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Stay for the credits and see a devastating comic impersonation by Dustin Hoffman that is revelatory .
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None of the characters or plot-lines are fleshed-out enough to build any interest .
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The whole film has this sneaky feel to it -- as if the director is trying to dupe the viewer into taking it all as Very Important simply because the movie is ugly to look at and not a Hollywood product .
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The only way to tolerate this insipid , brutally clueless film might be with a large dose of painkillers .
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Coppola has made a film of intoxicating atmosphere and little else .
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Bad and baffling from the get-go .
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A series of immaculately composed shots of Patch Adams quietly freaking out does not make for much of a movie .
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At a time when we 've learned the hard way just how complex international terrorism is , Collateral Damage paints an absurdly simplistic picture .
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Like a can of 2-day old Coke .
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You can taste it , but there 's no fizz .
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There 's no excuse for following up a delightful , well-crafted family film with a computer-generated cold fish .
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But they do n't fit well together and neither is well told .
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It 's both sitcomishly predictable and cloying in its attempts to be poignant .
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Other than a mildly engaging central romance , Hospital is sickly entertainment at best and mind-destroying cinematic pollution at worst .
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Jaglom offers the none-too-original premise that everyone involved with moviemaking is a con artist and a liar .
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Outside of Burger 's desire to make some kind of film , it 's really unclear why this project was undertaken
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Let 's see , a haunted house , a haunted ship , what 's next ... Ghost Blimp ?
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A fragile framework upon which to hang broad , mildly fleshed-out characters that seem to have been conjured up only 10 minutes prior to filming .
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By the time the plot grinds itself out in increasingly incoherent fashion , you might be wishing for a watch that makes time go faster rather than the other way around .
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Wes Craven 's presence is felt ; not the Craven of ' A Nightmare on Elm Street ' or ` The Hills Have Eyes , ' but the sad schlock merchant of ` Deadly Friend . '
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But the cinematography is cloudy , the picture making becalmed .
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It 's one long bore .
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It gets old quickly .
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Watch Barbershop again if you 're in need of a Cube fix -- this is n't worth sitting through .
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It 's leaden and predictable , and laughs are lacking .
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... a cinematic disaster so inadvertently sidesplitting it 's worth the price of admission for the ridicule factor alone .
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Skip this dreck , rent Animal House and go back to the source .
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The movie is a desperate miscalculation .
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It gives poor Dana Carvey nothing to do that is really funny , and then expects us to laugh because he acts so goofy all the time .
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We just do n't really care too much about this love story .
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In that setting , their struggle is simply too ludicrous and borderline insulting .
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The Transporter bombards the viewer with so many explosions and side snap kicks that it ends up being surprisingly dull .
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Uzumaki 's interesting social parallel and defiant aesthetic seems a prostituted muse ...
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Large budget notwithstanding , the movie is such a blip on the year 's radar screen that it 's tempting just to go with it for the ride .
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But this time , the old MIB label stands for Milder Is n't Better .
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Feels familiar and tired .
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A retread of material already thoroughly plumbed by Martin Scorsese .
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Instead of making his own style , director Marcus Adams just copies from various sources -- good sources , bad mixture
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Criminal conspiracies and true romances move so easily across racial and cultural lines in the film that it makes My Big Fat Greek Wedding look like an apartheid drama .
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A bore that tends to hammer home every one of its points .
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A story which fails to rise above its disgusting source material .
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It 's fitting that a movie as artificial and soulless as The Country Bears owes its genesis to an animatronic display at Disneyland .
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Starts as an intense political and psychological thriller but is sabotaged by ticking time bombs and other Hollywood-action cliches .
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Completely creatively stillborn and executed in a manner that I 'm not sure could be a single iota worse ... a soulless hunk of exploitative garbage .
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An uneven look into a grim future that does n't come close to the level of intelligence and visual splendour that can be seen in other films based on Philip K. Dick stories .
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Horrible .
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The disjointed mess flows as naturally as Jolie 's hideous yellow ` do .
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Bolstered by an astonishing voice cast -LRB- excepting Love Hewitt -RRB- , an interesting racial tension , and a storyline that I have n't encountered since at least Pete 's Dragon .
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An authentically vague , but ultimately purposeless , study in total pandemonium .
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Makes a joke out of car chases for an hour and then gives us half an hour of car chases .
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As the sulking , moody male hustler in the title role , -LRB- Franco -RRB- has all of Dean 's mannerisms and self-indulgence , but none of his sweetness and vulnerability .
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The only thing to fear about `` Fear Dot Com '' is hitting your head on the theater seat in front of you when you doze off thirty minutes into the film .
