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Hmmm ... might I suggest that the wayward wooden one end it all by stuffing himself into an electric pencil sharpener ?
1
The makers of Mothman Prophecies succeed in producing that most frightening of all movies -- a mediocre horror film too bad to be good and too good to be bad .
1
Mr. Deeds is not really a film as much as it is a loose collection of not-so-funny gags , scattered moments of lazy humor .
1
How this one escaped the Lifetime network I 'll never know .
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Could n't someone take Rob Schneider and have him switch bodies with a funny person ?
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One of these days Hollywood will come up with an original idea for a teen movie , but until then there 's always these rehashes to feed to the younger generations .
1
For all its brilliant touches , Dragon loses its fire midway , nearly flickering out by its perfunctory conclusion .
1
I have to admit that I am baffled by Jason X.
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A mean-spirited film made by someone who surely read The Catcher in the Rye but clearly suffers from dyslexia
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Instead of a witty expose on the banality and hypocrisy of too much kid-vid , we get an ugly , mean-spirited lashing out by an adult who 's apparently been forced by his kids to watch too many Barney videos .
1
This is a film living far too much in its own head .
1
Dogtown is hollow , self-indulgent , and - worst of all - boring .
1
A movie so bad that it quickly enters the pantheon of wreckage that includes Battlefield Earth and Showgirls .
1
It 's just too bad the screenwriters eventually shoot themselves in the feet with cop flick cliches like an oily arms dealer , squad car pile-ups and the requisite screaming captain .
1
To be influenced chiefly by humanity 's greatest shame , reality shows -- reality shows for God 's sake !
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-- is a crime that should be punishable by chainsaw .
1
A frustrating ` tweener ' -- too slick , contrived and exploitative for the art houses and too cynical , small and decadent for the malls .
1
What 's surprising about this traditional thriller , moderately successful but not completely satisfying , is exactly how genteel and unsurprising the execution turns out to be .
0
Drowning 's too good for this sucker .
1
An instantly forgettable snow-and-stuntwork extravaganza that likely will be upstaged by an avalanche of more appealing holiday-season product .
1
Frankly , it 's pretty stupid .
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But there 's plenty to offend everyone ...
1
Love Liza is a festival film that would have been better off staying on the festival circuit .
1
Quite frankly , I ca n't see why any actor of talent would ever work in a McCulloch production again if they looked at how this movie turned out .
1
My precious new Star Wars movie is a lumbering , wheezy drag ...
1
Too campy to work as straight drama and too violent and sordid to function as comedy , Vulgar is , truly and thankfully , a one-of-a-kind work .
1
Horrid little propaganda film with fascinating connections not only to the Serbs themselves but also to a network of American right-wing extremists .
0
Should have gone straight to video .
1
It looks like an action movie , but it 's so poorly made , on all levels , that it does n't even qualify as a spoof of such .
1
It is supremely unfunny and unentertaining to watch middle-age and older men drink to excess , piss on trees , b.s. one another and put on a show in drag .
1
Consider the film a celluloid litmus test for the intellectual and emotional pedigree of your date and a giant step backward for a director I admire .
1
A boring , pretentious muddle that uses a sensational , real-life 19th-Century crime as a metaphor for -- well , I 'm not exactly sure what -- and has all the dramatic weight of a raindrop .
1
Sheridan had a wonderful account to work from , but , curiously , he waters it down , turning grit and vulnerability into light reading .
1
Heavy with flabby rolls of typical Toback machinations .
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It is very difficult to care about the character , and that is the central flaw of the film .
1
Snow Dogs finds its humour in a black man getting humiliated by a pack of dogs who are smarter than him
1
Whole stretches of the film may be incomprehensible to moviegoers not already clad in basic black .
1
Reggio and Glass so rhapsodize cynicism , with repetition and languorous slo-mo sequences , that Glass 's dirgelike score becomes a fang-baring lullaby .
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Ends up offering nothing more than the latest Schwarzenegger or Stallone flick would .
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If The Tuxedo actually were a suit , it would fit Chan like a $ 99 bargain-basement special .
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Parents beware ; this is downright movie penance .
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... a complete shambles of a movie so sloppy , so uneven , so damn unpleasant that I ca n't believe any viewer , young or old , would have a good time here .
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Has nothing good to speak about other than the fact that it is relatively short , tries its best to hide the fact that Seagal 's overweight and out of shape .
1
A pathetically inane and unimaginative cross between XXX and Vertical Limit .
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Feels at times like a giant commercial for Universal Studios , where much of the action takes place .
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Britney Spears ' phoniness is nothing compared to the movie 's contrived , lame screenplay and listless direction .
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Every sequel you skip will be two hours gained .
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But it has an ambition to say something about its subjects , but not a willingness .
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Twenty-three movies into a mostly magnificent directorial career , Clint Eastwood 's efficiently minimalist style finally has failed him .
1
It should have stayed there .
