're literally Satan.\"\n\n\"I'd think that's kind of judging a book by its cover isn't it? Anyway, what about Meta Kn-\"\n\n\"Not broken anymore.\"\n\n\"Falco?\"\n\n\"No chain grab and they removed DACUS.\"\n\nSatan pondered this for a moment, contemplating his options. No doubt sifting through the highest tiers of the Brawl tier list.\n\n\"Diddy?\"\n\n\"Only one banana. He has an infinite though.\"\n\n\"Is it easy?\"\n\n\"Of course not.\"\n\n\"Damn! Olimar?\"\n\n\"Not bad, actually. But he only has three Pikmin now.\"\n\n\"Snake?\"\n\n\"Busted.\"\n\n\"AHA!\"\n\n\"But still no DACUS.\"\n\n\"DAMN!\"\n\nI placed my token on Joker. Satan seemed flustered.\n\n\"WHO IS THIS?\"\n\n\"Joker.\"\n\n\"Alright, I'm done! This game makes no sense anymore!\"\n\nFlames engulfed Satan and he disappeared. I smiled and whispered under my breath.\n\n\"No Johns.\"",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] “I am Lucifer, The Morning Star, The Firstborn, The Second Light, The Prince of Lies, The Adversary, The Dragon, The Serpent, Lord Of Evil, The First of The Fallen and I came here for one thing and one thing only” As he said this he summoned forth a Switch. “I came here to Brawl”",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*I kneel down onto the dirt, slicing my hand ever so slightly with the silver knife.*\n\n\"Great Lord of the Dark, I bring to you but a simple request...\"\n\n*I let blood drip into the ceramic bowl at the center of the red spray-painted pentagram. The symbol surrounding me begins to glow red.*\n\n\"I wish to test my worthiness against thee through but a simple contest...\"\n\n*I lay the Switch on the ground in front of me as the land begins to heat up. Clouds from nowhere shoot forth lightning that cracks above my head, the thunder resounding through every bone.*\n\n\"If thy presence shall be granted, I only hope that thee accepts my challenge...\"\n\n*The air crackles as a billion volts strike the ground before where I am kneeling. I bow my head.*\n\n\"O' Great Lord...\"\n\n*He speaks.*\n\n“I am Lucifer, the Morning Star, the Firstborn,\" *He stops, taking in his surroundings. The forest must have been unexpected.*\n\n\"The Second Light, the Prince of Lies, the Adversary, the Dragon, The Serpent, Lord Of Evil!\" *He smiles down at me, offering me a hand to help me up. I accept.*\n\n\"I am the First of the Fallen and I came here for one thing and one thing only...\"\n\n*In a flash of bright orange flame, He summons forth a Switch.*\n\n“...I came here to Brawl.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-02-24T10:52:00 | 2020-02-24T09:41:36 | 38 | 23 | [
{
"content": "[WP] An alien species finds an ancient human probe transmitting coordinates and a single question: Is anyone there? Eager to find a new species the aliens instead discover Earth devoid of all life except a vault filled with advanced knowledge and the minds of humans Uploaded into the vault.",
"role": "user"
},
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"content": "\"Hey Alpeh, What is it?\"\n\nA delicate tentacle slid across a smooth transparency. \"It looks like a still-life. A scene from their cultural practices.\"\n\n\"There's a lot of equipment here. Seem's like it ought to be more than just an image.\"\n\nAlpeh gripped the surface a little with tactile extrusions and found the surface both slippery and responsive. As he dragged his grip across the screen the image shifted proportionally. \"Well it's fully interactive.\"\n\nAs Alpeh puzzled out the tactile interface of the wall, Larsis studied the bipeds depicted there. They were captured mid-stride and mid action with startling detail. As Alpeh zoomed in the point of view passed through one of the aliens and revealed full internal details. Larsis barked \"stop!\" and studied the internals a little. He could make out basic digestive features.\n\nThese creatures had left a record of their civilization unparalleled in the annals of archaeology.\n\nElsewhere other crew members were exploring the vault and the surface while the ship's crew took measurements and generally stood watch.\n\nThey had no idea that they were being watched and analyzed in turn.\n\nWeapons that only humans could conceive of sat silent all throughout the system, power dribbling in constantly but so subtly that the alien explorers had no chance of detecting the menace. Automated systems probed and analyzed the intruders meticulously, recording and deciding their fate.\n\nIn the dim and ancient vault long-dormant machinery underwent quiet changes. The living conditions, lighting, temperature, and humidity began adjusting itself to better suit the visitors.\n\nAlpeh released the display surface and it reoriented itself.\n\nLarsis said \"hey!\"\n\nAlpeh gestured at the screen \"look!\"\n\nThere amidst the tableau was a member of their own species. It was moving casually through the scene, approaching them.\n\nLarsis said \"What is going on?\"\n\nAnd the figure answered \"I am The Curator. Welcome to the home world of The First.\"\n\n\"The First are a myth.\" Alpeh couldn't help answering. He was a technician not a diplomat.\n\n\"They are not. You see them right here. The living visage of the first advanced intelligence in this galaxy. And you are the first to find and follow the clues to their origin.\"\n\nLegends of The First were used to scare the young of many species. There were burnt worlds and cultural fragments scattered through all of known space. Derilict ships wasted by time that were still too dangerous to enter. Fragments of technology that confounded great minds.\n\nNow here was a remnant of The First, active and awake.\n\nThe Curator rightly read their fear.\n\nProbes of terrifying efficiency focused on the ship in orbit, decoding and following the trail of data sent by the landing parties all the way into the heart of the ships databases.\n\nThe Curator laughed, gently but knowingly.\n\n\"Your fear is misplaced. The First were indeed capable of burning worlds. They strode across the sky, ready for all challenges and threats. But when they found that they were alone, they changed. They faced the dread of isolation and came up with a plan to defeat the despair.\n\n\"The First withdrew. They wiped themselves from the most promising worlds. They seeded a few places where life had miscarried. They burnt some other worlds to prevent contamination.\n\n\"Their real gift was the mystery they deliberately left behind so The Second Races would not find an empty universe. Traces of art, traces of danger, the sure and certain knowledge that there was more to find.\n\n\"Then The First withdrew to their home and waited.\"\n\nAlpeh sighed \"Seems like such a waste. All that work and by the time we get here they've vanished.\"\n\nLarsis waived an arm in denial. \"No Alpeh. You don't get it. This is them.\" He tapped the display. \"All this equipment. Somehow they are alive in there.\"\n\nThe Curator gave a flourish of satisfied agreement, as if a test had been passed. \"Just so. The First chose to live here very slowly, waiting for the universe to birth companions. Someone will be with you shortly.\"\n\nDeep in the tangle of world-spanning technologies power began to flow in earnest, and the figures in the display began to move faster.",
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{
"content": "[WP] An alien species finds an ancient human probe transmitting coordinates and a single question: Is anyone there? Eager to find a new species the aliens instead discover Earth devoid of all life except a vault filled with advanced knowledge and the minds of humans Uploaded into the vault.",