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It 's too interested in jerking off in all its Byzantine incarnations to bother pleasuring its audience .
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` Synthetic ' is the best description of this well-meaning , beautifully produced film that sacrifices its promise for a high-powered star pedigree .
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It concentrates far too much on the awkward interplay and utter lack of chemistry between Chan and Hewitt .
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Impostor ca n't think of a thing to do with these characters except have them run through dark tunnels , fight off various anonymous attackers , and evade elaborate surveillance technologies .
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Judd 's characters ought to pick up the durable best seller Smart Women , Foolish Choices for advice .
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The script has less spice than a rat burger and The Rock 's fighting skills are more in line with Steven Seagal .
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This ill-conceived and expensive project winds up looking like a bunch of talented thesps slumming it .
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... there 's a choppy , surface-effect feeling to the whole enterprise .
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Does n't get the job done , running off the limited chemistry created by Ralph Fiennes and Jennifer Lopez .
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A particularly joyless , and exceedingly dull , period coming-of-age tale .
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It 's impossible to indulge the fanciful daydreams of Janice Beard -LRB- Eileen Walsh -RRB- when her real-life persona is so charmless and vacant .
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... it was n't the subject matter that ultimately defeated the film ... It was the unfulfilling , incongruous , `` wait a second , did I miss something ? ''
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This is a movie where the most notable observation is how long you 've been sitting still .
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Poor editing , bad bluescreen , and ultra-cheesy dialogue highlight the radical action .
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It 's super - violent , super-serious and super-stupid .
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Just a string of stale gags , with no good inside dope , and no particular bite .
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It 's Splash without the jokes .
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The Château would have been benefited from a sharper , cleaner script before it went in front of the camera .
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Shallow , noisy and pretentious .
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Morrissette has performed a difficult task indeed - he 's taken one of the world 's most fascinating stories and made it dull , lifeless , and irritating .
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This loud and thoroughly obnoxious comedy about a pair of squabbling working-class spouses is a deeply unpleasant experience .
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It 's better than The Phantom Menace .
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But unless you 're an absolute raving Star Wars junkie , it is n't much fun .
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Philosophically , intellectually and logistically a mess .
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A standard police-oriented drama that , were it not for De Niro 's participation , would have likely wound up a TNT Original .
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Coupling disgracefully written dialogue with flailing bodily movements that substitute for acting , Circuit is the awkwardly paced soap opera-ish story .
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Hollywood Ending just is n't very funny .
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Though clearly well-intentioned , this cross-cultural soap opera is painfully formulaic and stilted .
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A technical triumph and an extraordinary bore .
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I can easily imagine Benigni 's Pinocchio becoming a Christmas perennial .
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Coal is n't as easy to come by as it used to be and this would be a worthy substitute for naughty children 's stockings .
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Two hours of junk .
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A clumsily manufactured exploitation flick , a style-free exercise in manipulation and mayhem .
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The whole affair , true story or not , feels incredibly hokey ... -LRB- it -RRB- comes off like a Hallmark commercial .
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What 's missing is what we call the ` wow ' factor .
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The nicest thing that can be said about Stealing Harvard -LRB- which might have been called Freddy Gets Molested by a Dog -RRB- is that it 's not as obnoxious as Tom Green 's Freddie Got Fingered .
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... Tara Reid plays a college journalist , but she looks like the six-time winner of the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Pageant , so I do n't know what she 's doing in here ...
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The young stars are too cute ; the story and ensuing complications are too manipulative ; the message is too blatant ; the resolutions are too convenient .
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Normally , Rohmer 's talky films fascinate me , but when he moves his setting to the past , and relies on a historical text , he loses the richness of characterization that makes his films so memorable .
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It 's been 13 months and 295 preview screenings since I last walked out on a movie , but Resident Evil really earned my indignant , preemptive departure .
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This picture is mostly a lump of run-of-the-mill profanity sprinkled with a few remarks so geared toward engendering audience sympathy that you might think he was running for office -- or trying to win over a probation officer .
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But the movie 's narrative hook is way too muddled to be an effectively chilling guilty pleasure .
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Though it goes further than both , anyone who has seen The Hunger or Cat People will find little new here , but a tasty performance from Vincent Gallo lifts this tale of cannibal lust above the ordinary .
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A Blair Witch - style adventure that plays like a bad soap opera , with passable performances from everyone in the cast .
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Diaz wears out her welcome in her most charmless performance
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It is too bad that this likable movie is n't more accomplished .
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The actors try hard but come off too amateurish and awkward .
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The plot has a number of holes , and at times it 's simply baffling .
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