1
But the feelings evoked in the film are lukewarm and quick to pass .
1
The most opaque , self-indulgent and just plain goofy an excuse for a movie as you can imagine .
1
Big Fat Liar is little more than Home Alone raised to a new , self-deprecating level .
1
Loses its sense of humor in a vat of failed jokes , twitchy acting , and general boorishness .
1
There 's a delightfully quirky movie to be made from curling , but Brooms is n't it .
1
The story suffers a severe case of oversimplification , superficiality and silliness .
1
Chamber of Secrets will find millions of eager fans .
0
But if the essence of magic is its make-believe promise of life that soars above the material realm , this is the opposite of a truly magical movie .
1
Too clever by about nine-tenths .
0
Has all the hallmarks of a movie designed strictly for children 's home video , a market so insatiable it absorbs all manner of lame entertainment , as long as 3-year-olds find it diverting .
1
Bears about as much resemblance to the experiences of most battered women as Spider-Man does to the experiences of most teenagers .
1
Toward the end Sum of All Fears morphs into a mundane '70s disaster flick .
1
Director Carl Franklin , so crisp and economical in One False Move , bogs down in genre cliches here .
0
Mendes still does n't quite know how to fill a frame .
1
Like the Hanks character , he 's a slow study : The action is stilted and the tabloid energy embalmed .
1
This thing is just garbage .
1
There must be an audience that enjoys the Friday series , but I would n't be interested in knowing any of them personally .
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A bold -LRB- and lovely -RRB- experiment that will almost certainly bore most audiences into their own brightly colored dreams .
0
An empty exercise , a florid but ultimately vapid crime melodrama with lots of surface flash but little emotional resonance .
1
If you are curious to see the darker side of what 's going on with young TV actors -LRB- Dawson Leery did what ?!? -RRB- , or see some interesting storytelling devices , you might want to check it out , but there 's nothing very attractive about this movie .
1
My own minority report is that it stinks .
1
Trying to make head or tail of the story in the hip-hop indie Snipes is enough to give you brain strain -- and the pay-off is negligible .
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The script is high on squaddie banter , low on shocks .
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... if you , like me , think an action film disguised as a war tribute is disgusting to begin with , then you 're in for a painful ride .
1
While Solondz tries and tries hard , Storytelling fails to provide much more insight than the inside column of a torn book jacket .
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With very little to add beyond the dark visions already relayed by superb recent predecessors like Swimming With Sharks and The Player , this latest skewering ... may put off insiders and outsiders alike .
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-LRB- Davis -RRB- wants to cause his audience an epiphany , yet he refuses to give us real situations and characters .
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Without a fresh infusion of creativity , 4Ever is neither a promise nor a threat so much as wishful thinking .
1
... unlike -LRB- Scorsese 's Mean Streets -RRB- , Ash Wednesday is essentially devoid of interesting characters or even a halfway intriguing plot .
1
Being unique does n't necessarily equate to being good , no matter how admirably the filmmakers have gone for broke .
1
A few hours after you 've seen it , you forget you 've been to the movies .
1
waydowntown may not be an important movie , or even a good one , but it provides a nice change of mindless pace in collision with the hot Oscar season currently underway .
0
Yes , I suppose it 's lovely that Cal works out his issues with his dad and comes to terms with his picture-perfect life -- but World Traveler gave me no reason to care , so I did n't .
1
It is not the first time that director Sara Sugarman stoops to having characters drop their pants for laughs and not the last time she fails to provoke them .
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I 'd be hard pressed to think of a film more cloyingly sappy than Evelyn this year .
1
Nothing more than an amiable but unfocused bagatelle that plays like a loosely-connected string of acting-workshop exercises .
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What remains is a variant of the nincompoop Benigni persona , here a more annoying , though less angry version of the irresponsible Sandlerian manchild , undercut by the voice of the star of Road Trip .
1
A backhanded ode to female camaraderie penned by a man who has little clue about either the nature of women or of friendship .
1
Take away the controversy , and it 's not much more watchable than a Mexican soap opera .
1
It 's got the brawn , but not the brains .
1
Mindless and boring martial arts and gunplay with too little excitement and zero compelling storyline .
1
A lot of talent is wasted in this crass , low-wattage endeavor .
1
-LRB- T -RRB- oo many of these gross out scenes ...
1
About one in three gags in White 's intermittently wise script hits its mark ; the rest are padding unashamedly appropriated from the teen-exploitation playbook .
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Little is done to support the premise other than fling gags at it to see which ones shtick .
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One of those films that seems tailor made to air on pay cable to offer some modest amusements when one has nothing else to watch .
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The big ending surprise almost saves the movie .
0
It 's probably not easy to make such a worthless film ...
1
Has no reason to exist , other than to employ Hollywood kids and people who owe favors to their famous parents .
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For a guy who has waited three years with breathless anticipation for a new Hal Hartley movie to pore over , No Such Thing is a big letdown .
1