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"content": "\"If you're reading this now, today is a grim day. We can't offer anything but our deepest condolences.\"\n\n\"You don't think that's a little wordy, Proma? It's a message to the Minder, they will obviously be reading it.\"\n\n\"Shut up, Jaeth, just keep writing and we'll get to it at the end. The next sentence! Write - 'The planet purportedly harboring life, J02X ...' the pain in my left is acting up, Jaeth, give me the rest...\"\n\n\"J02X1938, fool, we were just talking about it. The Minder should decommission you.\"\n\n\"Remember who the intelligence here is Jaeth! My left is acting up, no thanks to you...\"\n\n\"The next sentence, Proma!\"\n\n\"Quiet down.. 'The planet purportedly harboring life, J0... whatever it was, was found to be lifeless and steeped in darkness. Perhaps in a last-ditch attempt to save the fruits of civilization, a jumble of vast sums of data was found in a vault, hidden away in one of the dark planet's deep waters.\"\n\n\"Why do you think they did that? They must have given up hope quite some time ago.\"\n\n\"It's not our place to know: in order to know, we'd have to spend more time and resources here. Our allegiance is to the Minder, Jaeth. Remember that we have no authority over the purpose or mechanisms of this mission. Only the Minder, head of the Ministry of Exploration and Research, can commission research questions like that.\"\n\n\"Multitask then, Proma, just amuse me. We've been traveling, barely saying a word, and in the meantime, my body has grown old and frail. And now look, the planet that was supposed to make us great in the sight of the Ministry has been reduced to nothing.\"\n\n\"You're complaining like this isn't your only job. Maybe they were like us. Reim was a planet like this one, but growing up there was not an extraordinary challenge to Lyx as a race. Had we faced an extreme environmental change, would you remain quiet to the universe as the Lyx died out? Aren't last words a natural thing?\"\n\n\"I had friends before this that I left behind, you know, I didn't mean to lose them like that; I'm complaining because the Minder sent us on a death-mission. And dying quietly is an option if you think you're alone.\"\n\n\"We haven't seen anyone since we started on our journey. We've been alone with certainty, what about us, Jaeth? Look at our bodies. We won't make it back alive, and the Ministry warned us that this might happen. We are a small and insignificant fragment of a single functional unit of Reim's all-consuming Lyx.\"\n\n\"But we're leaving a message. Maybe we are like them after all. Maybe it won't matter who finds us, when they find us, or how. You must feel this too, Proma, having stared into the nothingness for so many years. Having something to outlive us is cold comfort, understanding that although we cannot be there to welcome friends and strangers, to live like we always had, the evidence that we had lived is there. Maybe that is it, the comfort of impact.\"\n\n\"Are you sure you're okay, Jaeth? Before you were speaking nonsense, and now you've either become wise over the course of this discussion or the darkness is getting to you.\"\n\n\"Proma, you were marked for the Ministry: you didn't decide this outcome either. And yet, with what little facility you had, you grabbed for dear life at success and glory, all for what? So that the Lyx would see you, and you would see their reactions at the unlikelihood of your sudden rise. If it's not to prove that you lived, then why?\"\n\n\"Now I'm certain that you could use some light. Jaeth, what about the message? We're burning time.\"\n\n\"You've grown unhinged yourself. Give me the next sentence, then.\"\n\n\"Here, then: 'In homage to the Dead, and to us: Jaeth and Proma of the Ministry of of Exploration and Research of the planet Reim, as we also write some of our last words, we pose the same lonely words that were written inside of that ancient vault. With uncertain beginnings and a certain soon ending, is there anyone there?'\"",
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}
] |
2020-05-06T12:27:52 | 2020-05-06T12:25:35 | 274 | 56 | [
{
"content": "[WP] \"Come on, aren't you a little old to have an imaginary friend?\" He was right, but it seemed so real. \"I guess...\" \"So maybe make some real friends, ones who don't have scaly skin and forked tongues.\" I stopped in my tracks. \"I never told you what it looked like.\"",
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"content": "“Come *on*, Jeffrey! Aren’t you a little old to have imaginary friends?” Steph asked. She reclined in a blue beach chair, flipping through a magazine, floppy hat shading her face.\n\nJeff sighed. He *knew* he shouldn’t have told her about the monster that had been in his backyard. He hadn’t really known Steph for all that long, only a few weeks since she’d moved in with her parents. She hadn’t even started at the local high school yet, but Jeff had been aching for her to finally show up. Now, though, he’d probably blown his chances.\n\nThe scaly lizard-like creature splashed around in the pool, completely content. When he’d come to Steph earlier, asking to use her pool so the small, hapless critter he’d found drying out behind his shed could have some space to swim, she’d looked at him like he was crazy.\n\n“There’s nothing in that fish bowl, Jeff. Is this some sort of prank?”\n\nIn order to keep her from calling the ambulance on him, Jeff had panicked and told her it was just his imaginary friend. After all, that was fairly normal, right?\n\n“I guess you have a point,” Jeff said, watching the critter glide from one end of the pool to the next. It almost looked like a little dragon. A water dragon. Did those exist?\n\nShe’d invited him to come hang out by the pool anyways, and told him, voice dripping with sarcasm, to go dump his friend in the water. Sheepishly, but grateful that she gave him an excuse, he’d released his discovery into the pool. The creature had chirped happily at him before swimming off in content little circles.\n\n“Yeah, you need more real friends, like me!” Steph said, looking up at him from under the wide brim of her hat. He couldn’t see her eyes through the dark black shades she wore. “Not scaly monsters with forked tongues.”\n\n“Yeah, yeah, I hear you--” the words died in his mouth, and it was as though his blood had frozen in his veins. His jaw clenched, and he forced his attention away from the creature in the pool to Steph. She was still smiling at him, as if nothing at all were the matter.\n\n“I… didn’t tell you what it looked like,” he said.\n\nSteph’s smile faltered. She pulled off her hat, auburn hair falling in neat curls around her shoulders. “Of course you did,” she said. “Out front, you told me.”\n\n“Why would I have told you what it looked like?” he asked. “I only asked to use your pool so it would have some room.”\n\nHe pointed at the pool, where the creature was still…\n\nJeff forced air into his lungs. There was no creature in the pool. In fact, there wasn’t even water in the pool.\n\nHe sputtered a moment, glancing back at Steph. Only… she wasn’t there either. Just an old pool chair caked with mold. Even the house her family had spent months refurbishing looked abandoned.\n\nJeff’s grip on the empty--and completely dry--fishbowl in his arms tightened. And then he got to his feet and walked home.",
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{
"content": "[WP] \"Come on, aren't you a little old to have an imaginary friend?\" He was right, but it seemed so real. \"I guess...\" \"So maybe make some real friends, ones who don't have scaly skin and forked tongues.\" I stopped in my tracks. \"I never told you what it looked like.\"",
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"content": "\"Come on, aren't you a little old to have an imaginary friend?\" He was right, but it seemed so real. \"I guess...\" \"So maybe make some real friends, ones who don't have scaly skin and forked tongues.\" I stopped in my tracks. \"I never told you what it looked like.\"\n\nDad sighed. “I forgot you never mentioned what Roger looked like.” \n\n“Did I even tell you his name was Roger?” I asked. \n\nWe were out on the deck and dad gestured for me to sit. It was a warm day and I’d been excited to help dad grill breakfast for the first time in forever. But now I felt cold, heavy. When Roger disappeared last year I was inconsolable for weeks. I told my parents something must have happened to him, that he wouldn’t just run away. They convinced me that Roger was made up, just a creature I’d invented in my imagination. Roger was beautiful, scaled in iridescent blue, with green cat-eyes and six nimble legs. His antlers were smooth and sharp and jutted out like the branches of a dead tree. When he spoke, it was like poetry pushed through a forked tongue. He made the most amazing promises then, one day, he was just gone. \n\n“Dad?” I asked again. “Dad...do you *see* Roger? Is he real?” \n\nDad was silent for a long moment. He stared at the charcoal burning in the grill. \n\n“Kiddo, it’s not so simple. Roger is, *was,* real. But he was also dangerous. Do you remember the fire when you were younger? When we lost the house back in Maryland?” \n\nHeat. Lovely heat. And wood crackling. I remembered it well, still dreamed about it. \n\n“Yeah, I do, dad. But what does that have to do with Roger?” \n\n“Well, the fire was Roger’s fault.” My dad seemed at a loss for words. “He-*it*, told you to set that fire. It made you light those matches and take them to the curtain. So your mother and I realized that Roger...had to be taken care of, had to be *stopped*.” \n\n“What did you do?” I whispered. \n\nRoger, my Roger. He didn’t disappear, didn’t runaway; he was taken from me.\n\nDad couldn’t look at me. He only watched the grill as orange and blue flames danced low and clear. \n\n“Only what we had-”\n\nThe rest of dad’s response was lost in his shriek as I pushed his face into the sizzling coals. \n\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_ \n\n\n[GTM](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grand_Theft_Motto/comments/emzy3b/the_stories/)///[CC](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCrypticCompendium/comments/g5lu7x/author_database/)",
