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A jumbled fantasy comedy that did not figure out a coherent game plan at scripting , shooting or post-production stages .
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A sad and rote exercise in milking a played-out idea -- a straight guy has to dress up in drag -- that shockingly manages to be even worse than its title would imply .
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We hate -LRB- Madonna -RRB- within the film 's first five minutes , and she lacks the skill or presence to regain any ground .
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Sounding like Arnold Schwarzenegger , with a physique to match , -LRB- Ahola -RRB- has a wooden delivery and encounters a substantial arc of change that does n't produce any real transformation .
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Two big things are missing -- anything approaching a visceral kick , and anything approaching even a vague reason to sit through it all .
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Scarcely worth a mention apart from reporting on the number of tumbleweeds blowing through the empty theatres graced with its company .
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And as with most late-night bull sessions , eventually the content is n't nearly as captivating as the rowdy participants think it is .
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Too stagey , talky -- and long -- for its own good .
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Apparently reassembled from the cutting-room floor of any given daytime soap .
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The sinister inspiration that fuelled DeVito 's early work is confused in Death to Smoochy into something both ugly and mindless .
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Despite Auteuil 's performance , it 's a rather listless amble down the middle of the road , where the thematic ironies are too obvious and the sexual politics too smug .
1
Never comes together as a coherent whole .
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An unintentionally surreal kid 's picture ... in which actors in bad bear suits enact a sort of inter-species parody of a VH1 Behind the Music episode .
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First , for a movie that tries to be smart , it 's kinda dumb .
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And second , what 's with all the shooting ?
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Do n't even bother to rent this on video .
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There is something in Full Frontal , I guess , about artifice and acting and how it distorts reality for people who make movies and watch them , but like most movie riddles , it works only if you have an interest in the characters you see .
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This is the kind of movie that gets a quick release before real contenders arrive in September .
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Not counting a few gross-out comedies I 've been trying to forget , this is the first film in a long time that made me want to bolt the theater in the first 10 minutes .
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Plays like one long , meandering sketch inspired by the works of John Waters and Todd Solondz , rather than a fully developed story .
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The film does n't have enough innovation or pizazz to attract teenagers , and it lacks the novel charm that made Spy Kids a surprising winner with both adults and younger audiences .
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A mawkish self-parody that plays like some weird Masterpiece Theater sketch with neither a point of view nor a compelling reason for being .
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An average B-movie with no aspirations to be anything more .
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The plot is plastered with one Hollywood cliche after another , most of which involve precocious kids getting the better of obnoxious adults .
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A film that suffers because of its many excesses .
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Too bland and fustily tasteful to be truly prurient .
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In any case , I would recommend Big Bad Love only to Winger fans who have missed her since 1995 's Forget Paris .
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But even then , I 'd recommend waiting for DVD and just skipping straight to her scenes .
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Depicts the sorriest and most sordid of human behavior on the screen , then laughs at how clever it 's being .
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Nijinsky says , ' I know how to suffer ' and if you see this film you 'll know too .
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` CQ may one day be fondly remembered as Roman Coppola 's brief pretentious period before going on to other films that actually tell a story worth caring about
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The only thing scary about feardotcom is that the filmmakers and studio are brazen enough to attempt to pass this stinker off as a scary movie .
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... the story simply putters along looking for astute observations and coming up blank .
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Instead of contriving a climactic hero 's death for the beloved-major - character-who-shall - remain-nameless , why not invite some genuine spontaneity into the film by having the evil aliens ' laser guns actually hit something for once ?
1
It just did n't mean much to me and played too skewed to ever get a hold on -LRB- or be entertained by -RRB- .
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This action-thriller\/dark comedy is one of the most repellent things to pop up in a cinematic year already littered with celluloid garbage .
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MIB II is a movie that makes it possible for the viewer to doze off for a few minutes or make several runs to the concession stand and\/or restroom and not feel as if he or she has missed anything .
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That 's because relatively nothing happens .
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No amount of arty theorizing -- the special effects are ` German-Expressionist , ' according to the press notes -- can render it anything but laughable .
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Blue Crush follows the formula , but throws in too many conflicts to keep the story compelling .
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Boyd 's screenplay -LRB- co-written with Guardian hack Nick Davies -RRB- has a florid turn of phrase that owes more to Guy Ritchie than the Bard of Avon .
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There 's not a spark of new inspiration in it , just more of the same , done with noticeably less energy and imagination .
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Jackson shamefully strolls through this mess with a smug grin , inexplicably wearing a kilt and carrying a bag of golf clubs over one shoulder .
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A moving picture that does not move .
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Romething 's really wrong with this ricture !