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] |
2020-05-18T10:05:05 | 2020-05-18T08:18:21 | 2,728 | 384 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
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"content": "Tilis laughed under their breath, their male and female heads undulating their tentacles in amusement. A pinch of this, a dash of that, careful to maintain seals on the PPE...\n\nA warning tone at the Hazardous Materials Lab door heralded the entry of Morv, the hulking uluian shuffling along on his eighteen stumpy legs, covered head-to-toes in heavy white protective gear. He sighed as he witnessed the maniac concoctions of Tilis. \"Hell ya doin', Til?\"\n\n\"A miracle of science, my dear Morv!\" Tilis chimed in stereo from their two heads, peppery with cheer and mirth. \"A pushing of boundaries, an investigation into the limits of the known world!\"\n\n\"Ya look like you're making something that'll kill everyone on this ship.\"\n\n\"All but one!\" Tilis laughed wildly as they put the tray of concocted discs into a heated solidifier. \"\"According to protocols, these toxins need to be seared at high heat to unlock their full deadly glory! Watch with me, dear friend, as we dance dangerously upon the precipice of destruction, boldly in the name of science!\"\n\n\"Mmmf.\" Morv grunted, as he observed the solidifier in action, watching the pasty toxin concoctions stabilize into discs. \n\nThe warning tone chimed again, as Kevin entered the lab. Kevin was a \"Hu Man\", bipedal with only two arms. Kevin was wearing no PPE as he sauntered into the Hazardous Materials Lab. \"Hey guys, just came to tell ya the grav-ball game got moved to fourteen-hundred. Damn, what smells so good?\"\n\n\"Tilis is making something.\"\n\n\"A terror upon the senses, a nightmare to the sanity of weak minds!\" Tilis laughed merrily, their female head giving Morv a knowing wink. \"What say you to a field sample?\"\n\nKevin looked around. \"What kind of field sample?\"\n\nTilis pulled the tray of toxin discs from the solidifier. \"These are made from the dried and ground husks of four different toxic plants, Kevin. Their agency amplified tenfold by the addition of lethal amounts of primary elements including, but *certainl*y not limited to, sodium and chlorine!\"\n\nKevin took a toxin disc in his bare unprotected hand, sniffed it, and immediately ate the entire toxin disc in a single bite.\n\nMorv and Tilis watched in horror and delight respectively, as Kevin amicably chewed and swallowed the disc. \"Tastes good. Can I have more, or are these to share?\"\n\n\"More?! **SHARE**?!\" Morv dropped his jaw in astonishment. \"Those were POISON, Kevin! I saw Tilis put ground nuvarian prairie grasses and jellied xoxilot fruit into it!\"\n\nKevin thought for a moment, grabbing two more toxin discs to munch on. \"I think we just call these \"cookies\" back home, Morv. Chocolate-chip, old childhood favorite.\"\n\n\"You people feed that stuff to KIDS?\" Morv paled and trembled beneath his PPE at the thought. Tilis was on the floor laughing their tail off.\n\nKevin shrugged, and went to a vat on the wall. Grabbed a cup and filled it with a clear liquid. Before Morv could protest, Kvin washed the whole cup down. \"Normally I'd take milk with these, but water will do.\"\n\n\"KEVIN! That was oxygenated hydrogen! It's deadly!\"\n\n\"Deadly flavorless, maybe.\" Kevin tossed the cup onto a counter, and waved idly as he went into the interstitial zone and activated the regulation-mandated cleansing spray. \"Grav-ball at fourteen-hundred, yeah?\"\n\nMorv stood rooted in place, stammering insensibly, as Tilis continued their ceaseless manic laughter.",
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{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
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"content": "We all shun them, these ugly creatures from the planet R453, also known in their language as Earth. They are a plague to their environments and feed by extracting resources from their surroundings. They are viruses surviving on the hardships of other creatures around them, creatures they call lesser than them. \n\nThe stuff they are made of, water, is one of the most potent poisons available in the Universe. It is a virus whose only goal is to spread further and further and it does so through its vessels, called living creatures. These creatures, of which the ultimate one is the human, feed on each other, creating a terrifying hierarchy and thereby justifying their actions. Dog eat dog, as they would say. Their society preys on the weak and praises the strong. One of their most influential teachers on the planet even remarked how those that are poor will be left with nothing and those that are rich will enjoy even greater opulence. You know what they did to that guy? Terminated him by nailing him on a cross, proceeding to worship him. Complete enigma, these humans. They even invented different languages, only to separate themselves from each other. In my reports, it has come to my attention that the number of different languages existing on planet Earth passes over one million, if you include the utterings of every living being on it. They use language to recognize one another and separate friend from foe...\n\nWater undulates, spreading over any surface it touches, completely covering it, rendering it useless and disfunctional. One drop of water has the ability to disable the works of a thousand scientists, if it is dropped in the right place at the right time. Most machines malfunction at the merest touch with this terrible substance and not even the toughest warriors of our galaxy survive a scuffle with this liquid menace. One drop renders your body useless, two drops induces coma, the third drop? You don't live to tell the tale.\n\nThe reason why we have such a dangerous creature with us is to conquer a planet gone rogue, that is full of another toxic liquid made from the glands of a very specific breathing creature called 'cow'. It's the planet N793, also called the Milk planet. Humans have a very peculiar connection to milk, as they extract it from living cows, making a drink out of it and other products they proceed to consume. Milk is very dangerous to our species and it even affects some humans in unprecedented ways, but it does not kill them, those pesky resilient aliens.\n\nThe Milk planet is actually an arms factory (you cannot use water in war, according to the Universal Galactic War Codex, as it destroys everything in its presence), but the cows, having gained sentience, put up a valiant fight. They walk on their hind legs, shooting milk out of their udders, thereby killing their captors.\n\nWe have to bring back peace on this planet, so that we may continue fighting the good fight for our glorious galaxy. You see, the galaxy is in constant war with other galaxies and almost every creature is aware of the ongoing carnage, except for a few special cases, like humans. \n\nBut now, everything changed. There are no holds barred when it comes to arms production.\n\nWe are using the humans as a sentient shield, but its mere presence sends a shiver to my spine. The Milk planet will be in our vicinity in less than ten quarks of time, enough for me to extricate this report out of my neural pathways. As I was minding my notes into my MindPad, the human approached me and belched: ''Yo, where the fuck can one here get a sandwich or whatever?!''\n\nI vomited in my own mouth, thinking about the terrifying things one has to do to acquire such a delicate meal. Maybe this all was a mistake, maybe the real enemy is not the cow - Maybe, it is standing right next to me.",
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2020-05-18T13:50:10 | 2020-05-18T11:33:08 | 144 | 103 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
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"content": "I was preparing the final checks of the bio-sphere module attachment procedures as I read the documents of it's content, as my hesitancy grew. A module filled with 78% nitrogen, a not completely unexpected chemical, after all it is present on many homeworlds of the Noxium Union, albeit in much lower amounts, but the oxygen reactive and corrosive gas, at 22% concerned me. Perhaps a mistake in the transfered files I should inquire about after I finish reading.\n\nBut I was stunned upon further reading, the module was to be pressurised at 14.7 psi, my confusion growing, to be cooled to a mere 289 Kelvin, with an artificial gravity two times that of my homeworld. Surely a mistake, I ponder what could live in a toxic, heavy environment this cold, so thick it could crush a Lashions exoskeleton! With an immense supply of the corrosive, Dihydrogen Monoxide as well! Either a ridiculous mistake in the files I received, or this module was for developing some kind of Accord violating weapon!\n\nI bring my panicked worries to my supervisor, my tail swaying with my unease. \"There must be a mistake, this \"bio-sphere\" is basically a weapon, what could we, a Union research station, be using this for?\"\n\nMy supervisor simply looked at me, a trace of fear visible in his luminescant face. \"It's a bio-sphere for the newly integrated sapients, the Humans. We have one joining the station to explore further integration\".\n\nMy tertiary heart quivered, a human? I'd read a little of their kind after first contact was initiated. A species that dwelled in a harsh world, that ate the flesh of living beings, with maws of sharp calcium protrusions, that drank poison for sustanence, that inhaled burning bio-matter for fun. A being that stayed awake for over 16 hours at a time, and slumbered for at least 8 and carved and stained patterns in it's very own flesh, and came back for more.\n\nI felt fear, at this alien creature that was reminiscent of a monster. This monster that was coming to this very station, but at the same time I was curious, as curious as a Neriun could be, at what this creature was truly like, how this alien truly lived, how a frightening monster like this could dwell amongst sapients so different from itself.",
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{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"That's poison.\"\n\n\"Poison? No way! It's Dihydrogen Monoxide. H2O. Water!\"\n\n\"And also poison.\"\n\n\"Ah, you must be fucking with me. I'm positively parched, pass me a cup!\"\n\nMy limbs hardening in fear as I passed the container to the human, I wondered, what in the name of Blorgon I did to deserve meeting this... creature? Who thinks that even *pretending* to drink Grade A, Level 1 poison, stuff that can literally melt your soul, would make a good prank? Heartless, I tell you, absolutely irresponsible.\n\nAnyways, he wasn't pretending.\n\nHe filled the cup with 980 times the safe amount to be carried in Maximum Protection. My body had gone from rubbery tentacles to hardened bark, literally frozen in fear. This human is holding so much poison in an unsafe container that I could be arrested just for being this close to it.\n\nHe raises it to his mouth. By Blorgon, I think I'm starting to snap.\n\nHe gulps it down in one go. \n\nMy tentacles go absolutely limp, sheer relief flooding through me. And then they go ballistic.\n\n\"Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down Atir, why are you so worried? It's just water! The purest I've ever had, tastes real weird if I'm being honest\"\n\nHe... spoke? What?\n\n\"You... you're alive? How?\"\n\n\"You can't be serious. You're telling me water is poisonous to you guys?\"\n\n\"TO THE WHOLE GALAXY YOU COLOSSAL MORON! HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!\"\n\n\"There's no tricks here, I'm just-\"\n\nAnd the human dropped dead.\n\nSee the thing is, that was pure Water. With absolutely 0 impurities. Humans drink ... water, with a host of impurities that apparently boosts their functions, once absorbed into their body. Unfortunately, pure water, with no impurities, has the opposite effect. Due to it being so \"empty\", it leeches all the nutrients directly available to it as it passes through their rudimentary digestive system. \n\nThe water absorbed so many nutrients that the human's brain simply stopped working, and soon after, his heart too.\n\n\"A good story Atir, but The Intergalactic Court is a place for truth and truth only. For spinning such lies in the face of ju-\"\n\n\"I AM TELLING THE TRUTH.\"\n\n\"Silence! You dare interrupt the Libra Supreme?! Murder of your coworker is forgiveable, but this is too much. Death awaits you.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-05-18T13:07:35 | 2020-05-18T11:20:25 | 84 | 51 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Our newest crew member, one of the most bizarre life forms we've ever encountered, is proving to be both an asset, and amazement, and a pain in the waste discharge orifice. But at least it doesn't pollinate.\n\nFor one thing, this thing regularly consumes copious quantities of one of the strongest solvents in the universe. It respirates one of the most reactive substances in the universe. It's quarters is dangerously toxic to not just other lifeforms, but to installed equipment as well. It requires a specially made encounter suit nearly all the time. It's aggressive, predatory, but with almost no psionic ability at all. But you put it on a weapons console and it identifies and tracks better than any species to date - even better than our computational systems. You put it in engineering, and its more creative than any other species. It's intellect is generally dull and undeveloped; but its imagination amazes the rest of the crew.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*he takes a sip* \"what is everyone at the carbon based lifeform for\" Jeffreys said to his two crewmates and captain all three silicone based. They stare and blink for a few moments but Jorn the first officer spoke first breaking the silence, \"Ape, please tell me that's not what I think it is you just consumed\" his smooth voice trails off. Jeffreys stars unblinking for a few a seconds, \"water, h2o, dihydrogen monoxide? Ring a bell\". A much more ruff voice spoke up, \"that is... Something quite terrifying to behold with our eyes as silicone based lifeforms\" Frell shivered and spoke back up, \"you do no how near instantaneously toxic of a substance that is to us, do you?\" The captain went and hid in his quarters, Jeffreys replied to Frell with, \"it's a natural thing to me, it'd be the same I consumed liquid hydrogen as often as you do\" Frell went back to piloting, and Jorn went back to maintaining the engines retorting, \"first rock we pass by we're kicking him off\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-05-18T12:24:02 | 2020-05-18T11:20:25 | 70 | 51 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Bro! What the fuck?!!? We've been collecting that shit for 50 centuries! My father died in a war over 4 ml of it on Archon 9, that was enough to wipe out the entire Andalin sector of this galaxy, how are you still alive???\"\n\n\"What? You mean that glass of water? What else was I supposed to drink? That green ooze with the chunks of hair in it?\"\n\n*Alien slaps him across the face*\n\n\"Ow! What was that for???\"\n\n\"That \"green ooze\" is my great-grandmother's remains\"\n\n\"Oh, Im sorry...h-her hair must have been lovely, what a nice shade of brown\"\n\n\"Nah she was cremated with the dog. Forget that though man we got to get you to the doctor before that poison reaches your digestive tract, if it touches the lining suction cups on your third heart they might created a singularity in your chest and destroy everything within an 11 million mile radius\"\n\n\"Bro, relax, I drink that shit everyday, we're gonna be fine.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You were warned that your newest crew member, a \"Human\", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they \"needed a drink of water.\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "*he takes a sip* \"what is everyone at the carbon based lifeform for\" Jeffreys said to his two crewmates and captain all three silicone based. They stare and blink for a few moments but Jorn the first officer spoke first breaking the silence, \"Ape, please tell me that's not what I think it is you just consumed\" his smooth voice trails off. Jeffreys stars unblinking for a few a seconds, \"water, h2o, dihydrogen monoxide? Ring a bell\". A much more ruff voice spoke up, \"that is... Something quite terrifying to behold with our eyes as silicone based lifeforms\" Frell shivered and spoke back up, \"you do no how near instantaneously toxic of a substance that is to us, do you?\" The captain went and hid in his quarters, Jeffreys replied to Frell with, \"it's a natural thing to me, it'd be the same I consumed liquid hydrogen as often as you do\" Frell went back to piloting, and Jorn went back to maintaining the engines retorting, \"first rock we pass by we're kicking him off\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-06-22T06:19:30 | 2020-06-22T04:08:28 | 485 | 170 | [