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Its salient points are simultaneously buried , drowned and smothered in the excesses of writer-director Roger Avary .
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I 'm not sure these words have ever been together in the same sentence : This erotic cannibal movie is boring .
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` God help us , but Capra and Cooper are rolling over in their graves . '
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... an hour-and-a-half of inoffensive , unmemorable filler .
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Is it a comedy ?
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A cartoon ?
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Yes .
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No. .
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And that is where Ararat went astray .
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It 's a bad sign in a thriller when you instantly know whodunit .
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Has a customarily jovial air but a deficit of flim-flam inventiveness .
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Eight Legged Freaks wo n't join the pantheon of great monster\/science fiction flicks that we have come to love ...
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It gets the details of its time frame right but it completely misses its emotions .
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Who , exactly , is fighting whom here ?
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Ah , yes , that would be me : fighting off the urge to doze .
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A kilted Jackson is an unsettling sight , and indicative of his , if you will , out-of-kilter character , who rambles aimlessly through ill-conceived action pieces .
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Contrived , awkward and filled with unintended laughs , the film shows signs that someone other than the director got into the editing room and tried to improve things by making the movie go faster .
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Starts out with tremendous promise , introducing an intriguing and alluring premise , only to fall prey to a boatload of screenwriting cliches that sink it faster than a leaky freighter .
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The film lapses too often into sugary sentiment and withholds delivery on the pell-mell pyrotechnics its punchy style promises .
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The only question ... is to determine how well the schmaltz is manufactured -- to assess the quality of the manipulative engineering .
1
Average , at best , I 'm afraid .
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This movie is so bad , that it 's almost worth seeing because it 's so bad .
1
This movie feel more like a non-stop cry for attention , than an attempt at any kind of satisfying entertainment .
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Love may have been in the air onscreen , but I certainly was n't feeling any of it .
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In addition to the overcooked , ham-fisted direction , which has all the actors reaching for the back row , the dialogue sounds like horrible poetry .
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The very definition of what critics have come to term an `` ambitious failure . ''
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It 's as if De Palma spent an hour setting a fancy table and then served up Kraft Macaroni and Cheese .
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The movie ends with outtakes in which most of the characters forget their lines and just utter ` uhhh , ' which is better than most of the writing in the movie .
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Worthy of the gong .
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While certainly more naturalistic than its Australian counterpart , Amari 's film falls short in building the drama of Lilia 's journey .
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I found the movie as divided against itself as the dysfunctional family it portrays .
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The soul-searching deliberateness of the film , although leavened nicely with dry absurdist wit , eventually becomes too heavy for the plot .
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The movie does n't add anything fresh to the myth .
1
As inept as big-screen remakes of The Avengers and The Wild Wild West .
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Comes across as a relic from a bygone era , and its convolutions ... feel silly rather than plausible .
1
Moves in such odd plot directions and descends into such message-mongering moralism that its good qualities are obscured .
1
It 's a very sincere work , but it would be better as a diary or documentary .
0
Once one experiences Mr. Haneke 's own sadistic tendencies toward his audience , one is left with a sour taste in one 's mouth , and little else .
1
That chirpy songbird Britney Spears has popped up with more mindless drivel .
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It 's a loathsome movie , it really is and it makes absolutely no sense .
1
A chiller resolutely without chills .
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For those of us who respond more strongly to storytelling than computer-generated effects , the new Star Wars installment has n't escaped the rut dug by the last one .
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The director mostly plays it straight , turning Leys ' fable into a listless climb down the social ladder .
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`` Bad '' is the operative word for `` Bad Company , '' and I do n't mean that in a good way .
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Though Frida is easier to swallow than Julie Taymor 's preposterous Titus , the eye candy here lacks considerable brio .
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Drumline is -- the mere suggestion , albeit a visually compelling one , of a fully realized story .
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The whole movie is simply a lazy exercise in bad filmmaking that asks you to not only suspend your disbelief but your intelligence as well .
1
Billy Crystal and Robert De Niro sleepwalk through vulgarities in a sequel you can refuse .
1
It 's loud and boring ; watching it is like being trapped at a bad rock concert .
1
Merely -LRB- and literally -RRB- tosses around sex toys and offers half-hearted paeans to empowerment that are repeatedly undercut by the brutality of the jokes , most at women 's expense .
1
If you want a movie time trip , the 1960 version is a far smoother ride .
1
The story is -- forgive me -- a little thin , and the filmmaking clumsy and rushed .
1
... grows decidedly flimsier with its many out-sized , out of character and logically porous action set pieces .
1
This would have been better than the fiction it has concocted , and there still could have been room for the war scenes .
1
Aggressive self-glorification and a manipulative whitewash .
1