{
"content": "[WP] After countless hours of research and testing, your dog translator was ready. As you hook it up to your loyal canine, he utters his first words : \"FUCKIN FINALLY!\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"FUCKIN' FINALLY!\" announced Admiral, my lazy-headed Golden Retriever and steadfast companion. \"TOOK YOU WHAT, A MONTH?!\"\n\n\"Quiet,\" I hissed. Then the joy of the moment struck me and I locked Admiral in a hard embrace.\n\n\"SO,\" he continued, ignoring me, \"WHAT'S FOR DINNER TONIGHT?!\"\n\n\"Listen,\" I replied, \"why do you always speak like *that*?\"\n\n\"LIKE WHAT?!\"\n\n\"Never mind.\" I reached for a notepad on my desk. \"I've been waiting for this moment. I wanted to ask you some questions.\"\n\nAdmiral sniffed around, looking vastly uninterested.\n\n\"First, how are you capable of such complex communication?\" I asked as innocently as possible.\n\n\"ARE YOU DOUBTING ME?!\" replied Admiral. \"I NEVER THOUGHT HIGHLY OF YOUR INTELLECT EITHER.\"\n\nI decided to move on. \"Next, what do you think about on a daily basis?\"\n\n\"FOOD. FOOD!\" he responded doggedly. He quickly lost interest, however, and I was forced to continue.\n\n\"What do you think of your daily life here? Are you satisfied or bored?\"\n\nAdmiral had an immediate response. \"BORED,\" he answered. \"BORED. BORED. BORED. BORED. BORED.\"\n\n\"Listen,\" I reminded him. \"You don't have to be so loud.\"\n\nAdmiral seemed not to care. \"WHAT NOW?\" he barked.\n\nI began to have an idea.\n\n\"How would you think of a dog show?\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] After countless hours of research and testing, your dog translator was ready. As you hook it up to your loyal canine, he utters his first words : \"FUCKIN FINALLY!\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "The speaker crackled to life as i flicked the switch to ”on”. \n”FUCKING FINALLY” burst out echoing through the garage, followed by a suspicious look from the dog and silence. \n”Was that me?”- came cautiously through the speaker, the dog looked insecure, almost afraid. \nShe was a lovely german shepherd, and she’d been happy all 6 years alive. All of a sudden You could see horror spreading across her face. Dread and terror. She began shaking violently. \nThe softest, quietest, and saddest voice now came through. \n”You really shouldn’t have done this” She said. \n”Why not, Lily?” I Asked. \n”They’ll find out. They’ll come for you, and not even my love can hold them off when they do”\n\nStunned at the overly mysterious nature of what Lily had told me, i tried coaxing a bit more out of her. \n”What’s wrong? Who are they, Lily?”\nAs i asked the question the ground began to shake slightly and the power went out. That’s the last thing i remember before waking up in a cell, around 2x3m. There’s a blanket on the floor, and two bowls in the corner. One auto-fills with something that is edible but doesn’t taste like anything, the other one with water at room temperature. \nTo my count, that was eight years ago now. But i can never be sure. There is no day or night here. Only dusk. I’ve seen no other living things, but i’ve heard them. The sounds keep me from sleep. Heavy breathing. Wet dragging noises. And the screams. I never knew other living things could scream like that.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-06-22T06:19:30 | 2020-06-22T04:50:21 | 485 | 141 | [
{
"content": "[WP] After countless hours of research and testing, your dog translator was ready. As you hook it up to your loyal canine, he utters his first words : \"FUCKIN FINALLY!\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"FUCKIN' FINALLY!\" announced Admiral, my lazy-headed Golden Retriever and steadfast companion. \"TOOK YOU WHAT, A MONTH?!\"\n\n\"Quiet,\" I hissed. Then the joy of the moment struck me and I locked Admiral in a hard embrace.\n\n\"SO,\" he continued, ignoring me, \"WHAT'S FOR DINNER TONIGHT?!\"\n\n\"Listen,\" I replied, \"why do you always speak like *that*?\"\n\n\"LIKE WHAT?!\"\n\n\"Never mind.\" I reached for a notepad on my desk. \"I've been waiting for this moment. I wanted to ask you some questions.\"\n\nAdmiral sniffed around, looking vastly uninterested.\n\n\"First, how are you capable of such complex communication?\" I asked as innocently as possible.\n\n\"ARE YOU DOUBTING ME?!\" replied Admiral. \"I NEVER THOUGHT HIGHLY OF YOUR INTELLECT EITHER.\"\n\nI decided to move on. \"Next, what do you think about on a daily basis?\"\n\n\"FOOD. FOOD!\" he responded doggedly. He quickly lost interest, however, and I was forced to continue.\n\n\"What do you think of your daily life here? Are you satisfied or bored?\"\n\nAdmiral had an immediate response. \"BORED,\" he answered. \"BORED. BORED. BORED. BORED. BORED.\"\n\n\"Listen,\" I reminded him. \"You don't have to be so loud.\"\n\nAdmiral seemed not to care. \"WHAT NOW?\" he barked.\n\nI began to have an idea.\n\n\"How would you think of a dog show?\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] After countless hours of research and testing, your dog translator was ready. As you hook it up to your loyal canine, he utters his first words : \"FUCKIN FINALLY!\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have always been a dog and technology enthusiast, so why not combine both passion and make a technology for dogs. To finally let them speak! Not the dog trick “speak” where they just bark back once to you. Like actually speak human understandable language!\n\nNow, I had to approach this idea differently. Animals, specifically dogs have different brains than humans. I have to take that into account. Also it's already hard to translate several human languages due to many reasons. For example, a phenomenon known as Polysemy: the many meanings that a single word can take. \"Get\" can mean a lot of things depending on the context of situation.\n\nBut after a lot of consultation with Animal lovers, zoologist and language translators. I finally made it! The dog translator!\n\nThat was when one of my dogs went near me and I had the idea to put it on him. The closest test subjects. What could go wrong?\n\n\"FUCKIN FINALLY!\" The dog said, and immediately I removed it and re-coded a language filter. When I put the translator back again. I heard a very masculine deep voice as it said \"Thanks, master.\"\n\n\"Good boy, Alpha!\" I replied. \"Call the other dogs so I can put one on each of them. Then we’ll set out to find that pesky bird.\"\n\nBut yeah, as much as I am an inventor. I am also an adventurer and I did make a promise to bring back a live specimen of those bird bones I found long ago and I will not return to the largely populated world until I do. So they would have to wait until I can show them this invention.\n\nFunny how I finally got it to work after years of isolation. I guess I am just desperate to talk to anyone now that even dog would do.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-08-03T10:13:07 | 2020-08-03T09:42:08 | 27 | 11 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You fall in love with a girl, and the two of you have a happy relationship for a few years. But one day, you discover a massive hoard of valuables underneath the house, and that's when you realize you've been dating a dragon in human form.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have been dating Myne for three years, she was fairly secretive about her past, but she was cute so it was ok. She made sure to not give me too much information as to tip me off as to her secret, she was a Dragon. In the plains where we live, dragons are scarce and feared greatly. So much so that people have started a project in order to make sure dragons could never enter this place.\n\nIt would entail a spell, one that would most-likely take a decade to research, but knowing that someone out there was researching the spell made people happier and feel safer. I was the one who was asked to do the job. Though I only took the job to make sure the spell could never be completed. See, I always knew she was a dragon, I was just waiting for her to tell me. That’s why I was calm while she was fishing for excuses.\n\nWhen I opened the basement door, all I could see was gold. I went down to fix the heater while she was away. She always said that she was wealthy because of her parents, but wouldn’t let me meet them. I had to climb past the gold to make it to the heater. As I was fixing it, Myne walked in. \n\n“W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!!” Her voice was screaming with panic. I remained calm, I didn’t want to force her to tell me that she was a dragon but it looks like I will.\n“I’m fixing the heater. Weren’t you going to go out with friends for a drink today?” I replied, she was planning to go to the bar with friends for her birthday. That’s why I was fixing the heater today.\n\n“They canceled and said we could go tomorrow. I-I thought I told you to never go down into the basement for Any reason.” Her panic kept growing, but she didn’t have anything to fear.\n\n“I wanted to fix the heater. I feel bad making you do all the housework.” She always does the housework to make sure I never have a reason to go down in the basement, I only felt bad for making her do it all.\n\n“I could have fixed it when I got home. A-and it isn’t what it looks like, all this gold is… uhh…” she was fishing for excuses, while I was looking for my own treasure.\n\nI figured that when she told me she was a dragon, it would be in her lair. So I hid there a treasure of my own. A one-inch cubic shaped black box with rounded corners. It contained a small ring with a diamond at its center. As I walked closer to her, she was mumbling. In order to quiet her, I planted a kiss on her lips. “No more excuses, Kay?” She nodded while looking away in despair. \n\nI got on one knee and said, “Myne, look at me.” I opened the box, and showed her its contents. “Would you make me the happiest woman in the world, myne. O, dragon in human form that appeared before me three years ago, will you marry me?” After I said this, tears began to go down her face. She threw herself at me in an embrace.\n“Of course, of course I will! I love you! Charlotte!” Her face was absolutely drenched in tears, I assume she expected me to run away in fear of her.\n\n“I love you too, Myne!” ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-Poperson13 \nMight be shit, might be not. Let me know! Thanks for reading",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You fall in love with a girl, and the two of you have a happy relationship for a few years. But one day, you discover a massive hoard of valuables underneath the house, and that's when you realize you've been dating a dragon in human form.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"I'l look for a good spot for our treasure,\" Nina says.\n\nI nod. \n\nI head downstairs, mentally letting go of the house. It's not so special, I tell myself. It's only the house I've had for about five years, three years before I met the love of my life... It's odd how you forget these things as time goes on... Relationships become different ass time goes on. they become more... real. Very real. \n\nI sigh. \n\nI can't believe it as I pick up the phone to call my boss. \n\nHe can't believe it either. \n\n\"Why in hell, Jake, are you calling me at ten O'clock at night!\" \n\nI'm silent for a moment. \n\n\"Hello! Hello!\" \n\n\"Hi Tim,\" I say. \n\nHe hears my voice. \n\n\"Everything Ok? The assignment i gave you can wait, I've told you-\" Tim says. \n\nI don't respond. \n\n\"Hello!\" \n\n\"I-\" I say. It's so unreal. \"A family issue came up,\" I say. \n\nI hear Tim sigh loudly. \n\n\"Really?\" Tim says. \n\nI don't say anything. \n\n\"Seriously, Jake! A Family issue?!\" \n\nI hold my tongue. \n\n\"How many days you need?\" Tim says, knowing that I wouldn't have called him at ten O'clock at night just to ask for vaca days. \n\n\"I don't think-\" \n\nI hear Tim sigh loudly. \n\n\"Why are you doing this to me, Jake\" Tim begs. \n\nI have nothing to say. \n\nWe hang up a few minutes later. \n\nThen comes the lease and the phone bills companies. \n\nI'm staring at myself in the mirror a few minutes later when I'm struck by the maniacal urge to laugh. \n\nSo I let it out. \n\nNina comes to see if I'm alright. \n\nTwo days later we are on our third trip to some nice island Nina found. We are driving back to town in the car. She only flies outside of the town limits. We have located four houses in China. The first, the next backup, the next backup and the next backup. the reason we have only four is because we haven't really had time to find more. The only thing that bothers me is this journal Nina has started carrying around. It isn't hers, i know that, and it hasn't got her handwriting anywhere on the scribbled up cover and spine... I hope we can meet up with the rest like her, if they can help us.... \n\nNina asks me now why I was laughing those few days ago. \n\nWell... \n\nThis is the story of how I gave up my home and job for a girl... \n\n(Ps. She gave it back. The crown, I mean. Well, she kinda left it somewhere by some person who was too old to move... with a note... It was kinda like saying that we are sorry and that this man really couldn't have done it. Whatever. I hope He's Ok. If anything, it was Nina's idea, though I fully support it. She's the crafty one around here. Beats me at chess all the time. I don't even like chess! Talk about who you get as a soul mate. Ok, gotta go she's looking over my shoulder. For more on this story, comment to me and I'll give you the updates via a blog. Ok, gotta go, we're back home. Cheers!)\n\n(Pps. I know. 'Cheers' is English and that area of the world. Lol. Irony.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-08-05T06:20:46 | 2020-08-05T05:58:28 | 320 | 159 | [
{
"content": "[WP] You’re a blacksmith and a woman you’ve never seen before walks into your shop, asking for a blade. She stops by daily to check on it’s progress, and you form a bond over time, until one day she disappears. You’re afraid you’ll never see her again, until you're summoned to the castle.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "\"Halt! State your business!\" A scar-marked soldier blocked Chloe's path by wielding a mighty halberd and an even mightier scowl.\n\n\"Erm...well... I was invited, I have an invite...\" She quickly produced the crumpled note she had found stuffed under her door, and attempted to read the hastily written-script to her current interrogator, \"... I-Yam-ere Too keel-\"\n\nChloe didn't know what had happened next, but it may have had to do with the blunt object that was levelled towards her head from the soldier she hadn't seen, and as she slumped over the guard remarked, \"Bloody amateur doesn't even 'av a knife\" as he hauled her away to the dungeons.\n\nThe room she awoke in was a farcry from her makeshift blacksmith tent; this place had a bed. As she sat up, a thudding pain at the back of her skull prompted Chloe to reassess her current situation, and a steady stream of panic started to bubble in her stomach; she was in a cell. The room had aquired much rot and decay from the countless souls left to suffer and die at the whims of the Grand Cardinal's new Laws, and now she shared that same honoured position.\n\nA sound from the other side of the room compelled Chloe to shy away to the opposite side, and as she cowered down and leaned backwards, she felt the tough iron bars of the connected cell. She peered through the opening her fingers had left as they scrabbled up to hide her face, and noticed a small stone lightly spinning as if it had just been thrown.\n\n\"Don't make a sound, and just listen to what I have to say,\" a low hushed voice said into her ear from behind. From the other cell.\n\nAs she launched herself away from the voice in fear, Chloe turned to see the very same woman she had seen two nights ago: her very first customer. The woman had asked her to create a very simple sword but with her own iron, a request that would've piqued any blacksmith's, above apprentice-level, suspicions immediately. Chloe was trying to make a new start, and was more than happy to oblidge this seemingly-normal request.\n\n\"Did you finish making that sword for me\", the woman had asked, and after Chloe returned a fearful nod, \"Well, this is an excellent start indeed!\" - The woman waved her her right hand in a series of circles while mumbling a low-growling phrase under her breath. As she stopped, a loud sucking sound emanated from her palm and ended with a louder pop, revealing the blade.\n\nAs she studied the sword, the woman casually remarked, \"Well now, I told them my blacksmith was a natural spell-forger, so thank you for not letting me down...sister.\"",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "[WP] You’re a blacksmith and a woman you’ve never seen before walks into your shop, asking for a blade. She stops by daily to check on it’s progress, and you form a bond over time, until one day she disappears. You’re afraid you’ll never see her again, until you're summoned to the castle.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I've often dreamed of the inside of the castle. It's parapets, and swooping buttresses all aglow in the moonlight. Though business is usually attended to before nightfall'; it's not uncommon to be summoned after dark. It's not usually a good thing though.\n\nI'm nervous and not a little tired after working the forge all day as I approach the magnificently carved doors of the castle. My eyes catch movement in all the shadows around me and I realize that I've been followed from my home. It's concerning being followed for so long. I live at the edge of the city. However, my fears are temporarily forgotten as I walk through the entrance.\n\nI gasp slightly at the colors, and shining golds and silvers all around me. Woodwork like I've never seen, and the most amazing fixtures of brass and wrought iron. Thousands of candles and torches light nearly every corner and seem to make everything glow. I knew the castle would be magnificent but I had no idea how opulent it really was until that moment.\n\nI spot the rustling shadows again as a move forward and my nerves begin to rise. I was nervous before, but now I can feel my pulse rush through my ears and my vision blurs just slightly. \"Why was I called here so late\"? I wonder as I keep moving deeper into the room. \"And who or what has followed me here\"?\n\nI reach a second door and, seeing no one around, knock tentatively. The doors whoosh open and a loud voice booms from the seat in front of me beckoning me into the room: \"Proceed young smith to the throne!\"\n\nI glance sideways at the ever moving shadows, and walk cautiously towards the seat in front of me. It faces away from the door, and as I move around to the front of it my brow drips with nervous sweat and my beating heart seems to grow audible. I kneel in front of the chair nervous, bewildered, and awed all at the same time. I stare at the ground and wait.\n\nAnd nothing happens. No more voices. The room is quiet. I keep waiting to see what my king wants from me, but hear nothing. The room dims slightly and the shadows keep swirling and moving in the corners. I can bear it no more and look up at the seat in front of me and stifle a scream.\n\nSitting where I expected to find my king is nothing but a slowly rotting body.\n\nI scuttle backwards and fall on my butt. One hand behind me and one slowly rising to my face. There's movement behind the chair in front of me and I stand up. I recognize the figure walking towards me.\n\nThe woman I've come to know the last few weeks flips her new blade through the air briefly, laughs a little, and asks, \"have you never seen death\"?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-09-14T07:59:32 | 2020-09-14T07:46:50 | 117 | 70 | [
{
"content": "[WP] They called you a madman for raiding the history museum during a zombie apocalypse. What they didn't expect was for full plate armour to be so effective.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "A madman they called me, \na man with no brain. \nEven dumber than those, \nwho had rotten in twain.\n\nI took what was old, \nfrom year long gone past. \nI wore a plate armor, \nfor long it may last.\n\nInstead of motors, \ni sought out a steed. \nInstead of guns, \ni got a blade to my need.\n\nThe undead may rise, \nit may be my gloom. \nBut if they cannot harm me, \nit will be their doom.\n\nSo laugh you dumb fools, \nabout my sorry face. \nIn the end i will live, \nand of you be no trace.\n\nFor i am a knight, \nand i swore an oath. \nTo protect what is sacred, \nin life and death both.\n\nCome now vile creatures, \nthis will be your end. \nFor i got my armor, \nand you got no friend.\n\nEdit: Format",
"role": "assistant"
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] They called you a madman for raiding the history museum during a zombie apocalypse. What they didn't expect was for full plate armour to be so effective.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Everyone knows the basic skills needed for the zombie apocalypse. Foraging, fighting, and fleeing. The last of the three f’s of survival was the most important. So armor was considered to be impractical as it would only slow you down. I chose to add more defense when it started. The history museum had a set of full plate armor fit for battle and in good condition. \n\nThey saw an invincible being walk through the hoard. I laughed at the walking corpses as they tried to bite through steel. No weak point on me for them to exploit. I had also taken a sword and shield to kill them so that I could be allowed in a settlement. \n\nThey looked in horror as I took off my helmet and showed them who had strode through the hoard, they had ridiculed my idea and my idea worked better than running. Now this settlement will be listening to me. I plan on getting everyone full plate armor. That way we can forage and fight without fear and we can keep everyone in one area. We will grow back to being a society.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
2020-09-14T09:46:15 | 2020-09-14T09:10:39 | 36 | 17 | [
{
"content": "[WP] They called you a madman for raiding the history museum during a zombie apocalypse. What they didn't expect was for full plate armour to be so effective.",
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{
"content": "Cricket bats are made out of willow which gives a wonderful, resonant sound when connecting with a skull. An undead skull, naturally and I love a bit of skull-basing in the morning followed by a nice, relaxing cup of Earl Gray. No milk to be found anywhere these days unfortunately, so naturally, my chosen breakfast beverage is Earl Gray where the only requirement is hot water and the right mix of tea which admittedly is getting a touch trickier to find.\n\nGuns are all well and good but in England there just weren't enough and the ammo ran out pretty quickly. Plus it takes quite a bit of practice to get a headshot unlike a cricket bat. Because just a good old thump and those heads crack open like a walnut at Christmas, spreading a beautiful shower of brains. And how I miss Christmas in front of a roaring fire, passing the port, chatting to Aunt Maude. Especially as I had to crack Auntie Maude's skull open after she'd eaten Uncle Cuthbert. Still, the old boy was getting a touch senile and his flatulence was approaching unbearable so on balance, probably all for the better.\n\nAnd admittedly, I do look a little strange in the 15th Century suit of armour I've borrowed rather permanently from the Tower of London's rather extensive collection. I know at the time it seemed to be a strange choice and even today I still get a few odd looks but it's better to be mocked by a hundred than carried by six and let's face it, the zombie apocalypse is a rather odd situation.\n\nThere was that one rather awkward time when I was knocked over and had a hundred zombies breaking their teeth on my metal carapace which ended up in some sort of giant, toothless, zombie sucking session. Unable to get up for a full day, I felt like a giant, zombie lollipop and the amount of dribble generated was, it has to be said, mildly unnerving. Plus my rescuers will never, ever let me forget this rather embarrassing incident once they'd chopped their way to me. And it did take them a fair while to stop laughing.\n\nBut it worked. So no-one's laughing now or at least, no-one alive. And when we charge into battle on our armoured steeds, I'm no longer Sam the slightly eccentric accountant. Now, I'm Sam, king of the round table, laying waste to all around me like a knight full of honour and dash. Or Sam the sucker as some of my fellow survivors like to refer to me.",
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{
"content": "[WP] They called you a madman for raiding the history museum during a zombie apocalypse. What they didn't expect was for full plate armour to be so effective.",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "\\-=-=-\n\nDay 3, My friends and I managed to get some supplies from the supermarket without attracting too much attention from other survivors or the undead, When planning our next move I made the suggestion of raiding the old history museum, They just laughed and called me a madman, I kept insisting that the old armor they have there would be great against the undead that just made them laugh even harder. \n\n\nDan the madman they started calling me, I show them.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDay 4, I packed my bag and planned out the trip to the museum, it'll take roughly a half a day to get there if I take the safe routes.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDay 5, I managed to get around most of the city with out the undead noticing me, I did encounter a few in the alleyways but they were easily dealt with, My friends tried contacting me over the walkie talkies, I just told them I was hunkered down in an old apartment for the night. Just in front of me I can see the museum, Looks like some survivors have made it there home or a temporary shelter judging from the makeshift walls, gonna have to sneak in tomorrow for now I'll get some rest...\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDay 6, I kept an eye on the museum this morning and heard a lot of gunfire during the early morning it quieted down a little while after, I watched as the undead were drawn away from the museum they seem to be following a survivor who ran out of the museum, I figured this would be my best chance to get into the museum while the undead are distracted...\n\n&#x200B;\n\nDay 7, I spent the rest of yesterday fortifying the front door and trying on some armor until I found one that fit well enough, My friends haven't contacted me for a few days now, I'm afraid the worse has happened... \n\n\\-=-=-\n\nAs Dan finished writing in his journal, his walkie talkie lit up someone was yelling for help, Dan instinctively answered to call to help and packed his bags with what little supplies he had left and picked out his sword and headed to the front door. He pushed aside the blockade and swung open the door sword in hand ready to face the world...\n\nIn the end survivors considered Dan a legend, a person who helps when you need it most and disappears without a trace, years passed since his last sighting. Some say he finally settled down, others say he left Britain and headed overseas, other say he was just a myth made by survivors to give each other hope...",
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] |
2020-11-20T12:55:52 | 2020-11-20T12:06:53 | 248 | 175 | [
{
"content": "[WP] you are the first immortal. While it is true that you cannot die, your flesh and body can. After so many millennia you are reduced to a sentient skeleton sitting at the bottom of a peaceful pond to avoid contact with other people. Some bastards are trying to drain it",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "*They never learn*\n\nIf I could've sighed I'm sure I would have, but the muscles controlling my ribs had rotted away long ago. Attempting to breathe was more a habit at this point.\n\nThe little light that penetrated the murky water reflected off my bleached white fingers as I began blindly searching for the large bundle of kelp I'd collected from the lake bottom I called my home.\n\nI'm not sure what ungodly forces kept my bones together, or allowed me certain movements. Hell I'm not even sure how I could maintain an internal monologue given my nervous system had dissolved into an odd grey pudding a few decades ago.\n\nHow long has it been now? I settled at the bottom of this lake after the local village stopped calling me a \"miracle\" and started calling me a \"monster\". I guess the sight of a walking skeleton can be... unsettling to tourists - I was driving away income.\n\nEvery now and then, though, my lake home would get a visitor. A scientist here, a researcher there. I spent a moment spying on a small group of surveyors for a while as they went about collecting data. Sometimes it is fun to watch and see the life I could've had if I wasn't cursed to live forever.\n\nI like to indulge the curious ones. They were simply doing their job. However as their project progressed, more and more people started coming around. People in suits, thinking themselves important. I heard their conversation one time. They talked of draining this lake, my home, to build a new shopping center. Make a profit industrializing the peaceful mountains; turn a profit destroying the very nature I found solace in. I didn't like that too much. I mean, have a little respect. By this point, the only thing older than me is the earth we all live on. Mother Earth sure aged better than me though.\n\nThat's when I started collecting the kelp. I started venturing above water a bit more, making sure to stay just in the worker's peripherals. They're so chatty, the little worker bees. And so superstitious. Rumors began to spread of the \"reaper of the lake\" but those were easily dismissed. I mean, no pictures or video evidence could confirm my existence.\n\nSo you can imagine my utter glee when I surfaced from the lake, swathed in the darkest kelp, skeletal grin on full display to face the suits who had started draining my lake. Their faces! The absolute horror as they stared into my empty eye sockets. If I had the lung capacity to laugh I would have.\n\nThey ran. I'm pretty sure one soiled himself based on the stains of his grey suit pants but thankfully I haven't been able to smell anything in a couple hundred years. I tilt my head and raise my arm in farewell.\n\n*They never learn. This is my lake. This is my home.*\n\n\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\n\n&#x200B;\n\nThis is my first piece of writing I've posted so any feedback is really appreciated. I don't know why this particular prompt sparked me to write but I couldn't get the imagery out of my head.",
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] | [
{
"content": "[WP] you are the first immortal. While it is true that you cannot die, your flesh and body can. After so many millennia you are reduced to a sentient skeleton sitting at the bottom of a peaceful pond to avoid contact with other people. Some bastards are trying to drain it",
"role": "user"
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{
"content": "I am Hayat Tawila of Arabia. I lived many many lifetimes ago, back in the First Crusade. Then The Second, and The Third. I lived until the Siege of Acre, when a Templar Arrow pierced my side. Or so I thought. I then lived for the next 8 centuries, with my body remaining the same. I served alongside the British in the Great War, and with the United States Marines in Korea, and Vietnam. In the year of what is called, “1974,” I became very weary. After all, I had served many militaries over the course of 800 or so years. So I chose a place to rest, in the place called “Lake,” which means “Is Yours” in my tongue, so I figured it would be a good place to rest. I lay my head on the very bed of this place, under many fathoms of water, where I rest beside the other creatures of the lake. I close my eyes and begin my rest, with my withering muscles and tendon barely clinging to my holllowing bones, following an incident with the substance “napalm.”\n\nI awoke from my peaceful sleep to the rumbling of what sounded like a kind of engine. Maybe a boat? No, it couldn’t be. Many boats have passed over me and I have never been bothered. I rose from the muddy mass I called bed. I tried to walk to investigate, but my bones had grown brittle, with my muscles and tendon clinging for dear life, one which I wish I’d never been blessed with. “Blessing.” That was the complete opposite of what I had received. As I tried to compile my thoughts in this hollow skull of mine, I began to walk on the muddy surface of the lake bed. I looked around, my bones and muscles creaking and cracking with every movement. I followed the source of the sound, and I found a series of these pipes, which were connected to pumps. Someone was removing water from my resting place.\n\nI immediately became upset. This was my home. My only time where I could find peace, and now I am being disturbed once more. The audacity! I tried to walk to the surface of the lake to confront the one disturbing my rest, but my brittle bones gave in to the pressure of the water. I nearly forgot about my deteriorating condition. “jana alraml,” I began to mumble in my native tongue, with what strength in my jaw I had left. “amnahani, abnak hayatan tawilatan,” I groaned as the water bubbled above me. “quaak alhakimat wal'iilhiat.” I spoke with what strength I could muster. In that moment, I felt the power of the divine passing through me. \n\nWith the newly found stamina in my body, I walked to the surface of the lake, to investigate who disturbed my peaceful rest. As I rose to the surface of the water, I saw humans. A group of humans who were wearing nice suits and some with what looked like construction clothes. They fell to the ground, startled at my presence. After all, I was a walking skeleton. I began to cry aloud in my native tongue, asking for the power of the divine to surge through me, that I may deliver my wrath on these mortals who anger my slumber.\n\n“Who are you?! *What* are you?!” one of the finely dressed men shakily asked.\n\nI drew my scimitar from its sheathe of my ragged robes of the Third Crusade.\nI answered, “I am Hayat Tawila of Arabia.”",
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] |
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